#poetryreblogs
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devinetheory-2 · 1 year ago
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In this place
I can close my eyes 
and still see her face...
In a daze as I attempt 
to conceal this pain.
Because honestly nobody
Deserves to feel this way.
 I tried to love all of her still 
and it was still in vain
Don't want to let go
But you probably already know
That It's so hard 
to heal this way.
And I hate how I can feel it all
And how they'll swear 
That they're here....
...and I can see them and hear them
But they're not real at all.
Now Im a mess tho
Because I refused to let go
Whispers echo
Down smoke & mirrored halls...
But I can still feel them
Cupid shot an arrow
And it killed him
Nothing left of the well
I pull tears from
There can be no love 
When fears involved...
How bitter sweet 
The nostalgia is appealing
But All of these memories
lead me to loss...
Dumbed down and numb now
And I can feel it all
In this dark place
My memory holds the heartbreak
In glass jars
Runnin from my past hard
Prevents any attempt 
For me to heal at all....
Savage lack of compassion
And a tragic falls...
Wouldn't break the habit
She had to have it all....
Couldn't bring the passion back
So now the magics gone
And its the saddest song...
Stuck in the past
attempted to drag
all her past wrongs
From past wars
and never took her mask off...
and I've got the worst luck with love
They're all in love with the feeling
So I feel like I've already lost...
I should know best
Nothing is real
And you can't steal 
what has a cost....
In order to grow
I had to fall...
You never knew the me
That had it all
You and me
could have had it all...
- Devine Theory
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vlovelovette · 10 months ago
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wordbinge · 1 year ago
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Prev url?
Poetryreblogs
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inkandpins · 2 years ago
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I Always Lose the Tape
or the tongue– that tiny lip sticks shut every time I need it.
Outside, I see you throwing a football, there and back, there and back, and I wonder if the game will ever end. If I turn away to focus on this damned tape, will the ball touch the ground? Will I miss it?
Somewhere someone is deciding how to say goodbye to me. Whether they’ll hug me with both arms or just stand with that non-committal see-you-soon. Someone���s dropped the ball without me looking. Someone will stop by and lean back in my chair, asking you about your day. Someone’s always finishing their cup of tea before it’s been left too long to cool. 
It’s hard to pack for the rest of your life. A lot can go wrong if you’re left too long to think, if you’ve slept through the days, dream-finger- tips searching for that tiny lip, the okay to peel away.
I entomb my precious objects in layers sealed with the promise that they won’t splinter in the disruption– I would feel so sinful to unwrap shards. but the trees go on waving their twisted shuffling hands.
N.Y. A quiet patch of grass amongst the chaos, 10.12.22
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sparkandashes · 6 years ago
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I wonder if you could easily forget me or is it that I was never the one in your memory?
@sparkandashes via tumblr
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eternalscarsworld · 6 years ago
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" There will be less problems in our life if we start to understand other's .....
-Nightingale
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espressoandsnow · 5 years ago
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Let’s get spoopy 👻
Beware, dead end.
It’s All Hallow’s Eve and all hell has broke loose. There’s a lump in my throat and a neck in my noose.
The lone-star shines sharp through the mist. An owl hoot-howls as I firm-form a fist.
The wind whispers spooky-sweet nothings through holey hedge-rows.
The low rumbling of a train comes, and comes,      and comes             and goes.
The church-bell chimes,                  eleven times.
- God knows I hope to see the witching hour,   but I’ve seen a ghost tonight and this path I walk leads nowhere.
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devinetheory-2 · 1 year ago
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I'm sorry I'm not sorry
I couldn't just be
Their stress-free
deprivation box.
Shameless thoughts
I've faded off
Because my chaos threatens
to break their safety locks.
And I'm taking off
Ignoring the fake
Aim take the safety off
And I haven't found an answer
To the pain yet
Exhausted
Writing rain checks
To the process
of my brain health
Try to get Enlightenment
Life is just
an insane train wreck
And I don't know how
to fight the shit
So I sit back
with a 6 pack
And use the fire inside
That keeps me alive
To light my spliff
Which chain reacts
to ignite my gift
Wondering how much longer
I can live life like this
And I can't help but wanna be more
But I am armed c4
On the ledge
on the 17th floor
Looking down at her ghost
Is it me or does it seem
That she needs more
Worrying about me
Has never been
About me before
Lost within her dream
Somehow took a detour
I am not peace...or
Release or
The power of belief
But I tried to believe
I could be yours.
The forth horse cometh
I can see more
They want to feed me war
180 degrees
I am diseased
To thee core
I am not a king
And you're right
I couldn't agree more
I have my point of view
and I've seen yours
honestly I'm probably
in a little bit of danger
considering my level of anger
And the fact that
I don't even want to be
A - ny - more
I try to be grateful
for my days because
I don't have many more
As shes on stage strumming
my pain with her fingers
As she sings her sirens song
I bring her the detonator
Depression threatening
to arrest me later
Then she calls
And seconds later
it's like she's my respirator
I can feel her angels breath
Head on my chest
The after position
that I love the best
But only when I'm
on my best behavior
The Way she moves
provokes my protective nature
Get aggressive
and you'll be a memory
just seconds later
With no evidence
for the investigator
And no one on earth
Will get to save ya
Then I awaken from the dream
Floating impossibly
The cost is cheap
These thoughts are deep
Come get lost in me
And there are different variations
behind each door
you are a star
and I am of the Earth
and the Moon seems
too high a dream
for me to reach for
But we have pain
and I feel like I love in vain
if I don't bleed yours
I'm not insane
I just bleed more
I feel everything
Intensely
Can't keep up with the beat
Im tired
But too wired to sleep
Defeat
- DT
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devinetheory-2 · 2 years ago
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My life is a bad movie
I walk a thin line on an incline
As I attempt to not let
my sadness consume me...
Bad little Doobie bob
Always after the loot
And even tho she's gone
Her words still move me....
Missing those days
when she would pursue me
And no I'm not the only one
I knew it
But still, I let her lie to me....
Blowing up jaw locked listening
to Friction and spice groove me
Still the only one I let get away
Feeling like Im ready to die
And this is the day
I miss the way
My fingertips would
Get to trace
Lines down her skin
and sparks would arc
And the light
Would hit her face
God damn I miss your mystic ways
Witchy woman intrigued
By the pain I carry
Because she read me from afar
And I made her crystal break
Lines down my glass I can't get too straight
Everything's broken now
and I cant fix it
Wishin this life
wasnt just a lie i been livin
Peace, a gift you can't give away
Scars on my heart
Match the lines down my wrist today
From missed attempts
But she loves me and I'm convinced of it
....
Devine Theory
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devinetheory-2 · 10 months ago
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The writing below is from a dear friend
I was victimized by
her riteous heaven dipped
feared respected and revered pen.
Her wand is dark magic
Heavily guarded
tragic semi automatic
emphatic charismatic distraction
She keeps coming back like elastic
I can't help but feel that
the attraction
Between our souls
and our hearts is like magnets.
All you needed was one pen
And I was caught in your dragnet
An addict that won't break the habit
I cant help it
As passion had a chemical reaction
With tragedy
and gave birth to bat shit...
And I loved with everything I had
Back then....
Thank you for being you
Unapologetically savage
And tragicly empathic
Intergalactic rabbit
And I think I'm not afraid
As I am intoxicated by her magic...
And collapse in orgasmic
fantastic compassion
Animalistic
Tender madness
I'll eat you alive
In cannibalistic fashion...
But it always ends
in poetic madness.
As all things do
That are dangerous,
fast and attractive
As I fall into her dream
Wondering what it all means
I fade into the blackness...
- Devine Theory 👆 😁
rayven-interrupted 👇
Nov 10, 2023
He writes me, so indicatively
Perfectly capturing all my tragedies
His pen is the beauty of my insanity
🖤
................................................................................................
She's watched me
descend from calamity
I can't pretend
Im not treading water anymore
Lust, lack of trust
Thick like sand
I've lost the entire world
When it was just in my hands....
I will not survive my own gravity...
And it always comes back to me
I pay for the weight of my mistakes
With these tragedies...
The hitman...
And every bullet fired is actually
Iron blasphemy
Sent from the mouth of God
With unforgiving accuracy
Ceasar watching the ones I loved
With everything in this now
Empty cavity take their justified
Stab at me
Its my own fault
As I dozed off
I chose wrong
And now my soul owes cost
my spirit begins to atrophy...
Standing at the gates of heaven
Hoping they'll have me
And God isn't mad at me
Because somewhere along
this dark and lonely road
Where you have been traveling
With your back to me
I was kinda getting used
to being someone you loved
But changed your act
And threw a toaster
in the bath with me....
(Shocking....)
And within this insantiy
we've lost our humanity
As the demons birthed
of my darkness pull at me
Grabbing me dragging me
Armed with matches and
Cans of gasoline
She tells me that she loves me
Narcissistic vanity
I try to escape its inevitable grasp
But death just rolls her eyes
And laughs at me...
While I'm chased into never
forever by my past
this fight is so old
Her essence now is so cold
And there is no limit to its savagry...
See, I've never felt like I've belonged
To this world of fake magic dreams
Where the REAL ones will die
Leaving holes inside
And their flesh just rots
for the maggots to eat.
And yeah.... She lied,
miserable little harlot star
She'd burn me down
Leaving nothing but scarlet scars
Now ive lost myself again
in this starlit dark
until I would feel like
the wrong one died
Tearing my heart apart
Just saying that
Made trauma that I cant repress
Now I beg for death
Nothing but salty tears
And anguish left
The danger is in the anger
Because I can't release
I might bury my grief
Deep into some strangers chest.
Dont look into my soul
Thats where my flames are kept
Fueled by her games
until my brain resets
Stained by the charred remains
Of regrets and her angry threats
I write about it
And pretend
some of the pain just left...
Don't judge me
This world has made me insane
my Guardian Angels have to be drained
And insanely stressed
Thinking
I should maybe rest
But I keep up the fight
Like my line
cant be pressed
But today
i just remain depressed
A prisoner....
Chained to my regret.
Dont judge me...
I played my best
- Devine Theory
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sparkandashes · 6 years ago
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Lovely collab with the amazing @fragments-of-my-mind :)
Loving You
I wish it was as easy as it seems,
Because dear, how do I give myself the love I deserve,
When I do not find myself deserving enough,
All I know is, I’m worthless.
It is never easy my dear,
Because the love you need is only the love you can provide,
For no one else can be worthy enough of your love,
Other than yourself, first and foremost.
My heart has no love left for myself,
I feel as if I’m already too empty to give myself anything now, for all the love I had,
Or I still have,
none of it is for me.
How can a heart love another when it doesn’t love the self,
Look a little deeper, look a little harder,
There is still love within you my dear,
Immense love, which resides for you and you alone.
When I peep into my heart,
All I find is a river of love that flows just for him,
Maybe all the love I had for myself started belonging to someone long before I could impart some of it to me.
Your heart is so much more than meets the eye,
With its hidden corridors and chambers, let’s go and find the love that you need,
For the love you had for him might still exist, but it can not over power the love,
The love that still exists within you, for you.
But I don’t feel like loving myself,
I’m fine being unloved and unwanted,
Because now I’ve agreed that I’m useless and worthless, no longer to anyone, anything I do mean.
You may not feel like loving a beautiful self that’s yours,
But it’s an obligation upon me to find the love that has always existed within you,
Not for me, but for yourself, for you’re worth so much more than you think,
In finding the love for yourself, have I fallen in love with you.
Maybe people here,
who exist in my life,
They’ve made it all the more difficult for me to give myself the love I deserve,
For no longer I seem beautiful to my own eyes.
Perhaps they have taken away the love from within you,
That they really shouldn’t have,
To make you lose your beauty, but that’s why I am here,
To rekindle the love within you, for you alone.
- Ashes and Fragments
A beautiful collab with the wonderful @sparkandashes =’)
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inkandpins · 3 years ago
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Mornings and Nights
I've learned to fill the in-between, the "meantime," I spend it serious, head buried with the busyness of someone running away from the dark, always chasing the sun around the oceans--- never to rest if I am to remain midday.
Do we run faster towards things we love or away from that which we fear? I'm not sure what I'm striving for, only the thought that I could lose everything pursues me, I have a few hours' headstart. I am running behind.
The light hours are shorter now, 7:30 it rises-- 4:30 it sets. In the blue shadows, I allow myself to smile, to cry. When the day starts I am always surprised at the previously unknown capacities of the heart. When it comes to you, there are no limitations.
It is just these mornings and nights I permit myself now. N.Y. At the close of the year, 12.21
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inkandpins · 3 years ago
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Red-eye
I’ve misplaced the words to describe the ache in my chest. Like weak lungs, my breath racks me when I read your messages. Do you remember? “We’ll make it through this, I promise.”
The lights are off and I’m crying in my seat. It’s not your fault or mine. Which of us didn’t keep our promises?
The next day, I greet you with a closed-lipped smile, swallowing down the desperation. I can’t tell if hiding myself from you is in your favor or mine. Even distracted, I am so heartbroken. The empty sand goes on for miles and miles— I see you on the horizon. The brimming sky fills me with joy, I see you in the stars. I'm hurtling through the sky, a speck of debris gaining speed and heat, emanating bright light. What lovers are looking up at me feeling blessed? Do you know we call meteors "falling stars" and that they can assume different colors?
Before they hit the ground, they burn. I hate making decisions about us without you. What decisions are you making without me?
I write you consistently. I count the hours. I lack the words.
N.Y. Flight back to New York, Thanksgiving
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inkandpins · 3 years ago
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how can a city be ours? A place with almost 8.5 million residents-- people that really live there, travel back and forth from work each day, spend hard-earned money on number-bloated rent, who sit in the parks, have a cafe or bar or restaurant that's considered their "spot..."
And yet, after a handful of days spent in your sunlight-- because it was brought with you to that city, packed in an overflowing suitcase you precariously left in front of the door-- the one I tripped over, stubbing my toe-- after a handful of days exploring the streets together, that time you showed me around like a native and shared your daydreams with me so that they'd invade my head and become mine--
After I was here and you were there for so long... and you became one of the residents-- the ones who truly belong. When I returned, I couldn't find the corner store you showed me. Perhaps it closed because of covid-- perhaps it closed because we stopped going. It was no longer our "spot" and the store recoiled from our traitorous behavior.
So now that city is yours. When I return, I step gingerly through the cars and the streets in anticipation-- in apprehension of being caught trespassing in a place I do not belong, and never have.
N.Y.
New york city, 7. 2021
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inkandpins · 4 years ago
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different people
all my dreams are patchworks of different people-- his eyes, your cheek
strange hands grasp my slender ankle lifting me into the air. my head spins
and I stare at the spot in the corner of my room, where you always sat watching me 
twirling with my arms above my head to the music. I focus on that space,
my eyes fall on it again  and again.
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sparkandashes · 6 years ago
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Make someone happy, make them a part of you, make yourself a part of them and then suddenly leave them, leave them to breathe while all they feel is dead, absolute dead from within, for the voids people like you leave would never ever fill. And people like us are cursed perhaps to be used by everyone who don't care much about the ones who mean nothing to them, anymore. No free time now, so no communication. Great!
@sparkandashes via tumblr
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