rhainontheshelves
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rhainontheshelves · 1 year ago
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Finally in a writing mood again! Expect an angsty royalty au with Sunghoon in the near,,, sometime
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rhainontheshelves · 1 year ago
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Remember, Recover
Member: Bang Chan {Stray Kids} and afab!reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, light smut description
Word Count: 4238
A/N: This is the complete version of a fic I posted back in 2019! Rip It finally passed my writer's uncertainty test so out it goes. Happy reading!- Rhin
     “... How long are you going to stay on my lap?”
     “However long it takes to finish this melody. Deal with it.” I said, plunking out a string of notes on the keyboard. Figuring out a concrete sheet of music was difficult when all I had was some sound clips Chan had come up with years ago. But, nevertheless, I managed to connect them and came up with a pretty good composition. I saved the file with a little “Yay!” and leaned back. 
     Chan groaned as my weight shifted further back on his legs. “Damn (Y/N), how many cheeseburgers did you eat today?”
     “Not as many as you. How many did you order, four?” I smirked.
     “It was only three, excuse me! And they were singles, you can’t blame me for cheating the system and getting three singles for less than a triple.”
     “Only because we’re broke and ordering off the dollar menu,” I said, twisting around to face him, “and two medium fries! Who are you, an unhealthy version of Gaston?”
     “Hey, don’t compare me to that jerk!” Chan tried hard to keep a straight offended face. “And I’m very healthy, thank you very much.”
     A couple moments of silence was enough to break my mask and burst out laughing. Chan’s face was too good not to. He chuckled along with me and stroked my hair as I leaned into his chest, trying to pull myself together. 
     “Wow, I’m tired,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “What time is it?”
     Chan glanced over to the computer. “Midnight on the dot.”
     “We have officially spent five hours in this dumb room.” I got up and grabbed a Pepsi from the minifridge. “Want one?”
     All Chan had to do was hold a hand out for me to toss one to him. Together, we unscrewed the lids and took huge swigs. We were in for a long night, so we needed all the energy we could get. 
     “Let’s take a break.” Chan said, rolling over to the couch and propping his feet up. “My brain is tired from trying to pull feelings and experiences from years ago up for lyrics.”
     I flopped on the couch, thinking of a way I could help out. To be honest, I hadn’t done anything of that nature since I graduated, and that was just about a year ago. The memory was pretty hazy (it was a black-out type of night), so that wouldn’t help out a lot.
     “(Y/N), do you trust me?” Chan asked out of the blue. 
     “What is that supposed to mean?”
     “Well, if this song is truly about sex, wouldn’t we need some moans in the background or something? The good ol’ bed creaks are getting a bit overused in this industry.”
     It took me a minute to process what Chan meant. “Wait… you want me to-”
     “No! Not if you don’t want to,” Chan’s cheeks turned red, “we can always pull audio from porn or something!”
     I looked at my best friend, sighed, and shook my head. “You’re lucky we need to get this track done by tomorrow afternoon,” I got up, turned off the lights, and went into the booth. 
     “Why did you-”
     “So I can still have some dignity by the end of the night,” I said into the microphone. “Can we just get a series and cut it into the song? It’s too tedious to do stuff at exact moments.”
     “That’s fine by me.” Chan affirmed. “Just say so when you’re done.”
     I awkwardly stood in the booth for a bit, trying to figure out the logistics of this. The microphone that was hooked up wasn’t omnidirectional, so getting into the right position for the audio to be captured was a big problem. Also the fact that Chan was here made me extremely nervous. I didn’t know why; we could usually talk for hours about this stuff. Maybe it was because it was for real instead of the usual imaginary scenarios. 
     Pulling up a chair, I sat down in it and carefully reached out toward the mic stand. I found the knob that adjusted the height and brought it down to its lowest position. Then, making myself as comfortable as I could be, I unbuttoned my jeans and slid a hand down. 
     “Any time now, (Y/N).” Chan’s voice boomed. The sudden fracture in the silence scared me and made me lose my start. 
     “Damn it Chan, I was just getting warmed up,” I muttered. “Just starting to get focused.”
     “Oh, sorry.” His voice sounded tiny over the speaker system. 
     “You’re good, just don’t do that again, okay?”
     “Got it.” With that, the static of an open line cut off, leaving me back at square one. 
     I sat there for a bit, trying to bring up a picture in my head that I could jack off to. Nothing in particular was coming to mind, except feeling something hard as I sat on Chan’s lap just a couple minutes ago. I zoned in on that feeling, and started to find something I could associate it with… and then my brain betrayed me. 
     “Hey Chan… do you remember that party we went to a couple years back? You needed to blow off some steam from being cooped up with the guys too long and I needed some relief from college?”
     Static started buzzing again. “Yeah, I remember that. It was a fun night.”
     “I don’t know any other way to say this, but… I can’t get this image of you out of my head… I think we did something that night.”
     “I wouldn’t be surprised if we did. We were pretty drunk.”
     “No, you don’t understand. All I can remember after the sixth shot of whiskey is undoing someone’s belt while they marked me up. Their shirt was red, like that one button-up you have that I like so much.”
     “Oh… that… yeah, that was me.”
     “You remember?” Honestly, I was shocked. I was certain that Chan got even drunker than I did.
     “Yeah, every second. I wasn’t as drunk as you then.”
     “Well, tell me about it then, since I obviously don’t remember.”
     “Um, okay.” There was some hesitation there. I knew Chan well enough to know that this was important to him for some reason; he would have told me about it sooner if it wasn’t.
     “Hey, it’s okay Chan.” I soothed him. “It won’t mess up our friendship.”
     “Are you sure?” his voice was shaky. 
     “I’m absolutely positive.”
     “Well, it started when you pulled me away from the dance floor. Apparently I was grinding on some girl you didn’t like. I could tell you were getting faded, so I didn’t take it too seriously. As you were ranting about it, you started to say peculiar things. Like, “you have no right to look that fine” and “if you had another button undone and your sleeves already rolled up when you picked me up we would have never left the house”, things like that. Obviously I had turned you on and drunk (Y/N) gets really bold and horny. I don’t really remember what you said next, but I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you.”
     I was starting to remember, recalling the atmosphere and how Chan looked that night. That was one of the top times where I just wanted to hop on his dick and ride the night away. I wasn’t proud of it, but it happened. 
     “You backed me up against a wall and started unbuttoning my shirt. I realized where we were going at that point and quickly picked you up and headed towards the nearest room so we could have some privacy. Luckily it was a bedroom and the door was able to be locked. You started working on my belt and I gave you two hickeys on your shoulder. Once that belt was gone, you started undressing and I lost it. Lust just burned through me and you seemed pleased that you brought it on.”
     Chan was slightly caught off guard as whimpers came through the other end of the mic. (Y/N) must be remembering and getting off on that. He couldn’t deny that his mind was roaming back to then as well. 
     “Chan, don’t stop talking. I want to remember everything.” (Y/N) whined.
     Chan could feel the lust creeping up again. It made him cocky; it made him want to hear what (Y/N) had to offer. “Everything?”
     “Everything.”
     “I picked you up and threw you on the bed, trapping you under my body. You pulled me down for another kiss, but I was already there. As we made out, my hands traveled around, We pulled apart for air and I swear you looked like an angel, all out on display for me. You begged for me to do something, anything… so I got on my knees and pulled you forward until I could devour you properly.”
     Chan described the rest of the encounter in graphic detail, and that was more than enough to help me out. By the end of it, I had cummed twice and moaned up a storm. I was confident that I had recorded good material. 
     “Alright, that’s a wrap.” I stated as I buttoned up my jeans. 
     Chan didn’t answer. 
     “Chan?” I called as I exited the room. 
     He wasn’t at the soundboard. The door was wide open though. 
     “Chris?” I called again, sticking my head out of the door.
     No one was there to hear me. 
     Concerned, I picked my phone off of the coffee table and there was a notification for a text - from Chan. 
     Went out to grab some food. I’ll be back soon
     I ended up spending the rest of the night in the studio- without Chan. I cut the audio and put it into the backtrack as best I could. I told myself that he would come back and rearrange it the way he wanted it to be, but around 4:30 AM I started to doubt that. I recorded my parts that were marked on the lyric sheet, but soon I was so exhausted that my voice didn’t sound like mine anymore. The smell I left behind made me so nauseous that I sprayed what seemed like half a can of air freshener all around the studio before crashing on the couch. 
     “... (Y/N)! (Y/N), wake up!” A voice called as they shook my shoulder. 
     “Huh?” My eyes finally registered the light and I put my arm over them. “What time is it?”
     “It is currently 9:30. Where’d Chan go?”
     With that comment, my eyes flew open and I got a good look at who awakened me. It was Jisung, another one of the Stray Kids members I had gotten close with. If Jisung was here… then Chan never came back.
     “He left.” I said bluntly as I sat up and rubbed the sleepiness out of my eyes. 
     “What?” 
     “He left. He went to get food and never came back.”
     “Shit.” Jisung breathed. He whipped out his phone and called someone, presumably another member. “Hey Changbin, did Chan ever come back last night? No? Well, (Y/N) doesn’t know where he is either. Yep- yeah. I will. See ya.” With that, he hung up and ran his fingers through his hair. 
     “He’ll turn up.” I tried to comfort him. “At least you all don’t have anywhere to be today.”
     “I guess.” Jisung sounded really bummed and concerned. “He never does this, not without contacting one of us first.”
     I let Jisung think for a minute before standing up and stretching. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I need to run home and shower and change. Being in here for 11 hours isn’t too good on the hygiene.”
     “When will you get back?”
     “About 30, 45 minutes? Somewhere around there.”
     “Good, because I still need to think about whether I should help you finish this track or not. Judging by those lyrics…” he nodded toward the sheet of paper and grinned, “I don’t think I should be.”
     I turned a dark shade of red before darting out the door. I was too embarrassed about last night to stay in the studio one second longer. God forbid I was there when Jisung listened to what I had so far. I mean, I trusted him, but having him hear bare audio of me moaning was pushing the bar a little bit more than a lot. When effects and vocals and the other layers of the backing was put on over it, I wouldn’t have a problem with people listening, but in the raw form it was in now, it was too intimate.
     As I walked back to my apartment, I mulled over why Chan had left. I wanted to believe that it was for some normal reason, like he was feeling too uncomfortable to stay or he actually went to grab food, but something had distracted him. Maybe he was sleeping at the dorms and nobody had noticed yet, or he was back at my place sleeping. Maybe it was nothing to worry about and he would be back and fixing all of my mistakes when I got back to the studio. But, deep in my heart, I knew it was way more complicated than that. 
     The project was put on hold indefinitely until Chan could be found. I looked everywhere with the rest of Stray Kids, checking his most frequented places and even calling one of his relatives that lived in the area. Any place I recalled him liking, I went and searched every nook and cranny.  
     “Yeah, no luck on my end either,” I told Minho on the phone. “He’s dropped off the face of the planet.”
     “Damn! He couldn’t have gone far.” Minho growled. 
     “We should probably stop looking for him.” Jeongin’s voice came through. “It’s Chan. He’s not stupid. He’ll be back before we know it.” 
     I sighed, not wanting to admit that the youngest was right. “I’m still worried about him.”
     “Worrying won’t do us any good at this point. I agree with Jeongin.”
     “Okay. Make sure the others know. I’ll give you any updates if I have any.” With that, I was left alone with my thoughts.
     I wandered around the part of town I had ended up in. Ever since my brain had fully woken up, I had been replaying last night over and over, trying to pick out the point where Chan had dropped out. The frustrating part was, I had absolutely no clue. I had gotten so lost in myself that I had blocked Chan out. Now that we couldn’t find him, I felt extremely guilty. I found a bench to sit on and wait through the wave of fresh emotions. How could I have been so insensitive to his feelings about the situation? I should have sensed them sooner. 
     A cold drop of liquid on the back of my neck brought me into reality again. I watched the pavement turn darker as it started to sprinkle. Watching the rain... wait. 
     I was reminded of a very obscure memory. Chan and I had only known each other for a couple months. We had to meet up to finish a group project for school, and if I remembered right, we had met up in the park behind me. We were a paragraph out from finishing when it started to rain just like this. In a rush to protect our work, Chan pulled me to the cafe across the street. Had he? I couldn’t clearly recall. 
     Shielding my face from the rain, I wandered across the street, looking for a cafe. The other businesses looked so dry and inviting, but I couldn’t stop until I found what I was looking for. 
     Finally, I found a cafe a few blocks over from where I thought it was. By this point I was absolutely soaked, but I didn’t care. The thought of finally finding Chan was giving me a small adrenaline rush. 
     A little tinkling bell greeted me as I walked into the warm cafe. The smell of fresh pastries and coffee made my stomach growl. I had been so preoccupied with the search that I hadn’t eaten all day. 
      “Hello!” A kind voice called from the counter. 
      “Hello!” I responded. Walking up, I started scanning the menu. Now that we had called the search off, it wouldn’t hurt to take a break, right?
     “It’s certainly coming down out there, isn’t it?” the barista asked with a hint of amusement in her voice. 
     “Yes, ma’am. I must be a sight for sore eyes.”
     “You do look a little frazzled. Not the worst I’ve seen these past couple of days, though.”
     “Oh, really?”
     “Yeah. A guy came in late last night totally drunk. My manager took pity on him and got him a hotel room.”
     My breath hitched. “Did he happen to have curly brown hair? A little taller than me, muscular?”
     The barista raised an eyebrow. “Do you know him?”
     “I’m looking for him, actually. If you could tell me which hotel he’s at, I would really appreciate it.”
     “Lemme call my manager real quick.” the barista disappeared into the kitchen for a couple of minutes, then returned with a piece of paper. “Here’s the address and room number. The room’s paid for, so don’t worry about that.” 
     I took the paper from her. “Thank you so much! We’ve been worried about him.”
     “I’m glad someone cares. He was rambling on about letting someone important down. It was really sad.”
     That really concerned me. I had never known Chan to be a talkative or a sad drunk, nevermind the fact that he was drunk in the first place. Whatever he was battling, he really wanted to get away from it. “I would like to order some food and coffee to go. I imagine he’ll be hungry, and to be honest I am as well.”
     The barista’s eyes lit up. “Sure! What would you like?”
     Twenty five minutes later, I approached a local hotel with warm soup and coffee. The rain had stopped, but dark clouds still hung in the sky. It struck me just how late it had become; my phone informed me that it was nearing a quarter past five. The sun would go down soon. 
     The desk attendant looked up at me expectantly as I entered. “Hi, I’m here to visit the person in room 24?” 
     “Okay. You can go on up.” they went back to writing in the notebook they had.
     The layout of this small hotel was confusing, but eventually I found my way up to the second floor and found room 24. I cautiously knocked on the door, listening for any kind of response from the other side. Hearing nothing, I knocked again and said, “I brought some food for you.”
     A faint voice called back, “The door’s unlocked.”
     I sighed in relief, thankful that my best friend was alive and talking. Hauling the food into one arm for a moment, I turned the knob and poked my head into the room.
     It was a cozy little suite. One queen-sized bed, with the typical white duvet. An armchair in vaguely matching upholstery was placed near the window, alongside a circular coffee table. A door suggested either an attached bathroom or a closet. However, the main feature of the room was in bed, looking very sleepy and surprised to see me at his door. 
     “Hey Chris. I have soup and coffee, if you have the stomach for it. I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve eaten…” I entered and placed the food on the coffee table. 
     The man’s expression was hard to read. There was confusion, like he was wondering how I found him, but there was also apprehension and guilt. The way he curled into himself as I sat next to him on the bed didn’t escape my attention. “Me and the boys looked all day for you. I’m so glad you’re safe.”
     Chan fiddled with his hands, avoiding eye contact.
     “Listen… I’m sorry about last night. It was selfish of me. I understand if we just don’t talk about it again.” 
     Chan’s silence was making me increasingly anxious. Normally, I would have thrown myself at him by now, begging for forgiveness or even a glance in my direction. But this was serious. The possibility of this ruining our friendship was suffocating me to the point of mirroring Chan’s attitude. “If you want me to leave, I can. This must have been emotional for you, I don’t want to make it worse.”
     At that, Chan reached his hand out, placing it in the space between us. LIke he didn’t want me to leave. Like he was telling me to stay. 
     I placed my hand over his, slowly curling my fingers until I was holding his hand. I didn’t dare ask any questions; he needed to work through this for himself. He would talk when he was ready. To distract myself, I looked out the window and watched the sunset through the buildings. 
     Chan buried his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel the remnants of tears on his cheeks and smell the day-old beer on his breath. My free hand slowly came up to run through his unkempt, curly locks in attempts to comfort him. If all he needed was to sit here for the rest of eternity, I would surely do it. 
     “I got hammered after.” Chan said low and rough and soft, like he hadn’t spoken for days and cried instead. 
     “...after?”
     “After we fucked at the party. I don’t know why it suddenly crashed over me, but I couldn’t deal with the fact that I felt like I betrayed and used you. I remember downing three of the highest concentrated beers they had in a row before passing out on the couch.”
     That explained why Chan was so much more hungover than I was. It also explained why he had distanced himself from me- then and now. In the days afterward, I had felt so confused and angry at myself because Chan avoided me at all costs. He wouldn’t answer my texts, he wouldn’t even look at me whenever we bumped into each other. I had to call Changbin to find out an inkling of the reason and proceeded to send a huge apology letter to Chan. Of course, Chan being Chan, he said “No, I should be the one apologizing.” and went back to being my best friend. Now, I realized that I made Chan go through that all over again and I felt extremely guilty. 
     “Chan, I’m so sorry for doing that to you. I was drunk and stupid and-”
     “You were just voicing something you had kept for a long time.” Chan’s soft voice brought my excitement down again. “I used you to satisfy my own needs.”
     “No!” I shook my head vigorously. “No, that’s not it. I know you, Chan. If there wasn’t a desire there, you would have carried me out of there and dropped me at home. There’s something else. Chan, do you- do you like me?”
     There. I had said it. The one question that had been on both of our minds pretty much since the time we met. There were green flags everywhere, and we were forcing ourselves to be oblivious to them out of fear. Our friends would constantly point them out, but we were scared that we would lose each other if we asked. That line we so clearly drew, and I just crossed it. 
     His answer was so quiet, I almost missed it. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
    “Good, because I like you too.”
     The relief that washed over Chan’s face was so freeing. He looked me in the eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever, and his eyes were shining brighter than the moon. Even as I leaned in to kiss him, a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. 
     His lips were a bit chapped, but that was fine with me. Each kiss held a gentleness and a purpose that overrode any uncomfortable feelings. Chan latched his strong arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I smiled and brought my hand up to guide our motions in order to adjust to the closer proximity, but he grabbed my hand and brought it back down, intertwining our fingers. 
     When we stopped to catch our breaths, I was grinning from ear to ear, glad that this conflict was finally over. Glad that we could be happy again. 
Epilogue
     “Are you ever going to finish this, hyung? Didn’t you make a deal with the company over it?” Jisung picked up a piece of paper from off of the table where Chan had dumped out his lyrics portfolio. Half of them weren’t finished, but that was the best place to start when it was time to start working on a new album. 
     Chan furrowed his eyebrows. “Finish what?” 
     “The song you were pulling an all-nighter to make with (Y/N) a couple months ago.”     Realization dawned on Chan, making him sink into his chair. They never finished the fucking song. 
     “I gotta say, you were on some shit when you started writing this-”
     Chan snatched the paper out of the rapper’s hand. “It’s none of your business,” he muttered, turning back to his laptop to hide his embarrassment.
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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{12:30} Shoto Todoroki, 862 words, fem!reader (she/her prns), tw/cw: rape, brief mention of dissociation, just ooc!Shoto in general.
Minors, it is in your best interest to not interact.
--- was exhausted. Mentally and physically. All she could do was hang limp and take the swollen member of her classmate. Tears rolled down her face absent-mindedly; it was long past the days of fighting and begging for mercy. How did this session start? The night seemed like a blur to her. 
The common room was a nice study spot for ---. Especially around curfew, when her classmates were occupied with sleep or getting ready for it. She had plenty of room to wander, pace, stretch; whatever she needed to do to keep herself awake. There were big windows to look out of whenever she needed a break. Possibly the best part was a well-worn couch to curl up in. Her back didn’t take kindly to sitting at the kitchen table for too long. 
Her only mistake studying here was that it was a public space. A place where co-ed was accepted. --- always wondered if she studied in her room, would this even happen? 
As usual, a presence surprised her. She was so immersed in her textbook that she didn’t notice him enter until he was covering her mouth and pulling her off the chair. As usual, he had no problems lifting her and taking her over to the couch, sitting down with her on his lap. His low voice whispered apologies that he didn’t mean; I just need help, you can help me again, right? 
---’s blood ran cold as she felt how hard he was. A wet spot was already soaking through his sweats and into her leggings. It didn’t help that he had snuck two cold fingers into her mouth, poking and prodding at her tongue. As to why he liked this act so much escaped her. The first couple of times was to keep her quiet, but he continued as she resigned herself to not make a peep. 
His warm left hand snaked down her body as his lips attached to the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. He took his time, tweaking her nipples and leaving dark hickies. --- felt her body temperature rise against her will, body reacting to the unwanted attention. Her eyes screwed closed as he finally reached where he wanted to go. See? Isn’t this getting easier? You’re much more wet than last time.
Experienced fingers quickly brought --- to her first orgasm. She hated how well he had memorized her body, every single stimulation she reacted to the most. She was putty in his hands, ready to be molded and formed in any way he wished. Outside of these moments, he subtly weaponized this information he harvested. Light touches, seemingly friendly gestures, pseudo-platonic skinship that set ---’s nerves on fire and her heart into deep despair. He kept a tight hold on her at all times. 
A dull pain brought --- back from her dissociation. She was never quite ready physically when his fairly thick cock entered her. A low groan reverberated down her spine. You feel so good princess. Always so tight for me.
--- wondered how they never woke anyone up or attracted attention. The harsh slap of skin on skin sounded like thunder in her ears. He had ended up bending her over the arm of the couch and drilling into her in doggy, holding her upper arms like vice grips so he could pull her back and get in as deep as he could. Surely his grip would leave bruises in the morning. 
A second orgasm racked ---’s body as his strokes became more and more irregular. Somehow she always squirted when he was fucking her like this. He would always praise her for it too, seeing it as an accomplishment, but --- would feel like death every time. The feeling of liquid slowly rolling down her thighs was something she would never want to feel again if she had a choice.
Nearing the end, he yanked --- up flush against his chest, turning her head so he could get a firm kiss in. He never kissed her until he was on the verge of cumming, mostly because he needed to muffle the long moan he would let out. Finally, --- felt him twitch and then uncomfortably warm cum fill her up. Possibly the worst feeling on the planet. 
He pulled away, a string of saliva bridging the distance from their tongues. For a second, --- could see the lust in his eyes before he let her go to fall forward onto the arm again. --- had no energy to move or to say anything as he pulled out and patted her sensitive cunt. What a good girl. Pussy all filled with my cum. Behave and keep it.
--- waited for him to leave before she attempted to get her bearings. She fixed her clothes and collected her textbook and notebooks. She made sure the couch had no stains and she sprayed air freshener before going up to her room for the night. She went to the bathroom and showered, popping a contraceptive pill before going to sleep. 
And the worst part? She would have to see Shoto in the morning and pretend nothing ever happened.
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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Would somebody be interested in proofreading a Bang Chan fic I'm almost finished with? It has fluff, angst, and a bit of smut
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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Hello! This is an unwanted reminder that I exist and that I am expanding into writing for anime as well! I haven't had any qualms about writing for random fandoms on this blog but I figured that I would let you all know what's been in my brain
Animes that will pop up on here in the near future (probably. hopefully. we all know how bad I am at keeping promises.)
Chrome Shelled Regios
The Rising of the Shield Hero
Jujutsu Kaisen
Fire Force
My Hero Academia
Trigun, OG and Stampede
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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{1:00 AM} Sunghoon, 634 words, gn!reader
  Sunghoon wasn’t expecting a visitor tonight. Then again, you never announced when you were coming; you just showed up and he had to deal with it. What he did expect, however, were the downcast eyes and clasped hands that you greeted him with. Those had been there for a long time.
     No words had to be said. He let you in and searched through his closet for something warmer than the thin windbreaker you had on. He wasn’t willing to give up a hoodie but he found some fleece blankets that you snuggled up in just fine. After a steaming cup of tea was in your hands, Sunghoon went back to watching TV.
     He would glance over to check in on you every once in a while. Your nose and cheeks were red, either from walking here in the cold or because you had been crying. It was most likely both. The ring from your ex wasn’t on your hand, thankfully, but the pain you were still enduring was evident. Sunghoon was glad when you finally fell asleep. Now he didn’t have to worry about you as much. 
     Around midnight he carried you to his bedroom and tucked you in. He could sleep on the couch tonight; it wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.
     “Hoon?” you mumbled just as he was about to step out of the room.
     “What is it?” he returned to your side, sitting on the edge of the bed. 
     “Stay.” 
     “Are you sure?” He prodded the inside of his cheek with his tongue. It was certainly tempting, but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. 
     “I didn’t ask.” you said curtly, lifting the comforter to emphasize your point. 
     “Give me a couple of minutes, okay?” He hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet. 
     You wasted no time in snuggling up to Sunghoon when he finally slipped in next to you. He let you do what you wanted, opting to rest his head on his left arm so he didn’t have to awkwardly find a place for it. Soon, you were peacefully asleep with his shirt balled up in your fist, listening to the slightly quickened pace of Sunghoon’s heart. 
     He couldn’t help but stare at your figure. Somehow you had found a safe spot with him, one of your ex’s friends. Ever since the breakup, you would find your way to where Sunghoon was and just hang out. He tolerated it but lately he found himself missing you on days you didn’t swing by. He saw you less and less as you healed; you found a different friend group and started working longer hours. 
     But now he had you all to himself once again. He couldn’t describe it, but your presence was just apart of his life now. Having you in his peripheral wasn’t weird like it was, he liked the new fragrance you had started wearing, he didn’t find your silence awkward anymore. He started out dreading your appearance but now he almost craved it. 
     Sunghoon absent-mindedly traced your facial features with his free hand. The curve of your lips, along the ridge of your cupid’s bow, up the bridge of your nose, across your forehead, circling down to your jawline. When did the teary-eyed person he knew become the one with a mischievous sparkle whenever they told of their shenanigans? When did you become comfortable embracing him when you couldn’t make eye contact before? When did you become so perfect? 
     Sunghoon fell asleep knowing in his heart that even if he didn’t get to keep you, he would cherish these little moments. Even if it didn’t mean anything to you, it meant the world to him. 
     Only if he didn’t miss you moaning his name later that night. Maybe he would have gotten his chance.
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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{1:20 AM} Jay, 851 words, fem!reader, CW: alcohol, going behind friend's back
Step one: get (Y/N) to come to this party. She wasn’t really a crowd person but Sunoo knew how stressed she was with midterms coming up, so he hyped it up until she agreed. Very reluctantly, but she agreed. 
Step two: make sure Heeseung didn’t come. Unlike (Y/N), Heeseung went to every party that was thrown by people he knew. He liked to have fun. But Jay knew that Heeseung was absolutely going to fail a couple of his classes unless he started studying early, so he talked Heeseung into studying this night. The deal was Jay would take Hee clubbing after midterms, which Jay didn’t really mind. 
Step three: talk to (Y/N). Sunoo and Niki knew that they wouldn’t get through to her, but if she heard it from someone else, maybe she would believe it. Jay and Heeseung were pretty well known as friends in the department, and Jay and (Y/N) were acquaintances, so surely she would trust what Jay had to say. Right? 
That’s what Jay certainly hoped as he sipped from his cup as he looked around for (Y/N). He had seen her come in with Sunoo, but they had quickly split and disappeared. Thoughts of what he was going to say roiled in his mind. Hey, heard you kissed my best friend. What’s up with that? God, matchmaking was complicated. 
Finally, Jay saw (Y/N) chilling in the doorway to one of the many hallways in this house. Her expression was hard to read, but from the way she was taking long swigs from the cup in her hand, he figured she was getting loosened up. That probably wasn’t a good thing for the plan, but Sunoo was crafty enough to come up with another one if need be. Jay waded through the crowd and sauntered up to the girl. 
“Well look who it is,” Jay leaned on the doorframe opposite of (Y/N). “having fun yet?”
“Depends who’s asking.”
“A sober person not wanting to grind on the dancefloor with you?”
“Yeah, I’m having fun.” (Y/N) smiled. “Just taking a break from the mob.” 
“I get that.” 
“What’s up with you? You were on a mission coming over here.” 
Jay feigned offense. “Do I need a reason to talk to you? Maybe I was coming to check on you out of the goodness of my heart.”
(Y/N) laughed. “The goodness of your heart has plenty of other people to go to. Poor Jake got bodied by some freshman in a chugging contest a couple minutes ago, maybe you should check on him.” 
“Eh, Jaeyun can take care of himself. He isn’t such a lightweight.” 
“I hope so. Stop skirting, what’s up Jay?”
Jay came closer to (Y/N), enough to speak lowly and still be heard. “A while back, a little bird told me something about you and H-”
“Keep your fucking mouth closed, Park.” (Y/N)’s sudden coldness startled Jay. “I don’t know who told you, but keep it to yourself.”
“Hey, I’m not accusing you of anything. I just want to know if you like Heeseung or not.”
(Y/N) turned to face Jay, her back against the doorframe. “And why would you want to know?”
“Because there’s someone that’s interested… if you’re free, that is.”
Jay’s mouth went dry. Why the fuck did he say that? This was his best friend’s crush he was talking to, for god’s sake. The whole point of this was to get (Y/N) to admit that she liked Heeseung. Then again, he couldn’t deny that he liked what he saw in front of him. The small frame under his arm, trapped between him and the doorframe, staring up at him intently. The low-cut top and the asymmetrical skirt she had worn wasn’t helping either.
(Y/N) scoffed. “Please. Why would that matter anyway? It’s not like I’m openly committed to anyone.”
“Maybe they don’t want you to be half-hearted.” 
(Y/N) closed the distance, enough to feel Jay’s breath on her cheek. “What if I’m all in?”
Drinks were left on the nearest ledges as Jay melded his lips with (Y/N)’s. She ended up pressed against the wall with her legs locked around the boy’s waist, hands tangled in his styled hair, giving as much enthusiasm to the make-out session as he did. It might have been the alcohol or the tension that built during the conversation, but the rush from this was overpowering, addicting even. 
“You’re crazy for this,” (Y/N) gasped as Jay kissed down her neck.
“Why?”
“I know you’re friends with Hee. Isn’t there some bro code against this type of thing?”
“I’m just giving you what you deserve. Heeseung has been too much of a coward for too long.” Jay caught her lips again, not giving her a chance to respond to him revealing his friend’s feelings. He felt his mind getting hazier and hazier by the minute, his heart was racing, he felt like (Y/N)’s palms were burning prints into his chest. 
“Jay, I need to ask you.” (Y/N) mumbled against his lips.
“Anything, princess.”
“Fuck me. Fuck me until I forget him.”
Jay had every desire to oblige.
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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I hope every writer who sees this writes LOADS the next few months. Like freetime opens up, no writers block, the ability to focus, etc etc you're able to write loads & make lots of progress <3
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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Jay loves your thighs. He especially loves how good they feel around his cock. When he gets home after a long day of schedules and practice and he doesn't have enough energy to fuck you properly, he'll be the big spoon and nestle his dick inbetween your thighs and pussy. Your warmth is a huge comfort for him so he thinks about this more often than he'll admit :)
On occasion you'll have a wet dream after he slots himself in and you almost always wake up because you start grinding on him and his tip hits your clit just right on every pass. Jay will wake up to you riding him and looking so beautiful fucking yourself on him. He can't help but hold out until you're thoroughly satisfied, wanting to cum at the same time as you
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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Welcome to Attic Publishing! A few things to note before looking through the shelves today:
Current group obsession: Enhypen
Current anime obsession: Trigun (OG and TriStamp)
The librarian Rhin took a sharp turn into hard stanning recently so from now on be highly cautioned that most content will be NSFW. Minors I can't really control what you do but it's in your best interest to not interact with this kind of content
Happy reading!
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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Imagine CEO!Jay coming home and joining you in the shower after a long day, which is pretty easy since you guys have a massive walk-in, complete with places to sit so you can ride as long as you like and multiple glass surfaces to leave handprints on
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rhainontheshelves · 2 years ago
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All I can think about rn is Jay railing me from behind and using my necklace as a hold. It doesn't matter if I choke or if the chain breaks,,,, I just know he'd go crazy over the marks on my neck
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rhainontheshelves · 3 years ago
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Some of y'all are digging up my very first posts on this blog,,,,,,, how are you finding them and how much do you want to erase it from your likes and your brain
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rhainontheshelves · 4 years ago
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{11:24 AM}
“Wait, (Y/N)!” she turned around at the sound. She saw Hyojin rush past the others, stopping just short of two feet away.
“If you’re trying to convince me not to go, Hyojin, I’ve explained a million times-”
“No, I’m not. I just… need to tell you something, before I possibly lose you forever.”
“What is it? I don’t have a lot of time left before the gate closes.”
“It’ll be short, I promise. I can’t say it out loud, so come closer.”
(Y/N) raised an eyebrow, but she closed the distance. Before she could think, Hyojin had taken her face in his hands and leaned down to kiss her. She didn’t protest nor fight; she felt no apprehension at all. Instead she moved her lips with his, welcoming the warmth spreading through her body. She barely registered the whoops and hollers of the others in the background.
Separating for a breath, (Y/N) studied Hyojin’s eyes. They didn’t hold sadness, but understanding and a flicker of hope. She couldn’t have hoped for a better goodbye.
“We’ll meet again. I just know it.” He whispered, resting his forehead on hers. “Time doesn’t matter.”
“I hope it won’t.” (Y/N) smiled softly. The moment was ruined with a beep from her tech; there was a minute left.
Hyojin took a step back. “Bye, (Y/N).”
“I’ll see you around, Hyojin.” Waving to the rest of the group, (Y/N) took a step back into the gate. Reality faded into a liminal space, lonely and chilling. Following the road most trodden, (Y/N) easily found her way back to her world.
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rhainontheshelves · 4 years ago
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{12:12 AM}
“Don’t forget!” MK called out. “I’ll know, don’t worry.”
“No guarantees!” She called back before turning the corner and heading back to her apartment. His statement swirled in her head. If he hasn’t changed...
****
“What are you planning?” (Y/N) looked at her red-haired friend. She tried not to show her worry. So much pain had come up with the recent encounters and the state of this place, Hyojin would snap under the stress if he wasn’t careful.
“Nothing to worry about. I know that’s what’s on your mind, (Y/N). You’re too easy to read.”
“Am I not allowed to worry about you? How am I supposed to trust your “Oh look at me I’m the strong leader in this group” front when I know just how much all of this has affected you?”
Hyojin’s eyes turned cold. “You don’t understand anything-”
“I lost a friend too! I’ve traveled around just as much as any of you, looking for someone who ended up not wanting to be found! Don’t tell me I don’t understand!”
The hallway fell quiet. It took (Y/N)’s brain a minute to realize that she had actually raised her voice; it was the first time she had shown this much negative emotion around any of the guys, especially Hyojin. The scariest part of it all was that he didn’t seem to care about her distress at all. His eyes were as cold as ever, and his body language had stiffened immensely.
“I’m the one being held responsible, (Y/N). You can cry all you want but it’s my decision to make.”
“I know that, just… don’t leave us behind.”
She knew he wasn’t listening anymore. She stood there in the hall long after he left, watching the tears fall onto the floor. At some point she collapsed, her legs tired of supporting her numb body. She could only watch as he pushed the red button and dissolved into another unknown timespace where they couldn’t follow. Where she couldn’t follow.
Don’t leave me behind…
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rhainontheshelves · 4 years ago
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Maybe watch for some ONF soon? 👀👀👀
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rhainontheshelves · 4 years ago
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Just an update on this blog,,, I’m still alive but college has drained all creativity from me. I really want to write again but all I have is bits and pieces that make no sense. I don’t want to but I might declare this officially unactive and leave it up as an archive
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