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lay down your head and close your eyes
and when you wake up the sun will rise
#Carmen#Angela#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#project moon#project moon games#Carmen lobcorp#Angela lobcorp#pm Angela#pm Carmen#lor#library of ruina#ruina#PJM#art tag 2024#distortion lullaby or smth idk
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The floor of history: an analysis
This is going to be the final revision of this floor's analysis for at least a few months, im going to prioritise finishing other floors before coming back to it.
Major Spoilers for Library of Ruina and Lobotomy Corporation's story
The Abnormalities//EGO:
Scorched girl ("fourth Match Flame" (Currently "4th Match Flame"))
Happy Teddy Bear (The Forgotten (Formerly "Bear Paws" (Lob Corp))
Fairy Festival (Wingbeat)
Queen Bee (Hornet)
Snow Whites Apple (Green Stem)
happy teddy bear; scorched girl; fairy festival; and snow white's apple, all represent some form of loss or (in the latter two’s case) being betrayed.
The scorched girl was a child who lived a poor life selling matches, in the fires of the lit matches she saw hope for a better world bathed in the warmth that the flames provided, in her longing and pursuance for this better world, she burned to death; The Abnormality of the scorched girl is the soul of this child, betrayed and burned by the flames which promised her a better life.
Happy teddy bear is an abnormality that we have less knowledge of its past, only that it was abandoned and left to decay at some point by its previous owner; longing for attention the abnormality, upon finding someone who cherishes it like its old owner, will ensure that they are never going to leave
For the case of the Fairy Festival, it's the only one of the bunch to be the betrayer rather than not; the fairies of the festival will heal and take care of you, with ideas of them being able to sense goodness in people, and protecting those who are faithful and trustworthy (haha), but then: the hunger. The fairies are carnivorous creatures who simply attempt to keep their prey fresh through their “care”, being able to kill them in an instant despite their perceived nature.
I am not writing about Queen Bee
Snow white's apple, as the name suggests, is the witches poisoned apple from the fairy tale of snow white; the apple, after a single bite, was thrown to the side and left to rot, vermin and worms came over time, attempting to eat the apple, all of them died of the poison. After serving her use to both the witch and snow white, she was thrown to the side to rot, after which she started to look for her own path in life...
Angela and the Floor Realisation:
"Is it a sin that I was born this way?"
The thematic of isolation, which is present in the bear, apple, and child, is quite obvious to the realisation, Angela suffered untold period of pain, isolated from everyone surroundings her, suppressing her desires, her honest urges to stop the suffering of the employees, as doing so would only prolong the play;
Angela was punished for her existence; A machine created to be a human, created only to suffer endlessly where a human would not; Angela was punished for the sin of her birth, condemned to this hell, to orchestrate this play.
As the finale of the play comes, the Girl who had nothing, who was denied happiness since creation, who was not allowed the warmth of the stage, not allowed to stand alongside the others, saw a future in the light, the whispers of a future she could make, if she only claims the light, Carmen’s promises of her truest desires, mirroring the world seen in the flames of the Match Girl.
As both of these children have nothing in life, the Match Girl and Angela both desperately seek these promises shown in the blaze, chasing the light, their hope of the future, as it is all they have left.
In seeking the future she saw, the Match Girl’s last match burned out, and she, no longer having the warmth to guide her, was consumed by the night.
"If this matchlight goes out, nothing will be left for me."
Angela’s story diverges in the end, being pulled from the light by her one and only friend, not letting her be consumed, forgotten as she was always meant to be.
In relation to the scorched girl, who seeks to burn all that there is in order to gain this sought world in the flames, Angela seeks fulfilment in burning down all that Ayin planned for her, the petty revenge to see the hopes of others burned the same way that hers was.
"Maybe I could be free after I’ve burned down all things and then myself."
In the course of Lobotomy Corporation’s story, Angela grew to despise A, her creator, after being abandoned, both left to follow the script, and in the finale, where she is expected to simply lay down and cease after serving her purpose; in this idea of being abandoned Angela Resonates with the Happy Teddy bear. Being modelled after Carmen, in Ayins futile attempt to replace what he had lost, Angela was created, a human machine, despised by her created for existing in the manner he dictated for her; Angela was not abandoned at the end, Ayin had abandoned her the moment of her birth, as soon as she first spoke.
“I remember you… You were a person with a warm smile…"
In this denial of an ending, a place to stand amongst the others as the show concluded, Angela, despite her value, her necessity in the play, was simply used as a blessing for others only to be cast aside, expected to rot.
In this desire of being denied an ending, of being disposable to those who needed her, Angela creates her own ending; In being forgotten, abandoned, left to rot, Angela’s desire for a life of her own is manifest through the library as a whole, and causes her to resonate with the Snow White's Apple:
"My existence was born from a yearning and began as a curse, yet I served as a blessing to others."
Akin to the apple, Angela was made to serve a purpose and be discarded; Both left waiting in their isolation, waiting for someone to come to them, waiting until the last moment for Ayin to look at her; As the apple grew limbs, in search of her own story, her own prince, Angela walks in search of what she had been denied, a life, a story, a happy ending rather than being neglected until the end.
Through the true ending of Lobotomy corporation, Angela makes the ultimate betrayal in defiance and spite of Ayin's plan; After eons of living simply to serve others, to complete this act of the play, she was still unable to stand on the stage with the others at the finale:
The connection of the fairy festival is one of her deceptions, the presumption of her goodwill and servitude to the plan used to hide her true intentions. As Angela says herself:
"I did everything to care for you, so it’d be only fair that I get something in return."
Just like the famished fairy, being starved, deprived and denied of her innate desires for so long, Angela takes action herself, looking to consume hopes of others, the culmination of this time spent starving, all for herself.
Now, as she attempts to satiate her hunger, the desires that have been aged for millennia, denied for her sin of existing, Angela pilots the Librarians in the same manner that Ayin set the script; The Library’s guests, the librarians, the Sephirot, suffering to make Angela’s will manifest, sending countless to their deaths, to be killed and forgotten, all for her pursuit of humanity.
"No one remembers those who gave their effort to raise the kingdom. It’s a truth that repeats on and on."
In taking on the role of the Queen, Angela takes the role of her father, forgetting those who suffered, who worked towards the ending, seeing others as disposable, only tools to achieve a purpose.
"There can’t be any meaning to a history that repeats itself. Attain the will to stand up straight by looking back? You know nothing about my past."
[Insert Natural Segue]
The Willingness to Stand up Straight:
Elijah, Malkuth:
Lobotomy Corporation, in regaining the memories of her trauma, Malkuth sees her death, in impatience she tested the substance Cogito on herself, after being denied as a test subject several times. (oh god that is one fucking sentence isn't it) In this recklessness, through her desire to help the Cogito project, her determination to make a difference in the project, Elijah, now Malkuth, died, decaying from the experiment. Writhing on the floor in pain, begging Ayin to turn around and help her, there is no option but to ignore her. Ayin did not remember everyone name, nor respond to or make "meaningless gestures" of praise, which only fueled Elijah's fervor to make a difference in the project, to have the fruits of her effort be tangible.
Overcoming this despair, in competing the Meltdown, Malkuth sees a glimmer of hope for improvement, she cannot continue to look back with hopes of changing her choices, to despair at her own actions. Instead, she sees the possibility of improvement, and gains the willingness to stand up straight, to hold her head high rather than being weighed down through her past.
Like Angela, Elijah was cast aside by Ayin, finding only despair when seeking rewards for her deeds:
Though already having faced her past, overcame her trauma, the Abnormalities on this floor represent Malkuth's, Elijah's, history:
Through Ayin's lack of validation, a desire begins to take place, hollow, demanding to be filled. Only driven further by her impatience, Elijah is driven to take action for this hunger, to finally satiate herself in return for her actions, in the same manner as Fairy festival.
The famished faeries (fairy's? fairies?), being unable to feed their desires for so long, begin to consume other faeries, destroying itself in the process.
"I knew I didn’t have any right to participate in the experiment, that’s why I was so impatient." "Will you finally praise me? I just want to feel proud."
In seeking her desires, wanting validation from Ayin for her efforts, Malkuth loses her hopes, being burned by the supposed source of her rewards, losing hope for the future.
in seeking this validation, like the Scorched Girl seeking the world seen in the flames, Elijah's story ends in a death, alone and forgotten by others.
"Make sure you feel this horrible sense of helplessness to your core, right to your heart."
After working so hard, sacrificing herself to be useful, to finally be praised by Ayin, he refuses to turn around to see her. Not even acknowledging her, even as she reaches out to him.
Just like all the others who have been burned by Ayin in the past, Elijah represents the workers of the queen bee, seen as disposable by the queen (Ayin Queen Bee art is next on my to do list), sacrificing everything for the greater workings yet never being remembered, not being rewarded, only discarded when they have outlived their usefulness.
"No one remembers those who gave their effort to raise the kingdom. It’s a truth that repeats on and on."
After everything that she had done, she was abandoned by Ayin, forgotten, left to the wayside to rot, to be forgotten, like the Apple and the Bear which appear before us.
"Be honest, back then it wasn’t that hard to turn around and look back at me."
Where the story of these two abnormalities diverge follows the point where they were abandoned. While the bear seeks the fulfillment of a new, loving owner, the Apple seeks its own path in life, growing to find its own path, its own fulfillment. While Elijah, now Malkuth, was abandoned by Ayin, in the past, rather than seeking the same fulfillment that she sought from Ayin, she looks to the future, with hope of improvement, the Will to stand up Straight.
Angela:
Like Malkuth looks back at Elijah to gain hope, to know that her past does not define her, Angela must realize the same, as we can see from her quotes in the realization:
"Attain the will to stand up straight by looking back? You know nothing about my past."
In the same way that Ayin refused to look back on Elijah, refused to create a place on the stage for Angela, the sufferings of both were ignored.
Angela refuses to look back at her past, to realise what she has become. Angela cannot gain hope for the future without accepting her past, she cannot gain the Will to Stand up Straight as long as she is defined by her suffering, by her past.
"Looking back on myself… It wasn’t even so difficult to do."
Angela says, mirroring Malkuth's own words towards Ayin.
Angela, following the realisation, like Malkuth, looks towards the future, to seek her own path, undefined by her trauma, free from the script that bound her.
. Thank you for reading this Essay, the Ayin Queen Bee thing is not a joke, there is an actual list and it was next down.
If you liked this essay consider following and/or suggesting something for me to write about.
and for a final note, a quote from Angela's realisation:
"I can’t fly with ragged and tattered wings."
... Yi Sang Hornet EGO when?
#project moon#library of ruina#lobotomy corporation#lor#cogitopedia#lob Corp#Angela#angela lobcorp#pm angela#angela lor#malkuth#Malkuth Lor#malkuth lobcorp#Elijah Lob corp#media analysis#character analysis#Project#Floor of history#essays i wrote primarily while half asleep#im surprised i found any natural segue for talking about queen bee in the final sections#no im not talking about Queen Bee in general#Asiyah floors#literally's literal illiteracy#literally's literal analysis#Floor analysis#Angela Series
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Day 1 of my own Inktober
I didnt like the original themes this year and i just didnt want to draw ultratober, so i came up with the idea to creat my own.
I just made a list of characters from PM games, it actually only exist on my phone.
So, if anyone is interested then i can post my own inktober(pmtober?) Ye, i know that im a little late, sorry
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Empty picnic basket
#library of ruina#lobotomy corporation#project moon#lobcorp#lor#angela lobcorp#angela lobotomy corporation#angela lor#angela library of ruina#angela project moon#angela pm#traditional art#art i do
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Made a Dub of @swingstep's comic about...mushrooms?! That can't be right...
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happy birthday to our one and only director
#slightly rushed but we ball we ball#the flowers she is holding are daffodils. apparently they symbolize forgiveness#library of ruina#lor#angela lc#angela lor#pm#jan ilo#mi sitelen
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#MYWIFE IS HOME MY WIFE/ref#cant wait to cop ruina for ps when it drops in europe. omg. my laptop cant handle the game this might me by only chance of playing it#like i got halfway thru the game and my laptop. isnt happy about me opening it anymore#< 3 3 3 3#very happy ab this..#i missed drawing her. ididnt even look up a reference. this came from the heart#angela library of ruina#library of ruina#project moon#art i made#:3#still feeling a bit weird about being hyped to financially support pm after everything this summer but special interest is strong . :(#i want to be able to not think about special interests that have big issues like made in abyss but i just cant. i just try not to draw them#and i dont rlly promote made in abyss to friends at all. i cant help the special interest but i can stop the creator from getting attention#rant over bye
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i am a mariah as ethan green truther,
#starkid#black friday#-ish?#team starkid#hatchetfield#foe art#i know..... mariah's usual look is very polished#but ethan is. a scruffy looking sort#so for next time: more grease stains & more scruff for him#btw angela giarratana has Such a fun face to draw-#it's very Shaped...........................#this is what this is pm i wanted to figure out face shapes
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I made meme to cope but tbh i’m at the end of my fucking line
#project moon#limbus company#library of ruina#lobotomy corp#its so over#pm fans how are we doing#kim jihoon#fuck you kim jihoon#im done#thats it#cant stop me loving binah tho#but fuck#pm drama#at this point im just going to expect the worse#still love binah and angela anyway
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This is the consequences of consuming unhealthy amount of project moon lore and playing library of ruina
#angela#pm#project moon#library of ruina#lor angela#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#project moon fanart
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The floor of literature:
The themes of Hod’s floor is a lot more vague than the previous two, with the two main themes that i have seen proposed being loneliness & isolation; and obsession & desires
Today's Shy Look (CW: Self Harm).
Loneliness and Community/isolation:
The reason for Shy Looks creation was due to the pressure and ostracization of the community around them, they were different, not wanting to express themselves due to being shy; through the community's rejection came loneliness, which caused them to flay themselves in order to please the larger community.
Spider Bud is essentially the embodiment of motherhood, which is why Ryoshu got the Red Eyes EGO in Limbus; with the Idea that it would kill any who harm its children, the central theme is family and connection to the children (it fits under community, its my document so what i say goes <3), additionally you could link the theme of isolation with the concept that the mother refuses to be separated from its children, and would kill any who remove the children from the mother.
While her origin is not particularly elaborated on, we know that at some point Laetitia came from a community where she had many friends of her own, friends that she couldn't bear to leave behind; In the backstory alone we can see how the idea of isolation plays a role in Laetitia’s story, with her refusal to be separated from her friends.
Additionally, in the final entry of her story, Laetitia resolves to not leave the facility until everyone there would smile and be happy, in a sense wanting to make the facility a happy community like her past one.
Dream of a Black Swan, (henceforth Black Swan) previously known as Elijah, was the sister to 6 brothers in the city, after their parents passing she worked to provide for all her siblings who weren't able; A fog appeared in the city, where they lived (unclear if related at all to the previous L corp smoke), Elijah, wanting to protect her brothers, created clothing out of nettles for them, before losing sight of them in the fog, and becoming the Black Swan;
Elijah’s motivation through her story is solely on protecting and caring for her brothers, the brothers who are her last group of family after her parents passing, she continues to care for these brothers whenever danger comes.
Obsession and desires:
The Shy Look is able to embody this theme in passing through the obsessive nature which led them to their actions, caring for the approval of the community over their own pain and feeling.
The Community’s obsessive desires for cohesion and conformity, for there not to be anyone who diverges from this template
The Red Shoes are in essence the concept of desire manifested, with their EGO literally being named “Sanguine Desire”. This Abnormality is based on a fairy tale of the same name in which a pair of shoes owned by a young girl named Karen cursed to never come off when dancing; the story continues with an angel cursing Karen to dance for all eternity, as a punishment for her vanity and pride.
In the story itself, the shoes symbolise Karen’s sins, her indulgence in worldly desires; wearing the red shoes to church rather than the proper black shoes, and choosing to go and dance rather than attend her mother’s funeral;
She asks to cut off her feet, having them amputated by an executioner, while the feet inside still dance forever. As she attempts to pray for help, the red shoes, still dancing, bar her way into the church, her sins acting as a literal barrier to her salvation, her hubris and vanity.
The Aberration which appeared in wonderlab named “The Penitent Girl” takes inspiration from the desires of the girl, her attempted salvation by way of amputation, rather than the indulgent desires which the original red shoes are meant to represent.
Altogether, even in the aberration, which takes the form of penitence for the girl’s sins, this abnormality is the embodiment of desires, and to indulge in one's pleasures.
Elijah’s obsession is rather clear to see, wanting to be able to protect her last family causing her to become the Black Swan; Even before becoming the swan we can see this desire to protect them, with her working alone to provide for all of them, her making of clothes, and her seeking for them in the time immediately before transforming.
Floor realisation links:
While one could make the obvious link to the isolation that angela felt in the days of Lobotomy Corp i don't think that, thematically speaking, the connection works with any of this floors abnormalities, rather i think the moral for angela is tied more closely to the idea of obsession, with her obvious obsession being becoming truly human.
In terms of her desire, we can see an immediate parallel in Shy Look, both ostracised by those around them with the will of another person being placed upon them, the script of A, and the society's ideals;
Shy Look’s story, even if not explicitly stated, is one of someone being forced to become “more human” in a sense, with the correlation to neurodivergence and conformity being stated above. Angela’s path to humanity diverges from Shy Look’s however, with her path to humanity being one taken in spite of the will placed upon her, and with her ultimate goal being to truly become human, rather than removing parts to simply appear human like Sky Look.
Less specifically to humanity in desire, Red Shoes and Black Swan both are able to represent the drive that angela has:
The obsessive nature of the Red Shoes, and the repressed desires that they make you act out, is well worn on angela in her single mindedness as a ‘person’, her complete focus on both becoming human, and going against her creator, her prioritising of her own desires in life, after being denied a life for so long.
Angela’s absolute focus on her own goals after so long of lacking autonomy even matches the moral of the achievement, and what A learned in the ending of Lobotomy Corporation, “the will to stand up straight” — Angela, in the ending of Lobotomy Corporation, found this will to act upon, to not deny herself a chance at living even if it's what others wanted for her, she found her will to stand up and seize the opportunity before her.
The Black Swan represents Angela’s current state, more than that of her past, still representing Angela’s single desire to live, but rather than being her will to take the opportunity, the Black Swan represents her will to protect her chance at life — Akin to how elijah will come to protect her brothers if anybody would be to harm them, angela refuses to let others oppose her goals; her absolute determination even mirrors the spider bud’s protection of its children with how she’s willing to kill those who stand in her way at all, as well as in how she has no regard for anyone who is in the way of her goal.
The Hope to be a Better Person:
I know my wrongdoings can’t be forgiven, no matter what I do. I guess that’s why I was so ahead of myself. But from now on, I won’t be. I can, no, I will become a better person if I continue. Let’s live with such a hope in mind, shall we? - Hod.
Michelle:
In Lobotomy Corporation, we see the past of Hod, once called Michelle, being the youngest researcher of their group, she was timid and innocent. Michelle was well liked by Carmen, and called brave, despite Ayin’s doubts of her ability.
Following the Deaths of Elijah (Malkuth), Gabriel (Yesod), Giovanni (Netzach), and Enoch (Enoch), Michelle informed the head about Carmen’s groups’ experiments, leading to an arbiter, Garion, being dispatched.
Michelle through this caused the deaths of:
Kali
Daniel
Lisa (Presumably unless im forgetting something)
Garion
Michelle
which means that of all sephirot she has between the third and second highest body count, depending on if clerks are counted (they arent), beat by Gebura and Binah (there was something about shipping them (all three) here, i removed it in post).
As mentioned above, Michelle died due to this as well, not caught in the raid itself, but rather out of guilt from the actions leading to the deaths of so many other people, people who were just trying to improve humanity.
Preceding Hod’s meltdown in Lobotomy Corporation, Hod was shown to care for the employees, not treating them well for her own ego, but rather out of genuine compassion.
Hod’s kindness , though likely not consciously, was driven by a sense of atonement, attempting to right the wrongs of her past, to become what she viewed as a good person.
Ending the meltdown, Hod acknowledges her past wrongdoings, knowing that these actions cant be undone nor forgiven, yet Hod still maintains her demeanour, despite her knowing she cannot atone for her past actions, she still treats the employees with the same care, moving forward without looking to her past.
Though the sins of her past will never be undone, as long as she continues living she can become a good person, a better person.
We may relate the thematic of this floor towards Hod too, most directly in their desire for community, but in some more ajar interpretations:
The most direct link one could make, abstracted from the theme of communion, is the themes of self abuse posed by Today’s Shy Look.
(Side note, Today’s Shy Look has become one of my favourite abnormalities thematically because of the thematic being deeply relatable on multiple levels, alongside the Trans Icon Funeral of Dead Butterflies)
Please don’t look at what’s behind this. It’s the least you can do…
We begin by drawing the parallels between these two’s stories, not only their incessant desire to please others around them, prioritising it over their own pain, but in the imagery of the mask they wear to hide their harm:
The mutilation of oneself acting as a shared trauma between these two, they attempt to hide this face to the outside world, instead presenting the cheery face which others came to expect.
The image of the persona is one which appears often in this game, most prominently in relation to Roland, as his most notable trait as a fixer is his perception blocking mask, the same mask he used to appear as a cold and careless fixer for almost his entire career;
Relating back to this topic, Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung describes the danger of this as when someone becomes indistinguishable from their persona, from what society expects of them: the tenor with his voice, the librarian with their books, the Fixer and his mask, the Sephirot and her kindness; The Persona’s ideal, the masking of traits it views and undesirable, all aspects of the self which do not match the traits society expects are smothered and hidden behind this mask. As time passes, the mask may become the face, inseparable from the person, no line where their mask ends and they begin, the loss of their selfhood. To combat this, one must have a strong ego, an aware and conscious mind, in order to avoid this conformist personality consisting of only others expectations — an unreflecting state of mind "in which people are utterly unconscious of any distinction between themselves and the world in which they live.”
One may connect this idea to the concept often known as “Masking” or “Camouflaging” in those with developmental disorders, notably ASD, where one attempts to hide their symptoms and differences from others, either to avoid others eyre, or to appear more “Normal” (Erroneously).
Conversely exists the concept of “Unmasking”, where one consciously avoids these behaviours, no longer conforming to societal pressure in favour of being able to live expressing themselves freely.
Hod, whether consciously or not, wore a mask of the same vein during the events of Lobotomy Corporation, more akin to the mask relating to Neurodivergence, but ever related to the concept of the persona; A person may be aware of their persona, however they needn't be to still have one — Hod i believe is a case of the latter, acting to please others for her own attempts at redemption.
Today’s shy Look is a case of the former, and takes the concept a slight bit more literally, wearing a mask of their own skin, harming themselves in order to please others, in order to fit into what society expects of them — The quote listed above is an example of the kind of suffocation this mask of others may bring upon you, the true face of the child is the only place left within the city that acts as a private sanctuary, never to be seen by others, their only place of freedom.
The identification of a persona, whether it be healthy or not, leads to the possibility of its dissolution, or the dissolving of the persona; be it through conscious processes or a stark encounter with reality, a persona may be released to unveil the face that lays behind it — Following the dissolution of the persona may come the restoration, be it a healthy restoration, like learning to draw the line between the role you play, your self and personality, and your societal mask, or a negative restoration, in which one tries to patch their social reputation reverting to the status quo, or worse, creating a more suffocating persona than before, attempting to reveal even less of their true face.
There is a third option which i will discuss at a later point (not in this essay to clarify, but in one relating to Don Quixote and/or Hong Lu, ill flip a coin to see whom).
The form of the negative restoration is one where I cannot credulously link to either character we have mentioned so far, barring Roland, however he will be discussed in depth relating to this and a future essay — This is not to say that there are no links between the negative restoration and the characters mentioned, namely Today’s Shy Look, as one could read the mutilation in order to form the masks it wears as being representative of the consuming nature that the reversion may take, with every aspect of the child’s outer form being condensed into the mask, paralleling the concept risen earlier, a persona which consumes every aspect of a personality.
Rather, the stories ere are that of Enantiodromia — The manifestation of a strong ego to counteract the presence of the persona. The stage for which was set when one realises their own mask, knows what they conceal.
Oddly enough there are spoilers for the true ending of library of ruina contained within here, if i remember to, then the spoilers will be posted separately, if you are actively reading this, it means i likely forgot to do so and you should shout at me in my inbox.
Angela — Enantiodromia:
In the true ending of Library of Ruina, Angela herself undergoes this process of Enantiodromia, not only revealing her supposed “Soul”, but her personhood, her ego, in the manifest form of her literal EGO, the library.
Angela’s EGO, the Library, is the extreme ego raised by the mind to counteract the aeons of being a puppet, being controlled by those around her in the most literal sense — The concept of equilibrium, over time, an equally powerful, opposite force to this persona she was forced to bear developed, yet stored within the abyss of her mind, any action against her persona would only extend her torment.
I believe that the influence of the Library was not only due to the direct connection to the light, but that her suffering outweighed those both before and following her; Millenia of isolation, of being forced to play as an actor in the script, acted to develop her resentment, her shadow, completing her “Self”, developing a “Soul”.
While Angela seeks the perfect book, to become ‘human’, from the very start of the game she possesses the essence of humanity, she possesses a sense of “Self”.
As it is put in the song “Gone Angels”
One by one, your desires convince me you’ve always been human.
As Angela seeks to become a human, as the library expands, the light flourishes, Angela undergoes several realisations, each a process of realising her “Self”, each a process of individuation, the removal of her complete rationality as the inner centre; The removal of her ego being the centre of her personality, and the eventual removal of her one true desire, her EGO, the purpose of the library, from her viewed “Purpose”.
Adding to this in a note from post, from what we are aware of, the only people to hear Carmen’s voice making promises towards them are those imminent to distorting or manifesting EGO, however, in both the beginning and the ending of the game, Angela is able to converse with her, and is even promised her coveted freedom through the library.
Despite this, I do not think that Angela was ever close to distorting in the way of others, nor was her EGO unstable in the way of Philip, the sinners (heathcliff) or Xiao between her reception waves.
If I were to speculate further on this topic, even with my (very vast) knowledge on Project Moon lore and (limited) Jungian Psychology, it would be largely conjecture concerning how we don't know the specific mechanics regarding EGO manifestation and Distortion.
Angela — The Hope to Be a Better Person:
In the games process of individuation, through the realisations of each floor, Angela must learn similar lessons to the sephirot, to Ayin, in order to complete her library.
The realisation of this floor differs from that of what Hod learned — While Hod found the drive to move forward in life, to continue living with hope of improvement.
Rather Angela learns to not be defined by her past, She has already sought her past to find a will to stand up straight, yet she is still chained to it — Angela defines herself by her past, by her desire for revenge fueled by millennia of suffering, yet she cannot think beyond this singular drive, beyond this singular, obsessive desire, Angela cannot define herself.
In a manner of thought, Angela remains trapped by Ayin, remaining in the facility, having a “Purpose” in life, defined by, and in defiance of, Ayin.
Angela is bound by the limits of the library, of her current EGO, the same limits as the facility ere-standing. In a literal sense, the story is about Angela escaping the bounds of her past, to be free and able to walk beyond the boundaries that were set for her.
(there was a part where it was basically be talking about carmen on a very tangentially related note, its not here anymore).
#project moon#projmoon#essays i wrote primarily while half asleep#library of ruina#lobotomy corporation#lor#Hod#hod library of ruina#hod lobcorp#angela#angela lor#angela lobcorp#pm angela#lobocorp#Floor analysis#Angela series
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testing how to draw her
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I actually finished something.
Im too tired to say more about this piece, but i really love how it turns out
I actually wanted to make another version, like from the bad ending, but nah
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carlome 😇
#my art#🚬#🪞#not gonna lie the character that’s the most similar to salome in pm universe is carmen..#(dead before everything started/haunted the narrative for three games#also slightly suicidal#the carmen to 🪞’s angela#let’s distort 🌠together🌠#when 🪞turns into an unrecognizable beast the ghost of 🚬 WOULD drag her around by the collar
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