#plus this is also kinda old so its not entirely reflective of how i make music nowadays

[saintsdice]

a while ago i cobbled this together kinda just for fun and uh yea

[awriternamedart]

a collection of my middle aged man yaoi sampard headcanons -

Sampo has poliosis, a condition that can cause premature greying in areas on the scalp.

Gepard has lots of facial and body hair but it grows slowly because of their cold enviroment. His beard is a stopwatch for how long hes been on the frontlines that time around as he only gets to shave when hes at his home/stationed in the city.

Sampo has a few beauty marks n moles ! mostly on his back and shoulders.

Gepard has freckles! All the Landaus do!

Once Gepard scared the ever living shit out of Sampo because the Landaus have reflective eyes. So Sampo just saw two blue dots in his bedroom once and nearly fell out the window he climbed in through.

Gepard has piercings! Two simple lobe piercings, he only wears them when hes on break. (so like, never.) Serval pierced them for him when they were teenagers so its a little botched but he does his best to take care of them because their a fond memory of his sister. (He also owns a pair of studs for each of his sisters - a snowflake set for Lynx, and a music note set for Serval. Otherwise, simple black studs.)

Sampo has sideburns!! He tends to keep them trimmed well , since his appearence is a huge part of the show. Hes incredibly meticulous down to the last detail in order to sell it, and can spend up to two hours every morning making sure hes ready for the stage .

Gepard is an amputee. I need to update my arm lore doc but basic gist - his gauntlet is a prosthetic used to trap Fragmentum in his arm nub and uses that Fragmentum as a powersource for the Geomarrow to bounce off of and create the ice and mist he uses in battle. He still deals with phantom pain but most of the time it is soothed with his prosthetic - though it can still flare up horribly when overused.

Sampos really weak to being kissed on the nape of his neck, right where his hair is. Hes not quite sure why.

Gepards easy to blush but inCREDIBLY hard to fluster. Hes so used to keeping himself in check and in control that to catch him in any form of stupor is rare.

Related - Gepard struggles immensely when hes out of control of a situation and someone he is unfamiliar with or doesnt trust holds power over it. Hes so used to being in charge and being looked to and only having those he trusts as peers or over him in the power system that being thrown into that situation crawls under his skin in a /neg way. Physical vulnerabilty is also not easy and very stressful.

Quite the opposite for Sampo - emotional vulnerabilty ties this guy in KNOTS. Hes pretty open to touch (once your on his trust list and ONLY if your on the trust list) but youll have to drag him kicking and screaming if you want a glimpse at his actual thoughts.

also Sampo has a wheezy hyena laugh.

Gepard only has only one or two potted plants he tried to use as motivation to go home more often- it was a suggestion from Pela. But uh, yeah it didnt work. Hes a great cook though!

On the other hand- do not let Sampo within 5 meters of a kitchen. For your sake and his. (hes not that bad and can make enough to get by- but it really .. does not taste great ...)

Sampos not entirely sure how old he is, but Natasha figured he was somewhere in his late twenties early thirties when he arrived on Jarilo and hes kinda been rolling with that ever since.

Gepard overheats really easily when he gets off planet eventually. Like it is bad how easily he gets heatstroke.

Sampo uses his blades to pick at his teeth sometimes. Both Natasha and Gepard hate this .

Gepard has a nasty resting bitch face. Hes learned to be able to nullify it a little bit but when hes tired it drops back to usual and makes it look likes constantly about to murder someone.

On the plus side, this control over his expression means he plays a nasty game of poker! (or whatever the Jarilo 6 counterpart of poker is)

Sampo has on more then one occassion forgot that he has the ability to neutralize most of Belobogs cold and has wandered outside without his jacket. Many people looked at him like he was insane.

Gepard always cuts the sleeve right above his gauntlet implant and sews a new hem to keep it from getting caught in machinery.

Hook called Sampo Gramps once. He never recovered.

Gepards hair is slowly turning brown instead of greying! Sampo is infact, salty about this.

Gepard has three majorly noticable scars. He has frostburn on his flesh hand that wind up his arm, he has Fragmentum cracks that wind up his opposite shoulder (amputated arm)(inactive so it looks like scar tissue or a lightning scar rather then black or gold) , and an impact scar/explosion scar across his lower back. Other minor scars are shrapnel cuts and his knuckles being scarred from being a fistfighter. Also his nose is slightly crooked.

Sampo has done a damn good job at making sure he looks the part of the shifty businessman but he has a few marks of his own. Being an Emanator means he heals quickly- and can mask any scars and injuries he gets with relative ease - but he prefers to not rely on this aspect. His biggest scar is an ugly blade cut into his right shoulderblade, and its only so prominant because it struggled to heal properly.

Sampo is shorter the Natasha! Natasha is just tall !! She is shorter then Gepard who is the tallest among the Belobog cast but shes second.

In order of tallest to shortest of Belobog adults its - Gepard, Natasha, Sampo, Serval, Luka, Bronya, Seele. Sorry Seele.

The Landau eye color and color crest is so recognizable in Belobog that that shade of blue is called Landau Blue.

When Sampo has a difficult time sleeping, he wordlessly buries his face into Gepards neck, who simply begins to hum if hes also awake.

Gepard is a light sleeper- he wakes up very easily. Sampo is not. Gepard has had to fight an extremely sleepy Sampo to get up in the morning more times then he can count.

Gepard actually does have a good singing voice, its just that he has poor discipline and tries to match Servals octave. Which is. Way to high. He also has good rhythm!

This does not mean he is a good dancer.

He can get through on dancing, it being part of his upbringing and studies growing up, but he can only do what steps he knows. Any improv and he falters.

Sampo has in fact trust falled on Gepard multiple times. Once at Bronya and Seeles wedding. He basically forced Gepard to dip him.

Gepard is actually incredibly sassy. Its just that hes awful at inflection and everything comes across as matter-of-fact or dry as fuck. That, and he only dares to sass Serval most of the time- theres not many other people hes comfortable enough with to let loose that much.

When it comes to fishing out back alley deals, few are more knowledgable than Sampo. Even before the Trailblazers, Sampo and Gepard had an under the table deal where if Gepard was unable to crack a case alone, he could get information off Sampo in exchange for supplies and shield. He was not happy about this deal but he deemed it a necessity- for the sake of Belobogs safety.

Sampo would and still does anonymously tip the Guards off on major crimes that could severely impact Belobogs already fragile economy. Hes no saint , but he has his personal morals and he sticks to them.

Gepard had many sharp teef , lil fangies even ! but theyve been worn down over time.

Sampo also has lil sharp teef ! his are more snake fang like tho, thinner.

[tonydaddingham]

See I don't remember it being hinted at all that Greasy Johnson was Christ? He was the third baby and his gang rivals Adam's; like it IS a reflection of the war between Heaven and Hell but its a parallel bc both conflicts are ultimately stupid and childish. Plus Gabriel is associated with BABY Jesus. And the box is baby sized. Since this takes place 4 years after S1, Adam, Warlock, and the third baby would be 15 by now.

hi nonnie!!!✨ fuck it let's have some meta/analysis in these last hours that our collective souls inhabit this Good Earth

what i interpreted the other anon to be getting at is exactly as you've put, but possibly one step further. greasy is posed as the antithesis of adam/antichrist, has a gang surrounding him that you could infer are loyal disciples, and is a mirror to adam in that adam on the whole seems to be a well-adjusted and morally-upstanding young boy.

i further think the fact that adam is the antichrist put against greasy being the second coming is a well positioned reflection on the nature vs nurture argument. ultimately adam grew up in a largely loving and supportive environment, and as the literal son of satan, you'd expect his nature, the circumstances of his birth, to rule out every other influence.

ultimately it does for a short time, but adams narrative iirc is that it is reflective of his desire to save the world... he wanted to get rid of things that were Wrong, and naively (he is still an 11-year old boy after all) thought that destroying the world and restarting it would do just that. his friends however reinforce in him that destruction and reparation are not the same thing, and so his upbringing, the nurture, wins.

greasy? we don't know a lot about him, only that he is a bully and represents the opposite of adam and the them, and is possibly (confirmed to be, if you go by that other anon) the third baby in the Botched Swap... ie. the son of the dowlings. aside from the whole allegory that greasy and the johnsonites vs adam and the them are meant to represent the hell vs heaven war as you say, the clue for me is given from the following passage (im sure you know/recall this, anon✨, but im just spitting words now):

so my thoughts are to take this entire passage with a hefty pinch of salt. i reckon that some of it is true (imo, yellow), and some just an idle pondering on what alternatively could have happened to the dowling baby (imo, green and the whole main paragraph). i furthermore like to think that the reference to the breeding of fish is also a clue.

i don't, necessarily, 100% believe that the box contains the literal baby jesus, but i do think it contains something along the lines of directions to it. the fact that it's gabriel, as you said, that is the one who has conveniently lost his memory and is meant to deliver something makes me feel it is definitely a reference to the second coming at the very least.

but how brilliant would it be to tie in the first series/the book into this wider story by harking back to greasy? that not only are we looking at the second coming, but ✨LOL TURNS OUT✨ it was the spare baby from tadfield all along!!! the kid that was kinda left out of s1 but was still deliberately referred to by god!!!

[whydidoth]

Ooh this brings back memories, I remember watching Malisa like two years ago for my central european film class and then just proceeding to stare out the window as I reevaluated my life for an hour lol and it’s reall cool to see tumblr has been made aware of it so thanks @silken-scarves for unearthing the movie poster

That said, I also gotta respectfully disagree with the summary ou gave. It’s not stated that she used to belong to a butler and I think it’s kinda flat footed and misses a pretty central theme to assert that is. Malisa is really about anonymity and loss of the self through intersections of urban modernities and virulent nationalisms

The film does open with malisa flitting around the windows to an old apartment building, and it is in that first shot that we get to see into one of the rooms where there’s a man slumped on the table (later revelaed to have been the butler) and an empty birdcage hanging from the ceiling. He’s obscured at first by the metal window from which makes a + but as the shot lifts up, our new perspective of looking down on him aligns the birdcage and the man’s head just in time to see the blood matted on the back of his head.

That angle of the camera lends us a perspective of superiority or power as we’re literally looking down on him, but it’s also not a clear cut relationship since the angle we take here also has the camera pressed pretty close to the apartment’s exterior which introduces a feeling of claustrophobia and seems alsost distracting from the rest of the shot through just how many details are visible in the grooves of the stones. The birdcage plus this tight angle are usually argued as having primary significance of being trapped (1) which like yeah that;s not a big stretch since trapped in a birdcage is a pretty cliché motif. But personally I think its more interesting to read the birdcage as division since aside from appearing to be “trapped” by the cage bars, his body is also being divided and segmented so that at the exact moment that we get to see his entire body unobscured by the window frame, he;s still presented as divided from himself.

This continues as we continue to fly upward and go past the arguing couple who are divided from echother again by the vertical metal bar of the window frame while simultaneously divided from themselves in a macabre slant since the horizontal bar separates them at the neck so we see both the aftermath of “execution” and lives now split going on regardless. The only moment that this separation might seem tobe overcome is when it looks like the husband is raising his hand to strike his wife and thus cross the dividing boundaries but we cut away before we actually see that occur (2). The only other window we really have a chance to notice as we start moving faster upward is the pair having sex (who I still 100% believe are supposed to be the clerk and the son of that prince with the funny mustache) but the curtains are drawn which refuses us being able to witness connection/physicality.

The curtain also serves to challenge our understanding of even visual connection and separation since even though we’ve been looking into these rooms, the curtain reminds us that there’s still always a window between us and the people inside which creates barriers whose purpose is to pretend that they aren’t there. But the windows also have a strong personalization since its only through the reflection in the glass of the closed windows that we ever get to see ourselves in the body of Malisa rather than just her wings or feet in the periphery (3).

These like twenty seconds that open the film are honestly just so amazing. I’m pretty sure they were shot on handheld since you can see the frame center drifts a bit which while some people (incorrectly) consider a bit messy ubt imo adds a great sense of chaos and movement (4). It also is relevant since the metal window frames are a consistent image as theres a ton of shots that split the screen into quadrants (like the bench scene where there’s a narrow building in the distance behind the bench that gets reflected in the small pond and again forms a + between building, bench, and reflection) which mirror the crosshairs on a gun. The shakiness can be seen as nervousness and lack of preparedness on the part of the gunman which helps to drive home a central tragedy in the film regarding how nothing is inevitable and that therefore violence and history is what we as a collective create through façades of individual liberal-style autonomy.

So while that opening shot could technically be read as saing that malisa used to belong to the butler (and probably is what the film was generally intending) I this to read that as a definitive fact misses the point since there;s always a persistent sense of uncertainty and hesitancy when it comes to knowing the self. It extends to the butler in that even while we think we might know our/Malisa’s history, there;s always a possibility that we’ve made it up based on what allows for the easiest and most digestible way of pretending to know ourselves.

Also just one last funny thing is that the entire film is filmed in Prague (to no one’s surprise) EXCEPT for the scene actually supposed to be in Prague which they for some reason filmed in Vienna.

1. Low, Milos. “Autonomy in Pre-Soviet Landscapes from Post-Soviet Films.” Russian Review Special Edition 4 no.39 (2011): 204-228. DOI: 117.87/00943216.

2. I could also get into a whole thing here about violence being presented as the primary form of creating human connected and how there’s a whole irony about our perspective character being an animal which makes uas confront boundaries of identity and assumpttions of hierarchy, but also I don’t want to make ppl read a whole essay haha (unless?)

3. Reuben, Mark. “The Best Film You Haven’t Seen.” The Guardian, The Guardian. 4 Sept 2015. Accessed 14 Apr 2023. https://www.theguardian.com/2015/sept/4/the-best-film-you-have-not-seen-malisa.

4. Abbot, Kathryn. “Mališa: Review.” Journal of Film 16 no.5 (2009): 97-102. DOI: 184.99/09823442.

this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.

[bailey-writes]

So You Want Your OC to be Jewish

So you’re writing a story and you want to make a Jewish character—great! I’m here to help. I always want more Jewish representation but I want good Jewish representation, so this is my attempt to make a guide to making a Jewish character. What are my credentials? I’m Jewish and have been my whole life. Obligatory disclaimer that this is by no means comprehensive, I don’t know everything, all Jews are different, and this is based on my experiences as an American Jew so I have no idea, what, if any, of this applies to non-American Jews. 

If there’s anything you want me to make a post going more into detail about or if there’s anything I didn’t mention but you want to know please ask me! I hope this is helpful :) Warning, this is long.

Jew PSA

If you are Jewish you can use the word Jew(s), e.g. “She’s dating a Jew.” If you are not Jewish you cannot use the word Jew(s). This is not up for debate. Non-Jews calling us Jews has a negative connotation at best. Don’t do it and don’t have your characters do it.

Basics, Plus My Random Thoughts that Didn’t Fit Anywhere Else

A confusing enduring issue is, what is Judaism? It’s a religion, but some Jews aren’t religious; is it a race? A nationality? A culture? A heritage? The only constant is that we are seen as “other.” There’s a lot of debate, which makes it confusing to be Jewish and as such it’s common for Jews to struggle with their Jewish Identity. However many people agree that Jews are an ethnoreligious group, aka Judaism is a religion and an ethnicity.

Temple/Synagogue/Shul = Jewish place of worship. Shul is usually used for Orthodox synagogues.

Keeping kosher = following Jewish dietary rules: meat and dairy can’t be eaten together and you can’t eat pork or shellfish. Fish and eggs are pareve (aka neutral) and can be eaten with meat or dairy (but again not both at the same time.) When eating meat it has to be kosher meat (e.g. kosher Jews are allowed to eat chicken, but not all chicken is kosher. I know it’s kinda confusing I’m sorry.) Kosher products in stores will have symbols on them to identify them as kosher. If someone is kosher they’ll probably have separate sets of utensils/plates/cookware/etc. for meat and dairy

Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath = holy day of the week, day of rest, lasts from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. Depending on observance Jews might have Shabbat dinner, attend Shabbat services, or observe the day of rest in its entirety (making them shomer Shabbat)

Someone who is shomer Shabbat will refrain from any of the prohibited activities. These can easily be looked up but include: working, writing, handling money, cooking, and using technology.

Bat/Bar/B’nai Mitvzah = tradition where a Jewish boy/girl becomes a man/woman. Celebrated at 13-years-old for boys, 12- or 13-years-old for girls. Girls have Bat Mitzvahs (bat means daughter in Hebrew), boys have Bar Mitzvahs (bar means son in Hebrew) and twins or two or more people having one together have a B’nai Mitzvah. They will study for this for months and then help lead services and, depending on observance level, read from the Torah. The ceremony is often attended by family and friends and followed with a celebration of sorts (in America usually this means a brunch and/or party.)

Goy/gentile = non-Jew. These words are not slurs, they are literally just words. Plural of goy is goyim and is a Yiddish word, plural of gentile is gentiles.

Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar, meaning that according to the current solar/Gregorian calendar the dates of our holidays are different each year.

Jewish law recognizes matrilineal inheritance. This means that Jewish law states your mother has to be Jewish for you to be Jewish. This is because of reasons from biblical times that I can explain if you wanna come ask, but as you can imagine is a bit outdated. While Orthodox Jews might embrace this idea and only consider someone Jewish if their mom is Jewish, many Jews are more flexible on the idea (and yes, this does cause tension between Orthodox Jews and other Jews at times.)

Judaism =/= Christianity

Some people think Judaism is just Christianity without Jesus (some people don’t even realize we don’t believe in/celebrate Jesus so newsflash, we don’t) and that’s just wrong. Yes both religions share the Old Testament, so they also share some history and beliefs, but the entire ideologies of the religions are different. In brief, they are similar in some ways but are not the same.

What seems to me to be the biggest difference is that Christianity (from what I understand) has a heavy focus on sins, more specifically repenting for/gaining forgiveness for your sins. In Christianity you are born tainted by original sin. In Judaism we believe everyone is born pure and free from sin and everyone is made in God’s image. Judaism has some concept of sin, but doesn’t focus on them and instead focuses on performing Mitzvot (plural, singular form is mitzvah. Direct translation is “commandment” but basically means good deed or act of kindness. It also relates to the commandments, so following the commandments is also performing mitzvot.) Examples of mitzvot include anything from saying a prayer or lighting Shabbat candles to helping a stranger or donating to charity (called tzedakah). One of the main tenets of Judaism is tikkun olam, which directly translates to “repair the world” and means exactly what it says on the tin. Instead of focusing on being forgiven for doing bad Judaism focuses on doing good. The only day we focus on past wrongdoings is Yom Kippur, one of our most holy holidays, discussed below.

Holidays

Rosh Hashanah – The Jewish New Year, occurs around September and lasts for two days, though Reform Jews often only celebrate the first day. Day of happiness and joy, celebrated by eating sweet things for a “sweet new year” (often apples dipped in honey) and circular challah to represent the end of one year and beginning of another. Also celebrated with services and blowing the shofar (rams horn.) Some spend the day in prayer and/or silent meditation. Possible greetings: chag sameach (happy holiday; can be said on almost any holiday), Shana Tovah, or happy new year (which is what Shana Tovah means, some people just say it in English.)

Yom Kippur – Day of Atonement. Occurs ten days after the start of Rosh Hashanah. One of if not the most solemn day for Jews, but also the most holy. The day is spent reflecting on yourself and any past wrongdoings and atoning. The day (sundown the night before to sundown the day of) is spent fasting, a physical way of atoning. We do this in hopes of being “written in the Book of Life” and starting the year with a clean slate. The shofar is blown at the end of the holiday. Most Jews will end the fast with a grand meal with family and friends. Most common greeting is “have an easy fast,” but happy new year is still appropriate.

Sukkot – Celebrates the harvest, occurs on the fifth day after Yom Kippur and lasts seven days. Celebrated by building a temporary hut outdoors called a sukkah and having meals inside it, as well as shaking palm fronds tied together (called a lulav) and holding a citrus called an etrog. Very fun and festive holiday. Possible greetings include chag sameach or Happy Sukkot.

Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah – Some Jews (mostly Reform Jews and Jews living in Israel) combine both holidays into one day while some celebrate them as two separate days. Either way they occur immediately after Sukkot. Shemini Atzeret is similar but separate from Sukkot and features a prayer for rain; Sukkot is not mentioned in prayers and the lulav isn’t shaken but you do eat in the sukkah. Simchat Torah celebrates finishing reading the Torah, which we will then begin again the next day. It’s a festive holiday with dancing and fun. Some Temples will roll the entire Torah out and the children will run under it. Appropriate greeting for both would be chag sameach.

Rosh Hashanah through Simchat Torah are referred to as the High Holidays.

Chanukah – We all know about Chanukah, celebrating the reclaiming of the Second Temple and the miracle of the oil lasting eight days. The most represented Jewish Holiday there is. Unfortunately it’s one of the least significant holidays for us. Occurs around November or December and lasts eight days and nights. Celebrated by lighting candles in the Menorah each night with a prayer and kids usually get gifts each night. Also celebrated with spinning tops called dreidels, fried foods like doughnuts (sufganiyot in Hebrew; usually the jelly filled ones) and potato pancakes called latkes. Greetings: happy Chanukah or chag sameach.

Tu B’Shevat – Birthday of the trees, basically Jewish Arbor Day. Minor but fun holiday, sometimes celebrated by planting trees. Occurs around January or February.

Purim – Celebrates how Queen Esther of Persia defeated Haman and saved her people, the Jews. Occurs in Spring. Festive holiday traditionally celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating sweets, and giving tzedakah (it’s also technically commanded you get drunk so woohoo!) Whenever Haman’s name is mentioned you make a lot of noise, booing and using noisemakers called groggers. Greetings: happy Purim, chag Purim, or chag sameach.

Passover/Pesach – Celebrates the Jews being freed from slavery in Egypt. Occurs in Spring and lasts eight days. The first two nights (some only celebrate the first night) are celebrated with seder, a ritual meal with certain foods, practices, prayers, and readings from a book called the Haggadah and often attended by family and friends. Most famous prayer/song of the holiday is the four questions, which ask why that night is different from all other nights and is traditionally sung by the youngest child at the seder. The entire holiday is spent not eating certain foods, mostly grain or flour (the food restrictions are complicated and differ based on denomination so look it up or ask a Jew.) We eat a lot of matzah during Pesach, which is like a cracker kinda. I personally hate it but some people actually like it. Greetings: happy Passover, chag pesach, or chag sameach.

Tisha B’Av – Anniversary of the destruction of the Temple. Occurs in Summer. Very sad, solemn day. Some celebrate by fasting from sunrise to sunset. Not the most widely celebrated holiday. Some also commemorate the Holocaust (also called the Shoah) on this day as it was the destruction of a figurative temple.

Denominations

There are a bunch of denominations in Judaism, we’ll go into it briefly.

Religious denominations:

Reform/Reformed: This is the least religiously observant level. Often Reform Jews don’t keep kosher or observe Shabbat, their services on Shabbat will use instruments. Reform Jews probably attend services for the high holidays at the very least and probably had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah. Might say they consider themselves more culturally Jewish. Their Temple/Synagogue will be the most “liberal”—aka have more female/diverse Rabbis and a more diverse congregation. I’m Reform and my Temple’s lead Rabbi is a woman and we used to have a Rabbi who’s a queer single mother.

Conservative: More religiously observant and more generally traditional. Might keep kosher or observe Shabbat, but not necessarily. Services likely won’t use instruments (not supposed to play instruments on Shabbat). Most likely had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, but girls might not read from the Torah, though this depends on the congregation. They do allow female Rabbis, but in my experience it’s less common.

Modern Orthodox: Very religiously observant but also embrace modern society. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot (singular=kippah) and tzitzit under their shirts. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married), most likely with a wig, and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Parents will likely have jobs. Might have larger families (aka more children) but might not. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and female Rabbis are very rare. Children will most likely attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

note: there are some people who fall somewhere between modern Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox, or between any two denominations really. as you can imagine people don’t all practice the exact same way.

Ultra-Orthodox: Very religiously observant and not necessarily modern. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot or other head coverings and tzitzit under their shirts, and are also often seen wearing suits. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married) with a wig or scarf and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Men might have jobs but might instead focus on Jewish studies, while women most often focus on housework and child-rearing. Don’t believe in contraception (but this is kinda nuanced and depends). Will often have very large families because having children is a commandment and helps continue the Jewish people. Might be shomer negiah which means not touching members of the opposite sex aside from their spouse and some close family members. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and there won’t be female Rabbis. Children will attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

Ethnic denominations (the different denominations do have some differences in practices and such but tbh I don’t know much about that so this is just the basics):

Ashkenazi: Jews that originate from Central/Eastern Europe. Yiddish, a combination of Hebrew and German, originated from and was spoken by Ashkenazim and while it’s a dying language it’s spoken among many Orthodox Jews and many Jews of all levels know/speak some Yiddish words and phrases. Majority of Jews worldwide are Ashkenazi.

Sephardi/Sephardic: Jews that originate from the Iberian Peninsula, North Africa, and southeastern Europe. Ladino, a combination of Old Spanish and Hebrew, originated from and was spoken by Sephardim. It is also a dying language but is still spoken by some Sephardim. After Ashkenazi most of the world’s Jews are Sephardic.

Mizrahi: Jews that originate from the Middle East and North Africa.

Ethiopian Jews: Community of Jews that lived in Ethiopia for over 1,000 years, though most have immigrated to Israel by now.

Stereotypes/Tropes/Controversies/Etc.

There are so many Jewish stereotypes and shit and I ask you to please be mindful of them. Stereotypes do exist for a reason, so some people will fit stereotypes. This means your character might fit one or two; don’t make them fit all of them. Please. Stereotypes to keep in mind (and steer away from) include:

All Jews are rich.

All Jews are greedy.

All Jews are cheap/frugal.

All Jews are [insert job here]. We’ll go into this more below.

All Jews hate Christians/Muslims/etc.

All Jews are white. 

First of all Ethiopian and Mizrahi Jews exist, many Sephardi are Hispanic, and today with intermarriage and everything this just isn’t true.

All Jews have the same physical features: large and/or hooked nose, beady eyes, droopy eyelids, red hair (this is an old stereotype I didn’t really know existed), curly hair.

Many Jews do have somewhat large noses and curly hair. I’m not saying you can’t give these features to your characters, but I am saying to be careful and don’t go overboard. And don’t give all of your Jewish characters these features. As a side note, it is common at least among American Jews that girls get nose jobs. Not all, but some.

Jews are secretly world elite/control the world/are lizard people/new world order/ any of this stuff. 

STAY AWAY FROM. DO NOT DO THIS OR ANYTHING LIKE THIS. If you have a character that’s part lizard, do not make them Jewish. If you have a character that’s part of a secret group that controls the entire world, do not make them Jewish.

Jews have horns. If you have characters with horns please don’t make them Jewish.

Jews killed Jesus.

The blood libel. Ew. No.

The blood libel is an antisemitic accusation/idea/concept that back in the day Jews would murder Christian children to use their blood in religious rituals and sometimes even for consumption (did I mention gross?) Not only did this just not happen, but it’s actually against Jewish law to murder, sacrifice, or consume blood. Yes these accusations really happened and it became a main reason for persecution of Jews. And some people still believe this shit.

Jews caused The Plague.

The reason this conspiracy exists is because many Jews didn’t get The Plague and the goyim thought that meant it was because the Jews caused it/cursed them. The real reason Jews didn’t get it is because ritual hand-washing and good hygiene kept them from getting it. Sorry that we bathe.

Jewish mother stereotype.

Ok, listen. I know stereotypes are mostly a bad thing but I have to admit the Jewish mother stereotype is not far off. Jewish moms do tend to be chatty and a little nagging, are often very involved in their children’s lives, and they are often trying to feed everyone (although they don’t all cook, my mom hates cooking.) They also tend to be big worriers, mostly worrying about their family/loved ones. They also tend to know everyone somehow. A twenty minute trip to the grocery store can turn into an hour or two long trip because she’ll chat with all the people she runs into.

Jewish-American Princess (JAP) ((I know calling Japanese people Japs is offensive. Jews will call girls JAPs, but with a completely different meaning. If that’s still offensive I am sorry, but just know it happens.))

This is the stereotype that portrays Jewish girls/women as spoiled brats basically. They will be pampered and materialistic. Do these girls exist? Definitely. I still recommend steering away from this stereotype.

Names

Listen. Listen. There are some names that Jews just won’t have. I won’t speak in definites because there are always exceptions but you’ll rarely find a Jew named Trinity or Grace or Faith or any form of Chris/Christopher/Christina etc. Biblical names from the Old Testament? Absolutely Jews will have those names they’re actually very common.

I’m in a Jewish Sorority. My pledge class of ~70 girls had five Rebeccas and four Sarahs. Surprisingly only one Rachel though.

When it comes to last names I have two thoughts that might seem contradictory but hear me out: a) give your Jewish OC’s Jewish surnames, b) don’t give your Jewish OC’s the most Jewish surname to ever exist.

By this I mean I would much rather see a character named Sarah Cohen or Aaron Levine than Rachel Smith. Just that little bit of recognition makes a happy exclamation point appear over my head, plus it can be a good way to hint to readers that your OC is Jewish.

On the other hand, please don’t use the most stereotypical Jewish names you’ve ever heard. If you have five Jewish OCs and one of them is Isaac Goldstein then fine. If Isaac Goldstein is your only Jewish OC I might get a little peeved. There are tons of common Jewish surnames that are recognizable and easy to look up, so don’t revert to the first three that come to mind. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it yucky, for lack of a better word.

Jobs

We all know there are certain jobs that are stereotypical for Jews to have. We’re talking lawyer, dentist, doctor, banker type stuff. To an extent these stereotypes exist for a reason, many Jews go into those careers. Do not make these the only careers your Jewish OCs have. Stereotypes might have reasoning behind them but it doesn’t mean they aren’t harmful. If you have multiple Jewish OCs some of them can have these careers, but not all of them. I do know a lot of Jewish lawyers, dentists, and doctors. I also know accountants, people involved in businesses (“mom, what does Brad do?” “he’s a businessman” sometimes there just aren’t more specific words), people involved in real estate. I don’t actually know any bankers personally, and with money and stuff being one of the most common and harmful Jewish stereotypes I would suggest steering away from that.

These are common fields for Jews, but Jews can have literally any job. Please feel free to get creative. And if you have more than one Jewish OC you can think about making one of them a Rabbi, but DON’T do this if they’re the only Jewish OC. Please.

Yiddish

So I mentioned Yiddish earlier. Like I already said, it’s not a very widely used language anymore but there are some words and phrases that are still used by a lot of Jews (in America at least.) Here’s a list that is absolutely not comprehensive:

Oy vey = oh no

Shvitzing = sweating (but not just a little bit. Shvitzing is like SWEATING)

Kvetch/kvetching = whine/whining or complain/complaining

Mazel tov = congratulations; this is the same in Yiddish and Hebrew

Chutzpah = nerve or gall (e.g. “He’s got a lot of chutzpah for breaking up over text like that”)

Kismet = fate; I just learned this is Yiddish

Bubbe and Zayde = grandma and grandpa

Schelp/schlepping = drag/dragging, can also mean carry or move (e.g. “I had to schlep the bag all around town” doesn’t mean they literally dragged it)

Schmutz = dirt or something dirty (e.g. “you have schmutz on your face”)

Schmatta = literally means rag but can be used to refer to ratty blankets or clothes

Plotz = collapse (usually used in the sense of “I’m so tired I might plotz” or “she’s gonna be so excited she’s gonna plotz”)

Schmuck/shmendrick = both mean more or less the same, a jerk or obnoxious person

Shtick = gimmick, routine, or act (can be used like (“I don’t like that comedian’s shtick” or “he always makes himself the center of attention it’s his shtick”)

Spiel = long speech, story, or rant

There’s so many more so look them up and think about using them, but don’t overdo it. A Jewish person isn’t gonna use a Yiddish word in every sentence (or even every day or every few days.)

Israel

In my community at least it’s very common that by the time your college-aged that you’ll have been to Israel at least once.

Israel is a controversial topic within the Jewish community and in the world. It’s sensitive and complex. I really, really suggest not getting into it. Just don’t bring it up because no matter what you say someone will be unhappy. Just don’t do it.

Ashkenazi Disorders

Ashkenazi Jews have some sucky genes (I’m Ashkenazi so I can say this, you cannot.) These sucky genes cause certain disorders to be more prevalent for us. Children only get the disorder if both parents are carriers of the disorder, so Jews usually get genetic testing done before having children. If both parents are carriers the risk of the child getting the disorder is high, so parents might reconsider or have some indecisiveness/fear. Some of these are:

Tay-Sachs

Cystic Fibrosis

Canavan Disease

Familial Dysautonomia

Gaucher Disease

Spinal Muscular Atrophy  

Fanconi Anemia

Mucolipidosis IV

Niemann-Pick Disease

Torsion Dystonia

Bloom Syndrome

Ashkenazi Jews also have a high prevalence of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, which increase the risk of breast and ovarian cancer in women and increase the risk of breast and prostate cancer in men.

Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Lactose Intolerance are also very prevalent

In a dorm of like 40 Jews, six of them had Crohn’s.

Ways to Show Your OC is Jewish

Wears Jewish jewelry, e.g. Star of David (also called Jewish Star and Magen David), Chai symbol (means life), jewelry with Sh’ma prayer, or hamsa (but beware this symbol is used outside of Judaism).

Mentions their temple, their Rabbi, having a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, going to Hebrew School, Shabbat, or a holiday coming up.

Have someone ask them a question about Judaism.

Have someone notice they have a mezuzah on their door. 

Most Jews will have a mezuzah on the doorframe of the front door of their house/apartment, but they could even have one for their dorm room or whatever. It’s traditional to kiss your hand then touch the mezuzah when walking through the door, but most Jews don’t do this every time, at least not most Reform or Conservative Jews.

Have them call out antisemitism if you’re feeling spicy

The end! I hope this helped and if you have any questions my ask box is always open!

[iamanartichoke]

I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, but I may as well.

I keep starting to reply to things and then stopping bc the words just aren't there, and I suppose I figured out the core of what bothers me so much (and is making me have such a rollercoaster of a fan experience) about the show.

(cut for length)

It's not well-written. My opinion is my opinion, so I'm saying this subjectively, take it or leave it, but ... I feel that it's not well-written. The overall story is fine, and the plot is fine, but I don't know if it's because of the limited number of episodes not being enough to house the story, or because of the relative inexperience of the writer/showrunner+director, or both, or something else, but -

In an earlier reaction post to episode 4, I mentioned really wanting to sink my teeth into all of the subtext I picked up on. That was what made me initially enjoy the episode so much - there were a lot of little moments that I initially felt revealed so much about the characters and about Loki, and I wanted to analyze them. But at some point, as I gathered more information, my perspective changed and now I no longer want to analyze the subtext bc ... subtext = good. Subtext w/out payoff = not as good.

I'll go into more detail in a moment, but I think the tl;dr of it is that I feel like the narrative requires the audience to work way too hard to put together all of the moving pieces here and, like, I kinda just don't want to do that work? Not so much of it, and not in vain. A lot of the enjoyment of Loki's characterization is coming from fans who are rationalizing why he's behaving as he is, but the narrative never actually confirms those rationalizations. It's asking us to figure it out and maybe our conclusions will be correct but maybe they won't, though. At some point, subtext isn't enough without explicit follow-through.

I thought my issue was with the lack of character development - that is, not having enough narrative space to really earn the big things that are happening now, like Loki/Sylvie or Mobius turning against the TVA. And that's still true, to an extent; I still feel like the pacing is all very off and it seems like most of these things kinda came out of nowhere (but are not unbelievable - just undeveloped).

But, yknow, it is what it is, it's a limited series, and I can excuse some things. Ultimately, my issue isn't a problem with what the narrative isn't doing, it's a problem with what the narrative already failed to do and probably cannot recover from at this point.

The narrative has left out significant details that should at least help us do some of the work here. If a person turned on Loki and started episode 1 and had no background knowledge of the character besides that he tried to take over New York - how would that person interpret Loki? Would that person say, oh, well, he's been through X, Y, and Z, and plus A happened, not to mention B, C, and D, so really, it makes sense that he seems off-the-rails, or that he'd want to get ridiculously drunk at the worst time ever.

Maybe we'd like to believe they would, but how would they be getting to that conclusion? The narrative hasn't led them in that direction so, no, they would not say well we have to consider this, this, and that. It would be impossible to really understand Loki as a character from just what we've gotten in the series. The general audience would probably interpret Loki as being out of his element and so it becomes, I wonder how this character is going to get the upper hand here. And, while that's not wrong, it's just so limited.

The narrative at face value does not address Loki's identity crisis from Thor 2011. It does not address his hurt and devastation at being lied to, nor does it address how complicated his self-image is (bc it sucked to begin with and that was before he found out he was part of a race of "monsters," as he'd been taught his entire life). It does not reference Loki being so broken at the end of Thor 2011 that he deliberately let himself fall into the void of space (aka tried to kill himself). It does not reference that he was tortured by Thanos or even that he went through a seriously dark time in between Thor and Avengers, and it absolutely does not reference or address any influence or control of the mind stone.

These are all things that we, the fan audience, know because we've already invested our time into this character's story. But tons of people, the general audience, wouldn't know these things. Or if they did, bc they saw Thor and Avengers, they wouldn't be thinking about them as deeply as we would, nor contextualizing them with how Loki is behaving now, or why it would make sense that he needed to get drunk, or why it's understandable that he needs to keep going-going-going in order to not have a spare second to think or feel.

They'd probably look at Loki, again, as a character who was a villain and is now getting his comeuppance in a place where he has no power or control, and no literal powers, and even when he manages to escape and catch up to the variant, he proceeds to fuck up their plan for seemingly no real reason except that he wanted to get drunk bc he's hedonistic. Which Sylvie even berates him for! I mean. This is not exactly a complex character breakdown, nor a very flattering one, but that's what the narrative has given us.

(If the narrative has addressed Loki's mind control, his torture, his mental breakdown, his suicide attempt, and his general shitty self-esteem as a result of his upbringing, please point it out to me. If the narrative has explicitly acknowledged and referenced these things anywhere and I am missing it, please show me where. Please explain to me how the casual viewer would know any of these things that they need to know in order to actually understand what's happening in this story.)

So I mean, okay, we have a narrative that doesn't paint a full, accurate picture of Loki. Fine, sure. But because the general audience starts out on the wrong footing, they're not going to get out of the overall story what the writers probably intended them to. For example, in episode 3, a lot of us theorized that Loki had some kind of plan - that he broke the timepad on purpose, for some reason, bc otherwise it wasn't believable that he'd be such a failure. But episode 4 revealed that no, there was no bigger plan, Loki just plain old messed up. Which is fine if, again, one is only considering the surface-level portrayal here, but it's not true to Loki's actual characterization.

I mean. Loki is not perfect and Loki actually fails a lot, this is true. He fails for a lot of reasons, but incompetence has never been one of them. Usually it's that either things grew beyond his control, or there ended up being too many moving parts, or he had to change his plan at the last minute due to some roadblock or another being thrown his way, or even that he got in his own way - whatever the case may be for his plans' failures, he was always at least shown to know what he was doing.

That wasn't the case here. The "plan" to fix the Timepad failed as a direct result of Loki's actions, which were careless and made him seem incompetent, like he couldn't even handle this mission. "You had one job," etc. And there were pretty big consequences for this; they were not able to get off-world in time and would have been killed had the TVA not shown up at the last second.

And maybe none of these things matter bc the writers never intended any of this to be a reflection on Loki's character, positive or negative. The situation exists solely because the writers needed to put Loki and Sylvie together in some kind of hopeless scenario so that they could get closer, and thus the narrative could set up their romance. I get that - but, there were other ways to do it that didn't require Loki to look foolish.

Furthermore, the whole reason they needed to set up the romance is to show Loki eventually learning to love himself (like, figuratively but also literally). The audience is supposed to gather that Loki and Sylvie fell for one another, possibly due to the high emotional aspect of, yknow, being about to die (in addition to the variant-bond). The intent is clear: Loki and Sylvie almost die but get rescued at the last minute, having now created an emotional bond --> Loki and Sylvie team up and the narrative further establishes that Loki, at least, has caught feelings --> Loki might confess them but is pruned before he gets the chance --> he somehow survives, he and Sylvie are reunited and don't want to lose one another again, and the combined power of their love is enough to break the sacred timeline and spawn the multiverse, and the reason that the power of their love is so, well, powerful is because it's about self-love and self-acceptance as much as it is about having the capacity to love someone else. The end.

I get all that. The writers more or less said all that. And, I mean, it's certainly not the way I would have chosen to go about it, but it's a fair enough arc to explore. I don't really have an issue with the intent - but my question, however, is this: if the narrative has so far not addressed Loki's background issues (as outlined above), and has furthermore kinda gone out of its way to portray Loki as hedonistic and narcissistic, among other things (like kinda incompetent), and the context the audience starts with is that Loki's this villain who deserves what he gets -

- my question is 1, why should the audience care whether or not Loki gets to a point of loving and accepting himself (thus to make the theme of self-love, via the romance, hold weight) if they don't know that he hates himself to begin with and 2, why should the audience root for Loki to reach that point when so far the perception of him is that he's "kind of an asshole"? if he's a hedonistic narcissist, he probably already has a pretty inflated sense of himself, right? A misplaced inflated sense of himself, at that, because, again, the narrative has made him out to be not that capable of much of anything. (And it didn't start out that way! It seemed to start out with Loki being capable and intelligent but it's like episode 3, in trying to set up the romance, just jumbled it all up somewhere. I think this is why I'm harping on the Loki/Sylvie aspect so much - it's frustrating bc it kinda messes up the whole story and can't even accomplish what it's supposed to anyway.)

Anyway, that's beside the point. What I'm ultimately getting at is, at what point is the audience supposed to get invested in Loki's personal growth journey?

They can't, not really. Without understanding and having the context of everything Loki has been through up until now, and why he hates himself, and why it's so important that he learn to love himself, then the "payoff" becomes kinda pointless bc the significance of it is lost in translation. So suddenly we're left with this romance that comes off as either "Loki loves Sylvie bc of Reasons" (best-case scenario) or "Loki loves Sylvie bc he's vain, narcissistic, and kinda twisted" (worst-case scenario). Neither of these conclusions are what the writers intended or were going for, I'm positive, but there we are, regardless.

In order for the writers' intent in these storylines to land, they need to address the context of what makes these particular stakes high for Loki. So far, they haven't done that. They're asking the audience to pick up on all of these things, and they're showing things that subtextually make sense and are relatively in-character - but only if you realize there's subtext in the first place.

But you can't expect the audience to do all of the work for you. If you don't want the audience to think that Loki is a narcissistic asshole and instead you are trying to convey that, worst-case scenario, he thinks he's a narcissist but is an unreliable narrator, then you have to address that. If you need the audience to understand why you're going the selfcest route and why it's important to explore Loki's capacity to love himself and others, you have to address where that exploration is starting from and why it matters. Etc etc etc.

The narrative isn't doing any of that. And it isn't like it'd be that hard to do it. They don't need to reinvent the wheel here; a lot of the pieces are already there. A few lines of dialogue for context, a brief scene here or there addressing the issues, a little more care and consistency in how Loki handles things - these are all little things that could go a long fucking way in making the narrative stronger.

I'm rambling. My basic point is that my rollercoaster of emotions with this show is because

- as a part of the fan audience, not the general one, I can contextualize and analyze the subtext and come to the conclusions the show wants me to, and thus find the story and the characters more or less enjoyable,

- but I am also going to be using the subtext to come to conclusions that aren't there but probably should be (I think it would be a better story, for example, for Loki to confuse platonic love with romantic love bc it would pave the way to explore just how fucked up Loki's understanding of love - whether of other people or of himself, and the different forms it can take - actually is)

- and when they're ultimately not there, then I think, okay why am I bothering doing all this work just to ultimately feel very unfulfilled? They don't even have to write it the way I would, I'm not saying that, but they do have to do something to make the story feel rewarding.

If we don't get some confirmation of what Loki's been through, and where his headspace is, and why it matters for him to love himself, then the story remains pretty shallow and, for me, it's not fulfilling enough. It's not engaging enough. There isn't actually anything to sink my teeth into, so it becomes kind of boring. Maybe it's rewarding to other people, and that's great for them, but like - I need more than whatever this is.

So I'm just like - well, I had a lot of worries about this show, but my being bored wasn't one of them and now there's only two episodes left and am I really not going to get anything out of this, in the long run? No new canons, no new depths or layers, no new information on Loki's experiences? This is it?

I don't dislike it. I didn't start out disliking it, and I probably wont end up disliking it. I mean, there are a lot of good moments, and good things, and fan service-y things that I appreciate. As far as inspiration for fic goes, it's a goldmine, both plot-wise as well as aesthetic-wise. All of that is great. I don't dislike this show.

But I am disappointed in it, and I feel like I'll be watching the next two episodes lacking the sense of anticipation that would make it exciting. I'll still enjoy them, probably, if for nothing else just the sheer Loki content, but whatever it was I felt watching episodes 1 and 2 is gone and I'm sad about that, too. Because I really wanted to feel fulfilled by this series; I wanted it to fill up the void that Loki's death in IW created three years ago. And I just ... don't feel it. Maybe, maybe that'll change over the course of episodes 5 and 6. I don't know.

Everything that I end up enjoying long-term, I think, will come about as a result of my own interpretations and analysis and while theoretically there's nothing wrong with that, if I had known all I'd get out of this series was more headcanons or support for my current headcanons then, well - that's fine, I suppose, but I'll definitely a little bit robbed.

[mc-critical]

Been a while but didnt want to overwhelm you

Hope You're fine!

So my question is between Nurbanu Sultan, Safiye Sultan and Mihrimah Sultan who was more Influential during Selim's and Murad's Reign? We Know that Mihrimah acted as Valide sultan too (with Nurbanu) and Safiye, considering Mihrimah's Support shouldn't have been far too off considering she was also Haseki and Very Respected.

My List in Selim's Reign Would Be

1.Mihrimah

2.Nurbanu

3.Safiye

My List in Murad's Reign would be

1.Nurbanu

2.Mihrimah

3.Safiye

Murad Respected Mihrimah Sultan Very much so i believe , as long as mihrimah lived, Sultan Murad Held her high in Status, Considering the rank in the harem Mihrimah,as a royal blood sultana plus older than nurbanu, should've been comparable to her or more influntial.

Let me know your opinion<3

During Selim's reign, both Mihrimah and Nurbanu certainly played historically, since Mihrimah was defacto his Valide and Nurbanu - his haseki. Mihrimah could be the one that dominated at first, because she ruled his harem and certainly kept stuff under control, but when Selim eventually married Nurbanu, she became the most influential woman in his reign. Safiye wasn't all that influential during Selim's reign, since she was gaining a favorable position in Murad's harem and the battle between her and Nurbanu probably intensified only during his reign.

In the show, things aren't so predetermined. We had Mihrimah leaving the capital even before SS died and Selim officially ascended the throne, leaving stuff to Nurbanu and Safiye even earlier. It's pretty much up for speculation on whether she came back or not and how involved she was in Selim's reign. The amount of influence she had in the reign depends on whether she came back or not. If she didn't come back, she could've definetly supervised stuff or at least send someone to tell her what the news are through Safiye, whom she herself trained in the show. Then I don't really see her coming back or doing stuff directly, because she had Safiye for this purpose already, she had someone to work against Nurbanu who was to keep being faithful to her (and judging by Safiye's characterization in MCK, yes, she stays true to what Mihrimah has told her about Hürrem and her legacy and based nearly her entire philosophy and principles on that). She would visit Selim, she would still help him if he needed that help, no matter how resentful she was to him for Bayezid, Selim himself would want to calm her. She left stuff go according to her plans (Safiye ultimately defeated Nurbanu) and she would have a say on how this whole battle would go before her death, but would she have all the say, if she somehow didn't rule Selim's harem? I doubt it. But then again, Selim would want her back, because someone would have to rule the harem after all and for them to maybe start over. She may try her best to rule his harem, to work against Nurbanu as a Valide and to enhance the conflict between her and Safiye and she may be the dominating force for a while, but Nurbanu would gain the upper hand eventually, due to all the support Selim would give her, especially if Mihrimah wouldn't want to let go of her resentment of Selim and he saw that. It would be a hard fight between them, since I feel who's more influential depends not as much on their positions in the hierarchy as it does on whoever gets more support from Selim eventually. Nurbanu would know that, too, and strive to keep the influence she had on him, while I think for Mihrimah it would take more time to try reaching out to Selim, because he had a finger in a wound of hers that probably would never heal and that could lose her some points. And once again, Nurbanu would prevail, because of Selim marrying her, hence giving her more priveleges and she would be more confident about asserting herself against Mihrimah. Nurbanu would perhaps struggle with Safiye more here than historically, because again, the battle would be on way earlier, but Nurbanu would still dominate as a favourite and haseki, while Safiye could show her force in a similar role to Nurbanu in Selim's reign only after Murat took over. Here too she would have the last position.

For the infamous fight for influence during Murad's reign historically, I have some quotes from Pinar Kayaalp's research on Nurbanu named "The empress Nurbanu and Ottoman politics in the sixteenth century. Building the Atik Valide": "In short, in contrast with Selim, who was rebuked for having transferred his authority to his imperial Divan, Murad was condemned for having conceded all his power to a close-knit coalition within the imperial harem loyal to the Valide Sultan. Murad’s haseki, Safiye, joined the fray, sometimes collaborating with but often acting against her mother-in-law and her allies. 125 Contemporaneous dispatches and relazioni of Venetian diplomats carefully reflect the transformation of power, following Nurbanu’s and Safiye’s political trajectory day by day. The minute details given in these sources illustrate that their authors discerned not one, but two foci of power in the imperial court. A relazione, that of Paolo Contarini dated 1583, stresses the good fortune of the Venetian Republic for having Nurbanu’s full support, since she was the most influential of the Sultan’s council, seconded by Safiye. It is a common occurrence that he shies away from any action necessitated by the [exigencies of] the day ahead, resting a deed principally on the counsel of his mother, believing that he could never obtain a more affectionate and faithful advice than hers, stemming from the reverence that he nurtures for her and his esteem for her rare qualities and many virtues. Another [woman] who has authority over His Majesty is the Sultana, his wife, who is also engaged skillfully in the affairs of state and makes her opinions heard, because she is loved infinitely by the Signor. As a result, this empire more and more has come to be governed by the [two] Sultanas, who use the magnificent pashas as the executors of their wishes and who summon them at their will as their counselors."  The fight between Nurbanu and Safiye clearly marked Murad's whole reign and Nurbanu apparently held her ground very well, given Murad leaning on his mother's advices and support. She was the most influential person in his reign, with Safiye as an opposition and unfortunately or not, Mihrimah... wasn't much of a factor during the reign. After all, she lost the position as Selim's Valide, she died very early in Murad's reign and the quotes detail how the political power between the two forces that were Safiye and Nurbanu was growing rapidly. There isn't so much Mihrimah could've done historically, since the pashas and the divan probably had to choose to be either on Nurbanu's or Safiye's side.

In the show, we're again left on more speculation. And Mihrimah could've had more say than historically, because we were shown that Murad respected her, as well, and she specifically instructed Safiye. Until she died, she could've helped Safiye in her battle and if she was still in the castle, support her even and make things even harder for Nurbanu, and if she wasn't, she would've visited them at the very least, since Murad would surely ask about her. She would have reached out to him comparatively more easily than Selim, because there was no fight between both of them. Mihrimah could've ensured Safiye's victory somehow, with a plan or an advice Safiye followed even after Mihrimah died. But even then... the battle was between Safiye and Nurbanu and its outcome was the decider of who was the most influential. Here Nurbanu probably had even more of a struggle, because Murad was infatuated with Safiye even before Selim's reign officially began and it's more likely that he would get in fights with his mother because of Safiye. We know that Nurbanu does eventually become more cruel (Safiye saying she was the cruelest sultana she has even known) and that Safiye has been exiled once in the Old Castle during Murat's reign, so she has had much power and ruthlessness at her behest. We also know that Safiye eventually has gotten used to her own power so much that she refused to give up from it in MCK and I kinda doubt this began only from Mahmud's reign. (that's why I think Safiye has the best material for a spin-off out of the show!SOW - the contrast between her E239 words and MCK Safiye is massive and it's worth observing how we got from the person being there for a sole task and fulfilling the role Mihrimah trained her for to the person who not only got out of the role, faced so many hardships from the system that she gained a vast knowledge of it, but gained this much power, correspondance with queen Elizabeth, such presence and such a big confidence in herself.) So judging by the show' canon dynamics and from what we know, in Murad's reign, Nurbanu and Safiye were fighting tooth and nail with different amounts of upper hand when Nurbanu's influence as a Valide dominated until Safiye took over and Mihrimah probably helped Safiye to gain more supporters.

[jessmalia]

tell me your favourite disney songs pleaseeee

Ok I gotta start out with the BEST one so I'll just have it out there

I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU IS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE! IT'S THE BEST DISNEY SONG EVER AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL! People have criticised me for liking it before because "uwu it has SEXISM in it that means it's BAD" like yeah??? it's a movie about female empowerment of course it's gonna have sexism in it, that doesn't make it problematic you fucking idiot. It's about as cold of a take as "oh no did you hear that Brokeback Mountain has homophobia in it? not very woke of them" like dude have you no critical thinking? I don't give a shit about the sexist lines it's a fucking BOP okay. I mean the lyrics???? "We must be swift as the coursing river With all the force of a great typhoon With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon" like WHO COMES UP WITH THAT?! And that's not even mentioning the fucking visuals okay? Like I genuinely believe it's the best training montage of all time (I haven't seen Rocky but my mom has and she said it's not as good. usually I wouldn't really trust her on these kinds of topics but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say she's right). I mean, the fucking visual of Mulan using her intelligence to climb up the pole and get the arrow, making everyone's training take a turn for the better? BEAUTIFUL! Also bisexual legend Lee Chang is shirtless during the entire thing 100/10.

Keeping it on the Mulan track, Reflection – the beautiful song that awakened something in EVERY queer kid (honestly tho I never really struggled with my queer identity that much so I actually relate to it more on an autistic level). Also THIS IS AN EDMUND SONG, I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES! 15/10. 

Then just, the entire Beauty and the Best soundtrack. It’s my favourite Disney movie of all time, it’s truly their magnum opus, and every song is a BOP. I relate to Belle so hard and she was also my first ever fictional crush at the age of 3. “Belle” is a great opening number that’s extremely musically effective since it serves both to establish the world and as an I want song. Belle (reprise) is just as great. Gaston is a great hilarious villain song that perfectly illustrates how the towns folk blindly love and follow Gaston AND how much of a fucking meme he is. Be Our Guest is grand and beautifully animated, and it serves to make us (and Belle) see the castle as home perfectly. Something There is just THE perfect song to illustrate growing romantic feelings. Beauty and the Beast is such a beautiful fucking love song I want to play it at my wedding! And The Mob Song has a Shakespeare reference in it, plus a lot of relevant as hell lyrics to its theme “We don't like what we don't understand, in fact it scares us And this monster is mysterious at least” what more could you want? honestly this entire song kinda reads like they’re going to kill a gay man or something, which makes sense since it was written by one, and it’s honestly terrifying through that perspective 20/10. 

I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) BASICALLY INVENTED MUSICAL THEATRE ITSELF HOLY SHIT! I fucking love to associate it with any ship that includes one of the characters being in denial (which is most of them). I’ve been listening to it a lot more lately since I put it on my meter playlist and it NEVER gets old. The muses trying to get Meg to say that she’s in love accommodated with her just refusing to admit it works soooo well. My favourite lyrics are “It's too cliche I won't say I'm in love” and “My head is screaming Get a grip girl Unless you're dying to cry your heart out” and “Face it like a grown-up When you gonna own up that you got got got it bad” and the ending part “At least out loud I won't say I'm in love” that one gets me every time. 20/10. 

Kiss the Girl is a fucking bop. I don’t have much else to say about it other than that. I hope my friends will sing it while trying to set me up with someone someday. 10/10.

I See the Light is such a wonderful love song and it always makes me think of Draco and Aria. Just the concept of finding your greater purpose through this person you never so coming, ah 😭😭😭. “You were my new Dream” “An you were mine” 10/10. 

I have a couple of songs where only the swedish version is special to me, and it’s all just cause memories with my dad from when I was little. So, idk you can listen to the swedish versions if you want even tho you won’t understand it (I mean you can just look up the English lyrics so that doesn’t really matter). Those are Thomas O’Malley, Ev'rybody Wants to Be a Cat (Alla Snubbar Vill Ju Vara Katt) and The Bear Necessities (Var Nöjd Med All Som Livet Ger). Me and my dad used to watch Aristocats all the time and his favourite character was Thomas O’Malley, so his love for the character and the song sort of seeped into me as well, and we both loved Alla Snubbar Vill Ju Vara Katt (I’m a cat person, what can I say?). We also watched The Jungle Book a lot and my dad was absolutely OBSESSED with Var Nöjd Med All Som Livet Ger. He sung it ALL THE TIME. I honestly think I’ve heard that song more than Let It Go. 15/10. 

Of course there’s a lot of other fantastic Disney songs out there (Hellfire and A Whole New World come to mind, I feel like they deserve an honourable mention) but these are just the ones that are more special to me personally. 

Also yes of course Reflection is a Henry song also but it’s just a given that if I relate anything to autism it also applies to Henry Mills

[bigskydreaming]

Hi! I’m confused on how to reconcile dick’s origins and his loving family with the haly’s circus is a tool of the court of owls info. How does dick’s childhood not become horrifying and fake if the court of owls were using the circus the whole time? Ppl that dick knew and friends with were probably evil right? Idk... have a great day, sorry for my rant lol-confused anon

Honestly, as many times as the circus comes up in canon, its very rarely been explored in detail so it really just depends on how you play it, I think. For me, the difference is complicitness. If the Court of Owls is heavily invested in Haly’s Circus and manipulates where they go and when and uses it as a training camp for their future assassins in a lot of ways, that unmistakably casts a pall over Dick’s childhood, it lends it a certain air of grim destiny....BUT that doesn’t have to equate to his childhood being a LIE....not if most of the people he loves and values from it were just genuinely good people who loved him and had no idea about the darker side of their circus. I think most of Haly’s performers had no clue, or don’t have to be portrayed as having one, and thus just because they were there, doesn’t mean they were complicit, and if they weren’t complicit, that’s what really matters when it comes to them.

That said, we know that numerous performers died young under mysterious circumstances, or disappeared when in their teens, and that these were the eventual Talons of the Court. BUT we also know that the Court wasn’t like....disappearing multiple performers at a time, and that the real secret of the Talons’ large numbers is their longevity and the fact that the Court had been doing this for a LONG time. So its not like Haly’s performers would have all been oblivious to a lot of their number just vanishing under mysterious circumstances, its more that the scarcity of it happening means it could very easily for a lot of the performers Dick knew as a child, been like, their own personal urban legend? Like, there’s an awareness that there’s something spooky or creepy associated with the circus, but not what exactly it is or why its that way, and there’s just enough deniability to it that for most performers, their personal reasons for staying with the circus outweighed the occasional reminder of this potentially creepy side of things, as a reason for them to leave.

I could easily see this playing into like, superstitions about Gotham in general, because performers who’d been with the circus their whole life or a long time or just had a stronger awareness of the disappearances in their history could’ve like, identified that these mysterious deaths or disappearances only seemed to happen when the circus went to Gotham, and like.....maybe there wasn’t enough info to know what it MEANT, exactly, or maybe some of them had connected some dots and had SUSPICIONS about it maybe having something to do with the creepy rhyme they heard when they were in Gotham once, about the Court of Owls, but without being sure who was safe to talk about this with, nobody ever really explored that idea in depth.....like, its one of those things where I feel like it could’ve been that the disappearances and ideas people had about what was behind them and all that, it was a Big Unsaid. Something that was present and there throughout the atmosphere of Haly’s at times, especially for older members of the troupes, but nobody really ever talked about it because just because they knew something was going on there doesn’t mean they knew what to SAY about it, or to whom....and these are the kinds of undercurrents that as a kid, Dick would likely have been oblivious to....or only aware of in hindsight. 

Like, I could see him years later reflecting on how now that he thought about it, the others always got weird and nervous about shows in Gotham or even the possibility of them, and nobody seemed to like Gotham for some reason, but he never knew WHY....and then when his parents were killed, that could have very easily slotted into just like....affirming that vague idea of ‘only bad things happen to the circus and its members when we come to Gotham’ without him ever consciously feeling a need to further explore that idea or awareness around Gotham....because on a gut level, it felt like he’d already gotten confirmation about something that he and the rest of his circus had always known as a kind of truism, even if they didn’t know why, y’know?

The only real sticking point in all this (well actually there’s two) is first of all, Haly and his family. We know they had some awareness of all this, and there was the Book of Names, and like, Haly and his grandfather knew about the Court in actuality rather than just theory, but its very doubtful that there was anything sinister to this knowledge on Haly’s side of things at least, and it seems pretty clear he was just a pawn operating under duress. That’s my take anyway, like, and it doesn’t make it OKAY for him not to have said or done more, but it makes it a tragedy rather than a betrayal, kinda? Like, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and though there’s things he could have said or done to defy the Court and their using the circus to draw their Talons from, he was probably painfully aware that any expression of defiance was going to simply get him and his loved ones killed as an object lesson to whomever they replaced him with, without much more than a slight hiccup in their plans.

And this is where being aware of the transformative power of fanfic and using it with INTENT rather than just going with the most utilized fanon tropes, like, is your best friend. Because thanks to all the gaps and superficiality in how a lot of this was touched on and dealt with in canon....you can make whatever you want out of it, all the more definitively if you know precisely what you want TO make out of it. 

For instance: do you want to preserve Dick’s memories of Haly as a kind, grandfatherly figure in his life, someone who would never have stood idly by and allowed the Court’s intended fate for him to happen? You can do that....by playing up the idea that Haly saw an opportunity come out of the tragedy of the Graysons’ death, to separate Dick from the circus, and thus the Court, like lean into the idea that he was all for notable public figure Bruce Wayne taking in Dick and thus keeping him in a new, bigger kind of spotlight the shadowy Court wouldn’t dare try and steal him from. Unless of course, he suspected that billionaire and old money Gothammite Bruce Wayne WAS a member of the Court, and that’s why he wanted to take Dick in, in the first place. Crap. Just thought of that, that’s an obstacle.

UNLESS unless! You have Haly trying all the more to get Dick to stay with them, at least until they’re out of Gotham again and he can end up in the CPS system of some other NON Gotham city, once Bruce does express an interest in taking in Dick, BECAUSE he thinks Bruce is a member of the Court, and so he’s so clearly afraid of Bruce for some reason that Bruce simply can’t reconcile with his own public image and can’t simply be simple fear of the upper class when Haly’s Circus is used to catering to such crowds and Haly’s always displayed an ability to navigate the currents of such shark-infested waters as the Circus’s ringmaster....no, this has to be something other than just public perceptions, Haly’s fear of Bruce and his intentions for Dick feels PERSONAL. 

Which perhaps makes Bruce come to Haly then as Batman, reassure him from that angle....which could in turn make Haly open up to him then and there about the Court and their obsession with the Gray Son, when he’s aware then that public figure Bruce Wayne isn’t a member of the Court and CAN offer the somewhat dubious (and double-edged) protection of that spotlight, AND at the same time, that he’s not some dumbass, but the Batman, with superhero connections and resources all his own that he can use to hunt the Court from the shadows and protect Dick that way too.

Thus giving Bruce forewarning about the threat of the Court (and hopefully Dick too, as I don’t think with this kind of storyline, keeping him in the dark his ENTIRE childhood would be fair or a good idea, even if it is understandable, like, there’s different ways to play this, but that seems doomed to backfire if that’s the road taken there).

Another thought about Robin and his bright colors and impossible-to-deny presence here though, actually.....what if part of why Bruce allowed Dick to be Robin at all was because it enabled him to kinda....extend the public spotlight Dick was in, as a barrier against the Court taking him....to more than just their civilian personas? Like, if Bruce KNOWS that Dick never had even the possibility of a normal life because even without him coming into his life, the Court was always going to be there, waiting for an opportunity to claim him.....then training him as Robin, giving him field experience as Robin, suddenly takes on a WHOLE different perspective as its Bruce actively giving him the tools to protect himself from an extremely SPECIFIC threat and fate....one that could strike at any time, one that wasn’t guaranteed to wait until Dick was an adult to try and take him so Bruce felt he couldn’t afford to wait until he was older to try and prepare him to be able to fight back, if they ever did come for him. Plus, as Robin, he was a BRIGHT figure in ways that are completely contrary to Bruce’s early start as an urban legend himself, something that could just as easily not exist as exist as rumored. From the moment Robin was a confirmed quantity, however, people were going to notice when and if he disappeared.....thus making it all the more impossible for the Court to quietly disappear Dick Grayson or Robin, without the rest of the hero community noticing too.

Of course, then you have to reconcile this with Bruce firing Dick as Robin....but there’s ways to do that too. *Shrugs* Just musing as I go here, tbh.

Or you can take the road I’ve dabbled with few times, the idea that a big part of why Dick ended up in juvie in that origin, could fanfic-wise be explained by connecting that backstory to the New 52 presence of the Court, and mashing them together so that the Court actually pulled strings after the Graysons’ death to get their Gray Son placed there until ‘they were ready for him’ and in the process wean him away from the morals his parents instilled in him and hone his willingness to fight and even potentially kill, by placing him in a pressure-cooker of an environment aimed at making him into a weapon. But the point here, is this is another more concrete way that Bruce could have even unknowingly thrown a wrench into their plans, by encountering him when he escaped from juvie (something the Court might not have been expecting, having underestimated him) and this leading to him taking Dick in himself, no longer trusting the city or the system to do the job they’d promised to do when they claimed to be taking Dick away from the circus for his own good. 

Here, even without knowing about the Court or its plans, you can lean into the idea that Bruce steered Dick away from their intentions for him simply by being a source and a reminder of kindness and kind people. Kinda play up the theme that rather than grow up to be their greatest asset, Dick grew up to be their greatest enemy instead, all due to the introduction of the one variable the Court hadn’t accounted for when trying to forge their ideal weapon....the kindness of a stranger.

My point with both these directions is.....even with the Court having a hand in Haly’s Circus and thus Dick’s childhood, that doesn’t HAVE to make Dick’s childhood, or his destiny, inherently a tragedy, because despite all the Talon fics out there, the fact remains that in canon, in the main timeline....Dick’s never actually ever been a Talon....he exists, much like he’s always aimed to exist....as a defiance of expectations, of determinism, of a fated destiny. And thus he embodies something he’s embraced over and over again, the idea that only he truly gets to decide who and what he is.....and by utilizing one of the above ideas in his backstory, you can put Haly or Bruce or both firmly on HIS side, and give them active roles in giving him the tools he needs to subvert the Court’s destiny for himself, and choose his own path.

So, ultimately IMO, the Court’s connection to Dick’s past really is just one more way in which his story can be what its always been....that of retaining his core self even in the face of tragedies, making a triumph out of resisting the world (or specific people in it)’s attempts to make him other than a hero.

(The other sticking point I mentioned, aside from Haly, is one I’ve never really been able to reconcile myself, because it relies so much on the ages DC tried to force down our throat with the New 52, and to which I say NAY, NAY DC, DICK GRAYSON WAS NOT SIXTEEN WHEN HE MET BRUCE WAYNE, THIS IS NOT A JOEL SCHUMACHER PRODUCTION AND YOU DON’T HAVE THAT WACKY AND INEXPLICABLE CHARM.

And that’s the presence of other acrobats who aren’t part of the Flying Grayson family act, like Raya and Raymond, who we ultimately see as being very aware of the Court of Owls by the time Dick becomes aware of them. And like. There’s a lot going on there, and I don’t entirely know how to make it work but largely because I’ve never been all that inclined or inspired to try, so I mostly just let that be, and lift elements of the Court of Owls and transplant them into and over pre-Flashpoint continuity, which I prefer overall anyway).

[jungle321jungle]

One Shots Master List

Full List of My Sanders Sides One Shots

Masterlist

Forms of Family/Dad Deceit Oneshots

Forms of Family does not need to be read first

Forge My Heart

The Crown Prince ordered a sword from the blacksmith. He got more than he expected.

Follow The Leader (Ao3 Only)

Virgil is late for his final, helping lost kids makes him later.

Perfect Reflection

He had noticed the him in the mirror. He was scared of the him in the mirror. So he made a deal- he made friends with the him in the mirror.

(Unsympathetic Janus)

Blood Letters

Writing letters which are not meant to be sent can be therapeutic, at least that is what people claim. Logan thinks it is to an extent, but he finds the subject matter of the letters to be of far more consequence.

Or, Logan dreams about murder.

How I Long For Things To Be Restored

When Logan begins going to the old house on the end of Wendon Way, he doesn’t expect to meet the little boy who also frequents there. Nor does he expect to learn the forgotten secrets of the home.

The Benefit Of The Doubt

Patton has always tried his best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. He didn’t want to judge others too quickly, as there was always some good in other people. But when the subject came to Remus’ room... he couldn’t help but cringe at the thought of it.

The Opposite Of Six Feet Under

Virgil had always been able to know when people were going to die- with the date of their death floating above their heads it wasn’t exactly hard to tell. And upon contact he could always tell how they’d die too, at least he could. Until he met the one man who should already be dead.

A Plus One (DLAMP)

Dee needs a date to an office party cause he kinda sorta told Remy he had one.

So he asks a friend to go with.

Or friends...

Sleeping in Shoes

Logan wasn’t entirely sure when Virgil had developed his habit of sleepwalking, but after the first time he had climbed out of bed and tripped over the sleeping body laying on his floor, he had learned to lock his door.

The others hadn’t.

Play Your Cards Right 

With a strange group such as theirs on a vacation in Las Vegas of all places Virgil could practically list everything that could go wrong.

His boyfriend marrying his roommate was not on that list.

Different Kinds of Beauty (Lociet)

The Taste of Regret

Words have a flavor, and words of regret taste disgusting.

One is Two, Two is One (Two is Two)

He was alone. So he split.

He’s not sure who is first and who is second or if theres an order at all, but it wasn’t supposed to matter anyway.

Because two wasn’t- two shouldn't be alone.

~~~~

A very different take on the twin’s split.

Watching The Crash

Roman freezes when his precious car gets destroyed.

~~~~ aka Roman is a dramatic child

Ticklish Torture

Long Lost Roman Jr.

A missing teddy bear

KFM

The boys play KFM.

Burned and Blackmailed

Janus just wants assurances.

Favorites

Roman and Remus just want to know the answer to their question. Janus doesn't want to answer.

Craft Time Experiments

Remus’ experiment doesn’t go the way he planned.

Locked Away By The Monster

The Kids Play A Game

Change You Like A Remix (Ao3 Only)

They say that ghosts are created when one dies. They say that those ghosts can be called forth when their favorite song is played. They say that if its done properly, within the correct amount of them since the deceased has been buried, that song can call their soul back to their bodies.

It's an old ancient idea, Roman knows, but holding his brother's old MP3 player in his hand, lying on top of Remus's still fresh grave in the middle of the rain makes him realize he has nothing left to loose anymore really. At least one of these songs has gotta be the one that Remus loves more than anything.

At least one of them has gotta be able to bring him back so Roman and apologize for getting him killed like that.

((Who cares if the Remus that comes back is a little weirder than the one he buried? A little more violent? A little less worried about self injuries? A little hungrier?))

(written with  amybri2002)

Your Words Fill The Space Between Us

The published letters that detail the romance that changed the kingdom.

~~~~

Aka Roman and Janus send each other letters

A Kiss On A Silver Ring

Virgil’s parents had told him that the mysterious ring would bring him happiness and a better life. What they had failed to mention was that it was a symbol of Virgil’s betrothal to the too-attractive-for-his-own-good Duke of the North. And while he certainly would’ve liked some warning, he’s not gonna turn down this offer… entirely.

~~~~

Based off the wonderful art by @shadowling-guistical for the tss fanwork collective's april mini bang

Laughing All The Way To the Furniture Store

Idiom: Laughing all the way to the bank: 

Meaning: To be profiting or benefiting from something that is regarded by others as frivolous, stupid, or somehow objectionable.

Aka Remus robs a bank. 

I Don't Know How To Mend The Heart, But You Can Speak Your Mind

There were many fears new parents had, but quite frankly Virgil’s list of fears was ten times longer than most. And yet somehow he still knew Janus’ list was longer than his. But he didn’t know what he could do other than listen, and be present. So for now, he would hold Janus tight and whisper words that likely fell on deaf ears. Just as long as he could do something... as long as he could do something.

aka Janus is dealing with grief, and Virgil tries to help

[gcldenharvey]

“The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly” - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

The Basics:

Name: Harvard Hargrove III

Nicknames: Harvey, Harv, Goldie, Veevee

Age: 19

Birthday: March 31st, 1979

Gender: Cis man

Pronouns: He/him/his

Sexuality: Straight

Major: Business

Former school: UCLA

Job: N/A, his dad still completely supports Harvey financially

Faceclaim: Jacob Elordi

Personality Positives: Magnetic, extroverted, athletic

Personality Negative: Wrathful, duplicitous, destructive

About:

YOU'RE THE GUY EVERYONE WANTS TO BE. QUARTERBACK, POPULAR KID. THE FACADE LOOKS PERFECT ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT INSIDE YOU'RE CRUMBLING. YOU'RE GETTING ANGRY AT THE WORLD IN A WAY THAT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE. YOU GO OUT LATE AT NIGHT LOOKING FOR FIGHTS; CRAVING THE FEELING OF GETTING YOUR FISTS WET WITH BLOOD, BUT YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO HIDE THAT PART OF YOURSELF FROM EVERYONE AROUND YOU. YOUR FATHER GROWS MORE DISAPPOINTED BY THE MINUTE, AND EVERY SINGLE DAY YOU THINK ABOUT RUNNING AWAY. BUT NOW THAT EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS BACK IN TOWN, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO LEAVE? YOU AND LUX WERE CHILDHOOD NEIGHBORS. YOU GREW UP MAKING MUD PIES, AND SNEAKING OUT TO PARTIES TOGETHER. LOOKING IN THROUGH HER BEDROOM WINDOW GETS HARDER EVERY SINGLE DAY. YOU KNEW SHE WASN'T PERFECT, BUT YOU WERE OKAY WITH THAT... NOBODY IS PERFECT. BUT SOMETIMES YOU WONDER IF YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW THAT SIDE OF HER. YOU KIND OF HOPE YOU WERE.

Secrets:

The Small Stuff: At UCLA, Harvey found his way into an underground fight club, which he quickly grew to adore. Rising through the ranks with remarkable speed, Harvey learned that the best way to stop someone looking at you funny is to make sure he can’t see straight. Now, back in Cherry, his entire body itches for a fight he can’t find a release for.

The Big Stuff: YOU WERE ARRESTED FOR AGGRAVATED ASSAULT AT YOUR LAST COLLEGE, AND SHOULD HAVE FACED JAIL TIME. THANKS TO YOUR FATHER'S MONEY, THE PROBLEM WAS HIDDEN IN THE SHADOWS AND YOU WERE ALLOWED TO QUIETLY TRANSFER... BUT YOU KNOW IT CAN'T BE THAT SIMPLE. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN THE GANG WHO WAS PLANNING TO COME BACK TO CHERRY ANYWAY, BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE. IF EVEN ONE PERSON FOUND OUT ABOUT WHAT YOU AND YOUR FATHER DID, IT WOULD END YOUR CAREER BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED, AND COST YOUR FATHER HIS OWN. AKA, YOU WOULD BOTH BE ROYALLY FUUUUUUUCKED. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT NOBODY WOULD EVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME.

The Interview:

“HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW THAT EVERYONE IS BACK IN CHERRY?”

The grin that stretched across Harvey’s face was wide and bright and he leaned forward in the chair, that one too-short leg of it rocking forward to hit the ground as Harvey leaned forwards towards Clarissa. Only someone that knew the boy well would have caught the tension running along the sides of his eyes that pulled on the smile, making it appear just a touch brittle. “Oh it’s great,” Harvey said, voice carrying easily through the small room. “This is where we all came from, this is what made us all who we are and now…” Harvey trailed off, swallowing around a lump in his throat. The smile had faded entirely but with effort, Harvey managed to bring it back, though it was a pale shadow of its original form. “With Lux gone, I think we’re going to need each other. Or, well, most of each other. There are some people I could have gone my entire life without seeing again!” A light laugh punctuated that statement, but the creak of wood underneath Harvey’s hands as they gripped the wooden arm of the chair with a white-knuckled tension spoke louder than the laughter.

He consciously relaxed his hand, before bringing it over to smooth down a non-existent wrinkle in his pants. He knew coming here without a drink or three was a bad idea. Harvey didn’t think about the bags that had remained unpacked since he had gotten back to town that now lay scattered along his dorm room like soldiers on a battlefield, quietly saying that tomorrow, surely, he would leave. He didn’t think about the ever-growing hole in the plaster he was hiding in his closet. It had formed when he heard the news, that everyone, everyone minus Lux was back, for better or for worse. The worse, Harvey had reflected in those rare moments of peace that he only ever found in the moments after a punch was thrown, seemed far more likely, given the fucking bullshit of the past few years. No, Harvey didn’t think about any of this, and just smiled at Clarissa instead. “It’s definitely going to be interesting.” And that was the most honest thing he had said thus far.

“WHERE DO YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR FREE TIME?”

“Well,” Harvey began, leaning towards Clarissa with an expression well-known in town forming across his face. It was the look he got when he was flirting and was supposed to make him look mysterious and yet approachable. Whether or not it actually did that, Harvey had no idea. No one had ever bothered to tell him. It seemed to work often enough for him to believe it had some validity. “If you’re wondering where you might find me for a bit of fun, you can always check the track. I’m usually there in the mornings before class. If that doesn’t work, you can probably find me on the beach, or at the best party in town.” He winked. “I know how to have a good time. If you’re ever looking for one, hit me up.”

That all was true. Harvey wasn’t in the habit of lying to beautiful women, after all. Not if it meant some fun could be had in the future. Lying about everything else? Yeah, sure, that’s fair game, but not that. It just fit too well with the rest of how people expected Harvey to be for him to not take full advantage. Plus, it was fun. But even though it might have been true, that didn’t make it fully honest. Harvey would never tell anyone, though, just how much time he spent in The Pit, or how the sounds of The Garage provided a steady pounding noise that focused Harvey like nothing else as he hung around it hoping to one day ask for a job. But that wasn’t the charming athletic party boy his father had told him to become, or else, and so those places, the places that saw more of Harvey than anywhere else, remained a secret.

“WOULD YOU CALL YOURSELF POPULAR?

It was the first genuine sound Harvey thought he had made during the entire time he had been in that room, and it punctured the air like a pin through a balloon. “I wouldn’t go that far,” Harvey hedged, using his hands to make his point, “I don’t exactly have a huge friend group and there’s a few people in town now that I’m pretty damn sure aren’t my biggest fan.” Harvey shrugged with one shoulder, the hand of the other going up to scratch behind his ear in a nervous gesture he never quite managed to break. “But yeah, I guess, if you wanted to, you could call me that. I was quarterback, you know, and definitely never had problems getting any dates to the dances. If that’s all popularity is, then I guess you could call me a popular kind of guy.”

They never ask what all that costs, Harvey reflected. The thought sent a bolt of fury, bright and true like lightning, straight through his body into his gut. He shifted slightly in the chair which rocked with the movement. Harvey shifted again and it rocked back. He decided not to move again any time soon. The noise of it made that burning in his chest that much stronger and he could feel his jaw clenching with the effort it took to appear unaffected. Not for the first time, Harvey thanked his lucky stars he had as much practice with that as he did. He also cursed them in equal measure, for forcing his shoulders to learn to carry that weight without crumbling. But what was it that Dad always said? ‘No one expects you to change anything, Harvey. All we ask you to do is soldier through to the other side’? Words to live by, apparently. He couldn’t stop the snort that escaped at that thought, but he waved off Clarissa’s curious look. “Sorry. Old joke from the locker room. Nothing you’d want to hear.”

“DO YOU REALLY THINK LUX KILLED HERSELF? ”

“I do.” The words came easily, without thought. Harvey knew he had thought about this a lot, considered it while laying in bed or while driving to the next party. It forced its way into nearly every moment of his life, and though he had done his best to drown it out, Harvey hadn’t managed to yet. “I lived next door to her, right? Our bedrooms were right across from each other and I knew she wasn’t perfect. I think she knew I wasn’t perfect either. But I saw things, overheard things.” He shrugged again, this time with both shoulders. “It wasn’t easy on her and I think she just took the fastest way out she could.” The smile that came across Harvey’s face now was tinged in heartbreak and the weights he felt ties to his shoulders every day. “I kinda get why she did it, too. There’s only so long you can tread water before your arms and legs just give out and you drown.” He shifted backwards and the chair moved with him. “I’ve seen it happen. I’ve had it happen.”

Headcanons:

While Harvey is majoring in business, this is entirely because this is what his father expected of him, and as he’s spent his entire life living up to those expectations, it seemed easier, at the time, to just go along with it. He doesn’t like it though.

That old muscle car Harvey drives is the last thing he has of his mother, who died when he was seven. She willed that car to him and he treats it better than he treats some people. It is his most prized possession.

Harvey knows that in order to leave town like he desperately wants, he needs a job to get his own money. But getting a job would lead to questions from his father, from people around town, everyone. He can’t have that. Harvey has a reputation to maintain after all, and so he feels as if he’s in a form of limbo right now.

Lux and Harvey used to sneak out through their bedroom windows, sometimes helping the other get across the roof or down onto the pavement below. Harvey fondly remembers those times, how it all felt like a secret he was in on that no one else knew about. There was a unity in it, an understanding that they were both running away from something. Now that Harvey wants to leave Cherry for real, he almost feels an obligation to do it for Lux.

The man is heterosexual, almost to a fault. He has absolutely forgotten to attend get-togethers with friends or to finish up homework in favor of a date with a beautiful woman.

His favorite subject in high school, much to the surprise of all that knew him, was English. He really enjoyed discussing the books. Writing the papers, however, was a real drag and his work never really reflected his understanding of the material. This only lead more to the perpetuation of the “dumb jock” stereotype as he talked a lot but got horrible grades. Despite this, he bought a copy of every book they read and kept them.

Harvey’s favorite kinds of movies are action-comedies. His favorite movie is Ghostbusters but he has a secret soft-spot for movies like The Dead Poet’s Society and Sixteen Candles. He would, however, break the nose of anyone that shared this piece of information.

He failed his driver’s test three different times because he kept blowing through red lights.

He is allergic to strawberries. This was discovered back in Kindergarten with a snack that had strawberry jam. It caused his throat to swell up and for him to be sent to the hospital. This was the first time Harvey was at the center of the school’s focus but it wouldn’t be the last. Harvey grew to love the idea of being at the focus of everything and turned to sports to fulfill that desire.

Pinterest

[0poole]

Soul

Breaking news, everyone: Pixar made another slapper.

I’m gonna get it out of the way first, but the only (and yes, only. Not like someone trying to say “only” even though they have many more nitpicks that they just don’t want to talk about) problem I had at all was that the super high realism of the settings of Earth kind of made the more cartoony faces of the people look a little more off. But, it’s kinda like the same thing people were talking about with that cat in Toy Story 4. It looks super real, which is impressive, but I feel like it was almost too real compared to the faces. Obviously it was too real compared to the supernatural settings because that was intentional, but yeah. It’s not even a big problem, it’s just the only one I can think of. I do think the realistic renderings of hair, light, water, etc at least work with cartoony stuff, but apart from that it looked almost like it could’ve been a photograph, with no exaggeration in the buildings or anything else.

I mean, I love the faces, so I definitely wish they went the extra mile showing extra personality and character in the buildings, as faces do with characters. Considering the faces matter like a bazillion times more, I still think they knocked it out of the park on the visuals. People with more investment and knowledge into the topic already said that the faces of any of the people of color felt cartoony and unique while also being true to life and respectful (My family recently stumbled onto some old animations from the 30s and lemme tell ya... We’ve come a long way), but seriously the characters that sold me on the visuals were the Picasso-esque beings who may or may not be the Gods of the universe maybe?

Spoiler boundary of course. It’s definitely worth a watch.

And that’s honestly what made the realistic world so much better. When the accountant guy went into the real world to set the count right, it was one of the most fun I’ve had just watching something. The sheer contrast between him and the world was so much fun, and it even solidified that those beings weren’t even acting in a different dimension or anything. They’re literally just beings that exist, meaning that all the other parts with the unborn souls and such are just as real as Earth. Or, even better, they’re the ones who can just casually rip a hole in dimensions. As far as depictions of Gods go, if they are even Gods at all, I think they’re one of the best I’ve ever seen. They feel like they could actually be how Gods actually exist, since all the commonalities of Gods involve supernatural power, which would suggest they’re supernatural themselves. I mean, I have a story with Gods in it too and they’re basically just that although admittedly a lot less imaginative.

With those guys being my favorite design, second place definitely goes to the lost souls, although obviously for more subjective reasons. 1) They’re purple, 2) They have one eye, 3) That eye is yellow which I always think is the best compliment to purple, 4) Tentacles, 5) Creepy in a kid’s movie. Franky, I would’ve made them a lot creepier, but even then they’re super creepy, if not visually then in their behavior. They’d just be kind of sad if they were just mumbling around, but since the first introduction to them starts charging at the main characters like a deranged monster. Considering how weird everything in that dimension is, finding something that isn’t nearly as innocent as everything else instantly invokes fear, since you have no idea what that thing can and wants to do to you. Sort of similar, I would’ve also made the “In the Zone” moments a bit more crazy and colorful, like when Joe fell through the void between the road to the Great Beyond and the You-seminar (is that how it’s spelled?), but these “I would do it differently”s might just be a fault of my design ideas or just subjective interests. I would’ve watched 2 hours of pure, nonsensical abstract worlds like the You-seminar with no explanation to how they work.

I definitely have a relief with the story, mostly entirely revolving around 22′s character. I was kind of worried she’d be too childish to really enjoy, but I feel like she was done really well. All the major historical figures’ remarks on how hopeless she were both funny and also really tied into her character “flaw” at the end as she was a lost soul. It might not be the most unique character archetype of all time, but it definitely makes sense, with all the people bringing her down implanting in her mind that she was an anomaly, and after a while was just sort of following it. Plus, she seemed genuinely interested in Joe’s weirdness, instead of being super mindlessly irreverent. And her being able to expand Joe’s understanding about his own world, like with the barber and his student, brings her up as more than a whiny, bratty child in the scope of the story. She didn’t JUST learn.

Even though I kind of expected it from the get-go, I’m also relieved that the movie didn’t shy away as much with the dark elements of death. It was kind of suggested that this wasn’t going to be a perfectly casual romp through a magical afterlife like Inside Out was with the mind because of the unborn souls unabashedly saying “Hell” in the TRAILER of the movie. I feel like that alone made the story super interesting, because it shows they’re actually going to be a bit more serious with things instead of just simplifying the unknowable complexities of the before & afterlife. Even with the dead souls going into the Great Beyond, it was a mix of being weirdly peaceful for some and super scary for others. My family thought it was peaceful for the most part, but my mom specifically though it was terrifying, and even though it’s a lot more peaceful than almost all other depictions of death, I can’t blame her. The souls were just kinda accepting it, like they’d been brainwashed or something, but still acknowledged that they were dead and were going into the afterlife. Plus, Joe, being the main character who we are supposed to sort of reflect in a way, was super freaked out by it, so that could easily suggest it’s to be afraid of and the other people are the weird ones.

I think the true message of the story being so strange was better too, because it would’ve been so boring if it fell into a super basic message we’ve heard millions of times. I feel like it has a similar sentiment to the basic messages, but is at least a more interesting way of saying it, if it is even like that in the first place, because it’s also somewhat vague in a good way. I think my brother/mother misinterpreted and simplified things a bit too much, where they thought it was sort of like a happier way of saying “accept your lot in life and don’t change it.” I could probably go on a full other rant about why I think this is wrong, but part of it is I don’t really know how they came to this conclusion in the first place, considering with that scene with that guy who threw the computers off his desk as his lost soul was cured (I guess you could call it that?), who obviously realized he wasn’t okay with his lot in life and was destined to change it. I think they sort of misinterpreted “the spark” and other things it as a 100% for-real, this-is-how-the-real-world-works sort of way, and not as much as a fictional way of saying things. Not necessarily symbolic, but I guess symbolic also? It has some of the same weird logical problems as the Cutie Marks from My Little Pony, except they’re obviously better since Cutie Marks determine your life down to your very job some of the time, while “sparks” are more vague and seemingly up to you. They’re more like when an unborn soul realizes there’s something on Earth they want to figure out, not necessarily their hobbies or jobs. For example, they kind of cited the barber character as the one who supported their point, but I think he does the complete opposite. He wanted to be a vet, but he ended up being a barber. But, they sort of assumed his “spark” was to be a barber, and that his personal interests didn’t matter because the “spark” forced him into a less favorable job. But, in reality, I feel like his “spark” is more his interest in love for the people around him, which is why he decided to get a more practical job to support his daughter (wife? one of the two) when he really needed to. Plus, he still enjoys being a barber because his devotion to love lets him connect to people as he cuts their hair. After all, he seems to be succeeding in his goal, since Joe was just like “Hey, let’s go see this guy he’s the exact guy we need!” People who don’t show love and interest for others don’t make that kind of impression in people’s minds. I feel like if we knew each story of everyone’s life down to the last detail we could fully determine what the mechanics of the world and its people are meant to say from a fictional context, but with such a limited selection I don’t think you can say something so sure. Sure, every choice in a movie is made specifically for a purpose, but I feel like if a movie tries to hard to be like “Oh but don’t worry here’s an exception” a million times it gets bogged down by its own attempt to make the message as obvious as possible.

Anyway...

There are also a lot of neat little details I loved, like how even though they did this for basically no other point in the movie, they made sure to include people from all around the world in that mess of dead souls, firmly sort of putting in the idea that the entire globe is in a sense one single entity that leads to the same place. They could’ve so easily just made everyone speak English for that throwaway scene, but I feel like including people from all around the world was very beneficial. Even the EXTRA little things, like the path to the Great Beyond looking like the neck portion of a guitar with the metal bits that separate the notes, or the facial features of the Gods blurring when they turned their heads in the other direction.

But yeah, who would’ve guessed Pixar made another good movie, right? Even then, Soul’s in the upper echelon of Pixar films. I really hope they (and Disney) realize they can go bonkers with a movie and still benefit/survive from it, since they’re so damn rich and inherently profitable. I think AAA animated movies like this that are the perfect amount of artsy are few and far between, and we need more of them. If anything, I hope they get more artsy, but I guess I’ll still never say no to a fun fantastical romp either. Basically, Pixar has looped me into watching any and everything they produce because it’s never “bad” I think. In the grand scheme of quality, even their worst work (Cars 2) is still not “terrible,” per se, even if it feels like it exists more as a cash grab than a genuine tale.

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

[flyingcookierambles]

hm reflection on afterl!fe?

i feel a bit sad that the game got shut down so young. like. super young. it was only about 4 or 5 months old i think? it was just. wow. up to that point i’ve never seen a gacha go down so fast. im not sure if it was mainly due to the pandemic or not, but im sure that the pandemic didn’t help at all.

but also to be totally honest i. couldn’t get into the game. and i think the reason is how they introduced the characters. which is to say that they didn’t really? 

sure the story started with you starting off as a manager of a soul reaper class/dorm/ its been months so i honestly forget? the boys are there and you go on your first mission with them (it was also their first mission i believe?). the main cast has 20 boys. they’re all introduced to you at once. it. a lot. or, it was a lot for me at least. i feel like i might’ve gotten more into it if it did something like A3! did with introducing all the characters troupe by troupe so that you only got 5 new guys 4 times. plus the 4 or 5 other mankai members (ken, matsukawa, yuzo, etc.), plus the god troupe (only 2 guys) got introduced gradually and in small amounts at the first act. and then, recently since A3! English got to Act 2, we have 4 more new characters, the rookies. again, they were introduced gradually and we had a 30-34-ish chapter episode to learn about the new guys of each troupe in Act 1. so, even tho A3! total character count is larger than After L!fe, I didn’t feel overwhelmed. And maybe After L1fe didn’t have to have entire episodes to have whole character arcs for the boys, but i do feel like having the player character/manager have 2 or 3 short chapters of interacting exclusively with only one reaper team rather than tossing all 20 characters at you at once would’ve helped me not feel overwhelmed. 

i think that the sense of being overwhelmed like something is just too much is also what prevents me from, or at least makes me really really procrastinate, another gacha game, GranBlue Fantasy. Unlike After L!fe, GBF is actually 6 years or so now, has 100+ characters, and about 1000+ main story chapters. its ridiculous. by logic, as a person who knows that there’s games that have even more stuff going on, i should not have felt the feeling on a new baby game with a small manageable cast was too much, but i did. and so the game just ended up sitting in my phone storage until i decided to delete it in favor of having more space for my other gacha games and apps.

and i felt a bit bad because i wanted to like after l!fe. it has a cool supernatural concept that i feel like not a lot of other fantasy gacha have tried, i feel like a lot of other fantasy gacha is more traditional LOTR/living people-fantasy (gbf, dragalia, etc. the art was nice and the app was fast. (i did get a bit lost in the menus tho, what the heck was that....)

for people that did actually get into the game, i do hope that the company can make a comeback or something someday so you can play it again. i also never got into the main story due to *gestures vaguely above*, but i heard that it was really good and there was some giant cool plot twist at the end of where the main story ended before the game shut down and now im kinda really curious about it. is there at least a wiki or summary i can read of the main story?

[cadence-talle]

write livvy and della

hey, grace. how’re you doing?

Snapshots

Pairing: Della Vacker/Livvy Rothsdell

Wordcount: 2,875 

Other notes: Hopping on the Dellivvy train with this oddly-paced mess. It jumps around a bit, so be sure to read the headings before each scene! (I also have a timeline if you need it.)

Thirteen years after, thirty-one years before.

Della is married on a hot summer day, under a pearly arch. Her dress is spun lace, her flowers are delicate and white, and her fiance looks perfectly handsome. Della is so happy she could burst. 

Even the sudden outburst at the entrance to the garden, Dame Alina shouting about how she deserves Alden, can’t shake Della. She feels like she’s floating, like she could lift mountains right now without breaking a sweat. 

Alden takes her hands in his as the ceremony comes to a close, smiling at her. Over his shoulder, Della can’t help herself from glancing back at the audience, at the empty seat practically shouting at her. In the sea of tearfully smiling faces, it sticks out like a beacon. Something twists in her gut.

Della tears her attention away and focuses back on her new husband. This is what you want, she reminds herself. This is what you’ve always wanted. 

She pushes down the strange emotion building in her chest and pastes a smile on her face just in time to say, 

“I do.”

-/-

Six years after, thirty-eight years before. 

“Are you going to the Commencement Ball?” Della asks. It’s the biggest Foxfire event every year- a dance, for all those students moving up to the elite levels. She’s been excited for it for months. 

Livvy snorts from where she’s sprawled across Della’s bed, doing homework. “Can’t, remember? I’m not going into the Towers.”

“Oh, right.” Della flushes- she can’t believe she forgot. Livvy’s trying to hide it, but she’s upset she couldn’t go on to the Elite Levels, annoyed at herself for being Talentless. “Well, do you want to?”

“Does it matter?” Livvy asks. “I won’t be allowed to go either way.”

“You could come as my plus-one,” Della says before she can think. Livvy’s head snaps up, and she stares at Della. 

“For real? I thought you’d bring your boyfriend.” 

Della shrugs. “I think I’m going to break up with Caton, actually. And you’re more important anyway.”

“But-” Livvy sits up, waving a hand in the air. “Won’t people talk?”

“People will talk no matter what I do,” Della says. “Besides, it’s not even that incriminating. We’re just going as friends.”

“Friends,” Livvy echoes. “Right.” She offers a small smile. “All right. That sounds kinda fun, actually. I’ll go.”

Della grins. “Great.”

Two weeks later, they walk into Foxfire side by side. 

-/-

Ten years after, thirty-four years before. 

“Whoa.” 

Livvy glances around the large room, the tiny lights hanging on the walls reflecting in her eyes. She grins at Della, tiny name tag (Livvy Rothsdell, Guest) hanging off her dress. “This place looks awesome.” 

Della laughs, shrugging one shoulder up. “The gnomes did a great job. I’m still a little nervous, though.”

Livvy grabs her hand. “You’ll do fine. It’s just talking to people, right? You’ve been good at that your whole life.”

“I guess. I just- I wish I could do this later.”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure your parents are going to blow a fuse if you push this off again. They’re already worried to death about your ‘prospects.’”

Della gives a tiny smile. Livvy holds up their entwined hands. “And I’m here, okay? I’ll be here the whole time.”

“Thank you,” Della whispers, and the doors swing open. 

Della makes her rounds of the room, greeting people and making small talk. Livvy’s always there, hovering on the edges of the conversation, ready to pull Della out if she starts panicking. It’s actually not as bad as Della was expecting- she knows almost everyone there.

 She’s met almost everyone in the room when a man comes up (Alden Falaichte, #256, the nametag supplies), and sweeps into a low bow, kissing her hand. 

“Nice to meet you,” Della says. Alden gives her a charming smile. 

“The pleasure is all mine,” he responds. 

Looking back on it, that’s where everything went wrong. 

-/-

Fourteen years after, thirty years before. 

She’s surprised at how quickly Alvar arrives. They’ve been married barely six months before she gets pregnant, only a year when their son is born. Holding him is like looking into the sun- bright, warm, but somehow foreboding. 

Later, Della will know that it’s because that was the moment she knew she couldn’t get out. 

She keeps her soft smile and leans into Alden as the painter drags his brush across the canvas, memorializing this great feat. The three of them are a family now; a real one. One that will be looked up to, the newest branch of the great Vacker family. 

“It’s beautiful,” she says, looking at the finished painting on the wall later. The painter’s managed to capture all the details- the perfect color of Alden’s eyes, the tiny curls in Alvar’s hair, Della’s quirk at the corner of her mouth. It’s a picture-perfect family, an enclosed biosphere that will be put on a pedestal. Della’s been standing on that pedestal her entire life.

She asked Alden once, before they were married, if he was all right with all the attention. 

“It’s a lot,” she said, twisting a lock of hair around her finger. “People are looking at you, talking about you, all the time. It can be exhausting sometimes. I understand if you don’t want-”

“Della.” Alden tilted her chin up slightly, smiling. “This is all I’ve ever wanted.”

Della smiled. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she whispers, tracing the edges of the painting.

Somewhere, off in another room, Alvar starts to cry. 

-/-

Forty-one years after, three years before.

Della paces nervously back and forth across the carpeted floor of Fitz’s room, glancing back at the bed in which her son lies. He’s still unconscious, the venom slowly spiderwebbing its way across his chest. She shivers. 

The door flies open, and a tall woman in a gem-studded mask runs in. Della freezes. 

“Liv?” she whispers. It’s been years, but she’d recognize her old best friend anywhere. Even with a mask on. Livvy meets her eyes. 

“Hey,” she says sheepishly. “Heard you were here.”

“What are you doing here?” Della asks. “Since when are you a member of the Black Swan?”

Livvy shrugs, a gesture so familiar Della knows it like the back of her own hand. “I have been for a while, actually. Almost sixteen years.”

“Why didn’t I know?”

“We weren’t really talking when I joined.”

And that’s when it hits Della. She didn’t know Livvy had joined the Black Swan because she didn’t know Livvy anymore back then, still doesn’t know her anymore. She’s struck with a sense of longing, of missing what they used to have. 

But it wasn’t you, she thinks. It was Livvy. She broke things off, not you. “How’s Quinlin?” she asks as Livvy opens a bag and starts pulling out elixirs. 

“Oh, we filed a match fail,” Livvy says offhandedly. “Things didn’t work out.”

“I’m- sorry?” Della responds awkwardly. Livvy shrugs.

“Eh, you know. I only really married him because of you and Alden, you know? We didn’t really have much in common at the end of the day. I couldn’t talk to him, not like I can talk to you.” She pauses, tapping a fingernail against a glass bottle. “Could talk to you.”

Della flinches. “I think I’m going to wait outside,” she says, moving towards the exit. “Tell me if you need anything.”

“Goodbye,” Livvy murmurs, almost too low to hear. “I never got to say that.”

Della closes the door. 

-/-

Three years after, forty-one years before.

“And I swear, if one more person asks me how we became friends, I’m going to steal their kneecaps.”

Della laughs, adjusting her bag on her shoulder as they walk through the streets of Atlantis. They’re trying to find a gift for Livvy’s mom- it’s not going very well, though, since the only things Livvy can remember she likes are “music” and “those weird jam pastries” and neither of those things is very helpful. She peeks into another shop window as Livvy keeps talking. 

“Everyone’s just like, ‘oh, but you’re Talentless, how could someone like you be friends with a Vacker,’ and I’m like, ‘wow, I wasn’t aware that abilities dictated who you could be friends with.’” She groans. “Honestly. This would all be easier if I could just manifest already.”

“Hey,” Della says, grabbing her hand. “I don’t care that you’re Talentless, okay? You’re my best friend.”

“Well, duh,” Livvy says. “It would just stop the gossip mill.”

Della shrugs. She’s been around the gossip mill her whole life- if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Then she spots a tiny box in the storefront of a shop across the street. “Wait, what’s that?”

That, as it turns out, is a music player, a tiny instrument that plays the newest Song songs. Livvy takes one look at it and brings it up to the purchase counter. 

“My mom’s going to love it,” she says as they leave the store. “Thank you so much.”

“I just saw it in the window,” Della laughs. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Still.” Livvy leans over and gives Della a quick kiss on the cheek. A warmth and the scent of lilacs surround Della, gone as quickly as they’d come. “Thank you,” she says, stepping back. 

Della blinks, trying to quell the odd rising feeling in her chest. “You’re welcome,” she manages. “Um. Do you want to get butterblasts?”

Livvy’s face lights up, and Della reminds herself that this is normal. Friendship is normal. Livvy probably gives all her friends cheek kisses. 

“Yes,” Livvy says, hooking her arm through Della’s. “Let’s go.”

-/-

Seven years after, thirty-seven years before. 

Dear Livvy, 

I miss you. Everyone here is nice, sure, but they don’t have your humor or your looks. I have this constant feeling that everyone wants to be my friend because of my family, not because of me. You were never like that. 

Why were you never like that?

Anyways, my studies are going well. The Elite Levels are… harder, than normal Foxfire, but it’s fine. Not like I have much else to do. 

They were playing a song today in Advanced History, the one with all the birds; do you remember it used to be your favorite? You’d play it on loop, talking about how it “embodied nature” or whatever, until I had to tackle you to shut you up. 

Do you know how many times I almost kissed you last summer? How many times we were sitting so close it would have been easy to just lean forward? Because I do, and it’s a lot. 

How are you? How’s work? I heard you’re training to be a physician- that’s so cool! I hope that when I come home you can show me the stuff you’ve learned. 

I should go. Have a ton of work. 

I love miss you,

Della 

-/-

Thirty-one years after, thirteen years before.

Della and Alden don’t fight often. Della’s not one for fighting, honestly; if someone cares enough about a subject to actually come to blows about it, she usually assumes they’re right. Livvy always said that was a stupid mindset, but Della disagrees- in high society, it’s easier to just agree and move on than to argue. 

On this, however, she refuses to back down. 

“No,” she says, striding closer to Fitz and taking the six-year-old in her lap. “You are not sending our son to the Forbidden Cities.”

Alden sighs. “Honestly, Della, I’ve told you, it’s barely even illegal. And this is important-” 

“I don’t give a flying fizzleberry how important it is! He’s six years old, Alden! You can’t throw a six-year-old a melder and tell him to be careful. He’s going to get hurt.”

“I’m big!” Fitz objects. “I could do it.” He looks up at Della, eyes wide. “What am I doing again?”

Della glares at her husband. “See? He’s a little kid. He’s not going to be roped into your insane missions.”

“This is important-”

“Nothing is more important than our son!”

“Some things are.”

Della steps back, mouth hanging open as Alden scoops Fitz into his arms. He glances back up at her. “I’m trying to save the world, Della. You’ll understand when we find her.”

He heads towards the exit, and Della drops into a chair. Softly, she mutters, 

“I hope you never find that girl if this is what she’s being brought into.”

-/-

Forty-two years after, two years before.

Della marches into Alden’s office and slaps a pile of papers down on the desk. He looks up, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s this?”

“I’m filing a match fail.” Della says bluntly. “You just need to sign right there and I’ll ship it off.”

“And what happens if I don’t sign?” Alden asks. Della places another sheet of paper on the desk. 

“Then I bring the issue of domestic and child abuse to the Council, as well as telling them how long you were illegally going to the Fobidden Cities.” She smiles at him. “Your choice.”

Alden stares at her. “After everything I’ve done-” 

“Nope,” Della says. “You don’t get to do this right now. You don’t have the right. Just sign and get out of my house.”

“Your house?”

“It’s belonged to the Vacker family for generations,” Della informs him. “And you are no longer a Vacker.”

“Della-” Alden starts, but Della’s turning towards the door. 

“With all due respect,” she says, “I’ve had to put up with your bullshit for twenty-nine years. I’m done.”

And she exits the room. 

“Why did you want to meet me here?” Livvy asks an hour later. She’s sitting across from Della at a small coffee shop in Atlantis. This is, Della reflects, the first time they’ve seen each other- really seen each other- since she got married. 

“I filed a match fail against Alden,” she responds. “He’s leaving.”

Livvy’s eyebrows shoot up. “That’s- big.”

Della shrugs. “It’s been a long time coming. I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh. I- okay.” Livvy’s quiet for a moment, absentmindedly ripping flakes off of a pastry. “Why?” she finally asks. 

Wordlessly, Della hands her a folded piece of paper. She’s been doing that a lot lately- writing down her thoughts so she doesn’t have to articulate them out loud. It’s helpful, sometimes. 

The paper she’s handed Livvy has only three words on it:

I love you. 

Livvy looks at her. “What-”

“I think,” Della admits, “I’ve been in love with you for a very long time. Since school, even. I was confused, back then. Scared, of what my family would say.” She exhales slowly. “I’m tired of being scared.” 

She glances up and Livvy. “So- if you’d be okay with it, I’d like to try something.”

Livvy blinks and nods, and Della kisses her. 

This is nothing like kissing Alden. This is warmth and security and the smell of lilacs, so much like that cheek kiss in Atlantis all those years ago. This is home- Livvy is home- and Della loves it. 

-/-

Then, forty-four years before.

“Oh!”

Della runs straight into someone, knocking herself to the ground. A girl, clad in the same black uniform as Della, is standing over her, dark jewel-scattered braids hanging around her face. She smiles at Della. 

“Hey, sorry about that,” she says, offering a hand and pulling Della to her feet. “I’m Livvy, by the way.”

“Della Vacker,” Della responds. “And I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Livvy laughs, flashing Della a bright smile. “Let’s just agree it was both our faults. Where are you headed?” 

“Elvin history,” Della says confidently. She’s had her schedule memorized since the day it arrived with the rest of her supplies. “You?”

“Uh,” Livvy bites her lip, rummaging through her pockets. “I’m not sure? It might be elementalism. Ooh, or ability detecting!” She shrugs. “I’ll figure it out. See you at lunch?”

Della blinks. “I- sure. That sounds good.”

Livvy flashes her a thumbs-up and takes off, calling behind her. 

“Great! Nice to meet you, Della Vacker!”

And Della, standing in the middle of the Level One hallway, has a sudden feeling that her life is about to change for the better. 

-/-

Forty-four years after, now. 

Della is married for the second time on a cool October afternoon, surrounded by her friends and family. Fitz is best man, Biana is maid of honor, and the rest of their friends are in the wedding party in one capacity or another. Keefe and Dex specifically requested to be flower boys. 

There are no interruptions this time, no shouting at the garden gates, no anger that they’re getting married. It’s just Livvy and Della, now Livvy-and-Della, and a lot of love. 

“I first fell for you when you fell for me, that first day in Foxfire,” Livvy laughs. “I looked at you and I thought, that’s her. That’s the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.” She looks at Della. “That’s the girl I am spending the rest of my life with.”

Della takes her hands, twining their fingers together. “I love you,” she says simply. “I love you, and I’m never going to stop saying it.”

The priest drones on, the ceremony comes to a close, and Della says “I do,” for the second time in her life. 

This time, she really means it. 

[faithwhisper]

I hate talking on the phone. There's so much pressure to keep the conversation going and I feel it's all on me. If I can't keep it going or make it interesting, I feel it will reflect badly on my behaviour. People will think that I am rude or that I don't want to talk to them but it's kinda opposite, I would love to but I don't know how. Also, everytime I talk to someone on phone when I finally put it down, it feels like someone has sucked my entire energy out of me. Seriously, phone calls can be so draining. It takes me a while to recharge myself after a conversation. Please..please don't force me to talk on the phone with you. I prefer texting. Writing my thoughts has always been preferable to me than talking about them. Its clean and I feel more in control. I am an isolated 26 year old who prefer to stay in her space and talking to people, try and hold up small conversations is draining. Plus my life is boring, I've got nothing to tell you.

-dkg