#plus it would bridge the gap between the season and christmas

[how-masterful]

Doctor who needs to remember its literally the 'hide behind the sofa because the bad guys are scary' tv show and finally give us a true halloween special. Full blown monsters, full blown scares, full blown mayhem. And it needs to be lead by the master with his own special title sequence.

[obsidianvibranium]

💜 About Me

I love animals, memes, mental health positivity, and analyzing the media I consume. Marvel and cat stuff makes up about 85-90% of this blog’s content, so if either of those things is a point of contention, then this blog is not for you. However I am consistent in my tagging so you could block either if you wanted to.

I do read fanfiction for Marvel and I have an entire “side blog” for it: @violets-library. I also have a side-side blog where I keep my queue of fanfics I would like to read at some point, and where you can send me fic recs: @violetsreadinglist .

I also have another side blog which houses all of the things I like that aren’t (and which I probably enjoy more so than) marvel; that blog is @sleepingthestral

This blog is movies, tv shows, literature, music, history, language, memes, more animals, comedy, franchises, and other stuff. I typically don’t post the same memes on both my main and this blog (unless its super important or super funny) so there is a difference in content.

If you would like to know more about me, check out the #about me or #im being called out again tags.

💜 My Love/Hate Of MCU

As to why I hate Disney (as the company is now) is explained here, here, and here. The gist of it is that disney is a factory producing mediocre stories with characters that have great foundations but little to no meaningful development. Disney’s policies and actions as of late regarding its treatment of employees, as well as its blatant disregard for artistic respect and consistency, means that I refuse to give them any of my money and that includes paying for Disney plus or seeing the movies in theater. They are a consumerist organization that is only focused on money instead of being focused on telling important stories that will bridge the gaps between various cultures and societal groups.

That being said, Marvel, which is owned by Disney, fits that same consumerist, money-making profile and I loathe it. They have great foundations for these characters but they refuse to do anything to maintain consistency between the individual hero franchises and the avengers/group films. An example of this is the overall plot for Steve’s character in endgame, but I won’t get into the details of that argument here. Another example is their inability to recognize Bucky as a hero and not a villain, and another, their treatment of Sam Wilson since he became Captain America (i.e. there’s no mention of him in any of the latest projects). Hence, my love/hate relationship with the mcu: a love of the characters but a hatred of the plots and the writers’ inability to maintain character consistency (which is why I read fanfiction).

This is also why I rant about it all the time and try to show what the characters should be like; you can find these rants and writings HERE.

However, there are some good things they’ve done within the characters, though they are few and far between, and those things, in addition to fanart and gif sets, are what I reblog if I’m not ranting.

💜 Navigation

I am a huge proponent for spreading kindness and genuine positivity, and all the posts that fit under this umbrella are marked: #spread the love

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↪️ #writing positivity

All of my posts about our fellow creatures will be marked #animals.

↪️ #cats #cat

➡️ #kittens #kitten

↪️ #dogs #dog

➡️ #puppies #puppy

↪️ #birds

Et cetera…

Inter-species friendships and photos will be tagged #besties

And all animal posts are typically delineated #cute or #funny, sometimes both.

SEASONAL TAGS

#autumn vibes #halloween

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#summer vibes

OTHER TAGS

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The facts, Jack.

#super important #signal boost #psa

Everyone should read/see.

Warnings: #tw anxiety #tw depression #tw eating disorder #suicide mention #tw abuse

Please block these tags if any of these things are triggering to you.

Lastly, anything can be tagged with #that’s my queue, which just means that it’s been queued and I didn’t directly reblog it right then.

💜 Marvel Content Navigation.

[siodymph]

“A Hogsmeade Holiday”

Hey @ohlooksheswriting I was your secret santa for the RotBTD Gift Exchange! I can’t begin to tell you how fun your prompt was to work with! I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing this! Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

All around them powdery white snowflakes fell from the sky. For now it was a light snow, not even enough to coat the already-dead grass in ice. But in a few weeks, Hiccup imagined the entire school grounds would be blanketed in several feet of snow.

Soon it would look just like home. Berk was so far North, the island was almost always icy. Even during the summer there’d still be a bitter chill in the air. And Hiccup did not miss it at all. After a few years Hiccup had come to enjoy the climate at Hogwarts, even began to prefer it, the school was south enough to actually have seasons and change. Actually getting to experience the melting of spring and the warmth of summer. But when things became cold, it would remind him of home. Whether that was a good or bad thing depended on his mood really.

His best friend Jack however, absolutely adored the cold. Far more than any Wizard possibly could. It was like the cold gave him a new-found energy source. Just seeing the snow flurries seemed to put an extra spring in the Jack’s step. Practically bouncing as the two made their way off the school grounds and towards Hogsmeade Village.  

Jack had told him one of the Gryffindor girls in their year was hosting a holiday party at the Three Broomsticks. For Fifth-years only. Apparently it was an effort to bring their year closer together and ease some of the tension between Hogwarts Houses.

So of course, Jack was dragging his Ravenclaw friend to this holiday party.

“But I don’t even celebrate Christmas, I grew up with Sn-”

“Snoggletog, yeah, yeah I know.” Jack was quick to interrupt. “And technically Snoggletog and Yule came first before any Christians came on the wizarding scene. You told me before… I still hate the name though. Makes it sound like a holiday exclusively for swapping spit.”

“Gross.” Hiccup said wrinkling his nose. “So why are you bringing me?”

“Well they aren’t the same but they do celebrate a lot of the same stuff.” Jack explained. “Plus if you stayed cooped up in the library any longer, you’d probably start going looney.”

Hiccup huffed at that, quickly pulling a necklace out of his satchel. “Well unlike some people, I actually want to figure out this challenge Professor Flitwick gave us in Charms!”

Jack just shrugged. “I honestly thought he was just making Dreamworks up. I mean really, a secret necklace that you manipulate in your dreams? And when you wake up it just, happens?”

Hiccup looked down to gaze at his charm. It was a simple chain with a moon-shaped pendent that sparkled oddly. “I’m so close to cracking this thing. I can feel it!”

“You know Hic, you don’t have to be perfect at everything.” Jack said with a laugh. “Maybe you’re just meant to be a Magical Creatures kinda guy. Like that one guy you’re always going on about. Commander Newt, right?”

“Oh you mean, Newt Scamander? Only the greatest Magizoologist of our time?” Hiccup asked dryly.

“Yeah, that guy!” Jack teased.

Hiccup chuckled and shook his head. “You’re lucky we’re friends. Otherwise you’d probably fail all your classes.”

“Not my fault you explain things better than any of our professors do.” Jack replied, his eyes sparked as an idea came to him. “Maybe that’s what you should do! You should become a professor!”

“Now there’s an idea.” Hiccup replied. “But I have no idea what I’d even want to teach. There so much to learn about magic. It’s overwhelming sometimes.”

Jack didn’t seem nearly as concerned as Hiccup. “I just focus on the subjects I feel a connection with. I’m just gonna follow that pull and see where it takes me!”

“Well good luck with that.” Hiccup said sarcastically. “So while you and all the other Gryffindor go flying by the seat of your pants, the Ravenclaws like myself will be trying to actually learn and master our subjects.”

“You’re always so quick to divide people into houses.” Jack pointed out.

“Well, everyone from my island normally lands in Gryffindor. So when I didn’t that kinda caused a schism.” Hiccup said. Though if he was honest, that schism between himself and everyone else from Berk had existed long before he met the Sorting Hat in first year…

“Well who knows? Maybe this party is just the thing to close that gap!” Jack continued enthusiastically.

“I still can’t believe a Gryffindor set this whole thing up.”

“What’s so hard to believe about that?” Jack asked.

“This whole thing sounds like something a Hufflepuff would do.” Hiccup explained. “Trying to get everyone to be friends? Being all… friendly?”

“Well, if you knew Anna they way I do, you’d know that girl is an absolute party animal.” Jack replied. “If that girl can find a reason to throw a party then she’ll throw it!”

“Maybe she should have been a Hufflepuff. They’re all sweet and kind like that.”

“Maybe.” Jack countered. “And maybe you should have been one too! Then maybe you’d chill out more.”

While Jack laughed Hiccup just shrugged.

Soon enough they arrived at the Three Broomsticks. The whole building was decked out in Christmas decoration. And when they stepped inside, the boys saw that the Tavern was packed to the gills with pretty much everyone from their year. Music drifted through the air, competing for volume with everyone hooting and hollering.

Instinctively, Hiccup felt himself move closer towards the door. But Jack moved forwards, taking Hiccup with him as they made their way towards the bar.

“Hey Bun! Get me a butterbeer!” Jack called out to the guy running the bar, a Pooka actually by the name of Bunnymund. The man gave Jack a very pointed glare. But Jack hardly seemed worried. “And make it frozen, extra icy!”

Bunnymund for his part just rolled his eyes, muttering something about Jack being a “sub-zero gumby”. Hiccup almost missed it when the Pooka asked him what he wanted.

“Oh, uh.” Hiccup looked around the bar before realizing Bunnymund had been talking to him. “I’ll just have a Pumpkin Juice cider, please.”

“Sure thing kid.” Bunnymund replied. Before disappearing to go grab their drinks.

Hiccup was about to ask Jack what he’d done to annoy Bunnymund so much when a girl’s voice suddenly boomed across the Tavern.

“Jack! Ye gommy eijit! Where’ve you been?”

Both boys, and almost everyone else in the tavern, turned to see Merida DunBroch standing up at a table. She was a Slytherin girl. Her dark green house scarf was wrapped loosely around her neck and completely countered her massive plume of curly red hair.

“Sorry, Mer!” Jack replied, slinging an arm around Hiccup. “Someone here needed a little extra persuading.”

“Well come on then, get over here!” Merida practically demanded, bouncing her hands off the table as she did so. “I’ve spent the last half hour staking out this table for us! Some nyaffs almost stole it from me!”

As they moved to go sit down, Hiccup noticed how Merida gave a few boys from their grade a very smug look. He remembered when they were all first-years Merida use to hang out with them a lot because they were all from Scotland. That had been before she got to know Jack and Hiccup. The boys for their part scoffed at Merida and walked away with a pout.

As they all sat down, Jack leaned over and kissed Merida on the cheek. And within seconds the two began to bicker. While they went at it Hiccup let his mind wander. Despite the goal of the party, it seemed like a big chunk of the students were sticking to their own houses instead of mingling. Oh well, at least Anna had tried to bridge that gap in their year.

This whole thing was meant to bring the houses closer together but personally, Hiccup already had friends outside of his house. So he didn’t understand why he needed to be here. He was good on the whole friend-quota. Not to mention, big gatherings between houses like these made him nervous. Because if Ravelnclaws, Slytherins and Hufflepuffs were all here, that meant Gryffindors would be as well.

And while Hiccup got along perfectly well with Jack, that same sentiment was not there for any other Gryffindor kids. Especially not the ones from his hometown of Berk.

As if sensing his dread, the universe decided it was time to mess with him again. Just as Bunnymund gave them their drinks Hiccup saw the front doors open out of the corner of his eye. And stepping into the Tavern was none-other than Berk’s finest. Most of the kids didn’t notice him, but one of the girls, Astrid, did. The expression on her face was unreadable.

Stumbling out of his chair, Hiccup quickly got up. “I- uh- I’m gonna go get some fresh air.”

“But it’s freezing out there.” Merida said.

“Yeah, nothing like a lungful of ice to get your blood pumping. Right Jack?”

Jack turned to see the group of Gryffindor kids and turned back to Hiccup, “You seriously gonna leave cause of them?”

“I’ll be right back.” Hiccup said, not even grabbing his pumpkin juice as he left. “I promise. I just need to go clear my head.”

And with that, Hiccup hurried out one of the back doors. Once outside, he leaned up against a wall and watched his own breath fog up. It always reminded him of a dragon when it did that. The thought helped him calm down a little.

He hated running into those kids. It was bad enough he had to live with them every summer. But Hogwarts was supposed to be his element. An escape from all that. A place where he didn’t have to hear how much of a scrawny weakling he was. He didn’t have to be reminded of how lowly everyone on Berk thought of him.

Hiccup decided he’d just have to wait until they all left and then he’d go back to Merida and Jack.

In the meantime, he walked around the outside of the Three Broomsticks and sat out front to people-watch. Hogsmead was an interesting town. If it hadn’t been for the school it would have just been a humble village somewhere out on the Countryside. But because there was a massive wizarding school next door there was a hodgepodge of different stores that either sold simple-yet-practical necessities, specifically school-supplies, or superfluous toys and candy. There was no in-between. And the same could be said for the people as well. They were either rugged elders who lived in the same town for generations, or were bright-eyed youngsters playing in the snow without a care in the world.

It was a unique bunch for a unique town, Hiccup guessed. At least everyone’s Christmas decorations, plus the freshly fallen snow made it all gentle and beautiful. As if blending the two polar opposites together somehow.

As he watched the snow fall, one figure walking through the streets caught his eye.

It was a girl around his age. But he had never seen them before in school. She was wearing a homemade bright purple cloak that stood out among the grey walls and grey ice. Her arms were full with bags and packages. And her hair was a beautiful golden blonde, so long that it had to be both braided and pulled up into a bun. Hiccup found himself immediately curious as to who the girl was. She didn’t look like a villager or a student, so why would she possibly be here?

As she passed her foot must have caught on a patch of ice. All at once the poor girl slipped and fell, and all of the items in her hands went scattering across the ground.

Before he could even think twice, Hiccup was on his feet and rushing over to the girl.

“Are you ok?” Hiccup asked.

The girl looked up at Hiccup with a gasp. Green eyes wide with fear. But when she realized Hiccup meant her no harm she laughed nervously.

“I’m fine!” She replied. “I’m just really clumsy. Mother always said I need to watch where I walk.”

Taking her hand, Hiccup helped the girl up and began picking up all her things.

“Oh! Thank you!” She said, somewhat surprised.

“It’s no problem.” Hiccup replied.

As he collected the girl’s things, he noticed it was all books, uniforms, vials and cauldrons. The kind of stuff you’d buy at Diagon Ally before getting to school, not half-way through the year.

“What? Did someone steal your stuff?” Hiccup couldn’t help but ask. “Or did you just get here or something?”

“Last week.” The girl explained. “My mother has been teaching me privately. And normally the school doesn’t accept transfers, but they made an exception for me. I got a letter insisting I attend their school actually.”

“Oh,” Hiccup replied. He didn’t even know their school accepted transfers. “So you’ll be at Hogwarts from now on?”

“Yes, I’m so excited to attend. I’ve heard so much about the curriculum, and the library!” The girl replied. Before suddenly jumping as if she just remembered something. “Oh no, wait! I’m so sorry, I never even asked what your name is!”

“Hiccup” Hiccup quickly replied. “Hiccup Horrendous Haddock. And you are?”

“I’m Rapunzel. Uh, Rapunzel Gothel.” The girl, Rapunzel, replied with a little curtsey. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Feeling’s mutual.”

Rapunzel smiled as she scanned over all the buildings, clearly looking for something. “One of the girls from my class. Invited me to a Christmas party, at some place called the Three-”

“The Three Broomsticks?”

Rapunzel’s eyes lit up at the name. “You know it?”

Hiccup nodded, gesturing to the building behind him. “It’s right here actually. Every fifth-year at the school is in there.”

“Perfect!” Rapunzel said. “This way is much more efficient! I can meet everyone at once!”

“That’s one way to look at it.” Hiccup replied. He was still incredibly curious about the girl so he offered. “My friends and I have a table inside, you can sit with us and get situated if you like.”

“I’d love that.” Rapunzel replied. “Lead the way!”

As they stepped back into the Three Broomsticks, Hiccup made sure to avoid the table currently taken by Astrid. Instead sticking to the back wall until they got to Merida and Jack’s table.

When Merida saw them come over, she grinned.

“It’s about time you got here, ya Blether!”

Hiccup was about to respond but much to his surprise Rapunzel replied instead.

“Sorry! I had to stop on my way to buy some school supplies.” She explained as she set all her bags on the table. “I had a little trouble finding this place, but Hiccup here helped me out!”

Hiccup looked between the girls in confusion. “Wait, you two already know each other?”

“Nothing gets past you, Sherlock.” Jack teased.

“That’s m’boyfriend Jack, by the way.” Merida told Rapunzel. “Complete idiot but he’s cute. And Jakc, since you’re the last one out of the loop, this here’s Rapuznel.”

“How do you do?” Jack said with a nod.

Merida scrunched up her nose at her boyfriend before answering Hiccup. “Ey, Punzie here showed up in my D.A.D.A. class this week. I swear this girl’s a mad genius! She’s got a better grip than most the folks at this entire school!”

“So you immediately became her class partner?” Jack asked.

“You know it!” Merida replied. “If it weren’t for her, I’d be failing this new assignment for sure!”

Rapunzel blushed under all the sudden praise. “It’s not a big deal you guys. We’re just learning about some cognitive curses, and the defensive spells you use counter them with.”

“That’s a mouthful.” Jack teased.

“That sounds really interesting, actually.” Hiccup quickly said in defense. “What kind of curses are you working with?”

“Well,” Rapunzel began. “There’s this one that seems really tricky. It’s called the Disini Curse. Once activated, an evil wizard could steal ideas or dreams their victim has. If the victim doesn’t realize what happened to them, the curse can be active for years and they’d be none the wiser.”

“That sounds horrible.” Hiccup said with a slight shiver.

Rapunzel nodded in agreement. “That’s why knowing the counterspells and remedies is so important. The quickest way to counter the curse is with a mind-clearing potion to re-encourage an independent mind. Though if you’re not careful you can easily be put back under the curse.”

For a moment, Rapunzel looked around the table before looking down sheepishly. “I sorta just hijacked the conversation there. I’m sorry for being rude.”

“You weren’t being rude at all.” Hiccup replied. “I find cognitive spells like that very interesting. My D.A.D.A. class is kinda behind so we’re still going over magical-creature defensive measures.”

“Oh that sounds fun!” Rapunzel said. “I wish I had been here for that.”

“Yeah, it was fun at first. The C.M.C. professor brought in some actual animals.”

For a moment, Hiccup glanced towards Jack and Merida who were grinning to each other like they were sharing some secret.

“You two got something you’d like to share?” Hiccup asked dryly.

“Nope!” Jack replied.

Merida snorted but didn’t say anything else.

Deciding to leave it be, Hiccup turned back to Rapunzel. “Anyways, I don’t know when you’ll do the hat sorting ceremony, but when you do I hope they place you in Ravenclaw. We could use someone brilliant like you.”

After hearing that, Merida laughed out loud, cackling and smacking the table with her hand. “You- You gommy! She already got her house!”

“What?”

Rapunzel looked sheepish as she explained. “It was the first thing they had me do when I arrived.”

Reaching up, Rapunzel undid her cloak to reveal her school uniform. And there loosely wrapped around her collar was a tie.

A yellow tie.

She’d been placed in Hufflepuff?

While Hiccup looked shocked, Merida continued to laugh, clearly enjoying this.

“I’m sure you guys will have some classes together.” Jack said lightly, trying to console him Hiccup realized. “And it’s not like we don’t see each other all the time, despite us all being in different houses.”

“That’s true.” Hiccup had to admit.

Still he couldn’t shake his surprise. Rapunzel seemed so smart and creative. She was everything admirable in a Ravenclaw. How did she not end up in the same house as him?

Maybe he didn’t know the other Hogwarts Houses as well as he thought…

He was pulled from his musing when Merida reached over and put Jack in a headlock. “You’re lucky Jack! I don’t think that dis-curse would work on you. Cause your head’s already empty!”

“Hey I resent that!” Jack said, laughing as her began to wrestle with his girlfriend.

Rapunzel watched them with a curious smile. “Are they usually like this?”

“All the time.” Hiccup replied. “If they aren’t acting like wildlings, that’s when you really gotta worry.”

That made Rapunzel laugh. Hiccup couldn’t help but notice how melodious her laugh was. It made him want to laugh to.

Hiccup couldn’t wait for Rapunzel to join their little gang of Hogwarts misfits.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Ladder Theory: Master Post

So I’ve been promising to update my ladder theory. To recap, I first noticed the ladder as a symbol in S6. We saw it in 6x05 when Aaron and Maggie almost left through the sewer to find Glenn, but ultimately didn’t. We saw a ladder lying sideways in the sewer along with two walkers who were supposed to be the people Deanna banished from Alexandria.

Then, only a few episodes later in 6x08, Maggie climbed the ladder up to a scaffold to escape the walker horde. 

The other reason I think I noticed this was because it was also an instance where we saw red (Maggie’s shoelaces) and green (a cord hanging down the ladder) together. (Red/Green Theory)

I couldn’t be sure what it meant, but based on how it functioned in the scene, about all I could say was that it led to Maggie’s escape from the walker horde, so maybe ladder = escape) and also that she saved herself. It wasn’t like there was anyone else on the scaffold to pull her up or rescue her. She used the ladder, but she also completely saved herself.

Since then, we’ve seen a few ladders here and there, but nothing that REALLY jumped out at me. At least, not until last season on FTWD. If you remember in FTWD S4, part of the group was trapped on the roof of a—yes, that’s right—hospital. Which had plenty of Grady parallels. To rescue them, the other half of the group showed up in a fire truck and extended the fire truck’s ladder upward to rescue those trapped on the roof.

So once again, we had the ladder as a tool of rescue and/or escape. And in this case, it was paired with the firetruck. Something that disappeared, along with Beth’s body, after Coda.

@frangipanilove brought up a good point about the firetruck as well. She asked if firetrucks, in the states, are referred to as ladders. And the answer is yes, they are. It’s kind of a fire fighter slang to call either the truck itself or the firehouse/district they reside over a “ladder.” So think of the Joaquin Phoenix movie, Ladder 49. Or, another example would be that the firetruck in Coda might be referred to as Ladder 82.

So in a lot of ways, ladders and firetrucks might be synonymous symbols, just as the North Star and dog/dog star symbols/blue coolers/etc. basically mean the same thing.  Let’s shift for a moment to some biblical symbolism. @wdway and I have talked extensively about the possibility that the ladders painted on the trees represent the story of Jacob’s ladder from the bible. We know this show is big on biblical symbolism. 

The story of Jacob has a lot of things we could possibly relate to TD symbolism. Things like a long separation from family and an eventual reunion. I won’t go into every detail because you guys can google the story yourself. (Here’s the Wikipedia page).

The short of it is that Jacob and his brother separated due to conflict when they were adolescents. They didn’t reunite until decades later when they were both married and had large households. After that, they pretty much lived happily every after. Not romantically, of course. They just lived and worked side by side as brothers, raised their children, and buried their father together. It’s a very sweet story.

So I think that can definitely apply to our characters here. Obviously Beth and Daryl, but long term separation, followed by reunion, is a major theme on the show. It’s true of many characters (such as when they were all separated after the prison went down) but it’s especially true of romantic characters. 

It occurred to me that none of our true love characters are actually together as the S10 begins. Beth and Daryl, Michonne and Rick, Carol and Ezekiel, Glenn and Maggie. They're all separated in some way. You can also throw Dwight and Sherry and John and June into the mix. (Granted, John and June have already reunited but they were apart for a long time.) 

In terms of the Jacob’s ladder story, it’s basically a vision he had where he saw a ladder sitting on the ground that reached up into the sky, and God stood at the top of it. The general idea is that the ladder is meant to BRIDGE the gap between earth and heaven, or between man and God. So a ladder is also a type of bridge. (Bridge Theory) 

So last season in Fear, they used the LADDER on the FIRETRUCK to BRIDGE the gap between the people trapped on the roof, and the ground, where they would find safety. I think that works well. It brought them to safety, just as it did for Maggie in 6x08. Plus, it reunited those who’d been separated from one another. Maggie didn’t have a reunion right away, but this was when Glenn was missing during his death fake out. Her climbing the ladder and getting to safety allowed her to reunite him in the following episode when he, Daryl and Sashraham made it back.

The ladder Maggie and Aaron saw in the tunnel is a little harder to interpret, but because it was lying on it’s side, and the people who apparently tried to return that way were dead, I think it’s almost an anti-ladder symbol. Because it’s not standing up, it’s like the opposite happened. Perhaps the fallen ladder = death, failure to attain the reunion, etc. Plus, that path--going to find Glenn that way--was not the correct path for Maggie to take. She ultimately realized that and turned back. But it might have been meant to symbolize a negative path, rather than a positive on that led toward life and reunion.

Another interesting detail? In biblical symbolism, light blue represents heaven. And what color did Alicia paint the tree? Light blue.

@wdway also found a reference that associated Christ, the ladder and Christmas, because Christ was BORN to be the ladder between heaven and earth. See why this makes us happy?

One more thing: after Jacob had his ladder dream, he built an altar to sacrifice to the Lord, and called the name of the place BETHEL. Which means “house of God.” So once again we have Beth’s name associated with this symbolism. (Yay!) And of course I always have to refer back to the mysteries of S5 and how we can apply this. It’s not anything we haven’t theorized before, but I think that firetruck (Ladder 82) must have played a direct role in saving Beth, saving TF from the walker horde, or both. 

I’ve thought about them having left her in the firetruck before, but the problem is that most of area inside a firetruck is open to the air. The walkers could have just reached in and gotten her. But we’ve seen representations of her waking up in the front seat, so they might have left her in the cab, and that would have worked. We’ve also seen representations of her in the trunk, so it’s hard to know for sure. I’m sure it will all makes sense once we see it play out.

Maybe it’s something where she was left where walkers could get her, which is why TF assumed they did, but she woke up and climbed up onto the ladder and was able to stay there until the horde passed or something. Just spit-balling here, of course. But this has some really interesting ramifications. 

Okay, one last thing and I’ll shut up. This may be a bit of a stretch but I think it might be fair to claim that Jacob and Esau are the Christian version of Romulus and Remus. Now, their stories aren’t the same at all. (Hence the stretch.) But in a broader way, they’re two somewhat famous or infamous brothers whose stories have been told for thousands of years. They grew up together, had plenty of conflict between them, but are known more as being brothers, as a pairing, than for anything they did on their own. 

Some of Romulus and Remus’s stories mention separation, though none as long or significant as Jacob’s and Esau’s, but the song in Still did mention them and talk about the party when the wolf comes home, which is, by definition, a reunion.

So what does this mean? If the ladder symbol represents the bridge between heaven and earth, earth being life/love/family and earth being the opposites, that makes sense. But why see it in Fear so prominently? I have some longer-term theories about what this could mean and why we’re seeing it now. I’ll post about them tomorrow. But I do think it’s very significant.

I also think this could well be the reason for the specific use of the truck in S5: it’s function and symbolism. I believe the ladder on the firetruck played a major part in saving Beth’s life, which will allow her to not only live, but eventually reunite with her family. (Heaven).

[fuckyeahrogerandbrianna]

Check out our interview to learn more about how she wrote about Jamie and Willie’s relationship in “Of Lost Things,” and Claire and Brianna’s relationship in “Freedom & Whiskey.”  

SONY: The disconnect between Brianna and Claire progressively resolves itself over the first half of the season, especially in episode 5. As a writer, how did you decide which moments were key in bridging the gap between them? Were there any other ways to bring them together that you explored but didn’t pursue?

TONI GRAPHIA: Essentially all of the Claire and Brianna relationship moments we wanted to explore ultimately ended up on screen. But earlier in the process, the story wasn’t so mother-daughter centric, and at one point there was a Jamie and Brianna storyline we considered but did not pursue … [because] I realized the story was really more between mother and daughter. We had two episodes—4 and 5—to portray the evolution of that relationship, and the moments we emphasized were focused on increasing the transparency between Claire and Brianna.

In order to bridge the gap between them, I thought it was important for Claire to involve Brianna in the search for Jamie so that she wouldn’t feel shut out. It gives them a project to work on together and allows them to bond. We wanted that transparency so Brianna wouldn’t feel like her mother was on a secret mission to find Jamie and keeping her apart from it—instead, the research was used as something to bring them together. And it was likewise important to show that Brianna was excited to be a part of this search and grateful that her mother had finally shared the secret with her. In one earlier version, Roger was the one who gave the article to Brianna and told her that he had found Jamie. But I changed it to have Claire be the one who admits to Brianna that Jamie has been found—not so she could seek her daughter’s blessing, but just in the interest of honesty because she’d kept so many things from her before.

But with that transparency about Claire’s future comes a need for transparency about the past. Taking a look back in their history is shining a light on things that used to be secret. We wanted to craft a moment where Claire and Brianna could have a truthful conversation about how Brianna had always sensed that something was off in her parents’ marriage. So that conversation beneath the arches about Frank and his relationship with another woman was another important part of breaking down the wall between mother and daughter. We had a lot of discussion in the writers’ room about many moments that could have existed between Claire and Brianna, but we kept distilling them down to the moments that we believed would heal the wound between them—and those had to do with Claire being honest regarding both Jamie and Frank.

Another important element we felt we needed to play was Claire struggling with her decision to leave Brianna behind. Even when Brianna gives Claire her blessing and tells her she has to go back to Jamie, I thought it was important that Claire didn’t just take the yes and run with it. It was important to have a second conversation—the one they have later on the sofa—where Claire says she really wants Brianna to think about what this decision would mean and make sure she’s OK with it. She wants to be sure that Brianna understands the magnitude of what Claire is considering and what it would mean for both of them. To that end, I thought it was important to include the line where Claire says to Brianna that, even with Brianna’s blessing, she doesn’t know if she can bring herself to leave and never see her again. It’s a difficult, heartbreaking choice for both of them, which is part of the reason I decided to set the episode at Christmas—so they could have one last family Christmas together before Claire goes to the stones. In the book, Brianna accompanies her there, but I chose to have them say goodbye at home so Claire could say, “If I have to say goodbye to you there, I might never go.”

SONY: Brianna finally finds resolution in her relationship with her mother, and even helps her find Jamie. But she knows that when they succeed, she will lose Claire again. How do you write the payoffs for this relationship, knowing that it is bound to be bittersweet for the characters as well as the audience?

TONI GRAPHIA: Yes, it is indeed bittersweet. She's helping her mother and I don't think that at the beginning she's really thinking about the endgame. She's caught up in the excitement and hasn't really thought through the fact that if this succeeds, she will lose her mother. But it's like that old saying that when one door closes, another opens. Roger has appeared in her life at this moment, and just when she's lost her father who died, and now her mother is leaving—she's got Roger. And there's more than just a romantic spark, but a deep soul bond—after all, their families both date back to the 1700s … he's a MacKenzie! There’s the promise of love to come between them and I think that gives Claire some peace and helps her be able to leave her daughter, knowing she won’t be alone. But the biggest resolution Brianna finds in this heartbreaking situation is realizing Jamie saved her—he made her mother go back so that Brianna and Claire could have a chance. And the worst part of it all, is that Jamie’s had to live out his days not knowing if they even made it. Brianna finally comes to terms with accepting she has to let her mom go. Jamie gave her mom to her, and she has to give her back so she can tell him everything.

SONY: How did you develop Roger as both a fully-fledged character on his own, as well as someone who has huge influence in supporting the relationship between Claire and Brianna?

TONI GRAPHIA: Well, Roger has an interesting background in that both his parents were killed during the war. He was raised by a man who wasn't his birth father, just as Brianna was. He loves history, but knows very little of his own. He knew the Reverend was his adopted father and he knew some of his backstory. He never had the rug pulled out from under him like Brianna did. So he's a little more balanced and grounded. He's had a pretty safe life until now. And it’s fate that on the day he buries his father, he meets the love of his life. In the coming season, Roger's life will be upended because of his love of this girl and that's been interesting for us to explore. He's going to go through some huge, unbelievable challenges which will test everything about him as a person. His physical, mental, and emotional limits—and even his moral code. Without Brianna sparking this life change, he may have had a quiet, comfortable life as a professor. So, she's like a bomb that goes off for him. His relationship with Claire has been interesting too, and I wrote it a bit differently than the book. We really wanted him to come visit them and bring news of finding Jamie. Claire isn't ready to open that door again and initially she's not happy about him having done this research which she never asked for. But he cares about this mother and daughter. He was in the midst of what happened to them in the season finale last year and they are a bit of a trio. I wrote them as sort of three points of a triangle because he's become so enmeshed in their life. They're bound together forever by the bonds they forged through this experience at the end of Season 2. Plus, he sings a good rat satire! Ha ha. How could any girl resist him? Richard Rankin does an amazing job and I can't picture anyone else as Roger. He's perfect and we're all a little in love with him.

SONY: Most unusual for “Outlander,” you wrote two episodes back to back. Can you please talk about this process? Why you chose to write both episodes, what the experience was like, and any stand out scenes that you really loved writing?

TONI GRAPHIA: When reading Voyager, I thought the ship stuff was really cool, but what I connected with most was Jamie's relationship with his son, and Claire's struggle with how to leave her daughter. It started initially as one big episode, but there was just too much to cover. We'd always talked about maybe doing an "all Jamie" episode and an "all Claire" episode, so when this one started getting too big, we decided to split them and try to do just that. But how do you choose between Claire and Jamie?! So I said I wanted to do both. Everyone thought I was crazy to write back-to-back episodes, it's a heck of a lot of work. But I loved doing it and I'm proud of both. They're so different. There's still a little bit of each in the other's story, but it's the closest we came to doing all-Jamie, all-Claire. In episode 4, “Of Lost Things.” I'd say my favorite scenes were where Jamie sees his son in the baby carriage and tells him, "Dinna fash, I'm here." Then Lady Dunsany gives him his freedom and he decides to stay with his son. I also love the "stinking papist" scene, especially when Willie says he doesn't want a wife but Jamie says he'll find one someday, "...or she'll find you." And we know Jamie's thinking of Claire. The song at the end kills me every time; Bob Dylan's "Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" came to me way back when I was reading that chapter and I knew I wanted to use it in the episode. We found the cover version by the band Walk Off the Earth—perfect because it's a male-female duet and represents the Jamie and Claire parallel lives.

In episode 5, “Freedom & Whisky,” I love the scene where Sandy confronts Claire with her love for Frank, and Claire has to own the cost to this husband who stepped up to raise her daughter by another man. I love the scene where Claire asks Brianna if she's sure she can live without her and says, "Because I don't know if I can." And I loved writing Claire's transition back to the past—using the monologue about puddles. This was an episode that created a great deal of discussion in our writers’ room about how to portray a parent's decision to part with their child, even for the man she loves—and a daughter's decision to let her mother go. I couldn't have done either of these episodes without the creativity and enthusiasm of our very talented writing staff, and especially the wonderful Maril Davis who championed this episode and helped make it what I hope is a testament to the complex bond between mothers and daughters.

[toddlazarski]

Chicago Pizza Invasion: Lou Malnati’s & Pizano’s

Shepherd Express

As a non-native of Milwaukee, I’ll admit, it took me a minute. Maybe two. But, yes, now, half-of-a-lifetime later, I finally hate Chicago in all the appropriate ways. It is expensive and the traffic is terrible. The showoff-y skyline prominently features a one-million-point font all-caps endorsement of the third president to ever be impeached in the United States. O’Hare feels like a teeming abattoir. R. Kelly was born there. Don’t get me started on the Bears, or the Cubs, or their fans that caravan to town with their superiority and Sandburg jerseys to take advantage of our sacred beer n’ brat tailgating culture that their sky-high Lakeview rents and urban stacking could never allow. Then there’s the way all those Illinois folk drive. And the condescension, even when—especially when—they are trying to be nice about our fair burg. If another Chicagoan, upon learning my place of residence, tells me, “Oh, Milwaukee’s actually pretty nice”, I will consider a creed of never traveling south of Kenosha. 

But let's be very clear, and not only with the sober perspective of an outsider, but as an objective possessor of a rotund appetite: Chicago has far better pizza than Milwaukee. 

This is no slight. Chicago has far better pizza than almost anywhere, arguably, New York and Napoli included. It’s status as a world class food city can’t be overstated. It’s allure with the lot of foodies and Food Channel devotees and Eater readers and rock star chefs looking to break through or level up with a second location is almost unparalleled. Whether you put any stock at all in such metrics is inconsequential to the summation that Chicago, in terms of food trends and tastemaking, is important. Combine this with endlessly sprawling neighborhoods of culinary diversity, a deep-rooted tavern culture, and appropriate need-to-stay-warm fortifying fare appetites, and today it has become something like pizza Mecca. They have at least three distinct, world-known styles. There is also plenty of top tier Neapolitan, Roman, New York slicery, Detroit burnt edging, even destination-worthy coal-fired offerings.  

Chicago pizza is so good that you just have to cross the border, end up in a far flung suburb, like, say, Gurnee, and without even trying, be fattened and slice-sated by area micro chains (Bill’s), macro chains (Rosati’s), and weird corner joint one-offs (Wayne’s) that would put most of our best to shame. Over the past few years that same northward Chicago crust creep has continued across state lines, with two of their biggest names now available in Milwaukee: Lou Malnati’s and Pizano’s. You don’t even have to go south of Kenosha. But we do have to maybe shrug off the little brother syndrome so heavily cast by our big shouldered neighbor, and with open minds and guts and wallets, embrace it. 

Lou Malnati's

Over five decades, 50-plus locations, and six-million pizzas served a year, Lou’s—as it is charmingly, colloquially known—has established itself as probably the most successful deep dish pizza operation in Chicago.  

Yet, it’s the thin crust that highlights, that literally underscores, everything so lacking with so much Milwaukee-style: the crust itself is cracker thin, but there is no flop. And if ever a local politician could bridge the gap of divisive rhetoric of the day, a simple platform, put into practice, could rally even the most indifferent: we must stop the flop. Tavern style pizza—as it is known, as it originated in Chicago drinking institutions like Vito & Nick’s and the Home Run Inn, as a snack to nosh on while drinking beer, so that you would want to drink more beer—is supposed to hold up exactly like this. With a golden hue and buttery sheen finish, Lou’s thin square cut pieces have no problem maintaining integrity, structure, needing only one hand and no worry to steer all pertinent toppings at the face. You don’t even need to break concentration from the TV to eat a piece. It holds up to lazy microwaving or any more appropriate rewarming. (The latter is often, to many, painfully necessary—given the Fox Point takeout-only location).    

Cheese is draped as if by a socialist mayor, blanketing, giving generously to every square inch, insulating punchy pepperoni whispers that stay warm just underneath, consistently, strategically placed like unavoidable land mines of salty, beefy Chicago stockyard flavor. The sauce is bright, mostly sweet, a bit tangy, gently herbed, and holds the whole package together in sticky harmony.  

And somehow all this seems entirely unrelated to the fork or two-handed fare that made Malnati’s famous, back when it all started. Though the family tree is tangented and twisted, Lou himself took cues from his dad, Rudy, the proprietor of Pizzeria Uno when that establishment became the O.G. in the deep dish game. It is a simple formula: buttery crust, Wisconsin mozzarella, California tomatoes. Using a bed of triple rise yeast dough, everything is set into a high-sided anodized steel round pan, pushed to the edge and up the inside. There is a patented buttercrust option, with butter folded into said dough. This is obviously a good idea. As is, maybe more surprisingly, the build: dough, cheese, toppings, then sauce. The result is a package with a toothsome mouthfeel, one that is hard to stop working on, like you’re a baby that needs a parent to remind to finish the current bite before starting the next. The sauce acts as counterpoint icing. Tangy, chunky tomato ladles are liberally smacked atop in grandmotherly Sunday gravy bounty, bright enough to contrast the battering ram brunt of the hulk that will fill you up with 2 pieces, tops. But it’s actually not really so much a bomb. (Deep Dish is also not to be confused with “stuffed” pizza—the picture many conjure for the “its not pizza, it’s a quiche” argument against Chicago). It is a fairly reasonable crust, just with a lot of body, strength, a big back. This is pizza that gives a good hug, is a friend that you would ask to help you move. A warm, buttery element fills out the feel of the flaky-crust edges, end bites that have a little char, a little snap, not a small amount of grease. There’s a hint of burnt cheese crackeriness, making for a perfect slice-summating breadstick—especially if there’s topping and sauce fallout leftover for dipping.

But, really, the end of the day feel, the one your stomach logs with nostalgia to counter future sad salad lunches, is of an endless cheesiness, the thick milky gloss stretching and slopping around other slices, your tongue. Mixing with fennel-forward pinch-and-press sausage crumbles—the most appropriate Ditka-esque topping—these lustrous, smacky bites act like a marriage between our two worlds. Cheese and meat, teaming like there’s hope for an inner mouth symposium between two disparate cities.   

Pizano’s

Pizano's is also in the family, so to speak, Rudy Malnati Jr. having opened his family style pizza joint in the Loop some 20 years after Lou, in the early 90's.  

Rudy is Lou's half-brother, from their father’s second wife. Muddying the family tree further are offshoots like Gino’s East, whose owners hired away the original Uno cook, and Louisa’s, whose owner worked at Pizzeria Due, which was the second pizzeria opened by Uno owners Ike Sewell and Ric Riccardo, but the one that actually gave the name Uno to Uno itself. As with most 23 and Me results, drunkenly spouted at you at some Christmas-time family gathering by a relative who just took up genealogy, you'll come upon half-researched variations of all this, and then lose track. If you dig even a little bit you'll also find unsubstantiated claims that Pizano’s is Oprah's favorite pizza (it seems a clip of her referencing Chicago Magazine’s thin crust ranking has been misinterpreted and widely disseminated).  

More importantly, in this, location number six and the first outside the Chicagoland area, you have a place equally known for its deep dish and for an iconic tavern-style Chicago pizza. The same sort that has been handed out at bars around Chicago for nearly a century, the same that most pizza nerds will tell you is the true “Chicago style,” the kind that most native Chicagoans seem to prefer.  

There’s a bit of a wheaty, sourdough-y essence about the golden crust, which is sturdy, platform-y, just nearing hot-oven blackness. But it never interferes, acting mostly as an apt base for the chunky, sweet, bursting bright tomato sauce, and a liberal cheese coating that is cooked to a point approaching caramelization. Pepperoni, or the topping of your choice is spread unsparingly just below, almost around, this blanket, making for ideal bite ratios, and an overriding neat package, with an allowance for the cheese to shine and stretch, display it’s grease shimmers and finish winter-coat-y and thick.  

As such style was intended, this is also not strictly a takeout affair. In fact, quite the opposite, as Pizano’s boldly, defiantly, staked claim in the middle of downtown. At the corner of Water and Juneau, in the red-checkered tablecloth modernized old-school bar and pizza and pasta joint, a Giannis jersey stares down one of Pippen on the wall. McGlocklin sizes up D. Rose. Urlacher eyes Jordy. I drank a Milwaukee Brewing Co. Hop Happy under an Old Style neon sign while awaiting the south-of-the-border goods.  

The deep dish, whisked to your table some 30-minutes after order, in the eponymous dish itself, really relies on so many of the same pizza characteristics. In fact it’s really just like a souped-up, muscly brother. Again, not that thick, it can easily still be eaten with hands. Tomato is heaped atop cheese, inconsistently, artfully, abstractly. Fennel-flecked sausage wedges pop, whiffs of oregano abound, and a smoky earthiness from a well-seasoned, workhorse pan lingers. Cheese is double-layered, stretchy, soft but holding firm to its crust bed, lending an overwhelming profile, the heaviness just offset by acidic zest of chunky tomato brightness. Still, for the gut, it is a bit of a load: there’s an elaborate inch wall around, protecting, maintaining, like a futuristic police state rich person home security system. Truthfully, sans the Lou butter coating option, it’s actually a bit hard to know what to do when you get there. Even if you’re not the type, even if you’re not normally like this, it is easy to feel bad about the crusty carb glut you are about to grapple with. This is maybe why some, myself included, will always still lean thin. 

Then again, many see it differently. Donna Marie Malnati, mother of Rudy Jr., crust-creater of Pizano’s Pizzeria, who died this January at the age of 93, left explicit instructions for the celebration of her life: “I don’t want that damn thin-crust pizza,” Rudy said she told him. “The only thing I want served is our original deep dish sausage and cheese.” The ying-yang is all maybe ridiculously bullish, like the SNL parodying skit come to life. But caring is something to never be taken lightly. And it’s at least good to earn your opinions, to wear them on your sleeve. It's important to know who you are, where you stand. We, in Wisconsin, have football. Chicagoans have pizza. And, now, we have it too—whether you like it or not: another Lou’s is slated to open in Brookfield this summer, and, then, one in Greenfield, sometime after that.    

[jade4813]

Now that S3 has passed, what are the things you loved about this season? Didn't care for? Hated?

Well, that's a good question. I really liked a lot of the ideas for the season. The execution occasionally fell short of the mark, however. I liked the idea of Flashpoint. I know that, given the medium, it couldn't last long. I still liked the IDEA of mixing things up a bit. Not sure they did as much as they could have done with it, though.I liked the idea of two villains doing mini-arcs over both halves of the season. I think that COULD have worked better than one villain over the whole season, which is hard to sustain. Sadly, there were things they just didn't think through as well as they could have, leaving plot holes. And, more, they didn't pace Savitar's story out very well. There wasn't very much of evil Barry, and by the time of the reveal, most everybody knew who it was gonna be (and even more didn't care by that point).I liked the idea that the headlines could give them mini benchmarks to hit before the big bad, sort of bridging a gap between a Monster of the Week and the season (or half season) long Big Bad. But, again, I think those could have been more effective. Perhaps if it hadn't been approached as "this is how we save Iris" (so we know Barry has to fail or at least it has to not work) but instead as Barry now knows about these things so feels a duty to try to help and/or stop them. Then you could have small but material victories along the way to celebrate.As for the characters...Barry: I ADORED happy Barry and want more of that. I loved him as mentor to Wally. I thought there were moments he really shone and was allowed to be brilliant. I hated that they would have him be brilliant one episode (phasing an entire damn train) and then regress him the next to justify the existence of his team by having someone have to tell him, essentially, "have you tried running? Maybe try running." He did have to do a few tricky things with acting this year, playing various Barrys, and he handled all of them very well.Iris: I was THRILLED at how much she was a part of the show. After last season, when she was practically a recurring character for half of it, having her be such a big presence was WONDERFUL. I disliked that they didn't utilize her presence as well as they could (with things like journalism), and as much as I like her heart-to-hearts with Barry, they sometimes turned the conversation to him when they should have kept the focus on her (like Iris telling him she wants her life to matter as a person and he tells her he wouldn't be Flash without her. Is that an admission I'm glad he had? Yes. But not RIGHT THEN. Right then, they should have focused on the role SHE has in the world as a journalist, etc. Her legacy will always be in part that she is Barry's wife and the Flash family matriarch. But she isn't JUST that). I HATED that they so rarely let her death be ABOUT HER. (On the other hand, she did save the day in the end. So there is that.)DO.BETTER.BY.YOUR.FEMALE.CHARACTERS!I did love Westallen, even if it was occasionally frustrating. The one breakup was TV stupid but even when they did it, it was obvious why. So whatever. And I WANT THAT LOFT!Cisco: Okay, I liked that he was allowed to be angry at Dante's death being due to Flashpoint. I didn't like seeing him so dark, and it did rub me the wrong way that they made the change for him SO dire and SO permanent when I knew after the mid-season finale at BEST, it would all be forgotten and never mentioned again. I did love his relationship with Cynthia for the most part, though there was one episode that I think they didn't handle as well as they ought in that respect (Abra Kadabra). I adore him, but he doesn't have to be Barry's brain to justify his role on the show, so they could really stop dumbing Barry down on occasion to have Cisco tell him what to do. Let both characters grow out of that role please, show.Caitlin: She wasn't as MUCH about a guy's story this year as she's been in the past (though they dipped a toe in those waters). So that's a plus. And I actually think the story about her trying not to become Killer Frost and eventually becoming her anyway had potential to be interesting. It was, however, poorly handled. There are too many questions left unanswered, they had her be cavalier about her powers at times (Christmas snow, not wanting to be INCONVENIENCED by having the charge the bracelets that were presumably the only things stopping her from becoming a murderer) when they also wanted us to buy that she was terrified...they also didn't bother to give her a motivation to join Savitar at the end. She was just like "oh, cuz." And I'm afraid they won't bother giving her actions actual consequences with the team, any more than they did with the stone fragment. So.Joe: Loved him. Could have used more Joecile.Wally: I liked his journey to be a hero. Not sure I was super keen on the way he got his powers. Didn't hate it, but wasn't my favorite.HR: I guess he was funny at times. Did I care that much about him? Nope. At this point, why get attached to his characters? They'll just be gone at the end of the season and he'll play someone new the next one.Tracey: Had potential. Written way too much like a flake and came in waaaay too late to care.Jesse: I think the actress is adorable. I still think the character is a twit. Julian: I actually loved his initial antagonism with Barry. I think that's what they should have done with Patty, given her backstory, to be honest. I was disappointed he was Alchemy because it was just so obvious. His transition to team member was...eh. Maybe a little fast, but okay. They kinda did the reverse Caitlin with him, in that his story became sort of all about her, to try to make an emotional connection for the audience so we'd care when she went bad. On the one hand, that wasn't necessary - we've known this character for 3 years; if we don't care she turned bad on her own merits, a romantic subplot won't help. But on the other hand, they keep making her story about a man, so for them to make a man's story about her is at least a novel twist.

[septembersung]

Hi! I've been following your blog for some time, and was wondering what advice you would give to someone who is most likely going to be a SAHM (partially by choice). What are the best parts? Challenges? Does it get lonely?

I tried to make this short and pithy, but as they say, I lacked the time. So, to make a short story long…

I’ve been a SAHM for just three years now, so I’m not exactly a veteran yet, haha. I feel like most of my advice/whatever is aimed at my own idiosyncratic self’s past mistakes and idiocies, so you may find that none of this is relevant to you. 

The biggest things I’ve had to deal with are self-discipline/motivation and a complete lack of ability to bridge the gap between The Plan and The Reality. There’s a military saying: “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” It is amazing how hard that is for me to understand and apply in my daily life. 

The best parts are absolutely: 

1) Being with my kids. No matter how crazy I get, no matter how bad the day goes, I am immersed in my children’s doings and thoughts, and they in mine. They have been entrusted to me to raise well and lead to heaven. It is a privilege and a blessing, an honor and a duty. Intellectually, I understand that many moms/families need or have to work and therefore send their to kids to daycare. Intellectually, I understand that many moms/families cannot homeschool and so send their kids to outside school. (Most of my real life mom friends do work and plan to not homeschool, and looking at their lives, I get it.) Intellectually, I understand that my own SAHM situation is financially precarious and we are still untested in the waters of true homeschooling and I may yet end up doing both those things. But for our family, in my heart, I cannot get my inner self around the conviction that if I were to go back to work and send my kids to daycare, I would be abandoning them to someone else to raise. It tears me up just imagining it. What I’m trying to say is, SAHMing is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and my default state is to take the easy path, but even so, just getting to share the daily living with my kids - to be in their lives - that’s the crowning joy. Even though sometimes I think I’m going to lose my mind. So joy in the really Catholic sense.

2) Being a SAHM means that the work of my life, my “career,” my daily doings and most of the things my thoughts revolve around, are directly related to, involved in, or just are, the stuff of The Good Life, or the Catholic life. In a very real sense, I have the privilege of leading an undivided life: my work is my life and my family. My time and efforts don’t belong to someone else’s whim. So I ought to be really good at this by now? And yet…

Relatedly, it also means that I have - in theory, in seasons - the flexibility to pursue my interests in a way I just wouldn’t with an outside job. (Conversely, this also means there is no calling in sick. Ever.) There’s no way I’d be writing books and reading so much if I had a “real” job. I’m awful at jobs - always have been. I’ve never been able to hold one down for more than a few months. In its way, I suppose being a SAHM is my version of a bohemian artist lifestyle.

My challenges are the “drudgery” and everything that goes with it, like self-discipline and self-motivation and self-denial (read a book or clean the bathroom? Hmmmm.) I hate housework, and that is at least 90% of my job. (Bear in mind though that my oldest is only 3, and in ~6 weeks I’ll have three 3 and under. They keep telling me it gets better; you hit a magic age for the oldest one or two, and a magic number of kids, about 4, and - they say - it actually starts getting easier.) You think you know what it takes to keep a house clean, or how to arrange a cleaning schedule, until you live in your space all the time, and you have a large number of people in a small space, and you’re too morning sick or too pregnant to keep up with your schedule, or your schedule is suddenly made up of nothing but exceptions to the schedule, or you get the perfect cleaning schedule down and realize you’ve left no time for yourself to eat, or take a nap, or actually play with your kids… I’ve tried a lot of different systems. Some of them I haven’t given a fair shot, for one reason or another. But I’m starting, at long last, to get a feel for what needs to be done in general, and what we need done, and how often. But then, I didn’t grow up in a large family (only child here) or in fact doing many chores at all (I was excused most of them due to music practice and similar. Good intentions, bad plan.) My parents are also supernaturally tidy neat freaks and possessions-minimalists, while my own family is, let’s just say, not. So I started at a practical disadvantage. 

It does get lonely. But, I am also incredibly, horrendously bad at making friends and entering into a community, much less keeping up with any kind of a social schedule. So I have my own natural disadvantages along with the way modern society is set up to isolate the SAHM. (Historically speaking, women quite often lived and worked in community, with their husbands working near or at home. We’re just heading out of a marvelous Christmas break where we really got to be a family, on the heels of the hardest fall semester ever where my teacher husband was routinely working 60+ hour weeks. So my perspective is a bit skewed.) Things got better last year in terms of seeing a few friends regularly. But again with the schedule problem, and consistency. Plus I live in a very small town, go to church out of town with a community of other church commuters, and getting to The Big City is a huge budget drain. I did find a little community here that I get to see periodically; and I do have plans and options for the coming year and two years, as we really head into homeschooling. So as my kids become school-aged, it should actually get better. Probably even overwhelming, given how much I value my down time. Online helps to the loneliness thing include some major Catholic mom-blogs, tumblr, even; and there’s always books to read. 

BOOKS. Do yourself a favor, and get yourself a copy of A Mother’s Rule of Life. You won’t regret it.

There’s good information and a different scheduling approach, with very useful immediate tips, in Large Family Logistics, but the spirituality is hardcore Protestant. Not that that can’t be worth reading, but for the whole package, start with A Mother’s Rule of Life.

Practical help online: Like Mother Like Daughter. “Auntie Leila” is a delight to read. And there’s free printables (which I’ve never actually used, but, maybe someday.)

Standard disclaimer that I don’t necessarily agree with or endorse 100% of anything you’ll find in these books or blogs, just that I like them in general and they’ve been helpful to me in one way or another. 

One of the most helpful things you can do, heading into this, is to know your own weaknesses and have some idea of how to combat them. They will be pressed, exposed, magnified, in ways you can’t imagine. Another most helpful thing: be able to convince yourself, on a deep down level, that everything is temporary. Because it is. So temporary. So passing. It’s hard to believe, when things really suck, and it’s hard to remember, when you have three fantastic weeks of family-oriented vacation, that schedules and needs and to-do lists and everything just… keeps revolving. What I’m discovering - and I’ve done more of this discovering in the past, say, twelve months, than I did in the rest of my life combined - is that I’m the most successful at Doing It Right when I have some kind of solid skeleton of dos and expectations that is flexible enough to blow with the wind without falling over, but that can be dressed up or down according to the needs of the moment. 

Aha - short and pithy - it came to me at last. The top three SAHM virtues, from my experience: Patience. Prudence. Perseverance. 

I just kind of fell into SAHMing. Heck, I just kind of “fell” into my reversion and having kids - divine providence had to practically push me into Husband’s arms. I’m kind of dense that way. So this has been a complete world-upside-down series of years for me. But I would not trade it for anything. I would choose it all again. It’s hard, and it’s dirty, and everything about modern life makes it as uncomfortable as possible (except for dishwashers, God bless their inventor,) but I want to encourage more women to consider it and give it a real gung-ho chance. It’s one of the most overlooked opportunities-of-a-lifetime ever.

[flauntpage]

One Move Alone Won’t Fix the Phillies

Not sure there’s a need for a concentrated 1,000 word condemnation of your now third-place Philadelphia Phillies this afternoon. It’s pretty obvious after watching the Braves pummel an overmatched rotation and bullpen to the tune of 21 runs and eight homers over the last two nights that the Phillies just don’t stack up with Atlanta right now. I know it, you know it, and it would be seem John Kruk knows it, too:

That is… quite a laugh. Kawhi, eat your heart out. pic.twitter.com/X3goCci3f5

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) July 5, 2019

The numbers support what we all saw with our eyes this week – the Phillies probably aren’t winning this division. At 6.5 games back of the Braves, FanGraphs (2.5%), FiveThirtyEight (7%), and Baseball Prospectus (6.8%) each paint a bleak picture on the division front. Rather than specifically harp on one of the Phillies’ clear deficiencies, of which there are many, I’m just going to riff on a few things here because I’m not even quite sure where to start with this team right now.

About Last Night

After scoring all of four runs over the first 18 innings of the series, the lineup staked starter Zach Eflin with a 4-0 first inning lead last night. Phils hitters used a blend of patient at-bats to piece together six singles, setting the tone early on in what was arguably their most important game to date. Eflin protected that lead for all of five outs, and the Phillies soon found themselves trailing by three runs an inning later. Anybody that knows baseball knows that’s not good, but let me try to quantify how absolutely brutal it is in a different way:

The Phillies had a 79.3% win probability after Cesar Hernandez’s single that made it 4-0. Five outs later, the Braves had a 62.4% chance of winning the game. In a season full of poor starting pitching performances, this one really stands out.

The Starting Pitching Problem

Speaking of starting pitching, much has been said about Matt Klentak’s need to go out and trade for an arm (or three) ahead of the July 31 deadline. What has been said by fans of the team can be best be summarized as something like this:

“They need to get a f****** starter! This rotation f****** sucks!”

An understandable sentiment given the Phillies’ 4.56 ERA is good for 10th best in the National League, and it makes even more sense given it has a 5.29 ERA over the last 30 days. Much has been made, too, of their staff-wide failure to keep the ball in the yard. That problem was painfully illustrated once again last night after the Braves launched five more home runs, two off of Eflin. Phillies starters have now allowed 94 homers this season, 11 more than the next closest team (San Francisco).  Obviously, that’s not good enough, but here’s the question – are the Phillies one starting pitcher away from fixing this mess? Let’s say they replace Vince Velasquez with a deadline acquisition; is that move the difference? Even if it is, as I see it, there are currently two potential roadblocks in the Phillies’ pursuit of a starting pitcher:

Look at the standings right now. There are 21 teams currently within five games of a playoff spot. Certainly, some of those teams have differing outlooks on their playoff chances, and things can and probably will change over the next three-plus weeks, but this doesn’t appear to be a buyer’s market.

Who is the pitcher out there that can make the seismic impact needed? Guys like Tanner Roark and Andrew Cashner can probably be had at reasonable prices, I guess, but are they clear upgrades? And are those guys worth whatever prospect haul, however modest that haul may be, the team would need to ship away? Of course, the Phillies could pay a heftier price for a rental such as Madison Bumgarner, or pursue a multi-year solution such as Detroit’s Matt Boyd, but the price will be astronomical. Boyd, mind you, is in the midst of a career-year in which his current numbers far exceed his career averages, and on this market, the Tigers’ return would be substantial. Maybe the Phillies can get creative, but without including prospects such as Alec Bohm and/or Spencer Howard (which I definitely would not advise), such a deal seems unlikely.

From Start to Finish

If the Phillies do manage to improve their rotation, they will still be handing the ball over to a suspect bullpen that has a 4.90 ERA this season and a 6.52 ERA (the third-worst in baseball) over the last 30 days. The group has surrendered the sixth-most homers of any team (56) and is bottom-five in FIP (5.08), WHIP (1.49) and opponent batting average (.269). Tommy Hunter’s recent return should help, as will David Robertson’s anticipated return later this month, but it’s hard to imagine that improved health alone will bridge the talent gap that exists in their depleted bullpen.

No Offense

Before we wrap this up, let’s switch gears to the lineup, the one that received a significant overhaul this season with numerous high-priced upgrades. The one currently producing the 20th-best slugging percentage (.420), 20th-best average (.244), 19th-best OPS (.744), and for you hardcore folks out there, the 19th best wOBA (.315). For a more digestible measure of their underwhelming performance, they’re also 20th in homers (109), particularly bad when the offensive philosophy seems to predicated upon the big inning and…home runs. Hitting coach John Mallee’s fault? Maybe not, but the disappointing output produced by this offense might be the most perplexing development of the season.

Now What?

I’d like to know what John Middleton is thinking right now. After Middleton stepped up to make the Phillies’ offseason spending spree possible, I’m guessing he probably envisioned a 162-game victory lap leading into an obvious postseason appearance that included nightly sellouts and the type excitement and optimism felt by fans about the 2007-2011 teams. Instead, he woke up this morning with a 45-42 third-place underachiever that is filled with holes, and is also, quite honestly, boring. If nothing else, do fans have a connection with this team? Is this a team they feel drawn to or inspired by? What needs to happen to change this?

It’s obvious that a singular move isn’t going to push this team over the top, or give it a “jolt” that propels a 180-degree turnaround that runs deep into the National League playoffs. Pick whatever metaphor you would like – the Phillies are sort of like an inflatable raft with several holes, thus patching only one seems futile. Maybe they’re like a string of Christmas lights; half of the bulbs are out, so what’s the sense in replacing one or two? I don’t know, I’m sure there’s a better way to put it, but you get the idea. I think – and I know this is going to piss some people off – their only move is to ride this thing out, pray for improved play over the next three weeks, maybe make a conservative upgrade or two, and hope it’s enough to slip to the postseason. Unless there exists a culture-changing, franchise-altering, multi-player deal that entirely reshapes the roster (I don’t see it), this is probably all they can do between now and October. After that, Middleton and the decision-makers he employs, need to ask themselves why their previous evaluations have fallen so obviously short and what can be done to address it.

The post One Move Alone Won’t Fix the Phillies appeared first on Crossing Broad.

One Move Alone Won’t Fix the Phillies published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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MANCHESTER, England | 'Big 6' pulling further clear in top-heavy Premier League

New Post has been published on https://is.gd/K92lDd

MANCHESTER, England | 'Big 6' pulling further clear in top-heavy Premier League

MANCHESTER, England (AP) — The Premier League prides itself on being the most competitive in the world and points to Leicester’s 2016 title triumph at preseason odds of 5,000-1 as the ultimate evidence.

It might be time to revisit that opinion.

The end-of-season standings show a worrying development in England’s top division: The chasm between the so-called “Big 6” — Manchester City, Manchester United, Tottenham, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal — and the rest is bigger than ever.

Just ask the coach of the team that finished seventh.

“We all know where the top six are, and it’s not impossible — as Leicester have shown — but improbable that it is going to radically change,” Burnley manager Sean Dyche said. “That top six is going to be more or less the top six, because of the buying power, because of the power of the clubs. Outside of that, relative chaos.

“The first marker for lots of teams — probably 14, with maybe Everton on the edge of that category — is first things first, let’s collect a team that can stay in (the Premier League).”

The top six teams, led by City in record-breaking fashion, all had a goal difference of at least plus 23. City’s was a staggering plus 79. The other 14 teams finished on negative goal difference.

The gap between sixth-place Arsenal and Burnley was nine points, with another five to eighth-place Everton, whose dull brand of football under manager Sam Allardyce has been widely derided.

Leicester’s title victory two years ago embarrassed the supposed powerhouses of English football and provoked a strong response.

Last year, the top six finished eight points clear of seventh place — Everton in that case — and the gap has widened still 12 months later.

Below them is that “chaos” referred to by Dyche, who insists his priority next season is retaining Burnley’s Premier League status.

Of the teams that finished eighth to 20th, nine changed managers during the season and almost all of them were in the relegation zone or hovered around it at some point. Everton was in the relegation zone when it fired Ronald Koeman in October, for example.

Forty points used to be the safety mark for relegation-threatened team. This season, 34 points would have kept a side up.

The Premier League splits the money raised from domestic and overseas TV deals equally between the 20 teams, meaning that this season’s last-place team, Stoke, earned nearly 100 million pounds ($135 million) in prize payments from the 2017-18 campaign.

The top six are attempting to secure a bigger share of broadcast cash — arguing their matches are a bigger pull for viewers around the world — but have so far been thwarted, with rivals arguing that would erode the competitiveness of the league.

A gulf between the best and the rest has grown anyway and Arsene Wenger, the departing Arsenal manager, predicted a massive transformation in the coming years.

“The next evolution? You will certainly have a European league over the weekends,” Wenger said. “A domestic league will certainly play Tuesday and Wednesday. I think that is the next step we will see.

“It is inevitable,” he added. “To share money between the big clubs and small clubs will become a problem. The big clubs will say, ‘If two smaller clubs are playing each other, nobody wants to watch it. So we have to share the money but nobody is interested in you?’ People want to watch quality.”

This was the season that saw Huddersfield, the club with the smallest budget, beat Manchester United at home and secure draws with City and Chelsea in the final week of the season to stay up in remarkable fashion. Burnley beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on the opening weekend, and drew at Tottenham, Liverpool and United before Christmas.

But this was also the season when City’s goal difference was about three times the number of goals scored by Huddersfield (28), and when the runaway champions frequently came across opponents who were in damage-limitation mode from kickoff.

The most depressing example was Newcastle playing ultra-defensively at home against City on Dec. 27. It is hardly what global viewers, who long admire the competitiveness and intensity of English football, want to see.

Games between the top six have rarely been more engrossing than this season — the exciting brand of football played by City and Liverpool helps in that regard — but the desperation to stay in the lucrative Premier League has led to a drop in standards elsewhere.

“It’s unheard of for that many teams to all be struggling to get 40 points. That is quite rare,” Dyche said. “It proves how difficult the Premier League is becoming.”

By LARRY LAGE by Associated Press – published on STL.News by St. Louis Media, LLC(U.S)

[investmart007]

MANCHESTER, England | 'Big 6' pulling further clear in top-heavy Premier League

New Post has been published on https://is.gd/He6vtL

MANCHESTER, England | 'Big 6' pulling further clear in top-heavy Premier League

MANCHESTER, England— The Premier League prides itself on being the most competitive in the world and points to Leicester’s 2016 title triumph at preseason odds of 5,000-1 as the ultimate evidence.

It might be time to revisit that opinion.

The end-of-season standings show a worrying development in England’s top division: The chasm between the so-called “Big 6” — Manchester City, Manchester United, Tottenham, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal — and the rest is bigger than ever.

Just ask the coach of the team that finished seventh.

“We all know where the top six are, and it’s not impossible — as Leicester have shown — but improbable that it is going to radically change,” Burnley manager Sean Dyche said. “That top six is going to be more or less the top six, because of the buying power, because of the power of the clubs. Outside of that, relative chaos.

“The first marker for lots of teams — probably 14, with maybe Everton on the edge of that category — is first things first, let’s collect a team that can stay in (the Premier League).”

The top six teams, led by City in record-breaking fashion, all had a goal difference of at least plus 23. City’s was a staggering plus 79. The other 14 teams finished on negative goal difference.

The gap between sixth-place Arsenal and Burnley was nine points, with another five to eighth-place Everton, whose dull brand of football under manager Sam Allardyce has been widely derided.

Leicester’s title victory two years ago embarrassed the supposed powerhouses of English football and provoked a strong response. Last year, the top six finished eight points clear of seventh place — Everton in that case — and the gap has widened still 12 months later.

Below them is that “chaos” referred to by Dyche, who insists his priority next season is retaining Burnley’s Premier League status.

Of the teams that finished eighth to 20th, nine changed managers during the season and almost all of them were in the relegation zone or hovered around it at some point. Everton was in the relegation zone when it fired Ronald Koeman in October, for example.

Forty points used to be the safety mark for relegation-threatened team. This season, 34 points would have kept a side up.

The Premier League splits the money raised from domestic and overseas TV deals equally between the 20 teams, meaning that this season’s last-place team, Stoke, earned nearly 100 million pounds ($135 million) in prize payments from the 2017-18 campaign.

The top six are attempting to secure a bigger share of broadcast cash — arguing their matches are a bigger pull for viewers around the world — but have so far been thwarted, with rivals arguing that would erode the competitiveness of the league.

A gulf between the best and the rest has grown anyway and Arsene Wenger, the departing Arsenal manager, predicted a massive transformation in the coming years.

“The next evolution? You will certainly have a European league over the weekends,” Wenger said. “A domestic league will certainly play Tuesday and Wednesday. I think that is the next step we will see.

“It is inevitable,” he added. “To share money between the big clubs and small clubs will become a problem. The big clubs will say, ‘If two smaller clubs are playing each other, nobody wants to watch it. So we have to share the money but nobody is interested in you?’ People want to watch quality.”

This was the season that saw Huddersfield, the club with the smallest budget, beat Manchester United at home and secure draws with City and Chelsea in the final week of the season to stay up in remarkable fashion. Burnley beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on the opening weekend, and drew at Tottenham, Liverpool and United before Christmas.

But this was also the season when City’s goal difference was about three times the number of goals scored by Huddersfield (28), and when the runaway champions frequently came across opponents who were in damage-limitation mode from kickoff.

The most depressing example was Newcastle playing ultra-defensively at home against City on Dec. 27. It is hardly what global viewers, who long admire the competitiveness and intensity of English football, want to see.

Games between the top six have rarely been more engrossing than this season — the exciting brand of football played by City and Liverpool helps in that regard — but the desperation to stay in the lucrative Premier League has led to a drop in standards elsewhere.

“It’s unheard of for that many teams to all be struggling to get 40 points. That is quite rare,” Dyche said. “It proves how difficult the Premier League is becoming.”

__

By STEVE DOUGLAS, AP Sports Writer, By Associated Press – published on STL.News by St. Louis Media, LLC (A.S)

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