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kittyyycakes · 3 months ago

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🎀 Agere Story Game! 🎀

Original by lilstorygames on IG! (I think anyways; their page is private so if I’m wrong let me know and I’ll update the credit!) (Blank at bottom of post)

*This is a long one so bear with me lol

Key (in case you have a hard time seeing the image):

🩷 - Yes!

🧡 - Sometimes/maybe!

🩵 - Want to!

❤️ - No thanks!

🩷 Use pacifiers: For sure! I know real 5-8 year olds don’t typically use pacis, but they’re comforting & help me get into little space (plus they’re super cute)!

🩷 Color/draw: I love drawing both in and out of little space so this is a must for me! Coloring also reminds me of my childhood <3 (Fun fact: my favorite Crayola color is Robin’s Egg Blue!)

🧡 Use a sippy cup: Kinda?? I tried a baby bottle once before and I didn’t like how hard I had to work to drink out of the nipple :0 Might just stick with straw cups

❤️ Wear a bib: I can be a bit of a messy eater sometimes (not just in little space haha), but I don’t really feel the need to wear one

🩵 Wear a onesie: I have a few bodysuits in my closet I could try & would definitely be open to trying a onesie with a cute pattern if I could find my size!

🩷 Cuddle with your stuffies: Of course! Having a soft friend to snuggle with is always nice, especially at bedtime (I also love to snuggle with my kitty cat when he sleeps with me <3)!!

🩵 Wear oversized clothes: I would looove to get some cute oversized shirts to wear! It’s a little tricky to find oversized clothing as a fat person though, especially ones with cutesy patterns

*I don’t consider fat a bad word btw!! I self ID as fat/chubby a lot & consider it a neutral descriptor. I really hate that it’s thought of as such a negative term, but you’re still valid if you’re not comfy using it!! I will probably use it here and there in my posts when talking about myself, so keep that in mind if you follow me & if it’s too triggering for you feel free to unfollow/block if you need <3

🩵 Play dress up: 100 percent! I haven’t tried dressing up in little space yet but I love trying on & imagining cute outfit combos so this would probably be fun! The only possible downside is that sometimes when I’m little (esp if I’m feeling anxious) it makes me uncomfortable to see my grown-up body in the mirror. Anyone else experience this?

🩷 Chew on teething toys: Yeah! I don’t have any actual baby/toddler teething toys but I love my chew necklace!

🩵 Play make believe: Haven’t tried it! I don’t know that I’d do much talking (so far I’ve been a pretty quiet little- some of this is because I live with other people) but I think it could be fun to pretend to be a chef or make potions or something like that! Might be more fun with another little though…

🩵 Play with toys: Another one I haven’t tried! When I was a kid I played with toys a lot though (Littlest Pet Shop, Zoobles, My Little Pony G3, early Monster High, etc. [I wish I had kept my MLP dolls 😭]) and it could be really fulfilling to play again! (Once again this might be more fun with another little)

🩵 Cuddle with your S/O: I’m not in a relationship right now but when I am I’m hugeeeee on cuddling (Perhaps even cuddling’s #1 fan hehe)!!

🩷 Watch cartoons/movies: Absolutely! I’ve always really loved cartoons & watching lighthearted shows/movies (esp from my childhood) are sooo comforting :3 (I watched Bluey for the first time yesterday and really liked it!)

❤️ Wear a diaper: I don’t think wearing one would be physically comfortable for me- I’d rather just use the restroom (If you use diapers you’re valid though!! You’re not dirty or f*tishizing children for needing/wanting them, just remember to practice good hygiene afterward or ask your CG for help if they’re comfortable with it!)

🩷 Go on Tumblr: Yes! I definitely wanna make sure my little space experience isn’t reliant on the Internet (esp since it can be a scary/triggering place for littles) but I love looking at all the fun mood & stimboards and reading about other little’s experiences!

🩵 Have tea parties with stuffies: Never tried it! I think it might feel a little awkward or embarrassing at first since I’m not used to it (same with toys and playing pretend) but it’d be worth a shot!

🩷 Nom baby foods/snacks: Definitely! I haven’t tried baby snacks before but I love to put together little snack plates (It’s extra fun when I use kid plates- I have a bunch of fun plates from my childhood! [My fave is my pink bug plate])! I feel like it’s also encouraged me to eat more fruits and veggies since stuff like carrot sticks and strawberries work so well as finger foods :3

🩷 Have nap time/sleepy time: Yep! I think being little/having a kid-like bedtime routine has helped me fall asleep faster & relieve nighttime anxiety!

❤️ Suck your thumb: Personally I prefer my paci or chew necklace. I imagine it wouldn’t taste very good + you’ll have to deal with a wet wrinkly thumb afterwards >.< (Once again, you’re valid if you do!! Just make sure to wash your hands really good first so you don’t get sick <3)

🩵 Have a caregiver: I would really like to try and find a CG! In practice I could see myself being too embarrassed to fully lean into little space around someone (at least at first). I don’t think I would be super comfortable having an online only CG so I would have to meet someone irl (it sounds scary to be that open about agere/agedre tho!!). I also think I would have to be dating my CG for me to be fully comfortable (mostly because I don’t like to cuddle in platonic-only relationships)!

🩵 Take bubble baths: I haven’t taken a bubble bath in little space yet but I love taking them as big me! Usually I’ll light a candle, drop in some epsom salts and a bath bomb and listen to music! I also have some bubble bath mix to try out soon & may try and find a few bath friends to join me (this is another activity where seeing/being in my adult body might be a little uncomfortable though)

What are your favorites from this list?

Thanks for reading & I hope you have a great day!!

- Clover ☘️

^Robin’s Egg Blue my beloved

^Blank template! Once again credit to lilstorygames on IG

#age regression #sfw agere #agere community #agere blog #age dreaming #sfw agedre #agedre community #agedre blog #story games

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gracebethartacc · 2 years ago

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MORE PONY STUFFS YAYYYY this time I got Hcs and I wanted to draw eyes bc I had neat ideas for differentiating them/eyelash styles ! I always like when ppl put references to their cutie marks symbols in their eyes so I wanted to do that w them :3 (I still need to properly design the marks tho oof I might do that later)

Scootaloos ended up looking like button eyes on accident though oops they are supposed to be jacks bc I wanted to play into her liking games

Mintys would have been snowflakes but that would be hard to draw so I just opted for a twinkly shape I usually associate w snow/ice, also considered doing peppermint swirl eyes but I didn’t think that would fit her personality as well BUT I’d say maybe that can be used for gags or something ? I can see their eyes swirling around when she’s flustered or confused lol it sounds cute

ALSO sweetie belle don’t got any fancy eyes just bc I think either she’s a blank flank OR there’s some kind of lore thing like unicorns don’t have cutie marks just bc I want to have unicorns be rare/from a different world/have plot significance maybe idk I vaguely remember that being mentioned/implied in g3, i def wanna do something w that rainbow thing in those baby spin offs bc I always thought it was cool, I only know the surface level stuff of g3/g3.5 tho so if anyone is a g3 fan hit me up I’d love to hear infodumping/get some inspo!! ^^

also it’s not mentioned in the art but it’s more a worldbuilding thing but I thought I’d mention another idea I had was that all the buildings/environments of ponyville look/are stylized like toys?? Bc g3.5 did that and I think it’s a real cute style choice and also bc g4 was kinda cottagecore with its style so the second there was a toy marketing placement it was glaringly obvious yk (gestures to twilights castle)

anyway that’s it uhhh I would say more but this reboot interpretation whatever idea is very much only in the first stages like I’ve only had these guys for a few days but I def wanna play around with them, maybe if I expand things more I might include some g1 or g4 characters ? Like how g4 included mix of g1 and g3 characters/villains maybe I might try that just bc I’ve done that b4 in my monster high and ppg rewrite things I combined all the gens together/took the aspects I liked most, but this might be a bit tricker just bc I don’t wanna use g4 as a crutch like I wanna try something unique, hence why I chose g3 to mess around with instead just bc a lot of ppl opt to rehash g4 instead plus I like the g3 character designs a lot :3

oof this got kinda long idk I just wanted to ramble abt pony thoughts shrugs ok bye

#mlp #mlp g3 #mlp redesign #my little pony redesign #my litte pony #mlp g3.5 #This has been SO fun like GOD I MISSED CUTSEY STUFF LIKE I LOVE ANGST AND LORE BUT MAN I MISSED DOING WHOLESOME ART 😭#like anytime I’ve drawn or thought abt these guys I get so happy like aaaawwwgggghhhfddhgfsdfp i love you pony show

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quibbs126 · 2 years ago

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Uhh hey so

I kind of want to make some Cookie Run fankids, so if anyone has any requests for what ships…I’ll do it. So long as the ship isn’t weird (you know, no incest or ships with adults and children)

I feel like this is an…odd request from me, but if you’ll indulge me

So when I first really started getting into the Internet and fandoms, I think the main ones I got into were Sonic and My Little Pony, and both of those fandoms, at least at the time (this was around mid 2010s), I’m pretty sure people know that fankids are pretty common in both fandoms. I also saw art for Ninjago that had fankids (though I think it was mostly MaylovesAkidah), so I just assumed that in fandoms, it was just commonplace to draw fankids of the characters you like

And I know for Sonic, I did just that, I made a whole plethora of fan kids. Heck I even have some old art of all my characters (if you ever want to see it, I’ll post it, for a while it was like my magnum opus). I remember I think I also did this for My Little Pony, but it was a few years later and mostly for fun, but I know I definitely also did this for Ninjago. Honestly my Sonic and Ninjago fankids were some of my first real characters to make and they hold a special place in my heart

Later on, I realized that this isn’t a thing all fandoms do, but it’s still something I enjoy, it was basically my roots.

Only problem is, I’m usually not in a fandom where something like that is really feasible. Take Professor Layton for example, you can’t really do a lot of fankids for that fandom, since there really isn’t that many ships. Though I think another part of the problem is that as time goes on, I find myself shipping less and less. Yes I still like ships, but I tend to not personally have ones that I ship (it might just be my indecisiveness, it might be because I find myself less and less interested in romance in general, it might just be in this particular case that I always feel like I don’t know the characters well enough to pick one or the other). So in general I just don’t don’t make them anymore, though I still love to do it

Here though, with Cookie Run, I do have a fandom where this is feasible, it’s just that I don’t know what to make art of. Plus to be honest, I’m a little intimidated, since in my head, it’s a bit of an odd thing, especially for this account, since I’ve never done it on here, but I thought “might as well just put it out there”

So I’m just asking for ships for fankids to create

Yeah

#I don’t know why I’m nervous asking this #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ovenbreak #can be a Kingdom or Ovenbreak ship I don’t mind #and what the heck I’ll do oc x canon if you want #just send me the character info if you do #art requests #oh I probably should have mentioned this before but requests are always open #it’s just that when I first mentioned that it was back when I was relatively small in the Layton fandom #probably should have reiterated that but I digress #random stuff

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moonlightkitkat · 11 months ago

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So some backstory with this piece:

For YEARS I’ve tried to allow myself to just have fun drawing silly things. I’ve wanted to draw cute things like My Little Pony but I always felt intense shame about it cause I’m an adult and I felt pressured to draw ✨masterpieces✨. Every year I’ve told myself “it’s okay, just draw what you want!” But I’ve never been able to get out of my head and just do it.

This year though, I had the idea of: what if the destiny trio went to worlds that WERENT Disney? Which is really just an excuse to go back to my favorite childhood shows and draw crossover art.

Here’s why I drew the trio the way I did:

Sora’s a Pegasus because he has SO MUCH energy. I think he would love flying around and he’d be very fast too! I’ve been playing Dream Drop Distance so I was thinking of Flomotion, and that played into him being a Pegasus.

Originally I wanted Riku to be a Pegasus too, but then I thought about him having to use a keyblade. Sora can wield it in his mouth, cause he did it when he was a lion, but could Riku? Could Kairi? I decided that no, they couldn’t, so they’re unicorns solely so they can use their keyblades and magic.

I considered making Kairi an Alicorn because she’s a Princess of Heart, but I remembered the magic is meant to make them blend in, so that wouldn’t work. Plus, just cause she’s a princess doesn’t make her the most important creature in every realm, so I let her just be a cute unicorn.

My headcanons for if the Destiny Trio somehow made it to ponyville

#my art #kingdom hearts #my little pony #diving into the heart of art

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hellsfanatic · 3 years ago

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darry’s birthday :)

characters: darry, pony, tim (mentions of others like parents and curly)

words: 985

I’ve always kept the letters I was sent. Letting go of something someone spent time to send to me or even just to give me wasn’t right. You wouldn’t toss a beautiful drawing your sister sent you after glancing over it would you? No, you wouldn’t. So I kept each one I got.

They sat in a box up at the corner of my closet, collecting dust until Christmas or my birthday came around and a couple new additions would be added. Usually it was just Grandma and Grandpa, plus whatever my parents gave me. They wouldn’t be giving me a card this year. On birthdays there was a chance you’d get one from a friend, so hope wasn’t at all lost of using that box. Plus, Pony usually threw a handmade one together. Just a piece of paper folded in half with whatever he wanted to say.

So one of those days came along. My birthday. A pretty average day now, my childhood was long gone and it took those parties and time set aside for gifts with it. I didn’t mind much, really. I woke up, got ready, grabbed something to eat, and was on my way to work. Just like any other day. Work came and went. Just like any other day. I came home to chatter in the house. Just like any other day.

Two of the Shepard’s stopped by, not unusual by any means, just not a day to day thing. Curly’s voice paired with Pony’s conversation from the small crack left in his bedroom door. A little more usual. Tim didn’t look like he’d been around the house very long, he was just looking around. Maybe he was checking on his brother. Beats me.

“Darry,” he said with a grin, turning to face the door—and me. “Happy birthday babe.” He tugged me to his side with an arm around my shoulder.

Leaning in a bit more, I let myself smile. I didn’t even remember when he would’ve found out my birthday. At a time he’d care enough to remember at least. “Thanks Tim.”

Most people had gone elsewhere by 10:30 tonight, they’d given some happy birthdays and we hung around for a while, but they had other things to do too. My brothers and the two Shepard’s were left, and Tim was making his way to the door. He’d said his goodbyes to me and said something to his brother, who was still in Pony’s room and was staying.

Once the door shut and Tim was gone, Pony’s door opened. His eyes darted around the room, landing on me just before he started coming towards me.

“Hey Pone,” I looked up at him from my spot on the couch.

He handed a card to me. “Happy birthday Dar.” He sat down next to me, watching as I parted the folded paper and skimmed the words. The front of the card was awful pretty too. He didn’t like a big blank page as an opener, he never left it empty. There was this gorgeous scene on a snowy and iced-over winter lake on this one. The prettiest shades of blue scattered across the page and grays paired with them.

I showed a smile, looking to him from the card. “How long did you spend on this Pony?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I worked on it when I was bored. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, thanks bud.”

And he was off to his room again. I had another card for the box.

I pulled the box down later on in the night when everyone was asleep, or at least was away in their rooms until morning. Cards from last year’s birthday—the one from Mom and Dad specifically—laid on the top. God, that was really the last one. I didn’t even know it at the time.

Letting out a breath, I sat on the edge of my bed and picked up the card from the box. I stared at the cover, probably longer than I had to, before I was ready to look back into the past with them. Mom’s cursive letters covered the white background, telling me all about how proud she and Dad were and how they loved me. She told me about my sixth birthday and all the memories she had with me on it. She said she hoped that birthday was just as good and that she already couldn’t wait for the next. She’d have to wait an eternity before she could even think about spending any day with us. The last thing, at the bottom corner, their signatures. The whole card was Mom’s writing, but that little mark from Dad brought it all together.

Small trembles from my hand made it harder and harder for me to reread the card. I hated remembering all of it. I hated how it hurt. I hated that I couldn’t have these two people love their son like they did while they wrote that card. I hated that they couldn’t love me anymore. Not in any way I’d know.

I poured the box out on my bed, picking up each one and remembering more. Hating more. Loving more. I read them all. Over and over and over. All until the tears threatening my eyes weren’t threatening anymore but rather going freely in hard, silent sobs. Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, some old friends that would hate who I am now. Memories from when I was someone I would hate now. They were all written in ink, lead, hell even some in wax from crayons. I wanted to keep reading until dawn, I wanted to read until the sun burned into my still-sobbing eyes, I wanted to read until they felt real. No amount of looking back could bring them here for next year, but that wouldn’t stop me from trying to make it feel like they were here.

#the outsiders #darrel curtis #tim shepard #ponyboy curtis #curtis parents #the outsiders fanfiction #my writing

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carbonatedjem · 3 years ago

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So i don’t usually post unfinished stuff, especially on my public accounts. But eh i’ll make an exception for Tumblr at least. So i originally started sketching this comic months ago after I had binged the entirety of My Little Pony in a Week followed by a decent amount of Equestria Girls (still need to watch the rest of it though). All that time shipping Frosen Steel of course gave me an instant shine to the idea of a Mane 6, (or in the case of EG I guess it’s the Mane 7) in a poly relationship. Around the same time I also saw like, two cute pictures of Trixie and Maud and was sold on that. So I just sorta mashed it all together into a single comic. I want to draw a lot more MLP Art because it’s honestly one of my favorite cartoons from the previous decade after binging it, and Equestria Girl hits my niche like crazy. Originally I wanted to finish this first before i did any other mlp art but than like, tseveral months passed by and now i’ve been putting a lot of focus towards making my dream webcomic into a reality so i need to focus on smaller projects (plus motivation for this comic specifically have lowered from time). I hope ya’ll enjoy this though! I always love drawing cute shipping content of this nature and i really hope this brings a smile to someones face. I hope i tag this right, and sorry if the sketch quality is a bit rough!

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arielana · 3 years ago

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Yeah, I don’t know what this is. It came from the tiny RNM teaser in TV insider - I was grumpy that basically all the info we got was about Liz’s lab partners abs (not that grumpy, but you know).

Anyway, I wrote this, about Liz and Michael bonding. Just really silly.

A warning that there is drinking.

____

“Michael!”

“Ortecho, seriously why are you calling me at this hour?”

“I need you to take some time off. Come to California.”

“Sure thing, I’ll pack my little overnight bag and swing right by. I’ve been dying to do some sightseeing.”

“Yeah yeah, funny. I don’t have time for all that. Look I’ve discovered something, here in the lab, that might be relevant to your interests. I can’t get a sample out, but if an old friend from Roswell comes to visit I could give them a tour of the lab. So, just get your ass over here.”

***

That had been two days ago. Michael had some work he’d promised Sanders to finish first and he refused to fly (the thought of airport security freaked him out) so he’d set off in his truck after finishing up at Sanders the next day. He’d driven through the night, arrived very early in the morning and checked into a motel Liz had recommended that was close to her work.

After getting some sleep and showering he was now standing in the fancy lobby of the Genoryx building, feeling slightly overwhelmed but doing his best not to show it. His cowboy swagger usually worked in most places so he figured it would do ok here as well.

Just to test it, he leaned slightly against the counter and threw the receptionist who had told him Liz would be right down a little smile. Judging by the way she blushed, he wouldn’t do too bad here either if he felt like it. Not that he did feel like it. There was really only one person’s company he wanted and since that wasn’t available to him currently, he focused on other things.

“Mikey!”

Liz came bouncing down the stairs, running straight up and jumping into his arms to hug him.

She had a certain energy that always put Michael in a better mood, even the times when she annoyed him. There was never any bullshit with her.

“Hey Ortecho,” he grinned. “Good to see you.”

“Good to see you too. Would have been even better if you got here sooner,” she bumped her shoulder lightly into his when he put her down, “but it’s great that you’re here.”

Before Michael could ask what all the fuss was about, he noticed a guy had followed Liz and was now hanging back, waiting to be introduced.

Noticing Michael’s look, Liz spun around, waving the guy forward.

“Heath, come meet Michael. Michael, meet Heath. He’s my colleague from the lab. We do all our work together.”

Michael thought he picked up a little something in the way Heath looked when Liz said “colleague”, but he wasn’t sure. He was a good looking guy, tall, athletic, not the stereotypical scientist. Not that Michael cared much for stereotypes, so he shouldn’t apply them to others either, he reminded himself.

“So, we’re just about to go out for lunch,” Liz said. “Do you mind if Heath joins us?”

“Of course not.”

Michael was pleasantly surprised by how fun and relaxed lunch was. Small talk had never really been his thing, but science small talk was a whole other thing he realised. That’s why he had enjoyed hanging out with Liz back in Roswell, and Heath, despite looking more like an actor or model, turned out to absolutely be able to hold his own in the discussion.

After lunch things didn’t go quite as Liz had planned though. Her boss was apparently giving some other people a tour that afternoon and even if he kindly offered Michael to join them as well, Liz quickly switched gears.

“Actually Michael was yawning his way through lunch,” she ignored Michael’s little huff. “He pretends he’s fine but he’s had a long drive. He’s staying for a couple of days anyway, there’s no rush.”

She grabbed Michael’s arm firmly and dragged him towards the exit.

“Really Liz, I was planning on going back home tomorrow,” Michael complained, without putting any real force behind it. “This isn't really my scene.”

“Oh knock it off, Michael. You were practically beaming at lunch, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself. And look, it’s just one more day. Tomorrow’s Friday so there’ll be less people around. We’ll do a tour in the afternoon. I’ll make up something to keep Heath busy, won’t be a problem.”

“So for today,” she continued, “how about you get some more sleep, and then we can go out tonight, eat something, have a few drinks. Maybe some dancing,” she winked at him.

“Drinks yes, dancing no, but sure, I don¨t mind checking out the bars here.” Michael gave Liz a considering look. “So tell me, is Heath coming?”

“What, no, why would he?”

Aha, judging by the brief flush of red on her cheeks, there was definitely something going on there, Michael noticed. Maybe something to explore later. He could be a good brother and try to get some more information. Max was certainly asking enough questions about him and Alex, looking at Michael with those big puppy eyes, acting hurt when Michael snapped at him. This could be payback (helping Max out, Michael corrected himself).

Dinner continued in the same way as lunch, with them geeking out about new research and theories (careful to steer clear of any alien references while in public) covering everything from global warming to medical advances.

Afterwards they continued on to a bar and after a couple of drinks Michael figured Liz had let down her guard enough for him to do some digging.

“So, Ortecho… tell me about Heath?”

“What?” Liz said with feigned innocence.

“Just wondering, I mean he’s really fit, dark hair, smart, funny, exactly what I look for, in both men and women,” he winked at her.

“Michael!” Liz sounded scandalized

“Unless he’s taken, of course”

Liz twisted uncomfortably in her seat. “It feels weird talking to you about this.”

“Why?” Michael smirked at her, raising his eyebrows. He enjoyed this. He never really got to have a bro moment with anyone growing up. Too busy not letting anyone come too close. But Liz, she got it, she was the same as him in so many ways.

“Hey. no judgement here. Tell me, is he really as jacked as he looks?”

Liz sighed deeply, before giving up and leaning back with a dreamy expression on her face.

“He really is. Seriously, his abs are amazing. Not that that kind of thing is really important to me of course,” she hurried to add, “but it’s just- nice.”

“So, Valenti,” Michael pulled a face,” Diego, this Heath guy. I see you also prefer dark hair but other than that I really don’t see that many similarities to Max?”

“You know,” Liz took a sip from her drink, clearly deflecting, “from the stories I heard about you before, you know, everything,” she waved her hands vaguely, “I was under the impression it was mainly blondes that you were dragging home from the Pony?”

Michael shrugged. “That was just sex. But then again,” he added consideringly, “I’ve only ever been in two relationships. So they were both dark haired, but that’s not enough to draw a conclusion based on statistics, maybe it’s just coincidence.”

Liz's gaze sharpened. “Relationships, huh?”

It was Michael's turn to try to deflect. ’Hey, see if you can flag down the waitress, I need another beer.”

“In a minute.” Liz tilted her head questioningly, “I wasn’t aware you considered what you had with Alex an actual relationship?”

Michael hesitated. He knew Liz could probably read him like an open book right now, but he also knew that if he said he didn't want to get into it she’d respect that and let it go. For now at least.

But he’d said more than once that he was tired of keeping secrets. Liz was a friend and it would actually be nice to talk to someone.

“If we’re really going to talk about this I’m going to need another drink.”

“Me too,” Liz thought about it for a second. “Tequila?”

“Tequila.”

An hour later they were both just giggly messes.

Michael had shared his and Alex's story over the years, Liz had opened up about the shock of seeing Max again and they had bonded over how no amount of distance or years really made the feelings go away. It had been very emotional once the tequila kicked in. They had both shed some tears and comforted each other.

At this point in the evening however, they had gone full circle and were back to discussing abs again and both blushing.

“Maybe we should just tell them,” Liz said.

“Yeah, they’d hate that. You’re safe here, but I have to go back. If Alex doesn’t get to me first and give me the ‘Guerin, you’re such a disappointment’ look, Max will give me a lecture about ‘upholding personal boundaries, Michael’. Both a total pain in the ass.”

“Ok, let’s take a selfie and send as well then. If they see our sweet faces they can’t be mad.”

“Ortecho, I think you dropped your logic somewhere on the way here.”

“Come on, you said the two of you are at a stalemate right? Since Alex broke up with Forrest?”

Michael made a face.

“This will give things a nudge,” Liz said. “Plus it’s sent from my phone so you can deny all knowledge of it.”

“Have you met Alex?”

Liz just waved her phone at him. Michael swallowed.

He wasn’t drunk enough not to know that this maybe wasn't the smartest idea, but it was kind of tempting anyway. Just to see how Alex would react.

“Yay,” Liz pulled him in for a selfie, instructing him to make his best puppy eyes before adding the text to the picture and pressing send.

Just so you know, you both have really good abs as well. We love your abs very much. Xoxo, Liz and Mikey

It took no time at all before both their phones started buzzing with an incoming call.

#roswell new mexico #michael guerin #liz ortecho #malex #echo #just some silliness about liz and michael bonding #rnm spoilers #maybe i mean it’s really the most insignificant of spoilers so i didn’t think about it first

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miraculouscontent · 4 years ago

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Asks I got about the “Marinette makes mistakes” tweet:

i-would-rather-be-a-fairy said:

I’m starting to think that the writers don’t particularly like Marinette.

Did Marinette spill coffee on the laps of the writers and they’ve been salty ever since? Because that’s all I can imagine.

Anonymous said:

Is there ANY episode where Marinette doesn't make a mistake and has to learn a lesson? There has to be right?

I feel like there must be? Like, “Silencer” at minimum, but I guess maybe they thought that her trying to combat Roth was her mistake and it got Luka akumatized? It wasn’t portrayed as a mistake though exactly?? (If anything, it just looked like her being awesome, and Luka being akumatized ultimately led to Roth being outed on some level, so it all worked out.)

Even episodes like “Stormy Weather” that really don’t need to be about her mistakes shoehorn in a line about “I should never have left Manon” (if she had, she would’ve been in the ice dome instead of Alya, but okay I guess; dialog choices in this show are so weird).

It really puts episodes into perspective knowing that they have to force Marinette screwing up/learning/apologizing in every episode.

Anonymous said:

Just curious about that Shanghai tweet: were you the one who sent it? I know there are other people who notice Marinette's unfair treatment, but I just wanted to know if you've ever reached out to Thomas Astruc personally.

Nah, that wasn’t me, I don’t use Twitter.

Plus, if that had been me calling Astruc out, I wouldn’t have blurred the name. I’d want full credit.

Anonymous said:

I am so irritated by Thomas Astruc's tweet. Do they even realize they're sacrificing Marinette's character and positive Chinese representation to make her chase after a boy and THEN get blamed for it? Yes, you read that right, a bunch of white men in a room decided that a Chinese heroine doesn't deserve to celebrate or learn more about her culture because she's in love with a white boy(who knows more about her own culture than her) and they need to use her as a punching bag. Ugh. At this point?

I am just completely done with the show. Yes, you heard me. DONE! Because the writers have admitted that their entire show is based around their main protagonist suffering, when it SHOULD be about "girl power". I'm not saying Marinette is NEVER allowed to make mistakes, be clumsy, or learn a lesson, but when the writers will literally REFUSE to let her develop and force her to always be in the wrong against ALL LOGIC, that's where I draw the line. As it stands, I can't recommend this show to any one.

I'm pretty much only watching because I don't like to leave shows unfinished(although there are shows I've simply stopped watching, this is the only one I've seriously been following to this extent since it started), and for the few Lukanette moments/other rare moments of Marinette being happy. Because the writers have NO RESPECT for their main character, have ADMITTED as much, and don't see a problem with it, or why everyone is upset. Oh, and they'll block you if you disagree with them.

I really wish I could’ve been in the writing room the day they said, “Hey, let’s make it so our biracial representation is always the one that screws up and has to learn a lesson/apologize for it!

Anonymous said:

I know comparison is not the best way to say why something is good or bad, but I think "Miraculous Ladybug" is as controversial as it is because "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" (a show I watched almost religiously for the first 4 Seasons) did the Lesson Of The Week so much better and came first.

I watched that show for a little over four seasons and I can confirm that the lessons were way more spaced out and balanced (though personally I feel like Dashie got the shaft on most of hers).

Keeping its rules like Miraculous would be like if Twilight was the only one allowed to screw up.

Anonymous said:

Disney's baby tv show "Sofia the First" genuinely deals with the "mc makes mistakes" so well. Initially, the main character is more prone to making mistakes (even if she’s generally well-meaning and kind), but she actually consistently applies her lessons and grows with them. At some point clearly the writers saw that this character’s development is complete; there is nothing more they can do with her because, due to applying her lessons, she is emotionally mature enough to handle anything they throw her way. Then they made a genuinely smart choice to commit latter seasons to having the mc become a literal guardian of the realm who travels to help other people solve their issues by applying the lessons she has already learned.

The show has a big cast of characters and distributes the lessons equally amongst all of them, as well as having many episodes, even in earlier seasons, where the main character actually /is/ in the right, and the lesson acknowledges that. TBH the show’s ability to consistently develop characters in an episodic format, as well as not disrespecting any of them and being written w/ heart, is impressive. Freaking Thomas Astruc wishes.

THAT WAS BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED; MARINETTE LEARNING LESSONS AND THEN BEING A “GUARDIAN” TO HER FRIENDS AND HELPING THEM LEARN TOO.

ugh, and instead it’s just--nope, she always screws up because it’s the rule

Anonymous said:

WAIT WHAT WAS MARINETTE'S MISTAKE IN NEW YORK?? WANTING ADRIEN TO GO??

APPARENTLY???

Or arguing with him mid-battle but can you honestly blame her after he betrayed her trust like that??

Anonymous said:

“It’s the rules of the show she makes a mistake and learns” SIR it’s season FOUR

I think we were meant to read it as, “a season 4 making Marinette screw up again even if she didn’t actually screw up.”

elflynns-horde-of-stuff said:

So the rule of 'Marinette must always make a mistake and learn something' inspired a little rant. I hope you're okay with this! Because it's usually a good thing for tv shows to have a rulebook for their stories, but they have to be GOOD rules. And this (awful) rule is easily fixed! Which makes it even more frustrating to me!

First. Replace 'Marinette' with 'A character' that way multiple characters get focus and development throughout the series. (At least the would if status quo wasn't God.)

Second. Why does all if Marinette's mistakes have to be huge? Why can't she use the wrong fabric for a design, research, and correct it? Or pronounce a Chinese word wrong and learn more about the language? Or use the wrong ingredient for Guardian related magic? If she has to be learning something every episode, why not allow her to develop skills and hobbies? Why make her miserable, anxious and guilty all the time? What purpose does it serve?

It is moments like this, where I am reminded how much potential this show has in better hands. Marinette deserves so much better it breaks my heart!

It breaks my heart too and I agree!

I dunno, the rule is so restrictive. It’s not that all restrictions are bad but this one specifically is crippling.

#category: salt #character: Marinette Dupain Cheng #other: ask and answer

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ask-the-cosmic-duo · 3 years ago

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//Vent warning.

//I’ll be honest, I’m not sure if I can gain much of a following without being an artist. I’ve never seen a pony ask blog, or any ask blog at all for that matter, that did things entirely in text. And the thing is, I’ve wanted to try drawing before. But… I just don’t see myself as an artist. I’m not always a patient person. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like waiting. And that directly conflicts with how it’ll take time for me to be able to create good art, or even find a style I like. Plus, I’m worried that it might also be kind of expensive… I’m just not sure what to do.

//I like to make people happy. Sometimes, that’s by just talking to them. Sometimes, it’s by playing games or roleplaying. Sometimes, it’s by entertaining them, as bad as I am at that. I just want to make people smile. But that can be hard. Really hard. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. But when it came to entertaining people, I never knew, and still don’t know, how to do it well. I don’t think I’m particularly good at anything aside from remembering things about fictional worlds that I like. Things like how Cyber Formula’s AKF-0/G2 only appeared in the games and never on TV, at least as far as I know. Things like how the Cyclone’s first and only appearance to my knowledge was Sonic Adventure 2, as the mech that Tails uses, which doubles as a plane and (somehow) triples as a car. Random facts that most people don’t care about, especially if they have no interest in the source material said facts are referring to.

//I guess what I’m trying to say is… I feel lost. I want to continue this blog, but I’m not sure how. I don’t want to make someone else draw for me, especially seeing as how I have no way of paying them. And in the same vein, I don’t think I can afford the supplies needed to create digital art. I’m not even sure I have the self-discipline needed to commit to drawing. So… I feel lost.

#vent #feeling lost #shower thoughts

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glitteronadumpsterfire · 4 years ago

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I'm a fucking wreck rn I haven't been sleeping for a week and I'm getting some rest from the bullshit factory that is my brain only now, but I just wanted to say that last year for me has been saved by tumblr and all the friends I made along the way.

Before you go below the cut, a special thanks goes to the Bee Movie Anon, who, rightfully, I can't tag so I have to say it here in the hope that they'll see it. Your hunger for chaos made me feel a lot of emotions, and I'd have never in any time or space thought that the Bee Movie would be such a prominent part of my life as it is now thanks (read it with a note of sarcasm) to you. Thank you for providing us an infinite amount of both entertainment and suffering, hell, some of the friends I made were because of YOU. I'm still not sure what was your drive to go and start this absurd crusade for the bee movie in the 80s metal fandom, but I don't know, I don't think bee so, I'm not gonna question your ways.

@arnold-layne being the first in line, you kept me sane somehow in the first phases of quarantine and dedicated a lot your time to talk with me and helped me enormously with creativity. If it wasn't for you, that Cyberpunk Comic That Is Kinda Inspired By The Crüe and Shout At The Devil would've been already down the drain. I would've given up probably, because I didn't know how to exted the concept and have an actual plot. A dream that I've been having for literal years wouldn't even have such cool characters with a rich storyline if it wasn't for you. I know I kinda left it after a month or so of intense brainstorming with you, I was literally drained at that point both physically and mentally, but oh boy I haven't forgot about the characters that WE created. How could I after all? Russ being the wreck of a tormented junkie protagonist that he is, Dylan the happy-go-lucky fuck up that seems to do nothing right but with the best intentions, Frankie the runaway sassy and wary androgynous teenager whose gender is a mystery even to themselves, and the epitome of the found family trope, ex gov agent part Japanese, part Russian, part cyborg Vik, whose story isn't still clear yet but we'll give him a very good one, eventually.

You gave me the curiosity to read fanfiction again after literally NINE YEARS of being distant from that part of the fandom and honestly I don't regret it one bit. In fact, I discovered literally my favorite writer in fanfiction. That is you, Arnold. I don't care how frequently you write, I don't care if sometimes you can't do your best. I'll always be there waiting for the next chapter and I'll always think that your art is sublime. I'll have to admit, I don't read your works as often as I should. But it's because I love them so much that I want to always save for later. It's like a drug, or a delicious cake that you want it to last as long as possible so you can enjoy it for much longer (I should be reading your fic more often either way tho like, at least so I can make more art for it. I'll make sure to change that this year and give you the recognition you deserve 🖤).

Everytime I make art, everytime I make a post, I always wait for your name to pop in my notifs. And fuck if I'm happy when I see it, and I rush to read your tags and it always makes my day. Like seriously, you mean so much to me and I admire how you can still be any amount of sane with all you're going through. You're strong as hell, keep going. 🖤

@i-dont-like-rice dude, how can I explain it. You're my best bud here. You're my chaotic sibling from another mother. The other braindead I share the single braincell I have with. The Nikki to my Tommy. Or the Tommy to my Nikki, I'm still not sure which of us is which (I guess I'm Nikki and you're Tommy? lmao it's ironic how even them are an italian and a balkanian) but you get the point. Every interaction we have, I laugh my ass off till my whole body hurts every time. I think I worried my mother and annoyed my sister at least a couple times for bursting out laughing for five minutes straight out of the blue, especially if it was late at night, and all the times, I swear it was because of you. You are as chaotic as you are kind, and it's always so disarming to see you worry or take care of others when you are definitely in a worse situation. Please, be more selfish, goddammit. For your own sake. And be more confident of your art. Draw shit and post it. Who cares if it's not perfect and you hate it and you don't want anybody to see it, it's tumblr, nobody will ever reblog it or give you the well deserved recognition anyway! So it's worth a try isn't it?

@no-stone-no-bone seriously, I'm so glad I met you. You're like the third element of chaos that holds me and Andi together. All three of us are literally unstoppable. You're extremely sweet too and I wish you the best, and DON'T HIDE SHIT IN THE TAGS GODDAMMIT 😂

@white-lightning-625 @viiinceneil I know we really haven't talked much, and we met through unfortunate times, but I'm so glad that something good came out of the chaos and drama, which is being able to talk to you and getting to know you both better. And the fics. My god, the fics. Frankie, I already told you this but MY GOD. I still find it incredible that I've read a fic about a band I didn't even know what they looked or sounded like and I was HOOKED from start to finish. And Katie, I should definitely read more of your works because I love what you've got going on. You're both very sweet and talented with a very distinct, beautiful way of writing and I can't wait to sink my teeth into the pulp of your work, because I know that by now I only scratched the surface.

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands Bruh, conoscere una fan su tumblr the parla la MIA STESSA LINGUA (e che ha pure il mio stesso vero nome lmao cosa sta succedendo)??? Che concetto innovativo!!! Le nostre conversazioni sono sempre disgiunte, ma non importa, adoro ogni nostra interazione. Sei seriamente una delle persone più dolci e gentili che abbia mai conosciuto. La tua creatività stimola sempre la mia. Le tue moodboard sono sempre 👌👌👌 e ogni volta trovo sempre qualcosa che sì, ci avevo pensato, ma mai nel modo in cui lo poni tu, e di solito sono una persona che resta vicina alle proprie idee, ma tu riesci a farmi alterare prospettiva, e trovo questo meccanismo mentale molto affascinante. Ti ricordi lo swapped instruments AU, con Tommy come cantante, no? Giuro che è un concetto a cui penso ancora dopo mesi. Spero di avere la capacità mentale per tradurre quell'idea in arte il prima possibile, perché cazzo, lo adoro troppo

@tattooed-lies thank you for providing the fandom the best gifs in the fucking platform and thank you for giving us the vinikki content that everyone, even if they're not aware, deserves and needs. Thank you for being the only Vince stan that I know. Thank you for being the sweetest person alive 💖

@nbtommylee honestly, I wish I was cool like you. Your sense of humor is impeccable, much like your critical thinking. I have never read something from you that wasn't a valid point. You don't talk shit and that's extremely sexy of you, y'know? And having a "gender dysphoria buddy" to be jealous of our Rockstar Gender Of Choice with is always fun to have, so that's definitely a plus. Can't wait to see (and read!) more of your art, I just love your style so much and you deserve to be Known

@metalmelkor @emometalhead @polka-dot-duff I'm always so happy to see you in my notifs and y'all are oh so very sweet and cool, we haven't talked much but I love every interaction we have, sorry for having the social skills of a stale piece of white bread 🖤

A special thanks goes to @awesomgrlgr8job bc you're literally one of my very first mutuals since I made the decision to make this dumpster fire of a blog and holy shit it's crazy to think about that. I don't even know if we ever interacted that much but it's always such a joy to see you around, ily and I hope you're doing well and thanks for putting up with my clownery for so long 💖

Like seriously, thank you all. I don't even know where I would be without you. Here's to another year of chaos, but only of the good kind 💖

#witchy.txt #I didn't think I would've rambled so much ahshdhjfjf I'm so sorry you have to go through all that #there are a lot of people I could've mentioned but we never really talked so I wouldn't have much to say #but believe me when I tell you that I love seeing you on my dash and in my notifs #I really mean that #and I hope y'all are doing well bc ily 💖

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pagingevilspawn · 4 years ago

Text

Loving You Is A Losing Game- chapter seven

i actually hate this, so ew. but i’ve forgotten that i write, so i’ll try to type some stuff up tomorrow! regardless, i hope everyone enjoys! click here to read on ao3.

TW// domestic abuse

~*~

"small town boy in a big arcade. i got addicted to a losing game."

~*~

alexandra: you do realize how crazy that sounds right?

joseph: it's not crazy at all if you ask me.

alexandra: jo, asking for lollipops for your christmas present sounds very crazy to me.

and christmas isn't for like, a while.

joseph: dude, christmas is in two weeks and one day

and plus, i'm settling on lollipops. what i really want is a pony, a shiny, pretty one with rainbow hair, you know those? that's my dream right there

alexandra: oh crap really?

yeah yeah, ha ha. laughing so much right now.

joseph: hate to break it to you, but it's the 10th alex.

and i know, what a shame i wont be able to have my pony. it was at the top of my list this year

next to an ice cream sundae the size of manhattan, obviously.

alexandra: very funny. can't you tell how much i'm laughing.

crap, got to go, robbins is letting me in on an esophageal atresia on a newborn. i'm her favorite you know.

joseph: ugh, lucky.

make sure to kick ass and not kill anyone. that would suck.

actually... your big head could use some ego deflating. make sure robbins has to save you halfway through. maybe then you'll earn some humility.

alexandra: wow, you're such great help. so nice too.

joseph: you know it ;)

she turns off her phone, a small smile on her face as she looks out the window, passing by houses that all looked exactly alike; white exteriors with a bright green lawn. the only thing that could help someone tell them apart was the door colors. her and paul had just come back from a dinner with some of his coworkers, but he wasn't talking to her so she decided to text alex. the silence in the car was tense, though she was unable to grasp the reason why.

they'd been texting non-stop since the conference three weeks ago, talking about each other's days, complaining about annoying coworkers and classmates. they really enjoyed having a friend they could just talk to because they felt like it. it was refreshing. they'd never had anyone like that before. in the past they had friends that they felt comfortable around, but it was different when you had someone who understood you so well. not to mention, being able to make self deprecating jokes about their crappy childhoods and receive a laugh in response was so much nicer than the pity stares they were both so used to getting,

she snaps back to reality at the sound of the engine turning off, cutting the music as the expensive car door opens. she sees paul angrily walk out of the car, slamming the door behind him, not stopping by her side of the car to open the door for her like he normally did. (she was actually thankful for that. she was a grown women, she could open a damn door herself)

weird, she thinks, but decides not to question it. her husband had been a bit more moody and temperamental lately, so she supposed it was just that. but the dinner seemed to go really good in her opinion. she got along with his colleagues and paul certainly enjoyed himself, getting to be around all his coworkers and interact freely. she liked to think that his colleagues liked her as well. they complimented her all evening and included her in all of their conversations. though, she did wish that they would've referred to her by her name more, rather than 'mrs. stalder' or 'paul's wife.'

she gets out of the passenger side and shuts the door behind her, walking up to the steps after she hears that paul had locked the car. she places the small clutch she had on the entry table and walks to the kitchen, seeing paul sitting at the kitchen island, nothing in front of him except tea that he had heated up in the minute or so he'e been in there. she kisses his cheek and starts talking, knowing that it would probably help calm whatever he was feeling.

she gives him a smile, rubbing his shoulder affectionately. "it seemed like the dinner went really well, all of your coworkers are super nice and-"

"you talked to steven too much." he cuts her off, sending an icy glare her way, and look she had never seen on him before shining darkly in his eyes.

she cocks her head to the side, "huh?"

he stands up from his place abruptly, making her jump back slightly. "i said," he spits out, eyes narrowing as he stares her down "you talked to steven too much."

she lets out a loud laugh, thinking that he was just joking around and messing with her. at any second he was going to join her giggling, ignoring the way his eyes had only seemed to darken the second the sounds had escaped her mouth."oh, that's funny." she says in between laughs, eyes shining with childish glee. "jesus you really scared m-"

pain.

her words get cut off by a fist coming directly into contact with her face. she feels the stinging sensation burn from her eye to her cheek, her brown eyes watering with tears as she realizes what had just happened. she lifts a palm up to touch it protectively, almost making it seem like it was more real if she touched it.

oh god, it hurt. it hurt like hell. his gold wedding band adding to the impact was sure to leave a scar by the corner of her eye. she'd been punched before, multiple times actually by foster parents and girls while she was in high school, but this hurt so much more. it was so much harder than she'd ever been hit before.

her husband just hit her.

"oh brooke, baby." paul says, taking her into his arms and brushing her hair back immediately, trying to get her to relax into his embrace. "i just got so mad. you just made me so mad brooke. you can't make me mad like that" he tells her, eyes dripping with some kind of emotion she can't place as he places light kisses on top of her sea of brown curls, ignoring the way the way she stood stiffly in his arms, a few lone tears making it's way down her cheeks.

"i love you. you know that brooke" he whispers, wiping the tears from her face, his hands feeling usually rough against her skin, his touch not easing over the bruise that hard already begun to form.

she nods. it was okay. he loved her. he didn't mean it. he just got angry. it was okay. it was fine. he loved her, it was okay.

she thought she probably deserved it. after all she'd cheated on her husband just three weeks before, and had continued to keep in contact with the man she had cheated with. it was only karma.

"i'm sorry paul." she apologizes sincerely as he cups her face in his hands, giving her a sweet smile. it wasn't his fault. it was hers.

"it just better not happen again." he states, eyes burning into hers intently, his grip on her face tightening without her even realizing it. all she really felt was numb, as if all of her senses had seemingly shut down to avoid dealing with the pain that was spreading throughout the side of her face.

she nods her head up and down as she pulls her back into him. "i'm sorry" she whispers into his chest.

he smiled.

and that's when he knew he had her.

____

alex finished scrubbing out of a surgery, shaking off the excess water on his hands, grinning internally. it was always so much better when he was able to help save a kid. the success was just that much more fulfilling. he's about to push the door open when it swings in itself, making him come face to face with cristina, the expression she was wearing was more worried looking than he'd seen in a long time. he'd known yang for a while know, and he knew whatever was about to come out of her mouth would be bad. cristina yang was never worried.

"what do you want yang?" he asks, noting how she had her hands crossed over her chest and was avoiding his gaze.

"there's a merger happening." she says, looking up to meet his eyes to let him know that she was serious.

his narrows his eyes, scrunching up his nose. "what?" he questions. a merger? as in, combing two hospitals into one?

"you just missed the announcement. apparently we're merging with mercy west." the raven head repeats, a slight trace of fear in her voice, a very unusual thing for cristina yang.

he lets out a deep breath, tugging his scrub cap off and running a hand through his hair as he leans over the scrub sink, gripping it so tightly his knuckles begin to turn white. "i can't loose this job yang." he says to her softly, making her nod in agreement.

"you and me both." with that she walks out of the room, alex not far behind her, both of the surgeons heading up to the resident's lounge to change, which was filled to the brim with chatter, all of the doctors talking about the newest topic, the merger.

meredith sits down next to him, slipping a long sleeved purple shirt over her head when she casts a glance to alex, who was sitting still looking down at his phone's empty screen, seemingly deep in thought, almost as if he was waiting for something to magically appear on it.

the blonde nudges him, snapping him out of his trance. alex sighs, resting his elbows on his knees as he buries his head in his hands. "what am i gonna do about iz?" he asks her, judging by her face that she was drawing a blank, much like him.

jesus, this was great. these past few weeks he had hardy been able to look his wife in the eye, because every time he saw her he was reminded that he slept with someone else. not to mention, he was just texting that certain someone just a few hours ago. he was really screwed. izzie had currently been home on bedrest, not being allowed to return to work until two weeks from now, which apparently would also be when the mercy westers would turn up. fucking great. he felt as if the universe was rallying against him at this point, no matter how much he knew that wasn't possible. he dug his own grave, it was just a matter of time before he would need to lay in it.

"she'll be okay." meredith reassures him, but he can tell by the look on her face that she was unsure as well. who knew would end up getting cut? they would need to pull their heads out of their asses and prove that they deserved to stay. none of them could lose their spot. not only because of their job, but also because of the people there. they were a family. they couldn't lose any more of their family. they'd just lost george, and they couldn't lose another.

"evil spawn, put on a shirt!" cristina yells, balling up a shirt from his locker and throwing it at him, hitting him square in the chest as he glares at her. he pulls on the shirt silently and heads out, not bothering to say goodbye to anybody as he leaves the lounge and heads straight to joe's across the street.

he slides onto a barstool, ordering a beer and thanking the bartender with a slight nod of his head. how was he supposed to tell izzie about the merger? he knew that if his wife knew, she would want to return to work immediately, but he knew she couldn't do that. she was still getting her strength back, and standing around on her feet all day surely would delay the healing process. he couldn't risk her getting hurt because he wasn't able to stop her.

he'd done enough recently, even if izzie didn't know about most of it. the last thing he needed was to cause his wife more harm than he already had.

he was going to tell her, he knew that, just not right now. right now he was going to sit on this uncomfortable wooden bar stool and drink his beer and forget he had any problems. he was going to forget about the merger, he was going to forget about him and izzie going at it twenty-four seven, and he was definitely going to forget about the brunette with a fake name who seemed to be on his mind all the time.

he was just going to forget everything, his only focus being his beer and the football game on the small television above the bar. yeah, that sounded like a good idea. a really good idea.

____

okay, so he forgot about two out of those three things.

he was actually doing pretty good for a while, almost a full hour with nearly a beer and a half finished. all he had been focused on was the seahawks playing against the steelers, with the steelers crushing the seattle team thirty-four to seven. not much of a surprise though, he couldn't remember the last time he'd witnessed the seahawks win. it wasn't that they were a completely crap team, it was simply the fact that one; the steelers were much better this year, and two; he hardly ever got enough time to sit down and watch a game. being a resident drained the life out of him, especially since he had finally knew that he wanted to specialize in peds. when he wasn't at the hospital he was reading up new medical procedures in magazines, or occasionally sneaking over to meredith's to watch old ellis grey tapes.

he was doing really... until he got a text message from jo.

joseph: how was your surgery?

alexandra: wow, you must be bored.

joseph: ...

what makes you say that?

alexandra: really?

joseph: i'm in med school, thank you very much. i have a severe interest in your surgeries.

alexandra: mhm, sure.

joseph: fine, i'm bored. entertain me. please.

alexandra: that sounds vaguely dirty.

joseph: oh great. how drunk are you?

alexandra: what makes you say that?

haha, two can play that game.

joseph: i'm guessing two beers in?

alexandra: shut up, only one and a half.

joseph: mhm, wasn't too far off

but seriously. i'm bored and am in need of anything remotely interesting. you just scrubbed in on a super cool surgery, i want details

alexandra: fine, baby maria duboir, two weeks old, robbins let me lead the procedure about half way through, coded once, we then shocked her at 150, and now she is stable and in the NICU.

happy?

joseph: yes. very much so

although i do think your OR stories need work

you sound like you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about

alexandra

wow. you're a real delight you know that?

joseph: oh, believe me, i know. don't even get me started on how many times people have complimented how freaking amazing i am

it's quite a common occurrence.

if i had a dollar for every time someone said that to me, i'd be living on my own private island

alexandra: i bet you would.

seriously though, tell me something. i've got nothing better to do than watch the seahawks get crushed.

joseph: i'm guessing that's sports talk, so i'm just gonna ignore that, since it hate any sport where men look like giant block of cheese, run around a court, or just run in general.

but today's been boring. went to a dinner tonight. fancy stuck-up rich people who laugh with posh accents and sip their champagne way too slowly

fucking turtles.

alexandra: sounds fun.

joseph: you suck. i can literally hear the sarcasm through the phone asshole

alexandra: that's the point. i'll take a sick kid over fancy dinner any day.

crap, that sounded really horrible didn't it?

joseph: it really did

"i'll take a sick kid over a fancy dinner any day" real charming if you ask me. night in shining amour.

alexandra

yeah yeah you know what i mean.

____

they're not sure how long they end up talking for, alex siting at joe's bar and jo lounging on the couch in her living room while her husband was in his study going over and grading tests for one of his classes. before either one of them even know it, it gets to be twelve thirty boston time and nine thirty in seattle. alex's texts had gotten much harder to read, which made sense, considering he was now on his third beer.

jo teased him about it though, finding it more enjoyable than she would've guessed to text a drunk alex than a sober one. he seemed to get increasingly flirtier the tipsier he got. not to mention, all the spelling mistakes he made was definitely one for the books. she had a feeling that it was getting a but harder for him to see which letters where which, considering a few b's were located where there should be d's, and 'm' where they should be an 'n'

alex knows for a fact he's earning many stares from fellow people at the bar because of how much he's laughing (loudly too), but he doesn't really care. if he's gonna laugh, he's gonna laugh. all he could really focus on was the fluorescent lights hanging from the bar's wood ceiling and the frankly hilarious texts coming through his phone. (okay, so they weren't that funny, but everything is always a lot more funny when you're drunk)

jo was thoroughly enjoying herself, laughing more and more as she sank into the couch, completely forgetting about the bruise on her left cheek as she typed away, grinning from ear to ear when the man on the other side responded, words misspelt and random numbers and semicolons popping up from time to time.

they knew that what they had done was wrong. they knew that what they were doing was wrong. but they couldn't stop.

if only they had stopped sooner.

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lonelyreputation · 4 years ago

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C’est Toi (coffee shop au) • CHAPTER EIGHT, wc: 4.9k

previous chapter | let’s chat | C’est Toi Index

Tuesday - January 29, 2019 - 07:11

There’s a feeling in the pit of my stomach that won’t go away––it hasn’t gone away since I left my sketchbook at the coffee shop. I have this feeling of anticipation looming about in my stomach. But I don’t even know what I’m anticipating. Am I preparing myself for disappointment in case he doesn’t text me? Am I preparing myself for a text?

I hate waiting. And I hate not knowing what’s to come.

___

I haven't been to Brightside in five days. I kept to my promise that I would see Shawn later.

After I rushed back to my flat after the disastrous end of our conversation, I hurriedly knocked on Ella’s door and didn’t stop until she let me in. I told her I left my sketchbook, she hugged me tight, and told me that I couldn’t go back until he texted me. But then I told her that he called me a customer.

Her smile faltered, but she was back to her enthusiastic self and promised me that he would text.

But five days later, as I laid on my bed, staring up at the ceiling fan, I had yet to receive any text.

I heard a knock on my door and yelled out a non-excited come in, and Ella’s head popped around the door with a sympathetic smile.

“Still nothing?”

With a sigh, I closed my eyes, feeling even more embarrassed than the day I asked for his name, “Nothing.”

I heard a small squeak of the door being opened, and then a soft click of the door when it was shut. I didn’t need to have my eyes open to know that Ella walked further into my room. I heard the wheels of my rolling chair slid across the floor and then felt Ella’s hand on my arm.

“Give it a little more time, I’m sure he’s just––”

I snapped my eyes open and turned my head to look at her, “It’s been five days. If he hasn’t texted me now, he won’t ever text me.”

Ella offered me a sympathetic smile, “At least you can say you tried.”

But that’s the thing, I thought to myself, I didn’t try enough. How was he even supposed to know that I left my sketchbook there for him to find so that he could text me? It was ludicrous for me to even think that this plan would be somewhat successful.

“Maybe someone else picked it up?” Her voice was high as she offered a weak excuse for my silent phone.

I let out another deep sigh, “That would be even worse,” I sat up in bed and rubbed the heel of my palm over my right eye, “That would mean all of my drawings are lost and my brother gave me that sketchbook––”

“I’m sure it’s still at Brightside,” Ella tried to sound confident, but we both knew it was a lost cause, “Give it a few more days, if he doesn’t text you, then you can just live your life…You are in London after all.” She winked.

I tried to laugh, but it came out sounding like a whimper.

“Let’s get your mind off it,” She used her feet to push the chair away from the side of my bed and stood up, “A few of us are going to the park to play football.”

I quirked an eyebrow, “You play football?”

Ella nodded slowly, her face looked just as confused as mine, “When I was younger. I’m not fantastic but I can still try and have fun.”

“I––I’ll come watch,” I swung my feet over the bed as I started walking toward my closet to change out of my jeans, “The rules have always confused me, but I’ve heard enough of my dad and brother yelling at the T.V. that I have some knowledge of it.” I pulled out an old t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts, “I didn’t think football was big here in England.”

Ella furrowed her eyebrows together, “Are you daft? Football is life or death here and––Oh,” She let out a small laugh before smirking, “Excuse me let me translate for you,” she cleared her throat and spoke with an American accent, “A few of us are going to the park to play soccer.”

Oh.

My arms went limp at my sides as I felt my face heat up in embarrassment, “That’s––Of course, soccer––Football––Makes sense, I used to play a bit––”

“Mick,” Ella cut off my rambling with a laugh and a shake of her head, “I’m gonna get changed, knock on my door when you’re done.”

I nodded as I watched her leave my room with an amused smile on her face. I smacked my hand on my forehead, still reeling in my embarrassment, because of course football is soccer. I wasn’t home anymore.

Quickly, I swapped the sweater I wore to class earlier for a long sleeved red t-shirt and jumped around as I wiggled out of my skinny jeans. Once my athletic shorts were up, and had my sneakers double knotted, I grabbed a little canvas bag to place my phone and keys in. Once I locked my door, I turned left and knocked on the door to the left of my room.

“I’ll be out in just a minute!” Ella shouted from the other side. True to her word, Ella walked out of the door in under a minute, dressed in a sweatshirt and leggings. She looked at me up and down before laughing, “Sure you won’t freeze?”

I nodded as I flipped my head forward, gathering my hair up to wrap an elastic band around it, “If we’re running around, I’ll be fine. Plus, my legs get too hot if I’m running and I have leggings on.”

Ella rolled her eyes, “You’re weird.” And then we were off to the elevator.

As we rode down, Ella informed me that football was being played at Hyde Park. We made light chatter as we made our way to the tube station, and by we, I mean Ella did most of the talking. I appreciated her effort in trying to get my mind off my lost sketchbook, but it was still the only thing I concentrated on as we went from Waterloo station, to Green Park, and then got off at our final destination of Hyde Park Corner.

Once we quickly made our way out of the tube station, we waited with a crowd of other people for the lights to change. And when the walk sign flashed for us, everyone hurriedly made their way across the street, because once the lights changed…London drivers were not shy in accelerating on the gas pedal.

We entered by the Queen Mother’s Gate and started walking along the pathway.

“This park is too big,” Ella grumbled as she typed furiously away on her phone, “Jack said that they found an open space but the whole stupid park is an open space.”

I kept up with her fast pace and turned my head to look at her, “Jack’s here?”

Ella nodded her head, “Said a few friends from his law course wanted to unwind after an impossible paper they had to write,” She looked at me with a smirk, “He specifically asked me to make sure you came along.”

I brought the sleeves of my shirt to cover my hands as I crossed my arms over my chest, “They probably needed another player.”

“Sure,” she bumped her shoulder against mine, “How is it that you’ve been in London for a month and have two boys after you? Meanwhile, I’ve been here for three years and haven’t had any luck.”

“You had the TA.”

“Don’t push it, America,” Ela glared at me.

I let out a sigh, facing forward, as my voice softened in agony, “And I don’t have two boys after me,” I sniffled from the cold air, “Shawn only sees me as a customer.”

Ella’s glare softened as he weakly smiled, “You’re more to him than that.”

I shook my head, “If you were there––”

“I have been there,” Ella interrupted me, “I’ve seen how he sneaks glances at you, how he spends more time talking to you than anyone else…Mick, he likes you too.”

I brushed off her comment, the familiar feeling of disappointment seeping into my heart, “Where’d they say they were?”

Ella glared at me, knowing exactly that I was purposefully changing the topic as she held up a finger, signaling me to wait. She unlocked her phone, gliding her finger on the screen a few times, before she brought the phone up to her ear, snapping at whoever was on the other end, “Where are you?”

She hummed a few times, before stopping in her tracks, “Well why didn’t you say you were closer to Marble Arch,” Ella huffed as she made a sharp right and started quickly walking across the grass, “We got off at Hyde Park Corner, you twat.” She sneered into her phone, “We’ll be there soon, start without us, it doesn’t matter.”

Not waiting to hear the other person on the end, Ella clicked her phone shut and let out an aggravated breath, “Jack is an idiot.”

“We’ll be there soon,” I tried to reassure her, but I was quieted from the glare she sent my way, “I’ll race you there.”

“We don’t even know where there is!” Ella yelled at me after I had already taken off in a sprint, “Mick!”

I held the canvas bag close to my side, while it was practically empty, I could still feel my keys and phone bounce against my hip. I slowed down a bit and turned my head over my shoulder, “Think of it as a warm up!”

I was a bit further away from Ella, but I could practically see her rolling her eyes at me as she started to pick up her pace in a slow jog. While she was right that we didn’t know exactly where they were, we would get there faster by running instead of briskly walking.

Ella caught up to me, and when we finally laid eyes upon a group of boys and girls kicking around a soccer ball, we both glanced at each other before taking off in a sprint. I said that we ended in a tie, but Ella never liked to lose, so she declared herself the champion.

As if he knew we made it, Jack looked over at us with a wide smile, he excused himself from his friends and jogged over to us.

“Glad you two could make––Ow.” Jack narrowed his eyes at Ella as he rubbed the spot on his arm where she punched him, “I would like to go one day without you hitting or kicking me.”

Ella mirrored his glare, “Why didn’t you tell us to take the tube to Marble Arch!”

“Slipped my mind.”

“Idiot,” Ella mumbled under her breath as she walked past him and to the group of people kicking around the ball. It looked like she recognized a few people as she struck up a conversation with them.

“Mick,” Jack’s smile faltered a little as he looked down at my legs, “Will you be cold?”

I shook my head and tightened my pony tail, “I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t look convinced as we walked side-by-side back to the group, “I have sweatpants in my bag if you get cold.”

I smiled up at him, trying to ease the concern in his eyes, “Thanks.”

When we got to the circle, Jack introduced me and then we were split up into teams. As one of the team captains, Jack picked me first to be on his team. He subsequently left Ella off his team which caused her to sneer a ‘watch your back,’ at him as everyone got into their positions on the little makeshift field.

After an hour had passed of kicking the ball around, Ella trying to slide tackle Jack, and a few goals scored by each team, everyone decided to call it quits. Everyone talked and laughed as we made our way back over to our bags and Jack, always being prepared, offered water to both Ella and I.

“Are you girls headed back to Stamford?” Jack said as he screwed the lid back on his water bottle.

Ella finished swallowing before nodding, “Yeah we’re–––”

“I think I’m going to call my brother,” I interrupted her. They both looked at me with tilted heads. “It’s a nice day out,” I looked up at the sky, and while it was still overcast and cold out, the sun was trying to break through, “Figured I’d take a walk in the park and talk to him.”

“In shorts?” Jack asked. I nodded my head and was about to respond with how I wasn’t feeling that cold from the soccer game, but before I could say anything, he zipped open his backpack and threw a sweatshirt at me, “You’ll freeze if you don’t have another layer on.”

I smiled in appreciation, looking at the well worn King’s College sweatshirt with the University seal on it, “I’ll wash it before giving it back to you.” Jack waved me off as I slipped the oversized sweatshirt on my body, automatically feeling ten degrees warmer.

“Put the hood up to,” Jack laughed, “Your ears are looking red.”

Rolling my eyes, I pulled the hood up and overdramatically tightened the strings around my neck, which caused me to only see out of a teeny tiny hole, “Better?”

“See you later, Mick.” Both Jack and Ella laughed as they walked toward the exit of the park.

Once I was sure they were a good distance away, I pulled out my phone, opened WhatsApp and checked my messages.

Still no text.

With a sigh, I started walking back toward the Hyde Park Corner tube station, as I clicked my brother’s contact. Because while I did plan on talking to my brother, I also planned on making a little stop at a coffee shop before I headed back to the residence hall.

“Pip pip cheerio,” I rolled my eyes at the greeting I always got from William.

“People don’t talk like that here.”

William let out a boisterous laugh, “Oh, I know.” It was silent for a few minutes as I walked through the park, passing a few dogs who weren’t on leashes, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” I said with a flat tone, “Just wanted to call.”

“How’re things going with that barista?”

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, “Not great.”

“Golden girl having a bit of trouble?”

I glared at a tree in front of me, pretending that it was my brother, “What would you do if you liked a girl?”

William let out a sigh, and I heard him say distant hi on the other end of the phone, presumably walking past a few people he knew before continuing on, “Everything you’ve already told me pretty much points to him liking you.”

I was approaching the end of the park and walked out to stop right at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change, as I switched my phone to the other hand, “So why hasn’t he done anything?”

“You could always ask him out,” William said as if it was the easiest thing, “I know you said things didn’t go over too smoothly when you asked for his name, but maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move.”

The light changed as I walked with the crowd to cross the street, “Then he’ll be waiting for forever.”

“Mick,” he dragged out the lone vowel in my name, “You had a boyfriend last year, it’s not like you’re inept to talking to boys.”

I stopped at the entrance of the tube station and leaned against the railing, “I know but he’s––Everything is just––I don’t know how to act around him.”

William laughed loudly, “Oh, you got it bad.”

“Shut up,” I let out a single laugh as I scuffed my sneakers on the sidewalk, “I have to go, but I’ll call you soon.”

“I want more updates on this Canadian barista that just so happens to live in London!” William said in a singsong voice that made me laugh, “I still find that weird.”

“I love you, William,” I said with an eye roll.

“Love you too, Golden girl.”

And with that, I ended the call. I quickly pulled up my tube map direction app and typed in Hyde Park Corner and Temple. Twenty-one minutes, I sighed, better than nothing. Making sure I knew what platform I needed to get on, I walked down the stairs, tapped my oyster card and started my journey to Brightside.

I’ve been on the tube for longer than twenty-one minutes, but the anxiety I felt about still not having my sketchbook, and not knowing who I was going to run into at the counter…It felt like the longest ride ever.

When the train car approached Temple, I almost considered staying on until the next stop and not getting off. I almost didn’t want to go back to Brightside and face even more embarrassment. I think I’ve had enough embarrassment there to last five lifetimes.

But I wanted my sketchbook back.

I cared about my sketchbook more than I cared about Shawn thinking of me as a customer.

Walking down the sidewalk, I almost didn’t feel the cold air on my legs because I was too consumed with my anxiety as the familiar door came into view. Breathe, I said to myself, in through your nose and out through your mouth…

I didn’t think twice before I curled my hand around the handle and yanked the door open.

Shawn was the only person behind the counter, and while I didn’t hear the chime of the bell, I knew he did because his head snapped up. His eyebrows were furrowed together for a few minutes before a full blown smile took over his features. I slipped the hood off my head and walked straight up to the counter.

“McLane!” Shawn said with just as much chipper in his voice as the last time I heard him call my name, “It’s been a while. Was starting to think you found another coffee shop.” He laughed as his hand went to pull a yellow cup from the stack.

I let out a weak laugh, “I––No. No other coffee shop,” Shawn smiled as I continued talking, “And actually…I’m not here for a coffee.”

His eyebrows raised in interest as I started my rambling, “I––I think I lost my sketchbook? I take it with me everywhere and I’ve retraced my steps but I can’t seem to find it anywhere––And I––This is the only place I haven’t checked. It’s black, on the small side, it has some drawings in it–––”

“Slow down,” Shawn laughed a little as he brought both hands in front of him, gesturing for me to slow my words, “What’d you say you lost?”

“My sketchbook,” I said matter of factly, “It’s small––pocket sized almost––and black. It has my name in it––”

I was too preoccupied with naming all the details of my sketchbook that I missed the shimmer of recollection in his eyes. I also missed how his smile slowly grew wider with every word I rambled. And even as I continued on rambling, he ducked below the counter, momentarily out of my sight, before he popped right back up with a black book.

My heart stopped.

“Is this it?”

He had my sketchbook.

“I––Yeah––Oh my god,” I released a breath of relief, “That’s it––I can’t––Oh my god.”

But he didn’t text me.

Shawn handed the sketchbook over to me and I snatched it from his hand, cradling it close to my chest, before I quickly opened it to make sure no damage was done to any of the sketches. I let out another sigh of relief when I saw everything intact.

“The drawings in there are good,” Shawn’s eyes were wide in astonishment, “You have insane talent.”

I picked my head up and squeaked out a pathetic, “What?”

My heart stopped again because he looked through my sketches. He opened up my sketchbook, and either he didn’t see the if lost note or he saw it and completely ignored it. But that thought only crossed my mind for a few seconds because the only thought ringing in my head as that he looked at my drawings.

If there’s one rule to live by, it’s to never look at someone’s sketchbook without their permission.

And sure, the whole point of Operation Sketchbook was for Shawn to look in my sketchbook, but he was only supposed to look at the if lost note. He wasn’t supposed to actually look at the drawings. Because––oh my god––I had a sketch of the bird tattoo on his hand in there.

“Niall and I got curious––It was around for a bit and so we just peeked in. And when we saw how amazing they were…” Shawn’s voice grew distant before looking back at me with amazement in his eyes, “McLane, your drawings are so good.”

Oh my god…Niall saw my sketch of Shawn’s hand.

“I well––They’re nothing special––” lie, “––I just––It’s fun and it’s relaxing––”

As if Shawn sensed my nervousness, he smiled and politely cut off my rambling, “If I had half the talent as you,” he rested his elbows down on the counter, and looked up at me with a small smile, “I would not be working in a coffee shop.”

I looked down for a moment and blushed. But when I looked back up into Shawn’s eyes, they were twinkling with pride as he was able to get a reaction out of me, “What would you do if you weren’t working here?”

Shawn let out a hum as he scrunched his eyebrows together, looking off into the distance, as he seriously considered his options.

“I think music production is cool,” he hesitantly answered, “I like all the audio engineering stuff, it’s probably what I would’ve studied in uni.”

I nodded my head, not having much of a clue about what he was talking about, but I noticed his eyes shined a little brighter when he brought up the topic.

“Have you thought about learning some stuff on the side?”

Shawn nodded his head, “I have some music software on my laptop and play around with it a bit, but it’s nothing serious,” Shawn shook his head and stood up tall, “I like working here anyway.”

I nodded my head and looked around the shop, it was a bit empty for it being a Tuesday.

“This might be the first time I’ve seen you without books,” Shawn’s voice brought me back to him after staring off into space.

I blinked a few times before tilting my head back slightly in laughter, “I just came from playing soccer with some friends.”

“Football,” Shawn corrected me just like Ella had, “And in shorts?”

His tone sounded just as concerned as Jack’s did when he first noticed my bare legs. Although, Shawn’s eyes seemed to linger on my legs longer than Jack’s did, before he looked up at me and chuckled, “It’s like five degrees outside.”

“It’s cold out, but I wouldn’t say it’s that cold out,” I rested my elbows on the counter as I continued to talk, “It felt more like the low forty’s.”

“Celsius,” Shawn corrected me with a laugh, “Five degrees celsius.”

Oh.

Shawn laughed again as I leaned on the counter in silence, even more embarrassed than before. He tried to act sly, but I noticed his hand reach out for a yellow cup.

“I don’t need a coffee,” I told him.

He shook his head, ignoring my words, “What tea do you like?”

“You really don’t––”

“You look like someone who likes English Breakfast,” Shawn ignored my words again as he walked down toward the espresso machine and opened up a box of tea. He took out a bag, plopped it in the cup, and pressed a button on the espresso machine that let out hot water.

Shawn peaked over into the cup, and once he was satisfied with how much water was in there, he pressed the button again and the water stopped. He set the cup down on the counter, as he shook his hand mumbling a hot hot, as he walked back over toward the register to grab another yellow cup, along with a coffee sleeve.

He placed the empty cup under the cup of boiling water, “It just needs to brew for five minutes,” I heard him say as I looked at the steam floating out from the cup, “And then you’ll have something to keep you warm.” He gave me a pointed look.

“Thank you,” I smiled in appreciation as I pulled out some money, “How much is the tea?”

Shawn let out a single laugh as he crossed his arms over his chest, “You’re not paying.”

I rolled my eyes and waved the money in front of his face, “Oh, come on––”

“It’s tea.” Shawn shook his head, “It barely cost anything.”

We stood in silence for a few seconds longer, neither of us wanting to back down. But I knew that even if I put the money in the cash register myself, Shawn would take it out and slip it in my bag. With a sigh, I stuffed the five note back in my wallet and dropped it in my bag.

“Thank you.”

Shawn nodded his head, “So…What kind of art do you like?”

My smile brightened at the mention of art and I saw Shawn’s eyes widen in admiration, “All of it. It’s so fun and always so creative––But I do find myself leaning more toward post-impressionism.”

Shawn slowly nodded his head, he looked about just as lost as I probably looked when he was talking about audio engineering.

“Van Gogh,” I gave him one of the most famous artists to come out of that art movement, “That kind of stuff––Landscapes, lots of color, bold brush strokes.”

“Ah,” he said in understanding, “Starry Night? That’s one of his right?”

I chuckled, “That’s him.”

And then an idea struck my mind.

I had seen advertisements in newspapers and down in the underground about a Van Gogh exhibit opening at the Tate Britain at the end of March. It was a while away, but if I brought it up to him…Maybe he’d want to go.

I felt like Ella with the amount of scheming going on in my mind.

I coughed into the crook of my elbow, “Yeah––Starry Night is cool––The Tate Britain is actually having an exhibit with his art,” I let out a fake sigh, “I’ve been trying to find someone to go with me but I––No one seems interested.”

Shawn’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth straight away, only for it to shut tight, as his head snapped toward the chime of the bell on top of the door. Three girls around our age walked forward, talking among themselves about what they were thinking about ordering.

I shouldn’t have found his facial expression funny, considering I really did think this time around he was going to ask to tag along, but the frustration on his face caused my chest to slightly shake with amusement. He closed his eyes tight, jaw locked, as he rubbed his fingers around his temples.

He let out the most aggravated sigh I’d ever heard, and I think he wanted me to hear how annoyed he was at the customers who just walked in through the door.

“I’ll be with you ladies in one second,” Shawn briefly turned his head to look at them, acknowledging their presence.

I offered him a close lipped smile, and he just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Before you go,” he quickly said, taking the tea bag out of the cup, disposing it in the bin, before he disappeared under the counter. But he wasn’t gone for long. He popped right back up with oat milk, shaking the container, before opening it up to splash a little milk in it.

He securely placed a black lid on it and pushed it toward me, “I’m glad you didn’t find another coffee shop.”

His words were simple, and to any outsider, him being worried about me finding a different coffee shop to go to would sound pathetic. But I knew what he meant. I knew he wasn’t just referring to a coffee shop.

The tea was still very hot, even with two cups and a coffee sleeve, but I still picked it up and smiled at him, “See you tomorrow, Shawn?”

Shawn’s smile was wider than I’d ever seen it before and he nodded his head, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

When I opened the door, I was met with a gust of cold air that had me ducking my head to shield myself from it stinging my cheeks. But the tea in my hand from Shawn was doing a much better job at providing me warmth than Jack’s sweatshirt.

I walked quickly back toward the Temple Underground station because I was also just starting to realize that maybe my legs weren’t cold because I couldn’t really feel my legs.

I hopped on the tube, switched stations at Embankment, and braced the cold air again as I walked out of Waterloo Station. I was almost back to my flat.

As I waited at the stoplight for the colors to change, I felt my phone vibrate in my bag. I switched the tea to my other hand so I could dig the hand closer to the bag around for it. I pulled it out, and saw that it was a text on WhatsApp from an unrecognizable number.

I scrunched my eyebrows together, and unlocked my phone, curious as to who messaged me.

But when my thumb clicked on the app and I went into the message, I felt my heart skyrocket up to my throat as I let out an audible gasp. Luckily, my grasp around the tea didn’t falter, but I still felt as if I could drop it at any moment.

Hi, McLane! It’s Shawn from Brightside ☕️ I got your number from your sketchbook…I hope that’s alright with you.

And then the light turned green.

A/N: So……How are we feeling about Jack? Operation sketchbook? It was ~semi-successful!! But successful, nonetheless! Things start to pick up from here soooo……Get ready for some fun!

Thank you! Thank you for all of your kind words!! They mean the absolute WORLD to me!🥺 I love you all so very much! As always, sending good vibes 💥

See ya next week with Chapter NINE!!! We’re almost getting to my favorite chapter 🤩

C’est Toi Tag List: @mendesficsxbombay, @5-seconds-of-mendes, @pupsandducks, @musicalkeys, @madatmendes, @im-salt-but-not-salty, @shawnmendez, @crossedties @lenamds

#Shawn Mendes writing #Shawn Menes fanfiction #Shawn Mendes fluff #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes Writings #Shawn Mendes coffee shop au #Shawn Mendes AU #Shawn Mendes #Shawn Mendes x oc #wonder #Shawn Mendes imagines #Shawn mendes fics #Shawn mendes blurb #Shawn mendes blurbs #Shawn mendes story #ugh don't you just HATE tags #anyhoot #I hope you all enjoyed!!!

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 3 years ago

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Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3

Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)

Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)

I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.

Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.

It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.

At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.

at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.

At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:

Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.

I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.

Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?

Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.

Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.

(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)

She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.

What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.

So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.

Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)

#ask #anon #taylor #mine

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