#pls just fucking hire me i'm baby

[monarchberrysblog]

𝔭𝔲𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔩𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔬𝔲𝔱

18+ Fireman! Miguel O’Hara x Chubby! Fem! Reader

Summary: After being hired into Station 29 and dealing with the fires in Nueva York, Miguel experiences soft and sweet love after saving someone from a burning building.

Trigger Warning ⚠️: Chubby! Female! Reader, soft fluff shit-- Miguel is 25, and the reader is 21 (a bit of an age gap). Mean? Dom! Miguel, words of affirmation, size difference got me like 😋. (OOC MIGUEL, JUST THROWING THAT OUT THERE)

Word Count: <1.0k words

Author’s Note: HEAR ME OUT PLS— This came to mind after chatting with a bot on character.ai. (original, I know) It makes me sad that the Miguel hype has been slowly dying down, but I will write about my husband until my obsession dies. (it's never going to die; please save me.) Also, if you see minors like this, please let me know 😗

Who knew that getting fucked into a mattress by the fireman who saved you from a burning building was the answer to all of life’s problems?

/

He slid his fingers out of you, then trailed said fingers up to your throat, soon lightly grasping onto your throat. The hold was firm but wasn't enough to choke anyone out. "You okay?" You glanced at him and could imagine the mess you left behind on his bedsheets. "…yeah." You gasped at him before you swallowed dryly and squirmed.

"Looks like you had some fires to put out." He chuckled, seeing the evident clear, slick against the silky bedsheets that were probably worth more than your weekly grocery shopping list. "I'm sorry." You whined to him. "No, no. It's okay, baby…" He gave your thigh a reassuring pat with his free hand. After patting your thigh, he moved his hand away from your throat and grasped onto the fat of your thigh. "Spread open for me…"

The sound of him unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants is enough to make your mouth salivate in instinct by simply hearing the metal of his belt clink. “Every time I jerk off,” He pauses momentarily, but he continues when you feel a bulbous tip lightly tap at your fluttering entrance. “I think about how you taste, and I never last.”

A barely audible moan escapes from you, arching your back against the mattress. “Shh, shh, it's okay.” Miguel slowly pushes himself into you, taking the time to savor your wet, moist, gummy walls. “My god, you're so tight. Take deep breaths for me, okay?” The stretch of his girth is enough to drive anyone wild. With a shaky breath, you nodded, laid back on the bed, and relaxed. An audible groan from the back of your throat before it became a guttural groan deep from you diaphragm. “I know it hurts, I know…” He cooed to you.

It took all of his willpower not to hump you like an animal in heat. Instead, he allowed his tip to stay in your entrance. He brought his lips to your ear, whispering sweet nothings while you felt yourself getting stuffed more than a turkey on a Thanksgiving dinner. You propped yourself up on your elbows, just to see the sight below you. “You like to see? How dirty.”

He patted your fupa lovingly before he pushed down on the soft tummy. You took in deep breaths, trying to get him to fit in. “There we go. Can you see how you're taking my cock? You're taking it well…” The sound of a small queef filled the space, interrupting Miguel, causing you to hide your face with a nearby pillow, embarrassed of the noise. “It's okay, neña. It's cute.” You slowly peeked from the pillow, and you could see Miguel fighting demons in his soul to not laugh at the flatulent noise when he sunk himself in. “It's not funny, Miguel.” You huffed, feeling embarrassed. “No, it's not,” At this point, if Miguel dared to look at you, he would have started to laugh, but he didn't.

/

A groan escaped, feeling the sweet, delicious burn his girth offered. “Good girl,” He groaned before he got a hold of your hand. Miguel uses his free hand to move his hand from your fupa to grab onto the bed's headboard. “Look at you, eagerly moving down already. Don't overwhelm yourself, sweetheart.” He lightly quipped before a sharp inhale between his teeth broke his words. “Slow down there, baby…” You squirmed your hips down, and the delicious burn subsided to pleasure as a loud moan escaped from you, and Miguel let out a loud groan. “Ay, I told you to slow down, baby…” Ignoring Miguel’s wishes, you continued to sink into his length, enjoying how the vein on his length brushed against your puffy clit so slowly and deliciously.

“Ya te dije,” He shoved his entire length into you, nearly slamming you against the headboard. A loud whine filled his apartment, feeling his red, angry, bulbous tip kiss at your cervix. “Ya te dije, más lento.” The man firmly demanded. “It's what I want, not what you want.”

A few shaky breaths, along with a couple of forehead kisses, had you settled down on his length and wanted to continue. A whine escaped from you while you squirmed underneath him. Your pleading wasn't contributing to the situation well. “Please…” You pleaded. “Give me a minute…” Miguel strained out, slowly moving out and pushing himself back in. “Give me a minute, baby…” It was a chore for Miguel to be dominant when you made him fold in half like a lawn chair by seeing you slowly inching down on his length with such zealous energy.

The sight of the fireman who saved you from a burning building and is significantly taller than you got weak in the knees by being knees deep in your cooch. After a couple of moments and of you fluttering against his length, he slowly sunk inside of you and started to grind his tip against your cervix. A white ring began to form attached to the base of his cock, meaning that your juices and his precum have mixed and are already dripping off his length and onto the bed sheets underneath the two of you. The grinding soon turned into him thrusting his length entirely at a steady, slow pace.

His hands moved away from the headboard and gasp onto the back of your thighs. “I'm going to push your legs back a bit. Is that okay?” He groaned, keeping his pace the same. “Yeah…” You moaned out, feeling his push down be pinned down to the bed, not allowing you to see how he was moving. You tried your best to see him moving inside of you but gave up after you couldn't. “You wanted to keep seeing? Qué cochina.”

“I'll give you a sight to see…”

If you saw any errors, no, you didn't. This is the first smut I've written in a while 😭

[solarwoniii]

" ˋ꒰ what if !? ꒱ " - ft. choi yeonjun

[ nsfw post! minors please do not interact. there are many other posts on my and other’s blogs which are much more suitable for your consumption! ]

syn. if there's one thing you can't do, it's swim. so, when you almost drown at a business get-together, your parents decide its about time they got you into swimming lessons. little do they know, the polite young man who they hired to teach their sweet and innocent daughter had intentions, which would lead her to question 'what if?'

a/n. LOOK AT ME GOOOO FIRST FIC IN LIKE FOREVER?? if this flops i will literally cry omg pls excuse my writing i have only just started getting back into this recently ehe... pls give me reblogs and feedback it will give me the motivation i need to keep going okay ty enjoy

cw. pool sex, not rly public but risky stuff, tutor x tutee, mentions of drowning, somewhat of plot building here, rough/rushed, vvv affectionate stuff, secret relationship, very subby reader w/ dom yeonjun, pet names (princess, baby, ect.), heavy praise, i think that's all but please do let me know if i missed anything!

your head was spinning with ‘what ifs’. you whimpered at the painfully pleasureful feel of yeonjun putting his hands on your hips, his grip strong enough to leave reddening nail marks on your tender skin as he lifted you off of his length, only to let your entire body drop back down with a harsh slam. he smirked at the way you reacted to the feeling of the battering intrusion, a shuddering gasp escaping your partially parted lips at the way he stretched your core out with ministrations similar to that of an ever-racing train, spinning out of control as it runs head-first off of its tracks.

you had almost drowned six months ago at one of your parents' business celebrations, and probably would have died if the man before you hadn't dove into the water, pulled you out into the surface and resuscitated you.

since then, your parents had been worried sick for you and any other encounters with a body of water, they'd always known you couldn't swim, but they hadn't thought that it was that bad. so, of course, they had done what any worried caretaker would do, and exchanged information with the boy, once finding out that he was in fact a swim tutor himself. it would be much better than hiring a stranger, and this man seemed to be quite the well-rounded boy, considering he the son of their closest business partner. not only did he have outstanding grades, but he was respectful and he was around your age. so, what harm could he possibly do to their sweet daughter?

a lot.

and you knew that now, after six months of lessons and a few months of secretly dating the boy.

although, you had never really done anything so risky with him before.

“what if we get caught?” you whispered through the tears prickling your eyes, rolling down your cheeks, “we’d get into so much trouble, we’d be banned from ever speaking to each other again, we-“

yeonjun's large hand wrapped around the back of your head, making your face meet his in a kiss so sultry, yet so beckoning. he smirked against your mouth, “you worry too much, princess.”

you gulped at the boy underneath you, his gaze falling to yours through his wet eyelashes, his dampened brown locks falling messily over his eyes, his mouth stained with your strawberry lipgloss. although the room was dark, the way his smirk graced his lips made you clench around his girth, as you spoke ever so softly, “i-i’m only being cautious..!”

he rolled his eyes at you, “you’re fucking your swim tutor, baby. caution left way long ago.”

you closed your eyes and hid your face in your hands with guilt and shame as he reminded you of the graveness of the situation you had entangled yourself into, "ugh..! my parents sent me here to swim and i'm doing... this!"

yeonjun chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around your cold, barren, water-dripping body, his legs dipped into the swimming pool, "if you wanted to swim that badly, you could've said so."

"wait, what are you--" your questioning was abruptly cut off as your boyfriend suddenly held onto you, pulling you into the water along with him. your piercing squeal of surprise echoed through the halls of the empty pool as you found yourself splashing into the cold water, the smell of chlorine and fear only intensifying as your paddled around with your hands. yeonjun laughed at your struggle as you grabbed onto him for some stability.

"see? we're swimming now." he said matter-of-factly, before looking over to the clock. his eyes widened as he realised the time.

he circled his arms around your waist and pulled you into him, "i'm going to kill y-" you started, until yeonjun grabbed both of your cheeks, connecting his lips to yours messily.

"kill me later." his voice came out in a lazy mumble as he held you close, "your session's ending soon. let's finish off what we started."

your eyebrows furrowed at the way his playfulness seemed to nullify, his voice becoming much more mellow and low as his lips moulded against yours. your eyes fell heavy as he suddenly spun you around, pushing you up against the wall of the pool, pulling your ass out towards him in swift, forceful movements. his lips suctioned onto the back of your neck as yeonjun pushed himself into your tightening hole, his hips meeting yours in an angle where he could so easily fill you to the hilt, his pink and throbbing tip attacking your cervix. you cried in pleasure at his desperate and quick movements, sending you into a state of pleasure that you weren't even sure existed.

the pool water around you splashed and sloshed with every movement, his mouth beside your ear as he spoke to you, "feels good, baby?"

"f-feels s-so good, junnie-" you whimpered in response, the tears from earlier racing back as you screwed your eyes shut tight. his hand lifted one of your legs, effectively spreading you out impossibly more, as his middle and ring fingers rubbed at your clit in rough, sloppy circles.

"gonna tell your parents 'bout how much you've improved..." yeonjun said, tone dripping both with love and lust as his other hand snaked around your body, groping at your breasts, his lips fluttering soft kisses along your jawline, "my smart girl catches on so fast every time. always makin' me so proud."

a choked moan left the back of your throat, your wet hair falling into your eyes with each thrust, your voice shaky as you babbled mindlessly, "d-don't wanna go home.."

he smirked softly, pecking your temple, "i know, baby. but i'll see you next week, okay? and then we can catch up on the lost time all over again."

you sniffled, "o-okay." your hand quivering as it found his, gripping tightly onto his fingers as you clamped tightly around him, "s-so close, junnie."

"yeah? you're gonna cum for me?" he asked between heavy pants as each thrust he delivered came faster than the last one, the erotic nature of the sound of your skin slapping against his making your body quake.

you could only respond with the nod of your head at his question, much too dazed to even think straight anymore. you felt the crash coming as your climax built up in your stomach, your thighs shook and convulsed at the sensation as you let out a broken cry of pleasure, dropping your head as our release sent your mind spiralling into a web weaved with so many different emotions, you were sure that you would lose count if you tried.

the movement of his hips slowed to an eventual stop as his peak reached as well, leaving you filled with his pearlescent finish as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder as he laid gentle kisses along the side of your neck. the words he said only came out in a soft whisper with his lips against the shell of your ear, "let's get dried off.."

taglist. @hunbun07 @metalchick529 @chewryy @haesunflower @iraa567 @jwchn @bunhoons !

[junabyclairo]

pls write smth smutty abt carmy x the bartender at the bear

when you got hired to be a bartender at the restaurant you never expected it to go so far that you would be fucking your boss in his office.

after everyone had left and you were finishing up your very intense cleaning routine (when asked about it you only stated how gross the messes were to clean so you simply had to stay longer - definitely not to watch carmy vigorously scrub the floors clean.) carmen asked you to come into his office with him. you were worried after that, thinking about anything you could've done to deserve a talking to from your boss. spilling a couple drinks maybe? but that was just honest clumsy-ness it could've have been that-

"i just wanted to ask you something." that's not what you were expecting.

"yeah anything go ahead." your voice shook mildly, wondering what the question could be.

"are you dating anyone right now?" you've never seen him as shy as he was right now. he looked as if he could burst at any second

"no i'm not, why do you ask?"

"richie has been busting my balls lately about not getting laid since i've been back in chicago and i've always thought you were absolutely gorgeous so i thought-"

"are you asking if you can fuck me?" you interrupted. jesus christ you don't think you've ever been so wet in your life.

"y-yeah pretty much. but only if you're okay with it i don't want to make you uncomfortable you can totally say no."

"no yeah i definitely want to." you pressed your legs together to hopefully feel some kind of friction.

"yeah? really?" you smiled at him,

"yeah i really do."

suddenly the next thing you knew was that his lips were on yours and you were being pressed against the wall. you don't know what you were expecting but you weren't thinking that he would want to do it right here.

he started to unbutton your work blouse and you push his shirt up over his head until the both of you are topless. he then kneels down and starts undoing your shoes in order to undo your pants and take them off. he stands back up and starts kissing your neck as he works his hands behind you and unhooks your bra and slowly slips it off your chest, marveling at how beautiful you are. before he can kneel back down you start undoing his belt and pulling down his pants.

after he strips down to his boxers, he kneels down again and reaches up to the straps of your thong and gently pulls them down while staring at you with his beautiful, blue eyes. once he finally strips you of all your clothes he spreads your legs apart to reveal your sweet, little pussy to him. he places kisses on your clit and your inner thighs before he starts sucking on his fingers and pressing the middle one inside of you. you never thought something could feel as good as this does.

"carm-" you moaned out.

"yeah sweet thing? what do you need?"

"need you to fuck me. right now."

"yeah?"

"please."

he stood up and grabbed your hips and turned you around so that you were now facing the wall. you felt him pull down his boxers down just enough to be able to pull his cock out. you heard him spit into his hand and pull at his cock to make sure it was hard - for you.

when he was done he pulled your hips towards him in order to get a better view of your pussy. then he slowly sunk his cock deep inside you, inch by inch. at this point you couldn't hold in your moans anymore and moaned as loudly as you could.

after adjusting to him he started thrusting deep into you from behind, his cock hitting the sweet spot that was buried deep inside you over and over again until you were letting out tears because of just how good he was pounding into you.

"are you going to be a good girl and come on me, baby?"

"yes i will i promise please make me cum." at this point words were tumbling out of your mouth with no filter whatsoever, just begging for him to do whatever he wanted to you."

when the two of you were finished and he helped put your clothes back on you he asked, "do you wanna come over? rest a bit?"

"what are you going to fuck me more?"

"maybe i will, if you want to."

you smiled at him, nodding your head.

[nirvanawrites111]

Say You Love Me (Sub!Jongin x AFAB!Reader)

Word Count: 3727

Pairing: Kim Jongin x Afab!Reader

Genre AU: Male Stripper AU

Summary: Y/n runs No Manners male revue club and is recently divorced from Kim Jongin. But, needs a huge favor so that Y/n doesn't lose money and customers. No pronouns are used but Y/N is afab.

other characters mentioned: Ten, Taemin, Jun, Choi Minho, Leo

Warnings: Smut, sub!Jongin, Stripper club universe, pegging, strong language, oral sex (both rec), cum eating, degradation during sex. Calls Jongin a whore. Also... Jongin calls Y/N Daddy!, fingers (both rec)

Mentions of being with Ten Lee and Taemin. This chapter is just Y/n and Jongin together.

MINORS PLS DO NOT INTERACT. Ty so much!!!

A/n: Not sure if Y/n will have intimate scenes with everyone just yet. But I had to release this part because the sub!Jongin community is pretty dry and I need it for my mental health and clear skin.

Okay, I'm rambling.. also I'm obsessed with LET ME IN by Exo. It's been on repeat since Monday. I even play the slowed version. THE VOCALSSS.

If you enjoy my work please reblog it. I appreciate it!

SMUT BELOW THE CUT

"Where the fuck is Lee Taemin?!" You scream. You swallow hard, and your throat is raw. You walk around the lockers trying to find your main attraction for tonight. 

He knows how vital that headliner spot is. People come from far distances to see him perform.

The last thing you need is to deal with disgruntled customers tonight. 

You see Ten walk past you in a fishnet bodysuit covered in body glitter, and you grab his arm. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

Ten turns around with his other hand still gripping the sizeable clear trash bag of dollar bills. "Umm, I'm going to count my money in your office. What's up?" His hisses. 

"Where the fuck is your friend, Taemin?" You ask. 

"Umm.." Ten avoids eye contact and looks down at the floor. "I have no idea."

You step closer to him and are less than an inch away from him. "Look at me, Ten."

His eye contact connects with yours, and he stares at you. "Yes?"

"Where is Taemin?"

"In the parking lot with Jimin."

"Thank you, baby," you pull him closer and kiss him.

You let it linger for a bit, and then you pull away. You head out of the locker room's back door and search the parking lot for the infamous pink Lamborghini. 

You see it in the back of the parking lot and race over to the car with your heels clicking against the pavement. 

You find yourself at the passenger side window and knock on it. Taemin jumps, and grabs his chest. 

"Roll down the window, drama queen!" you yell. You want to yank him out of the car because he has been MIA for the last few hours.

Not to mention he's still in his regular clothes, and his set is coming up soon. 

"Heyyy! Y/n," Taemin greets you. 

The marijuana smoke hits your face before he can say anything else. Both of their eyes are bloodshot red, and you are irritated, to say the least. 

"Get out of the car. You're late for work!" 

Taemin fumbles with the door, and Jimin starts laughing. 

"You look nice. Y/n. Are you hiring by chance?" Jimin asks.

"Fuck, no," you spit. 

You grab Taemin's hand as he gets out of the car. 

"What's up, baby?" Taemin replies. 

 "Don't baby me! I put you on as a solo headliner for tonight and you're literally blowing it. You know I don't let you anyone go up there high or drunk."

"I know. I know. I'm not high though. I was just talking with Jimin about doing some music. He has a producer friend that can get our songs on the radio," Taemin explains. 

"Taemin, I can't let you go on stage like this. Go home."

"What?" Taemin glares at me with glossy eyes. 

"You heard me the first time. You can't come to work like this. It's the rules."

"No, c'mon this night is important."

"I can't give you special treatment just cause we're fucking. You gotta go home."

You sigh in disappointment. You wanted so much more for him. He'd worked so hard to get to that top spot. He was just as much of a crowd favorite as Kai.

Kai's departure was so unexpected. You were left scrambling to replace him.

But, that's when Taemin stepped up to the plate, and helped boost the club back to where it was when Kai was the headliner. 

"Y/n, please. C'mon."

"I said what I said."

You walk away from Taemin because you might say something you regret or can't take back if you say anything else.

You reach into your back pocket. Your hand is shaky as you stare down at your iPhone in your palm. You pull up your phone and dial your ex-husband's number. 

"Hello?"

"Jongin." 

You take a deep breath and almost hang up the phone.

But you're desperate and don't want to disappoint your customers. Especially since tonight is a packed house. 

"Yes?"

"I need a huge favor. Can you perform tonight as the headliner?"

"Y/n, you haven't talked to me in months and now you need me. Sounds like you're in a tough spot. Where's Taemin?"

"I had to send him home." You grab your keyring off your hip and open the back door. You close it behind you. 

"I'll be there in five. But, you owe me, Y/n."

"Yeah. Yeah. Thank you! Jongin."

You know you won't hear the last of it from everybody, but you are the owner of No Manners. You have to do what's best for business and put all personal feelings aside. 

You walk into your office and see Ten counting his money and clipping it together in stacks. 

"Thanks for telling me about Taemin."

"I told him to come in for work, but he doesn't listen."

"He knew how important tonight is for the club. I don't get why he would do that."

"Me either."

"But, Jongin is performing tonight."

“Jongin… Kim Jongin? Here at No Manners?”

"Yeah, he was my last choice. You already did your set tonight. I couldn't make you do a double."

"You know Taemin is going to be pissed about it."

"I don't care honestly."

"Tonight, is about to be interesting."

"Are you doing the VIP room tonight?"

"No, I'm done for tonight."

"Okay."

Ten glares at the door, and you turn around to see Jongin transformed into his alter-ego. 

Kai. 

Your jaw drops when you see him wearing that one outfit you hand-made for him that he refused to wear. His muscular tone body is even more toned than when you last saw him. 

The tan sheer materials cover his body perfectly, and the rhinestone highlights his manhood but still leaves much to the imagination. 

It looks even better than it did a year ago when you had him first put it on. 

"You look.. stunning, Jongin."

"It's Kai for tonight."

"Right," you snap back to earth and nod. "Did you give the DJ your music."

"Yeah, I'm doing a new routine."

"You still dance?"

"Not in clubs. But, I've been playing around with something. Trust me the crowd will enjoy it."

You look down at your watch. "Alright, well. Let me walk you out."

You head out of the office, and Jongin trails behind you. You are curious about what he's been up to since the divorce was finalized, but you're going to mind your business. 

"That outfit looks perfect on you."

"I know."

You and Jongin stand at the metallic string curtains, and you stare out into the crowd. Jun is wrapping up his set, and his music fades out. 

The DJ starts playing the melody of a beat you have never heard. "We got a special treat for you all tonight. Get your dollar bills out. Hell, bring out your 10s 20s and 100 dollar bills for this special guest, tonight. Everyone rise to your feet for the one and only, Kai."

After the DJ says his name, the crowd erupts into cheers, and Kai struts throughout the crowd. He goes up to a lady coming to the club since you first opened it up. 

Kai works his magic and dances on the customer, and she almost falls over. He catches her, and she screams. People start throwing cash at him. 

One of the younger strippers goes with a trash bag and starts picking up his money for him. 

Kai continues making his runs throughout the crowd and gives a couple lucky people, some special attention. He doesn't care the gender. He doesn't discriminate. 

You are quick to remember why he's always been a crowd favorite. 

Kai finally makes his way onto the stage. You watch him, and he whines his hips to the music, and you can almost get lost in his movement. 

You love the way he connects with the crowd. He always focuses on one person and sucks them into whatever he's doing.

Kai goes over to the pole and swings around it. He climbs to the top and slowly comes down.

 He rises up the pole again and swings around it. He drops down into a split, and he climbs up. The light turns off, and I head to the DJ booth, where the music still plays. 

A few moments pass, and then he's just wearing a rhinestone cover g strip. The crowd cheers even louder, and more people move closer to the stage, throwing money at him. Seeing all that money all over him, he works the pole even harder. 

Your jaw drops when you see your ex-husband in action. He's a natural for this lifestyle and the best to ever do it. 

After his set is over and he heads into his dressing room. The younger stripper walks towards his door with two large trash bags of money. 

You grab the money and knock on the door. "Come in!"

You open the door and place the oversized trash bags on the couch. You glance over to see Jongin cleaning the makeup off his face in front of the vanity. 

"Your set was amazing."

"I know. I’m sure you freaked out about the lights going out."

"Yeah, I thought something was wrong."

"You know I always know what I'm doing. You would have just talked me out of it."

"I know. I appreciate it. The club just isn't the same without you."

"I'm sure. You should let me come back."

"You know Ten and Taemin wouldn't like that."

"You're going to let them affect your business like that?"

"No, but things are calm backstage. You know you're a diva."

"You saw my fucking stage, right?" Jongin glares at you, and his gaze on you is stirring something up in you. 

"I did. You're a headliner. You've always been one. Especially since Choi Minho left. You brought something different."

"The crowd eats it up every single time."

"I know. You were amazing. You didn't miss a beat. How's life post stripper life?" You ask and sit down on the couch next to his vanity. 

"I'd be lying if I said it was easy. Too many people recognize me as a stripper. I honestly needed the money, tonight."

"If you needed help, why didn't you call me?"

Jongin laughs at your question. Why would he ask you for help? He shakes his head and wipes the glitter off his neck. 

"We haven't talked in almost five months. I wanted to put this life behind me. I didn't want to be some washed up stripper."

"You're not a washed-up stripper. You're a talented fucking dancer."

"I know but my resume is seven years an exotic dancer with you as my only reference."

"No one has called my phone. You know I would speak highly of you."

"Well, I haven't gotten any offers."

"Something will come. Listen don't worry about giving me any of the money. Keep it," You reply. 

You stand up, and Jongin stands up in front of you. He towers over you slightly by a few inches. You two are standing looking at each other. 

"I miss you."

The words uttered by Jongin feel personal and envelopes you in a way you can't describe. 

You stare into his eyes and brush his hair back from his face. His usual chocolate locks are an ashy gray hue. His beautiful face sparks something deep inside you.

This is still the Kim Jongin that knows all your deepest secrets. The man who held your hand through building this club. You were there for him when he got into dance school. So much history between the two of you. So much has happened. 

Your chest tightens, and you take a deep breath. The words are caught in his throat. 

"I miss you, too. But, we both know that the divorce was for the best."

"Because I wanted to leave this place and you didn't want to let me go. I wanted to grow past the gaze of desire. I want to be taken seriously."

"I hear you. I knew you leaving the club would affect me financially. I wasn't ready to make that move."

"Well, I will be here for the next month. So, tell your little princess Taemin that his spot is taken."

Jongin slides into his baggy jogging pants and grabs the trash bags.

You know that you need Jongin even though it will cause a rift between the other dancers. You know it's best for business. 

***

Jongin sits in his car and stares at the flashing LED light with the club's name, and he sits back in his seat. He wants to drive out of this parking lot and never return. 

But, the way they cheer his name and empty out their pockets for him is something that will have him returning back. 

Jongin arrives at home to his townhome, which is gate operated. He pulls into the front of his house. He grabs his money and heads into his home. He inserts his keys.

He tosses the bags of money at the door. He kicks off his shoes and heads upstairs to take a shower. 

Seeing you was more than emotional. He didn't know how he would respond to you. Nor did he see if he wanted to even talk to you. 

His phone lights up, and he sees a car at his gate. He lifts his phone to see a red Corvette with the top down. He hits the button to open the gate. 

What is it that you want this late? Did you come to say that you no longer need his services?

Jongin heads downstairs and opens the door. He watches you get out of the car and head up the stairs.

Your strapless jean jumpsuit dress hugs your body just right. Your red heels make you a bit taller, but still not taller than him. 

Jongin raises an eyebrow, and you lift your infamous Gucci bag packed with his favorite toys. 

"So, do you want to get fucked out here on your porch or do you want to invite me in?" You ask him. 

"Come in and fuck me."

***

You push Jongin against the couch, and he smirks at how you manhandled him.

You would be a fool to not want to fuck him after seeing him perform tonight. Everybody is probably going home to masturbate after the performance Jongin delivered tonight. 

"Jongin, my pretty boy." You lean forward and sit down on his lap cowgirl style. You whisper against his ear and nibble as you feel him rise underneath you. 

"I'm yours?" Jongin breathes out. 

"For tonight, yes." You reply. You run your red fingernails down the center of his chest. "Can I taste you? Ya know to reward you for doing such a great job tonight."

"Of course, mistress," Jongin moans. 

The aura of this man is so powerful, yet in your presence, this beauty is so submissive to you. No one would ever believe it if you told them. But, you wouldn't care. 

You move down his waist and get down onto the floor. Your knees dig into the soft light carpet supporting you. You reach up to help me get out of those sweaters. His dick springs to action because he isn't wearing any underwear.  

"Damn, you're always so hard for me," you whisper, tracing your fingers along his length.

"Fuck, I've missed you, daddy."

Jongin loves to call you different things whenever you two are intimate, but daddy is the one thing you love the most. He's the only guy to ever do it. 

"Mmm… I haven't heard that name in months." You grab his dick and swirl your tongue around the head. Your core tingles, and you work your mouth up and down on him. 

"Please.." Jongin emits a moan, and it makes your heart flutter.

This was your favorite way to see the real Jongin. With his legs spread for you and moaning and panting. You haven't even really got into it, and already you are bringing him close to his release. 

"Please? What? You like it? Or you want me to stop?" You taunt him. 

"No, please keep going. I'm not going to last," he whimpers. 

Of course, he's not. He always reacts to you so well. You love that about him. It doesn't take a lot for him to come. He's been like this since you two first fucked. 

"You know other people might not like how easily you cum, but I'm honored how fast I can make you come."

"I know.. I'm only like this with you."

You stop and sit up on your knees. You watch his eyes spring open, and he looks down at you. "Why'd you stop?"

"You need to work for that nut, sir." 

You lie back against the carpet with your legs open. Showing him you’re pretty pussy without any underwear.

You want to taste his nut on your tongue, but you want to make him work for it. You know he's always up for a challenge. 

"Eat me until I come, Nini."

Jongin doesn't hesitate, moves down on the floor, and holds onto your legs as his tongue probes your sensitive region. You can feel the heat building inside you as Jongin's skilled tongue works its magic. You moan and writhe under his touch. 

One thing about him is he knows how to please you and will do all he can to ensure you know it.

His tongue explores your slit, and he catches your juices dripping down because of how turned on you are from hearing him moan for you. 

You could get off just from hearing him moan. You have in the past, recorded the audio of two of you having sex and used it for your personal time when you were alone.

Jongin sticks a finger inside you, and your body reacts to him quickly. He pulls it out and sucks it on his finger. You love the sight of seeing feast on you. 

He pushes two fingers inside of you and does the same thing again. "I've missed your sweet taste. Nobody taste like you."

Jongin leans down and kisses your pussy. His soft lips against yours make your body jolt. He is getting lost in pleasing you. Everything he does feels so good.

You can feel the heat building up inside you as Jongin continues exploring your body with his fingers. You moan softly, lost in the pleasure he is giving you. His kisses are gentle and loving, making you feel cherished and desired.

Jongin kisses on your pearl while he fingers you. You ride his fingers until you squirt all over them. He sucks your juices off his fingers. Jongin moves down and replaces his tongue where his fingers were to slurp out the rest of your release. You grab the back of his head while he sucks the soul of your body. 

"Fuck, Jongin!" You cry out and continue to ride the wave of your orgasm. It feels too good, and now you're sensitive to the touch. You push him off of you. 

Jongin lies next to you and you get down to his dick. You are on the right side of him and sucking him faster than before.

No one has eaten your pussy like that since you were last with him, so you know he's earned the right to come. 

You stick your finger in your dripping pussy to wet your finger. You stick it into his ass. He's always liked it, especially when you give him head. 

"Shit.. you know I love when you do that, daddy, please," Jongin whines. 

Just like that, he comes so hard in your mouth, and you swallow it. You love the taste of him. You climb on top of him. 

"Tonight is just an one time, thing, okay? If you're going to be at the club for a month. I don't want us to mess around. Cool?"

"Yea, of course. We're just getting it out of system."

"Exactly."

You stand up, unzip your jean dress, and toss it on the couch. You grab your Gucci bag and head upstairs. You still have your heels on. 

You make your way to his bedroom. You grab your strap-on and put it on. You sit on the bed and wait for him to come upstairs. You pour lube on your strap-on and coat it perfectly. 

Jongin comes upstairs. He's completely nude. He gets on top of you and slides down onto your strap-on. You feel the weight of his body on top of you as he starts to move back and forth. 

You lean back against the bed and watch him bounce on it. You like watching him fuck himself on your strap. 

"You're so.. naughty. Jongin. You're fucking yourself on my strap. You missed me that bad?" You coax him. 

"Maybe," he giggles. 

You slap his ass and grab it while he continues to ride you. In some weird way, you still have feelings for him.

Something you probably won't admit to him, and you don't know how you'll be able to survive a month with him at the club. 

"Maybe? You're acting like a whore."

"Cause you make me this way."

You lift him up and hold on to him while keeping the strap inside. You lay him on the bed on his back. You hold his legs open while you stroke into him. 

"Now stroke yourself, whore," You instruct him, and he obeys you. 

You grind your hips and continue to pound his tight ass. You miss moments like this. You know he's needy for the next nut by how he's jacking his dick. 

Your hand covers his as you pump harder until him until he comes again. 

"I love you, Jongin," You lean forward and slip your tongue into his mouth. 

"I love you, too, Daddy."

The two of you fall asleep in his bed, and the following day you wake up. Jongin still is sleeping, and you sit on the edge of the bed. 

You look at your group chat with The Lee Twins. 

Ten: Where are you? Y/n

Taemin: Damn, you didn't come home last night. Are you really that mad at me? I'm really sorry, Y/n. 

You: It's okay. You're spot is being replaced for the month. I'll see you two soon. 

You know things are about to get crazy, but you know Jongin can take the club to new heights. 

Read Part 2

[liamlawsonlesbian]

jo liamlawsonlesbian's f1 fics

because I didn't join f1blr until several months after I started writing f1 fic, I thought I would make a masterlist of what I've written for this fandom thus far

(why now? because I'm procrastinating, of course)

In the order I wrote them:

when we're cheek to cheek (i feel it in my teeth): Max Verstappen has become a little obsessed with Charles Leclerc's neck. The day after Monaco 2023, Max and Charles go for a drive. - lestappen, 1.8k, rated M.

baby, why don't you come over?: Max sends Charles a drunken booty call, even though they're just friends. The next day, when they're sober, Charles calls his bluff. - lestappen, 3.4k, rated E

maybe the sky might not always be blue: Once upon a time, Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc were on a short-lived Disney Channel show together, and Max had a crush on Charles. Now, they're successful adult actors, and Charles is cast as Max's love interest in a movie. - lestappen, 8.8k, rated T

powerful, with a little bit of tender: Pierre wants to make Yuki feel good. - yukierre, 2.1k, rated E

"Lance Moi" (n): Deux Moi but Good, Actually: Frustrated with the unseriousness of Deux Moi, Lance starts an F1 gossip account. (Saw Leclerc in Monaco - Anon pls). - lance & everyone, 3.5k, rated G

canine teeth in the side of my neck: Charles starts biting Max when Max wins races. Max might spiral, a bit. (alt-2024 season) - lestappen, 7.2k, rated E

would have loved you (in a day or two): Yuki tells Pierre that in another universe, they're in love. Pierre can't stop thinking about Other Pierre and Yuki. - yukierre, 2.2k, rated E

no such friend: Charles is in his head, and asks Max to fuck him out of it. It goes differently than he expects. - lestappen, 2.9k, rated E

i can feel the sun on you: Charles is a prince under pressure. Alex is an aspiring novelist trying to make ends meet. They find each other in Buenos Aires. (Chalex Roman Holiday AU). - chalex, 12k, rated T

i don't wanna miss you tonight: Before the Las Vegas Grand Prix, Fernando sends Max a tiktok compilation highlighting how comfortable Charles is touching Max. Max can't stop thinking about it. - lestappen, 1.8k, rated T

are you down? (can you let me know): Oscar doesn't want to feel like a rookie anymore. He decides to fuck Fernando Alonso about it. - oscar/fernando, 2.5k, rated E

you don't have to know that it's haunted: Charles is a witch. Max finds out. - lestappen, 8.3k, rated T

still high (with a little feeling): Lando has a revelation about himself. Yuki helps him out. - tsando, 4.4k, rated T

grow the apple, keep all the seeds: Nico Rosberg, second ever female WDC, visits Charles the day before her first grand prix weekend. - rule 63 charles/nico, 2k, rated E

(don't read) the last page: Dr. Max Verstappen gets hired as the expert medical consultant for a new Netflix show. Charles Leclerc, former teen heartthrob, stars. - lestappen, 7.4k, rated E

[captain-mj]

"It’s because he’s doing some illegal Things (with Graves) as well :)" ELABERTIOJ PLS???

srry am drunl 😳

Yeah, I can definitely do that CW: Drug use and sex work

Price shouldn't. He knew that. But every week or two, he broke down and did this. Honestly, he didn't feel that guilty either. Just knew if this got out, he'd never live it down. His reputation would be ruined.

Graves arrived, smiling at him. "You called?"

"Get undressed." Price ordered, leaning against the wall.

Graves blushed and slowly took everything off, moving so Price could see very inch that he exposed. Little scars on his back. Freckles and beauty marks. Tight ass.

"Fucking hell."

"Love that no matter how many times I undress, you still get so excited." Graves commented, but Price could see the creeping blush. As much as he tried to pretend he was suave and experienced, Price did something to him. Made him a blushing fucking virgin. Or maybe that was part of the act. "Didn't prep myself. I know you wanted to last time."

Price took a deep drag of the cigar and set it down, putting Graves over his desk. "Pay a lot of money. Want to do exactly what I want. That's the point, right? The fantasy?"

Graves nodded and moved so his foot was on the edge of the desk. It gave Price a better view of him. His pupils were wider than normal. A clear sign he likely was not sober.

Price kissed him hard. "You're perfect, love."

Graves grinned and arched a little. "Will have to charge you, but you know that. You have the money right?"

Price ignored him in favor of kissing down his body. He wasn't sure which part would destroy his life faster. That he hired a prostitute or that he looked the other way at his drug use. Either way, he couldn't help himself. He sank to his knees and dragged Graves to the edge, ignoring his little squeal. His tongue squirmed it's way into Graves, his hands keeping him still so he couldn't escape it.

Graves twisted and writhed like an animal, never able to get more than an inch away.

Price quickly lost himself in the repetitive movements. Slowly using his tongue to break him open and get him prepped. After a moment, he pushed his finger in too, just to get him more open. He wants to own him. Every inch of skin. Every muscle that he can. Maybe he could just rip him to shreds or eat him whole. Run his tongue along his veins and drink him down.

Graves shuddered and tangled his fingers in his hair. "Come on now. You only have me tonight. I'm sure you want to actually fuck me."

Price bit the inside of his thigh as hard as he could, drawing blood. "Fuck off. I'm well aware."

Graves moaned, looking at the ceiling. "You're lucky I have a soft spot for you, John. Otherwise, I might not let you treat me like this. Such foul language. All your friends know how you treat me?"

Price licked over the bite. "No. That's why I hire you. Privacy."

"John. Hurry up. I'd like to get fucked some time today, please." Graves broke, not above begging. Never above begging. He wanted to be rearranged and broken in bed. Something John specialized in.

Price picked him up, balancing him so his legs were over his shoulders. He continued to eat him out as he walked, balancing him with ease. Graves squealed and squirmed, never happy about the fact that Price could carry him so easily. When he hit the bed, he bounced just a little before he just fell back into the bed.

Price pounced and grabbed the rope, easily tying Graves so he was bent in half. His knees were tied to his chest, leaving vulnerable.

"What do you fantasize about?" Graves asked as Price poured lube on himself. "Keeping twinks in your bed?"

"Not twinks. Just you. Just want you." One day, he swore he just wasn't going to let him leave. Would keep him tied up until he promised he'd be his sugar baby. Or maybe just his pet. Either way. As long as he got all of him. Could douse the dark feeling in his chest. Maybe he could finally be human all the time when he could come home and take as much pleasure as he wanted.

Graves flushed. "You flatter me." He exposed his throat and Price nipped it as he pushed in. He was purposely a bit rougher, stretching him just right. A little pain always made Graves melt. His body bending and trying to take even more if he could. "Not so deep."

Price thrust in hard and fit his hand around his throat. He squeezed hard to watch Graves's eyelashes flutter. "Gorgeous." He thrust in harder, ignoring the littler whimper. His cock leaked on to both of their stomachs, hard and red at the tip. "You enjoy this so much. Little whore."

Graves gasped and his eyes rolled back as Price hit the right spot. He cruelly teased him, hitting it once, twice, missing it entirely. Until Graves was trying to angle himself to get it right. Tears filled his eyes, but Price focused on just dragging it out. Letting him get riled up.

"John, please."

Price missed again, going as deep as he could instead.

"Lover boy, come on!"

Dirty trick. Evil honestly.

Price wrapped his arms around him and drove into him over and over and over again. Right there for him. Graves gasped and tried to catch his breath, tears flowing down his face.

Gorgeous.

He came all over himself. Price licked a stripe up the cum on his chest before he came inside him. Coating his insides in it. Graves fluttered around him, biting his lip as he gazed up at Price.

"One day, I'll convince you to never leave."

Graves stared up at him. Something like pity in his drugged up eyes. "I'm sure."

[skinnywalker]

All in a day's work (Male Reader x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Carol Danvers x Tony Stark) NSFW under cut

"So male reader is a prostitute who they hire to fuck so he gets there and they're all sitting in the living room on the couch naked so the Male reader immediately and he tells them all to get off the the couch and he sits on the couch and tells Steve to bend over his lap and he spanks him and then tells him to start riding his cock and so he starts riding him and after a while he tells him to get up then he stands up and he tells nat to lay on the floor and tells Steve to start fucking her and he does he pounds her and he tells Carol to do the same and Tony starts fucking her then he tells Wanda to get and the floor and he starts pounding her also. They're all fucking for a while and the reader tells them to stop and he tells everyone to get up and he gets on his hands and knees and tells Steve to start fucking him and so he does and as he's fucking him the male reader tells them all to start masturbating Steve fucks him for awhile until he pulls out and the male reader gets on his hands and knees and Steve cums all over the male readers face then he sits back down and just then Tony stands up and cums all over the male Reader's face and then he sits back down and he gets up and sits on the couch and tells Carol to ride him and she rides him for a while and after a while he cums inside her. You can decide the ending."

You're good at your job. You must be to be hired by Tony Stark.

"Me and my team have been under a bit too much stress, I was thinking we could use your services"

Damn, you must be really good getting paid nearly 10,000. Not that you were complaining. Getting to fuck the avengers was something most dreamed of.

At the door, a bodyguard greeted you.

"You must be Mr. L/n."

"Yes, that's me. Is Mr. Stark ready for me?"

"Yes, he is just up stairs in his office. Follow me"

The bodyguard lead you up numberless staircases and elevators to the top level of the mansion. The room walls were covered in massive windows overviewing the city and in the center of the room laid the couch. The one he and spoke of when he had bought your shift. He sat there with captain america , the scarlet witch, the black widow and captain marvel. You felt your breath hitch in your throat. What a sight before him.

"Good evening Mr. L/n. Are you ready for our session?"

Tony slipped behind him wrapping his digits down the other man's pants.

"Y-yes sir"

"Steve you have him first"

The blonde pinned Y/n deep into the couch yanking free his boxers. He slid his fingers into the man's mouth coating them in spot.

"Flip over"

He obeyed as steve freed his fingers from the warm cavern. He slap deep into Y/n's ass giving him pretty red blossoms mixed with his spit.

"Good boy. Already so well behaved gor me."

Y/n bucked into Steve's nees desperate for friction of any kind other than the abuse to his backside.

"No, no, no. You can come yet."

He whined

"Need to show you how we treat whores like you!"

Steve pushed him back on to the couch then turned to grabbed Nat and pull her into the floor ripping off her shirt. Tony followed suit pinning down Wanda. Y/n could do nothing but sit and watch the couples make love.

"Ahhh~ see y-you don't to be with us i-if you don't be good."

"Oh please stevie!"

He sat still so on edge of bliss.

"I-i'll be good for everyone! Please let me fuck too!"

Steve yanked Natasha back by the hair as he hammered deeper into her. All the while keeping eye contact with Y/n. Tony however abandoned Wanda to go straight to Y/n and start topping him. Pounding out the high of his organism.

"Pl-lease steve! I- ahhhh! I want you too!"

Steve grinned darkly and yanked Y/n's face up by his hair.

"Suck me."

Y/n slobbed, hollowing out his cheeks. His eyes filled with tears slipping out all over Steve's meat. He felt liked his brain was getting fuck out of both holes.

"Ohhhh! I'm so close baby"

Tony pulled Y/n's head towards him and came all over his face. Steve joined him, painting his face with glossy cum.

"Oh wow you are really a professional aren't you?"

Y/n smiled.

"All in a night's work Mr. Stark."

Tags: @lovefanfiction01 @chrisevansxmalereader @innerpiratefun

[metalbuckaroo]

Alright, my love, I got some prompts for you! You have free reign with whatever you want to do with it but as long as you stay true to innocent reader x biker bucky cause fuck! I'll send a smutty one next 🥴😏

“Are you blushing?”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“I’m asking because I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

DO THE THING PLS ILY

HONEY! 🙃 innocent reader x biker bucky is brewing in my brain sooo hard rn.

Bucky was nervous about hiring such a pure looking bartender, but he needed the help and there weren't many who were willing to deal with the club of bikers that came in daily.

You just really needed the money. The comments were easy to ignore for the pay that Bucky offered.

Though, the comments and cat calls thinned out fairly soon after you were hired, and rarely happened when Bucky was in the bar.

"Another, babygirl." He said, sitting the empty beer bottle on the counter.

You felt your cheeks burn like they had every other time he'd throw a pet name out like it was nothing; popping the cap off of another beer and sitting it in front of him.

Exhaling the grey smoke, Bucky tilted his head to the side as you turned back to wiping the glasses out. An amused smirk tugging at his lips. "Are you blushing?" He mused, narrowing his steel blue eyes at you. "I-uh- no." You said, shaking your head as you cleared your throat.

"Sweetheart, look at me." He purred, your heart fluttering in your chest. You turned back to face him, chewing your cheek. "Need something, Mr Barnes?"

He chuckled and took a quick drink of his beer, leaning his forearms on the bar. "Your cheeks are as red as cherries, sweets." His words only made your cheeks burn even more.

Bucky knew what he was doing, trying to get a rise out of the polite girl that blocked out any filthy compliments just to get the job done for the day.

"Am I the reason for that? Tell the truth." He dared, leaning forward slightly. "Of course." You said softly, looking to the counter. "Are you flirting with me?" You asked, squinting your eyes at him.

"Maybe. You do look very beautiful tonight." He smirked, taking another drag from the cigarette that was between his gloved fingers.

You breathed a nervous laugh and shook your head. "I think, maybe you've had enough to drink, Mr. Barnes." He rolled his eyes at you, taking another drink from the bottle. "Please, baby. Three isn't near enough. I'm asking because I've seen the way you look at me." He shrugged, the bottle making a small thud when he sat it back down.

"I don't-" the challenging look he gave stopped you, making you laugh lightly and go back to drying the glasses. "You're my boss, that's unprofessional." You mumbled, another chuckle leaving Bucky.

"This is a bar, not a library. It's ok to look, I do too."

[mankillercalledbunny]

@dragonflight203 you should not have encouraged me (thank you for this pls ask any questions you may have).

Anyway so some backstory on the Secret Good Mass Effect Ending That Lives In My Head and more info about Scholar

In this AU they just. Built the Crucible correctly. In the first place. So the Reapers get destroyed but EDI and the Geth are fine (listen I'm a linguist & anthropologist AND I cried like a fucking baby about the Geth like 4 times, plus I'm a sucker for an everyone lives AU). Shepard is promoted to Admiral and Kaidan gets a lateral transfer to Captain after they both spend 18 months of first being in hospital and then physical recovery/PT & OT before finally being cleared for duty. As an Admiral Shep can't command a ship himself but he DOES need a flagship, and what do you know the Normandy has been rebuilt after her crash and needs a Captain, how convenient! (Thanks Hackett!)

Kaidan serves both as Admiral Shepard's Chief of Staff/XO and Captain of the Normandy and also the second human Spectre (that poor man does so much Paperwork), Cortez is Kaidan's XO/first mate, and Specialist Traynor is Kaidan's second mate/Comms specialist and also manages Shep's inbox. Shep's staff is thus Kaidan, Cortez, and Traynor, with ship-based concerns going to Kaidan and Admiralty/Fleet concerns going to Shep. Additions to Shepard's personal staff, as they would also be a presence on the flagship, means that new hires are subject to senior staff approval and Shepard cannot make unilateral decisions there; Kaidan has veto power.

With that context out of the way, here's more about Scholar!

Scholar has a Geth Hunter (not Prime, I changed it) platform and uses their stealth/cloak ability to eliminate observation bias in their data (people act differently when they're being watched—solution: prevent them knowing they're being watched); they have added/modified their face plates and light ranges so they're capable of a wider range of expressions to facilitate communication with non-Geth - basically this Geth has eyebrows and can colour-shift so they're not always Obnoxious Hunter Blue Light; they actually prefer a warm muted gold/amber as this colour is easily visible to almost all species and is generally regarded as positive (think the nice yellow kind of light from a living room lamp)

Like Legion, they speak in plural first-person, and the platform's consensus are all interested in learning about, understanding, and improving relations with other species

They arrived on the Normandy to speak to Shepard about joining his* staff after having spent the last ~2 years helping relations between the Geth and the Quarians; they learned the benefits of working with other species and wish to expand on that knowledge to advance relations between the Geth and the peoples of the galaxy from both sides *[I've only played as M!Shep so far but insert your preferred Shepard here]

Shepard was definitely surprised to say the least when they showed up to request permission to study the Normandy crew and use it as a jumping off point to study the species of the Galaxy and was even more surprised that they came with 1. A pre-selected appropriate name and 2. A letter of recommendation co-signed by Admiral Tali'Zorah (professional/character witness) and Doctor Liara T'Soni (academic/peer reviewer) which recommends them as a Geth Cultural Attaché to Shepard's personal staff

Scholar is very polite and agrees to wait in the briefing room while the senior staff discuss; they understand that they are very intimidating and also in Someone Else's Space in addition to basically asking for both a job and what is functionally an ethnographic placement, and while Tali and Liara are friends, it's still Kaidan's ship at the end of the day (Shepard just works here, he's no longer In Command)

After they debate it Kaidan and Shepard basically interview Scholar about what they want to study and why, etc. There's also the classic interview question of "why do you want to work here/for us?" and Scholar explains that "you, your crew, and this ship represent both the best humanity has to offer, and a unique position from which to observe other species and interspecies interaction. It would serve well as a primary ethnographic location and was spoken highly of by both Admiral Zorah and Doctor T'Soni. Additionally, it was held in supremely regard by Legion, and that regard was passed along to us when Legion freed our people. They felt honoured to have known this ship and its people." Which makes Shepard need a minute

Kaidan approves their presence aboard ship on the proviso that he receive a preliminary copy of their final ethnography, that EDI be informed of their presence when/before they cloak so that their presence can be tracked, and that they respect any established crew boundaries e.g. if someone is working and doesn't want to/can't talk or be observed they be actually left in peace and not secretly watched, which Scholar find eminently reasonable, and Shepard promises to get a proper contract drawn up so there's some Sentient Resources Ass-Covering everyone can say was done

Scholar and EDI talk for like 18 hours straight at one point about their respective observations of human behaviour and this crew in particular while the Normandy is docked BC neither of them requires food or sleep; EDI does get interrupted by needing to perform occasional ship functions, and occasionally Joker chimes in with comments when he's present, which Scholar dutifully notes down

Scholar keeps their ethnographic notes in three categories: Incident/Observation, Analysis, and Personal Thoughts, meaning that sometimes an entry goes like this:

"Incident: a crew member referred to us using a derogatory term and made rude statements. We departed the environment."

"Analysis: Crew member had previous trauma involving other Geth units which resulted in a difficulty separating personal/individual experiences from feelings about our people as a whole. Behaviour course but understandable in origin."

"Personal Thoughts: :("

4 days later

"Incident: Crew member previously rude came and apologised, cited self-reflection and intent towards improved behaviour and understanding of Geth as a species, promises to be more open with us in future. Invited us to attend a 'get-together' later this week with other crew members from the same deck."

"Analysis: crew member has reflected on previous actions and was perhaps behaving responsively as influenced by own trauma rather than acting with conscious intent. Actions display personal drive towards growth and collaboration, as well as reflecting previously noted culture of acceptance, healing, and open communication amongst the crew."

"Personal thoughts: :)"

Scholar posts up for about a week solid in the mess hall just to observe. They record all their notes with crew member names but anonymise after using random serial number designations, but when Shepard and/or Kaidan is reading their draft reports they can usually figure out who it is (which is how Kaidan finds out that Steve is the one who swapped the coffee for decaf after noticing the Captain's worrying habit of drinking straight espresso at 3am. Sorry Steve the Geth accidentally ratted you out)

Because their main non-Geth interactions have been Quarian, the music form Scholar is most familiar with is theirs, and the Quarians have a fondness for choral and other collective music styles (they live in a flotilla okay they definitely have Space Shanties), so Scholar's form of creative expression is to write choral music. They write mathematically perfect choral music which, if you analyse it, is based in fractals. They sing every part and it's extremely complex and beautiful. They're also a big fan of polyrhythms/syncopation so they provide their own percussion accompaniment, and I like to think that eventually a couple crew members who also like similar styles start teaching them how to improv and expand their musical horizons

They very much talk like an exceedingly polite academic, and their "relaxed/casual" stance is the Geth equivalent of parade rest with their 'hands' folded behind their back

The first time they accompany Shepard in their position as Cultural Attaché they prepare a statement just in case it is necessary to explain their circumstances/position on staff. Turns out they're meeting Garrus who has worked with them several times before while visiting Tali, which is a relief to everyone involved because it means they don't have to explain their presence and Garrus is already chill with them. He even gives them additional tips on how they might ease their introduction to future diplomats and other important figures Shepard's team might meet with

I'm debating whether or not Scholar would have some kind of unique/identifying markings or pain job as a distinguishing feature, and whether this is another thing they've done to ease communication by distinguishing this platform or if individualisation of platforms has started to become more common as the Geth adjust to sapience and external communication.

If anyone wants more info or has questions pls ask, I love character development!

Me: I will not make a mass effect oc

Also me: so in the secret good mass effect ending that lives in my head where we just built the crucible right in the first place there is a big Geth Prime who has decided to become a xenoanthropologist and has designated themself as Scholar who studies on and becomes the Geth Cultural Attaché for the Normandy under Admiral Shepard and Ship Captain Alenko-

[poppy-metal]

well fuck. now i have a lactation kink???? it's 2 am and i've been staring slack jawed at the screen since i got the notification for the milf chaser!eren post pls... no more sleep for me i'm simply ascending!! how do you write these things i never even had a mommy kink before ur blog i'm @#$^%* cryinf the way that eren would press you up against the lockers between his shifts at the pool (though he pretends to be suave and cool he is SWEATING for reasons that have nothing to do w the heat) to desperately suck on ur sensitive tits while fingering you, after impatiently pushing aside your panties and shorts,,, while you press your face to his hair trying to keep your whimpering quiet so that your kids at the pool don't notice that you're gone (fuck!!!!!!!) - ☁️

bruh once eren gets a taste, he's addicted. always manages to sneakily slide behind you or get close to you and give you a message, one time when no one is looking he fully comes up behind you and squeezes your tits, "gonna milk these puppies dry, later", giving you a peek on the cheek, "mommy" just bc he knows what it does to you, the bastard.

cut to him and you in the lockeroom later, him pinning your wrists down bc you have a bad habit of still being shy, of trying to hide around him, but also just the feel of his hands, rough and calloused, and the heat of his glare everytime he yanks your arms down and away from yourself, never fails to make your panties wet. "You're gonna learn to sit back without a fight and give me what's mine one day, baby. You can't run from me, from this. Push your fucking tits out"

and just for that he abuses your nipples with his mouth and tongue and lips, pinching your puffy stud with his teeth until the milk is flowing and you're gasping, desperately humping his thigh between your legs as you pant into his hair, dazed.

He always pulls back with a little droplet of milk on the corner of his lips, tongue swiping out to get it. He looks you over w satisfaction like that.

He'll dirty talk you too, about how as soon as you start getting dry he's gonna fuck another baby into you, "gonna- fuck, make you my little fucking housewife someday, steal you from that cuck you call a husband and be your new daddy, gonna keep these tits full no matter how many brats i gotta breed into you"

It becomes a routine and you're both crazy for it, its only when your husband starts getting suspicious, the summer months start coming to a close, that you reluctantly try and break things off. A mistake.

Hadn't he told you, you couldn't run? From him? Are you stupid?

It isn't until a full month of not going back to the pool, of starting disconnect out your window, when your little kids come squealing into the kitchen jumping with excitement over their friend being back, that their dad, your husband, had hired a new pool guy and isn't it just the happiest coincidence its their favorite lifeguard?

"Mommy, mommy, isn't it great!!"

Eren leaning against the archway to your patio like he belongs there, a glint of something dangerous in his eyes.

"Yeah, mommy," he mocks, "isn't it great?"

[polyghostfacehours]

hello!! i’m the anon who requested headcanons of married life with stu and i just wanted to say that you ABSOLUTELY did it justice omg 🥺🥺🥺 it was so sweet and my heart is full!! thank you so much for even doing it you’re so sweet pls ❤️❤️❤️ one of the things that really stood out to me in those headcanons was the fact that stu might use his money as leverage during arguments and it brought up so MANY THOUGHTS. any chance you might do a part 2 of headcanons of married life with stu but more focused on the ugly side of marriage and perhaps there could be some elaboration about that toxic trait of his 👉👈 NOW IM SUPER INTRIGUED ABOUT YOUR TAKE ON THE MORE UGLY SIDE OF MARRIAGE BETWEEN STU AND READER because ahhh this was just *chef’s kiss* 👌

AAAH BABY THANK YOU. I'm so glad you liked it. And I'll absolutely do a Part 2 for you! I love exploring the darker, more fucked up dynamics of being in a relationship with characters so I am always down to explore that and let my thoughts out on it.

Read Part 1 Here

TW: Toxicity in a relationship, some abusive dynamics

The Ugly Side of Marriage w/Stu

So, like I said, Stu will at one point use his money as leverage in an argument.

This is especially so if you're a stay-at-home spouse, but even if you have a career, chances are you wouldn't make near the amount of money he makes from his parents' business.

You'd have an argument and Stu would absolutely pull the "I literally pay for everything in this fucking house, babe. You reeeally want to give me shit for *insert problem here*?"

Stu would guilt trip you into sex. If you're not in the mood, he gets pissy the older he gets. This is because he keeps his energy and affection level as he ages, and doesn't understand why you may not. Or rather, he understands why, he just isn't the most empathetic person.

If you have kids, Stu will want to hire a nanny to take care of the bad parts of raising a kid, so that you guys can focus on the fun parts of it. When/if you don't agree with that, he just points out that he was raised on nannies a lot and he turned out just fine!

If you point out that he literally killed people, Stu could explode at that in an incredibly rare fit of anger. Like, so what? You still married him and accepted that part of him. Don't you dare tell him he's fucked up now.

The anger comes not from you pointing that out, but more so the cold reminder that his parents weren't really around much. He's hearing that you're saying he'll be just like his parents and his kid will grow up to resent him too. Even though that's not what you said, like, at all lol.

He can be scary when he rants in anger. Stu getting genuinely angry is an incredibly rare occurrence. Like he just doesn't get angry much. But when he does, his rants mirror a lot of how he is in the climax of the film: loud, frightening, and off-kilter. It's a scary moment for you and I wouldn't be surprised if you question your relationship anytime it happens.

Stu had never and will never hurt you, but it might slip out during the rant that, y'know, if he wanted to he could. And that thinly veiled threat is an incredibly abusive way to get his way, even if he'd never follow through. It's the principal.

I can see him getting more easily jealous the older he gets. He's hot as fuck when he's young, but once he hits the point that he starts getting self-conscious of his aging looks, you can expect some possessiveness to come out it.

You'd have to assure him each time it happens that you're not gonna leave him cause like, you're getting old too lol, you came for his hotness stayed for the energy, man. It'll wear on you cause he starts bringing it up more and more.

Speaking of aging, as you do Stu might make a comment here and there about getting work done on you in your later years. He has the money so why not? Stu's absolute lack of tact when he says this though is toxic as hell, whether you want to go through with PS or not. He does suggest it with pure intentions, and even mentions getting work in himself done, but its still uncalled for so don't be afraid to call him out for it if it makes you feel bad.

If Billy is still around in his life, you'll have to deal with whatever shit he throws at you too. Stu will always defend you against Billy, since you're his love and Billy isn't anymore, but Billy's manipulation and history together will get to him occasionally. You'll for sure feel like he still puts Billy on a pedestal and cares about him more than you sometimes, even though that isn't Stu's intentions or reasoning at all. Billy's just a convincing man who gets even better with words as times goes by.

[thetragicallynerdy]

tell us about undeadwood pls?

HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

Okay! So! UnDeadwood is a four-part Weird West themed mini series put on by Critical Role, an Actual Play TTRPG company. Critical Role's main stuff is typical fantasy DnD actual play show streamed on youtube/twitch/in podcast form. UnDeadwood is also an actual play show, but using a different TTRPG system (Deadlands: Reloaded, which uses the Savage Worlds core system). It's a weird West setting - Old West frontier mixed with zombies and the like.

Oh! And it's also set in the sleepy town of Deadwood, and uses a lot of the places and people from the show Deadwood. (I've never seen the show, but many of the usual players in it - who are all based in history - such as Al Swearengen, Joanie Stubbs, EB Farnum, and Doc Cochran, all make appearances. And Johnny. Can't forget Johnny!) Deadwood was a big gold mining camp in South Dakota, and was known for being a particularly lawless settlement.

All that aside - it's a show about five newcomers to Deadwood who get hired to investigate some weird happenings around the mining camp. It's got an absolutely amazing cast (Brian W. Foster as the GM, Anjali Bhimani, Matthew Mercer, Travis Willingham, Marisha Rey, and Khary Peyton. Also Ivan van Norman as the barkeep), and in my opinion, is the best thing Critical Role has done production wise. It's got an amazing set, costumes, miniatures, etc for an actual play show.

And for an improv based show? It's got some of the rawest fucking lines. Just absolute brilliance. For example:

I've seen enough people be animals out there, to know that if God made us in his image, God's every bit as feral as the things he created. - Clayton Sharpe, played by Matthew Mercer.

Also the characters are so fucking good!! They are:

Clayton Sharpe - a gun for hire with some Secrits who can barely hit the broad side of a barn (we love him he's baby)

Matthew Mason - the new Reverend in town, a bumbling sweetheart of a man (when he's not being scary) who's also got some Secrits

Miriam Landisman - a 'purveyor of goods needed' who can charm anyone into doing anything, who also has Secrits she's hiding

Arabella Whitlock - an occult enthusiast and rich girl who's grieving her dead sister - guess what? She's also got Secrits

'Aly' Aloysius Fogg - a bounty hunter and suave motherfucker who - you guessed it! ALSO HAS SECRITS

Basically all of them are full of secrets like Regina George's hair and it's absolutely amazing. I've listened to the podcast like half a dozen times and I'm still noticing new things on my most recent re-watch.

UnDeadwood is also the first fandom I've ever been really involved in!! It got me started writing fanfic, and I now mod a very small discord for UnDeadwood fans. I've made SO many fandom pals through it, and I love them very much. It's a really small fandom, and very quiet these days, but it's really lovely.

If you enjoy watching people play TTRPGS and also enjoy Old West settings and really beautifully done character arcs, I would highly recommend it. It's about 9-10 hours of watching/listening in total. However - be warned that the ending is kind of devastating, if that's not your thing.

It is all available on the youtube! This is the link to the first episode!

Also if you watch it you are contractually obligated to come yell at me about it anon (not actually, but i would love u forever if you did)

Thanks for the ask!!

[scribe-cas]

First of all THIS IS THE CRINGEPOSTING WEBSITE. PLS IM BEGGING YOUR CHARACTERS ARE SOOO INTERESTING (no pressure but like if you ever wanna talk ocs... my dms are open...)

I'm literally kissing your tags on their little forehead rn and also outing myself as a FAKE FAN. I've only seen 1 of the saw movies and it's jigsaw.... 😔 but my passion is there...

Anyways you asked for this

WARNING: Themes of graphic violence and character torture below the cut!<3

Alright.

Are you fucking ready for this.

cracks knuckles.

Welcome to the Heaven's Wrath AU, written by myself, my friend SpicyPotato on Discord, and @sandranetta13 herself.

Every character in this series is either borrowed from them or is one of my own flesh and blood little brain goblins.

This Au stars our characters Couteau, Wally, and Mike⁴ (who will be elaborated on later. Yes they are all 4 different people.)

Mike⁴ Belongs to Sandranetta, Wally belongs to SpicyPotato, and Couteau belongs to me. These two basically heard i was making a saw AU and said "go nuts" and handed me their characters to mash together like barbies. (I fucking love you two.)

ANYWAYS, without further ado-

Let's get into it!

Basic intros:

John Kramer: cmon. You know who he is. Our lovely original Jigsaw Killer.

"Skatie" Kathrine Miller: A late 20s accountant who does competitive rollerblading in her off time. Uses this to spread the word about herself and other transgender women.

"Apple" Michael Bowsworth: Early 30s hitman for hire. Ex special-ops, became bitter after he was dismissed from duty and forced back into a mundane life. Took up murder for hire to find a way to make money while satiating what the world broke in him.

"Archie" Archibald Carmichael: Early 30s martial Arts trainer turned self-proclaimed "ghost exterminator". Religiously studies weaponscrafting. Supposedly has a ghost killing rifle. Nepo baby.

"M&M/Mikey" Michael Mikkelson: Early 40 year old ex-military. Went into retirement after losing both of his legs to the call of duty, but not before taking out enough men head on to stain any battlefield red. Known for unblinking courage, he was dubbed "The Morningstar" and honorably discharged, granted a soft life with his family when he finally cheated death and came home.

"Couteau/Citrus" Alexander Citrine: Late 20s Saw trap survivor and connoisseur with a flamboyant streak. Looks like he's barely 21 due to HRT, with the transmasculine hubris of Icarus himself, and an avid escape artist.

"Wally" William C.K. : The successor to John Kramer himself. Or, half of it, at least.

Heaven's Wrath revolves primarily around the game that contains all of these characters, and while I do have snippets of scenes written out, I feel like a bullet point of what happens might be easier to follow because this is an incomplete project and also literally just for fun

SO

Bask in my bullet pointed list. (nOT in chronological order but in like. Just. It's just a list of shit I've fleshed out basically WAHOO /POS)

There are 5 games. Like I'm just saying that rn there are. Will all five be completed? Who knows! Not me thats for sure

The game (dubbed "The War on Heaven" because it is starring all Michaels and Michael is the angel of waR-) was a winner take all game designed by John himself with a single savior and a single corruptor mind. The savior was supposed to win the game, HOWEVER, if they chose to spread 'salvation' (aka if their encouragement to deal with and repent for their actions spread to the group) then more than one person could make it out alive. However, they'd have to slaughter the deceiver that was sewing unrest amongst their trials.

However, upon discovering and putting the game into action, Wally fudged the rules a bit to make it so that whether or not the deceiver was destroyed, there was still a chance for a multi-player win.

Every person in the game has an association with the name Michael other than Couteau (Alexander) himself. This is because he was not planned to be in the War on Heaven trap. John did not send him back. Wally did.

This game is made infinitely more difficult by the fact that there are 2 trans people in it and not for the reason you think. It's because Skatie isn't associating with her deadname (Michael) which means it is even HARDER to sniff the imposter out, when originally their only challenge would've been being addressed by surnames. So yk, Wally made it easier for people to not die but also made the game harder to work through. He thinks that's fair.

This AU stemmed from a single moment when I was watching Jigsaw where a character saw a door that said "No exit" and then proceeded to try and pull on it. Yk. While dealing with rules and death traps georg. And then was surprised. When he got caught. And I thought "wow cou would be stupid enough to do that" and here we are. /lh

Everyone in the group ranges from downright rage to absolute panic to mildly inconvenienced by being put in the saw trap other than Cou who actually like. Is having fun. He's like oh my god the games and he's just freakishly knowledgeable about them.

That being said he also makes the most moronic mistakes like this man would explain the trap to everyone else and make sure they know what's going on and how to follow the rules only to get his leg caught in the floorboards and get stuck. Because he's cool like that.

Cou's hubris around the games comes from the fact that he and Wally studied alongside each other and were supposed to be together in succeeding John Kramer. The C initial in Wally's name stands for Citrine.

Okay more fun facts momentarily but it doesn't look like tumblr is going to let me post all of that in one go so ILL REBLOG AGAIN WITH MORE INFO MOMENTARILY /pos

Nobody told me how fun it was to literally take your OCs and put them into a saw AU. Standby I might do sketches for this shit

This is good... ooohohohhoo... feel free to join in if you wish (whether your ocs are on the side of the saws or the victims..)

Tell me your character's saw trap (whether made or endured) and if they'd survive it or not

[your-turn-to-role]

Don't know if this has been said before, but what if Molly's soul is still hidden away in the body, although still around about the level when he died, so it's when Lucien gets taken to 0 hit points or something he's weak enough for Molly to finish him off from the inside

(I don't say it as a "this is what I think's going to happen" sort of thing, it'd just be cool & I'm thinking out loud)

so, i’m gonna ramble a lot about this before i get to your question, because this actually gives me a really good opportunity to talk about something i’ve been wanting to for a while and haven’t made the post yet

i’ve, honestly been really confused by everyone going “oh what if molly’s soul is still in there”, as if molly and lucien are two separate souls fighting over a body, and one’s possessed the other or whatever (especially when beacon theories get involved)

but like... that’s not what happened. to explain, lucien was the original soul. weird cult shit aside, he was an otherwise normal tiefling from shadycreek, who hired vess derogna to help him cast some kind of ritual involving that book

she went along with it, but didn’t actually want lucien’s plans to succeed. she’d read the book extensively herself, she also had nine eyes across her body, but she wanted no part of whatever the somnovem is doing. so when she cast the ritual on lucien, she modified it, and instead of its intended purpose, it shattered lucien’s soul into pieces, intending to make it impossible for him to be resurrected. the tombtakers found his body, seemingly dead, buried him in the woods outside their hideout, and scattered across the continent per lucien’s emergency instructions, plan lost

until the one piece of his soul left in his body slowly managed to wake up. a full soul isn’t actually required to keep a body alive, especially if there’s other weird magic involved, and this piece is very determined. it’s missing the rest of itself, and trying to come to terms with that - doesn’t remember anything, takes months to be able to speak, other than one word, haunted by the emptiness it’s now feeling, and the only other vague memory in their head is of the dark dark magic that brought them here. eventually, like any living creature, they grow, and develop, and move on from that. they were given a new start, a new name, and a family that loved them. molly learned how to be a person, not knowing anything different, and gave himself a whole new identity, had friends, had family, that lucien didn’t. but nothing new was added to the mix other than the love he got from the circus, everything else he built himself

(i’ve had a couple people say to me “well lucien isn’t a reliable source, he could be lying or mistaken about what happened”, and just from my personal insight, i don’t think he’s lying, but even if he was wrong about molly being a piece of his soul and not a whole new soul entirely - molly doesn’t match the symptoms of being a soul given to a new body. but you know what he does match near perfectly? egtw’s description of a hollow one, a being resurrected without a soul)

(he had at least part of one, we know that, we can see it, in lucien, they’re too similar, and molly doesn’t register as undead like hollow ones do. but i’m guessing if a fractured piece of a soul found itself back in its body without the rest of it? it would sound something like this)

“Yet some beings find that, days after they died, they awaken, clutching to life, with only a terrible emptiness inside to remind them of their death.”

“The transition from life to becoming a Hollow One affects different people to different degrees. Some let their anger and regret consume them. Others use their second chance to become a brighter force in the world. However, all Hollow Ones are marked by their new existence: feelings of unease, dread or sadness cling to them like tattered rags of their past life.”

so then he dies. and the mighty nein tell cree. and she spends months looking for a way to bring lucien back. i don’t know exactly how she does it, but she does, collects all (or at least more of, he may be missing some things still) those fragments of his very shattered soul and puts them back together. lucien doesn’t remember everything that molly did, the person he grew to be, and who’s to say really which part of a soul is responsible for memories? if you were to shatter his soul again in the same way, would the part that was molly remember, or would it have to go through the same thing all over again?

but it also leads us to an interesting question of, how does a soul get made. a baby still waiting to be born doesn’t have a soul yet, we know that because of how the beacon works

is each new child not connected to the luxon given a soul by the gods? or do they grow their own, as they learn to be their own person

did molly essentially turn a soul fragment into a whole soul, just by living? and if he did... what part is in lucien now

i’m honestly inclined to believe that lucien’s soul is back together, including the molly part, because of all the ways they’re similar, i think those all came from that fragment. but there’s three options here, 1) the soul fragment that was molly is back as just another puzzle piece, he’s essentially dead, and the purpose of his story is that you don’t have to keep living to keep having an impact on the world, molly has changed things permanently despite how short he lived 2) he did grow a second soul, and that fragment they share is shared, back in lucien’s body, but either molly in the afterlife is missing a piece, or there’s more than 100% of a soul in that body, weirdly stuck together and probably not that noticeable as wrong because there’s already a thousand other voices in there 3) he did grow a second soul, and it’s gone. he left for the afterlife and that piece was unrecoverable, and now lucien’s walking around with 80% of a soul

the first is my belief, honestly, and the only way to get molly back is to shatter lucien in the same way, and hope he still has those repressed memories. the third is what would make molly resurrectable, if you were to kill lucien.

the second, however, is the only thing that really makes sense with molly being “still in there”, and if that 80% of a new soul can manage to wake up from whatever’s going on in lucien’s head, it’s possible!

it would also be pretty symbolically cool bc, while matt changed the blood hunter class a lot recently so it’s no longer a feature (give me back the cool ghostslayer, pls), back when molly was alive, the subtype he was? at high levels he’d get the ability to keep fighting in ghost form after his body fell unconscious, as long as he didn’t die. and i mean fuck if that’s not exactly what he’d be doing here

[vennysbottom]

I don’t need it

Wilhemina Venable x FemReader

Words: 2,8K

warning: eating disorders, angst i guess

A/N: I have no idea what this is but I needed to get out of my head. Please, please don’t read this if you think it could trigger you.

*Also, I read something similar on here but couldn’t find it, so if you know, pls tell me so that I could give them credit.

It wasn't enough. The truth was, it was never enough. No number ever seemed right anymore. Each morning you were afraid to weigh yourself, knowing it determined how your day was going to go. For the past few months, the only thing on your mind was weight loss and how you looked. You couldn't focus on anything else, you found it hard to be your positive self and most importantly, you were losing yourself.

You were losing yourself again.

You were not sure how many times this has already happened, but you knew what was going on. There was no reason to try to prevent it though, you felt like you needed to lose a few pounds anyway and saw no harm in doing it this way. Or more accurately, you chose not to see it.

“Y/N baby, I'm leaving” your girlfriend's voice coming from downstairs brought you back to reality. Not realising how long you've been analysing your body in the bathroom; you ran to the front door.

“Still in your pyjamas?” she said while giving you a half-smile. Wilhemina herself was looking as professional as ever, given that it was just 7 AM. She had her hair up, makeup on, and was wearing one of those purple fits that you loved on her. Each morning she amazed you by how good she looked. You leaned in to give her a goodbye-kiss which she gladly returned.

“Have a good day. Love you” you said while getting a hold of her one free hand. She gave it a light squeeze before saying “I made you coffee. I love you too.” And just like that, she was out of the door and you were alone. 

You stood at the doorway for a couple of seconds, deciding what to do today. You had a few online classes that day but they only took up half of the day, leaving the whole afternoon to yourself. 

You went into the kitchen to get your coffee, trying to be as quick as possible. You didn't like being there anymore, it made you feel anxious and guilty. Although, for the majority of your relationship with Mina it has been nothing but nice; you loved cooking dinners for her every day to make her relax and talk about what kind of day the both of you had had, you loved having slow Sunday mornings there. But none of that hasn't happened for quite a while now. Avoiding meals equalled constant lying; on the weekend you’d sleep in since your energy levels were constantly low, and most days you’d lie to get out of eating dinner. You would say that you had to study for a test, had an assignment due or simply that you had already eaten by the time Wilhemina got home.

All of these thoughts were flooding your mind from just standing in the room. You quickly grabbed the cup and left to go into your home office.

Your classes began at 8 and by the time noon arrived you were done for the day. You couldn’t focus on anything your lecturers were saying, which wasn’t uncommon, but this time it wasn’t just the fact that you were exhausted that kept you from paying attention. You kept thinking about how your relationship was slowly starting to fail. You and Mina were in love, but the truth is, your lies were undermining the trust between you two. Until your relapse, you had never lied to her and that’s why she knew that she could always count on you. But she started noticing how distant you were getting and how little time you wanted to spend with her; it hurt her, but she decided to just play along and pretend like everything was fine.

You were aware of all of this. You knew you needed to fix this but sadly enough, you didn’t know how to do that. There was no way you’d be willing to eat - the fear was too overwhelming for you. That’s why you decided to do the next best thing - a quick fix.

The first thing you came up with was a visit at work. There was a high risk of catching your girlfriend taking out her frustrations on one of her poor employees, but the only thing on your mind at that moment was making Wilhemina feel loved. You were mad at yourself for neglecting her because you knew that she deserved way better than that.

You got dressed and made your way to Kineros Robotics, stopping along the way at her favourite coffee shop. You had worked at the company a few years prior, so you knew most of the people by name and knew the place perfectly.

“Hey Jenny!” you greeted your former co-worker with a smile once you’ve made your way up to the front desk. “Y/N! What are you doing here?” she said while looking away from her computer. “Oh, I’m looking for a woman and thought she might be here. You may have seen her actually; long red hair, very kind, the same height as me… Does that ring any bells?”

“Was she wearing purple by any chance?” she asked jokingly.

“You know what? It is possible! How’d you know?” you answered and gave her a toothy smile.

“Try her office Y/N/N. But just a warning: she screamed at me today for letting in a delivery-guy, so she’s probably not in the best mood,” she said while pointing you in the direction.

You knew this was your fault; she does get snappier at work when she's worried about something. So, not only are you two miserable but others get screamed at more frequently. Maybe a quick fix wouldn’t be enough this time, but it was the best you could do for now.

You arrived at Mina’s office to find it empty so you hesitantly made your way down to the guys’ office. It didn’t take long for you to hear muffled voices, one of which belonged to the woman you were looking for, and you could tell that she was upset about something. Upon entering the room, you saw her; she had her back towards you and was supporting herself by the cane in her right hand. Just this image alone was enough to make your heart race. Jeff and Mutt were bending down to sniff what seemed like their daily dose of cocaine. There were also two girls sitting on a table near them, probably just random hookers the guys hired for the day.

“No, no, no, that’s not what I said. What I meant was, that you should watch your temper more” Mutt said loudly before turning around to start typing on his keyboard.

You saw Wilhemina tighten her grip on her cane, “Excuse me?” she said in a cold tone, clearly getting ready to argue.

Jeff stood up after attempting to clean the powder from his nose, “Come on babe. You know you could be nicer to the employees”.

“Shut up Jeff,” you said sternly, making all the heads turn in your direction. “You’re paying her to do all the work around here that you are too lazy to do yourselves, not to be nice to people.” You could see the surprise on Wilhemina's face, but it didn't take her long to regain her composure and protectively reach for your hand once you've reached her side.

Jeff smiled at you and said “Y/N! Long-time no see. Have you finally changed your mind?”

You haven’t seen the two idiots for a couple of months, almost making you forget how gross they were. You took a step forward and stated “I wouldn’t touch your slimy dick with a two-feet pole,” which made both of them laugh slightly. “I'm here to put you in your place since you obviously still need to be reminded,” you continued giving them a cocky smirk. You knew they would not budge, but it was a nostalgic way of entertainment.

“Wow, you don’t have to be so rude baby,” he said pretending to be offended, “Seems to me like Ms.Venable has a bad influence on you.”

Oh, it was on. You were ready to shoot another remark but were stopped by your girlfriend’s hand giving you a squeeze and lightly pulling you back.

“I would choose my next words carefully if I were you; you’re on very thin ice,” Mina said while staring at Jeff. She would normally avoid confrontation with them but her possessive side got the best of her in that moment. Softening her expression, she turned to face you, “Would you wait for me in my office? I need to sort some things out.”

You nodded and turned on your heel to leave. Hearing Jeff shout at you “The offer still stands!” made you turn once more and say truthfully “Hope your brain turns into mush soon, asshole.”

Once you were out of the door and far enough that nobody thought you could hear them anymore Mutt started the conversation, “Damn Ms.Venable, are you even feeding her?” which made a look of confusion appear on Wilhemina's face. “Now, what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with a hint of offence, trying to find an answer in the face of one of them. Since Jeff was the one who knew you the longest, he decided to explain, “Oh don’t tell me you haven’t noticed anything,” still seeing the puzzled look on his secretary’s face, he went on, “For fuck’s sake, don’t you live together? You must have noticed the weight loss, plus Y/N is never very subtle about this.”

That’s when it clicked and Wilhemina finally understood what Jeff was implying, “She's never subtle? This has happened before?”

She waited impatiently for an answer, hoping that all of this was just a sick joke; the other two exchanged a look of mutual understanding and Mutt finally said: “You should talk to her.”

You paced around the office trying to figure out what to do and how to fix this situation. You knew that Mina was hurt and probably even disappointed; you knew her instinct would be to build her walls up again and you were terrified she wouldn’t let you fully in again. Once you heard the sounds of her cane getting closer, you knew there was no preparing for this.

She entered the room with a somewhat disapproving expression on her face, which she successfully hid when you shot her a warm smile, waiting for her to sit in the chair while you leant on her table. Sitting down, she looked at the cup you were nervously playing with and narrowed her eyes at you. “I thought you might need cheering up today, so I got you your favourite,” you said while placing the coffee on her desk. And you could swear, at that exact moment, you saw love light up her eyes, and the slight smile she offered you gave you butterflies, just like the first time you saw her smile like that. The silence between you that followed made you play with your fingers anxiously but after a while, it was broken by Wilhemina's soft voice, “Well thank you. I appreciate it.”

“But that's not the only reason I stopped by. I've finished all my work for the week…” you traced off preparing yourself to say the latter part, which you'd much rather avoid, “So I thought that I could cook dinner for us tonight because I haven’t done that for a while now. And I wanted to ask you if there was anything you’d like.” At that point your heart was beating so fast you were sure she could hear it.

She could see how uncomfortable you were but wasn’t able to pinpoint the reason for your behaviour; she didn’t know whether it was due to your relationship hitting a rough patch or because Jeff and Mutt might have been right. Either way, she knew she’d find out tonight; playing it cool she kissed you on the cheek and told you that it was completely up to you.

Cooking the food was fine, calming even, but once it was done you realised that you actually had to eat it which caused you to panic. You tried to calm down but your eating disorder made that almost impossible. You sat at the table for what seemed like hours trying to come up with an excuse, eventually deciding to just drink wine and lie if you were to be questioned.

You were disturbed from your state by the door opening and your girlfriend coming into view. She locked eyes with you instantly. You could tell that she was exhausted, that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary after all, but there was more tonight. Wilhemina hasn’t been able to concentrate on anything else than you for the rest of the afternoon. She analysed the situation, her potential steps and their outcomes for the whole ride home. What scared her the most was the fact that in both scenarios, she was running a risk of losing you.  

You were both tense, expecting the other one to start a fight and unable to relax, so you only made small talk. You sat at the table with your glass of wine, playing with the food on your plate while watching Mina observe you closely. Then the tension got too much and she barked out, “Aren't you going to eat?” in a tone so cold, it reminded you of the times you worked for her. She held eye contact with you, almost daring you to lie to her. Almost daring you to start a fight that would break her heart. You quickly answered, saying that you ate right before she came so you were pretty full. Keeping your eyes on her face, you saw her expression change - she went from being irritated to being seemingly sad in a matter of seconds.

“Do you still love me?”

Once the question left her lips, there was no taking it back and it physically hurt you that she had to ask. It hurt to know that Wilhemina felt so abandoned by you, she actually thought you were going to leave her; and judging by the look in her eyes, she was ready for you to say “no”. Wasting no time, you answered, “Of course. Of course, I still love you, Mina.” hoping to sound genuine enough for her to believe you. You watched her closely, waiting for her reaction, but to your surprise, her feelings were shoved back down just as quickly as they surfaced.

She straightened her posture before stating, “Well, in that case, we need to talk.” You felt yourself freeze, knowing exactly what was about to go down.

“Have you been eating?” she asked, not letting you drift your eyes away from hers. You knew she’d catch on eventually and call you out, but you had hoped you had a little more time. With a confused expression on your face, you said, “What do you mean?”.

Wrong answer. Wilhemina was tired of your bullshit and you trying to hide it from her. Her face seemingly hardened as she explained, “I haven’t seen you have a meal in weeks. You’re always making excuses, saying you’re too busy to sit down with me. The two idiots even implied this isn’t the first time this has happened.”

You knew there was no point in pretending anymore, so not caring about the consequences anymore, you snapped, “Oh, so it took Jeff and Mutt telling you everything for you to notice? Good to know.” You got up to leave but the sudden sound of Mina’s cane hitting the floor made you stop in your tracks. “Sit your ass down,” she ordered through gritted teeth. Seeing how mad she was getting and how her knuckles whitened, you thought it was better to obey. Although Wilhemina liked establishing dominance, she very rarely raised her voice at you. But this was different, she was pissed that you refused to take care of yourself and she knew she had to be strict.

“Y/N, eat. Now,” she demanded in a stern tone. You were sitting down, fork in one hand and anxiously pulling the skin on your leg with the other. After a few minutes of silence, she reached for your hand under the table and with a pleading look in her eyes, she said softly, “Baby… please, try. For me.”

You couldn’t stand seeing her like this, so you hesitantly started to eat. You hated it, and the feeling of food in your stomach made you sick. Wilhemina rubbed slow circles on your hand in an attempt to calm you down. Despite her effort, tears started to fall down your cheeks about halfway through the meal, but you still managed to finish everything.

Seeing the plate finally empty caused you to sob uncontrollably. Mina approached you quickly and put her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. In between sobs, you whispered, “I hate you so much right now.” In response, she said, “Shhh, I know. I know,” while stroking your hair.

“You did good, little one.”

[atzsslut]

Bask In Your Scent | fluff

Florence, 2020 with Jung Yuno 

fluff : (as a writer, fuck the pandemic i am not writing abt smiling thru a mask so this is no pandemic 2020!), PLS Y/N AND YUNO ARE PAINFULLY CLUELESS HERE, english-speaking, reader owns a candle shop / jaehyun (yuno) owns a flower shop, florence is slightly romanticized (but it is very beautiful), slow burn, mutual pining, etc. ♡ 5.43k words

Florence. The roofs were all tiled with brown ceramic, the rays of sun reflecting entirely over the mountain to the buildings so close by. In the morning, it was incredibly serene. The cobblestone streets sounded with taps from your feet walking over from your shop to the one beside you—something you did every time the clock hit 8:00 AM. Or something he did every 8:00 AM. Sometimes you two met in the middle. 

Let alone in November, the sun still came up over the cold weather, perfectly blanketing the city with a slight warmth despite the temperature being below freezing. Romantic, and yet no ounce of love was ever proclaimed between the two of you. Not that it was faraway. 

Looking up to the sky, past the beautiful architecture that vastly lingered in every inch of the city, you admired the moving clouds. It reminded you of his favorite colour; white. You watched him through the glass doors of his shop, which was a similar size to yours. Breathing out, you pushed the door open with one hand. 

"Benvenuti!" was what you heard the second you came into the shop, the usual 'welcome' that the boy yelled whenever he listened to the bell on the glass door ring. 

"Yuno," you chuckled, "It's just me." 

"Oh? You're later than usual," he interjected, knowing that you usually came at 8:00 O'Clock on the dot (and it was 8:45), "Good morning." 

He wasn't looking to the door, as he was prepping a pot behind the counter, back facing the storefront. Typically, when you did come into the shop, Yuno was looking ahead and greeted you with a smile. His hair was a mess this time, and his apron, much more than usual, was dirtied with soil and water. 

You were busy packing up the big order you had gotten to make hundreds of taper candles, hence your tardiness. Going to visit each other in the morning was something like brushing your teeth, normalized and constant; you both couldn't go without it.

"Are you busy? I can come back later," you suggested, holding the door, prepared to go out if you were a burden to him, "Because..."

He could tell that you were implying to his unkempt appearance. Yuno had gotten a last-minute order a week ago to prepare over a hundred small bouquets for a wedding ceremony. Since he owned the flower shop alone, he had stayed up to finish everything before the time due. Luckily for Yuno, you had come when he was doing the last one. 

"No, no," he quickly denied, "Please, come in." 

Shifting your feet, you closed the door and took gradual steps up to the counter where Yuno was, the shop relatively spacious as it was distributed with bloomed flowers and packaged seeds. Compared to your shop, Yuno's was just a tad brighter and looked the most beautiful during the day. As for you, yours looked mesmerizing when dawn came, the candles you made lighting the store. 

Yuno had always relished your presence, even if it meant that he'd lose a few minutes from his morning to plant in the garden out back or prep flowers. Unbeknownst to one another, the redamancy you both had for each other was visible through the small acts done on a day-by-day basis. 

Often enough, Yuno had provided you with flowers that were left over so you could make scented extracts and decoration for your candles. You were eternally grateful to him, as your candles wouldn't look as pretty as they did without his offerings. As for you to Yuno, you were the reason he never had a single plant put to waste, and you knew all of the best patisseries around. More than enough times, you'd brought him a different kind of pastry in the morning to wake him up. 

Was it gratitude, or was it merely because two shop owners were all too scared to face their feelings? 

"So, what do you have to do today?" you asked, pacing around the counter, never not in awe by how messily the flowers were organized, yet how lovely it was. Much to say the least, it was very Yuno-esque. Disordered yet still admirable. 

"I have to drive these to the wedding in Villa Cora. You?" 

"Wait, actually? You're going to Villa Cora?" 

Yuno furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing that you had any business there as well. It seemed that the daily conversations you two had passed the topic of going to the same destination, both for different reasons, yet on the same day. 

"Yeah, a hundred bouquets I told you about, those are for a wedding there."

"They hired me to make candles for their decor. I need to send it to them today by 10:00 AM. What time do you need to go?"

"When you came in, I was finishing up the last bouquet. And I've gotta be there pretty soon, by 9:30." Yuno said, hiding the fact of him having to be there the same time as you was bringing him some joy, "Would.. you like me to drive you there?"

"You want to go together?" it felt like rhetoric more than anything since you were well aware that the answer was 'yes.' 

"Yes." Yuno was always poised about asking you things that seemed romantic or doing acts of service that could possibly be his love language, but you two had been each other's 'comfort people' for so long that it was impossible to tell. 

"Besides, a little bit of company in the front seat never hurt anybody." Mostly if it was you, Yuno thought. 

There was this charm about Yuno that always managed to fill the whole room. Despite his face, which was too handsome for you not to be caught staring, Yuno had a personality that matched yours like a puzzle. No, he wasn't perfect, and nor were you, but it was accepting that everything about him couldn't always be as poise as his appearance was how you fell for him. And him to you. 

There were one too many favors that you both have done for one another that seemed to parallel. You both would come running to each other's shops if Yuno were to prick his finger with a thorn, or if you were to burn yours from hot wax. You both would be each other's noses when the other was having the flu to check if the flowers were right or if the extract in the candle wasn't pungent enough. 

It seemed that your game of Tom & Jerry to gain each other's love continued to go on, albeit you two were already in love. Only painfully unaware of each other's doting. 

"I just need to go upstairs first and change," Yuno said as he struggled to take his apron off. For the past three days, he barely took it off, and it seemed the knot tightened. 

"Yu-" you bit your lip to hide your unmistakable laugh, "Yuno, come around here. I'll help you."

Hesitant, his footsteps were heavy on the ground, eyes refusing to look at yours as he walked to where you were. Since he was taller than you, whether it was by a lot or not, your hands went above eye-level to untie the knot. 

He smelt of pure earth mixed with the slight fragrance of white roses and baby's breath flowers, but it was the pollen stuck in his hair that made your lips go from ear to ear. Adorable, you thought, seeing the little dots of yellow litter his dark hair. 

Managing to untie the knot from both the neck and the waist tie, you tapped his shoulders to signal that you were done. Spinning his body 180 degrees, his eyes met with yours, and your breath hitched. Your eyes blinked profusely, shocked at the sudden gaze. 

But it seemed impulsive when Yuno breathed in, taking in a scent that he never usually associated with you. Whenever you came into the shop, he never failed to pick up the signature scent that lingered whenever you were around; eucalyptus and chamomile. Yet somehow, this time around, you seemed to smell like nutmeg and neroli, maybe cinnamon too. 

"Did..." he was reluctant to ask, in the fear he'd seem peculiar, "Did you get a new perfume?" 

You were surprised by his question, shellshocked that he even noticed how the new concoctions you were making for your ordered candles completely overpowered your routine perfume. You tried to hold back the urge to grin, your teeth showing as you failed to do so. 

"For the Villa Cora order," you welled up to him, "I guess what they asked for was rather strong. I'm... surprised you even noticed." 

"It's like when you're used to seeing something every day. When it's not there and out of your site, you question its absence. It was odd for me to not get a routinely whiff of your usual perfume, Y/N." he admitted, only making you feel more lauded than before. 

"Oh." was all you could spit out before Yuno awkwardly cleared his throat and wiped his hands on his apron. 

He gestured towards the door behind the cashier, where the stairs that led up to his room were. The same structure adorned your shop, where the door behind the counter would lead to your home. Small, but nowhere near worn. 

At this point, Yuno wasn't necessarily sure if his house was simply everything he asked for, or he was able to make it through with you around. 

Not wanting to make you wait any longer, he ran up the stairs to rush to his room (to which you had heard every rushed stride, not that he knew). Indeed, you thought, a gentleman.  Sometimes, Yuno gave you your daily dose of comedic relief, his actions bringing a laugh out of you until your stomach hurt. You wondered, does he feel the same? 

Does she feel the same? He wondered the equivalent, this time as he was picking out which sweater to use this cold November. Since the one he was wearing previously was dirtied, despite his apron. 

Yuno always wondered if it were a fate that brought you two together in Florence. He remembered the first day that he had gotten there two and a half years ago, the shop that remained vacant up until his moving boxes filled the room. The cost of living wasn't as expensive as he predicted, but he needed many things to change. 

Unlike Connecticut and Seoul, Florence was just about perfect for allowing flowers to continually bloom. If it was too sunny, the architecture had a form of protection. Even if the weather changed, another plant species would simply replace another, filling Yuno's shop with a new flower. 

As for you, you got there a week before Yuno did, your shop already entirely set from the way the candles were displayed at the storefront. Intrigued, he stepped into the shop to find you behind the cashier, only for you to be his only fluent friend in English. He had asked you why you kept all the candles in black glass, leading to a conversation that went on for three hours about flowers and candles. 

To say the least, there was much more in common than what met the eye. 

Since then, you two have always just been intertwined. Whether it was an invisible red string of fate, the reality was that destiny might be real for the two of you. If and when the love is proclaimed, that is. 

Throwing his apron towards his bed, which then became dirty (assuming it wasn't already), he picked out a sweater in peach. Putting it on over his head, Yuno walked over to his bathroom and kicked the door open with his foot. Looking in the mirror, he took his chain out of the under of his sweater to make it visible, pushing his bangs back to fix his hair. 

He looked at the time, seeing that it was precisely 9:00 AM already. A string of curses followed along his lips as he ran to his closet once again, grabbing his coat. Rushing downstairs, the same way he did before going upstairs, he was now met with you in a coat and a few other boxes. 

He guessed that through the time he was upstairs, you'd grabbed your packages next door to not waste any more time. It was a good thing that he had loaded all except one of his boxes the night before, as he finished the last bouquet this morning. 

"Ready to go, Jung?" you teased, using his last name to provoke him. 

Yuno took his car keys from the drawer with a nod, clicking the button that turned on the truck outside. Packing in his last bouquet, you went ahead to the vehicle as you opened the door with your back while carrying one of the boxes you had. Setting it down on the street for a short second, you opened the trunk and placed the first one inside.

You weren't surprised by the numerous crates that were already inside the truck, knowing that Yuno didn't often get big orders, but when he did, it was the ones that caused the skin around his eyes to whither. The same went for you, most of the time having customers loyal to your shop rather than commercial purchases. 

You still had about four boxes left to stuff into the trunk, absolutely exhausted from the constant melting and molding you had to do for taper candles. Much to your surprise, Yuno was carrying his own crate while carrying two of your boxes. 

Racing over to him, you scolded him for doing that, knowing that a large number of candles carried substantial weight. He argued that he could do it, but you rebutted back, saying that it didn't matter. As you quickly finished packing up the things, shutting the back with a loud noise, you both got into the front seats by 9:05, driving away as the engine turned on. 

"Did you stay up all night last night?" you broke the silence, fiddling with your bag that was on your lap.

"Yeah," his eyes didn't leave the road as he spoke, determined to drive exceptionally well in your presence, "Didn't you too?" 

"Only to fill in the last batch into the molds. Meanwhile, you had to assemble all those flowers into those glass pots. Please tell me that you didn't break any."

"How... how did..." he remembered that you were his next-door neighbour in a way, and you had a knack of staying up late too. More or less, the chances of you hearing him accidentally break glass was heard. 

"Yeah. How many did you break?" there was a slight pause, making you sigh out, "Be honest."

"Two..." he admitted, his gaze sticking to the road, not even sparing a glance at you out of embarrassment. You knew him so well. 

There was a brief stillness before you began to laugh, trying not to as you clasped your hands on your mouth, mumbling out apologies in between each sound from amusement. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is my suffering funny to you?"

"Yeah!" you said in between gasps of air.

"Y/N, don't make me talk about the time you were too impatient for the purple-coloured lavender wax to cool, and you ended up overheating the glass, and it broke." 

"Hey!" you resisted, "At least it was ONE glass. It wasn't TWO like you did." 

"Okay, but it takes a lot to break the thick glass you use for candles. Please Y/N, there is no argument here." Yuno glimpsed at the GPS, "Oh, we're almost there." 

"What are you on about?" you giggled, "There is so much room for argument here, especially if we're talking about mishaps. I may be caught off guard sometimes, but no one can match how clumsy you are, Yuno."

"Well," he spoke as he took the turn up the hill to Villa Cora, "I cannot count the number of times I've seen you through my window, tripping on the cobblestone." 

Although you were embarrassed, it was humorous that maybe you were more clumsy than you anticipated. Knowing well that Yuno was somebody who didn't only see the good sides of you, and yet he didn't judge you for them, it never failed to astonish you. After knowing him for quite a while, you knew that although Yuno was patient, he also had a side where frustration could take him over. 

You've seen him angry, comforted him through sadness, and you've never thought of him as a bad person- not even once. You remembered when he snubbed you for the first time, finding out that you had gone on a date with the waiter who worked in a restaurant nearby. No, he wasn't mean or harsh, but the cold impression he left on you for a few days made you question his motives. 

But you let it pass since you only said yes to the waiter because you wanted to stop thinking about Yuno. You always thought (and so did he), why risk ruining a dynamic that was already well set in stone? 

"Are you going from the back too? I think that's where they collect mass orders," you asked, not knowing if Yuno would be going from the back towards the wedding's area.

"I'm going from the east entrance, straight to the venue." he answered, going straight to where you needed to be, "But, I'm pretty sure you'll need some help with those boxes, and I'll need help with the bouquets. We'll drop off yours first, then go to mine." 

"Ooh! Smart, smart." you acknowledged, liking the fact you wouldn't be separated from Yuno at Villa Cora. 

"As if I have ever been stupid." Yuno bickered. 

"Mhm." you sarcastically agreed, unbuckling the seatbelt at the same time as him to get out of the truck. 

Heading to the trunk, Yuno opened it and helped you take your things into the villa. After chattering about with the stock manager, who checked the boxes and assured everything was safe, you two were then given clear instructions on how to get to the wedding venue. 

In the short drive there, you told Yuno how satisfied you felt to drop off the hundreds of taper candles you had made in a short period, not being able to count the number of times you had to put a pain relief patch on your neck from crouching too much. 

"Yuno, it's fine," you said sternly, assuring that hard work came with a bit of pain, "I'm used to it, you know that-"

"Woah." you both said in unison, looking at how the venue looked from the outside. It seemed that Yuno's bouquets were the finishing touches, as everything was mostly set already. Like the colour of the flowers he had chosen, the decorations were white and gold, with a few turquoise touches. 

Elegant and enchanting was how you could explain it. 

You've always had a complicated relationship with weddings. You didn't know if you loved or hated them. You questioned the concept of loving somebody so much that the law had to be involved. Why couldn't the universe just let love be love and not need a marriage's social construct? Or registering your names into city hall to proclaim the marriage? 

But at the same time, with the weddings you had gone to (which was your aunt's third wedding, your older brother's, and your eldest cousin), you were not in awe by the beauty of them. 

 And you've always had dreams of saying those "I do's" or vows with tears streaming down your face, your face not beaming from them but from your eternal happiness to be bound to the person who's it. 

But as you were lost thought about weddings, it seemed that your body had acted on its own when you realized that Yuno had settled all the crates. You two were already in the venue, Yuno greeting the bride who apparently was friends with one of his friends. 

"I really didn't know that!" Yuno exclaimed, "Oh, excuse me. This is my... friend, Y/N. She works at a candle shop beside me and just dropped off an order for the villa."

You always liked it when Yuno spoke Italian. Anyone in the world could say Spanish or French were the two most romantic languages, but you would oppose. When Yuno began to speak in the language you had to learn before coming to Florence, you began to feel lightheaded hearing how he sounded. 

All too attractive for you to take in. 

"Y/N! It's nice to meet you, I'm Sofia. I'm the bride for today's wedding!" 

"It's very nice to meet you too. Everything is so beautiful," you then faced Sofia after looking around and shaking her hand, "You look wonderful."

"Thank you. Yuno tells me that you make candles. When my house is settled, and I come back from my honeymoon, I will definitely call you." 

"Of course, I'd love to satisfy a new customer." you then looked at Yuno, who was standing by your left side, "Should we take care of the glass bouquets now?"

"Oh, of course, of course." he said, "Sofia, we'll set them up then leave right after. You said that the guests are coming soon?"

"What? You two don't have to leave so fast!" she exclaimed, "Some of my family members from another town suddenly can't come. I have a table that you two can settle in. Please, I insist."

You took a glance at yourself by facing down to your clothes, questioning if they were appropriate. Sofia argued that they were and said that it didn't matter. Although the wedding was set very extravagantly, she explained that her family came from "humble beginnings" and that they wouldn't care. 

As time went on, you two were almost done setting all of the small glass pots, one on the center of each table. They were simple, but it made you happy to see a bit of Yuno in a grand place you couldn't believe was real. Associating white with the colour of Heaven was right when it could be used to define Yuno. 

After all, he was your paradise. 

"You did a great job, Yuno," you admitted, walking beside him to the table that Sofia had said was for you two, "Everything goes so well together, and you worked so hard."

"Thank you." the porcelain skin of his face, reddened, "And thank you to you for accompanying me."

"You should never say thank you when I'm around. The things I do aren't for 'thank you's. I do them because I want to." you shrugged, "Besides, spending time with you like this is nice."

"You don't get too tired of seeing me everyday?"

"No, of course not. I'm surprised you're not tired of seeing ME-"

"I would never be," he answered too quickly. He knew because he noticed, and by the way you looked at him with widened eyes told him so. Clearing his throat, hand scratching the back of his neck, Yuno then looked at you. 

"I.. uh.." you paced awkwardly. You then saw people begin to fill the room, giving you an excuse, "I need to go to the bathroom and freshen up. I'll be right back. Okay?" 

"Okay," he answered, his eyes not leaving you until you were out of his sight, "Fuck."

He muttered to himself swears, confused on why he had to be painfully apparent on today of all days. He was relieved to some extent that you weren't nonchalant and cold, but he also questioned certain things you said that could stay on his mind for hours. 

Him not having to give thanks to you, you admitting you loved the time you spent with him, all those things lead to his question now; Are we just friends, or have we ever been since the first time we met? 

Friends don't love him like you do. 

Friends don't treat him like you do. 

Friends, it was something you both didn't want to be. And it was clear. Yuno, not defeated but wearied from all the uncertainty, sighing in the wooden chair provided at the venue. You, washing your face with cold water in the villa bathroom, taking a breath in to realize that he had hesitated when he introduced you as just his 'friend.' 

The night went on, admiring Yuno's bouquets displayed at the center of the round tables throughout the tall-ceiling room. You gave yourself some time when people started to come in to clean yourself up, not that you weren't well put already, but you were the only lady in casual wear. You felt a little bit shy, seeing the little kids who were in fancy, glittering dresses that made your nicely knit creme sweater to look shabby. 

When you got back to Yuno, he was sat at the table alone, admiring the decorations on the walls. You couldn't help but let the fondness you had for him take over your expression. Although he was a simple man, he loved paying attention to the details that surrounded him. Even if that meant using a different sized chain for different types of clothing, his consideration of those kinds of things made him better. 

Before he noticed you were there, you took the time to look around, which then automatically made you look forward towards the dance floor. Nearly all of the seats were empty, and crowds, as the bride and groom were dancing the center, had filled the space with excitement. 

Your eyes drifted back then to Yuno, who had now noticed that you were back from the bathroom. He had his elbow on the seat, looking back at you with his signature smile. You didn't know what it was, maybe it was the flare from all the lights or the pollen that was previously stuck in his hair, but it seemed that golden specks were beginning to circle around him. 

Your chest tightened as you silently came up to him, not knowing exactly what you were doing. Your body was impulsively moving on its own when you opened your palm to him and asked, 

"Would you care for a dance?" 

Your tone came off more as a joke, but you meant it all the same. It shouldn't be weird, right? You thought, this is what friends do. He stood up, taking your hand in his, immediately moving with a groove to the upbeat song. No, this doesn't seem weird at all, you thought again, as he waved your arms around with his. 

Goofing around as if no one was looking, not that they were, this was the most fun you had had in weeks. Not that the mornings you spent with Yuno weren't lovely enough, or the time you met up with your friends wasn't great, but it seemed that both you and Yuno never got to spend a moment like this. 

But as you two had your fun, every moment you two spent with each other got more and more agonizing. The uncertainty of seemingly never knowing that you two were absolutely in love with each other was consuming.

But tonight was different. 

Tonight, when the MC announced the next song to be slow, both you and Yuno were breathless as you both had sat down for a break. In unison, you both looked towards the speakers when it began to play James Blake's rendition of 'The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face.' 

"I love this song," you whispered. It reminded you of when you first met Yuno, coming into your shop with surface knowledge about Florence. 

"Me too," he said back, your gaze meeting his. 

Standing up once again, this time offering your hand in a more careful manner than before. For a bit of time, just for a bit, Yuno stared at your hand in doubt.

He didn't doubt that he wanted to dance with you because, God, you were the only person he'd like to dance to this song with. But wanted to know if this was real. 

With your hand in his, as he took it, it seemed a bit odd at first. It was different from all the times you had touched his hand to bandage a small wound from a few rose thorns, and it was different from when you invited him to dance before. Unlike then, it felt more still. More intimate. 

You only then noticed that it was just the two of you, not on the dance floor, near the end of the tables. Even the children were dancing with their parents, staying put to space. As it was a wedding, the focus was on the bride and groom. Barely any light emitted on you two, only the orange-toned lamps screwed into the wall structures being the only source of light. 

Dark, yet it felt like home. Filled with warmth and reassurance. 

Yuno spun your body with his hand, giggling when you dizzily caught yourself on his chest. Your right hand feeling the material of his sweater, the other hand interlaced with his. It seemed that the fun had faded, but not happiness. Nothing was heard from either of you except for the faltering breaths that both you and him let out. 

As you tried to somewhat space yourself away from his chest, Yuno let go of your left hand and instead snaked his arm around your waist. Although much doubt came into his head if it was appropriate to do, he could tell that you weren't pulling away any time soon. 

Maybe, if he was right, that meant something. 

Unlike before, you had given up on separating yourself from him, laying your head against his chest. Now that your left hand had been let go off, it trembled as you brought it to his shoulder. 

A surge suddenly ran through the both of you when the tips of your fingers accidentally brushed against the bare skin of his neck. It wasn't much, but you tried to blame it on his warm skin and your cold fingers. Knowing that wasn't true, you let out a shaky breath from your nostrils. 

You felt like you wanted to cry when Yuno placed his chin on the top of your head, cupping your right hand in his. Once again, the same feeling came about when your skin touched his. 

Something as simple as skin touching skin managed to make your heart palpitate, thankful he couldn't hear it. But as he couldn't listen to yours, you could listen to his. With your head against his chest, facing your intertwined hand in his, you counted the beats.

One-two ... one-two ... one-two ...

One-two .. one-two .. one-two.

It sped up, you thought. It made you wonder if you were making Yuno nervous; if you've ever made him nervous like this before. Maybe there was a reason you two never spent any nights together, often seeing each other in daylight that this was new. 

New yet inviting. 

"Do you hate it?" Yuno suddenly asked, feeling the vibrations against the shell of your ear when he spoke from his chest. 

"Hate what?" you asked, not knowing what he was implying.

"This." he said, "Us."

You pulled away from him. He looked down at you, his eyes filled with questions, hope, anything, and everything, including love. Again, the same feeling of wanting to cry washed over you. You weren't disgusted, miserable, or disappointed. In the rare case that you were feeling one too many things, it seemed that you wanted to shed tears of joy. 

This was it. You thought, He's it. 

Is this it? He asked himself, Will she finally understand? 

Your nose twitched, holding back with whatever strength you had left. For a split second, you averted your eyes to the crowd, then back to Yuno. The people’s appreances, the bride’s primarily, the venue, the flowers he had used, and they were all beautiful. 

But at this moment, the two of you were the defining image of passion at a wedding that wasn't even yours. 

Using a tone a tad higher than your usual voice, due to your attempt to not cry, you gave him the answer he had been waiting for two years. Well, not only him, but it was for both of you. For the sake that God, or whoever, whatever controlled the universe would finally let out a sigh of satisfaction when you answered, 

"I could get used to this."