#pls ignore typos ^^;

[lostsowly]

Hiii ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ

I know you love rare pairings, so I have a question for you 🫵🏻

What are your favorite rare ships from Blue Lock??

Have a nice day! ♡

So glad you asked (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

I love talking about my rarepairs ^^

Also a disclaimer: I'm not very active in Blue Lock fandom so I'm not sure if all of the ships I mention are actually rarepairs or not, so kindly excuse me if I say a pair that's not really that rare xD Also this is not an exhaustive list and is subject to change in the future. I’m only including those ships that I think are rarepairs, so it doesn’t include all of my ships. Alright so buckle up!!

Hmm so I think the first ship that came to my mind was actually Chigiri x Bachira, they just seem kinda chaotic together but would also love spoiling each other. Just my personal hc that Chigiri has a soft spot for Bachira :D

Speaking of Chigiri, I also like Chigiri x Yukimiya. The Actor AU and/or Model AU potential they have is insane XD

I lowkey ship Chigiri with almost everyone tbh because he’s my favorite. So I almost like all rarepairs of him. Same is the case with Isagi actually. I’m all for Isagi ships. (Except probably Isagi x Ness? Mostly because I don’t really ship Ness with anyone. I want him to be more loving to himself.) 

Just the other day I saw someone refer to Chigiri, Bachira and Isagi as the chichichi trio and you know what they’re now my platonic OT3. Platonic OT4 if we include Kunigami as well. 

I also love Bachira x Nagi they’d be adorable together XD Maybe even Rin x Bachira or Rin x Nagi LMAO

I might get flamed for this but Kaiser x Aiku and Kaiser x Kira. I haven’t really explored their dynamics much but it would pass as a crack ship I suppose. 

I feel like this is getting too long so I’ll skip my explanations and drop the ships. Feel free to ask my thoughts if a ship intrigues you ^^

I also have Hiori x Kurona x Nanase and Chigiri x Reo x Nagi as my OT3 they’d seem cute in my head ^^

There’s also: Karasu x Barou, Aryu x Kiyora, Everyone x Therapy, Chigiri x Reo, Barou x Tokimitsu, Niko x Karasu.

Honorable mentions: Ships I got converted to thanks to Blue Lock PWC (Blue Lock game)

Kunigami x Reo

Reo x Raichi

Gagamaru x Raichi

Bachira x Pablo (platonic)

Chigiri x Barou

Chigiri x Otoya

Barou x Kunigami

I think that’s about it? Unless I missed something then sorry about that XD Thank you for giving me a chance to go off about my rarepairs!! I hope I didn’t overwhelm you hehe ^^

I hope you have a great day!! <33

[enderpawu]

walking through the city and dying inside ! (hes so real for that)

this time wanted to make more of a comic cus i am silly like that :3 also for anyone who doesnt know, this is for my hc au! its called "time magic" and if u like this then consider checking out my page, still a work in progress but arent we all.

[rwrbgifs]

Red White and Royal Blue movie + book moments

[starrystevie]

18+ | cw: improper use of plumping lipgloss, mentions of alcohol, oral sex, it's steddie endgame i promise | crossposted on twitter

it’s no secret, steve likes making out. likes isn’t a strong enough word. he loves making out. loves grabbing hold of someone and pulling them close, loves laying over them on a couch, on a bed, hips just barely moving as he takes them apart with lips and teeth and tongue.

that doesn’t change once he’s had a few drinks either, body tingling with tequila or vodka or something equally strong that has his inhibitions thrown to the wind. he’s always able to find someone willing to dance with him, hips pressed together and arms wrapped around shoulders.

it’s usually girls, pretty things with pretty hair that draw steve in like a punch drunk happy moth to an overzealous flame. they’ll turn their heads with a flirty shy smile and follow him out to the dance floor before pressing up tight against his front.

they’ll curl their fingers into his where they rest low on their hips and keep him close. they’ll drop their heads onto his shoulder and let their breath ghost over the side of his face until he gets the all too obvious hint.

steve likes making out on a dance floor. no, not likes.

loves.

that is until his lips are covered in sticky, sweet lip gloss and he’s pulling away because his tongue is on fire, tingling from something other than alcohol and the thrill of being in a pretty girl’s mouth.

“what is that?” he yells into her ear over the bumping bass.

“sorry,” the girl says sheepishly, “it’s my lipgloss. it plumps my lips.”

she goes back in to kiss steve once more and he isn’t exactly going to deny her. her lips are pretty just like her, plump and shiny and all too inviting, so he kisses her back. the gloss is spicy on the cracks of his lips, on the tip of his tongue when he he pulls her lip in between his teeth. it’s addictive in a way. he wonders if his own lips will plump up from the contact alone.

later, when they say their drawn out goodbyes outside of the club, he’ll ask to borrow the lip gloss since his night isn’t over yet. she’ll pull it out with a grin and apply it so sweetly to her own lips and then to his. her touch is gentle and precise before she puts the tube back in her purse and then connects their lips for a final time.

steve likes to make out. no, not likes.

loves.

so he goes to a bar around the corner, robin hot on his coat tails with some blonde she picked up attached to her side, and he’ll order a vodka soda that he can sip through a straw so he doesn’t destroy his pretty glossed lips. the bar is grungy, but steve almost prefers that, able to blend into smoky shadows and dark corners while he watches the crowd.

while he watches someone in the crowd watch him back.

he has wild curly hair and handcuffs on his belt and steve swears he’s staring at his lips and the way the light is bouncing off of the gloss, but he isn’t too sure. not until there’s wild curly hair and handcuffs on a belt standing right in front of him.

steve has a different confidence with guys. maybe it’s because he has to read them a little differently. maybe its because he gets read by them a little differently, too. but flirting is flirting all the same and steve finds himself biting at his lip and licking away some of the spicy lip gloss with a wince as it burns the inside of his mouth.

curly hair handcuff guy is cuter once they start talking for a while, all animated and vibrant, a bright shiny beacon in a dingy bar. he finds out his name is eddie with a lingering handshake that means something, fingers trailing and tingling like they had a spice to them, too.

they don’t dance, but they do end up out back, sharing a cigarette as drunk people stumble around them. it’s easy enough for eddie to light, flame from the lighter sparking in his big, brown eyes.

“so steve,” he says, flicker of some other kind of spark in his eye, “where to?”

and steve knows how to do this part. he grabs the cigarette out of eddie’s mouth and puffs on it himself, blowing the smoke over his head. “is it too forward to say i don’t think i can last much longer without getting my mouth on you?”

eddie grins and lets his eyes flit down. “no. is it too forward for me to say that i’d let you do anything to me, mouth or otherwise?”

he takes the cigarette back and steve can see his trace left behind on the filter, can see when the hint of gloss hits eddie’s lips if the wrinkle of his eyebrows is anything to go off of.

he doesn’t say anything, just winks over at steve. he doesn’t say anything, just drags him into a taxi. he doesn’t say anything, just wraps a hand high over steve’s thigh, just pushes steve up against his apartment wall, just fumbles over handcuffs and pushes down his jeans.

steve likes making out. no, not likes.

loves.

if he loves making out, then he really fucking craves giving head. he feels like a cartoon animal with hearts popping out of his head as he pulls eddie’s cock out of his briefs. he licks his lips like he’s starving and regrets it when the gloss singes his tongue.

steve looks up from his knees and swipes a finger over his lips, holding it up high for eddie to see. “taste it,” he whispers.

eddie’s eyes widen, but he obediently bends his neck, tongue lolling out so he can lap at steve’s finger. “your lip gloss is spicy,” eddie says flatly as he recoils.

steve nods. “and it’s going on your cock unless you say otherwise.”

which is how steve finds himself turning eddie into a writhing mess. his hands hold onto the backs of eddie’s shaking knees as he works over his cock. his hair stings as eddie tugs on the strands. his eyes water as he sucks him in deeper and deeper into his throat, spicy lipgloss tingly on his tongue and cheeks.

“you are a fucking wonder,” eddie whines, hips humping as he grinds himself further into steve’s mouth. “just fucking made for this, huh?”

steve pulls off and spits on his cock to jack his hand over it as he pulls the head to his lips. he rubs the sensitive tip over his lips just to watch eddie twitch.

“you have no idea.”

he blows a line of cool air over the gloss that’s left there and drinks in the way eddie’s eyes roll back in his head before swallowing him back down, reveling in the spice that hits the back of his throat as he does so.

when eddie comes, he pulls steve off so he can paint his pretty, puffy, plump lips with it, dragging his cock over them to make a mess. it’s not a surprise when steve licks it off, spicy and salty and a special kind of sweet that he thinks is all eddie. he leans up to place a kiss into the thatch of hair over eddie’s cock, smearing behind come and shiny lip gloss.

“you gonna wait for me to come in my pants or can i go fuck you?”

steve likes making out. no, not likes.

loves.

and he loves giving eddie head. and he loves fucking eddie. and he loves waking up with a spicy, sticky residue on the side of his cheek after falling asleep with his head on eddie’s chest.

and maybe, just maybe, he’ll love eddie someday, too.

[kirishwima]

JJK guys when you gift them something handmade - Part 2

Toji:

Nanami:

Sukuna:

[tetzoro]

zoro + mutual masturbation has been on the brain . . WC : 500

zoro’s never done anything sexually past fisting his cock whenever the urge was too strong. he doesn’t know how to please another person in that way, hell, he barely knows how to please himself. its been his biggest worry when it comes to you — his pride riding on the fact that he has to be the best, needs to make you unravel around him as he drives you over the edge.

so you had the brilliant idea of showing him how. the only catch is that he had to show you too.

everything happened so quickly — clothes being shed, door securely locked, your back pressed against the padded arm of the couch while he all but towers over you, leaning into your space with his hand gripping his cock.

the closeness was palpable, zoro all but stealing your breaths as his face was mere inches away from yours, letting out raspy pants of your name as he flicks his wrist faster to the sight before him.

sweat beads along his hair line, one by one falling down the side of his face, tracing his sharp jawline before dripping off his chin. the room’s tension was immeasurably thick, creating a foggy heat that licked at his abdomen, almost coaxing him to prematurely spill into his hand.

doing everything he can to combat it, he swallows thickly, feeling his adam’s apple bob with a slight perspiration covering his skin in his own dew of desire.

zoro knew you were speaking, could hear your sweet voice trying to tell him something that could’ve been important to the task at hand — but all he could zero in on is the squelch of your cunt as you stuff another finger in. you were so wet, folds glistening under the soft light in the room you two explored each other in. zoro licks his lips in anticipation, mouth watering for a taste he’s never had but yearns for like no other.

pulsing with need, his fist tightly closed around his ever leaking tip and gives it a few squeezes in hopes of staving off his release, unintentially edging himself as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

mystified, zoro can’t look away. not when his name sounds like a prayer as it tumbles out from your lips. with a groan, his hips stutter as he loses control, feeling himself spurt up along his hot, heaving chest. sharp eyes trained between your legs as you all but ride your hand, juices steadily coating your fingers.

ignoring his own mess, he lunges toward you before he can even think, lightly gripping your wrist and enveloping your fingers in his mouth. the groan he lets out reverberates along your bones and deep in your soul, building up another fire within you as his tongue swirls between your digits until they’re perfectly clean.

“again.” is all he says with a breathy grunt, pulling you flush against the couch, situating between your legs with a starved yet determined lust blown look in his eye. “but this time, i want to do it.”

[isolabellz]

domestication

[rainyrambles-overcod]

Wiping away cheek kisses from the 141 as a joke? Overall, not recommended 💀

‘M tired y’all, don’t judge. It’s just a little something different than usual, via my notes app, from my time w/o internet

With Price, come on. You really thought that was a good idea for a joke, sweet? 🤨 That wasn’t very nice. 0/10. Could probably go one of two ways, depending on his mood. Good mood: to teach you a lesson by withholding future kisses from you. How long that lasts is up to you, doll 🤷‍♂️ Bad mood? Oh, he needs you to accept his kisses. Can’t have his heart broken by the one person who brings him peace, after all. So, the prick pulls you right back to smother you with so many kisses that it’d be impossible to wipe them all away. You brought this upon yourself, doll 😌

With Simon…no. Not a good joke. -100/10. Might have a little moment of serious thought once he sees that hand come up to wipe away his kiss—wondering if he’d somehow missed one of your tells that you’d been upset with him about something. He swore he’d taken out the trash like you’d asked, swore he’d mopped the mud from his boots in the foyer—oh. Oh that was a joke? Not a very good one, luvie. Don’t scare him like that, yeah? Had a moment there where he almost thought that you were just losing interest in him, or something, but wouldn’t admit that. Can’t lose his favourite person, not now or ever. Doesn’t think he could stomach such a thought. Reassures himself at your cost, and crowds your space until you accept his fawkin’ kisses.

Kyle would most certainly pout. Ever attentive, he may gently try and ask if there was something wrong, at first. Had he done something to upset you? Was it that annoying coworker again? Was that obnoxious neighbour still bugging you? No? What is it then, luv? Some slight internal panic, but he masks it by trying to figure out what happened. Will use his skills in psychological warfare to ease the truth out of you—for your own good, he swears!—only to figure out that it was just a prank. Nearly had his heart beatin’ outta his chest, luv! 😮‍💨Don’t toy with him like that, yeah? Now give him a right proper kiss to apologise—

Trying this on Johnny will backfire. Be prepared for whiplash. Wipe away his kiss, and he’ll stand there for a moment, confused x100. Tries again—maybe you just had an itch? He’ll shave a lil for you later. But when you wipe that one away too, he knows what he saw. Frowns, and may or may not just pick you right up, and march you over to the couch/bed. What’s all this for, eh? Wipin’ away his kiss like that, bon? Relentless when he discovers it was only a joke. Welp! Looks like your stuck wherever he’s managed to pin you 😚 Just maybe save this prank until after he’s showered, next time, else risk smelling like his workout all day 🤷‍♂️

[sallieraptor]

[huge post about the mystery of mildenhall manor]

(part 1 of my yapping)

[Episode 3] not to mention the way he didn't hesitate to pull Pomni back and try to free her from the spirit, even though he was terrified and had to listen to it reminding him of a painful loss. he simply just ignored it, and focused only on saving her.

he freed her, held her, and calmed her down.

and something that happens a lot whenever Kinger tries to solve a problem, is that he almost always ends up making it worse, or just not changing anything at all. and he knows it. he's mentally confused, he doesn't remember things well, it's difficult for him to stay sane and rational, but even so, he knows when he did something "wrong" or something that he "shouldn't" have done. he knows when he doesn't help, he knows when he makes things worse.

in the heat of the moment, he may not be good at understanding that he messed up in some way because of his constant mental confusion, but when he has the time to breathe, when he can recap things, when he can get to his safe place, he knows. and he feels guilty about it. I'm sure he mighty also feels worthless, and feel like a burden, but that's me talking.

the conclusion of it all is that Kinger can be seen as a character with a generic plot, the typical silly character who actually has a sad past that justifies his actions, but he is more than that.

Kinger is not just silly, he is the person seen as insane. the person in the crew who is reduced to the point of being nothing more than someone who has already lost their mind, but whose body is somehow still there.

Kinger is someone extremely brave, and extremely considerate of the others he cares about. he may be seen as a comic relief for his sudden shrieks, gasps and shaky body, but inside his stormy mind, he keeps all his loved ones protected under an umbrella. despite forgetting events, or even forgetting how to act, he always remembers them.

whether it's asking where a friend is; thinking about a friend that usually ends up missing a part of the adventure; or remembering another friend's adjustment to the world they're in.

Kinger is theoretically the unstable, unpredictable person who cannot be relied on, the person people laugh at, feel sorry for, or think they never want to become someone like him.

and it's extremely significant to know that the effect Kinger has when he holds his breath is to glow.

it's incredible how this can also be linked to the fact that he's not afraid of the dark. it's interesting to see that the representation of the thing that keeps him alive, his breath, when held, makes him glow.

I believe this shows that Kinger is the light of those around him. despite being seen as insane and crazy, he is the only one who can light the path for those who fall into the vastness of darkness. and it shows that he is someone who would be willing to stop breathing to guide those he loves.

I may have gotten it all wrong, this is just an interpretation that is subject to change of opinion, but I definitely love the depth that Kinger's character has, and I love that we could learn a little more about him.

[cheruib]

in early spring

[kimsuyeon]

yeri + taeyeon bickering on amazing saturday ♡ for anon

[zorosdimples]

mdni. cw: foot job. the idea stemmed from this post.

ino takuma thinks you’re bluffing.

“you clearly don’t know me very well,” he shrugs playfully, plopping down to sit next to you at the foot of your bed.

he bumps your shoulder and you scoff. “you think i don’t know my own boyfriend? you’re just scared to admit that i could be right.”

he demurs without skipping a beat. “bullshit.”

you chuckle. “okay. prove it, then.”

oh—those are fighting words. he can’t back down; he loves it when you’re like this: pushy and stubborn, a curl to your lip that has never once led him astray. he squints at you in mock appraisal, umber eyes sparkling with mirth. he grins, cheeks dimpling.

“go ahead and show me your best, baby.”

“fuck—shit. jesus. could you pl-please,” takuma gasps, throwing his head back, “please slow down?”

your smile is sharp, a bright, mischievous gash that distorts your usually-placid demeanor. “how about no,” you coo. “this is what you get for doubting me.”

you stop stroking his length, your right foot dancing down to toy with this balls, your left foot pressing—perhaps too harshly—against his shaft. he groans as you play with his sack, rolling the ball of your foot against his velvety skin.

the man huffs. “are you seriously gonna—?”

pausing all movement, you look up at him with a warm gaze. “we can stop here if you want to.”

there’s something about your gentle tone and the vulnerable position he’s in that makes his cheeks flush; he pulls his beanie down over his eyes. as much as he wants to deny it, to gloat, to rub it in your face that he was right and you were wrong—so, so, so wrong—he can’t.

if you keep this up, he’s going to finish. all over your feet.

he pushes his beanie up and shakes his head. his voice wavers. “keep going, please.”

[aloonaram]

A list of my fav Dick Grayson with eldest daughter syndrome fics

As an eldest daughter there’s something so refreshing about Dick working through his familial trauma as well as all his other problems so here are some of my fav fics I’ve compiled over the past like week LMAO

1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43704451/chapters/109898020

- such such such a good fic, i loved the exploration of dick’s trauma at spyral

2. https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DickGraysonsuffers/works/40771257

- absolutely loved this one shot,,, dick is always doing his best to play mediator because he’s known bruce the longest and understands his motives the most but playing mediator and understanding both sides is an exhausting task so i love the fact the author explored that here

3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/44614405

- another really good oneshot. This one is less eldest daughter syndrome and moreso exploring dick’s trauma after the catalina incident but if clark showed up right after. i think what i enjoyed most abt this fic was the vulnerability and numbness after the incident,,, def resonated with it to a degree and i liked dick and jason’s interactions, they felt realistic.

4. https://archiveofourown.org/works/41451366

- omg omg this author. This author. Phenomenal. I heavily encourage yall to read more of their stuff if you like this oneshot because all of their stuff is good. But this fic specifically was just so so so so good. I felt dick’s emotions and stress in this one,,,when you force yourself to carry the weight of your entire family’s emotional wellbeing—including your own—onto yourself, it weighs on you. So much so that its not unrealistic to go nonverbal. I just resonated a lot with this story and found that dick’s stress was extremely well written. Def one of my favs

5. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36497065/chapters/99737508#workskin

- this one. This is the favorite. It’s kind of lengthy but it’s so so so worth it. The spiraling (pun unintended) of dick’s mental wellbeing is written beautifully. Not to mention the core of the entire fic is dick wanting to get himself help, something that i think is incredibly important when writing abt mental health. Outside influences can only do so much and i found it really beautiful when dick finally found it in himself to stay just that much longer to check on damian. Also speaking of, the dick and damian parent/child relationship in this is just so so so good it hurts. fell in love with their dynamic in this one, especially with dick’s obsession with not letting damian carry all the weight of dick’s stress on his shoulders. That is peak eldest daughter syndrome and it was written phenomenally. Pls read this

EDIT** ADDED SOME NEW ONES

6. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36329323/chapters/90570550?view_adult=true

- this author is SO GOOD. Pretty sure ive already put another one of their fics on this list but this one is def my favorite of theirs. Just so so good

[flowersock69]

Working on my shading :)

[starrystevie]

18+ | explicit sex & smoking | read here on ao3

it's 1996 when steve's world gets turned upside down again.

or, well, technically it's a few minutes into '97 when everything changes. he's at a new years party that his ex timothy is hosting and everyone is still hooting and hollering as they ring it in, pressing sloppy kisses to cheeks and lips with arms hooked around necks.

steve doesn't get kissed. not because people aren't eyeing him with a smirk and mischief and open arms of their own. no, he doesn't let himself get kissed because something feels... off about the night. the energy is weird, buzzing through his skin like electricity, keeping him on edge in a way he hasn't been since he left hawkins for boston in the fist place.

it isn't long until he figures out why.

timmy is walking up to him with his hands on some guy's shoulders, pushing him backwards with a wide smile like he's trying to convince him of something. the guy is about his height, short cropped dark hair and a leather jacket, the sight of his back alone getting steve excited. timmy always did know his type to a t.

"hey!" timmy yells over the music as he catches steve's eye. "got someone for you to meet."

once the guy turns around, the smiles on both steve and the mystery guy's faces fall before their minds catch up with them and plaster them back together. even with the short cropped hair, even with the piercing in his eyebrow, even with the stubble spreading over his defined jaw, steve would know that face, that heartbeat, anywhere.

"steve, i wanted to introduce you to someone. jamie, this is steve, you know... the guy i was telling you about?"

timmy's trying to be helpful, not even attempting to be subtle as he pushes the two closer together with a wide grin. steve's going on autopilot, reaching out a hand to grab the one outstretched towards him, but his brain is going a million miles a minute.

"nice to meet you, steve," eddie, or... jamie, says, palm pressed tightly against his own.

steve can't say anything, focusing too much on the warmth on his palm and the way his deep voice shakes through him like thunder and the way he feels like he's 19 again with a stuttering heart.

"what are-" he starts.

eddie shakes his head and tugs on steve's hand. "not here. come on."

they end up in a secluded corner, close enough that steve can smell smoke and leather polish and the sharp bite of his cologne. close enough that he can see the lines starting to appear on the corners of eddie's eyes, the stray grey hairs popping up in his beard, the questions swirling behind his eyes.

"eddie."

"jamie," is all he says back, not even bothering to look away from steve's eyes. "it's jamie now."

they both sigh like they don't know where to start because they don't. steve grapples with all the questions in his mind before settling on one. the one that tore through him late at night. the one that stayed on the tip of his tongue anytime he heard a van backfire or metallica.

"where did you go?" he knows it sounds like an accusation because it is. he doesn't let himself feel bad when eddie (jamie) flinches.

"feds," he replies easily, sneaking a cigarette out of his pocket and putting it between his lips. he tilts his head back to light it away from steve's face, blowing smoke up towards the ceiling. "once i got better, they scooped me up and brought me to boston. new name, new hairstyle, new life. at least they let me choose my name so i didn't get stuck with some thing awful."

steve snorts. "so you ended up with 'jamie' how?"

"middle name's james. it just made sense." he says it with a shrug and puffs at his cigarette again.

they look at each other for a moment. steve watches his tongue flit out of his mouth to wet his lips, watches the overhead lights glint off the metal of a surprise tongue piercing, watches his throat swallow around nothing but spit.

he can see, feel, eddie doing the same. he hams it up, pulls his lip between his teeth and makes it a show, looks back up at eddie from under his lashes. takes in a deep breath when eddie inches closer to him until their hips are bumping and steve plucks the cigarette out of his lips for a puff of his own.

he's 19 again, in love or like or lust with a boy in a leather jacket that has the world against him. he's 19 again, working a hand over himself to thoughts of his crush who up and vanished without so much as a goodbye. he's 19 again, crying after he comes, wishing he could go back in time before he met curly hair and a battle vest.

"so how do you know tim?" eddie whispers like he has to be quiet even though the part is loud and no one could hear them if they tried.

"how do you know him?" steve asks back, blowing out smoke and putting the cigarette back between eddie's barely spread lips.

his eyes flick down to look at steve's still pursed lips from when he angled the smoke over his shoulder. "we used to fuck, once upon a time when i first got to boston."

steve hums like it's the answer he expected and maybe it is. "same here. dated for about a year."

eddies eyes grow wide and his hip bumps into steve's like it's a question in and of itself and maybe it is. "didn't know you swing that way, harrington."

"well, you don't really know anything about me then, do you? didn't back then either, munson."

his eyes goes even wider, something like fear and shame and comfort and hope swimming in them. "leonard. it's leonard now."

steve hums again, says 'jamie leonard' like he's feeling it out on his tongue. tasting it between his teeth. teaching his mouth how to form the words instead of what he really wants to say like 'eddie' or 'munson' or 'i'm still somehow in love with you no matter your name'.

"jamie leonard," he says again, breath hitting eddie's lips. he shivers when he sees his lips part a bit more like he wants to swallow the sound and air that steve gives him. "we have a lot to catch up on, don't we?"

steve's apartment isn't all that big, isn't exactly small either but it has everything he could possibly need. he has a living room that looks out over the harbor and a kitchen with all new appliances and eddie munson naked in his bedroom. you know, the essentials.

their clothes are all over the floor, eddie's motorcycle helmet flung somewhere in the vague direction of the armchair in the corner but the smack it makes when it hits the wall makes steve think there's probably a hole in the drywall.

but eddie's sucking on his cock, hands wrapped around his thighs as he takes him even deeper, eyes flicking up to meet steve's, beard scratchy as it rubs against his sensitive skin. he's never been blown by someone with a tongue piercing but he doesn't think he can ever go back now.

the last thing on his mind is wondering if there's a hole in the goddamn wall.

"oh fuck, yeah there you go. feels so goddamn good," steve breathes out as he feels the back of eddie's throat on his cockhead. he tangles a hand as best he can in his short dark hair to try and coax him even deeper. eddie hums at either the praise or the tug on his hair or the way it feels as he works his tongue over steve's cock and it makes him jolt unexpectedly.

if he could go back in time and tell his 19 year old self that eddie was alive, that he was okay and breathing and learning how to suck cock like a goddamn professional, he'd do it in a heartbeat. save himself a few years of pining and fly straight out to boston to see it for himself. he's sure robin would have preferred to not have to listen to his whining everyday about brown eyes and dark curls.

eddie brings a hand to cup his balls, finger teasingly pressing into steve's taint, bobbing his head eagerly like he wants him to come in his mouth, but steve has other plans. he tugs eddie off of his cock quickly, lines of thick spit falling between them and sticking to his chin before crowding him up against the pillows.

steve kisses like he's dying and eddie is survival. he kisses him like he is drowning and eddie is the shore that he's clawing his way towards. he kisses him like 19 year old steve could only dream about.

soon enough, steve's sliding into him with a groan that he lets eddie swallow from him. the headboard knocks heavily into the wall a few times making even more possible holes, but all steve can focus on is the heat around him, the way eddie's whines bounce off the walls of his too empty bedroom and cover him like a blanket.

he likes fucking this way. he likes being able to watch as someone's face contorts into pleasure, like to see eyes rolling back and mouths dropping open and sweat beading around their hairline. likes seeing eddie fall apart.

"steve, oh my god," eddie's voice is still deeper than he's used to as he moans so he angles his hips up more to hear it again, the low timbre snaking through his veins and leaving fire in its wake. "don't stop."

"i won't," he groans into eddie's open mouth. "wanted this for so long, for fucking 11 years, not giving you up yet."

it's a bit more open than steve normally is when he first fucks someone but this isn't just someone. this isn't fucking a stranger he picked up in a bar that had almost the right shade of brown eyes and patches on his jacket that are almost the right shape. this is eddie. his eddie. or well... jamie.

"fuck, i'm gonna date you so fucking hard, harrington. yeah, right there keep going, shit-"

he's babbling as steve works his hips faster, tangling their free hands together to press above their heads on a pillow, and it's everything steve could have asked for. hearing his name fall from the lips he's dreamed about for years, sharing the same air as they breath into one another.

he thought he was over it, thought he had moved on at least a little bit from a halfway stranger he knew in his teens, but with the way they're both looking straight into each other's eyes begging each other to see them, he thinks they might both be back in 1986.

"what do-" steve cuts himself off as he whimpers, close, so close to the finish line. "what do you want me to call you? is it jamie or-"

he's shaking his head on the pillow, leaning up to bite at steve's lips and pull it between his teeth. he looks serious and certain when he says, "no, that name's not for you, it's... i need-"

steve brings his hand down to work over his cock and revel in the way his eyes roll back until he can only see white. he hits something that makes his eyes fly back open and he gets to see his favorite shade of brown again.

"eddie," he whispers. leaning down quickly, steve presses a kiss to his ear before whispering his favorite name there too. "eddie, baby, come on. let me... come on, eddie."

it feels silly to be chanting a name of a ghost as intensely as he is. but he can see it crawl over eddie like it's bringing him back to life. like he isn't bones on the ground in an alternate dimension. like he isn't a plain headstone in a graveyard next to a forgotten trailer park. like he isn't playing pretend with a fake name and a fake life.

steve says eddie and it brings him home.

afterwards, they lay together in steve's probably too soft bed, tears drying on both of their cheeks as they catch up. as they tell each other secrets that their younger selves could never dare. as the piece together the lives they have and the lives they want to have and slot each other into the mix.

steve has a hand in eddie's hair, eddie has one trailing over steve's arm that's slung over his chest. he's always been a fan of cuddling after sex.

"y'know," eddie mutters, "tim's been trying to get me to meet his hot teacher friend for months now."

steve hums, presses a kiss to his temple. "and he's been trying to get me to meet his hot motorcycle tech for months, too."

there are a few holes in the walls from the headboard and eddie's helmet, but steve thinks that they can patch those up, too.

he's still jamie leonard to the outside world. he's still a guy who doesn't have much family other than a mysterious uncle in indiana and doesn't have many friends other than ex boyfriends. he still introduces himself with a handshake and says a fake name like it's real.

but when he gets home, when he crawls onto a couch that overlooks the harbor and has arms wrapped around him, he gets to be eddie munson once more. and with the ghost of a man in his arms, steve harrington feels more like himself than he ever thought he would.