#pls help me i want to die
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no matter how much help i get, i don’t think ill ever be okay again
#lolllll#i’m going to kill myself soon#jk maybe#idk i’ll see#i’m so unhappy#i’m so funny pls kill me i desperately want to die idk how much i can take i hate myself i want to kill myself#pls help me i want to die#i want to die so bad#i hope i die soon#i want to die#depression relapse#it is what it is#i hate my life#mentally unstable#tw depressing stuff#trauma#i wanna kms#i want to be okay#tw depressing thoughts#mental abuse#mentally tired#this account is a cry for help pls help me
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#ice ice baby#polls#pls rb i want a good sample size#we can't ALL die of scurvy it's not mathematically possible! someone has to succumb to exposure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also i could have included sooooo many more medical ailments i am being restrained#it could be its own separate poll#anyway so many of these are me and i would love to die of some horrible disease but i would fall into a crevasse#i do not look where i walk and there have been multiple occasions in my life where i have unintentionally climbed into a ravine & got stuck#one of which i had to us tree roots to climb up a rock face and i should have fallen and died#the other option was getting washed away by the tide lmao#and i was too embarrassed to call my boss for help#hi andrea can you send a boat to come get me i'm stuck at the bottom of hole in the wall and can't get back up#greatest (s)hits
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theyre in my head. forever. take some scraps
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc gangle#tadc jax#tadc zooble#tadc pomni#before anyone speaks up i am a lesbian pls dont point out the dyke part#i simply think he could be lesbian material. is he? no#i personally see him as very questioning and weird. too stunted with too many walls for romance#begrudgingly accepts friendships and maybe gets One close enough that gives him a weird. moment. realization#kicks his ass into gear that oops cant be driving them all away now or ill wanna kms#i wish i was capable of multishipping bc ribbun has some funny potential but man.#as is its too Not For Me. but gangle beating on jax for revenge is sooooo funny#also the fact ragatha and jax are the same person in different flavors? delightful.#both hiding themselves to such an extent that the one everyone knows isnt Real.#rags hiding herself through helping others while jax does it through pushing them away viciously and acting out#despicable. they care for each other in their own weird way.#she hates him but doesnt want him to die. she hates him but if something happened then she would be worried.#thanks for reading my rambling
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playing through where the dead must go with an ingellvar rook and......... oh. rook LOVES loves the grand necropolis actually huh. you can hear it in every line they say. I'm. so full of feelings I didn't expect this to hit so hard but between the voice lines, banger music and astounding visuals (TELL ME this game is ugly and that the visual style sucks while you meet me in these halls of grieving I fucking dare you) I feel second hand drenched with grief and melancholy on the inside what the fuck
(feat. lucanis coming along unwittingly meeting future in-laws and realizing that rook has been clenching their teeth with the effort of only seeming about 5% of the freak they actually are the entire time he's known them fhsadkjfsa. local man learns that the one thing future spouse is deadly fucking serious about is their role as a watcher. it's a little hot)
#it fits so well because I haven't picked up a single necromancy spell and kept holding off on going to recruit emmrich#almost like rook is so homesick he could die but also dreads being back there because he fears he fucked up#and that the place itself would reject him somehow the same way the seniors watchers did#WILL THEY KNOW ME they say about the wisps with all the fear and longing of a child!!!!!!! what the FUCK what the fuck helllo!!!!#emmrich already feels like such a healing presence for ingellvar in particular through this he's so kind and companionable with them#of course rook is ruefully wracked with grief beneath it all they're in exile. augggggghhhh#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#rook ingellvar#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#at least american masc rook DOES sound like an excited child through this whole mission it's so endearing#I had headcanoned that rye was a bit of a problem kid -- brilliant but restless and underachieving despite wanting to be good#and this works really well with that actually. emmrich. pls come help this guy heal his relationship to academia and home lol#'what *idiot* would try to break into our necropolis?' he loves this place he's so proud of this place bonding over it with another watcher#is so important to him. I need to lie down
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Something that never made sense to me:
Other angels get their grace cut out of them -> they die
Castiel (somehow) runs out of cannibalized grace -> Castiel dies
Castiel gets his grace cut out of him during Metatron's spell -> Castiel becomes an alive human???????????????????
#Castiel#Cas#SPN#Supernatural#and Cas becoming human happened first!#SPN pls simple lore consistency is all I want#I am BEGGING you#do angels die when they lose their grace or not????#HELP#I watched all of this live and it still doesn't make sense to me all these years later#op
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sorry to vent art guys . i promise that next time ill bottle up my emotions and keep them to myself like a good little boy
#i miss you ; i miss you so much#you meant so much to me – i wish i knew what i did wrong so that you perished#i wish you would've told me before you went away . because i could've prevented this from happening in the first place#all i ever wanted to do was inspire people . but look at me – a fool falling victim to his own grief and guilt and regrets#i can't help anyone get out of their own hells . i can't even get out of my own#how could i ever help people out of a hole if im stuck in one myself ?#i hope i die in my sleep tonight#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis hv shrignold#dhmis coffin#dhmis hv chester#vent art#vent post#vent in tags#im so tired#pls ignore#yeah tony is scared of bugs . if i hadn't made that obvious . i guess
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george in robbers music video. george in sex music video. george in give yourself a try music video. george in sex music video. george in girls music video. george in sex music video. george in sex music video.
#mmmmhggggghrhnrnnfnfnrhhd#george daniel come to my house when#george daniel when#george plplsllslspsppspd#pslspwlsppwpsppsplwpsplsps#the way he stops playing in the girls mv when the girl walks over...#THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME#im genuinely feral like you dont get it.#george girlie until the DAY I DIE#george pls u can stare at my ass or something idgaf i WANT YOU#imngonna lose my shot giys some9je help me#google... show me the blonde man's tits...#george trans au when plsplspslsppsppspsppspsllslsppslsppslsplspssslslsllspsllsps#guys im BEGGING u i dont wanna think about dicks but i love george somhch km gonna GOINSANE#blah blah!#george daniel#the 1975
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what if i told you that i had a 500+ page google doc chronicling my efforts to transcribe the bttf telltale game into a full script line by line
#cherry thoughts#back to the future#me when the hyperfixation is hyperfixating O_O#the best part is that its at 500+ pages and not even done yet. ive only just started the main cutscenes of ep 4 💀💀💀#and still have sooooo much to triple check in the last 3 episodes that im sure ive missed#but ill get every line/interaction in there or die trying! theres already been so many that ive never seen anyone else upload or talk about#biff using the dog feeder to open his beer. edna threatening that shell keep marty from graduating. marty recording einsteins bark <3#mrs parker having hots for a grocery bag boy?? marty telling the SSS to break into arthurs apartment. emmett asking abt the tape recorder#smut at the library??? marty throwing arthurs subpoena in the air. matches and kid trying (and failing) to count to three#<- those are all from ep 1 for a start. i am painstakingly making my way through it trying every different interaction i can think of lol#if anyone would want it when it is done pls lmk! or if u know of any unique lines that i mightve missed that would be very helpful too ;w;
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Seeking Merlin fic recs of cannon divergence after s2 ep8 Sins of the Father, with Arthur not going back to hating magic again after learning the circumstances behind his birth and then he and merlin team up.
#i stumbled across this episode playing on the tv#and i now crave a better solution cuz Arthur was so so close to accepting magic#uther can die#i'll also accept fics where he doesn't but i just really want a non magic hating arthur from that episode pls#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin bbc#fic recs#fic rec request#seeking fic recs#me#arthur pendragon#s2 ep8 sins of the father#help me find this fic#please#i will also post any i find in the comments#ao3#ao3 fanfic#ffnet#fanfiction#fanfic#ff.net#season 2 episode 8 sins of the father#merlin season 2
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can any1 help me with wehre to watch workin boys i will fully pay for it bc ik you need to but like where to get like the digital ticket with it on it or w/e plss i just wanna see it okay if any1 has a link or smthh 🙏🏽🙏🏽
#team starkid pls just let me buy it on ur website i literally want to okayy its not tht i dont wanna pay#its tht idk where to evne watch it#starkid#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#nightmare time#hatchetfield#workin' boys#<- putting it in all the tags so ppl see sorry#im seeing ppl say things tht idk what theyre talking abt and i think its stuff in workin boys pls help me#flappy rambles
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instantly crying when you see your abuser is so devastating because that means they still hold power over you and they always will
#mentally unstable#trauma#i wanna kms#mental abuse#pls help me i want to die#i’m so sad#tw depressing stuff#parental abuse#tw abuse#emotional abuse#abuse survivor#i want to be okay#recovery#mentally tired#recovering is hard#still healing
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kinda fucked up that the only pokemon realistically stopping me from completing the blueberry dex are the violet paradox trio
#pokemon#pokemon scarvio#indigo disk#indigo disk spoilers#kinda but also not really#like i dont even have an iron leaves i never got one#bc my social anxiety stops me from randomly entering other peoples raids#like what if they hate me and want me to die if i joined??? what then??#idk i dont have everything else filled in but any potential version exclusives could be traded from shield/legends#excuse me#AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#also listening to the hades soundtrack and i swear i barely remember the current song except for certain sections#despite the fact that i have like over a hundred hours and also one hundred percented it on steam#and yes this post is indeed a cry for help#like i dont even want to keep the other paradoxes i dont need to keep them#i just need them filled in pls
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My mum just told me to go back to tumblr and keep talking because its keeping me quiet....my dear Jewish mother I hate to break it to you but I am on this app talking about how I love Jesus...Im sorry
#im well aware being Christian is like a privilege in this society or whatev#but being raised in a Jewish family and becoming Christian kinda sucks#shes so disappointed in me :(#like I cant help what i believe but also fuck i wish I could just stick with my families beliefs#my family fought to be Jewish and im like nah lemme join the oppressors#my saftas family didnt die for this :/#im not trying to victimise my Christian ass btw#ik im the one chosing this it just sucks to see my mum cry about it#like she fullly cried and asked what she did wrong when i said i want to convert to Christianity#[me coming out to her as gay] her: oh this is chill same#[me saying Im Christian] her: nooooo my baby what did i do wrong 😭#i love my mum so much#shes great#/srs#i feel bad...#shell get used to it but ill mostly just shut up about it#born and raised Christians wont get this#they were raised priveleged and their family will never be hurt by them being Christian#i was raised a minority and abandoned my culture for the opressors religion#fellow converts (of any faiths) pls make yourself known#uhhhh#ok#rant done#religion#jewish#chrisitian#convert
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Gonna b honest. I kinda preferred being actively and pressingly suicidal to whatever the fuck I've got going on now. At least then I knew what I could do to keep myself reasonably safe. Whether I'd do it is another question entirely but at least it was cut-and-dry and made sense. Idek what my brain is doing atp, much less what it needs from me
#like. I think this is mostly the same as I felt before starting the antibiotics but like. kinda worse?#like I don't wanna die I'm just tired of being alive. I wanna make myself live but suffer almost#and it's like. I don't Really want that. but my brain thinks I do and idk how to deal with that#I thought I did bcuz I've been dealing with it literally my entire life but it's like. it feels Different now somehow?#like it feels like now that I know I'm capable of doing it. I almost don't trust my brain to stay in the passive mode?#like im reading too far into my 'normal' thoughts/feelings.#which doesn't entirely make sense bcuz I have 'attempted' in the past. but I didn't actually Do anything ig. just prepared it but didn't do#idk. idk how I'm feeling or what's going on or which meds if any are doing this and I don't like it and I want it to stop#or at least go back to being active abt it so I can say hey listen I'm gonna do this pls take the dangerous stuff away for a bit or smth#idfk man I'm just so fucking sick of my brain. I hate everything it seems to be doing lately. it can't fucking work or cooperate or anything#I'm trying to be nice to my brain since I know there's a lot going on with it but it's like. brother. can you help me out here At All.#armchair speaks#suicide mention#tw suicide mention
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Hey fellas I don't have the time to skim thru the video to the summoning rn but I need to know what shoes does Jon wear for wiggly? Cause in that one pic of all 5 of them backstage it looks like he's just in his socks and I need to know
#max rambles#nerdy prudes must die#help me pls#everyday i get more and more tempted to contact the costume designer and ask if i could talk with them abt their design process#and this show made me want to do it SO much more cause godDAMN#i am just a poor little costume design student who wants to talk with more professionals whose work i admire
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after a rlly bad fight this morning, mom and dad have both agreed to actually pay me for once for doing mom’s whole route for her (which I should’ve been being paid by mom this entire time once I started doing it most of the time) but I don’t expect much. I bet she’s gonna give me like $20 and be like ‘that’s more than enough and that’s all you’re getting period’ and dad, despite him being absolutely loaded with money, will probably only give me $20 too. tbh they BOTH owe me like $100+ a piece. him for babysitting his dog for 8 months and mom for doing her job for her.
#the bosses can’t afford to pay me and I completely understand#and I don’t actually work here so they don’t have to pay me#but they ocassionally give me $20-50 gift cards for general stuff#and they’ve already promised me one for helping mom last week#but I’m getting REALLY tired of doing all this work and further fucking up my foot/back#for free and not being acknowledged for my help#yes her foot’s bad but at this point I rlly think she’s abusing my willingness to help#I should be nice and refuse the money from mom and be like ‘oh u don’t have to do that it’s fine’#but no. I’m gonna get as much money as I can from her bc it’s only fair#for all the free time I’m sacrificing and for her being an overbearing abusive mother#who won’t even let me spend my own money on things I actually want#’oh but you’re not gonna actually use that’ and ‘dolls and plushies are wastes of money’#and she gets mad when I buy makeup but that’s literally something I need for my job (calling drag a job bc it technically is)#and I have to replace a bunch of stuff and upgrade to better quality stuff if I wanna look good and get booked#’well you didn’t earn it yourself so it’s not ACTUALLY your money. it’s mine and your dad’s#so we can control what you buy with it’ you do that yeah#but dad lets me use it on whatever the fuck I could possibly want#anyway fuck off and die in a ditch pls 💕
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