#plenty of situations to learn these behaviours

[of-pale]

There are but two certainties in life: death and taxes. So it’s business as usual.

Nero walked into the shop, surprised to see Vergil in Dante's chair, sifting through papers, while Dante lounged lazily on the sofa flipping through a magazine.

"What's going on here?"

"Oh, you know, Vergil being Vergil,” Dante gestured dramatically toward his brother as if presenting a circus animal in a grand display. “He thinks he can do a better job at managing a demon hunting business. Not like I've been doing it just fine for decades.”

"Anyone with opposable thumbs could do a better job than you, brother," Vergil replied dryly, scrutinizing the atrociously messy paperwork and accounting. It didn't require a genius to see how badly Dante’s business would be in the red if it weren't for all the money Dante undoubtedly weaselled out of Lady. Still, that's money that has to be repaid, and Vergil didn't even want to think about the returns the loan shark hag expects of Dante.

What truly frustrated Vergil was knowing for a fact that Dante could do a better job at running the business. Annoying as it was to admit, Dante had always been better with numbers. Ever since they were kids, adding up numbers at lightning speed was as easy for him as reading was for Vergil. So this accounting mess? It was like Dante didn’t bother to put any effort in it. And hadn't for decades. From the looks of things, he even got enough jobs coming in to get by, so why…?

“Damn, I wish it was that easy and I could just hire a monkey to do it,” Nero shook his head. “This shit's boring as hell.”

Vergil couldn't help but let his frustration leak through, “Something for Dante to consider then, since it would do a better job than this.”

"Does that mean I can pay you in bananas, Verge?" Dante fired back with a grin.

"A considerable improvement, since you don't pay me at all.”

"Hey now, you get your cut at the end of the demon hunting jobs.”

“You mean the rightful pay earned for a job I complete by myself, from which you take a cut simply because you act as a broker of a broker?”

"Welcome to capitalism, bro. It's how things are run topside.”

"I miss hell already,” Vergil replied sarcastically, massaging his temples. “Please tell me you at least paid the taxes.”

"Hey, I may be the Legendary Demon Hunter, but even I don't mess with the IRS.”

"Wait, you do all the bookkeeping on paper?” Nero raised an eyebrow. “You know we live in the 21st century, right?”

"Eh, it's easier on paper.” Dante shrugged. “Especially if the occasional job needs to be kept off the books.”

“You just said you don't want to mess with the IRS.”

“Oh, if there's one thing scarier than the IRS, it's Lady when she's come to collect her due.” Dante got up from the sofa and sauntered over to his desk, where an open pizza box awaited. “A wise man picks his battles.”

“A fool sets himself up for them,” Vergil muttered, quickly realising the irony of his own words.

Dante grabbed a slice of pizza and took a curious peek over Vergil's shoulder at his notes. “Hm, you got the total amount wrong by a couple hundred. Right there.” He pointed at it before cheekily patting Vergil on the shoulder and continuing on his merry way back to the sofa.

Vergil growled demonically in pure frustration, fighting the very real urge to roll all the blasted papers into a ball and dump them in the bin.

[sophie-frm-mars]

Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.

I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.

A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.

You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.

I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.

Anyways, best wishes. Take care.

Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.

Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.

For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again

https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531

I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.

As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.

(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)

I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.

I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.

[theabigailthorn]

If you had an employee who was perfectly civil and did all their work but just didn't want to be your friend what would you do?

I actually had a similar situation a while ago, not with an employee but a colleague! I was on a show with an actress who was really, really cold to me - to the point that some of the crew even commented on it like, "I can't believe I've just seen her do that, she's never this rude to anyone else!" After one incident I asked her whether I had done something to upset her and she denied it in a very odd, stiff way, so I was scratching my head a bit.

I reflected on my own behaviour and eventually I hypothesised (never found out if this was true, so it might all be in my head) that I might be accidentally activating her insecurities for a cluster of reasons, some of which weren't within my control but some of which arguably were. For example, I was pretty sure my being trans was part of it and that definitely indicated some shit she needed to work through! But I'd also been talking excitedly about my upcoming work on another show, which might have come across as bragging; I like to share my excitement, and I'm learning that some people take it as boasting when I don't mean it to be. I'd assumed she'd share my excitement because in my eyes she's much more successful than me, but you never know how people view their own careers - she might not have had anything lined up after that project and could have been really anxious about her career even though from the outside it looked good to me! (I also found out much later she'd been going through some difficult personal stuff during the shoot, so maybe she wasn't at her best - it happens!)

So having done that reflection I considered taking it to the producers but then I was like, "Y'know what? I've only got 2 weeks left on this thing, I don't have to see her much, let's just get through it." I finished the shoot with no more incidents, gave her plenty of space whenever we had to be together, and then afterwards I chatted to my agent about it too and we agreed yeah, not worth picking a fight over :)

Not sure if I'll ever run into her again but I'd be happy to start afresh if we ever did! We all have bad months sometimes <3

[cinnamonest]

Thinking about terrible terrible boys who use Darling’s social anxiety against themselves

Kaveh who keeps you home because the world is just far too mean, just look at his roommate if you need any reminder. It’s putting himself out there that resulted in his debt, it’s the outside that caused you hurt don’t ever forget. It’s fine, he’ll lavish you enough to fill all you need, you really don’t need any other contact than himself!… and the forced proximity of Alhaitham grrr.

Ayato who keeps bringing you in important social events just to see you cling to him. He doesn’t teach you any etiquette, so you never know what’s socially unacceptable. You stand so close to him, trembling, your voice barely louder than a whisper. It serves as a reminder, see how bad the world is? All of them are vile people. If you run away, who’s to say you won’t end up with someone worse than him? (It’s terrible, how you keep waking these sadistic urges in him. He’s a good man with lots of self restraint but still a man.)

Wriothesley who got you locked up in his office. You complain about boredom, about his behaviour, but he only swat your worries away. He’s not worried about you ever running off, this is an underground prison. Criminals are the only residents, and god knows how many would have enough self control to keep their hands off if he’s not with you. Besides you’ve been here for so long, you have no place on the surface anymore. What would you do, go cry to Neuvillette? Pfff yeah, right. Try saying hello to Clorinde without trembling first.

Yes yes I am FOR this idea, also consider: Kaeya is the top tier candidate for it. He’s already in the top tier of Manipulative Bastardry, but it gets so much worse if he finds a weakness to exploit — and he’s great at sensing those.

He doesn’t mind that you’re introverted. However, he doesn’t just use the situations as opportunities to give you affirmation as a means of comforting you and coaxing you into bonding with him, no, he stoops so much lower than that. Outright taking advantage of it for his own benefit, ensuring he can use every tactic at his disposal to get whatever he wants... except "whatever he wants" actually just tends to be one consistent thing.

In the early stages, where he can pretend he doesn’t know you well enough to be able to feign ignorance to how much it would exhaust you, he makes sure to plan long public outings, watching as your energy quickly drains until you can’t bear another second in the public atmosphere and all but beg him to return home.

This gives him the opportunity to act disappointed (when in reality, he’s overjoyed it’s playing out exactly as planned) — aw, and here he had so many more things he wanted to show you before the night was over, but no worries, it’s fine… no no, it’s fine, really… and now that you’re all nice and feeling guilty, well, that will just make it much easier to coax you into giving him something to compensate for the disappointment you’ve caused once you’re behind closed doors. Maybe you’ll even volunteer it yourself.

But even later on, once he can no longer put on an act of not knowing how easily drained you are, he can still use it against you. Don’t worry, he knows you’re shy and easily tired out, you two can just stay at home tonight… besides, there’s plenty of fun things you can do alone at home, right…? Surely you’ll be able to think of something.

He, however, stoops even lower still, because he’s also willing to exploit your paranoias and insecurities, even if it means hurting you a bit. Part of the reason why you’re so socially withdrawn, he learns, is that you’re afraid of how others perceive you — I’m just annoying them, they all secretly hate me, you say, everyone thinks I’m weird…

And he… doesn’t rush to correct you or anything. Just shrugs.

Ah, who cares what they think? You already have someone who appreciates you as you are, you know.

Not denying it. If anything, it’s a subtle confirmation… he may even throw in a blatant —

Well, sure, they might feel that way, but I don’t. That’s good enough, isn't it? What do you need their attention for...?

— to really drive the point home, and throw in a bit of accusation and guilt for good measure. He likes hearing you immediately panic and stumble over your words as you reassure him that you don't need anyone else... it's adorable, and the ego boost is euphoric.

Honestly, you’re too gullible for your own good, so precious, so cute in how you fall for it so perfectly, effortless on his part. You don’t even hide your reaction in your expression, so transparent and vulnerable, the way your eyes widen with shock and you hang your head and your eyes water, giving him the perfectly opportunity to comfort you and hold you close and assure you it’s okay, they don’t matter, screw them anyway, and so on.

You’re so sweet, so pure. So much so that you almost, almost actually make him feel bad about it. How impressive.

[neriumxoleander]

If you could explain, I'm only learning this now! What's going on with Gato? I've only seen vague posts but I know all social media is gone (because by god fucking twitter apparently) I've seen from the fake gatobob account post about recent events and I'm soo confused. Could you please shed some more light on this? If you are as clueless as I am, you don't need to respond. - @your-very-own-anon (mod speaking)

Sorry for the late response, I've been trying to retag some things while I'm focused on this account for once. I'll try to be brief? please don't take me as the authority on this, I just happened to get into the tags while it was unfolding earlier today. still going under a read more though. i suppose a tw for mentions of racism and xenophobia are warranted. And please do not interact if you are a minor or have no age listed on your blog, I will block you.

Gato deleted her social media accounts this morning (tumblr, twitter, pillowfort) and explained on patreon it was for her mental health and safety (which... safety? hm) and someone here immediately claimed the gatobob url. which happens, it's tumblr. but this person is using it basically as a callout center.

the callout seems to be about an incident that happened in the patreon exclusive discord server before it got shut down a couple months ago. tldr according to this person, someone (a mod?) made a racist comment towards someone, and gato apparently handled the situation poorly and neither her or the mods apology were really that great. I was in the server as a lurker more than anything, but I don't remember being there when this happened.

other people sending in asks to this new gatobob account have also been calling her out for xenophobia, but I have a feeling that's looking a little bit too much into statements she's made about her games being redistributed in Russia and Spain specifically if i recall correctly.

this new blog is demanding gato and the aforementioned mod properly apologize for their behaviour, but in my opinion, this is a really weird and bad way to go about it. Smart to use her url as a way to boost the problem, but... I haven't seen any solid evidence besides some very vague screenshots, none of them including the racist remarks (the screenshots they've posted so far definitely aren't good responses or apologies if they ARE linked to this incident, and it should have been taken seriously) And the victim from the racism incident is NOT the person running the new gatobob account, so it feels very weird to me that this person is taking it upon themselves to stir everyone up and demand things from gato and the mod.

as far as I can tell, gato hasn't said anything about this on patreon, although she's likely taking her separation from social media very seriously. If she is aware (and I'm sure she's getting plenty of DMs about this on patreon), she'll likely make a post there addressing it in the next couple days, but that's just speculation.

I'm keeping a mostly neutral stance in this whole thing, but I'm encouraging people to not interact with this new gatobob account. There's nothing we can really do; they aren't impersonating her, posting anything against ToS as far as Im aware, and people have been hoarding urls for years. Just... listen and learn, I think is all I can suggest. Form your own opinions, but don't go on a witch hunt about it, if that makes any sense.

I'll try to answer other questions, but I'm just one guy on the internet who doesn't usually get tangled with things like this. Please be patient.

[tonydaddingham]

what the hell is going on in hell

this is essentially a braindump of ramble-y thoughts because the situation going on in hell is currently my new sub-fixation. a couple of things mentioned/shown in s2 would indicate the position that hell is currently in, and i dont think it's inaccurate to say that they appear somewhat stretched.

first up, we meet shax in ep1; she and crowley appear to have some kind of arrangement (ha) going in, where they are exchanging information - shax keeping crowley abreast of the goings on in hell, presumably so he can monitor his (and by extension - aziraphale's) safety being now an exiled retired demon... and crowley seems to be helping shax to assimilate to life topside, by means of teaching her behaviour that will mean she blends in more with humanity in her new role.

i did a post on bits of this scene, and on shax in general, that looked at how shax appears to be working somewhat with the favour of the higher-ups, possibly to the point of an unofficial informant, that would help her climb the career ladder. but i do wonder how far her allegiance lies, and actually how much she seems to know. in any case, a couple of things about this scene:

hell either doesn't know, or refuses to change, crowley's address for his post - they're still being sent to the flat in his name, and not his new abode, the bentley. furthermore, it's possibly even the case that hell hasn't even acknowledged that crowley has been replaced - they won't accept/recognise shax's signature.

however, shax appears to be very firmly in position as his replacement, and presumably has been for at least a little while. there's been a gap of 3/4 years between s1 and s2, so allowing for hell to be slow on the uptake in replacing crowley (as well as being initially shit-scared of him re: the holy water bath), plus shax is still learning things/remarking on how easy the job is, let's be really generous and say she's had the position, and the flat, for around six months. realistically though, estimating from her question about the boiler which, from crowley's tone, seems to be something that happens periodically, id say it's likely more around 1-3 months.

in any case, that's plenty of time for hell to update the records, right?*

same as crowley remarked in s1, it seems to be universally understood in hell that the ends justify the means; doesn't matter how things are done, just that they are. if shax echoes this sentiment, it supports that it must be true; hell doesn't give one shit about her interacting with crowley. this is supported by 1827; whether you look at it that crowley didn't secure elspeth's soul for hell through suicide, or that crowley was caught being good/nice in the general sense, either way it's strongly suggested that there is a consequence for him not doing the job. doesn't matter how it's done, only that it is.

ergo, hell doesn't care that shax is interacting with crowley, nor that she appears to be recruiting him as an intelligence source (despite his lackadaisical branding of 'traitor'), only that she does what she's ordered to. the issue is though, what are shax's orders at the moment? which leads me to the next one:

she lists three things, two of which don't appear to hold much importance to crowley, or at least he's not surprised by them. the first - he's still in hell's bad books: cool, not a surprise. the second, however, is the 'half rations' reveal. this brilliant post talks about this, because... well, what would demons feed on? or be interested in having, that holds any kind of importance to them? more on this later*. regardless though, crowley seems... to halfheartedly mull over the information? like its interesting, but not a major surprise? maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

the third thing though is the one that crowley perks up at: that something has happened in heaven. shax appears to admit that she doesn't know the details, and needs intelligence, which crowley brushes off. now, the thing that perplexes me is that - well, the conversation between michael and beelzebub hasn't happened yet, right?

could be that there has actually been a previous conversation between michael and beelzebub, where the news that gabriel has disappeared was revealed - and what we see above is a second conversation about the matter, now that it's gotten a little more urgent (hence the BOL threat)

or, that the two different scenes are out of chronological order... which honestly would be just plain weird.

the first option is possible, that beelzebub found out about gabriel from michael in a previous conversation (and told shax), and the one we see above is a follow-up.

but, in the crowley/shax conversation, shax doesn't actually seem to know that it's anything about gabriel, just that something's going on. so presumably, beelzebub doesn't know at that point either - not until the interaction above with michael. at which point, where did shax get her information from? how would shax have known shit was going on in heaven - even without the specifics - before it seems that even beelzebub knew? does shax have a different in-road with heaven?

(at which point, the only ones that appear to know about gabriel going missing, when it happens, is the metatron, michael, uriel, and saraqael - unless there's been a containment breach/someone else accessed the file? make of that what you will.)

*coming back to this point, on why hell hasn't gotten round to, or been bothered to, update the record that crowley is no longer an employee/in his flat, i think this is directly related simply to hell being short-staffed. i think it was mentioned in a BTS video somewhere, but the set design in hell purposefully included lots of files and folders to directly suggest that there is a huge backlog; whilst the higher-ups may be aware of shax replacing crowley, it doesn't appear to have reached the administrative offices:

as for why hell is short-staffed, ive toyed with it in previous posts/rbs but it would suggest that:

demons are disappearing - im thinking along the lines of the book of life, or just straight up being killed

demons are leaving - perhaps another mass rebellion?

demons aren't leaving but the numbers of the damned keep increasing - this, i think, is the most likely.

we don't know what the deal is with heaven, but presumably there is a separate facility for heavenly souls, and all we see in the show are the offices. in any case, it would kind of make sense that, if heaven is in fact taking its fair share of souls, even if lower-choir angels are attending to them... well, it's unlikely to extremely hands-on, is it; souls can be left to their eternal rest with minimal angelic involvement.

demons, however, are actively torturing their share of souls, such as is the purpose of hell, and this is definitely more hands-on; at which point, demons are going to be overworked/understaffed as the soul population increases. demons are only made from fallen angels, so the staffing situation is only going to get worse - hence why in s1, it was revealed not only that an estimate of 10 million demons exist, but that they would be pretty pissed about being told to go back to work. armageddon was meant to wipe out humans altogether (putting a stop to the ever increasing human population and therefore number of deaths), and bring about an eternal victory for one side or the other.

this, however, assumes that heaven is taking their fair share. i don't think it's necessarily the case that they're not (as i said, we haven't actually seen any areas where human souls exist in heaven - only the higher offices), but it's certainly possible that they're not, and they're all going to hell. at which point, why wouldn't heaven want more souls? isn't that ultimately the point of aziraphale and other earth-stationed angels? to bring about god's plan, but also sway humanity to the good? or is that the point - that human souls going to heaven or hell is inconsequential, and all that matters is the complete annihilation of one by the other?

1941 shows a bit more context for hell, in that we have what appears to be the main lobby, with multiple admissions demons (including shax and furfur) and there are chutes for transport into the lower floors/departments.

one thing i did notice as a small difference between 1941 and 2023, is the lights; this could be purely ambience/a single set design choice, but compare the scene where furfur has an audience with dagon, and the crowley/beelzebub chat - the lights in latter start flickering, like they are faulty or there is a power supply issue. this not appearing to happen in 1941 would suggest that the situation has gotten worse between these two points in time. it could just be for the ambience as i said, absolutely, but i think the line re: rations* could potentially be linked here.

another thing that interested me in 1941 is this:

pretty intriguing that the camera deliberately focuses on this, right? instead of continuing to track behind furfur? if it is Of Interest, what is the hourglass keeping time in, or counting down to? it could be the apocalypse, but if you consider the proportionality of sand in the top to the bottom, vs. the time that has passed since the Beginning vs. the next 78 years until armageddon, that seems... well, disproportionate? so could it be ticking down to something else, or does the hourglass time something, and it's just been recently flipped? at which point, why is it framed as so significant?

*returning to the "half-rations" point, there has to be due credit to this post by @that-ineffable-devil, it's such a good point; what do demons care about - is integral to their existence, and is essentially in short supply - that rationing would be necessary? crowley doesn't seem overly intrigued by the notion, but shax idly considers it important enough to share when prompted. op suggested that it's power; that there isn't enough (given that miracles appear to be drawn down from heaven/up from hell) to go around. op gave the great example of the ceiling leak in s1, but if the flickering lights, the broken lift mentioned by eric in ep5, and the excess backlog of filing in s2 is also anything to go by - yeah, these things could be solved with a demonic miracle or 'magical' intervention... so why aren't they?

gabriel cautions (putting it politely) aziraphale at some point around 1793 around using up 'frivolous miracles', which suggests that heaven was/is having a similar issue (or, alternatively, it was simply a power flex; to keep aziraphale in his place, so to speak). however, when we look at the archangels' reactions to the 25-lazarii miracle, their main concern understandably, given the plot, is what it signifies (ie. it's too coincidental to have occurred at the same time as gabriel going AWOL)... but not so much that there isn't enough power to allow a 25-lazarii miracle to go unchecked. instead, it seems like the sheer scale of it is just completely written off, that heaven doesn't actually care too much about how much power it seems to have partially drawn from heaven (ie. if it's a 50/50 split, 12.5 lz), and they seem to write it off like petty cash.

so tl;dr, hell might be having a power issue, but heaven doesn't appear to be sharing in it. i don't think it's anything to do with human souls fuelling miracles, because by the same logic (which i accept may be completely flawed. in fact id stake my life it is) the pool of power should be increasing, rather than decreasing - if more and more souls are being funnelled into hell and heaven respectively. so what if instead there's a leak somewhere - what if heaven is syphoning off power from hell? and when did the power leak start happening - was it to do with the failed apocalypse? is it actually nothing to do with heaven, but instead that because the soul population keeps going up and up, the power they actually have to contain and maintain them is stretched really thin? power can't be spared for lower-priority shit like filing and maintenance? why isn't heaven having the same issue? why is power seemingly finite, and where does it come from? does power actually come from god? or does it directly parallel to humanity's faith (and, presumably, the dwindling amount of it) in god? but heaven is closer to god, so they haven't yet been hit with the shortage?

this is still flummoxing me slightly - if there even is any answer to be had/if there's anything deeper to be read here - but the post is already long enough that it's probably best to leave it there... ideas very much welcome!!!✨

[formulatrash]

at the risk of being part of the madness in your inbox, i firmly believe much of the hate for Stella, Vowles etc. comes from people who do not have experience (largely through age, i suspect) of senior leadership in effective organisations, but do have plenty of access to the extremely online concept that being polite to or about someone while being critical of them is inherently and at all times a form of abusive manipulation, and the conception of F1 teams as some sort of family rather than a highly competitive workplace.

(see for example a lot of the reaction to how Vowles spoke about Logan Sargeant to the media - the flip from "daddy Vowles and his gentle parenting" to "this is straight-up emotional abuse" as the words grew more critical but the tone changed.)

combine this kind of thinking with the profound psychological effect that lando's big brown eyes and emotional openness have on many (i am admittedly not immune), and it's easy to create a narrative in your head that he's being treated unfairly - statements like Stella's at the weekend pointing out that Lando's needed to learn and improve on weaknesses over the season morph into projections that either he or the viewers are being gaslit by Stella's apparent calm and decency.

Zak Brown's whole "McLaren family" bit definitely doesn't help with this because it's very apparent that he would be perfectly happy to sell one of his drivers to Silicon Valley for one corn chip and a shiny sticker on the front wing.

so yeah - given the choice between managers who are (a) aggressive shouty bastards that leave everyone demoralised (b) ruthless cunts who act nice then break your spirit (c) slick political operators who prioritise efficiency over growth and (d) reasonable, polite people with high expectations that make you want to live up to them, i'd go for option (c) every time, but i suspect that if you haven't had the experience of the first three types and are looking at them through the lens of non-professional relationships, it's harder to identify the behaviours or their impacts.

or i don't know, maybe i'm reading the situation completely wrong.

I think these are all good points - I do think James Vowles is an interesting outlier case amongst the quiet engineers because he's got Mercedes habits at Williams (which is interesting because eg: Stella and Mekies don't really have Ferrari habits at their teams?)

where Vowles deserves to take some heat over Sargeant is Australia. it was the wrong call to give Alex Logan's car, even if he'd scored points it was just the wrong thing to do. unfair pressure to put on Alex and just a devastating blow to Logan, from which he never really came back and that's pretty understandable. there's really no bigger vote of no confidence you can give someone than saying honestly we think it's better if you don't drive.

what he then said about Logan, as his season deteriorated, was (unfortunately) just true. it wasn't nice but it was what was happening. as someone who really rates Logan I actually wish he'd been fired earlier since being dragged across the season unable to do anything to turn things round was firstly horrible to watch and secondly is the sort of thing that has a man needing 3-4 seasons in Formula E to recover from.

[thatthoughtatthebackofyourmind]

In Defence of Albus Dumbledore:

Look. I know this is an unpopular opinion, so I’m going to write this here because putting it anywhere else (like at the bottom of the fics which have inspired this frustration) would seem mean, and it would probably end up coming off as unintentional flaming, which I would never do to anyone ever. Also, as I’m less frustrated with individual works than I am with an entire situation, it wouldn’t really be fair to direct it at one specific person.

Get ready. This is going to be very ranty and long and I can't promise not to get off topic and onto a tangent a few times.

I understand that we all have grown up a lot since first reading Harry Potter. I get that once we realized how grey a few of Dumbledore’s decisions actually and the ways in which they affected the characters we love we all felt rightfully upset.

But can we please stop being so narrowminded about it?

There are plenty of redemption fics out there. A lot of them are works that redeem characters like Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Draco’s parents, various Dursleys and loads of other people. I’ve seen fics that have Sirius confronting the realities of his juvenal behaviours and having to atone for past wrongs. I’ve even seen (but admittedly never read) fics that redeem Voldemort himself.

But the least popular person for a redemption story in fanfiction by far seems to be Albus Dumbledore.

I get it.

He was supposed to be an infallible genius who did no wrong and he let us down. But please.

Can we all please just admit that we’re using Dumbledore as a stand in?

The hatred we as a fan community levy at Dumbledore is influenced by so much more than his actions in cannon.

It’s the dissolution we feel at growing up. The need as young people to bite back at overbearing authority. It’s the conviction that leaders should never be allowed to fail if failure means the death of innocent people. Even though we can all recognize on a personal level that our failures are typically unintentional and are definitely what make us human.

Of late, it’s very clear that Dumbledore is a stand in for the betrayal we feel at JK Rowling’s anti-trans standing.

We all loved her so much.

She gave us this world.

She promised it to everyone.

And then she said that it was all a lie, and that it was never meant for some of us anyway.

The parallels are clear.

While we were first reading, we loved who Harry loved. Simply because he loved them, and we loved him.

When we grew up, we started acknowledging the ways in which the characters mirrored people in real life, and we chose the people we found the most familiar to love instead. Personally, I understand the reason I read Severitus so often is because I had a largely absent father who I idolized as a child, and that father was a bit of a rockstar like person. Dark, intelligent, and cruel when he wanted to be. Artistic, genius, condescending, and amazing.

As an adult, I still long for his love and approval. Learning that Severus was capable of so much good at the very end of his story, that he was in fact good all along, even when he looked exactly the opposite, gave me hope that my father was too. Even though I now understand that redemption for my father is just a fairy tale it’s still a story I hold close to my heart. A story I long for. It’s a possible happy ending for both a lonely child and a jaded grouchy adult.

Albus Dumbledore was different.

This was a man that we trusted to have everyone’s best intentions at heart. We were told he was safe. We were told he was the smartest man in any room. And then he failed us. And we looked back at all he had done, and rather than seeing the good he had tried to achieve, all we could see were the mistakes he had made.  

I firmly believe that the reason that so many people hate him so strongly now is because we all loved him so much first. Like Harry, we all believe that he was incapable of mistakes. His mistakes in cannon aren’t any more morally condemning than anyone else on the light side.

Keep in mind that I said, “in cannon.” I feel like I need to distinguish that. In cannon, though Harry asked if he could stay at Hogwarts during the summer, he never told Dumbledore about living in a cupboard under the stairs. His letter was addressed to there, but we have no way of knowing whether it was physically or magically written on the envelope. And besides, that letter was signed by Professor McGonagall, not Dumbledore. Harry also never mentioned to him the Dursleys withholding food. Or locking up his trunk so that he couldn’t do his homework. He made it clear that they disliked him, that they thought him a burden, but think. Really think. Dumbledore is the head of a school full of children. How many children misunderstand and exaggerate even in their own minds how much their families dislike them.

Let me be clear; when I say kids exaggerate I don’t mean in terms of abuse. I only mean typical things such as, “My mom’s always grouchy when she gets home from work and she never notices that I’ve tried really hard by cleaning the bathroom if she told me to clean the kitchen before she got home and I decided to do the bathroom because I wanted to clean it instead of doing the dishes and now she’s yelling at me that she just needs me to help her sometimes, and I don’t feel like that’s fair because really I do. Look, I cleaned the whole bathroom by myself! And I straitened up the living room too! The only thing I ‘forgot’ was the kitchen and now she’s acting like I do nothing. This means she hates me and appreciates nothing I do. I am clearly a burden to her, and I should go live under a rock so that she doesn’t have to deal with me anymore.” Really, your mom probably isn’t saying you’re a burden. Your mom is more than likely overworked, over-tired, and almost certainly depressed in a society that doesn’t cater to mental health awareness, and on top of all that she was raised by a generation that was allergic to admitting and self-regulating their true feelings so she can’t articulate that and she’s instead taking her frustrations out on you.

This is wrong, and she shouldn’t do it. But consider. Why didn’t you want to clean the kitchen? Was it because you had a long hard day at school and you’re overworked, over-tired, and definitely depressed in a world that doesn’t cater to mental health awareness, and all you really wanted was a break from the hardest job and you just wanted to compromise by doing the ones you felt emotionally and physically able to do? Because I promise, that’s probably exactly how your mom feels about the damn dirty dishes that she’s going to have to deal with before she can make dinner after being cussed out and yelled at by customers and or bosses all day in between doing her actual work and that’s the real reason she’s yelling.

Because, though a lot of teens believe otherwise, parents are still just people and the feelings that overwhelm kids still overwhelm adults just as badly. And they’re even less likely to know how to help themselves because they didn’t grow up with the internet where everyone shares their feeling and gets back validation and advice, so they mostly just believed those feelings were personal failings that indicated something broken specifically only in them and that they should learn to live with it and never tell anyone ever because complaining is for babies and liberals. Okay, maybe that last bit is a little too specific to my own mother, but you get the idea.

It’s a cycle that’s been going on for years. Hopefully, we can eventually all learn how to communicate peacefully and compromise on chores sometimes so we can end it someday. Or everyone can just switch to paper plates, and then we’ll worry about how we’re killing the planet later and no one will have to do the dishes ever again.

The point is, while that isn’t the best parenting style, and it can cause issue’s with your familial relationship as you age, it isn’t technically abuse. And it especially wouldn’t be considered abuse in the 90’s while Harry Potter was taking place or the early 00’s when it was being published.

Harry was not bruised when he arrived at Hogwarts. He didn’t show obvious outward signs of abuse. He never told any adults what his life was like at the Dursleys at all. He really didn’t even say much about it to Ron or Hermione either. Mrs. Weasley sent him treats for his birthday, which was a sweet motherly gesture. Hermione and Hagrid did as well but think about it. Do you believe for a second that if Molly have-another-serving, can-I-get-you-some-more-bread, try-the-potatoes Weasley honestly thought the Dursley’s were starving Harry that she would first wait until the end of July to send Harry anything, and then only send him sweets? She would scale the Dursleys’ house and stuff a full six course meal through the bars multiple times a day before she let that boy live off stale birthday cake. When she asked if the Dursley had fed him enough she meant it in the same way she always meant it, in the if ‘I can feed the world I can love the world’ way.

 Hagrid sent him rock cakes, but again, think about it. Hagrid had shown up with a cake for Harry’s birthday the day he first delivered the letter when he couldn’t have yet known of the way Harry was treated. He just wanted to show Harry he was loved and missed.

Of the people who sent him food, only Hermione really knew Harry didn’t get to eat his fill at the Dursley’s and she still only sent cake because all she knew was that he was being forced to diet with Dudley. Which is why she sent him the kind of food one would eat if they weren’t on a diet instead of true sustenance. A fourth of a grapefruit as a meal is not a diet, no matter what Petunia called it. And if he had told Hermione specifics, she likely would have told Harry that, but again, he didn’t tell anyone specifics.

 Everyone knew that Harry was unfavoured by the Dursley’s and that they wouldn’t be celebrating his birthday, and he wouldn’t receive cake or presents, but they really didn’t know much else. Ron and Hermione only understood he was being starved in the way most naive well-fed kids from happy families can understand. It sounded cruel, and they did try to tell people, but because they didn’t understand the full gravity of the situation, they couldn’t properly communicate to trusted adults that Harry was actually experiencing abuse. Plus, Harry tended to downplay it even to them.

When Dumbledore speaks about knowing Harry would come from a less than happy home, you can tell he is picturing a world where Harry is liked second best to his cousin. Where he never feels fully at home. Like an overextended visitor in a relative’s house. He thinks they’ll treat him like the weird cousin who came to stay and never left rather than an immediate family member.

He isn’t picturing Petunia Dursley slinging a frying pan at Harry’s head. Or refusing to let him drink his fill of water on a hot summer’s day spent weeding her ridiculous flower garden. Or an overly restrictive diet enforced on an already undernourished body simply to make Harry’s morbidly obese cousin feel better about his doctor changing his eating habits.

I think we’ll all agree that feeling less than welcome by stuck up relatives sucks, but it’s better than whatever Voldemort’s loyal leftover followers will do to him if they manage to track down the person responsible for their dark lord’s downfall.

I understand why a lot of people feel like Dumbledore should have just put Harry under the Fidelius Charm and hid him rather than sending him to the Dursley’s but consider: If Dumbledore trusted Sirius the way he must have done to not betray James and his family, then it makes sense that he felt Fidelius was no longer an option. He fully believed Sirius was the secret keeper. Sirius, the Potters, and Pettigrew were the only ones to know of the change. It’s likely that after learning that the Death Eaters had convinced Sirius to betray the Potters he was jaded enough to take it as a sign that no one could be a trusted Secret Keeper. No matter how much they loved the person under protection.

He also likely would have insisted on a trial for Sirius had Sirius himself not told everyone that he was the one who killed James and Lily while descending into hysterical laughter. We know what Sirius meant, (he felt responsible for them dying because switching to Peter at the last minute had been his idea) because we read the third Harry Potter book, but Dumbledore didn’t have that same advantage. All he had was the word of an apparently mad man. A man who had just tracked down another dear friend and apparently killed him and 12 innocent bystanders in a fit of insanity.

Why, when last he had heard Sirius was the Secret Keeper, would he doubt a verbal confession from a man who did nothing to try and save himself from Azkaban? The Marauders never told anyone of their animagus abilities. No one but Sirius could have understood what Peter had done. Why do we expect Dumbledore to have known better?

So, instead of Fidelius and hiding Harry away for his entire childhood, he gave him the best protection he could think of under the circumstances he had been given. He sought to give Harry a normal life and to keep him safe from the remaining Death Eaters.

Dumbledore understood that fame was power, and that power could corrupt even the best of people with the strongest of minds, so he kept Harry away from the limelight. He also understood how fickle people where about fame. This was the right decision even if the Dursley were a bad choice in guardians. We saw proof of this numerous times while Harry was at school. His fame only ever seemed to bring him more hardships. In book two they said Harry was a dark wizard because he was a Parselmouth and that that’s how he overpowered Voldemort. In book four even some of Harry’s friends refused to believe he wasn’t just a glory hound and that it hadn’t been him who entered his name in the tournament, but rather someone trying to kill him. In book five, almost everyone refused to believe Harry was telling the truth about Voldemort’s return. Every single time Harry’s name entered the limelight, it was in a way that harmed him. Imagine how much earlier it would have started had he grown up in the wizarding world. They would have been debating his kindergarten finger paintings if they could have.  

Why does the entire fandom also assume that Dumbledore thought of himself as the wisest most all-knowing man in any room? The only people who canonically acted like they believed that about him were the Golden Trio, and they were enlightened otherwise multiple times throughout the books as they grew up. Just as everyone learns new truths about trusted adults they thought of as perfect as they grow.

The fact is, Albus Dumbledore has always been just a man.

He was a great and powerful but flawed man who wanted more than anything to make sure that evil could not prevail. He obviously still holds plenty of shame and guilt over his dealings with Gellert Grindelwald in his misspent youth. We have surmised that when he looked in the Mirror of Erised he likely saw his sister Ariana, or something as equally heart-breaking which he recognized as his own fault. He fully understood that he was just a man. He encouraged everyone to understand that fact about Voldemort as well.

He was not a god, and he didn’t pretend to be.

Not in cannon anyway.

Fanon Dumbledore, on the other hand, tends to be anything from a meddling idiot to a full on manipulative dark lord complete with moustache twirling and nefarious intent. Which, I believe, further influences and enforces the fandom’s collective bad opinion of him. Most of us haven’t reread the real books in years. It gets hard to remember at some points what was something he did in canon vs. what was something he did in fanfiction.

 Every other character seems welcomed to grow in the world of fandom.

Severus was canonically a willing Death Eater in his youth, a bully to children in his care in his adulthood, and a petty grudge-holder who couldn’t let go of the past. We accept that we can’t fully know how much of his behaviour towards the students was an act to fool the Death Eater’s children, but we can assume it definitely wasn’t all of it. Still, he gets plenty of redemption fics. He had literal access to Harry’s traumatic childhood memories but still saw no signs of abuse because he was too busy trying to keep a 15-year-old child from gaining any ammunition about his own past.

Looking back, it seems obvious that as very few of Harry’s childhood memories were shown in the Occlumency scenes, he likely wasn’t as bad at clearing his mind as either he or Snape assumed, but it was also possible that Severus didn’t see those memories because that wasn’t what he was looking for. The memory of Harry getting chased up a tree by Marge’s dog as the rest of his family watched and laughed should have triggered at least a couple of red flags, but Severus was typically determined to only see the bad in Harry, so he overlooked it.

James Potter who is often thought of as the better choice for Lily was also a bully. And he spent years relentlessly pursuing a relationship with someone who had never given him any indication that his advances were welcome and had in fact outright told him the exact opposite of that many times until he finally wore her down and convinced her to give him a shot. That’s gross, unacceptable behaviour but I guess it is technically better than dating a budding racist that sees you as the exception to his views on your people, so James is rebranded as a lovable hero who changed after having a slightly misspent youth rather than a mean spirited bully who likely grew bored with his main target once he no longer saw him as competition (there would have been no reason to bully Snape if Lily wasn’t friends with him anymore after 5th year which was conveniently around the time he began to “grow up”) as well as a pushy loser who wouldn’t take no for an answer even though Lily said it multiple times. (There’s also the point that once Snape knew about Lupin being a werewolf, James likely wouldn’t have bullied him anymore so as not to provoke Snape to reveal the secret and get Lupin thrown out of school and possibly killed.)

Ron told Molly outright that the Dursley’s were starving Harry and had fixed bars on his windows to trap him after weeks of being concerned when he didn’t reply to Ron’s letters, and she still ignored it, assuming instead that Ron was exaggerating and never even tried to check with Harry to learn that he wasn’t.

Remus spent a year teaching Harry individualized lessons to repel Dementors and never once asked him why he was so sad that they affected him in ways that none of the other students experienced. I mean really, he couldn’t have been the only orphan attending that school so Remus couldn’t have thought it was just that. And Neville’s backstory was nearly just as sad (and just as well known to Remus) and even he didn’t faint like Harry. Yet, he didn’t question Harry once.

Sirius (who is also a bully and a petty grudge-holder) never wondered why a child would want to move in with an escaped prisoner who he had never met before that had just mangled his best friend’s leg and tried to commit murder in front of him instead of the relatives he had been with his entire life. Even when until that very night he had believed that prisoner wanted to kill him?

Arthur actually met the Dursley’s and saw Vernon’s rage at magic when he came to collect Harry for the Quidditch World Cup and he still questioned nothing.

Half the Order found Harry locked inside his bedroom with locks affixed to the outside of the door, and all they did was give vague unfulfilled threats to Vernon and send Harry back. You could blame that on Dumbledore, but I think that’s ridiculous. They were not under Imperious. They made their own decisions. Every adult there had a responsibility to that child, and they all failed him individually.

Yet time and time again I see Dumbledore condemned so overwhelmingly in the very fics that redeem and or absolve these other characters of those very actions.

Even McGonagall, who knew from the start that the Dursleys were awful people, never pulled Harry aside as his head of house and asked him anything about his home life. And, as I stated earlier, her name was the one on the letter addressed to the cupboard under the stairs. She also made it very clear that she wasn’t someone for Harry to confide in by constantly dismissing any concerns he presented her. The way she reacted about the Stone was ridiculous. And her non-concern over the amount of detentions Harry received from Umbridge followed by the ‘have a biscuit’ scene rubbed me the wrong way. And yet, of late she seems to be revered in the fandom community as some kind of badass grandmotherly character. All because she protested one time about leaving Harry with the Dursleys and then never brought it up again.

It’s getting a bit ridiculous. I’m exhausted by the way the fan community continues to rewrite cannon to fit their dissatisfaction with our once trusted role-model JK Rowling through Harry Potter’s once trusted mentor Albus Dumbledore.

Just once I would like to read a Harry Potter fic without having to think about the various ways in which JK Rowling let us all down. And with everyone rewriting Dumbledore as the ‘real villain all along’ I can’t help but be taken out of the fic and forced to relate it to reality.

[toomuchracket]

matty seeing girlie *politely and professionally* cuss someone out in her lawyer mindset and it rlly gets him going

OOH OOH one time vee @abiiors and i talked about you and matty getting called into the school because elena punched a boy in the face because he was bullying her big sister - matty gets there first and has to listen to this obnoxious dad be like "your daughter broke my son's nose (she did not) i want discipline", all the while thinking Just You Wait Until My Wife Gets Here.

he swoons when you rock up in your work clothes and your heels (red lip optional but it would be so cunty i fear), and does his best not to smirk while you sit through listening to this fucking awful excuse for a father complain about how his son is an angel and would never do anything wrong and your daughters are feral and should be expelled with a raised eyebrow and folded arms, because he knows you're about to tear this arsehole a new one. you do, but in a lawyerly way; you literally pull handouts from your bag for everyone like "email transcripts from the past six weeks, detailing the problems your supposed angel of a child has ben causing my eldest daughter, beginning with a note from their class teacher to apologise for the bruising dylan came home with after he deliberately pushed her off a swing set and to inform us he would be duly disciplined in class, and hopefully at home too, as the email had been sent to you and your family as well. the rest of the transcripts are emails from myself to the class and head teachers, explaining that dylan has since been scared to go to school due to further bullying, and asking if something could be done about this rapidly escalating situation. i don't necessarily condone my younger daughter's actions, although i am proud of her for standing up for her sister, but if you had bothered to deal with your child's behaviour before now then she wouldn't have had to resort to violence to stop her older sister being targeted". the headteacher is (rightfully) mortified, the man is IRATE, and matty's not sure he's ever fancied you more in his life. and then he has to rescind that, because the man tries to pull the "oh, i'm sure my son's only acting like that because he fancies her!" card, and you just say "children learn behaviours, though - you implying that your son equates affection with violence also implies someone in the immediate family thinks so, too. in that case, maybe best to get social work involved. i'm sure they'd be very interested to hear that" - he's spluttering out denials (which don't sound too convincing), and you just stand up and say "i think we're done here. we'll speak to elena about her methods of tackling injustice. and i hope your son's bruising isn't too severe - we can testify from dylan's that arnica ointment helps, though. have a good weekend" and grab matty and leave. he keeps it together until you pick up the girls and take them home, and then he distracts them by putting spongebob on before he pulls you into the utility room and just kisses you until you're lightheaded; he pulls away like "i love you i'm in awe of you and you're so hot that if i don't go down on you in the next two minutes i might die. i'm not even kidding like you ended that stupid cunt. ENDED. sexiest fucking thing i've ever seen. please for the love of god let me make you cum" lol. you're like "you've only got eight minutes until the episode ends and the girls start wandering", and matty lifts you onto the counter and says "plenty of time" and yeah he's right he gets you off with time to spare. i do think the girls are maybe sent off on a last minute sleepover at uncle george's that night, though, lmao, so matty can show his appreciation of you a bit more thoroughly in peace. hot <3

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

Midnight Roses (4)

This fic contains canon-typical violence and behaviours, manipulation, mentions of death, murder, orphans, pain, blood, blood drinking, torture, memory manipulation, prison, and criminals.

Chapter 4

“I am curious to hear your assessment regarding Bella Swan.”  Athenadora uttered that same afternoon.

You opened your mouth only to close it with a smirk decorating your lips, “I could tell you now and our eavesdropper would only listen to the conversation or we could include our visitor in the conversation so we have plenty of perspective.”

Athenadora grinned wolfishly, “Come out eavesdropper.  There’s no point in hiding anymore!”

A blond, curly-haired, lanky vampire stepped into view.  It took you some time to remember who he was.  Then it clicked.  This vampire was Jasper Hale, the youngest of the clan and the one that Aro told you about who struggled the most with the Cullens’ animal diet.  Aro had gone on to explain that it wasn’t due to lack of self-control but Jasper’s struggle with the diet was due to the fact that his gift was sensing and manipulating emotions.  Since emotions were affected by hormones that travelled in the bloodstream, it made sense that Jasper would have more difficulty controlling his desire for human blood than the other vampires in Forks.

“I did not intend to eavesdrop,” Jasper stated solemnly with his hands clasped behind his back.  His posture was stiff and he spoke in a formal tone.

“Sit.”  Athenadora ordered.

At the same time, you and Jasper sat down in the comfy chairs that furnished the room.

“Your assessment?” Athenadora prodded as she too sat.

“Bella has demonstrated that she is willing to learn and to be taught,” you stated, massaging the palm of one hand with the thumb on the opposite hand.  Your eyes darted over to Jasper who maintained his stiff posture while seated. 

“However, centuries of bias and prejudice will be difficult to overcome even if the participants are willing.  If the participant isn’t open to change, there is a high probability that their lack of willingness will negatively affect those around them.  It may result in Bella’s progress becoming stunted and she could even regress to her previous manner of thinking.”

Athenadora pursed her lips.  Both she and Jasper understood that you were referring to Edward and Alice when you said ‘participant’, “I was thinking along the same lines.  It’s not just Edward that we are concerned about but your mate, Alice, as well.”  She directed her second sentence to Jasper.

“My mate cares deeply for Bella.  That is both her strength and her weakness.  She can be easily convinced to choose a certain path when Bella is at the centre.  Once someone has decided on a course of action, Alice will then have visions of that outcome.”

“Which is how she convinced Aro to let them leave when they visited Volterra the first time.”  Athenadora observed.

“In the past, Alice has found that technique to be effective.”  Jasper revealed before examining you, “I can imagine that while Bella listened to your explanations, there were times when she reacted negatively due to the amount and content of information she was receiving.”

“I had my doubts about how Bella would respond to the information that I revealed.  She definitely had some strong opinions about a few of the topics but I don’t think that Rosalie’s presence during the conversation helped the situation.”

Jasper frowned, “The two do not get along.  We were all changed out of necessity and Rosalie believes that Bella is squandering her chances at a human life to be with Edward.  When we left Forks, I heard whispers that Bella wants to become a vampire and then Alice told me of the vision that she showed Great King Aro in the throne room.  Edward is reluctant to change her.”

“That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one.”  Athenadora grimaced, “It also explains the control he has over her.”

“If your family had a vote, what course of action would you take?  Would you change Bella into a vampire?”

“There was a vote before we were brought here.  The majority of our family voted to change her into a vampire.  Two of our family did not.  We didn’t know the extent of Edward’s manipulative behaviour then.”

“And now that you do?  Would you change your answer?”

“I voted yes because Bella being a vampire would be a nice change and I wouldn’t feel the need to attack her.”  He deadpanned.

You weren’t sure whether Jasper was joking or not. 

“That reason is quite shallow and selfish of you.”  Athenadora chastised.

Jasper remained focused on Athenadora.  You could see the micro expressions chasing each other across his face before it became stony.

“And what of you Major?  Do you support Jasper’s decision to change Bella?”

When Jasper spoke, his voice once again held that undertone.  “Jasper overruled me in his decision.”  The Major bit out.  “Bella’s wish to become a vampire is rooted in her desire to remain with Edward.  Following our unexpected journey to Volterra and the reveal of information along with Bella being exposed to different perspectives, I am not aware if that longing has subsided or grown.  Prior to becoming involved with Edward, she had no understanding of the dangers of our world.  Her infatuation with Edward has opened her eyes to the dangers yet I believe that she wants to become a vampire in order to handle situations on our level.”

A familiar form appeared in a flash of green and the Major’s posture shifted once again.  Somehow, without fully understanding how you knew it, you knew that Jasper was in control again.

“The three of you need to get to the throne room now!”  Claymore urged, “The Kings are preparing to kill Edward Cullen.”

[theonevoice]

Rumination n. 4 – On Aziraphale, sacrifice and guilt (another bold hypothetical)

I feel like we've been almost only considering the tragedy of the Fall from Crowley's point of view (it's obvious why), but I would really like if in s3 we get to see the battle before the Fall (the big missing event between what we have seen in the s1 and s2 prologues) and learn something about how Aziraphale experienced that moment. So I started wondering what kind of situation would be in character for the two man-shaped entities we know, being at the same time relevant enough to deserve to occupy a prologue (that is, to open our collective third eye about some new underlayer of this millennia-long cursed relationship). And then, one specific thought popped into my empty brain, and I went down a rabbit hole.

One aspect of Aziraphale character that I have never seen discussed per se is his attachment to his identity as an angel. There is plenty of wonderfully insightful takes about how this attachment influences his behaviour (to Crowley and in general), but why is he so attached in the first place? What if there is something other than fear of punishment in his oh so painful obsession with preserving his angelic status? What makes it so precious to him? If Gabriel so readily dropped his role of Supreme Archangel to be with Beelzebub, why is Aziraphale so obsessed? Is it really only a weird metaphore for "class struggle", reminding us that powerful élites get to do whatever they want while the little people must abide by even the stupidest rules?

What if Aziraphale's rank of principality is particularly dear to him for a personal reason? We know that angels get promoted or demoted and not created with a fixed role. What if he earned his during the great war of Heaven? But would the Aziraphale we know be the kind of "soldier" able to win a title in battle?

I think it is not entirely absurd to imagine that Aziraphale didn't want to go to battle at all and was forced to by other angels. That coul explain why in s1 he is, for once, so strong and determined when he tells the Quartermaster angel that he has "no intention of fighting in any war". Consider how remissive he tends to be with other angelic entities throughout the series: he is uncharacteristicly resolute here. It almost looks like he was setting a non-negotiable boundary here. 

Maybe Crowley is not the only one traumatized by what happened. Maybe after being forced to go into war, Aziraphale also experienced something terrible, a moment that scarred him forever. What could that be? Here it comes another bold hypothetical.

Maby he and soon-to-be Crowley run into each other and realize they both don't want to fight. Maybe they are on the verge of developing the unfathomable thought of running away together from the battlefield. Maybe they almost try but keep getting separated by crushing waves of opposite legions. Maybe they finally manage to step away from the thick of the fight, but other angels surround them before they can even discuss what to do next. Maybe Crowley is struck by the unbearable cruelty and absurdity of what is going on and decides to protect the only pure, gentle, and actually good angel he knows from harm. So maybe he pretends that Aziraphale just captured him and let them take him away and put him with the other defeated angels. And for his achievement Aziraphale earns a promotion to principality that will forever remind him of that horrific moment, of how he could not find the courage to tell the truth and say something in Crowley's defense. 

Maybe this is why he is so obsessively attached to his place in Heaven, because someone he loved sacrificed himself in order to preserve it for him. Maybe this is why he is so fixated on the unspeakable desire to bring Crowley back to Heaven, not just as a compensation for a generic cosmic injustice but as atonement for his own fault. 

Maybe this is his side of the trauma. 

Maybe this is why, whenever he is in a state of emotional pressure, he tends to fall back on his black and white, "you are the bad guys, we are the nice ones" pattern of behavior. Because actual - clinical - trauma prompts the traumatize mind to deploy self-defense strategies, and if I can convince myself that you were evil all along, then I am not guilty of letting them catch you. 

(I still believe it would be interesting if Crowley actually "didn't really fall," but he willingly chose to leave Heaven - but I've already rambled on about it long enough here, and the two scenarios could even be compatible if my math is correct).

Maybe this is also why, when dispatched on Earth, he does so poor of a job (by Heaven's standards, of course). Because trauma also causes self-sabotaging behaviours leaning on the deep unconscious belief that you don't deserve to succeed and never will. How could you ever deserve to succeed if the accomplishment that gave you your very rank of principality - the word that defines who you are in Heaven's books - was a lie?

Maybe this is what makes the dialogue at the end of the Job minisode - and all the other bits of dialogue that he have on the same topic - so dramatic and tragic: Aziraphale needs to convince himself that he is worthy of the sacrifice that preserved his angelic status, and finding himself lacking in that department would activate the most devastating guilt. And even more he needs to convince Crowley of it, to prove to him (even if he probably doesn't remember it) that he didn't sacrifice himself for a fraud. He doesn't need to be an angel because he likes it, but because it was the identity that the angel who hung the stars bought him with his damnation.

Maybe this is why he shows such a pathological conduct about forgiveness and forgiving. Because under all the many, many layers of denial he believes that he is the one that has to be forgiven, but doesn't know how to ask for it, being afraid that he could be, in fact, unforgivable.

It is entirely unsupported speculation, of course, but imagine what it would mean if Aziraphale angelic identity was "stained" by such a gigantic deception, his "original sin," and he spent 6000 years in full impostor syndrome mode, repressing the thought of his unworthiness. Not out of fear of Heaven but out of fear of being a disappointment to the angel that Crowley was once (and that demon Crowley constantly reminds him of). Maybe Aziraphale has spent his entire existence telling himself that he had the duty to repay this enormous, secret debt by being the most irreprehensible angel ever, only to have this plan thwarted by the tempting presence of none other than Crowley himself. The most cruel temptation of all. Imagine being torn between the joy of misbehaving with the entity you love and the duty to be irreproachable, not for Heaven, but for the unspoken obligation that (you believe) this same entity put on you a long time ago.

It would mean that Aziraphale's struggle is not between his love for Crowley and his allegiance to Heaven, but between his love for Crowley and his obligation to (past) him. It would be not "I cannot love you because I am afraid of losing my place in Heaven," but "I cannot love you because if I lose my place in Heaven, I will have wasted your sacrifice and failed you again." It would be the tragedy of renouncing the happiness of being together with the person you love because you convinced yourself that that same person, when he saved your place in Heaven, implicitly gave you a mission that denies that happiness. "I cannot love you because if I do, I will betray you in the worst possible and most unforgivable way." "I cannot love you because you wanted me to be a good angel, and good angels don't allow themselves to love demons." "I cannot love you because you chained me to the duty not to." It would be tragic in the "classical tragedy" meaning of the word, like in Antigone by Sophocles (that Aziraphale actually namedrops in the 1941 flashback), where the main character is torn between two conflicting moral laws and cannot move without infringing on one of the two. But with the extra pain of having both laws coming from the same person and the person in question actively trying to pull you away from that (self-)imposed lawfulness in the meantime.

Honestly, by this point this is more a fanfiction than a speculation, but it would give us an explanation for why Aziraphale decided to take the Metatron's offer specifically after Crowley's reaction to the opportunity of being an angel again (when he leaves the Metatron, he tells him "you don't have to answer immediately. Take all the time you need", which means that he didn't say no, but he also didn't say yes). In this scenario, he is so excited for the prospect of restoring Crowley to his angelic status because he still pins his Fall on himself. The idea makes him so happy not because he wants to be together in Heaven (it's hard to imagine that he wants to go live there or doesn't know that Crowley is not interested) but because this would extinguish his imaginary debt and allow him to leave the cage where he held himself hostage for 6000 years. The cage that prevented him from getting to close to a demon. With Crowley restored as angel, Aziraphale would be "off the hook," and they could finally "go off together." He would not feel chained to his heavenly rank anymore. It's not "come back to Heaven so I will not be trouble by our love," it's "come back to Heaven so you I will be relieved of the duty of being worthy of my rank and be free to be the kind of questionable angel that can love a demon." 

It's only when Crowley refuses to go back - and only then - that Aziraphale feels definitely compelled to take the role of Supreme Archangel. If his moral duty to be a worthy angel cannot be erased, it must be paid entirely. And the payment is sticking with the responsibility that he thinks Crowley gave him, to live up to his rank of principality, to do good and, even better, to "make a difference," which, in his mind, would be the ultimate way to honour that never forgotten sacrifice, sacrificing himself in return.

[thearcher1003]

My turn to ask you some questions :)

3,5,7,8,15,17,18,23,24,26,31,35,42 and 43

3. Yes I like pasta!

5. Yeah kinda yeah 😅

7. No, sadly I never learnt :(

8. Yes, I have had plenty of water. My throat gets extra parched in rainy weather for some reason.

15. Weirdest thing that happened to me? I can't think of anything immediately. I have made a lot of situations weird because of my behaviour but that's not the question. I'll come back to it if I can think of something.

17. There is this cartoon show called 'Krish, Trish and Baltiboy' that aired on weekends only. These three characters were a cat, a monkey and a donkey who narrated folk stories through different folk styles of visual art. It was my absolute favourite show.

18. No, video games look cool but I don't have any :(

23. silly, nervous, caring, confused, smol

24. In the past few years I have learned that I have developed this pattern of working only under extreme pressure which is really bad. And it gets worse now that I am aware of it and still don't act upon it. So now I am like calm and keep thinking "why am I not getting stressed? I should be getting stressed. I need to get work done." But nothing works.

26. Yes, I do. It's a vast vast universe. We can't be the only living beings here.

31. No, thankfully I have never been bit by a dog or any animal for that matter.

35. I am good with literature and creative writing to some extent.

42. Earphones

43. I remember a lot from my childhood. My mother is a teacher. At the time I was born, she was employed in a school that was in a different city than the one we live in so my mother and I (and a roommate whom I developed a close affinity with) used to live as paying guests near that school. I remember how that flat used to look like. I remember the shop there from which we purchased a hippo soap case that I still use and the ankle length hair of a girl in that shop who was probably the shop owner's daughter. I remember the tiny ditch that my aunty (the roommate mentioned before) helped me skip on the way to school and how she would give me a flower for it saying that I was brave like a knight for crossing that large ditch. I remember we were going on a vacation around my 4th birthday. We were in a train at 12 am on my birthday so we were gonna cut the cake there, but my father ordered a 2kg cake instead of a 2-pound cake so we shared that cake with a lot of people in our train compartment. I also remember the same nightmare I used to have in that flat and how I never had it again when we moved to our current house when I was 6. I could go on and on but lets stop here cause it's getting unnecessarily long so sorry for that > <

Thank you for sending the asks, I loveee answering them <333

[merryfortune]

I Scream for Ice-Cream but You Scream For Me

Written for the Rarest of Rare Pairs Fic-a-thon on Dreamwidth

Prompt: Any: Any/Any(+) - Sticky situation

Title: I Scream for Ice-Cream but You Scream For Me

Ship: Sharena/Nerþuz

Fandom: Fire Emblem Heroes

Rating: M

Word Count: 1,675

Warnings: Choose Not to Warn

Tags: Food Kink, Food Play, Sexual Content, Smut, Consent Issues, Kissing, Groping, Licking, Size Difference, Inappropriate Behaviour, Semi-Public Lewdness, 

   Always dress for the appropriate occasion!

   Sharena had been told that over and over again since she was a child. 

   She had always been something of a ball of energy, hard to direct into practical means and typically a little clumsy. Sharena had plenty of fond memories of being scolded by her mother for what she wore and what she did in her clothes. Whether it was for dragging her good and pretty little dresses through the mud or trying to argue that she ought to wear her play clothes to a fancy dress gala, Sharena had been a handful. Her Mother’s ire made her chuckle in recollection but her wisdom continued to be pertinent.

   For example, her work clothes which marked her as the heroine princess of the Order of Heroes was not appropriate beachwear. Even if she had foregone her armour and scarf upon learning the agenda for the day.

   Waking up, putting on her clothes, Sharena paid no attention to if it truly matched the day’s intentions. It was a day in, day out humdrum beat of her schedule. Perfectly normal so she wanted to wear something which was comfortable and practical. Even if it ended up being a “take the day off and go check on the new Heroes who are celebrating all things fun in the sun” kind of day and Sharena thought… Yippee! Too easy! She loved the beach and she only had to say hello. After that she could do anything she liked and she thought maybe she would enjoy having an ice treat from the side lines.

   Yes, well, about that…

   Just as much as Sharena hadn’t thought about what she was going to put on to wear today, she had thought equally as little about how she was going to take it off. Wrongly assuming it would occur closer to her bedtime rather than the middle of the day.

   Five new Heroes had rolled up for a wonderful beach day: Olivia, Hríd, Gullveig paired with Seiðr, and oh… Nerþuz!

   It was always lovely to see Nerþuz, of course. Even if Sharena was, ahem, very surprised to see Nerþuz in such… little clothing. But this was a beach, it would make sense for her to wear swimwear. The colour and cut of said fabrics really suited her, however, not that Sharena was examining her or anything. Just an innocent and harmless observation.

   Honestly, wearing a swimsuit and chat about the warm, balmy weather was one of the more normal things Nerþuz had ever done in Sharena’s presence, actually.

    Things had been off to a strange start with her, Sharena would be the first and fastest to say, but she now considered Nerþuz to be a dear friend. She was a little eccentric, yes, but seeing how she was able to get Olivia out of her shell was proof that deep down, Nerþuz had a heart of gold. Her head was just a little in the clouds.

   With the other Heroes greeted, Sharena happily allowed herself to get drawn into Nerþuz’s infamous atmosphere. She was so peculiarly easy-going and relaxed with a certain charm to her, a glint in her eye, she was utterly alluring vision of the summertime divine in this instance. So, Sharena kept yap, yap, yapping with Nerþuz whilst the other Heroes opted to socialise amongst themselves or with the Summoner. 

   Sharena had all of Nerþuz’s attention and vice-versa. Which made sense since Nerþuz had something that she wanted to show Sharena.

   “Tada!” Nerþuz said. “Isn't it cute? I have been wanting to show it to you all afternoon.”

   “Wow, it's me.” Sharena gawked at the ice-cream that Nerþuz had thrust closer to her.

   A very strange and one of a kind ice-cream given that it was imbued with a certain power to allow Nerþuz’s transformation in battle but still an ordinary ice-cream in that it was, well, ice-cream. A chilly treat perfect for a warm afternoon, vanilla soft serve piled high inside of a thick paper cone and dusted with raspberry sherbert. The curves of the ice-cream were adorned with crunchy, edible pearls that shone in the sunshine, a berry flavoured madeleine, and a sugar cookie which looked just like Sharena.

   “It's so well-painted, it looks too good to eat.” Sharena laughed.

   “Indeed.” Nerþuz agreed. “But, it is very tasty.”

   She ever so elegantly plucked the sugar cookie off its perch atop one of the mid-to-lower curves of her ice-cream cone. She was ever so careful as to not touch the cookie in a way that her fingers never obscured Sharena’s face in the painted cookie. Such care, portrayed ever so effortlessly by Nerþuz, made Sharena nervous. And rightfully so.

   Nerþuz put the biscuit towards her mouth and she bit hard through it. The face of the Sharena cookie shattered, spooking the actual Sharena as Nerþuz ate coyly. She cared not for crumbs as they scattered over her plump lips and even atop her breasts. 

   A shiver ran down Sharena’s spine as she made long and sultry, sustained eye contact with Sharena. She chewed, like the masticating animal she really was beneath her unearthly glamour as a goddess then swallowed lasciviously. Sharena watched as her throat showed a slight lump as it travelled down before she smacked her lips together contentedly.

   “It makes me curious though, is the real deal as delicious as it?” Nerþuz wondered aloud as she finished swallowing.

   “Ah, well, um-!” Sharena squeaked as Nerþuz surprised her.

   She swooped in and kissed Sharena’s cheek. She bent down and swallowed all of Sharena’s vision, causing her to go red in the face. Her lips trailed against Sharena’s skin, even the pale hairs along her jawline and made them stand on end as a sudden intensity spurred between them.

   “Mmhm,” Nerþuz murmured to herself, “just as sweet but… so much softer, oops-”

   Nerþuz interrupted herself as she oh so accidentally got ice-cream all down Sharena’s front. She had to bend down so far to meet Sharena, a mere child of Midgard, and then acting like a child herself, she purposefully worked the ice-cream into Sharena’s clothes - and her body underneath.

   “Hey, st-stop it, that’s cold.” Sharena squeaked, embarrassed. “Wh-What if someone sees us?”

   Shiver after shiver ran down her spine as her body reacted to being touched like this and being smothered in freezing cold ice-cream. It smeared down her front and with the mess guided by Nerþuz’s hand, the sticky sweet cream found its way onto her skin as well. 

   “That’s okay,” Nerþuz whispered, “I’ll clean you up. No one will even notice.” Her voice was silky smooth as she tried to console Sharena who buzzed with all sorts of pent-up, nervous energy.

   Sharena tried to lean away but Nerþuz followed her, utterly unfazed. She got up nice and close and personal with Sharena, licking her intently and kissing her afterwards. 

   The meeting of their lips was messy, a clash of mismatched and engulfed Sharena in how ravenous Nerþuz was in her pursuit of all things sweet. Her lips were plump and greedy, she stole Sharena’s breath away as she was kissed and kissed again. Nerþuz’s taste was stained with the sweet sensations of vanilla ice-cream and flecked with buttery crumbs. It would have been delicious were it not so forceful but Nerþuz wanted what she wanted and what she wanted above all was Sharena.

   Sharena buckled underneath her own embarrassment and closed her eyes hard. She was entirely unconvinced that none of the other Heroes wouldn’t notice her being all but molested by Nerþuz in the shade of the far tree at the north of the beach. Sure, all of them had gone further down the shoreline in search of the Summoner but still! It's not like they were completely alone out here even if the seagulls had ceased their crowing in this part of paradise. 

   Nerþuz began to unwrap Sharena from her clothes. Sharena shimmied out of them in some vain attempt at helping. Or if only to get the smashed to smithereens madeleine crumbs off her or the pearls now lost in the folds of her clothes. Nerþuz pulled and grabbed and groped at her, Sharena moaned lewdly as she was manhandled by the goddess.

   With her white shirt pulled off and tossed into the sand around them, Sharena only had her mini-skirt for chastity. Oh, it made her knees knock. The beach breeze tickled her and caused her nipples to pebble underneath her bra but her bra came off soon as well. Completely bare, if she hazarded a look down at herself and Nerþuz, Sharena saw the extent of how she had been painted in ice-cream.

   It was soaked in and smeared between her small breasts. It left a sticky residue on her but it wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, just humiliating. What if someone saw? The pair of them looked an unusual sight with Nerþuz coming down to her knees and placing herself at Sharena’s chest height, licking her clean of the mess that she had made of the mortal.

   The late afternoon heat intensified through the lens of Sharena’s reddened embarrassment, causing the ice-cream smeared on her to melt faster than it may have otherwise. The sherbert once powdered atop the soft serve now tingled upon her skin and Nerþuz licked it all up with sexual glee. Her tongue was textured with an unusual and inhuman roughness but Nerþuz appeared mindful of that as she was gentle with how she used her tongue. She appreciated the softness - and the sweetness - of Sharena’s body and the ice-cream, too. 

   Nerþuz lapped at Sharena’s chest incessantly, with her eyes alight with hunger. She sucked Sharena’s left nipple noisily and pinched her right, massaging Sharena’s small breast with the rest of her palm that cupped her flesh. Sharena panted, her heart raced and her earnestness made Nerþuz’s dessert all the more delicious to her. 

   And, of course, confirmed to Nerþuz that the sugar cookie Sharena was far, far inferior to the dulcet perfection of her precious and most favourite child of Midgard. 

[asherlockstudy]

What are your thoughts on today's EB? I enjoyed every bit of it, it entailed a convo that was a long way coming for Link. I personally thought Rhett tried his utmost not to hurt Link even a little as he attempted to make him see the full picture regarding his social behaviour, it was so sweet and endearing.

I did something stupid. Even though I knew it was an important EB, I did not keep notes like that other time a few weeks ago. Also it was a kind of emotionally charged day for me too so everything’s a little bit of a mess in my head and I am pretty sure I won’t remember everything I was thinking at the time I was watching. It was a lot. This was a checkpoint in their podcast, in many ways.

When the podcast starts and Link is back from his trip, Rhett is still a little off. So even though some days must have passed, there is still something up between them. This is again something clearer on Rhett’s side. He is the one who’s antsy about something and Link responds to that. So, whatever the initial situation was, it was almost certainly Rhett who took an issue with it.

Rhett stings a little: “Don’t feel any obligation to listen to it” (his solo podcast), “You’re too busy for that”, “You know me well enough to not need to listen to me talk without you there”. I am pretty sure Link was joking there, but Rhett was responding more seriously and slightly bitterly. Furthermore that last thing is something I would bet Rhett feels it isn’t mutual; that Rhett can’t easily be absent and not care about what Link might say in his absence. Ironically enough, this eventually becomes the central theme in the podcast.

Then as Rhett explains why he’s taking the next week, he reveals how they barely saw each other in March and April and he is calm but you can see he is pissed about it. Maybe the tension has something to do with this after all. Link is a little defensive there, maybe for the cameras, saying they saw each other plenty, to which Rhett has to bite his tongue and take a sip from his cup. This makes me think that Rhett might consider Link partially responsible for the very little time they had together during these months. But this brought back memories of peak needy!Rhett during the 2020 covid carantine 😅

To reinforce his vibe of neediness, Rhett next blames Link for not persuading him to learn scuba diving earlier, saying it was an awesome experience that they needed to share together. At this point, Link is parts startled and amused, because he is secretly flattered by Rhett’s neediness. Link sort of explains that he just wasn’t used to being the one to take the initiative in their relationship and I sense there was some fear of Rhett rejecting / criticising his suggestions, but also Link almost certainly didn’t enjoy scuba diving as hugely as Rhett, that’s why he undersold it a bit in Rhett’s perception. Link feels that he has invested so much in Rhett, that there is a nasty defensiveness coming out of him in the weirdest of moments. Which is why when he has alternatives, he doesn’t want to show he needs Rhett so badly in order to do something. Rhett responds to that bitterly as well, saying: “Well, I would have begged you. Just saying”. So, you see, different love languages. But Link smiles through it, because of Rhett’s loving whine.

Skipping to the ski pass thing. This is so much more TRIVIAL than anyone made it to be, meaning Rhett and Jenna and Christy. Their reactions were SO dramatic. Okay Link messed up a bit but he had paid for all these passes and he went in with the confidence of the payer, you know. He didn’t think that they would ask all his autobiography for a ski pass. Obviously, the right thing to do was to ask for a change of the data on the pass in advance. Obviously, he should tell the truth from the beginning. But what he thought and it’s understandable was “Oh shit, the card has Michael’s name on. That’s okay, I’ll say his name and she will let me in”. He didn’t expect the age would be on there too and that this would lead to further questions. It was understandable and quite possible to happen. And I do understand his argument about Angie being more abrupt than she should. Clearly, he was there with three other teens following him eagerly, like jeez. And even if I knew she was doing her job, I would too get irritable if I had paid for a shitload of passes that my friends were not utilising and then it was me getting dragged in front of 75 people like a thief or a kidnapper. I am not saying it’s the clever thing to do but it is human and understandable and Jenna and Rhett acting so dramatic about it was excessive in my opinion. I found Christy’s insinuations cruel in this instance too. It was clear that Link didn’t think everybody owed him to pass, he just didn’t think there would be any issue since he was the one paying anyway.

EDIT: At this point I decided to take my time with the ask and rewatch important parts

This simple incident provokes a more serious conversation. However, the conversation actually went sideways. The original topic was how and why Link instinctively chooses to escalate situations without a ground reason for it. However, as Rhett tries to explore it, they accidentally find themselves in deeper waters.

Anyway, Rhett starts analysing how Link never considers how a situation can get out of control in his interaction with people and how everything - even the amount of care you have about what people think of you - should be in moderation. Link is open and thankful for Rhett’s feedback, even though he feels defenceless, and Rhett kind of mellows down. The interesting thing is that this is not the main point concerning either one of them deep inside and you will soon get what I am saying. In his attempt to defend / explain himself, an apologetic speech about how he has learned to rely for everything on Rhett comes out of Link and it is like an indirect apology for not persuading Rhett to scuba dive with him. But this was something that was produced out of many twists and turns and it wasn’t exactly the point of what the conversation was at the moment (escalating situations and expecting someone else will always handle it), so it was more like Link found a small, irrelevant moment out of the blue to apologise to Rhett than anything else.

Rhett sees the green light and goes deeper and explains how Link being himself without filter might sometimes involve him in situations uncalled for. Link grimaces through this and after a deep breath, him trying to collect himself, asks Rhett’s opinion about the incident in the movie theatre. While it is implied the situation escalated somewhat, they did not talk about the escalation but the beginning of the interaction only. Rhett then becomes real and gets closer to the source of his own frustration; he feels like he can’t enjoy himself in a social situation because he has to always monitor Link. Furthermore, an escalation might eventually ruin their night out or also Rhett can often feel swallowed and overshadowed by Link’s so strong come-on entrance.

But was this Rhett’s only problem, especially about the guy in the theatre? The awkwardness? Let’s see some specific parts of their conversation:

Link: You say I try to connect aggressively, that I try to put myself out there.

-

Rhett: And if you want to go to parties by yourself and do whatever you want to and see where the cards fall…. But what I am saying is when you go somewhere with me, or with your wife or with a friend, just so you know, it is the thing they are preoccupied with, is a sense of “okay, is he gonna do something that kind of makes things a little bit awkward for what it feels like his own entertainment?… And maybe it is like a “hey, I am going to… I wanna connect with somebody”… and it’s like-

Link: It IS for my own entertainment.

-

Rhett: I think there is a common root, like “I am gonna say this thing in this situation; I’m not taking my phone out”, is the same, there is a common root to, “I am gonna come into this group and just say something that makes people feel uncomfortable because it’s kind of fun. And you know what, a lot of times it’s actually gonna lead to a stronger connection with somebody….”

Rhett looks quite pointedly at Link.

Link: I just don’t understand why, I mean, in my mind though, talking about my neurosis of me picking out the brand of shoe I am gonna wear to this movie was something that I thought this guy would get a kick out of and he might enjoy meeting me?! (*scoffs*)

Rhett: Yeah but… all I am saying is there is a sort of ribbing.

Am I wrong to believe there might have been another problem bleeding in in Rhett’s complain and Link had picked up on it and it was the one he was actually reacting to? In a rare occasion, Rhett asks Jenna if he’s making any sense and she is slightly confused and it’s because he is saying one main thing but there is also another thing bleeding in, which makes the dialogue a little complicated.

You see, while Rhett doesn’t say anything specifically negative about it, his posture, gestures and expressions have an accusative tone regarding the implication that Link tries to monopolise people’s attention so much that it might lead to a deeper connection later. And while Link listens thoughtfully, this is the one thing he reacts to. He actually said: “Do you really think me starting a joke conversation about my neurotic shoe concerns was me hoping the guy would want to meet up with me later?”

Like, he said that. That’s what he asked. And then Rhett says “No, but there’s a ribbing” before masterfully shifting the conversation.

Rhett was going so deep about this out of a place of wounded ego, if not jealousy. He questions the reasons Link wants strangers’ attention so bad, even if it is in a positive or negative way. He puts the thought out there that maybe there is something else Link wants but if it is so (wounded ego), then at least Link should not go about it when it’s Rhett or his wife escorting him. Then he concedes that it might be superficial, a playfulness, a ribbing, but it still makes Rhett feel like he is not there, like Link wants something else. I am not saying that jealousy was the central topic in this discussion, but it was something that was bleeding in due to Rhett’s frustration and it was the primary thing that Link wanted to clear the air about.

You think I am stretching this? Let’s move forward.

Link at this point makes it clear that he welcomes Rhett’s feedback and stresses many times that “they are on the same side, that there is only one side”. This softens Rhett visibly. However, Link also points out that this conversation could have happened only between the two of them and that it would be “a little different” in private.

Link then explains how he wants to let go in social situations and he somewhat selfishly likes the feeling of having someone look out for him. Rhett describes this as “living with no filter”.

In Link’s exact words: “I think there’s so much of my life that’s like, I think so hard about it that if I can get out of my head and just get into, like, living, then it feels so good because there’s - I am just trying to explain myself. I am not defending myself. And so it helps me think there’s other things to take into account. Like, I have this desire… in a party setting where there is no stake. I feel like there’s no stakes and it’s all just about fun. And whether it’s the critic in my own head or whatever it is, there’s a lot of crunching down. So in the places where I can let loose, I find myself letting loose in a big way because it feels so good”.

So what is he talking about here? So much of his life that he has to think hard about, that it feels great to let loose, to have the illusion that there are no stakes? Is this about their job? Didn’t he previously say they have CEO brains? Is this about family? Is this about private life?

The first time Link breaks is when Rhett reminds him that he loves some people and he sometimes needs to keep that filter on for the sake of these people. While Rhett carefully keeps himself now within the context of social interactions and escalation and aggressive introduction, Link at this point is emotional so he just says:

“I just wanna jump out of the plane, you know?”

Like, WHAT are we talking about now folks? Escalation and chaotic introductions? Is that really what we are talking about??????????????

Rhett does not comment on this phrase but he does describe how Link’s chaoticness (or his desire to jump out of the plane) becomes stronger and stronger each year. He interestingly says that 10 years ago (2012 - 2013, has it been THAT long? 👀) he would never be worried about what Link would say to other people but now he is constantly concerned. The funny thing here is that if memory serves me correctly, Link was always a little strange and bold in his interactions with people. In fact, Rhett was also less skilled and stranger in the past. So, is it Link being weird what concerns Rhett or the nature of Link’s “weirdness”?

Rhett says: “There’s been good growth in a way, like “I am embracing who I am, I am being myself”.

Again, what on earth are we talking about here? “I am embracing who I am, an escalator? A stranger’s teaser?” Is this still the point of the discussion or has the main point gone off the rails?

Rhett then comments that “there is such a commitment on Link’s part for expressing himself without filter”. And he repeats there is a growth but that this growth needs to be managed. Normally, though, when something can be characterised as “growth” then it is a positive that, if anything, would need less management, not more. Link’s “growth” apparently causes problems to himself, Rhett, Christy and potentially other people as well.

Why? Link explains this immediately afterwards: “Yeah I am not jumping out of the plane alone”.

“It’s a tandem jump”, Rhett agrees.

Tandem is the bicycle for two riders. So it’s not just Link who is about to jump out of the plane. It’s Rhett too.

But they quickly correct this, saying it’s a group of people. Me thinks, wives, families, employees, right?

Rhett then says, “And if there’s one guy who’s like ‘this is what I do and I jump out of a plane, I go as fast as I possibly can’, and they’re like ‘yeah but we talked about how we were all gonna… There is a plan! We are all going to do this together!”

And then Rhett kinda rephrases it but it’s too late at this point. You do realise this has nothing to do with aggression or teasing strangers or being unpleasant in social situations anymore, right? There is a mention of a plan. This has NOTHING to do with what they were discussing before. And what they were discussing before was not Rhett’s real issue! Again, there is a plan, for a tandem fall, and essentially a group fall!!!! Nothing to do with random awkward social interactions!!!!!!! It’s literally a totally different, much more serious topic discussed simultaneously!

Then Link stresses how a lot of it is enjoying interacting with strangers (apparently as his “grown” self?) and Rhett says this is evident, not without a hint of condescension, also implying how Link could become the guy who goes to things alone and talks strangers up. This kinda flies over Link’s head.

The second time Link almost breaks down is when he makes clear that he wants to go out with Rhett and enjoy their time together. And because Link never disappoints he saves it until the last second to make this crystal clear:

“What is this inside of me that wants to come out? Like, it goes out sideways and it… it is funny sometimes but other times it’s like… you don’t wanna, you know, I don’t wanna be the guy that’s giving people that are the closest to me a shitty time because I am having the best time of my life. That sucks.”

Link breaks for the third time. And he also just did the thing Rhett was imploring him all this time to not do. It really is a lost cause.

Now while everything at this point is clear, the one confusing thing for me is how removed Rhett is from all this emotionally, like he is not in sync with how Link feels, like it is not the best time of his life, and on one hand I am pretty sure it is because Rhett doesn’t want to jump off the plane yet and if it weren’t for Link wanting it that bad, he probably never would, but on the other hand it scares my selfish Rhink heart, as if this whole situation is just a Link thing and Rhett is just the supportive friend, you know what I mean? But it cannot be, right? This theory doesn’t agree with TLCOBC and Hazel and so many other symbolic things they have done. I was just confused when Link said he’s gotten this feedback from people that love him the most, not just Rhett. I guess or hope this meant family. But even Rhett looked confused with that lol

They wrap up this episode with Link inviting the viewers to write their thoughts he bets they have and Rhett mutters “Oh they do” but… judging from the comments they still don’t lol Or I am straight out imagining things at this point. I don’t know. As you see, I only used their words. So I really don’t know if everyone is so deaf or I am so delusional.

As a last note, I would like to mention that Rhett has softened considerably by the end of the episode compared to the beginning. I should also point out how many times Rhett repeated he loves Link in this episode. He hit a personal record. Probably because it was a tough topic and he didn’t want Link to think he blames him. My favourite moment was when he said “I say this in love” instead of “I say this with love”. Heh. And Link clearly blinked or turned to him every time. Sweet.

[joannerowling]

How do you think the Johnny Depp situation got so toxic so quickly? Is it just because he’s so famous? I do think the anti metoo crowd saw Depp as a good person to use to discredit the metoo movement and used him accordingly considering how famous he is.

I mean I remember the level of hatred he got in 2016-18 then it just changed so dramatically during the trial with seemingly so little effort. It felt so suspicious to me. I went from being pretty indifferent to feeling genuinely quite sorry for Amber. She was treated awfully and I have never really been a fan of hers. I wonder if he employed bots to help start a conversation in his favour considering it really seemed like he had very little positive media coverage before the trial. Although there were plenty of real people on his side on TikTok and Twitter etc.

I just wish he was never cast as Grindelwald. Jo and the crew got so much hate for keeping him as Grindelwald for CoG after allegations then got so much backlash for getting rid of him after a judge literally deemed him guilty. I do think it really damaged the fantastic Beasts films. I have a feeling it would have received a little more goodwill if another actor played Grindelwald from the beginning. Plus as a Grindeldore fan I really didn’t like him as Grindelwald at all and I’m genuinely sad now that anyone who plays Grindelwald will be tainted by the Depp fans who’ll always act like the character belongs to Johnny. No Grindelwald belongs to Jo!

Prefacing this with: i'm not really the best to ask about the Depp/Heard case, or actors in general tbh. I'm not the most knowledgeable and found the whole circus around the trial grotesque.

That being said, how did the situation get so toxic? First of all, the heavy involvement of Depp's legal team (as well as either well paid or very motivated third parties) in building his "defence" online in the years preceding the trials and weaponising the Internet against Heard. This is well known by now and includes falsifying evidence before leaking it to fans, use of bots to build a momentum, etc. But it doesn't explain how the sauce took so well, does it? Imo and in no particular order:

Social context online. Check out the first comment on this reddit thread i've found about the Netflix documentary that came out about the case recently: "The appeal of getting in deep with the case wasn’t so much to learn about law and defamation, it was the fun of joining in with others as a community and sharing reactions and emotions." Based on this alone you could have told this was never going to be about justice, but the internet equivalent of a rave party in post-Covid times.

Fashion. It was trendy to be pro-Heard, now it's trendy to be pro-Depp. "Don't you know new info came out that she actually was the abusive one all along?? Keep up!" is a much better story to gossip about than "yeah, Depp, that known abuser, we've known since 2016"

Reactionary response to the brief #MeToo era, or as we call it, the classic pendulum of misogyny coming back in full swing.

The extremely ridiculous American legal system allowing for trials to be filmed and justice to be made a spectacle of, under the very thin veil of education and "transparency". The only thing that's transparent here is that the US fucking suck but we knew this.

Neo capitalism. See this article : the real winners of the case are media content creators who "went all in".

I too wish Depp was never cast as Grindelwald, first because he's such an obviously poor choice for the role independently of his behaviour. But WB in general has a problem with casting the worst possibly individuals known to man (or rather women) in lead roles. See fucking Ezra Miller and the Flash disaster. But i think what actually damaged the movies much more than any celebrity business (least of all JKR's own controversy which the general public knows shit about) is that they weren't all that good.

[vergess]

I have a lot of issyes with antishippers calling me insane and that my father abandoned me.

My father is schizophrenia, and the reason he lives alone is because he would freak out and argue with my mother constantly. I am glad my father got an apartment complex, but he is gotten a lot worse, and he thinks the neighbors can hear him through the walls, and he literally believes that the neighbors are trying to get him kicked out or something, and he would believe the most random things.

There have been times when I have thought my mother was calling me over, but when I asked what she needed, she would look at me like I was crazy and tell me she had not called me over. Other times, I hear voices in my head that are not mine; they would not really tell me to do anything. the voices usually just talk about random things.

I pretended to be honest with my mother, telling her that I did not hear voices in my head because I did not want her to get any more unhappy after learning that the school had withheld the information about me having autism from her for years. .

I have adhd, mild autism and stickler syndrome

My father's side of the family has schizophrenia

It upsets me a lot when antishippers call me insane, etc. because it makes me feel like I and my father's side of the family are dangerous and insane.

First of all, I am so, so sorry that people are being cruel to you about your father. That behaviour isn't okay, and it's especially bad when they are taking advantage of his mental illness to do it.

At a professional level, my job is working with schizophrenic and schizoaffective patients to help the develop adult skills, and I want to say both objectively (that is, based on the existing research) and personally, that being schizophrenic does not make you a bad or violent person. In fact, you're much more likely to be a victim of violence as a schizophrenic than to commit violence yourself.

At worst, schizophrenia makes you scared. And yeah, scared people can be mean, but they aren't evil. The major symptom of schizophrenia, the one that ruins lives, is overwhelming fear. Not a secret urge to be violent, but absolute (that is, delusional) certainty that they are in danger.

In fact, it's worth remembering that from a global perspective, the voices that schizophrenics hear are often very good influences, encouraging social well being, and trying to "intervene" in high stress situations to help keep the schizophrenic person safe. It is only when a schizophrenic person is being traumatized that their voices become cruel and vicious.

As for telling your mother that you have been hearing voices:

That is your mind. You don't have to tell anyone about anything you don't want them to know. If you ever feel safe and secure enough to tell her, then that's great! But if you keep it private from her for the rest of your life, that's fine too. Your mind is your business, no one else's.

Plenty of schizophrenic people and others with hallucinations are able to lead happy and fulfilled lives, with or without medication. It sounds based on our past conversations like you may be in a good position to continue trying to live on your own without medical intervention.

But, if you ever do have to have intervention medically, please do not panic.

I would say that most schizophrenic people can comfortably live in society with fairly little physical support as long as they have 1) enough medication to keep their voices calm and kind even under stress, 2) a safe place to live.

You are not a danger to others just because you hear voices. Your father is not a danger just because he needs support to live on his own.

You are both just people.

And next time an antishipper says that shit to you, feel free to send me the post and I will fucking tear out their asshole on your behalf.

Because, like I said at the beginning: saying shit like that is unacceptable in all circumstances.