#please tiktok i am going insane

[aranciadotcom]

STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP-

[lightyaoigami]

americans only others look away this doesn't apply to you: i shouldn't be surprised that the most braindead political takes really catch flight on the website where white american suburban ex-evangelical shut-ins who use their queerness as a cudgel against other marginalized identities hang out lmao

[tinkerbitch69]

Just saw a Tik Tok that played the speech about being a woman from the Barbie movie over screenshots of trump supporter tweets with a description lamenting that ‘every woman saw and loved the Barbie movie* but y’all learned nothing from it :’(’

Woah, you’re shocked the FUCKING Barbie movie of all things didn’t end misogyny for good?!!!

Get fucking REAL omfg. The most milquetoast liberal feminist takes ever, including and almost entirely limited to ‘well shucks being a women sure is not very swell, is it?’ dressed up in corporate propaganda and insipid product placement is not going to do shit in combating reactionary ideology, no matter how many of you absolute chucklefucks have the misconception that it is some radical piece of social commentary. Truly just the most vapid political takes coming out of Tik Tok for real. Tho I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

*press x to doubt

[ardenigh]

It was fun reading about Lucky and I’ve thought of several questions about him:

1) How did Tegan die and how was he brought back?

2) What was Tegan’s life like?

3) What sort of person is Tegan’s brother?

4) What is Lucky’s daily routine?

5) Does anyone else in Tegan’s family know about Lucky? If so, how are they taking it?

6) How similar/ different are Tegan and Lucky’s personalities?

7) Besides Dmitri and the helmet, does Lucky keep anything from Tegan?

8) Would Tegan’s brother dig further into denial as time goes on or would he accept that Lucky is a person of their own?

9) Would Lucky ever be comfortable at looking at Tegan’s face?

it is once again... Lucky Hour

(thank you sm for the ask and the wait, omg! this got really ungainly really fast bc i like talking too much about my boy, so I'm dropping a cut here!)

It was fun reading about Lucky and I’ve thought of several questions about him:

1) How did Tegan die and how was he brought back?

He was brought back à la Shepard in an effort led by his older brother, a talented neurologist willing to call in every last favor he'd accrued over his career. Experimental cybernetics and nanotech to knit the corpse back together… synthetic neural weaves to shore up and repair the brain damage… The aim was to rebuild his damaged parts, resuscitate his basic autonomic functions and, in turn, facilitate the recovery and augmentation of his higher functions - all with the end goal of bringing his little brother back.

As for how Tegan died?

Motorcycle accident. 

Eyes on the road, guys.

2) What was Tegan’s life like?

Probably less legitimate than most people’s - not that he ever let his mother know, back when she was alive. Ostensibly, he was just an apprentice at a tattoo parlor and liked frequenting the library. Beneath that, though, he had a familiarity with the city’s rougher crowds and lesser-known corners. A known neutral party to those interested in such things, Tegan was the king of the illegal street racing scene and a popular racer to bet on. ‘Course, being so familiar with the fast and loose life, Tegan was no stranger to witnessing other crimes from time to time. Some of his old racing buddies, the ones who know how observant he was, think that Tegan’s death was no coincidence - but they know to keep their voices down.

3) What sort of person is Tegan’s brother?

Janus… is a perfectionist, a visionary, and a brilliant academic to boot - he holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience and a master’s in software engineering, and he fully intends to broaden his wheelhouse as he goes. He’s also very much the picture of a resentful older sibling for most of his and Tegan’s upbringing, because, like - while he studied the blade, Tegan was out here goofing off and getting into trouble and still somehow being the favorite son, to salt the wound. Of course, what he lacks in close connection and open communication (and he really is lacking there), he makes up for with a ferocious tenacity. If this man sees something worth salvaging, he will immediately lock his jaws on it and he will not accept failure as an option.

He knows he should have tried more with Tegan, and he refuses to entertain the thought of never having that second chance.

4) What is Lucky’s daily routine?

For the most part, Lucky is a courier and busy with it; lets him combine his love of riding with an easy way to see new things and meet new people. He lives on lots of little catnaps interspersed with lots of running around - it’s not unusual to see him out and about early in the morning, and again in the middle of the night. 

His routine is a little like this: deliver package, stop by new hole in the wall place he passed earlier, deliver package, head home to sleep and feed dmitri. head over to janus’s lab for mnemonic exercises and a vitals check. deliver package. Find a new piece of media to delve into. Take nap. Leave city limits to stargaze.

Not necessarily like that all the time, of course, or in that order.

5) Does anyone else in Tegan’s family know about Lucky? If so, how are they taking it?

Oh, no. Going down the list, it’s like - father passed when the boys were little… mother a couple years before Tegan’s accident… between Janus’s aversion to regular communication and busy student life, and also Tegan being none too keen on letting on that he’s making a living racing illegally, neither one is close with their relatives. 

The most they know is that Tegan was hurt. He’s made a full recovery, though, so don’t worry, no need to visit (says Janus, stonewalling every single attempt while also frantically trying to snap his brother out of whatever delusion of identity he’s working through). 

Now, Tegan's associates, on the other hand… some are very concerned about the sudden personality changes. 

6) How similar/ different are Tegan and Lucky’s personalities?

They both love an adrenaline rush! They’re also both pretty social and will initiate conversations. Neither of them actively seeks romance or relationships, (‘no one in this city can handle me,’ says tegan. ‘i’ve existed for, like, three weeks,’ says lucky.) They’re also both good at compartmentalizing when they need to.

Tegan is louder, for sure, though - he’s developed an affectation of infuriating nonchalance after years of being constantly dealt his brother’s disapproval, the “why are you always like X”  and “why do you never do Y.” He will not be judged, thanks, and certainly not by the guy who only communicates in criticism and academic citation. 

Lucky is still chatty, but he speaks a little softer, and he pays more attention to the people around him. He skirts around people in a crowd rather than walking straight through. He’s taken by small details and twice as observant as his template, and people who knew Tegan are a little unnerved by how much more insightful he is, these days. Novelty makes him gentler, keener to listen in. He still shares Tegan’s pull to go fast at all times, though.

To sum up the main difference, though: Tegan will tank a sucker punch and grin through bloodied teeth. 

Lucky will dodge. 

7) Besides Dmitri and the helmet, does Lucky keep anything from Tegan?

Aside from all the basic identifying and legal assets? Tegan's apartment for one (although he does take care to partition everything that's not his own). Walking in, you would think two people were living there - only, one of them has been away for so long that an atmosphere of neglect has settled over his things. It takes a long while for Lucky to peek into Tegan’s collection of books and journals, so they’ve been getting a bit dusty. Can’t bring himself to throw anything, though. Feels disrespectful.

Tegan’s bike was completely totaled in the accident, though. Lucky would have kept it, otherwise.

8) Would Tegan’s brother dig further into denial as time goes on or would he accept that Lucky is a person of their own?

Ooh, that is a very good question, like, thematically. Janus is the reigning champion of not letting things go, tbh; it wouldn’t just take time, either. It would take a slow, methodical dismantling of everything Janus thought he knew about Tegan. It would take little, sharp instances of realization, that Tegan had passions and hobbies that he’d had no idea of. That Tegan had always looked up to him, behind the cavalier rebel front. That, really, when it came down to it, he never really knew his little brother at all. 

Honestly? First he has to accept that he can’t fix this; it’s too late, and his brother is gone. 

Only then will he even begin to be able to accept Lucky as his own person. 

Something something Janus’s stages of grief go: anger, bargaining, denial denial denial…

9) Would Lucky ever be comfortable at looking at Tegan’s face?

Yes! I mean, very early on, he hardly even had a problem looking in the mirror - like, it was tragic and all, and of course he harbors a lot of curiosity about who this other guy was, but it was only up until people started expecting him to be Tegan that it started to cause him discomfort. Once he has a firm grasp on who he is, ‘cause he’s still feeling that out, and once certain people understand that he’s Not The Guy They Want, then he’d be able to look himself in the eyes without wanting to crawl out of his own skin a little bit. 

bonus: quick doodle of tegan and lucky for a bit of feature comparison

[atlas-affogato]

I need to get off tiktok because the fandom discourse and thought policing is going to make my brain leak out of my ears

[subjectsix]

I don't know I'm not done talking about it. It's insane that I can't just uninstall Edge or Copilot. That websites require my phone number to sign up. That people share their contacts to find their friends on social media.

I wouldn't use an adblocker if ads were just banners on the side funding a website I enjoy using and want to support. Ads pop up invasively and fill my whole screen, I misclick and get warped away to another page just for trying to read an article or get a recipe.

Every app shouldn't be like every other app. Instagram didn't need reels and a shop. TikTok doesn't need a store. Instagram doesn't need to be connected to Facebook. I don't want my apps to do everything, I want a hub for a specific thing, and I'll go to that place accordingly.

I love discord, but so much information gets lost to it. I don't want to join to view things. I want to lurk on forums. I want to be a user who can log in and join a conversation by replying to a thread, even if that conversation was two days ago. I know discord has threads, it's not the same. I don't want to have to verify my account with a phone number. I understand safety and digital concerns, but I'm concerned about information like that with leaks everywhere, even with password managers.

I shouldn't have to pay subscriptions to use services and get locked out of old versions. My old disk copy of photoshop should work. I should want to upgrade eventually because I like photoshop and supporting the business. Adobe is a whole other can of worms here.

Streaming is so splintered across everything. Shows release so fast. Things don't get physical releases. I can't stream a movie I own digitally to friends because the share-screen blocks it, even though I own two digital copies, even though I own a physical copy.

I have an iPod, and I had to install a third party OS to easily put my music on it without having to tangle with iTunes. Spotify bricked hardware I purchased because they were unwillingly to upkeep it. They don't pay their artists. iTunes isn't even iTunes anymore and Apple struggles to upkeep it.

My TV shows me ads on the home screen. My dad lost access to eBook he purchased because they were digital and got revoked by the company distributing them. Hitman 1-3 only runs online most of the time. Flash died and is staying alive because people love it and made efforts to keep it up.

I have to click "not now" and can't click "no". I don't just get emails, they want to text me to purchase things online too. My windows start search bar searches online, not just my computer. Everything is blindly called an app now. Everything wants me to upload to the cloud. These are good tools! But why am I forced to use them! Why am I not allowed to own or control them?

No more!!!!! I love my iPod with so much storage and FLAC files. I love having all my fics on my harddrive. I love having USBs and backups. I love running scripts to gut suck stuff out of my Windows computer I don't want that spies on me. I love having forums. I love sending letters. I love neocities and webpages and webrings. I will not be scanning QR codes. Please hand me a physical menu. If I didn't need a smartphone for work I'd get a "dumb" phone so fast. I want things to have buttons. I want to use a mouse. I want replaceable batteries. I want the right to repair. I grew up online and I won't forget how it was!

[do-you-have-a-flag]

Text recounting of the full events below but oh my god please watch this person explain the wildest thing happening to them

[image text]r/trueoffmychest post by CptnSpaceCase tiktok handle kelseycanstand

Today my aide cooked what should not be cooked

I have to get this out, because today feels like an actual nightmare I keep expecting to wake up from.

I'm disabled, and need help with stuff around the house. Today was the second day with a new agency and new home health aide, "Tina." I set it up so she would come by in the morning while I'm sleeping (insomnia is killer), and I texted her last night what I would need done today.

One of those things was to roast some precut squash I'd gotten so I could have it with my salads and pasta. I was very clear in my instructions: what it looked like, where it was in the fridge, how to use the oven, how to cook it. I also have a roommate who was up and told her she could ask them for help if she couldn't find anything. Or come get me if truly necessary.

Now, I have three pet ball pythons. They eat rats that I thaw from frozen in the fridge in a reusable plastic bag. Yes, that's where I'm going with this.

Tina couldn't find the squash, and so, obviously, that meant she should roast the first other thing she could see that was technically also encased in plastic, in a completely different area of the fridge. The FUCKING RATS. In butter and salt, in my nice baking dish.

And like, that's insane all on its own, but if you're going to cook any animal, you should at least clean and skin it first, right??? Like, do the crazy, disgusting thing properly so I can respect the effort, instead of sticking them in as is. Fur and guts and all.

And the smell. Good God baby Jesus the SMELL. It woke me up and had me gagging the moment I opened my bedroom door. Definitely not squash. Or food-smelling for that matter. At first I thought the squash had spontaneously rotted overnight and she'd tried to cook it anyway. That would have been slightly less insane and much preferable.

I had to pull it out of her what she was cooking instead when she said she couldn't find it (it was in plain sight), had to open the oven and see my snakes' dinners in place of my own and still couldn't process what the fuck was happening, what I was looking at and smelling. I don't like yelling at people and generally avoid it. Today was a day for exceptions. And at the end of my half-crazed, dissociative rant, I told her to get the whole dish and its contents and herself out of the fucking house. And to not come back.

Suffice to say, I've contacted the agency to report it and am requesting a new aide. Now I'm sitting at a cafe trying to calm down and eat something despite the scent memory that's taken up permanent residence and turning my stomach. The whole house reeks like musty, sewage-dipped pork that had been left out for a whole day before being cooked in rancid oil, and I'm not sure Febreeze is gonna cut it. I don't want to go home. 🫠😭

[yourlocalabomination]

HI I NEED EVERYBODY TO LOOK AT THIS RN

Uhhh... What do you MEAN that I'm taking headcannons from other fanartists?

.... Sorry, you're right. @yourlocalabomination's "Taking whats not yours" - Jennybear post made me sooo normal. So uh........

COLLEGE!JENNYBEAR! BUT THEY ARE STUPID WITH BAGGY PANTS CAUSE. ITS THE 2000'S, and I was born in 2006 and all i remember wearing then was pink leggings and a sparkly shirt- as wal mart might have. you know you know.. AND I HAVE NO SENSE IN FASHION, BUT these radical, nerdy, edible taking sweethearts are special to me.

And you cant tell me that ted never put on a fake. Like... Personality to seem SOOOO much cooler than he actually was. He was impressing no-one from left to right. And looked like such a loser but Jenny always was like. "Oh, yeah. You looked SO cool Dwdw." and ted knows shes just joking around, but hes still like "ikr B)"

Anyways, jenny gets rollerskates, ted gets a skateboard, and they have matching piercings, and jenny has a necklace and she paints their nails, but ted totally pickes at it subconsciously, and jenny tried taking him rollerskating once, and he was good at it. But when he got older he totally forgot how, and if he tries skating, he'd look like a cool. And I think that's a good thing, cause jenny would love to see him fall and try again.

And I think about them alot............

[papaiyatree]

bro one more time i get a tiktok on my fyp abt how much they love their friends i'm going to lose it

[megumishotgf]

fic recommendations ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ

here are some of my favourite fics currently!! yes most of them are smutty because i am a whore!! ♡

featuring: megumi, satoru, suguru, katsuki (+ a little yuuta + mikasa) credits to all these beautiful writers - pls check them out!! masterlist fic recs pt. ii pt. iii

: ̗̀➛ megumi fushiguro x reader

possessive megumi is tired of other men thirsting over you, including toji and satoru (fic: incredible... i come back to this all the time.)

first kiss with gumi leads to another first (fic: smutty but also so intimate i love it)

you ask megumi to rail you after ur ex cheats (he fucks you so good omg. part two of the fic this is the smutty part)

y/n is pregnant and craving donuts (manga spoilers, a little angsty but mostly cute fluff!!)

you worry megumi doesn't love you. he does (don't worry not angsty so cute and fluffy makes my heart swell!!)

late night call w/ gumi who is so crazy in love with you (im crying i love him)

clueless inspired stepcest with gumi (adding this with no shame it's so so good. soft dom gumi my favourite)

"pretend i'm a random girl at a bar coming onto you" (established relationship. so fucking funny and witty. thank u so much author)

finger fucking you until you squirt omfg (i'm going insane)

weed dealer megumi headcanons (smutty towards the end i love this so much)

megumi protects you from an ass then fucks you in his car (i love protective men)

ditching school to blow your nerdy skater boy gumi (school a.u omg!!)

: ̗̀➛ satoru gojo x reader

satoru finds footage of his teen years with suguru, y/n and shoko (angsty fic: this is so beautiful and could make me sob)

mating press with satoru (holy shit... he loses control of his technique cumming inside... i'm in awe)

y/n is suguru's sister and hates toru but eventually they fuck (i was hollering reading this it's so good)

satoru needs help cutting his hair. almost goes bald (this is so funny and heartwarming. a blessing from tumblr)

drunk satoru cries about your pussy being so good then comes home to fuck you good (deleted ya’ll someone PLEASE send me this fic if it is elsewhere!!)

your clingy situationship w/ satoru (he's so soft and in love...)

: ̗̀➛ suguru geto x reader

suguru lets virgin! satoru fuck his gf (fic: so good holy shit. one of my favourite fics ever. suguru is so soft for his girl)

you're fucking your best friends' father (college a.u!! suguru gets jealous and fucks the brattiness out of you. so so good)

social media au w/ your bf geto!! (so cute and funny!! there is a gojo version too!!)

suguru finds you during your 'sad girl bathtub hours' (comfort!!)

squirting shamelessly in his face (dream)

weed dealer! suguru corrupts you (dumbification kink go crazy)

: ̗̀➛ katsuki bakugo x reader

katsuki doesn't understand how attractive he is (drabble: katsuki is so fine but he only has eyes for you)

you blow katsuki while getting his car washed (taylor swift playing omg? so hot)

your kid shows you a beautiful (ugly) drawing, katuski dies laughing (so fucking funny have you seen the similar tiktok!!)

: ̗̀➛ yuuta okkotsu x reader

vampire! yuuta soothes your period cramps... (u know what this means. incredibly written)

: ̗̀➛ BONUS: mikasa ackerman x reader

drug dealer! mikasa (headcanons: a little smutty, gunplay and robbing men)

: ̗̀➛ multiple characters (drabbles)

jjk men as chubby chasers !! (toji, yuuta, gumi + satoru) (fellow chubby girlies you will go crazy for this)

jjk men + halloween costumes (toji, satoru, nanami + suguru) (so funny and accurate!!)

[jilixthinker]

hii 👋🏻 i don't know if this has been written before but i saw it in a comment and wanted to read it for skz.... 👀

🎀you are asking to put a ribbon on his d🎀 aaaand the reactions and maybe the events that follow 🤭🤭

it could be changbin or 3racha or skz all separately, whatever you want 🩷

candy boy

=͟͟͞♡ changbin × fem!reader

=͟͟͞♡ ribbon challenge

word count: 1.2K

content warning: explicit sexual content, established relationship, sub!changbin, oral sex (m receiving)

a/c: this took forever and i am very sorry! but Binnie was so perfect for this and I just needed to give it a go. hope you’ll forgive me hun ❤️‍🩹

=͟͟͞♡ please consider reblogging if you like my works!

Changbin eyes are pleading, lashes long and pretty against his full cheeks and a tiny tear nestled on the corner of his eyes. He’s been watching you for several minutes now, as you diligently apply some makeup on his face. The blush you did choose for highlighting his features is of a pretty cool shade of pink, and it matches the lipstick that you carefully selected between the ones he picked earlier. It’s a little bit sticky on his lips, and it shines as if it was a layer of caramelized sugar. It surely gonna taste sweet.

“Baby…” he whispers, a small whine escaping from his parted mouth, “how long is it going to take?”

You finish brushing the blush on his cheekbones and pout at him. “Binnie, you promised that you were going to stay still.”

Changbin shifts from his position. He is sitting on a chair, in front of the wall mirror of your bathroom, and he is wearing nothing but a big fluffy sweater. Pink, of course. His plush thighs are parted and the shiny head of his small cock is peaking out from the soft bush of jet black hair just at the end of his happy trail. That is soft as well, you know that. He always use shampoo and conditioner on that as well, and you always spend an insane amount of time caressing and twirling your fingers around his curls. But not today. Today he has to wait.

“Yes, I know – but…” he continues, puffing some air out. The fabric of the sweater accentuates the softness of his chest, and you softly let your hand fall in between his clothed pecs, “it kinda hurts now.”

Your gaze ends up on the soft pudge of his tummy, barely covered by the only piece of clothing he is wearing and you pinch it between your thumb and index, making him shiver. “Does it?” you ask, fake sweetness on your tone. “That’s because you got all hard while I was making you pretty, baby. If it would have stayed soft, it wouldn’t hurt for sure”.

Changbin sighs and his cock twitches in between his legs. “I tried,” he insists, “but you keep touching me, it’s not my fault.”

That’s not completely untrue. You have been teasing him for the last 30 minutes. Your thighs purposely brushing against his bare skin and hands wandering on his chest and shoulders, lightly grazing at his nipples from above the fabric. He’s been waiting for you to finish his makeup, as you asked, but he got hard, that was almost inevitable.

But he was the one asking for this in the first place. You were peacefully testing some new products that you’ve been wanting to try for a long time, and he interrupted you by showing you a tiktok video of some guy doing something called “ribbon challenge”, demanding your attention and pleading you until you finally gave up.

And now there he is, flushed and aroused, pretty makeup applied on his round and soft face, and a small tight ribbon tied at the base of his chubby tiny cock.

The ribbon is pink – as his sweater and as his face – and the tie is constricting his length at the limits of decency. If he just had stayed soft, it wouldn’t hurt. But you did nothing to make him stay soft.

“And what do I have to do about it?” you ask. Your lips find their way to the soft spot behind his ear and you place a humid kiss there.

Changbin hiccups and a pleading whine leaves his lips once again. His cock is bobbed against the fat of his inner thigh and the curls above it curls are glistening with a few drops of white precum. The ribbon stands cutely just an inch below that, the pink color in contrast with the redness of his length. The tip leaks just a pearl of dense liquid from the slit and Changbin eyes run to yours.

“I’ve been good. Please. Please, I’ve been good. Am I not pretty?” he asks as his cock tries to gain some friction by closing his legs a little. Your own knee quickly stops the movement, slotting in between his sturdy thighs.

“You are so pretty, Binnie. The prettiest,” you concede, pressing another languid kiss on the corner of his sticky lips. “I was just teasing you. What do you want, baby? You want my lips?”

Changbin almost mewls at your question and he nods furiously, making you chuckle. “Yes, please. Please, your mouth. Need s’ much, Binnie needs it.”

His cockhead bumps again his belly as you shift from your position to kneel down on the floor. The slap on the skin is lewd and wet, and it draws a thin stripe of precum on his bellybutton. Changbin soft grunts are delicious and you always try to elongate this moment more than you can just to feel him becoming restless under your touch. But today you played with him enough, and you decide to give him what he’s asking for as you lower you face, filling your lungs with his strawberry scent and finally mouthing at his shaft before grabbing the base of his cock with two of your fingers.

Changbin hisses what sounds like a curse, and you cup his balls with your other hand, suckling just at the gummy tip and swirling your tongue around it. “Like this, baby? My sweet candy boy wants me to eat him up like this?” you breathe, giving another kitten lick on the underside of the puffy head.

Changbin gulps again. “Yes. Oh god, please, yes. Thank you, thank you.” he pants out, teeth biting the fat of his bottom lip.

You smile mischievously as you grip his length, slapping his cockhead against your tongue. You do it a few times until Changbin is a shivering mess above you, and a spurt of white liquid shoots out of him. You use your thumb to spread it on your lips, mimicking the way you applied the clear lipstick on him.

“Baby, ah– please,” he keens as you slap his cock on your wet muscle a few more times before his hips buck forward and you curl your fingers around the base of his length once again. He lets out a shuddering breath, and with a quick movement you sink your head down to engulf the entirety of him.

When you feel him twitching against the roof of your mouth, you detach from his cock with a pop, hand lazily cupping one of his balls and rolling it on your palm. “Binnie, baby,” you coo, “I want to have fun too.”

Changbin pants heavily and hisses a painful whine at the loss of your heath. His cute face is flushed with a thin layer of sweat and the lipgloss is imperceptibly smudged on the corner of his lips. “W-what do you mean?”

You smile, and you nose at his tummy, biting it softly. “I mean…” you puff as you start a slow rhythm of stroking his aching girth, “that it would be so nice if you could pop that little ribbon with this cute little cock of yours. What do you think about that, baby? Can you get hard enough?”

Changbin eyes are glassy and teary, but he nods nonetheless. “I can. Binnie can.” he mutters in between his teeth, cock already engorged and impossibly red under your lustful gaze. “Binnie can make it,” he assures you with devotion. “Can make it pop.”

©️ jilixthinker, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[twoa-plus]

hello gravity falls fandom i am going insane and putting everyone into monsterfalls. i cannot be stopped. i’m on mobile so i can only post 10 at a time but here’s the first 10 + explanations :3

mermaid mabel is cool and all but i think she should be Weirder. also the idea of her not being able to frolic makes me sad. so she’s a wolpertinger now

i like cervitaur dipper he can stay. gave him a lil saddlebag for the extra pocket space & turned the spots on his back into more constellations :3

BEAR WITH ME OK dragon stan. PLEASE PLEASE HEAR ME OUT PLEASE i pulled out the monster manual for this and everything & copper dragon suits him PERFECTLY they’re funny and charismatic and like having company around and get annoyed with people who don’t like their jokes and are very protective of their hoards and

i like sphinx ford i think it suits him but i don’t really like how everyone just makes him a lion furry with wings like c’mon get WEIRD !!!! give that cat a jarringly human face

tbh my justification for this one is mostly just that i think it’s funny but. fur bearing trout wendy. they come from lumberjack lore so it’s at least kind of on theme

listen i usually just draw twinks and pretty girls im fighting for my life here dont @ me. anyways fairy soos comes from a post by @/year2000electronics :3

GRENDAAA i wanted her to be both pretty/cute and also strong bc like. yeag. so i settled on peryton with a violet-backed starling as the bird :) c’mon man it’s a deer pegasus with cool colors what’s not to love

when i first started doing these my bestie said candy would be a fresno nightcrawler and i have not looked back. i dont know why but it suits her so much

someone in my tiktok comments said mothman robbie and i was just like. yeah sounds legit. and then my bestie said he’d be a rosy maple moth who dyes himself black/red to be emo or whatever and now we’re here :3

gideon is a kitsune bc they’re tricksters or whatever and also easy to turn into a marketable plushie. he would totally be plushie-able

ok now i am off to make the sequel i’ll put a link here when it’s done :D

edit: IT HAS ARRIVED

[schoenpepper]

Hellooo

Can I request an x reader who tells them the most confusing stories on purpose? Like, "Have you ever walked on your back and suddenly a train washes up on your shore with a cold and lights on its house?" You can look more of this on tiktok lol

Characters: Trey, Jade, Floyd, Azul, Idia, Rook and Jamil pleasee

What the Fuck

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, rushed kasi nagsasagot ako ng accounting

A/N: I don't have a tikky tok ahahaha I'll just wing it ig. also wdym jade's part is longer no its not

Masterlist

Trey would be confused, but to be honest, there's not too much that can phase him at this point.

He'll look at you with a small, fond smile—ever so compliant to every whimsy.

He won't reply with something just as ridiculous, but he can shove a pastry into your mouth to stop you.

Honestly, it's a good deal.

Jade knows this isn't a normal human thing.

He just doesn't care.

"Oh, is that so? I'm afraid I can't answer your question, seeing as I am but a poor merman ignorant of human ways."

Bulletproof smile.

Whatever you're trying to gain from doing this, he just won't give it to you.

Might reply.

"And if a clownfish suffocated in river water trying to kiss a seagull, how many eggs have been laid in a clutch within a coral reef?"

Floyd has two ways of responding to this. It depends on your luck.

If you're lucky, he'll think you're funny and laugh.

If you're unlucky, you get squeezed because "Ahaha, what nonsense are you muttering about, shrimpy? Should I squeeze it outta ya'?"

Run.

Anyway, if you do this to Floyd, you should have been long prepared to run like your life depends on it. It does.

Azul has a very low tolerance for nonsense.

Even if it is you, he'll likely just smile confusedly and refrain from replying.

If you keep on going, he'll draw up a contract then and there to forbid you from ever talking like that again.

Please stop.

Why are you even doing this?!

Jamil is going crazy. Actually, clinically insane.

Stop. Right now.

Will backhand you to the other side of Scarabia. Again.

He's tired enough, please don't add on to his headaches.

If you catch him when he's sleepy, he'll just look at you in a daze and stop processing your words. Will crash.

Rook smiles.

It is very unsettling.

Will nod along to your words and comment complementary nonsense every once in a while.

"There is beauty in such a labyrinth of words! As if only Ariadne's string itself would be my only salvation."

Freak.

Idia grimaces—there's no way you're hopping on a trend that cringe, right?

...Damn. You actually are.

Er, how close are you with Idia?

Level 1: omfg dude bro get a lyf like rn away from me

Level 2: haha v funny shut up now

Level 3: bb pls stop im going to actually die from cringe

Taglist:

@yummyyummyinmytumny @fsh1 @lemon-koii

[libraryofolive]

to the left a bit - the other left!

featuring: fiancee!Nanami x reader

genre: fluff, drabble

word count: 900

synopsis: You and your fiancée have just moved in together, and what better way to celebrate than by decorating your now shared home for the spooky season?

part three of spooky section, my 2024 Halloween event!

The three years you had been with your fiancée, Kento Nanami, had been full of ups and downs (infinitely more highs than lows, of course) so when he asked you to move in together, the answer could only naturally be a yes.

Which is what led you to your current predicament. You had decided to move into a new apartment together, slightly nicer than either of your previous ones thanks to now being a dual income household. Unfortunately, this meant there was also double the packing and consequent unpacking to make this apartment your new home. Add both of your busy schedules into the mix (not to mention your penchant for procrastinating) and it meant that unpacking took far longer than neither you nor Kento would like to admit.

There was at least one stack of cardboard boxes in the corner of each room, all full of trinkets that added the personal touches you both could admit the space was currently lacking. But the thought of finding every little thing a place was so daunting, yet the empty shelves and plain walls were driving you insane.

You were sat on your sofa one day, scrolling instead of the sorting you had promised you’d continue whilst your fiancée was called into work, when you got the idea. Grinning to yourself, you saved the TikTok that had prompted the idea as you jumped off the couch, grabbing your keys and practically running out the door.

Nanami Kento was pissed off. A day that was supposed to be spent with his lover - yes, a day full of tedious tasks, but Kento would enjoy pulling teeth if it meant spending time with you - was instead spent with the insufferable imbeciles he was forced to call his colleagues. Forced into meetings because no one else was competent enough to be trusted.

He had picked you up a small bouquet of flowers, an apology for leaving you with the Herculean task of chipping away at the many cardboard boxes. He reached your front door, slightly taken aback at the orange wreath currently hanging from it. He didn’t recognise it - maybe it was yours? Had you found it earlier, and decided to get into the Halloween spirit by hanging it? He was unsure, but there was no doubt he’d be finding out soon.

He walked into the apartment, only to be met with more seasonal decorations. Two pumpkins sat uncarved on the kitchen table, cobwebs were strung here there and everywhere, and paper bats, spiders and ghosts were also dotted about the apartment.

“Honey?” The blonde man called out, causing a shuffling sound to start in the living room.

“Ken! In here, I need your help!” You shouted back. He made his way towards you, taking in the sight of your living room in the same state as the rest of your apartment. You were stood on a chair, struggling with a ‘Happy Halloween!’ banner.

“What’s all this, love?” He asked as he took the banner from you, exchanging it for the flowers still in his hand.

“Are these for me? Oh, you shouldn’t have! Let me go put them in some water.” You took Kento’s now free hand as you jumped off the chair, scuttling towards the kitchen to fetch a vase.

“What am I doing with this?” Your fiancée called after you, looking at the banner, confused. You messing with the flowers in the kitchen gave Kento time to look closely at the living room - quickly noticing that there had been very little unpacked since he left the apartment this morning.

“Will you help me put that up please?” You asked once you reappeared, “I’ll direct you so its even.” Your shy smile had any thoughts of scolding you leaving his head, so instead he nodded, turning to the banner in his hand.

“Okay, yeah a bit higher..” you directed it as he lifted it above his head, “no, a bit lower now, okay, a tiny bit higher, like an inch higher - PERFECT! Right there!” Kento stuck the thin foil to the wall where you had directed, and took a few steps back to see it from the same distance as you.

“Hm.. I think its a bit wonky, honey.” You tilted your head at his words, but shook your head.

“No, I disagree. I think it’s perfect.” Your fiancée slid his hand around your waist, pulling you into his side.

“So… are we going to talk about the unpacked elephant in the room?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s so boring! I’ve decided unpacking is only tolerable when I’m doing it with you.”

“So instead you…” He gestured to the room as his words trailed off.

“I decorated for Halloween! We’ve both been saying the place has been a bit lifeless, so I decided to put some life into it!”

“By decorating it with lifeless beings?”

“My ghosts are cute!”

“If you say so.”

“Hey! You were supposed to say ‘but not as cute as you.”

“Oh, my apologies. But not as cute as you.” He drawled, bopping your nose with his fingertip. Only your Kento could make a gesture sarcastic.

“Are you mad that I’ve not done what I said I would?” You asked him sincerely.

He sighed, “no, not mad.” He kissed your temple, “I’m glad you’ve had a better day than I had. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

“But you’re working tomorrow?”

“I worked today. They can spare me tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Like this? You can find my smaus here and my drabbles and other fiics here!

Do you also have a request? You can find my rules for requesting here!

[warping-realities]

Animal I Have Become

Alright, I promised I wouldn’t write any more. But this one’s short and I cranked it out in less than two hours. The inspiration is obvious for anyone who’s a fan of "Karate Kid"/"Cobra Kai," since I just finished the first part of the last season. And for those worried about my studies, don’t sweat it—I was on my work shift, which I never use to study because it seems to attract all kinds of chaos. Anyway! If any quick ideas pop up, I’ll post them, but no more long stories packed with plots for a while.

I only agreed to go back to the place of my humiliation for one reason: Mikey was my best friend throughout high school until he decided, right in our senior year, to join the karate team of the new P.E. assistant teacher. Then, like magic, the skinny kid with a sharp sense of humor who could discuss everything from experimental physics to pre-Columbian American history, the guy I knew so well, was replaced by this arrogant musclehead who struggled with math and was totally incapable of having a history discussion that didn’t revolve around bragging about how today badass America was, and whose idea of a joke involved talking about tits or letting out a stinky fart. Apparently, it was a courtesy of the insane amounts of protein he started chugging to maintain his suddenly beefed-up physique. How the hell was it possible to gain that much muscle in such a short time? Maybe steroids, but the one time I asked about that, I ended up stuck under his stinky armpit. And what was up with that new nickname? “Snake!” How pretentious was that? But apparently, everyone in the group had a “badass nickname.” Ah, the joys of the standard American jock… Still, I tried to hold on to some of our friendship; God, did I try.

I even agreed to join a couple of those damn team practices, knowing damn well I didn’t have the physique, the skills, and maybe most importantly, the real desire to be there. I ended up getting ridiculed by everyone, including my so-called best friend.

I should’ve never talked to him again after that week of “practices.” But, being the idiot I am, all it took was a poorly worded apology full of grammatical mistakes that my brain refuses to recreate:

“Sorry, bro, the sensei got pissed at the guys when he heard their jokes about the size of your… well, you know. He wants you to meet us in the locker room today so we can apologize the right way. If you don’t show up, he’s gonna make us skip training for the whole week. Come on, please, for our friendship!”

… and there I was in that locker room. I should’ve left those morons without practice, but I decided to be the good samaritan.

Walking into that crap hole, what a surprise! It was empty. The pungent stench of sweat filled the room and humidity on the walls made it feel like the locker room was actually a beast whose musk drips off its body after a vigorous workout. But that didn’t matter; apparently, either the coach didn’t give a damn about what happened, which I should’ve figured, since he was just an older version of the ogre crew he trained, or he didn’t even know what went down, and I was about to be the victim of another lame prank.

Thinking about the danger, I quickly turned to leave. Then I noticed… on the other side of the room, hanging on one of the lockers… had that been there before? A piece of red fabric… oh, of course. A red gi from the team; they even gave themselves a pretentious name…. The fight practice was happening right at that moment. It was hard to think about it. I said so much crap about the team on TikTok and Instagram, tarnishing the reputation of the strong and disciplined image they worked so hard to create outside those walls that they probably hated my guts now. All those arrogant alpha dogs were arrogant and obnoxious. What the hell was I thinking trying to fit in? Nerdy little dudes like me didn’t really belong there. Even the jokes about my dick; if I were one of them, I’d just throw a punch or come back with some barbaric, macho comeback and everything would be cool. But I wasn’t like that, and my frustration with all of it was proof of that.

I never really liked the Gi. That red color always seemed way too aggressive, and for some reason, it always looked oversized on me, with sleeves and pants that were way too long and baggy. I had to wrap the belt around me twice just to keep it from falling off my skinny frame. Apparently, it never crossed the sensei’s mind that a little guy like me would have the audacity to try to join his team. Thinking about it, it wasn’t that I didn’t like the Gi; I hated it. It represented everything I despised about that bunch of trolls and also my lost friendship.

I stepped back and slowly turned my head back to the locker with the gi. Did it belong to someone? normally they were used by any of the team's bodies, one size fits all, or almost, when I was still there... anyway... after training they went straight to the laundry before returning for the next training session. Not that any washing would really get rid of the complete animalistic musk that infested their fabric. So why would someone leave it here?

Not my fucking problem. Probably just a spare or something. I think, walking resolutely toward the door, and I crack it open slightly. I turn back. I guess there’s no one using it. That means someone’s gonna grab it soon. Something’s bugging me. But what is it? I get closer, the musk intensifying. That gi definitely isn’t new and hasn’t been washed recently. And what’s this? There’s a note along with it. I sit on the nearby bench to read.

“Sorry, bro, today’s practice was super important, and the sensei didn’t want to wait for you. But he left your gi here. Put it on and come train; this time it’ll be different, I promise. Trust me, for old times’ sake.”

Old times? Maybe… maybe I should give it a shot. God, what a weird thought. Why would I want to do that? But while I’m thinking about it, my feet are already moving me to stand up and head toward the locker, while my hands are grabbing my shirt and pulling it up. I should stop. I need to stop. I should leave now, but the shirt comes off and goes over my head, landing on the floor. My pants are unbuttoned, and soon they join the shirt. I really should stop. Why do I want this? It’d be better to stop, but soon I’m in my boxers holding the gi in front of me. First, I put one leg in... then the other... then the arms, and then the belt… why is it black? I wonder, confused… but then that consuming need fades away.

I look at myself. As always, it doesn’t fit. I look like a kid wearing his dad’s suit at some event. I sit back down on the bench. Alright, that strange urgency is satisfied. So now I can just take this damn thing off!

But I don’t want to, for some strange reason. I feel more comfortable than ever. It’s like that mismatched uniform was made for me. My delicate hands wander over the ill-fitting outfit, the long sleeves sliding down my shoulders. I try to adjust them back into place, but they stop midway as I start to feel the material against my skin. The feeling of power it gives me… the feeling of strength… was it really this good when I was practicing? No, definitely not; if it was, I wouldn’t have quit. Man, this feels amazing... I feel the weight of the gi on me, both real and metaphorical… the weight of what it represents… my hands roam over its wide shape… it’s not just a uniform… it’s an armor… a sacred cloak… this is so cool… I can hear them in the training room… too bad I can’t join them... I wish I could... and they asked... didn’t they? I shift a bit on the bench and let my arms fall to my sides. Weird, I didn’t seem that far from the ground before. I feel cozy; the sweat smell doesn’t bother me, the whole atmosphere feels familiar, even comforting, like coming home after a long day and sitting in your favorite chair. I feel dizzy, like I’m about to fall asleep...

My rational mind, or what’s left of it, doesn’t notice. But unconsciously, I do… my muscles are slowly expanding, my skinny body pushing against the bench while my hands gently massage my slightly protruding belly that’s slowly flattening, the little bit of fat there seeming to be sucked in with every circle my hand makes. My shoulders are also widening, getting broader, as I grunt happily, a tingling sensation creeping up my body.

Feeling that, my eyes suddenly open, a jolt waking me up a bit from that stupor. What the hell was that? I look at my belly, and it’s widening as I’m hit with shock. I’m getting ripped! My hands trace the outline of my abs as the little muscle blocks there grow and harden, turning into six distinct shapes. As I stare at that in fascination, the stupor hits me harder.

The rigid stones of my abs aren’t the only things getting harder. My arms and legs are swelling with new muscle, keeping pace with my ever-growing body. And, well... I gently pat my groin. It’s definitely there too… a solid extra four inches, and still soft… As my body keeps expanding, the sensation turns pleasurable, like scratching an itch that’s been bugging you for ages, so I let it wash over me. My mouth opens in a gasp, drool spilling out as I pant like a dog. For some reason, it’s easier to breathe like this. Maybe because my nose is breaking and reforming a few times without me even noticing? As the drool runs down my pecs, I bring my hand to them and feel them grow, making my hands look tiny in comparison to the two meat packages they become. I shake my hand a bit, sending the drool flying, and with each shake, I see it grow too, turning into a massive paw, perfect for smashing some unsuspecting fool. Looking at that seems… really good… and I laugh. And out of nowhere, the other hand starts growing too, while my feet expand like crazy. My size eight shoes will never fit those paws; what size are they now? 14? Or maybe 15? A good kick with those surfboards and you’re down for the count… cool… hehehe...

No, not cool, not cool at all! This damn outfit is doing something to me! I stand up and grab the gi by the sleeves at my shoulders, ready to rip it off, and then…. I fall back onto the bench, my eyes unfocused again as a sudden wave of pleasure hits me like a tsunami. Yeah, a torrent of testosterone floods my body as my jawline becomes prominent, my chin broadens, and little tufts of freshly trimmed hair cover my chest and armpits. My mouth opens again, drool spilling out as my neck thickens, and my Adam’s apple sticks out, while my forehead becomes more pronounced, with low brows creating a scowl that makes it look like I’m always ready to fight, and my hair gets shaved on the sides, completing the look of a total douchebag. I try to care, I try to fight... fight... good… fights is good... no… not fight like this... I start to lift my arm, now powerful and making the gi look slightly tight… my biceps must be huge… hehhe… then it drops again… I look at my altered reflection in the mirror and see someone who could easily roll with Samue… Snake and the other guys… who knows, maybe now it’ll end… maybe I’ll finally break free from this stupor and get out of here… But then the real nightmare begins, as a web of powerful veins snakes through the swollen muscles of my body, a myriad of intrusive thoughts starts to slowly shape my mind, no matter how hard I try to resist. They break through my defenses with such force that my illusions shatter quickly as I start to forget. Memories of long hours of studying slowly morph into party after party with my friends, working out with them, training with them, watching my body swell and grow; time spent on pop culture becomes time spent watching football, hours and hours perfecting my college resume turns into hours and hours of sweat and sacrifice perfecting my fighting technique to the point of perfection. Just like my friends. Just like the sensei taught us to be. And we owe it all to sensei. Especially since he’s gonna figure out a way to get me into college, get all of us, in every corner of the country, ensuring that his teachings are passed on. Just one of us in any student group or, better yet, a fraternity, and boom, a new crew of brothers ready to spread the word… ha… word… funny… as if we needed to talk… no… our way is the way of the fist!

Shit, I can’t believe I slept through practice! Sensei is gonna rip me a new one! I shouldn’t have hooked up with those hot girls from college with Snake last night… dude, I couldn’t miss that hookup… I’ll just have to take the sensei’s punishment like a man… and I AM THE MAN!”

I stand up and groan, my voice deeper, with a bit of a growl. I turn toward the door, bracing for sensei’s yelling… Eh, screw him. He’ll put on his show about my tardiness, and I’ll play my part as the remorseful kid, and everything will be fine. It’s not like I skipped out or, God forbid, quit the team; I can’t even imagine the things he’d do to a damn deserter. I stretch a bit, admire myself in the mirror… Mad Dawg, you’re so swole… damn… you big, hot son of a bitch!

And then I finally walk toward the training room to join my brother’s in arms. Today’s practice is gonna be awesome; I can feel it, but honestly, it always is; I was born for this.

[sturnlova]

Matt’s long john (M.S)

(Matt Sturniolo x Female reader)

( Warning : Smut, new to writing, not proof read all the way, pet names, breeding kink and other ones, i don’t know what else 😭 )

Matt : Blue

Y/N : Pink

Chris : Orange

Nick : Purple

( Word count : 900)

—————————————————————————

“Next up, we have Matt’s long john” Chris bursted out laughing due to matt’s stunned reaction to Chris’ words.

Me and Nick where in the background as Nick said in a frightened voice “ why would you ever say that” i giggled as i walked past Matt and whispered in his ear “ am i gonna get proof?” Matts ears and checks turned pink due to my words, i just walked away and sat on chair next to Nick waiting for the next donuts.

Time skip

Nick was fast asleep and i was just facing his back on my phone scrolling through TikTok until i got a snap for Matt, it’s not like it was weird for us to text but we didn’t really text on snapchat as i barely used it.

I opened the snap to be shown with a 8 and a half dick with a pink tip and a vein running down the side with matt’s hand holding it, and the text reading “ here’s ya proof” i could hear the Boston accent through the text.

I was still in a state of shock but snapped out of it to slowly make my way to Matt’s room.

I got out of Nick’s room silently and went to Matt’s room forgetting i had the tiniest shorts and a Calvin klein bra.

As i was about to open the door it swung open before my eyes to be meet with matt with dangerously low plaid pants showing his v-line and a happy trail along with no top on.

He grabbed me the waist and kissed me passionately, i started clenching my thigh to attempt to get rid of the growing heat between my thighs.

Matt noticed this and asked me if it was okay to remove my bottoms “ it’s okay Matty, remove my bra well you’re at it, don’t forgot your pants to” Matt removed all of our clothes and threw it somewhere in his room.

He kicked the door closed with his foot and placed me on the bed, he pulled me to the edge of the bed and started fingering me as he whispered praises in my ear.

I just moaned in response, but i needed more than his fingers, “ Matt please fuck me i need it.” and with that Matt added his length to my tight hole stretching me out.

He gave me 30 seconds to adjust but it was definitely not enough time as he started pounding into me” FUCK MATT SHIT YOURE SO BIG, FUCK I DONT KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT” i moaned insanely loud as he cut me off with his fingers that were once in me.

Nick called me, Matt saw this and made me answer the phone to talk to Nick.

“ Y/N are you in Matt’s room FUCKING him?”

Matt continued thrusting in me even though i was on call with his brother.

“ no nick i’m- i’m ju-just in his room .. bec- because you were sleeping and i go- got b.. bored.”

“Ok?? Are you ok you’re stuttering a lot?”

“ I’m o-okay i’m just not really focused, we are w-watching a sh-show”

“Ok well come back soon i still need a cuddle buddy.”

and with that i threw my phone across the room.

“ Good girl, lying to him just for you can get fucked by me, nearly got caught with the way you stuttered. Am i fucking you dumb ma?” “ yes fuck Matt you are.”

He kept on ramming into me, it was a speed i didn’t even know was possible, with every thrust hitting my g-spot i must’ve had 3 orgasms.

He licked the tears that feel from my eyes, and stated “ pretty girl can i fuck my babies in you? make you carry a mini me? you gonna let me fill you up?” He started whimpering as his thrust got slower and i was fucked dumb to the point i was barely able to respond, so i just silently moaned yes in response hoping he heard.

He released in me mixing both of our fluids together as i also came undone underneath him.

As he pulled out our juices started coming out but that didn’t last long since he pushed it back in my sensitive hole making me moan.

“Can’t waste any of it”

Matt carried me to the bathroom and placed me down on the toilet to pee, after i did my business he cleaned me and asked if i wanted a shower “ no thanks i can’t stand i’ll have one in the morning” “ Ok Y/N will you sleep with me tonight?” “of course i will Matt”

Matt changed the bedsheets and put me in his over sized top and some boxers, he put his boxers and pants back on as we laid in bed together to drift asleep.

We were interrupted by Nick coming in “ Y/N i get it you and Matt fuck now but i still need my cuddle buddy, also keep the fuck down kid.”