codeinecraz

[codeinecraz]

you know the movies gonna be fire when Emma Roberts shows up

[codeinecraz]

what a waste of a beautiful ass man

[codeinecraz]

I Love You

felix catton

-In which the reader and Felix are unaware of the twos shared love for each other

UNEDITED (sorry if mistakes)

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You tap your cigarette against the rim of the now empty wine glass in front of you, staring into the darkened backyard of the saltburn estate. You had come here every year for god knows how long to spend your summer break. Now, being in your last few years of college, knew that the yearly summer ritual would be nearing its end for you.

You were sure the catton family were all aware of this as well. Though every one of them cherished your presence over the years. God, you were sure Elspeth would take you in as her own if she could, probably hoping you could provide her own children with some stability.. You loved them all, obviously. It was just clear to all of you that your relationship with them would never be how it once was, and that you would soon part ways to live your own life, leaving them stuck in a life they can’t escape. They didn’t have that privilege like you.

Plus, you had already started to feel like you fell off with them the second the summer had started. There was an odd amount of awkward tension, and you mostly spent your days with Venetia. Very unlike the few past years that you and Felix spent hip to hip. Which sucks, because those were your favorite summers. Sneaking in Felix’s room late at night to hangout, swimming in the lake, lying out in the yard after a long day to watch the sunset. Whatever it was, Felix was always there with you.

He was there when you would cry over your annual new fling from your hometown who made you upset, when you argued with your parents and had no where to go, or no one to talk to. And you loved him. So much.

But who didn’t? Who wasn’t completely enamored with the idea of Felix Catton. Everyone was, and he knew that. So telling him you loved him would have no more importance to him then when another random fling says it to him.

“Dinner is ready downstairs, ms y/l/n.” You are immediately snapped out of your haze when Duncan speaks from the doorway behind you. You gulp and slightly smile, nodding. “Thank you, Duncan. I’ll be right down.” You sigh and push yourself out of the chair, throwing the cigarette in the nearest ashtray.

You sway down the annoyingly long stairs, your ringed fingers gripping the ledge. Your long, deep red satin dress nearly making you trip. You catch Felix’s eye the second you turn the corner and make your way towards the dining room, unaware of his eyes on you. You were effortlessly breathtaking. Your long, silky hair running over your tanned arms, dress perfectly falling over your body, hands and neck lined with gold jewelry, complementing you perfectly.

He was completely devoted to you. The thought of this possibly being your last summer with him completely clouded his thoughts since the summer started. He had waited all these years to tell you how he felt , and now his chance was gone. He continued to watch as you neared the table, pulling out the seat directly across from him. He watched as you greeted one of his mother’s friends who had come for dinner next to you.

Still unaware of his stare, you toyed at the cloth in front of you, waiting for food to be served.

____________________________________________

“So, y/n. I heard from Venetia this might be one of your last few years here, if not last.” Elspeth says as she sips on her wine, snapping you into reality. “We were heartbroken to hear this, but it’s understandable. How long have you come here for summer? I mean it’s had to have been atleast 12 years now, right ?” She laughs.

You nod, “yeah, I figured it’s about time to get out of your guys hair, y’know? Move on and do my own things in life.” You give a small smile and awkwardly swish around your glass. This gets Felix’s attention as he stares up at you without saying anything. “and what would that be?” He speaks out lowly. You furrow your eyebrows as you shift your attention towards him, making eye contact until he looks back down at his plate.

“I’m sorry?” You snapped. Felix makes a face and shrugs. “Just a question. What do you expect your life to be like if you just go on and leave?” He snickers. Elspeth is quick to scold him as you laugh quietly, shaking your head and bring your attention to your plate. You start to zone out as Elspeth changes the subject, but not before taking a quick glance at Felix’s already staring eyes, sending him a dirty look.

You head to your bedroom balcony the second you’re dismissed from dinner, slamming the door behind you. Your eyes well up as you recall Felix’s backhanded comments at dinner. You quickly light a cigarette as you stare blankly into the trees ahead. You didn’t understand him, what had you done to make him so distant. Was it something you had said? Or possibly something someone else had said to him about you? Or maybe he had just grown plain sick of you.

Your face stays blank, but tears continue pouring out of your dull eyes. You wipe them away quickly, embarrassed of how upset he made you feel. You stiffen as you hear the doors behind you open, quickly blinking before whoever it was could see your glistening eyes. Felix stays silent, staring at the back of your head as you hold your knees tight to your chest. After minutes of silence, he moves to sit in the chair next to you.

You watch out of the corner of your eye as he stares at your face, waiting for you to look at him. You won’t, you keep your attention on those trees because you know if you even glance at him you will start crying . He sighs and taps on the ledge in front of him.

“Are you really not gonna come back?” He says so low, it’s practically a whisper. “does it matter?” You shoot back. His head whips your way as he furrows his eyebrows, not speaking until you make eye contact. “what’s that supposed to mean?” He tilts his head.

You don’t answer, just staring at him as the pink sky reflects onto his face. You wish at this moment you could just pull him to you as you cry into his arms, just for one more time. Your eyes well up again, warm tears threatening to pour out. Felix’s heart wrenches as he watches your lips curve down into a frown. You take a shaky breath as you look away. “I’m sorry, y/n. You know I didn’t mean that, there’s just a lot going on right now and when you were talking about moving on it’s just-“ he begins to choke on his words and his voice quivers, “I just wasn’t ready for things to be different, y’know?” He lets out a small laugh as a tear runs down his cheek.

You giggle as yours begin to fall aswell, physically trying to keep a choked sob from coming out. You reach out to wipe his tear away, taking a deep breath. “I just think it’s time for me to move on.” You shrug and focus back towards the tree line. You didn’t want to stop coming, but you didn’t see yourself even having your parents in your future and if you were still coming to saltburn that wouldn’t be possible.

“I know, and I know you. You’re gonna do great things with your life. I hope you know I didn’t mean that at dinner at all.” He says genuinely as he takes your hand in his, squeezing it slightly. “I know, fi.” You whisper as you move towards him, laying your head on his shoulder. You hold him tighter as you hear his small sobs begin to escape. “please” he whispers against your shoulder.

“please what, fi?” You move your head back to look at him. His eyes are now red and puffy, his eyelashes sticking together with tears. He sniffles and pushes his head back into your shoulder. “please dont go.” He sobs. You sigh and smooth his hair, blinking and holding your head up to stop the tears. “I have to” you choke out.

He stands up and wipes his eyes. “You don’t. You can stay here, you don’t have to see your parents. You can just continue your life here.” He moves his hands around as he rambles on, but you just shake your head. “I can’t, Felix. I need to move on by myself and I can’t do that here. I can’t be around them anymore.”

He stares at you silently as you stare into the yard. “I love you” he whispers. You stiffen, the words playing over in your head. “what?” You turn your head towards him. His face remains blank as his tears roll down your face. “felix what?” . He sighs and turns for the door behind him, stepping through back into your room.

His tears continue to flow out as he walks away in defeat, you running after him. He stops infront of your door when you yell his name and turns his body towards you. He forces a smile and shakes his head slightly. “it’s okay y/n. Goodnight.” He says and turns back towards the door. “Felix I love you.” He freezes and removes his hands from the door, turning back towards you. His cheeks stained with tears and his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“I love you Felix. So much.” You cry as you stand hopelessly infront of him, waiting for him to speak. “I don’t know what to do anymore, fi.” You whisper as you rub your eyes with the back of your hands. You hear as he moves towards you and remove your hands from your eyes, looking up at his eyes as he stands directly infront of you, tears still falling out of his eyes.

“Neither do I.” He sighs. You reach your hand up to wrap around the back of his neck, pulling it down to press your lips against his. He kisses you deeply and pulls you tight against him. After a minute pulls away and presses his forehead against yours “I’m so in love with you.” He whispers.

“What are we gonna do?”

[codeinecraz]

JACOB ELORDI- New Year

summary- you and Jacob are celebrating the new year at the club when you get jealous of all the female attention he is getting.

Warning- use of alcohol, cursing, mentions of sex, use of y/n

December 31- 10:49 pm

y/n bent over the cool marble of the table, placing her elbows down on each side of her. She stared at the nearly empty cup of alcohol infront of her. For the past hour, she has been wondering around, filling her cup with every alcoholic beverage she could find. Her and her friends had come to a club that most celebrities attended at to celebrate the new year.

She also had to keep watch of how intoxicated she really got, because too much to drink could lead to one wrong move from her, which could ruin her entire career as an actress. Almost happened one too many times. Plus, she didn’t want to make a fool out of herself. So she continued to stare at the cup infront of her and play with her rings

It wasn’t necessarily boring, but she had been ticked off about something the whole time she’s been here. Her first few minutes at the club, she had spotted Jacob, one of her close friends. Then she looked at all of the woman around him. The worst part was watching him entertain them, buy them drinks, dance with them, or flirtatiously touch the strap of their dress.

Whatever he was doing, it irked her to her core. Her and Jacob weren’t dating, but they were those type of friends that had everyone questioning what went on between them in private. The upsetting part was, not much happened. They met, became close quick, both would flirt and talk for hours on end, and she fell in love. That’s about it. Who knew how he felt about her, he was difficult. There were countless time’s where Jacob would lay with her, or hold her, or hug her, but the kiss that she expected never came.

What she didn’t know was that Jacob felt the same way about her, maybe even more than she did. That night, he was doing everything in his power to get his attention from the second he saw her walk in. He didn’t want to go to her, he wanted her to come to him, to prove to him that she feels the same way about him, but she never came. He watched as she moved around with her friends, and laughed at whatever some guy was telling her, and poured relentless cups of alcohol.

He could have five woman infront of him, flirting and touching or whatever they were doing, but she was the only thing he could focus on. He loved the way her warm brown hair complemented her warm, toned skin. He loved the way her dress fell perfectly over her curves. He loved the way she smiled, even if it was fake. It was never fake around him, he knew that much.

Both were too scared to admit it to one another, so they waited for the other. She hadn’t moved from her spot, zoning out as her friends continued their conversation. When she looked back at the spot Jacob was just at, he was gone. Assuming he had snuck off with some broad he found, she picked up the glass in front of her and finished the last swig almost immediately. She slammed the glass down and ran her fingers through her hair.

Suddenly, she felt a light tap on her ass and spun around quickly, confused but not surprised that some random man would have the nerve to do that. Though, when she turned she was met with no other than the Jacob Elordi looking down at her, a half-drunken smile plastered on his face. He grabbed her hips and pulled her against his body. She pulled away and smiled, taking a minute to observe him. He was wearing a white Ralph Lauren polo, with the first couple of buttons undone, a pair of dress pants, and a random cowboy hat he must have found earlier. His hair was wet with sweat, same with his chest.

It was an attractive sweat, If that makes sense. She thought it made him look hot.. or just hotter than usual. She was brought back to her senses when he tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear and lowered his face into the crook of her neck.

“where’ve you been?” He mumbled against her. She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair. “around, you just get here?” She asked. Obviously she knew the answer to that but she wasn’t sure what else to say. You know when you’re mad at someone but you can’t even tell them why without embarrassing yourself? That’s how she felt. He ignored her question and looked up at her, “are you ignoring me?” he blurts. She furrows her eyebrows. She wasn’t ignoring him, he just wasn’t acknowledging her. “no.. why would you think that?” She laughs.

He half smiles and holds the side of her face in his palm. “I don’t know, just felt like it. Forget I asked.” He said as he lifted her up onto the counter. “Bored?” He tilted his head. She shook her head yes and giggled. He continued a conversation for a few minutes while he stood between her legs, covering underneath her dress while she pressed her dangling legs on either side of him.

While he talked, she stared into his eyes, thinking about what it would be like if they were together. She kept giggling and swaying as he talked, the alcohol really getting to her now. At some point, they had both gotten up to dance. The song “Sex on the Beach” by PARTYNEXTDOOR blaring through the speakers.

He stood behind her and held her against him as they danced and watched as people joked around on the poles. He grinded on her as she pushed against him, one hand against her back and the other holding his drink. She moved away and leaned against the wall, laughing as he started swaying around the pole. He laughed loudly and then closed his lips in to a puckered form as he continued around the pole. She laughed harder, holding her stomache and slowly sliding down the wall. He laughed and moved away from the pole, holding his hand out towards her.

She gladly took it, not even caring to look at all the girls around her staring her down with jealous looks. He pulled her to him so they were chest to chest. He pressed his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “I was waiting for you.” He spoke. “hmm?” You mumbled. “Before. I was waiting for u to come over but you didn’t.” He was hardly drunk, but she thought he was so he wasn’t worried about saying anything embarrassing, as she was drunk too.

“You seemed busy.” She almost scoffed. He stayed silent but made a confused face. “which one you gonna pick?” She motioned her head towards the woman around him, watching as they purposely bump into him and apologize just so they could get his attention, which failed every time. When he realized what she meant he laughed and shook his head. “There’s only one girl, you know that.” He yelled over the loud music, still holding his head against hers.

She giggled and took his glass out of his hand, taking a large sip. “yeah but..” she paused, taking another sip “do you really want her, or are you just drunk?” She asked while she held her other hand against the back of his neck. Their hips swayed in sync as they moved against the beat, the speakers now blasting the song “never be like you” by Flume.

He breathed deeply and smiled “I’ll always want her, drunk or not drunk.” She believed him, she’d believe anything he’d say, but she didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. She laughed and pushed off his chest. “Yeah whatever” she giggled as she walked away from him. He made a fake ‘offended’ face before laughing and following quick behind her. She sat on the short pedestal that the pole came out of. He stood infront of her and she held his hands, playing with his wrings. “Come here” he rolled his eyes after she ignored him trying to pull her up. She pushed her arms higher up in a way to say “get me up”

He lifted her up by the arms, picking her up. her legs wrapped around his body. He used one hand to stop her dress from riding up and the other hand rubbed up and down her back. Their heads were so close that their noses were pushing against each other. Still, she giggled and rotated her head slightly, making their lips come even closer. He pushed his lips against hers, gripping the side of her body. Her hands flew to his hair and lightly tugged. She smiled into the kiss, as he did the same. He pulled away, pulling her bottom lip in his teeth before releasing it and pressing his forehead back against hers.

both stood there, staring into each others eyes and giggling, not paying attention to anyone around them. She hoped that this wasn’t a one time thing, or only happened because he was drunk. She hoped it was forever.