#please someone talk to me about this PLEASE i will literally die
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Arcane theory - The first timeline
Now this might be a bit long so please bear with me. I absolutely loved the ending of Arcane (we win jayvik nation) but there are a few aspects of it that I can’t quite wrap my head around. If anybody has a different perspective than me please do tell I’d love to hear it.
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Now for what I don’t quite understand (I’ve never been good with the logic of time travel)
1. What was the first timeline like? How did the story play out the first time round? Ik time doesn’t work like that and ik about the bootstrap paradox but I’m still so curious. And how did Viktor know Jayce would be the one to save him?
2. How did Viktor know that he was giving Jayce a different rune each time? Is there like some history tab in the Arcane??
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I’ll now try to answer these questions but again it’s all purely my speculation:
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1. What was the first timeline like? How did the story play out the first time round? How did Viktor know Jayce would be the one to save him?
We learn that each time Viktor ends up destroying the world he goes back in time in an attempt to stop himself. He says to Jayce “In all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this (this being the fault of his ideology).” This means he is certain that Jayce is the key to stopping him.
Now as to how he knows it’s Jayce and only Jayce that can free him from his false ideas. I have two theories.
A) He’s literally gone trough ALL other possibilities.
He’s nudged all people in and around Zaun and Piltover in the direction of developing hextech and through trial and error he finds that Jayce is the one. - This has many faults and is more of an idea than a theory
B) In the first timeline that started their loop he had already met Jayce.
If he had already in some capacity come into contact with Jayce and seen his desire to prove himself, his drive and kindness. He would know that that’s the person who’s to be his conquests undoing. - This theory sounds more plausible to me and thus is what I’ll be going with
With this established we can move on to what the first time line was like.
Since Viktor wasn’t there to save his mother, Jayce grows up to be an orphan (I can’t remember anyone ever mentioning his dad). I believe he would still gravitate to becoming an inventor/ scientist, but with no funding he would probably be someone’s assistant or some such.
Viktor wouldn’t have met Jayce so early so he would still be Heimerdingers assistant. Eventually though his illness would start showing and in my mind, Viktor wouldn’t want to die without his life meaning something, without helping the people of Zaun.
I believe he would go see Singed just like he did in our timeline. Singed wouldn’t have the support from Silco like he does in our timeline since there would be no explosion in Piltover, thus no arrest of Vander, thus no death of Vander, thus no Silco leader (presumably).
This would mean that Singed would seek more drastic measures for example hextech. I believe he would have given Viktor some hextech crystals and shimmer, maybe as a part of a deal maybe out of the goodness of his own heart.
I think Viktor would start researching hextech which would perhaps catch the attention of Jayce, leading to them working together on hextech in secret.
As his illness would progress Viktor would again corrupt the core and enhance his leg. This time though since there is no funding for their illegal study there would be no Sky, meaning there would be no accident (don’t even dare to tell me it would kill Jayce I don’t want to even think about that).
If there is no accident then maybe Viktor would use the core on himself sooner. Become the machine herald as he would have no guilt (Sky) making him hold on to his humanity.
If he becomes the machine herald so soon Jayce wouldn’t have much time to talk him out of everything. Not only would there not be enough time to talk, since they met so late their connection wouldn’t quite be what it becomes in our time line.
Jayce would get pretty close though since after Viktor achieves his salvation of the human race and realizes its faults, it’s Jayce who he trusts to save everyone.
Now he would come up with the plan to inspire Jayce sooner, so he develops hextech sooner, so they meet sooner, so Jayce has more time to stop him.
This only eventually works when Ekko buys him more time, otherwise he still wouldn’t have enough time to convince Viktor. (Ekko is the goat fr)
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Now for with the one that makes the least amount of sense to me.
2. How did Viktor know he was giving Jayce a different rune each time?
In episode 9 we are explicitly shown and told that Viktor went and tried all kinds of different runes in hopes that one will give Jayce enough time to save him.
Let’s say he starts with rune A, it doesn’t work so when he’s in the “world rid of humanity’s imperfections” he decides to give him rune B.
Now if it doesn’t work, the Viktor in the past who meets Jayce with rune B becomes the Viktor in the present.
Only problem is new Viktor is here for the first time. He presumably doesn’t have the memories of old Viktor, so how could he know that the rune he decides to try this time isn’t one he’s already tried for example rune A.
How does he know that he’s not already in an endless cycle of going between A and B. Never even trying C.
I believe the only explanation would be that the Arcane is somehow giving him access to all his “past” memories from his past timelines.
Although time doesn’t really work like that. Time is a loop a cycle it doesn’t have an end or a beginning who’s to say that it wouldn’t give him memories of the acceleration rune working.
But I digress since I can’t think of a better solution.
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If anyone actually read it to the end thank you and sorry that it lowkey read more like fanfiction than a theory.
If anybody has literally any other ideas please comment I wanna hear them so bad you don’t even know.
In conclusion going by my theory Jayvik are truly meant to meet in every timeline and Viktor is the direct downfall of Vander and Vanders Zaun. (What a silly guy am I right or am I right)
#jayvik#arcane spoliers#arcane act 3#arcane ending#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce the defender of tomorrow#jayce x viktor#viktor arcane#viktor machine herald#arcane#arcane theory#guys this is my way of coping#I might be delusional so what#my brain has to work so hard to even attempt to understand all this and the implications#it’s entirely possible that im way off#arcane season 2
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Hi are you up for a messy scene analysis thing
Ofc it's this scene who do you think I am
I've been wanting to do this for God knows how long but I never had the balls and neither the words to (still don't) but I wanna try to properly talk about this scene. My primal instinct is to sit here and tell you how much this 30 second scene changed the trajectory of these characters in the next movies, how it made their friendship grow and develop and how much of a storytelling lesson it is (oh the so so deep understanding you need to have of your characters to have them say things so vaguely and still express exactly what they mean). I could also go down the emotional and subjective road and ramble about how much it means to me and how I resonate with it, but I've done that at least 837382 times and I think everyone knows it by now 😭 so!!! Let's get to the real thing
(I'm trying to keep it as analytical and straightforward as possible but please note that this is my favorite scene that's ever existed so neutrality is not really a possibility)
Rocket is a brat. He's restless, he's loud, he's always puffing up his chest and yelling at someone and picking fights with the wind cuz it was blowing in a way he didn't like and he's just an overall bastard. In this scene, though, we see him inside out. His head is low, his shoulders are slumped, he has his tail between his knees and he looks tired. He speaks quietly (curiously like he doesn't want anybody else to hear him), he's not deliberately insulting anyone and he's just..... defeated??
Up until that point I don't think we ever got to see Rocket like that. From what the movies have shown us he'd never had to. But in the past few days that led to this, Rocket had stolen batteries for no apparent reason (which we'll later learn why💀), ruined their ship, got literally kidnapped by Ravagers, blew up a creepy planet-guy-thing and oh my god attended his friend's dad's funeral. At least half of these things were directly or indirectly his fault and he knows it.
I don't think he ever doubted it was (we see it earlier in the movie when the Guardians leave to "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and Rocket scowls and winces like he either stepped in a pile of shit or got hit in the face by regret), but he still argued with Peter even knowing he was in the wrong just to keep up apparences or hold on to a little thread of pride when he was already feeling ashamed for being caught red-handed stealing shit he didn't need AND destroying their ship etc etc, and he just kinda fucked up big time. And I think that's (besides the general exhaustion of parenting a tree and fighting a planet and Yondu's death) is what got him so devastated in that scene.
Ofc Yondu played an extremely important role in that. He was the one to open Rocket's eyes, to give him some sort of reality check and show him the only thing isolation is ever gonna bring him is regret and bitterness (or, in other words, Yondu). Rocket is most of all hopeless and tired and just sad like that because he knows he hurt his friends. He knows he's chasing them away, that he yells at them, that he's always mean and that he steals batteries he doesn't need. He knows he's not awesome to put up with and seeing what happened to Yondu and his former friends probably made him terrified it'd happen to him and the Guardians too. He's stuck in this cycle of pushing them away with everything he can (and we could get into all his trauma regarding betrayal and death and literally endless other things but it's all very clear at this point) and he knows patience doesn't last forever. He's just scared, he feels bad and he's tired.
Now on the other hand we have Quill. He's also destroyed, he lost two fathers (3 if you count what Ego could've been, what he wanted him to be), basically relived his mother's death and had to watch literally every single one of them die. He's also scared and tired, yes, but all he has left is this unstable family of weird idiots who are learning how to show care and he's... pretty much fine with it. He wants it.
And when what Rocket's saying clicks, when he realizes who he's talking about, Quill, who's usually all smirks and teasing and bickering and name-calling, looks at his best friend like this,
because
(From vol 2 script!! Won't even try to comment on that last part before Quill's last line but I also really like that Peter just "shakes his head" over and over like he's just barely listening until he realizes what Rocket really means cuz it also shows a lot about his character. He's naturally a little slow and downright stupid when it comes to this kind of hidden emotional thing and he's also exhausted and depressed from everything that happened and STILL he stops and just. Sees Rocket, and sees Yondu.)
He's not doing well. He's probably sore and hurt and sad and miserable and yet he takes his sweet time to look down at Rocket, let go of his resentment from before and see right through him. In order to understand this scene it's important to remember he most likely doesn't know what Yondu told Rocket at all, he doesn't know anything they said to each other and how Yondu showed him they're mirrors. He doesn't know any of that. He just knows his best friend and his father and how much they resemble each other. He puts up with Rocket's bullshit because he knows how to deal with Yondu.
He could've just ignored him or pretended he didn't know what he was talking about. He could've made Rocket swallow his pride and "teach him a lesson" by making him say what he means without hiding behind metaphors and vague self-deprecation, because Rocket was probably vulnerable and defeated enough to be honest in that moment. And yet, he just looks at his friend, who's usually a loud and mean and restless brat, and is now staring at the floor with his ears droopy and his tail between his knees, and just says, as a form of reassurance and tenderness that's just as subtle and shy as Rocket's insecurities, "Well, of course not."
(The kind and soft and sweet DETERMINATION on his face tho like no!!! No we're not ditching you even though you suck I'm!!! Serious!!!!)
#this is#this is about a 28 second scene#and it has eight p EIGHT PAGES???!!!!???#people dont say “i like this thing” anymore no they write 8 page essays abt it#also i love Quill's not just like “oh nah man”#its a full on OF COURSE not. like undoubtedly and unquestionably youre NOT chasing us away and we dont hate you#normal behavior of a normal person (who is me because i am very normal)#gotg#rocket raccoon#peter quill#yondu udonta#guardians of the galaxy#rocky and pete#BATTERIES!!!
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I'm about to lose it— Is this not just perfect for all of the suffering blorbos? The ones who have faced so much hardship that their skin has all but turned to iron? The ones who have fought for so long and so hard that they have forgotten what peace is like? Does this not perfectly encapsulate the moment when the reader finally reminds them that they are still human? I'm crying—
[Transcript of the highlighted part: (he) pulled you down beside him in the tall grass and touched you in that heady, secret way that transformed the brutal weapon of your body into mere flesh.]
#Six Deaths of the Saint#i'i'm gonna THROW UP#off the top of my head i can think of jason todd and bucky barnes and diluc and GOJO SATORU#THE NEED to write a gojo x reader with him as the saint of war is he not perfect for the role#please someone talk to me about this PLEASE i will literally die
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i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#idikei#idicay#cereal tries to draw#i love any fanart of board game club and their bitch ass crushes jdslhffkjg teeheehee#cater and jamil can get along fine but board game club is incapable of behaving#they have to drop everything to bully the shit out of each other given the chance!!!#jamil does this with azul also. tbh i think it would be a war immediately and caters like HaHa Oh My GOd. ??!!?#cater actually it's hard to say bc sometimes hes like HUH!!!! CHILL OUT!! but other times hes a shady little freak of a guy and enables#things so like whose to say. maybe if hes in a silly mood he would join idia and jamil and it would be 3v1 rip azul it was nice knowing u#the rng of if they get peacekeeping caycay or mischievous caycay#it feels like it has been a While since ive really sat and drawn them...#i have had a lot going on <///3 and then all draw time is spent on art fight rn but. small break For Them#do u even understand me. do u see my vision. i want to put all four of them in an escape room#bundle them together and observe them under a microscope#god i just LOVE how any time someone in twst talks about another character it's always either like#yes this is a good respectable classmate of mine who i admire. or I HATE THAT BITCH HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS ACTUALLY!!!!#and then the haters are like best friends who hang out always jfdksljflkshg#but theyd rather DIE than ADMIT IT!!!#bitch boys who only respect each other when they dont know each other too well ig fjldksfh#board game club being god tier haters nonstop of each other is so fucking funny im literally obsessed with whatever they have going on#anyway!!! I WANT THEM TO HANG OUT MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment
Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.
And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency
Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.
Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b merciful….#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I don’t want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog 😭#This’d be a different topic but. I don’t think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so i’d say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even then….. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God i’m fine. I’m so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesn’t align with ours obvi but#‘Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?’ What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc they’re undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood 🤔 or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ‘but every demon likes to drink blood’ power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesn’t belong as a devil??? bc he’s suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought that’s all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#There’s a lot more i’d have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and i’ve seen a take that the ‘my friend at a farm’ thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. It’s a perfect allegory but it can be both
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Got to season 7 on my CSI rewatch and I need to talk about the final scene in s07e11, where Grissom is saying goodbye to Sara before leaving to go on his sabbatical. I mean, look at him. Look at what he does with his hands. *Agressively* Look at himmmmm. He's just a little puppy in love. And he does this right before whispering, "I'll miss you". I'm afraid I'm not gonna make it y'all
#sadly he whispered the last line so quiet and gently the captions didn't catch it but i'm glad i did#he's SO FUCKING SWEET#can't believe i'm bawling my eyes out over a middle aged man doing cute kawaii hand thingy#i wanna marry him so bad#like i wanna put a ring on his finger and i want to have meals with him and do house chores with him#and watch tv on the couch with him until we both fall asleep but i wake up and put a blanket over him#i want to make him hot chocolate#i want to listen to him talk about bugs even though most of them gross me out#i will literally DIE if i don't marry gil grissom#“oh but he's fictional” LIKE THAT WILL STOP ME#i will be thinking about this scene for the rest of my life#how sara didn't drop everything and made out with him right then and there is beyond me#i mean they could've closed the door right. ever heard of making out at work? fuck the rules#you're already breaking one by dating in the first place#csi#gsr#please someone talk to me about the hand thingy please it's been hours i have not recovered
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Mmh, ship so good, it's actually illegal! 😩👌
#the amount of times i screamed 'kiss kiss kiss' in my head at this part though#the fast disappointment i felt when alice in fact did not kiss our night constipated cereal boy#that name is hilarious actually I'm using that from now on#has no one ever noticed how goofy these names are#dis dude is named after someone that is named after a time of day and takes the last name of a cereal that helps you poop#is that not weird to you guys#anyways heck it with HutterxChelsea we got another crack head ship in this house#AlicexNight is the one to die for now#I've literally been shipping them for months now#it's my club since i started it so welcome to my club#please talk to me about AlicexNight since no one wanted to talk to me about HutterxChelsea#the ship started off as a joke but it's on fire now#ron kamonohashi deranged detective#deranged detective#ron kamonohashi forbidden reasoning#ron kamonohashi forbidden deductions#deranged detective: ron kamonohashi#kamonohashi ron no kindan suiri#ron kamonohash deranged detective spoilers#ron kamonohashi forbidden deductions spoilers#ron kamonohashi forbidden reasoning spoilers#night bran jr#alice moriarty
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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discourse protip: if you made an entire blog dedicated to telling a group of people they either don't exist or don't actually experience oppression, you're probs on the wrong side of things. just by and large
#its funny how literally every time i stumble on a new discourse its bc of someone being like#'(XYZ) FUCK OFF YOURE NOT REAL (KSJFKSNF)' and then i look up the xyz tag and its all ppl being chill talking about their experiences#and then you go to the ksjfkdjfkd tag and its all XYZ DIE XYZ SHUT UP XYZ GO AWAY XYZ YOURE NOT REAL#like. i try very hard not to fall into like. sides vs sides mentality even tho i do use that word a lot bc its the best one we have#but at a certain point its just like. ok one of these groups is saying 'hi please acknowledge i exist' and one of them is saying#'you existing is harmful to me (citation needed) therefore you dont exist'#like obviously there is nuance beyond what im saying here for this post but like. by and large its all the same#so ig thats what makes it so exhausting every time someone tries to be like#no no but THIS time the exclusion is good you guys trust me bro#like that one tweet#origibberish
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first of all, the duffers absolutely didn't have the full series planned out from the start because Stranger Things was originally pitched as a limited series with 1) the potential for a direct "sequel" that would follow the younger kids as adults (basically, they pitched "It") or 2) an outright sci-fi horror anthology. second of all, even if the duffers did have everything mapped out from the start that doesn't mean that plan isn't garbage.
#strangerthoughts#sorry ST reddit is driving me INSANE. please crawl back out of the duffers' asses#these guys literally lost the plot back in S3 and course corrected so hard that everyone collectively experienced whiplash#if they had any kind of plan in mind it definitely wasn't until after S2#I would argue it wasn't until after S3 tbh#like. S1 was definitely intended to stand alone#S2 was a direct continuation that only happened because netflix saw the show as profitable#and the duffers scrambled to yeet something out in a little over a year#which is why the justice for barb plot is a thing and el's plot is so disconnected from the rest of the season#they had no idea what to do with her when she was SUPPOSED TO DIE#S3 feels like the duffers pitched an anthology season and netflix said no#like. I could have liked S3 as a standalone campy action comedy#but it being a wacky season in the midst of non-wacky seasons makes me wonder what the duffers were smoking#and if the duffers had a solid plan for vecna before S3 I'll give them my left kidney free of charge#because S4 is a messy season. they crammed things in there that did not need to be crammed in#they bloated the cast and clearly had no idea what to do with 75% of said cast#and when I talk about the episodes being too long I'm directly referring to how in the last episode the kill vecna crew are being#STRANGLED BY VINES and PINNED TO A WALL for like thirty minutes straight#at that point someone should have suggested they reevaluate what they just wrote. because what they wrote sucked#I genuinely don't think the duffers will ever be show runners again#I think they'll continue to direct. which they are pretty good at. but I don't see them ever writing anything majorly successful again
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Honestly fascinated learning more of the fanon vs canon going on here. Truly tempted to read Tim's comics just to see the extent of what's been done to him
#i wont however. unlike jason tim doesn't die for like 17 years#lot more to try and work through#dc liveblog#update: just finished 442. funky little guy#theyre trying real hard w the new robin this time around. as much as i love jason#i will easily admit he doesn't have too strong characterization#its fun to analyze the details and small bits and what they could mean. but overall if you asked me to describe robin jason id struggle#a shame! but theyre definitely working hard with tim now#anyway yeah fanon is wild#im not rly gonna read anymore tim comics so very real and genuine question here. where does tim liking jason even come from#literally only talks about jason when talking about how his death affected bruce. otherwise its all dick#fanon im holding you by the shoulders please explain yourself to me im so desperately confused how you got here#BEST i can think of. and im just saying stuff here. is that it partially formed out of a want for anyone to like jason??#bc nocturna and harvey were the closest characters he was to and they disappeared after the retcon#and it is easy to say dick was bruces favorite#jason didn't have the chance to join any teams. so maybe the fanon was born of a desire for someone to mourn and look up to him????????????#extra angst for the tower??#idk man
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It's such a tiny innocuous thing that really doesn't matter, but I feel like calling duel monsters a children's card game (when it's fundamentally baked into everyday life, and your social existence is judged by what you play and how you play it so very intensely, for everyone in-universe) is an absolute injustice to what it is for that universe of people.
#marwospeaking#The following tags are a rant. please skip if you are not interested in reading a whole rant#to be clear. actual real life ygo sure. you can call that a children's card game (even if card game is just easier anyway)#but. in universe you Would Not call it a children's card game. not even sure you'd call it a game at that point#ygo worldbuilding fascinates on different levels. and to be honest this thought came to be via the abridged Shun compilation video#because he does mention children's card game (paraphrased) often earlier on in reference to in-universe duel monsters#but. for some people it literally defines if you die or not (Shun Was/Is In A War). for others it's your ticket to not go to jail because#you're too powerful to not be let off the hook (survival of the fittest kinda stuff really)#if you even dare not show up to a match. with crowds Equal To A Football/Soccer Championship. your family is in social ruins (Yusho)#these cards house spirits. and can be used for so many varied things between ending the world. starting the world. and coldblooded murder#and treating all of that as though its below a character. not because they're untouchable. but because of an age demographic#I feel misses a point about Arc V that I'm not sure I can quite articulate without sounding fully manic#in other series too! Synchro causes the world to end because it attracts some giant anti-synchro bois (meklords)#Numbers can either possess or take the form of someone's personal desires and feelings (Titanic Moth and Hope Harbinger are the same card)#(just different monsters because two different people used the exact card)#The God cards. the sacred beasts. the whole of GX's dimensional shenanigans and most definitely Yubel and Winged Kuriboh#Even in Vrains. which is very mild compared to the previous 3 installments. its still baked in their society. Its just aggregated#into cyberspace. That's not mentioning the Tortures that revolved around duelling to train AIs on children's brains so you could have..#.. cyber immortality. and then you choose to kill the AIs that you see as like children to you - mentioned directly to your biological son#ANYWAY. tldr. Having an in-universe character calling Duel Monsters a children's card game outside of DM specifically is a fundamental..#.. misunderstanding of how important it socially is in-universe. and it'd be much more understandable for someone whose life isn't dictated#by how well he can play it to say anything along the lines of 'its beneath me!!' than fuckign Kurosaki Shun are you kidding me.#We won't make an actual point at how the social lives of people don't seem to be solved by talking as much as duelling. no. we'll say..#.. its for children so we can point and laugh at how weird it is!! Buddy I Have Fallen Asleep.#in other news exploring the navigation of a world where talking out problems would be weird without a duel to communicate should be..#.. done way more often. This world is as anti-talk no jutsu as much as it is very pro-punch no jutsu.#arc v#< because part of this was inspired off of some of Shun's abridged lines early on
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my schedule and my classes are so fucking awful and i am filled with more contempt and vitriol than ever this year
#cannot even begin to complain on the level that my art teacher deserves this year but by god i will try#first she starts with a ban on headphones and earbuds LIKE GIRL!#what do you mean for me to listen to. the sound of every possible obnoxious junior in one class#the ugly fucking rich white boy senior#and the girl who likes to take embarrassing photos of everyone including her friends and post them on instagram#AND her repeating the same few directions every single day for 30 minutes because she loves the sound of her own voice??#second the way she talks actually just pisses me off#she is a worse speaker than me which is saying something she will just go on and on and on#someone will ask her a question and she will mention like 5 famous artists like theyre obscure and as if high schoolers know who they are#WE GET IT!! YOU WENT TO RISD!! YOU KNOW WHO BAUHAUS IS!!#its so pretentious and not helpful at all and she will take the other hour and a half to only talk to one of her favorite students#no one asked. no one is going to google fucking mondrian okay please be realistic#shes both so serious and so silly. this class is a college level course if you dont think u can do it switch to choir#also every senior has to have a direction and a theme for the rest of the year regardless of whether youre even taking the test#fucking bitch do you think anyone has a choice its literally impossible to switch in high school#i would literally much rather be singing the national anthem or whatever i would do anything to escape the idea of having a THEME#i am not going to develop deep involved ideas in three classes and you should go die if you think i care enough to be drawing for school#outside of class time. i am literally cooler and already a better artist than you are#if you would like to talk about cliches in art i will pull up your ugly basic portfolio right now you dick#never met anyone less suited to being an art teacher i hope the school burns down#im not suicidal im not a suicidal person but every time i have to be in that room all my will to live just is lost#she hates me personally too she's always on my ass about anything and everything and also will not help me if i do ask#like what does she want me to do about it? take initiative? if i wanted to develop as an artist i would not be listening to her#she said she wanted 50 hours a week outside of class. i Wil shoot myself by the way. top ten people i would blame in my suicide letter.#honestly i can deal with first period PE i can deal with having that ugly rich white boy in my chem and my cs and my lit and my civics but.#art class.#god i hope he dies too instead of any of the 7 people i like at this school in any of my classes i have a mansplainer#anyways i feel a mild cold and my period coming on im normal i prommy#also every time i step into the school building i get a headache#its like the deodorant perfume cologne combined with the stench of everyone having mandatory pe for 5/6 years
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never in my life have i acted this way about a man bro like. why am i sitting here thinking about all the girls that like him and feeling violent. literally something wrong with me
#they’re not even like. real girls I’m straight up inventing them#the problem is i know he’s very social and likable…. he could literally talk to someone and it would work#why can’t i be in love with a loser please#actually i would not be crazy if i didn’t see him like his ex’s selfie#which is also my fault for looking at her account#he’s not even my boyfriend bro like I’m just crazy 😭😭😭#thinking about his ex makes me insane…. it feels insane also to refer to her as his ex#it’s been three weeks literally#but he liked her selfie and obviously he still has all the photos of her in his phone like#she’s so pretty and obvs like. to date her he was attracted to her#but we look so different and she’s so much prettier than me#I’m fr tweaking#i do know him by the way this isn’t like a stranger#he’s my best friend and we’re very obsessed with each other i just don’t know if he’s obsessed with me like that#he acts like he likes me but how can i be sure….#he acted like this when he was still dating her too and maybe he wants like#maybe he wants a post break up hoe era#i think i would die like that would kill me#it’s so horrible like. before it wasn’t a possibility#there was no competition he was with her for five years of course I’d lose#but now it’s like. everyone is my rival#��話
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why not mewhynot me whynotme whynotMEwhy Not Mewhy not me whynot me whynotme Whynot me WHYNOTME why not me. why not me
#irls please dont read this. sorry#im so overwhelmed rn. and i fucking feel like im going to die#like yes we all know im soooo unlovable that nothing new but god. i just want to be intimate and have someone be my safe space again#i KNOW its unhealthy and its not like its ever gonna happen again. but its all i can fucking dream of#i wwnt to be all someone thinks about just like how i always think about them. maybe i just want to be equals in a relationship. because#CLEARLY my last relationship i was the only one feeling anything!! and CLEARLY I PUT ALL THE FUCKING WORK IN AND I LOVED SO HARD. AND#IT WASNT EGEN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IT WAS THE HEALTHIEST ONE IVE EVER BEEN IN. BUT IM STILL TOO MUCH 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#even now i cant think about that too much because i literally think were soulmates. and its Too Upsetting to think about that#when she broke up with me and said ‘i had a lot of fun with you’. we dated for 11 months. you met my family. donyou know how mucch ghat#CRUSHED me#i was doing so well. and i was having healthy relationship thoughts! and i was telling myself that i was just insecure those last few weeks.#and then i fucking spiraled OF COURSE I SPIRALLED.#hahahahahaha im not even talking about the other thing i think ill really kill myself if i think out that at all#whatever i dont even have time to be having a breakdown right now!! haha hahahaah i literally cant imagine making it to the end of this week#jace.txt
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