#please say I'm not alone on this
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Do you ever get that sad feeling when listening to TNDNBTG because you know what's going to happen? You know how this story goes. There's nothing you can do to stop it and you will feel every second of it.
#sleep token#vessel#sleep token vessel#the night does not belong to god#soul crushing#i'm in my feels#sleep token band#sundowning#it feels like my chest is caving in but in a good way#please say I'm not alone on this
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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i like to imagine that as soon as the words "someone arrived today, they said they're taking you away" left calypso's mouth, odysseus "sat at the beach every day for 7 years crying for his wife & son" of ithaca immediately jumped up wiped his tears away
then swiftly (without a glance at calypso), walked over to a bush/foliage near the beach and grabbed all the stuff he had been accumulating for 7 years during his prison stay, ready for the day he can leave this place.
#listen i adore/love the songs and especially wangui's beautiful singing voice#but i'm sorry#i don't like calypso#yesssss i get she says she's been alone for 100 years+#but at the same time you have a man crying about how he just wants to get back home to his wife and son#and you're still like#why in the world won't you love me too?#ma'am please#sorry i don't mean to rant#please don't yell at me if you love calypso!#i'll cry#as i said i still love the song tho#i know this isn't meme-y like my other posts#but i had to get it off my chest#odysseus epic#calypso epic the musical#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga
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#this is a cry for help please i have loved this clown for over a decade#When Bruce says “I can fix him” I completely understand & not bc I want to fix him#but bc despite all the atrocities he has committed you can't help but feel compassion for him#Joker constantly struggles to not let himself be seen vulnerable but when he does oh God it breaks my heart#I wouldn't know what to do if I were aware that I'm being doomed by the narrative & i had no escape even in death#to have a fate as tragic as being forced to become a myth#a monster who abandons all traces of humanity to make sure that someone else never abandons his#A lonely man who lives in a world of the dead and must do as much harm as possible to the only living person before his eyes#After all horror and obsession leads backs to love. oh god imagine loving as much as he does#Love as something twisted as a source of tragedy and death as an addiction a wound that never stops bleeding and hurts more every day#All you want is to be free#But someone else is holding on to you and will never let u go bcz he is afraid of being alone#and without you the weight of the world he carries on his shoulders would kill him he needs u as much as u need him#both are going to drown together#anyways hahaha i luv this stupid clown#joker#the joker#batjokes#bcz i got carried away writing the tags :p
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Hot take:
I wouldn't mind too much if Caleb wasn't a dateable character. I know the game description says he's a 'childhood friend' and him and the MC being 'taken in' by grandma was probably like, in an orphanage way not an adoption way.
But hear me out. The sibling dynamic between these two. They're the siblings who are
"You are 100% my ride or die, I would walk through hellfire for you." but also "no officer I've never seen this person in my life."
Also I want to see protective nii-san Caleb just staring down Xavier and Rafayel because,
"what makes you think you're good enough to date my sister—"
To Xavier: "—you can't cook, you sleep like a koala, and you have a tendency to disappear under mysterious circumstances."
To Rafayel: "—you're literally a fish."
and giving Zayne SO much shit for taking so long to admit his feelings for MC.
#I'm sorry I had to say it please don't come for me I... well I don't really have a family to look after and I live alone but still#it's just an opinion it's not the end of the world for me when he becomes dateable I just wanna see how they bring him back from the dead#notice the complete lack of an 'if' in my last sentence#love and deepspace#caleb love and deepspace
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the rapture
it's a holy thing, in theory, a glorious celebration, where those who believe rise to meet the lord in the air. it's a day of joy, in theory, and maybe even of vindication for those who have always believed.
but no one thinks about how it's like to see the dead rise again—bodies clawing their way out of bolted wood and six feet of packed earth, bodies decomposed and maggot-feasted, nails stained with rot and dirt. no one thinks about the violent lurch of their bodies being jolted into the air by the stomach, gravity flinging their heads back down to earth as they struggle in vain to find footing on molecules and gas. no one thinks about those who don't make it.
no one thinks about the screams.
crowley hadn't thought about any of these things. he certainly hadn't thought about the angels that would be called back to heaven along with the believers.
here they stand dead in the middle of absolute ruin, the promise of heaven the only thing left to look forward to on the wasteland of this earth. the sky has opened up like the eye of god, watching over her people for the very first time, and crowley's black wings against the beams of light only remind him that he doesn't belong up there with the rest of them. crowley wraps his arms tight around aziraphale, squeezes his torso like he can maybe keep aziraphale with him through sheer will or, laughably, demonic intervention. like love could ever be enough. like love could stay.
around them, the cacophony of wails and mockingly exaltant trumpets scorch the earth in their intensity, clashing and agonising even—especially—for them, and words make no sound. but they hold on to each other, even as they shrink into themselves against the noise of the undying. i don't want to leave you either, aziraphale doesn't say, but his hands dig into the cotton of crowley's sleeve, and crowley hears the words through his fingertips.
he feels a stronger upward resistance against his embrace now, and he clings tighter, steadfast, even as aziraphale's grip falters. but he knows he can't hold on forever. he knows that nothing ever lasts.
trembling with something unspeakable, he lifts his arms from aziraphale's torso and covers the angel's ears with his hands. he feels more than hearing aziraphale's resulting sob, and he spreads out his wings to wrap them around their bodies. a shield, a comfort, a goodbye.
it's okay, the gesture says in silence. i'll see you in another lifetime.
#fearandhatred#fearandart#fearandfics#i usually don't say this but please zoom in i'm begging this took Effort#if the style of aziracrow looks really different from the background it's because i didn't know what i was doing#like literally don't even ask me how i did this bro i have no idea#also i know i wrote about crowley's wings but i would have rather died than drawn wings again so. leave me alone#this was originally gonna be just crowley and aziraphale in this pose inspired by cabin in the woods with no extra context#then eybe saw the wip and was like None of them are dying in this right. Right leanne. Right#so i said hey why not#i've had the rapture drawing idea in my notes app for a longgg time so i decided to combine the two#and then i wrote this snippet in the next 20 minutes#so thank u eybe#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#good omens fanart#good omens art#good omens fanfic#good omens ficlet
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Dean Winchester of Supernatural fame is NOT reading parenting books he is putting on Cheaper By The Dozen, Daddy Daycare and Honey I Shrunk The Kids taking notes.
#i woulda said full house but dean's more a movie guy than a tv guy#it doesn't help. btw. lol.#if dean read a gentle parenting guide he would scoff and roll his eyes and throw it across the room#and eventually start silently weeping if he was convinced to keep going bc HE was a kid and HE didn't get treated with respect or gentlenes#dean in an argument with those mommy bloggers he follows saying something like 'please. i was left in a motel room with my brother#from like age 7 upwards I think little Timmy will be okay in the car by himself for 3 minutes 🙄“#and someone hits him with 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' and he tries to brush it off all day and complain about it to Sam#and Sam's like. yeah it was kinda fucked up though. and Dean's like WELL I KNOW THAT BUT HE WAS DOING HIS BEST#(not fully believing it bc he certainly can't picture leaving a 7 year old alone in the world they live in no matter what)#(and Dean's never fully actually agreed with their dad but he feels attacked by Sam's agreeing)#(but old habits run deep)#cawis creates
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Something I think about a lot is the order in which the Strawhats joined, how that affects their relationships, and how we as a fandom perceive them (this is about the Romance Dawn trio and Sanuso, by the way).
Zoro and Nami were the first two to join Luffy. The Romance Dawn trio. Luffy's first mate and Luffy's navigator. Luffy's anchor and Luffy's compass. He would not know what to do if something happened to them. And of course he loves all the Strawhats. Of course he does. But there's just something about Zoro and Nami that it's personal and intimate in a different way. It's not that they're more important to Luffy, but they're their special people. Their main two. His specialest boy and his specialest girl. Whatever. The thing is that, if we consider this inside the East Blue crew, it just makes sense that Sanuso were so close at the start.
I'm always mentioning how much I miss pre-ts Sanuso because they had more scenes together, whether I referred to background silly scenes or important, character-driven ones. But it's quite literally because they were the only two left. Let me explain:
Sanji has this thing about not wanting to take up much space. Like, his whole personality is to serve and please others, and he isn't used to taking what he wants. Usopp is an anxious mess and he thinks he doesn't deserve to be where he is because he assumes the others are stronger and better than him. They just naturally feel out of place. And they're sharing a ship and an adventure with three other people that, apart from knowing each other before meeting them, they take up so much space in the world without a care. They're shamelessly taking what they want. Slicing people in two, stealing, becoming kings. That leaves Sanji and Usopp in a place of-- Not really loneliness, that's their family now and for once they feel like they belong somewhere but, y'know, they belong without feeling like they deserve it.
I think Sanuso works so well, too, because of their numbers. Usopp was the third one to join. Sanji the fourth. Usopp joined when the Romance Dawn trio was already a thing and he actually hesitated about joining them. And Sanji then met them when they were already like, an actual crew and not just some idiots (well, they are. But y'know, at least four people is better than just two). That thing about 'three's a crowd' and all that? Well, I think there's just some sort of barrier between the Romance Dawn trio and Sanji/Usopp. Not really because, again, they have their own bonds and it works in different ways and the East Blue crew is extremely intimate but please tell me you see what I mean. The Romance Dawn trio wouldn't be a thing if I wasn't right here.
So Sanji and Usopp bond for being the third and the fourth and I think the fact that they don't feel like they belong in the place they should feel at home the most just shows that they just... Feel like they don't belong anywhere. Except when they're together. They're alone together. I think that's why they work so well.
#please tell me you get what i'm trying to say here#there's just something about them being alone together#feeling like they don't belong except when they are next to each other#not wanting to take up space in the world#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#romance dawn trio#east blue crew#one piece
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Since I'm back in my teen wolf obsession after the movie I'm just gonna say it. The vitriolic hatred for both Scott McCall and Tyler Posey was just fucking racism. There was literally no reason to hate them so much and every excuse I've seen people have for hating Scott is that he didn't center himself around Stiles (his white friend) more.
Scott McCall's only flaw was that he loved his friends too much and he was too trusting and forgiving of people.
I'm all for ship and let ship but Tyler is right about Sterek being weird. Stiles was a minor and Derek was at least 20-23 and as a former Sterek shipper who has seen the light. I don't blame Tyler. Y'all got hella annoying with that ship.
Sterek was never queerbait
Stiles and Derek did not like each other. They only tolerated each other because of Scott. Derek literally says he only came back to beacon hills for Scott. Y'all let Dylan and Tyler Hoechiln convince you otherwise.
Also people hating Scott is another case of white people having this weird issue with not being able to relate to a poc character because y'all literally take all of Scott's traits and give them to Stiles (because mostly I only see white people hating him and a few people of color)
The "iconic" baseball batt and red hoodie y'all love to give Stiles is literally what Scott was wearing in episode 1 of Season 1
EDIT: I'll also never forgive you FREAKS for bullying Tyler Posey after his mom died and said it was karma for saying sterek is weird. You people are fucking sick, disgusting pathetic excuses of a human being--no you're not human. You're literal scum for doing that.
Stiles and Dylan O'Brien were not the face of Teen Wolf. It is Tyler and Scott. Hell for example the sims 3 Supernatural. The werewolf on the cover looks like season 1 Scott.
I LOVE Stiles but those certain Stiles fans have put a sour taste in my mouth for the character.
Also the "Scott McCall is a bad friend" tag is so dumb cause Stiles and every other character on that show would laugh in your face if you tried to tell them that
#I'm tired of seeing Scott and Tyler hate in the teen wolf tags#leave that man alone#just say you're racist and go#scott mccall#teen wolf#stiles stilinski#derek hale#tyler posey#dylan o'brien#tyler hoechlin#teen wolf mtv#long post#Sciles#Anti Sterek#usually i dont care to put anti tags but Sterek shippers need to stop being delusional#also can we please get more Scott x Stiles fics that don't have Sterek PLEASE#pro tyler posey#pro scott mccall#sterek#anti Tyler posey#anti scott mccall
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Me: I want to talk about Louis de Pointe du Lac in the books and how he's constantly haunting the narrative whenever Lestat is the narrator, even when he's not physically present or Lestat isn't even consciously thinking of him, because Lestat is actually always thinking of him and remembering him and using him as his humanity compass, and...
The tiny rational part of me: can you PLEASE go to bed, you'll write a love letter to Louis once you've had more than 4 hours of sleep, I am begging you, your eyes are burning, your neck is aching, you're starting to get a headache and you're being slightly delirious.
Me: but Louis.
Rational me: LATER.
Anyway I love Louis and I love how Lestat completely adores Louis and I love how every single vampire of the Court, from the most ancients to the youngests, know that they belong together and no one should ever try to separate them.
Also Louis noping out of the entire drama with Amel and those clone guys to go peacefully read in his crypt far away from the entire drama is so FUNNY AND RELATABLE, like same mate, saaaame, I'm good reading about it, don't wanna live it, no thanks.
#rapha talks#rapha reads#the vampire chronicles#prince lestat#prince lestat and the realms of atlantis#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#anne rice#books#i swear louis is the only vampire with brains in this entire world#homeboy definitely understood early one that he should only deal with his own business and stay away from the insanity#or should i say he went insane in the 70s and kick-started an entire societal revolution and he didn't like that one bit#so now he'd rather be left alone to his own device and honestly he's so right#his only flaw is that he's entirely devoted to lestat but like. who can blame him.#but yeah he's the ghost he's rebecca haunting the manor and guiding the story even when he's not there#no wonder anne rice identified herself as being him or him being her i understand i understaaaaaand#oh man can someone take me out please#my mind does not want to shut up i'm tired of myself#anyway#i love louis#that's it that's the post
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s5 episode 7 thoughts
(voice cracking) hey guys. how are you doing? because i’m fine. actually super incredibly fine. have never been better, in fact. (heavy on the /s)
this episode feels so final, in a way. there is before this episode and after it, and there is no going back. and we have had plenty of those episodes that involve a shedding of innocence, but we’ll reach a point where you think, surely it cannot get worse than this. and you’ll never guess what happens next: somehow, it does.
sniffs. scully always chooses love, bro. and mulder chooses her and therefore chooses love. and they choose each other. and they deserve to be happy, to be a happy little family.
take me back to around 14 hours ago, when i pressed play on this episode immediately after watching the previous one, not even bothering to make this writeup until now, because i was too invested:
okay. so yes. i broke my rule and i’m watching this episode right away. and yes i feel sick. (author’s note to past self: girl if you felt sick then imagine how you feel now LMAOOOO)
“it begins where it ends…. in nothingness. a nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to me unguarded” <- girl what are we opening with? she's in these black robes, striding across sand...
is she looking at death itself??? again?? how many times must this happen??? is SHE death itself???
she picks up her necklace… and declares herself alone, as ever. but you're not alone, scully!
bum bum bum bum… intro time…
mulder, please come and provide emotional support if nothing else. you are desperately needed
YES, HE IS HERE!!!!!! he is watching scully watch emily color.
OHHHH MY GOD. hold on. she introduces him to emily as her friend, and he immediately is making funny faces to get emily to laugh. stop. i need to be sedated.
he notices her cross necklace on emily. and he doesn't say anything but he doesn't need to, because that says enough. the cross that hung from his neck when she was gone, returned to her as she returned to life, and now placed around the neck of this little girl.
he had frohike hack into the system to find her surrogate mother omg… frohike is an ally… her birth mother is named anna fugazzi…. fugazzi is a slang term for fake??? he thinks they made a whole fake profile to hide her origins??
oh my god….
mulder is telling her that being around emily is incredibly dangerous; whoever it was that killed her adoptive parents would clearly go after her next. “i can protect her, too” “yeah, but who’s gonna protect you?” <- PLEASE KILL ME IT WOULD HURT LESS
“i’ve considered that, but i‘ve also considered that there’s only one right thing to do” <- ohhh, scully and her Need to do the Morally Correct Thing……… it’ll haunt me forever. she's willing to drop everything she has in her life to give this child a better life. and she didn't even knew she existed until a few days ago.
man, i miss s1 sometimes. bitch take me back…
HE CAME TO TESTIFY AT HER HEARING TO ADOPT HER??? and he says he shouldn’t have come because he doesn’t want to see her hurt like emily's adoptive parents were 😭😭😭 but he did. because he supports her through anything. and he knows that this poor little girl was never supposed to happen.
this man is nervously cracking sunflower seeds outside the hearing room. and bill is glaring at mulder like he didn’t just fly down here to save the day. fuck him for real.
oh, this judge guy is immediately tearing into his facts about the abduction. this never stops happening to mulder when he presents his theories. it must be getting old.
she was gone for four weeks when she was abducted. did we ever know the length of time?? huh. not sure if i picked up on that if we did.
he cannot explain to this guy why anyone would do this to scully and put the child up for adoption, but that is her child!!
“not in any legal definition” “well, if you can show me a precedent for this case, i’d like to see it” <- ohhhh tell him!!!
ohhh my god... “dana has known for quite some time that she can’t bear children. she hasn’t known why. now, however that happened, the fact that she can adopt this child- her own flesh and blood- is something i don’t feel i have the right to question, and i don’t believe anybody has the right to stand in the way of” <- that is best friendship. they love each other so terribly. terrible in the sense of a storm, or a natural disaster, in the sense of love being a force
oh my god man hold on. hold on. so had they talked about it before?? how she couldn't have kids?? and did he tell her why?? i don't think he did, because she is looking on at him with such horror as he shares these facts
there is such a terrible feeling of never being able to go back to before associated with all of this…
mulder is at bill’s house now, fidgeting with their nativity, while scully descends from the stairs. she was helping tara get into bed. oh my god. she loves her family so much.
OHHH the big reveal: “why didn’t you tell me? mulder?” “i never expected this. i thought i was protecting you” <- so she never knew that he knew… which is why she looked so horrified when she heard him say that to the judge…
he thought he was keeping her safe??? because he must have known that these people were willing to kill to keep their experiments in order. it reminds me of when he was at the evil honey farm and the alien said the clone children don't need parents....... the utter lack of humanity...
he says he knew children were being created, but not for who or for what purpose. :(
she gets a call, seemingly with no one on the other end, and with one look he has his phone on him, calling to get it traced. their ability to communicate without language is fascinating. within seconds, he has the location
it’s the children’s center where emily’s being held!!!
so is it still the ghost of melissa calling them somehow?? or is there an informer in there???
they’re at the door of the children's center right away!!!! is someone going to hurt emily????? they barge right in despite it being the middle of the night
emily’s in bed, with a horrific fever. mulder picks her up (oh my god, this made me feel terriblly emotional things) and he notices there is something on her neck.
IT IS A TERRIBLE GREEN POISON LUMPY THING?????
the doctor says there is some kind of infection, and they’re having the thing on her neck biopsied.
there’s an awful pause as they're standing outside the hospital room, and he asks if they are the parents…. mulder steps to the side and lets her say that she is the mother, which is so insane to hear, while mulder watches, terribly worried.
he watches as they’re about to cut the thing on her neck…. but he realizes it is the green alien blood (which he can see, so NOT red/green colorblind) and starts banging on the door, telling the doctor to get away!!! but she doesn’t listen!!! the doctor collapses right then and there from the exposure to the alien blood gas, while they look on in horror.
so emily is one of the alien hybrid children... i had thought that those were all clones, but i guess there are some unique ones as well. or maybe the ones we have seen in the past all shape-shift to look the same? CSM, this is your fault. evil has a face and a name and he writes bad fiction.
emily is on a mild sedative, and the ER doctor somehow made it. scully asks mulder how he knew what was going on, and he says he had the doctor put in an ice bath like she did when he was exposed :( he remembered.... :(
the dr. calderon that emily was seeing before refuses to transfer her information over!!! and says that scully has no authority over this child!!!! he is straight up willing to let her die.
she refuses to leave her.
mulder is sent instead to interrogate him; he asks what he can say to convince dr. calderon to convince him to transfer the files over. but dr. calderon says it’s about business reasons. mulder asks how much money is worth letting this child die.
OHHHHHH HE IS THROWING HANDS…..
holy fuck, i need a moment. he calls calderon and his team "medical rapists", a term i was previously unfamiliar with, and says now they’re just going to let her DIE??? AND HE PULLS OUT A GUN???
“why don’t you tell me whose life is worth saving, yours or hers!!” <- DAMN!!!
mulder is willing to kill for scully and that baby she just learned existed... i need a moment
he only puts his gun away because the police are at the door… but he’s gonna follow him.
meanwhile, emily is watching cartoons while scully is in scrubs. she wants to talk to emily… she’s explaining that she has to do some tests. "mommy said no more tests" <- now what does that mean?
they insert the child into the machine. poor scully watches.
god, scully must feel so strange at the moment. and she gets flashbacks to her abduction from hearing the MRI machine beeping….
dr. calderon is running into a fancy gated home. and the other men who were watching scully before are here!!!!!
OH MY GOD???? THEY STABBED THE DOCTOR'S NECK WITH THE NEEDLE, AND THE GREEN GAS CAME OUT???
and the other one morphed into calderon??? SO THEY’RE THE ALIENS????
but mulder is here……..
(i’m torn between genuine devastation and the sheer absurdity of this plot)
back at the hospital, we learn emily has some sort of infection into her brain that is expanding along her nervous system
and the guy who is pretending to be calderon is here!!!
scully and the real doctor are talking medicine, what can and cannot be done for her.
NO WHAT? THE ALIEN THAT TOOK CALDERON'S FACE IS HERE WITH THE NEEDLE GAS STUFF??? he just left emily's room……
scully's going after this guy, but he switches faces the minute they catch him!!!!!
mulder is still tailing the people from the pharmaceutical company. he tells scully he doesn’t think they want emily dead either, but for different reasons… they want their experiment to work, i assume is what he implies, but he hangs up then to go do some more tailing.
detective kresge is here!!!! scully tells him she thinks these men killed emily's adoptive parents because they stopped doing the tests!!! and that must be why that mysterious man came in to see her!!!!
i’m ready to see some heads roll over this whole matter.
mulder lets himself into the weird huge gated house he saw dr. calderon go into, which seems to be an nursing home, with a label on a shelf for a. fuggazi. she’s a real person???? and she’s 71 years old???
but now emily is getting worse, with the growth spreading; it is killing her. the doctor says they should be grateful she isn’t in pain.
chambliss shows up to tell scully that the court is freaked out that she’s making choices for emily, but she points out that she is “a medical doctor, and the decisions that i make are reasonable and right” and we know this to be true!!!
OHHHH MY GOD chambliss says that she has no authority, and scully says that if they take her out of the hospital, she will have it known that all of them are responsible for emily's worsening health…… holy fuck
“what do you want me to tell them you’re doing for her?” “i don’t know yet. but i will” <- she thinks there has to be hope…. :(
frohike is on the phone!!!! mulder is reading the names of the women in the nursing home, while frohike looks them up. and somehow they all gave birth to children in the last few years??? despite being 70+ years old????
and frohike wants to know if they are attractive. mulder says he might have a shot with these ones LMAO <- rare moment of levity in what may be the darkest fucking episode of all time
these elderly women are being prescribed estrogen and progesterone, which are in abundance in pregnant women……….
anna comes to mulder and says she wants to start her beauty sleep??? and it’s taken years off of her appearance??? do the aliens turn them young somehow??? and then use them to have children???
holy fuck. horrific commentary on the intersections of reproductive rights and elder abuse....
emily is now being inserted into a new tube for testing, with scully saying she will be right there the whole time. the air in the tube hurts emily's ears??? and makes her veins pop out??????? she is yelling at the doctor to stop running the test, but i don't even really understand what is going on, beyond that emily cannot handle it
mulder is still at the nursing home, where he finds a bunch of the old women in bed, attached to IVs with the hormones he mentioned earlier!!! so they get the IVs in their sleep and then they... no, it's too disturbing to even say
so he looks in the fridge and inside he finds some papers…. HUH???? it has scully’s name on them???? and inside is ANOTHER BABY IN A TUBE????
what the fuck??? this is messed up!!!!
he also finds vials of the green stuff that you use to kill the aliens!!!! but now the shapeshifting alien guy from before is here!!!! so he's running out with the vials!!!
but detective kresge is here and stops mulder!!!!! IS THE DETECTIVE WORKING FOR THE ALIENS???
NO!! kresge is trying to keep him safe!!! the alien picks him up and tosses him like a rag doll!!!
but kresge gets up and shoots him despite mulder’s many warnings, so he hisses as his alien body releases that toxic green gas!! NO, KRESGE!! you were mean at first, but i grew to like you!!!
the alien takes kresge’s face and dips while mulder is trying to get backup!!!!!!!!!!!!
poor scully is watching emily through the window; she has gone into a coma. mulder suddenly arrives. but before mulder can say anything, she claims she’s okay.
“but if you could treat her?” “i wouldn’t. i wouldn’t do it to her” “are you sure?” <- oh my god? is she going to take her off of life support? does she think it is wrong to keep her alive with no quality of life? we know she believes that in her own will... is she realizing there is nothing she can do? and why does she always lead with "i'm okay" when she isn't?
“mulder, whoever brought this child into this world didn’t intend to love her”
“i think she was born to serve an agenda” (a horrific thing for a human to be)
“i have a chance to stop that. you were right. this child was not meant to be”
but she is. she is here. and she doesn't have much longer.
he rubs her back and says he’ll stay with her. STOOOOOP
but she says she’d like to be alone. so he quietly walks away.
oh my god. he was going to stay with her while she watched her baby die... but she said she wanted to do it alone.......
he still has that one vial of green stuff in his pocket, and pulls it out in the hallway. while she’s going in to presumable say goodbye. she lays her head next to emily, crawling into her bed. oh my god.
then we see a stained glass window of mary holding baby jesus while scully sits in a pew. maggie is here, asking if she’s ready. she tells her she’ll get a ride back with mulder. and she hugs her family, smiling at tara’s new baby, kissing him on the head.
there is a little casket, and scully stares at it as mulder comes in, laying flowers upon it.
“who are the men who would create a life whose only hope is to die?” “i don’t know. but that you found her… and you had a chance to love her… maybe she was meant for that, too” <- oh my god??? oh my god.
“she found me” “so you could save her” <- and she did save her... she saved her from an unhappy home and unethical experiments and loved her in the week that she knew her, and let her go peacefully instead of suffering....
then she asks about kresge, who somehow made it, but the nursing home has been cleaned out, and no one else knew of calderon’s work. but there is evidence of what they did, she says, staring at the casket.
she takes the flowers, lifts up the lid, and mulder turns around to give her space. but the casket is empty, except for the cross necklace. which she holds, closing her eyes. so they took her body, too???
the sand… the necklace… the opening scene… the parallels… i’m, like, blubbering as i type this
what the fuck!! who came up with this?? it is so fucked up and horrific and why. why. why. why did they make her undergo that and where do we go from here? no seriously, how is she going to just. clock into work the next day. not knowing she had a daughter except for a single week they had together and then she watched her die.
i honestly think scully is a saint because. if someone told me my autonomy had been taken and they made a baby out of me without my consent, i think i would be horrified and want nothing to do with the poor child. i would think, i have no relation to that little person. it was done without my knowledge, and how can i claim any connection to something i never knew?
(i mean, that is all i can imagine i would do; i know nothing of what it feels like to want or have or learn you have a baby. so keep that fact in mind if i don't fully grasp the weight of everything here. but believe me, what i am grasping is weighty enough)
but she said, i have a baby and i need to love her, because the option to make my own decision was denied, but i need to do the right thing. she just barrels in and loves her. no hesitation. and then she watches her die.
and what the fuck?? from a writer’s perspective are they just trying to overtly comment on the lack of women’s healthcare?? because this hits different in the current political climate in a way they couldn’t have seen at the time. and i do feel somewhat inspired to write an essay on the subject. and using the elderly women as incubators... holy hell. it really speaks to the lack of agency women have over their own bodies and the terrifying nature of government intervention into women's healthcare...
mulder showing up right away to testify for her… scully being willing to throw her whole career away for a child she never knew she had… i need a few days and maybe a drink.
where do they go from this? how do you move on from learning you have a child, choosing to love it for the week you knew her, and then watching her die? how do you just go hunt bigfoot after that?
i feel like this show throws too many emotional punches and doesn't give us time to let the aftershocks sink in and the grief be processed. i hope that this time we get that chance.
and oh, how tender both of them were with emily... i just know that if they have kids, that child is going to be so loved... i am gonna cry at the thought. because we have always been able to see that mulder wants a family so desperately, but with scully it was more simmering under the surface until it boiled over, and now she knows what that feeling is like, but it was taken away from her and it can never come back, but maybe someday she can find happiness, and they can find happiness together, and raise a little kid who they can hold and carry and read books to and fuck i'm emotional!!!
i'm thinking about how even way back in season 1 we see them dealing with kids and the foreshadowing to this, this glimpse of what could have been in another life, but what isn't in this timeline. and how he was there for her while she waded through entirely incomprehensible emotions. and again i come back to the fact she chose to love this little girl despite having no knowledge of her.
and how they choose to find meaning in that week they knew her, with mulder telling her that she saved emily, that she let her experience love and happiness. to try and find any purpose to their inexplicably cosmic suffering.
fuck!!!
as always, please tell me what you think!!! what was your reaction when you saw this for the first time?? what was the reaction of the wider public? did you also cry a million tears? did you also cry at the mental image of them having a little baby? has your perception of the episode changed over time? if you have kids now do you cry even more? will chris carter ever work on whatever it is he has going on with making women suffer? i need to know every last detail.
#damn. just staring at my keyboard honestly. what to even say after all of that?#i hope we explore the implications with the appropriate emotional weight they ought to be afforded which usually does not happen#i thought we got that pretty well after the abduction arc but in other areas of tragedy (her dad's death or melissa's death#or the cancer arc or mulder losing his father or his mother having a stroke)#we just kinda. jump into the next thing. and don't let that weight sink in. because i can only imagine you don't recover from that ever#let alone in a week! which is why i think fanfic is great. because they can explore that.#anyway. they need to find a kitten.#please give me 80 fics of mulder trying to be there for her without suffocating her and the inevitable clashing of her being like#“i don't need you to PROTECT me” and then him being like “i'm just trying to be there for you” and then the fighting#and then the crying and then the healing. please and thank you. signed with a heart.#yeah. mulder finds a kitten in the dumpster outside his apartment and they must clean it up.#this is law. it has been written and it is such.#anyway. as always please share thoughts and link to fluff fic.#juni's x files liveblog#the x files#txf
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I feel like oliver is doing this to lead us on bc they won't do buddie anymore bc they replaced it with a cheap version and Ryan doesn't want to be gay on TV and what the fuck am I supposed to do with this info???? How do we take revenge on fox
Okay. Here's the thing. I don't have ANY room for negatively because I'm too busy celebrating being fucking RIGHT. And so normally I would ignore this or try to placate but the thing we are NOT going to do, is put words in Ryan's, namer of the Buddie ship, mouth. I believe he's already played a gay character before in a movie or something? And with Oliver out here flat out saying FOX shut down a storyline "a couple years ago" which is around the shooting that was filmed in Lovers Framing and so romantically coded?? Yeah, I refuse to let people spread misinformation and try and lay this at Ryan's feet when we all Been Knew it was a FOX call.
Also, they literally set Tommy up just like every other LI Buck has had! He falls into something unexpectedly, he makes a mistake off the bat, ye doubles down because his childhood trauma kicks in and he panics about being left. 🤷🏻♀️ Tommy is sweet, and might be here for a few more episodes, and might even stick around in some capacity if the audience likes him (Josh as a character eternally looking for love would be an easy way for the show to keep Lou on and accessible if needed), but there is NO WAY Oliver "I'm always careful what I say because I know people will read into it and I don't want to be accused of baiting" is just stringing people along.
I'm absolutely not saying you need to fully board the clown car, I totally get needing to manage your expectations for your own mental health and wellbeing. But in managing your expectations, don't go so far that you suck ALL the joy out of the information out there by catastrophizing worst-case scenarios in order to feel miserable instead of excited. You gotta find some middle ground in there.
#my sweet nonnie friends#911#buddie#oliver stark#WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING SO WEIRD ABOUT RYAN?!?!#all lou said was the storyline needed to shift and they had to ask oliver if HE was willing to do something not previously discussed#and he was! because he was gonna fucking do it anyway#please please please learn SOME reading comprehension#NO WHERE did lou say ryan WASN'T willing he simply said oliver had to be asked first and was on board#i'm trying so hard not to have this be one of the toxic positivity condescension posts#because anything can always happen nothing is set in stone and managing expectations is important#especially if you have emotional regulation issues (i would know)#but good god leave ryan alone for real#and take the win that we have been right all along and FOX was the problem
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✧ The Ardal stars ✧
#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#digital art#digital drawing#dnd#dungeons and dragons#homebrew#original art#my art#my ocs#Setting: Heim#I drew these a couple of years ago now i think#but since i'm drawing stuff for this setting again i'm reuploading with updated information cause the last one is outdated#I will say right off the bat however#If you compare my designs to already existing IPs i will block you on sight#the last time i posted these they got compared to a piece of media i really dislike#and that comment alone made me fall out of love with this setting for almost two years#so please. do not. it's rude and unnecessary#These are the artefacts my setting and its story is largely centered around#Tethry is credited with creating them (Even though he didn't)#They were gifted by Tethry to each of the largest cities in the world to serve as power generators supplying arcane power to the whole city#immediately pushing the four sister cities into prosperity and progress. leaving literally everyone else in the dust#which caused some understandable tension between countries that already had a bit of a strained relationship to begin with#There is SO MUCH to these little trinkets and their link to Tethry and how finding them essentially fucked up his whole entire life#You'd think becoming the world's most renowned arcanist would be the best thing that ever happened to an aspiring caster#but to some poor dude just trying to study arcane language. stumbling across the magical equivalent of the demon core#was very much not on his wishlist#especially not dealing with the consequences of trying to make sure no one actually realises how nasty they have the potential to be#which. someone inevitably does
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rip gambit you will be missed 😔
Don't even know what to say tbh.
For those that don't know, the big State of the Game article came out detailing incoming changes and adjustments and all the big stuff. Gambit was mentioned! But at what cost. Basically, they are ceasing any kind of support for Gambit. What we have now is what it is. We will get the Dreaming City map back in TFS and they will add Shadow Legion and Lucent Hive as enemy factions in TFS. That's all.
Full text:
As many of you have noticed, we’ve been quiet on Gambit since last year’s overhaul that launched alongside The Witch Queen. In that revamp, the team made significant changes across five categories in Gambit: core activity fundamentals, Primeval tuning, invasions, ammo economy, and rewards. Unfortunately, these updates didn’t move the needle for player engagement. Although we know our Gambit fans mostly care about new or returning maps, this is an area of the game with lower engagement that would take resources away from more popular parts of the game to shore up. While we don’t have plans to dedicate more resources to significantly transform Gambit, we do have a few updates planned for the year of The Final Shape. These include porting the Cathedral of Scars map and its beautiful Dreaming City setting into the latest version of Destiny 2, as well as adding the Shadow Legion and Lucent Hive enemy types.
I don't know how to tell you this Bungie, but the reason "engagement is low" in Gambit is because Gambit sucks. Ever since half of it was removed with DCV, it just sucked. It has no variety, the gameplay is largely busted, it's not sufficiently updated, ammo changes suck, invasion cycle sucks (why is the enemy even getting a portal when their Primeval is at 5% health and the other team is still in mote collecting phase is beyond me), there are no cool armour sets to chase (just look at Iron Banner and Trials stuff, imagine dedicated cosmetics) and finally there are simply no weapons that are worth anything. Both Vanguard and Crucible have more weapons and also adept versions. There is zero reason to go into Gambit without major changes to Gambit. And now with the further changes to how playlists and challenges will work, there will be even less reason to go into Gambit. Observe:
Before then, we’re making Gambit entirely optional to maximize your rewards unless you’re looking for a piece of gear that’s specific to the mode. Gambit will continue to serve as a source of Exotic engrams via weekly challenges, though as we mentioned above, you’ll be able to complete all your weekly challenges in any ritual you’d like starting in Season 22. If you want to stick to Vanguard or Crucible challenges without touching Gambit, now you can. We’re also reducing the number of Gambit-specific Seasonal Challenges starting in Season 22, so players won’t need to bank motes to be able to earn that big purse of Bright Dust for completing nearly every challenge in the Season. Finally, we’re adding Fireteam Matchmaking to Gambit next Season, which will replace the Freelance node and should result in faster, better matchmaking by combining both Gambit playlists. We’ll keep an eye on reception and player engagement after these additions take place, and we hope you’ll visit ‘ol Drifter next Season to get your hands on his new Void Machine Gun.
Ngl, but I don't think anyone besides like a total of 6 people will play Gambit next season. The incentive to go in there is completely removed. You won't even have to go in there for pinnacles or for challenges. The Void Machine Gun will not be enough of an incentive because the chance of that gun being better than two recently available craftable Void Machine Guns (Commemoration and Retrofit Escapade) is very low. And besides, once you get it at the end of your first match, you can leave Gambit forever.
This is the feedback loop that just reinforces the idea that people don't like Gambit. And I mean. Who would at this point. I'm pretty sure that if Crucible had stayed the same as it was at the start of Beyond Light, engagement would be low there too. But you know. Crucible has received major updates pretty much every season since with multiple new modes, several Trials overhauls, Iron Banner overhaul, competitive overhaul, new armours and weapons added and YES, even new maps. God forbid even 5% of these resources went into Gambit.
Anyway, this is the whole section about Gambit in 6500 words. It's basically a "you guys aren't playing this so we're doing the bare minimum of keeping it in the game as is, no new work will be done on it ever." Thanks I guess.
And for the record, something I also added while having a rant in my discord, I want to make it clear that I don't want anyone to spiral into a Bungie hate train. Even for this. I understand perfectly well what's the community attitude towards Gambit and what it's been for years now. People just don't like it and they're not incentivised to like it and they're actively encouraged to hate it. Spending resources into a game mode on the hope that maybe you can change people's minds would be insanity. Like, the amount of change Gambit would need to MAYBE start appealing to gamers would be beyond any reasonable time and resources Bungie can put in. And if you could guarantee that people would love and play Gambit then, fine. But you can't. Most likely, even if major changes happened, people would still just do their weekly stuff and bail. It's simply not worth it. In order for people to like it, it needs to be completely and thoroughly overhauled in a way that would need more time and effort than the entire Light subclass overhaul and it's just not a reasonable expectation, nor is it guaranteed to work. So I get it.
I'm still disappointed and annoyed about it because I believe it wasn't given a fair chance at all. I also know how good it can be and how Gambit Prime could've been improved upon over the years if they tried. Instead, it got removed and that was honestly the death sentence for Gambit. It's unfortunate. It's my favourite game mode that could've been so much better was it given even a fraction of attention of Crucible.
I'll still be playing it. You will find me in the Gambit queue waiting for 2 hours to find 7 other lunatics to play with, don't worry about it. But I'm absolutely incredibly sad about them being basically forced to axe the potential of the whole game mode that is incredibly creative and fits with the type of game Destiny is perfectly.
There's other interesting stuff in the article and some upcoming really cool improvements and changes to the game. But if you're a fan of Gambit in any capacity, this is a death certificate for the mode. I suggest coming to terms with it quickly because Bungie changing their minds about this is highly unlikely.
#destiny 2#gambit#ask#long post#says 'don't know what to say' at the start. writes an essay. FHKSJHFKJS#i won't go too much into it outside of this. we all know what this means no need to beat the dead horse#i'll still play it and the mode is still there but i expect a drop in quality and population significantly#the issues we have will never be addressed nothing will ever be fixed. we'll get a 5th map (returning) in 6 months and that's it#yay. I guess.#don't think there will be anyone in the playlist anymore by that point so I'm not sure why even bother with that alone#but still. if that does happen at least new people will be able to see that map now. it was very pretty#unfortunately not good gameplay wise. but at least it will help to not get deep six 17 times in a row#anyway. sad situation for gambit enjoyers. please don't turn into crucible bros to harass devs though
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Brett my beloved, you deserve the world... but everything else ... help
Listen, we all know Janeway's not going anywhere since she's alive in Picard S3, but I always had this dread that the reason why no one mentioned Chakotay is because he's.................... And I am very much going to NOPE that. There is a reason people weren't big fans of Picard and it's because it was heavily leaning on tragedy in a franchise that's supposed to be about a bettter future.
Brett deserves S3 and beyond. Kate deserves to take time off from giving (outdated) ideas.
Read the full interview here.
#like Hagemans I see you talking about hope and all the things Star Trek is about so please don't fall into the same trap as Picard did#I am now of opinion Kate wants to kill off a character so she can put a stop to JC once and for all#cause can't talk JC if one of the two is dead and we all know it's not gonna be Janeway#how funny would it be if they FINALLY got together and then BOOM#Chakotay dies#And they can even say they referenced Beyer's books lmao#why am I giving ideas#help#yes there is more to Prodigy than JC#which is exactly why I'm now advocating for them to leave JC alone and focus on the kids only cause I genuinely want more Prodigy kids#but not JC after reading all of the interviews that came out since S2 aired#Kate can have her asexual no romance Janeway in the form of holo Janeway#leave admiral Janeway to the fans#I already read better fics than how they handled them in S2#janeway x chakotay#brett gray#gwyndala#star trek prodigy#gwyndal#dal r'el#kate mulgrew
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alright alright i keep learning about this wrt to mutuals and it is constantly blowing my mind so i gotta know
(this is a scale; please pick the furthest down option on the list that you use regularly. one-offs or playing with different tools don't count for this poll)
#ftr i am computer with a graphics tablet and i have been for 20 years#my art career predates the existence of display tablets outside the workplace. let alone smartphones. let ALONE being able to draw on them#i can barely wrap my head around the ipad with the stylus....#other 'computer with tablet'-ers please say hello#everyone out here drawing on their phones... with their fingers... wow. wow.#i've *used* display tablets and the iPad with pencil but i always come back to my 15 year old Intuos3 bc i'm a coward#reblogs are turned off on this just because i'm mostly interested in what my direct community & mutuals are doing#rather than tumblr at large! i'd also love to know like... how this intersects with age. i might make another poll another time for that!
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