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gg-neptune · 4 months ago

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Hello ☺️ do you take request ? If yes, could you make your eating disorder headcanon into a fic ? Anyway, I like your Severus version and can’t wait to read your next work.

A/n: Hiiii!!! Yes I do take requests. Thank you so much! I love your works too. I love the way you write Severus but also Sinclair as well the way you portray him is so good I just love it. (I love your works as a whole the way you write is so yummy tickles my brain good) Also sorry it took me a few days I have to write things like this in moderation, but I hope you like it. <333333

Also this is related to my experience with having an Ed and my safe foods. I know not everyone can relate to an exact T, but I still hope if you are struggling with anything like this it can help you. If you know someone who is struggling or if you yourself is struggling, please reach out and get some help. You are not defined by a number or what you eat. You are so much more than that,

Warnings: fear of food, eating, ED, kind of panic attack, talks of feeling sick, anything I missed please tell me

It had been a long day of classes. Nothing terribly bad had happened, but it had just been a long day. Your head seemed to pound harder with each step you took. You were trying to make it back to Severus’ chambers. You two had been in a relationship for the better part of a year, and it was coming along great. He was beginning to warm up to the idea of someone being around. He no longer flinched as you brushed past him. He was now accustomed to sitting together on the couch, and on some days you might even get to sit on his lap. You know most things about him by now. He had slowly opened up to you, spilling out his heart for you. You had done the same. However, there was something you had not told him yet.

Finally, you had made it to the dungeons. Quickening your pace, you walk straight to where Severus is, hoping you don’t run into any students. You two had not been caught sneaking into each other's rooms before, but you had both agreed that if it ever did happen, you would say you were dropping off potion ingredients. Or if he was going to your room, he needed to borrow a book, or, in his words, “I’ll just threaten detention for a month with me one on one; they will leave.” Finally, you find your way to his room. No students were around, so you just slipped inside, not bothering to knock in case a student did come.

“Hey Sev I’m here,” you call out. The loud sound of your voice was like a knife into the skull. Your eyes unfocus as you sway back and forth a bit. Quickly, you lean against a wall, attempting to steady yourself.

Before you appears a mass of black, “Hello.”

Severus lifts his head up a bit so you can actually see his face. His dark eyes look tired as ever as he looks you up and down, taking you in. He stands there for a moment before pulling you off the wall and leading you into his small sitting space. He had only bothered to furnish it when you had come along.

“You look a bit pale,” he stares at you while he says this, scanning over your face as he lightly pushes you down onto the couch. The plush of the cushions enveloped you as you sunk into them, letting your body relax as you held out your arms for him to join you. He does, carefully sitting beside you, wrapping an arm around you as he still stares at you, carefully examining you.

“I don’t feel all that good,” you reply, trying to downplay it.

“Well, not to be mean, but honestly, you look awful. Your pale and almost green,” concern is laced through his voice as he says this. He pulls you closer to him, keeping you firmly placed beside him. “Have you eaten today?”

“Yeah,” you keep your answer short, not sure if you could keep up lying to him.

“Really? Well, what did you eat then?” He’s on to you, and you know it. His voice is monotone as he bares holes into your eyes, staring down at you like he’s reading your mind.

“Well, for breakfast I had some blueberries and yogurt, and then for lunch I had part of a sandwich,” you gaze up at him, hoping he believes you. His eyes are narrowed into slits, and his mouth is pressed into a thin line.

“I didn’t know lying in a relationship was acceptable,” he states plainly, fixing his posture as he pulls you into his lap, cocking a brow at you. “Now one more time. What did you actually eat today? And don’t lie to me this time.” He isn’t mad, but rather just concerned.

Words choke in your throat as you try to come up with something to say. You can’t lie this time, but what do you say to him?

“I already know you didn’t eat anything, so I will rephrase the question. Why have you not eaten anything?” he questioned. This time his tone was more authoritative. You lean forward and rest your head on his shoulder, not wanting to look him in the eye at the moment, or rather, you don’t think you can.

“I just—um, well, I didn’t feel like it,” you reply. This was not entirely a lie. The entire day had gone by, and you had not felt like eating. However, there was more to it than that alone.

“How about I go get something from the kitchen right now and bring it back? You need to eat,” Severus replies, rubbing your back as you lean on him. His other arm is wrapped loosely around your waist.

“No, it’s ok, I’m not hungry.”

He stops rubbing your back and lifts his arms up to your shoulders. He pushes you back and makes you look at him, “Liar.”

You don’t know if it was being made to look at him so intensely, or him being on to you like this, or not being as close to him as you were, or the weight of your own thoughts, but your eyes begin to well with tears as he says this. He keeps you held by your shoulders as tears fill your eyes, but his expression softens.

“Please tell me. I can fix it if you tell me,” the man's voice is almost begging as he looks at you. He pulls you back to his chest and gently strokes your back again, attempting to offer comfort. Tears fall from your eyes, but luckily his shirt is there to soak them up. “I’ll fix it; just tell me what’s wrong,” he whispers out into your hair. His voice is breaking the sight of you crying into him like this is breaking him. Of course he already knows why, but for once in his life, he is hoping his Legimens skills have led him wrong.

“I need to—I just lose some weight, you know?” You try your best to keep your voice steady as you say this. He almost instantly wraps his arms tightly around you as if he is trying to shield you from your thoughts as soon as you say that. You shove your face in his neck to hide your tears, and you take a deep breath to try and steady yourself, but you find it a tad hard to breathe. Severus’ grip on you has tightened so much.

“Sev- I can’t breathe,” you choke out, still fighting back tears. He loosens his grip but still keeps his arms firmly around you as you say this.

"No, you don't; you weigh perfectly fine. You need food,” his voice is no longer breaking but rather strong and determined now as he stands bringing you along with him. He sets you down back on the couch. “Now. You stay here, here take this,” he grabs a large quilt from one of the choirs in the area and drapes it over you, bundling you in it, “and then when I get back I’m going to have food. And you're going to eat. And you won't gain weight because food doesn't work like that. Am I clear?” His hands are on his hips as he stares down at your teary eyes. His expression is soft, but his voice is showing much concern. He leans down and gently wipes a few stray tears from your eyes.

"No, no, I can’t,” you cry out. The thought of food is making you feel sick. “I can’t eat; I can't, Severus.” Your voice is weak and trembling.

"Yes, you can, and you will. It won’t be a lot, I promise, but you will eat.” He says this like it is the most simple thing in the world. Like you, eating would be simple for you. However, you knew better. You have been struggling with your relationship with food for a while now. Everything about it seemed to make you sick. You tended to avoid it because of this fact. However, when faced with a situation where you had to, it would manage to find its way up one way or another.

Severus presses a kiss to your head and then your lips before speaking, “I promise it will be ok,” his voice, gentle and soothing, “you need to eat pretty. I’ll be right back, and I will be here with you the entire time, I promise.” With that, he leaves, going to the kitchens leaving you with your thoughts for a few moments.

What would you do when he came back with food? You had not eaten in so long; you were not even sure if what you were feeling was hunger anymore. How are you going to deflect it this time?

Thoughts race through your head a mile a minute. It seemed like no time at all that Severus was back. Immediately he was in front of you again, attempting to soothe you. You had not realized, but your hands had gone to your hair, gripping tightly as if you were trying to pull your own hair out. Your breathing was rapid and shallow as you pressed yourself into the back of the couch, trying to enclose yourself in a space you deemed safe.

“Love, please look at me.” His voice was almost pleading, but he was making a great attempt at keeping it strong and steady for you. Slowly you lifted your eyes up to him, trying to calm down your breathing, but it was as if your hands were not your own, as they kept gripping tighter and tighter no matter how hard you tried to relax them.

His hands lift up to yours and gently cover them in an attempt to get you to relax. “Relax, it’s me. Just me. You and me.”

Slowly your hands relax, and he removes them from your head. “You're ok, come here; you're safe; it’s ok.” He pulls you to his chest, pulling you into his lap. He lifts himself onto the couch, sitting with you curled in his lap, completely safe.

After a while of silence, he was just holding you close. You began to hope he was going to drop the idea of making you eat something, but soon he crushed your hopes. “I brought mainly really light stuff. Nothing heavy like soup.”

He leans forward, and with one hand (the other still wrapped around you), he grabs a container and opens it, and inside is plain, uncooked broccoli.

“I used to eat this all the time when I was younger and I felt bad,” he says happily, taking a piece for himself and eating the top of it, smiling down at you.

“Severus, I'm not eating uncooked broccoli.”

“Why not? I’m here for you, love. I promise throughout it all I will be.

“It has nothing to do with that; it’s the fact it’s plain and uncooked. I’m not eating it,” you huff out. You lean back against his chest as he eats the rest of his broccoli and then reaches forward for the next container he brought.

"Well, fine then. I brought yogurt as well and this granola bar. Any of that sounds good,” he looks down at you. His eyes are filled with nothing but love. No judgment is present at all, only pure unconditional love.

“I guess, I dunno,” you respond, shying away from his eye contact. You hide your face on his shoulder. His arm comes back to you to wrap around you again. He begins to stroke your back again.

“I’ll be here. How about a few bites of the yogurt, hm? Then your stomach will have something on it, at least, ok.” His voice is gentle and calming as he whispers into your ear.

“I don’t want to gain weight,” you whimper out into him. Your arms wrap tightly around him, clinging for support.

“Love, you won’t gain weight from this. Not fatty weight, at least, ok? A couple of bites of food won’t do that to you. And even if it did, you would be beautiful as ever, you hear me? You need to eat. I can’t stand to see you not, to see my girlfriend wasting away, and I know that might sound dramatic, but if you keep this up, you will. Let’s conquer this together, ok? I know you can, and I will be here with you to help you throughout everything. I am always with you through everything. Always.” He tries hard to get these words out, as he is not good with them. He struggles to say things in the heat of a moment, but he wants desperately to comfort you right now. He wants you to know there is nothing to worry about with him there. He’s going to keep you safe regardless of what you think.

He reaches forward and picks up the tub of yogurt. It’s your favorite flavor. You don’t know if you’ve ever mentioned this to him, and if you did, it was in passing, but regardless, he remembered. He grabs a spoon and opens the container. “Now don’t be frightened by how big the container is; I don’t expect you to eat all of it. Let’s go for at least 5 decent bites, alright?”

You nod in agreement, “I’ll try.”

He dips the spoon into the container and then lifts it to your mouth, offering it to you. For a moment, you stare at it wearily. Before coming up with an idea, “Severus distract me. Tell me a story or something.”

He puts the spoon back into the container and looks at you curiously. “What kind of story?”

“Just be descriptive, something to take my mind off what I am doing.”

"Well, all right,” he picks the spoon back up and begins telling a story of a dragon.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Once there was a dragon. He was dark purple with sharp horns sticking out of almost every inch of his skin. Many dragons in his area with horns were red or orange and not purple, making him very undesirable to the female dragons in his area. By the time he was just a baby, he had already discovered he was undesirable and unworthy of those around him. His odd coloring and horns were a result of his mother and father breeding from different tribes. This was forbidden in his land.

The dragon lived a lonely life. He lived atop a mountain and came down once a day to drink and eat. Each time he came down, he saw the same old other dragons who looked at him with judging and disapproving eyes. He had been met with this type of gaze his entire life. No one else was dark purple and had horns like him.

However, one time, on his way down to drink, he spotted another purple dragon. He at first suspected it was from his mother's tribe (his father having the horns, his mother being purple); however, the closer he got, he realized it too had horns. He knew immediately he had to go see up close.

As not to frighten the other dragon, who was drinking from the river, he went on the opposite side and pretended to lap up some water himself. His eyes stayed on the other purple-horned dragon the entire time, never leaving it. He was used to the judging stares he got, so he always suspected he was rather ugly; however, looking at the dragon before him, he could not help but think it was a beautiful sight.

Seeing it up close, he realized the dragon was a female dragon. She had the same coloring he did and the same horns all over as him.

She looked up, having sensed eyes on her, and was immediately met with his eyes gazing at her. He was almost too scared to move, but he managed to try to muster up the best smile he could.

He was unsure what her reaction would be for a moment, but soon she was flying over to his side of the river to join him.

“Who are your parents?” she questioned. Her voice was strong but still held a hint of curiosity in it.

“Norbert of the West and Falkor of the North.”

She studied him for a moment, almost trying to see if he was lying before her muscles seemed to relax.

They fell into easy conversation after this. They shared many of the same experiences throughout life, making it easy to bond. When it was nightfall, he offered his mountain up to her, and she happily agreed to the sleepover.

It was the first time in both of their lives that they did not feel alone.

Many months passed. They had flown everywhere together, both having found a new spirit to go and explore the world. After a while, they settled back down atop the mountain since winter was fast approaching.

“You are welcome to stay with me.”

“I would love nothing more.”

And that was the tale of the two odd dragons. One might believe that they will never find their one, but they will eventually. You are never truly only. Your person may just be a tad lost in finding you. Or, hell, you might be the one lost.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Before you knew it, you had eaten your 5 decent bites and even a few more. Severus realized, but you had now. Transfixed on his story, you had lost count and pushed the thoughts away from your mind as best as you could any time they would come near. He reached the end of the story at last.

“I made that up on the spot completely,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly, “but I think it was good.”

“It did what it was supposed to,” you respond. You lean back over to Severus once he has put away the yogurt and other food items, sending them to the kitchen with a flick of his wand.

He opens his arms for you and leans back against the armrest of the sofa, holding you to his chest once more.

“How do you feel?”

“Ok.”

“Just ok? No bad or good feelings, just ok,” his eyes meet yours, and you can tell he is genuinely concerned. He wants to see you eat, and he wants you to be healthy.

"Yeah, I’m just ok.”

Silence is cast over the two of you. You bask in his warmth, and he basks in yours. He makes a point of keeping his arms tightly wrapped around you, like he is scared you will slip away.

“Promise me something,” he breaks the silence. His baritone voice is almost jarring with how quiet it had been.

“Promise when you're struggling like this, you’ll come to me. I don’t care what I’m doing; I want to make sure you are okay.”

You grip his arm tightly, processing his words. In a perfect world, you would immediately just say that you promised, but you knew how it could be sometimes. Sometimes it wasn’t that easy. But look at you now. You're not feeling as awful as you were. Your headache is beginning to fade a bit, your stomach is not aching like it was, and now you are getting to be held by Severus. So maybe you could promise.

“I will be there for you anytime you need me; I promise you that. I swear to you I will be. I just need you to promise that you will tell me when you need me.”

“I promise to try my best to tell you when I need you,” you respond, knowing full well this was not a lie. You would do your best in the future to try to tell him what you were going through.

“Thank you, beautiful. Get some sleep, ok? I can tell you're exhausted. You did so good, you’ve earned it.”

Humming in response, you press your ear to his chest, wanting to listen to his heartbeat, and close your eyes. Very soon you drift off safe and sound in Severus’ arms. Perfect just the way you are, no matter what you eat, because you are not defined by calories or your weight.

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mettywiththenotes · 4 months ago

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Talking about an au

This is one that has been on my mind since 419 and tbh I thought for sure it could happen

Remember when Tomura shed his skin during the Floating UA battle? Well I wondered if a similar thing would happen again in Mount Fuji

Picture it. In the void, AFO eats Tomura. He's dying as he's told everything about AFO's involvement in his life. AFO takes over his body, hand formed over mouth and all. It looks pretty bad. All the stuff happens with Izuku getting his arms back, the heroes coming to his aid etc. Izuku punches AFO (end of 422, beginning of 423). Here's where it diverges from canon:

Izuku punches AFO and he starts crumbling slowly, from his gut (where the impact was) to the rest of him. Except before it even reaches his chest, his face starts to crack open. Visually we can see this crack isn't the same as the crumbling of his body. It's one we've seen before, across his face in the middle of a battle. A parallel back to this

Except within the crack is Tomura's face. Tomura inside Tomura's body. Tomuraception

What happened? Well, the power of Izuku's will to stop AFO (the punch) allowed the vestiges that got thrown into the body to reawaken and bring Tomura's soul back. At the same time, minutes before, Tomura, slowly dying in the void, began to think. About everything AFO told him, how he was doomed before he was even born. How much that angered him, the rage coursing through his soul. He already had a strong will before, but now he really can't accept what has happened and he can't accept AFO getting away with it. Even if AFO's fate is to die, he'd rather be the one on the other end of it, alive and watching him. Better yet, being the hand that ultimately brings about his end

As a visual representation, it's like Tomura reaches out, desperate to climb out of the abyss he is slowly dying in, and he is met with several hands reaching back, taking his hand and pulling him out and back to the world. The vestiges, who have been reawakened by Izuku

Before, Tomura has not been able to die or stay dead. So why should this not be the same? With the power of rage, spite, his hero and some ghostly relatives, he lives on. He twists his own fate by accepting the hands that reach out and climbing out of the hole AFO threw him in

AFO's Tomura face cracks open. Tomura forces AFO's vessel apart from the head, almost like a butterfly climbing out of its cocoon, almost like he is actively prying his own cage open and escaping for good

AFO had been crumbling and was ripped open, but in a desperate attempt to stay together and stay alive (also fueled by anger at being pushed to the edge like this + Tomura somehow coming back from the dead), he uses his quirks (mostly drills) to keep his body intact for now (this is already shown in 423)

Also, I guess it depends on what you would like to believe, but the way I see it, Tomura could come back either with just his decay OR with the vestiges choosing another vessel for what little power they can give left and so backing Tomura up with the last of OFA. Aka 10th user Tomura. It's not as powerful as it was with Izuku but it still adds a lot, just enough to pack a real punch. Personally I think if we're already throwing away "what is realistic" then I might as well go big or go home and go with 10th user Tomura my beloved

It's from this point that he and Izuku begin to work together to kill the old body. As you can imagine, it's probably not an immediate bonding of friendship or whatever, but it's more or less teamwork formed with the general statement of "we still have things to work out, hero, but I don't care about that right now. I hate him more than anyone else on this damn mountain and I can't stand the thought of letting anyone else kill him but me" etc but then progresses as they fight

#you may be thinking #'tomura literally jumping out of his own body? lol that makes no sense'#well it didn't make sense realistically when tomura turned INSIDE OUT and wore his OWN SKIN around his waist like a skirt either #so #its MY au and I get to choose the unrealistic ways my fav could come back!!#im not really thinking hard about this except for 'this would be cool if it became a parallel' and also 'tomura deserved to kill afo'#also i like the idea of the vestiges being all for tomura's destructive ways just this one time #izuku reaching a hand out to him: please tenko this doesn't have to be you 😔#the vestiges reaching a hand out to him: please tenko this can totally be you. kill him #the vestiges + tomura: i support all for one's rights. all for one's rights to shut the fuck up!!#i mean that basically happened in canon anyway #they said 'okay you're dying already but we'll bring you back to help kill afo. as a treat'#this way he doesn't have to die #there's probably more details to this but this is like the bare bones of it #bnha #bnha manga spoilers #shigaraki and midoriya #mettys posts #metty posts #bnha au #bnha spoilers

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