#please note!! Maria is not a bigot

[lavyoku]

[A Mother's Touch.]

The Holy Mother and the Herald of Change and History in-training have a "Heart to Heart".

[reaper-robotnik]

Masterpost!

Hello everyone! This is Maria Robotnik. Yes, I’m dead. Yes it hurt. No, I won’t go in-depth about it.

Long story short, I ended up becoming one of multiple grim reapers, but honestly? I mostly just float around different universes. Couldn’t experience Earth in life so might as well!

Pronouns are she/her, but I don’t really care if you use “they” for me.

When submitting asks, please be polite. Shadow blogs are more than welcome! (My version of Shadow turned out awful…)

Ooc note under the cut:

Hi, I’m an adult but don’t send NSFW asks please. I personally am asexual and Maria is 13 years old with no capability of aging. Just thought I’d put that out there.

When ooc, i use any pronouns (prefer they/them). Open to shipping stuff, just be normal about it.

Proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, bigots, etc. DNI

Overall just keep the interactions friendly. Banter is welcome, but make sure it’s clear that it’s in-character. :3

Oh also here’s the ref sheet for this specific Maria Blog!

[moon-ursidae]

ALRIGHT YA’LL KNOW THE DRILL HERE

there will be spoilers for all of the last of us part 1 and all of the last of us part 2 under the cut!!

i’ll be sharing my notes and thoughts as i play each session!!

again SPOILERS ARE UNDER THE CUT SO IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS DO NOT SELECT READ MORE

PLAY SESSION 1 (i am horrified)

i just want to start by saying that i already know a decent amount about this game. i never thought that i, myself, would be playing these games, so i watched playthroughs when they first came out. since then, spoilers have been plastered all over the internet. so. yknow. i’m aware of what i’m getting myself into. ANYWAY to the session log!

total play time: 6 and a half hours

HERE WE GO YA’LL

i haven’t opened the game yet AHH

i know the music is gonna ruin me

my heart is beating so fast

i’m configuring settings and i hear water oh god

FUCK IT’S THE BOAT

AHHHH

OKAY THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING

I HIT START AHHHHH

C H I L L S down my body just seeing the neck of the fucking guitar

i’m already tearing up from joel telling the story to tommy

THAT’S PEDRO PASCAL

THAT IS PEDRO PASCAL BITCH

IN THE CAR WHEN HE LOOKS TO THE SIDE BC ELLIE STARTED STIRRING AWAKE??

THAT IS JUST AN OLDER PEDRO BRO

ANYWAY sorry i just understand very much why they offered him this role

STOP THE CUT TO THE LAST CUTSCENE WHEN THE FIRST GAME ENDS I’M CRYING

AND THE MUSIC

FUCK YOU

this looks fucking amazing.

the fucking music. GUSTAVO. GENIUS BRO.

this is fucking gorgeous. i am taking my fuckin T I M E

STARRING ASHLEY JOHNSON TROY BAKER AND LAURA BAILEY I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT

WOOOO

THAT SHOT?? HIM WALKIN INTO TOWN?? JESUS F U C K

ARE WE ALREADY AT THE FUTURE DAYS CUTSCENE????

omg omg she’s listening to the song she sings in the trailer i think A H H

and the bandages on her arm where her scar is 🥺

the way that joel tucks his shirt in now omg such a dad

THE SAVAGE STARLIGHT POSTER🥹

THE STANCE™️

THE WAY THAT MY DAD DOES THIS SAME FUCKING THING WHERE HE’LL GO TO TELL ME A JOKE HE HEARD AND FORGOT IT

I’M GONNA C R Y LATER

HIS AWKWARD LIL STEPS TO THE DOOR TO GET THE GUITAR STOP

“you wanna hear sumn” JOEL PLEASE I’M GONNA SOB

troy has such a nice voice! and also to voice act while singing simultaneously?? crazy

THEY ARE SO-

UUGGGHHHHHH🥺🥺🥺

it’s always in the prologue that they showcase Joel being a dad and i’m like damn this is how me and my dad are and they’re like “would be a shame if something bad happened” and i SOB

“you kissed dina?” TEA

THE WAY SHE’S LIKE 😶

okay i already very much like jesse he seems like such a nice guy!

again i know what happens just let me have this goddamnit

ELLIE HAS A PS3 THAT’S WHAT’S UP BRO WHAT GAMES YOU GOT??

JAK AND DAXTER SLAY

UNCHARTED 1 & 2 SLAY

this taylor guitar is gorgeous bro AH

the pictures on her corkboard above the bed🥺

i wish we got to see and know more about cat she looks like a cool ass character

is that the toy she stole for sam?? i thought she left that at his grave? so it may be a new one to remember him by? i dunno

DINNER BREAK BEFORE I CONTINUE

okayyyy to the outside… where it’s snowing…. and ellie is wearing this outfit…

and joel and tommy are out scouting…

FUCK

i love how slowly through the environment it tells you how jackson survives. through community. it’s gorgeous worldbuilding.

FIRST CARD HELL YEA

IS THAT BUCKLEY??? AHHHH

AND GUSTAVO!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

HE’S PLAYING A VERSION OF THE LAST OF US THEME AHHHHHHH

I HEAR MARISHA RAY AND MATT MERCER?? AHHHHHHH CRITICAL ROLE CAST COME THROOUUUGGGHHHH

it’s also really wonderful to see kids being kids during this. especially for their age. they’re too young to deal with the bullshit that comes along with an apocalypse world

PEOPLE ARE SHIT TALKING ELLIE BRO THEY LITERALLY STARTING HUSHING EACH OTHER AS I APPROACHED LMAOOOOO

there are so many people at the bar at fucking 6:30am ya’ll

“i don’t wanna hear what that bigot has to say” as you fucking should ellie

also maria is so pretty!!!!

and dina is patroling w ellie?

sooooo many great signs here 🥲

“bigot sandwiches” SHE’S SO FUNNY

CARD #2 BRO YEEEAAAA

“we’re fine” BC THEY HAD THE TALK ON THE PORCH AND 😭😭😭😭😭😭

DIIIINNNNAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

“i’m not even playing!” THERE SHE IS FERAL ELLIE

“i hate this kid so much” okay and i love ellie

“you wanna fuck em up?” THEY’RE SO MADE FOR EACH OTHER YOU’RE JOKING

THE SNOWBALL FIGHT WAS SO FUCKING CUTE AHHHHH

DINA IS SO GOOD W KIDS 🥹

THE SPARKLES IN THE SNOW?? GODDAMN

DO I HEAR KHARY PAYTON AT THESE STABLES??

they even included the detail of farriers dude there is someone cleaning this horse’s hoof

AND YURI LOWENTHAL WOOOOOO

shimmer acquired ✅

I DON’T WANNA LEAVE JACKSON DUDE

and the music seems so ominous like HSKAHSKAHSOS

FUCK IT’S THE CABIN

I SAW MEL

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS EARLY?????

PLAYING AS HER?? THIS EARLY???

THE FABRIC ANIMATION ON HER SLEEPING BAG??? INSANE

listen i have nothing but raging and wholesome love for laura bailey but this one is gonna be difficult

her performance is phenomenal don’t get me wrong. this is just gonna be hard

THIS EARLY??

also they all start exiting a garage

joel rode the horse out of the garage

ellie lives in a remodeled garage/shed

and abby walks out of the garage w owen

idk if that’s a connection at all but just something i noticed i guess

owen also gives me weird vibes idk

this feels wrong being on the stick as abby

yooooooo that’s a really cool camera trick to convey her perception of heights and her fear

the snow and scenery look fucking gorgeous oh my god

FUCK of course he wanted to show her JACKSON

FUCKIN HELL

AND OF COURSE HE SAW JOEL AND TOMMY GO ON PATROL

MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

“assuming he’s in there, how do we get to him?”

I KNOW WHO THE FUCK THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT AND I’M SICK TO MY FUCKING STOMACH

AND NOW I HAVE TO LEAD HER TO JOEL???

F U C K DUDE I’M KAVSKABSKSH

i genuinely am so fucking anxious dude

like my hands are sweating and my stomach is turning over and i’m gonna vom bro

this is ALOT of dead folks oh my god

DODGE?? fuck yea

OH MY GOD THE WAY SHE STOMPED ITS HEAD AHHHH

this game is definitely more brutal damn

GOD THE INFECTED ARE SO MUCH SCARIER

“where’s the patrol?” NO WHERE. LONG GONE. SOOOOOOOOO GONE.

ellie and dina are so cute together

THE BONG💀

honestly eugene sounded pretty fuckin awesome i would wanna go out like him too

GOD I LOVE SNOWY ENVIRONMENTS

“i was thinking of inviting joel over for a movie” i- wh- 😭😭😭😭😭

cheesy 80s action movies??? MY KIND OF GUY BRO!

ALSO PLEASE NAUGHTY DOG STOP GIVING HIM MORE HUMANITYYYY AND GRAVITAS IT HUURTS

“you wanna meet up after?” “uhh.. okay. i’ll play guitar for you.” ELLIEEEEEEEEEE I SEE YOU

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYY

i was wondering when we would see infected

dina worried about ellie dying bc of infection and ellie’s like “deal.” 😶

oh shit this storm is picking up HELLA

EUGENE WAS A FIREFLY

i wish so badly for them to go more into joel and tommy’s time after outbreak day jfc

ANUTHA CARD

ANUTHA PS3

damn i wish we had a ps3 in the library

i love the new weapons upgrade system

like you physically see the gun change and add shit onto it

so dope

DAMN! eugene had WEED bro

but this also means….

it’s super close now..

“smash bradi’s cooch” BRO NOT THE PLAY ON NAUGHTY DOG GAME TITLES

omg plz the way she breaks the joint jar

THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE I MEANT TO LOOK AT BEFORE THIS CUTSCENE GODDAMNIT

their chemistry is CRAZZYYYYY dude i feel like i’m intruding on their time

THE WAY ELLIE LOOKS AT HEEERRRRRRR

THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHERRRRRRRR

THE WAY SHE FLICKS THE JOINT AND GRABS HER FACE WAS SMOOOOOOTH AS FUCK

oh no. ohhhhh no. i am now abby. oh fuck.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

A HORDE???? THIS IS HORRIFYING OH MY GOD

THE FENCE IS GONNA CRUSH MEEEEEEEEE

i have to pause. it’s joel. i-

FUUUUUCK

FUCK. HER REACTION WHEN TOMMY TELLS HER ITS JOEL. FUCK.

LAURA BAILEY IS SO GOOD

AND THE WAY HER VOICE GETS SHAKY?

LAUUURRRRAAAAAAAAAA

TELLING THEM WHERE HER FRIENDS ARE AND THAT’S GONNA LEAD THEM TO THE CABIN AND FUUUUUUUUUUUCK MAN.

GOOODDD LAURA’S ACTING. JESUS.

AND THEN CUT TO ELLIE AND DINA AHHH

WAIT I THOUGHT SHE TOLD DINA SHE WAS IMMUNE LATER???? IS SHE GOING TO RN??

SHE IS. OH MY GOD.

i’m lowkey glad she doesn’t believe it

“tommy and joel didn’t show up”

NOT PREPARED

FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY’RE INSIDE THE HOUSE NOW

i literally feel sick to my stomach i’m so worried for him and tommy and ellie bro

tommy’s being so nice to them offering them supplies and everything too GOOOOODDDDDD

FUUUUUCK THE WAY THEY ALL LOOK UP AT HIM WHEN HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF AS JOEL

FUUUUUCK THE SHOTGUN

when i tell you that i am so close to losing my dinner i am not joking

THE EMOTION IN HIS EYES WHEN HE LOOKED AT ELLIE

HE LOOKED SO TIRED BUT SO SCARED FOR ELLIE

i am pausing. jesus fucking christ. (stopped for a good while here bc obvious reasons)

it hurts me knowing that ellie didn’t even have the strength to even stand up when dina found her and joel and tommy.

tommy coming to check on her😭

she looks about as bad as i do rn

my poor sweet ellie🥺

tommy’s so awkward bc he’s probably like “does joel want me to treat her like a daughter? do i carry on what he started? do i try to forge this relationship with her?” and struggling to tell ellie that they may not be able to afford going to seattle if it means that ALL of jackson would be vulnerable. bc he doesn’t like it either. he wants to go for abby too.

FUCK man.

THE HUG.

F U C K

THE HEADSTONE STOP

the lil chair and wind chimes outside🥹

all the flowers out front??????

he really had an impact on jackson🥺

her hand shaking at the door FUCK

HE HAD A COWBOY HAAATTTT😭😭😭😭

HIS OWL MUG 😭

IS THIS PAGE OF HER JOURNAL WET WITH TEARS?? AND/ OR TEAR STAINED???

THE MUSEUM PAMPHLET A H H

her drawing of him oh my god i’m C R Y I N G

you can tell he loved her so much. there’s pieces of her all over the house.

HE NEVER FINISHED HIS CARPENTRY PROJECT

THE MIRROR IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM IS OFF THE WALL AND COVERED. JOEEELLLL.😭😭😭😭😭

it looks broken as well. maybe i’m reading too much into it. maybe not

THE PICTURE OF HIM AND SARAH IN A WHITE FUCKING FRAME I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

AND A PICTURE OF HIM AND ELLIE NEXT TO IT

no one look at me. no one talk to me. no one perceive me. oh my fucking god.

his jacket and how ellie just stays there. oh my god.

THE WATCH.

THE MUSIC.

I’M FUCKING DONE DUDE.

is that his fucking shirt from the night he lost sarah. i fuckin-

NAUGHTY DOOOOGGGGGGGG

the idiots guide to space book and readers on the bedside table😭😭 SO HE COULD TALK TO ELLIE ABOUT SPAAAACE

bless maria’s heart dude. i love her

SEATTLE DAY 1

omg she’s telling dina the story about the hunter that tried to drown joel in the hotel

alright i’m stopping here before going forward bc i’m fucking exhausted emotionally and physically haha

jesus fucking christ is how i would summarize that first session. jesus fucking christ.

[floriannas]

What Exactly Gothic Is

(Let me preface with trigger warnings, because Gothic makes a point of delving into dark themes: murder, abuse, racism, homophobia, incest, ableism, misogyny)

I have seen certain posts about what the definite characteristics of gothic fiction are that, I hate to say...felt either incomplete or inaccurate. And that has bothered me enough to make my own post about, at the very least, my understanding of this genre. 

Some things to get out of the way:

Gothic does not have one fixed definition. It is fluid and nebulous, and while all literature reflects its society, genre changes massively depending on where it was written. Canadian Gothic is not Welsh Gothic is not American Gothic. Victorian Gothic is not contemporary Gothic is not Regency Gothic. Nineteenth century British gothic is often in response to the drastic technological changes of the industrial revolution. Welsh Gothic has a lot of focus on the disenfranchised and the coal mining industry. Where and when your WIP is, and where and when YOU are writing it, is going to define it. 

We cannot talk about Gothic as a genre without talking about the racism that much of it is rooted in. We cannot ignore Charlotte Bronte’s dehumanising description of Bertha Rochester, a creole woman. We cannot ignore that Edward Hyde’s physical description is less ‘white’ than Henry Jekyll’s. We cannot ignore Heathcliff’s identity as a racially ambiguous villain. We cannot ignore just how bigoted in every way Dracula is. We CANNOT ignore the whiteness of much of the ‘feminist’ gothic literature, either. This is something you must be aware of if you're writing Gothic - it is not integral to gothic fiction but as I will explain, the traits of the genre lend themselves to antagonising marginalised groups.

Gothic is not just gothic horror. It can be horror, but it is still a genre in its own right and the horror is not mandatory.  

This post is about gothic as a literary genre. I will not be talking about Ostrogoths, Visigoths, gothic architecture or art, and - for once - I’m not talking about the Goth subculture either, the two actually have almost nothing in common.

Some frequent, though not all required, characteristics of the gothic (this is NOT a checklist. I cannot stress that this is a genre purposefully WITHOUT a clear definition):

Familial trauma - the ending of family lines (the presence of the aristocracy is common in Gothic, this trope perhaps most blatantly depicted in Edgar Allan Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher), hauntings - not necessarily literal but metaphorical. There’s often a secret, or some kind of terrible incident that has been covered up, amongst a family that is inevitably unearthed. Marital trauma is very common - as seen in Jane Eyre with the original ‘madwoman in the attic’, the mystery surrounding the titular character in Rebecca, the secret room of The Bloody Chamber, the murdered husband being literally unearthed in House of America. 

The setting is everything in Gothic. It often has a presence enough that it is a character in its own right. Key things about the setting is that it’s typically old - or at least old enough to have a turbulent history - and typically remote, ‘feral’, in amongst nature and separate from civilisation. The latter is very often executed in a racist and/or xenophobic way in Gothic classics. Think very critically of what is considered ‘civilisation’ and what is not. Dracula being a novel about white Christian Britons being threatened by an Eastern European vampire? Don’t replicate that. You will also see the ‘sublime’ (see below) here, and motifs of decay (which can be linked to the ending of a family line easily!), and themes surrounding imprisonment and escape. Gothic fiction loves pathetic fallacy - whether a storm, fog, rain or bitter cold, the weather is absolutely there to set the tone.

Repression. This can be of a trauma, but repression of sexuality can feature too. I have seen it asserted that homoeroticism is a key component in Gothic, and while it can feature, I would not say entirely agree, for a number of reasons. There is often a focus on ‘taboo’ sexuality, a categorisation which places LGBT people with taboos such as incest (which features often in some forms of Gothic). Homophobic tropes such as the predatory gay villain (e.g. Dracula’s obsession with Jonathan Harker and Mrs Danver’s obsession with Rebecca) are fairly common, and a general treatment of homosexuality as immoral or depraved especially older texts, so let’s not act like it’s always been a LGBT friendly genre. Something either hidden away or repressed that is then discovered is a huge, huge, component to most gothic fiction. 

Misogynistic gender dynamics are often present: the combination of a young, vulnerable and innocent woman with an older male ‘Byronic Hero’ type love interest is common. The Victorian template of ‘bad’, ‘promiscuous’ or otherwise ‘improper’ woman reaching a sticky end is well loved. And then there’s Poe’s sinister obsession with ‘beautiful dead woman’. Don’t forget the intersection of ableism and misogyny with the ‘mad’ women like Bertha Rochester and Miss Havisham (though Eleanor Vance of The Haunting of Hill House is a sympathetic antidote of this trope.) The way women are written is something I’d very much like us to move beyond. 

The sublime: this is everywhere. That something, especially the wilderness, is beautiful and massive enough to be incomprehensible. 

Doubles or doppelgangers. Often as a ‘darker’ reflection of the protagonist - such as the hero and villain having close parallels, or the heroine as a foil to her husband’s mysterious dead first wife. It doesn’t have to exist just in this way, but the motif of the doppelganger is one Gothic fiction likes a lot.

‘Otherness’ or monstrosity. ‘Otherness’ and ‘Othering’ is something that is a crucial part of literary theory - what the narrative deems strange, unfamiliar, not like us, and so most depictions of monsters will also be Othered. Considering how almost all of the time in the Western literary canon this is a vehicle for racism, please think critically. Frankenstein’s monster has a more nuanced approach to what society defines as strange, or monstrous, how monstrosity is created, and self fulfilling prophecies. 

Cultural anxiety. This is by no means unique to Gothic but the genre is shaped by what the society of its creation is afraid of. This - like Frankenstein or The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde - can be scientific advancement and new discoveries we do not yet understand, but the problem arises that for a lot of Western Gothic this has been marginalised groups. 

The Uncanny. As found in various forms of horror - same with the fear of the unknown, but often in Gothic - that something resembles something else enough to recognise at least what it ‘tries’ to be, but not enough for it to be truly familiar. This is a really effective way to make any person, place, or thing unsettling.

I think I’ve covered most of my notes - please take my first bullet point into consideration as this will inevitably be a bit UK centric. The thing about gothic is that it doesn’t really have one fixed meaning, so you have a lot of freedom. Bonus: if you want to read a really good gay feminist Gothic short story, ‘The Resident’ by Carmen Maria Machado is one of the best pieces of fiction, ever. 

[mariaiscrafting]

I am so sorry to bother you, but I just had to ask as someone who is fairly new to the fandom: What has Karl done that made people mad at him?

I was also reading through your asks and saw everything on Dream (as a fellow Mexican- ouch.) But I guess my second question is which members aren't problematic and are okay to still like them? Sorry if it all seems random, I've just been trying to get some answers and this seemes like the best place to get them.

I'm not the best person to ask about Karl since I stopped paying attention to him by the end of February, but based on the asks I've gotten and the discourse I've seen here and there, here are the valid things I’ve seen people get mad at him for:

The autism charity stream many celebrities and CCs participated in, which Karl was invited to. Karl apologized on his alt Twitter account arguably later than he should've, and Mr. Beast continued on to participate in the charity anyways.

Traveling cross-country during the pandemic, before getting vaccinated: 1 2 3

Associating with and watching/being a part of the community of streamer, Ice Poseidon: 1 2

I have seen other criticism for Karl because people think he clout chases, dislike how loud/energetic he is, dislike Mr. Beast & co., etc., but personally? I think those are biased, evidenceless reasons that aren’t based on any moral transgression on his part, so I’m disregarding those.

(Note for others: please do not send me asks regarding this post, adding to the context for Karl. If you have any more information that I missed, add it in replies/reblogs, so the original anon can more easily see.)

*****

For your next question, my answer is that it’s okay to like virtually any MCYT creator, as far as I know. Welcome to mcytblr, where there is almost no right or wrong to the people you watch or stan! Despite everything I say about Dream, all the asks I get about Karl, or any of the other CCs I’ve criticized, everyone has the right to like or enjoy any CC they wish (to an extent). It takes a lot- like, extremist and/or genuinely harmful stuff- to convince me that a CC should be completely blacklisted from people’s radars. As of now though, no MCYT CC or Dream SMP member that I can think of besides CallMeCarson has done anything immoral enough to warrant the dictation of who can or can’t like them.

Almost every CC has done or said questionable things that could warrant “cancelling” in some people’s eyes. As I’ve previously said, there are many factors people can keep in mind when evaluating someone’s actions or words, and that final evaluation can vary from person to person within the fandom. Because CCs aren’t people we personally know, we get a very limited scope of their past, their intentions, and their personalities; as such, we each, based on our biases, preferences, and information received, will come to different conclusions on whether or not we forgive/accept the apologies of each CC. 

This isn’t Twitter. That is to say, most of mcytblr doesn’t want to dictate who you can or can’t stan. The MCYT CCs in this fandom have done an array of things, including- used ableist, racist, homophobic, and misogynistic slurs; joked about suicide, mental health, sexual assault, anti-semitism, genocide, feminism/misogyny, and racism; expressed classist, transphobic, racist, and misogynistic political beliefs; excluded colleagues and other creators based on bigoted beliefs; supported bigoted organizations and/or people. They have done these things over a span of time ranging from 7 years ago to a few months ago. Stated out-of-context, this makes it seem like this is a fandom full of people stanning bigots. 

But lack of context and snap judgements are for Twitter. The reality is that some people tweeted some edgy joke years ago; some people said slurs when they were playing FPS’s as young teenagers; some people made and/or make edgy jokes whilst never expressing genuine belief in those jokes. If you were to summarize the things I have done/said in the past 7 years the way a Twitter user or your average Tumblr anti-MCYT user would, you’d say: “Maria has said ableist and homophobic slurs; expressed xenophobic, Islamaphobic, homophobic, and racist political beliefs; and spouted transphobic and homophobic rhetoric.” That makes me sound like a horrible person, and who is to judge whether or not I am or even was a horrible person? Based on the apologies I have made, the way I treat people now, the length of time that has passed since I said those words or committed those actions, the severity of the bigoted things I have done or said, and the the actions I take and words I use today, the people in my life get to determine if they think I am currently ableist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic, or transphobic. 

Along a similar vein, it is up to each of us to determine if we believe a CC has changed, if we should accept their apology for whatever they did. And if you don’t, then guess what? You don’t have to watch them.

All I suggest is, if it bothers you that much, try to collect as much unbiased information as possible, so you can make an informed decision. Don’t just rely on Twitter thread summaries or Insider/Medium-style articles or my posts to make your decisions. Find the original video, screenshot, etc. Find the timestamp. Watch the CC and determine whether or not they express the bigoted beliefs or prejudices their past actions would suggest. There is no “right” answer. I might think Dream hasn’t changed because of many reasons I’ve repeated entirely too many times, but there are many people who wouldn’t agree with me, and yk what? That’s fine. If you want to forgive a CC someone else doesn’t, who gives a fuck? 

Disclaimer: None of this applies to CallMeCarson or anyone else who has committed actions of a similar or more severe extent. Fuck CallMeCarson

[thelastofgala]

I started The Last of Us, Pt. 2 last night, and here are my first impressions, musings on parallelism, Naturalism, Ellie’s characterization, Joel’s characterization, the “presence” of Riley, gameplay, story development, and more:

***SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT***

Starting with Joel. I always imagined The Last of Us 2 would begin at the end of Joel’s journey, though I will say that I did not expect to pick up so close to the end of the first game. I thought they would start us somewhere COMPLETELY out of context. Like I was prepared for much deeper flashback. In this way, I really felt like I was playing a sequel, which is not a bad thing. I just had no idea how they were going to frame this. The compelling thing about starting with Joel is that it immediately sets up parallels between Joel and Sarah, the character we start with in The Last of Us. There’s no way this was not a pointed decision. Just like it was with Sarah, Joel is our point of reference in a new, strange world. His point of view in this new world is all that we know. We don’t know what the new special world contains, and we don’t know grown-up Ellie at all. Plus, old fans will have missed him. It is a comfort to be Joel, and like a daughter protected by her father, a false and short-lived comfort. We are also now thinking of Joel as, like Sarah, someone who is in danger, whose agency is compromised, who, for whatever reason, is weakened this time around, and who may not survive the story. 

I will say, too, that I really loved that after the 4-years-later cut, Joel is held off-screen. He and Tommy are out on a patrol. They are out there, in danger, and that sort of restraint is really effective. We are ALWAYS looking for Joel, just like we were in the run-up to the release, because he is the only person we truly know in this strange, new world. ND knows and takes advantage of this.

There are many parallels between Joel and Riley. Both Joel and Riley sneak up on Ellie during their first interaction. They’re even wearing similar colors. Both Joel and Riley lied to Ellie in the previous story, and both betrayed her as an act of self-preservation. In Left Behind, Ellie is somewhat chilly toward Riley in the beginning, even as her younger, more optimistic self, just as Ellie is chilly toward Joel in the beginning of The Last of Us 2. Still, you can tell through Ellie’s dialogue with Dina that she and Joel are knitted together—he defended her against the bigoted bartender, and she appreciates this even if she doesn’t outright say it. They share taste in movies and have plans to watch a movie together soon. I haven’t interacted with Joel in the current timeline, but I do know that in Left Behind, Riley has to earn back Ellie’s trust and take measures to reenter her good graces, and that this is a large part of their relationship arc. I also know that, by the time they reconcile, it proves to be too late. The world will not let them have what they want, and nothing is simple. All of these parallels worry me a lot, as Left Behind, while still driven by a strong undercurrent of love (it is a love story, interwoven with Ellie’s desperate search for medical supplies in a bid to save Joel’s life), is a much bleaker, sadder story than The Last of Us, and it has a tragic ending.

Joel's conversation with Tommy feels important. I was very glad to hear Tommy say that he would have made the same choice, in terms of saving Ellie or letting her die for the possibility of a cure. It shows that Tommy is more like Joel than perhaps we knew. Plus, Maria will have taught him something about love and commitment, as the notion of saving the one you love above all else should make more sense to him now that he has foregone the youthful idealism of the Fireflies in order to focus on the practical wisdom of family. As a parent, I understand Joel’s decision to save Ellie at the end of The Last of Us and know I would have done the same. I also understand why Joel lied, even though I think it was the wrong choice. Hearing him confide all of this in Tommy was cathartic. It was also very characteristic of Joel to respond that Ellie “didn’t say nothing otherwise” when Tommy asks if she believed him. In all of his denial, Joel chooses to believe what is conveniently in front of him, even if he knows it’s untrue. Also, I couldn’t tell, but was that a Firefly logo on that guitar he’s shining up? Maybe I hallucinated that. But if it is, I do wonder where he got it.

Ellie’s character is much more deadpan and ruminative in young adulthood. She seems tired, and a little lacking in self-esteem and sort of immediately defeated by what happened during the experience with Joel. When Joel sang, we could see her return to that place, just a glimmer, and her response—that it “didn’t suck”—shows how she still shields her heart with sarcasm, something Dina points out to her later on (“Did I ruin your punchline?”). Joel has been broken down by the events of The Last of Us and now bears his soul to her with his music, unabashed and dedicated to her, and Ellie is now the stoic one, unshakable, sealed inside a heavy, protective armor that seems impossible to pierce. I look forward to getting to know Ellie as a young adult and, ultimately, crying a lot. She is artistic and honest and still a little soft underneath. You can tell by her early interactions with Dina especially that she can still blush, and she can still come undone.

I love the snowball fight lol. I am always so frustrated when these big environment games, like Red Dead 2, Dragon Age, etc., don’t have any kids running around. Why don’t these stories pay attention to kids? Kids exist. They are an important part of almost any open world or quasi open world environment. I love the presence of kids in The Last of Us 2, because the loss of childhood innocence is an important theme for Ellie as a character. It’s also clear we’re trying to set up the edenic innocence of Jackson. It is childhood, in a way, and just like childhood, it will come to inevitable corruption. The scene, too, reminded me of Ellie and Riley on their teen dream adventure, romping through the Halloween store at the mall, trying on masks and talking to the magic eight ball.

I’m really pleased by all the parallels with Left Behind and Ellie’s portion of the journey in The Last of Us. Winter was her season, and that’s where we’re starting now. The horseback riding, the blizzard, and all the blood in the snow bring flashbacks of Ellie hunting on the woods, Ellie alone in the frozen mall, David, and the Lakeside Resort, all of which layer the current moment with a lot of emotional tension for the player.

The opening is, I think, sprawling. I’m having fun but there’s this sense that I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the story. Like Joel in the first game, Ellie is also big-timing me a little and I feel far away from her. I know this will change soon, and I’ll warm up to her, but for now, like Joel, we’re all being held at arm’s length. I actually like the POV shifts we’ve gotten so far and the multiple POVs is something I predicted a while ago, based on ND’s tendencies in the first game. Ppl are going to give The Last of Us 2 shit for being too cinematic but tbh it sometimes feels more like a playable novel than a traditional video game. We’re on a cable car headed straight into disaster and there’s nothing we can do. In this way the game is using the medium itself to perpetuate its Naturalistic themes. We play and we play, and we fight and we fight, but the environment entertains no interest in our struggle and the outcome will always be the same. There is no free will in The Last of Us.

On that note, the gameplay so far is, I think, pretty fun. I have played a lot of stealth games and am always looking for ways the genre is reinventing itself. Like Sekiro and Tomb Raider, The Last of Us 2 is increasing the verticality of the map with rope climbing and scaling up obstacles (though I do miss using Joel’s immense upper body strength to move those dumpsters around lol). In a stealth game I want creativity and problem solving to be central to the gameplay. I don’t want to be magically handed tools and weapons on a constant basis, to meet every individual need. I want to be forced into resourcefulness, and I don’t want to enter a shoot-out unless I absolutely have to. That said, I’m nearly to the tower checkpoint with Dina, and I’ve only fired my gun twice. The dodge/melee mechanic is neat, but more than anything, having real, actionable help from an AI enables stealth kills even in zones crawling with enemies. On that note, I am playing with a headset, and I’m glad I am, because I find the sounds of the goddam clickers to be all-encompassing this time around and a LOT bigger and scarier than they were in The Last of Us. Holy shit. They’re absolutely terrifying. I can only imagine the horror to come lol.

Now, finally, Abby: I don’t have much to offer on this yet. Abby is not who I thought she’d be. I’ll just say it. Still, the melee battle with her and the runners in the woods was AWESOME. For me, the most fun I’ve had yet, because it was completely different than anything from The Last of Us. Playing her, however, I will say, filled me with foreboding. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to help her. She seems beyond desperate and while deeply sympathetic, she is a new character and her loyalties are not mine...so far. I could be very wrong, and please don’t correct me if I am, but I get the sense she might be a Firefly, or somehow associated with Marlene, and she is looking for Joel, in vengeance. Her group was small and rogue, and they seemed new to the area. All I know is that ND is creating a moral dilemma here, and as to what will become of this, the jury is still out completely.

One small personal criticism, take it or leave it: I don’t personally love that the kiss with Dina and scene with Joel defending Ellie was kept off-stage in the game and left to the trailer. We could have started at the dance. That would have taught us everything we need to know about Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Joel and Ellie’s relationship state. This is my only criticism of the story so far. From a writer’s perspective, it’s just inefficient and clumsy to try and cover all that in expositional dialogue, taking into consideration that many casual players will not have seen all the trailers. Even still, it’s not hurting my experience in any way. Just an observation and maybe a bit of personal opinion on the fact that perhaps the choice to reveal so much scene in pre-release trailers might be a great way to build hype but might not be the most efficient choice in telling the actual story. My two cents!

In the end, I’m overall super excited and can’t wait to keep playing. These are just my own personal thoughts, and I’ll be back with more thoughts soon!! PLEASE NO SPOILERS OR SPOILERY SUGGESTIONS IN THE REPLIES!! I am NOT privy to the leaks and I do NOT want to know what’s coming. Thank you!! ^_^ 

[lazywriter7]

Marvel Ace/Aro Rec List

Happy Pride everyone! It’s 30 June where I’m at, and although I didn’t get to actually write something ace-coloured for Pride, I thought I could atleast show some love - mostly towards the numerous fics I’ve read in this fandom that mainly feature characters on the ace/aro spectrum.  Characters and pairings may vary, and please make sure to read all tags and take care of yourself before diving in, as some of these feature internalised phobia (but always a happy ending <3 ). So go forth and show these authors some love!

grey and other colours by theappleppielifestyle  (steve/tony, demisexual, demiromantic Tony)

Distantly, Tony hears Clint say something like, “No, I definitely heard he was an equal opportunist. Like, equal-equal, no preference. Hey Tones, who are you attracted to more, dudes or chicks?”

He calls the last part out to Tony, who runs the words over in his mind and unthinkingly says, “I’ve actually never been attracted to anyone, it’s really worrying.”

~ this one’s a staple in the ace stevetony fandom, and the first I ever read. Sweet, poignant and beautifully written, capturing Tony’s changing feelings with lovely nuance.

Variations in Modern Dance by  Pookaseraph (steve/tony, asexual Steve)

There's only one thing in the world that Steve has decided the 21st century isn't alright with: not wanting to have sex. Sadly that seems to be the one thing the Serum couldn't fix, and it's playing hell with his ability to deal with his feelings for Tony. Thankfully Tony is a brilliant engineer, and he might be able to find a solution, or maybe he'll realize there's nothing there to fix.

~ I think this fic serves as great companion reading to the one above. Some of the conversations had by the characters are (deliberately) not always delicately phrased, but there’s a lovely sense of openness, self-discovery as well as self-acceptance that’s complimented by solid, solid writing.

Chance by SallyExactly (asexual Nat, Clint & Nat brotp)

Clint Barton's snap decision to re-interpret his mission orders means a new life for Natalia Romanova. She's only got the one shot at it, though, and "how to live and remake yourself in three easy steps" was never included in her assassin training.

~ anyone who knows me knows that I never miss an opportunity to rec this fic. This is one of the best fics I’ve ever read, one of the best spy stories I’ve ever read, and it just happens to feature an asexual, female protagonist. The asexuality is honestly not the main point of the story, just one of the several things Natasha discovers and reclaims about herself, along with a lifelong friendship - and all of those things make this fic absolutely excellent.

A Practical Glossary for the Twenty-first Century by shadowen (sam/bucky, asexual Bucky)

Some words are easier than others.

~ There’s a line from this fic that goes: What he’s having trouble with is matching new words to old feelings and figuring out which words are right for all the things he feels right now. And if that’s the sort of poignant character journey you want to read for Bucky, man is this the fic for you. Lovely writing, compulsory amoeba joke, a really soft Sam... this has something for everyone :P

No Such Thing as Normal by nightwalker (steve/tony, asexual Steve)

“I understand if you want to break up,” Steve said, the words spilling out of his mouth like they were hot on his tongue. He hadn’t meant to say it quite like that and not so early in the conversation, but it’s out there now, loud and heavy between them and he can’t pretend he didn’t say it.

~ this fic is essentially a well-written, honest conversation between two characters navigating unfamiliar waters, and I like that a lot. It’s also great about representing a different facet or kind of asexuality than we sometimes read in fandom, which is all sorts of excellent because being in a spectrum do be like that :D 

Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel (aromantic, asexual maria hill) "Darcy was convinced it was going to become part of SHIELD’s oral history forever, like that time everyone on this one op was doused with sex pollen and the only one who didn’t screw someone senseless was then not-yet-deputy director Agent Hill, and Robards said it was because she was a frigid lesbian and Hill told him that the term was asexual and if he was going to be a bigoted asshole about it he could at least get her orientation right. And then Coulson made him go through the hardcore diversity and sexual harassment training as punishment, because everyone knew Hill and Coulson were bros."

Maria Hill is honestly pretty happy with her life.

~ You know when you’re kinda done with the emotion-heavy angst of being an LGBTQIA+ person, and you just kinda wanna consume content that deals with unquestioned acceptance and awesomeness? This is that fic. Maria Hill is that woman. And I love. After the Applause by  tartanfics (peggy/angie, demisexual Angie)

Angie doesn't have anyone waiting for her out in the audience. She didn't get to tell Peggy she finally got a part in a show; Peggy wasn't there to tell. She ran lines with Sarah from 4A. There's been not a word from Peggy, nothing, after Angie went to all the trouble of calling up her family and finding Peggy a way out of the city.

~ not to be tooo controversial, but do I wish that Peggy Carter’s story ended something like the above fic? Yes, yes I do <3 Set post season 1 of Agent Carter, this fic is everything you’d want a get-together to be, plus bonus demisexual Angie! Win-win all around.

And now for some self-recs: to love and to hold (aroace bruce banner, asexual natasha, queerplatonic brucenat) His expression was a little too brittle. “Lucky for you I’m a bit too much of a coward for sex, then.”

But Natasha’s lips only flattened, gaze implacable. “Have you thought not wanting to do something might not be the same as being a coward?”

untitled aro Rhodey ficlet (aro rhodey, tony & rhodey brotp)

Because here’s the thing: there are no butterflies in the world that Rhodey resides. No whirlwind rush of emotions, no dusky blush rising to his skin when someone flashes a cute smile his way, no impassioned, well-meant love notes he was smuggling into people’s lockers at recess.

All his friends come to him for love-related advice; but he feels like a scientist, observing phenomena he can analyse but not understand, proselytising about another species from afar.

And that’s it folks! Please feel free to add your own recs on, this is really by no means an exhaustive list and we deserve nice things this year - happy Pride again!

[veryvincible]

The Shitstorm That Is TS:IM and IM2020: The Tony Critique

Part 1 / 4!

Because this sucks, and we need to acknowledge that this sucks.

2 3 4

First of all, a nod to the stunning art that these issues feature. I’m sorry, artists, that you had to work with plotlines so damning. Now that that’s over with, let’s start from the first issue of Tony Stark: Iron Man.

The first thing you’ll probably notice is the result of 616 canon being negatively affected by the characterization of the MCU. Now, the MCU is an entirely different universe. Tony Stark acts differently here because, well... MCU Tony Stark is a different person than 616 Tony Stark. Ultimates Tony Stark is also a different person than 616 Tony Stark. Iron Man Noir is also-- You get the point. These Tonys act differently because they have different natures branching off of the same core. They have different experiences. They have different environments and resources.

So, to understand why it’s totally mega-fucked for 616 Tony’s personality to undergo such a dramatic change, you have to understand what 616 Tony originally was and how he acted.

I have a lot to say about 616 Tony, but we don’t have time for that, so here’s a breakdown from @sineala​ that does an excellent job of giving you the rundown. In essence, 616 Tony is mellow. He’s calmer. He’s charismatic, but in an adult scholarly way. He’s what you’d picture if someone said “respectable businessman” out loud. The closest to 616 Tony the MCU has ever gotten is mid-CW, where Tony’s somber with undertones of guilt and exhaustion. This is him.

616 Tony also has a lot of respect for people. There’s always the odd comic that characterizes him as bigoted in some way, shape, or form, but he consistently puts minorities in positions of power, and for literal decades has appreciated and funded certain charities and organizations that aim to do the same thing. Tony treats people with respect even after they’ve severely wronged him.

So, when the first issue makes our low-key, melancholy Tony Stark who treats people with a professional baseline of respect say wacky shit like this:

We get kind of frustrated.

Not to mention the fact that Tony’s past has also been adjusted to fit the desires of the writers, who seem to have forgotten that Tony was canonically a quiet and sensitive kid (hence why Howard wanted him to “man up” so hard).

"Quiet and sensitive.”

Anyway, here’s further evidence that this run is MCU-ifying Tony Stark in order to make him more friendly to the MCU-to-Comic demographics:

Sitting down onstage to talk to the press is such a Tony thing to do, right?

Well, sure, if you watched Iron Man 1 (and even then, that was one speech! Just one!) If you read any comic featuring Tony at his 616-est, however, you’d figure out pretty quickly that this man likes a podium. His tone is professional, as opposed to conversational. He doesn’t center his whole personality around the fact that he’s an authority figure, but he also doesn’t go out of his way to make himself seem like he’s not. He’s in a position of power. He knows it.

For reference, here’s what “knowing it” looks like. Obviously, this is a more formal occasion than a regular ol’ press conference would be, but... you get the point. This is pretty much his vibe.

And then there’s this bullshit, which is obviously a nod to the MCU in the most shocking and upsetting of ways. Note the trademark pose, the “We are Iron Man,” most likely pointing to both the “I am Iron Man” bit that the MCU had (which 616 Tony didn’t do the second the superhero was popularized, because he was spending all of his time living his life identity-porn style), and maybe the “We are Groot” bit from GOTG.

The thing is, this “We are Iron Man!” mentality fits... no Tony. MCU Tony sees Iron Man as a part of himself. 616 Tony often refers to Iron Man as a separate entity (not concept, but entity) from himself, better and more desirable than him, when he’s having his shittiest days.

And then there’s shit like this, which is objectively shitty. But because Tony’s funky new playboy attitude is comedic and all, he’s going to ignore the fact that Rhodey’s having a post-traumatic episode just piloting the suit (which he’s doing because Tony asked him to, when he could have asked... I don’t know, anyone else?) in favor of being a dick to him.

“You’re all over the place,” says the character who’s canonically diagnosed with MDD and experiences severe PTSD of his own to the other character who has severe PTSD and is being hardcore triggered by something he’s previously referred to as a metal coffin or casket or something.

That’s not even beginning to mention the fact that he’s calling Sunset Bain, a canonically manipulative and shitty ex (who, fun fact, was 5 years older than “undergrad Tony Stark” at MIT, and convinced Tony to keep her a secret from Howard and Maria) “the pretty-but-evil lady.”

So... she’s abusive, but at least she’s hot! And Tony still feels this way about her despite the fact that she, uh... stole some of his ideas, split up with him soon after, and then founded her entire company off of these ideas.

Very cool, Marvel. Thanks for that.

And hey, remember Tony’s fucking awesome quote from Avengers Vol 4?

“I can create a world without war. I can make a world without alcohol or drugs. Without hate or jealousy. But then it wouldn't be the world we live in. Nothing would be learned, nothing would be gained. We wouldn't advance as species.”

Well, here’s a fun fact. He doesn’t give a shit about any of that anymore, because fuck depth, right? Now he wants to ctrl+alt+delete the shit that makes him sad. And obviously, obviously alcoholism is something that’s understandably hated. Of course he’d want to get rid of it ASAP. But this is a guy who practically lives in guilt, a guy who thinks he deserves all the shit he gets and only ever crawls out of it for the sake of his loved ones.

That’s not this Tony. 

And then there’s this. Honestly, I have no words for this. If it were some joke intended for an audience around him, then sure, it could work. It’s not like Tony never makes these kinds of jokes.

But this is just him. Him and a recording of himself in a room. Him, saying “I love the sound of my own voice” to himself despite the fact that we have decades of 616 canon proving the opposite.

There are many, many other issues with these issues (pun intended, but please read it with a cynical, if not completely hostile, tone) and how Tony acts within them, but I’m going to go more in-depth with those in some separate posts.

Because this is Hell. For my sins, I’ve become a torturer. For yours, you have to be subjected to even more of TS:IM than anyone should be exposed to.

[louuieferrignojr]

title: middle of a moment (crossposted to ao3)

summary: coda to 2.08. alex gets drunk and michael takes him home.

author’s note: when you try writing a forlex fic but then it turns into a malex fic, this happens lol

“Between you and me, making out with a hot guy in public, is only made hotter when it pisses off all the bigots and homophobes.”

It had been two weeks since Forrest said those words in Alex in the Wild Pony and Alex felt stuck. Between trying to figure out what his dad and Flint were plotting, trying to figure out if he still had any friends since they barely reached out to him, and trying to get out of his glass closet, Alex was tired.

He was exhausted.

He was tired of fighting.

He wanted to break the glass, but the idea had haunted him for the past month.

He really needed a drink.

--

“Michael, why is Alex Manes trying to drink those cowboys under the table over there?” Isobel asked her brother warily, raising an eyebrow as she had her head turned towards the bar.

Michael looked up from the pool table in alarm, taking notice of the idiotic townies who were yelling slurs at Alex as he drank beer after beer, taunting him. He dropped the pool cue quickly and ran over to the bar.

“Hey!” The group dispersed, but not before one of them let out a rude remark.

“Who knew the fairy could hold his beer?” He kicked Alex’s stool out from under him but Michael grabbed Alex before he could fall. If looks could kill, the glare Michael sent the homophobe would have made him drop dead.

“I want ‘nother,” Alex slurred, his eyes trying to look up at the bar, but his head felt too heavy and he leaned it against Michael’s shoulder.

Michael shook his head at the bartender, before he lifted Alex into his arms. Alex let his head fall against Michael’s chest, too out of it to speak again.

“What happened Alex?” He whispered, looking down at his ex.

He walked over to Isobel, noting her look of concern break through her put-together exterior, and shifted Alex in his arms.

“I’m taking him home. Let Maria know.” He’d have to explain to her later the ordeal, but for now all he cared about was Alex. He had never seen Alex this drunk before. If Michael was honest with himself, he had never seen Alex drunk, period, and he didn’t know how he felt about it.

--

After finding Alex’s car keys in his pocket, the drive home was silent other than the soft snores coming from Alex in his inebriated state.

Why did Alex get hammered?

Michael had heard through the grapevine that Forrest and Alex had gone on a date, or so he thought. He heard from Maria herself that Alex had been at the bar with Forrest a few weeks ago, but he didn’t know what came from that.

Did Forrest turn him down? Did their date not go well?

As Michael drove down Alex’s street and pulled into the driveway, he noticed a figure near Alex’s front door.

Forrest.

Well shit. Guess he may get his answer tonight.

Michael turned to look at Alex and cursed silently to himself.

How was he to explain what happened to the guy who went on a date with his ex, while said ex was passed out drunk, when he didn’t even know what happened himself?

He turned off the car, got out of his seat and ran to the passenger side. As he unbuckled Alex from his seatbelt, Alex fell into him and Michael huffed out a laugh at the ridiculous situation. He was the one always getting drunk, not Alex. He frowned at how the tables had turned, not liking that Alex was using alcohol to numb whatever he was going through. Taking Alex’s house key from his pocket, he let the reality of the situation wash over him.

“Oh Alex,” he sighed, lifting him once again into his arms, but this time using his powers to his advantage to make the weight lighter for him.

“Michael?” Forrest ran over, taking note of Alex, and his eyes widened.

“Hey, you wanna open the door for me? He’s not light.” Forrest could only nod, surprised and confused at the situation.

“Where -”

“Sorry, his key is in my hand.” Michael handed him the key, careful not to jostle Alex as he did so.

As Forrest got the door unlocked and turned the light on, Michael walked in behind him and went straight past him to the bedroom.

Forrest stayed in the entryway for a moment, before he took notice of Michael talking and he walked towards the open door.

“You’re not the town drunk Alex. That’s my part in this town,” Michael said, gently getting Alex out of his shirt and jeans. He smoothly got his prosthetic off and went about taking the sock off of Alex’s leg. As he massaged Alex’s limb, he found the lotion on his side table that seemed to always soothe the pain from wearing the prosthetic all day.

Forrest could only watch in the doorway as Michael took care of Alex and he let out a sigh.

“Michael, do you love him?”

He heard Michael suck in a breath, not expecting the question, and he stood still on the edge of the bed.

Twenty seconds must have passed before Michael let out another breath and spoke up.

“I always will, but I’m with Maria, and you guys clearly like each other...”

“Who are you trying to fool?” The blunt statement made Michael freeze.

“You don’t know what happened between us -” Before Michael could continue, Forrest scoffed.

“All I know is that Alex is still afraid to come out of the closet because of his dad and he wants to break out, but I don’t know if I’m the one to help him do that. With your history, you’re the perfect person.”

“We just cause each other pain,” Michael looked down at Alex, who had no idea of the conversation taking place around him. He went about lifting the blankets out from under him, before laying them over the sleeping man.

“Maybe consider talking to each other. Yeah, it may be a painful talk, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

Michael turned to Forrest in bewilderment. “Aren’t you trying to date him?”

Forrest chuckled. “You love him and he loves you. I can’t compete with that. Maybe I could have loved him down the line. I do like him, but you two have a connection I can’t break. I doubt anyone could.”

“Forrest…” Michael frowned, taking in the other man taking a step back.

“It’s alright, Alien Guy. No hard feelings. Now tomorrow? Talk to him. He needs the help, and so do you if you want any semblance of a relationship to work.”

“Are you a couple’s counselor or something?”

Forrest smirked. “No, I just have experience with this type of thing. I can’t help Alex. I don’t want to step back into the closet with him, but I believe you can pull him out of it.”

“You’re alright, Nazi Guy.”

Forrest smiled, taking one last look at Alex, before walking out of the room and out of the house.

Michael heard the door slam, before he heard a pained moan come from Alex.

He looked down to see Alex looking up at him, squinting as if he couldn’t quite see that Michael was in the room.

“Michael?”

“Yeah, it’s me Alex. Do you want me to go?” He questioned it himself, not knowing whether Alex would even want him there. He could leave him some water and aspirin and pretend this never happened.

Alex shook his head, before grabbing Michael by his shirt, trying to pull him closer.

“Stay, please,” he murmured. Michael smiled at Alex’s uncoordinated motions and laid against the headboard. Alex turned to him and laid his head on his chest.

“Thanks,” Alex whispered, before falling asleep not even 30 seconds later.

“Anytime…” He responded, combing his fingers through Alex’s hair.

He had a lot of thinking to do before their talk tomorrow, but fell asleep himself before a single thought could cross his mind.

They always had tomorrow.

[presidentrhodes]

please read

this is a fandom blog. which means if you're here for profound non-fandom insights, you're going to be disappointed — i have zero interest sharing other parts of my life with random strangers on the Internet. exit is on the left.

opinions on this blog are obviously mine but you are welcome to them. if you fundamentally disagree on something, i don't really care. block me and move on because i am not going to bother reading your cold takes, so, don't flood my ask box with them.

usual stuff applies: racists/homophobes/terfs/bigots etc do not interact and gtfo this blog. if you think asia/asian culture = only china, japan, korea, also gtfo of here. if you thrive on fandom drama and send anon hate + su*c*de baits to random people on here, gtfo the Internet and see a counsellor.

i also block liberally for my own sanity and to curate my own experience. don't send me asks wondering why i blocked you — i promise it's nothing personal (unless it is, then cope).

i am 25+ and do not feel comfortable interacting with people under 20 in DMs. sorry.

fandoms i am interested in. 

marvel comics

doctor strange / sideblog

chiwetel ejiofor 💓 / sideblog

pedro pascal / sideblog

the mandalorian / sideblog

narcos 

parasite

kingdom (netflix)

star trek discovery / picard / strange new worlds / sideblog

castlevania

the silmarillion / lord of the rings

mortal kombat (the 2021 film)

writing

ao3

twtr

writing tag

incorrect doctor strange blog

otps and/or friendships

stephen strange/clea/baron mordo/wong

carol danvers/maria rambeau/james rhodes

james rhodes/sam wilson

james rhodes/tony stark/pepper potts

din djarin/omera

din djarin/boba fett/fennec shand

din djarin/getting a good night’s rest (let him sleep, he’s a tired dad)

hanzo hasashi/bi han/harumi 🥺

xu wenwu/ying li (they're soulmates pls)

#this is important is the tag for all serious business posts/reblogs so if you’d rather not see them, you can block the tag.

if you’re under 18, please note that i tag nsfw/potentially nsfw stuff with the #nsfw tag. i don’t reblog explicit fanart and if you’re a minor, please don’t send me explicit asks about your favourite characters because that makes me uncomfortable. 

notps and shit you shouldn’t talk to me about because i am not remotely interested in hearing your opinions on them, no matter how well thought out you think they are

mcu ir*nstrange

st*cky

st*ny

anti tony stark discourse (i like him and i don't give a fuck if you don't)

mcu steve rogers and mcu civil war discourse (that man is a walking embodiment of american imperialism and i detest him. cope)

mcu wendy and ols*n

[marsmaywander]

pride month: ace fic recs!

i figure that i’m so happy to find asexual representation anywhere i can, i should put together a list of fanfics i’ve come across. warning that this is gonna be heavily marvel-skewed since that’s my biggest fandom at the moment. please take care to read all tags and warnings in the individual fics - there are some heavy topics in some of them. let me know if you enjoyed this list or have any other faves to share!

( ♥ ) indicates personal favorites of the bunch

MARVEL

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19264345 Evening Star by alifetime (gen) summary: Tony comes to terms with Peter’s sexuality. supportive dad™

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1575290 The Question by fadewords (tony/pepper) summary: Tony Stark is a fucking sex god, and proud of it. But there's something indefinably different about his approach to sex--there always has been, he's just never noticed it before--and now that he has, he can't quite put his finger on it. (Or: An asexual Tony Stark goes through life without knowledge of asexuality, and does just fine--until he actually learns about asexuality. Then shit hits the fan.) notes: some wonderful self-questioning and sex-positive ace tony

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802476 i don't need anything (but you) by WritingThroughTheMess (tony/bucky) summary: Together, Bucky and Tony dismiss the need for bitten tongues and whispered apologies. There is no need for anything but them.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17954036 ♥ take my hand, take my whole life too by FreyaS (tony/steve) summary: Tony stands in front of the mirror and nervously adjusts the cuffs of his bespoke suit. He fiddles with the cufflinks shaped like the atoms of the element he created (a present from Rhodey for his forty-something birthday) and tries to breathe in slowly and calm his nerves. This is his fifth and probably last date with Steve and he wants to commemorate the moment with his most polished look. The suit is his armor and it’ll carry him through to the bitter end.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19129132 Flags by candycanedarcy (bucky/clint) summary: Bucky's been seein' a lot of rainbows around lately, and he's curious as to why. He doesn't know asking that question will give him the answer to a different question he didn't even know he had.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/924291 Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel (gen) summary: "Darcy was convinced it was going to become part of SHIELD’s oral history forever, like that time everyone on this one op was doused with sex pollen and the only one who didn’t screw someone senseless was then not-yet-deputy director Agent Hill, and Robards said it was because she was a frigid lesbian and Hill told him that the term was asexual and if he was going to be a bigoted asshole about it he could at least get her orientation right. And then Coulson made him go through the hardcore diversity and sexual harassment training as punishment, because everyone knew Hill and Coulson were bros." Maria Hill is honestly pretty happy with her life. notes: a good confident maria gen fic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544546 As You Are by WinterSky101 (tony/pepper/bruce) summary: Tony and Pepper are very sexual people. Bruce isn’t. When he gets invited into their relationship, he’s not entirely sure how that’s supposed to work.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11102553 It's (Not That) Complicated by Reioka (tony/steve) summary: Steve is asexual. Tony's straight. They love each other anyway (even if other people don't understand it).

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11726187 Human Moment by usedupshiver (tony/bucky) summary: In the modern world, Bucky Barnes is something as rare as a full-blooded human. Sure, humanity used to think it was the ruling species, but now they are well aware that they share the world with angels and demons, elves and goblins, spirits and ghosts, and humans did what they have always done best – they adapted. For Bucky, that meant making a very comfortable living selling all the things only a human body can offer beings that aren't. Over the years he has nourished all sorts of creatures, and has never had an unsatisfied customer. Then Tony Stark shows up at his doorstep, and nothing seems to work out like it should.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/35347 ♥ Not alone by Arkada (series, OT6) summary: Clint's asexual, and he's always thought he'll end up alone. Then the Avengers happen, and he's living with all five of them. Then all five start sleeping together, and everything falls apart. notes: some great whump and self-hatred followed by discoveries and lovely comfort. one of the first marvel fics i ever read

https://archiveofourown.org/works/511492 Variations in Modern Dance by Pookaseraph (tony/steve) summary: There's only one thing in the world that Steve has decided the 21st century isn't alright with: not wanting to have sex. Sadly that seems to be the one thing the Serum couldn't fix, and it's playing hell with his ability to deal with his feelings for Tony. Thankfully Tony is a brilliant engineer, and he might be able to find a solution, or maybe he'll realize there's nothing there to fix.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/179492 ♥ Aces Trump Kings by Unadulterated (series, tony/pepper) summary: Tony doesn’t want what everyone else seems to want, and can’t make himself like what everyone else seems to love. So he keeps his mouth shut and his smile bright. It doesn’t occur to him that maybe his normal is not to be. notes: a bit stereotypical with a pride parade, but nevertheless a really great self-discovery series - one i keep coming back to

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19363432 ♥ Eggplant Emoji by Reioka (bucky/natasha) summary: Natasha doesn't know why Bucky doesn't want to have sex with her. notes: NEW ADDITION TO THE LIST! hilarious bantering and great ace diversity

SHERLOCK (BBC)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1028720 this could work by orphan_account (gen) summary: Later that night, long after she’d dried her tears and cleaned up the mascara which had smudged all the way down her cheeks, Molly found her answer. She also learned the definition of “asexual.” http://archiveofourown.org/works/778479 ♥ Black. Two sugars. by solrosan (gen) summary: Everyone seemed to assume that Molly was in love with Sherlock Holmes, and it was so much easier to go along with it than to correct people. notes: some really nice platonic molly & sherlock moments here https://archiveofourown.org/works/246997 the art of getting by (isn't really so artsy at all) by stupidmuse_hatesme (john/sherlock) summary: “He's treating things like they're normal! Things are not normal.” Sherlock drags his hands from his mussed up hair and covers his face. “You aren't helping much,” he mumbles into his palms. “I hope you know that. ”The skull only grins from his perch and says not a word. “Really, you're supposed to do more than just--sit there.” https://archiveofourown.org/works/383984 Random Numbers - songlin (john/sherlock) summary: Just because they're not having sex doesn't mean they aren't intimate. A collection of moments in the relationship of asexual!Sherlock and straight!John.

LEVERAGE

http://archiveofourown.org/works/85681 The Not Your Teaching Tool Job by BlackEyedGirl (OT3) summary: Parker doesn't understand why it has to be more complicated than: "I want to be with you, I just don't want to sleep with you." It's everyone else who has the problem. (Parker as a biromantic asexual)

WTNV

https://archiveofourown.org/works/934124 ♥ ♥ ♥ run, run, fast as you-- by orphan_account (cecil/carlos) summary: The night that his research partner (and sort-of ex) shows up at his apartment with a gun, Carlos decides to take a mysterious but exceptionally well funded two-year research posting in a town called Night Vale. A story in which Night Vale is there for the people who need it, Cecil's propensity to wear his innocent heart on his sleeve is perceived as a threat (until it isn't) and no one is allowed to hurt the Scientist. No one. notes: this is my most favorite ever ace fic. it’s like 100k+ words long and amazing. having trouble not rereading the whole thing right now.

[azfellandco]

Hey there, so your reply to my comment on the vampire AU, about Aziraphale and consumption and such, has been rattling around in my head since I read it, and I was hoping, if you have the time/energy/desire of course, to pick your brains about what kinds of meta/headcanons you've got? Because Aziraphale and food and softness and subversion give me LIFE and I have some thoughts of my own but I'd love to hear yours :D

I would love to talk about this some more, hell yeah. Thank you so much. Please do also tell me your headcanons, @dwarven-beard-spores, I definitely want to hear them. Here is the AU in question for anyone else who might be interested.

Anyway I’m going to have to put this under a read-more because this has become like… thesis level long. My apologies to anyone on mobile. 

The thing I love about this book in general is that there’s such a rich vein of history of thought to explore baked into the premise. Angels and demons and god and the devil and satanic nuns and witches and the four horsemen and the antichrist and the Book of Revelation’s “capital A for Apocalypse” exist in this universe and because so much of it is played for humorous effect there’s a lot of wiggle room as to how these things actually interact with their real world theological equivalents. Which is all building up to say: I am absolutely fascinated with the dichotomy in popular conception between angels as good/holy and angels as monstrous, and how to a lot of people that really isn’t a dichotomy at all. 

Here are some quotes I think about in conjunction with Aziraphale a lot. 

“Did you ever notice how in the Bible, whenever God needed to punish someone, or make an example, or whenever God needed a killing, he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God, but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel?“  –The Prophecy

“Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the hierarchyof angels? and even if one of thempressed me against his heart: I would be consumedin that overwhelming existence. For beauty is nothingbut the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to endure,and we are so awed because it serenely disdainsto annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying.” –Rainer Maria Rilke

Every angel is terrifying. What? Whomst? Aziraphale, light of my life, in love with a demon who thinks bullet-hole window transfers and expensive divers’ watches are cool, calls said demon “my dear”, is terrifying? Excuse me? 

I am utterly in love with the idea of Aziraphale as this potential force of nature, with the righteous fury and the wings and the sword and wait. What did Aziraphale do with that sword? He gave it away to the humans that got kicked out of paradise, because they looked cold. 

The first thing Aziraphale does in the whole book is a renouncement of this particular idea of angels, and we see him sort of… butt up against it later, when he talks to the Metatron. Aziraphale doesn’t want the world to end, of course he doesn’t, but I just have… so many feelings about the way Aziraphale talks about the war versus the way the Metatron talks about the war. 

The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it. –the Metatron, pg. 242

The Metatron is the kind of angel above, blood and fury, and Aziraphale’s voice goes “flat and hopeless” in the face of it, “the bitterness in his voice would have soured milk”. Aziraphale doesn’t want this war to happen, and the way all his thoughts and feelings are tagged versus the sort of netural, descriptionless way the Metatron’s are (pretty much the only characterization the Metatron gets is “a well-educated voice” and “a shade testily”, the latter of which is in response to Aziraphale saying he has to delay returning to Heaven) has always struck me as like… the difference between Aziraphale and other angels is that Aziraphale cares so much. We talk a lot in this fandom about Crowley and “the truth was that Crowley rather liked humans. It was a major failing in a demon” but Aziraphale is the same, he’s just… subtler. 

Where the heck was I going with this. I’m so fond. 

Ah yes. Aziraphale is different from other angels because he cares, because he wants. I wrote a fic about this, too, actually. So it’s sort of interesting to me that it’s in the things Aziraphale wants that he is most an ”every angel is terrifying” angel, even though in some cases it’s a muted and complex kind of thing, a lot of which has been helped along for my by popular fandom and my love of gothic lit and isn’t necessarily comping from the book anymore, everything from here on out is my headcanons.

The most obvious example of Aziraphale’s desires being the most monstrous thing about him comes from that same conversation with the Metatron. I’m sure everybody here is aware of the good old “Aziraphale was willing to kill a child so he could stay on earth and keep eating sushi” post which, while reductive, is essentially what I’m getting at here. Aziraphale calls the Metatron with the specific intent of the Metatron killing Adam and stopping the ball rolling because he likes the world and he likes living there and I really do think, when it comes down to it, that’s a purely selfish decision on Aziraphale’s part. Crowley knows that the things about the world that will get Aziraphale on his side near the start of the book are all things Aziraphale likes. 

“No more compact discs… no salt, no eggs. No gravlax with dill sauce. No more fascinating little restaurants where they know you. No Daily Telegraph crosswords. No small antique shops. No book shops either. No interesting first editions. No–” Crowley scraped the bottom of Aziraphale’s barrel of interests, “regency silver snuffboxes.” –pg. 46

It’s all well and good to like people and want to help them and want to save them, but in the end, for a certain kind of person (the kind of person I see Aziraphale as), you have to make it personal. And people, as I’m sure everyone is aware, will do truly awful things in the name of protecting what is personal to them. 

I don’t know where to put this observation so it’s going here. That one line that’s like “Six millennia exposure to humans was having the same effect on Aziraphale as it was on Crowley, only in the opposite direction”? I’ve generally seen this taken to mean “six millennia had made them both more human-like by making Crowley less evil and Aziraphale less good” but personally I’ve always taken it to mean that exposure to humans has made Crowley like humans more and Aziraphale like humans less. My angel is antisocial and likes people in a general sense only, because it’s important to his self-image to love all of God’s creation or whatever.

On that slightly ominous note let’s move on to the point about consumption. There’s a sentiment in some feminist literature about desire, and sexual desire, and hunger, and how they overlap that is relevant here but I cannot find the exact quote I am thinking of so these will have to do. 

For a woman who has learned to make herself physically and emotionally small, to live literally and figuratively on scraps, admitting that you have an appetite is a source of cavernous fear. Women are often on a diet of the body, but we are always on a diet of the heart. The low-maintenance woman, the ideal woman, has no appetite. This is not to say that she refuses food, sex, romance, emotional effort; to refuse is petulant, which is ironically more demanding. The woman without appetite politely finishes what’s on her plate, and declines seconds. She is satisfied and satisfiable. –Hunger Makes Me by Jess Zimmerman (if the contents of this meta i’m writing interest you then I suggest you read this article as well)

Please also see this “a softer world” fancomic which is a remix of the poem Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe– “And we loved with a love that was more than love, I and my Annabel Lee.”

To want is to hunger and to hunger is to want and it’s extremely important to me that Aziraphale’s particular temptation, and one Crowley knows full well, is lunch. Wanting as selfishness, as monstrousness, is… how you say… my entire shit. The subgenre of gothic horror that is about women who want and the way this makes them feel, as though they’re destructive and dark and dangerous, is pretty much the reason I am the person I am today. Crimson Peak, Shirley Jackson’s work but especially The Haunting of Hill House (speaking of which i am going to personally eviscerate whoever approved that netflix series, how dare they), to some extent Karen Navidson’s story in House Of Leaves, probably lots of others but those are the main ones that come to mind. They’re all about women who want, and feel they shouldn’t, and how that disconnect makes them othered from themselves and the world around them. 

I’ve always seen some overlap between this and the concept of queering the villain, because historically the idea of sexual desire has been made to look monstrous by bigots and assholes and that absolutely has not stopped us from grabbing these characters and archetypes and saying “mine now”. I’m never going to stop loving queer-coded villains as long as I live, because if society wants us to be evil we will damn well show them evil. 

But of course, wanting isn’t actually evil. It’s just human. Aziraphale is not especially selfish, for a human, even when that selfishness manifests as disregard for his companion’s feelings or stubbornness about the big picture (”That only works, right, if you start everyone off equal… that’s the good bit. The lower you start the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, that’s lunatic. No, said Aziraphale, it’s ineffable.”) it’s still just… human. People have a notoriously hard time caring about suffering beyond themselves, it’s why we invented morality. Wanting has no moral value, not really, just as hunger doesn’t. 

But I can’t help but think that, if Aziraphale agrees with this assessment, it’s taken him thousands of years and certainly until after the apocalypse to arrive there. Aziraphale wants to be good, and he wants his side to be “the good side”, so much so that he’s deluded himself for ages into thinking he doesn’t care about or consider the validity of the stuff Crowley says and believes. There is no textual evidence to support the statement “Aziraphale feels guilty for wanting things and part of the reason he’s so attached to Crowley is that Crowley makes him feel less guilty”, but there it is. 

Aziraphale wants, and other angels don’t, or at least, Aziraphale wants in a very concrete and specific sense that other angels don’t seem to–food, wine, books, snuffboxes, Crowley– in short, to be in the world and experience. Aziraphale wants sensual things, pretty things. Comfortable things. Aziraphale is such a soft and homey character despite all these little apparent sharp points, and I adore that about him. 

Let me quote my own fic for a moment, the vampire fic that prompted this ask in the first place.

Everything about Aziraphale said “soft” to Crowley, it was something he’d always rather liked about his friend. Soft curls framing his round face, gentle hands, warm and unfashionable clothes covering his pudgy middle. There was absolutely nothing about Aziraphale that looked even slightly predatory, and Crowley had never been able to determine if this was intentional camouflage or just the way Aziraphale was [footnote: it was both]. 

Aziraphale is selfish and petty and can be inconsiderate and obtuse, but he gave away the thing that identified him as an angel because some humans were suffering and needed it. He loves wine, and books, and he’s fat goddammit, because of course he is. He’s nonthreatening because he’s chosen to be. He’s human because he’s chosen to be, just as Crowley is. It just took him longer to realize that’s what he’d done. He’s got the potential, by virtue of being an angel, to be this incredibly powerful and dangerous thing, and instead he owns a bookshop and feeds the ducks and goes to lunch with his friend. 

I’m sure I’ll think of like ten additional things I want to say about this after I post it lmao prepare yourself for that, I guess. 

[bountyofbeads]

https://medium.com/@CleverTitleTK/their-own-two-feet-8ddd1dbb1602

You have to read this article on the immigrant roots of Ken Cuccinelli and yes his public charge grandparents when they arrived in this country with no education or money. Jennifer has done a great job of documenting(See Website For Documents) his family's immigrant history. His hypocrisy is rich. PLEASE READ 📖 AND SHARE. TY 🤔

😂🤣😂🤣

Their Own Two Feet

Jennifer Mendelssohn | Published August 30, 2019 | Medium | Posted August 30, 2019 6:15 PM ET

As the new public face of the Trump administration’s draconian immigration policies, acting USCIS Director Ken Cuccinelli has wasted no time stirring up collective ire. Most notably, he set off a firestorm of criticism by rewriting the iconic Emma Lazarus poem that has long functioned as a kind of unofficial American immigration mantra. “Give me your tired and your poor who can stand on their own two feet and who will not become a public charge,” he proudly told NPR’s Rachel Martin, who somehow resisted the urge to burst out laughing and/or slap him upside the head. (You can read several historians’ takes on the public charge rule here, but suffice it to say that the concept, which was meant to weed out only the very, very least desirable of immigrants, has never been enforced as rigorously as Cuccinelli is suggesting.)

Cuccinelli later elaborated thatLazarus’ poem was “referring back to people coming from Europe where they had class-based societies, where people were considered wretched if they weren’t in the right class.” Wink wink, nudge, nudge, we hear you! And if you had the word “Europe” in Bigotry Bingo, drink!

For the past two years, I’ve run a project called #resistancegenealogy, which looks at the family histories of public figures in order to show just how similar so many of our stories really are. Cuccinelli’s very public numbskullery definitely set a new record: never before I have I received so many texts, tweets, emails and Facebook messages from people so eager to learn about someone’s family tree. (Side note: Never before have I seen so many people who’ve never done genealogy try to do it themselves and get it so very very wrong. You realize more than one person in a town can have the same name, right? And that not all records are online? And that other people’s public family trees are very often…wrong? Here, read this.)

And never before has a family history — or at least the Italian half of that history that I’ll address here — been so utterly unsurprising. I mean, where did you all think the story of the Cuccinelli family of Hoboken, New Jersey was going to go, really? C’mon now.

And so, here I am, just a girl with some documents, standing in front of her country, asking it not to betray its immigrant past. Asking it to remember that welcoming the “wretched refuse of your teeming shore,” even when that “refuse” comes with little more than grit, determination and a desire to do better for their children, is a bedrock American value, a value that allowed many of you reading these words right now to be here. It’s a value that allowed Ken Cuccinelli — descended from Southern Italians of modest means and little education who would likely never pass muster under the proposed changes — to be here. I mean, hellooooo? Were you listening at allduring the 4th grade unit on immigration?

Cuccinelli called a New York Daily Newsarticle about his family history (albeit one that identifies the wrong ship’s manifest as his great-grandfather’s) “intellectually dishonest.” Any comparison to past immigrants, he maintained, was invalid because “the welfare state didn’t exist back then.”

Nativists love to fall back on this argument, but they also still love to contrast the behavior of current immigrants with what they believe to be their own ancestors’ spotless — and “legal!” — immigration and assimilation histories, despite the fact that comparisons to “legal” immigration at a time when there were almost no immigration laws for Europeans to break are inherently problematic. And despite the fact that the historical record is often at odds with their starry-eyed, mythologized understanding of their ancestors’ pasts.

“My great-grandfather knew upon arriving in the United States that he had to learn English and that he had to work hard to succeed in this country,” Cuccinelli told the Daily News.

“My family worked together to ensure that they could provide for their own needs, and they never expected the government to do it for them,” he said at a press briefing.

I’m so very very tired of telling you this very same story over and over again, but since so many of you asked — some less politely than others, btw, can we please work on that moving forward? — let’s go to the videotape and look at the Cuccinelli family story, shall we?

THE CUCCINELLIS

Ken Cuccinelli’s paternal grandfather, Dominick Luigi Cuccinelli, was born in Hoboken, New Jersey to — are you sitting down? — Italian immigrant parents who’d only been in the country for about ten years. Ken’s great-grandfather was Domenico Cuccinelli (né Cucciniello) born on the 6th of December, 1874 in Avellino, Italy. His 1897 marriage certificate  identifies him and his wife, Fortuna Preziosi, as farmers.

In March of 1901, Domenico became part of the massive wave of Italians who lit out for greater opportunity and stability in America, sailing on the SS Patria from Naples. Identified as a “laborer,” he arrived at Ellis Island with $8.75, equivalent to about $260 today. His contact in the U.S.? An unnamed cousin already living on Adams Street in Hoboken.

Ancestry indexed this record under “Camiello.” Which may be why you couldn’t find it.

Domenico’s wife Fortuna would follow her husband to America the following year on the Algeria, arriving at Ellis Island with their two small children and $20.

It’s important to remember that for all our talk of welcoming the huddled masses with open arms, American immigration history also has a pronounced strain of ugly nativism, a rather ironic twist for a nation founded on stolen land. (And we’re talking here only about immigrants by choice.) Which means that Ken Cuccinelli’s immigrant family was subjected to the very same brand of bigoted suspicion that he is now trying to inflict on others. The Ken Cuccinellis of the early twentieth century — though they didn’t typically have last names like Cuccinelli — were just as insistent that people like the Cuccinellis didn’t have the right to become Americans. That they wouldn’t fit in. That they had nothing to offer and would only be a drain on “our” resources.

“[Italians] are coming in waves and think they have a right to come….There has been a surfeit of unskilled illiterates for years and the people do not want any more of them,” opined the Jersey (City) Journal on November 29, 1902, just a few months after Ken’s great-grandmother arrived there.

So what became of the Cuccinellis? Well, the first we see of the family in American records is in the 1905 New Jersey state census. Father Domenico is employed as a laborer, supporting a family of six. And though they’ve been in the U.S. for three and four years at this point, neither parent reported being able to speak English.

But as is so often the case, the Cuccinelli family moved up in the world. By the 1915 census, both Domenico and Fortuna are listed as literate and English speaking, despite his having never had a formal education and her having only completed eighth grade. In 1919, Domenico, still working as a laborer and now living in nearby Jersey City, declared his intention to become an American citizen, a process he completed three years later.

You’ll notice the family’s 1922 address: 401 Monroe Street in Hoboken, where they are also listed in the 1925 city directory. Just a few houses down on Monroe (the entire neighborhood has streets grandly named after American presidents, incidentally) was another family headed by Italian immigrants — a boilermaker and a midwife. They had a son named Frank just a few years younger than Ken’s grandfather Dominick. Perhaps you’ll recognize the last name and wonder what would have been lost had his immigrant parents been barred.

By 1930, Domenico Cuccinelli owned a home on Madison Street. And by 1940, he and his wife were comfortably retired, living in a house worth $5000, the very picture of the American dream.

THE POLICASTROS

Ken’s grandmother Josephine Policastro Cuccinelli was also the Jersey-born daughter of Italian immigrants: Gaetano Policastro and Maria Ronga (also spelled Rongo) from Monte San Giacomo in Salerno.

A teenaged Maria Ronga (her birth certificate indicates she was 17) arrived at Ellis Island in November of 1903 with her widowed 48-year-old mother, Giuseppa Romano, who has no listed occupation, and three younger siblings. Giuseppa’s husband Giuseppe Ronga, a tailor, had died in 1901 at the age of 44, which may have played a role in their decision to move. With all of $5 between the five of them, they were detained at Ellis Island — as indicated by the “S.I.” for “Special Inquiry” stamped by their names in the margin of the manifest. The “Record of Aliens Held For Special Inquiry” list indicates the reason they were held, abbreviated as “L.P.C.;” it stands for “Likely Public Charge.” So yes, the great-grandmother of the man now beating the drums to tighten the public charge rule was…labeled a likely public charge herself.

After a day’s detainment and a hearing — at which Maria’s older brother Vincenzo, who paid for their passage, would have likely been called to testify that he could support his mother and siblings — the family was allowed to enter the United States, as were more than 98% of those who came through Ellis Island.

But make no mistake: there were many who would have happily sent the Rongas packing. Witness this Judgemagazine cartoon from the very year they arrived, which depicts southern European immigrants as filthy rats, bringing crime and anarchy into the country. (Nice Mafia hats, right?) Doesn’t this sound… familiar?

The new arrivals moved in with Maria’s older brother Vincenzo, now going by the name James, in Hoboken. Ken’s great-grandmother Maria found work as a candy maker, as shown in the 1905 census.

Two and a half years after her arrival, though she is somehow still only 17, Maria “Ronca” (age and spelling are slippery concepts, genealogically speaking) married Gaetano “Thomas” Policastro, a recently widowed father of two with an eighth grade education. Gaetano was also born in Monte San Giacomo and appears to have immigrated as a child in the 1880s.

In 1908, Thomas and Maria had the first of their eight children together, Ken’s grandmother Josephine. The 1910 census shows them living with Maria’s family, including her mother Josephine Romano Ronga. Thomas is working as a salesman at a market. Both the 1910 and 1920 census indicated that Ken’s great-great-grandmother Josephine never learned English, even after being in the country for 17 years. And…so what? Immigrants often took their sweet time learning to speak English, if at all. Their children learned to speak English at school so that one day their great-great-grandsons could become the attorney general of Virginia and maybe one day feel the need to cover up the naked statute in the state symbol. Problem solved.

Though the 1930 census shows the Policastros owning a home worth $12,000, as the nation tumbled deeper into the grips of the Great Depression, like so many Americans, they appear to have fallen on hard times. A series of legal notices in the Jersey Journal(available on GenealogyBank) gesture to the outlines of the story: A lawsuit over non-payment on a $8150 bank note. A foreclosure on the Policastro home on Paterson Plank Road. A bankruptcy hearing. A District Court judgment against Thomas for $450, filed by James Ronga. Would the Policastros have met their own great-grandson’s requirement that immigrants always “carry their own weight?” (According to the Annual report of the Attorney General of the United States, about 1300 of New Jersey’s approximately four million residents voluntarily filed for personal bankruptcy in the fiscal year ended 1931.)

But by 1940, now nearing 60, Thomas Policastro had rebounded. The census shows him renting a home in nearby North Bergen. He is listed as the proprietor of a scrap metal business, and earning $1300 a year, right around the national average. Two of his American-born sons served during World War II. The Policastros proved that they deserved the chance they were given — the chance to have ups and downs and everything in between, the chance to pave the way for future generations to soar.

But one last point. Like the Cuccinellis, the Policastros also had neighbors of note, though they may not have been as well-known as the Sinatras. In 1920, the Policastros lived just a mile away from another Jersey City family headed by a Jewish immigrant who never completed high school and worked for decades at an overalls factory in nearby Paterson. This family was from the former Austro-Hungarian province of Galicia, and had arrived in 1896. Much like the Policastros, this family also eventually found themselves in the pages of the local newspaper. In 1940, the patriarch was arrested with his son-in-law and two other men on charges of stealing from that very same overalls factory; the charges were later dropped and the sentence suspended after they made restitution. But all of that Jewish immigrant’s grandsons would go on to college and upstanding careers. Two served in the military. One became a lawyer. One had a master’s degree. And in the fall of 1986, one of that immigrant’s great-granddaughters left Long Island to enroll at the University of Virginia, a venerable institution founded by an American president. Here she is in the First Year Faces Book, resplendent in a Benetton vest and pearls.

And one of her classmates at that venerable institution? Well, she knew him by his nickname: “Cooch.”

So yes, the scions of two Jersey City families headed by those uneducated and sometimes troubled immigrants seemed to have done alright for themselves. It’s a quintessentially American story, one I see day in and day out doing genealogical research: immigrant narratives are messy and imperfect and complicated but almost universally, they ultimately end with those families in a much better place than they would have been otherwise. That same great-grandfather’s sister, for instance, stayed behind in their ancestral town of Sniatyn and is presumed murdered during the Holocaust. So was my maternal grandfather’s brother, despite his writing a desperate letter to President “Rosiwelt” begging for refuge for his family in America.

How many future Ken Cuccinellis are the Trump administration’s increasingly restrictive immigration policies going to keep out? Who or what are those policies protecting, other than unfounded racist fears that follow in the very worst of American traditions?

Just about twenty years after Ken Cuccinelli’s family arrived from Italy and began their ascent up the ladder of the American dream, the ladder that lifted him to the grounds of Mr. Jefferson’s University and to law school at George Mason, to elected office in the state of Virginia and to a nomination to head a federal agency, Congress enacted the infamous Johnson-Reed Act, which set up quotas specifically designed to keep out people just like them. The number of Italians arriving in America dropped from 200,000 a year in the first decade of the twentieth century to under 4,000.

As Cuccinelli’s own career makes clear, the critics were dead wrong about the potential contributions of humble immigrants like his ancestors. And so is he.

CREDITS: I’m grateful to Megan Smolenyak, Michael Cassara, Rich Venezia and Tammy Hepps, who provided research, translation and editorial assistance.

[meneatyoghurt]

Just rewatching/thinking again about the scene in the bar with Alex and Maria, when he reveals his relationship with Michael and that he knows about him and Maria - because I’m fascinated by how differently people interpret it.

I’ve seen people who think that Alex did any combination of these things:

went to the bar with the express purpose of telling Maria

didn’t necessarily go to the bar to confront Maria but took the opportunity to mark his territory anyway

expressly warned her off doing anything further with Michael

completely stumbled into the conversation without intending to reveal anything

unfairly outed Michael to Maria

failed to tell Maria about Michael at a more appropriate time over the last ten years

shamed Maria about sleeping with Michael

pretended to be ok with it all when he really wasn’t so Maria wouldn’t feel bad

said ok with his mouth while his eyes said “back off bitch”

There are some of these that are more critical of Alex that I wouldn’t totally rule out. Personally, I’m not sure he went to the bar to tell Maria, but there is some truth in that he kind of outed Michael to her, even though she sort of led him to do it (he could have denied it all if he wanted to, or made sure he had Michael’s permission to say anything - I’m a bit unsure about how open Michael is willing to be). So there was a part of him that wanted to let her know and make sure it was out in the open, and that conversation would have been better to have some place other than her place of work. He sort of ambushed her with it...but she also sort of brought Michael up first.

I don’t think he was trying to warn her off necessarily; I think he looks upset during that “okay” delivery, possibly because he can see that Maria isn’t being entirely truthful. I don’t think he’s judging her for anything though.

Anyway, there was a lot of talk about Alex’s motivations during this conversation, but I haven’t seen a lot about what Maria was thinking, and what she gave away from what she said and her reactions. Some people see her as being quite passive in the conversation I think, like she’s just listening to what Alex is saying.

But Maria:

brought up Michael’s name - bit weird when she had just slept with him, but a bit of self-hatred from her maybe? Or she already suspected something deep down (even without really realising that she suspected something)? Or it could have just been part of their “ew Guerin” joke

made it fairly clear she had a reason to not want Alex to be in love with Michael (or at least really didn’t expect it) with the “please tell me you’re in love with Wyatt Long” line - why would she care if Michael meant nothing to her? And enough that she would rather Alex was in love with Wyatt, a violent bigot, than a dude who’s a bit of a mess? (understatement maybe...sorry Michael, you’re a big old mess)

did that weird “oh no my necklace that I lost when I slept with Michael” neck touch - I think maybe this was just an odd writing/directing choice - I dunno, it was just strange, but the whole necklace thing was silly

basically couldn’t have looked more shocked - although she could pass that off as just being shocked about the museum guy being Michael

was super defensive about it not meaning anything - understandable because she wanted to reassure her friend, but it totally did mean something (and who could blame her for starting to fall for those curly curls?)

It was almost like she was leading the conversation - and maybe she was, even if not on purpose. She’s the psychic one, after all. And she must have seen Alex and Michael talking in the bar before. I don’t mean this to criticise her or be like “so really it’s her own fault if she’s upset” because she was prodding Alex to reveal stuff. Just that if Alex hadn’t revealed that he knew they slept together, I feel like he could have guessed from her questions/reactions.

Anyway, I don’t really know what my point is. That it wasn’t a confrontation between evil Alex and poor victim Maria? But a complicated and messy conversation that they both stumbled through (fairly maturely, I think, even if neither of them was being completely truthful), and no one was at fault? Because it’s a super awkward situation. Maybe Alex could have handled it better but, as I said before, IMO he didn’t go there intending to have that conversation, so it’s not surprising he didn’t have note cards to help him handle it. I think he just really wanted a drink, and it’s natural for him to go to his friend’s bar. They both did the best they could with what they had. Perhaps Alex should have just shut it down as soon as Maria began prying. I don’t know.

I would have liked to see Alex and Maria together again before the season finishes but I don’t know if there’s time now. Maybe they can squeeze a quick moment into the finale, but it seems unlikely.

This has been a ramble. Please let Alex and Maria stay good friends, thanks.

[agassizcontextlibrary]

Discussion of Neighborhood Name Change from 1/14/20 ANC Meeting

Maya Counter, a senior at Cambridge Rindge and Latin School, joined Agassiz Neighborhood Council to discuss her ongoing effort to change the neighborhood’s name. 

She explained to ANC that her interest in renaming the neighborhood began in her AP US History class, where she was asked to research the history of her neighborhood. After coming upon information about the neighborhood’s namesake, Swiss biologist Louis Agassiz, she said she was “disgusted” by what she read, citing the scientist’s racist legacy. After that discovery, Ms. Counter reached out to former City Councilor, now Mayor, Sumbul Siddiqui to discuss how to change the neighborhood’s name. 

“She’s given me her full support,” Ms. Counter told ANC. “Now we’re talking about what that might look like, and I want to be more interactive with the community, get a sense of how people feel and generate a constructive conversation.”

This desire is what prompted her to bring the issue to ANC. She had also posted about her project on the social media app NextDoor. Ms. Counter said she is expected to speak on the issue before City Council on February 3rd.

“I just want to know how people feel,” she said. “Feedback is helpful, as well as knowing who I’m up against and who I’m with.”

The conversation was kicked off with a question of how the neighborhood was first named. Attendees debated its origin, with someone proposing that the name could have possibly come from Agassiz’s wife, Elizabeth Cabot Cary Agassiz, who was the co-founder and first president of Radcliffe College.

Community Liaison Phoebe Sinclair, who was moderating the evening’s conversation, shared a note from Charles Sullivan of the Cambridge Historical Commission on the history of naming the Agassiz School, confirming that its name came from Louis Agassiz. Another attendee added that it was common for neighborhoods in Cambridge to be named for the schools they surrounded.

One attendee spoke on the importance of having a conversation about the name change because it can be a “teachable moment,” pointing out that sometimes names are changed without anyone noticing or understanding why.

“I would hope it would be an opportunity to educate,” Ms. Counter said. “It’s also important to recognize that there are many institutions in this country named after bigots, and it doesn’t represent the millions of people of color who live here.”

Tom Meek, who reported on the meeting for Cambridge Day, a web-only news source, shared that City Council recently passed a motion by Denise E. Simmons that will reevaluate all names of Cambridge buildings, streets, and institutions to determine if they are indirectly or directly related to the slave trade and change them through due process. Ms. Counter said she had already connected with Ms. Simmons about their common goals, and the two are working together.

Some suggested providing some context for the name, instead of changing it, or selecting a different member of the Agassiz family as the namesake, but Ms. Counter said she didn’t feel it would be as effective.

“I hear people mentioning his daughter and his wife, and it just sounds like people want to keep the Agassiz history, even knowing about his racism,” she said.“His science was rooted in racism.”

“I don’t think a neighborhood has the ability to put up a sign at every point of entry to explain why the name is still Agassiz,” neighborhood resident Meg Salocks added. “I understand the motivation to put better context behind the name, but I don’t think a neighborhood is the space for that.”

ANC Moderator Fred Meyer brought up a counterargument that others said was often used in the process of renaming the elementary school: Other places and institutions are named after historical figures with racist histories. He specifically named George Washington and Abraham Lincoln as examples.

“You can’t get get rid of Lincoln or Washington, but you can put them in perspective,” Ms. Counter said. The platforms to educate the public on these figures are far larger, she said, which isn’t the case for Agassiz. 

While the beginning of the conversation focused on history and Ms. Counter’s motivations, it later became a discussion of what the process of renaming would look like. Her short timeline was of concern to some, as her City Council meeting was dated for two weeks after the ANC meeting. Agassiz resident Kate Frank advised Ms. Counter to not rush through the process.

“There’s no reason to treat it like an emergency,” she said. “You would not want unnecessary opposition if the opposition isn’t to the concept.” 

Ms. Frank noted that other entities carrying the name based on the neighborhood may need to change as well, and that takes time and money. Maria LaPage, Executive Director of Agassiz Baldwin Community, thanked Ms. Frank for bringing up that point but added that she felt burdened by the Agassiz name.

“It always seems like sort of a drag on our mission to be an inclusive, welcoming place,” Ms. LaPage said. “I acknowledge that it’s work and energy to change our name if the neighborhood name changes, but it’s work I’m willing to do.”

Among a few attendees, there was a concern about not including enough voices from the neighborhood in the process. They suggested a larger forum for members of the community to discuss the issue or other, more remotely accessible, options for the neighborhood to provide feedback.

“Cambridge has a participatory budgeting process, so there are models for participatory involvement,” Jonathan Lehrich, a member of ABC Board of Directors and neighborhood resident, said.

Others noted that opportunities for more residents to engage in the process could be a boon to Ms. Counter’s chances for support from City Council. 

In place of Agassiz, Ms. Counter wants to name the neighborhood after Maria L. Baldwin, the African American educator and first black female principal in Massachusetts and the Northeast for whom the elementary school is now named. She said she’s open to hearing other options but emphasized that having the neighborhood named Baldwin is her ultimate goal.

While there was some discord over how to change the name or what to change it to, there seemed to be general support for at least removing Louis Agassiz as the neighborhood’s namesake.

Ms. Counter shared that her next step is to meet with City Councilor Simmons and Mayor Siddiqui before meeting with City Council. 

To officially record ANC’s support, Joel Bard proposed the following motion, which was seconded and voted on unanimously:

"There is a strong consensus in the neighborhood council in support of a name change, to be discussed in forums over the coming months with an opportunity to educate neighbors about the relevant issues, with the objective to come up with a recommended name from the neighborhood."

To learn more or to participate in an ANC subcommittee related to the proposed name change, please contact Phoebe Sinclair, Community Liaison, at psinclair@agassiz.org or (617) 755-6926. 

[kansascityhappenings]

Man harasses woman for wearing a Puerto Rico shirt, saying it’s ‘un-American’

https://launch.newsinc.com/js/embed.js

CHICAGO – An Illinois park is investigating after a woman accused one of its police officers of standing by as a man harassed her for wearing a shirt with the Puerto Rican flag, saying it was un-American.

Mia Irizarry says she was trying to celebrate her 24th birthday in the Forest Preserves of Cook County last month when the man approached her asking her why she was wearing the sleeveless Puerto Rico flag shirt, which also had “Puerto Rico” written below the V neckline.

Irizarry recorded the encounter on her phone, saying she felt threatened, and posted the video to Facebook.

On Monday, Forest Preserves of Cook County tweeted that it was aware of the June 14 incident and video.

‏”After the incident, we immediately launched an investigation pursuant to our personnel policies into the response of our officer,” it said, in a series of posts on Twitter.

All people are welcome in the Forest Preserves of Cook County and no one should feel unsafe while visiting our preserves.

— Forest Preserves (@FPDCC) July 9, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

“The investigation is ongoing and the officer involved has been assigned to desk duty pending the outcome. The intoxicated individual involved in the incident was arrested and charged with assault and disorderly conduct.

“All people are welcome in the Forest Preserves of Cook County and no one should feel unsafe while visiting our preserves.”

‘Officer, I feel uncomfortable’

In the footage, the man can be seen approaching Irizarry saying: “You should not be wearing that in the United States of America.” He gets closer to her and asks “Are you a citizen? Are you a United States citizen?”

Irizarry can be heard saying that Puerto Rico is part of the United States and the man approaches her multiple times.

Irizarry asks a park police officer to help, saying “I am renting this area and he’s harassing me about the shirt that I’m wearing.”

Later she says: “Officer, I feel entirely uncomfortable, can you remove … please officer” as the officer is seen walking away from her.

Then she says: “Officer, I’m renting, I paid for a permit for this area.. I do not feel comfortable with him here, is there anything you can do? ”

The officer can then be seen talking to the man who gesticulates back and tells him to “shut the f*** up.”

Female officer steps in

More police arrive and Irizarry says she still doesn’t feel safe. The man resumes his abuse, saying: “You’re not American, if you were American you wouldn’t wear that. You know that right?”

Story continues below video. 

A female officer asks to see his ID and can be heard telling him that he’s intoxicated to which he replies “well that’s your judgment.” She explains that Irizarry has a permit and she warns him that he could be arrested “for not being compliant.”

“You don’t come here harassing people,” the officer continues. “People have just as much right to be here as you and when you’re drunk, you don’t belong here.”

The female officer then speaks with Irizarry who gives her version of the incident and the officer explains that they were called to the area after a report that a man was choking a woman.

Eventually the first officer on the scene takes notes of Irizarry’s account of the incident and says that he was at the scene due to the separate incident, noting that she was not being attacked though acknowledging she felt threatened.

Irizarry can be heard explaining to the officer that the incident began when they had asked the group the man was in if they could move as they had a permit for the area. She said the group politely complied but her Puerto Rico shirt appeared to act as a trigger to the man.

Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rossello reacted to the video Monday on Twitter.

“Today a video surfaced of an undignified event in which a Puerto Rican woman was brutally harassed by a bigot while an officer did not interfere. I am appalled, shocked & disturbed by the officer’s behavior,” Rossello’s tweet reads.

U.S. commonwealth

Puerto Rico is a U.S. commonwealth with its own constitution, rather than a state. Puerto Rican residents have been American citizens since 1917 and have the right to vote in U.S. presidential primaries, but not in presidential elections.

The Trump administration has received criticism for its treatment of Puerto Rico, particularly for its response after Hurricane Maria struck last September.

The official death toll from Maria stands at 64 but a recent Harvard study estimated 4,645 people could have perished.

Calling for statehood, Puerto Rico’s representative in the House, Resident Commissioner Jenniffer González-Colón last month said “Hurricanes Irma and María unmasked the reality of the unequal treatment of the American living in Puerto Rico”.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2018/07/10/man-harasses-woman-for-wearing-a-puerto-rico-shirt-saying-its-un-american/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2018/07/11/man-harasses-woman-for-wearing-a-puerto-rico-shirt-saying-its-un-american/