#please no martin or j//mart

[sparky-is-spiders]

Okok using all 30-odd minutes of Sasha being “on screen,” two pieces of duct tape, a handful of red string, and enough gallons of projection to fill a small to medium sized lake, I have determined that Sasha James is autistic.

[rosalineandrosemary]

for the choose violence ask game: 6, 7, 14 & 24

thank you for asking <33

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

that varies wildly depending on what fandom we’re talking about. the j//marts drive me insane, like i love some of yall but at the same time they are Not like that.

na//lu is so. please let them exist as characters outside of each other. please please please please please please please. not everything is nalu yes they’re cute but also. please

xiao//lumi is great and i love them however trying to find any sort of in character xiao content is miserable.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

martin. just a bit. i enjoy canon martin and i think he’s compelling i just think fanon martin is like a 2d version of himself.

fandom has also made me dislike natsu a bit too cause i am a certified Lucy Girlie and im so tired of people not letting lucy exist without natsu

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

mdom 😔

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

age and gender dynamics. some people do not understand what can make age gaps problematic and just think “ah yes if people are not the same age that is bad” that’s not how it works. and some of the most horrific takes i’ve ever seen are related to age and maturity and all that.

gender dynamics is one that just pisses me off as a gender studies major, a queer person, and a femdom enjoyer. why is femdom a kink and mdom natural. why don’t yall tag your mdom. why doesn’t anyone analyze their internalized misogyny. and transmisogyny. and lesbophobia. and just all of it.

[jondalars]

movies, tv shows, and books of 2024

((* is a rewatch/reread; currently watching; can’t get through))

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Jack o' Frost (s1)

Breathless (1960)

I Hear You're Rich by Diane Williams

Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance (2002)

How to Blow Up a Pipeline (2022)

Out There by Kate Folk

Saltburn (2023)

Bulbbul (2020)

Bicycle Thieves (1948)

Oldboy (2003)

Doona! (s1)

The Guest Lecture by Martin Riker

Survivor (s7*, s46)

Carol (2015)

The Trust (s1)

Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee

The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty (s1)

EO (2022)

Turn to Me Mukai-kun (s1)

Death Valley by Melissa Broder

Past Lives (2023)

The Traitors (s2)

Whereabouts by Jhumpa Lahiri

Celebrity (s1)

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Society of the Snow (2023)

The Batman (2022)

Lady Vengeance (2005)

Rinko-san Wants to Try (s1)

Her Private Life (s1)

The Rabbit Hutch by Tess Gunty

Good Morning Call (s1)

Triangle of Sadness (2022)

Itaewon Class (s1)

Dumb Money (2023)

Yumi's Cells (s1)

The Eagle (2011)

Sword and Fairy (s1)

Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

Possession (1981)

Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

Audition (1999)

Biography of X by Catherine Lacey

My Demon (s1)

Down Low (2023)

Plus One (2019) *

Eustace and Hilda by L.P. Hartley

Upgraded (2023)

Vincenzo (s1)

Backstreet Rookie (s1)

Lucy: The Beginnings of Humankind by Donald C. Johanson & Maitland A. Edey

Scarlet Heart (s1*)

Amidst a Snowstorm of Love (s1)

Doom at Your Service (s1)

Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis trans. Peter Bien

Bottoms (2023)

Suspicious Partner (s1)

Possession by A.S. Byatt

Irish Wish (2024)

Eye Love You (s1)

Marry Me! (s1)

Butterflied Lover (s1)

Kiss Goblin (s1)

The Date of Marriage (s1)

Nevertheless (s1)

Please Be My Family (s1)

The Unforgivable and Other Writings by Cristina Campo

The Skin of Dreams by Raymond Queneau

Physical: 100 (s2)

Welcome to Samdal-ri (s1)

The Holdovers (2023)

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Deal or No Deal Island (s1)

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas

Baby Reindeer (s1)

Howards End by E.M. Forster

Anyone But You (2023)

Talk To Me (2022)

Ringu (1998)

Will Love in Spring (s1)

The Idea of You (2024)

K-pop Generation (s1)

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat *

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas

Perfect Marriage Revenge (s1)

Us and Them (2018)

Boys Planet (s1)

I-LAND 2 (s1)

Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll

Camp Zerobaseone (s1)

Gold by Rumi trans. Haleh Liza Gafori

So I Married the Anti-Fan (s1)

MAKEMATE1 (s1)

Cassandra in Reverse by Holly Smale

I Cannot Reach You (s1)

Hit Man (2023)

Start-Up (s1)

Mai (2024)

Prince's Gambit by C.S. Pacat *

Meet Me After School (s1)

The Double (s1)

Not in Love by Ali Hazelwood

Upcoming Summer (2021)

One Day (s1)

The Parades (2024)

Molly by Blake Butler

Story of Kunning Palace (s1)

Kings Rising by C.S. Pacat *

A Strange and Sublime Address by Amit Chaudhuri

Sometimes I Think About Dying (2023)

The Singularity by Dino Buzzati

Anatomy of a Fall (2023)

Silent (s1)

Butterfly of Dinard by Eugenio Montale

Claim to Fame (s3)

Candy Color Paradox (s1)

The Fourth Kind (2009)

Prey (2022)

Destined (s1)

L'Avventura (1960)

No Country for Old Men (2007)

Lovely Runner (s1)

Throne of Blood (1957)

Y/N by Esther Yi

My Journey to You (s1)

My Sweet Mobster (s1)

A Journey to Love (s1)

Fight for my Way (s1)

A Chance Meeting: American Encounters by Rachel Cohen

A Tale of Love and Loyalty (s1)

Plainwater: Essays and Poetry by Anne Carson *

A Familiar Stranger (s1)

Maid's Revenge (s1)

The Immortal Promise (s1)

In Blossom (s1)

[antique-ro-man]

“your ears are adorable.“ with any tma ship please?

Did some established-relationship J-Mart. Please enjoy <33

“Your ears get red when you’re embarrassed.”

Martin looked up from his book. “What?”

“Whenever you blush - all the blood goes right to your ears,” Jon said with a shrug.

“Um…”

“Just something I noticed.”

“Kind of a weird thing to notice.”

“Well, what’s a normal thing to notice?”

“I don’t know. Lips? Eyes?”

“I think we’ve both had our fill of eyes.”

“Well… your ears are adorable too.”

“Thank you, Martin.”

[heavensenthearty]

ATLA Ships Latinx Songs

This is for @tea-j-kippen, who asked me to share some of the songs in my native language that reminded me of the ATLA ships, and true, there are a lot of songs that remind me of the different ATLA ships, but I decided to do some mini playlists for some of my favorite ones. Please enjoy! :)

Zutara:

Enemigos – Reik ft. Aitana

La Bella y la Bestia – Reik ft. Morat

Sirena – Cali y el Dandee

Laberinto – Marger

Frío – Ricky Martin ft. Wisin y Yandel

Darte un beso – Prince Royce

Deja que te bese – Alejandro Sanz ft. Marc Anthony

Sukka:

Miss Independent – Maluma

Voy por ti – Cali y el Dandee ft. Piso 21

No te pido que traigas flores – Fanny Lu

Mi chica ideal – Chino y Nacho

Nada es como tú – Ricardo Arjona

Tengo tu love – Sie7e

Colgando en tus manos – Carlos Baute ft. Marta Sanchez

Taang: 

Que vida la mía – Reik

Tu eres perfecta – Oscarcito

Cuando me enamoró – Enrique Iglesias ft. Juan Luis Guerra

Humanos a Marte – Chayanne

Me voy enamorando – Chino y Nacho ft. Farruko

Te veo – Lasso

Único – Joey Montana

[allfathertoday]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS INCREDIBLY WELL-PUT, AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S WRITTEN BY A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

—We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Whoopi, Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all five of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

--When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLaine. You can also have the UN., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kum Baya," or "We Are the World."

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Short, Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It !

Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sink in.

[flatheadsforever]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT Between Republicans & Democrats

WRITTEN BY A YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT

The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement: --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like re-distributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens .

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks.

We’ll keep Hannity, Carlson, and Bibles, and give you NBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, and Hollywood.

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

-- When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

-We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the UN but we will no longer pay the bill.

--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt, Tesla, and Leaf you can find .

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem".

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kumbaya “or” We Are the World."

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years .

Sincerely,

John J Wall

Law Student and American!

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, George Clooney, Barbara Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It! Let's Keep This Going. Maybe Some of It Will Start Sinking In!

[rwood2477]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS INCREDIBLY WELL-PUT, AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S WRITTEN BY A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

—We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Whoopi, Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all five of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

--When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLaine. You can also have the UN., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kum Baya," or "We Are the World."

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Short, Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It !

Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sink in.

[mrsteve151]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

—We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Whoopi, Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all five of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

--When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLaine. You can also have the UN., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kum Baya," or "We Are the World."

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Short, Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It !

Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sink in.

[bigyack-com]

Pictures from Matchbook Clarence House Chase and Raceday 2020

The first racing of the decade got underway at the world-famous Ascot Racecourse on Saturday. After days of miserable wet and cold weather, the Matchbook Clarence House Raceday took place under a glorious blue sky and plenty of sunshine. It may still have been cold, but it was the perfect start to the 2020 racing season. The biggest race of the day was the Matchbook Clarence House Chase with Defi Du Seuil, under Barry J Geraghty, coming from behind to surge past Un De Sceaux in the closing stages and claim victory in the Grade 1 race. Even though Ascot will only next open its gates on 15 February 2020 for the Betfair Ascot Chase Raceday, the venue is much more than just a racecourse, it also has extensive MICE facilities and when racing is not on it is popular for weddings, photo shoots and corporate events. More on this side of the business to come. Click on any of the pictures below to see a much larger, yet still reduced resolution, version. Please feel free to visit all our other galleries of pictures from around the world where we have many more pictures for you to enjoy. All images and pictures on this site are strictly copyright and are available for purchase on demand in watermark-free very high resolution format. If you would like for whatever reason to use any of the pictures please contact us giving full details of your requirements and use. We are also able to take pictures on request, so if you are in need of pictures of X and cannot find them, or need us to attend an event for you, or just want to buy exclusive images from an event, please do contact us with details of your requirements. Read more about our: On Demand Media Services. See latest Travel News, Interviews, Podcasts and other news regarding: Ascot, Horses, Polo, Racing, Berkshire. 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[sparky-is-spiders]

It is my personal belief that Jon either drives like he thinks he will be executed if he so much as thinks about going one mile over the speed limit, drives like it is his Personal Mission to give everybody else in the car ten heart attacks, or that he has never so much as touched the wheel of a car before in his entire life. There is no inbetween.

[donman2112]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS INCREDIBLY WELL-PUT, AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S WRITTEN BY A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

—We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Whoopi, Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all five of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

--When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLaine. You can also have the UN., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kum Baya," or "We Are the World."

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Short, Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It !

Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sink in.

[ashleybenlove]

The Big Job

Martin Smarty, the founder of Smarty Mart makes his first appearance in this episode and he is played by JK Simmons. He plays J. Jonah Jameson in some Spiderman materials, AKA the true hero of the Spiderman franchise. He also plays Ford Pines on Gravity Falls! This and The Cupid Effect (both of which aired the same day in 2007) are the last appearances of Senor Senior Senior, who is played Ricardo Montalbán in both appearances (he voiced him in 5 eps; Earl Boen played him in 4, plus a video game). Montalbán’s last KP appearances are among the last couple of acting credits listed to his name before his death in 2009. 

Kim and Ron are on a date at a fancy restaurant. Kim is very nicely dressed. Her hair is done up. Lady, who you tryin’ to impress. Ron’s known you since you were 4. Ron is literally using coupons on this date. He isn’t trying to impress you. Ron basically tries to get Kim to lie that she’s under 12 so they can eat free. 

“I know what you’re thinking, Kim.” “You do?” Kim, I see that smile on your face. Whatcha thinkin’?

Drakken’s still in prison. Hah. I love it. It’s been like, several months and this is episode 4 of season 4 (so 4 eps since So The Drama) and the main villain still is in prison. Good.

“OH! YOU ARE GOOD!” I demand footage from the recording studio of when Richard Kind said this line so I could see him saying this, I bet he looked amazing.

SHEGO GETS BUSTED OUT AGAIN. You’re SOL, Drakken. He’s mad because she’s the sidekick. He also apparently has a prison tattoo.

SSJ broke her out because his father’s birthday is coming up. We’ve had focus on both of the Seniors birthdays... and never on the main characters. 

Also “Hold it right there, slick. I don’t do cakes, okay? I don’t bake ‘em and I don’t jump out of ‘em.” ICONIC.

Junior wants her help on a major caper for a gift for Senior.

He committed a major felony. 

Kim goes to see Monique at CB and she knows immediately that Kim had a bad date with Ron. Monique is like, he needs a job. Kim hinted and Monique thinks she should lead by example. Kim doesn’t need much enticing to join CB... Monique says “employee discount” and she’s in. 

Monique yells at Ron that if he had a job he’d have money. It helps. 

Kim kisses Ron’s cheek goodbye. Goodbye I am on gone. Please stop killing me show.

Shego is amazed because Drakken has gone through so much to get some of the stuff that the Seniors ALREADY have. “He should have called.” The Seniors basically have super rich villain privilege.

Tome of Treachery is Priceless.

Ron... you complaining about pickle prejudice/discrimination is ridiculous especially considering you’re talking to two young women, one of whom is black. Also, you’re a young Jewish man. 

Junior and Shego are in San Francisco. You know, where the Tanners are and the Golden Gate Bridge and what else is in San Fran.

Shego and Junior are having trouble finding a parking spot. Shego eventually is like YOU KNOW WHAT I’LL GET IT, YOU WAIT IN THE CAR. SHE’S SO FUCKING DONE.

KIM’S HERE TO RUIN EVERYTHING, SHEGO.

“How did you know?” “You’re predictable.” “Really am I? THEN PREDICT THIS.” I LOVE YOU BOTH.

Ron is gonna keep circling with the car because there’s no where to park. Kim wonders what is up with this city.

Ron and Junior fight for a parking space. A mime shows up because okay.

K&R pursue them while driving. 

Ron wonders where the cable cars are at. Them talking while driving makes me nervous. They almost run into a cable car but the car can fly so they do that, and also the people in the cable car are taking photos of it.

Shego and Junior leave their car for jet skis.

Kim asks Wade to patch her through to her bros. She asks them if they added aquatic capability to her car, they say sure, and... uh... actually they thought she said “could they”

Junior wants to go for a Pre-Incan idol to steal. 

Ron’s now working at the zoo. It goes bad. Don’t poke lions, Ron.

Shego and Junior are in South America. The idol is huge.

“Shego. Your makeup actually works in this light.” BURN.

Shego and Kim fight and Junior’s like “Girls, this is not helping.” 🤷 

Llamas.

The 5 Richest People in the world in the KP-verse are Pop Pop Porter, Oren Door (who’s basically Bill Gates), Paula Pandoty (Oprah), Martin Smarty, and SSS. Junior’s gonna demand a ransom for them bc they’re his father’s card player partners. 

“No time for snip!”

The twins are still working on the car bc llama bites. Ride issues. 

Kim hates that coupon book.

Ron is a fanboy for Martin Smarty.

They show Kim panting during this fight with Shego. Yess.

Their hands are touching.

Senior is proud of Junior. They hug.

Shego decides to grab Martin and holds her powered hand to his head. Ron manages to grab her leg and she ends up in the gator tank, saving Smarty.

Senior tells Junior to “Make sure your ladyfriend does not hurt my alligators.” Oh my gods. He’s more concerned about the gators than Shego.

Martin offers Ron a job. Kim looks so happy. Ron now works at his local Smarty Mart.

Kim and Ron go on another date and Kim has a smile on her face.

[exoticarmy127]

Wake (short story)

An original story. *edited and reposted.

“Jim! Jim!! Wake up!”

Jim stirred, shaken by cold hands. He shifted and groaned slightly, the shaking becoming more violent as the seconds passed.

“Jim!” A female’s voice hissed and Jin’s eyes flew wide open and it felt like ice washed over his back as recognition dawned on him.

“Anne?” He sat upright and saw his wife, pale as moonlight and looking down at him with frantic eyes. One of her hands held onto his forearm, the other flat against his chest. Jim’s heart seemed to beat rapidly under her fingertips from the way she was looking at him and he swallowed. She looked terrified; almost like she had seen a–

“Somebody’s–” a loud crash interrupted her sentence and both their heads whipped towards their bedroom door.

Jim’s chest was heaving and his eyes grew wide like saucers upon the commotion. It took him a few seconds to regain his composure, swinging his legs out of bed to stand up.

“Stay.” He said before grabbing the metal bat he hid within his closet.

Anne watched him steadily, fear evident in her eyes as her shaking hands clutched at her silk nightgown. Jim moved towards the door and was about to leave and check what was going on downstairs when she said, “Please be careful.”

Jim swallowed at her words, his hand slightly shaking against the cold metal of the bat. He looked back at her once, seeing her on the mattress with a distraught expression; looking scared out of her wits. It took every ounce of his will power not to walk up to her and kiss her worries away. But he figured he wouldn’t want to be caught kissing his wife while the intruder pointed a gun to his head.

“Call the police, love.” He muttered curtly, his voice hoarse and shaky, before turning and leaving the room.

He didn’t dare look back.

~~~

Jim walked slowly, making his footsteps as quiet as possible as he moved down the hall. He focused his hearing on any sound that would–

Crash!

Shit, he cursed as he wondered how on earth he was going to handle the burglar. He didn’t have a gun on him and the only thing in his defense was the metal bat he was gripping on his right hand. He hoped it would be enough to knock the burglar out at least, with a hit to the head.

He reached the stairs, making sure his steps were light as to not make the treads squeak under his weight. He held onto the banister and once he was in the middle of his descent, he crouched to look over the living room.

There was no one there.

Jim pursed his lips in a thin line before continuing his descent. The living room was still, with the moon casting its light through the windows. The house was eerily quiet at this point and Jim wondered if the burglar had already left…

A soft creak made him turn towards the hall leading to the kitchen, heart pounding in fear. He gripped the bat tighter before making his way towards it.

Rummaging.

Jim heard the sound of rummaging and he confirmed that he was indeed being robbed. The sound of clatter and metal clanking, which he figured was his utensils being taken, became louder as he closed in, the noise becoming more evident.

His heart pounded as he leant against the wall, clutching the bat tightly against his left hand that his knuckles turned white. Taking a deep breath, Jim moved his head to look into the kitchen and there he saw it:

A man was hunched over their cabinets near the sink, clad in black. He was rummaging through their things, taking whatever he could get his hands on and shoving it into his backpack. Jim’s blood boiled at the sight and before he knew it, his feet were moving; arm raised and ready to swing the bat.

The intruder looked up then, seeing his reflection against the small window in front of him, situated right above the sink.

He deflected Jim’s swing and was able to move out of the way at the last minute. Jim swung once more, hitting him on the rib. The intruder winced but he bit down the pain and gripped the head of the bat. Jim’s eyes widened as the intruder pushed the bat forward, which hit him square in the stomach; followed by a swift punch to his jaw. Jim tasted rust.

Bastard, he thought angrily as he wiped his bloodied lip. The intruder went over the kitchen counter, looking for something.

Once he managed to stand up, Jim moved towards him and wrapped his arms around his neck, choking him. The intruder struggled for a while before finally elbowing him hard and delivering another sharp punch to his face. He then kicked Jim hard causing the man to fall back, his head hitting the tiled floors.

It felt like the world spun on its axis and left him hanging upside down like a bat. Jim felt a sting on the side of his forehead and winced; his vision blurry as he watched the man retrieve something from the kitchen counter…

It was silver, glinting against the moonlight.

“AAARRH!!”

Jim blinked once then saw something white barreling against black right in front of him. The intruder was caught off guard and stumbled, the knife falling from his grip.

“Anne?” Jim croaked just as his wife was thrown against the wall. Fury burned within him and he saw red the moment he heard her scream in pain, falling limply as a rag doll against the kitchen floor.

Jim looked to his right and saw the bat lying a few feet from him. He grunted as he reached out for it. Despite the pain on the side of his head, he was able to get a hold of it. He carried himself up just as a choked sound combined with a gasp reached his ears.

Looking up, his eyes widened and he felt like the world was crashing beneath his feet.

He saw red…

Red against Anne’s stomach.

The intruder held a knife in his right hand, dripping with his wife’s blood and he had never felt anger course through his veins so much it felt like he was going to explode.

He released a loud cry before swinging the bat so hard he knew it would be a miracle for the man to live through that hit. The intruder fell to the floor, blood oozing from the bruise on his head from where he had hit.

Jim gasped and took a step back, the bat falling from his grip and clattering to the ground as he stared in horror at the scene in front of him.

“J–Jim.” A whisper sounded and Jim felt the goose bumps crawling against his skin. He looked up and saw Anne lying against the wall, her face deathly pale. She gave him a small smile which would have looked warm and beautiful if it weren’t for the blood seeping into her white night gown.

Jim heaved, his breath coming in pants and his vision blurred. The sting was becoming a painful throb against the side of his head and he felt like vomiting.

Anne stared into him and Jim realized just how lifeless they were.

She is gone… he breathed, head pounding and heart beating so violently he could feel it against his rib cage.

She was gone.

Before he knew it, his eyes rolled backwards and darkness swallowed him whole.

~~~

Jim woke up shivering and panting, the beeping of the monitor mimicking that of his own heartbeat. He winced upon scanning his surroundings, the whiteness of the room was blinding it made his head hurt. Before he could make sense of his whereabouts, the door opened.

A man came in wearing white scrubs and walked towards the monitor. After a couple of seconds he looked at Jim worriedly. "Mr. Bowman–“

“What happened?” He asked and immediately regretted trying to sit up for his head hurt like hell and it he literally felt himself sway as if the room itself was spinning around him.

“Mr. Bowman, it’s best for you to just relax.” the man said as he slightly pushed his shoulders down so that he was leaning against his pillows. “You experienced a concussion when you hit your head pretty hard.”

Jim blinked, trying to remember exactly what happened. But before he could make up any images in his head, the doors opened, revealing a familiar face.

“Mart?” Jim muttered, watching his best friend walk into the room clad in a gray coat and workman boots.

“Thank God you’re okay.” Martin said, relief evident in his voice. He moved towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” Jim admitted and the nurse had to push him back down once again.

“You hit your head pretty hard.” Martin frowned, placing his hands in his coat pockets. “It was a good thing the police got on time.”

“What happened?”

“Someone broke into your house. You got into a brawl with the goddamn burglar, as officer Kent told me. He’s the one handling your case, by the way, and is a good friend of mine.”

Jim nodded, feeling his throat close up as flashes of images began to appear in his head, his brain creating a mirage of the night’s events. He couldn’t remember much but there was a lot of pain and screaming… “The intruder–”

“He’s alive, unfortunately.” Martin said, and Jim felt the anger in his voice. “I promise you Jim, he’s going to rot in jail for what he did to you.”

Jim nodded once, appreciating his friend’s words but a very important thought crossed his mind then, which caused his heart rate to increase once again. Not to mention caused the nurse to worry even more upon observing his vitals on the monitor. “Anne… Anne! Where’s Anne?!”

Martin paused, looking at him with sad eyes. He was about to answer when the doctor strolled in, clad in his lab coat and nodded at them in greeting.

“We’ll talk later, okay?" Martin said with a tight smile. "You need to relax–”

“Will you check on her, please? She got hurt–Wait.” He looked around frantically and Martin saw the nurse slightly panicking as the monitor’s beeps increased. “Can I see her?! Where is she?!”

“Mr. Bowman, you need to relax. You just had stitches in your head and we don’t–” the doctor explained but Jim looked at Martin frantically, eyes pleading.

“Please check on her.” He said and Martin’s voice caught in his throat. He couldn’t break it to him while he was looking like that: looking like he was about to break into a million pieces–or break out and run out of the room if he didn’t say yes.

“Okay.” He said meekly before nodding at the doctor and leaving the room; slightly tripping on his feet as he did.

~~~

Martin stared at the window blankly; his coffee sitting on the table untouched and was probably already cold. The skies were gray with the promise of rain and he wondered if he was able to bring an umbrella. He made a mental note to check if there is one in his car.

Thoughts ran through his head, his forehead creasing with wrinkles from thinking the longer he sat there in the middle of the hospital’s cafeteria.

Please check on her, Jim had pleaded unsure how to answer that.

The sound of a chair screeching woke him from his thoughts, making him jump. A man in a police uniform sat in front of him, placing the folders on the desk with a slap. When he saw the look of surprise on Martin’s face, he gave him an apologetic gaze. “Sorry.”

“Don’t sneak up on me like that, Ryan!” He hissed and the officer shrugged as he got a pen from his pockets.

“Sorry. You seemed deep in thought.” He tilted his head. “You okay?”

No, he wanted to say but he nodded instead, unsure how to explain what’s happened.

“Did you see him? I heard he was awake.” A man passed by their table and Ryan gave him a curt nod as he was greeted, “Officer Kent.” before walking away.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t look so happy about it.” Ryan said a matter of fact as he looked at the files inside the folder.

“I’m just–” Martin huffed, mussing his hair before returning his stare towards the window.

“What’s on your mind, Mart? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Ryan joked, chuckling slightly.

Martin bit his lip and looked away, a frown gracing his features. “Sort of.” He muttered softly. All of a sudden the cafeteria seemed too crowded, yet somehow his words rang loud and clear, making Ryan look up at him with a baffled expression.

“Sorry?”

“It’s Jim.” Martin opened up. “He… he was looking for Anne.”

“Anne?”

“His wife.” Martin replied. “He said she was there that night and that she was wounded and he wanted to see her–”

“Wait.” Ryan held a hand up to stop him, puzzled by the information. “I was in the scene, Mart. And there was only Bowman and the–”

“I know.” Martin huffed, making Ryan pause. “I know.”

“Then where is she–?”

“She’s gone.” Martin answered and Ryan gave him a look. He wasn’t sure what he meant nor where the conversation was going.  

“By gone, you mean?”

“His wife died two years ago.” Martin said grimly. “And ironically, it was because of a break in too. The intruder stabbed her when she tried to fight. She was dead on arrival.”

Silence hovered over them for a while, the sound of the air conditioning unit humming and bouncing against the hospital’s walls, accompanied by people’s murmurs.

“Well shit.” Ryan finally said, the man leaning back on his chair with an expression of disbelief and–fear.

“Yeah.” Martin muttered, feeling goose bumps crawling against his skin. “Crazy, right?”

Ryan huffed before browsing through the files once again. After a few seconds his hands halted on a page, eyes narrowed at the information in front of him. Martin leant forward on the table, noticing the look of surprise and utter confusion dawning on his friend’s face.

“What?”

“He might not be crazy at all,” he murmured. “Or the records are screwing with me.”

“What? Why, what is it?” Martin pressed and Ryan handed him the paper. He looked down, eyes scanning the page in a swift motion before settling on the piece of information that was both surprising and too surreal to believe.

For right under the report call record was the name Anne Bowman, who called at exactly 3:13 AM to report a break in.

END

This was posted before (as a fanfic) but I took it down and edited it into an original story. :)

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

READ MORE WORKS BY KAYE ALLEN

[crankyoldhag2]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT THIS IS INCREDIBLY WELL-PUT, AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S WRITTEN BY A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM. Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is our separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. —We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel. --You can keep Oprah, Whoopi, Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all five of them. --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens. --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks. --We'll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. --When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLaine. You can also have the UN., but we will no longer be paying the bill. --We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find. --You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors. --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kum Baya," or "We Are the World." --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot. --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Short, Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you. P.P.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1168

Monday, June 26, 2017

 It's the last week of June, so Canada Day is soon. With the country celebrating its 150th anniversary, this year is a big deal. I was 10-years-old when we had our centennial in 1967 and I was part of a children's choir that sang at city hall as part of the year-long celebration back then. We're getting together with friends for Canada Day come Saturday and I wish you all a great week and weekend.

 Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #1 - Chip Zdarsky (writer) Adam Kubert (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours). Get ready to be assaulted by an explosion of Spider-Man stuff as we near the theatrical release of the movie "Spider-Man Homecoming" on July 7. I still remember picking up Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #1 off the spinner rack in 1976, happy that there was another comic book starring my favourite super hero. I wasn't sure I wanted to read this new incarnation because I am not a big fan of Chip's writing. I was not impressed with his work on the new Howard the Duck and Jughead books. My problem is that he comes across as too frenetic and eager to please by writing way too much. The double page spread with Peter and Johnny Storm having lunch together is a great example. Look at all them word balloons. The rest of the book is no better. Almost every panel is jammed full of word balloons. And what's with Peter leaving his mask on during lunch? Johnny knows his secret identity already. Wouldn't it have been more comfortable to take his mask off? I know I'm being picky but it's these little details that annoy me. The other thing that annoyed me was that I had to Google two acronyms to get what was being said. I'm an old fogey so I didn't know what NBD and NPC meant. Maybe it was to balance out all the other words used that "no big deal" and "non player character" were shortened. My quibbles are not enough to keep me from reading the next issue however because Chip pulls something out of the asphalt at the end that makes me want to find out more about the surprise person that Johnny meets. Well played Chip Zdarsky, well played.

 Batwoman #4 - Marguerite Bennett & James Tynion IV (writers) Steve Epting (art) Jeromy Cox (colours) Deron Bennett (letters). The first story arc ends with Kate and company saving the day. I was satisfied with how the story ended and there is enough mystery to keep me wanting to read more. What is Plan B and who is the shadowy figure in the last panel? I want to find out.

 Shirtless Bear-Fighter #1 - Jody Leheup & Sebastian Girner (writers) Nil Vendrell (art) Mike Spicer (colours) Dave Lanphear (letters). This takes place in a land where Yogi Bear would fit right in. The well endowed Shirtless Bear-Fighter's origin story is part Mowgli from Jungle Book and part Superman and part Punisher. This issue was mildly humorous but I didn't chuckle or laugh out loud. Maybe I'm too old. Is this the next Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1? Or The Walking Dead #1? Do bears poop in the woods? Buy it, read it and you be the judge. I only read it because Ottawa's own Tom Fowler did one of the variant covers.

 W.M.D. Weapons of Mutant Destruction #1 - Greg Pak (writer) Mahmud Asrar (art) Nolan Woodard (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). I hope you've been reading the new Weapon X comic book with Old Man Logan, Sabretooth, et alia because this is a direct tie-in to what went on there. No worries if you haven't because Greg spells everything out very clearly. The good guys are fighting an evil anti-mutant organization that is creating mutant killers. The Totally Awesome Hulk is one of the good guys so look for part 2, 4 and 6 of the story in that book. Parts 3 and 5 are in Weapon X. I'm reading them all.

 Aquaman #25 - Dan Abnett (writer) Stjepan Sejic (art & colours) Steve Wands (letters). This title has gone "Game of Thrones" but that's not why I took this extra-sized anniversary issue off the racks to read. It was the cover and interior art by Stjepan Sejic that made me want to give this book another try. I sure am glad I did. The story of a new power mad King of Atlantis and the return of the usurped King isn’t anything new but the beautiful art makes it more exciting to me. Stjepan knows how to draw hot women and Mera and Dolphin gives him plenty of opportunity to show that off. Aquaman is going back on my "must read" list.

 Crosswind #5 - Gail Simone (writer) Cat Staggs (illustrator) Simon Bowland (letters). It's nice to see Gail back on the racks again. Here she does a grown up version of Freaky Friday where a housewife and a mob enforcer switch bodies. Juniper and Cason are introduced pre switcheroo, which happens at the end of this issue. I can't wait to see what happens next. Cat's art is nice and that made it easy to put this new book on my "must read" list.

 Plastic #3 - Doug Wagner (writer) Daniel Hillyard (art) Laura Martin (colours) Ed Dukeshire (letters). The "hero" of this story is a psychotic killer but I like him a lot. A damsel in distress who may suffer a fate worst than death (haven't heard that cliché in a while eh?) plays a big role in this issue. Punisher fans will like this series.

 Royal City #4 - Jeff Lemire (writer & illustrator) Steve Wands (letters). This is a really cool ghost story. Patrick's thoughts about aging hit close to home.

 Archie #21 - Mark Waid (writer) Pete Woods (art & colours) Jack Morelli (letters). OMG (I know what that means) they killed…! You have to read this issue to find out who.

 The Mighty Thor #20 - Jason Aaron (writer) Russell Dauterman & Valerio Schiti (art) Matthew Wilson & Veronica Gandini (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). Loved the Walt Simonson tribute cover by Patrick Brown. Speculator alert: it's the first appearance of a new Thor. You won't believe who it is. What motivates this guy to pick up the hammer is heart wrenching and the bad guys are going to get it. I can't wait to see him in action. There's a scene between Jane Foster and the Odinson that puts into question the fate of the Mighty Thor. I really hope she sticks around.

 Batman #25 - Tom King (writer) Mikel Janin (art) June Chung (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). What made last issue worth reading was the kaboom on the last page. This whole issue is worth it for the build up to "The War of Jokes and Riddles". It's Batman versus the Joker and the Riddler and it's super intense. Mikel's art is the cherry on top and it's yummy. Batman is getting really good again.

 Wildstorm #5 - Warren Ellis (writer) Jon Davis-Hunt (art) Steve Buccellato (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). You should read this. It's all coming together beautifully.

 Luke Cage #2 - David F. Walker (writer) Nelson Blake II (art) Marcio Menyz (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). This is an uh-oh issue as Luke investigates what the scientist that gave him his super powers was up to. Kind of reminded me of Orphan Black.

 Superman #25 - Patrick Gleason & Peter J. Tomasi (writers) Doug Mahnke & Patrick Gleason (pencils) Jaime Mendoza, Mick Gray, Joe Prado, Ray McCarthy, Scott Hanna & Matt Santorelli (inks) Wil Quintana & John Kalisz (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). The conclusion to "Fade to Black" has guest stars galore and highlights the core of this title as the good guys prevail. I've enjoyed this book more because of the family values that Clark, Lois and Jonathan embody and the art is spectacular.

 Star Wars: Darth Vader #2 - Charles Soule (writer) Giuseppe Camuncoli (pencils) Cam Smith (inks) David Curiel (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). By the way Vader is mowing down storm troopers he must be really pissed at his boss. We find out who he's going to get his light sabre from in this issue. From the looks of the next issue teaser, it's going to be a scorcher.

 Nick Fury #3 - James Robinson (writer) Aco (pencils) Hugo Petrus (inks) Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) Travis Lanham (letters). This is freaking awesome. All you fans out there not reading this are missing out on some excellent writing and art. This reminds me of how I felt when I first saw Jim Steranko's art on Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. in the sixties as a teenager. Aco and Hugo's art with Rachelle's colours is so pretty and pops off the page. Buy this book.

 Super Sons #5 - Peter J. Tomasi (writer) Alisson Borges (art) Hi-Fi (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Few writers know how to make young adults sound genuine but Peter is one of them. This issue establishes Jon and Damian as the young dynamic duo. I can't wait to see what they get up to next.

 Invincible Iron Man #8 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Stefano Caselli (art) Marte Gracia (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). This sets up next issue's fight with Lady Von Bardas. We'll see how bardas she really is.