#please let me know if. ot I really don’t want to hurt anyone

[bonesashesglass]

Jumblr is trending again cuz it’s where zionists like to go to hide (obviously not everyone in the jumblr tag, there are some genuine great posts about Jewish culture and takes and all sorts of stuff, and I wish that was the entire tag, but unfortunately most of what I saw just now was people trying to justify a genocide)

Looking at those posts…the mental gymnastics people go through to convince themselves that Israel is somehow morally correct here and anyone supporting Palestine is evil and anti-Semitic is crazy. I mean those posts are practically unintelligible

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

This chapter is the SMUT. If you're under 18, walk away.

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine.

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. This is the Chapter 18+!

Word Count: 5678

Warnings: SPS, SMUT! (told you it was coming), Fluff, Loss of Virginity, Unprotected sex (Remember to wrap it up, you're not a Nephilim)

----------------------------------------- Chapter 23 Pt. 2

He smirked a bit but didn’t reply. Jess would at least keep Sam out of the shower room. It was Dean that Maria was mildly worried about. She grabbed a pair of grey sweats and an oversized, worn-in light blue t-shirt before she headed to the shower room.

It had an open floor plan with several showering areas and several sinks across from the showers. It reminded her of the gym locker rooms a high school would have where several people could shower at once. The front of all the shower stalls were open, with no curtain. She wasn’t overly fond of the color though. Maria set her things down on one of the benches before undressing and heading to one of the shower stalls. She didn’t mind, figuring no one would bother her.

Jess hadn’t been kidding about the shower pressure. The smaller bathrooms were great but this felt like it was on a whole new level, massage level pressure. She thought perhaps it was for the higher-ranking Men of Letters. She let the hot water just flow over her tense muscles. It felt amazing and she let herself get lost in the feeling, as well as her body relaxing. So much so, that she didn’t even realize anyone had gone into the shower room.

He had seen the steam coming out of the shower room and had gotten too curious not to look. It could only be one person and he knew it. There was a small smirk on his lips as he went through the open door of the room, seeing the steam emanating from the second stall. He couldn’t see her, not from where he was standing, so he slowly inched closer. Dean leaned against the sink that was across from the shower stall she was in, taking in the sight of her as the water flowed down her body.

“Was your shower occupied?” he asked her, a bit teasingly, with his arms crossed, smirking.

She screamed slightly, surprised before she looked over at him, putting her hand over her racing heart, trying to catch her breath. Once she did though, she rolled her eyes, “Just come here to window shop some more?” she retorted in a teasing way before leaning back under the flow of water.

Dean had to take a deep breath as his eyes slowly trailed down her body and then back up it, “You look good all wet like that,” he teased her, seductively. Maria grabbed the shampoo and began washing her hair, but glanced at him. She debated several things but after the research she’d done, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to take that particular plunge or cause him any pain if she couldn’t. She sighed and focused on her hair, “I don’t want to hurt you…” she replied.

He looked at her, somewhat confused, “Why do you think you’ll hurt me? I’m just watching you,” he asked, perplexed.

“I know what happens, to guys… when they get too turned on and don’t get that… release…” she replied, a bit shyly, “and well, I don’t want to do that to you.”

Dean managed to keep himself from chuckling at her, “Is that what you were looking up earlier?” he asked, finding her quite amusing but also sweet.

She blushed and couldn’t look over at him, “Uh… kind of…”

He pushed off the sink, arms still crossed, and walked closer to her shower stall, staying back far enough that he wouldn’t get wet, “Then, if you looked that up, there are other ways. We don’t have to have sex,” he told her, licking his lips and taking in the sight of her. He could look at her all day, and so much more.

Maria rinsed her hair, tilting her head back into the flow of water and Dean bit his lip, taking a deep breath. He watched how the suds from the shampoo in her hair traveled down her body with the flow of the water. She glanced over at him afterward, and blushed because of how he was looking at her, “I know… I’m, well…” she looked away and sighed, “I’m shy, okay?”

He took another deep breath and looked up at her, debating his next words, “Do you trust me?” he asked her, softly. He had no intentions of pushing her into anything she wasn’t wanting to do. He could however see her curiosity.

She felt those anxious feelings again, and forced herself to take a deep breath, attempting to calm them, then nodded her head a bit, “Mmhhmm,” she hummed nervously.

Go slow, Dean told himself as he undressed and got in the shower with her. She’d barely looked over at him, but once he was standing in front of her, she looked up at him, her chest tightening again. He smiled softly at her though, setting his hands on her upper arms.

“It’s okay, we can go slow and we’ll only do what you’re comfortable with. Okay?” he told her, and she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

She took another deep breath and nodded her head a little as she looked up into his eyes. His soft smile and gentle gaze helped relax her. His heart was pounding in his chest as he reached up and caressed her cheek before he leaned down and kissed her. It was slow at first, gentle as he let his other hand move up her arm, over her shoulder, and then down her back. She had to break the kiss between them to take a deep breath as her body shivered under his touch. It was far more intense than she thought it would be.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned, leaving his hand on the small of her back, just resting there.

“Yeah… just didn’t realize, umm… how sensitive I was…” she replied, attempting to calm her breathing. She knew she was sensitive, just not to this extent. No one had ever touched her, not like this.

He had remembered that from when she’d gotten her tattoo and the research he’d done on SPS. He already knew what he was getting into and was actually looking forward to it, “If you want me to stop, just let me know, okay?” he told her, gently, gazing down into her eyes.

Again she nodded a bit. Dean slowly moved her so that he was under the water and she was in front of him before he leaned down and kissed her neck, loving the way she inhaled deeply. He took his hand from her cheek and slid it down her arm, then gently moved her hand so that it was on his chest. He held it there for a moment as he slowly peppered her neck and shoulder with kisses, feeling his breathing increase with how she was responding. 

She’d read plenty but nothing could have prepared her for the actual experience. The one thing she hadn’t taken into account was how sensitive her body was. Dean’s lips sent electricity through her body, down all her nerves, right to her core. When he’d moved her hand though, she just let her hand sit there feeling his heart rate under her touch. She finally moved her hand along his chest, now feeling his muscles flexed under her fingers and he groaned into her neck. 

Go slow, he told himself again as he felt her other hand now on his back, moaning quietly against the flesh of her neck. He let his hands slowly move along her body, starting on her back, before they found their way to her sides, then her hips where he gripped them, just a bit. When he heard that soft moan leave her lips, he smirked happily, letting his right hand move up her side, along her ribs, and just under her breast. He felt her body almost quiver at that. 

Her heart was pounding, her body felt like it was on fire, and there was a feeling building that she’d never felt before, but she was enjoying it, immensely. She found a bit of courage though, and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his collarbone. Their bodies were practically touching and she felt his hardness against her body but couldn’t bring herself to look there. When she felt him brush his finger over her nipple though, she felt like her knees were going to give out on her, and she bit her lip, attempting to stifle another moan.

He felt her relax a little as her hands began slowly moving over his body, his muscles flexing under her touch and he loved the way her soft hands felt against his skin. Dean gently took her nipple between his fingers, teasing it, loving the sounds that she made, music to his ears. He let his other hand slowly move down her thigh, teasing the outside before his fingers danced across the front, then moved more to her center.

“Dean… I…” she attempted, but her knees were already almost too weak to keep her standing.

He quickly moved both his hands and held her up at her hips before he looked down at her. Her cheeks were red. She was breathing heavily and all he could do was smile, “It’s okay, I’ve got you. If you want to keep going, we can always head to one of our rooms,” he suggested but didn’t push.

She smiled a bit, her body still feeling fairly shaky, “Might not be a bad idea,” she breathed, biting her bottom lip a bit, more in anticipation than anything.

Dean smiled more with that before he reached back and turned off the water. He helped her out of the shower stall and handed her a towel while he grabbed one for himself. She watched him, taking in his physical appearance. She’d never really looked, not before last night when she’d seen him without a shirt on. And now, she almost couldn’t take her eyes off of him. The way his body looked reminded her of those statues that you’d find in a museum, only much more endowed. A small smirk formed on her lips as she finally turned away from him to dry her hair a bit so it wasn’t dripping. He mostly dried off, then just wrapped the towel around his waist. Dean gathered his clothes, then both her piles of clothes as she wrapped her towel around her, over her chest. “Come on,” he smiled, nodding toward the door. 

She again bit her lip, trying to keep from smiling more than she already was but followed him. The hallway floor was cold under her bare feet and she shivered a little. Something she’d never done was pleasure herself. That might sound weird to some but with the path of revenge she’d gone on, it just wasn’t part of her priorities. She’d been lost in thought as she followed him, watching the ways his muscles flexed while he walked, wanting to touch him, and that made her smile again. At least the fear had retreated, she thought to herself, then looked down at the floor. She took a deep breath, feeling more anticipation now, almost bumping into him when he stopped, not having been paying attention. So, as a save, she just wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her body against his back, then kissed along the back of his shoulder.

He groaned when he felt her lips against his skin and closed his eyes for a moment, his hand on the doorknob to his room, the other holding their clothes. His cock twitched under his towel before he finally opened the door to his room. He also heard her giggle a little before she let go of him and slid inside his room, under his arm. Little minx, he thought to himself, smiling. Dean went into his room and closed the door, again reminding himself to go slow with her. He set their clothes on his desk before he looked back over to her. Dean took note of her expression and her body language. She was smiling a little, looking like a mix of nervous and excited. Her hair was a bit messy and some of it had fallen over her shoulders. If only she knew how utterly beautiful he found her.

“We can still stop, any time you want. Okay?” he told her softly as he stepped closer, setting his hands on her hips again.

She took a deep breath as she looked up at him, this time putting her arms over his shoulders, lacing her fingers behind his neck, tilting her head a little, “Thanks, for being so patient with me.”

He smirked happily. She could swear that was just how he smiled. Then he leaned down and kissed her, again beginning slowly, teasing at her bottom lip with his tongue. She knew he was asking for access, and she allowed it, their tongues dancing intimately as she felt him give her hips a gentle squeeze before she closed her eyes. Dean slowly moved his hand up her side, finding the top of her towel where she’d tucked it together, then, let it fall to the floor. She shivered for a moment before she felt his hands on her again, slowly, gently letting his fingers dance along her skin, tracing the curves of her body.

All he could do was remind himself to go slow, at her pace, and not move too quickly. He knew all of this was a first for her and she was the most physically sensitive woman he’d ever been with. Dean slowly moved her over to the bed, helping her sit down on the edge before he broke the kiss with her.

“Get comfortable,” he told her gently.

She took a deep breath. Her entire body felt like it was warm and the cool air was nice but it didn’t feel as though it was helping her cool off any. She bit her bottom lip before she slid herself up near the pillows, laying down on her back. For a moment, she stared at the ceiling, trying to slow her breathing down, as well as her racing heart, her hands on her stomach. Maria was comfortable with her body, so lying naked there didn’t bother her.

“You okay, Sweetheart?” he asked her, standing at the foot of the bed for a moment. One thing he didn’t want was for her to feel pushed into doing anything she wasn’t ready for.

Maria partially sat up, using her elbows as braces, tilting her head a bit, trying not to smile like a giddy teenager, “Yeah, I’m okay. Just too warm to get under the covers.”

Dean took a deep breath, taking in the sight of her lying there, in his bed, licked his lips as he sucked the bottom one between his teeth. God she was beautiful, he thought to himself. He left his towel on, hoping it would help him at least not rush. She watched him as he climbed on the bed and laid on his side, as close to her as he could, propping himself up with his elbow. Maria laid back down and looked into his eyes, a soft, appreciative smile played into her expression. However, when she felt his fingers along her skin again, she inhaled deeply.

He watched her close her eyes as his hand explored her body, slowly, tracing her curves with his fingers. The quiet moans and whimpers she was making were music to his ears. When his hand reached her stomach, where her hands were, she slowly moved them, one to her side, between them, the other to his chest, before she opened her eyes and looked up at him again. He had a soft smile as he leaned down and kissed her, going slowly. Butterfly kisses, she thought to herself as she closed her eyes again, kissing him back, remembering to breathe between them. She felt his hand move further down along her stomach, then moaned into the kiss when his fingers began tracing her tattoo.

Dean began kissing along her jaw, moving to her neck, slowly as he slid his hand further down, then along the top of her thigh. He felt the muscles in her thigh tense for a moment, then moved his hand down, along her inner thigh. She wanted to say something, anything about how intense his touch felt, but the only thing that came out of her mouth was his name, in a soft, quiet moan. He smirked against her collarbone as he gently pulled at her thigh. Her legs shook a bit as she moved her them, opening them for him. For now, all she could really do, was lay there and let him touch her, the sensations more intense than she could have imagined. 

For a moment, he just held her thigh, gently but firmly before he looked into her eyes again, “Sweetheart, if you want to stop, just let me know,” he whispered, sincerely.

She took a deep breath, meeting his gaze, “I know. It’s okay…” she managed, through heavy breaths. It felt like wherever he touched it sent electricity through her nerves and straight to her core, and her body felt hot. She knew the technical terms for all of it, so knew it was normal and she was enjoying all of it in ways she had never imagined she would.

He leaned down, kissing her again, as his hand slid slowly up her inner thigh, brushing his fingers along her skin. She moaned into the butterfly kisses but the moment his fingers touched that little bundle of nerves, her body moved on its own. Her back arched and her nails dug a bit into his chest, as she felt what she could only describe as a coil in her stomach tighten. Dean groaned when he felt her nails, deepening the kiss with her, and she reciprocated. He slowly made circles on the little bundle, feeling her body tensing, quickly, as well as her breathing becoming heavy and hard. He slid his finger down, along her slit. God, she was so wet, he smirked into the kiss as she whimpered with his movements. He slowly slid one finger inside her but didn’t go deep, just a little to tease her as his thumb found her clit again, pressing and circling it slowly. It hit her, overtaking all her senses as that coil snapped inside her. He felt her clench around his finger and he helped her ride out the first orgasm of her entire life. 

Maria’s body was shaking when he pulled away from the kiss and looked down at her. She was out of breath, her chest heaving, little droplets of sweat along her forehead, and body. He didn’t move his hand from where it was but stayed still as he looked down at her, smiling a little. Dean was rock hard and God did he want her. He wanted to feel her wrapped around his cock with her walls quivering and throbbing as he was deep inside her, but one thing Dean was good at, was restraint. 

When she finally caught her breath, she looked over and up at him, speechless. All he could do was smile. He still hadn’t moved his hand away, “Can I do something else? Or, would you rather I stopped?” he asked in an intimate whisper, seeing the desire still in her eyes.

If only he’d asked her a simple yes or no question, she thought to herself, barely able to think with his hand where it was and how her body still felt like it was tingling all over, “The… uhh… the first one,” she answered, attempting to think through how her body felt.

He began kissing along her neck, slowly moving down her body, occasionally moving his thumb on her clit as her body moved on its own again. Her hips barely thrust into his touch. He smirked against her skin as he kissed down her chest, along the top of her breast, before he teased her nipple with his tongue. Her back arched again as she moaned his name, music to his ears, taking her nipple in his mouth, sucking, licking, even nibbling a little, loving the sounds that came from her mouth.

That coil in her stomach began building again with what he was doing and she moaned his name again. He felt her walls beginning to tighten around his finger, so he moved from her nipple and kissed tenderly down her stomach, moving his body as well. She was attempting to catch her breath when he left her nipple alone, but the cool air of his room against the dampness he’d left behind, kept it hard, and tingly. 

Dean repositioned himself so that he was between her legs, gently spreading them further apart as his lips moved along her tattoo, causing her to moan again. He smirked against her skin again, kissing further down, then flicked his tongue where his thumb had been. She half sat up, and he glanced up at her, but he didn’t move. He watched her breathing heavily, then gently flicked his tongue over her little bundle of nerves again. It was almost too much for her, the sensation. Not in an overstimulation way, but the way electricity shot through her entire body, hitting every nerve along the way. She put her knees up, still half sitting up, and looked down at him finally. 

He took note of the desire in her eyes and wrapped his other arm around her thigh, to hold her in place, firmly but gently before he sucked her clit into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue. He never took his eyes off of her, then hummed, causing her to scream out his name as her body shook and she clenched around the finger he still had inside her. She had tried to squirm away from him, but he held her as he helped her ride out the waves of her orgasm, feeling how her body shook and spasmed in his grasp. She tasted amazing and he groaned at the thought of being inside her. His groan against her clit made her body spasm again before she lay flat on her back, out of breath. 

Dean barely moved from where he was, “You okay Sweetheart?” he asked, smirking and proud of himself. But at the same time, he felt something else. He was her first, with all of this and that pulled at something in his heart. 

“My God Dean…” she replied through a heavy breaths.

He chuckled a little, “And think, we’ve barely done anything,” he teased her playfully.

She looked down at him, furrowing her brow with a playful glare, “Smartass,” she teased him and laid her head back on the pillow again, still out of breath.

Dean smirked, then slowly slid a second finger inside her, still not going deep. He could feel her hymen and wasn’t about to break that without her consent. 

“Mmmmm….” she moaned, her hips moving to meet his fingers, almost wanting to feel them deeper inside her.

He took a deep breath, gently stroking her thigh as he leaned his head on her other one, “If I go deeper… it might hurt, but not for long. I hope at least. I’m not sure how your sensitivity will affect that,” he told her, in the most comforting way and stopped moving his fingers. He wanted her to be able to think straight.

She took several slow, deep breaths. Maria knew what he was asking, telling her. She hadn’t planned to go that far and part of her felt nervous again. Dean felt the shift in how she was feeling, so he moved so that he was lying beside her again, slowly removing his fingers. He did lick them clean though, making her chuckle a little.

“I told you, your pace,” he smiled down at her. He was rock hard and he did want her but he wasn’t about to push her.

She took another, slow deep breath and looked up at him, pursing her lips together. The softness in his expression made her smile a little and the fire of desire in his eyes made her muscles tense in want. Maria bit her bottom lip as she turned onto her side to face him so he slid his hand onto her hip. First, she set her hand on his chest, as she looked into his eyes, then let her hand move down his body, feeling his muscles tense and flex under her touch. He bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying not to moan at how soft her touch was against his skin. 

There had been plenty in her research earlier that had helped her understand not only what he wanted but also what he needed. She leaned closer, kissing his neck, moving her hand further down, and opened his towel. Her fingers played along his skin and she made sure not to tickle him as she moved lower still. He gripped her hip a little tighter when he felt the side of her hand brush against his hard cock, making it twitch. She smiled against the skin of his chest as she moved her hand so that her fingers started at his base, teasing up the side of his shaft, slowly, then back down the top of it. A low growl rumbled from his chest.

She gently wrapped her hand around him, not firmly, not yet. She moved her hand, up and down his shaft, causing him to moan again. He reached down and stopped her though, taking a moment to breathe before he looked at her. 

“You don’t have to,” he tried to tell her, a bit gruffly, and she looked at him somewhat puzzled.

“But… I want to,” she replied, still slightly confused as to why he’d stop her.

He bit his lip before he let go of her hand, then gently moved her a bit so that her left foot was on the bed, her knee bent, and he slid his hand down, cupping her heat. Her hand twitched, gripping him a little firmer and he kissed her, deeply. Dean slid two fingers inside her but before he could stop, just before her hymen, she rolled her hips, pushing his fingers deeper inside her. There was minimal pain with how wet she was, but she still had to take a deep breath. He didn’t move his fingers and leaned his forehead against hers.

“Just breathe Sweetheart,” he told her softly.

She took a couple of slow, deep breaths. He felt her walls involuntarily clenching and unclenching around his fingers at the breaking of her hymen but also due to the spot his fingers had hit, within her. Dean waited until she relaxed before he slowly moved his fingers a little deeper, then slid them partially out. He did that for a few strokes until he felt her hips move into his hand, which pushed his fingers even deeper inside her. She moaned quietly, slowly moving her hand over his cock again as it twitched in her hand. Dean continued to go slow with his fingers, and once he was buried, knuckle deep, he curled his fingers, eliciting a moan as she arched her back, gripping him tighter. He growled lowly as he leaned down and kissed her. 

This time the kisses were deeper, more passionate, and needy. He moved his hips with her hand as she moved her hips with his fingers. His thumb found her clit again, and as he rubbed it, he slid a third finger inside her, causing her to pull away from the kiss and moan his name. Neither of them had planned on this going this far, let alone further. She was tight around his fingers, and if she wanted more, he’d have to stretch her out or he knew he’d hurt her, and that was the last thing he wanted.

He slowed his movements and looked down at her again just as she looked up at him, a bit puzzled, but completely lost in the passion, “You okay?” she asked him, through a heavy breath.

Dean took a deep breath, “Yeah. I’m okay,” he replied softly, smiling a little. He wanted to ask her so badly to be inside her but didn’t want to push her.

She stopped moving her hand and tilted her head, just a bit, then bit her lip. She wasn’t sure how to ask him. Everything that went through her mind sounded completely stupid. So, she moved her hand off of his cock, then shifted a little and slid her arm under his side. That had made him move a little, lifting his side off the bed. She took the opportunity and used her arm to gently nudge him closer to her. He practically held his breath.

“You sure?” he asked, still checking in with her as his heart began to race at the thought.

She bit her lip, trying to keep herself from smiling too much, and nodded her head. Maria did want him but it was far beyond a physical level, and she knew it. Dean’s heart was pounding in his chest as he moved so that he was over her, still holding himself up with his arm, his fingers still inside her. He leaned down and kissed her as she put her arms around him, holding his body against hers. Go slow, he reminded himself again, moaning into the heated kiss. Dean played with her for a few more moments before he slid his fingers from her, now using both his elbows to hold himself up. She felt his hardness pressed against her thigh as he shifted between her legs, and she then felt him pressed against her core. Her walls clenched around nothing feeling the heat of his cock along her slit and clit. 

Dean moved his hips so that he rubbed against her, and she attempted to arch her back again, moaning at the contact, but with their bodies pressed against each other, she didn’t move far. She moved her hips with his, then slid them down, just enough to where she felt his head at her entrance. He pulled away from the kiss and looked into her eyes, a silent question. She nodded, slowly moving her hips so that his head slid inside her a little. They both moaned at the feeling. He took a deep breath as he inched further inside her, pausing at times, giving her time to adjust to the feeling.

She felt like she was on fire, the coil in her stomach threatened to snap at any moment, just with the way he inched inside her. It felt more amazing than she could have ever imagined and she dug her nails into his back. Every time he made a noise it only turned her on further. All her nerves felt as though they were not only completely exposed but also electrified. When he finally bottomed out, he just stayed there, both of them breathing heavily for a moment as he laid his forehead against her shoulder. She felt so good wrapped around his cock he thought he’d come if he moved and needed a moment to calm down. Then she felt him twitch inside her, making her moan quietly, then rolled her hips, pushing him deeper.

Dean began moving, slowly at first, halfway out before going back deep inside her. Her nails dug into his back as he did so, and she moved her hips to meet his. The movements of their bodies only held her on the verge, never tipping her over. The whimpers and moans that came out of her mouth were music to his ears. He shifted his body again, so that he was more on his knees, holding her hips as he stayed deep inside her. He ground against her, hitting that sweet spot deep inside and she came undone, moaning his name. She clenched around him, and then her walls fluttered, clenching as her hips moved of their own volition, chasing the waves of her climax. He moaned her name, attempting to help her ride out her orgasm, but it was too much for him and he came, buried deep inside her, only intensifying her release. 

He collapsed over her, barely able to hold himself up so he didn’t crush her with his weight. Both of them were breathing heavily and she held him close, in a gentle embrace. It had been powerful for both of them, neither wanting to move away from the other. Her body was shaky, still spasming occasionally, her walls clenched around him from time to time for the next minute, causing him to twitch inside her. That made her moan quietly when it happened.

Dean eventually slipped himself out of her and laid on his side next to her for a moment, just looking down at her, his eyes searching her expression, worried she may have regretted going so far so fast. She just smiled softly up at him, then caressed his cheek with her hand.

“I’m okay,” she told him, almost lovingly.

He smiled a bit, moving some of her hair behind her ear, then softly letting his hand move down her arm and rest on her hip, “So, no regrets then?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She giggled a little, “No. No regrets,” she replied, then bit her lip for a moment, “Dean… thank you… for being my first,” she told him, this time it was lovingly.

Dean leaned down and kissed her softly, intimately. She knew what he was trying to say and she kissed him back. Once the two caught their breath, Dean helped clean them both up. She found the gesture endearing. Then the two cuddled up, on his bed, under his covers. Sleep found them quickly and she’d completely forgotten she’d be meeting with Mari in her dreams that night.

----------------------------------------- A/N: This is my first attempt at SMUT, lol. Hope it's okay and you guys enjoyed it. I'm always up for some constructive criticism so feel free to leave me a comment. Thanks. Chapter 24 - Apple Pie

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch

Link to the master list for this story.

[aclosetfan]

HIIII, I know it's completely random to come and ask about this, but curiosity was already killing me! I really wanted to know your favorite fanfics/users about our community of 5 rises from the shadows every 1 fanart posted per year 🤩 (Laughing at the misery)

But anyway, I'm just asking because you'll always be my favorite even after years, for me no one will ever be able to understand and write the characters exactly the way I imagine you do, and I wanted to know a little more about your point of view on PPG fanfics/creators. (Please never stop even with random headcanons during the week because I need them to make my month happier and survive in this fandom 😭)

The main question is right in the first part, but I just wanted to be able to express a little bit how much I love your profile, even though I'm not very good with words... Thanks for reading this far! ♡ (Sorry if I got some words wrong, English is not my first language and it doesn't even make the top 3. This is my first question on this app, i'm hoping to make a comeback, so please ignore the mistakes for I can sleep peacefully tonight 😀 God I'm addicted to emojis)

Thank you so much! <3 This is so sweet! Really, it means a lot that you like my characterizations so much. It took a lot of practice :) Please don’t apologize for anything!! gosh, this is such a hard ask because there are literally only five people, like you said 😂😂 I feel like I’ve been out of the game for a bit, so if there’s been any new exciting fan stuff, I haven’t seen it.

When it comes to favorite users, I’ve made a lot of friends over the years. A lot of those people have deactivated or moved on after CW announced their show, so, for simplicity, I’m not going to name anyone because I’d feel bad leaving someone out. But truly, I’ve liked everyone I’ve had the opportunity to talk and bond over the show with. The little corner I’ve hung out with is a good group, and it’s nice to still see old faces pop up every once in a while. If anything, I haven't deleted or let go of this blog because I don’t want all the fun posts we’ve made to go too. I like them being somewhere, and it’s still important to me.

With respect to fics I’ll give you three! Whenever I’m asked this, I always link The Notion of Loss by Gold Scribbles (completed). It’s one of my faves. It’s dark. There’s major character death, and it’s not cutesy (which is what I prefer), but I loved loved loved the characterizations.

My next fave fic is no longer available 😭 (or at the very least, I can no longer find it). The premise involves the rrb coming back. Their goal was to kill the girls. They jumped Bubbles to get their attention and attacked her to the point of disfigurement. Of course, Buttercup and Blossom are out for blood via enhanced antidote-X. They end up capturing Boomer as bait (call back to the og show), and are able to fight Brick and Butch. Buttercup kills but not without Butch doing the classic “See, you’re as bad as me! Haha!” which she ends up internalizing in the post-time skip. Blossom ends up killing Brick but at the sacrifice of her own life, which is the only way to stop him, and the scene where she comes to peace with things is heart-wrenching. The epilogue shows Buttercup lamenting over Butch’s last words and honoring her sister by finishing her work. Bubbles, with scarring that never healed, visits Boomer in jail, who she sees every week to spend time with him. She’s kind and polite because she believes he can be better, and it drives him crazy. AND I LOVVVVEEED IT. But it’s gone now. And it hurts.

My third rec is Pencils Tell a Little Too Much by Iminaloine (completed). It's a Butch-centric fic that explores how he's able to channel his anger and more intense emotions through art, which is 10/10!!

And because one of my fic recs doesn't have a link, here's 2 extra! everybody screams at the end of the world by fuckin-rodent (incomplete). While it's incomplete, it sets up a post-apocalyptic story like no other. I also really like heartsickness by the same author, which is a greens story.

Finally, while I don’t want to stop making stuff for you, I’ve obviously slowed down :(( The blog's still on hiatus; I'm sorry! I finished school and have recently started a new job. I don't know when I'll have time to more consistently update, which I know I've been saying for years now, but that's just growing up sometimes :/ And because I've been so busy, I'm feeling pretty uninspired about things. I haven't written anything new in months for any of my own writing projects or fandoms.

I do have another fan blog for my general fan interests that I sometimes write on (justanotherfanwriter). I can't guarantee you'll find something you like, but I'm more active on there solely because that's where I reblog a larger variety of fan content and sometimes write one-shots for other fandoms. But when it comes to the fics, again, I haven't been very inspired, so there isn't much there. It's pretty devoid of my own content, actually. So, I don't have many friends through that blog!

I also have a side blog for my own writing projects, but that has a dismal, like, 10 posts on it because I've got nothing up in my brain rn. Also, it's harder to write when you have no friends to brainstorm with! I def need more friends who'd talk about personal projects with me, not just fanfics!! If anyone has made it this far down the post, let me know if this is something you'd be interested in (just for shits and giggles at this point nothing serious)

[galushanationalrailways]

The Fraggle Rock Story Ch. 10

Chapter Ten: Behind the Curtain

Hours before the dream, after Boober had left, Tosh saw the strange curtain go up across the hall again. The Beast had already gone to sleep, so she didn’t need to go to the trouble of finding a beastsitter. Tosh ran so fast to the mysterious house that she tripped and stumbled a couple times, but she seemed to have no knowledge of the pain. Finally, she walked through the door. “Hello, darling!” she said.

“Hi, sweetheart,” said Lou. “I missed you.”

“I was only gone an hour!”

“Oh, you know how I get. Needy, I guess… and perhaps a bit jealous, too.”

“Jealous of who? I love you, silly!”

“Oh, I know that. But if you love anyone else in addition to me, I wish you’d just tell me! We can work things out.”

“There’s no-one else right now!”

“Alright, fine. I’ll just go right ahead and say it. I happened to look out the window, you know, the one across the hall, and I saw you kissing Boober. I just wish you’d tell me--”

“Oh, Lou, for goodness sake! I’ve tried my best to forget about that already!” Lou hadn’t heard this, however, and continued detailing her noble compromise.

“Maybe I’ll never love him, but if you love him, why keep you from your happiness? You’ve got two hands, after all--”

“He’s just an old friend in a bad situation.”

“Personally, I always thought he was gay,” said Lou. “But I can’t blame him if you turned his head, after all, you turned mine and--”

“Lou, will you please listen?”

“Of course.”

“Boober and I have been friends for a while, as you know.”

“Aww…” said Lou, “I love it when friends grow together…”

“But I’m not in love with him!” said Tosh.

“Then why kiss him?”

“Because he thinks he’s in love with me.”

“What do you mean, honey? How do you know he’s not?”

“Lou, do you remember when you told me you loved me?”

“Pretty well. I was damn nervous.”

“Did you ever say anything like ‘I guess,’ or ‘sure, why not?’ when you confessed?”

“Of course not. I was never more certain of anything in my life.”

“Well, he did.”

“Well, just because he’s a bad liar isn’t any reason to kiss him,” said Tosh. “You want something to drink? I forgot to offer you anything!”

“I’m fine,” said Tosh. “And I really didn’t mean anything by it. I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“That’s what’s probably going to happen,” said Lou. “You can’t just string him along like this!”

“But he tried so hard!”

“It doesn’t matter! The best thing to do now, Tosh, is to let him down gently.”

“You’re right. As soon as I get up the nerve, I’ll tell him—”

“Boober, you’re a very nice boy, and I hate to do this, but it’s not you, it’s me, and, whilst flattered, I find that I can love you only as a friend. Farewell, little Boober, farewell!” said Lou, revealing herself to be a complete ham. “May the world go well with thee—my heart, alas, belongs to another.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re still jealous!”

“I’m no-ot,” said Lou teasingly, “You just give a very convincing performance of falling in love. You know I could never be mad at you, not if you’re honest. If there is anyone else, just let me know. I’m sure all could be arranged.”

“Thank you,” said Tosh. “But there’s nobody but you at the moment… and I really would like to kiss you right now.”

“I’m here for it,” said Lou. After a decent enough amount of kissing, she finally said “Tosh, why are we keeping our love a secret again?”

“I’m not ashamed of you, darling, really I’m not,” said Tosh. “But if people were to find out they might—I don’t know, call us a couple of saps or something. Mush-heads—something like that.”

“Is that all?” said Lou. “Because I’ll confess to being a sap for you, Tosh-darling…”

“But what if they point at us? And laugh?”

“Why should they?”

“Oh, I don’t know—but I worry so, please don’t give us away,” Tosh said, nuzzling up to Lou.

“Uh, er--” said Lou, still not quite used to this level of affection, “Sure I won’t, honey.” Nuzzling got her every time.

“Keep it at any cost! I’d hate to see us embarrassed.”

“Couldn’t I talk to that Mokey fella about it at least? She’d never insult us.”

“Are you crazy? She loves romance so much she wouldn’t be able to keep the secret!”

“I just feel like I could use some advice.”

“You don’t need any. I’m so lucky to be with you--”

“But are you keeping any secrets from me?”

“Never…” Tosh trailed off and fell asleep in Lou’s arms.

“You’re the weirdest fraggle I ever met,” whispered Lou, feeling a thousand emotions as she held Tosh a little closer. “I love you.”

[brittlebonesguy]

4,5,6,7

stephanie.....she doesn’t have to sleep out in the rain every night jesus. once again clay i can’t stand you dumbass opinions kindly shut your mouth for the rest of the season please. all three of these men of this tribe: ted, clay, and brian are at the bottom of my list i hate them. i truly don’t like ted or clay. you wanna know why it wasn’t a team effort shii ann? because it was dead fucking quiet even coming up with a name for the dummy you’re meant to decorate. you also literally said you don’t care. so.....all of you be annoying i guess. i REALLY hate the way the men talk about the women on the orange tribe. and i don’t like that they call jan granny. especially since they do nothing around the camp. the women are getting the water, making the food and the men? sitting the water. and there it is. the outright sexism. fuck you guys. helen is eating with these comments against the men oof. thats fully correct ghandia unfortunately women never stick together in this game and all three of you will be picked off. wanna try that sentence again clay or are you just gonna keep stumbling through it. stop not jeff chastising clay’s choice of a nickname. i am so disappointed in you helen. truly. ghandia you have every right not to let it go. 

who wouldn’t for you clay, you fucking pig. ........a lot of people eat the organs of animals robb. and also why are you turning your nose up to perfectly good food just because it’s an organ. you guys have been starving for days but you draw the line there? he better pray one of the challenge isn’t gross food based. brian really has a high opinion of himself. great little piss baby got hurt and somehow its shii ann’s fault. can’t wait to hear him complain about this for the next three day. these people are so useless. how the fuck do you lose  whole fucking boat. the island isn’t mysterious you’re just stupid. ted is absolutely responsible for the boat but i’ll just blame it on you anyway clay. its more fun that way. ot instead of yelling you could just get out of the water and read the fucking note yourself. clay: its betting on food jan: its a gambling thing clay: no shit sherlock. okay,,,,,so you’re allowed to point out the obvious but no one else? your sexism is showing give me 10 minutes with him alone in a room and he’s coming back with at least three broken bones. helen what makes you think you won’t be out next right after jan. i hate when people say “oh i’d hate to do it but that’s the decision that the tribes made i have to vote for them” no you DONT you literally don’t have to. i can feel how much jeff doesn’t like robb. 

oh so we’re all just gonna drop that word whenever huh? shii ann now on a shit list. if you don’t want anyone to know about your secret alliance then don’t fall into silence the moment someone walks up while you’re talking. i don’t understand the constant judgement of jan. she seems really sweet and she just wants to have a fucking funeral for a bat okay? piss off. she deserves a better season honestly. firstly robb needs to stop saying baby to shii ann and secondly he truly does not know how to spell her name considering he keeps putting s.h.bye BITCH! thank god robb didn’t make to to merge. i don’t know what i would have done if he did. i get the vibe that jeff is so done with this season.

why did it look like brian was going in for a kiss with penny. really hate brian’s cockiness. rest of her life? its just survivor ken. penny does give mean girl vibes. yeah shii ann leaving tracks for this tribe

[starkscosmos]

sneaking around

masterlist

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

warnings: maybe some suggestiveness?

summary: you and peter have been dating for a while and yet none of the avengers have found out about your relationship

you and peter had been dating for a while now

what was it? five months

and it was getting pretty serious

but somehow none of the avengers knew about the little thing you had going on

well except from nat and wanda

nat knows everything

and wanda read your mind one time

she regretted that one straight away

you know, with two literal geniuses on the team you’d assume that they’d have figured it out by now

so that’s why you hadn’t told them straight up

you just assumed they weren’t oblivious

but also because you didn’t really want to have that conversation with your dad

peter was so scared that he’d kill him

so that’s why you just kept it a secret

it saves people dying

one saturday the team had a mission

and peter couldn’t go due to a ‘patrol injury’

he definitely did not fall out of a tree trying to impress you with his backflip

this meant none of the avengers were in the tower

meaning you two were alone

for once

so of course you were going to take this to your advantage

with a star wars marathon

well that was the plan anyways

it may or may not have ended with you guys making out

apparently for a while too

because suddenly peter pushed you away

which kind of hurt

but thank thor he did that

because a second later the living room door opened and the team flooded in

you had to quickly sort out your hair

you know? so they weren’t suspicious

“you’re back early?”

tony checks his watch

“no honey we’re right on time.”

he goes over to get an apple from the fruit bowl

“so did you get up to anything while we were gone?”

you and peter shake your heads

“so you spent five hours doing absolutely nothing?”

steve puts down his shield and sits on a chair

“well we watched star wars for a bit.”

“anything else?”

nat smirks

so you just glare at her

“nope.”

you shake your head

“nothing else.”

“then why’s your hair like that?”

sam glares at you suspiciously

you just shrug

“okay then.”

he leaves the room

but then when you and peter go to leave your dad stops you

“where do you think you’re going?”

“to my room.”

he mutters a quick no and tells you to sit back down

so you do

because he’s your dad

and you’re a nice person?

“dad we just want to go play on the xbox, can you please let us go?”

he sighs

“fine.”

and you two quickly leave before he can say anything else

but then your dad realises something

there’s no xbox in this tower anymore

thor threw it out of the window last week

you blew up his minecraft theme park

so tony sighs in defeat and looks over at natasha

“we don’t even have an xbox.”

“well it’s too late now tony.”

“what do you mean?”

nat just stands up and leaves the room

“romanoff, come back here and tell me what you meant!”

but she’s gone

there was another close call a few weeks later

i mean it wasn’t exactly a close call of such

but anyways

it was avengers movie night

mamma mia had just finished

and yes bucky chose it

it was pretty late

so you and peter had fallen asleep

your head was on his shoulder

it was adorable

this was the exact moment your dad started to root for the two of you

but of course he had no clue you had actually been dating for months

it hadn’t even crossed his mind till now

it hadn’t really crossed anyone’s mind

more of the team came to see what tony seemed to be admiring

a chorus of “awws” travelled across the group

nat and wanda just smiled at each other

now, steve had been making a scrapbook for your birthday

and he thought this would be a nice addition

but heck that man does not know how technology works

after asking around he had finally been able to open the camera on his phone

and the stupid thing had left flash on

which of course made you wake up

quickly everyone ran back to their seats

you and peter rub your eyes adjusting to the light and smile at each other

you just looked so happy

when you were happy, so was your dad

so if peter was what was making you happy then he had no problem with it whatsoever

i mean you’d think so anyway

he did still threaten to throw peter out of the window when he found out

[illusionsofdreaming]

would it be okay to request headcanons with the main trio from TCF who aren't in a relationship with the (fem) reader yet but they like each other, the guys get hurt or something and the reader is so scared of losing them or was so anxious that she ended up kissing them? You can edit a few parts if you'd prefer! thank you, i know you have a lot of requests but you're the only one who writes x reader for them-

Notes: It took forever+forever but I finally gave up trying to perfect it- y'all just going to have to deal with these half baked potatos as I sob in the corner for my lack of functioning writing braincells.

+ 'nonny I know you asked for Fem reader but I'm just so used to writing gender neutral nowadays I actually forgot to write Fem reader in. Uh. I mean it's gender neutral so it should work regardless?? I'msorrypleaseforgivemeforthisblunder

Ft: Cale, Alberu, Choi Han

Cale Henituse

He’s covered in blood.

Again.

He glanced down at his shirt, once white, now completely soaked and rapidly losing warmth. The icky feeling of sticky cloth stuck on skin caused goosebumps to break out all over his arms. The lethargy that weighed on him was hard to ignore, but expected after using his ancient powers-

“Cale!”

He turned just as the full force of you barrelled into him and he staggered, unbalanced and would’ve fallen had you not pulled him back. He barely had time to protest at your rough greeting when you began frantically patting him down as if scouring him for weapons.

“There’s so much- where are you hurt?” you demanded harshly, your tone pitched higher than normal. “Raon call for Saint Jack and the others, medics- anyone that can help!”

“Y-yes! I-I will! Weak hu-human you better not die or I will destroy the kingdom!”

“Wai-“ his protests were ignored as the dragon flew off, leaving Cale dumbfounded with his jaw hanging down in disbelief. “Wait you don’t have to find the others, I’m fi-“

“Cale Henituse, if I hear you say ‘I’m fine’ I’m going to sock you to kingdom fucking come.“ you seethed. His lips snapped shut obediently, swallowing the aforementioned phrase down as a foreboding chill crept down his spine.

But I am..?

“How could you..” your voice shook even as you clung onto his soaked shirt so tightly your knuckles turned white. “You’re always doing stupid things like this…”

Cale frowned, feeling a bit indignant. Sure his plans weren’t the most thought out at times, but to call them stupid…

“If you waited for us to come, then you wouldn’t have to- why do you keep sacrificing yourself like this?”

That triggered an alarm in his head. What strange things were you talking about? The act of sacrifice were done by martyrs and selfless heroes and Cale Henituse was neither of those. He wanted to correct your misunderstanding but you were worked up and hysterical and it was with horror that he realised you were crying.

“________-“

“Don’t talk! Please, just conserve your energy- I won’t let you die, I promised the kids and the others- I won’t let you-”

The alarm bells in his head rang even louder and he fought to be heard over your rambling, “_________- no one’s dying, I’m fine-” it felt as if his heart had leapt to his throat as he stopped your fist before it could make contact. You really weren’t joking when you said you’d punch him. He tightened his hold on your wrist when you tried to twist out of his grip and swallowed nervously. “I’m not hurt _________,“ he emphasised, willing you to meet his eyes.

“Stop bullshitting me Cale- how much of a fucking idiot do you take me for? How can anyone be fine after losing this much blood-“

“It’s not mine.”

You stilled in his grasp.

“…W-what?”

He frowned. Was it really that hard to believe his words? “The blood’s not mine.” he repeated and made sure to meet your disbelieving gaze head on so that you could verify the truth in his words. “They were cut down before they could harm me. None of this blood is mine. I was not hurt.“ It was a partial lie. He did cough out some blood after instinctively activating the shield for protection but he felt that that was knowledge you’d be better off not knowing.

The coiled tension in you leaked out and Cale slowly released his grip on your hand and took a cautious step back - just in case. It was a good thing he managed to deescalate the situation before the others arrived. Just convincing one person was hassle enough and from experience alone, he knew the others weren’t as merciful when it came to learning about his injuries, regardless of severity or his protests otherwise. Cale shuddered. He really didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Ron’s cold smile again. He glanced up and saw Raon’s flying figure and he waved lazily to the dragon hoping the young one would understand that the healers were no longer necessary, it had only been a false alarm.

“..ot.”

“Hm?” He looked down, hearing you mumble but didn’t quite catch what you’d said.

He was not prepared to be yanked forward and for your lips to mash against his. There was a brief sting where your teeth had caught on his lip and the uncomfortable sensation of having your teeth clack against each other, noses in the way. He froze, like a deer caught in headlights, thoughts reeling but before he could think of acting, to push or pull you in even closer-

You let him go just as abruptly and he staggered, breath stolen, mind in absolute disarray.

Then you slapped him. Which definitely cleared his thoughts. “You idiot!”

Stupefied, he watched as you stormed off, stuck in a daze as he cradled his face where his cheek and lips tingled for different reasons.

“…What..?”

Choi Han

Choi Han didn’t know what Cale saw in you back then, a complete stranger whom they saved by chance and nursed back to health with utmost care. You, who Cale insisted was the final key to their masterplan and then asked Choi Han to act as your escort.

There were many things Choi Han didn’t understand when it came to Cale-nim’s decisions. But that wasn’t so unusual and he’d never made it a habit to question Cale’s reasoning, having learned to be patient, knowing the pieces would eventually slot together in the grand picture. So although initially wary he was of your unclear history and affiliation, he stayed by your side and did his duty without question.

And perhaps after weeks of accompanying you, he’s beginning to see what Cale saw. Though powerless and weak, you were righteous and passionate, holding true to your belief even in the face of adversaries. You were the perfect replacement for the tyrannical ruler of the country, someone capable of salvaging the crumbling system of a neglected, abused society and lifting it to new heights and glory.

With the flames of revolution ignited, everything hinged on getting you safely to Cale on the final stage. While the revolutionaries fought and acted as distractions above ground, he escorted you through the abandoned waterways.

The undergrounds were dark and cramped, incredibly disadvantageous to a swordsman such as himself. When assassins leaped out in an ambush; Choi Han didn’t hesitate. Without time nor space to draw his sword, he pushed you behind him and raised his arm to block the strike.

As the momentum of the assassin’s blade stopped, it became simple matter to quickly disarm and finish them. Having checked and affirmed that there’s no forthcoming attacks, he urged you to hurry, now worried as they weren’t expected to be discovered so soon.

Something must’ve happened, we should hurry to Cale-nim’s side-

He was halted with a firm grip on his other hand and was pulled back as he was met with your stern, unwavering gaze and declaration that you will not move another step from this spot until his arm got treated first.

Which was a ridiculous request considering they were running on a tight schedule. He frowned and his fingers flexed against the hilt of his sword as you pulled him to the side.

When none of his objections were being heard, he tried reasoning with you. The wound may look horrible, but he’d assured you he’d angled his arm just so that the blade would’ve caught on his bone rather than tendons. It was a strategic move that not only blocked momentum but also kept damage to his non-dominant arm at the minimum. He would not have bled to death nor would he be crippled from it, something that barely needed the emergency care you insisted on.

“It’s not necessary, we need to get to the tower room first.”

“The room is not moving anywhere, I’d rather not risk having you develop an infection because you neglected to care for your wound.“

He flinched when alcohol was poured on the cut and Choi Han breathed out slowly, his frustration mounting as precious seconds passed. Something in his chest stirred uncomfortably. He’s not accustomed to having others care for his wounds, having spent so many years caring for them himself whilst hiding his weaknesses from monsters in the Forest of Darkness.

“I will attend to it after I’ve brought you to Master Cale’s side, we must-“

Your eyes flashed with anger as your grip tightened painfully around his arm. “So many things have been lost to reach this stage, I’d rather not lose more on the way there.”

“Cale-“

Perhaps you’ve had enough as well as the next thing he knew, your fingers dug into his arm and he found himself yanked forward and you pressing a hard, determined kiss that stole whatever he was going to say from his lips.

“Cale Henituse,” you said sternly when you parted and picked up a roll of bandages, “can afford to wait a bit longer.” you glared at him as if daring him to argue otherwise.

Not that it was necessary, considering he’d doubt he’d have the coherency to answer anything with the way all the blood in his body was rushing to his face.

Alberu Crossman

He didn’t feel anything upon the moment of impact. Only the shocking cold of metal being slid into his side and the vicious gaze of the perpetrator pressed up to his front.

The pain ripped through a moment later and he gritted his teeth, red spilling down his lips. It hurts.

Activity bursted around him, screams of fear echoed through the ballroom as guards rushed to his side. However one voice in particular caught his attention and he looked up to catch your horrified expression, lips parted in a desperate cry.

His forehead furrowed as a strange sense of guilt washed over him- he didn’t want you to see this- but he didn’t have time to explore the feeling as his hand latched firmly on the hand which still held the weapon in his side, preventing their escape.

His smile was red, “Caught you now, rat.”

═════☩══♛══☩═════

He tousled his hair dry with a towel as he read through the reports in his hand.

Alberu was exhausted, the fight to rid his side of his enemies’ spies had always been an ongoing and tedious project. His enemies were cunning and always played things safe however their impatience this time would cost them. Now that one of their own has fallen into his hands, they can start pulling in the net.

A knock sounded on his door and he didn’t bother looking up from his reports as he gave permission. “Come in.”

“Did you manage to find any new information from them?” he asked immediately as the door opened. Anything gleaned from the assassin would be beneficial to his cause. Not that he truly expected any confessions to be given this night. Any hired killer worth their salt would know not to betray the mastermind behind a hit. But there were more than one way to find credible information aside from words torn directly from the lips of a captive.

When no answer came, he looked up and immediately dropped the papers he was reading.

“___________…”

In the aftermath of the attack and the capture of the assassin he’d been immediately escorted to the healers for first aid. With the bare minimum done he’d left quickly to take control of the situation, calming the aristocrats and giving orders to assign all guests to be escorted to a room in the palace to rest from the unexpected development - the smarter ones would know this was just a way to keep all suspects in one place, stalling for time so that his trusted aides may work to narrow down the most likely suspects. He had been meaning to find you and explain once everything settled but this time you took matters into your own hands.

Your eyes glanced at the documents he dropped. “Am I disturbing your work?”

“No,” he replied instantly, fighting back the urge to shuffle the papers behind him. “No, you’re not.”

The room lapsed into silence once more as neither of you seemed keen to address the elephant in the room.

“About tonight…” he started slowly, “they had to believe I had my guards lowered.”

The truth was, though he believed you would not have been behind the attack, you had to be tested all the same. Should it be known you’ve been partial to this plan, it would’ve given the real culprits leverage to use.

You approached him and he wished you would say something. He noted the redness in your eyes and felt a stab of guilt lodge in his chest. “It had to be believable.”

You didn’t meet his eyes and your hand hovered over where his wound had been.

He lifted the edge of his shirt up to reveal the pink scar tissue underneath. It was ugly and badly healed due to the rush he had been in. “I wasn’t in any real danger.” he said softly, staying still and resisting the urge to shiver when your fingers traced the scar.

“You’re picking up bad habits from Cale.” You said so softly he would’ve missed it had he not been paying attention.

“The padded shirt under prevented the blade from going too deep.” he explained, hoping you’d understand that he hadn’t been reckless. Everything had been planned carefully. He slowly tucked his shirt back in as you withdrew your hand, already missing the warmth you brought to his skin just moments ago.

“__________…”

You leaned in and placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Don’t do that again.” you whispered against his cheek.

He could only watch in astonishment as you turned away and exited his room.

“..Okay..” he said hoarsely to the empty room.

[whet-ones-appetite]

JJK students pranking you with a fake cockroach gone wrong + extra

SFW — Yuji + Toge + Yuuta + Megumi + Nobara + Maki

Trigger Warning — None!

Itadori Yuji

• This boy would never do anything that can cause harm to you or to anyone

• But he also wonder what are the things you’re afraid of aside from loosing him

• Because you always look so cool and sweet at the same time

• Then he saw this video about a couple where the other pranking the other one with a fake cockroach and ended up hugging the other

• So he decided to give it a try

• He is planning to do it inside his room, making sure that it’s only you and him

• He hid the toy beside the tissue dispenser

• He bought food and he knows you’ll ask for them later on

• “Hey, you got tissue?”

• And you did, he tried his best not to be obvious so he just didn’t look at you as he try to make his voice as normal as possible

• “Yeah, it’s right there”

• He watched you as you make your way to the tissue dispenser

• He counted 1 to 3 inside his head and then...

• He heard nothing. Did you not see it? He made sure to put it where you can see it

• He quickly turned his head to stare at his food before you turned around as he silently questioned himself what did go wrong

• “Hey, Yuji”

• “Yeah?” maybe he answered too quickly here and turned his head too quickly it hurts

• “What is that? Is that... a cockroach?”

• He turned his head to where you are pointing at and there is a cockroach, beside him, only an inch apart from his uncovered legs

• He’s in your arms as quick as he turned his head when you called his name earlier

• Poor boy looks very terrified as he try to hide himself inside your arms

• It didn’t take too long before he hears you laughing, throwing your head back while hugging him and he stopped screaming, looking at you weirdly

• “Wha-“

• It took him 10 seconds before he could process what was happening. The cockroach was too stiff to be real then he realized it was the toy that he bought

• His scared face is now close to crying out of regret because of his attempt of pranking you came back at him

• He is embarrassed and hate his self for putting himself in this situation

• “Sorry, Yuji. You’re just too cute. I’m sorry don’t cry. Come here let me hug you”

• And he did. All the negative feelings is fading as you rub his back. This is what he wanted after all but the other way around

• I guess you’re not really afraid of anything

• “I was planning to prank you like the video I watched the other week. But you didn’t got scared.”

• “I know, I’m sorry. But at least you got to hug me right?”

• “Yeah”

• He said with a sob but he is grinning as he tightened his arms around you.

• You both didn’t know how long you were hugging each other before Yuji decided to continue cuddling in the bed, the food and cockroach long forgotten

• Maybe deciding to prank you wasn’t bad at all

Inumaki Toge

• Don’t think he’ll never prank you

• He may look harmless but he’s also a little devil

• So he decided to do this harmless prank on you one day because he feels like teasing you a bit

• Because who is not scared of cockroaches right?

• He just wanted a payback for the thing you did to him the other day

• You put a wasabi paste inside his onigiri

• Because he is so cute and you want to bully hin sometimes

• So one day when you’re both finished training, chilling under the tree, trying to make a bet with him to give you his last candy

• “Come on, it’s just paper rock scissors. It won’t hurt. Please”

• He knows that you’re definitely up to something

• But how could he say no? With how cute you look pouting while begging him

• But he has a goal and he is determined to teach you your lesson today so he agreed

• “Really!? Yey!”

• His lips curved upward a little as he saw how excited you are. But it faltered when you suddenly kissed him in the cheek

• Then he remembered that he should focus and this is just another one of your antics to distract him so you could win

• At first round, he didn’t let you win just to prove that your antics aren’t effective

• On the second round, he let you win so he could do his evil plan

• “I win!”

• “What would you get out of this? Just asking.” he typed on his phone

• “A candy. Plus I get to kiss you as an excuse.”

• “Is that another one of your ways to distract me?”

• “Of course not! I’m telling the truth. And I win. So time for my prize.”

• “Close your eyes and extend your hands forward, palms up.”

• You’re not exactly sure why you have to close your eyes. It’s more like being punished than being rewarded

• He slowly put the fake cockroach to your hands with the candy

• “Salmon”

• Your once full of excitement expression turned into a scared one as you saw not only one but three cockroach sitting on the palm of your hands

• You jumped on your seat, standing up, throwing the cockroaches everywhere

• Toge silently laugh like he was satisfied with your reaction. And he is

• The satisfaction didn’t last when you realized what happened and glared at him

• It lasted for three seconds until you felt your eyes watered and you started sobbing as tears streamed down your face

• He panicked and wiped your face with the sleeves of his uniform

• “Mustard leaf?”

• He ask as he hugs you. And you hugged him back. You’re angry because you didn’t expect him to pull that kind of thing but you think you kinda deserve it

• ���I’m fine. I just didn’t expect you to pull that kind of prank. It’s ok I guess I deserve it.”

• “Salmon”

• You chuckled and hit his arm

• “Shut up.”

• But it didn’t stop you both from pulling pranks on one another. One time when you finished training with Maki and Nobara, you saw him wearing your dress while posing.

• He is a dork. That you are sure of.

Okkotsu Yuta

• When you look at him he seems like the sweetest person on earth

• And he isn’t capable of doing something evil that could hurt someone

• But you’re wrong. You’re totally wrong when he decided to prank you with a fake cockroach

• It was a peaceful day, with a nice weather for training in the field

• But you can’t go because there’s a cockroach inside the pockets of your jogging pants

• It feels pretty stupid if you’ll ask Maki or Nobara to take it out for you, you think

• You’re not sure how it got in there and what is a cockroach doing inside your jogging pants

• It seems pretty cozy in there because it’s not moving

• Dead or not you’re not touching it

• You were starting to panic on how to get it out when someone knocked on the locker room.

• “Y/N? Are you done changing?”

• You ran and opened the door with wide eyes

• “Thank God, it’s you. Can you help me with something?”

• “Sure, what is it? Is there a problem?”

• “Yes. A big one. There’s a... cockroach inside the pocket of my pants. And I can’t change my clothes.”

• “Really? Then I can remove it for you.”

• “Thank you, Yuta! You’re the best.”

• You hugged him first before leading him to where your pants are

• You turned around, not wanting to see the cockroach

• On the other hand, Yuta was trying to suppress his laughter because he was the mastermind of this

• He just wanted to tease you a little because you seem so stress lately and wouldn’t spend a little bit more time on him

• After he got ‘rid’ of the cockroach he came back to you with your pants

• You thank him and quickly got changed

• After getting changed, you both walked to the field where the other students are training

• “I owe you that one, Yuta. Thank you so much”

• “No problem. But you can do me a favor.”

• “Sure. What is it?”

• “Come out with me this weekend. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You need some time for yourself too sometimes. So please?”

• You sighed. You’ve been spending less time with him lately because you want to improve

• “Fine. You’re right. Let’s go out this weekend.”

• You smiled at him and he smiled back at you. He gave your hand a little squeeze.

• “Ok! That’s a plan, no take backs.”

• He might’ve have not noticed but he’s hopping as he walks, and it made you smile even bigger

• But something fell out of his pockets and you were about to pick it up when you noticed that it was a fake cockroach

• You stepped back but the longer you stare at it the more it looks familiar to you

• “Hey, are you ok?”

• “You- it was a fake cockroach? Did you put it in my pants on purpose so you could take me out this weekend?”

• “No! I mean yes, but my intentions aren’t bad! I can explain!”

• He looks like he doesn’t know if he should touch you or not

• “Be honest. It was Gojo sensei who told you to do this, right?”

• “Y-yes... I’m sorry. I just really want to take you out to spend time with you.”

• “I know that. But don’t ever listen to him again ok? You know how he is.”

• You said to him and your voice was soft this time so he thought you weren’t angry now and tried to reach for your hands

• But you hit his nape playfully before he could reach your hand and ran

• “See you this weekend.”

+ the line who I think wouldn’t even dare to prank you and the reason why

Fushiguro Megumi

• You see he is too serious in life to even think of pranking you

• And he doesn’t want to scare you because he’ll gain nothing from it too

• But when you get pranked by the seniors he is ready to rescue you

• He’s ready to tell them to stop but when he sees that it will not offend you or you’re having fun too then he’ll just watch

• He doesn’t notice but he smiles when he watches you and they will tease him instead

• Sometimes you tried pranking him but it was always a fail

• You still do it tho even if he doesn’t give you any reaction because he knows that you’re up to something

• And you just want him to give you head pats when you’re disappointed

• He secretly enjoys it too because he likes to see you enjoying his company and making you happy

Zenin Maki

• Like Megumi, she is pretty serious too

• And I don’t think she’ll even think of pranking you because she’s busy with her priorities and that is not one of them

• But you are one of them tho

• The students wouldn’t even think of pranking you because, hello, your significant other is Maki no one will dare

• But when she’s not around, Panda, Inumaki, and Yuji will prank you in different ways

• They still do it tho even if they end up getting hit in the neck by you

• And it makes Maki smile on how you don’t let others intimidate you

• One time you tried pranking her but you failed and you never dared to try again because she took her revenge when it was training time

• She said that you should lend more time in training than in useless things like that

Kugisaki Nobara

• She wouldn’t even want to look at a cockroach

• She thinks it’s gross and thinks of using her hammer and nails sometimes to kill it but the cockroach probably doesn’t deserve that much effort

• The students sometimes think of pranking you, but they like to prank her

• Probably because she gives more satisfying reactions to pranks

• So you would be the one to comfort her even though you were laughing with them too

• She can’t get angry with you because you look too cute when you laugh and she secretly loves it and the attention you give her

• When they prank you she will come after them instead and beat them up for you

• You think that sometimes she uses it as an excuse because she just like to beat people

[creepytoes88]

Let me spoil you, baby

Y/n’s Pov

Dating Vinnie wasn't what I expected I never was a big social media person but everyone and their uncle has tiktok. Chances are if you have tiktok you have seen Vinnie so needless to say I had a major crush on him. After seeing all the seemingly “Perfect” girls he hung around with. I never thought I had a chance, ya know besides the fact that I was a nobody. However living in LA is never boring and it never disappoints I saw Vinnie's cute ass on melrose, I'm not what you would call a “skinny” girl I have relatively small breast and a pleasantly plump butt as my mother would say. I'm not ashamed of my less then flat stomach either I don't need anyones approveal to be happy with myself. However back when I first met Vinnie that was a different story I was too shy to come up to him and say hello so I just admired him from where I was standing before walking away right passed him and his friends.

I walked into the nearest store and began to look at clothes picking out a pair of nice mom jeans and a vintage Cheech and Chong shirt. I heard the bell attached to the top of the door jingle as I walk to the jewelry part of the store I began to look at the earnings and necklaces. “How’s your day been so far beautiful?” I look up towards the voice ready to tell them to fuck off but I look up to see Vinnie Fucking Hacker. I quickly recover and Smile pulling myself together “I've had a great day! how has your day been?” I smile at him “it was alright but like 10 minutes ago I think I saw the most beautiful woman in my life walk into this store so I had to pray and hope that she didn't leave.” I widen my eyes looking around seeing no one “Did she leave?” Vinnie let out a laugh “No I'm actually talking to her, if you have time I would love to grab coffee or lunch with you, right now, on me of course!”

I drop my mouth a little before looking around for the cameras “um I would love too... My names Y/n by the way, I won't lie to you I know who you are Vinnie.” I say with a sad tone half expecting him to cancel “good now I don't have to explain why people are taking pictures of me” he says as he holds out his hand “are you ready to check out or are you still shopping?” he says with a small smile “Oh yea I'm ready I can always come back anyway” I smiled back at him as I grab his hand and walk towards the cashier setting down my clothes and jewelry she quickly rings then up “That’s gonna be $357.45.” I smile and start to take my card out when suddenly Vinnie hands her 400 hundred dollars I turn to him with my mouth wide “Why did you just do that please get your money back” Vinnie laughed at me grabbing his change and the receipt “you can pay it back to me by going to dinner with me again tomorrow?” I look at him we haven’t even gotten food yet and he’s trying to schedule another date “your not paying for my food this time or next though you just lost those privileges” I say with a sassy attitude grabbing my bag and walking out Vinnie following close behind.

Fast forward to now we never really tried to hide our relationship we just let it grow naturally and didn’t speak on it. Everyone has recently been hating on me jealous girls calling me ugly and fat, at first it didn't even affect me. I know Vinnie love me but in the back of my mind it bothered me it hurt my feelings. I didn't tell Vinnie, I don't want him to feel bad or worry there is nothing anyone can do to make them stop so I just lived with it. It's been 3 weeks since I've been getting hate in my DMs on every platform everyday I wake up and it keeps piling up. I look at them again before clicking my phone off and getting in the shower to release some tension and stress.

Vinnie's Pov

“Alright ill see you guys later!” I yelled at the boys running up to my door step we just got back from the skate park and I was so Gross and sweaty. I open the door and make my way upstairs as I walked into Y/n and I’s room slipping off my shoes and stripping myself of all my sweaty clothing except my boxers I fall flat on the bed. “Ouch” I said as I felt my forehead connect to a hard surface “what the fuck” I said in a soft voice holding my head I look down and see Y/n phone a smirk spreading across my face. I'm gonna tweet weird things off her twitter I think to myself as I open her phone I see her DMS are open and people are saying some pretty nasty things I look at the other social media platforms. I'm shocked and I'm pissed how could they even say such thing about Y/n the sweetest, most humble and beautiful person I have ever met or seen for that matter. I click off the phone and place it on the bed side table hearing the shower turn off quickly I pick up my clothes off the floor and shut the door I watch as my beautiful girlfriend comes out “boo.” I say behind her seeing her jump in the air slightly “fuck baby you scared me” she said turning around kissing my lips before turning and grabbing her lotion. Now usually when Y/n gets out of the shower she drops her towel and puts on lotion before getting dressed this time she picks it up along with her clothes and speeds off to the bathroom quickly shutting the door. “What are you doing sweetie?” I ask softly before tapping on the door “n-nothing...just getting dressed”

I bit my lip slightly “baby this doesn't have to do with what I saw on your phone does it?” no reply so I tried the doorknob and it was locked “baby let me in please” I hear sniffles and shuffling “let me g-get dressed fir-” I growl slightly not even noticing “now princess” I once again her shuffling before the door clicks. Pulling the poor open I rushed in seeing Y/n naked and basically covering herself looking at the ground “oh no baby look at me” I say softly walking over to her “please beautiful” she sniffles before looking at me I see tears are running down her face. I simply kiss them away “please don't hide yourself from me baby” I kiss her cheeks and her forehead “I love you and I care about you I think you're perfect” I say before kissing her lips. Slowly she dropped her arms kissing me back harder I take my hands to her thighs picking her up which we usually don't do she would always complain and get uncomfortable. This time was no different “mmm no vinnie put me down” I kissed her lips squeezing her thighs “i got you I promise baby just to the bed” she finally wraps her legs around me her arms leaving the wall going to my hair. She wasn't even hard to lift let alone carry 20 feet I wish she didn't think and feel this way about her self. I walked her straight to a wall completely skipping the bed.

“I'm gonna show you how beautiful and amazing you are my sweet girl” I began kissing her lips and grinding against her my hard shaft against her bare clit moans spilling out of her mouth immediately. I grab her full breast in my hands playing with her soft nipples as I kiss down her neck whimpers coming from her mouth. My hard cock grinding harder against her as my mouth attacks one of her nipples my hand attacking the other pinching and pulling. Her moans get louder as I switch nipples I leave little hickeys on her boobs and chest making my way up her neck. I could feel her legs gripping onto me and her hips thrusting against mine “oo-ooh shit Vin... I'm gonna cum” she says in a hot breathy tone I kiss her lips pulling one of her knees up onto my shoulder and gasp leaves her mouth letting me enter my tongue I grind faster as I abuse her sweet mouth with my tongue swallowing her moans and pants. Her thighs shaking slightly pulling away I kiss her cheeks grabbing her other leg tossing it over my shoulder so her full body weight was against me and the wall. Her sweet pussy staring me in the face I could smell her and I moaned spreading her legs wider hearing her gasp I smirk “you smell so good baby mind if I have a taste?” she just whines and kicks her legs slightly “mmm I'll take that as a yes baby.”

I say with a smirk dropping my head slightly my nose poking around her clit and my tongue plunged as deep as I could possibly get in moans spilling from my mouth as her taste fills my mouth. Clouds cover my brain all I can think about is making my baby cum. I was making a deep growling sound in my chest and didn't even notice it everytime she tried to pull away from my mouth and nose it got louder almost like a warning to stay still. “Ahh Vinnie baby please” I started to get curious and before I know it I feel my tongue swipe across her pink button and load moan and gasp along with her grinding her hips into my face I assume she likes it. I do it again this time swirling around it making it known I'm doing it on purpose “Vinnie why are you doing that?” she say grinding against me “Do you want me to stop?” I answer her question with a question she throws her head back and moans “noooooo please more!” I pull her from the wall walking to the bed I drop her. Y/n spreads her legs apart looking up at me “butt in the air Princess spread your legs as far as you can get them.”

She flips over her hands and elbows holding her up that's not exactly what I want tho “spread your ass and pussy for me baby” I say with little smirk she lays on her face and knees as her hands pull her butt cheeks apart with a little moan. I look down admiring her sweet little holes staring at me I let out a wolf whistle “damn beautiful....i can't wait to taste you again” I grab ahold of her soft asscheeks in my hands as hers fall to her sides. I lick a thick stripe over her clit all the way to her button slightly entering my tongue before licking around it again “please daddy” I look up at her pushing my thumb in to her greedy pussy “yess daddy more please” I chuckle “what more could you want baby?” she slightly blushes turning her head the other way “mmmm baby Daddy isn't a mind reader if you want something you have to speak up.” I say with a smirk “p-please ea-” she shakes her head and takes a deep breath “please eat me” I chuckle she's so cute “eat what baby?”

I rub her thigh with my other unused hand and kiss her squishy butt cheeks definitely enjoying myself “God I love your bubble butt princess it's amazing If I had my way I would sleep on it, roll on it, and most definitely eat it” I say giving her the ok to ask biting down on her ass “YES YES DADDY EAT MY ASS PLEASE” I laugh before spreading her open and I lay a kiss on her wet hole as a moan leaves her mouth I lick around for a second before slipping my tongue in slightly before pulling out. Her moans and whimpers music to my ears I repeat this a few times till I think she's loose enough to put my tongue fully in “ready my dirty little girl” she moans in response and I slip my tongue fully into her as both my thumbs attack her clit and slit “FUCK DA-ADDY MORE PLEASE” I eat her like crazy shaving my tongue in between both holes as I slap her ass and clit “OOOOH FUCK IM CUMMING” she yells as I feel wetness on my chin and fingers.

I pull away dropping down next to her before turn my head to meet her gaze “sit on my face Princess” I say as I pull her hand she slowly moves over to me with wild eyes I pull her over me before pulling her hips down to meet my face she was completely sitting on my face with all her weight as I dive my tongue in for a third time occasionally slipping it in her butt making her moan and grind against my face “Daddy I'm coming already” she says humping my face with her hands in my hair “MMMMM” she gasps as she cum on my face for the 4 time “fuck princess you ready”

I say as I pull my boxers down she nods as she lays down spreading her legs for me “such a good girl for Daddy” I pick up one of her legs wrapping it around my hip tossing the other over my shoulder before slipping into her. I grunt as her walls squeeze around me I hear her moan “shit daddy your so big” I give a breathy laugh “i think your just tight baby” I say before I thrust into her. Moans leaving both of our mouths as I pound into her I pull out flipping her over and push back in “AH” she groans “you good baby” I say as I thrust softly “ye-YES” I smirk pushing into her as deep as possible “can I put my babies inside of you baby” she gasp and turns her head to look at me “i wouldn't want anyone else to spend my life with and I can't think of ayone I would rather raise my kids with then you baby” she drops her head moaning as she thrust her hips back in to me “flip me back over so I can hold it in Daddy we might not get lucky the first time but it's worth a shot.” Y/n moans grabbing my hand I flip her over putting her legs on my shoulders fucking into her “mmm baby I'm gonna fuck my baby into you honey” I bite and suck at her neck “would you like that?”

She moans and throws her head back moaning “hold it princess please just a little longer” I pant kissing her neck quickly I grab my pillow and shove it under her ass before stuffing my entire length inside of her moaning. Releasing my load deep inside of her before pulling my hips out almost all the way fucking my cum inside of her till I couldn't feel it sloshing around anymore. “Do you wanna cuddle baby” she nods her head I turn her to her side putting her under the cover getting up to turn the light off climbing back in behind her “stay still princess I wanna make sure nothing comes out tonight” she smiles holding out her hand. Knowing she was going to be sensitive I grab it kissing her shoulders and back as I slowly slip my limp cock inside of her before it hardened back up “oo-oh shit Daddy I love your big cock” she says sleepily I pull her close to me kissing her lips “well we love you too” she opens her eyes “ew” she laughs making me laugh too “go to bed brat I love you beautiful” “I love you to handsome I'm very excited to have a mini you running around”

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Don't Forget ^**

This is such an emotional, fluffy, and romantic piece. OBVS in my feelings lol

WC: 3.8K

The week had been long, frustrating, and just complete and utter shit. Y/N was never one to “drown her sorrows” in alcohol, but when she got a last minute invite to go out with some friends she figured it was a sign. That’s how she found herself in a full face, a cute outfit, and some nice heels as she sat in the booth with her equally dressed up friends. They were talking about everything that was up with them and she was just listening. That was until her friend Ed slightly elbowed her.

“Hmmm?” She asked, turning towards him.

“I’m glad you decided to come out with us. S’been a while.” He said and she sighed and shrugged.

“I’ve been busy.” She explained and he looked at her knowingly.

“Okay, let’s call it “busy” since saying you’re the only one who RSVP’d for the self-pity party is not really an excuse that holds up.” He said and she rolled her eyes before huffing out a chuckle. “Really, Y/N. We’ve all been worried sick about how you’ve been, the least you can do is respond to us in a timely manner so we know you’re not rotting in your home.” He called her out and as angry as she wanted to be, he was right. She would say the same thing to any of her friends if they were going through something and had been MIA for a while.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She apologized with a frown.

“It’s okay, love. We love you and care about you, and like I get it if you need space, but just say it. You’re going through a lot, we won’t be upset at you. We just want you to know that you don’t have to do it all alone.” He reminded and she nodded with a soft smile as he wrapped his arms around her.

Here’s the thing, it’s been nearly two months since she and Harry broke up. Their relationship had blossomed from a lovely friendship into an adoration that was unlike anything she had ever known. She believed deep in her heart that he was the man for her. That they would make it through anything. Judging by the way that she loved him, she didn’t think she had ever truly loved anyone before him. It felt that she was experiencing everything for the first time with him and it was the most beautiful thing. She let herself free fall because she had faith that he’d be there to catch her. She truly thought that things were going well, sure he was busy, but he had always been a busy person and she understood that his job was a priority. It was completely unexpected when after a lovely evening at her place he broke up with her because “it wasn’t working”. She had so many questions for him and somehow she hadn’t been able to do anything except watch him walk out the door and out of her life. Naturally, she’d lost a lover and a friend, a good one at that. So things were empty without him and the hurt in her heart was consuming her. She noticed how the pain she felt bled into her work, into her relaxing time, into her dreams even. When you feel shit tons of pain you tend to isolate and she’d been guilty of that, obviously.

With so much on her mind and on her heart, it was only natural that she insist to her friends that she was fine when she’d order yet another drink. Or when she agreed on a shot with two other friends. And soon enough she felt the world spinning when she’d blink her eyes closed for a moment. And that was followed by feeling her smiles and laughter melting down into a large lump in her throat that was getting impossible to swallow down. She missed Harry. He always knew what to say when she felt stressed or frustrated. He was the calm to the storm raging on in her life and she thought that she was the same for him. Apparently she was wrong.

“I need t’go home. M’drunk and sleepy.” Y/N mumbled to her friend.

“Yeah, I agree.” Her friend confirmed, “Do you need me to call you a car or something?”

“No, I already did it, the driver’s outside. S’a girl too.”

“Okay, please text when you arrive.”

“Yeah, f’course. Love you guys!” She said loudly to the others and walked off.

The driver, Sasha, greeted her as soon as she slid into her car. She confirmed the address Y/N was going to before driving off. She could tell Y/N was plastered and so she toned down the conversation and turned up the radio. Just then “Adore You” started playing over the speakers and Y/N’s eyes welled up at the sound of Harry’s voice.

“Sorry, Sasha?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to go somewhere else.” Y/N hiccuped and Sasha nodded. She gave Sasha Harry’s address and confirmed it before she changed her mind. She felt hurt and angry and she held onto the emotions for dear life. She let them fester until hot tears were streaking down her face as they approached his home.

“It’s here?” Sasha asked as she stopped in front of a gate.

“Yes, this’s it. Thank you.” Y/N mumbled before clumsily clambering out of the car and wobbling over to the keypad.

She waved goodbye to the driver who slowly peeled away and left Y/N in the dark. Her finger hovering over the keypad, debating whether this was a good idea or not. “Fuck it.” She whispered to herself as she shivered in the cold and punched in the code to get onto the property. The walk was a little far, she ended up taking off her heels and could faintly feel that she was being hurt by the gravel of the path to the home, but she didn’t care. Everything was dark and she hoped he was home, if not this would all be for nothing. She made her way to the front door and rang the doorbell. When there was no answer she rang it a few more times, he was a heavy sleeper. Soon she saw a light come on in the upstairs hallway and she glanced into the “Ring” camera and waved her hand.

“S’me. Open the fucking door please.” She slurred. After a few more moments she heard the locks clicking and there was Harry, obviously tired, in just his boxers, and slightly shivering from the cold temperature making its way into his home through the opening of the door.

“Y/N,” he said as he took her in, face tear-stained because of her mascara and her feet bare. She was evidently drunk,“What are you-“

“I’ve had the shittiest week n’I just need you t’hold me.” She whimpered quietly as her voice cracked as a fresh wave of tears poured from her eyes.

“Yeah.” He said pulling her inside and closing the door before he wrapped his arms around her. He felt his entire body calm at the familiarity of her body against his, of knowing that no matter what shitty thing was going on, she felt safe with him. But despite his positive feelings, he soon felt her body trembling against his before she gasped as she started sobbing. Her tears were wetting his chest and he just squeezed her a little tighter.

She hoped she would feel better being in his arms, but all it did was make her hurt even more. She could feel the pain pulsing from her heart and down her arms and to her fingertips. She could feel it twisting her insides and making her throat burn as she attempted to hold back any more tears. She loves him so much, she doesn’t know how she could ever get past this. She was glad that he was just letting her cry.

“What happened?” He asked quietly and she started crying harder, “Tell me, baby. You can tell me anything, you know that.” He said softly as he petting at her hair gently.

“Y-you broke my heart and s’just not getting better.” She sobbed and he felt his heart shatter as she fell apart in his arms. All of a sudden she was breaking from his hold, almost as if she realized where she was and just how pathetic this situation was, “I shouldn’t ‘ave come here.” She mumbled before hurrying off and opening up the door and rushing out into the cold. It all happened so fast, but she slipped on the steps up to the house and soon found herself on her hands and knees on the ground, cursing up a storm as she tried to lift herself up. He rushed out despite the cold.

“Y/N!”

“M’fine.” She muttered as she tried to push herself to stand. He hurried to grab her hands and frowned.

“Are you alright?” He asked with concern. She shook off her hands and knees, ignoring the sting from the scrapes.

“M’fine. Sorry for coming here, Harry.” She said stepping around him and heading away.

“Y/N!” He called after her.

“What?”

“You’re not okay.” He said.

“Obviously not. But also, you’re the one who did this to me, so makes no sense to be back here again.” She continued to slur.

“Then why would you come?”

“Because I miss you, Harry! I fucking miss you and I’m drowning in the pain and I just- I wanted to see you.” She sniffled and tears were running down his face now as well, “I thought that maybe seeing you would make me feel better but it just makes me feel hollow and broken and stupid for thinking that you missed me too.” She shouted.

He did miss her. So fucking much. He didn’t break up with her because the love ran out. On the contrary, the love he felt for her was so great that seeing her this way made him feel sick. He ended things with her because he literally has no time for her and he hates that. He hates canceling on her all the time, he hates not being able to talk consistently, he hates not being able to have her around all the time, he hates the idea of pretending she’s not a real person for the sake of his public persona, when in reality the smile he wore everyday was there merely because she existed.

“Why would you think I don’t miss you?” He asked sadly and she scoffed.

“You dumped me, remember? Y'said it wasn’t working.”

“It was a bad decision. I was being stupid.” He shook his head and Y/N glanced at him with anger burning through her veins now.

“You broke up with me because you were “being stupid”?” She asked in disbelief and he sighed sadly.

“Can we go inside and talk about this?”

“You know what? Fuck this, Harry.” She mumbled, realizing what had actually happened. The cold and the anger were clearing her fogged up mind rather quickly.

“What? Why?”

“You couldn’t talk about it when you were feeling how ever you were feeling two months ago and now you can?” She asked with a pained look in her eyes.

“Y/N, you know how I can get-”

“That’s not even a good excuse!” She scoffed, “We’re adults, Harry! Adults who can communicate and explain and argue and hold each other accountable!”

“I just hate the way things are all the time! I can’t talk, I can’t see you, I can hardly go out with you… hate doing that to you!” He said with a grimace and watering eyes and she frowned.

“Look, we talked about that when we decided to get together. Remember? You sat me down, took my hands, and told me that it wouldn’t be easy. Yes or no?” She asked and he nodded, “I know what I signed up for, Harry. Had I complained? Had I done anything to indicate that I was unhappy?” She asked and he shook his head, “Then why would you make that decision for me?” She asked and he shook his head and shrugged.

“I don’t know…” his voice faded into a pained whisper.

“Yes you do. You know more than I would know and quite frankly, I don’t want to be guessing anymore.” She said, “Why did you make that decision for me?” She asked once more and he almost shouted at her.

“Because I’m afraid I’m not enough!” He confessed as he cried, “I’m afraid that I’m not enough for you to stay with me.” In a second she was holding him tight as they cried. Both shivering from the cold, but still wrapped around each other. It was his turn to cry over facing a fear he had, a fear he’s had forever. He knew what it was, but never wanted to confront it.

“Hey, s’alright.” She whispered against his chest, “Let’s go inside.”

“So now you want to go inside…” he sniffled and she giggled a bit.

“We can’t have you getting a cold, C’mon.” She said pulling him back inside. They settled down on the couch where she wrapped him and then herself in the throws he had folded over a rack against the wall of the living room.

“M’sorry.” He apologized quietly and she took his hand, making him look up at her, their eyes meeting.

“I forgive you.” She assured and he glanced down from her and to their connected hand, tightening his hold on her.

“I don’t deserve you.” He said softly.

“Don’t say that. Y’know it’s not true.” She said and he sighed.

“Feels like that sometimes.” He said, looking into her eyes again.

“Sometimes our feelings can lie to us.” She said quietly, “And sometimes when we aren’t feeling 100% secure in ourselves we believe them, but that’s human, H. That can happen sometimes… you are the most logical man sometimes and then other times you just… become blind to reason.” She giggled a bit and he did the same, “But I fucking love you. Every part of you.” She stated firmly, “Even the parts that don’t make sense to me yet.” She expressed, holding his face now with her other hand and he leaned into her touch.

“I love you too, Y/N. With my whole heart.” He assured in a small voice as their foreheads connected. Their eyes were closed and they were breathing each other’s air, basking in the intimacy of the exchange they’d just had.

“Can I kiss you?” She asked.

“Are you still drunk?” He asked and she huffed on a chuckle.

“Kind of.”

“I just don’t want you to regret it in the morning.” He said and she shook her head.

“Could never regret anything that happens between us.”

“Even me breaking up with you?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No, because that lead to this moment and now I know what you’re afraid of. And that taught me that I need to reassure you that I am happy with you and that I want to move forward with you.” She explained.

“Are you sure you’re still drunk? You’re being really wise.” He observed and they both giggled a bit.

“I’ve gotten wiser. I’ve done a lot of self-reflection the last two months.” She said and he smiled, “But despite that the room does feel like it’s moving a bit and my hands and knees don’t hurt as much as they should from falling down your stairs…” she said and he chuckled.

“How about we get you cleaned up?” He asked.

“I think I could use a shower actually. Do you still have my bathrobe?”

“Yeah, s’still in the bathroom.” He said and she smiled.

*********

The shower not only served for her to disinfect her superficial wounds, but it helped her sober up a bit and reflect on the conversation she’d just had with Harry. Where did they stand now? What did this mean for their relationship? When she emerged from the steams glass walls she wrapped herself in the robe and smiled when she saw a shirt and some boxers on the counter for her. She got all ready for bed and was more than happy that he had kept her toothbrush, that had to mean there was hope for them, right? She was just drying off the bristles when she heard a tap on the door and she hurried to open it up.

“Yeah?”

“I made up the guest room for you in case you wanted to stay there.” He said and she bit on her lip for a moment.

“D-do you want me to stay in the guest room?” She asked him.

“No, but you can if you want to.” He said as he reached for her hands and she let their fingers intertwine.

“I don’t want to.” She confirmed and he smiled.

“Do you still feel drunk?” He asked and she shook her head, “Good.” He said, moving to pull her close by her face and planting his lips onto hers. Their kiss was soft and hungry. It was getting more intense as the seconds passed. The need to prove to her that he loved her was at the forefront of his mind.

In moments he was laying her against his bed, keeping their bodies close since she was a little cold from just getting out of the shower. It was like a breath of fresh air when they slipped off her bathrobe and her naked body pressed against his. The intention of his actions against her warm and soft skin were very clear. He was being so gentle and purposeful with the way his lips roamed down her throat and breasts. He lived for the way she’d moan out against the ceiling and dig her nails into his shoulders as he sucked and nibbled at the hardened peaks of her nipples. And his mouth watered when he was sponging sloppy, wet kisses down her navel, making his way to the most delicious part of her.

“Oh my god!” She gasped as he ate her little cunt to the best of his abilities. Knowing that he was the one bringing her this pleasure was the most satisfying thing of all. Knowing that despite his many flaws and mistakes, she wanted to be there with him. She chose to share her body with him. She chose to love him. He didn’t let up as his fingers sunk into her and pumped her at a steady pace as his tongue worked over her swollen little bud, “I’m so close!” She whined and he worked harder until her thighs were attempting to squeeze his head and trembling around him.

“Fuck… missed making you come for me.” He panted as he kissed his way back up her body. She sought out his mouth desperately. They kissed eagerly and passionately, technique was the last thing they were thinking about as they tried to get close.

“I want you. I want you so bad.” She moaned against his lips.

“I want you too.” He assured, already rutting against her center.

Overall, this night felt perfect as their lips met once more in a deep and sensual kiss as his length prodded against her entrance. She whimpered as he gently fit himself inside of her, both of them heating up the minimal space between their faces with their long exhales and sounds of pleasure as he settled deep inside. He hadn’t moved, but feeling him this way again was sending her mind into a loopy mess. And when he finally did move back she braced herself for the sharp thrust of his hips against her own. It’s like every thrust had both of their worlds collapsing in on each others’.

He knew very well that he was making love to her in a way he never had before. The way her body felt beneath his and around his stirred a feeling in him that no words could ever describe. It was a feeling of warmth and acceptance and care that he had never felt before. His whole heart was there with her and her pleasure was his pleasure. Watching her, hearing her reactions to how he was making her his once again was something he would want to relive forever. He was overwhelmed and pressed their lips together in a fiery kiss. He swallowed down her moans and felt them echo in his own chest as his thrusts became harder and more precise, really giving it to her in that spot deep inside that would surely cause her to unravel for him.

“Harry…” she panted, holding him just a bit tighter as her walls squeezed around his cock.

“I love you.” He exhaled against her mouth, “Love you so much.” He whispered, feeling his eyes start to prickle with tears for some reason. As much as he wanted to hold them back, this felt far too incredible and far too intimate to ward them off. He was set on showing her that she indeed was everything to him. He was more than relieved to know it wasn’t just him as he tasted the saltiness from her own tears as their lips met over and over, “Come for me, baby.” He groaned. She moaned softly as he thrust into her faster until her legs squeezed around his hips so tight he could feel them trembling.

“Oh my god!” She choked out as she came undone. Feeling her body reacting to his own was what pushed him over the edge. His thrusts grew sloppy and uncalculated before he drew himself out of her quickly and spilled against her folds with a drawn out moan and eyes shut so tight that upon opening them he saw little colorful spots. In a second their lips were meeting again delicately in a series of kisses until they were just panting against each other’s mouths, trying to catch their breaths.

After another few moments of lazing around he got her cleaned up and in one of his t-shirts before they were cuddled together. Her leg was draped over his own and her head was to his chest as her fingers tickled at his bare chest and well, he just held her as close to him as possible, more than sure that this was her rightful place. This caused him to plant a kiss at the top of her head and she smiled.

“Babe,” she said softly and he hummed in response. Soon she was facing him, eyes on his, taking in his face, making sure he was really listening to her, “Please, don’t forget.” she sniffled.

“Don’t forget what, baby?” He asked sitting up and hugging her body into his. She drew back until they were forehead to forehead.

“Don’t forget how much I love you. Because I promise you it’s with the entirety of my heart and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to show you.” She said softly and he just kissed her with all the passion he felt for her. Their lips parted with a soft sound and he shook his head.

“I won’t. I promise.”

[sophsicle]

Hello, hello! Let me just start off by saying that I love Choices to bits. I’ve reread it at least three times in the past two weeks since I’ve discovered it, and I’ve been recommending it non-stop to anyone who would listen. It’s truly one of the best pieces of fan fiction I have ever had the pleasure of reading, so thank you for that. I have a few songs by Sleeping At Last that remind me of some themes/characters in the story, so I thought I might share them with you and see what you think.

‘Eight’ reminds me of Regulus with lyrics like: “I can't let you see all that I have to lose and all I've lost in the fight to protect it. I can't let you in, I swore never again, I can't afford to let myself be blindsided” and also “I was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up and suddenly it fit.” Need I say more?

‘Two’ reminds me of James because it talks about someone who loves others at the cost of themselves. The lyrics that hit the hardest are: “I know exactly how the rule goes: put my mask on first. No, I don't want to talk about myself, tell me where it hurts. I just want to build you up, build you up, till you're good as new. And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too” and also “You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat.”

‘Neptune’ makes me think of Sirius and his struggle to be better, kinder, more vulnerable, especially with Remus. I love how you wrote him to be an innately good person, but not a saint, as I think that would’ve been unrealistic considering the kind of environment he grew up in. Some lyrics in this song that I feel really apply to him are: “I wanna love you but I don’t know how” and “You let me set sail with cheap wood, so I patched up every leak that I could, till the blame grew too heavy” and also “Stitch by stitch I tear apart, if brokenness is a form of art, then I must be a poster child prodigy.”

And finally, the song ‘Mars’ just fits with the war aspect of the story. Meaning, when the students graduated from school to battles, and the order. For example: “We were so full of life, we could barely hold it in. We were amateurs at war, and strangers to suffering.”

Anyways, this got a little longer than I had thought it would be. Please don’t feel any pressure to reply if you’re too busy, I just really admire your work and wanted to share this with you. Thanks again! <3

Hello lovely! Thank you so much! I love this song breakdown. I especially agree with "Two" for James and "Neptune" for Sirius, like 100% think those songs fit those characters in this fic. I also think "Atlas: Touch" feels like Regulus ot me, especially at the part of the story we're at right now.

When will I feel this As vivid as it truly is? Fall in love in a single touch And fall apart when it hurts too much and also Invisible machinery These moving parts inside of me Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time Leaving only rust behind Something about that numbness and the feeling of being on a precipice, where if something doesn't change we might never be able to undo the damage, just really feels like him in these last chapters.

[skyeventide]

hi, if you are planning on writing the embalmed M.E. post, I'd be extremely interested! amazing topic

oh man okay I'll try to put it together. I'm gonna stick mostly to one single text for this one because, as a topic, memory-embalming is really large and I think you can construct a lot on like, solely the concept of memory and fading and preservation in the legendarium. and I’m not gonna try that lol

the quote where Tolkien uses the "embalming" word is letter 131. I should preface this by saying that more often than not I take great issue with the way jirt talks about his theology-adjacent Goodness and Good Choices, and I think it's pr... pro... pronghhh I don't wanna write that word lmao, please take it as me intending "it has non-straightforward issues that are worth a second look", not as anything else. it’s problematic, there I put it down lol academic gremlin brain won, for anyone who doesn’t wholly align with him philosophically. so I suppose anyone who generally agrees with jirt's own reckons will disagree with my takeaway here, but so are things. anyway, I'll try to explain why I called it a value judgement.

screenshots first:

I know this is a lot of text, but it's needed. so there's kind of a lot to unpack there but to strip it down to the relevant basics:

part of the reason why some of the exiles do not return is that they don't want to return as exiles, but remain where they have power and stand at the top of the hierarchy (this to me feels like, specifically, a very Galadriel motive — but that's yet another post lmao); they also want peace and bliss, and that is another motive, the same peace and bliss that exist in Valinor (and while the first motive I list, I believe, is directly consequential to the status of the first age's survivors, this second motive, having the peace and bliss of Valinor outside of Valinor, has been present and thematic since the speech of Feanor to the Noldor, and likely before that); they can't therefore abide the "fading" of the land, the way it changes with time, and endeavour to preserve it — embalm it (this becomes emblematic in one of the various versions of the creation of the Elessar, or one of the them: a stone that, if someone looks through it, shows things as they would be when healed, whole, and beautiful. in one of said versions, Celebrimbor gives this stone to Galadriel, who is saddened by the change of time. this is Celebrimbor of Gondolin, or perhaps Telerin Celebrimbor, but no matter the origin, the theme persists)(second parenthesis to point out how third-age Lothlórien, preserved by Nenya, is in all effects a land out of time, where ancient things aren't simply echoed but continue living, and where trees literally don't die. leaves change colour during autumn and winter, then fall down in spring when immediately new buds start growing); fourth motive is the healing of the land's hurts and its adornment.

the difference between healing the land and “embalming” it, I suppose, is the acceptance of its change under the sun, so the acceptance of time's passing, while healing and adorning it work in unison with said passing. of course the matter here is, the absence of decay is kind of Valinor’s whole thing. but we know, both from letter 156 and the Akallabêth, that Valinor isn’t inherently a blessed land and it doesn’t give immortality by virtue of being Valinor. in fact: “'for it is not the land of Manwe that makes its people deathless, but the Deathless that dwell therein have hallowed the land; and there you would but wither and grow weary the sooner, as moths in a light too strong and steadfast.” and letter 156: “for as emissaries from the Valar clearly inform him, the Blessed Realm does not confer immortality. The land is blessed because the Blessed live there, not vice versa, and the Valar are immortal by right and nature [...]”

so, really, it’s not the where that counts. jirt, I believe, makes it pretty obvious that it’s the why and how, and through whose counsel. what I think is identified here as the fault isn’t that preservation of the land isn’t possible and therefore should not be attempted (clearly it is), rather it’s the wish to create a paradise of their own, a desire that Sauron identifies and exploits. now, obviously I’m not trying to argue that Sauron is right or anything the like (even at early stages, and despite the partial overlap of motives, Sauron’s goals can’t really be called good, even though you might argue that they gain some form of internal conflict), or that in pursuit of a challenge to the divine harm becomes justifiable — this isn’t really about characters and more about jirt the man himself and his production. 

I just generally take issue with the idea that wanting a heaven of sorts, made with your own skills, which is within the realm of possibility, and by no one’s leave but your own, is inherently a bad thing, or that it must come with harm and corruption, and compromised motives. but in the narrative of these books, from an outside-of-text perspective, it doesn’t seem to be possible to issue the challenge that letter 131 talks about without also giving aid to evil (Sauron, earlier Morgoth) willingly ot unwillingly, without getting closer to “magic” and “machinery”, without it being written and interpreted under a lens of “embalming”, of refusal to let the world live its course. it isn’t possible to have that cake and eat it (yeah jirt kind of wrote that saying wrong lmao), which is identified as a corruptible weak point. 

it isn’t possible because this discontent, or this wish for independence, is in itself a seed that the story connects to evil and lies (Morgoth’s work in Valinor, and possibly earlier than that his discord); because it’s inherently linked to wanting the top-of-the-hierarchy authority granted by Middle Earth. and because the legendarium doesn’t truly leave room for any gods-challenging story that isn’t some form of taint and mistake, a Fall™ (challenges to Morgoth here don’t count, he is the fall; this is about Eru and the Valar).

(I think here it’s relevant to note that the elves not being in ME is elsewhere called out as a loss for Men, who do not have the “elder siblings” at hand who were supposed to teach them and guide them; as well as the fact that Eru in morgoth’s ring mentions, himself, that the elves have been “removed to Aman from the Middle Earth in which I set them”. so it’s not necessarily so straightforward in all aspects — but I think a discussion on that would be going a little too much beyond the scope of this tbh)

I believe my point is exemplified by a note in this same letter:

“preservation in reverent memory” here is not negatively judged, despite being effectively an antiquarian lore memorial to (”good”) tradition. Elrond also rebukes Sauron, and is not at all subjected to the same Ring-related test as Galadriel in LotR. and I think this is sort of the narrative point of the story, part of the greater (in good measure theological) thesis underlying it. and why I called it a value judgement. 

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

[imnotusedtobeingloved]

HAPPY IS HER

Warnings: Unrequited love.

Pairing: Zuko x Mai x f!Reader

Characters: Zuko, Mai, Uncle Iroh, Azula, Ty Lee, Ursa, Avatar Aang (mentioned)

Requested: No.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the gif. Credit to the owners.

Summary: You remember the time that lead up to Zuko's coronation.

A/N: I feel like Mai is often villainized in some fics? Which definetely works in some cases, but in this one i just wanted to do something nice for her as well. So yes, you get to actually be Mai’s friend in this shot. She’s a queen. Hope you like it!

Zuko had a beautiful face.

It was something that you'd discovered in your childhood, and it still caught your eye now that you were an adult. Maybe even more so.

Growing up next to him, Azula, Mai and Ty Lee enabled you to see how much he'd grown. You remembered running around in the gardens and training in the palace grounds, playing all those silly games with them. Being the daughter of a Fire Nation General enabled you to spend a lot of time with the prince and princess.

“Mom, can you make Zuko play with us? We need equal teams to play a game,” Azula explained, running up to the Fire Lady and her brother while you, Mai and Ty Lee watched. “I’m not cartwheeling!” Zuko declined. “You won’t have to. Cartwheeling is not a game, dumb-dumb,” the princess crossed her arms, but he shot right back. “I don’t care! I don’t want to play with you,” Azula payed him no mind, instead persuading her mother. “We are brother and sister. It’s important for us to spend time together. Don’t you think so, mom?” her big golden eyes, a common trait of the Royal Family, looked at Ursa expectantly. “Yes, darling, i think it’s a good idea to play with your sister. Go on, now! Just... for a little while,” she gave in, strolling on without the prince. He didn’t seem particularily enthusiastic but he stepped up next to you, causing a blush to rise on your face. Luckily, nobody seemed to notice.

“Here’s the way it goes,” his sister said, plucking an apple from a tree. “Now what you do is, try to knock the apple off the other persons head. Like this,” After placing the fruit on Mai’s head, Azula proceeded to take a few steps back, standing between Ty Lee and Zuko. “Zula, are you sure this is a good idea?” You asked, unsure about the game. “Of course it is, silly. It’s going to be fun!” Mai didn’t look to pleased with her task, tough she stood still in front of the fountain, balancing the apple. But it didn’t stay that way for long. Azula produced a flame, using two fingers to coordinate it towards her target. The leaves of the fruit atop Mai’s head were aflame in a second. She screamed, causing Zuko to run forward and pushing her into the water-fountain, resulting in both of them landing in the water. Azula cackled, placing a hand on your shoulder. “See? I told you it would work!” Ty Lee nodded and pointed a fiinger in their direction. “Awww, they’re so cute together!” A flicker of jealousy rose in your chest, but you pushed it down quickly. Zuko didn’t respond, he only stood up and walked away, huffing. Mai wasn’t in a good mood either. “You three are such... ugh!” she didn’t really finish her scentense, but anyone could see how upset she was. “Come on, let’s get you out of here,” You said, reaching out. She took your hand reluctantly and once she stood on solid ground, Azula and Ty Lee dragged her with them to find some dry clothes. You, on the other hand, were already running after the prince. “Zuko, wait!”

Many memories of Zuko were forever branded into your mind. Even then you'd stolen glances at him whenever you felt unobserved. But that was before he participated in an Agni Kai against his father.

You’d turned your face away when it happened. Zuko lost, his screams echoing through the halls, even when he finally got to the healers. Since then a glaring red burn mark graced the skin around his eye. A reminder that would last for life. And that wasn’t even the worst part of it. He was banished. Burdened with the hopeless conquest to find and capture the Avatar. You’d cried as you hugged him goodbye, almost certain you’d never see him again. 

"Do you really have to go?” you mumbled into his shoulder, staining it with your tears. The embrace was rough. He recoiled in a matter of seconds, pushing you an arms-length away. It wasn’t the loving touch you were used to. “Yes, i have to. I need to restore my honor, (Y/N),” he said, his tone devoid of any emotion but anger. “But Zuko-,” he interrupted you. “No!” fire was blazing in his eyes. You’d never had his anger directed at you before, and now that you did, it shocked you into silence. “Just leave me alone,” he said, turned around, and walked away. You stood there, rigid, until General Iroh moved to your side. “Please don’t take it personally, (Y/N),” he folded his hands in front of his stomach, looking after his nephew, who was stomping onto the deck of his ship. “He is very desperate right now,” You nodded shortly. “I know,” A sigh left your lips. “That’s why it hurts even more,”

There was nothing. Nothing you could help with. You were losing your best friend and the only thing you could do was watch. Years went by without word or sight of either Zuko or Iroh and not a day went by without remembering them. The prince may be banned from the Nation, but he couldn’t be banned from your heart.

Needless to say you were ecstatic when he returned. You all seemed to be. In the few days spend on Ember Island you all discovered something about yourselves, and each other. You, for example, discovered that you were still very much in love with Zuko. Being with him, talking to him, laughing with him... it all seemed so easy that it ripped your heart apart to see him with Mai. But nevertheless you were more shocked than relieved when she ended things with him.

“Zuko?” you’d followed him after he stormed out of Chan’s house, finally finding him on the steps of their old residence on Ember Island. “What happened?” You sat down next to him. A few moments passed in silence, with both of you lost in thoughts. He didn’t look at you, but eventually he started to speak. “Mai ended things between us,” “Oh...” you weren’t sure what to say... but maybe pretty words weren’t needed for once. Zuko looked stricking under the moonlight, almost unreal. It was a sight so pure that you were reconsidering the idea in your head, but eventually you just followed your heart. “Come here,” He furrowed his brows. “What?” You sighed. He was still angry. After all those years he hadn’t learned to let go. “You need a hug. Come here,” And this time he did. He felt warm, just like he did back when you were kids. Maybe not everything had changed completely, you thought. Maybe things truly could turn out okay.

So when he left once again, for the Avatar, you had to make a choice. With Mai and Ty Lee by your side you eventually stood against Azula, helping Team Avatar to escape the Boiling Rock.

“You should’ve feared me more!” Azula roared in anger at your betrayal. You and Mai had known the consequences of restraining the quards and helping Zuko to escape. And yet you did it. Both of your wirsts were behind your back, bound with a rope, making it almost impossible to defend yourself. But honestly? In this state you would have no chance against Azula. Not even with Mai by your side. The only thing that kept you sane in that moment, was knowing that Zuko had made it out alive and safe. The princess made her move, bringing her fingers together to produce her flames, but it never came to that. Ty Lee blocked her chi faster than anybody could realize what was happening. Azula grunted and gasped as she fell to the floor of the plattform. “Come on! Let’s get out of here!” Ty Lee ran over to try and pull you and Mai away, but the guards surrounded you before you could attempt anything more. “You’re all fools,” Azula growled, still laying on the ground, until the men picked her up. “What shall we do with them, princess?” her face was disorted with rage. “Put them somewhere i’ll never have to see their face again!”

And now that Sozin's Comet was over, Zuko became the Firelord.

He looked like a true leader in the traditional robes, laced with red and gold. A proud expression graced his face, as you looked up at him. His smile genuine and happy. He'd become a wonderful man fit to rule the Nation. Grown more mature with his experiences, something that showed in the look on his face and his posture. And in that moment you were sure. Zuko had never been more beautiful than in this very moment. His amber eyes shined in the sun, glimmering full of love as he looked at Mai.

Deep down you'd always known that the two of you weren't meant to be. You'd known when you were little, playing by the water fountain, the two of them blushing whenever Azula teased them. Or when he was back, leaving the palace in the evening, going out to see her. And you'd known when Mai recieved a goodbye letter, before he joined Aang. Because you didn't.

Now you were stuck in the crowd, applauding the new Fire Lord. Watching as he was joined by the Avatar and pulled Mai into a hug. As the tears welled in your eyes, you felt a hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly. "You're not to blame, (Y/N)," Uncle Iroh's calming voice soothed your nerves, as it did so often before. "The heart wants what it wants,"

You nodded, throat burning from the bottled up emotions. “You’re probably right,” Like he always was. “Happy is her. It was never me,”

You, daughter of a former general, should now become advisor to the Fire Lord. But honestly? You couldn't. And you couldn't bare to tell him. Watching him with Mai filled you with joy. So much joy. And pain. Your two closest friends had found each other to form a beautiful bond. Who were you to take it from them?

So this time, again, Mai was the only one to recieve a letter. It sat on your pillow, were she'd certainly find it. The both of you had formed a habit when you were young, often sneaking into each others bedrooms once it was late, talking about every thought that clouded your minds. Everything but the fact that you were in love with her boyfriend.

Dear Mai,

I want to say that I’m sorry. I need to. By the time you’re reading this letter, i am gone. And i want you to know why.

First of all i want to apologize that you and Zuko will have to look for another advisor who will stand in my place, for i am not coming back. Please don’t search for me, or try to reach me. This is the path i have chosen for myself.

I don’t want to blame you for my disappearance, and yet i have to tell you why i had to leave. I am in love with Zuko. I have been since we were kids. Nobody ever noticed. And i never said anything, because i didn’t want to hurt you. I love you, Mai. I love the both of you so much, it hurts. And i can’t deny the fact that i would’ve liked to be where you are right now. But i know that you love him. And you make him happy. I can live with that. Though seeing you two together every day is something my heart can’t seem to bear anymore. I’m cursed to love someone i cannot have. I don’t want to have. Because i see how joyful you are, now that the two of you can finally be together. I don’t want to be the person to destroy that bond in my jealousy.

In conclusion i thought it would be best to remove myself from the situation. And from the position offered.

I’m going to miss you so much, you have no idea. I want you to know it’s not your fault. And that i am always with you in mind and heart. Nothing i have ever done was harder than writing this letter. No fight was ever more brutal than leaving you, my friend. I wish you all the best. And i love you.

Your best friend,

(Y/N)

You’d asked yourself often... why him? Out of all people, why did it have to be him? But if you had to be genuine with yourself, you knew exactly why. Zuko was someone who had to face a lot of trauma to be who he was now. To be who you loved. His strength, his humor, the way he rubbed his neck when he was embarrassed or the dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. You could name countless reasons why you loved him. But you also knew all the reasons why you shouldn’t. And Mai. The stunning, silent, wonderful Mai. She deserved everything and more. And spirits, you wished them all the best in this world.

"Thank you, Iroh," you whispered blinking back the tears, before you turned around and went. You left behind your best friends, the Fire Lord, your Nation. All was lost as you your back faced the crowd, climbing into the next carriage. It was finally over. Once and for all.

[cassianstattoo]

HAPPY ACOSF RELEASE DAY!

(ACOSF SPOILERS AHEAD) ARE YOU EXCITED?

I personally am. It’s time for Nesta’s story (and not just hers) to be told. So, this leads to another thing I think (and hope) you’ve been waiting for.

LET’S EXPLAIN THE PLAYLIST! (Read every song’s meaning while or after reading the book) And thank you for all your love and support.

“Alone” by Melancholia: It describes the Cauldron scene at the beginning of the book. In this song you can feel the rage and how hard she’s struggling. This song is not about weakness. It’s about her strength.

“Impossible” by James Arthur: Chapter 1. Even if it’s not so clear in this chapter, I think this song represents how Cassian feels when Nesta’s around. He feels worthless and not so different from the other men she beds (as he thought in ACOFAS). He lost his hope of an happy future with the woman he loves and he feels like he’s breaking that last promise she made her. Everything just seems so impossible.

“Sister” by The Black Keys: Chapter 2. This just makes me think of Feyre and Nesta’s fight. It’s from Feyre’s pov.

“New House” by Toro y Moi: “I want a brand new house Something I can not buy, something I can afford I just want a long shower I been feeling so crowded” Chapter 3. It’s about Nesta settling down in the House of Wind. It’s not the place she feels she can call “home”. First of all, it’s not really hers. The last two sentences of this verse are about her breathing and trying to calm herself at the end of the chapter. She’s just tired.

“My Mother & I” by Lucy Dacus: Chapter 4. The whole song is about Nesta and the relationship with her mother when she was a child. I think there’s nothing else to say. Also, in the 1st Chapter it says that she’s born in spring, so the song talks about a girl who was born in May. It all fits.

“Teacher’s Pet” by Melanie Martinez”: “Teacher’s pet If I’m so special, why am I secret? Yeah, why the fuck is that? Do you regret The things we shared that I’ll never forget? Well, do you? Tell me that I know I’m young, but my mind is well beyond my years I knew this wouldn’t last, but fuck you, don’t you leave me here” Chapter 5 and 6. Nesta and Cassian’s first day of training together. She basically doesn’t want to act like she’s his pet and she’s got to do whatever he want just to respect her sister’s will.

“Dangerous Man” by Valley Of Wolves: “They say I’m a wanted man Holding line and break the fire I’m setting all the captives free But I’m hanging by a wire” Chapter 7. It’s about Eris and his double-cross. That’s how probably Cassian pictures Eris in his mind tbh.

“Control” by Halsey: Chapter 8. Nesta facing the stairs. It can be linked to other chapters too because if you take this song as a whole and not just a few verses, it really contains A LOT of things. For example, the line “The House was awake”. Also Chapter 9, when people start calling their children. You can find this moment in the song when it says “All the kids cried out ‘please stop, you’re scaring me”.

“Bookstore Girl” by Charlie Burg: Chapter 9. The bookstore girl is Gwyn and Nesta tries to know more about her.

“Wrong Direction” by Hailee Steinfeld: “I don’t hate you” Chapter 12. This song is about the chapter’s ending.

“You’ve Got a Friend In Me” by Cavetown: Chapter 13. Nesta and Gwyn’s interaction. Also, Nesta helping her.

“like that” by Bea Miller: Chapter 16. Nesta and Cassian’s tension is hilarious, but this song makes me thing about this scene so much.

“Queen” by Shawn Mendes: Chapter 17. Elain fighting with Nesta. This lyrics is so powerful. The first part is Elain talking to Nesta. The second part is Nesta talking to Elain.

“You’ll Follow Me Down” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 17. Same scene. This is totally Nesta. She’s so scared of herself and of the world that surrounds her. She’s afraid to lose her sister in this world she still knows nothing about if not violence. She wants Elain by her side, even if it means dragging her down with her.

“Teeth” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapters 18/19. I like to call it “THE chapter”. Do you need me to explain why I chose this song? Um, I don’t think so. You know it.

“Only You” by Ellie Goulding: “Baby I’m on my knees” Chapter 22. He’s... returning the favor.

“Revolution” by Diplo, Faustix, Imanos, Kai: Chapter 24. Our girl Nesta knows what she’s doing. What she’s starting.

“Best Friend for Hire” by Anthony Amorim: Chapter 25. The whole song is about Nesta and Emerie’s interaction. Everytime I listen to it I can’t help but cry.

“Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue)” by Hozier: Chapter 26.  Nesta’s worried about Cassian and gives him relief.

“Rise Up” by Andra Day: Chapters 27/28. These three girls are going to rise up, bitches.

“Nina Cried Power” by Hozier, Mavie Staples: Chapter 29. This song is really powerful, just like Nesta. She always is, but in this chapter we learn HOW MUCH.

“Fix Me Now” by Garbage: “Bring me back to life (fix me now) Kiss me blind” Chapter 31. THAT scene. HE HEATED UP THE WHOLE ROOM Y’ALL. Cassian literally kissed her back to life.

“Ready or Not” by Fugees: Chapters 34/35/36. I can’t choose only one quote from this song. But can you hear its vibes? Nesta’s leading a dead army. This is THE power. 

“PILLOWTALK” by ZAYN: Chapter 37. *wink* This song says everything.

“Go Fuck Yourself” by Two Feet: Always chapter 37. I couldn’t choose just one song, you know. Also, lowkey Chapter 38.

“Never Again” by Breaking Benjamin: “Never again, never again Time will ot take the life from me” Chapter 38′s ending. All I can say is: NEVER AGAIN.

“Boy In The Bubble” by Alec Benjamin: Not linked to just one chapter. It makes me thing of Azriel a lot.

“Past Lives” by BØRNS: “I've got the strangest feeling This isn't our first time around Past lives couldn't ever come between us Some time the dreamers finally wake up Don't wake me I'm not dreaming“ Chapter 39. Gwyn and Azriel. Well, these lines are about them, but I think the rest of the song represents Elain and Azriel, too. I don’t know if you feel the same.

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day: THIS IS AZRIEL’S SONG. YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

“Watch Me While I Bloom” by Hayley Williams: Chapter 41. Nesta teaching Cassian how to treat a woman. She’s got big dick energy ayeee

“R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys: Still chapter 41. Cassian taking control of the situation. This song just screams “dominant” lmao.

“Walls Could Talk” by Halsey: So Halsey once said “The House was awake” (Control). What if those Walls Could Talk? Like, poor thing. It could have a mental breakdown. This song is dedicated to the House of Wind ‘cause it needs respect. It’s alive. Just imagine how’d you feel watching non-stop those two fucking and fighting. Also Azriel, you’re loved.

“Despicable” by grandson: “If I were you I wouldn’t love me neither” Chapter 43. Tamlin deserves a song, too.

“Part Of Me” by Katy Perry: Chapters 45/46. It’s all SO chaotic. This song means a lot of things. They all lied to her, but this song is particularly about Nesta and Amren’s fight. In my opinion, she did the right think telling Feyre the truth ‘cause she deserved to know, but it just wasn’t the right time and space.

“Don’t Give Up On Me” by Andy Grammer: Chapter 47. Cassian’s going to take care of Nesta. She made a mistake but she knows here better than anyone. He won’t give up on her.

“There You Are” by ZAYN: Chapter 50. Cassian comforts Nesta when she finally explodes. He’s there for her with open arms.

“You Found Me” by The Fray: Still Chapter 50. This chapter was so hard to read and this is another song that can describe it best.

“Locked Out Of Heaven” by Bruno Mars: Chapter 51. Illyrian bat boys just love flat objects. I see.

“Thin White Lies” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 51. Yeah, still thinking about that desk.

“Chosen Family” by Rina Sawayama: Still Chapter 51. This song is wholly dedicated to Nesta’s new found family. Not only Gwyn and Emerie, but also Cassian.

“Library Magic” by The Head And The Heart: Chapter 52. Listen to this song and read the scene at the beginning of the chapter.

“Battle Cry” by Imagine Dragons: Chapter 54. I know it’s weird but I feel this song talks about Lanthys and Nesta’s fight.

“Hurt” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 55. Nesta takes Cassian to the place she lived with her family in the mortal lands. It’s dirty and broken now but it’s still there. Nes talks about her father and realizes how much he’s done for her and her sisters.

“Story Of Another Us” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 56. I know this sounds like a sad song but to me it represents Gwyn’s present. The story of their past (of another “them”) and also their present.

“Drama Club” by Melanie Martinez: Chapter 57. Eris vibes, y’all. I know you can feel them. Everytime I listen to this song I can’t help but thinking of him. So the only thing I can tell you is: listen carefully.

“Genius” by Sia, Diplo, Labrinth: Chapter 57. Hear this song. It just makes me think of a ballroom where two people try to talk to other people and they’re avoiding to make eye contact. And they fail (yeah, those people are Cassian and Nesta btw)

“Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish: Chapter 57. Still about Eris, but also Cassian. They can’t stand each other. So imagine the astronomical energy (inside of this bus lmfao) when Nesta comes in between.

“All About Us” by He Is We, Owl City: Chapter 57. Nessian dancing.

“Rock Bottom” by Hailee Steinfeld ft. DNCE: Chapter 58. This song is SO accurate. This is the moment I realized “That’s it. I think I can die happy now” and then I started crying. Nesta just thinking she’s not enough and she deserves to be with someone as ugly as she thinks she is. Cassian is like “shut the hell up, woman” and yeah. That’s the kind of energy and conversation I was waiting for.

“Stop Crying Your Heart Out” by Oasis: Chapter 58. Their life becomes brighter. They have to stop crying their heart out because of their fears and the emotions they keep trying to hide. They need to feel free and express all the love they can give to each other.

“Fade Into You” by Nashville Cast, Sam Palladio, Clare Bowen: Chapter 58. Finally the truth comes out and everything becomes real. Even if the song is pretty sad, the lyrics is just SO accurate and it describes the scene perfectly.

“I Miss You” by Adele: Chapter 59. Basically Nesta feeling needy ‘cause she doesn’t see Cassian for days, but it’s more than that. Pay attention to the depth of the song. It shakes you. And that’s what Nesta feels when she thinks of Nesta.

“Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 59/61. I want to dedicate it to my favorite girls in this book: Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. They’ve been through a lot but they also learnt to face their fears. And they realized that unity is strength.

“Smile” by Uncle Kracker: Chapter 62. Cassian’s sooo happy to be with Nesta it breaks my heart. And his own too.

“Broken Pieces” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 62. Aaand here we go again. Cassian just wants Nesta to give him the chance to be happy with her.

“Carried Away” by H.E.R.: Chapter 62. Nesta thinks they got too carried away and now they’re at a point of no return. She opened herself to him too much. It’s not like she regrets this but she understands that now everything’s too real and changing. She doesn’t feel ready.

"What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes: Ending of Chapter 63. Okay, I’ll make you laugh but this is me after reading it. I needed to put a song about how I felt when I read this freaking ending, after all the devastation Chapter 62 brought into my heart. And the fact that Nesta’s 25 and the first line begins with “25 years”... I DIED. Also I think of her just screaming to the word “WHAT’S GOING ON?!”.

“Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” by Eurythmics ft. Aretha Franklin: Chapters 64/65/66. DO I NEED TO DESCRIBE IT? NAH, I DON’T THINK SO. THESE GIRLS ARE POWERFUL, STRONG AND SMART AS HELL.

“Run The World (Girls)” by Beyoncé Chapters 67/68/69/70. The girls want to win and they’re going to conquer everything with no mercy.

“Puppets” by Depeche Mode: Chapter 71. Eris impotence t is heartbreaking.

“Warriors” by Imagine Dragons: This song is for every character. It’s about Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn, but also Cassian, Azriel and Eris. They’re fighting different battles and they’re doing it with every ounce of power they have.

“Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At The Disco: Chapter 74. Nesta kicking Briallyn’s ass.

“Survivor” by Destiny’s Child: This song is dedicated to Emerie and Gwyn. They spent all their lives learning how to survive. At the end, they finally won.

“Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele: THE Nessian Anthem. I put this here ‘cause FINALLY they’re endgame. But something bad’s about to happen...

“Cancer” by My Chemical Romance: Chapter 76. This chapter’s been the hardest one to face. I had to put the book down for a minute and breathe. I know this song made you panic and ow you know why I chose it. I can’t stop crying thinking about Feyre in those conditions and all the IC and her sisters surrounding her. I’m still so heartbroken.

“You Saved Me” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 77. Nesta cares about Feyre. She’s her little sister and she just can’t let her die like that. She gave her a happy ending even if Nes had to lose almost every ounce of power she had and learned to accept. But they’re worthless in comparison with her sisters life. She just loves them both. She’d do anything for them and this scene proves it.

“Lean on Me” by Bill Withers: This song is about friendship and sisterhood. Nesta’s relationship with Gwyn and Emerie, but also with Feyre and Elain (and lowkey Rhys). Also, I dedicate it to little Nyx, too. They all love you, babyboy, and would do anything for you. Welcome to this chaotic world, kid!

“Sorry” by Halsey: Chapter 78. These are not explicit apologies. Nesta doesn’t need to say “sorry” vocally. She already demonstrated it. Her actions speak louder than words and her sister know it. This song is not about a “romantic lover” but a “person who loves” and they all love too much and strongly.

“Amazing” by Aerosmith: WE FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT. This is the happy ending they deserve (but the cliffhanger is killing me tbh). It’s about everyone in this book. I put it in the playlist ‘cause at first I thought it could refer to Azriel and Cassian. But the more i listened to it, the more I realized it just describes every single character.

“The Reason” by Hoobastank↓

“this is me trying” by Taylor Swift: Both the songs refer to Chapter 80. Nesta visiting her father’s grave is one of the first steps to finally go on. The songs represent what she really wants to tell her father. He’s the reason to start over. And she’s trying. Even if she made mistakes she’s ready to fight for the happiness and love she denied herself years and now she knows she deserves it.

[svnarintaro]

because of you..

a/n: i really wanted to write something to get my angsty feelings out 

synopsis: you have been infatuated with your best friend for the longest time, but you couldn’t compete with kiyoko. attempt after attempt to let your feelings become more apparent you lost yourself and you had enough. 

word count: 1.3k

nishinoya yuu x reader

“okay so you know how i told you that i walked into a pole while i was going ot school right?” yuu was trying his best to contain his laughter but it was obviously failing. “noya i swear.. you told me this story like three times yesterday.” you groaned out and flung your hand against your forehead, “i can’t believe i have tolerated you for so long if you’re this much of an airhead.”

the bright libero shot you a glare but began to blush like a middle school girl, “well.. kiyoko san saw me and she was worried about me~” noya started to feel like he was floating, you on the other hand felt a tug on the bottom of your stomach. ‘keep it together y/n you are better than this.. you know how much he likes her. you can’t possibly ruin that for him.’ you felt a bitter taste on the tip of your tongue from the utterance of her name. 

jealousy was seeping through your skin and bleeding onto your aura and it was obviously ruining your mood. you did not hate kiyoko, nor could you ever hate her it was just that she was everything and had everything that you had ever wanted. and you knew exactly why noya had feelings for the beautiful senior but all you could do was watch from the sidelines and let your feelings eat you whole. 

“yeah,” you let out a harsh fake laugh and looked down at the ground to avoid the bi-coloured hair boy in front of you. “hilarious..” you walked through the door of your first period class and sat down. “wow~ way to conceal your sarcasm your highness,” his joke was a bit too far in your opinion. how could you be so selfish and conceded to show that you were obviously not invested in anything he had to say that had to do with one of the most important people in his life at the moment. you stared off into space and brought out your phone and earbuds to tune out the noisy people in the classroom. “wow tough crowd.” nishinoya whimpered out as he slumped onto his desk. 

you were having a mini pep talk in your head, over and over in your head. ‘y/n you are better than this. you can’t go down without a fight.. if you don’t end up confessing your are going to hurt yourself even more. you need to let him know..’ 

it was finally lunch and you put in your ear buds once again and started to think again about how you were going to confess to noya. your head started spinning in pure confusion and irritation, you didn’t want to lose him but at the same time you felt that you would explode if you didn’t, “Y/N!” a voice shouted in your ear, it was the same voice you have heard time and time again. “noya can’t you see i’m busy with something?” you sneered out to get the one person you didn’t want to see off your back. “c’mon y/n.. i’m sorry for telling you the same story again this morning..” noya looked a little apologetic. “so please~ forgive me~” the little libero pleaded with you. 

an awkward silence followed his pathetic excuse of an apology, “noya if you really wanted me to go with you to the cafeteria you just had to ask.” a sigh escaped your lips as you stood up and began to walk towards the canteen, footsteps were following behind you and you slowed down your pace for your friend to catch up with you. “i know you know me too well!” noya exclaimed as he jumped on your back and hugged you from behind, in pure excitement, your heart swelled by the simple gesture. 

you were about to to combust, you were going to pat his head but you retaliated and smacked his head instead, like kiyoko. “calm down crazy mcgee, i haven’t gotten anything to eat yet.” you tried to say monotonously like the person you looked up to. “your majesty.. you are acting a lot like my dearest kiyoko.” 

the feeling of anger pissed you off even further, “well maybe your ‘dearest kiyoko’ can get you lunch instead.” you shrugged him off of your back and walked in a different direction of the cafeteria to clear your head. ‘i swear if i hear about her one more damn time i am going to lose it.. wait no y/n you shouldn’t think like this.. she didn’t do anything wrong.’ you sighed in pure anger at yourself. how could you hate someone so innocent and that has nothing to do with your own feelings. 

‘how could i be so blinded by jealousy and rage? what is wrong with me? why am i throwing away all of my morals out of the window and changed who i was for some guy.. even if he is my best friend.’ you ended up at the bathroom and splashed your face with cold water hoping to drain away with the water. 

you were at your own breaking point in which you had little to no patience with anyone. nishinoya was no exception to this feeling of anger and it showed when he decided to pop by your house. “yuu? what are you doing here? last time i checked you didn’t leave anything here from out last hangout.” you checked the doorway if you still had anything that you didn’t check. “y/n do you have a minute to talk for a while? like outside?” 

you nodded in agreement. your own feet just dragged along the pavement on the outside of your house. “so what do you want? do you need notes or somethi-” soon enough you had your words that drawn out of your own mouth. “are you okay? you have been acting weirdly lately and i know you.. it’s not like you to act like this..” noya took a step forward whilst you took one step back, “ahh.. i see that you finally noticed. way to be tardy to the damn party.” you snapped back. 

“what is wrong with you?” the boy noticed that you had been annoyed and keeping a distance from almost everyone especially him, “you want to know what is the matter with me? wow i would think that you would never notice.” your eyes rolled back to the back, noya on the other side of the argument, “are you serious? what is up with your damn tone?” 

something within the deepest part of you, “are you kidding me?! are you even aware with the one thing that you talk about that irritates me me.” nishinoya was taken aback with your words, “what are you-” “oh shut up you know exactly what i am talking about.” you sneered at the mere thought of what you thought of. “look i have no clue what you are talking about.” 

“i’m talking about the one damn thing that you talk about, kiyoko. it’s all about fu*king kiyoko with you. it’s all that you ever talk about.” this is where noya lost it as well. “listen here y/n. i don’t see why you are so jealous-” 

“yeah i am jealous. but all of it wasted on you. i lost myself because of you. i don’t know who i am anymore. it is all your fault. i don’t hate you, no.. i hate myself for even thinking about falling for you.” you cried out in pure pain. “noya can’t you see that i have had enough of this.. of us..” your own feet moved on it’s own and turned the other direction. you brought yourself to a halt before entering your house once more. 

“wait- no. there was never an us.. and i don’t think that there will ever be an us noya..”