#please learn basic respect holy fuck

[threepandas]

Bad End: No Good Turn

I rushed to catch up, as I saw the party leaving. Advisor Leukippos was a hopelessly busy man after all. Seeming to drift, with elegant unhurried steps, from appointment to appointment at a somehow impossible speed. It was near impossible to actually catch him NOT in the middle of something. And believe me, I'd been TRYING!

"Advisor! Respected One! Please wait!" I did not so much... shout (as that would be RUDE. One must NEVER be RUDE around the Yanderians. They take GREAT exception. I've looked them up. Have even started taking classes on the subject.) as sorta? Pitched my voice to carry? Kinda the verbal equivalent of that awkward half jog, not run, people do.

My Yanderian pronunciation is god awful. Probably butchering the words, since I can't, you know, actually HEAR any of the nuanced under or over tones. The slight inflections. Yanderian is a language of SONG. Poetry. Composing some of the most beautiful audible art in the known universe. Some of the pieces I've heard? Are like whale song made of starlight. Birdsong made of thunder.

And that's the RECORDINGS! Which are said to miss SO MUCH of the in person nuances, due to technological limitations!

I, being a human, literally don't have the philosophy to even speak the language properly. Never will.

Not the voice box, not the HEARING, and certainly not the lung capacity. But I wanted to at least try, you know? If nothing else, maybe learn the language. There WERE after all, auditory aids for Yanderians with ear injuries. And! I theoretically? Could contact the company? To see if they would be willing to design a set of nuance readers for a human sized head! Adjusted for human hearing and visual ranges!

To be honest? I just was waiting to be able to send my message in Yanderian first. To prove that it wouldn't be a waste of time. Nuance readers were a time consuming project after all! Had to be customized to the life form wearing them.

Leukippos and his entourage had stopped, turned. Some fully, some only half way, to glance in bemused and startled confusion at the (no doubt strange) little creature trying to hacksaw her way through a sentence in their language. None the less, they DID stop for me, for which I was grateful. Their people were fuckin TALL, man. Long legs. Holy SHIT long legs. G-gimme a second! Gotta...! Breathe...!

I could practically feel their amusement from behind the assorted fans. Eyes curving up to match hidden grins.

"No drink to spill upon me, little one? How shall I recognize you now?" Comes teasing song speech from the man I've been trying, for DAYS, to catch outside of any one of his many responsibilities. I think? That particular rumbling quality? Means "playfully said, not insulting you?"

His body language certainly suggests it.

The laugh that forces its way out of my body? Is the sort that you make, while contemplating throwing yourself into the fucking SEA or a bottomless pit, after dumping your breakfast on like... a world leader.

Because I Basically DID.

Which? Ha ha... oh god, kill me. They wear FUCKING WHITE. The higher the rank? The MORE WHITE! (It's the color of Divinity and Honor! Which DOESNT FUCKING HELP! Oh GOD, does this mean what I did was SACRILEGIOUS TOO?!) Nothing but pale, easily and irreversibly stain-able colors, as far as the eye can see! And I accidentally? Dumped my shitty break room "whatever has caffeine and is still in stock" on him!

FIVE TIMES.

I've literally GIVEN UP open air caffeinated drinks because of this! They are the devil! Evil! Trying to ruin both my sanity AND my life! I don't CARE if canned coffee is more expensive! At least I can't DUMP IT ON A DIGNITARY.

The worst part? The ABSOLUTE WORST? Was how understanding and calm Leukippos was, while I lost my shit. It wasn't even MY outfit. He was the one covered in probably still burning coffee! As I hyperventilated and blubbered apologies and cried at him. Hair a mess! Sleep deprived as FUCK because my boss is an asshole. Well... WAS an asshole.

He came over to yell at me.

Did not go well for him. What with that being Rude™ and me having already spilled the beans that the whole incident was CAUSED by me being overworked. Sleep deprivation slows reaction times, you know?

But then... but THEN! It? Kept?? HAPPENING!!!

Turn a corner? Bump! Right down his front. Leaving a lift? Bump! Splash! There goes my cup! Oh but what about a SAFETY cup? I, like FOOL, naively think! Ha ha...

I nearly concuss him! Somehow! Right over the edge of some railing! Slams into the ground at his feet. Nearly hitting him from THREE STORIES UP, right on the head! Pretty sure the sound I made? Was just as painful to HEAR as it was to rip out of my own throat in panic.

No More Cups! Cups are BAD. This? Anti-cup having household.

We'll drink from fucking SPOONS if we have too! Bowls!

NO CUPS!

And every? Single?? Time??? Leukippos not only stops, in the middle of his unspeakably busy schedule, to calm down and reassure this random ass low ranking alien, who's dumped potentially toxic or dangerous unknown alien foodstuffs, just ALL over his incredibly expensive clothes? He's KIND about it! Polite! Makes light hearted little jokes and says not to worry!

It would be one thing, if he was an asshole about it? But!? He's so politely understanding instead? You just end up standing there. Staring in HORROR. At the slowly spreading stains, on that beautiful, delicate, lovely embroidered white fabric. Clothes that are HAND CRAFTED. Take months if not YEARS to make!!! And you just? Feel your soul... die inside.

Kill me. Fucking END me. I deserve it.

Oh my god.... What Have I Done?

But, hey! If he wants to turn my Horrifying Drink Based Trauma Crimes into a cute friendship meet cute? I'm so unbelievably down for that. Literally ANYTHING so I stop feeling like I'm constantly setting this man's ceremonial robes on fire in front of him, then having him ask if I'M okay or need anything.

Speaking of which? Excitedly I reach into my messages bag, asking if he remembers the over robe he lent me. Another victim to our coffee attacks, the over robe was of a style that traditionally hung open, so it only slightly got hit. His main robe suffering the worst of it. Most importantly, though? The over robe is the main decorative one! Heavy on the subtle off white on white embroidery.

It creates a kind of magical looking effect as the light hits it, it's hard to explain.

But! I got coffee'd too, right? Right down my front! So what does he do? Leukippos slides off his over robe and puts it on me. So I won't be walking around in state that would get me socially embarrassed. Cause a scandal. Still not sure if it's a Yanderian or a "their region of the galaxy" thing.

However, that? Left me with a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL and quickly staining white over robe. Not Today, Satan! So I looked up how to save it. Rushed it to a professional cleaners. They kept it from getting worse but couldn't help me, due to the unique fibers the robe was made off, but knew who COULD and sent me on my way.

I ended up in a breathing mask in little Kkbrixxtttishky. And I know, okay? It's mostly oxygen in that dome. Yeah, it IS, but there are enough fatally toxic trace elements in the atmosphere that unless you have a REALLY good filter mask? It's just safer to go full breathing mask. It's not fucking "paranoid" or "racist" or whatever garbage they'll tell you.

Half those fuckers saying that? Wouldn't even TRAVEL there if their LIVES depended on it! For ALL sorts of VERY reasonable excuses, I'm SURE. Bastards. One breathing mask and an uncomfortable decontamination shower between domes is all it takes! It's barely a few minutes delay between domes. Then you're in!

And? The whole area is beautiful. Everyone is super nice, deeply kind (especially when you get lost... like... A LOT). And oh my god? Do you know how badly I wish I could eat the food without, you know, dying? (God those little pie thingies looked so fucking GOOD...)

Anyway! Long and short of it? The Kkbrixxtttishky cleaner knew how to clean the robe! Even stored it in an air tight container so it could be decontaminated for my safe handling. They? Were so sympathetic? Shared my absolute horror at the situation. We're and ARE an absolute gem. Swear to God I plan to recommend them to anyone who can breathe that grade of atmosphere.

It was worth every unit.

Pulling out a clean, neatly folded robe to return? Feels like a triumph.

"The robe of which I gave you, clean once more." He says, recognizing it on sight. The smile behind his fan seems to grow, from what charmed expression I can see of his face, as he steps closer. "Such care, in trusted hands, this robe has found. Little one, you have gone to great lengths. No easy thing, the cleansing of such cloth. And to return it? None would think you less, should you have kept a gift..."

The songspeech has a distinctly warm tone to it, more then the already fond tone that had been there before. Heck yeah~ Knew it! I KNEW I did the right thing! And besides, it WAS the right thing. I tell him as much. He didn't really GIVE me his robe, he leant me it to help me save face.

The Galactic Senate is unspeakably vast. He was running the risk of never seeing it again but did it ANYWAY. Just so I wouldn't be seen walking around covered in a mess. I was just sorry I couldn't fix the OTHER robes my clumsiness had ruined.

"Virtuous little one~" Leukippos says sings, the nuanced tones, which I could only barely hear, suggesting his words were meant to be both teasing and praise. He driftes closer. His other hand elegantly raising to join the first. Both gripping his fan in an... almost coy sort of way? Ah, I'm probably reading that one wrong. Still learning, after all...

"Won't you join me? A walk with good company, is a pleasant one indeed. I have not had chance to speech casually with you before. We would have sent you correspondence; In accordance with tradition and regard, however..."

Leukippos trailed off. Politely not saying the obvious. Which was that it was fuckin impossible to find me in the G.S. directory, since I was effectively a Nobody, and you'd have to know Going IN which Embassy I worked for. Even then, it'd be rough as hell, dragging me name out of that thing. I was the afterthought of an afterthought, that the forgettable once might of had.

But hey, it pays the bills.

I grin. Of course, I'd love to join him. If I'm not getting in the way! The robe is handed off to one of the smiling members of the entourage. Tucked away somewhere. And I am swallowed into the center of the group. Holy SHIT, they are tall. Like? I knew that. On average? Yanderians were about a foot and a half taller then humans... but STILL? I think these guys might be tall for Yanderians? I feel dainty. Wild.

Leukippos helps with my pronunciation, as we walk. Recommends a few new up and coming artists who's works sound fascinating. Distracted by it all, I don't notice our path meandering away from what I know is his next appointment, and towards his office. At least, I don't until we're alone.

His fan lower gently from his face, revealing handsome features.

I startle, don't know where to look. Uuuuuuuh?! No, wait, what!? No. See, I REMEMBER my basics of Yanderian etiquette block, from the sociology lessons I'm taking. He's not allowed to DO that! He can't DO THAT! Illegal! Naked! Why is he FACE NAKED!? That's like taking your SHIRT OFF! Fine around close friends and family. But JUST around them! ONLY them.

Going 0 to 150 REAL FAST, my guy!

Sputtering, I spin around. I saw NOTHING. Sexy lil fangs WHOMS'T? Ha ha! Jawline whaaaat? No, no! I'm actually BLIND. As of just a bit ago! Terrible, really. Should probably see a doctor! Now actually! Yeah. Now sounds good. I'm just gonna-!!

Softly, elegantly, like a dancer's pose, an arm in billowing white reaches over my should to delicately press against the door. It's the old fashioned kind. Swinging, not slide, made of wood. Must of cost more then I make in a year. The hand presses one finger at a time, a precise little sequence of tap tap tap.

Each finger accompanied by the softest sound of sharp nail tips.

I am suddenly hyperaware. H..How did he move that-?

The friendly atmosphere, the comfort, seems to have been sucked out of the room as thoroughly as an open airlock straight to the void. I am alone with a man I do not... now that I think about it... actually know. I FELT like I knew him. We keep meeting. I've been learning about his people. But do I know HIM? Personally? The nature of HIS character?

I... I do not.

And he is a very, VERY powerful man.

My eyes are locked on the hand, gently holding the door shut. I haven't tried my strength against his. Yet. But the numbers are in my head. The odds. Cold sweat prickles and beads along my skin, my breathe shallow, as I stand utterly frozen. It's a beautifully manicured hand, I note. Strong wrist, there a hint of true muscle, under all those robes.

He smells of trees and musk, spices and flowers not native to earth. The sleeve flowing over my shoulder is dangerously soft. His existence a pillar of heat, right behind me, not touching... but close enough. He seems perfectly content to wait me out. My mind is static.

"We fall in love quite easily, did you know? Oh little one..." His words are sighed confession, sung like falling leaves. Another hand comes up, on the other side of me. "My people greatest folly. Our weakness, our despair. Oh little one, we love too much. It frightens people. How quickly and deeply we fall..."

Why was he telling me that? I... I know the most obvious reason why he MIGHT be. B-but surely not! Ha ha. No way. C-can't be! So Why Is He TELLING ME THAT?!

"Courtship requires planning of course. Research. 'Meet-Cutes' I believe they are titled? Did you enjoy them? Were they proper? I'm to take you on outings next, yes? Flowers and material goods. To prove I can provide and know you well, and ah~"

There was mouth pressed to the nape of my neck, breathing deep against my skin. I could feel the almost lazy hunter's grin, splitting those lips into a smirk. Sharp teeth and hot breathe, dangerously close and already lusting to leave behind marks.

"And I DO know you so well. I have made certain of that, my little one. Dearest little one. Jewel of my heart, soon to be keeper of my name. I will court you in your ways, then I will court you in mine. Our wedding will be beautiful."

My heart was racing. I had to get out of here. Go and never, EVER come back. Oh god, at this distance? There was no WAY he couldn't hear everything. I had to lie! Do something! Anything! Just get out of this room. Back to Earth's embassy!

I... I couldn't move. Afraid. I was afraid.

He's so big. So much stronger then me. I have to get out.

"You shall such peace and love on Yanderia, darling. The other partners will rejoice for a new friend and you will be welcomed. Isn't that lovely? There is so much we do not show outsiders. But you, little one?"

"You will have the rest of your life to learn it ALL~"

[ipatrichor]

my thoughts on dead boy detectives after watching episode one

okay first of all i gotta say i love the vibe. two ghosty boys running around solving cases and helping trapped spirits move on? that's so fun i love them

tbh. i don't know whats going on btween these two if it's platonic romantic whatever and i don't think any distinction can be drawn that matters. maybe that's the aro in me but they are each other's most important person and who cares about the semantics!!!

charles trying to get edwin to learn self-defense is very sweet. however i will say girl how has this not happened sooner. you literally just got chased through london by a knife ghost and your next case involves fistfighting a possessed psychic Please learn to throw a punch minimum. i would say learning how to fall properly is more important but it's not like they can get more dead. so.

unless they go to the afterlife or something i guess? interesting stakes, especially with the lady from the end of the episode who's looking for them. also the scene hanging outside the window was very sweet, with edwin promising he won't let them get separated. at this point i think it could go either way whether that was to establish their dynamic or to foreshadow, so we'll have to wait and see if the promise holds, but either way very touching moment

crystal my girl crystal!!!! i love her so much holy shit she is so messy!!!! i love love love her getting angry about her shitty situation bc. yeah! that's scary as hell having amnesia bc ur literal demon ex stole your memories and she's got no one except the boys, one of whom very openly doesn't want her around. that's really rough and i Love that she blows up at them about it in a moment of extreme stress instead of being unnaturally chill about an objectively awful situation like many mystical characters (especially when they're women)

anyway i think crystal should get a knife and stabbing privileges. she'd for sure misuse them but i think it'd be funny

edwin is so real for the 70 years in hell thing. girl if i was in the torture dimension for SEVEN DECADES i'd be awful to everyone, it's actually impressive that he restrains himself to being a petty bitch. good for him tbh, i think he's earned the snark. don't get me wrong it's unhelpful and sometimes downright mean, but it's also funny so i'm letting it slide

the witch... esther i think? god what do i say about her. ok im first gonna start with this: she's fucking chilling, it's so scary watching her body the group with ease until charles basically hail-marys and possesses her AND EVEN THEN it's for less than a minute til she forces him out!! it feels like encountering the bbeg when your party is level five- you know you can't touch her and have to play the situation carefully so she doesn't just end you, and the win is getting away with a different objective (here saving the kid) while knowing she's gonna be actively hostile to you now. scary stuff!

idk if this is the popular opinion or not but i just don't find her hot 😭 like yeah she's serving incredible cunt, but her awful pta mom energy keeps that from being attractive. idk if it's the mommy issues but i would feel unsafe and constantly judged in her presence which is usually a dealbreaker for me finding people hot. sorry ma'am i deeply respect your vibe and the cunt you serve i would just avoid u like hell if u were real

the whole snake in a bone dimension in her cupboard is pretty cool though, and i love that her blowing smoke in people's faces isn't just a power play but a paralytic that's So clever

any other thoughts.... the girl with long hair is pretty, and that interaction with crystal has me wondering if the show got cancelled for lesbianism. i feel like maybe not? idk, if it was the start of a relationship that seems weirdly at odds with the tone of the rest of the show, so im leaning more towards crystal was picking up a weird psychic vibe from her that might be important later. who knows though!! i'll just have to find out haha

anyway i got sucked back into reading a novel but i should get caught up on that sometime today and then it's on to episode two, lol. very interested to find out what's up with the cat's vague ominous warning and what esther's gonna do when she finds out they rescued the kid she kidnapped

[pastel-peach-writes]

CAITVI X YOU IN A BAND PLEASE OH MY LORD !!?? BONUS IF UR SINGING EITHER A LOVE SONG OR A SPICY ONE N THEY R JUST LOOKING AT EACHOTHER N THEN U ?!!!

Comin' up!

Hot Rocker | CaitVi x Reader

╰┈➤ PLOT: Caitlyn and Vi have a partner in a band and holy crap, they can't get enough of them.

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Suggestive Themes, Lowkey The Dirtiest Thing I've Written As A PG-13 Writer, Musician/Singer Reader(separately and together), Mentions Of Overly Touchy Groupies

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

– First off, Caitlyn and Vi absolutely love that you're in a band.

– They can't keep their eyes off of you every time you perform.

– They love how the lights compliment your complexion, and how your hair/body moves as you play and/or sing. Not to mention the cool ass outfits

– Vi loves you with multiple rings, ripped pants, and wild hair. Maybe even an open button-down. Basically, she loves the rocker masc look on you. She says its badass

– Caitlyn loves that look too, obviously. But she mainly loves the look on your face rather than the outfits.

– Yes, she's into fashion and loves what you wear, but when your face softens as you play a romantic ballad or how your face scrunched as you concentrate on your instrument

– speaking of instruments, if you play any handheld string instrument or the piano, Vi will never stop asking you what those hands do.

– it made your face heat up the first few times, but the later times, vi received eye-rolls, smiles, and sometimes a wink.

– even if you play the fucking drums, Vi would always ask because you often twirl the sticks between your fingers.

– If you're not much of a player, but more of a singer, Vi would ask why aren't you that vocal when she goes down on you.

– WELP.

– vocal or not during spicy times, she would always comment on it and Caitlyn will always flick her ear.

– okay, before we get into you singing a spicy song on them or furthermore on how they act while you perform, let's talk about them and your groupies.

– It's not like they don't love them! They do and they're your fans.

– If you like them, they love them

– but some of the groupies don't understand boundaries and/or talk about you in a certain way they don't like.

– it's not gross. it's the normal, "omg they're so hot!" "did you see how they acted during the finale? ohhh my god, I'm on my knees" "they could run me over with a bus and not only will i apologize for getting in the way, I'd say thank you.

– Okay, that last line makes Vi chuckle as she overhears it. Caitlyn is more concerned, but you say similar lines to her and Vi, so it's not like it was foreign behavior to her.

– anyways!

– they don't like when your groupies get handsy or visibly make you uncomfortable when you're all backstage.

– some of your fans/groupies are so wrapped up in your stardom, they forget you're human.

– God, don't let your bodyguards fail at their job.

– Vi is the first one screaming that the show's over, the guards aren't doing their fucking job, and some of your fans need to learn some respect.

– Caitltyn immediately apologizes for Vi's profanity, but not for her actions of shutting things down. She glares at the guards and some of the problematic fans while ushering everyone out

– she also looks at the kind fans apologetically and hopes they get home safe.

– OKAY FINALLY. SHOWTIME (literally)

– you don't sing or play your spicy songs until near the end of the concert.

– the mood is calmer, the fans are fully engrossed in the music. and the lighting is a perfect purple/red.

– usually, the spicy songs are covers, but the moment you show up performing a BRAND NEW UNRELEASED song about the two of them? ohhh god

– first off, cait and vi are blushing. it's intense and they're so flustered but since they're in the front row and surrounded by people, they have to keep it cool.

– the moment you mention the contrast of calloused and soft hands, they glance at each other like "is this fucking play about us?!"

– yeah, babes. it is.

– if you're a singer, you look at them as you sing. you don't stare at them all the time. (you can't let the fans know this song is explicitly ab them even though they have a good hunch)

– you're holding onto the mic stand, swaying your hips to the music with your eyes closed. but then when you talk about their kisses and maybe even how they act during the act, you look at them with a little smirk

– vi smirks back, but its very faint. she's thinking, "oh this little fucker. you're not going to get away with this"

– meanwhile, Caitlyn is freaking.

– she's not really open w her "adult" life like that and even though the details are vague and you're not saying her name, she can't help but get embarrassed

– now people know her dirtiest and deepest fantasies! (aka pretty lingerie and whispers smh. you'll be okay cait)

– if you're not much of a singer, but a music player, you watch them the entire time you play.

– you added some lyrics to the song, so when the line you wrote about them comes up, you make eye contact. A sneaky smile spreads across your face and your tongue pokes at your cheek

– if the song is more upbeat, think Chase Atlantic, you headbang to some of the music.

– if the song is slower, lana del ray type shit, you sway your music and chew on your lip

– whatever you do, Caitlyn and Vi love it

– they're weak at the knees, resisting the urge to jump on stage and kiss you until your lips turn purple

– god, they think you're such a tease but they love it.

– after the show Vi walks up to you like, "well, that was some song"

– and you're "innocently" like "oh, what song? can you remind me?"

– even Caitlyn's a little smug with a tensed jaw and her tongue running along her upper teeth. she crosses her arms, Vi mimics the stance, and she tilts her head to the side. in a low, sultry whisper she goes "you know what song."

– WHEWWWWW

– butterflies, shivers, ETC. EVERYTHING YOU COULD FEEL YOU'RE FEELING

– later that night at the hotel is interesting, but I'll leave that to your imagination.

WC: 1,000

[ralexsol]

watching "Listen" from 12 and then directly afterwards "The Devil's Chord" from 15 was the wrong decision on my part. it only made the devil's chord that much more painful. like listen isn't like an insanely good episode or anything but it. actually feels like a sci-fi show. and it has a very touching ending with clara and kid doctor.

a better comparison would be with "Robot of Sherwood" from 12 vs. devil's chord. they're both the 2nd episode of their respective doctors, with the plot being the companion's "i've always wanted to go to-" dream. both are EXCELLENT companion dreams: robin hood and the beatles. both have INSANE levels of potential for shenanigans between people of legendary status and doctor + companion. but um. one is done incredibly and the other is. not.

Robot of Sherwood: start in the TARDIS with doctor & companion. wanna see robin hood, oh but robin hood is not real - and wow, an idea held by a character in the intro scene will actually play a key role in both the comedy AND emotional charge for the entire episode! for the rest of the episode, you have robin hood as the 3rd protagonist in TONS of scenes, with iconic characters as his merry men and the sheriff making appearances. and look, an actual sci-fi thing going on! the guards are robots and they're stealing gold for their spaceship! cool!! and then the emotion-based ending of the doctor and robin relating over being legendary heroes who will only be remembered as such.

The Devil's Chord: start in unknown location with piano guy and his student. that's fine, it's setting up the plot, sure. get some fun piano playing and holy shit okay the villain is right here and just immediately showing their entire hand and purpose?? okay so they're killing people because they want music to themself. okay, they seem cool enough, there must be some interesting thing about them that we'll learn later. switch to TARDIS, wanna see the beatles, let's go!, montage of them watching famous musicians be shit at EMI studios. oh hey it's george martin the producer of the beatles thats fun!! annnnnnd he has more lines than ringo and george combined and this is basically the last time we will see half of the beatles! um. okay. i am dead serious half the beatles have about 2-3 lines between them and they only speak in 1 fucking scene. there's a cool scene with paul & doctor and ruby & john, i really liked how they explained the disappearance of music and the inherent terror everyone seemed to feel of the maestro (the villain) coming to get them. the scene on the rooftop is cool! im a pianist and i love orchestral music so i really liked that. but i was so terrified she was going to start singing at any moment because i cannot handle any more cringe-worthy songs in this show i just can't. this is not a musical. anyway, the whole episode falls apart when you realize oh the beatles arent actually what this episode is about and oh the maestro is literally just the character that you saw in the intro scene and they have no twist motive and no emotional charge and yeah they're the toymaker's kid so they're a "force of nature" and not an alien with cool science and they just want allll the music. and then there's long "fight" scenes and then john and paul save the day without saying a single word in a 15-second long total shot. and then there's a fully fever-dream level dance and song montage.

i dont know too much about peoples' opinions on 15 so far cause ive had spoiler tags blocked for months, but from what i HAVE seen, it's been really positive. am i blind? am i stupid? am i bigoted????? why dont i like the vibes of this season?? maybe im just spiraling because ive been so hyped to watch the beatles episode as a beatles fan for MONTHS and just can't cope with ringo and george being written out. ive only seen 3 episodes w 15. i so hope it gets better. please let it be better. if they do another musical number i will kill something. i will spontaneously combust.

[atlantis-just-drowned]

hi!! i’m not sure what you’re okay with writing but if you’re comfortable with it could you do pluto x reader nsfw headcanons??

A/N : OMG you are my SAVIOUR Anon!! I've been desperate to share my NSFW headcanons of him but didn't really have an excuse lol- Anyway I hope you'll enjoy these!!

Pluto x gn!reader NSFW headcanons

Please reblog this post to show support! Reblogs are what keep me going!

First things first I'm warning you

Pluto does fall in the 'desperate boys that will fuck if given the chance' category

I can't see it any other way

The Hormones™️ are deadly present but he's painfully a virgin

Like he spent most of his life surviving abuse and sex was definitely not a priority

(not to mention the crippling anxiety)

He barely ever interacted with anyone he found attractive

Let alone have any kind of relationship with them

So, virgin. Absolute virgin.

When you two will start getting more intimate he'll be so damn anxious about it because what if he messes up and you're disappointed?

He copes with it by telling himself he'll compensate the lack of experience by doing literally anything that'd please you

And he'll keep this promise, you can be sure of it

If you don't have any experience either you'll both figure things out together as you go

But if you do have experience he'd prefer you to take the lead

Like, very much prefer

(he a bottom we all know that)

Now on the topic of dos and don'ts

Do not. Put. Anything. Around his neck.

For obvious reasons I believe this would be one of his hard limits

So like no leather, collar, and certainly nO CHOKER

He will get a panic attack if you do

Or if you try to cHoKe hiM holy shit be gentle the traumas?????

More generally I believe he enjoys you being caring and gentle during sex??

He doesn't mind some slightly rough sessions here and there tho

It's a nice change from time to time

But you'll only learn about that after a while

Trust-building first you know?

If you don't believe him when he says he can handle it he's going to get disappointed

I mean he's not made of sugar, you know that right?

He survived way worst than some overstimulation seriously come on

And even if you do something that he doesn't like he can always tell you, he knows you'll respect his boundaries

Other than overstimulation I 100% believe Pluto likes being praised

When I say 100% I mean if he doesn't have a praise kink I'll explode

I mean look at this man please call him a good boy and I swear he'll faint and ascend to outer space

I also believe he likes whatever position where he can grab at you, like

Think about him holding you tight and scratching the skin of your back at a particularly hard move

Or grabbing at your arm or your head to keep himself from crumbling down?

Yes I absolutely believe in that

What can I say this man is touch starved after all

Speaking about that btw

He's incredibly touch-sensitive

Some areas more than others but basically he's just so easy to turn on with just a few light touches and teases

Those get him going more than anything

He's absolutely mortified about it tho

I mean come on why can't he just get a good grip on himself he's overly sensitive seriously???

(but he secretly loves it when you make him lose his mind this way)

He won't ever say it out loud but yeah

You know the truth

Man gets hard and despaired just from being held tight with your hand roaming on his skin under his clothes I'm not even kidding

Also

He's not extremely loud but he definitely makes noises

So brace yourself for a lot of breathless whispers, gasps, groans, moans and whimpers

The moment you'll lay your hands on him he's a mess and his thoughts go straight up from his dick to his mouth without stopping by his brain lmao

I'm thinking, little 'please's, 'thank you's, 'I love you's, your name, etc.

I also think he tends to swear a lot given that he's pretty much the one who swears the most in the Misfits???

Also, based on his experience of the world and everything

I think we can all agree to say Pluto was raised in a society where the ideal of virility was pretty tough and he didn't fit the mold at all

And I think maybe (just maybe) it made him feel very shameful about himself at some point

So like you'll have to help him unlearning shame even (and especially) concerning his sex life

And!!

It's pretty much a fact that he's smaller than average

So I'm a firm believer he has a complex over his size down there because he never got to compare

(don't call it unrealistic I know cis males do weird things and probably have dick contests or something but our boy isn't like that okay)

He, in fact, has a pretty average size for a man his age

He's just damn insecure lmao

You'll have to reassure him that there's nothing wrong or 'not enough' with him quite a few time before he actually believes you

[rita-rae-siller]

#11 please!

Hi! This is a fun one. The Lies They Tell has a few subplots that I’m working on right now.

The biggest is the romance subplot. Mara and Alura care deeply about each other. To Alura, Mara is the first person to ever see her as more than the emperor’s right hand—bloodthirsty and merciless. She makes Alura feel like a person for once rather than a living weapon. Mara finds Alura uptight, arrogant, and depressingly nihilistic. And she loves her for it. Underneath the broody demeanor and that secret longing for death, Mara sees a very loving, honest woman. The rollercoaster of a plot makes them question their feelings for one another as they fight against what is beginning to feel like fate.

Another main sub plot is shared by three other characters: the assassination of the emperor and the four separate coups in place.

The Theocratic Coup: This world has a polytheistic play on the catholic church mashed with the ideals of Egyptian pharaohs being god kings. The pope is the emperor in this world, and the College of Cardinals advises him. Once, the temples held power, now the emperor and the Magistracy preside over the masses. They want the emperor dead so they cab take the empire back to more “traditional times”. They believe they hold seay over the emperor’s Left Hand, his representative to the temples and the Magistracy. Matilde was raised by the College, and they largely believe she is their pawn. Their goal is to take out the rival coup—the magistrates of the magistracy and the lords they answer to—and the emperor. In his place, they want to install Matilde as empress regent until Dioclaetus’ son Achaedon comes of age. This gives them time to groom the boy to their liking.

The Magistracy longs to overthrow the empire in favor of independence for all nations under Garmoran Rule. The respective ruling families, which are basically token nobility with no say over their own holdings, see Dioclaetus’ weakened state as an opportunity to finally rise up. Their leader, Lord Ouranis Platea of Rahtma, one of the most powerful lords in the Magistracy, intends to mimic this new confederacy after the alliance system between Old Morvaara’s nations. He is married to Matilde, and fully believes she is his spy in the temples and the throne. To his knowledge, Matilde is on his side.

Matilde has her own ideas. She hates her husband. He’s a tyrant and all his finery and gifts aren’t enough to buy her love. She hates the Cardinals for abusing her, and most of all, she hates the emperor that rules over her life, that blames her for any failings in his empire. So she makes allies across the empire. No one suspects the small, frail left hand to be capable of planning murders and diversions. Her sway over the Magistrates that long to keep their power and the bishops that long to replace their Cardinals might just tip the balance in her favor. But only if she can get Alura on her side. Because she keeps inadvertently fucking Matilde’s plans up with her military successes.

The Order of the White Cloak believes Alura is the next Hariiv: a holy messenger sent in times of trouble to lead Garmora to glory and peace. This rightfully upsets the emperor when these rumors reach him. But he is certain Alura is too loyal to ever turn on him. The White Cloaks primarily trained and raised Alura until she was a teenager. The Silent Sisters took over once she turned 14, by order of the emperor. They train Alura to change her face at will, despite direct orders from the crown that she simply learn their ways and attempt to come to an understanding. The Sisterhood is at odds with the temple of Silus’ Cardinal. They also believe Alura to be a holy messenger. And they want her to be empress. So they partner up with the White Cloaks to keep her safe and overthrow Dioclaetus and any other threats to her rule.

And then there is what I call the Matters of Allegiance subplot. Alura has lived in the empire her whole life. She knows nothing but Dioclaetus and the life he’s forced her into. It took a lot for Mara to convince Alura to betray him. The longer things drag on, and their plan for extraction and asylum keeps getting delayed, the more Mara begins to worry Alura doesn’t intend to fulfill her end of the bargain that will save her life. Alura is terrified to act out and do what she believes is right without fear. Add on to this the Order of the White Cloak and the Silent Sisters both pressuring her to do different things—stay and fight vs leave and make allies with the Morvaarans—and we have Alura’s very full plate threatening to spill over. Who does she trust? Who does she follow? Or does she make her own path?

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

rating the fanbases in nijisanji en that im in 🤠🤘

also im not hating on yall im just talking about…… some colorful things about the fan communities im in

aight for one, kyomies. = FUCKING -18/10

im scared of like some of yall. like ongod 😭 either chill or so fucking down bad WW like oh god i watched the confessions stream YOU GUYS. ARE SCARY. PLEASE. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES MY JAW DROPPED WATCHING THAT STREAM. also we needa stop bullying kyo for being the shortest male in nijisanji en lmao hes coping already 💀AHEM… TO ANY OF YALL WHO GENUINELY LIKE ASTERS FEET CAM STREAM… DNI (jkjk but like keep a respectable distance from me pls 🧍✋ yall scare me enough)

kindreds!! = 5/10

yall horny as fuck. all i gotta say. we all know the gwak gwak incident, lets leave it pls. also yall are nice, everyone in chat is pretty nice, yk you get a parasocial chatter every once and a while but oh well wwww 💀💀 ehmmm theyre like the first niji en fanbase ive been in, i have a friend irl whos a kindred, theyre nice yk did not prepare me for the shitshow the online kindreds are

villions = 8/10

i know, we are all probably down bad for ber whenever he speaks korean, BUT CAN YOU BLAME US?? i wanna bet ver is half of his fanbases’ reason to learn korean (can vouch because i started to relearn kr bc of him 😭👌) ALSO HES SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM!! villions in general, yall r nice, like all i gotta say LOL

sicklings = 4/10

basically kindreds but like twice as horny and mentally ill 💀like goddamn yall listen to his yandere asmrs and go ‘he can fix me’?? is that like a thing in this fanbase? 😭 how mentally ill yall had to be to fall for a therapist [bullying myself rn] like holy shit also that one overlay incident 🫣 lets not talk about it but like anyways yall are ok, its a debatable topic also just wanted to say hex looks like the type of person to have a rice purity score of 53 idk

FaMillie = 10/10

OK SO IM BIASED BC IM ALSO A FILIPINO AND YK SWAGPINOS UNITE BUT YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY I CANT LIE, YOU HAVE GENUINELY MADE ME CACKLE SOMETIMES especially the hugot lines stream, my mom fucking got mad at me for laughing so much some of yall are unhinged like stop bullying millie LOL ik its for shits and giggles but damn, yall are being mean sometimes 😭

Quilldren = 6/10

personally, i havent been in the fanbase too much but most of you guys are chill so neutral score. havent seen too much stir from ike's fans so thats nice, good to know theres one fan base that isnt overtly chaotic [from what ive seen 👀]

scythekicks = 8/10

girl is this fanbase dead or am i just not active on twitter? probably the latter LMAO but like i barely see any doppio fans in the wild like where are yall come out come out you may be outta scythe but you aint outta my mind WWWW we all love doppio in the scythekick household, that man gets so entertained so easily

uhhhh shit ok pls dont cancel me WWWWW IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE I PROMISE THIS IS ALL FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES im in these fan bases too IM BASICALLY FUCKING MYSELF OVER

also posts are gonna be slow as fuuuck cuz schools starting and yknow we gotta COME IN DO YOU READ ME?-

im just kidding guys dont hate me for this WWW its for giggles so dont take it to heart

i think i did this wrong in so many ways but oh well LMAOO

[raxistaicho]

Could you elaborate on your gameplay tier list please ? Like what you think of the gameplay of each game

Yeah, for sure :)

S tier

New Mystery of the Emblem is just very tightly balanced and it really teaches you to respect things like enemy move order, spacing, and damage counting, and the rainbow potions, reclassing, and the star shards strongly reward careful examination of stat benchmarks. Also it's one of the few games in the series where nearly every promoted class has some valuable niche (Warrior sadly doesn't live up).

Thracia is kind of on the extreme opposite end of things, where instead it's very experimental and just flat busted in a lot of ways, and there's a lot of oddball ways to build units (Amalda spamming a sleep staff while holding a fire sword is a good example) and the game is actually well balanced around getting you to exploit its busted mechanics, which fits the story of Thracia.

Conquest in a lot of ways is kinda like New Mystery's answer to modern Fire Emblem. Kinda the same stuff is all there.

A tier

Tear Ring Saga has some really fascinating ways to make units unique from one another (Maerhen would so easily just be hot garbage but he actually has a fun niche, Raquel is one of the best-designed turn based strategy game units I've ever seen) and he and it has a better party split than Gaiden or Sacred Stones could dream of having (which lends to replayability) but it's also a LONG game (I think it has around 40 chapters not counting map spawns and dungeons) and has some just inexplicably shitty units who have absolutely no value to bring to a party.

Shadow Dragon is mini New Mystery in a lot of ways. Its first three chapters are hot garbage but the mid-game is actually quite fun and there’s unexpected ways to make some units work out. Also being able to control ballisticians is all kind of fun.

Three Houses REALLY pushes you to learn and use all its myriad ways to build a team (see my post on why “oops all wyverns” is stupid), and I’m just really into the character and team-building side of it. That said, I can easily see why the monastery would get very tedious and the map design is really weak, honestly.

B tier

Birthright is my first guilty pleasure game. I just think it’s a pretty solidly-built game with no major flaws aside from being rout-heavy and Ryoma being hilariously busted.

Radiant Dawn is a super guilty pleasure game, lol. I like some of the creative things it tried, and ledges brought some really nice strategic depth to some maps, but there’s no denying the game is a balance disaster.

Mystery of the Emblem is just distilled good Fire Emblem design, but the game shows its age and it’s unbearably slow to play nowadays.

Binding Blade has a really good mid and late game, but the starting squad’s competence is a myth. Accuracy is a joke. We are all pawns, controlled by something greater: huge maps and status staves! The DNA of Binding Blade!

C tier

Genealogy of the Holy War is a game I’ve soured on. As I mentioned earlier on I like team and character building, but unlike Three Houses and Conquest the answer is actually who fucking cares about the other kids when you have Seliph and Leif. I unironically really like chapter 2, don’t @ me. But yeah, this game’s very slow to play and enemies are pretty incompetent compared to your chosen lord.

Shadows of Valentia is plagued by questionable map design, units that get samey once they promote, and just honestly getting kinda boring as the game progresses. Another guilty pleasure, since it does do some things I kinda like, like town exploration and dungeons.

D tier

Path of Radiance, slow as fuck game. Everything takes forever, the enemies are incompetent but really bulky, and late game basically devolves into A-moving a bunch of paladins and fliers at the enemy.

Awakening, fucking balance disaster of a game. You’re better off just lowmaning and making an unkillable juggernaut because difficulty is all about bigger enemy numbers and more enemies. Basically every map just swarms you with bodies in the hopes that eventually one of them manages to get the wheels on your meat grinder caught.

And as I mentioned, I haven’t played 7 or 8 recently enough to fairly vote, but 7 would not get very high (most of the unpromoted units are not worth bothering to raise, the ranked system is terribly designed, and higher difficulties fucking restrict your deploy slots) and 8 might be middling at best (just really weak challenge)

[olivethetreebitch]

I lied, sleep has decided to abandon me.

Fuck it.

Agender Wild, goes with whatever pronouns doesn’t give a FAUK.

So I think the resurrection chamber stoped his body from aging, like, completely. Like time stoped for the body.

Like I absolutely love the elderich soul aus where Wild is not Link, but just inhabits the dead man’s Body??? Like that’s my fucking bread and BUTTER. MMM all the good flavors.

So Wild was not aware that she is in fact, part Gerudo due to a permanent curse on said body, the curse would eventually fade due to use over time but it never happened. Link went back first.

Wild, before being born, finds and kicks Ganandorfs ass, rightfully taking the triforce of power for itself (another headcanon is that only a Gerudo “male” or in other words “one of Ganon’s linage” (because all the males have been Ganon, so it’s another name for a male Gerudo) may hold the triforce of Power)

So. Wild has both the triforce of power and courage, basically sacrificing his timeline body to seal and break down the Malice (not to completely destroy it but anything helps) and becoming a spirit for a full 20 min before they wake up as Baby.

[cue epic music]

Also the Gerudo do not know about Wild’s existence, momma had some issues with the currant social norms that Gerudo were expected to hold so they left to travel.

Wild in this is actually a year younger (physically) then Zelda, so heheh there’s that.

Literally Wild is just the peak of the meme

“On god…

…..Please shut up….

…..Please.”

Every fucking time. Also is the peak of ADHD.

Uhhh Wild knows how to play a multitude of instruments, and knows a lot of languages (all the native languages and common, even some from outside the kingdom)

But he did not know Hyruleian until she met the chain, and they all took a turn trying to teach the gremlin…….

They have the most complicated and messy dialect of everyone. Flora tried to figure out where it is from, but couldn’t place it. Eventually Wild told her.

Wild refers to the 100 year old Zelda as Flora as she really learned how to stand on her own, and became a little (older?) sister to them. The currant young Zelda hasn’t quite fit into the role yet. (Maybe another name? Probably not. It’ll be a character growth thing. She needs to break through the trauma to even start assessing the damages)

Another thing on the Fierce thing: after the bbeg was defeated, there was this time where the entire group ended up in the holy/god realm as Time was getting the rundown the Chain met Hylia face to face, yes she’s their other mother other then Malon. Legend is like that grumpy kitten that’s sulking. He gets a hug don’t worry.

And because Wild is a priest, she can talk to any of the gods their close to, which includes the main three, Hylia, Time, Fierce, and the other Priests. (Sometimes Sun if he concentrates hard enough)

Which means when the king is digging into Zelda, Wild is over here side eyeing Hylia like “Bruh what do I do-“ and she’s like “Kick his ass” “not yet”

Wild is determined to help Zel in any way it can, be it through giving her flowers, reviving Terico (the egg, no I don’t know how to spell it), and just generally trying to make her life easier.

Wild also wants desperately to kidnap Zel and let her not only sleep, but actually teach her how to tap into the goddess.

(Healing first, then trust, then building up magic reserves, then doing actual shit)

Wild: [aggressively but also tenderly big siblings Zelda into having better mental heath]

Wild: I’m supposed to be the sad one! You get your own script!

Wild loves the champions, ace wild strikes again when it comes to Mipha, she kinda reminds him of Hyrule. So like….. no. Deruk is like a brother to him and he cares about- Urbosa he respects and reminds her of her mother. Rivali Wild has decided is not worth the energy at this point, and exclusively calls him Ravioli.

Ta daaa

[synchlora]

ayup I love seeing more ranboo content and im so excited to see him playing dnd but my fucking god don't be a dick and say the only reason ur watching jrwi is to see ranboo. like what the fuck is wrong w u people??????

[pope-neuro]

Give headcanon for merc.

(Sorry I been taking so long to get to these, I’ve been dealing with the sudden death of my baby bird, life has been kinda terrible this week)

NOTE: There will be some suggestive stuff in here but most of it is for comedic purposes

General merc headcanons:

Scout:

-my boi got adhd like you would not believe

-The poor bastard cannot focus on anything for the life of him, no matter how hard he tries

-One of the reasons why he has trouble with reading, he was never really able to focus enough to figure it out, as that’s something that takes a LOT of time and a LOT of focus.

-Really talented artist tho! He loves drawing and keeps a sketchbook or two in his room! He likes to doodle before bed each night, it helps him calm down

-Somehow gay and homophobic at the same time

-Would absolutely lose his shit over the blue lobster meme no matter how old it gets

Soldier:

-My goofy ahh uncle

-The physical embodiment of “he a lil confused, but he got the spirit”

-Bro does not give a FUCK what anyone else thinks and I respect the hell out of that

-The men in his family were all in the military, which is one of the reasons why he’s obsessed

-secretly very insecure that he never actually made it into the official military

-Puts up a front so he can avoid feeling like a disappointment sometimes

-Solly is one of those people that sleeps like a LOG. Literally nothing can wake him up other than his own internal clock, which conveniently goes off at 6am.

-It is at this point in the morning when he goes around the base and attempts to make everyone else get up. Most are not pleased.

-Bi as fuck. He kisses men. He kisses women. He literally does not care, a beautiful person is a beautiful person, son.

-He calls his partner “son”.

Pyro:

-He is my son

-I love my son so much I am so proud of him for just existing.

-Pyro’s name is Ernesto

-His mask is literally just his face, like the plague doctor SCP. What appears to be clothing is actually just his body.

-He is from another planet, and the oxygen in our atmosphere has hallucinatory effects on members of his species

-Poor baby is basically in a haze 100 percent of the time :( but he does his absolute best!

-He literally only wants to spread peace, love, and flower power

-Fire makes him feel nice, because it’s bright and it’s warm. Fire is friendly and comforting. It helps ground him in this strange world.

Demo:

-Under-appreciated as fuck holy shit

-Probably one of the most hardworking people on the team, if not THE most

-This guy is doing multiple jobs at once in addition to his demanding work as a mercenary.

-He’s actually super smart! He may not act like it when he’s super drunk, but he seriously does know what he’s doing

-Chemistry EXPERT. Can he please help me with my chem 101 homework I literally could never. I know he’s smart because chemistry is fucking impossible and he loves the subject

-sometimes works with Engie to develop new types of bombs!

-My theory is that he turned to alcohol in order to cope with the chronic burnout he must be facing by working so many jobs at once. Just helps him check out of life for a while, but unfortunately that comes at the cost of his liver.

-Fr tho how the fuck is he even alive, he drinks HYDROGEN PEROXIDE at one point, which isn’t even related to alcohol at all, it’s literally just a poisonous chemical💀

-I have reason to believe he now has epilepsy as a result of medic damaging his hippocampus while scooping his brain, I made a post about this a while ago if you’re interested in more details

-He is very much in need of a hug

-I love him so much

-You’re doin good lad

Heavy:

-One of the smartest people on the team, despite what you might perceive at first glance.

-The only reason he may sound “dumb” to some people is because English is his second language, and he has a very hard time speaking it.

-Fr tho English sucks, I have no idea how people learn it later in life on their own

-In the Russian dub of meet the heavy, he speaks a lot more eloquently. Definitely strikes me as the type of person to have a PhD in Russian literature.

-His dream was to one day become an author, but mercenary work got in the way because it was the best way to provide for his family overseas.

-He still writes from time to time in a small notebook he keeps by his bed, in the hopes that one day he’ll publish something

-He will

-Gay AF

-The literal definition of a Bear

-His guns are his babies, he literally loves them like they’re his children.

-Honestly I feel that way about my PC so I get it😭

Engie:

-Also a very underrated character

-Ties with medic for Smartest On The Team

-Engie just puts his genius towards more practical (and less unhinged) use

-I mean clearly he’s not TOTALLY stable, he did cut off his own arm to attach the gunslinger

-Always felt the need to prove himself growing up. Because of where he’s from, people tended to assume he was kinda stupid based on stereotypes. He obviously ended up proving everyone wrong.

-Is autistic and has OCD. He needs to do things a certain way or he can get extremely upset, especially in his workshop. It’s his safe space that is not to be invaded unless he is expecting you.

-Acts like a father figure to pyro. Basically the only one who isn’t unsettled by him (other than maybe medic)

-He definitely takes pyro fishing on the weekends

-Very talented singer, but he’ll absolutely deny it if you tell him. He’s super humble about everything

-But nah everyone else always loves to listen to him sing and play the guitar when they’re all hanging out at the fire pit.

-He’s such a dad I love him

Medic:

-Medic is my wife

-Smartest member of the team along with Engie

-Actually very strong! He lifted soldier up by the collar in expiration date, and he’s gotta weigh at LEAST 250.

-Also carries around heavy equipment all day, and is STILL the second fastest runner on the team, only behind scout.

-Medic is actually a pretty big dude. It’s just hard to notice when he’s standing next to heavy who is an actual giant. I think medic is canonically like 6’1 or something. Big dude. Wide shoulder. Booba. 👍

-Of course he looks small when he’s near heavy, EVERYONE looks small standing next to heavy

-Bi medic Bi medic Bi medic Bi medic

-Contrary to popular belief, he DOES indeed have the title of “Doctor”. In order to get a medical license in the first place, you are required to complete med school and obtain an MD or DO degree. Licensure and degrees are two separate things. You can lose a license, but you can’t be stripped of the education you already learned. The title of “Doctor” comes with a degree, not a license, as we have seen with engineer and Heavy’s PhD’s.

-He’s autistic with a special interest in medicine! If he’s not actively in battle, his in his lab working on shit. He LOVES it. It’s basically the only subject he cares about (source: am autistic w/ medical special interest. Am I projecting? Maybe but oh well)

-He very clearly knows what he’s doing, even though his methods are kinda fucked💀

-He’s succeeded in literally raising the dead multiple times in addition to inventing all of his healing devices completely his own.

-Hangs out with Engie when he’s not working on stuff, they both enjoy building/inventing devices and they enjoy talking about their shared special interests. He is closest with Engie and heavy out of everyone on the team.

-The only one that knows pyro is an SCP

-He’s a hoe. A massive hoe

-we are married

Sniper:

-Emotions are scary and Should Not Exist

-Also autistic! The man has literally no idea how to speak to other humans, and talks to himself constantly (am autistic, can confirm)

-MASSIVE introvert, has to retreat to his van a couple times a day to recharge

-He likes to draw birds he sees while on the job!

-Likes plain black coffee which I will never understand it’s so fucking bitter literally wh

-Doesn’t like people to know he’s somehow only 27 years old despite looking like he could be my dad when in reality he’s only like 7.5 years older than me

-He could be my brother but he looks like he could be my dad wtf

-One of those lucky bastards who doesn’t burn in the sun easily, he’s outside constantly

-His ideal place to be would be outdoors on a nice sunny day. A wide open area with no one else around.

-Puts his hat over his face when he sleeps because of course he does

-He Is Not Straight

Spy:

-Pan, poly

-Canonically enjoys his romances “in groups of six”

-Spy hosts orgies guys, valve’s words not mine

-Sigma chad, has fucked your mom and will do it again

-Is not aware that he smells terrible from smoking all the time

-God knows how many children he’s left behind because he’s afraid of staying in any type of committed relationship

-Very similar to sniper in that emotions are Scary

-Speaks every language known to mann

-He absolutely has a sex dungeon. In this video he literally has plans to “remodel his dungeon”:

https://youtu.be/IIoBW__Y8DY

-WHAT OTHER KIND OF DUNGEON WOULD HE HAVE

-ITS A SEX DUNGEON

-HE’S HAD IT LONG ENOUGH THAT IT NEEDS REMODELING

-Probably has the best social skills out of anyone else on the team

-Possibly a sociopath? Or just very good at hiding his intentions and motivations

-Spy is awesome but also I love making fun of him

-Haha skinny legg mann

Im so sorry poor anon asked this like a month ago😭😭 but I wanted to be really thorough with my headcanons!! I hope you like em and feel free to ask me more shit :))

[theotherpacman]

and then they discover

holy musical b@man.

they DRAG the entire family into a big movie night where they watch the whole thing

bruce and dick hate it. tim is very uncomfortable. damian finds it wildly offensive.

jason is fucking delighted.

he and stephanie learn all the words to all the songs so they're ready at the drop of the hat:

whenever batman, in costume, says anything cool or dramatic they start snapping and singing "be the battest man that there's ever been, he's gonna carry the weight, he's gonna get revenge / he's got gotham, he'll never refuse em he's got bat nunchucks and boy he knows how to use em" and he Tries to ignore them

whenever bruce says something sufficiently angsty they just fuckin belt I'M FALLIN APAAAART I NEED A FRIEEEEND

Basically Any Time they're in the same room as dick and bruce they launch into the dynamic duet, complete with choreography. they'll wait a few minutes to lull them into a false sense of security before jason goes "how could it all have been so" or steph starts it with "you are my bright night"

same shit basically any time they're in the same room as bruce and clark. picture it please bruce and clark are bickering about something or other and suddenly jason and steph are there singing "FUCK YOU, im gonna kick ur ass"

months later in a rare occurrence they see the justice league and bruce tells them beforehand like "please. please don't. I know you think it's funny but please please don't" and they're like "oh yeah yeah for sure yeah definitely." during the meeting they're super respectful and professional and batman is so on edge but eventually he gets into the topic at hand and stops thinking about it. and then there's a lull in the conversation and spoiler starts singing "super friends, super duper friends" and bruce is like oh god no and then red hood is standing on a chair going "ONE MAN, MANY FRIENDS" and batman is fighting the urge to put his head in his hands

also robin sucks becomes jason's new ringtone

i need y'all to picture something. the batfam gets their hands on some kind of magical technology that allows them to watch batman movies from universes where batman doesn't exist.

bruce refuses to watch any of them. dick and tim watch a couple but then it gets too weird for them. jason thinks the whole thing is stupid and glorifies batman in a way that really pisses him off. damian tries it out but finds the movies ridiculous. duke also thinks they're ridiculous but finds it funny. cass and steph LOVE them and watch them with popcorn, they have girls' nights and invite barbara

[lunerbean]

Witch Tips 24

Holy shit it's been over a year since I posted one of these but it's because I kept setting myself up for failure by putting way too high of expectations on myself to crank out 10 new and unique and helpful tips everytime I got 100 new followers except first it was 10 and then it was 50 and holy shit I got so stressed about these so I've just been writing them down as I've thought of them instead and now here we are, please be gentle.

Hello here are tips

1. Use transfer paper and a hair dryer to decorate candles.

Maybe you're doing a spell for someone & you want to put a picture of that person on the candle. This can be a way to help you better visualize the effects of the spell on the person the spell is for. Or maybe you need a picture on the candle for some other reason. Maybe you want to put pictures of coins on it for a money spell. Or hearts for a love spell. Simply print out whatever you want on transfer paper, cut it out & place the image face-down on the candle. Then, you'll want to get your hairdryer and a piece of tissue paper (I highly suggest the tissue paper is the same color as the candle, otherwise you risk getting that color onto the candle. Which can also be fine, but if it's not what you want...) use the blow dryer on a low-warm setting to melt the photo onto the candle side. Remove the tissue paper and there you have it! A picture printed onto a candle.

2. You can incorporate witchcraft into ANYTHING... even brushing your teeth.

I recently got this fucking delicious toothpaste from Trader Joe's. I'm one of those people who sometimes struggles to brush my teeth twice a day because I hate the taste of toothpaste. So I got a super unconventional toothpaste flavor instead, "fennel, propolis, & Myrrh. And about a week after using it, it struck me -holy shit these ingredients have meaning behind them. Most obviously, myrrh is associated with wisdom and meditation. And fennel has been used in magic for centuries! Even if you use regular mint toothpaste, that ingredient has power behind it! Obviously this goes more so for natural toothpastes but I'm sure you can find a way to enchant other varieties as well! Use the ingredients already infused into your toothpaste for enchantments & glamours!

3. Actually study your grimoire.

If I sound at all harsh by saying this, it's only because I'm being harsh with myself too. Study your grimoire. Don't just write everything down & then expect to have it all perfectly memorized & be a master in everything you research. Reread it. Rework it. Learn.

4. Feel drawn to be a sea witch but you don't live by the ocean? Get a saltwater aquarium!

First off, I'm not saying that it's a flawless solution. Being a witch of the sea is more than just using salty fish water in your craft. HOWEVER, with that out of the way, there's no way that a salt water aquarium will harm your craft as a sea witch. Think of it like a houseplant for a green witch. Sure, living in the forest would be better but it's still something special to be able to bring a little piece of your craft into your home.

5. Personal taglocks make a spell more powerful, but exercise caution when using them.

Undoubtedly, using a taglock (such as a strand of hair) can better connect you to the spells you're performing, but they're not always wise to use. I only use them in extremely personal spells and crafts. Things that no one except for me can have access to. I would never suggest using a taglock on something that you wish to give another person (especially another witch) such as a spell bottle or sachet. Even if you're best friends. Even if you're siblings. Even if you're MARRIED. You never know when a relationship can turn south or what someone is capable of when they're extremely angry with you. Don't risk it.

6. Be respectful of the deities that you don't worship or work with

I don't work with deities. Shocker, I know. I have my own belief system when it comes to higher powers that I won't get into on Tumblr, probably ever. But I do believe in showing respect to all things, both living, dead, & otherwise specified. If a deity approaches you who you're not interested in working with, please remain kind & respectful with in declination. You're allowed to say no to anyone and everyone.

7. Just because someone is more experienced doesn't necessarily mean they're always right.

Without naming names or being too specific, there was a witch I followed on Tumblr for a long time. They were much older than me and had been a witch for like 20+ years. I followed everything they said as fact. But slowly, over time I started to learn more and realized I didn't always agree with them. They were SO negative. If they heard basically anything new that younger witches were coming up with, they'd have a whole 10 paragraph post about how "stupid and wrong and ridiculous and fake" these new witches were. There was not an ounce of open mindedness with this person. And because of that, I started to feel really bad about myself and my craft. Things they said would stick with me and I'd feel so shitty about it. Well fuck. That. More experience means absolutely nothing if the person is unwilling to learn or expand their minds beyond their previous knowledge. Anyone can learn and anyone can teach. Age means nothing. Surround yourself with open minded people.

8. Put full moon water into your humidifier to charge your space.

This is an idea that only just occurred to me while I was setting up my crystals & jar of water to charge under the full blue moon on Samhain. I always turn my glowing humidifier on at night while I sleep. As I watched the mist begin to arise out the top I thought to myself, 'if I'm charging that water (the glass jar on my altar) for the full moon, why not this water too?' So now, I just add a little splash of full moon water into my humidifier water whenever I'm performing rituals or doing spell work. This way, the full moon water can charge my entire bedroom with the power of the full moon as I work.

Speaking of...

9. You can charge water under more moon phases than just full.

I don't know if that wording was weird or not so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. My point is, I always see people talking about moon water as if it's only full moon water. The moon holds power in every phase she goes through. Adding to the above tip, you can put new moon water into your humidifier to cleanse your space. Waxing moon water to help you plan and focus. And waning moon water to assist during a banishment spell. Hell yeah dude, all phase of the moon are useful and powerful!

10. Incense matches are a great alternative to full incense sticks

I love burning incense, but sometimes it can really overwhelm the area, especially because my house is small & I dont want to expose my cat to it. Incense matches are literally matches that are covered in incense powder. They burn for just a few minutes & produce a steady stream of smoke for spells. They come in a bunch of different scents. I buy them locally for 30 matches for $1.05USD but you can probably find them cheaper online. Still be sure to keep them away from pets & those who are smoke-sensitive.

Thank you so much for reading, follow me for more #10tips, search my blog for the previous 230 tips, & have a magical day.

[tenitchyfingers]

Like holy shit nobody is saying cis people are the most oppressed by JKR, we KNOW her prime targets are trans people and that’s why a lot of us dropped her. When former fans talk about her betrayal all we mean is that we grew up on something that we thought came from a compassionate and awesome person and then we found out she was NOT that. Like a lot of us learnt to love reading BECAUSE of Harry Potter. A lot of us have great memories of reading those books as kids and lots of us met a lot of friends through HP. Not everything needs to be framed around systematic oppression, especially when you talk about subjective feelings and memories. Am I gonna engage with her shit again? Hell no. People are more important than fiction. But fuck off if you’re gonna shame us for talking about hey, it’s really fucked up how we spent so much of our formative years loving something made by a giant bigot. Because that is betrayal. Fuck I remember looking at JKR as some sort of “motherly figure” when I was really tiny and young, before reading more advanced books. Because HP was important to me, and I bet it was really important to many other people too. Also, what fiction does really well is provide a basic form of escapism that can help in tough times in life. Is escapism the best form of self-help? No. But for some of us, it helps carrying on. And HP was that, for a long time, before we had to give it up because the author fucked it up for everybody. The emotional connections you make with the things you enjoyed as a kid are very strong for people, especially people who grew up traumatized. Hell, shit, I was going through abuse while reading about Harry being abused, although the circumstances were different. This was a kid who had to be feeling so alone while being abused, before Hagrid barged in his life and guess what? I was going through that, and was feeling just as alone. Am I trying to make you sympathize or whatever? No. I’m explaining that growing up with something like that and finding deep emotional comfort in it and then finding out that the person who made the thing is a cruel fucking piece of shit just SUCKS. And I can say it. Anyone who has an idea what that was like has EVERY right to say it, without doing the fucking oppression olympics every fucking time. YEA we know she’s hurting you more. We respect that. But she hurt everyone who’s compassionate to real humans. She hurt her entire fanbase, she hurt everyone who grew up with her fucking books and grew up learning compassion. She’s been hurting EVERYONE. More or less, it doesn’t MATTER. That’s not what we’re talking about. I will always support trans people against her bigotry. But I was a kid when I was her fan. Hell, a LOT of us were just kids, and we didn’t know any better, and some of us grew up in conservative environments to boot. It’s a fucking MESS. And that just means I’m not supporting her anymore. None of us is going to.

The whole point is, she hurt all of us. That is ALL we’re saying. Stop attacking us for saying something as simple as “JKR’s betrayal really cut deep big time and she ruined it for everyone”. If you were too young to have grown up on HP before she went mask off or if you were never a fan and can’t relate, please shut the fuck up. Your opinions aren’t required nor wanted on this topic.

Jesus Christ, the replies to that HP post are literal cancer dude

[bettyfrancis]

please share your fic recs, the hannibal tag is a minefield...

well this is my bookmark tag and wow, surprise, every single last one of them is explicit! love that. good for them

and just to be clear, because i get the feeling everyone's reasoning behind ao3 being a minefield is very different. i do not mind when they are evil, kill others, or each other — i just hate bad dialogue!

recs under the cut............. here be dragons etc etc

And So I Raise Me Up From Sleep by bendingsignpost (E)

this was one of the first ones i saw recced a lot, and i initially really did not like any fics that took place in the midst of will having encephalitis, so i stopped reading — revisited later and holy shit. this fic is very hard to follow at first but once you get into the flow you realize it's all by design. cannot recommend this enough, i cried my eyes out at the end.

The Here Trilogy, but esp the last part: Morning by Petronia (E)

post-fall learning to love each other — very well written, and hannibal POV which is my fave 🤪i also really enjoyed most of this author's other stuff, but this one was definitely my favorite

le génie du mal by Ajaxthegreat (E)

batshit insane season one au where will finds out. they try to kill each other in the kitchen.

one more kiss before we turn the lights off by akadefenders aka snailmailthings (E)

hannibal breaks out of prison and comes to will's house while his family is away. absolutely delightful. the characterization in this is so good, it's sexy, and somehow is all about will abandoning his life with molly but is still respectful to her?

here in the deepening blue by honeybeebear (E)

missing scenes fic between arriving at the cliff house and the final scene of twotl. my bookmark just says "damn shawty okay!!!!"

Imago by emungere (E)

"From this prompt: Imagine Hannibal Lecter shaving Will’s stubble with an old school straight razor." what more needs to be said, ya know. all of this author's fics are amazing, especially Two Solitudes and Blackbird but i thought i'd give this short scene a lil shout out because those two have been recced to death

a thousand teeth, and yours among them by gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe), printersdeadly, printersdevils (tuesdaysgone) (E)

new orleans detective au where hannibal is still a surgeon, super fun, well plotted! this author team really gets characterization right in all their stuff. another one i quite liked was a better resurrection which is another au but will is in divinity school and meets hannibal at a rare book shop. as far as au's go, these two were my favorites

Scratch Away the Doubt by miasmatik (E)

my bookmark says: "demented evil insane. love it" — basically will ACTUALLY kills freddie and uh, they do it in front of her ... corpse. don't say i didn't warn you

This Dangerous Game by MissDisoriental (E)

super fucking long jack the ripper victorian au — i read this while i was on vacation and had a great time. it's easy to read, fun, and weaves in the show plot in a really enjoyable way! i've seen this recced before but i'm adding it here because i don't normally enjoy novel-length fanfiction and somehow this one really worked for me, so i think it deserves a spot again.

okay well. there they are! have fun, read the tags, etc etc

[obeiii-mee]

Could I request the brothers (and maybe Diavolo, if you're comfortable) reacting to a knightly/chivalrous m/c, please?

———————————————————

I haven’t written Diavolo in a hot minute, I’m glad he’s being requested again. I’m guessing you mean an MC with the attributes of a knight? The same sort of mannerisms and traits and not an actual knight! MC? Lemme know if I did this ask wrong because I was low key confused lmao.

———————————————————

The Brothers + Diavolo with a knightly/chivalrous MC:

Lucifer:

-He really didn’t like you upon first meeting

-He hated how he couldn’t intimidate you into not being a nuisance the way he could with most of his brothers

-But, to be honest, you had gained his respect rather early on

-I think, even though it may have annoyed him to no end, Lucifer was very fond of your bravery a lot of the times

-The way you would stand up for Mammon or that time you protected Beel and Luke from his outburst

-Courage is not a trait one would usually associate with humans, especially when more superior beings like demons are involved

-Your humility was also a characteristic of yours that he, surprisingly, was really fond of

-And your overall mercifulness was something to be congratulated as well

-I mean, him and his brothers put you through so much shit and for you to forgive and move on without an angry word at any of them kinda speaks on its own

-I think he understands, to an extent, the reason you’re so loyal to the people you care about too

-He has a certain devotion for Lord Diavolo and his brothers, more than he lets on

-To him, having someone like you around is something to be appreciated

-Because you are similar but also completely different and nothing like he deemed you to be at the beginning

-yo i think you remind him of himself back when he was angel tbh

-He’s sort of tired of saving your ass tho because you are very just, so you feel the need to help people all the time which leads to you getting involved in fights

-Bring him his 20th cup of coffee for the day please, it’s hard being a single father of 8 children (yes I’ve added Lord Diavolo he counts as one of the kids)

-He’s the definition of this incorrect quote I stumbled across a while back

- MC: “FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW!”

-Lucifer, from behind them “ Do not.”

Mammon:

-Ok so this random human comes to DevilDom and has the audacity to slap his hand away while he’s trying to steal from Diavolo’s castle????????

-“MC ya’re forgetting I’m a demon, my moral scale is wayyy different than yours-“

-“Put it back.”

-“......ok.”

-You’re coming at him with rightfulness and honor and your presence is gonna hit him like a truck

-Cuz he ain’t stealing anything when you’re around (lucifer uses this to his advantage ofc.)

-That was basically the only thing he disliked about you

-Other than that, after your first week in DevilDom, he thinks you’re a goddamn S A I N T

-Everytime you stand up for him when his brothers are being assholes-pls he melts into a puddle of goo from your perfection

-OOFFS AND ALL THOSE TIMES YOU GAVE HIM GIFTS BECAUSE GENEROSITY BBY

-Good thing he was wearing sunglasses, because holy fuck was he weeping under those Gucci shades

-He’s gonna give ya props for having the courage to stand up to him and his brothers

-Lucifer especially because big bro scary

-Think about it like this: literally every single one of them could have you seasoned and roasted for lunch, love

-And yet you still have the bravery to look them in the eye and tell them: “Ya’ll are dysfunctional as fuck and need family therapy.”

-Again, he doesn’t understand your morale, he’s the Avatar of Greed, if he sees something he likes or seems worthy of his presence, he takes it

-But with that look you’re giving him, he honestly feels so guilty he can’t help but put it back

-He also appreciates your patience with him when it comes to anything that involves him talking about his emotions and thought process

-Because at this point he is widely known as scum so-

-Ahhhh, in the end, he thinks you’re pretty badass for a human and would low key want to see you in an armour of sorts agajwhisebhwjwwhehgdhdh

-And he really likes it when you make the effort to open doors for him too but he’ll never have the nerve to admit it

Levi:

-Believe it or not, he warms up to you in less than a day...?

-It’s probably because he’s a navy commander and he’s used to having soldiers around and you sort of remind him of that

-Out of everyone, he reacts the least when he sees how you carry yourself because to him it’s second nature

-Even if he does tend to slouch most of the time

-Almost dropped to his knees and started worshiping you when you yelled at Mammon to give Levi his money back on your first day

-And then a friendship started to blossom (im not friendzoning y’all, relax)

-Levi has a tendency to just walk into your room with his laptop, point at the screen which is paused in the middle of an anime and go “Look, the protagonist is a knight. You’re also...really knightly. I like the protagonist. I, uh I like you too, I guess.”

-He loves how honest you are because he knows that no matter what you wouldn’t lie to him

-“MC, do you think I’m a yucky otaku?”

-“No.”

-“But-“

-“No.”

-“Oh ok.”

-But on the inside he’s like 🥰🥰💞💞💞💞

-I just think that a knightly MC would connect on an emotional level with Levi for a lot of reasons, idk

-He’s gonna be a sputtering mess when he realises how much effort you put into this relationship (platonic or romantic) and how loyal you are to it

-Like how you actually bother learning all of his stupid passwords because you are just as serious about them as he is

-He just crashed, give him a moment to reboot please

Satan:

-He takes a while to warm up to you because for some reason your overall demeanour reminded him of Lucifer lol

-He thought you might be just as stuck up as him

-It didn’t take him longer than a week or so to come to the sudden realisation that you are way more pleasant than his brother

-Like his daddy, you manage to earn his respect pretty quickly after that

-He just thought the way you handled everything that was thrown at you in DevilDom was very sophisticated but firm nonetheless, if that makes sense?

-Like, you weren’t itching to escalate fights or anything but your tone of voice could easily end a whole conversation if need be

-You were still a human of course, it would be real easy for some low rank demon to kidnap you or something

-But for some reason, your confidence seemed to intimidate a few of the weaker ones into leaving you alone

-Obviously, that didn’t mean you were completely safe or anything

-There were still others that could effortlessly overpower you

-Even so, Satan found it sort of reassuring that unlike some humans, you weren’t one to back down without a confrontation

-Don’t get me started on all those times you rebelled against Lucifer, because that’s what truly got him to get to know you better

-He found you pretty interesting and then that interest sort of evolved into actual fondness

-Another thing that caught his eye was that even though you have very strong feelings about justice and fairness, you are completely level headed most of the time

-And patience, while it’s something he can manage, is the one that he has been trying to control for centuries

-He learned a lot from you about behaviour, whether you intentionally taught it to him or not

-And if there is one thing Satan thinks highly of; it would be knowledge

-Therefore, from that point onward, your existence was so much more precious to him than your soul could ever be

Asmo:

-What can I say about our sweet Asmo?

-You could have the personality of a trashcan and he’d still love you

-You were so polite and honourable from the beginning to the point you managed to get the attention of the Avata of Lust himself????

-He thought you were pretty hot basically

-hoWEVER

-Your righteousness always sort of nagged him because he low-key believed Diavolo snuck in another angel into the program, I-

-And for some reason, your loyalty to everyone in general ticked him off immensely at the beginning

-Mainly because he recognised that’s one of the traits he lacks entirely and he came to the conclusion that he needs to revaluate himself on that one

-He is so desperate for your attention, he will tattle on his brothers just to get you to yell at them and then comfort him

-“MCCCCC, MAMMON STOLE MY NEWEST MAKE UP KIT AND IS ABOUT TO SELL IT ON AKUZON!”

-he is so petty istg

-Your nobility still catches him off guard every now and then

-Because you’ve been living with demons for so long and yet you’re still, theoretically speaking, pure?? get your head out of the gutter people

-He probably applauds you on the fact that you can even scare Lucifer on some occasions because imagine having a scarier death glare than the eldest prince of hell

-Asmo will personally buy you clothes that he thinks suit your “aesthetic” (wtf Asmo)

-Might’ve bought you a sword and then got shouted at by Lucifer because oops turns out it was cursed

-Again, supportive mom vibes

-“MC, do you know how stunning you look strutting around with that confidence of yours? Don’t get me started on your posTURE!”

-You pulled a chair for him once and he practically swooned lmao

Beel:

-He figures you’re really nice from the start

-Mostly because you kept running errands and opening doors for him even though he let it slip that he might lose control and eat you

-Like most brothers, he finds you comforting in a way

-Beel appreciates your honesty to him too because he can count on you to tell him when he’s doing something wrong

-And he sort of needs the validation that even though he blames himself for a lot of things that took place in the past, his brothers and you are more than ready to forgive him (even if they didn’t blame him to begin with)

-Rather than respect, Beel puts a lot of trust into you, which I would believe to be more intimate

-If it’s just the two of you hanging out, he has an easier time opening up about Lilith because he knows you would never judge him and respect his feelings enough to let him get it out of his system

-You always share your food with him and give him a bigger portion and he goes so soft-

-Like who allowed you to be this generous?

-Tbh, he thinks it’s sort of refreshing having someone like you around

-Beel has been surrounded by demons for millenniums now and he’s gotten used to their...uh ‘evilness’

-Ever since you got dropped off in DevilDom, you really stood out with your nobility and morals

-It was like a breath of fresh air in a way

-He may or may not believe you’re a good influence on his siblings-if you can even influence demons of all things

-I’m not saying he invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism, but he definitely invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism

Belphie:

-“Out of all the humans they could’ve chosen, they picked the most annoying one, oH MY FUCKING GO-I MEAN DAD-“

-You go up to the attic that one night after tricking Lucifer into vibing to some classical TSL tunes

-He spotted you and was immediately irritated

-Like, he KNEW you were going to be a pain in the ass just by judging your posture and how you carried yourself (very knightly)

-At the start, he’s even hesitant to lie to you because he had a suspicion you wouldn’t buy his bs

-(Spoiler alert: you didn’t but you went with it either way)

-It takes a while for you to forgive him when he literally fucking kills you because that was rude af but you got over it in time

-AFTER of the whole ‘Sorry-for-choking-you-can-we-be-friends-now’ incident, you still get on his nerves a lot but at this point, he believes that’s his punishment for being a murderous dickhead

-You don’t really piss him off tho, you just confuse him a lot

-Why are you so polite? You keep pulling chairs and opening doors for him??? Why are you treating him like royalty?? Stop it, he doesn’t want to be like Lord Diavolo (he def likes it when you do that)

-Pls stop dragging the poor man to breakfast, he just wants to sleep in-

-He doesn’t understand how you’re always one time for everything

-My dude tries to wake up 20 minutes early to get somewhere in time and he is still 2 hours late

-sTOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR IDEALS ONTO HIM, HE’S A LITTLE SHIT WHO ENJOYS WATCHING PEOPLE SUFFER

-All the same, you’re a very forgiving person so he’s just grateful you don’t hate him or anything

-And in the end, it doesn’t really matter how much your chivalry and righteousness and all of that pisses him off every now and then

-Because he can’t deny the fact that you brought him and his brothers the peace they needed

-And he so loves it when you and Lucifer go head to head mhmm

Diavolo:

-This big tittied man right here takes a liking to you immediately

-A couple of days in DevilDom and he’s already inviting you for tea at his castle

-You managed to befriend the prince of hell faster than the demons you live with, huh

-He’s lonely ok? He loves having people over and having cozy chitchats

-Not to mention he thinks you’re such pleasant company!

-Most demons would be afraid to even say anything in his presence but you always speak your mind while continuing to be respectful and he’s so happy, you don’t understand-

-Only demons in close relations to Diavolo like Babrbatos and Lucifer actually know how much it takes for someone to anger him

-He doesn’t take offence to much lol

-And he’s really content that you acknowledged that

-He sometimes visits you in his spare time just to talk and hang out since Lucifer is a big meanie who doesn’t want to indulge him and Barbatos is busy making him dinner >:(

-SPEAKING OF- if you and Barbatos don’t bond then i don’t know what to tell you

-I mean, you would both have so many things in common (strong sense of loyalty, honesty, just in a way etc.)

-You’re his favourite guest to have over at the palace, sorry Luci you’ve been replaced

-He genuinely finds you interesting as well so please tell him stories from the human realm!! He’s dying to learn more!

-Diavolo notices you demeanour sort of gives off warrior vibes so-

-He really considered making you into a knight bc it’s Diavolo-what he says; goes

-“I know they’re human but they’ll be fine. Look how tough they are! They managed to survive a year with you and your brothers didn’t they?”

-“My Lord, that doesn’t amount to anything, please don’t get our human killed-“