#please i need answers and im meant to be asleep

[mymomsaiditwasaphase]

So like, how does Raphael have a Brooklyn accent when the turtles are in Manhattan?

[mickyschumacher]

Im not sure if your request are open but if they are- a fic with Lando based off the song lose control by Teddy swims. Angst and smut, the whole works😩

But if your request are not open and you see this I hope you have an amazing day/night 🫶

(also I absolutely love your writing. Binge read majority of them the first day I got tumblr and I’m obsessed)

𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋  .ೃ࿐

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you and lando had ended things on a good note... or so you thought. you didn't expect to find him at your front door begging for a second chance. or in which lando doesn't know when to give up.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ (minor dni), mentions of magui (not a fan of what she's done but this is fiction), angst, jealousy, cheesy confessions, unprotected sex (pretty please use protection), teasing, slight-public roleplay? breast play, eating out, fingering, oral sex, p in v, cumming inside, mentions of crashing, technically infidelity on lando's part, poor humour, fluff, and poor proofreading.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: ex-fwb!lando norris x fem!reader, special appearances: magui corceiro and joão felix.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 9k+

𝐀/𝐍: first of all so sorry for taking this up so late! my bad... but it's done! in time for my 2k special! yes that's right, there are two thousands of you little buggers reading my work! i'm ever so grateful, especially because i'm the most inconsistent person i know! thank you for putting up with me, for reading my work, and for your cute little comments. they all make me very happy in such a tough time i've been going through. sending you my ever grateful love from the bottom of my heart ♡︎ p.s it's my 100th post shocker!

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

⋆  •°.  。  .°•  ⋆

"I miss you."

Lando's voice was always like this. Slightly croaky and brittle yet warm and full of need. For you it was a sort of drug. It always pulled you in, it blurred the line between wrong and right, and you always came back for more. And when it was paired with those brown tinged blue eyes of his and all the freckles on his face, you were a goner.

"Lando," you sighed, leaning on your door frame. It was one in the morning. You were asleep but ever so gracefully woken up to the consistent ring of your doorbell. You rubbed your face with an exhaustion not familiar to your slumber but familiar to the antics of Lando himself. The words fell from your lips in an eased flow. "You can't be here. You don't miss me. You need to leave."

You tried to avoid his pained eyes but everywhere you looked, you met them in some shape or form.

"But I do miss you. I miss everything about you. Your smile, your lips, your body, your laugh, fuck, everything."

You blinked slowly, wondering how you had got here. How is it that the decisions and choice you made in life lead to Lando Norris pleading at your front door at one in the morning?

Ah...

There was an answer to that.

As the story goes, around a year ago, you were with Lando. 'With' was a loose term. It was supposed to be friends with benefits. You had been for almost a year by that point. Naturally, the only rule to being friends with benefits was to not fall in love with each other. And as natural as that rule was, there was a common saying: 'Rules are meant to be broken.'

You and Lando both realised it. But it terrified you the most. You weren't cut out for this. Things were already hard enough as it was sneaking around.

Travelling on the private jets, facing the media and the public, having to watch Lando race every weekend and pray for him wellbeing... it wasn't exactly your cup of tea. It was exactly why you were friends with benefits in the first place.

So you ended it. Lando wasn't happy about it but he respected it.

That was the end of your story.

Or so you thought.

"Lan, you're in a relationship. For fuck's sake, please can you consider her at least?"

Lando ran a hand through his dark mop of curls, sighing while holding back the eye roll at the mention of his intricately created PR relationship. He knew you were right. You often were. But you weren't understanding him. He didn't think you ever could, no matter how much he tried to explain it to you.

You and him... you were made for each other. He knew it from the bottom of his heart. You were perfect. Together, you were perfect. There was no one like you. And for him, there was no one else. Not ever. No matter who he dated or who he was with, he'd be damned if there was someone else other than you.

Lando's tongue poked his cheek, eyes firmly on you. "Are you coming this Sunday? In the evening?"

This race weekend was the Silverstone circuit and in the same day, afterwards, was a dinner party with the drivers, families, and friends. In other words, it was a recipe for disaster.

"I don't think I should..." you trailed off, internally wincing when you knew deep down you should've just said you weren't coming rather than being open to it. When it came to the blue-eyed boy in front of you, any assertiveness you ever had was thrown out the window.

Lando reached to grab your hands, fingers automatically rubbing smooth circles into your skin. "Please come," he pleaded, "if not for me, come for mum and dad, hmm? They miss having you around."

You pressed your lips together, eyes falling onto the floor as you began to chew your lip. "Lando, I can't come. It doesn't look good... for the both of–"

"She won't be there."

Your eyes flickered up to Lando, widening slightly at his words.

With an eager sharpe intake of air, he doubled down on his response. "If that's why you're saying no, she won't be there."

You tilted your head, giving him an almost dry look. "You know that's not even half of the reason." A sigh fell from your lips. "Go home, Lando. You've got practice tomorrow. You need sleep."

Lando's eyes softened. You always kept track of those small things for him, scolding him for not going to sleep early or not taking care of himself. It was like old times all over again. His grip around your hands tightened. "I will," He promised, "but tell me you're coming on Sunday. Please."

You cursed at yourself. It was that same voice. That one with so much need and desperation. It was as if a voice gained the ability to have puppy eyes.

Reluctantly, you nodded slowly. "Fine... I'll come," you relented.

A smile finally sprawled across Lando's face, hands moving to quickly bring you into a hug. His arms felt comfortable, bringing an ease you hadn't felt in over a year. "Thank you."

Your eyes widened when you felt a quick kiss on your cheek, still lingering after Lando parted. He grinned, taking a few steps back from you. "I'll see you Sunday. "

━━━━━━━━━━━

The Sunday jitters were real. You couldn't ever truly imagine how anyone of the drivers felt on race day but you imagined it to be something like this.

The way your heart was thumping, one would think you have an odd case of arrhythmia. You were working up a sweat masked by the anxious sprays of perfume you had lathered on and all you were doing was standing.

You hadn't watched the race in person because that was equally as idiotic as going to a brunch where the person you love and his family was despite him having a girlfriend. And you didn't want to be twice as idiotic. In the end, Lando had gotten a well-earned P3 at his home race, despite the mistakes of his team.

You were happy for him. But it didn't rule out the fact you were in a serious dilemma of awkwardness as you dawdled outside of the venue. Your fingers twirled around the fabric of your dress.

You shouldn't of worn it. It was Lando's favourite. You knew that.

Hell, you shouldn't be here.

You should go home.

It wasn't too late.

Your name abruptly sprung into the air. "Is that you?"

Well shit.

You took a slow turn on your feet, a sheepish smile automatically working its way onto your face. "Mr and Mrs Norris!" you greeted.

An amused huff fell from Lando's mother's mouth. "Please! You know you can call by our names!"

Somewhere in the back of your head, you could feel your mother's voice nagging you at the very thought of calling them by their names.

Cisca smiled, bringing you into a warm hug. "God, we've miss you!" Pulling away after a few seconds, she took another few to observe you. "You've become more beautiful since we last saw you, isn't that right, Adam?"

Lando's father chuckled. "Not more than you though," he teased only to get a playful elbow from his wife. He turned to you and grinned, reminding you exactly where Lando's came from. "The girls will be so happy to see you, sweetie. Oliver too."

You laughed gently, thanking them. Your mouth felt dry. Usually you knew what to say to them. But it had been so long, you weren't sure what to say. Whether it was right or wrong. How much Lando had even said...

"Lando was telling us how you've been busy studying, is that right? You've been doing your master's?" His father queried.

Speak of the devil...

You nodded slowly. "Yes. It's research based so it's quite, uh, time consuming. So I just wanted to put a year dedicated to it. That's why I haven't been around as much."

Both of his parents nodded in understanding. His mother pouted, "While it's been sad without you, I'm very proud of you. A bachelors is no easy feat let alone a master's!"

Your heart constricted while her soft eyes met yours. His mother was always like this. Talking you... treating you as if you were her daughter. You never understood it. You'd only known each other for a couple of years including the period were you and Lando were with each other.

You asked her a month before you had ended it with Lando how she knew you so well. Her response... you could've never forgotten it even if you willed it. '"A mother knows everything. What's good and bad for their children. You know it as mother's intuition. When I look at you, I just know."'

"'Know what?'" You remembered asking.

"How important you are to Lando."

And that was when you realised you were completely and utterly in love with him.

"If you two are done talking, we should finally go inside," Lando's father continued to tease.

You sucked in a sharp breath as you walked with his parents inside the venue.

It was definitely too late.

━━━━━━━━━━━

To be honest, Lando had seen many beautiful things in life. Life, if you looked at it carefully, perhaps on a slight angle, was beautiful. And besides, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

But the sight of you walking into the venue, arm linked with his own mother and you chatting with his father was forever etched into his brain.

He could've sworn his heart was leaping out of his chest. Everything about what he was seeing was perfect. Your smile, the atmosphere, the sun shining down on you, the sound of your laugh, your hair, the wind, the dress... God, he could go on and on.

"Lando! Look who we met outside!" His mother cheered making him grin.

"Well, well, well," Lando smiled, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek before hugging his father. He stepped back, blue eyes fixated on you. He stretched out his arms, waiting for a hug making you sigh and his parents laugh softly.

You took a step forward, reaching your hands to wrap around his back while Lando's own hands fell to your waist and brought you close. His classic Tom Ford perfume lingered around you as he whispered in your ear. "You came."

"I promised," you responded softly, pulling back only for him to tighten his grip on you. You suppressed an eye roll. "Congrats on P3. You did well."

Lando perked up at the mention of his race and finally pulled back. "You watched?"

"I–" Your voice was interrupted by another familiar Brit.

"Is that who I think it is?" Alex queried with his usual wide grin.

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. "Depends... is it the most prettiest girl? After Lily, of course."

Alex chuckled. "Is there any other answer?"

You pretended to ponder. "Nope! That's the one." You both laughed as you gave each other a hug.

"Where have you been? I needed someone to give me company on the tracks. It's been so lonely," He complained dramatically.

And without realising it, you were back to meeting everyone you hadn't seen in a long time. Weirdly enough, you missed this. Talking to everyone, joking around, just spending time with them... it gave you some sort of peace.

"Okay! Oscar, you're time's up," Lando announced, standing at the table you, Oscar and his girlfriend, Lily, were seated at.

Oscar gaped at his teammate. "But we only just met her!"

Lando gave a sickly sweet smile. "Aw... tough. Now scram!"

You shook your head as you watched the couple leave the table. "You are the worst," you said, leaning on your arm while Lando took a seat next to you.

"I haven't seen you in so long! Sue me for wanting to spend time with you," Lando shrugged in his defence, blue eyes trained on you.

You blinked, averting your eyes to the rest of the party. "I going to get some champagne," you murmured, standing up to go the table full of various spirits and juices.

You cursed silently as you caught Lando following after you from your peripheral. Arriving to the table, your fingers danced around, looking for the right glass of bubbles.

"You're ignoring me," Lando stated, hot breath skimming past your ear as he stood inches away from you.

You kept your eyes on the alcohol, letting a small laugh fall from your lips. "Gee, has anyone ever told you that you're a smart cookie, Lando"?

Lando pursed his lips. "I miss you."

You sighed at the familiar words, fingers wrapping around a glass of what you were pretty sure was Dom Perignon leisurely being given. "Lando... stop it. I came here because you wanted me to, okay? Just forget about whatever it is you're thinking about."

You sucked in a sharp breath when you felt Lando's hand travel to yours, fingers just hanging on to each other. You hated how his touch made you feel so... so tingly. As if you were having your first crush.

"So that's why you wore this dress? To tell me to stop? Because I wanted you here?" He laughed softly, playing with your fingers. He shook his head. "I can't even imagine what you'd do if I told you every single thought running through my head right now."

Your eyes widened. You shakily put back the glass of champagne.

"Lan–" Your voice cut off upon the feeling of his fingers trailing at the back of your neck. You gulped while Lando's voice continued to linger.

"How much of a mistake do you think this really is? Wearing my favourite dress? Don't think I haven't seen that necklace on you. Let's turn that pendant around and show everyone who's name is on it, hmm?"

Your eyes widened. Shit. You had completely forgotten about the necklace. You had spent all your time using it on the front side that you had forgotten about his initial's engraved on the back.

Lando's tongue trailed over his bottom lip, head tilting to the side. "Sweetheart, I'm torn. You have no idea how gorgeous you look. But you have no idea how much I would give... what I would do to take you home right now. That dress would be off and my fingers would be on you. Fuck, just imagining it, I–"

"Lando!"

You and Lando both furrowed your brows, chests heaving breathlessly. You definitely didn't say his name nor did you sound like that. Turning your head slightly, the view made you take wide steps back from Lando.

Lando mended his brows even more, only smoothing them when he saw what you had seen. "B-Baby!" The endearment failed to come out of his mouth smoothly, making you wince.

You watched Lando hug the blonde girl in front of you. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Brazil?" He asked, only just covering up his sheer curiosity.

"I was but I wanted to surprise you... so surprise!"

A surprise... yes it was.

You blinked as the blonde turned to you, extended her hand, and introduced herself. Awkwardly, you returned the kind gesture because ultimately she had done nothing wrong to you.

You introduced yourself as Lando's old friend because it was the safest bet. And it was the truth... to some degree.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Lando asked his girlfriend as a queasy feeling began to form in your stomach. You think you can hear her respond, settling for a glass. You weren't sure. Your ears were tuning in and out of this noise. Out of your peripheral you see the driver turn to you. "Did you still want your champagne?"

You let out a low exhale and gave the both of them a tight smile. "It's okay. I was just leaving."

The smile on Lando's face dropped. "W-What? Already?"

You nodded curtly. "Lots of things to do."

Lando narrowed his eyes. "Like what? It's barely seven... the day's almost over..."

Your eyes widened, feeling startled as an awkward laugh fell from his girlfriend's lips. "Lan, the girl said she has things to do. Stop grilling her. Sorry... must be the post-race adrenaline or something. It's a shame you can't stick around though. See you around?"

You gave a small smile, slightly irritated at how genuine and sweet she was. You actually wished there was something about her to hate. "Yeah," You agreed softly, "See you around."

━━━━━━━━━━━

About thirty minutes had passed since you left the dinner party, much to everyone's dismay.

You were exhausted.

You only just had the energy to take off your heels and put aside your purse before you fell onto your bed. Sighing, you stared at the ceiling. What even was life anymore?

You couldn't believe yourself. You were so angry and pissed off at Lando and you were jealous of his girlfriend.

There wasn't any rocket science to it. You were still very much in love with Lando. You shouldn't be but you were.

Your mother once told you that love wasn't black and white. It was the blurred line between: it was grey. It was never as simple as being in love or not. You fall in love and fall out of it and just as you did, you would fall once again but with someone else entirely. And sometimes it compelled idiotic things like infidelity or rebounds.

Love was also seasonal. It changed all the time and sometimes you enjoyed it and sometimes it made you suffer. It was entirely demanding. It drove people crazy. It was overwhelming and yet so lonely.

Point in case: love sucked.

And you and Lando had not escaped from it.

You weren't sure if you ever could.

But you had to. It was the right thing to do. Maintaining boundaries was the right way to go.

You blew some air up to your face, pushing the hair out of your face. Nodding to yourself, you told yourself you were getting over Lando.

You sat straight at the sound of your doorbell ringing throughout your house. Begrudgingly you walked towards the door, a hundred percent sure it was your neighbour a floor down. She was a sweet, quiet old lady who fit the 'crazy cat lady' persona a bit too well. Often, she came to you asking if you had seen a cat of hers but the worst part was that all of her cats were the tabby orange type. How she could tell the difference was beyond you, no more than how exactly the cats were using elevators and opening fire exits to get to your floor.

Without thinking too much, you opened the door to greet the lady but all the words you had ever known fell to the air upon seeing Lando.

"Lando," you took a calm deep breath, "Please tell me I'm hallucinating or that you're not actually in front of my door right now."

"I can't do that," Lando said, eyes burning with something a bit too familiar.

Wordlessly, you begun closing the door. But the jutted foot of Lando's quickly intercepted the act. "Please," Lando pleaded, coming into your apartment.

You let out a distressed sigh as you hear the door close. "Lando, you can't be here. You're supposed to be at a dinner party. With your friends... family, with your girlfriend, oh my God, with your freaking girlfriend, Lando."

"But you're the only one on my mind," Lando breathed, watching you walk around your house. His arm reached out to your waist, stopping your endless rounds of circles. He could feel you take a sharp intake of air, standing still at his touch. Holding you close, his lips lingered near your ear while his warmth enveloped you.

"I think I'm going crazy," he murmured. "You're in my dreams. Even when I look at her, I see your face. You're fucking everywhere, sweetheart."

You pursued your lips together. "Why do you have to make things so difficult?" you asked quietly, not to Lando in particular but to the silence of your house.

"Then tell me... that you don't want me here. That you don't feel the same way. Tell me... tell me you don't love me. Then I'll leave. I promise."

"I–" you paused, turning your body to him. You could feel his eyes searching your face but you couldn't even lift your head up. "I don't love you."

A lengthy silence ensued and it spoke volumes.

Finally, a soft chuckle from Lando's lips broke the silence. "You can't even look me in the eye and tell me that."

You threw your head back with an exhausted sigh, giving up. Your hands began to flail about. "What more do you want from me, Lando? Why can't you just leave me, us, alone?"

Lando's hand travelled to your jaw, pulling you in a mere inch away from his face. His grip was soft and warm, lulling you. "I can't leave you alone... I can't ever leave you alone. You don't get it," a cry of frustration fell from his lips while his eyes watered, "You were made for me and I was made for you. You... you are all I ever think about. I can't breathe without you. I exist for you. I am so fucking in love with you, it scares me. And i-if you tell me you love me, I'll break up with her right now."

Your eyes burned with an all but familiar salty liquid. "Lando... I can't."

Lando clenched his jaw. His voice was so quiet, a crack away from breaking entirely. "Why? Why can't you just admit that you're in love with me?"

"Because I'm terrified!"

You feel Lando's hand fall from your jaw while his brows furrowed, asking you what you were talking about. Your cheeks were flushed with heat while your fingers dug rested on your hips, digging into your flesh. You took in a shaky breath.

"I can't do this life, Lan. I can't be away from you all the time and travel with you all the time. I'm not another girl on your arm for the media. And I really can't watch you race. Every time I watch you race... I, " you blew air into your cheeks, "I watch with a sick stomach. Every spin, every crash... I always just think.. God, if something happened to you. If I love you..."

Lando fell silent. For the first time in a long time, he had nothing to say to you. All he had were the fresh tears quietly leaking out of his eyes. He blinked rapidly, using his arm to wipe off the rest of his silent sobbing. Stepping forward, with the soft pad of his thumb, he collected the tears you hadn't realised were falling.

Lando cleared his throat, breathing in while he rested his hand on your cheek, rubbing soft circles into your skin. "Ever since I met you, before I even realised I was in love with you, I've spent every race thinking about you. You're my first thought when those lights go off and the last when that flag waves. You don't know it but you are the only thing that makes me feel truly safe. And I would fight the world if it meant that you could openly love me back."

A singular tear made it's way down your face, seeping into the pores of your skin as Lando pressed a long kiss on your cheek before quietly leaving towards the door. Before entirely leaving, he stopped in his tracks. "I'm not giving up on us. I told you before. I could never leave you."

━━━━━━━━━━━

It had been a month since you and Lando had talked... whatever that was out.

The promise he had made before leaving your house that day was one he was persistent in pursuing. You knew Lando. He was stubborn. Often, what he wanted, he got.

You tried to avoid him. But the good morning and good night messages you received every day despite his ever-changing time zones still reached you. You spent the first three days ignoring them but the guilt with each passing day got heavier.

In a way, it felt like you were restarting your friendship. Taking things slow. Except the odd times that reminded you it was anything but. In particular Lando's 'drunk on horniness' messages or the sudden love confessions that popped out of thin air.

Things were... steadyish.

It was the only reason you had accepted Carlos' extended invitation to join him and the other's at a nightclub. You couldn't lie. Of course, Lando was at the forefront of your brain when you accepted. A part of you was curious.

How was he holding up?

Whether he was still with his girlfriend...

Were his plans on not giving up on you limited to his consistent texts?

But alas, as life usually worked, things did not go the way you planned.

While most of the drivers steered clear of the alcohol aside from their podiums, a practice Lando often took somewhat seriously, he was seriously considering breaking at the sight of you. More specifically, the sight of you and João Felix, the famed five-star FIFA player, mingling.

Lando who wasn't starving for any spirits was ready to down a few shots. But instead, he was completely sober, not a lick of alcohol in him, watching João, the ex-boyfriend of his own girlfriend chat you up.

Lando couldn't exactly blame the athlete. He would've done the same thing: the fixated eyes as you talked, the ear-to-ear smile when you laughed, the seamless checking out when you turned to take a sip of your drink or talk to someone nearby because Lando was a hundred percent sure you were the most gorgeous person in the room.

But he could blame João's pettiness. Lando had his ex and now he was going after you. In way, he rated it. But Lando knew you too well.

You were not interested in the player at all. The tight smiles, the absentminded nods, the readiness to jump into a conversation with literally anyone else... you were practically inviting Lando for a talk.

You could feel yourself freeze at the sight of Lando and his girlfriend walk over to the both of you. The air, all of a sudden, felt thick, fogging up your brain. You weren't quite sure what to say. This odd intertwining history between the four of you was nauseating.

"João," Lando greeted with a fake cheer. Magui, his girlfriend, gave a tight smile that bordered on pissed off – you knew the look all too well.

The football player gave a loose grin, shaking Lando's hand. "Lando... Magui," he sucked in a sharp breath. "Oh! Have you guys met yet?" He asked, brown eyes moving to you as he introduced you to the couple.

The three of you blinked at the dry sarcasm underpinning João's voice. You let a small laugh fall past your lips. "We have, actually. I'm Lando's old friend and Magui and I met not so long ago."

Lando gave you a pointed look. "You are way too down to earth. She's a special old friend," he corrected, grinning at João.

You pursed your lips awkwardly as the two Portugueses raised their eyes brows. You raised your hand to rub the nape of your neck nervously. "Uh, well, no... just old friend will do. Always the funny one, huh, Lando?" You murmured with a forced laugh.

To be honest, as the silence began to build, you were surprised to even hear Magui's voice. "I'm sorry..." she started, arm darting out to grab João's hand, making you widen your eyes, "João, we need to talk."

You incredulously watched Magui drag away the Portuguese before turning to Lando. You pondered over her words. "She still–"

"Likes him? Yup!" Lando said, popping the 'p' as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"It's weird how similar she and I are. Lonely... and both head over heels for our exes." Lando tilted his head, eyes examining you carefully while you took a deep breath. "Can't say the same for João though," he clicked his tongue.

The comment made you raise a brow. Lando softly laughed at your confused expression. "Sweetheart... it is my worst luck that you are the most gorgeous woman to exist. João had eyes for you. From the moment you were talking till the moment we stepped in."

You folded your arms, a small grin teetering on your face at the irritated expression on his face. "So you were watching me... obsessed much?" You humoured out of pure amusement.

Lando poked his cheek with his tongue, taking a step towards you, hands still shoved into this pockets of his pants. "Oh you have no idea."

You pressed your lips together.

There were an infinite amount of things that were unhealthy. Rewatching your comfort shows five times too many, the double digits on your screen-time, a high sugar intake (although your tastebuds said otherwise)...

But for you, it usually ended up being Lando. The various facets of Lando often left you undone. And a clean-shaven Lando, stalking towards you in the loosest long sleeve polo shirt, folded at the arms and half unbuttoned so the necklace you brought him and bracelets he wore glittered under the club lights was just another one of many undoings.

"Lando..." you murmured, taking a step back, eyes darting to your surroundings. "What are you doing?"

"I haven't told you how good you look today, have I? Because you have no idea how fucking hot you look," Lando responded, ignoring your question as he took another step forward.

You swallowed your saliva at the recognisable look swirling in those blue orbs of his. Like he was going to ravage you.

"Lando," you hissed, putting a hand to his chest to maintain some distance. You breathed shakily, trying to think straight. "Have some self-control!"

"Oh sweetheart, you know as much as I do." You widened your eyes as Lando used your hand to pull you closer, merely inches away from his face. His voice, despite it's softness, is drowned in a husk that runs down your spine. His warm breath pricked the surface your skin. "When it comes to you, I have no control."

Never in your life had your throat felt so dry. You burned at his words and his touch made your stomach churn. "But..." you furrowed your brows, trying to remember what you wanted to say. "But Magui? João?" You managed to get out.

As the strobes of light glimmered across Lando, you managed to capture him closing his eyes after being trained on your lips for so long, as though he was trying to hold himself back, swimming up to the surface for some sort of consciousness.

His forehead fell to yours as he pondered those three words. "I told you..." Lando said, hands travelling up your neck to hold your face, relishing the heat your flushed state brought. "I exist for you."

In essence: fuck Magui and fuck João.

━━━━━━━━━━━

"You're kidding me," Lando flatly said, evilly eyeing the 'Out of Order' sign on your elevator.

"I'm also totally kidding that my room's on the fifth floor," You laughed softly, sarcasm underlying your voice.

Lando turned to you with a blank stare. You two had both managed to get out of the nightclub as discreetly as you could (which included the most obvious winks from Carlos and Fewtrell). While both of your patience was wearing thin, in the nature of an F1 driver, Lando was losing it ten times faster.

Lando had been waiting what felt like forever to be with you, for you to green-light him. That time he spent without you felt torturous as though he was being punished for being in love. And now that he had you, he was going to make up for lost time.

The only hitch in his plan was an elevator under maintenance and five flights of stairs.

Lando raised a brow at the anything but innocent smile tugging on your lips. He sucked in a sharp breath. "I do not like that look on your face."

You suppressed an eye roll, knowing damn well those twinkling eyes were saying something else. Slowly, you walked towards the fire exit with Lando following after you cautiously. Popping your head into the room, you looked up and the numerous staircases trailing up the building.

A quiet laugh slipped past Lando's mouth. "What are you doing?" He asked as you took your heels off and placed them on the floor.

You turned to him, resting your hand the railing of the staircase while the other found your hip. "My dear Lando," you tsked, "you didn't think it would be that easy, did you?"

You smiled at the furrowed brows he sported. "They say you should work hard to get what you want. Who knows..." you shrugged, "Maybe you'll find my panties on the third floor."

As the cogs finally clicked in place, Lando sunk his teeth into his lips. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath, raking his eyes over you. "And if someone catches us?"

You jutted your bottom lip, pretending to ponder his question. "Guess you'll have to be fast then. Aren't you an athlete or something?" You teased, grinning ear-to-ear now.

"You are going to be the death of me." Lando gave you a pointed look, throwing his heading back soon after receiving a cheeky wink from your side.

The British driver watched carefully as you started to make your way up the flight of stairs. Smiling to himself while shaking his head, he grabbed your heels with his two fingers and climbed up after you.

Lando was amused and excited at the same time, seeing you occasionally turn to him with a knowing glint in your eyes. He knew himself that things were currently tame: finding your heels, purse, and jacket in his hands.

He felt dazed upon catching a glimpse of the lace underneath your dress, tight around your ample flesh, his own pants beginning to constrict.

"Not just yet, Lan." Your voice piped up in the silence. Lando fluttered his eyes open, seeing you turn back to him again. He questionably hummed in response, gathering himself once again.

"What are you going to do now?" You queried with feigned innocence, eyes flickering to your bra dangling in your hand. "Whoops!"

Lando sucked in a sharp breath, watching your bra fall to the floor before shamelessly moving his eyes to your chest, eyes bulging at the now uncontrolled cleavage spilling from your dress. His fingers clenched around all of your items while he swallowed the saliva building up in his mouth.

The sudden urge to increase his pace up the stairs made you widen your eyes with a fire-like anticipation, matching his action. As Lando grabbed your bra from the floor, he could only imagine what was coming as you arrived to the third floor.

But surprisingly enough, Lando had caught up to you, intentional on your part he was sure. He eyed your body as you sat on a stair, leg crossed over another, letting your dress ride up your thighs.

"Looking for something?" You queried, catching his attention.

"Nothing." Lando winced at the poor and croaky lie escaping his lips.

You grinned, gliding your tongue over your lip. You stood up, hand clenching around the soft and wet fabric in your hands. You could hear Lando's breath hitch as you used your free hand to trail up his leg, only millimetres away from the bulge in his pants.

Lando's eyes focused on you as you met his gaze. He felt your lips graze his own, naturally making him lean in for more but your finger pressing down stopped him, instead pulling his free hand open.

Lando closed his eyes upon the feel of the soft textured fabric in his rough palm. "Please tell me that's what I think it is."

He knew what it was. But he wanted to hear it from your lips.

You moved your lips to his ear. "What do you want to hear? That your holding my panties? Or that they're soaked?"

Lando's eyes snapped open, dropping your items to his side. His hand travelled up your neck, holding your face to jerk it towards him. You could feel his hot breath swarm your vicinity. His thumb trailed over your lips, head leaning in.

You gave him a small smile, pulling away. "We still have two whole floors, Lando. Patience is a virtue."

Lando blinked blankly at the light tap of your fingers on his cheek. He watched you leave once again. Knowing that you had no underwear unknowingly awoke something deeply sinister within him.

You were a siren. Luring him in by doing so little and yet, the most. He was sure of it.

Lando took in a deep breath, closing his eyes once again. He was also sure that the next thing about to come off was the last thing you had on: your dress. And he wasn't confident he could handle it at all. His cock felt impossibly tight against his pants, aching in such a way that begged for release.

"You're missing the show, baby."

Lando looked at you, gathering your items and slowly walking up the stairs, watching you carefully take the straps off your shoulders, emphasising 'L' on your necklace. His tongue rested at the corner of his mouth, preventing them from tugging upwards when you realised you had to deal with the zipper of your dress.

"Need some help?" Lando asked, catching up to you once again.

You pouted at his amused expression. "Lan... I had a thing going," You whined. You had used a damn string and paperclip to pull the zip up earlier this evening. And now? Now you had a lover who drove a papaya-coloured car for a living with a shit-eating grin.

"How about," Lando started, moving your panties to his other hand to wrap an arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him, "I help you get out of this dress and you stop being a little minx so I can fuck the tease out of you, hmm?"

Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, feeling Lando's bulge push up against your ass. Your skin pricked with a wave of heat that you hadn't felt in a long time. You hear Lando hum in your ear, waiting for a response as he nestled his chin into your collarbone, fingers grazing up and down your body.

"Fine, fine," you relented, turning to grab Lando by the hand before you hurried up the last flight of stairs.

"I thought you said patience was a virtue!" Lando huffed, smiling at your pace.

You rolled your eyes. "You're one to speak."

Lando chuckled softly, trailing after you with the same eagerness sparking within him.

━━━━━━━━━━━

You peeked your head into your empty hallway, hand still around Lando's. There were four flats on your floor. Two of which were empty thanks to the cost of living crisis and the other, your neighbour, who was often out of town.

In other words, you were free to be as loud as you want.

With as much humbleness and reserve you could manage, you tamely walked down your hallway, hearing Lando mumble something about how your hallway belonged in a horror movie.

"Gee... that's so sexy, Lan. Keep going," you dryly encouraged, turning to grab the keys in your purse.

Lando jutted out his hand, letting your keys dangle from his fingers in front of your face. "I'm just saying," he said defensively with the corner of his mouth tugging upwards in amusement.

You shook your head, failing to suppress your grin as you shoved the key into the door, waiting to hear the obscene click. Opening the door, you smiled timidly at the state of your flat. "Well... this is my humble-ish abode... that you've seen a bit too much recently," you teased.

Lando laughed softly, following after you, hands still full. "What are you on about? I love your flat. It's so... you."

You turned to Lando with a raised brow, watching him put down all the trinkets you had left him on the shelf near the door. "Is that a diss I hear?"

The driver rolled his eyes, walking towards you with a knowing glint to his eyes. His arms stretched out, travelling to your waist before pulling you in. You could feel his breath graze past your skin as he held your gaze. Lando's voice was a mere whisper in your ears. "I mean I love you... so I love your cute little flat."

"Oh," you lamely said before blinking back to reality. "I mean not 'oh' like 'oh,' I mean like 'oh... I love you too?" You questioned, slowly dying on the inside at your stupidity.

Lando grinned at your pained expression. "Nice save," he murmured against your lips. "Now... where were we?"

"Hmm?" You idly queried, unable to take your eyes off of his lips. "Uh," you cleared your throat, "something about fucking the tease out of me?"

"Ah, yes," Lando agreed, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. "You have been pretty awful today. First walking in with João..." He clicked his tongue, finger trailing the underside of the strap of your dress before pulling it down your shoulder. "Then this dress, fuck."

You let out a shaky breath, feeling his fingers skim past your neck as he walked around you to meet the zip you had been battling all day. Lando's mouth met the side of your ear while he pressed the cold metal of your zip down and against your back.

"And now your little theatrics. It's not very nice of you, sweetheart. I've waited so long... you're on my mind every second of every day. I think about you so much, I don't think it's healthy. But..."

Lando stopped himself, lips brushing against your burning skin.

"But?" You repeated, turning your body to face him.

"But... I don't care," He finished with a small nonchalant shrug and a balance of softness and cockiness drowning his voice.

You didn't waste a second, moving your hands to Lando's neck, pushing yourself forward as you pressed your lips to his.

You could feel his hands immediately wrap around your waist. Your skin pricked with a familiar burn, warming at the touch of Lando's fingers skimming your bare skin.

Even though a fire was whirling within you, your body still had managed to create waves and waves of goosebumps as the hairs on your skin stood straight. You could feel Lando's tongue dart out, nudging your mouth to open a bit more to explore every crevice.

A mix of a grunt and high-pitched moan slipped past Lando's lips making your thighs clench at the tingling rippling through your core. You were positively going to combust.

Lando was equally sure he was going to lose it. He had waited so long to feel your lips and the sheer happiness he felt right now... it couldn't even compare to his imagination. To feel his teeth graze your lips while his one hand roamed your bare back, ever slowly inching towards your ass... the other tangled in your soft hair... he was almost afraid to admit he daydreamed of this.

His pants, fuck, they were tight before but this was something else entirely. He was in a some sort of twisted pain as your hands moved from his neck and crept up the hem of his shirt, brushing his taut torso, remembering exactly where all his little moles were.

"Shit..." Lando sighed out, holding you tighter against him. His lips moved along your bare shoulder, meeting the nape of your neck to attack it with purple written love letters. "Get on the bed, baby," he managed to get out, half-focusing on the honey-drenched moans falling from your lips while he waddled you towards the bed.

You sat back on the mattress breathlessly, chest heaving up and down as you watched Lando eye you down with a lust-driven softness. A gentle smile sprawled across your face, making him gulp cautiously. Coyly, you stood up, barely a few centimetres away from him as you peeled off your dress as slowly as you good.

You could hear Lando's breath hitch before he sucked in a sharp intake of air, eyes fixed on your breasts. They looked lonely... as if they were waiting for his touch. His tongue rested on the side of his mouth, tilting his head while your dress skimmed past your thighs and off your legs.

Lando's head fell back. "Fuck... you are going to be death of me." He shook his head, inching back towards you.

The small laugh that had fallen from your lips made him smile. He watched as your fingers pinched the edge of his shirt, lifting it up at the same rate of his arms flying up. Removing his shirt, your hands danced towards his shorts but Lando's hand caught your wrist.

You flickered your eyes to Lando, eyebrows raised at the pained look on his face. "If I let you do it, I swear to God, I might cum right here."

Your eyes slightly widened at his words, mouth all of a sudden feeling dry. You raised your hands in defence, watching him try to take off his pants in amusement.

"Don't think I don't see that smug smile on your face, sweetheart," He murmured, blue eyes averting to you. A smug smile of his own formed on his face as his arms caged you in, your knees bucking at the feel of the mattress or Lando – you couldn't tell.

Lando's head dipped into the valley of your breasts, hot breath letting goosebumps litter your bare skin. "I missed these sweet tits of yours," he murmured, watching his own hand skim past your pebbled nipple, ears perking at the quiet gasp coming from your mouth.

You could feel the ghost of Lando's smile against your skin before his hand stretched to fondle the soft mound of tissue while his tongue wrapped around the other, circling the hard nipple with his warm saliva.

You let out a small sigh, hand immediately travelling to the mop of brown curls Lando sported as you revelled in his touch. You could tell what he was doing. Making up for lost time. Ensuring you knew how much he missed you by spending the uttermost time and care with your breasts alone.

His thumb and tongue moved in synchronised circles, paying attention to each nipple, savouring the way your body arched into his touch and the small sighs and whimpers of admission dancing into his ears.

Detaching his tongue from your nipple, Lando looked at the sight of the ample flesh of your tits filling his hands. Fuck... it drove him insane.

Your body quivered as Lando's lips trailed down the valley of your breasts, a line of purples following right after his wet kisses. "Lando," you hissed, "People are going to know."

A huff of amusement crawled from his throat. "I know."

Lando watched you roll your eyes while he came down to pussy. His hands glided across your thighs, gripping your plump skin as a wave of tingles bubbled within your core.

Planting a small kiss on the side of your thigh, he flickered his blue eyes to you. "Think I still need to get that brat out of you," he murmured before gently pulling at your labia.

He watched your folds clench around nothing as his hot breath grazed the surface of your pussy. Lando smiled knowingly. "You are simply drenched for me, sweetheart."

You sucked in a sharp breath, feeling his finger slide down your slick folds, going up to ever so slightly to gather your arousal and graze the sensitive bundle of nerves near the top. A gasp left your mouth, making him grin.

You feel his fingers move away from your heat, skimming your thighs while hearing the hitched breaths fall from Lando's mouth as if he was the one affected. You could see his eyes travel across your body, wondering where to start. He wanted everywhere.

His mop of curls on his head dipped down, warm lips pressed up against the valley of your breasts to your stomach. And as he reached your navel, he could hear your shallow breaths, the ghost of his smile tickling your skin.

Heat prickled every inch of your body and yet a shiver of what could only be explained as some sort of electric current ran through you. You felt a tap on your thigh, bringing you back to reality.

"Don't lose me now, baby," Lando murmured softly, hands gripping your hips to yank your body closer to him.

Before you could breathe, before you could imagine the mere consequences of the way Lando's breath felt against your core, his mouth dived down into your folds.

Your mouth fell open as your head found comfort in the mattress. His tongue grazed over your clit with a tantalisingly slow pace, letting your legs tremor in his grasp. You could feel his lips curve, smirk practically dripping off his face.

You opened your mouth, preparing a witty comeback only for a string of moans to come out as Lando traversed deeper into your burning core, taking on every crevice and fold.

A groan escaped Lando's lips, pulling away for a brief second. "I missed how good you taste, so fucking sweet," he sighed out, delirious.

Your toes curled at his words, hands reaching for his head as he returned back to your pussy, Lando's own hands moving to your inner thighs to expose you entirely to him. His tongue had found your clit once again, unleashing his torturous attack.

"Oh God," you cried out, hips bucking themselves further into his tongue as the signs of your upcoming climax approached. You didn't think you could last any longer, especially not when Lando slipped two fingers inside you, making you clench around around him.

"Fucking hell," Lando rasped against your clit, speeding up his pace. His fingers move in and out of you rapidly, tongue flat against your clit as you trembled in his hands.

The dazed look in your eyes, the sunken teeth, the clenching of your walls...

Lando eagerly pulled you closer if possible, hoisting a leg over his shoulder, sending an entirely different realm of pleasure across your body.

"Lando!" You sobbed, hands tightening their grip on his hair.

He moaned, maintaining his pace. "Come, baby. All for me, come on. Show me how good I make you feel."

You felt undone at his words, body convulsing as the big waves of your orgasm hit you hard. Your walls clenched and pulsed around his fingers.

Lando couldn't tell whether his heart was fluttering or whether his cock was throbbing, probably both, but he had once committed this ruined sight of you to his memory not too long ago, and God, he had been dying to see it again.

The strain in Lando's voice was impossible to miss. So was his aching cock standing straight against his stomach. "I need you... so bad," he murmured, pussy-drenched lips against your ear.

You couldn't help but shudder at his words. Only minutes had passed since your orgasm but fuck, you needed him as much as he needed you.

With a series of nods, you beckoned him over, bringing your lips to his for a brief minute. Your hands trailed over his chest, grazing the back of his neck before finding their place on his upper back.

A low sigh blew from Lando's lips, his eyes trailed to where your hips met before coming back up to meet yours. For a moment, he allowed himself to revel in your touch before holding your gaze firmly. He called your name. "I love you. So fucking much. You're all I want... forever."

His confession made you warm all over. You could feel your eyes water slightly. With a tight smile, you brought your hand to caress his cheek, feeling him lean into your touch. "I love you too."

Those words were music to his ears. Without a second to waste, his hips moved, cock thrusting into you so deeply that you can't help but let out a small cry of pleasure, hand covering your mouth.

Lando wanted to fold. Right there and then. You felt so good around him. As though heaven had found him. But all he could do is moan your name, feeling you tightly clench around his cock.

His eyes flitted to your face when he heard your muffled moans. His arms stretched out to keep your hands away from your mouth and on his back. "Let me hear you, baby. Yell my name. Tell me how good you feel."

Your body jolted as his thrusts became deeper and somehow, you felt like you were only becoming more aroused. Your skin felt sticky, riddled with sweat as your slickness coated your thighs.

Lando groaned at the sight. You were making a mess of him, dripping all over his cock as your eyes became lost in a haze. His hand reached out, jutting your chin to make sure you were looking at him. "Keep looking at me. Look at what you do to me."

Lando's grip on your waist tightened, pulling you over so you straddled his cock, riding him into a new oblivion.

And you did look. You watched him fuck into you with a speed and depth you had missed so dearly. You watched him memorise you as though he was afraid to forget you. You watched him make love to you.

Your second orgasm began to build up as the obscene sounds of your skin slapping against one another filled the room. Your body shook at the feel of Lando's thumb against your clit, rubbing you as he entirely ruined you.

"Lando, I–" you mewled, unable to get the words out.

"I know," Lando responded, holding the same level of restrain and pleasure as his own climax built up. "Cum," he almost cried out, "please."

You could barely keep your eyes open as the tight coil in your stomach snapped. You trembled in his grasp, cumming all over his cock, hips almost unstoppable as they chased those waves.

The tight clench your orgasm brought around his cock sent him over. Lando fingers sunk into your skin. "Fuck, where, tell me where," he begged, impossibly close.

You quivered, still in the remaining moments of your orgasm. "Inside," you panted, "please, Lan." There's nothing more that I want than your cum."

Lando rasped, hips stilling at your words as his cum spilled into you, filling you in all the the right places. His grip on you loosened as he slowly pulled out of you.

You shivered at his fixated gaze of your mixed cum seeping out of your pussy. Lando fell into the bed, closing his eyes, muttering things under his breath to restrain himself. You held in your laughter as he left the bed, almost painfully, to grab a wet towel from the bathroom to clean you up.

You kissed his cheek gently, thanking him as he finished cleaning all the witness dripping your thighs. Putting aside the towel, you pulled the duvet over you and Lando, nestling up to his warm body.

You could feel the softness of your mattress and duvet conform around your body while Lando rested beside you, taking you in. You mended your brows at the sudden silence. "Penny for your thoughts?" You queried, poking his cheek before rubbing his face with the pad of your thumb.

Lando leaned into your touch, warm blue eyes grazing over your face. "I missed you," he murmured, pressing a kiss onto the side of your hand. "Every day without you felt miserable and now... I can't believe you're actually in front of me. "

Your eyes softened. "I'm here," you reassured, "forever."

© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑

[babygirl-riley]

Hi I have a request so it’s like Simon and his wife arguing pretty badly like to the point where she’s shouting bare at him she’s on the verge of tears and while their arguing their new born cries so the reader goes upstairs to the crying baby once their baby is calm she doesn’t even go back downstairs to talk to him she just like stays in the baby room and goes on her social media to distract her self from Simon.

Hii so I have this written in my notes I always do that so I don’t forgot what I’m gonna ask and I hope this is what u meant tho cause im so slow it acc took me bare long to understand 😭

Quiet Home

You and Simon have been back to back arguments. Before you both could finish this one a loud cry interrupted the fight.

A/N: this is exactly what you asked for 😭 So embarrassing truly 💀 However this really tugged the heartstrings

“I want to be close to you, but I don't know what to do.'Cause if we are near to through, it may make it worse.”

Warnings: baby blues, depression, anger, arguments, fighting, yelling, screaming, baby crying, swearing, soft!simon, husband!simon, happy ending

simon x reader guide

simon x reader family

You were exhausted, you would clean, go get groceries, wake up every hour with the newborn, and everything in between. Usually you had Simon right beside you and help you with the smallest things. However, duty calls. Price promised Simon a couple months leave however, it was an emergency.

When Simon first brought it up, you knew he saw the rolling of the eyes but you brushed it off. Simon brought it up later and you just tried to push it away. Eventually it blew up. Things were said and yelled that weren’t meant to come out. Simon slept in a different room and he was gone for a couple of weeks.

You didn’t answer his calls but text him updates. It was petty but it’s a petty time. You were promised to have your husband here with both your child. Yet you are here almost falling asleep anytime it was early in the morning to feed the baby. You sat outside of the room of your baby as she bailed and bailed, being irritated and tired. Eventually you would go in sure but you were so scared that you would yell at her for being a baby.

After the couple of weeks you tried to brush it under the rug as you made Simon’s favorite dinner. Knowing he would be home. He text you stating that he will be home around 7 o clock and he was excited to see both you and the baby. 7 went to 8, 8 went to 9, 9 went to 10, 10 went to 11, and so on. The food went cold and baby was down. Especially you were tired.

You already put the food away and sat in the living room. You watched the clock before you angrily got up and started the bath. You needed to cool down. You heard the heavy footsteps heading down the hall. You rolled your eyes with the clock read 1 AM.

Simon noticed the light beaming through the room you both shared. Inhaling deeply he stepped in and rounding into the bathroom. You stood with a robe on and touching the warm water.

“S’rry ‘m late.” He said watching your movements.

“Okay.” You said not looking at him.

He frowned and shook his head. “I had a ton of paperwork and didn’t notice the time. Thought I had enough time.”

You didn’t say nothing as you went to the cabinet and pulled out your favorite salts for the bath. Simon watched as you poured them in and went back to put it away. “Y/n please.”

“Please what Simon? You were late. You weren’t here. Shit happens right? Emergencies happen. It’s whatever at this point.” You scoffed as you finally looked at him.

Simon noticed the anger in your eyes. He was upset that he left without resolving the last fight. He was upset that when he called you didn’t want to talk. He was upset he wasn’t home when he was supposed to be and not seeing his babygirl. He also noticed you are tired. Exhausted even. The bags. The purple shade underneath your eyes. “It’s my job you knew that when you signed up for it.”

You laughed and shook your head. “You don’t think I know that? Don’t you dare throw that in my face Simon. We were promised a break for our child yet he drags you back and you are willing to without a second glance.”

“Really? It goes back to me not carin’ about our family huh? That’s what you said before I left. You think I care more about my job than us.”

“Yes! Yes I do! I think that you are stuck in a loop without anyone but you! You are fine with just going instead of being here!” You yelled starting to walk out and brushing passed Simon.

“It’s my job! I have to go! I can’t leave my team behind!” He yelled back following you.

You scoffed as you ripped your robe off, ripping open your drawers. “Right but you can do it to us.” You mumbled pulling out sweats and a t-shirt.

“What’s that supp’se to mean?” He basically growled.

You snapped up and looked at him. “Ever since Millie was born it was like you have been gone. You will help yes but how long did that last before you skipped your happy ass to Price,” You yelled pulling the sweats up as you felt a sting of tears coming. You laughed as you heard nothing from him. “I have been doing this by myself with no help! Nothing Simon!”

“That’s not fair! How many times do I have to say it’s my fuckin’ job…”

“You have a job here!” You screamed as tears started to spill and right before anyone could say anything a wail broke through the air.

You both stood there for a minute before you raked your fingers through your hair. You wiped your eyes angrily. “Damn it,” You pulled your shirt on before walking out, grabbing your phone on the dresser. “I am sleeping in the other room.” You slammed the door shut before walking to the baby’s room.

You opened it as Millie screamed louder. You cried as you walked closer that turns to a sob. You didn’t know what to do. How to do it. You don’t know how to keep her asleep and fed and changed without being upset. You gripped the crib hard as you couldn’t move. You were tired and your baby needs you. “I’m sorry,” You cried as you picked her up and shushed her softly. “I know I know.”

You sat in the rocking chair as you let your baby fed. You scrolled on social media seeing all the happy couples. All what they are doing. All your friends looking like they don’t have problems. You missed Simon, not like he changed, just his touch, he soft voice when he whispers I love you. You missed his laugh when you both would have that marriage banter. You missed his tea.

You are afraid that maybe having a kid was a bad idea. That it ruined or tainted everything. You looked at your baby and inhaled. How could you think like that? What has she done to make you feel that way? It seemed like anytime Simon was around you were angry. Small arguments that turned into this. Your lip trembled and you held your baby closer to your chest. Tears prickling your eyes.

You threw your phone on the ground and sobbed. You were a monster. How could a mother think like that? Why would a wife yell at her husband for doing his job? You kept thinking about all the bad things that happened or been thought of that you didn’t notice that your baby was being scooped up.

When the cold air touched your skin, you opened your eyes panicked. You thought you dropped her as you looked down with tears blinding you before you felt a hand on your cheek. You snapped your eyes to see Simon, holding your baby girl close to his chest as she was asleep. “Baby,” He whispered concerned on his face. He was kneeling as he wiped tears after tears. “Come on let me put her to bed and let’s go talk please.”

“No,” You mumbled as you stood up. “I got her.”

Simon stood up and shook his head. “Please, you look tired.”

“I-I no she needs me.” You whispered but made no move to grab her.

“She has me too,” He said quietly. “Go to the kitchen please.”

You stared for a moment and looked at your baby. How small she was compared to him. How secure she looks when he was holding her. You nodded as you wiped more of the tears away. “Okay.”

Guilt pinged your chest as you glanced once to see him bouncing a bit as he slowly put her down. You walked into the kitchen and sat at the island as quiet tears slipped. You are tired you felt your body relax and felt heavy. “Baby,” You snapped your head up and saw Simon holding a kettle. “Do you want tea?”

You nodded once and looked away. It was quiet as he face the kettle waiting for it to go off. “I’m still mad at you.” You mumbled.

Simon nodded as he turned to lean against the counter. “Why is that?”

You rolled your eyes. “Simon you know why.”

Simon walked up and leaned his elbows on the counter. “Y/n I’m not doin’ it to hurt you two.”

You froze for a moment before looking away. Thoughts of how it could be different with him not having the damn job. However, he was right he wasn’t doing it to hurt you. “I told Price to call someone else but…he needed me for what I know.” You slowly looked at him as Simon looked the other direction. “I fought the old man about it for days. I didn’ say nothin’ cause I knew you would be upset. I didn’t notice that I was pushing you and our princess away. Just-just tried to figure out how to get out of it…I’m sorry.”

Now you felt even more bad. He tried to fight not to go and fought for the two of you. You inhaled but don’t exhaled afraid of sobbing once more. The moment Simon looked at you, you sobbed and hid your face with your hands. “I didn’t-I’m so sorry Simon.”

Simon walked around and shook his head as he turned the chair to gently pull you on for a hug. “Baby I should have said something and not fought it alone.”

You sobbed and sobbed as everything came down. “I’m so tired Si. I am tired of being awake so damn early. I am tired of cooking. I am tired of not being able to do anything. I am tired of fighting with you. I am sorry Simon. I should have been m-more understanding. You don’t deserve me. You don’t deserve to marry such a bitch. I have been so ru…”

He gently pushed you off to grab your wrists to show your face. Simon smiled softly before grabbing your chin with his thumb and finger. “I know. I know. You been overwhelmed with so much. We will figure it out yeah? It’s okay, we are fine. I married you for you even when it’s rocky. It won’t always be perfect.”

You calmed down a bit as you leaned into his touch. “Okay.”

The kettle goes off as Simon kissed your forehead to walk over. You sat still as Simon came around. “I will be here right now, try my best to help you my love.”

You looked up and saw him, his eyes glowing with love. You inhaled and nodded as he pulled you back into his chest. You snuggled in and felt warmth throughout your body. God no one deserves Simon Riley.

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[eatmyassssssssz]

Captain John Price

warnings : age gap implied

tags : @lillianastuff @mysticalgalaxysalad @mionacaped @madamemelancholysstuff @mactavishwritings @chaos-reigns-bitches @scribblescubbs @wandasbitch22 @warzxx @wretched-horn-monger @yippeerrrs @applbottmjeens @bowieisbored @blingblong55 @simonrileyscockring

old man price who struggles to come, he can get it up, but he struggles to come, takes him ages.

hes retired by the military by now, youre his little house husband/wife.

you started to realise you guys have sex a lot less. and when you do, its not really sex. he doesnt get anything out of it. he always makes you come, then goes straight to aftercare.

you worry, maybe he's stopped being attracted to you as he got older. maybe his taste has changed.

you overthink one night, hes fast asleep next to you, snoring. you cant sleep, youre trying not to be too loud with your crying and hyperventilating so you dont awaken your husband (although, nothing could wake up that damn man).

then, you snap. you shake him. until he wakes up. you needed to ask him why he wouldnt have sex with you, when he had a pretty high sex drive a year ago!

was it because you put on a pound or two because of christmas incoming?

either way, hes awake, sat up, half asleep, looking at his partner, having a borderline panic attack next to him.

"whats-, whats wrong?" he says, hurriedly rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out him eyes at least a little.

"why dont you like me anymore!" bit blunt, but you weren't thinking very straight right now, you needed answers, and now.

no matter what the answer was, you needed closure. you needed something to let you decide what you needed to do.

was the "problem" you, or did he just fall out of love?

"what- what do you even mean?" he genuinely did not get what you meant.

"youve not had proper sex with me in ages!" you say, rushed, words not going through your head properly.

his face fades. a soft pink spreads up his neck and ears. "so, its about that.." he mutters.

"am i not attractive enough for you to fuck me anymore? you make me come, then skip the part when you get off, and we go straight to aftercare!" tears were rushing down your face, you hiccuped as you spoke.

"babe- its not you, its me." he says, face in his palm.

"please- nonono, i cant afford for us to split up! i love you- and, and- i dont have any qualifications, i didnt go to college so we could be together forever, john!" your head was rushing to conclusions, your breathing was fast, choked and panicked.

"no! nono, i dont want to split up- i...what i meant was, i literally- it is me thats the problem. i can't- yknow...come." his voice was low, his fingers were massaging his temples, his face was red with embarrassment over this.

"...youre joking? thats why we've not had sex? i thought you were fucking someone else and had nothing left for me or something!" you were relieved, to say the least. "no- babe, i would never."

you nod. "i know- i just..overthink." you admit. he nods. "im aware.." you smile softly. he did know you well. "so..you cant come?" you ask.

he mumbles a response, "i can- just takes...a while...yknow? i can still get hard like i used too- just...not come easily." you smirk hearing that. "so...its possible you can come, just takes a minute?"

"yup."

"..you wanna try that theory?"

[lynnlovesthestars]

Scars.

Pairing: Astarion x reader Genre and warnings: angst, lots of it, hurt barely any comfort, allusions to sexual assault, past trauma, graphic description of torture, kidnapping, blood, violence, set in act 3, mention of death. Notes: not proof read ngl, i wrote it after dreaming it, and i didnt even wanna read it again, i cried like a bitch cause it’s kinda like…. past experience projected? just yeah dont ask if im ok after writing this, the answer is no lmao... also just a side note since it’s the first time im posting on this profile, but english is not my first language so please be mindful about it. Edit 10/06/23: i finally went through it end edited it.. i hope i catched all the errors cause idk if i'll ever be strong enough to give it another read ahah

Getting so close to someone meant so much for Astarion, and the more he cared, the more new fears would swim through his brain. 

Since you arrived in the lower city, and his bed was no longer cold at night, a new nightmare snuck in.

The idea that Cazador would be able to get to you, and weaponize you against him, made his cold blood run even colder. Several nights you woke up to a trembling and sweating Astarion, as he was begging for mercy. He never explained too much about these nightmares to you, just letting you know it was about Cazador again and again, but he left out the haunting possibility of you getting hurt because of him. On the other hand you believed it was because you were getting so close to the Szarr palace, and Cazador knew about it just as much as Astarion did.

It was the middle of the night when the sound of a broken glass stirred you awake. You looked around you, Astarion still deep into his meditating state, while the others were asleep as well, none of them reacted to the sound like you did. Maybe you just had a light sleep, you thought, and someone in the tavern dropped a few glasses or something. It was when hands gripped your wrists that you jolted up, looking behind you. It was too dark to see, and all you could spot were the deep red eyes, like Astarion's, though they lacked the warmth of his.

A shiver ran through your spine as you realized what was happening, but when you tried to call for the others, you realized how deep in shit you actually were: no sound would leave your lips, like you were silenced.

"There's no need to be afraid, Tav." A deep cold voice whispered so close to your ear. "They can't hear you".

The voice chuckled at your failed attempts to call for Astarion, Karlach or anyone, as tears were starting to pool at the edge of your eyes.

Another pair of hands took hold of Astarion, magical shackles fastened around his hands and feet, just as they did to yours, and then they started dragging you both away.

The deep voice spent the whole travel taunting you with stories of Cazador, how cold blooded he was, and just how much he enjoyed torturing his victims. From one point of view you were already accustomed with such stories about him, but from the other, the idea of Cazador getting hold of Astarion again, made your blood freeze again. You were not going to let Cazador hurt him again. You were set on the idea.

When you reached the corridors of Cazador's palace, the silencing spell finally wore off, though Astarion was still not moving. Terror flashed through your eyes as you wondered if they had already…

"What did you do to him?!" You breathed out as you tried so hard to keep your calm in front of the spawns that were dragging and pushing you through the dark hallways.

The spawn scoffed as he pushed through and through.

"Don't worry, he's not dead" You could feel his eyes rolling at the question, like it was some dumb question you should have known the answer to. "..yet" he added at last.

You couldn't stop your mouth from twitching, between the state of rage that was slowly building up, or the terror of them hurting Astarion.

"What's going on? Can i know that at least?" You wanted so bad to cast a spell on him, charming him into freeing you, but without the use of your hands, you were useless.

"Cazador wants to give you a warm welcome into Baldur's gate" He giggled, as the smell of old blood mixed with the sour taste of the bile threatening to spill from your lips, and you couldn't hold it anymore, and your feelings started spilling out.

You couldn't help then to try and get Astarion free at least. You wanted to shake those hands off of you, to wiggle out of the shackles that bound your magic, but no matter how much you tried, you were like set in stone, unable to do anything but move forward, shed tears, and talk. Or more specifically, beg.

Beg them to hurt you, instead of Astarion. 

Beg them to keep you here, and let your star free.

Beg them to turn you if needed, but spare Astarion's life.

Anything, if it meant not hurting the man that stole your heart with a dagger to your throat.

Quickly you were tossed in a cage, adjacent to Astarion's, and locked in.

The shackles that bound your feet dissipated, as the cage started ascending upward.

It halted in front of an altar, you guessed, that directly faced into the chasm you ascended from. Other spawns, around twenty you were able to count, started taking seats around the edges, sitting all in religious silence on their knees.

Astarion was still passed out, cradled on the floor of the cage, both restraints still tightly bound to him.

"Please, please, please" You cried out as the last bit of your strength was going to be dedicated towards trying to get Astarion free, far away from this place. "Let Astarion go, i beg you" You repeated your plea again, as you saw all those spawns stir from their seats, they wanted to turn their heads, to face whoever was foolish enough to beg Cazador for mercy, to trade spots with Astarion.

Everyone in that room knew what was going to happen, he was going to show them what happens when you disobey, when you run away thinking you can escape him. Instead you were so foolish and blinded by love, that you wanted to take Astarion's place, unaware of the extent that Cazador would go to. Yet you didn't stop, you kept begging and begging until a voice, the voice, echoed through the altar's walls.

"Tsk you just gave me a wonderful idea" the man hummed as his scepter started glowing, and Astarion started stirring awake, he looked around him, his tired eyes quickly widening as the reality around him had set in his mind.

"Let her go, you son of a bitch" Astarion growled as he stood up so quick, and gripped at the iron bars separating him from Cazador. 

"Touch her and I swear I'll spill your guts right here" He spit out of the cage, a symbolic spit cause you were too far away to reach him.

"My, my, our dear Astarion has forgotten all the manners" He cooed as his lips smacked together, his voice so honeyed it was bringing you to the verge of vomit.

You wanted to reassure Astarion, let him know that you were going to do your best to free him, that you were both going to be out of there alive soon, but could you? Could you lie so much to the man you loved? Words were stuck on your tongue, making your throat drier and drier.

You guessed you zoned out for a few seconds as your head was flooded with thoughts, missing the hate Astarion was throwing at his master.

"Ah sweet Astarion, your dear Tav has given us a great idea though, it would be a shame to let it go to waste" He hummed, as the staff light up again, the lock on your cage fell down the chasm, as your trembling body was slowly being dragged out of the cage by magic.

"No, no, no, no" Astarion reprated as his eyes locked on you, falling on the long streaks of tears running down your cheeks as you tried to offer him a sad smile, your lips muttering an "it's going to be okay" while his body was about to give in to desperation, loud sobs echoed from him, as your heart broke at his sight: he was barely standing up now, his hand gripped tight as he screamed through the hall to let you go, to not hurt you, to stop. "This is just a nightmare" He fell on his knees as you were slowly dropped on the cold floor, barely keeping your head up as you realized you were still in his shirt, the one he loved on you.

"Oh dear Astarion" Cazador cooed again as he kneeled in front of you, his cold fingers getting ahold of your chin, to tilt your head towards his. "This is not a nightmare, this is real" His words were like cold daggers through your chests, you knew that whatever was going to happen, it was not going to be fun.

Before you could say anything, Cazador's hand slipped to your waist pulling on the shirt as you flinched away, disgusted by the touch of the vampire in front of you.

But he didn't care, he was swift in removing it, leaving you bare in front of dozens of eyes.

You could hear the rattling coming from Astarion's cage as he attempted to break free over and over again while his chest was about to explode.

He didn't have the right to undress you in front of everyone, he didn't have the right to touch you at all, not when he prayed every night to have the chance to see you bare, to hold you. His thoughts were swinging back and forth between desperation and deep seethed rage.

"My, my I can see why our Astarion has fallen for this little creature" Cazador's compliment almost made you retch as you stumbled back a little. "She even puts up a fight" He chuckled as he lunged forward just enough to grip at your wrist and whipping you on your feet.

Every inch of your skin was visible to everyone, from the battle scars you got through the years of adventuring, to the teeth marks on your neck, down to the stretchmarks that lived on your hips.

A shiver ran through your spine as Cazador’s fingers grazed over the two marks on your neck. “Mh, your blood seems to be sweet enough, right Astarion?” His cruel words hit Astarion through the chest. He was one word away from a breakdown as he couldn’t do anything but witness his nightmares coming alive, not his Tav, not when he would be so careful to cradle you and comfort you to his chest whenever he'd drink from you.

Whatever he was screaming was incomprehensible to you, as all you could feel was the way Cazador gripped and pushed you towards a plush chair, where he sat with legs wide open before dragging you on his lap. You felt so nauseous as he bent you towards the arm rest, making you face the cold grey floor.

You wanted to hear the taunting explanation of what he was going to do, but all the sounds were drowned by the thrumming of your chest and the desperation in your own thoughts, repeating over and over that you were going to find a way out, trying to convince your brain to shut off and dissociate as you were there, like you were just in a nightmare, and you’d be awake soon.

All you could gather was few words like “knife”, “mark”, reminder”, and then “Astarion”. He was torturing him through you, and you couldn’t do anything about it. The worst part in this, was that you were the one that gave him the idea, cause you wanted him to free Astarion, and instead he let it all out on you instead than on your Aster, as a punishment for you both. You cause you were so careless to offer yourself though you didn't know the risk, and Astarion for being reckless and disobedient. Right there, as the dagger pierced your spine, you regretted not whispering Astarion how much you loved him, while you were tight against his chest, when the world around you was asleep, and you had a corner of peace. You always knew what you felt for him, from that moment on the beach, at the shipwreck, and yet you just wanted to tell him in the right moment. But what was the right moment? You might never know, as a broken scream broke through your lips, salty tears flowing free, so much that you thought for a moment that you might have died of dehydration, if the knife wasn’t going to do it first.

He carved and carved over your back, intelligible lines and symbols as you finally understood what Astarion meant when he told you how he got his scars. How gut wrenching the pain was as he couldn’t move, and how Cazador didn't allow a break, and retraced the lines that were wobbly if he moved too much.

“You know?” Cazador asked, as everyone’s eyes were on what he thought was a work of art, your carved skin, while Astarion’s plea echoed over and over in the room. “Our sweet Astarion used to whine just like you” He hummed. “Just a pathetic little child” He spit out like venom as you could barely breathe out few words along the lines of “you disgusting monster”, though you were not sure you actually let them out until, Cazador’s laugh filled every corner of the disgraced altar. Your tadpole writhed as another line was cut at the height of your hips, before, Cazador started retracing the lines and pulling away the skin, exposing the deepest layers of your flesh, the pain was so deep your vision blurred, and you were so close to passing out right there.

You don’t know how long you sat there, you slipped between pain and numbness as Cazador slapped you back to consciousness whenever you'd slip away, you had to endure the agonizing scarring and remember every second of it. He decorated with bloody lines almost all over your body.

You didn’t know what was worse between laying on the raw scars of your back, seeing your own skin being peeled away or the cries and sobs coming from the man you loved. You had to find a way, you couldn’t give up, you couldn’t allow this monster to walk the earth again. You had to do it for Astarion.

You were not sure when he dropped you on the floor, your body barely able to hold itself together as finally you could look around you and towards Astarion. Every face around you was stoic, like they were used to witnessing such spectacle, and they knew what was going to happen next.

You wanted to reach for Astarion, to take him away from the revolting scene in front of his eyes, you wanted to take away his pain, give him the last bit of hope you had, but when you were about to link your tadpole to his to do it, you hesitated. Connecting your minds meant he would feel how dirty, wretched and lost you felt, along with the gut wrenching pain ebbing through your body.

You could barely make out the words Cazador said as his nails dig through your skin again, even when he pulled your eyes to his you could barely read his lips as he said words you just wanted to cancel from your brain. A broken sob regurgitated from your throat as he was going to take the last thing you had. You just had to let your brain go, right? To ignore the teeth dipping in your throat and the putrid hands slithering down your skin, taking away enough blood to barely keep you alive as he took you in front of everyone.  It was no longer just physical pain, it was the way you felt your own body being stolen away and used in way no one ever dared before.

Numbness was all that was left of you after a while, of your barely beating heart while more hands crawled their way through places were you never wanted anyone to touch, then, in that moment, you realized you were free of your shackles, because you were so drained and broken that you could barely do anything. You could barely by aware of your surroundings, of how many bodies were preying on you, as you could barely manage to move inches.

Your vision was all but clear, you could make out the outline of Cazador as he was buttoning up his blouse again. Then you could see Astarion, still caged, struggling to stay sane as he wanted just to take you away from the monsters abusing of you, abusing of the fact that you were powerless in front of them. His eyes were a bloodshot, he was so hurt that he resorted to supplicate for mercy, to let you go and just kill him, whatever that could stop the agonizing pain. You didn’t have much strength left, maybe if you put all of yourself, you could muster two spells before passing out again. 

It took all you had to even raise your hand towards the lock that sealed Astarion’s crate, you mustered all your willpower to cast that knock spell, just enough to let the damn lock fall down. Astarion instantly turned to you, to your teary form still being touched by unworthy creatures, noticing how your hand barely held up, as you tried to cast one more spell, just for him, before another broken scream echoed in the room, bouncing from wall to wall till it reached Astarion's core. The kind of scream that should never be drawn by someone, nevertheless by you.

The radiant dagger materialized in his hands, and for a moment he didn’t notice it as he was fixated on the broken look on your face, encouraging him to end his master, although you suffered right there, paces away. “I love you” You mutter barely, you wanted to let him know before you could draw your last breath, then everything blurred.

Everything was muffled, you couldn’t see what was going on around you, you just felt all the presences around you disappear, while Astarion’s voice was crystal clear through the excruciating pain.

"I'll kill you, then I'll bring you back, and kill you again.” He shoved Cazador on the floor, just like he did with you, to remind him how he hurt you, how he used you, how he touched the only person he should have never laid hands on. “I’ll do it over and over again until you have suffered a tenth of what you did to her. Then I'm going to gut you one more time, and paint this shithole with your putrid blood. The halls of this place will reek with your disgusting blood, to let the whole city be aware of your death and from which the hands it came from” His hands were shaky, but he had to do it. For him, but mainly for you. All that was left of him was you, and nothing could ever be enough to vindicate you.

The shiny dagger stabbed over and over again through Cazador’s chest, while Astarion cursed him, every thrust of the dagger through the heart earned a new mocking insult, a new reminder of what he did, while all of Astarion's anger was channeled into annihilating him.

You just laid there, all you could do was listen to the grunts and the hate slipping from your lover’s lips as he dipped that dagger in the gutted body. You didn’t even realized when he dropped the disemboweled body on the marble, you weren’t even sure you could breathe, at that point.

A pair of shaking arms wrapped around your drained body, Astarion’s shirt was used again to cover your skin, as he picked you up, trying to be as delicate as possible. His salty tears fell over your body as he carried away from the nauseating scene, you frail body barely shivering, and your chest barely moving. He was muttering something to you, but everything sounded foreign at your hear.

He had to move quickly, find Shadowheart or Halsin, or anyone to heal you, to keep you alive. It was in this moment that he wished he could beg a deity to keep you alive, but he didn’t trust anyone else to tend you. He needed to rush outside of this place and get you to safety. 

He didn’t expect to see everyone outside the locked ballroom door, as they fumbled to open the door. They were taken by surprise at the sight of Astarion cradling you to his chest, all covered in blood, while his eyes were a pit of pain and tears.

Shadowheart didn’t hesitate to heal you right there before they all guided you towards the tavern you've been resting. They all offered to carry you, to make Astarion breathe a bit while on your way back there, but he refused. “I can’t..” He mumbled. “I don’t want..” His voice was just a whisper, broken. “I need” He wanted to break down again with you in his arms, but he had to lay you down first, to let you rest in a warm bed, he had to bring you to safety again, away from anyone that could pose any harm to you. He needed to see that smile again, cause no power flowing through his veins could have replaced you. He failed you once, he was not going to do it again. You saved him, twice, he had to do it just once for you. He had to thank you, and he had to tell you how much he loved you.

[darling-im-wonderstruck]

sweet dreams.

synopsis : it was yet another sleepless night for you— peter, of course, wasn't going to allow that.

pairing : bf!peter parker x reader

wc : 502

warnings : nothing worth warning <3 unless you’re against tooth rotting fluff !!!!! it’s all FLUFF FLUFF FLUFFF !! a comfort fic for my night owls out there who refuse to sleep (mutuals… go to bed)

‎‎ ୨ masterlist | request | navigation ୧

a/n : hi ! sooo this is a rewrite of an old one, i feel like this is an improvement so i’m pretty proud of that !!! <3 hope you guys enjoy this lil fic, it’ll bring you sm joy, i promise !!!! comments, asks, reblogs, are greatly all appreciated :)

brring! brring! brring!

a smile forms on your face as you look at your phone to see the caller id: ‘lovebug’ alongside a plethora of heart emojis. you always loved hearing from him, no matter the context, and of course you would never complain. only question was, why exactly was he calling you at 3 a.m. in the morning? 

“pete?” you answer, turning on your camera. your hair is an absolute mess, but you hardly care at this point. besides, it was peter you were talking to, he thought you were beautiful no matter how you looked.

“hi gorgeous.” just as expected. he’s predictable like that.

“my hair’s a mess, pete.” you chuckle, trying to fix it as much as you possibly could.

“i think it makes you look cute.” he’s grinning sweetly, only to see you roll your eyes in response.

“whaaaat? it’s true!”

“yeah, right.” you respond, the sarcasm clear in your voice.

“i’m serious.” his tone deepens, though it’s paired with an odd look— one that you assume was supposed to be an intimidating scowl, but it just made him look utterly adorable.

“you’re the cute one.” his grin only widens at your compliment.

“thanks, but i already know that.” he flips his (imaginary) hair, making you giggle. he can’t help but do the same once he hears you.

“anyways, why’d you call?” you ask.

“well, i swung past your window on the way home from patrol and i noticed that you weren’t asleep yet,” he pouts. oh. “i wanted to tell you to go to bed, you know you need it.”

“technically, i’m already in bed,” you quip, lying down to prove a point. he could only roll his eyes in response.

“i meant sleep, missy.” his voice was slightly stern, mimicking a mother’s voice.

“no, thank you.” you grin cheekily, though you talk in the same tone as he did, he sighs in disappointment.

“please!” he’s pleading now, using your known weakness, his ‘puppy eyes’. clearly, that wasn’t fair.

“i’m busy though!” no you weren’t, you were simply watching tv all night, or at least you were planning to.

“lovie, you’ve gotta get your beauty sleep.” he’s serious this time. you just looked at him and pouted, you did not want to sleep, despite the fact that your eyelids were beginning to feel heavier by the second.

“hm, okay, i’ll make you a deal.” that piqued your interest.

“okay, tell me.” you lean closer to your phone, peter notices that he’s got your full attention.

“maybe i could swing over for a sleepover?” he suggests, the smile on his face never leaving, “we could cuddle? i know you love those.” that was a well known fact between the two of you, it was also peter’s way to get you to fall asleep, a method that never fails.

“hm,” you mulled over the offer, but peter knew what you’d say, “okay, deal.” you say dryly in an attempt to mask your excitement.

“alright, beautiful, be there in ten.”

a/n : hope you loved it <3 thank you for reading !!! please leave feedback, comments, and reblogs 🥰

taglist : (okay so, i’m tagging my old taglist in hopes to see if you’re still interested ! i was previously @/darling-im-moonstruck so yeah !) @cagethemunson, @tfatwsparker, @jaydannyyy, @hallecarey1, @live-laugh-lovejoy, @parkerpeter24, @saturnpeter, @poemsforparker, @hllandvibbes, @herpeanutzombie

[babybatlover]

Hiii can I please get either a Damian or Rhea piss k!nk smut please! Like Rhea or Damian find out about readers k!nk and decide to put it to the test and like to tease them about it? Ty!!!💜💜

MDNI !!! Read this and ill call your mother.

warnings: piss. Smut. 👍🏻

Its been a long day. Like a long day and well.. you ended up dozing off while journaling. Damian walks in to see you asleep, journal open on your thighs. Being the curious little shit he is, he sees no harm in taking a peak. “What do we have here?” He says as he picks up your personal book.  He decieds that he should only read todays page so he isnt /too/ intrusive. ‘I dont know what to do. I’ve wanted to talk to him about it for awhile but i feel like it would be weird. Like how do i even bring it up?’ He reads. “Bring up what” he whispers. And eventully he is sent on finding out what “it” was. And that meant flipping through DAYS of pages and then he finds… it. it just happens to be ‘I want to piss on him while he fucks me dumb’. Damian thinks to himself “ok… saving that info for later” and a smirk crawls onto his face. You see he knows about your kinda weak bladder. And that sometimes during sex you have to pause so you can go pee. So he damn sure will use his newfound knowledge as soon as he gets the chance

~next morning~

You wake up in the arms of your big teddy bear of a boyfriend. “Mmmhf” you whine, the room was so bright. “Hey lovebug”. You giggle “hey dame”. Ever since last night all he can think about is a few fatefull words, ‘Piss on him’. And now he wants to make his move. “Your so pretty baby.” He whispers. Fluster you respond with “oh uh thank you sir,”. “Oh calling me sir this early? My baby all horny and its not even 10 am?” He smirks. “I wasnt til you said that” you shoot back. “Watch your mouth or ill have to fuck the attitude out of you”. You chuckle “what if thats what i want?”. “Then ask, tell me what you need.”  “I uh- i need you” you stutter out.  “you have me” he retorts. “No i uh need you inside like want you to fuck me” you blush. “Get shy already? Aw how ‘bout we get these clothes off and i can take care of my horny love”. You peel off your shirt (its actully his shirt but who cares) and your sleep shorts, “im ready dame,” “honey dont rush it, dont you want to get eaten out or fingered or something first?” He asks with genuine curiosity. “No just want your cock sir,”. “Ok if you insist,” he reaches around in the bedside drawer, he grabs the lube and holds up a condom and you shake your head. “Oh you want it raw love?” He knows the answer but god does he tease. “Yeah wanna feel all of you”. He hisses at the cold lube as he puts a few cold drops on his cock and work it on himself. “Ready?” “Yes sir” you feel him slip inside you and suddenly you have the need to pee. “Wait!” You shout “gotta pee”, damian smirks “that out just do it on me baby. Just let go as i fuck you”

“You sure?” You whisper. He leans in close and whispers “baby i know your fantasies, i know you desires, im sure” you whisper “okay”. He slides himself in and you wince slightly, hes just so big. He starts thrusting into at a soft pace, soft ‘oh’s and ‘nmph’ fall from your lips. “Feel good baby?” He asks with a cocky smily “ahhh oh yeah so good, i need to go dame i need to pee- oh!” He chuckles “do it baby, get me all wet” and with that you let go, spraying his stomach and your thighs. “Oh fuck! Can i - mhhh- can i come?” He chuckles “yeah baby come for me” and with that you come spraying him yet again and have probably the most intense orgasms of your life. As you come down from your high you feel damien spill inside you. He pants onto of you and slowly pulls out. “Shower baby?” “Yeah can you come with me?” You ask shyly. “Of course my love” 

And after that anytime someone mentions a piss kink he defends it. Because only he and judgement day can tease you about that. Because you are his.

And he is yours.

Forever.

[lesbiankimdahyun]

Reader is went out to a party and dressed as a nurse for Halloween but, g!p Mina stayed home so to make it up to her “patient” she gave her a bj to feel better

im sorry it took me so long to finish (just like Mina-- I mean what?) but please enjoy!!!

1.6k words 

[GP!Mina x Reader]

CW: GP, light praise kink, this isn’t m*d*c*l play bc i don’t do that but R is wearing a nurse costume

Mina let out a low breath and closed her eyes as she gripped her length in her left hand. 

Unfortunately, the wrist she’d broken earlier was her dominant wrist, and now she was both frustrated and turned on, trying to adapt to getting herself off with only her other hand. Sure, she’d used her other hand before, but not nearly as frequently. And knowing she was completely unable to rely on any help from her right hand made her let out a little whine. 

Breaking her wrist was the fault of her own bad luck, but it was your fault she was so wound up now, eyebrows furrowed from her effort. Your Halloween costume, a handmade, near perfect replica of the uniform Nurse Dolly wore on Ratched, looked entirely too good on you. And now, instead of being able to enjoy seeing you in said costume at Jeongyeon’s Halloween party, she was alone, thinking about how she wanted nothing more than to greedily pull up your skirt and run her hands over your ass and thighs before–  

Mina sighed, cursing her useless injured wrist and unrelenting erection. She laid back a bit farther on the dark gray sectional, letting her bad wrist rest on the arm of the sofa. She had meant to go to bed earlier, wanting to cum just once to relieve some of her pent up frustration, but she couldn’t get herself over the edge and hadn’t realized how much time had passed. 

Still too aroused and lost in her lust-driven thoughts, Mina didn’t even register that the front door of the apartment opened and closed: you were back from the party. Mina had really wanted to go with you, but the idea of anyone bumping into her very broken wrist in its fresh cast made her wince. 

“Mina?” you called softly as you came in, but she didn’t reply. You checked your phone– it was after midnight. Maybe she had fallen asleep while trying to wait for you to get back. But then you walked in further, down the hall, through the kitchen, out into the living room and saw why she hadn’t answered you. 

You watched for a moment, almost tempted to let her carry on. But then you noticed the light sheen of sweat on her brow and wondered how long she’d been struggling to cum. Now you couldn’t resist her. And it was Halloween after all; maybe you could give her a compensatory treat.

“Why is my patient out of bed?” you asked, tilting your head with feign curiosity. Mina’s eyes snapped open and she looked up at you from the couch. Her gaze, you realized instantly, was both hungry and desperate. You had been debating teasing her, but as soon as you saw the ravenous look in her eye you knew it wasn’t the time. Your eyes locked onto her hard shaft and you licked your lips. “Can I help you with that?” 

Mina nodded, looking you up and down slowly. She’d seen your nurse’s costume come to life over the last few weeks and seeing it now thrilled her just the same. “Please,” she breathed. 

Quickly, you made your way over to the couch beside her. You wrapped your hand around the base of her cock and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were magnetic against yours, unwilling to part from any source of pleasure. You broke away from her though, making her squirm with need. You watched her reaction as you moved your hand slowly and started to jerk her off, lightly teasing her cockhead by running your thumb over her pink, leaking tip. 

She must have been trying for ages, because you’d barely touched her but already the poor girl looked as if she could cum. But that wouldn’t do for you unless she came somewhere more satisfying than all over her shirt and abs. 

“Poor thing,” you cooed. “Would it feel better if I used my mouth?” 

Mina bit back a groan at your question, nodding furiously. You went to reach for the hair tie on her wrist, but Mina read your mind. Her hand wove through your hair until she had as much as she could collect in her fingers, careful not to ruin your teal-colored nurse cap. She pulled back firmly, not only keeping your hair out of your face, but letting you know she was going to be setting the pace from here on out. 

You caught her eye briefly, thinking that your eyes must be as blown out with lust as hers were. You knew Mina really wanted to cum if she was willing to take the lead and as much as you loved telling her what to do, you loved seeing this more commanding side of her. You leaned in a little for her and she responded by gently pushing your head down. The moment her tip entered your mouth, you knew you were going to give in to anything she wanted. You kissed and licked around her tip, letting out an involuntary moan before opening your mouth wider to let more of her in. 

Mina grunted lightly at the sensation, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. She loved the way your mouth felt around her, and now she needed you, to claim you, to coat your mouth and throat with her seed. 

“Can I…?” she asked breathlessly, and you knew immediately what she was asking. She’d been training you over the last few months, stretching your throat, jaw, and retraining your breathing so she could fuck into your mouth endlessly without you needing to come off of her cock for a break or air. You were well on your way to becoming her perfect little toy. 

You nodded wordlessly, and Mina let out a heavy breath. Her grip on you tightened and she pushed you down further until your nose was up against the base of her cock. Your eyes watered a little but you invited her in, letting her fill and stretch you just the way she’d trained you. 

“Good girl,” she praised softly, using her other hand to touch your cheek reassuringly. She let up a bit and you proceeded to let her control your every move as she forced you to bob up and down slowly on her length. Sinking into a service-oriented headspace, it wasn’t long before you were drooling. The added wetness made it easier for you to glide up and down on her cock and filled the air with wet, lewd sounds while you continued to give her head. 

And Mina absolutely loved it. She loved the way you were so obedient for her, so willing to let her have her way with you. She loved how wet and puffy your lips became and the tears that threatened to spill from how hard you tried for her. 

“That’s it, just like that,” she said, watching her cock disappear into your mouth again and again. She continued to test your limits, pulling you back down to the base of her cock again before allowing you to come back up for a moment. Your warm, wet mouth felt incredible, but now Mina needed a little more. 

The next time you bobbed down on her length, she held your head in place. “Stay so nice and still for me, baby,” she breathed as her hips started to thrust slowly. 

You let out a muffled moan in response. This was your favorite part because you knew it meant two things: you had done well in working her up, and that Mina couldn’t hold back anymore. Her hips found a steady rhythm as she fucked up into your mouth desperately, her moans and pants becoming heavier. 

Her thrusts became gradually faster. Even though your jaw was starting to ache, you were at least at less risk of choking on her cock now because the more desperate Mina became, the sloppier she got. The couple inches that weren’t being shoved repeatedly into your mouth were in your hand now while you worked to jerk her off.

“Fuck,” Mina grunted. “Feels so good, just need to use you a little more...”

Her grip on the sides of your head tightened again and you really couldn’t move as Mina picked up the pace again. She was nearly incoherent now, murmuring half-completed praises to you as she tipped her head back. Her breath hitched and then hitched again as your mouth worked her closer and closer to the edge. 

Her praises trailed off altogether shortly after; the only thing you could make out was “fuck, yes, fuck,” and then she gasped. You took your hand away quickly and Mina pushed you down to her base as she came, thrusting violently up into your mouth. 

Your whimper was muffled and you swallowed what you could hastily. When she finally released her hold on you, everything you couldn’t swallow coated her cock while you bobbed shallowly on her length. 

You took your time cleaning her up, licking your way up her shaft and over her tip until she couldn’t stand it anymore and had to pull you up and away. She kissed you hungrily, unafraid to taste herself on your lips and tongue. Eventually she broke away from your lips, leaving appreciative, wet kisses down your chin and neck. 

“All better?” you asked, settling in to rest against her. Mina nodded, letting out a satisfied hum. “Much,” she said. She paused for a moment, then chuckled and touched the fabric of your costume lightly. “I'm lucky to have such an attentive nurse for the next six to eight weeks while I heal.”

[babyisa1]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ sick cuddles/TOM

warnings: none, just fluff :)

3:45pm

you sniffle, coughing weakly as you dial toms number. the phone rings as you wait impatiently, curled up in a ball on your couch. the ringing stops, and toms name lights up on the screen.

„whats up schatz“ tom answers, your face softens slightly at the sound of his voice. „tom.. can you come over? please.“ you groan, your raspy voice being heard on the other end of the phone.

„are you okay baby? whats wrong?“ tom replies, quickly grabbing his jacket and heading out of his front door, as you hear his keys jangling through the phone. „im sick.. and i miss you“ you cough, shivering under your blanket.

„oh baby.. ill be right there“ tom reassures, you could hear the empathy in his voice. „thank you.. i love you“ you say, your head pounding. „i love you too schatz.. ill be there in 10min“ he replies lovingly before hanging up.

10min later you hear your front door rattling, as tom struggles to push through it while holding two bags of things he got for you to get better. „im here!“ he exclaims, you lift your head up, smiling brightly at the sight of him.

his eyes meet yours, aswell as the countless used tissues scattered across the floor. „when you said you were sick i thought you meant a cold, not the fucking plague!“ tom remarks, giggling. you groan, letting your head fall back on your pillow.

he walks into the apartment, dropping the bags on the coffee table infront of you and sitting on the edge of the couch, as you took over most of it. „youre going to be fine baby, let me take care of you“ he whispers, raising his hand to your face as he strokes your hair out of your face. you nod as he plants a soft kiss on your cheek, before rustling around in one of the bags.

you peel your eyes open as tom pulls out some medicine, it looked disgusting. it was the type of medicine you had to put on a spoon and swallow. he turns towards you, noticing the frown on your face. „its just one spoonful, it will help schatz“ he says, pouring the bright pink liquid on the spoon before nearing it to your mouth.

„open baby“ he says, as you hesitantly open your mouth and taste the medicine, swallowing quickly. „good girl.. see, that wasnt that bad right?“ tom praises, your face contorting into disgust at the taste. „fuck thats vile“ you cough, leaning back against the couch.

tom frowns, feeling terrible that you feel so sick. he lifts you softly so that youre sitting upright, before laying himself down on his back and pulling you ontop of him. you sigh out, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck taking in his sweet scent. „are you sure this is okay tom? i dont want to infect you..“ you mumble, your eyes fluttering shut. you couldnt fall asleep all day, but laying in toms arms made it impossible to stay awake.

„of course baby, getting sick is worth it if i means im here for you“ tom whispers, kissing your hair as he rubs his hands up and down your back to try and comfort you.

you smile against his neck, slowly slipping into your slumber. while you sleep, tom feels his heart ache at the sight of you. he hates when youre sick, or when you generally feel like shit. he always drops everything to be there for you when you needed him, you were his number one priority. (along with bill obvi ;))

trying not to move too much, he reaches over to one of the bags on the coffee table and pulls out a new thermometer. he honestly had no clue how to use it and he read the instructions for like 15 minutes before he gently placed it under your arm.

after two minutes, he pulls it out and gazes at the tiny screen. 40°C. „shit..“ he whispers, starting to worry more when he sees how high your fever is. he lifts his lower body carefully, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and googles recipes for chicken soup to make you later. all he knew how to make was sandwiches and cereal, but he put in loads of effort to make you better as soon as possible.

he stays awake while you sleep for good measure, making sure hes there for you when you wake up. around 30 minutes later, you stir in your sleep, groaning as your breathing becomes iregular. tom knows you inside and out, he knows the pace of your breathing while you sleep off by heart. as he realises you are about to wake up, he rubs your sides lovingly, pressing soft kisses in your hair.

you peel your eyes open, lifting your head up as tom gazes into them, a smile plastered on his face. „good morning sleepyhead“ he whispers, placing a warm kiss on your lips. you melt into it, stroking his cheek. he pulls away, a look of concern taking over. „youve got a really bad fever love, let me make you some chicken soup?“ he suggests, your faces just centimeters away from one another.

„since when do you know how to make soup?“ you giggle, pecking his lips again. „umm since like.. maybe 35 minutes ago?“ tom mumbles, feeling a bit embarrassed that he had to google a recipe for something as simple as soup. you smile brightly, while tom admires your beauty. even though you were super sick, had dark rings under your eyes and a red nose from using tissues so often, you still looked perfect to him. flawless. he couldnt understand how a human could be so beautiful, you were his miracle.

tom slowly sits upright pulling you with him. he stands up, reaching his hand out for you as you slowly get on your feet. „put your arm around my- or just fall on me, that works too“ he laughs as you stumble on him, your head pounding from standing up.

„shit- sorry“ you stammer, using his arm to stabilise yourself. „youve got nothing to apologise for baby“ he replies, guiding you towards the kitchen as he rubs the side of your arm gently.

the rest of the evening went smoothly, you ate the soup tom made you and it was delicious. you ended up watching a movie together, but heard tom snoring before it ended. you turned the tv off, snuggling into tom as you drift of to sleep.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

im ripping my hair out rn bc i NEED tom to do this for me ;-;

[runningfrom2am]

hiii bestieee! I wasn't planning to send you a request this quick but I HAD to get this idea across!

A drew fic based on 'lost in japan' by shawn mendes! (Yes, a song fic request 🤭)

PLOTLINE IDEA: so the reader is far away from drew, and one night, impulsively, drew gets on a flight and comes to the reader because he was missing the reader a little too much than usual

LYRICS TO INSPIRE YOU:

All i'd take is one flight, we'd be in the same time zone

Do you got plans tonight, I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan and I, I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight, cause I can't get you off my mind

Do I gotta convince you, that you shouldn't fall asleep, it will only been a couple hours, I'm about to leave

BECAUSE COME ON THIS IS SOMETHING DREW WOULD DEFINITELY DO

anyways please please take as much time as you need! I already know the fic will be SO GOOD!! love youuu <3

AHHH FINALLY HERE IT IS!! im so obsessed you have no idea, thank you SO much for requesting this one i love it!! i hope it’s everything you imagined!!

lost in japan (d.s)

you're getting ready for bed in your small apartment, which for you, meant going back and forth between cleaning, working on lesson plans, and watching TV for hours on a friday night since you didn't have to be up early the next morning. typically, you'd be up quite late after a long week of teaching english to japanese students every day.

you love your job, truly, teaching and travel were your passion, and this opportunity has been amazing- but that didn't necessarily mean you couldn't get a little burnt out. you're homesick, more than anything. you miss your family and friends back home in north carolina, not to mention the beaches, and the sort of small town vibe that was nowhere to be found in tokyo.

you're just finishing up doing some dishes when your phone rings, and you're quick to dry off your hands and pick it up, furrowing your brow in confusion at the contact that's popped up. drew was busy, he was always busy, but you had been missing him, too. "hey, drew." you answer with a smile, quickly turning down the volume on the tv.

"hey! y/n, how's it going?" he asks, unbeknownst to you, chewing on his nails as he sits in an airport in another country.

"i'm well..." you answer, tilting your head a little bit. you're happy to hear his voice, of course, but still surprised. "what about you? how's filming?"

"it's good! i've got a bit of a break for the next couple weeks." drew answers, bouncing his leg and looking around the crowded room.

"that's good! you deserve a break." you smile, sitting down on your bed now. "what did i do to warrant the pleasure of a call?"

you talk to drew often, of course, being good friends since you met in university. you both had overlapping english classes and instantly clicked, and were luckily able to maintain contact even after he "made it big". he insists he would never forget about you, despite you joking about it regularly.

"well i was thinking, since i've got this break, maybe i could come visit you for a week or so." drew answers nervously. "i did want to surprise you, but i realize i don't know where exactly you live and tokyo is a big city so you might be hard to find." he rambles on a bit, waiting anxiously on your response.

"oh! uhm.." you reply, completely caught off-guard by his suggestion. you'd love to have him, but as you look around your small studio apartment, you're not sure there's room for company. not to mention, it would be a little embarrassing. you try to stay on top of cleaning, but it's hard to organize with little space.

"it's okay if you don't want me to come! god, i- i'm sorry, y/n, i shouldn't have thrown this on you so suddenly-" drew quickly backtracks, shaking his head at his own stupidity. of course he should have given you a bigger heads up.

"no! of course i want you to come!" you're quick to ease his mind as you sit up in excitement. "my apartment is just a little... tight, that's all. i was just thinking of where you would sleep. but of course, you're always welcome. when were you thinking of coming? i just need to organize a bit."

"well..." drew chuckles a little nervously. "do you have any plans tonight? i'm kind of already at the airport. i just couldn't get you off my mind today, decided to just go for it and hope you're okay with a guest."

you freeze up a little, in a bit of shock as you blush. he was thinking about you?  "oh! uh, yeah! i can meet you at the airport. what time do you leave? what time do you land?" you ask, standing up and looking towards your closet. you're getting ahead of yourself- it will obviously be a long flight, but now you're nervous. you've always had a bit of a crush on him, which was kind of an understatement.

"you don't have to do that." drew instantly protests. "i think i'll land around two-thirty tokyo time. i'll just take a cab, if you can send me your address and be up to let me in?"

"nonsense, drew, of course i'll come meet you." you giggle, already shuffling through your clothes as you look at your alarm clock. it's only eight, so you can try and get some sleep before you have to go. "i've got no classes until monday, i'll have a quick nap and meet you at the airport at two-thirty."

"sweet! that'd be awesome." drew replies, smiling to himself. he's so excited to see you, more and more recently he's been thinking about you. truly missing you, and he figured he'd take a leap of faith and come visit- especially since he knows you've been lonely. maybe, he thinks, he'll even be able to tell you how he feels. how he's always felt, and he'll be leaving japan finally able to call you his girlfriend. "so, uh, i guess i'll see you tonight, then?"

"see you tonight." you agree, absolutely giddy with excitement. "have a safe flight!" you quickly add in, almost forgetting your manners with the flood of adrenaline in your system.

"thanks, y/n/n. see you in a bit!" drew smiles, hanging up. perfect timing, too, they're about to start boarding.

you stand at the almost empty arrivals area of the tokyo international airport, anxiously watching the escalator and waiting to see drew after months apart. you had put on some of your nicest casual clothes, not wanting to look overdressed, but not like a mess either. after all, you had six hours to plan the outfit, considering you couldn't sleep for even a minute.

you look down at your phone again, checking the time for what must be the hundredth time since you left the apartment. two fifty-three. his flight landed on time, according to the screen on the wall, so he should be walking out any minute. you get a pit in your stomach, you're so nervous.

drew has the same feeling as he tries to blindly follow the other people who got off his flight, unable to read any of the signs directing passengers to arrivals and baggage claim. it's a long walk in a big airport, but it feels a million times longer since he's anxious to get to you. he comes to the escalator, seeing a few people waiting at the bottom, his eyes scanning for you, who he quickly finds. he feels his heart rate increase and he smiles, adjusting his bag in his grip, already feeling his hands getting sweaty. that's when you notice him too.

you smile wide, giving him an excited wave. you're practically shaking with excitement, or nerves, but you're just happy to not be so alone anymore. he gets to the bottom and gets off, quickly making his way over to you, you cringe a little when he drops his bags and opens his arms for a hug, you really wanted to hug him, of course, but culturally you know you'll get stares and disapproving looks. "hey!" you grin, immediately reaching out and blocking his arms. he furrows his brows in confusion, his eyes flashing with disappointment.

"sorry." you chuckle, awkwardly moving his arms back to his sides. "it's kind of rude to hug in public." you explain, looking around and hoping no one is offended. luckily only a couple people noticed, and they avert their eyes when they see you correcting him.

"oh, uh, i didn't know that. sorry.." drew blushes, avoiding your eyes for a moment.

"you're fine." you insist, trying to cheer him up. "i missed you, i'm glad you're here."

"i missed you too." drew replies, smile returning to his cheeks now. he doubts it will leave the whole time he's here.

"uh, do you have bags?" you ask him, gesturing toward the baggage carousel.

"nope, carry on only." he says proudly, lifting his bag off the ground and throwing his backpack over his shoulder.

"oh, perfect! then we get first dibs on a cab. follow me." you smile, turning and walking towards the exit. god, you hate making small talk, but the silence in the quiet airport is killing you.

"so, how's work?" drew asks, trying to hide the nervousness in his tone. he hasn't seen you in person in close to a year, and even then you were both so busy you had to squeeze in coffee on a lunch break when he happened to be filming close to home.

"it's good! i really love it." you nod, glancing back at him as you guys step outside. "the kids are all so sweet. it's a great opportunity."

"that's awesome. it sounds like fun." drew nods, looking around to try and get a bearing on his surroundings. it's humid out, but not hot.

"it is, yeah." you say. "one sec, i think this one is free-" he watches as you wrap your sweater tighter around yourself, walking up to a cab and waving to the driver as he unlocks the doors. you turn and wave for him to join you, and he walks up and opens the door for you, letting you in first.

you say something to the driver in japanese, drew assumes you're telling him your address, and quickly after that you guys are moving.

you don't talk much on the drive, again, it's polite to stay quiet, so when you do you only whisper. it's about a half hour drive to your apartment, and you get out, looking up at the familiar building quickly before thanking the driver and paying him.

"i can pay you back, how much was it?" drew says as you fumble with your keys.

"seven-thousand yen." you answer, giggling and looking up at him as you push the door open, knowing that means absolutely nothing to him.

"uh, in usd?" drew chuckles, following you in.

"don't worry about it." you giggle and lead him up the stairs to the third floor where your room is.

"it's really small-" you pause before you open the door. "and a bit of a mess so i'm sorry, we can find you a hotel tomorrow it was just a bit short notice."

"i don't care." drew shakes his head, smiling down at you. "we just get to spend more quality time together, hey? it's fine."

"okay bigshot, suit yourself." you chuckle, shaking your head as you open the door. you both shuffle in and you try to get out of his way so he can put his stuff down, and the second he drops it on the floor his arms are around you.

you freeze for a moment before hugging him back, leaning your head on his chest. "i've been thinking about this for months.." he mutters, taking in the scent of your hair, your skin, just you.

"me too." you whisper back, gently rubbing his back.

"no, like- you don't understand." he says, pulling away only a little to look down at you. "i- shit." he chuckles, shaking his head slightly in embarrassment. "i've really missed you. i think about you all the time, the best part of my week is when i get the chance to call you."

“me too.” you repeat yourself, blushing a little as you don’t know what else to say.

“well, come on, no, you’re living your dream out here.” drew laughs, gesturing around you only to return his hand to your back.

“so are you.” you raise your eyebrow at him and he shrugs.

“yeah, well, not really. my dream isn’t complete without you.” he bites the bullet, hoping you’ll understand what he’s saying. he chews a little on his bottom lip as he locks eyes with you, scanning them to get some kind of grasp on what you were thinking, or feeling.

your cheeks burn furiously as you briefly look down, unsure really what to say. “well… me too.” you giggle, laughing at having to say the same thing again.

a small smile flickers on drew’s lips and he reaches his hand up, hesitating to place it on your cheek and gently lifting your jaw to meet his eyes again. he hears his heart beating in his chest, and so do you, as he very slowly at first leans in. his lips meet yours so gently it’s like he’s scared he’ll break you, making you smile against his lips as you kiss him back. almost so much that it makes the task at hand impossible.

“i’ve been wanting you to do that for years.” you admit, staring into his blue eyes as you pull away only about an inch.

his forehead stays pressed against yours as he smiles, his breath tickling your lips as he speaks. “that sucks, because i’ve wanted to do that for years. you should’ve said something, y/n/n.”

it’s safe to assume now that you won’t be needing the bed you made for yourself on the floor.

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @mutual-mendes, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron

[base0h]

Hi, can I have a request with zoro, luffy, sanji and ace with a s/o ask to sleep and she is a bit sad with them and listen to their hearts? They sleep, but when they wake up, they see the s/o asleep with tears in the corner of their eyes, they try to wake her up but she doesn’t answer and they understand that she is dead...

Sorry, it’s VERY sad... but if you don’t like it, ignore it 🙇‍♀️

a/n - god.. sad- 😭 sometimes sad stuff is therapeutic tho :) (im crying while eating a cookie.)

Warnings ⚠️ - angst, g/n reader

I didn’t even get to say goodbye ..

Sanji

You weren’t feeling the best, unable to sleep, tossing and turning, struggling to find a position that at least granted you some comfort. No success, you laid flat on your back, hoping for Sanji to return soon. He always found some way to make you feel better no matter what. You almost jumped to your feet at the sound of the door softly opening. The familiar footsteps that made you feel slightly relieved. “Love, are you still awake?” Sanji asked, sitting down on the bed, interlacing your fingers together. His thumb moved across your knuckles, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand.

You wrapped your arms around him, letting your head rest on his chest. He was a bit surprised, but he gently embraced you, his hand finding the back of your head, running his fingers through your hair. He rested his head on top of yours, soothingly rubbing your back as gently as he could, tenderly leaning back against the headboard. “Y/n, are you alright?” He asked softly, careful not to be too loud. You nodded your head slowly, continuing to hug your lover tightly. He kissed the top of your head, continuing to try and soothe you. “I love you Sanji.” You said, your eyelids feeling heavy, the tears that were starting to well up in your eyes blurred. Everything was darker now, calmer, quieter. “I love you y/n, so so much.” He replied softly, smiling down at your sleeping figure. He rested his head back on the headboard, continuing his actions gently. Having you with him, sleeping with him like this meant the entire world to Sanji. He absolutely loved these moments where he’s just holding you, letting you sleep on his chest, you listening to his heartbeat. Everything was right where it needed to be.

The light that harshly shined down on you two made Sanji slowly wake up. His eyes hurt from just how bright the sun could be in the morning. His hand was still tangled in your hair, his other hand on your back, his fingers clinging onto your clothes. He looked down at you, moving the strands of hair behind your ear gently. He saw the tears that pricked your eyes, the dried spots of where tears fell the night before. He wiped your eyes with the side of his finger, looking at you with a concerned gaze. “Y/n… Are you ok?” He asked, trying to tenderly nudge you awake. When you didn’t respond, he tried tapping you again, gently rocking you side to side. No response. He started getting worried, he put his fingers to your neck, trying to feel a pulse.

Why didn’t he feel anything? His breathing became unsteady, his heart rate rising fast, “Y/n- you’re just asleep right? Love? Please- answer.” He begged, putting his hand to your cheek, desperately caressing your cheek with his thumb. It hit him, were you dead? No that can’t be, how could that have happened? He was there with you the entire night, no one could’ve killed you! There was no blood.. Your face, features peaceful as can be. Your eyes closed, your expression showing no signes of struggle. But why were you so pale..? Your skin cold to the touch when he was so used to the warming embrace that always welcomed him with open arms. He hugged you tightly, tears starting to fill his eyes, his blue eyes filled with such grief. “Y/n.. Please- don’t leave.. Don’t go yet..” He said, his voice breaking as he buried his face into the cold skin of your neck. Your arms fell from around him, only causing his heart to be wrenched even more. Your limbs were limp, your body cold, no pulse, no breathing. Only the tear stains from the night that spread across your cheeks. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye..”

Ace

Opening the door softly, the hinges creaking as usual. You saw the sleeping figure of your lover, Ace. His hair was all messy, some strands covering his eyes, some sticking straight up as if a balloon was attached to his head. Climbing into bed with him, he slowly woke up, feeling your body against his. “Hey baby.. You ok?” He asked groggily, giving you a dopey grin that would always make you feel a bit happier. “Can I nap with you?” You asked softly, leaning in front of him. He was almost offended that you had to ask him for permission. “Y/n, you don’t ever have to ask. I love you so much, k?” He asked, cupping your cheeks with his warm hands. He squeezed your face a bit with a joking laugh, that same mischievous grin on his face. You ended up laughing a bit by his actions, “C’mere, I’m cold.” He whined, leaning your head against his chest, your body curled up right by his.

He wrapped his strong arm around you, holding you close to him, his heartbeat softly echoing through your ears. He was so.. Warm, comforting. So much so that your eyes started to well up with tears, you didn’t even understand why. You dismissed it, letting the tears fall as you cuddled with Ace, his warmth spreading through your heart and the rest of your body. He was probably fast asleep, just your presence alone could make him so peaceful and calm. You held his hand with yours, interlacing your fingers together and squeezing his hand gently. He gently squeezed your hand back in his sleep, his head leaning close to yours. His hand that squeezed yours was so warm, gentle, yet strong. You closed your eyes, basking in this moment that filled your heart with joy, letting your body slowly get its much needed rest. Nothing could be more perfect than this.

Ace was the first to wake up, he grumbled something about how it was too bright out and how he wanted to fall back asleep. He looked down at you, and then at how your hand was intertwined with his. He smiled, squeezing your hand softly, saying that he’s there with you. He noticed the corners of your eyes were pricked with tears, he immediately started to worry. “Y/n, what’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?” He asked, gently trying to shake you awake in order to get an answer for your tears. You didn’t budge, you didn’t even make a sound. He looked confused now, his eyebrows furrowing with concern. “Y/n.. You’re really tired huh?” He asked, trying to tap you more annoyingly now. He tried squeezing your hand, but he quickly realized that it was cold, and that you were no longer squeezing back.

He tried to feel if you were still breathing, “Baby- this is a joke right? C’mon you got me-!” He said with a nervous laugh, continuing to try and wake you up, despite not seeing any sort of sign that you were still.. alive. He started to realize that maybe this wasn’t a joke, but his mind dismissed that. How could you be dead? No that’s not possible, it’s not right. He cupped your face with both of his hands, trying to get some sort of response out of you. But your body was limp in his grasp, why were you so cold?.. “You’re cold y/n..” He whispered, his breath starting to shake. His mind couldn’t accept the fact that you weren’t here anymore. Tears didn’t have time to fall down his cheeks, the overwhelming realization of this was all too much for Ace. He held you tightly, rocking back and forth while shaking violently. His breath was unsteady, cold sweat dripping down his forehead. No this isn’t right, this isn’t real. This isn’t reality. He didn’t even get to say goodbye, what kind of ending was this?

a/n - I got too sad to do Zoro and Luffy I’m so sorry anon 😭

<3

[toomuchracket]

I have to know how the first time you and flatmate!matty sleep together goes…. In detail. How does it start, is it spontaneous or planned…

i partially answered this one in regard to the circumstances leading up to it here but i am more than happy to reiterate and continue!!

so basically, matty bursts into your room half-dressed at like 4am because he's brought a girl back but he doesn't have any condoms and he knows you'll have some - he's so reluctant to do it, because you guys have never seen each other face to face on one of the nights where you've brought someone else home and he knows it'll hurt like hell for both of you but he really really needs to get off with someone so he stops thinking about you. anyway, the door slamming open wakes you up and you half sit-up groggily like "what?" and matty takes one glance at you and then regrets it because you're adorably beautiful, all messy hair and pouty lips and (this makes his knees shake) wearing his t-shirt to bed, so he looks around your room instead and says "where do you keep your condoms? i'm out". and something inside you just cracks and splinters your heart, but you tell him they're in the drawer of your bedside table anyway and lie back down, clamping your eyes shut so you don't cry. and matty reaches over, trying not to get too close to you, and grabs one, but then loses his footing on the edge of your rug and falls onto your bed, landing on top of you. and neither of you say anything for a minute, it's just heavy breathing and looking into each other's eyes and desire just radiating from both of you and your lips inches apart, until matty murmurs "i don't want to go back through there to use this" and you both know what he really means is that he wants to use it in here with you. and you run your thumb along his lips and say "then don't go back through there to use it. kick her out, and come back to me", and matty just kisses you slowly and passionately - your first kiss with him ever, and it just feels so right - and says "alright".

and so he leaves the condom on the bed and goes back through to his room, and you can hear him let the girl down ever so gently (he says something like "no my roommate is so poorly, im so worried about her, i think i need to look after her" which makes you giggle and the girl is really nice about it which makes you feel a bit guilty, but matty offers her money for a taxi and it's all chill). then when she's gone he comes back through and kind of lingers in your doorway for a bit just looking at you and you're like "hi... are you coming in?" and he just smiles so sweetly at you and goes "you're beautiful" and you're like "get over here, healy, i want to kiss you" and he's like fuck and runs over to your bed and then it's the two of you just making out and making up for lost time and pulling each other's clothes off. and then i honestly think that matty would be determined to go down on you and really take his time, but you grab his jaw and make him look down at you and say "that sounds amazing, but if you don't fuck me right now i think i might die" and that nearly kills him. so he's like ok ok ok and then he kisses you and you guys are fucking and it's so slow and meaningful and overwhelming at first but then it starts to get harder and faster and you close your eyes and matty's holding your face like "sweetheart look at me, please, i need you to look at me i need to see you" and you do and it's just so clear that this is what was meant to happen all along, and the atmosphere is so right that when he makes you cum and cry out his name you just slip out an "i love you" which then makes him cum and he's just whining through the orgasm like "i love you i love you so much". and then it's sweet kisses until you fall asleep, and the next day you continue to make up for lost time and go down on each other before having more sex <3

[ur1vr]

❤️‍🩹.

hobie brown x fem! reader

tw/cw: angsty, character death (not sayin who), hobie cryinOMFG THIS HURTS TO TYPE, medium description of blood, suicidal thoughts, suicide, sad shit EVERYWHERE…I APOLOGIZE, mentions of sharp objects.

listen to so my darling-rachel chinouriri, or la lune- billie marten <3 (both fucking hurt🫡)

you’re tired. you tired of all these fucking canon events. They tire you so much. You cry in stress in your room every night, everything piles up onto you. Miguel and his harsh comments, your loved ones passing away, you failing school, your parents hating you, it just never stops. You just wish it could end, and you’ve tried. pills, the sharpened knife on your kitchen counter, trying to kill yourself in your bathtub, letting the cold water go up your nose and into your ears. you’ve tried, but nothing ever worked.

One night you thought of trying again. As you were getting up to leave your room a portal opened, but you didn’t even bother turning around. “you okay love?” the familiar voice echoed through your room. You nodded slowly, but you knew he wasn’t gonna take that as an answer. He steps in front of you, looking at you with concern and worry. “ya know you can talk to me, right? Im here if you need me.” you looked at him with glassy eyes, tears already falling. “hey hey hey whats going on love?” you tried your best to make words, despite your shaky voice. “hobie i cant- im so like..fucking tired. im tired of a-all this bullshit on me and im at my breaking point where i might just k-“ “do not say that.” hobie says sternly, but with care.

You slowly realize that his eyes are glassy too, making you break down. “we need you here, I need you here. I need you here more than anyone else on the team, m’kay?” he says while looking at you, tears threatening to spill. “Im sorry.” you say. “what are you sorry about? what do you mean?” hobies breathing slowly turning uneven. He doesn’t wanna know, but he feels like he does. Then it clicks. “oh my god no.” “nonononono” he frantically checks on you then he rolls up your sleeves. fuck. He looks at you with…an emotion you can’t decipher well, which is making you nauseous. “you said you stopped” at this point you were full on sobbing at his words. “why did you lie? i could’ve helped yo-“ you push him away for a moment, confused.

“What do you mean could’ve..?” hobie takes a deep breath. “I meant it as why didn’t you tell me while you we-“ “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHILE??” your sadness turned into anger. “SO YOUR TELLING ME YOU CANT HELP ME ANYMO-“

“NO I CANT. I CANT HELP YOU. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? BECAUSE ITS GOTTEN TO A POINT WHERE NOT EVEN A REGULAR PERSON LIKE ME CAN HELP. YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP, CANT YOU SEE? LOOK AT YOUR ARMS LOVE AND Y-YOUR-“ hobie staggers down a bit crying and heavily breathing. “hobie..please.” “hobie look at me, talk to me please.” Hobie puts his head in hands and your heart shatters to the floor. “cmere.” he suddenly says with a scratchy voice. You immediately go to him and hug him like never before, and he hugs back just as tightly, kissing the side of your head still crying. “Im so so s-sorry hobie..please forgive me.” You plead as if he would disappear at any moment.

*time skip🫡*

you and hobie are cuddled on your bed, but you can’t sleep. You stare at your ceiling, only thinking of him. The tears that welled in his eyes, the sadness in his voice, the guilt. It made you want to cry even harder, wondering why you could’ve just fucking stopped. You turn your head to look at him, tears streaming down your face. Hes sound asleep next to you, but you just wanna wonder what hes thinking of. Does he hate you now? It scrambled through your mind. and you thought of something again, but ended up whispering it. “im so sorry hobie, i cant do this, it wont stop at all.” you kiss his forehead tearfully and get up. you find a piece of paper laying at your desk, looking up, you see pictures and polaroids of you both smiling and laughing. A picture of your first date. The kiss at the firework show. You guys at the park. you sniff as you grab a pen and start scribbling down: “im so sorry hobes, i wish i could’ve stayed longer my love. Thank you for everything, i love you so much my little spider-punk.”

You slowly get up and place the paper where you were laying down. you look at your loving boyfriend one last time, before entering the kitchen. You end up finding the knife. “He tried hiding it…” you say quietly crying. You raise the knife to your wrist, targeting your vein roughly, and the rest went from a blur to pitch black. Hobie wakes up in the middle of the night and feels an empty space on the bed. He frantically jumps and looks around the room and finds the paper. He reads it, and tears start flowing like a waterfall down his face. He immediately stands up and yells your name, trying to find you around the house…and when he finds you, its heart breaking. He finds you unconscious on the cold floor, blood slightly seeping from your arm. “nonono please PLEASE.” He yells as he picks you up, lifting your head first. “look at me baby-look at me please, please love don’t die on me my love please” he says while sobbing, trying to find any sign of life in your face.

but he finds none.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

My two main mike ideas include fucking him in the car or at least sucking him off while keeping watch on someone orrrr reader forgets he asked mike over to his house to help with something and is fingering himself and mike catches him (but the reader doesn’t stop cause he always wanted mike to take what’s his)

OOOO both good ideas :3 im prolly gonna do smth w/ both eventualleigh but imma do the second one for now

can’t believe y’all are getting me mikepilled 😵‍💫

anatomical terms: pussy/cunt/hole, (t-)dick

“hey mike can u come over tomorrow morning? :)”

“K”

To be fair, there probably should’ve been more details exchanged on both sides. A simple time check would’ve saved you from the awkwardness that fate had prescribed you.

For you, morning meant 10AM at the earliest. Having anything to do before 10AM was practically a human rights violation.

For Mike, morning started at 5AM. Always an early riser. Maybe old people were solar powered. Maybe they were up from sunrise to sunset to make sure they got a full charge. That’s the only explanation you could think of. Who the hell gets up at the crack of dawn recreationally?

Mike does.

And apparently, your dick does too.

Classic testosterone. Male puberty may have started late for you, but it came out the gate swinging. It had to make up for lost time.

You woke up at 8:30AM to your junk needing attention, t-dick puffed up and ready to go, hole leaking, practically crying for fulfillment. You looked at the time. Meh, you could make it work. After all, self care is important, right?

Mike thought he was being generous by coming over at 9AM. Surely any self-respecting individual would be up and on with their day by then. He knocked on your door and waited for you to answer him.

Nothing.

He knocked again, harder this time.

Nothing.

Of course, he thought as he rolled his eyes and dug in his pocket. He pulled out a key ring and flipped through all of the illicit keys he had made. One, two, three, there’s yours. He breached your front door and stepped inside. Once inside, he made his way toward your bedroom, figuring you were asleep at best, dead or missing at worst.

He did not figure that he’d come across your bedroom door wide open, nor did he expect to see you half naked on the bed with your legs spread. Your eyes were sewn shut; your back was arched; and, most damning of all, you were 2 knuckles deep in your own pussy, writhing and whining as you got yourself off. Evidently, the day didn’t start until you finished.

Mike was unfazed, blunt and succinct in his message to you. “I can come back later if you want.”

You screamed and yanked the blanket over your shame, as if that would somehow erase what he saw. Staring like a deer in the headlights, chest rising and falling as you hyperventilated, you scrambled to pluck a response from your overcrowded mind. You ended up with “How… how did you get in here?!”

“That’s not important,” Mike replied, “Now, do you wanna get dressed or do you wanna finish up and I’ll come back later?”

As the brainfog cleared, a revelation came through. You wanted something else. You stuttered, “I… I want…” and shirked the blanket off you, “I want you, Mike. Please…”

“No, you don’t,” He sighed, “I guess I’ll come back later when you’ve got your head on straight,” and turned to leave, “Noon work for you?”

Noon most certainly did not work for you. You called out to stop him. “No, wait!”

Mike stopped and looked back over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at you. “What?”

You dragged your hand down to where it once was, spreading your lips apart with your fingers, hoping to entice him inside. “I-I’m serious, Mike. I want you. Please…”

Mike turned around fully. He hated that he was considering this, but he loved the sight of you even more. On display, begging for him, and a not insignificant wet spot on the sheets below your butt. He trudged across the room until he landed at your side. Your heart was racing. Your cunt and dick were dripping and throbbing. Your face was probably somewhere between excitement and desperation. He rested his hand atop yours, and took a deep breath before sneaking his fingers inside you.

“Fine.”

[80pairsofcrocs]

baby scarab || 56

A/N : no requests could go into this one, but a lot of the interaction with you guys inspired it so enjoy.

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : THERE IS NO MORE SCHEDULE, IM SORRY also thank you all sm for the support and requests :)))

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, a lot of violence, language, fighting, it gets kind of dark. let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

you woke up the next morning to your phone ringing.

you groaned out of annoyance and maneuvered yourself over jake- who you fell asleep on- to unplug your phone and answer it.

it was only 8 in the morning, and grace was calling, so of course you answer since she could need something.

“hello-“

“y/n hi! i was wondering when casper was going to be heading back” grace interrupts quickly and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“..what?” you whisper.

“it’s okay if he wants to stay but i need him back by dinner-“

“grace” you start, jake waking up beside you and listening in.

“yes?” she asks.

“casper went home last night- he’s- did you check to see if he slept in?” you question and it’s silent for a minute.

“no.. his- his stuff isn’t here..” grace says worriedly and you take in a shaky breath.

“grace i need you to stay calm, but i need you to go to the police station and file a missing persons report” you begin, getting out of bed while jake watched with wide eyes.

“after that, when there’s something- anything- i’ll try and find him. here- wait i’ll go out and try to find something too just please-“

“yeah, okay i’ll- i’ll go now” she shakily tells you.

“i’ll come to you as soon as i find anything”

“god bless you, y/n” is the last thing she says before hanging up.

jake followed you quietly as you wandered through the whole house grabbing anything that could help you.

that would include a small drawstring bag with a first aid kit and some pocket knives.

“hey, we’re coming with you” jake announces and you shake your head.

“jake.. guys i need to focus- i need to be by myself-“

“there’s no way in hell that we are letting you go by yourself-“

“it’s not the worst thing” steven begins. “let her do this, you know she can” he defends you.

“see? steven gets it” you say. “casper is missing and it’s my fault” you mentally tell khonshu to give you your suit, which he does.

“i should’ve made sure he got home” you finish with tense shoulders. “now if you don’t mind, i’m going to find him” you head right towards the window, when jake stops you.

“y/n” he addresses you by your name, so you know he’s serious. “we know we can’t stop you.. just- we have another mission so it’s not like we can be there if we wanted” he says quickly and you sigh.

“if you’re still out when we are done we’ll find you” he nods and you agree.

“i’ll be safe i promise” you tell all three of them, but mostly to marc who looked like he was going to cry.

“okay- i really need to go now, i love you guys” you open the window and jump out, the mask forming on your face when you stick to the wall and climb up to the roof.

you looked down at the sidewalk, thankful it wasn’t too busy so you could see it clearly.

letting out a breath, you jump from roof to roof, following the path casper would’ve walked to get home.

what stopped you in your tracks about halfway to his house, you saw what looked like dried blood in an alley right next to a cracked phone.

you jumped down into said alley, and rushed to the phone to grab it with your gloves hands.

there was no doubt this was casper’s, which also meant you couldn’t track him with that.

you sigh before setting it back down for the police, and then examine the blood.

your heart ached and you could almost feel vomit rising from your stomach at the sight.

just the couple splatters had to be him. there was no way his phone would be in the same place as a strangers blood.

you decide to climb back up to the roof and look for where someone could’ve taken him.

and that’s when you saw it, tire marks on the road- going in the opposite direction from the alley.

you tilt your head at it and notice that there’s what looks like oil spills near it as well.

now, it may sound weird but your heightened sense of smell might actually come in handy for once.

you jumped back down to the ground and into the empty street to crouch down and smell the oil.

you chose to do this because if you caught onto the scent, there was a chance you could follow the trail the car went.

kind of like how a dog would.

you shake off any nervousness and ignore the stares and the flash photography, and start following your gut instinct and your senses to try and find out where this car went.

you decided to call grace while you swung from light pole to light pole.

she picked up after two rings. “hey, grace i think i found something and i’m seeing where it leads” you tell her and you hear her let out a sigh of relief.

“oh thank god, i’m just about to go in and file a report”

“alright, well i gotta go i just wanted to let you know” you finish and she hums.

“stay safe out there”

“you too, grace” she hangs up after that.

you continue to follow the smell of the unique oil until you reach where the city ends and a forest begins.

that meant you had to either try and swing from tree branches which have a 70% chance of breaking, or you could walk.

you decided to walk due to obvious reasons.

there was a faint trail, where the cat had escaped to the woods. which meant you didn’t have to forcefully smell that awful oil anymore.

it was about another five minutes of walking behind trees when you saw a big building, in the middle of nowhere.

you tilt your head as the tire tracks lead right to the car parked outside.

you felt a weird and very sudden sense of rage, and sped towards the building, launching yourself up onto the roof silently.

there was a window on the roof luckily, and it was convenient that it was cloudy, otherwise they would’ve seen your silhouette on the ground for sure.

there were two men and a coffin like thing, and right next to that was casper.

he was sitting on the ground leaning against the wall, and his hands were behind his back.

you shakily sigh and your eyes widen when you see the blood dripping down his temple.

they probably pistol whipped him, but that wouldn’t explain why it was still bleeding.

“it doesn’t look like she’s coming” one of the men cuts you from your thoughts, and you listen in.

“just a little longer, we didn’t take this kid for nothing” he points to casper, who was just staring at the floor, fighting tears that gathered in his eyes.

your heart felt heavy and your stomach dropped, but you had to focus so you didn’t screw this up.

“but why didn’t we just take the girl? we don’t need him” the other guy points out, gesturing to casper at the last part.

you scoffed silently and continued to listen. “because she would’ve put up a fight, plus she’s got khonshu on her side now” he argues back and the other man just hums.

you took this as your cue to finally make your move.

you punched the window below you, making a loud noise alerting everyone down in the building as they all watched you jump down into your so called ‘fighting pose’ before standing up and staring towards the two men.

“see, i told you she’d come” one of them states and you harden your glare before shooting a web out at that guys face and yanking him towards the ground.

that’s when the other man, now the only threat conscious pulls out a gun and points it at casper, who was trying his absolute hardest to stay calm.

you stared and completely froze, letting the web in your hand go since the man attached was on the floor unconscious anyways.

“take that mask off, we all know who you are y/n harrow” he starts. “unless you’re afraid. poor thing, masking her fear” he chuckles and you shake your head, hesitating to actually take the mask off, but you do anyways.

“what do you want? whatever you want with me, leave him out of it” you point at casper, and the man chuckles again.

“we just needed to ensure you’d be here” he keeps the gun aimed at him. “you see, we’ve been watching you for quite some time” he begins to explain, and you dart your eyes from casper, the gun, and then the man every couple seconds.

“and we’ve concluded that this kid was the one thing we knew you’d come for. the moon knight would’ve beat us all to a pulp, but him? he is just a pathetic mortal. nothing special about him to keep him safe” he shrugs and you clench your jaw.

he wasn’t pathetic. you wanted to tell him that so much, but one wrong move and he could easily have a bullet in his head.

you didn’t want to take any chances.

“okay well i’m here now, so let him go” you say firmly and the man chuckles before shaking his head.

“now, it doesn’t work like that. we’ll keep both of you here until he gets what he wants”

“..he..?” you hesitate in asking.

the man chuckles again before starting to explain again.

“in that coffin right there is the body of your father” he says bluntly and in the time it takes for you to look towards it, the man literally drags casper up to his feet to hold the gun right up to his head.

you feel your eyes tear up at the sight when you look back, but stay frozen in place knowing he would shoot if you came closer.

“now go on and open it” he nods to the coffin and you shake your head.

he simply presses the gun harder against casper’s head, making a pained groan come from him.

you slowly walk backwards towards the coffin and regretfully open it.

you threw up in your mouth, but quickly swallowed it back down at what was in it.

arthur harrows nearly decayed body, a few bullet holes in his chest.

“now you listen to me very carefully, girl” the man starts again. “one drop of blood to one of his wounds will bring him back. we’ve already done the ritual, we just needed you”

“why couldn’t you do it, you freak” you spit and he raises and eyebrow.

“watch it, your little boyfriends time is running out” he taunts and you look to casper who’s shaking his head.

“to bring him back to life, he would need blood of his own, and lucky for us we have you. his blood”

“i am not-“

“just do it” he grits out and you look back at the body inside the coffin.

“here, i’ll help you out” he moves the gun from casper to you, your senses not warning you in time as he shoots at your leg, the bullet going right through your thigh.

you gasp and kneel down to the ground due to the pain as you hear casper yelling at the man in anger.

“you know what to do!” the man yells at you, so you pull yourself up to the coffin and stick one of your fingers into the bullet hole in your thigh, and you hold your hand over one of the many bullet holes in harrows chest, and you regretfully watch as it dripped into one.

your wound started to heal, and casper let out a sigh of relief, but it quickly turned to horror when there was a bright purple glow emitting from the coffin.

you stood up and took a couple steps back from it, and you watched in a morbid curiosity as the wounds on harrows body healed, and his skin turned from a sickly grey back to the more lively tan it once was.

his eyes opened and the purple glow went away as he slowly sat up and looked around the room calmly.

casper was frozen in fear and so were you, but the man holding casper was absolutely ecstatic.

“finally.. you’re back” he breaths out, but harrow pays little mind as he stares directly into your soul.

“and i knew you could” he says distractedly, standing to step out of the coffin.

“there she is.. my-“

“don’t say it” you cut him off. “i am not your daughter. i never was”

he just smiles in response and takes a step closer to you, but you stay in place.

“now, i know how you feel. i would feel confused too if i was just now meeting my only real family”

“real family? you tried to- you are a stranger! i don’t know you!” you yell at him and he just tilts his head.

“i’m your only blood, y/n”

“yeah, because you killed my mother. you killed my birth mother, and you don’t even care” you bite down on your tongue to keep yourself from shouting too much.

“i had to-“

“don’t give me that bullshit! you are sick to even think about killing someone” you shout, and harrow chuckles.

“hypocrite. you didn’t think that when you killed that man” he points out, and you could almost hear casper’s heartbeat pick up at the news.

“..he almost killed my dads” you start. “my real dads. not you. you’re supposed to be dead, the only reason you’re here is because that guy has a gun in casper’s face” you nod over to casper and the man.

“just please listen to me” harrow puts a hand out in front of him before putting it to his chest.

“i’ve waited so long to actually meet you, and with no interruptions this time” he starts. “i know this seems bad, but it’s for a greater cause”

“what are you talking about? i don’t even know why i’m here” you tell him, making it known that you really did have no idea why you were there.

“you’re here to carry on my legacy” he starts to slowly walk closer. “ammits legacy, our legacy” he now stands a foot away from you.

“i don’t want to” you shake your head.

“that’s a shame. it’s not a choice, you either help me or we will simply make you. it’s your choice there” he tells you and you take in a shaky breath.

you just close your eyes for a second before clenching your fists at your sides.

“..just don’t hurt him. don’t go near my family” you try an negotiate and harrow nods.

“that’s completely fair” he tells you, and in this moment of vulnerability, you swing your fist upwards, making harrows head fly back and you turn to run towards casper when a gunshot is heard after harrow yells the word ‘shoot’.

you shoot a web out towards the man’s chest and yank him down, and then you rush to casper who had fallen.

“oh my god- no no no- please tell me he missed” you pray to yourself, reaching behind him to rip the ropes that held his hands together away, and throw them to the floor.

“i didn’t feel anything, i’m okay” he assures you, but you check him over anyways.

and that’s when you saw it.

blood soaked through his shirt, right under his heart.

this time, you let the tears start flowing and casper looks up at you in confusion.

“are you okay? did it hit you?” he asks and you shake your head.

you press down on the bleeding wound and take a breath.

“no- i’m- i’m okay” your voice cracks at the end of your sentence.

“then what’s wrong?” he asks a bit quieter this time.

“khonshu please- give him the suit- just help him!” you yell out into the air, but before you could even see if anything happened, someone pulled you away and kicked you right in the face.

it was the man from earlier, the one who was now smiling down at you.

“not so brave now, hm?”

“don’t kill her” harrow warns and the man just nods before pulling out his gun again.

he wasn’t going to shoot you no, by the way he was holding it, it looked like he just wanted to hit you with it.

you were having none of it of course, and tripped him over before crawling on top of him to punch him in the face, drawing blood from his nose and effectively staining your suit.

after that, you push yourself back up, only to fall back down to your knees by where casper was laying, your legs being soaked in the blood that was pooling from his body.

your bottom lip shook as he kept his eyes on you, slowly blinking.

“y/n..?” he croaked out, a shaky hand coming up to reach out towards your face.

you took his hand in yours and held it to your chest as he wheezed for breath.

“i don’t feel good” he starts, and you let a tear drop into the puddle of blood beneath you.

“i know. it’s okay though, you’re okay” you try to assure yourself more than him.

he just smiles and shakes his head. “i can tell you’re lying” he chuckles almost silently and you let out a pained sob.

“khonshu can’t help you- he’s- he’s with-“ he stops you from talking when he coughs, blood coming up from his throat.

you felt sick.

this was all your fault.

casper was dying and it was because of you.

he didn’t even get to say goodbye to his family.

and it was your fault.

“hey, it’s okay. don’t cry please” he tells you and you just grip his hand tighter, ignoring the fact that the two people in the room were just watching.

“casper please-“

“i love you” he smiles and you just bite your lip before speaking.

“don’t say that. don’t- you can say it when you’re better-“ you cut yourself off with a single sob.

you see casper’s eyes fight to keep focusing on you, and you looked to his wound to see that it was still gushing blood.

blood that was all over your hands and the majority of your suit.

casper’s blood.

the blood of your first friend, your first love.

“it’s okay” he repeats and you keep shaking your head in denial.

“let me go, you need to get home where you’ll be safe” he chokes out and you blink away more tears.

“no. i cant- not without you- please” you plead, leaning down so that your foreheads now touched.

“you have to” he starts, not knowing these would be some of his last words before unconsciousness.

“please tell my family i love them”

“tell them yourself. you’re not dying” you try to convince both him and yourself.

“i am, and it’s not your fault” he says, shocking you while his eyes start to close.

“…s’ not your fault..” he whispers out before his hand falls from yours, making you lift your head up from his to move your hand to check his pulse.

it was very faint, but it was still there.

that’s when a crash was heard, the man who shot casper now had a crescent shaped blade through his chest.

he was here, and by the looks of it, it was marc specifically.

you turned around and reluctantly left casper and stared towards harrow with am unfamiliar feeling.

marc was walking in your direction, but you didn’t notice as you saw nothing but red.

harrow backed up with his hands up in surrender but you just shook your head.

he was afraid.

he was no longer powerful, since he didn’t have any special powers anymore, or an angry mob to protect him.

your mask was still down, so he could see the rage in your eyes, and the blood staining your suit along with your face as well.

marc stopped you from moving towards harrow, talking about ‘worrying about him later’, but without a second thought you shoved him away and ran towards harrow.

“wait! y/n stop!” you hear steven yelling, but you don’t stop.

you shoot a web out at harrow, attaching it to his leg before pulling him down.

“come on, y/n. when will you realize this is your destiny?” he asks you and you move to stand right next to him, who’s laying on the floor.

“this isn’t my destiny” you shake your head with a sickening smile on your face.

“and you don’t get to tell me who i am” you say before noticing the crowbar that was sitting untouched on the ground only a few feet away.

“don’t do it. it won’t make you feel better” jake warns, and you only look over to see that marc was working on getting some of his armor on casper to heal him.

you just looked away and walked to the crowbar, ignoring the shouts of protest.

in this time, harrow tried to crawl away, but stopped at the sound of the crowbar scraping against the concrete floor.

“you should’ve stayed dead” you bring the crowbar up above your head before it’s held still by marc, who had rushed over to stop you.

he moved himself in front of you, while still holding the crowbar at the same time you were trying to push it back down.

“not you. i cant let you do this” he tells you and you feel tears gather in your eyes.

“i have to. he killed my mother” your voice cracks at the end of your sentence.

“i won’t let you- it’ll only make you feel worse” marc tries to reason but you push the crowbar to the side then push marc away again, and shoot a couple webs out to stick him to the ground.

“y/n don’t!” steven yells to you but you grip the crowbar and ignore him, heading right for harrow again.

“if you do this, you’re no better than me” harrow warns, his arm still out at a weak attempt to stop you.

“i’ll always be better than you” you grit out, readjusting your stance as all three of your dads were yelling for you to stop.

your eye twitches and you raise the crowbar again before bringing it down directly onto harrows chest.

the dull thud of the metal against his ribs made steven want to throw up.

the crack of his ribs themselves didn’t even reach your ears as you brought the crowbar down again and again.

over..

and over again..

until harrow was dead once again.

blood was splattered everywhere, and it matched your ragged breathing.

blood was dripping from the crowbar, your hands, your face, everything.

it was sticky in your hair, and it was dead silent except for the sounds of steven trying to stifle sobs and marc still trying to get unstuck from the floor.

it felt like some kind of daze.

you blinked, and then you could see again.

it was like you blacked out- you look to the right to see marc struggling to get free from your webs, and you saw casper, who was staring while khonshus bandages did their work on his wound.

you dropped the crowbar in shock and looked down at the corpse below you through blurry vision.

your breathing picks up and you hear a ripping sound before seeing marc get to casper while keeping an eye on you.

“…oh my god-“ you turn to one of the empty barrels near you, and proceed to vomit into it.

you turned back to marc and casper, who were both looking to you as well.

you begin to walk towards them hesitantly, when you stop in your tracks once you take in everything around you.

casper got shot, and you just prevented your dads from trying you help you before you just murdered someone with no remorse.

you looked down at the body of arthur harrow, and you silently gasp before you eyes widen.

marc’s mask comes off, and casper looks at you with pleading eyes.

“hey, it’s okay, come here” marc waves you over gently and you shake your head, backing up.

“y/n, please” casper agrees with marc but you keep shaking your head.

“i can’t- what have i done..?” you look down at your bloodied hands and looking up at the broken glass on the ceiling as a way out.

“don’t go y/n it’s okay, just come here and we can talk about it” steven says after he calms himself down a bit.

he hadn’t been sobbing his eyes out because he was scared, no.

it was because he knew this would happen, he knew you’d end up regretting it.

jake and marc have both been in a same type of rage you are just in.

where you just black out and don’t realize what you’ve done until it was over.

the one time it happened to marc, he drank until he couldn’t remember anymore.

but you? you didn’t know what to do.

you kept darting your eyes from harrows now dead again body, your hands, and your dads next to casper.

“darling please-“

“steven- i can’t- i might hurt you”

“no you won’t, you would never” casper defends, and you shake your head.

“look what i just did! it’s- it’s my fault you got shot too!” you direct the last part at casper and he gasps.

“no it’s not-“

“it’s my fault you’re here in the first place” you say and casper cuts you off.

“no it’s not. it could never be your fault- it was out of your control” he tries to calm you down but you keep backing up.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry” you whisper, looking down before having the mask form back onto your face.

casper gets up with the help of marc, and they both start walking towards you.

you shoot a web up to the ceiling and swing yourself up through the large hole in the glass, right before marc could grab you.

“no! come back down here!” steven yells after you, but you ignore him and run off to good knows where.

~~~

“shit” marc mumbles, turning back to casper, who was clutching his side in pain from still healing.

“okay, come on you have to get home” he tells him, and he nods, letting marc lead him out.

“what about y/n? where is she going? is she going to be okay? she needs to know it’s not her fault” casper tells marc with a shaky voice, avoiding the corpse and the unconscious bodies on the floor.

“i’ll find her, don’t worry” marc tries to assure casper along with himself.

“holy shit..” casper mumbles to himself, and once him and marc get outside he staggers to the ground.

marc tried his best to let him down slowly so that he didn’t hurt himself.

jake recognized this, everything was catching up to casper all at once.

“oh my god- is my mom- is she okay? they didn’t hurt them did they?” he asks in fear and marc shakes his head.

“no. we have someone keeping an eye on them, they are fine” he assures the boy, but he starts to hyperventilate.

“i was just kidnapped and- and i almost died” he starts, taking in a large breath. “and y/n thinks it’s all her fault- she’s gone now” a few tears rush down his face while marc tries his best to comfort him.

“deep breaths, you’re safe now, khonshus healing you” marc says, and casper nods.

“i’m going to take you home now, okay?” marc asks and casper nods again.

“you promise to find her?”

“i do. we promise”

~~~

marc did take casper back home with no interruptions, and by the time they were there he was completely healed.

grace thanked him profusely while tears streamed down her face, and allison did as well.

his father however, just gave him a nod.

that really irked marc. it was like he didn’t even care. casper could have died or been seriously injured.

marc did have to go though, since casper wouldn’t stop worrying about how you could be miles away by now.

so now he’s at home. in your room.

because jake had an idea.

you see, they had no idea where you could be.

so jake thought of the glasses peter had gotten you, which have been possibly tracking you by the ring you always wore on your right middle finger.

and plus the suit peter made for you would be active since you’re now way too far away from khonshu to still have the suit he gave you, so there’s that.

jake was fronting, and he found edith 2.0 and put them on so that they were resting on the bridge of his nose.

“welcome, jake lockley, how can i assist you?” edith asks, and jake flinches at the sudden voice but quickly comes back to his senses.

“can you.. can you track y/n?” he asks edith hesitantly.

“miss lockley is currently 12 miles away, at an altitude of 28 feet” she informs him.

“she’s on a roof” marc points out and jake nods.

“edith, can you help us get there?” steven asks after he fronts.

“of course” edith replies.

~~~

it was hours later, and you were still pacing back and forth on the roof of some random apartment building.

just thinking.

thinking about how your boyfriend was now terrified of you.

thinking about your dads and how mad they are at you, they probably never want to see you again.

that’s what the tiny voice in your head was saying anyways.

they weren’t going to want you anymore, casper hates you. he’s afraid that you’re going to hurt him.

these thoughts flood your mind, making it so that you didn’t know of the presence that showed up on the roof with you.

your senses went haywire for a second before you turned around, seeing jake without the mask, with the most worried you’ve ever seen him.

you couldn’t blame him though, your hair was messed up and soaked with blood due to you pulling at it.

your cheeks were soaked in your own tears, which were still coming down.

your metal suit, the first time being worn was soaked in blood too, from the still wet stuff dripping from your hair.

jake took a gentle step towards you, to which you backed up until your back hit the brick chimney behind you.

“you stay away from me!” you point at him and he puts his hands up in surrender.

“y/n we just want to help you. it’s going to be okay-“

“no it’s not jake! i just killed somebody- i can’t- you both saw it! you all saw me kill him!” you yell at him, and he just shakes his head.

“we did but it doesn’t change how anybody feels about you” jake says calmly and you wipe your tears away.

“casper didn’t let us leave until we promised to bring you home. safe. y/n- he isn’t afraid of you, he’s afraid for you” jake starts.

“he’s scared you’re going to end up hurting yourself. or worse” you scoff at him.

“you’re just saying that to get me to come back like nothing happened”

“no, he’s saying it because it’s true. we love you y/n, so much. we won’t watch you destroy yourself over this” marc cuts in and you sigh, looking from side to side for an escape.

steven saw that, and mentally told khonshu to be ready for when you eventually tried to run.

you did so, but before you could even take a step, khonshu summoned bandages to keep you stuck to the brick chimney, keeping your arms at your sides so you couldn’t web anything.

“what- khonshu come on, let me go!” you yell into the air, then proceed to mutter curses.

jake walks closer, and in a panic you try and get out of the bandages.

“hey- will you calm down? y/n listen to me right now!” he exclaims when you don’t react, and you freeze to do so.

jake has never raised his voice at you. not like this.

“please” he starts, his tone completely changing. “let us take you home. nobody is mad at you, we promise” jake seemed to be only a couple seconds away from completely breaking down.

you happened to do so first, stopping your struggling to just stand there and let tears flow freely down your face.

“i’m sorry-“

“no. please say anything else” jake pleads, and you take in a deep breath before continuing.

“i want to go home” you whimper, the bandages loosening so that you could move freely.

you wipe your tears with the back of your metal covered hand.

“i know, come here” jake says gently, finally coming close enough to pull you into a tight embrace.

you didn’t hug him back at first, instead you just cried into his shoulder.

“let’s go home now, steven can make you dinner and we can do anything you want” jake tells you, and takes your nod as the go ahead to hook his arms under your knees to pick you up and start on the short journey home.

~~~

you stood as still as a statue while you watched steven cook dinner.

he darted his eyes to you every couple seconds even though marc and jake were keeping an eye on you from the two mirrors in the room.

you just stared at the wall and refused to take the suit off or sit down.

they were fine with it, as long as you were happy.

“darling? it’s time to eat” steven interrupts your staring contest with the wall, and gestures for you to sit down.

“would you like to take the suit off yet?” he asks gently and this time you nod, pressing the button on the ring and feeling the tight metal almost melt away.

you let out a sigh and let steven guide you to your chair to sit down.

he sits down in his seat across from you and silently waits for you to start eating.

you slowly pick up your fork and stare down at the food for a second before very slowly and hesitantly poking it around.

steven thought it was good enough considering how you could be feeling right now.

so at least touching the food was a good sign.

“..would you like to talk at all? about anything?” steven asks softly and you just sigh before looking up at him.

“i shouldn’t have let him get to me” you start, thinking about your next words. “i should’ve known he was trying to get in my head”

“you’re doing so well. you’re very strong for admitting that- and it’s not even like you did anything wrong, you couldn’t have known in the first place” steven rants, and grins when he sees the small smile forming on your face.

“there she is” marc says. “there’s our girl” he finishes, referring to the smile that was forming on your face.

“is casper okay?” you ask, and steven nods.

“khonshu was able to save him, he’s completely healed. just tired” he shrugs and you let out a breath of relief.

“i don’t know how i’ll be able to make it up to him- you said he didn’t care?”

“he only cared if you were alright” steven answers and you nod.

“he doesn’t hate me?”

“oh please, that kid is so in love with you it’s painful to watch” jake scoffs, which makes you smile fully before taking a small bite of your dinner.

your smile faded though as you chewed up your food, and you watched as steven ate too.

“..he almost got killed just because he knew me” you realize, and steven is quick to shake his head.

“no, that’s not why”

“then how come he-“

“it’s because you have an attachment to him. whoever was watching you realized that” jake says and you sigh.

“school starts like- in two days and he almost just died, and if i’m at school and he’s at home then there’s nobody protecting him-“

“y/n you need to calm down, he’ll be okay-“

“you don’t know that” you argue back, feeling sick all of a sudden.

“i wasn’t there to protect him” you say more to yourself than anyone else.

steven sighs and let’s marc front due to his mental request.

“it.. it wasn’t your fault. what’s important now is that you’re both safe” he tells you sternly and you nod.

“….can i save this for later? i don’t feel good” you ask quietly and marc nods.

“you’re eating it later then, you’re not going to bed on an empty stomach” he says and you nod.

you sit there for another minute before you start to get really annoyed by the constant metallic stench of all the blood on you.

“let’s get you washed up, yeah?” marc asks and you just silently nod again.

marc got up and helped you to the bathroom, where he gently wiped all the blood from your face and your hands.

you didn’t say a single word, you just watched him.

he had to help you into the shower as well, to which you eventually had to speak, telling him you didn’t want to be by yourself, so that how marc ended up sitting on the floor of the bathroom while you aggressively cleaned all the blood off of you.

but jake was the one who had stealthily left to go get you your comfiest clothes, which in reality were his own.

marc old plain white t shirt, and a pair of stevens old sweatpants.

and he threw in one of his own hats too, your favorite one.

both luna and pedro were waiting on your bed too, due to jakes request and surprisingly they listened.

it was only five minutes later that you were dressed and sitting on your bed next to said cats, hair still dripping with fresh, clean water, jake next to you just waiting for you to do or say anything.

you ended up just clutching jakes hat to your chest, and leaning into his shoulder while you tried your best not to break down again.

you just couldn’t stop thinking of casper, and the fact that the last time you saw him he was half dead.

you blink a couple times before closing your eyes completely, letting jake lay you both down so that you could better rest on him.

honestly, all three of them could care less about what had happened.

and that’s only because everyone turned out unharmed in the end.

granted, they needed khonshus help in healing casper, everyone was fine.

everyone but you.

well, casper of course would have some sort of ptsd or another, but he needed to be sure you were okay before worrying about himself.

he was selfless like that. he refused to even acknowledge his own feelings before yours.

you loved that about him, but you wouldn’t lie, it also is one of the things you wish you could change about him.

not in a bad way though, just as in a ‘you have feelings too, idiot’ sort of way.

so that’s what you were going to do.

you made a mental plan in your head before you fell completely asleep on jake with the cats.

tomorrow was your last day of summer, the next being your first day of senior year.

so tomorrow you were going to pick up some flowers for grace and some treats for allison, along with another little gift for casper as a sort of apology.

you wanted to make things right, you needed closure.

and once you told steven, marc, and jake, they would help you out.

they always will.

always and forever.

~~~

A/N : ugh this took way too long :/ anyways, i really hope you all enjoyed it, also my next chapter realistically will be the halloween special, coming on october 31, so watch out for that.

you are all amazing and i love you all so much, thank you for all the support througout everything. i do in fact have school, and i very much miss writing and i do it as much as i can, but it’s still slow so forgive me there.

i’ll see you all soon, and i love you &lt;3

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