#please give the books a reread
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#Draco doesn't need a redemption arc#and Harry is more interesting than people think he is#I wanted to say more but I lost my line of thought#my whole point is Drarry is a coming of age relationship lmao#no really#jokes aside this is for the fics#that try to rewrite Draco a friend to Harry#but then end up making a new antagonist for Harry like either Theo or Pansy#um no fuck u#like why???#Draco cannot be replaced narrative wise#the story exists because of who he is as a character#you cannot just replace him with just nobody#also it wouldn't be with the same āI took that personallyā like Drarry have#like it takes a Draco for Harry to forget his morality and start taking it personally#like im just saying though
tags via @thalthanmadanus
Kudos to you for putting this all together. It's why despite this ship not actually sailing in the canon, it has so much canon support it feels like canon to me.
Draco is THE antagonist of the story and I'm lowkey sick of people diminishing his character's importance in the story and to Harry's character development. so I'm writing an essay about how Draco as a character is fucking important especially his antagonistic arc
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1. The crumbs:
First of all, and this doesn't get mentioned often, Draco is the first magical kid Harry meets his age.
Not only that, he is our first glimpse at two major upcoming conflicts in the series: Blood Supremacy, and Hogwarts houses.
Draco plays the important role of the narrative foil to Harry. (even wikipedia references them in the "foil" page)
Draco's main function as a character is to showcase Harry's best traits, through being his most worst. Unlike, Snape and Voldemort, Draco is more concerned with creating internal conflicts for Harry than external ones.
He is the character that says mudblood the most, with the frequency decreasing every book. He is the character that plays with/teases/bullies the psychological vulnerabilities of the trio (specifically Ron and Harry). He is one of the few characters that give rational criticism (against Hagrid, calling out the trio dynamic..) that, taken outside the keyframe imposed by the author, can showcase the flaws in Harry's views and his bias. He is also the only character that shows moral self-reflection that isn't motivated by either a reward or "love", which not only serves as character development for Draco but for Harry too who grows to sympathize with Draco, a small breakup from his fixed binary morality.
Draco is also a very active character. His actions and choices affect the plot. The majority of the first book literally happens because of his dumbass. In the second book, he is our first introduction to the word mudblood, he's also the main suspect to the two main mysteries. If Draco wasn't such a bitchass, would buckbeak gave been in said place for Harry to use him to save Sirius?
He is important narratively but what interests me is his importance to Harry's arc.
What separates Draco from other antagonists is that he creates internal conflicts that stem from his personal conflicts with Harry, because of Harry as a person. Not because Harry's the chosen one standing in his way, not because Harry's lily or James's son. Because Harry's Harry. and this exchange is mutual.
Their personal dynamic is set up in their first meeting. Harry, upon hearing two sentences from Draco, reacts negatively because of deeply personal issues (Dudley). I don't think Harry reacts personally to any other characters the way he did with Draco? Considering that Draco wasn't even hostile in his first sentences.
While Draco targets both Harry and Ron, there's a clear difference in how Draco bullies them both but also how Harry and Ron perceive Draco.
Draco is crueler on Ron. And his bullying doesn't feel personal, just apathetic, humiliating and mean. It feels like Draco is more cruel on Ron because Harry chose Ron over him and it shows by Draco coming back every now and then searching for Harry's compartment, trying to egg him, to look for a way that will make Harry regret rejecting Draco.
About Harry & Ron perception about Draco, it's showcased in the second book by the two main major events Draco was suspected in
1. Opening CoS. It was Ron who suspected Draco for this, not Harry. Ron suspects Draco for an action that affects everyone in the school.
2. Sending Dobby. Harry suspects that it was Draco that sent Dobby to prevent Harry from coming to school. Harry suspects Draco of an action that targets him specifically, and his reason of suspect? "because Malfoy hates me". It's personal.
Another instance of Harry making every issue personal with Draco: In the fifth book, after the sorting hat's song about houses unity
'And it wants all the houses to be friends?' said Harry, looking over at the Slytherin table,where Draco Malfoy was holding court. 'Fat chance. '
I'm also pretty sure the reason why Harry chooses not to be in Slytherin was 50% because Draco got sorted into Slytherin. the other 50% being Hagrid telling him that Slythering are eviiil. Btw a conversation that wouldn't have happened if Draco hadn't brought up houses in their first meeting.
Like I said, most of the plot in the first book goes back to Draco.
My main point is that the relationship between Harry and Draco as characters is beyond goals, motives, obstacles, moral causes bla bal bla, and is on the spectrum of "I took that personally".
2. the main plate:
Draco transitioned in the sixth book from an antagonist to a "side character" with a life. His role as character no longer functioned by his connection to Harry.
and this is where a flip of dynamic happened, where Harry became the antagonist to Draco's arc.
He's the one following him. He's the one egging him on (in the first 5 books,it was always Draco starting conversations with Harry, but in the sixth book, it's mostly Harry who started conversations with Draco) He's the one hurting him (Sectumsempra) (even on accident). He's the one trying to create obstacles to Draco's goal.
and why is that? why was Harry so obsessed with Draco?
If it were because of a moral righteousness, then why not focusing on Snape who's probably more suspicious? like who cares about Draco.. yeah he's sus but Dumbledore says it's not important..
This line of thought is more Ron and Hermione because they don't share the kind of deep personal issues towards Draco like Harry does.
so why is harry so obsessed?
"Harry, knowing and loathing Malfoy, was sure the reason could not be innocent."
This line in the sixth book explains it. Harry knows and loathes Draco with more emphasis on *knowing*.
Harry admits that he knows Malfoy, of course the fruit of labor of staring at Draco for five years, but why does he even stare in the first place? Because Harry is curious about Draco.
In comparison with Snape and Voldemort, our other antagonists,Ā Harry doesn't show the same enthusiastic curiosity for them. At least not the same way he does with Draco. Most of what we know about Snape and Voldemort are shown through external ways. Either their memories of memories of other people about them. Their character arcs happen outside Harry's vision,Ā either in the past or in a memory. It's not Harry who seeks those information. They come to him.
Draco, on the hand, most if not all of his character development happens in front of Harry. From his bullshit in the five years to him crying in the bathroom, him lowering his wand, him lying in the Manor. even the visions that Harry sees through Voldemort about Draco torturing Rowle, are happening in the present. Draco's character development is laid bare in front of Harry.Ā
but back to his obsession in the sixth book, it's because Harry knows Draco so well that not only he's right about him being a DE, but "Malfoy being up to something" is not something new to Harry, it's actually a normal thing that kept happening for 5 years of his life. Malfoy was always up to smtg. It's this idea of a normality that fuels like a new purpose in life for Harry after being wrecked by Sirius' death. Not only the mystery tingles his detective neurons, he knows he's right about Draco which only fuels his persistence. Draco being a person he hates also downplays the guilt/shame Harry could feel while stalking him. like I'm sorry but Harry was shameless and embarassing the whole year. The way Hermione and Ron looked at him sometimes so funny, also Hermione distancing herself from Harry when he talked to McG about Draco like "idk this person". Harry was kinda giving pre-HBP Draco vibes lowkey.
This shows that Harry himself is motivated by personal feelings (though negative) as an antagonist to Draco's arc himself.
And the important point here is the flip of dynamics. Draco is not just a mere side character in Harry's life. If anything, the moment he tries to become a side character with his is own arc, Harry is forcing himself in it. Because they're both foils to each other. It doesn't work on just one side.
The dessert:
The dynamic completely evolves again with the end of HBP as Draco gains a moral sense and Harry watching Draco's character development unfolding gains a more nuanced view than his old black/white one.
In DH, Draco and Harry are not antagonists anymore to each other. Draco and Harry are kind of heroes to each other?? as they both try to save each other like two times.
A lot of people downplay Draco's lie in the Manor, comparing it to Dudley's "You're not a waste of space" as "character development" moment.
bruh.
Dudley said that after Harry saved him. Draco literally was the one who took the initiative to lie, expecting no reward, literally had more to lose by lying, he was literally acting against his own interests, his family's life was in danger!!! Harry saved Draco after Draco saved him.
also Draco's character development started with him lowering his wand.
but back to being each other heroes. Our other comparison is Ron who is in both situations where Harry saves Draco but he's the one reacting negatively and complainig about them saving Draco, not Harry. Which is funny because Ron says "we saved you" but in both cases it's Harry who's doing the saving and Ron isĀ just there witnessing, and again I don't think he still realizes what was happening since the sixth year. He thinks his hostile feelings towards Draco are the same ones Harry has. That they're similar. Ron.. Harry literally almost risked your life to save Draco.
It also speaks of character development from Harry that he's not reacting negatively anymore towards Draco. He grew out of it. Like Draco also was starting to grow out of his toxic ideologies.
They're both growing up simultaneously.
And Draco was The first wizard kid Harry talked to (with no precognition or insidious motive)
Draco was the first character who he flew with
Draco was the first character who he dueled with
and so in DH,
Draco was the first character who tried to help Harry with no selfish motive
Draco was the first character that flew with Harry on the same broom (at least I think so?)
Draco was the first and only character whose wand Harry dueled with against Voldemort and won.
I wish I could write more. About Sectumsempra. About wand connection. but I'm tired.
#drarry#hp meta#hp#please give the books a reread#they hold up#harry potter is a great character#draco malfoy is an absolute gremlin
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hi . rubicon time
#sorryyyy was rereading book 1 today lost my mind a little bit#just have to say. bear with it!! please!!!!! the first questions are bad theyre meant to be bad!!!! give it a chance!!! i rushed it seohgwh#cw for suicide mention also#pharsalia nostra vivet#wanted to makeit 49 questions but i coudlnt think of anything ever
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hey. if you haven't read the A Chorus of Dragons series by Jenn Lyons (highly recommended for high/hard fantasy lovers)
Some of the wording is intentionally a tad misrepresentative simply because its funnier that way, but it's still accurate.
please read a chorus of dragons by jenn lyons. please. i promise I've spoiled like nothing, there's so much context and other happenings missing. i am begging
#a chorus of dragons#polls#started compiling this around book 2 in my reread because of a single comment#because I thought it would be fun#i will say i considered including nothing made up and being like SIKE this ALL happens the series is WILD#but no. one is genuinely fabricated#it feels obvious to me but. that's probably because I made it up myself#mutuals please#it tried to be so careful about it#so that different options wouldn't give each other away#which meant I had to leave out other things I'd have loved to include#anyway#vote in my poll boy
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Hi GT,
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!
So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)
I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.
#greenteacup asks#my beef with Y/A is mostly expressed in a dissonance between tone and content#LOVE the content. dystopia fantasy horror sex and blood ā awesome. but question. why are they all saying 'darn'?#like in the vampire diaries where they'll watch people get eaten and then 2 episodes later be like 'omg SCHOOL DANCE'#(EDIT: actually in fairness. on the vampire diaries. it was mostly just caroline that did that. unfair example my apologies)#& i distinguish this critique from a common bitch-and-moan complaint about tv shows being interested in 'girly' things#like relationships and social standing. that is not my complaint. that shit is delicious. i will chomp that shit for days#my issue is that when the stakes oscillate wildly from episode to episode and i can't tell what the main thing is#like sorry. a story with murder in it is always going to be about murder. you can't make it not about murder#unfortunately! many have tried.#and in general i have difficulty reading about teenagers bcā#(she says having written 600k words about them OKAY I KNOW. i contain multitudes.)#because they're either mini-adults (preferred flavor. jude in the cruel prince nails this) or like leetol babies to me#and unless it's something like the hunger games where the Leetol Baby thing is part of the story#i'm like. hang on. you're 12 what are you doing here#percy jackson was hard for me to re-read as an adult for this reason#which is why they're enjoyable for teenagers! because as a teenager you DO feel like an adult#and you like reading books that treat you like one! nothing wrong with that! healthy even!#only then you get past the teenage years (mashallah) and you get stuff like twilight#where of COURSE bella doesn't think twice about 117 year old man falling in love with her#because he looks like a rich mysterious 17-year-old hottie#but you reread it later and it's like um well. that. could be explored a little more maybe.#i'm not even necessarily opposed to it. candidly. still team edward. i just think the dynamic should be more fucked up and juicy.#which Y/A authors are often reluctant to do. like. COWARDS! face the nasty consequences of your narrative decisions!#anyhow. you didn't ask for any of this. please give me your recs lovely person you seem very nice.
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Potential January Reads
A Brilliant Night of Ice and Stars by Rebecca Connolly
Rhododendron Pie by Margery Sharp
So Big by Edna Ferber
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Vibrant Paradoxes by Bishop Robert Barron
The Diary of a Country Priest by George Bernanos
Doctor Thorne by Anthony Trollope
Katherine Wentworth by D.E. Stevenson
#monthly reading lists#books#i have so many specific books that i've been lining up#(especially since at the end of the month i was saving new books for the new year)#that i don't need the wider categories#the january categories are still represented#we have lots of vintage fiction (including an american one)#the first book is the story of the carpathia's rescue of the titanic#soon as i saw that premise i was like 'yes please'#it will cover january's category of a book with a cold setting#i read the first couple of chapters and a novel from the perspective of real people is very weird but i like the story so i'll keep going#i also started 'rhododendron pie' and it seems delightful#it's about someone straddling the worlds of normal grounded people and artsy people#and as someone from the world of normal grounded people who likes artsy stuff but still has the perspective that a lot of it is quite silly#i think it will be nice and relatable#i think i'm going to succumb to jane-eyre-ry#every time i consider a different classic reread my brain's just like 'what about jane eyre though?'#'vibrant paradoxes' is a book of essays that i got for free along with my book of church fathers#it's a very thick book to give away for free and looks good#i love essays and these are nice and short#it'll be good to dip into through the month#(i also want to read the church fathers book but that's not something to put on a monthly reading list)#(just something to read through thoughtfully like the bible)#'diary of a country priest' caught my attention months ago#and now that the library hold came in i have zero interest#but maybe putting it on a list will convince me to try#i'd kind of like to keep this one-barchester-a-month thing going and 'doctor thorne' is next#'katherine wentworth' is exactly the kind of vintage fiction that january is made for and i'd like to try and get it off my unread shelf#oh and i forgot to mention someone recommended ferber's first book#but when i downloaded that one i also figured maybe i should read the famous pulitzer-prize-winning one
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I wasn't planning on posting art here because this is a "writing" blog but here's my oc x Alex
#Jay draws#The land of stories#The land of stories fanart#Tlos#Tlos fanart#The land of stories oc#Tlos oc#Alex Bailey#āwritingā blog but I haven't written anything lmao#If anyone has Alex writing prompts PLEASE give it to me#I think I'll just try to write an OC x Alex story#But I don't know what to do with the timeline and Rook#I'm thinking of placing it in the 3rd book but what do I do with Rook..#I haven't thought much about my OC except that she's purple#And possible a witch.. I'm not sure </3#I created my OC before I was done rereading the 2nd book and when I reread the 3rd book I realised my OC was basically Rook but a girl so#I have to change my OCs story now lol#I was thinking that someone unaware she's smart/the fairy godmother's granddaughter would be nice#And maybe they meet when Alex is granting wishes#Then I read the 3rd book and that's basically Rook š#Also Alex what in the world is strawberry blond#Is this even strawberry blond?? Alex your hair color is sooo so confusing
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Rereading RotE is so fucked up bc you know exactly which of The Horrors Fitz is about to experience next and you canāt do anything to stop itā¦ is this how the Fool felt all those years
#iz rereads rote#shouting at my book like no donāt give any of your memories to that dragon!!!#oh god please clarify what verityās asking you for before you say yes#oh no oh no oh no
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reading a book like its lined with crack only to goggle the author and they haven't written anything else. sometimes for years... only the ao3 girlies have lived similar pains.
#honestly i'd give ten thousand coho and steve king books for a chapter. a crumb even#hannah johnson#know not why#shelby van pelt#min jin lee#gillian flynn#i think grr martin deserves a honorary mention. despite me being unable to reread the series at a decent pace. wow when please š„ŗ#bookblr#a text post
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"How can you see places like this... and have moments like this and not believe?"
Did I search for this song using the phrase "a walk to remember soundtrack"? Maybe. Is it also crazy this is technically(there's no technically but ya know) Christian music? Nope. I mean not if you've seen A Walk to Remember.
#mandy moore did her thing with this one#christian music#christian rock#a walk to remember#I don't know why everytime I watch it I think I wont cry#I'm not special#music#spotify#please stop giving the teenagers cancer#yes I'm also thinking of 'lighting up like a christmas tree'#that line made me put down mr.green's book for a month#i was a teen#i should reread that#Spotify
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Snork and Snorkmaiden's relationship in the books is so funny
They are the most sibling sibling characters that exist I love them
#especially in āHobgoblin's Hatā they made me laugh very hard I also love at the end of the book that it was SNORK who wished to turn back#Snorkmaiden's not well thought of wish#it was very sweet (he wouldn't get what he wanted either way if I remember correctly) (I really REALLY need to reread the books or I'll#evaporate)#oh yeah also I never posted my art of Snork on here??? that's crazy because I draw him a decent amount#I'll change that when I have something cool to post of him#Wait does Snork even have any merch aside from cheap figurines? š¤Ø I don't think he does WELL... *Common Snork L* /j#okay but what about Muskrat#Emma the stage rat merch where is it at#I'm just gonna make most of my moomin merch at this point š MOOMIN CHARACTERS āØļøtmāØļø ARE *NOT* GIVING ME WHAT I NEED#except for that one the Ancestor keycharm I love that keycharm so much it's the best thing ever so happy I got him and not someone lame like#Snufkin or whateva š /j (I LIKE SNUFKIN I SWEAR DON'T DIE ME PLEASE)#what am I even babbling about at this point
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Rip but twc book 3 came out and everyone got quiet after 2 weeks, huhā¦.
#prawn posts#I liked it but also I didnāt replay either route#mostly bc stressed out and couldnāt enjoy anything but my dash got QUIET#but also it was so rushed :( Mās route was so good tho. I think it spoiled me#little Miss Esme Wolfe was WINNING with everything in her route#meanwhile Charlotte the Miserable failed everything and cried a lot#which did suit them.#anyways Iāve put enough tags in to talk about it#it was so rushed and I hate how cartoonish the trappers are. I miss the horror vibes of book 1#like I know itās a romance series but please give me some dark horror drama#and donāt punish me for not having a good relationship with Rebecca??#plus you can miss so many things or have your stats disregarded#it sucked having my high combat detective just likeā¦fail. despite her stats being good enough#just UGHā¦ sad. Iām gonna reread it sometime but Iām glad FH came out at the same time#bc Iām significantly more excited to read and make things for it at the moment
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yeah but genuinely piranesi inspires such a feeling of longing and solemnity in me... the nostalgia for home and the acceptance of growing older. can i get your thoughts on it!!
OH GOD I donāt even really know where to begin, Iāve been trying to put my words together all night!! I feel like thereās so much I want to say but I donāt know where to start.
I guess I will start with how I felt just after reading it, which was just like such an indescribable feeling of hopefulness for the future. I love stories like this that focus on real aspects of life in a fantasy perspective, especially with the way this story handles the situation of trauma and recovery (at least this is the conclusion I ended up with). And the entire time I felt so involved with the story and the way it is read as if piranesi is writing to us directly through the whole thing, which in a way he was or was writing in hopes of someone reading it which idk I just adore this, I think it just is such a fun way to involve the audience. And I like that we can directly see his growth through the story, from childlike wonder to his better understanding and the great reveal at the end. I do agree with your sentiment of growing older cause this does reflect that aspect in such a large way.
Piranesi as a character and who he becomes at the end i just canāt help but cling to. Thereās so much I want to say about his entire character, who he was and who he became but GAHH I DONT HAVE THE WORDS. Please just know that I love him dearly and I am completely attached to his character. I havenāt been able to stop thinking about him since I started reading (though to be fair this is only day 3 haha). Either way, I love him so fucking much jfc I am clinging to him with my entire life!!!!!!!!
I think most importantly I love the message of the book. I love the setting and the way it utilizes this as a way to push its message, or at least the message I got from it in the end. That trauma can and will change us against our will and despite becoming entirely new people, we still must care for our self as if we are caring for the people we once were. And even in the situation where trauma is not a factor, we still do change as people from who we once were when we are younger. I feel like I am not wording that good at all haha but I tear up thinking about it a bit. You cannot ever go back to being the person you once were and thatās okay. It just means you should strive to care for your current self because that person you once were is still apart of you and you should strive to care for them and yourself in turn. (I also find it so weird and ironic that I was just discussing this topic with a friend sometime last week, where I described how detached I feel from my younger self to the point where she is apart of me but I am not her and that I feel like because Iām the one that lived in the end, I will take care of the body she left me and the people she left behind in her shape. So when I read that part about Piranesi taking care of Matthew, I had to actually take my break at work just to sit and dwell on that. IT SCARED ME A BIT AT HOW ACCURATE IT WAS TO HOW I FEEL BUT GOD DO I ADORE THIS BOOK FOR IT. its just odd that i had been meaning to read this book for a few months now but i only just chose this week to read it. funny how it all works in the end)
I feel as though Iāve gone way off topic lolol but yes!!! I ADORE this book in its entirety!! I love the world building and just everything about it makes my head spin with glee!!! I definitely want to do a reread sometime soon once I get the book (I typically listen to audiobooks at work!) because thereās so many parts I loved that Iād want to further dive into. I JUST. THIS BOOK. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Thereās very much more I want to say but this is as much as I could get out of me atm!!!
#asks#putting it under read more cause a bit of spoilers lolol#THE BEAUTY OF THE HOUSE IS IMMEASURABLE; ITS KINDNESS INFINITE <3#god I donāt even know how to dive into my feelings on the house just yet#please do know I adore that aspect of it as well though. I adore the idea of the house and its love#the way it acts as an anchor for piranesi. god there's so much to say about the house.#i already want to do another reread but giving myself time to fully let it sink in before doing that fkkgjjhdfhdjkg#books that make you feel things are one of the greatest things in the world but watch out. the emotions. /SILLY#BUTYEAH. I LOVE IT. SO SO MUCH. SLAMS MY HEAD INTO A PILLAR.
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i read too many fantasy books i just read the new ones and go wow
read this before
and i haven't
unfortunately i have unkillable love for side characters syndrome so as much as the whole premise may be kinda halfway to shit and the main character is once again the most special ever and the lead is the same fifty shades of morally grey and bland hot i will still read the books and the sequels just so they don't kill off my new children
and then they do
#i think this is fully comprehensible but i needed to say it#this is about fourth wing in particular#the author kept writing plot twists like they were really gonna get me this time and i was like bro#this is not surprising#shoutout my children imogen ridoc liam tho#i can't decide if i should try to find a copy of the next book or just read the wikipedia summary to see if its worth it#i know this whole post sounds obnoxious as hell but eh#somebody please give me original fantasy i need more leigh bardugos give me a real twist or something really fucking off the wall#on that note i am taking book recs preferably new adult fantasy#not that anyone will see this but still#i just reread the tags and i meant fully incomprehensible#whatever
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the way one of my friends offered to get people drinks. one of the others asked for a rum and coke, so i asked for a vodka lemonade n then they stood right behind me and went 'is olive allowed to drink?' it killed something inside me a little bit. like i wasn't episoding i've been responsible about my drinking recently don't take away my autonomy when i'm capable of looking after myself please. i know i barely can but don't. don't make this one of the few things people will actually talk to me for
#sorry but i just feel so isolated in the friend group#like no-one's leaving me out its just everyone is coupled up and the only other single people are in a qpr and go home together to watch#korra everytime we hang out and it kills that i'm the only one who has to go and be alone. everyone else skips off all happy and i'm left#to go back to my little den of depression and fight through the panic abandonment response that i get every time i leave them#but if i isolate myself completely i will be even worse. my therapist told me to make myself socialise as much as i can and i've been tryin#and it's usually alright for most of the time when we're together. like nice even if its heartbreakingly lonely and i dont have the spoons#to contribute consistently to conversations#vent#sorry i'm just. i feel like i'm falling apart slowly#catching bits as they fall and shoving them back into me but still deteriorating faster than i can fix myself#i want to stop.#i can't be a human anymore#i can study and live in literature but i cannot be human#i can't be loved.#i just want to beg one of my tutors to let me camp out in their office for a few hours so they can help me somehow do my essay#like. i can't do it on my own. i can't think enough to scrape up my memory of the books i'm writing about#and i don't have time to reread them to find quotes#i just. want to be a cat hiding under people's tables with the occasional pet from people who are kind enough to like my type of creature#but be left to sleep and do what i need to at my own pace#is that really so much to ask? can i become smaller please. take away this body of mine and give me something that fits the shape of me
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pre-history au!!!
This is the result of reading The Dawn of Everything ā which is a really great look at the immense variety of social configurations that existed in pre-history ā while having Sydrian brain worms. So it's a hunter-gatherer AU. I always get pretty emotional about how humans were always humans, yk?
In what continent does the story take place? I don't know. When exactly in the really broad timeline of prehistory? Look, back when there were vampires, ok? Adrian says in The Fiery Heart that he has no idea where exactly vampires fit in human evolution and with this fic you can keep wondering lol
Sydney and Adrian come from different but intersecting groups
With Adrian I'm imagining a society where Spirit and spirit guidance has a known role, and where dreams have social importance. He still has the downsides of spirit but he has a better defined role.
With Sydney I enjoyed thinking about how a character who is so defined by being extremely intelligent would work in a society without writing and still be just as smart and capable. I thought about her love of stories and knowledge and witchcraft. I thought about the huge diversity of languages that existed then, even within one group. Her protectiveness and loyalty. Her curiosity. And her wish to travel.
And some romantic fluff. A lot of romantic fluff.
This is probably the one I thought about the most and the longest. Which does not actually mean that I wrote that much. It's just short of 25 hundred words long
I almost posted a section of it involving Malachi Wolfe that I was proud of immediately after writing, but decided against it lol
Also, I kind of didn't name any of the characters. It feels weird to have characters called Sydney and Adrian and Eddie in a prehistoric setting. It makes it a bit complicated
#answersd asks#rapha rambles#thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it#Sydney is the apprentice#Eddie is the hunter#Ms. T. is the teacher and if you find out on your reread whether she's near or far sighted please tell me#Adrian was ?????#he ????#the spirit guide???? the dream walker????#wolfe might be wolf#i need to find out what cave paintings paint was made of actually#and how far back different kinds of boats go#It happens around Sydney's initiation as witch#according to the book secret societies are pretty old#there was conflict previously between their groups but they're trying to move past it#their dads were assholes#don't want to romanticize it but also humans were always humans and lufe didn't uniformly suck yk?#i don't know what I'm talking about and it's a problem
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Listen I DO enjoy reading the lord of the rings but I am EEPY and forget to mark what page I left off on and occasionally wake up to find the book is fully under my bed
#Iāve had these specific copies for ten years they are worn#and have broken spines from so many rereads#and listen it may be chaotic but I dog ear#I donāt care it gives it character#theyāre MY books and Iāll do as I please#other books I bookmark but not these ones
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