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nctsworld · 4 years ago

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two nights, one you

✩‌ jaemin ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fuckboy!jaemin | strangers (who f*ck) to (brief) enemies to lovers | ‌10.9k

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ a last-minute one night stand gone awry is extended into two nights when you’re snowed in at the cute (but rude) stranger’s apartment on christmas eve. [loosely based on the movie, two night stand] // part of the x-mas in ncity collection GENRES ⇾ crack | smut | fluff WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ ‌lots of bickering and dialogue, smut, oral s*x (f and m receiving), fingering, mentions of alcohol/drinking, swearing, bit of angst before the end, jaemin’s an asshole... or is he? RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ explicit TAGLIST ⇾‌ @infnteen

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ it’s late (and long fsldkm), srysry but here it is! i hope the humour comes out in this and look away if falls flat zzz fingers crossed that i can finish the last two installments for this collection asap!

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

Maybe it’s because it’s the evening of Christmas Eve Eve and you’re feeling more lonely than usual.

Maybe it’s due to the two glasses of wine you guzzled down in the span of fifteen minutes that get you buzzed.

Maybe it’s your prominent six-month dry spell and you’re in desperate need for some much needed rain in your drought.

Or maybe it’s just pure impulsiveness.

Regardless of the reasons, you’re aiming to get laid tonight.

It’s 9:45pm as you make the rounds on Tinder. You’ve used it in the past, searching for a relationship in vain, but haven’t used it much since you broke up with your last partner. Bringing the app alive again, you’re already bombarded by distasteful messages, off-putting one-liners and jokes, and swiping left more than you’d like.

You haven’t had a one-night stand before, but isn’t there anyone on here that is just a little bit attractive, nearby where you are, around your age, and is somewhat chivalrous about the topic besides saying DTF? Maybe you need to lower your standards if you want to get dicked down tonight.

But then, you land on him.

One Na Jaemin, 20 years old, and only four miles away from you.

Scrolling through his profile pictures and Instagram feed, you assume that he’s into photography, is on the athletic side from the various hobbies he partakes in, and he must be at least half-aware of his beauty because there’s the occasional pic that shows off his lean, toned arms, which, if you can be frank, is more flattering than the shirtless ones you constantly see. Oh, and he attends the same university as you.

The cherry on top? His bio is simple and upfront:

“Not up for anything serious, but always down for a good time ;)”

You swipe right without hesitation.

“It’s a Match!” flashes instantly at you. Your mouth swings open in disbelief.

Usually, you’d wait for your matches to message you and play hard-to-get, but not tonight. Tonight, you’re initiating and leading all the conversations, completely driven by your thirst.

Messaging Jaemin is a breeze. He types with more than half a brain, and he flirts, but it isn’t overwhelming or repulsive. Segueing the current topic, you drag your bottom lip upward as you send the following message:

so, hypothetically... if one were to have good time with you would tonight work?

Not even twenty seconds later and he replies with:

-wow, dont you go straight to the point -im impressed -but yeah -tonight works ;)

He’s quick to send his address.

-let me know when ur here and ill come get you out front!

Smacking your lips together, you squeal to yourself in the comfort of your home, excited to meet with him, but then a thought hangs over you—this feels a little too good to be true. Horrible scenarios run through your head, so your fingers dash across your phone’s keyboard:

tbh i haven’t really done this b4 so im kinda new to this is it ok if we video call or smth? gotta make sure you’re real and not a serial killer i’m sure you understand 😛

-for sure for sure -totally get it -ive had my fair share of fake girls and serial killers so i feel u 😛

Grateful for his consideration, you rush to rearrange your hair after you send him a Zoom link, hoping you look decent enough to not have him back off from his initial offer. He appears in the video call on his phone with the front-facing camera on a few seconds after you connect.

“Hi,” you chirp.

A corner of his mouth lifts. “Hey.”

Okay, he’s definitely cuter in real-time than in his pictures.

“You know, I’m not gonna lie, but I lowkey expected to see a dick or something,” you joke in an attempt to dispel your nervousness.

“Same,” he chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.

Oh God, he’s not just cute—he’s devastatingly gorgeous.

“So, this is my place...”

Jaemin moves around with his apartment in the background, revealing his living room first. Envy prods you as you note the brick walls, high ceiling windows, and well-appointed furnishings.

Recalling his address, you ask, “How’d you get a place in the heart of the city?”

“Lucked out,” he shrugs. His phone shakes a bit as he’s still moving. “My friend slash roommate—who is at his girlfriend’s place tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves—his parents own the condo and they gave me a friend discount on the rent.”

He finally stands in one place and turns the light on to reveal a room. “And this is my bedroom.”

Nothing out of the ordinary. A desk table with a gaming set-up, in tow with a gamer chair, and a decently-sized bed beside a nightstand.

“Oh, and here’s my closet.” Jaemin’s on the move again as he opens his closet doors. “Just to make sure you don’t think I hide the skins of my past one-nighters in here.”

A bubbly laugh rises from you. “Okay, I didn’t think of that before, but now you’ve planted the seed in my head. Maybe you hide them in the other rooms.”

“Nah, my roommate would kill me if I did.”

Both of you laugh in unison, and you bob your head with puffed cheeks.

“Okay, it all seems very promising. I’m going to get ready and I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, Jaemin.”

“Sounds good,” Jaemin nods, then winks. Although you’re sitting down, he’s still able to get you weak in the knees. “See you soon.”

You end the call and rush to bundle up for the snow starting to come down outside. A twenty-minute train ride later, you’re at the front door of a rustic, industrial apartment complex. After informing Jaemin you’re outside, you glance up at the snowflakes falling from the dark pink-grey sky, anticipating for what comes next.

Sex with a hot guy, what can go wrong?

So, you must’ve jinxed it because the sex is...

Unsatisfying. Finished faster than you’d like it to be. Sadly, overall disappointing. If you had to rate it, three out of five stars, at best.

But hey, he came, and you sort of did, and it wasn’t the worst sex you’ve ever had. It half-quenched your dry spell.

And enough happened that it tired you out, leaving you passed out in the handsome stranger’s bed until morning.

In the morning, your eyes slowly flicker, unused to the foreign, sweet scent engulfing you in your bed. Correction: Jaemin’s bed.

Your eyes flicker faster as you glance through the almost wall-sized window. The snow hasn’t let up from last night. On the contrary, it seems like it’s snowing non-stop. You groan at the thought of going home in this weather.

The bed is without Jaemin’s presence as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. 10:36AM and a few notifications greet you. You rub your eyes and start combing through them, rising upward to sit up on the bed.

“Morning. You’re finally up.”

Peering up from your device, Jaemin’s standing by the door with folded arms. His plain sweater and sweatpants match the colour of his hair. The dazzling smile he gives is so contagious, you’re not even conscious of catching one too.

“Out you go.”

You blink.

Once, twice, and then you tilt your head as you stare blankly at him, uncertain if you heard him correctly.

After a few moments, because you’re not moving an inch, his smile dissipates and he cocks an eyebrow in expectancy. A serious expression rolls over his face.

Suddenly, Jaemin strolls to the side of the bed and hitches his thumb towards the door.

You definitely heard him right.

And he’s dead-serious.

You replay the video call from last night, dissecting how you thought he was nice and funny and—

Realization dawns on you.

Why would you expect anything more from a two-faced fuck boy?

Still awestruck by the situation, you’re still solid as a statue, so Jaemin takes matters into his own hands and grasps you by your elbow, casually dragging you from his bed like he’s taking out the trash.

“What the fuck?!” you screech.

“C’mon, let’s go. Out out.”

“My clothes, though!” you protest in the middle of the hallway. He sighs in frustration, scurries to the bedroom, and returns with a small pile in his arms, then continues to drag you to the front door.

“Are you always this pleasant with your guests the morning after?” you rage, putting on the rest of your clothes by the door. “You don’t even have the decency to offer me tea or coffee?”

“This was a one-night stand, not a bed and breakfast, sunshine,” he says as he watches you put your shoes on. He’s folding his arms again and leaning against the wall, his attitude dripping with smug. If he wasn’t a stranger, you’d punch it off his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to this, huh?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you’re a borderline virgin who needs to toodle-loo, get going and gone because you’re overstaying your welcome as we speak.”

Finishing putting on your coat, you’re fuming as your jaw hangs at the personal jab over your skills in bed. Jaemin swings the door open and shoves you through it.

“But I’ll admit, it was still nice having sex with you!” he chimes with a sickening grin and a hand on the door.

“Aw, thanks asshole, wish I could say the same,” you sarcastically reply, resting a palm upon your chest.

He scoffs. “From what I heard last night, I think I can confidently say that you had a great time.”

Flashbacks replay in your mind of your screaming fest from underneath him. Little did Jaemin actually know—

“You know, for someone who I assume has many one-night stands,” you spit with squinted eyes. “I’m surprised you can’t tell when girls fake it.”

You must’ve hit a sore spot because he grinds his teeth and you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

Oh yeah, you’re definitely the winner in this fight.

“Okay, you know what, Merry Christmas and fuck you. Have a great life!”

“Fuck you, dickface. Wishing you a miserable Christmas!”

With a bitter smile, you flip him off as he slams the door in your face.

Carrying a basket filled with dirty clothes, Jaemin’s on the way down to the laundry room in the basement of his apartment with his shoulder scrunched up, squeezing his phone to his ear.

“Bro, she had the audacity to say that I didn’t make her come when she was screaming my God damn ear off—”

As he steps down the short flight of stairs and passes by the foyer area by the main entrance to the building, he notices you’re still here.

“Shit, uh, Jeno,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”

He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and calls out to you as he strides closer. “Are you resorting to stalking me by my front door now?”

With crossed arms, you peer over your shoulder, eyes full of bitterness.

“Like I wanna be anywhere near you right now,” you grumble. You jerk your head towards the thick, wooden door. “It’s jammed from the snow.”

The laundry carrier shakes his head and places the basket onto the floor. “A little snow never hurt anyone. You’re probably just too weak.”

Stepping aside and holding out an arm, you signal for him to give it a try.

Jaemin twists the handle and, lo and behold, it doesn’t open. His forehead crinkles as he tries again and again, using more force each time.

Glancing through one of the partially frosted windows adjacent to the sides of the door, he notices the snow has piled enormously high, almost to the height of his chest.

“Well, shit.”

Reluctantly, Jaemin brings you back to his apartment. You’re technically his guest and if he left you in the foyer to freeze, trouble would surely come his way, whether it be in the form of his landlords (also known as his roommate’s parents) or the police.

Without a word, he settles a spoon in a bowl, a carton of milk, and a box of cereal onto the small kitchen table.

At first, you stare at it venomously in rejection, thinking you can easily last a day without any hand-outs from this son of a bitch, but your stomach roars ferociously three seconds later.

As you chew across from him, you enjoy the company of your phone over him, while he does the same but with a cup of coffee in hand.

After finishing your food, you adamantly place your phone down and lean back into the chair, boring holes into his head.

“Why are you such an asshole?” you seethe observantly.

“Why are you such a bitch?” he retorts, not pulling his gaze away from his phone.

“Because you started it,” you say slowly, stating the obvious.

“No, you.”

You sigh defeatedly at his childish behaviour. The weather apps predict the snow will (hopefully) die down by tomorrow morning, thus you’re officially stuck with him for the next twenty-four hours or so. Your hands rake through your hair.

“Whether we like it or not, the snow isn’t going away until tomorrow. Merry Christmas Eve to us, I guess.”

He’s still glued to his phone. You exhale another sigh.

“Since we’re not getting out of this until then, can we just...” You soften your voice. “Start over?”

His eyes are still on the screen, but from the way his shoulders tense and how he stops scrolling, you know he’s considering your proposition.

“At least call a stalemate over this.” You drift your hand in the air, gesturing between you and him.

Blowing out air and shaking his head, he rests his phone onto the table.

“Fine.”

He crosses his arms, imitating you, and the two of you sit there, staring at each other in a long silence.

One minute, to be exact.

You’re the one to break the silence game by running your hands over your face, letting out a hybrid of a groan and laugh.

“God, the fact that we had sex makes this kinda awkward, huh?”

Jaemin’s exterior melts slightly, letting out a snicker. He shrugs, “Then let’s just pretend that we didn’t have sex.”

“We can’t just pretend that we didn’t have sex,” you say, holding two upturned palms near your face.

“We did it, it’s done. I’ve seen your penis, you kicked me out, and you labelled me a prude—” You dart a finger towards him. “—which I am far from, by the way. All of those are pretty huge things.”

One of the corners of his mouth raises high. “Are you saying my penis is huge?”

“No, the implication of said penis is huge. Wipe that smirk off your face.”

He stretches an arm, holding an imaginary microphone to your face. “Do you deny that my penis is huge?”

Rolling your eyes, you swat his fist away. “What am I, on trial here?”

“Do you plead the fifth then?”

Annoyed, you roll your eyes again. Why do you get the feeling that you’re probably going to be doing this a lot more today? Another feeling tells you that if you don’t answer his question, he’ll probably pester you until you do.

You tilt your head side to side. “It’s... decently sized.”

“Bigger or smaller than average?”

“Perfect...” His eyes light up. “...ly average.” And a frown rolls over.

He squints his eyes accusingly at your sneer. “Are you lying like you did before about faking it?”

You scoff. “I wasn’t lying about faking it, and I’m not lying now about your average sized dick.”

Jaemin releases a disgruntled grumble and lifts his cup to his face. You notice he likes to take his coffee black and bitter, presumably like his heart.

“So, Miss I’m-Not-A-Prude-and-I’ve-Definitely-Had-Sex-Before.” His eyebrows perk up on the word definitely. “What’s your story? Why the last minute one-night stand?”

Shrugging your shoulders to your ears, you reply, “Haven’t had sex in a while.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?” he asks mid-sip.

“Half a year ago,” you respond nonchalantly, perching your chin into your palms.

Jaemin immediately chokes, almost spraying the coffee through his nose.

��Half a year?!” he gasps. It takes him a few hits to his chest to dispel the coughing. “Six months?!”

“Wow, you can count!” you exclaim in a condescending tone. You change the position of your hands so that your chin is now atop of the back of your curled fingers and tilt your head. “Can you also spell?”

“As a premed student, I can assure you that I am capable of doing both,” he says with a slight strain due to the coughing fit. The humble brag brings on another eye roll. Of course he’s a premed student with the attitude he wears.

“It’s just—” He clears his throat and swallows the last bit of coffee stuck in his windpipe. “—The last time I had a dry spell was for like, a month, tops.”

So the fuckboy gets laid way more on the daily than you expect. You’re torn between being envious over how much action he gets in comparison to you, or remorseful, since you’re now just one of the many notches on his bedpost.

No matter, sarcasm is always the best defence mechanism.

“Good for you, Jaemin. I’m sure you’re very proud of that.”

There’s an awkward beat. His head hangs for a moment while his thumbs stroke the sides of his cup. A strange pinch of guilt occurs. Did you overstep an unspoken line? But then he drags himself back to reality in a heartbeat.

Jaemin brings the cup to his mouth again, mumbling, “At least the sex on your part makes more sense now; you’re rusty as fuck.”

Completely aware of what he said, you trash your guilt entirely and narrow your eyes. “What did you just say?”

Following a long sip, he hums, “Mmm, nothing.” Soon after, he stands up with his cup.

“I’m gonna go game now. Feel free to watch Netflix on the TV and stay in the living room.”

As if you had anywhere else to go...

He begins to walk towards his room as you mutter under your breath, “I’m not a dog.”

“Says the bitch,” he pipes up, taking you by surprise.

“Thought we had a stalemate?!” you shout, leaning your head forward as you watch him entering his room.

“Doesn’t mean we’re on peaceful terms!” he sing-shouts.

The flinging of the closed door echoes throughout the apartment.

Regret surges through you. You just had to choose a fuckboy fluent in assholery and end up incidentally being isolated with him during a snow storm on Christmas Eve.

You wonder if you can handle being around him for the next twenty-four hours without killing him first.

During the afternoon, you’re on the living room couch, playing a show as mostly background noise while you’re on your phone. At one point, your phone unsurprisingly begins to die and you tread over to Jaemin’s door to ask for a charger and if you can also take a shower. He’s still annoyed by your existence, but at least he hands you a charger and lets you know where the extra towels are.

Stepping into the living room with the towel in your hand as you dry your hair off, you peer out the large living room window and see nothing but white engulfing the streets and buildings as far as the eye can see.

You pray the snow will eventually stop as soon as possible so you can head back home.

By the middle of the afternoon, Jaemin emerges from his bedroom and shocks you by plopping down on the opposite end of the living room couch from where you’re sitting.

“Bored?” you ask, eyes fixated on the TV screen.

“Nope,” he replies, popping the p as he says it. His slings his arm around the top of the couch.

“Gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something.” Turning away from the screen, he faces you and motions circles with his hand. “You’ve got a little crazy in you, I can feel it.”

You quickly glance over at him, but try to refocus on the TV. “Need I remind you that you’re the crazy one, dragging me out of the apartment right as I woke up.”

That compels him to turn his whole body towards you. “Well, you’re the one who wanted a last-minute one-night stand.”

You match his stance. “As if I’m the first girl in your bed to stay in the morning?”

“Actually, yeah.” He aggressively tilts his head to one side. “Most girls leave before I even get up. The other percentage don’t fight me when I ask for them to go, so it looks like you’re the odd one out.”

You press your lips together, refusing to admit that maybe he has a point, under the assumption that he’s telling the truth.

Jaemin twists his body back to the screen and adds, “I make it very clear on my profile that I don’t do morning afters, sweetheart.”

And you agree that his profile is clear about his intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can condone his shitty behaviour.

“Well, sorry that I expected just an ounce of respect instead of getting kicked to the curb after you stuck your dick in me,” you grumble, shifting back to the show and crossing your arms.

“Morning afters lead to attachments, and attachments lead to feelings, and feelings lead to relationships,” he says the string of words clinically, as if it’s a mantra that he lives by.

Your eyebrows knit together as you whip your head towards him once more, studying him.

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

Deliberately averting your gaze, Jaemin grates his tongue between his teeth, a slight tsk audibly heard, and his chin juts out. There’s definitely a story behind his ways. He huffs and changes the subject.

“Seriously?” He holds a hand out. “You’re watching this trashy show?”

Squinting your eyes at him, you could probably interrogate him further, but you decide otherwise.

“It may be trashy,” you concur, looking at the TV. “But it’s my trashy comfort show.”

Following an over-the-top acted out scene between the show’s main love interests, Jaemin shoots up from the couch.

“Yeah, no, I can’t handle this. Can we either put on something else or game or something?”

“Why don’t you go back to your room to game, Mr. I’m-Not-Bored?”

“Like I said, I gotta keep an eye on you,” he says while bending over in front of the TV, already setting up the Playstation. He tosses you a controller as he strides to his side of the couch again.

He mumbles to himself, “Need to make sure you don’t go crazy from the lack of human interaction.”

Either Jaemin is selfish and only looking out for himself, or he wants to make sure you’re not feeling lonely in a stranger’s home.

Likely the first reason, you deduce—because why would a guy like Jaemin care about a mere one-night stand?

Admittedly, you’re not the best at games, especially at fighting ones. You can comprehend the move lists, but you like to live by button smashing the controller and repeating moves over and over.

So it’s hilarious when you beat Jaemin every round with your surprisingly fruitful technique.

“Okay, this is bullshit,” Jaemin complains, sticking his tongue out in irritation. His ass is currently being handed to him on a plate again since you’re almost done killing his character off. “You must be lying to me; you have to be a pro player or some shit.”

Jaemin’s health bar is dangerously low as your character jabs his with a sword. He winces out loud and you snicker.

“Why do you think I always lie about everything?! Dude, you have serious trust issues,” you joke before you steal the opportunity to slice his character. One more hit and he’s done for.

“I do not! I just—nooo!”

You rise to your feet and pump your arms in the air, turning in circles in joy over yet another win.

Sulking, Jaemin eyes your little dance from his end on the couch, but as he watches you more, a feeling balloons in his chest. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Finally coming down from your post-win high, you spot an emerging grin from the corner of your eye, making you pause.

“What?” you eye him suspiciously.

Your suspicion pops the sensation in his chest and, like a fish out of water, his eyes widen and his grin melts away.

“Nothing, uhm.” He ruffles his eyebrows and palms the back of his neck, quickly facing the TV. “Let’s go one more round and then we can switch to another game—”

Suddenly, the TV and surrounding lights switch off. Both of you waver your eyes, anticipating for them to come back on, but they unfortunately don’t.

Jaemin rushes over to the window. When he swivels his head towards you, his face darkens.

“Looks like it’s at least the whole block. The streetlights are out too.”

Without another word, he dashes to the linen closet and brings back several blankets. He calmly explains that there won’t be heat since it’s connected to the electricity, so it’d be best to keep warm with the extra layers.

Not wanting to scare you, he doesn’t add the fact that due to the huge windows in the apartment, more unnecessary cold air will come in, but you’re already cognizant of it from your own logic and since the remaining heat dissolves rapidly.

You groan and retreat into the massive blanket over your shoulders, turtling your head.

You can’t believe you’re going to fucking die in this asshole’s apartment on Christmas Eve.

On the ends of the couch in your makeshift blanket jackets, both of you attend to your phones for a while.

From what people and the news outlets are saying, it’s not just the block, but the whole city grid is out. You frantically text your friends, giving updates on how you are and half-jokingly telling them that you’re going to die with your dreadful one-night stand. Some time passes and Jaemin tosses his phone off to one side.

“Well, since there’s nothing else to do and we should probably conserve our phone batteries—” You glance up at him from your phone and pout. Slowly nodding in agreement, you toss it aside too. “—why don’t we play a game of ‘I’ll-Give-You-Pointers-on-How-to-be-Better-in-Bed’?”

A smile burgeons on his irritatingly handsome face and your eyes roll. At this point, you wonder if the reaction is conditioned into you. “It’ll be my early Christmas gift to you.”

“Wow, so thoughtful, how could I ever thank you?” You drag the blanket closer to your chest in false gratitude.

You think for a serious moment if you really want to go through with this. Hearing Jaemin run his mouth on you unwarranted is already painful, but to give him the go-ahead to do so? Especially criticizing your skills in bed?

You blow out a sigh, noting the slightly visible cloud. You’re grateful Jaemin has thick, downy blankets.

Well, if you’re going to die, may as well know what went wrong, right?

“Fine, but if we’re playing this game, we have to say everything honestly and take the criticism we get.” You point a stern finger. “No rebuttals, just acceptance.”

“Wait.” Jaemin crinkles his face in genuine confusion as his hand peeks out from his blanket.

“You have things to criticize about me in bed?”

Your lips tremble before you burst into laughter. Displeasure is on Jaemin’s tight-lipped face as you laugh for a while, almost keeling over in your blanket ball onto the hardwood floor. “How conceited are you, oh, my fucking God?”

He slices his hand through the air. “I’ve never had any complaints—”

“Because you’re too busy focusing on your own orgasm, you selfish dickwad,” you say as your laughter dies down.

He sits in his snit for a few more moments until he gets over it.

“Fine, fine,” he huffs. Jaemin knows he’s not going to enjoy this, but he’s the one who suggested it. He can’t back out now. “Let’s just get this over with, you go first.”

With your blanket held by your chest, you hop off your end of the couch and shuffle over in front of him where he’s seated. Beaming, you begin.

“Let’s start with foreplay.” Jaemin’s eyes light up with confidence, thinking he’s at least decent with that. You crush his expression as your lips purse and you shake your head.

“Non-existent.”

“What do you mean?! I kissed you as you took off your clothes.”

You stick your free hand out from your blanket, extending your index finger.

“One: you only kissed my lips. You know, there are other parts of me to kiss, like, I don’t know, my neck, my arms, my shoulders.”

You extend another finger. “And, two: it’s weird to not help someone take off their clothes. Like you’re in a super rush to get somewhere or something—”

“We’re fucking!” he cuts in sharply. “This is a one-night stand, not a relationship.”

Closing your eyes and dropping your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh in exaggeration.

“Thought we agreed no rebuttals...” you softly sing-say.

Jaemin’s head sinks a little into his blanket. “Sorry.”

Removing your hand, you shrug. “Maybe there’s some rule that I don’t know about one-night stands, so this could be on me.”

You start to aimlessly tread back and forth in front of him, dragging the blanket along too. “But fuck, foreplay is foreplay for a reason. You work your way up to the heat of the moment and it makes sex much better, regardless if you’re in a relationship with the person or not.”

“Next point.” You stop walking and direct your focus on him. Pointing your finger and looking him dead in the eye, you ask, “Do you know what a vagina is?”

He snorts with a simper. “Uhhh, is this a rhetorical question?”

“No, I’m legit asking,” you say with a raised eyebrow and snarky smile. “Because when you went down on me, all you flicked your tongue at was the outside of it, also called the labia if you didn’t know.”

“I’m premed, of course I—”

“Which is great! But you didn’t go any deeper nor did you go near my clit.”

You thrust your finger again. “Do you also know what that is?”

“Yes...” he groans with the flickering eyelids.

You swipe your arm through the air. “Maybe make use of it, and not only when you go down on girls. Even during sex, touching it is great.”

“And lastly,” you continue. “I’ll be honest here, you have a decent dick.”

Jaemin waggles his finger. “So you were lying before—”

“I wasn’t lying,” you retort firmly. “But anyways, you’ve got the stuff, but why don’t you put it to better use?”

With the following words, you attempt to gesture with your body and execute moves as graphic visuals. Jaemin giggles at the sight.

“Vary the speeds and the angle, don’t just slam it in me and go crazy fast from the get-go. Build up to the climax. Jesus, I couldn’t even get close to coming because you’re like a jackhammer from start to finish.”

When you finally finish, Jaemin’s giggles morph into hollow laughs. Frustration is blatant on your face, pondering if he even absorbed a single word you said.

After he calms down, he asks, “Are you done?”

You mumble, “Yeah, I think so.”

The two of you switch places. He shuffles onto his feet with his blanket while you sit back on the couch.

Jaemin pulls the blanket across the floor as he ambles. “Okay, your head game is decent—”

“Excuse you, my head game is strong.”

“Uh-uh, rebuttal,” he points out.

You sigh. Pinching your fingers together, you drag the invisible zipper across your mouth, then wave your hand, allowing him to resume.

“Your head game is decent. You definitely can deepthroat, but—” He mirrors you from before and extends his index finger.

“One: this happened only a few times, but your teeth scraped against my dick, which is why I assumed you were a borderline virgin.”

You fume silently at the accusation, attempting to not speak up with a heap of rebuttals. But he wasn’t wrong—if you teethed on his dick, that’s a classic virgin move.

“But that’s okay, because we already established that you’re just rusty.” Jaemin flashes you a fake comforting smile as he continues to pace. You flash him one back.

“And two—” He holds another finger out. “Don’t be scared to use your hands and stroke me. Give my dick some love. If it’s too wet, just wipe your hands on the bed or something.”

“Okay, duly noted,” you hum. “Next.”

“Don’t be scared to touch me.”

“I touched you so much during—”

He shoots you a glare. You roll your mouth inward, your lips disappearing instantly.

“Your hands were mostly on the sheets, which is hot, but guys like to be felt up too.”

The attractive individual peers up for a second, thinking to himself. “Even hotter when a girl feels herself up during the fucking, but that’s beside the point. Baby steps, just remember to touch the other person.”

Jaemin does a full-stop and faces you.

“And just... don’t fake it.” Distress is evident in his pout. You hate to admit it, but it’s a little cute. He raises an arm and jerks it in the air. “Why do girls fake it?”

“Because guys with egos like you can’t handle criticism,” you reply bluntly.

“What are we doing, having this conversation, hm?”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it didn’t snow in and keep us here together.” You peel a hand away and gesture to the window. “If I walked out of here this morning, you would’ve just fucked the next girl the same.”

He defends himself, “Faking it just feeds our egos.”

“Yeah, well, if I told you afterwards that I didn’t come, what would you do?”

“Try to make you come in other ways?”

Shaking your head, you scoff. “Guys like you aren’t that considerate.”

“You’re right.” He assents, holding his pointer finger against his chest. “Because guys like me aim to please.”

A brilliant thought leaps in his mind and Jaemin gasps. You can only assume bad things from the wicked smile he sends your way.

“Why don’t we try it again?”

Perplexed, you squint at him.

“Try what again...?”

“Sex,” he says enthusiastically.

You blankly stare at him.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” you deadpan.

“I mean, there’s nothing else to do and it’ll keep us warm.”

You continue to stare at him until you groan.

“Oh, my God...” Your blanket droops a bit off your shoulders as you drag your palms across your face. “I cannot believe I’m stuck in this snowstorm with you out of all people...”

Sitting next to you, Jaemin persistently reasons with you. “Think of it also as another learning experience for the future partners we’ll have.”

“Yeah, if we don’t die first!” you shriek.

“We’re not going to die,” Jaemin replies in a mocking tone and a dart of his tongue.

Outside the window, the snow seems to have slowed down, but not by much.

God, Jaemin better be fucking right because you want to live to see another day.

“Fine,” you mutter and match his gaze. “But we have to be vocal throughout the whole thing. Say whatever’s on our mind.”

“Fine,” he agrees to your terms. He produces the same wicked smile again. “But can we film it then? So we can study it after?”

You fire him a death glare that melts his face off, even in the frigid atmosphere.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says, waving his hand.

They say that jokes are half-meant true, but you think Jaemin fully meant it. Still in your blanket jackets, Jaemin snags your free hand and leads you to his room.

“You gotta give me credit for trying, though.”

“No.” You shake your head with an unwilling smile creeping on the edge of your lips. On second thought, maybe the joke was a little funny, but you still stand by your opinion that he’s the most annoying person in the world. “I don’t think I will.”

“Thank God Chenle has so many scented candles...”

On the edge of Jaemin’s bed, huddled by the blanket, you watch him light up several large jars, placing them on his nightstand and desk in hopes to brighten the room. It’s already late afternoon, but one could mistaken it for nighttime with the muddy sky due to the snow.

“Is Chenle your roommate?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin answers with a slight shiver, igniting the last candle near the bedside. He removed his blanket when he went to nab the matches and candles. “His girlfriend gets free ones from work, so she always gives him a shit ton, even though he never uses them.”

With a glowing hue against his face, he blows out the match. He makes his way to you, a cocky grin plastered on him, as he says, “Guess we’re making use of them now, though.”

Before you can even respond, Jaemin gets right down to business—sitting beside you on the mattress, he palms your face and drags you in for a kiss. You softly yelp, but immediately reciprocate.

The cover falls off your body as you reach to touch him, fingers drifting over his solid arms.

You don’t want to stroke his large ego, and maybe it’s because you haven’t had anyone else on you in a while, but Jaemin’s kisses are something else.

The cushiony pair of lips always executes enough pressure against your mouth, increasing and decreasing on command in perfect tandem and timing. His hands hover over your waist and the nape of your neck, fingers sinking into your hot skin.

His mouth trails downward the side of your neck. You crane your head back, indulging in his caresses as soft moans trickle out.

He gently signals for you to recline back and lay onto the mattress, moving the sea of blankets aside. Inclined on his elbow, almost atop of you, his cool fingers glide under your top layers, his thumb stroking against your stomach.

Pulling away from your body, he tugs on the ends of your clothes. You rise from the bed to better the angle for him to discard of them.

The hairs on your skin are standing on end from the frigid air, but you’re too focused on Jaemin’s mouth migrating over your upper arm and your bra-covered chest to care. Without notice, he stuffs a cup of the bra to one side and takes your bosom into his mouth.

Air’s seized from your lungs and your core contracts from the pleasure. Your fingers tug on Jaemin’s luscious locks and his free hand squeezes your unoccupied breast.

After a few twirls of his tongue and a gentle drawing of his teeth on the pointed tip, he mumbles hotly into your chest while he thumbs your other nipple, “Foreplay still non-existent?”

“It’s better, I guess,” you sigh with fluttering eyes. His chuckling reverberates against your cleavage, a sign of amusement from your obstinacy. A gasp pierces the room as Jaemin repeats his actions onto the other breast.

He aids you in taking off the rest of your clothes and, obviously aware of your goosebumps and shuddering, tells you to get underneath the blankets while he strips himself.

Under the toasty ocean of layers, despite how both of you are bare-boned and how easy it is to jump into the main act, Jaemin purposefully continues to prolong the foreplay. Side by side, your lips meld endlessly; your legs and hands are intertwined in an amorous pretzel.

Jaemin ensures he doesn’t leave any part of you untouched—the pads of fingers virtually graze over every inch of your body. Each grip and drag of his digits sends you in a frenzy. Your chest is pressed into him and your eyes are blinded with desire.

In the back of your mind, you think about how you were right about foreplay working up to the heat of the moment—literally, because you’re dripping, he’s hard, and you two have embraced so much that you don’t need the blankets anymore.

On the other hand, you wonder if Jaemin was right about skipping foreplay, because with every whisper of each other’s name, the intimacy rises immensely. You don’t know him, and neither him with you, but you’re both freely drowning in one another in a plane beyond the lust.

Although the room’s beginning to smell of a mix of all the scented candles, Jaemin hones in and drinks in your sweet aroma and your entirety behind his hazy eyes and already tousled hair. All of a sudden, one drag of his fingers over a particular sensitive spot on your body makes you giggle.

“I’m ticklish over there.”

“You mean right—” He drums his fingers over the area again. “—here?”

With a toothy grin, he generates more suffering from you and you begin to lively howl. Soon enough, you beg him to stop.

“You’re such an asshat, c’mon, let me live!”

When he ceases, his head hangs over yours and your gazes connect.

The same feeling blooms in his chest from before in the living room.

He gulps as his eyes waver over your face, unknowingly tracing your beautiful features and etching them into his memory.

Your starry eyes. Your glowing aura. Your everything.

You barely register the change in his expression because he quickly tramples on his moment of weakness by kissing you passionately.

Jaemin whips the blankets aside as he lowers himself between your legs. Your eyes are fixated on him, matching his stare, until he starts to devour you by swiping against your lustrous folds. Your back bows, and, following a few more licks, Jaemin makes a point of his knowledge of the vagina by spreading your lips and ravishing your pussy, tongue penetrating deeply.

Rippled moans release in harmony with your undulating chest. You swear you’re getting more wet, too wet, likely making it overwhelming for Jaemin, but he’s eagerly lapping every drop up.

“How’s that?” he inquires with a grin, hovering over your trembling nether lips. His mouth is evidently glossy, even under the dim lighting.

“Good,” you pant in the most nonchalant tone you can muster up. “Very good-ahhh—”

Jaemin kindly interrupts you by tonguing your clit as he fingers your sex deeply, shattering your fake indifference.

“Move your tongue up more,” you direct, creasing your eyebrows in despair. He follows your direction, and droning moans ensue.

Jaemin’s immersed in your pleasure, but also adding to his own. The more he laps up your wetness, the more he grinds his length against the bed, aching to be inside of you.

Your desire pulses faster, contracting tighter against his fingers, body winding tensely by the second.

“Fuck, Jaemin,” you whine, leaning your head to one side with a parted mouth. “I’m close.”

He draws back and temporarily replaces his tongue with his thumb.

“Good,” he pants, cocking his head to one side. His eyes are filled with determination. “Because I’m not stopping until you come at least two more times tonight.”

You exhale a light laugh. “That’s ambiti-ohgodohgod—”

His tongue works wonders on your clit once more, so much that he has to brace your bucking hips.

Okay, maybe Jaemin did learn a thing or two and actually listened to what you said during your critique.

But now it’s time to demonstrate to him what you’ve learned.

You don’t need much of a break to catch your breath, nor do you want to immediately freeze due to inactivity, so you pull Jaemin in for an intense kiss, tongue dipping into the remnants of your own nectar, then beckon for him to take your former place on the bed.

Perched on the bottom of your feet, you’re on one side of Jaemin, lackadaisically fisting his prominence. After a few strokes, you gradually swallow his inches, keeping in mind to relax your jaw and to not rush in order to avoid any potential teething. You do this to prove yourself worthy of giving head, but also in spite, because you absolutely do not need Jaemin to brand you a virgin again.

You read his quiet groans and his long fingers running lazily through your hair as a positive sign and advance further.

Carefully, you rest your tongue beneath the underside of his cock and bob your head, licking him until he’s sopping with your saliva. His grip in your hair grows in strength as his length reaches the end of your throat, his groans becoming more and more drawn-out.

A needy whimper leaves him as you suddenly withdraw. Dribbles of your spit follow, and you wipe it off with the back of your hand.

“How am I doing?” you glow in a pant, lazily stroking the doused shaft.

He simply nods with half-lidded eyes, barely able to look at you. “Yeah.”

You snicker at him in his breathless position, a prickle of pride running through your spine over the fact that you blew his mind as much as you blew his dick.

“Use your words, Jaemin.”

Teasingly, your fingers curl around his blunt head, soothing the sensitive tip and sending jolts throughout him.

“Fuck—” he pulls his bottom lip upward. “Awesome. You’re doing awesome.”

“Anything to critique?”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head restlessly. You revel a bit more in having the upper hand on him a little while longer. You grip him tighter and hasten your speed, leaving him gasping for air.

“Am I still rusty?”

“Nope, nope,” he croaks, voice rising to a whine. “Definitely not rusty.”

“You sure?” His cockiness has transferred over to you.

“Yes, yes—fuck, slow down, please,” Jaemin begs.

Granting his wish, you abate your rhythm and free his inches from your touch.

You wipe your hands on the sides of the bed while Jaemin rummages through the drawer of his nightstand and hastily rolls over the rubber over himself before he prepares to enter the body beneath his.

Recalling your advice, Jaemin mindfully starts off slow. You sigh blissfully in sync to his thrusts. He adjust himself, attempting another angle, and you draw in air between your teeth.

“There, there—“

Jaemin’s quick-witted and keeps at it, plunging a bit more vigorously. Out of habit, your hands grasp onto the bedsheets, but you wittingly attach them to his frame. Hands grazing his neck, his firm pecs, and his taut muscles.

“Touch-touch my stomach,” he orders in a hush.

You hands follow through and feel up the flexed valley of his abs. Feeling up evolves into desperate gripping and even the slight dragging of your nails.

“Your abs are so fucking hot,” you state thoughtlessly, eyes eating up the view alongside his cock disappearing in and out of you. “Jesus, fuck.”

“Yeah?” he rasps with that devilish smirk of his. God, you want to smack it off him, but not right now—not when you’re reaching euphoria. “You’re not just saying that?”

Oh, you’ve definitely stroked his ego now, but there’s no turning back. Truth spills from you on a whim.

“You’re a fucking masterpiece,” you gasp acutely.

You’re starting to wither away, yet, as if they have a life of their own, your hands drift away from him and find a new home atop your breasts.

“You make me feel so good, Jaemin...”

Jaemin’s eyes go wide. His mouth hangs at the lewdness of you touching yourself.

“Fuck, holy shit.”

His gaze doesn’t leave your ecstatic face or humming body for a second as you knead your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers. Your back arches further when Jaemin deepens his sweet, fulfilling thrusts. He’s holding himself back, not wanting to end this beautiful deed just yet.

The stimulation bursts over your body, both from your own doing and Jaemin’s.

You plead, “Faster, please, faster.”

And he complies, but he also rubs your bundle of nerves, causing a tight knot in you to build up and your shallow moans transform into heavy screams. You clasp onto his back and claw at the protruding shoulder blades.

“I’m-I’m—”

You clench, both with your core and your nails digging into him, but Jaemin’s unrelenting, capturing your second peak for the evening.

Instead of coming after you, he shockingly veers lower and closer to you and curbs his pace.

“Was that real?”

You respond with an exhausted nod. Oddly, the smile he shows this time isn’t arrogant, but warm and teetering the line of tenderness. His lips fuse with yours before they stray towards your neck. The passion stews as he sucks your tits, all the while lunging laxly into you.

With an obscene pop!, Jaemin removes himself from your nubs.

“Ready for the last round?”

His fast thrusts, hitting you precisely in the best spot, cloud your already weakened logic, deterring you from making any response.

Perspiration is blatant on both individuals. For him, his forehead glistens gorgeously with his damp hair. For you, the back of your bent knees are gluing together. Your bodies are about to pass out, but you both persevere until the end.

As you convulse and perish together in beautiful agony, coincidentally enough, the bulbs in the room and in the streets leap to radiance.

Together, you collapse onto the bed side by side, panting heavily and laughing.

“Told you we weren’t going to die.”

You turn your head to see Jaemin looking at you with a cheeky grin. In retaliation, you stick your tongue out.

By nighttime, it’s finally stopped snowing outside. However, the streets won’t be cleared until morning, at the very least.

But... you’re surprisingly okay with that.

In a turn of events, the sex inexplicably makes the two of you warm up to each other. There still is targeted banter and tension between you, lingering from before, but it’s less hostile and more playful.

During a fancy Christmas Eve dinner of microwavable pizzas, you poke fun at each other’s majors and discuss your respective hobbies in depth, especially his love for photography. Jaemin even asks if he can take a picture of you, claiming that the kitchen lighting actually looks nice on someone for once.

“Is that how you collect the memory of your one-night stands? Instead of hanging their skins in your closet, you sweet-talk your way and keep all the photos of them?” you joke, referring to the video call from yesterday night. It feels like an eternity ago, but snowstorms tend to do that.

He chuckles behind the camera as he snaps a photo of you scrunching your face cutely.

“Yeah, but you’re the first one who has clothes on,” he says, glancing down at the photo on the camera roll.

“Ugh, gross,” you cringe and take a sip of tea.

Jaemin doesn’t add anything further. He leaves out the fact that he never keeps any traces of his one-night stands, that you’re the first girl he’s taken a picture of in a while.

After a few hours of more talking and even some gaming with one another, sleep is much needed. Jaemin offers an extra toothbrush and a sweater and pair of sweats to sleep in. You’re facing each other on his bed, noses almost touching.

“It’s been a while since I haven’t had sex with a girl before I slept next to them,” he whispers, adjusting himself comfortably. The side of his face rests on his piled hands. “It’s kinda nice.”

You cover your mouth as you yawn, then lay your hand back under your head, reflecting the same position as Jaemin.

“You know, it might be my sleepiness talking, but maybe you’re not the worst person in the world to be stuck with during a snowstorm.”

A lovely chuckle echoes in your ear. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”

After a few moments, your eyes are fluttering to a close until he softly calls out your name.

“Hm?” you stir awake, but not by much.

“Do you...?”

Jaemin doesn’t know what’s gotten to him, doesn’t quite understand why the defences he built for so long are crumbling down in only a day of knowing you.

And yet, something urges him to give it a chance.

Blowing out a shaky sigh, he anxiously intertwines his fingers with yours. You hum softly at the action and a small smile blooms on your face.

“Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

“Hm?” His question doesn’t take you aback as much as you would be if you were fully awake. But even in your drowsy state, you have quips in hand. “Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, wants to go on a date?”

“Yeah,” he replies gently, brushing your loose hair out of your face.

Another yawn. “I thought you said you don’t want feelings and relationships and all that shit.”

His fingers trace your pretty jawline and shrugs. “One date doesn’t mean we’re going to be in a relationship, I’m sure you know that.”

You pause for a good two seconds, but the two seconds feel like forever for Jaemin.

“Mmm, fine. One date, just one.” You barely hold up your pointer finger. “And only because it’s Christmas tomorrow. ‘Tis the season to be giving...”

Relief washes over Jaemin in the form of a smile. Embracing the blatant feeling in his chest this time, he plants a light kiss on your nose and wishes you sweet dreams, even though you’ve already fallen soundly asleep.

Sunlight pours over your eyes on Christmas morning.

Déjà vu peculiarly creeps up on you, but the only thing that’s the same as yesterday is waking up in Jaemin’s bed.

He’s next to you this time, deep in his peaceful slumber, instead of waiting for you to leave by his doorframe. The snow has finally stopped, and you think you hear the faint noises of snow plows outside. You inhale deeply and also notice the faded aroma from all the scented candles from last night.

The scenes of yesterday flicker across your mind. The incredible sex. The talking. The dinner. The interlocking of his fingers with yours.

The date he asked you out on.

You stare at him, watching him sleep with a sense of content.

Turning your body, you routinely check your phone, which is charging beside his. You have a slew of Merry Christmas texts from several chats and a few private messages from your friends.

Your attention falls on Jaemin’s phone when it lights up with a notification, likely texts from his friends and family too.

But that’s not what you’re focusing on.

Your heart sinks at the sight of his lockscreen.

It’s a picture of him and a girl kissing.

A twinge emerges in your chest and twists harder and harder.

Jaemin being a fuckboy, you can respect. People can do whatever they want with their lives.

But to cheat?

That’s unforgivable, and a true sin if there ever was one.

You scramble to dash out of there, careful not to make any noises in fear of waking Jaemin up. However, Jaemin’s sensitive to the sounds of the front door, so he rouses awake. His eyes flit open, noticing how you’re gone. He then sees his phone blowing up and adds two and two together.

With his phone in hand, Jaemin rushes to get on a coat and stuffs his feet into his boots, not giving a shit that he’s wearing his thin pajamas in the coldness. He’s bounding down the flight of stairs and onto the bright, white wonderland of the streets.

He swivels his head and catches sight of you almost past down the block, slowly trekking through the thick snow. Jaemin sprints, as much as he can, and hops towards you.

He yells your name, making others on the street turn, but you don’t. You continue forward without looking back.

“Wait! I can explain!”

You’re trying to gain speed, but cardio isn’t your friend. Thankfully for Jaemin, it’s a close friend for him.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Jaemin,” you grunt, hearing the rapid crunching of his shoes coming closer. “Get lost.”

“No, listen to me for a second.”

The boyish man grasps you by the arm and turns you around. You throw his arm away from you and he holds his hands in the air, letting you know that he respects your space. He drops his hands and sees that you’re seething, even worse than you were when he kicked you out yesterday.

“How are you going to explain your lockscreen with you kissing your fucking girlfriend?! Hm?”

“Ex,” he pants in clarification. “Ex-girlfriend.”

Your eyebrows mesh together in utter confusion.

“Okay? That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that you’re still hung up on your ex.”

Jaemin shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair. You note the large clouds he exhales and how he’s barely wearing any clothes. A tinge of sympathy passes through you, wanting to give him some of your clothes for extra layers, but you smother that quickly in your state of rage.

“I’m not hung up on her. Remember you asked me yesterday why I don’t want girls to stay the next morning?”

You cock your head impatiently, as if saying, “Yeah.”

“Well, I don’t want to attach myself to girls. I can’t. I...”

He lowers his head to one side. Shutting his eyes, a long puff emits from his mouth.

“She cheated on me.”

The snow plows in the distance can’t compare to the pumping of your heart in your ears. All the feelings you felt in the last day, but especially in the last fifteen minutes, jumble together in your head, making you feel uneasy and unsure of what to exactly feel or comprehend of the situation.

But you do know one thing, despite the fact that you two barely know each other, the pained look on his face is real—that this is the untold story behind his ways.

Jaemin lifts his head and holds out his phone for emphasis. “The lockscreen serves as a constant reminder that dating and feelings will and can fuck me up.”

Carefully, he steps a little closer to you and slowly cups your face in his shaking hands. You don’t pull away nor is there the same anger from moments before, so he daintily runs his thumbs over your cheeks.

“Until you showed me yesterday that maybe I’m willing to give it all another shot. Risk it all for fuck knows what, but you make it look like it’s worth it.”

He continues his ramble after adjusting some of your hair from the ongoing breeze.

“Sure, it’s Christmas today, but I don’t want you to say yes to going on a date with me just because it is. I want you to say yes because maybe you like spending time with me just as much as I like to spend it with you.”

You’re completely disoriented—your eyes are shifting everywhere but his eyes and your lips are quivering with no words coming out. He sighs understandingly.

“Look, I know you’re probably having second thoughts and you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think on it for as much time as you need, but I want you to know that I genuinely like you and I want to go on an actual date with you.”

He peels his hand away from your face and raises it into the air as if taking an oath.

“I, Na Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, will devote to monogamy once again if it means I can date you.”

His hands grab yours, kisses the back of them, and then he presses one kiss onto your icy cheek prior to walking away.

“Merry Christmas,” he says with a sad smile. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

Later that evening at your large family’s Christmas party, you take another dreadful gulp of your wine.

It’s the happy holiday season, but why does everyone feel the need to stick their nose in your dating life? Well, really, a lack there of.

“Why are you still single?” Layers of their voices resound the same question in your head. You take another swig.

Potential unsaid answers that you kept to yourself fly around as you swish the drink in your glass.

Because you choose to be.

Okay, not really, but it’s the easiest answer.

Because you haven’t found the right guy to get you back in the game.

What does that even mean? What makes the right guy even right?

The right guy? It’s someone who makes you laugh, someone who gives as good as they can take it, someone who wants you just as much as you do.

The cogs move in your head as you take one more sip before you finally come to the conclusion—

Because you didn’t find the right guy until last night.

Despite the mess of today and yesterday morning, you realize that Jaemin is... actually sort of sweet. Annoying, yes, but he keeps you on your toes. It’s a plus that he’s easy on the eyes, but it’s a bigger plus that he’s even easier to talk to.

And if he can find it in his scorched heart to trust you, you can find it in your heart to trust him too.

You quickly say your good-byes to your family and let them know you have other plans with friends tonight.

As the Uber rolls up to his apartment building, you realize you probably should’ve messaged him on Tinder, but it’s worth a shot to see if he’s home. Anyways, impulsiveness is a controlling entity, as evident from your Christmas Eve Eve’s adventure.

And in retrospect, perhaps Jaemin was the perfect pick of the crop after all.

Someone’s entering the building and lets you in behind them. You take the stairs two at a time and hear booming music coming from his floor. At first, you assume it’s from other apartments, but it’s all coming from one—his.

Without a thought, your knuckle taps the door.

A handsome figure that’s definitely not Jaemin opens the door. Behind him, you see a group of young men scattered around the living room, and some have a few girls tucked under their arms.

The man eyes you up and down with a spark in his eye. He’s not Jaemin, but he surely reminds you of him.

“And who might you be?” he asks.

“Who’s at the door, Jeno?” An unknown male voice hollers in a high pitch from the couch. He’s one of the guys with a girl attached to him.

You blink. “Uhm, I’m—”

“She’s with me!” Jaemin shoves the flirty stranger aside and tugs you by your wrist, making headway to his bedroom. He flips the light switch on and the door clicks shut.

“What are you doing h—”

You cut him off with a kiss.

An innocent one, at first, with hints of alcohol on each other’s lips. Your arms wrap around the other and the passion increases with the mingling of your tongues, each party tasting and confirming the specific drinks you both consumed tonight.

Jaemin forces himself to pull away and presses his forehead against yours. “Did you just come all the way here to kiss me, or...?”

“Maybe I came over to ask... if I can stay with you for another night?” you playfully ask, fingers intertwining behind the nape of his neck.

He chuckles heartily. His fingers sink into the sides of your waist. “Is my dick that great? The sex with me that amazing?”

“Mmm, that’s definitely a benefit,” you agree, fluttering your nose against his. “But I want more than that—“ You poke a finger to his chest. “—I want the man behind the dick.”

Your gazes converge, bringing you together as one.

“I want to go on that date with you. I want you, Jaemin.”

He flashes a megawatt smile that could compete with a million Christmas lights, but it fades suddenly and you’re unsure why he seems like he’s about to bawl his eyes out.

“That’s so beautiful, I might cry.” He brings a finger to his eye, pretending to shed a tear.

Oh, yeah—you’re definitely going to need to hire someone to constantly shove your eyeballs back into your sockets if you’re going to date Jaemin.

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper, yanking him in for another kiss.

Three dates later, including a memorable New Year’s Eve, you finally decide to rid of the Tinder app for good.

With his arm around you on his living room couch, Jaemin glances over your shoulder.

“Really? You’re finally deleting your Tinder?”

You snort in disbelief. “That’s gold, coming from the King of Tinder himself. When did you delete?”

He turns to face the television and shrugs coolly.

“Maybe I didn’t.”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” you nod, eyes still on your phone.

“Nah, I’m kidding, I did.”

You sharply turn your head.

“No way. When?” you press with narrow eyes.

A shy smile emerges on Jaemin’s face as he picks his pants over his thighs.

“On the night of Christmas Eve, after you agreed to go on a date with me.”

7K notes · View notes

changminurheart · 3 years ago

Text

just friends. (one)

synopsis: jiyong and changmin have always been best friends. you are his girlfriend, so why does it feel like he sees more of her than you?

“friends don’t sit on each others laps and friends certainly dont look at each other the way you do.”

genre: angst, little fluff, break up au, boyfriend changmin! strangers to lovers to enemies. basically your whole relationship to start to finish kapow.

pairing: ji changmin x reader , choi chanhee x reader

taglist: idk let me know :)

member appearances for reference: boyfriend changmin, best friend kevin, friend chanhee, juyeon as jiyong’s boyf.

warnings: uh swearing? sadness idk nothing much.

word count: 3-4k me thinks

part one of this three-shot i think but let me know what you think !!!!

you had been warned before by the wise beauty they called choi chanhee.

“they’ve always been like that,” he whispered under the hazy hues of neons pink and blue. music blazing too loudly that his lips were ushered close to your ears, his breath resting on your skin. you turned to him with a furrow in your brows, confusion etched into your porcelain features. “what do you mean?” biting down the fear growing, you raised your voice to outdo the thundering of your heartbeat. “jiyong and changmin,” he shrugged, milky collarbone tensing through the neck of his checkered sweater. the saliva in your mouth turned dry at the pair opposite to you. “childhood friends the three of us are,” he turns to you, contemplating whether or not to take the trembling cup from your hands. “but them? not sure besties could cut it, i mean they are inseparable,” he spaces the words of his warning out. he takes a step closer to you, tapping your temples ever so gently “so don’t get mixed up in them, please don’t,” he whispered, lips so close to your skin and then he lets go and holds back, noticing how the chocolate irises of yours are stuck on his best friend’s. eyes locked in an intense match, chanhee sighs silently already knowing the antics of ji changmin; resident heartbreaker and ultimate idiot. your eyes are still on his, heart gasping at the smirk that overtakes changmin’s features. your orbs glance over to the girl chanhee calls jiyong legs swinging off his thighs as shes draped over his lap and then back over to him. you turn swiftly to chanhee, mouth open but the words refusing to escape to the sweaty evening air of kim sunwoo’s house party. you take a swing of the drink on your hand, unsure whether its the alcohol or your heart thats burning and suddenly you feel so warm. the bittersweet aftertaste of the mixed contents fills you with dread; it hasnt started yet, but you already had a taste of how it was going to end.

you see him again in all his dimpled and golden glory the night of the annual music showcase. courtesy of your best friend kevin. sweat humouring the air in an intense hug, you craved some sort of fresh air. the only way was the exist and you promised kevin that you’d be here tonight, you’d be there for him and so you wait: heart rate rising unsteadily, flushing red cheeks and a clamour of breaths that were no match to the sweet tune of moon hyungseo’s voice. your seat at the top row gave you a perfect view of the stage and once hearing the touch of piano keys and a voice that oozed comfort, a smile overtook your features and in that moment all you felt was pride. when the song ended, you rose to your feet, hand clapping in line with your endless chanting.

and then you saw him. or at least it was his back as he stood against your view, fixing the edges of his jacket before loosing himself to the voice of conan gray and god, did you lose your mind. the honeys of his skin glistened under the white light; like a star in the ashy midnight sky. his legs carried him in a bouncing run across the stage, hands flying in a smooth gesture as he grabbed the moment and truly felt himself. you had never understood the passion that an artist required until tonight, seeing love and life in a bodily rhythm that you felt everything hit at once- watching this stranger perform was truly exhilarating. the bad stories you had been told of ji changmin were easily replaced with overwhelming pride and you cheered his name, happy to be alive and existing in this moment. the music was too loud for him to hear you thought and so you sit back in your chair and wait for the remaining acts of the evening to finish; finding solace in the fresh talent and candyfloss you had bought on your way in.

kevin finds you not a moment later, your wandering form heading to what he assumes is backstage and he runs to you in a hug. “how was i?” he breathes into your neck and you rub your hand in warm circles on his back before pulling away and smiling “amazing as ever, dear god just let you debut, the world isnt ready!” he lets the happiness reach his eyes in a sweet smile and you grin back, impossibly wider.

youre about to ask kevin where youd be getting drinks tonight, tradition having you both piss drunk at a new bar every time he performs as an act of celebration and what kevin calls ‘bestie-ship’, when you feel a warm hand on your shoulder. “y/n?” a soft voice asks and you turn, eyes widening in familiarity at the stranger. “chanhee!” and he lets you pull him in for a short hug. “i didnt know you were here,” you tilt your head in an adorable pout and he pauses, breath finding patience. “you mean you didnt come to see me perform?” he teasingly mocks the jut of your bottom lip and you punch him lightly. “i got here a little later so i mustve missed it, sorry,” your features etched into worry and chanhee smiles reassuringly. “theres always next time,” he pats your head. “but if you still want to then maybe-”

“chanhee!” and suddenly red blinds your vision. you, you pause. changmin doesn’t acknowledge you until after he’s pulled both chanhee and kevin into side hugs and then turns back to his best friend. “you were amazing hee,” he smiled sincerely, a smile that wasnt meant for you but it reached your heart amd set it alight nevertheless. “of course i was min,” chanhee lightly scoffed and changmin pushed his side, jokingly. “and you kevin-” his broad shoulders and long neck twist to your direction. intending to compliment kevin, he stands still. eyes glued to yours in a moment that never seems to end. you wait for him to leave the locked trance and finish his sentence but it never comes.

“and you kevin,” kevin himself echoes, a toothy grin displayed when changmin slowly shakes his head and lets out a nervous laugh.

“and you kevin, have really got to let me listen to your soundcloud page,” his eyebrows dance and ends of his lips curled into a dazzling smile.

“no can do,” kevin returns, running one hand through the wisps of ebony black hair and the other finding home on your arm to practically stick you by his side. “only she can,” and both chanhee and changmin pull back in mock surprise.

“bestie privileges,” you shrug and feel kevin behind you laugh quietly.

changmin takes note of how soft you look under the light, hair curled around your ears and the humidity of the night blushing your radiating cheeks. you looks so different yet similar from the night of the party, your nerves replaced with relaxation and this time, or at least he thinks, changmin feels as if you don’t want to run away from him. so when he hears your voice for the first time, changmin melts and decides that one way or another he’s going to get to know you.

“and who might you be?” he directs his question to you, one thats full of futile curiosity. he knows who you are after having grilled chanhee the night of sunwoo’s party and he knows you were here, the only reason why he bothered to interrupt whatever chanhee was talking to you about. but hearing your name spill from your lips yourself brought out a new feeling in him.

“y/n” he repeats in a soft mutter to himself, your name feeling like honey.

“y/n”, chanhee mocked him, his perfect nose and rosy lips raising to imitate changmin’s features. you giggled at the two and he felt his heart soar once more.

taking that short moment of silence to turn to kevin again, you asked where he wanted to go. “i have a seven am tomorrow,” he whined, eyes widening in exasperation and you kissed your teeth tauntingly.

“sucks to be yo-”

“its monday tomorrow y/nie,” kevin crosses his arms and leans the entire of his top body forward, almost crouching to get up all in your space.

“thank you kevin the calendar,” you rolled your eyes, shoving him back.

“so you have a seven am too,” he raises his sculpted to perfection brows and your hands fly to your face to slap the stupidity out of you.

“why,” you groaned and the pair turned their brown eyes towards you once more.

“why what?” and you jumped back, forgetting the two were still standing next to you and kevin. placing a hand on your heart before covering the chuckles leaving kevin’s mouth, “why are we still alive?”

“so we can suffer together,” and you see chanhee taking a sip of a new drink bottle when a solution clicks.

“my house, soju, couple of glasses you knock out and can sleep over yeah?” you compromise.

“yeah and head to songwriting class with a boulder on my head, sure!”

“don’t be a party pooper kevin,” changmin catches sight of your puppy like eyes, crossed arms and adorably defensive stance.

“yeah dont be a party pooper, kebin,” he stands next to you, copying your actions and your nose scrunches in a tight smile. kevin, the man himself, raises his eyebrows at the two of you clearly amused by many things he’s caught note of tonight.

changmin looks behind him, tilting his head at his best friend with narrowed eyes, ushering him to join you.

“are we really doing this?” chanhee groans and when changmin’s glare heightens he stands up a little straighter “i guess we are,” he mutters. standing on your other side, he crosses his arms and pleads with all his eyes and might to kevin to stop whatever this was.

“for the love of god just drink with us.”

“us?” youre an idiot who quirks their brow and then it hits you how theyve openly invited themselves.

“i don’t know if you remember y/n but i performed too you know,” chanhee almost whines.“and besides,” changmin intterupts with the stars in his eyes blinding your vision of rationality, “weve helped to now havent we?” he cheekily winks and your mind is unsure of what to do.

one part of you declines, heeding the warning chanhee gave. you know you have to draw the line if he wont, stop this before it even starts, but one look at ji changmin and you decide to wait.

“sure but,” you turn to chanhee, motioning for him to crouch to your height and come closer so your lips reach his ear in a whisper. something stirs in changmin and he hates the feeling and even more so hates the sight of you too so close. he can hardly make out the words that cause chanhee to soften and pat your head, whispering back a gentle “no she wont come”. when you pull back, chanhee interlocks your pinkies in a trusted promise.

“okay,” you turn to the three men, arm holding out to kevin. “to my place!” you walk in front with kevin, his boisterous laughter filling the air as you almost trip over your own feet from missing cracks in the pavement.

changmin takes the noise as an oppourtunity to voice his curiousity in a slow question, “what was that all ab-”

“jiyong, where is she?” chanhee cuts him off, smile slipping from his previous embrace.

“chasing after juyeon, why?” changmin’s brows furrowed.

“theyre still together?”

“yeah, had a little break, poor thing was distraught over it but now theyre good.”

“she’s not a child changmin, you know that,” chanhee grips his shoulder, suddenly so serious. “you’ve got to put her aside to see whats right in front of you sometimes, right?” eyes boring into his. a quick glance over at you, eyes shining like the little streetlamps above.

“i can try to have a girlfriend and a girl whos a best friend okay, you worry too much,” and he punches chanhee’s shoulder before catching up to where you are walking, leaving his other best friend in the dark.

changmin doesn’t stay over, at least that night he doesn’t.

you spend till three am, clinking glasses of cheap soju whilst laughing to every shinee song out there before changmin hurls a sleeping chanhee into a taxi and leaving you a sweet ‘goodnight’. but you learn a lot of things that night: how chanhee is a happy drunk- very affectionate, always giggling unprovoked most of the time, how kevin is still not over that time you threw his gummy worms in the first grade sandbox and most importantly, how changmin may seem intimidating on stage but dancing to ‘what is love’ in your living room with sock clad feet is anything but the former.

you finish your last karaoke session for the night and lean back, sighing in content with your two new and one old friends.

“one game!” chanhee cheers, and kevin silences him with a quick and exaggerated “shut up and sleep.” chanhee pushes past kevin’s hands that failed to cover his lips and fills each cup again to the brim.

“truth or dare!!” his eyes twinkle so hard you feel horrible for even thinking of saying no. you nod, waiting for someone- anyone to make a move.

“changmin, truth or dare?” kevin asks, eyes wiggling dramatically that a chuckle escapes past his lips.

“dare,” he shrugs, nose scrunched in amusement.

“i dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room,” and before changmin can even begin to protest, chanhee lands a big kiss on to his cheek, smirking proudly. “its me guys and gal, im the hottest in this room,” and by the unbothered looks of changmin you guess that maybe this isnt the first time choi chanhee’s antics have gone ahead.

“moving on,” changmin rolls his eyes, “y/n” he faces you, eyes unmoving and intoxicated or not you cant bear to look away.

“yes?” you breathe.

“truth or dare?” he asks, eyes lighting up with mischief.

“truth because i dont trust you right now,” you wince and a pout lands on his cherry lips.

“you dont trust me?” a hand of his holds his chest as he teasingly holds back.

“i dont trust that look on your face,” you correct, letting out a little ‘oof’ as chanhee finds his head tucked on your shoulder.

“yeah your stupid face,” he sleepily mumbles and you pat his head gently.

“okay, truth,” he repeats accompanied by kevin who lets out the loudest “boo you whore!” throwing his snack bar in your direction.

“truth: what were you and chanhee whispering about earlier?” and you stop, heart and brain malfunctioning that you can not form a proper answer. you dont trust yourself to answer but the alcohol in your veins already has your lips open.

“you dont have to answer-”

“i wanted to know if you have a girlfriend,” you blurt, the semi-lie holding a taint of truth. but who knew you could be so bold, you blame the heat for your pink cheeks when changmin lets out the softest “oh” and kevin again with the loudest hollers

“thats my best friend!! shoot that shot, whore!”

“stop calling me a whore you bitch,” you scold him and then clear your throat. “truth or dare changmin?” and its his turn to think.

“truth.”

“do you have a girlfriend?” you curse the gleams in your eyes that made you seem too hopeful.

“no,” he smiles, dimple diving deep. “not yet at least,” he tilts his head at you and downs the last of his drink and you follow suit.

soju has never tasted sweeter.

you don’t see each other for a couple of weeks later. you hoped that time would blur the brunette beauty from your mind but everything was pointless. you were drawn to ji changmin like a moth to a flame and god knew how hard you were going to burn.

focusing on the tapoica pearls in front of you, quietly slurping from the plastic straw (sorry earth, please recycle) you scribbled down the notes of your last lecture. you had roughly an hour left before you could make your way down to kevin’s side of the campus; hating how he was studying music and you medicine because you sure as hell did not want to bear any form of exercise. but you had an hour and a bank account that could buy you another cup of boba and complete happiness. legs swinging, pen tapping and airpods in to the heavenly sound of seventeen, you made your notes. sure they were illegible as hell, looking like a toddler’s drawing but they were enough for you to understand the great depths of anatomy.

you’re so invested into your study session that you miss the sound of bells that signal new customers walking in.

soft curved eyes find your form instantly, neck craning just to double check that its you and ji changmin leaves his partner at the counter and makes his way to your table.

“y/n?” he asks, head shifting at an awful angle and slowly you lift your own head up to meet his gaze.

“min?” and he quirks a brow. you remove the airpods from your ears and chew the remaining of the ball.

“oh uh, i uh heard chanhee call you that last time we met but its fine if its personal and you dont want me to call you that-” you rambled, embarrassed.

“no,” he cuts you off, his orbs creasing with affection. “i think i love it more when its you who says it,” he breathes honestly and your grin stays glued to your face.

letting out a quiet giggle, you fiddle with your straw. “how come ive never seen you around before?” he asks, taking the seat opposite you.

you gesture aggressively to your laptop, textbooks and strewn note paper. “i have fallen victim to a demanding education system, i might actually die,” you turn to him and he laughs a sound youve never loved more.

“well i suck at studying so text me and maybe we can meet up for a session together,” he turns to your belongings and stacks up a few fallen sheets “but this sure does look intense” and you sigh in agreement.

“are you here by yourself?” he asks hopeful and you dumbly nod like a child.

“and you?”

“no i came with a friend and there she is. jiyong!” he calls and your heart falls as easily as her name leaves his lips. the blonde girl makes her way to your table, unnoticed of your presence or maybe she has and just doesnt care. youre not a fan of coffee hence why you sit in a boba store and so the strong whiff of her americano blasts your face and fuels your growing dislike.

“chan you wandered off!” she huffs, placing his boba cup on the table, pushing it in changmin’s direction and then taking a seat right next to him. he pouts in front of her until she gives in and curls into his side- the sight making you sick.

“ji, this is y/n. y/n this is jiyong,” changmin introduces and she stares at you and then at changmin and then back at you. a single look has you feeling a thousand times small and you fight the urge to visibly shrink in your seat.

“y/n,” she repeats and it feels far from the way changmin had once mumbled to himself. “cant say ive heard much about you babe,” she makes a point to stare and the voice of chanhee comes to you. font get mixed up in them.

its like someones snapped you back to reality and you take a careful look at the dynamics between the two supposed best friends. your tongue feels dry as you find the right words to save yourself.

“well theres not much to speak of babe,” you tell her, trying to hide the malice and spark of jealousy. “ive only known him for maybe a day in total,” you shrug.

“a day? im hurt,” he wipes a mock tear from his face and you raise your brows.

“youre always hurt arent you?” you retort.

“only by you, youre a real heartbreaker y/l/n y/n”

“could say the same for you min except maybe youre just a baby,” you tease, both of you fighting the smiles that intend to break into your cheeks. he gives in first, laughing and nodding slowly.

“stick around and maybe i could be your baby,” he boldly flirts and you squint, trying to guess whether he was playing with you or not. he leans forward and simply raises his eyebrows at you, waiting for a response.

“what do you have in mi-”

“ah!” a scream interrupts and both your heads turn to the forgotten girl at your table. the dark hues of her americano now staining the crisp whites of her blouse. “chan, its hot!” she cries out and you want to point out so badly that there was clearly ice in her cup. so you roll your eyes and a scoff leaves you on instinct, making her head turn to yours in a harsh glare.

“what did you just say?” she stops but changmin doesn’t.

your focus is on him whos more concerned about the staining of her dress and he removes his hoodie ready for her to change. the single action makes your blood boil and you let a forced tight lipped smile take over your face. “nothing,” you mutter and at lightning speed you swoop all your belongings into your tote bag. “have fun,” you salute your fingers from your temple, not missing the faint “im sure we will” coming from the bitch of the century.

and its only then changmin catches sight of your departure. “wait y/n!” he calls out and you badly want to turn around but gathering whatever is left of your self respect you refuse and keep heading towards the exit.

“let her go chan, if shes leaving like that im sure she has somewhere she needs to be,” jiyong tells him, “thanks for this,” she softens and pats his shoulder before pointing to the bathroom so he knew where she was. changmin nods, staring at your forgotten airpods and then at the door.

that was the second time you had run away from ji changmin.

339 notes · View notes

lemonietrinket · 4 years ago

Text

how dream would react to you getting the hiccups

genre: pure fluff, humour wordcount: 965 warnings: some foul language (1x s**t, 1x f**k) an: just soft fluff that i wrote when really tired oops. sorry for the sudden hiatus of sorts, i am starting to pick up studying again (hangeul & sociology) as well as cleaning the house since it makes them all so salty to trip over stuff all the time but then they never do anything about it. basically its going to take me a while to hit that balance between work & writing again so please bear with me gender neutral reader

~ all members below the cut ~

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

mark

his immediate reaction would be to laugh at you

you would hiccup in between your words, and he would pause, stare at you with those puppy eyes and just

“dude/babe was that a hiccup?!”

and then boom hes doing that contagious giggle he always does

especially if your hiccups aren’t the dainty little hic that the media portrays

it’ll only get worse if you end up laughing with him bc how could you not or try to continue talking, only to be interrupted by your own hiccups

if they don’t go away quickly then he will likely offer you some water

but if you hiccup again while accepting it to the point that a small bit spills hes just going to laugh again

i’m sorry

he means well!

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

renjun

he is much more sensible than mark

and yet still would find himself instantly chuckling at how your hiccup sent you stuttering

however he’ll stifle it as best he can, maybe covering his mouth as he does

immediately offers to get you a drink if one isn’t already at hand

if you’re dating he’ll give you his without a thought

if it doesn’t work he may just google what will help, finding a spoonful of sugar as a remedy, and will drag your ass into the kitchen if you refuse

will spoon feed you if your hiccups are getting more annoying than endearing and you don’t want to take the sugar

idk why you wouldnt but then again my sweet-tooth is insane

if you stop him before he finds that page, or if your hiccup doesn’t sound like you’re suffocating then he will try to power on through with you

then i think he would just treat as normal after a bit tbh he’s not as giggly with it

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

jeno

cue the samoyed smile!

ok but fr if you’re dating he’ll find it cute ok

may squish your cheeks if you let him

otherwise

yeah he’s going to zone out while you talk a bit, just listening for the hiccup and then the slight embarrassment that follows

you’re cute when you’re shy and slightly frustrated

if you want to get rid of them tho and ask for some water then he’ll give you his drink if you’re dating or will straight up buy you one if you’re not bc he’s a good friend :))

where can i get a jeno

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

haechan

“it’s just disgusting how they think they can get away with that stuff all over again, the sick fu-IC-cks...”

oh boy he is going to tease you

it’s a funny noise and the way it interrupted your rant mid curse word and just ruined all the passion you spoke with is just

it’s hilarious, tbh

i’m not saying he’ll impersonate the sound but he’ll give a good play of cuckoo bird, echoing your humiliating defeat

might coo a little bit too if you’re dating

“awww, have you got the wittle hiccupss yniee?! awww poor wittle—hey!”

steal his drink or his sweets to help and get your own back

trust me, he deserves it

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

jaemin

is going to laugh at you

but is going to find it endearing

and unlike mark will help

will laugh straight out loud bc the hiccup was hardly dainty, and then immediately apologise and ask if you’re ok

that big charismatic smile is still very much on his lips tho throughout

will chuck his drink over if you’re dating or not

but will listen more intently if you’re dating, his smile brightening every time you hiccup and the blush/pout deepens as you continue to talk

“jaeminnn stop!”

“what! i’m not doing anything!”

“you’re laughing at me!”

“am not!”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

chenle

finds it strangely cute, how shy you get

and so will smile and giggle quite loudly and ask if you want some water

if you choose to power on through you’ll just find his grin blinding and him laughing every time you hiccup

if you accept the water and whine when it doesn’t work he’ll look up what will help, leading him to get sweets for you

best friends or dating he will steal that shit for you he doesn’t care

and anyway maybe the tension of breaking into his manager’s room will scare them out of you

he’s a good friend

and will attempt the scare tactic on you once, in probably a really obvious and ineffective way

but it’s cute so who cares

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

jisung

a sweetheart

will immediately stifle his laughter as best he can but won’t make much of an effort to help

until it dawns on him that scaring may work

i feel he has a devious streak, especially if you’re really close, so even when you show disdain that it won’t work

he will take it upon himself to make you jump for as long as it takes for the hiccups to go away

and if they last all day then

i’m so sorry boo

he’s adorable though, even if he is predictable

and on the off chance he does succeed in making you jump he will listen intently, even shushing you, to hear if the hiccups continue

and just by his luck that’ll be when they decide to stop and then you’re going to have a mildly smug best friend/boyfriend for the rest of the day

and boy he won’t let you forget it, in his own quieter way

“see? i saved you,” he would murmur, bumping your arm or putting an arm carefully round your waist

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

~~~

an: woop there it is. i hope these arent too samey :(( i also wanted to write it as if for both romantic and platonic scenarios since there’s not enough platonic stuff on here and bc this is quite a general topic

masterlist

~ pls dont forget to offer comments on my work! they mean the world to me and really motivate me to work more :)) tysm! ~

217 notes · View notes

miridiums-writing · 4 years ago

Text

Loki x reader

This is the longest thing I've ever written, also having to post on my phone because I dont have a computer so I apologise I can to the read more thingy

Summary; Loki decides to prank his brother one night and end up becoming a therapist for Y/N, currently the most withdrawn are tough to crack of the bunch, as a snake

Warning; swearing, panic attacks, depression, self-harm, past abuse, past sexual assault, mentions of medical torture, death of a friend, the team seeming like dickheads, I do apologise. Also, may have plugged in my favourite power again…… please don’t hate me, reader is so oblivious it should be illegal. Please don’t read if this triggers you!!

Word count; 2k

Loki slowly slithered down the hallway, scales making a noise very comforting to him against the floor. Being a snake gave him a sense of peace and freedom. Tonight, he was heading for only one room, Thor’s. he hadn’t pranked his brother in a month and felt it was necessary to do so now. As he passed one more door until he reached his destination, he heard sniffling and hiccupping coming from the room. Loki’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to investigate. The room was dark, though he could make out to outline of a person under the blankets, full on sobbing now. Loki carefully manoeuvred his small form up the bedframe to the person. They were shaking and sobbing rather badly now, he moved under the blankets and towards the person.

Loki was now curled around the persons hand that was currently gripping onto their hair harshly, almost of the verge of ripping it out. He started to lick at anything he could noticing quickly they were caught in a panic. Their panic was crashing down on them, making them unable to see him or even recognize he was there. Their breathing was laboured and harsh as if they had just run a marathon. Loki tightened himself around their hand in the hopes the pain would ground them. He relaxed when he heard them yelp, pulling the blankets off themselves to look down at Loki. Loki’s blood ran cold when he saw their face. There you were, tears staining your face and eyes red raw, confusion setting into your features as you looked down at him.

“thanks,” you said, your voice rough from crying. “I probably would still be panicking without you.” To you Loki was simply a snake looking up at you curiously. Currently Loki’s mind was screaming. What if they knew it was him and got mad for eaves dropping, what that why you were talking to him as you would a person? You were racking a shaky hand through your hair now, looking as though you were battling with yourself. Like you wanted to say something, but you were unsure. Loki was starting to look to find a way out when you started to speak again. “Fuck it, it’s not like I can talk to actual people,” you look Loki in the eye. “Plus, its not like a snake can look at me with pity.” Loki was slightly confused now, wondering where you were going with this. “ok, how should I? you know what ill just start from the beginning and see where I go shall we?” you gave Loki an unsure smile, though it further confused Loki to see how genuine it was.

“I have anxiety and depression. Um, I self-harmed, still do sometimes when it gets too much, I-uh- fuck I don’t know” you were looking across the room now, fiddling with your hands trying to explain. Loki curled up on your lap again and decided to wait for you to continue. It might help and he didn’t want to leave you alone like this, no matter how scary you were. “My parents were, well, they were shit. I was the oldest, so I took most of the attacks they handed out, punishments I took most of even if I wasn’t the one at fault. When I turned ten-” you cut yourself off to wipe away the tears pooling around your eyes “Sorry,” you chocked out as more tears made their way down your face. “Just, give me a second”

Loki continued to patiently wait for you to continue. He was honestly intrigued now. Maybe learning about your past could help him form a bridge between you, especially since you always seemed to distance yourself from everyone. He knew everyone needed someone to lean on. The tears had slowed again, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

“ok, when I turned 14 I was sold off, my parents were fed up of dealing with me and they ripped me away from those I cared about. I was sold at auction from money and given from person to person” your features were changing now, anger contorting your face “I was used as property, a toy, not a person, something people can just own. Used again and again, my innocence ripped from me!” you were yelling now though when you noticed you took a calm breath “sorry. So yes, I was basically a sex toy for gross old men. Though a good thing came from it. When I turned 17, I met a guy called Phoenix. He was, awesome. So genuine, so kind. We were both in this awful situation, but we had each other, we told everything about ourselves to each other and it was a freedom I hadn’t had before them. An actual friend.” The tears had started again but you just wiped them away and continued your story, Loki hadn’t moved yet, frozen in place through the power of your words. “when we were 18, phoenix was taken out the cell one night. Dragged by his hair outside. I remember vividly, we were both crying reaching for each other.” Your hands were clenched in anger now. “THEY SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!” you looked down at the snake in anger, though when your eyes met you tried to breath again, trying to keep calm. After a few minutes of deep breathes you continued once more. “I guess I could say a piece of me was lost that day, I lost the only thing I had left and I just broke. I was numb, I didn’t move, I didn’t eat, I didn’t do anything. When they found I couldn’t be useful as a sex toy anymore they sold me off again. To Hydra. I was subject 1843.” Loki internally gasped instantly, that was them? When the team had last broken into a Hydra base, he remembered reading something about them.

Subject 1843

Reported missing for 9 months.

Uses; medical chemicals for the next generation of super soldiers

Experimental aid

Stress relief

Loki was brimming with anger now. Everyone on the team backhanded them as a spoilt kid who didn’t like people, they all brushed them off ignoring them most of the time as most hand given up even trying to reach out to them. The only ones who still bothered were Cap and Spider ling, and even then, the interactions were slim to none, asking how their day was, that was about it. They kept to themselves otherwise. Loki remembered Bucky being mad because they spoke up about their past being bad and Bucky instantly being mad that they didn’t know what true pain was like. Yet there they were taking every punch and all that pain, emotional and physical from the team, people who are supposed to care about them and they said nothing.

“I was used as a test subject of sorts, chemicals were tested on me first, if I had a reaction, they didn’t use them. Simple as. I was used in experiments, my body was simply theirs to play around with, that explains the butterfly thing. One chemical reacted with him body and now I can create butterflies, somehow. I don’t mind the butterflies are rather calming. Anyway, when I turned 19, I found a way to escape and never looked back. Now I’m here, in bed having panic attacks and refusing help from actual people” you chuckled to yourself without humour “I’m so messed up inside, it doesn’t feel appropriate to reach out to them now, I’ve been so cruel.” Without thinking Loki shakes his head, then both of you freeze. You look down at him curiously. “You understand me?” Loki decided it better if you know and nods his head. “huh, cool,” you said smiling down at him. “ok then, who do you suggest I spoke to, who do you think I should trust?” Loki looks at them ridiculously for a second. They didn’t get he wasn’t a snake? Either way Loki decided to make his way to his own room as you followed behind him, your feet making a gentle pitter patter on the floor.

When they both arrive at his room Loki quickly dodges in before them and changes back sitting on the bed and reading. When you walk in, he looks up at you, trying not to show he already knew why you were there. You stand there for a second looking around the room, clearly searching for the snake, your hands massaging each other nervously. “I have some stuff I want to tell someone, will you let me talk?”

-------------------------------------------------------time skip------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat with your head in his lap, after so much crying that night you had exhausted yourself, you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, but he carefully moved so you were more comfortable. Though it wasn’t much he felt, almost at peace. He noticed you had told snake Loki a lot more than him, but the fact you had even spoken up, to him of all people, filled himself with pride, you trusted your instincts and the snake to speak up finally, and relieve yourself of the burden you had carried for so long. Though now he felt it was only his place to explain to the team. Before you had fallen asleep, he had asked you about it. You explained how you wanted to tell them but couldn’t work up the courage. He asked if you wanted him to do it and he agreed, before you passed out on him. He picked you up, placing you under the covers and called out to Friday. “assemble the team in the kitchen, this is important”

When Loki arrived at the kitchen everyone was there, expect for you. “right let’s get this started,” he said, clapping his hands together. “we have a lot to get through” Thor looked at him with confusion “what is this about?”

“all in due time brother”

“what about Y/N we can’t start without them” Cap said looking as confused as the rest of them.

“Let me explain first talk later, I need you full attention” and with that Loki told them everything you told human him. The team were just as shocked as him by the end of the story. Tony, and Bucky looked the most shocked, knowing full well how often they spoke down to them about them not understanding true pain. Cap and Natasha looked appalled both questioning their morals. The whole group sat in silence for a full five minutes, taking in the information. Being disgusted in themselves for their behaviour, not noticing sooner, not recognizing. If only they did more.

“standing here feeling bad isn’t going to do anything about it,” Clint said. “we’re heroes. We save people, and now its our turn to save a friend. So, stop feeling bad for yourselves, you can’t change the past. Come one, let’s go help them” Clint’s speech seemed to take them out their slump, their eyes regaining their life again and a of justice settling into all of them. Its time to do what they did best. Save other.

Over the course of the next 6 months the whole team was kinder, sure you still pushed them away to begin with, but it was better. Some night Loki still came back to your room as a snake, to calm you from panic attacks, and help you sleep. You and human Loki got closer too, you both ended up liking each other a lot, both finding refuge in each other. When Loki confessed to you, you felt free, like the shackles holding you back were breaking apart, your wings were expanding and you were taking flight, away from the suffering, away from the pain, towards freedom, towards love, towards peace. And when you both kissed for the first time you knew you were truly free.

#loki fanfic #loki of asgard #loki #loki fandom #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #tw murder #tw past trauma

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years ago

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hello, my lovely !! i was hoping to get a matchup with one of the creepypastas. I’m hoping this is all okay for you. Thank you, you are the light of my life.

soo,,,i’m around 5’2 from when i last checked. My figure is hourglass and curvy, I often do that thing where you just kind of hold your tiddies for no reason. I’m one of those people who tans really well and never burns but goes quite pale when I’ve stayed hibernating in my room for only a couple days. This results in me always having pretty dark circles like a beaten up raccoon due to both my lack of sleep and when i oversleep. This always leads to me being ‘relaxed’ which is actually me being lazy and tired. I have naturally waved hair, that straightens and feels all soft/fluffy when i hair dry it, just touching my shoulders since i cut it recently. It’s currently my normal hair colour which is sort of chestnut brown and sometimes dyed different colours, ooh i have green hazel eyes too (my eyes happen to be my favourite features). Uhh, I hate showing my teeth when smiling so you’ll usually get a soft closed mouth smile or my grins where i struggle to keep my mouth shut.

My style, a lot like yours truly, can change. The most frequent styles i go for are dark academia and gothic, these just show my interests off a bit. Like, I’m all for libraries, my earrings in my lobe and around my helix because i have a small obsession for jewellery like rings, also genuinely living for my playlists that i have for every situation out there. Oh, you need music because your now ex boyfriend just ate your dog ? You don’t already have one?? Well, you’re in luck, i do.

My zodiac (some say sun) sign is a Capricorn, my moon is Sagittarius and my rising is also Capricorn. How far i agree with them? I’m not too sure about half of it tbh.

In short, my personality tends to vary quite a bit, depending on my surroundings or who I’m with. It takes quite a long time for me to even become comfortable with people, but that doesn’t stop me from being considerate to most people or being an absolute mum friend when necessary (not overbearing though, because ik people dont always react well with that). Ig that makes me pretty careful/gentle with both people and objects.

I’m afraid I can’t go too into detail, my lovely, but i can say that my humour is extremely dry and filled with innuendos- some unintentional.

relationship wise~

okay, so, um, I’m an omnisexual with she/they pronouns (afab).

I’m a switch. So, yk when i’m in a dom mood because i will have my suit or shirt on. I quite enjoy seeing my partner whining for me, all needy and praise is just- yes. yes please. this is prolly because i’ve always been raised to be well-mannered. Same goes for when I’m being topped, i like having a soft dom and occasionally rough when im feeling particularly spicy.

I’m fairly open to experimenting as long as i know what we’re doing. I do draw a line at being degraded or humiliated since I hate feeling embarrassed and helpless. This is why im not too keen on hate/angry sex. The only harming i’ll allow is biting and a bit of scratching. It’s an intimate moment, let’s keep it that way please.

Outside of that, I’ve always been awkward. Whenever someone holds their hand out for a hug or hand hold, i high-five them :| call me touch-starved i dare you. I’ll manage eventually though.

I’ve got a list of things i’d die for (giving and receiving) <3

leaning into s/o for cuddles or headpats, playing with hands/hair, being dragged by the hand to do smthn, reading to s/o, playing games, ive always been one for giving nicknames and the usual shenanigans we could get up to. like, baby, we could go out into the woods for an adventure dressed as trees to steal juice and collect cool rocks or stay in do karaoke and make fun of bad films. I’d just love having that one person to be my everything and them feeling comfortable to talk about stupid random stuff with me or open up, i pride myself in being open and good with listening. i will take care of them as usual and perhaps roll them into a burrito if necessary.

Your matchup is… Toby!

Read more because of NSFW :}

In general:

So, I read over this and had a few people come to mind for this. It honestly took me a hot minute or so to finally come to a conclusion on who I wanted to pair you with and a few things bounced around in my head before I finally came to the conclusion yes: this is Toby territory.

What he likes about you:

So, physically, just to begin with, Toby really likes your figure! I get the vibe that Toby actually really likes full figured people, who like, this matches up pretty well imo. He thinks your hair is absolutely beautiful and will spend his time running his fingers through it and talking about how beautiful he thinks it is. He also really, really loves the color! And come on this man finds your smile absolutely adorable, regardless if you show teeth or not. All of your smiles are good ones, especially if they’re genuine. Furthermore, he’s gonna hype up your teeth. Whether you accept that or not, take it up with him lmfao Toby is really good for making people feel like gold. He really likes your changing senses of style too because he’ll just,,,, fall into them entirely. Thinks you can pull off everything so well. He LOVES your piercings too!! Also finds it really cute that you have playlists for everything lmfao. I also think he likes your sun sign (I have a small bias towards Capricorns lmfao, I’m sorry, it’s the Virgo in me). Toby really isn’t concerned with zodiac/natal chart stuff so like, but I do think he’d get along with you very well. He thinks you being 5’2 is cute too-. He thinks you being a mom friend is also super sweet too. Also likes that you’re gentle with both people and objects. Furthermore, your sense of humor just,,,,, like it just lines up with him y’know,,,, While I don’t think Toby’s humor is childish, it’s definitely try and full of innuendos as well.

General cute stuff:

I think Toby would be super sweet with you regardless, and wants to hold you but that’s just because he himself is super touch starved. He would… He would high five you lmfao. He understands what it means to be awkward and is one of those “let’s be awkward together” kind of guys. He’s also super into the leaning in for cuddles. When is he not cuddling with you? Always wants to curl up in bed or on the couch as the rain falls and just hold you, humming softly and whispering little secrets about the world and everything in it. Is ready to headpat you whenever, will compare hands with you and do all that kind of cute stuff. Toby loves to go out on little adventures so like, this man is ready to do it all with you. Grocery runs where you just push each other in the carts? Doing donuts in the parking lot at midnight? Wandering the city at high noon and just existing? Little chain restaurant dates, little car rides, traversing the woods and seeing cool mushrooms, watching movies, y’know all that wholesome stuff. Toby would give you just as many nicknames! You will never out nickname him. He’s also really bad at karaoke but he would have fun doing that with you. You could,,,,,, you could roll him into a burrito if you’d like,,,,,,,,

You two as a couple & NSFW:

Toby is really patient and understanding when it comes to his romantic partners. He understands that people are different and some take their time and he’d never rush you for anything. But I feel it would be super easy for you to warm up to Toby. He’s just a pretty mellow people person, y’know? He will also gift you jewelry!! I imagine your relationship is nothing but fun and good love. Just that really wholesome stuff where everyday feels like an adventure. Toby is admittedly kinda awful at taking care of himself so please,,,,, please help him out with that sometimes. Also will get lost looking into your eyes. Just nonstop, “they’re jewels.” He finds you so sweet and so adorable, just let him love you and absolutely adore you. Also he will show you off sometimes! He’s a bit cocky at times so like, if you’re looking fine as hell (which is ALL THE TIME) I swear he is ready to be like “look at my BABY.” Toby will collect cool stuff with you. I can honestly see thrifting dates being a thing between you two, taking time to just explore and stuff. Toby has a hard time opening up about stuff so like, please, help him with that. He will eventually feel so at peace with you and so safe that he’ll just let it all out. I can also see nap dates being a thing between the two of you as well.

This was a big part of how I matched you with someone. I think Toby is a switch! Which is great, because he actually liked being dominated once and a while. He is such a whiner lmfao. He sometimes wants someone to just take over and make him melt entirely. Do that for him. Make him beg for you. Make him writhe under your touch and make him cry out in ecstasy for you. He’ll just be a mess of “please, please please - tell me I’m a good boy” and that kind of stuff. Like YES. Luckily, Toby isn’t that dominant of a person? Like, he’s cocky and definitely likes stuff a certain way but he’s not too rough or too out there most of the time. He’ll always respect your boundaries and he’s just, y’know, a good soft dom. He can do praise really, really well. I also don’t think Toby liked being degraded or that he’s particularly good at degrading people either, so like, I don’t think you have to worry about that. Toby is kind of a scratcher? But nothing off the wall. He’s not too big into biting either. I think he’s big on intimacy as well. So, I really don’t think you need to worry about angry or hate sex. He’s a tad possessive?? But honestly just tell him what you will and won’t allow and he’ll follow through with that. He’s honestly so thrilled you’re letting him touch you.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Hi love bug, you are really really sweet oh my goodness? I'd love to get to know you better just by what you wrote here omfg, flattering me silly. Though, I don’t think you actually gave me your age, I am trusting you immensely-- partly because you included kinks. And the other part just said,,,,, okay,,, I'm trusting you (and it didn't feel right to just make this one platonic.) That's all. Other than that, no, tell me about your humor! Tell me about it and your playlists, and whatever else you find fun and interesting with the world! This blog is just one giant “I will soak up everything bc ily.” You sound like such a sweet person, very sunshiney and just really - like my heart reading this stuff made me happy. I was happy reading this. Other than you being such a lovely person, as always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed! <3

#ticci toby #ticci toby headcanon #creepypasta matchup #matchup #ticci toby creepypasta #nsft #conversations with a fish woman

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sleepingvalley · 3 years ago

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Futakuchi Kenji Brainrot Angst

Warning: Sad, Angst, and sad

Characters: Futakuhi Kenji, Kanji Koganegawa, Aone Takanobu, You

The sun takes a gander at you and your lover in bed. What a rude awakening it brings you. Rolling over to the opposite side of the small bed, kenji groans at the shift of the bed but once the sweet comforting weight is placed back, his annoyance turns into hums. "Ugh...what time is it..." "We're late" your chuckle is accomodated with light slaps to his cheeks. A friday such as this was much more appreciated with a quick day at school and some street candy afterwards. As the monotone pur of the microwave heats up your bentos, kenji reaches for you in the kitchen. "I dont have practice today, wanna go to the arcade later?" he struggles to open his eyes, however opening his eyes to you was never an unrewarded task really. His perfect match, you were. Your perfect match, he was.

Almost in synchrony both of you get ready. Opposite coloured mugs,pastel green and pink, of your chosen drinks. His a dark brew of coffee, yours a light cup of tea. Footsteps in harmony, a piano and violin accompaniment, towards the shower. Once both of you finish drying, you climb on top of your boyfriend's shoulder while you reach for the blazer at the back. His uniform unhanged from the lower cloth rack. Kenji crouches down, you getting off him, taking both of your shoes from the side. He passes the shoes to you, you passing his bag. "Hey did you charge th-" "Phone" passing your phones before he even finishes. You hurry to the kitchen to lock the gasoline to then reach for the bentos. Wrapping them up in a food cloth, the brunette giant walks to you carrying your bag and other school materials. "I got the lunch this time, burger patties." informing him, him giving you a smirk pulling you out of the apartment by now.

"Lock" "Key." He finishes. With each paired rythmn down the flight of stairs, a beep from his and your phone comes in. "Who was that?" Futakuchi takes a glance at your screen, clear with aone's messages of how late you both were. Always so respectable of course. "Ah shoot, we missed Ms. Hina's lecture again. You know how she gets when we-" " 'Have the audacity to even show up late together' I know I know hahhaha You think she'll get tired of it?" The hazel bowled boy mocks the mentor you two know so well by now, always scolding you two for the double trouble you bring. "Who texted you?" your voice not really striken with any emotion, "Probably aone as well. I'll let him know, we're on our way." he responds and brings his phone a bit closer to himself.

Soon approaching the awfully steep down hill path, you run down with all the resistance to not tumble. Kenji snorting at your silliness, "I hope you fall on your face!" He jokingly tease at you, "Oh yeah? I hope you trip and fall with me!" a fiery glint in your eyes with that mischevious smile he falls for. Running towards you, like the two stupid teens you are. You spin and laugh racing towards the school's backgate.

You remember being so scared the first time he even convinced you to jump. You were just first years then, so young and so scared of the rules, but he didn't care. You were miss careful, dubbed by kenji himself, as you thread carefully to every situation you came accross. You were careful in every decision until you chose to be with your long term boyfriend now.

You were in middle school when you first met him. He was tall for his age, like his best friend aone, but unlike the latter boy he wasn't any sort of a gentle giant. He'd pick on the other team if they even so do something wrong when playing. He was a bit of a bully, he even teased you at one point, nevertheless it didn't make you less in love with him then and now. You remember confessing at graduation, an impulse decision, a decision you accidentally made while your best friend nobu tried to ascertain your feeling for the 1/3 of your friend group. As an asshole does after shamelessly evesdropping on the conversation, kenji obnoxiously comes out and teases you right before he goes...

"Woah I didn't even know how obssessed with me you are! That's soooo crazy, like you. Well I can't leave you disappointed, Humour me. Let's start dating then!"

It even took you a minute or so to understood his bullshit way of just saying he liked you back.

Crawling into class with him, both of you take your seats behind aone's massive frame. You apologize to the frost giant, but your apology was rather piled up at this point.

With the time passing, and the passing of morning bread underneath the table, break time comes where you just apologize to aone for once again covering for the 2/3 of the group. When the free period gives you the time to finally get to your spot, you invite nobu and drag your complaining hazlenut boy there. Nobu sets up the cloths for you to sit on, kenji comes back with the drinks and from chatting with the girls from the other class, and set up the food with ease. When he comes over you smile at him reaching for your drink, "Who was that?" you question but more likely just asking for a question's sake. "Ah the girls were just asking about the next time. Shall we?" he drives the attention back to the food where you all say your prayers.

"Thank you for the food" kenji thanks. "Thank you for the food" You thank. "Thank you for the food" Nobu thanks. "Thank you for the food" Kogane thanks.

Wait kogane? "Oi! Get your own damn food!" The whining boy points to the newly arrived blonde. "But Y/N-chan's food is too good!" "Yeah, obviously, but Y/N's food is also my food so buzz off"

Despite futakuchi's protests, you hand the rice ball over to kogane. You bring out another for your partner to settle his steaming head. A couple of minutes of chatter and aone huffing about the train problem, you suddenly grow a craving for some curry.

"Kenji, curry for dinner later?" he glances over at you, thinks to himself and makes a note on his phone. "Shopping later, then?" almost asking you. With your nod, you two go back to the group's banter.

Curry was somewhat a special dish for both of you even if it didn't seem like much. You still remember both of your awkward demeanors as you met up for your first date. Gosh you both had no sense of fashion. You showed up in an awkward get up, but you would never forget the dumb shirt futakuchi wore to look cool. Sleeveless and all. Considering both of you were only first years back then, all you two could really afford was the family diner near his place. Both of you fidgeting, a cat catching your tongues even when the lady at the front desk was asking you where you two would like to sit. Your faces too hot and too evident of embarrassment to even face each other. It was funny how your fingers fumbled to reach for each other's hand under the table. You mispronounce his name a few times, and his stomach churned at the curry plus milkshake combo he had. Why did he ever think that was a cute idea?

You two seperately thought both of you would surely leave the other because of this. Strangely enough, this dumbass never let you go. Strangely enough, he never let this dumbass go too.

Your hands both linking like cogs, he rests his head on your lap along with kogane sleeping at your shoulder. Sometimes you thought that the blonde boy was just your adopted kid, he synced in with you and your bully-of-a-boyfriend quite nicely. Scrolling through his phone, nobu signs to you about the incoming summer festival plans. You three always going together since you were little. With the gentle giant even being the one to choose which flowers to put in your hair when your mother decorated it. Futakuchi being the one to decide what kind of games the three of you would go to. It was your favorite memory of them.

Yellow tinted stones, loud crowds and jingling of bells, an attention grabbing stall every once in a while. Oh how you loved your second year summer festival with all 3 of them. The same year you first started inviting your boyfriend to sleep over at your place. He hates to admit it but he knew you caught him studying how to dress you in a yakuta the few days before the event. If you hadn't fallen in love with him before that, you surely did afterwards. The day of the festival rolls with you and him even wearing matching clothes, a splash of wonderfully coordinating colours. Kogane was the only one wearing a more casual outfit really. With nobu tracking behind you, all of you climb up the hill nearby for the fireworks. Dazzling into their eyes. The picture of that night bore into your mind while you inform your bestfriend of the plans.

"We should get candied apples too! They're the best treat-" you were interupted by the sudden awakening of the two. "WHAT?! Noooo... Y/N-chan, takoyakis are the best!" "Now I know that's not true because you can't have a festival without the yakisoba..." kenji's annoyed voice ready to start a fight. As the two bicker, you glance over the sweet one agreeing with your sentiment of candied apples.

The bickering, and mundaness of the discussion had left you with a sense of contentment. Ever satisfied to be so young to simply argue over yakisoba and takoyaki. Ever so young to simply discuss curry and festivals. This was the epitomes of your youth. The ever radiant light of the sun always followed the young.

But the sun would not follow you for long. As the overzealous moon grabs one's attention, the same goes for such promiscuous women.

You squeez and stiffen at his collared jersey, a piece of clothing you had once adored and taken care of. Practically clawing out his clothing from the cabinet, you hear his please in the living space. "What the fuck is going on with you? Babe, tell me please" "You, that's whats fucking going on." Clothes and sentimentals being thrown at him from across the room. Your anger high comes down after a bit of screaming and throwing, with your knees giving up sitting you down. "What happened? Tell me..." His eyes were true and his voice was sincere. "I know you're fucking her." it was supposed to be a whisper but it had sounded in the room as a sharp hiss at him. His eyes widen and taking a few steps back he sighs deeply. "I-im...Im sorry..." 'Dont...just leave. Now."

Seeing his way out, his back on display before the creak of the door erases him. He hadn't explained or given you any room to ever doubt what he did. He simply gave up. You knew behind that broad back, he wanted to say something. He wanted to dispute every claim you maid but he had enough dignity to stand back when he needed to. And as that rusty bolted door closes, your highschool love, your youthful memory was simply a memory to look back on now.

#haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq x reade #hq dateko

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

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Okay, so my ask was about fanfics where either John or Sherlock hallucinates and sees the other one after him (allegedly?) dying. As in, actually hallucinates, not mistakes a real one for a hallucination. Have you encountered anything like that?

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: hi! i hope you're doing fine! i feel really bad for asking, but i really suck at searching, and as i see everyone asking you, i wanted to see if you could help me, if you dont want to, its fine, i feel like im taking adventage of you... im searching for fics post TRF in which John hallucinates with Sherlock, or fics in which Sherlock comes back but John cannot believe it because he hallucinated with him ... im sorry again for bothering you! hope you have a nice day

Hi Lovelies!!

Ahhh, I don’t have a LOT that have this premise, so I’m just going to give you all of the fics I have tagged with hallucinations :) I do suggest “The Quiet Man”, which has this as the primary plot point (down below) and it’s a long one so I think that will best suit you requests, but DO check out all of the others on this list! <3

And as always, Lovelies, if you have something more to what my Nonnies are looking for, please suggest them!

HALLUCINATIONS

Hallucinations can't open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose.

Quite Contrary by Hollyesque (T, 1,805 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Sherlock Whump / After Mary Shot Sherlock, Hallucinations / Flashbacks / PTSD, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Lestrade POV, ) – A short one-shot, alternate scene to Greg's hospital visit in HLV. Instead of Sherlock disappearing, Greg is faced with an unexpected reaction to a hospitalized Sherlock and winds up figuring out something that he really would have rather not known.

Bitter Nights Turned Sweet by Hyliare (T, 4,076 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Insomnia/Hallucinations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Present Tense John Watson, Cuddling/Snuggling) – Sherlock has always had trouble sleeping; he hasn't always had someone in his life willing to help.

Between Asleep and Awake by katydidit (K, 4,309 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sick Fic, Post-TRF / Reunion) – John is sick. Incredibly, extremely, dangerously sick. Plagued by a high fever, he begins to hallucinate, start seeing things that aren't really there. Because they can't be there. Can they?

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w., 15 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock's death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he's hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn't stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty's web, BAMF-style.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series (possibly Imaginary Friend)

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

The Quiet Man by ivyblossom (E, 157,369 w., 58 Ch. || Post-TRF, John First POV, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Present Tense, Imaginary Sherlock) – "Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #hallucinations #Anonymous

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robotslenderman · 4 years ago

Note

Ok, so I've played VTMNR a few times now, and I've noticed something which I think is interesting. Near the end of the book, if you've romanced Lettow and choose to fight the SI with him, you'll have the opportunity to kiss him in the hallway. If you decide to kiss him again, or just return to the room with him, there will be one retainer left. Depending on your relationship with Lettow, he'll act differently here. If your Lettow/Camarilla relationship is moderate (3 dots), he'll become cool and composed in front of the retainer. Additionally, he'll touch your wrist in a lingering way, which you realize he's doing in order to check your watch. If your Camarilla relationship is high (5 dots), the part about about him being "cool and collected, even in the presence of a single retainer he is the Eagle Prince" is not mentioned, and Lettow will touch your face instead. In my opinion, the nature of the relationship is more unclear in the 3dot interaction. Personally, I find that it feels more manipulative (though I'm probably not clever enough to explain why). With 5 dots, I follow him to Egypt everytime, but with 3 dots I still follow him. I'm just much more wary about how "happy" their relationship will be. Will he sacrifice my character to the Sabbat if needed? Who knows! Although, really, who's to say you're not being played by him the entire story, even with a full relationship meter.

Another variation I've noticed is during the confrontation with Donati when Lettow flutters up the steps, he will A) see you and force himself to stand, B) stand (because he's an elder), or C) rise to his hands and knees, but is too weak to get up more. I'm not sure what the trigger is for whichever action he takes (or if there are more variants of this), but my more moderate relationship characters got either scenario A or B, while my high relationship character got scenario C. When I played through it, I personally liked scenario C the best because to me, it feels like he trusts the main character enough that he's willing to afford a moment of weakness around them. Afterall, he's still able to attack Donati no matter if you get A, B, or C, so he's clearly not that close to the brink of death.

While I love Lettow and his romance, I'm pretty confused by it all. First of all, I don't really understand his character or ambitions too well. Despite how friendly and trusting he seems in the the first chapter (showing you Jasper's death? Why?), he's suspicious of the courier from the start (if you spy on Carlos in the parking garage, he'll reveal that Lettow thinks you might be an SI agent). And I don't think that suspicion ever goes away, it just evolves. He dismisses the idea that you're SI, but then he thinks you're allied with *potential diablerist* Julian (even if you aren't) then quickly seems to realize it's you (maybe by sensing her in your blood?). He continues to suspect you, until he seems to REALIZE realize that you diablerized Aila. Before the final confrontation between you, Julian, and Lettow, there's a moment where Lettow is reading his book and asks you in a tired, soft voice "I need to know why you--". He never gets to finish that thought, but I'm pretty sure he's asking why you killed her. However, after the warehouse meeting, Lettow decides to spare both you and Julian?? Because he's tired and lonely?? I dont get it, what's his agenda? Why spare them? From what I know, the traditions say that killing/diablerizing a fellow vampire is punishable by death, so isn't Lettow actively going against the Camarilla? I can kinda understand if he doesn't want to kill the player character, since he thinks Aila is in our veins, and he's potentially formed some sort of attachment to us (though I think at this point, Julian's formula has completely eradicated any traces of Aila from our blood, so surely Lettow can detect that?). However, I can't really understand why he spares Julian. Maybe he does it because the author wants to highlight that Lettow is a rare breed of kindred, one that's truly benevolent with a high humanity, but that's the only reason I can think of. Really, I'm just not sure what type of person Lettow is, or what his game is. Julian is clearly depicted as being pretty manipulative and as having these huge ambitions that he needs the courier to help him achieve, but I don't think that's true for Lettow. Asides from running packages, he doesn't really benefit from them (asides from the whole "maybe Aila's reincarnated" thing). So maybe he's manipulating the player at this super high level, but you know, maybe he's just actually a great, merciful person (except he did actually kill a ventrue in his court for having conspired to diablerize Invidia Caul. So what's up with that?)

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this monster of an ask, and please let me know what you think!

THANK YOU ANON FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL ASK.

TL;DR at the bottom!

If your Lettow/Camarilla relationship is moderate (3 dots), he'll become cool and composed in front of the retainer. Additionally, he'll touch your wrist in a lingering way, which you realize he's doing in order to check your watch. If your Camarilla relationship is high (5 dots), the part about about him being "cool and collected, even in the presence of a single retainer he is the Eagle Prince" is not mentioned, and Lettow will touch your face instead. In my opinion, the nature of the relationship is more unclear in the 3dot interaction.

Honestly, personally? I just write this off as him not trusting you nearly as well. "Lingering" suggests he *wants* to touch you, but the biggest giveaway is that he doesn't seem to have the need to check your watch at all in the five dot one (if I’m understanding you correctly). That tells me that with five dots, he just openly wants to touch you and isn't afraid to show it (aww), but with three dots he's a little more reluctant and is just *pretending* to check your watch.

He's got walls up in three dots he doesn't in five.

That's my exact same impression too -- there's trust with five dots that doesn't exist with three.

Despite how friendly and trusting he seems in the the first chapter (showing you Jasper's death? Why?), he's suspicious of the courier from the start (if you spy on Carlos in the parking garage, he'll reveal that Lettow thinks you might be an SI agent).

Okay I actually do have thoughts on this.This gets a little bit beside the point of your ask, so bear with me.

Regarding Jasper -- all I can say is, "Why NOT show you Jasper's death"? He doesn't have any reason NOT to show you. It doesn't make him vulnerable for you to know that Jasper is dead, or how he died. It doesn’t give the Courier any kind of edge against him. So Lettow has nothing to lose and everything to gain (your trust) by making you think you’re important enough that you get to watch the video.

Regarding Lettow thinking you're an SI agent -- I know this isn't the point of your ask but I do have thoughts on that, so please humour me for a moment before I go back to your point --

There's something very subtle in VTMNR that is never shown outright. It's very, very subtle but if you think about it, there's a really big reason why Lettow could think you're an SI agent despite being a vampire.

Think about it. Lettow himself points out that he's the only Prince that is as paranoid as he is about the SI, and yet Tucson is swarming with their agents. All the other Princes are emailing and texting and they're not dealing with the SI to nearly the degree Lettow has.

So what's the difference between Lettow and those Princes?

Lettow has an Autarkis in his Domain who's constantly blowing the Masquerade, that's why!

Who keeps calling you and speaking openly about being Kindred?

Julian.

Who keeps pinging the SI in his phone calls, forcing you to switch phones over and over?

Julian.

Who keeps loudly saying things like "WE CAN'T LET ANYONE KNOW WE'RE VAMPIRES" potentially in earshot of the SI, who you KNOW are watching you?

Julian.

Julian flaunts the Masquerade CONSTANTLY. And in doing so, he makes Lettow a target, because Lettow’s the guy in charge of the area!

So what has this got to do with Lettow thinking you're an agent of the SI? I have to admit, I can't quite connect the dots here, but I think it goes back to Julian once again. Julian's operating under his nose. Julian doesn't give a fuck about the Masquerade. Julian has links to you. I wouldn't be surprised if those factors, combined perhaps with stuff happening behind the scenes that the Courier never sees, is why Lettow at first believes you're an agent of the SI.

Basically -- Lettow sees Julian pulling shit, and at first thinks it’s because he’s part of the SI. Lettow sees you have connections to Julian (or perhaps the other way around) and thinks that because of that you have connections to the SI as well.

Later, Lettow does admit the idea is ridiculous, because he sarcastically tells Dove (paraphrased) “why yes, I’m sure that this vampire isn’t helping the vampire hunters.”

(I also believe that Julian is the one that actually SENT the video of Jasper's death to Lettow. I honestly can't think of any other explanation as to who it can be from. Obfuscate doesn't work with electronic devices, indicating the video has been doctored to hide Julian, and who would do that except Julian himself, especially since he tells us that he has video editing skills? Julian knew that Jasper was recording, but didn't wipe the video or take the camera to erase evidence of his crime. So who else but Julian sent that video?)

Anyway, moving on --

Before the final confrontation between you, Julian, and Lettow, there's a moment where Lettow is reading his book and asks you in a tired, soft voice "I need to know why you--". He never gets to finish that thought, but I'm pretty sure he's asking why you killed her. However, after the warehouse meeting, Lettow decides to spare both you and Julian?? Because he's tired and lonely?? I dont get it, what's his agenda? Why spare them?

My impression is that it was just that -- because he was tired and lonely.

At first he lets you live because his couriers are dropping like flies and he needs every one he can get. And as the story goes on, he gets tireder and tireder until he seems on the brink of succumbing to torpor himself. (Bitch is 200 years old and whining about how old he is even though he had an 800YO girlfriend!) At the end of the story, he's exhausted.

And he's also quite clearly severely depressed. And apathy is a strong symptom of depression.

So yeah. I think he spares both the courier and Julian simply because he's too tired and depressed to give a flying fuck any more. Aila's gone, killing the courier won't bring her back. What's the point in killing them? What's the point in killing Julian, when he demonstrates several times he thinks Julian is no threat? (He's wrong, but he clearly underestimates Julian -- he tells Julian that the Masquerade will survive Julian, and he tells Dove that Julian is "just an Anarch.")

I also think his feelings regarding Aila herself are complicated -- it must HURT to survive someone who died via what's essentially suicide. He knows Aila was suicidal. He must have complicated feelings regarding that -- feelings like he wasn't enough, feelings like maybe she didn't love him as much as he loved her.

So yeah. I think he was too tired and lonely and too devastated to care about enacting justice against either of them. I think he just wanted to put it behind him. Run away to the Middle East, let it go, put it behind him, never think about it again.

As for Lettow’s agenda itself?

I’m not going to say he can’t be manipulative. But I do believe he isn’t as manipulative as the other Princes, and that he sincerely does want to do better than they do.

The biggest evidence in support of this, if nothing else, is that Lettow is Gangrel. Gangrel, as a rule, don’t do political bullshit. They tend not to participate in the Jyhad. They tend to be loners, and they often don’t raise their own childer -- so they (often) lack a mentor/mentee relationship that other clans have, meaning that nobody was there to mentor them in ways to survive, let alone thrive, in political bullshit.

So that means Lettow would be drastically inexperienced in manipulation and bullshit outside of what he’d have seen as a mortal aristocrat, and would also probably be way less tolerant of political bullshit than other Kindred. He doesn’t have Dominate to help him. He doesn’t have Presence to help him. Just a magic bird, his own shapeshifting skills and what his friends can give him.

Remember that Lettow became Prince because there was literally nobody else available. He said so himself that he basically stepped into the job because there was nobody else -- he was the one that killed the old Prince (and in a rather extra way, no less) and there were no other Elders in the area.

Plus, by this stage, Aila was dead and he wanted to hunt down her murderers. Or, if I have my timelines incorrect, she was in torpor and therefore vulnerable and in need of protection.

What better way to do that than with the resources a Prince had at his disposal?

I don’t think it’s a complete coincidence that he stopped being a Prince on the same night that he finally confronted her killer.

TL;DR --

Lettow doesn't trust the Courier as much if their relationship with the Camarilla isn't great.

Lettow underestimates Julian, and doesn't think he's a threat at all, even though it's almost certainly Julian that drew the SI to Tucson like flies to honey.

By the end of the story, Lettow is deeply depressed, apathetic, and on the border of succumbing to torpor and ennui himself because of that, and so literally doesn't care enough any more about bringing Julian and the Courier to justice.

Unlike other Princes, Lettow is from a clan that typically is separate from all this political bullshit, has no social Disciplines, and had a motive to be Prince in that his lover was dead and he wanted to find her killer with any resources he could get to be at his disposal. So I truly believe that while he may feel the need to be manipulative from time to time, he truly did want just what was best for the Kindred around him.

#VTM #VTMNR #Lettow Kaminsky #meta #Aila the Banu Haqim #Anonymous

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mysticalrunawayprincess · 4 years ago

Text

Everything He Ever Wanted

Hi Guys! This is a new Jay Park fanfic I’m working on (because we are in a serious shortage and us girls need our fantasy fix!) Its about Jay falling in love and wanting to settle down, and all the headache and heartache that ensues (cue lots of angst, sexy times and love :P). I post the stories on Wattpad as I’m not sure if I’d be able to post the full story on here (Tumblr guidelines and stuff) but I am going to be posting the first chapter here and then every time I publish a new chapter I’ll post the links for you to read. The story is for 18ANDOVER! If you are not 18 this story isn’t for you (sorry). And Jay if you are reading this: its pure fantastical fiction! I don’t mean to embarrass or cast aspersions on you in any kind of way. If you are reading this (PLEASE dont lol), I hope I did your fantasy character justice :P. For the rest of you, happy reading!

Oh BTW: New Chapters every Friday, but you get this one a day early just because I love y’all!!! xxxxxxxxxx

1. Home Is Where The Heart was

An exhausted sigh left Jay's lips in a rush, as he entered through the open door and dropped his bags on the heated marble flooring.

Having been away on tour for 6 weeks Jay had a lot of bags to carry; all heavy, all full of laundry.

He paused and took a breath in, savouring the smell of home, the smell of Her.

She hadn't been home in a long time. This was no longer to be Her home; hell it hadn't even been Her "home" for longer than a few weeks, most of which she had spent elsewhere (or rather somewhere else). But since She had been the last person in the house before Jay had left for the tour, Her scent still lingered. And it was this scent that invaded Jay's senses, coiling around his synapses and holding them at ransom as his mind cast back to the last moment he saw Her.

Jay stood watching Her leave through the polished glass doors of his office building, Her words still ringing in his ears like a death knell, "We can't do this any more Jay, I have to go back and live my life..." She took a pause here, her perfectly soft and plump lips quivering momentarily, almost as if to hold Her back from completing the sentence,"... and you have to live yours."

Now the thing is, when Jay first saw Her walk through the doors; Her soft hair in which he loved to bury his face now framing Her face in a twist-out that beautifully rippled in the light breeze of the evening night air as She stepped through the glass door, his heart had soared and swooped the same way it did every day since the very first day he had seen Her.

His face broke into an unstoppable smile as he outstretched his arms to embrace Her, automatically breathing in Her scent as She stepped into his embrace, clinging to him as though She would be otherwise flung into the furthest reaches of space.

Jay hadn't noticed the shine of unshed tears demanding to be released. He hadn't noticed the taxi outside, and he certainly didn't know that it was taking Her to the airport.

He was oh-so blissfully unaware of all of these little details.

She had been going back and forth with this for weeks, months even, ever since their relationship had first begun showing signs of becoming more serious (unbeknownst to Jay). And try as She might, She knew this couldn't work; there were too many moving parts, too many things to consider and too many sacrifices to be made. She thought it best that She end this now before it got too serious and whilst they were still able to at least salvage some sort of friendship from the wreckage.

Noticing She was lost in thought, Jay nudged Her, asking if She were OK.

Now on the way over here, She had already told herself that She wasn't going to cry and do the whole melodramatic stuff; that She was going to keep it light and factual and hoped he would understand.

And so when She quickly lifted Her head to meet his eye, Her face had already settled into a bright and easy smile, belying the ton of bricks that She was about to drop onto the smitten and unsuspecting Jay Park.

Now, as he watched Her leave after begging Her to reconsider ("... you don't have to do this..."). His heart beat harder with every step She took to the waiting cab outside. He was frozen helpless, unable to stop this series of Very Unfortunate and Fucked Up Events.

He watched the taxi drive away, taking with it the only piece of true happiness that he had ever felt in a long, long time.

And he had let it happen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The vibration of Jay's phone broke him out of his reverie with a snap. He thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled it out, glancing at the screen as he made his way to the kitchen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

He paused with his hand on the handle of the refrigerator, his thumb hovering indecisively over the phone screen.

BZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

He rolled his eyes and pressed the green button, putting the phone to his ear at the same time as he pulled open the refrigerator door.

"Heeeeeyyyyyy bro, whatcha doin'?" the gravelly voice of Jay's business partner Mike came through the phone as vivid as if he were standing in the room, rather than 5,000 miles away.

"Hey, Mike" Jay chuckled. "Not much, just got back."

"How was the tour?"

"Yeah it was good. The guys killed as usual," said Jay, into an empty fridge.

"Did you get any numbers?" Jay could practically hear the Cheshire Cat smile on Mike's face as he asked this question.

He sighed as he closed the refrigerator door and made his way to the living room. "No I didn't get any numbers Mike" Jay said, plopping down dejectedly onto his plush sofa, allowing his head to fall back, eyes staring straight at the ceiling.

"Jay, you are really wasting your unlimited pussy allowance, man!" groaned Mike. Jay chuckled in response, closing his eyes and wearily raising a hand to rub them. "Dude you should be literally DROWNING in pussy!"

"I'm too busy for all that extra shit, Mike." Jay sighed.

"Extra shit? Dude." Mike was all seriousness now, leaving a pause so pregnant that it caused Jay to sit up and open his eyes. "You are never, too tired, for pussy!" Jay fell back into his original position, another exhausted sigh leaving his lips as he landed except this time, he had a little smile on his face.

Mike's dry humour was a welcome salve right now anyway.

"Plus, Jay; I'm married."

"I know Mike."

"So that means I'm living vicariously through you, my dude!"

"Mike-"

"Look, forget about all that anyway" Mike interrupted Jay, sensing he was not perhaps his usual playful self and wondering if he had perhaps struck a nerve.

Mike was quite intuitive, even if he sometimes came off as oblivious. In his world, he found that feigning ignorance can sometimes be a better strategy around people, especially when dealing with the types of sensitive and high-flying businessmen he was used to dealing with on a daily basis.

Or when his friend had something - or someone - on his mind that may need to be discussed away over copious amounts of alcohol sometime in the near-future.

"Remember you have the interview with Vogue Korea about the new AOMG site and app," said Mike making a mental note to revisit this again at a later time.

"Yeah" sighed Jay gratefully, thankful for the change in subject. "When is it again?"

"Friday. 9.30AM"

Jay pulled his phone away from his ear and checked the screen. The interview would be in three days time.

"Cool, my assistant already has the details anyway. I'll check my emails to see when the car will be arriving."

"Sweet. Hit me up later, so we can talk a bit about the Nike deal. But until then; GET SOME SLEEP."

Click

Mike ended the call.

Jay allowed the phone to slide from his ear onto the sofa next to him, bringing both hands up to gently rub his face before dropping his head back and allowing his arms to drop onto the sofa back. The huge floor to ceiling windows directly opposite bathed him in the light of the setting sun, as he allowed his exhausted and aching body to sink deeper into his seat.

As his mind drifted, he remembered a particular evening spent on this same sofa during a thunderstorm not too long after he had first met Her. In fact, there were many evenings he remembered being spent on this sofa (not all of them as innocent as the particular evening he currently had in mind however, but all of them just as enjoyable).

Sharing one of those huge soft furry blankets that She loved so much, with a low fire burning in the marble wood-burning fireplace to the right of them.

She had been drinking Jack Daniel's, and he had been drinking soju, both just talking to and laughing with each other in an atmosphere of comfortability, while outside torrential rain pounded against the monolithic windows and brilliant forks of lightening spilt the charcoal grey and roiling sky, causing occasional rolls of thunder which reverberated throughout the building.

The dichotomy of the chaos on one side of the window pane, versus the serenity on the other hadn't been lost on either of them.

Every now again She would interrupt the freely-flowing conversation to point out a particularly spectacular lightning strike or a close roll of thunder would make Jay jump, which he would then try to disguise by acting as though he was just moving positions on the couch or picking up/putting down his glass (which She very politely acted like She did not notice, or turned away to hide Her smile - which he had gratefully appreciated).

Her being in Jay's house had been perfectly innocent at the time, having being introduced through his artist Jarv Dee, Jay had innately felt at ease around Her. She had an easy-going and relaxed nature, with a quick wit and genuine smile. He became further intrigued when he found out that She was a full-stack developer and promptly discussed possibly working together on something some time. Which is how the new AMOG website and H1gher app came about.8

That was exactly one year ago from today and 5 months from the day She ripped out Jay's heart and stomped all over it.

"We can't do this Jay..."

Her words echoed around his head like a death knell.

Jay had spent every waking moment carefully analysing every detail of their interactions - every facial expression, every vocal inflection - in the hopes of being able to at least understand WHY She had done this.

Did he say something - do something - to scare her off?

How, when things were going so good between them, could she just end everything and leave so suddenly?

Jay was aware that he was getting older but, he hadn't really ever thought of what the future would look like for him and who he would want to settle down with. The kind of jet-setting lifestyle Jay led meant he had the luxury of being able to avoid thinking about such things under the guise of being "too busy". And with the fast life Jay led, the women he came across had been just as fast.

That is until he had met Her.

Meeting Her had made him truly question his life dynamic, made him want to change his dynamic.

Made him think about when would be the time to put down the mic for good and step back to make way for the younger artists coming up behind him?

Jay had almost single-handedly built an entire musical empire in a foreign land, which meant he really had to think about who it was he wanted to share that with.

A thought he had never needed to have before Her.

She had awakened something in him that he had been confident was dormant, something which he had convinced his concerned parents and nagging brother he wasn't quite ready for.

She made him think more of the life after. After all the parties, interviews, world travelling, and screaming fans.

Of the life he lived when he was just Jay, the dorky kid from Seattle.

Who did he want to come home to? Who did he want waiting for him when the lights had faded and the music stopped?

The morning after the lightening storm had been the first time Jay had woken up to Her. They had fallen asleep where they sat in Jay's plush sofa, having spent the evening bonding over their respective careers, old 90s RnB and alcohol. Seeing her head resting upon the opposite armrest of his sofa, the golden rays of the early morning sun illuminating the golden undertones of Her skin, made something inside him sing. He knew he liked having Her around, liked hearing Her voice, liked knowing she was OK.

He loved being in her presence, hearing Her laugh, seeing Her focused frown whilst She was working.

He loved smelling Her, breathing Her in whenever he could.

He loved hearing Her footsteps on his hardwood floor.

He hated not knowing why it went wrong.

But in just a few days the H1gher app and new AOMG website was due to go live, meaning She would be coming back to Korea for the launch.

Meaning She and Jay would be in each other's company for the first time since Her departure.

Meaning Jay would not only have to face Her, but once She left he'd have to relive the pain of her leaving all over again.

Jay groaned inwardly.

This should be fun, he thought humourlessly.

Jay reached for his phone beside him and dialled an all too familiar number.

"Hello?" Came the answer down the line.

"Hey, is she free?"

"Good evening, Mr Park. Yes she is free. Regular timing?"

Jay let out a barely audible sigh, his 1000th in the 45 minutes he'd been home. He wouldn't need too long. "Yeah."

"She will arrive in 30 minutes."

Jay ended the call.

He stood and made his way to his drinks cabinet, pouring himself some Hennessey before walking over to the window to take a sip, surveying the evening sky and awaiting his visitor.

The objective of the visit was purely for the purposes of release.

And as Jay's buzzer rang twenty-five minutes later, he knew that's all anyone who wasn't Her could offer him.

#jay park #jaypark #aomg #fanfic #angst #emotional #rapper queen #romance #relationship #series daddyvibes

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dvk2 · 4 years ago

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What are your top 5 recs for Bakudeku fics?

okay first of all anon fucking kiss me rn ive been wanting to do some bakudeku fic recs for FUCKING AGES lets have sex

second of all sorry if this is late my phone doesnt like giving me notifs for asks ://

alriiight onto the fic recs idk if u wanted it to b ranked but these will just b in very vague order. also these recs will all be fairly popular fics so sorry if you’ve already read em.

first would be bluebird by etherealbeing. it was the first bakudeku longfic i ever read n im still biased towards it to this day. i love it so much, it’s a wrong number au and the humour is exactly what i love, great emotional parts too, i absolutely adore it. good if you want something fairly lighthearted

secondly theres the way you used to do by edema_ruh. one of the longest bakudeku fics so far at 570,000 words with a sequel in the works to boot. it might seem a bit much (because it is) but imo it’s well worth the length. deku turns into a ghost that only kacchan can see (edit: not permanently dont worry) and lots of angst ensues. it’s the slowest slow burn ive ever read, so if you’re impatient with romance it might frustrate you a bit, but i looooove slow burn so i adored this one. development was wonderful, katsuki’s growth was painstakingly real, just phenomenal all around. please try to give it a shot even if the word count is daunting.

theres also the absolute truth by glon_morski its been a while since i read this one so i don’t remember much, basically katsuki is kidnapped by villains and forcibly made to admit the horrible things he did and said to deku as a child. big on the guilt thing so its good if u like that, however please bear in mind that it is sort of unrequited love so if you need a conclusive getting-together in a fic in order to feel satisfied then skip this one bc they do not do that in this. very angsty please heed the tags for this one (and the above one too tbh)

2645 miles by mynameis152 i was a bit iffy on at first, the age difference kinda put me off even if it wasnt that much and i didnt like how they fell in love basically in the space of a few days (i like bakudeku for the ten years of slow burn alright) but honestly this fic was just great. its a roadtrip au with a heavy dose of Action and darkish themes (because katsuki and eijirou r kinda on the run from the police lmao) and it doesnt rly play to bakudekus canon strengths as a ship since its such a different au but its just a great story nonetheless.

ending on a lighthearted one theres what’s your type by sapphicflower! pro heroes kacchan and deku go on a gameshow for hero partners to see how well they know each other, thats the main premise, and it ends in the lovely sappy romantic realisations and its ur typical idiots to lovers its classic pro hero bakudeku its Theyve Been In Love Forever And Only Just Realised, Your Honour. i loved it, hopefully you will too.

and thats five! you didnt really give any specific parameters so i just thought of some favourites off the top of my head! if u ever wanna talk about bakudeku u can shoot me a dm or send more asks im always happy to talk about them!!

#also if u just wanted the links n didnt want me harping on abt each one im sorry jvhvj #ask

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wakandascrystal · 5 years ago

Text

ᴅᴇꜱᴛɪɴʏ ᴇʀɪᴋ x ʙʟᴀᴄᴋʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

a/n : i wrote this at 3 am, please ignore any errors, will fix up later

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You really did not want to be here.

The air was cold and you were hangry and the girls you were with were so focused on taking pictures they didn't even noticed you had turned your back on them. You didn't feel comfortable in the black and white one piece Miny had put you in. You wanted the mini dress you had packed that would cover your stretch marks and other problem areas but she bullied you out of it. Okay bully is a strong word. Miny just wished you had more confidence in yourself.

But that confidence was not going to start in the middle of the Puerto Rico with a tight one piece on. You didn't know the other 3 girls they were Miny’s friends and you didn't hit it of with them the whole 5 days and 4 nights. They didn't get your humour or hospitality. You didn't like how frequent they commented on your dark skin like it was some kind of disorder you had and that you are so brave to be living your life with it and it seemed like Miny was more their friend on this trip then yours. She only showed you love when you were just about to to leave. They were loud, obnoxious and self centered. You quickly learned that but there were 2 days and 1 night left. You were going to stomach it and try to enjoy yourself.

“Okay that's it. I'm going to eat. Im starving.“ you got up and pulled the bunched up material out of your ass.

“What are you talking about. we still taking pic for the gram....anyways you're the one who keeps complained about being fat“ Tiff said while she carried on posing

Your heart dropped

“I know... it's just that its been 6 hours. If i dont eat something i'll faint. just carry on i'll be back.”

You wrap yourself around with your towel you were ripped from before the photoshoot situation.

You left the rented yacht with your wallet and ordered some fish and chips. Sat on the balcony and ate were the girls wouldn't see you.

You were 24 years old and it still felt like high school. Made to feel different and odd. You wanted to leave and go home to your warm bed and your book and read up on african legends and how they used to rule the African plains. You were intrested in weird things and you didn't really fit in. You wanted to see your real friends who didn't judge you and throw your insecurities in you face every 5 seconds but that wasn't going to happen tonight.

“Y/N come bitch we're going to the club the one down the road. Get your black ass here. We need to get changed.“ You sighed lifting yourself of the bench and throwing away your trash away.

Back at the hotel you decided on a red sparkly dress but when you left your room to fix your hair in the bathroom Tiff was wearing the same one.

“Is that what you're wearing“ Cam asked sarcastically

“Shut your ass up... if that's what she wants leave her“ Miny defended you.

“Nah its just that ...you know Tiff wore it first. Thats all im saying “ Cam carried on fixing her braids

“What's the problem. It will be like yall twins or someshit.“

“Dont fuck with me Miny I look nothing like her.“

You bit your lip. It was a coping mechanism. if you felt a greater pain then the words wouldn't hurt.

“I'll change. Its okay.“

You left the crowded bathroom for your bedroom and practically ripped the dress off. You took a deep breath and you changed into a off shoulder black bodycon. You looked good but you didn't feel good. You paired it up with your black Fila’s. You did a light beat and a strong liner and lashed up and waited for the girls to finished. You were a bit over walmed when they joined you. They looked good. even you could admit that. You didn't bling yourself up like that. You looked simple. maybe even basic compared to them

At the club no one had gotten the memo that it was not a regular club club. It was a latin dance club. Like real Latin. Like out of a movie. People were dancing like it was strictly come dancing. The samba and the chacha, you name it. It was hot, so were the boy. The idea of getting drunk and going home with someone sounded amazing. You needed an outlet for the pent up frustration in your chest. But it seemed like no one was checking for you at the moment so maybe to get drunk first. You went to the bar and bought yourself a drink and a couple more. the girls joined you after they had danced a few times with some guys. You thought about asking a guy to dances with you but you didn't want to stoop to that level. That would have been to sad and rejection isn't something you're good at recovering from. So you drank some more.

“That was crazy. He almost swang my ass up into the roof“ Cam laughed while she tried to calm down

“I saw girl you almost died but i thought i was coming to throw my ass in a circle to some city girl but i like this too? Y/N you good? You been drinking since we been here“

“Oh me i'm okay I dont do well with heights.“ Miny laughed at your joke while the other 3 were confused.

“What the hell does height have to do with you being a bore?“

“She said that the guy almost through he into the roof and i'm afraid of heights. It was a joke Tiff. “

You shake your head and zoned out when they carried on talking amongst themselves. With your black straw in your mouth your eyes wounded around the bar area. Your eyes meet with a guy, you looked away. He was sitting about 4 stools away from you leaning back . You looked again and this time he smiled and you smiled back. He was handsome. 10000% out of your league but his smile was warm and cute. He had dreads and a tropical shirt on but most importantly he had dimples. Your one weakness. He nodded at you twice and you already knew the drill it wouldn't be the first time.

You turned to the Tiff who was next to you and tapped her shoulder.

“I think that guy is calling you?” You took a big sip from your straw again

“Which guy?“ she asked

“The one down the line.“ You specified.

You could see how big her eyes went when she realized who you were talking about. You saw how she flirted with her eyes and pushed her braids back with a big smile.

You wish you had that in you.

“They got nigga’s like this here ..let me go talk to zaddy”

She left the girls in pursuit of melanin, they spoke for a bit and you stole glances at them. If you couldn't get the guy at least you could live vicariously through the girls who would.

He's acting too cool. look at him not even smiling at her. How can you smile at me and not the girl you want. Fuck boys. they are everywhere. Girls like nice guys as well. oh my drink is almost finished. oh yes focus the handsome guy. oh wait she's coming back. she looks mad why?

“You must a blind bitch cause he was calling you“ She said through her teeth

“What do you mean. Why would he call me?“

“I was asking myself the same question? He didn't even give me the time of day? Did you take something of his?“

“No I was here the this whole time.“

“Well you must h-“ she stopped talking for a second then started panicking “oh shit he's coming here act natural ladies “

“Beautiful you gonna just ignored me and send you lil friend“ You blinked at him making sure you aren't dreaming.

“You still ignoring me baby girl.“ He cocked his head to the side

You were confused by the warm feeling in your chest and stomach.

“You can't call me Baby girl. i dont even know you...“ You shouted out the first thing on your mind. All 4 girls face palmed themselves

“Its cool. I get it Ma. Im Erik Steven and you are?“

“You want to know my name? Why?“ This had never happened to erik before. if he asked for a name he got it and most times even more.

“Why dont I we dance for a bit and maybe i'll tell you why?“ He extends his arm that was filled of what seemed like tribal markings. That fascinated you. You ran your hands over some that showed out his shirt but he didn't move his arm away.

“You like them Princess?”

“They are so....I study Ancient and Tribal African Studies and some tribes they .......they value a man who has these types of markings. Sort of like the more you have them the higher your ranking is in society. I've never seen anything like this before .Who are you Erik?”

Erik expected you to blush over them to seem edgy but he wasn't expect that type of analysis and that made him more intrested in you as well.

#Erik Killmonger #erik x reader #erik xreader #Erik #killmonger #killmonger fanfiction #black panther killmonger #black panther

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ejruler · 5 years ago

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Why ‘Blink’ works and ‘Love and Monsters’ doesn’t

both episodes have a number of similarities, so let’s look at them first:

neither episode has the doctor as the main character

it looks at the doctor from an outsiders perspective

they introduce new villains, and so lack a sense of familiarity

so why does one work and the other not?

writers

well, first of all L&M was written by Peter Kay - a comedian, and not a well established Doctor Who writer. But just because he doesn’t have experience writing Doctor Who, that doesn’t mean it’ll automatically be terrible. There are plenty of writers who have written one episode of doctor who and the episode has been really good.

Blink was written by Stephen Moffat. A well-established doctor who writer who took over the reigns from Russel T. Davies when Matt Smith became the doctor, so obviously he knows what he’s doing when it comes to writing doctor who. his story introduces a new villain, which goes on to become a massive favourite of the whovian community. so i’d say moffat has a tiny advantage here.

villains

L&M introduces a new villain... the absorbaloff?? what can i say? it’s just... forgettable. it never returns, but probably because it’s just stupid. it’s not clever, it doesn’t have some dramatic master plan, it just absorbs people. it’s not a very likeable villain that people want to see again. it probably just stems from peter kays ego, to be fair. he’s introduced as a mysterious figure, with authority, so people just automatically obey him, and if they go against him... he absorbs them. it just sounds weird explaining. logically, he shouldn’t have been such a big character in the episode at all. the only decent part to come out of that villain was the ‘Clom’ joke. (some people might think it’s stupid but it did make me laugh, my humour is easily pleased)

however.. the weeping angels. what a genius villain. it’s new, it’s creepy and it gives the sense that they could be ANYWHERE. any statue can be a weeping angel. but you don’t know unless you look away. just don’t blink. also the ‘dont blink’ phrase is highly memorable. also they’re so different from any other villain the doctor has faced before - for starters, they’re not trying to kill you. they just send you to a random point in time and feed off your potential energy. ‘the only aliens in the universe to kill you nicely’ as the doctor says. this part may be very biased, as the weeping angels are personally my favourite dr who villain, but there’s good reason for that and that reason is this episode.

story

now, the L&M story is.. believeable. the doctor is sure to be noticed at some point, so the people band together to find out about him, but they realise they don’t care too much and it just becomes a meet-up for friends. that is until this evil dude (peter kay) comes along and drives them back into finding out about the doctor. but the thing is, you don’t become emotionally invested in the characters like you do in other episodes. and for an episode all about fans of the doctor, all you see of him is some comedic chase with him and rose running after some alien. yes the doctor has a silly side, but maybe show something more.. dramatic? and the love story between the main guy and that girl (i don’t even care enough to look up their names) is just awkward. it’s so clear he has a crush on her and you can see it coming, but then she becomes a slab of concrete but they ‘make it work’. i feel like it’ll be more emotional if he let her go, rather than date a pavement slab. just what? also i don’t even want to talk about his CREEPY ASS stalking of jackie. isn’t he supposed to be likeable and/or relatable?

however. blink builds up slowly. sally is likeable, daring, funny - the exact kind of person who would make a great companion to the doctor. you’re immediately introduced to a love story between her and billy but then almost immediately flipped on your head as he dies a moment later. it leaves confusion and slowly reveals how these angels work. sally understands and the same speed as the viewer. also the doctor has been popping up occasionally as easter eggs throughout the episode, which indicates he’ll be important later. also occasionally, you get a glimpse into what the doctor is up to - giving the viewers a sense of familiarity, comforting them essentially. turns out he’s there to help and explain, so once the doctor has his longest conversation everything falls into place. his video ends on a cliffhanger, leaving sally and larry in danger and to fend for themselves. you’re left on the edge of your seat wondering how they’ll get out of it. and when they do, it’s relieving - because you care about these characters. and then you flash forward, sally works at the dvd shop now, and she’s together with larry. an obvious pairing that’s not forced and heavily foreshadowed over the episode, it makes sense.

so, in conclusion - blink is a masterpiece of a doctor who episode and L&M is.. utter crap. the end.

(also i’m not an expert on this sort of thing, this is just my observations)

#doctor who #blink #love and monsters #love & monsters #dont blink #abzorbaloff #the doctor #david tennant #billie piper #rose tyler #sally sparrow #martha jones #freema agyeman #peter kay #stephen moffat

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e-luxion · 5 years ago

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Why I think Johnny Suh’s Rising is...

Scorpio.

I don’t know why I had the need to make a whole damn post about it but I am cos I feel strongly about it, and I welcome people to come argue with me about this. ok that sounded semi-threatening, it wasn’t I promise. Please do interact and share your opinions, I love to hear them!! This is a completely useless post but here you go. Also, I didn’t go in too much depth in some placement and kind of kept things a bit superficial and did not talk about every single placement that he would have.

First of all,

the way he just looks makes me nervous. That’s all.

Let’s look at the basics of having a Scorpio Ascendant:

The most prominent thing about Scorpio risings are their eyes.

They are usually piercing, intense and it stands out. Another thing that is common with Scorpio Risings is having “bedroom eyes” and/or “tired looking eyes”*

Sharp looking profile. I am not going to talk too much about actual physical appearance of risings cos I think it is more complicated than that, like there is a lot that goes into it. But i can make a post about it if requested ;)

Even if the person is outgoing, they are very observant and really good at “reading the room”, and just picking up emotions

Scorpio Risings are the mfs who just stare at people, they make intense eye contact for like no reason (whether is conscious or unconscious it depends on the person but in Johnny’s case, he 100% does it on purpose, does no one else remember that time he said he makes direct eye contact with people on purpose to make them nervous/uncomfortable??? (that's peak Scorpio AC culture right there)

Very strong-willed individuals who can overcome a lot of hardship

Values privacy a lot and absolute kings of keeping secrets

Scorpio Risings also have a magic way of making everyone open up their secrets to them. You probably won’t even realise, they just have that vibe that makes you open up

s a r c a s t i c

it does not matter who you are, what you are, what you’re into. Everyone is attracted to Scorpio Risings and you want to f**k them. I don’t make the rules, we just have that power. You can hate them or love them but you cannot help but be attracted to them.

also fun fact for y’all, most celebrities have fixed sign risings (Taurus, Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius)

*reminds me of this one thing I saw on twitter once about how he hated when people asked him if he was tired when he wasn’t because he has a natural “sleepy” look or something along those lines

Now onto the fun part, looking at how his chart would look like if he had a Scorpio AC and why it somehow makes sense:

Leo Midheaven: For those of you who might get Leo vibes from Johnny, this might be why. The Midheaven is your “public persona”, the person your co-workers see and strangers see in public/work settings, and well Johnny’s job is being an idol so that is why he might act more like his Midheaven at first glance, and with his Mars also being in Leo, I believe it only heightens this. So Leo Midheaven is a midheaven that you’ll often find amongst performers/entertainers/singers/actors because people with this placement tend to be insanely charismatic, charming, creative and natural leaders. They also come across super confident, in their place of work they are loud and full of pride, you’ll just notice them no matter what. Naturally, they have a talent to inspire others, and sort of have a regal quality to them. The only thing bigger than their ego is their heart (very kind people), but it is their ego that helps them get far ahead in life, they’re also very ambtious and because they are so ambitious, they only aim for the best of the best (i.e. being famous). Great at storytelling, presenting, acting and possess an insanely creative mind, at the end of the day they just want to be seen. Seriously, Leo MCs seem to be those people that were just born to shine, they stand out wherever they go.

Sagittarius on the 2nd house cusp: Lucky with finances and doesn’t worry much about money or their belongs (not @ Johnny throwing his fucking iPhone like it costs $5), even if you grew up poor (which he obviously didn't, he is a middle-class suburb lil bitch and it shows) you don’t worry too much about money. For some people, it seems like you spend your money a bit recklessly and just buy shit, and like to spend your money on experiences and travelling. Fun fact, I also have this placement I can confirm all of these are FACTS and I- mmm i dont want to talk about my spending habits cos yikes :)

Pisces on the 5th house cusp: Two words: hopeless romantics. To the point where it’s slightly unrealistic, but that’s a different story. They really want the whole fairytale, the glass slipper and the spotting someone in a crowd and falling madly in love kind of thing. But also they express their love in a selfless, unconditional way, these are the kinds of people who love blindly and accept all your flaws. Can be very sentimental.

Cancer on the 9th house cusp: With this placement others have an affinity for you as an authority figure who has a strong nurturing or protective feel, very supporting and encouraging. It can be an indicator for moving away from the place where you grew up and finding comfort in foreign places. People with this placement also find it easier to adapt to different cultures.

Virgo on the 11th house cusp: The helpful friend, looks out for everyone, they will always be there for you and great at giving advice. The type that remembers the little things, truly the parent friend cos they look out for you and the kind of person you usually love spending time with and make plans with. Actually only has a few *close* friends.

Sun in the 3rd: People with this placement are usually known for their intelligence and way with words. Sun in the 3rd house people hate to be bored and are always willing to try new things and experience new things (they also adapt very well to any situation), they’re also pretty light-hearted with a great sense of humor and can be mischievous. It also really balances the fixedness of his Aquarius sun. With the 3rd house of communication falling in the Sun, it gives the person a lot of confidence in their speech and pride in their communication skills. It is also said that people with this placement travel/move around a lot. Friendship, and again communication, is very important to them, they make friends easily and have a way of relating to others, also very open-minded.

Moon in the 7th: This is definitely a people-oriented kind of placement, their emotional security is achieved through others, they have a strong need to be around people. (some astrologers also say that these people are the kind to always be in a relationship of some kind, it doesn’t necessarily mean an official “relationship” but A relationship, be it platonic, romantic/committed or literally just casual dating but they need to be with someone because they hate to be alone = feel unstable without someone) These are also the kind of people who fulfill their emotional needs per se through others, so by making others happy.

Mercury in the 3rd: This is honestly such a perfect placement for Mercury, since it falls in its natural ruling house so the planet feels comfortable with this, especially being in an air sign (Aquarius). One of things that Johnny is known for is his “communication” skills, hence why he has a whole YT series: JCC or Johnny’s Communication Centre so this placement is the one that makes the most sense. Mercury in the 3rd house just boosts everything that Mercury represents, it might make someone have a short attention span or get bored easily but they pick up on things very easily, they are very good at multi-tasking and have a very active mind. They are usually the type that know a bit of everything, always have fun facts for you and can have a conversation in literally any topic with anyone, somehow know everyone and are friends with everyone, natural charmers. They LOVE to talk and talk a lot, they excel at any form of communication or writing, this reminds me of two things: (1) The translator at the Mexico concert said that Johnny asks a lot of questions, is very curious and excited to learn (spanish) and also talks A LOT. (2) I heard somewhere that Johnny was in a debating club in school. To sum up Mercury in the 3rd, are great at talking, communication comes easy to them and are huge social butterflies, a good sense of humour, very curious like a child and also like books. boom, jOhnny.

Also to expand on this communication talk: He’d also have Capricorn in the 3rd house, which usually makes someone careful, these are the kind of people that think before they talk and unless they know what they are talking about, they shut tf up. Their voice can sound quite intimidating and authoritarian, but there is something comforting about it. Also tends to make someone very sarcastic, their humor is a bit dry, very dead-pan, the type to make jokes with a serious face and expect you to get it? Also tOO mANy dad jokes.

Venus in the 2nd: Another Mr. Romantic placement that just fits Johnny way more than I want to admit. People with this placement are big old-timey romantic, they don’t fall in love easily but when they do they do fall hard and are completely head over heels, even if they don’t “fall in love easily” they secretly just want to be in love. They live for the pleasure, the romance and the beauty of it all. The type to send you a 100 roses with a card saying “to my one and only, from your one and only”, or buy you a huge teddy bear that smells like him, do the whole wine & dine you, picnic at a park and then take photos of you. It really isn’t about the huge romantic gestures, rather the small and cute ones, it’s about making memories and creating mementos, but also about the cheesy yet classy romance. They can also be super touchy, very physical. Another thing about them is that they really like to buy people stuff, and shower people with material things, it’s (one of) their love languages I guess. I can’t remember right but I am pretty sure I heard somewhere Johnny always buys members shit, like he just buys them stuff all the time.

Mars in the 9th: I said I wasn’t going to talk too much about appearance here, but more energy/vibe instead but I can tell you this much, legend goes that people with Mars in the 9th either have a thing for thighs or have t h i c c thighs* or both so.... Very experimental people, lighthearted yet passionate, really turned on by languages and laughter/smiling. This is the kind of person that will debate anything to do with beliefs, and if you question their beliefs they’ll be like “:) :) :) ok cool ur opinion is valid, everyone has their own opinion :) :) :) except urs sucks :)” you know they secretly love intellectual fights, cos they’re opinionated as hell and have strong opinions, they’re super straight-forward and open-minded (regardless of the fact that they have very strong opinions) and are always willing to learn. Not the best at sugar coating things, kind of blunt whilst still remaining kind and humorous. But since his Mars is in Retrograde, the more aggressive sides of his mars will be very internalized. But their desire in life is to spread joy and laughter, they are very good at making others laugh and being playful. Fun fact: people with this placement tend to move is a very bouncy kind of way, very clumsy. Another fun fact: I heard once that people with this placement may or may not have a teacher kink, and a sex abroad/while traveling kink, also having sex outside.

*skip to 5:26

Jupiter in the 1st: First of all, I have seen a few Nctzen-astrologers type Johnny as a Sagittarius rising and this would be my explanation for that. Having Jupiter in the 1st will give you similar features and energy as a Sagittarius rising, people with this placement tend to have a larger than life presence, your presence is felt before you even walk into a room. Planets in the 1st house kind of go in pair with your rising (because well, it falls on that house duh) so it has a huge influence on how you carry yourself, how you present yourself at first sight, the kind of vibe that you give off and with Jupiter falling on your first house you just exude this optimism, enthusiasm and honestly? Just happiness and positivity. Also people with this placement tend to have big smiles and a large bone structure, Jupiter is the planet of expansion so it makes “bigger” everything that it touches so in the first house it will make your physical features “bigger”: big smiles, soft cheeks, thicc body, etc. This placement also makes people have a certain child-like quality, a permanent youthfulness because of the way they carry themselves (positive vibes y’all), they are also very driven and persistent people, with this fire inside that makes them succeed in anything they set their mind to, maybe it is because of this blind optimism that they eventually succeed. I don’t even have to go on about how this fits with Johnny because I think it speaks for itself.

Saturn in the 4th: out of the many things Saturn represents, your fears is one of them, in the fourth house there could be a fear of losing family, also fear of being unloved (even if you are a very loved person, it is always in the back of your mind), also a fear of not being safe, and not belonging. Belonging might be quite important to him and above all, with this placement: family is taken seriously. People with this aspect value family a lot, and feel responsible for their family. And I think anyone that stans NCT can agree that Johnny definitely seems to take family quite seriously.

Pluto in the 1st: LMAO ok so Pluto in the 1st, is one of the most intimidating placement a person can have. Even if you are the biggest cinnamon bun in the planet, people will be intimidated by you and lowkey scared of you at first glance. You will just naturally give off major alpha intense vibes, no matter what you do. This truly contradicts his (possible/hypothetical) Jupiter in the 1st, I can see it creating this extreme duality (that is very Johnny ngl) of being this intimidating ass man but also being a ray of sunshine that literally oozes positivity. With Pluto in the 1st, you also tend to rub people... a special way. When you have this placement in your natal chart, people either hate you or love you, there is no in-between whatsoever, but regardless of that everyone wants to f*ck you and if they say they don’t, they are lying to themselves. People with this placement tend to be insanely magnetic and people tend to be attracted to them, if they are in a room, you’ll notice them for sure cos their aura is just so intense. QWLL SHAPED LIPS

I’d like to add this here to back up my theory: How Yuta said Johnny was the scariest hyung, and they all fucking agreed and Ten SHOOK his hand like “finally someone said it, that bitch is terrifying” and then there was that time (I couldn’t find it sorry) where Doyoung said that they were all watching a horror movie and everyone kept chatting and Johnny was like all of you shut up and Doyoung said that in that moment Johnny was scarier/more intimidating than the horror movie. Also, I have this theory that idols show probably would show their rising signs more in airports, cos you know they are just walking, minding their business with their “external self” faces on so I can see how their AC would show more in those situations. And like have you seen Johnny walking around in airports? That tall bitch is intimidating as hell, he has that stare and bitch face down to a T and then I remember he has the personality of a teddy bear and I am like ???????? how

Note: for him to have these placements he’d have to be born at around 0:30 am.

so HMU if you want me to do other members and I’ll do some research about it and do a post like that. I am not sure about some of the other members but I do feel strongly about Lucas, maybe Ten, maybe Taeyong (not too sure about him yet)

from your local hoe, Lulu xoxoxoxo

#nct astrology #nct risings #nct birth charts #nct johnny #nct #nct 127 #johnny #johnny suh #johnny seo #seo youngho #suh youngho #ascendant guesses

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dvp95 · 5 years ago

Text

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 4

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e (eventually)

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 3,122 for this chapter (15,775 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

i want to die

Aw, what happened? Did you give SugarScape spoilers?

Despite Dan's horrible mood, that makes him snort. no you buffoon 1 sugarscape has been dead for yrs, much like how i would like to be 2 i don't say spoilers ever 3 it's WORSE

I may be a little out of the loop. You gonna make me guess? I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was.

phil, Dan sends on its own for emphasis. i touched my coworkers tit on live telly and now i can't look her in the fucking eye

Jaime hadn't actually cared much. She'd laughed at him, made some jokes about how Dan's spatial awareness hadn't developed yet, and then moved on with grace. Meanwhile, Dan had been having a mild panic attack on his side of the sofa because all he'd meant to do was brush a distracting piece of lint off Jaime's shoulder and, somehow, drastically missed.

It was all of ten seconds of his life, and Dan is still freaking out about it. He's been pacing his hotel room since they got back, hasn't even bothered changing out of the nice shirt he'd worn for the interview.

Like accidentally? Phil finally replies on Dan's third lap of the room.

no phil i need to grope people on camera to finish. what kind of person do you think i am. YES ACCIDENTALLY.

I dunno what you're into. I'm sure she knew it was an accident?

Yes, Jaime knows it was an accident, but that's not the point. there will be gifs phil

Phil sends him some emojis, only some of which make any sense in context. Dan isn't sure why that calms him down so much. He sits on the edge of his bed and sighs, waiting for Phil to stop typing. It takes a while, but eventually Phil says, Then you'll deal with them. It honestly can't be worse than you falling off the Jimmy Kimmel stage? I swear I saw that gif for months before I knew who you were. And if you're worried about people saying you did it on purpose, tell Jaime. You can talk about it like adults.

It's all laid out very clearly, and while it does make Dan feel better, he doesn't think he's finished being dramatic yet. He checks the time and sighs heavily.

dont suppose you'd be up for a late lunch/early dinner to distract me??

Sure! :), Phil responds immediately. The quickness of his agreement makes that part of Dan's brain start shouting again. I'm actually filming today though. I'll be done in like half an hour if you want to meet me here? Then we can either get takeaway or go out?

It's truly fascinating to Dan how practiced Phil seems to be at giving someone options and pretending like either one is fine rather than just offering his own opinion on the matter.

After assuring Phil that he'll be there, Dan considers getting changed. He's only got fifteen if he wants to get to Phil's place on time, and he isn't exactly known for his quick wardrobe decisions.

In the end, Dan just swaps his nice shoes for some sneakers and rolls his sleeves up. He's a little overdressed still, a McQueen button-down maybe a little too fancy for just hanging out with a new friend, but. He doesn't want to be late. Besides, he looks good. Maybe he likes the idea of Phil being surprised, looking him up and down, having the interview as an excuse to be so dressed up.

The part of Dan's brain that exists to remind him that men are attractive has been so, so loud this week. It's been impossible to ignore.

Dan messes with his straightened fringe until his phone beeps, telling him his Uber is outside. He remembers where Phil lives, in the very vaguest sense, but has to get the exact address from Phil.

He's glad that Phil's front door is painted a specific sort of blue. It would be just Dan's luck to knock on the wrong narrow brick building.

Thor barks, somewhere inside, and Dan shoves his hands in his jean pockets as he waits for Phil to answer the door.

"Hey!" Phil greets him before he's even fully opened the door, beaming. To the great pleasure of Dan's ego, Phil's eyebrows raise as he looks Dan over. "Y'know, you could have changed. I wouldn't have minded waiting a bit."

"Feeling underdressed?" Dan teases.

"A little," says Phil. He pushes his glasses up and gestures at his own graphic tee and slippered feet. "If I'd known there was a dress code, I'd have put on a sports coat."

"You look fine, I was just impatient," says Dan. He waits for another beat. "Uh, can I... come in?"

Phil is giving him a smile, the one with deep eye crinkles and his tongue trapped in his teeth, but it drops as he realises that they've just been standing in his doorway. "Oh! Yeah, sorry, come in. I'm actually not done filming just yet, Thor distracted me. Shouldn't take long."

"What are you filming?" Dan asks curiously, his heart pounding a bit as he follows Phil inside and then, surprisingly, downstairs. "Wait, you're the basement flat? Your video lighting is so good, though!"

"Mostly artificial," says Phil. He sounds wistful. "Someday I'll have a place with a glass window, just you wait."

"What are your windows made of now?"

"What? They're made of glass."

"Then why would you need to wait for one?"

"What did I say?"

"Glass window," says Dan, fighting back giggles. They reach the basement door and Phil lets them in, giving Dan a sheepish sort of smile over his shoulder.

"I meant a glass wall. Like a wall of windows, y'know? That's the dream."

"Yeah, it is," Dan agrees, but he's distracted by the fact that he's in Phil's flat. He kicks his shoes off among the pile next to the door and looks around. "It feels super weird to be seeing this place in 3D."

"Oh, probably," Phil laughs. "You want some slippers? My feet get so cold down here, I've got like a dozen pairs."

"I'm alright."

Phil's flat has less natural light than Dan had expected - or, evidently, than Phil would prefer - but the sheer number of lamps, string lights, and scented candles scattered around the place give it a soft glow that Dan is a big fan of. There are bright colours on every surface and every wall, and the overall effect isn't as overwhelming as it could be. Dan still thinks it could be edited down, but. It's very Phil.

To his vague surprise, he sees Phil's bed pushed against the far wall, a backless bookshelf the only divider from the open living space. Box lights and camera are all set up at the side of his bed.

"If I didn't know what you did for a living," says Dan, gesturing at the setup.

Phil grins at him. "Yeah. My landlord still doesn't believe that I don't make porn. You want a drink?"

"Sure, whatever you're having," says Dan. He spots Thor, curled up on a fluffy dog bed in the corner, and immediately starts cooing. "Oh, there you are! Hello!"

Thor perks up, cocking his head to the side, and Dan gets on the floor to call him over. Within seconds, he ends up on his back with an armful of happy puppy, and he giggles helplessly as Thor licks all over his face.

"Thor, down," Phil says from somewhere above them, sounding amused. Thor backs off, winding through Phil's legs a couple of times before he trots back to his bed.

"I love him," Dan informs Phil, still flat on his back. It's not the most flattering angle to look up at Phil, but he can deal.

"So do I," says Phil. He holds up a glass. "Ribena?"

"Please," says Dan, standing back up to accept the drink. He suddenly feels very weird, standing in the middle of Phil's lounge slash dining area slash kitchen slash bedroom. "Er, you've still got to finish filming, yeah? I can just... sit."

With a small grin, Phil waves at his sofa. "Make yourself at home. Just try not to rile Thor up too much? He's already made my blooper reel longer than the video itself."

"I think I can handle that."

Dan cannot, in fact, handle it. He brings his Ribena to the floor so he can sit next to the dog bed and scratch all of Thor's favourite spots. He finds one of Thor's toys as he listens to Phil wrap up a story that sounds maybe ten percent true, and then - well. It progresses to a tug of war before Dan can even entertain the idea that this might be distracting to Phil.

"Dan," Phil says, in this tone like he's trying to sound stern but can't stop smiling. "Are you growling at Thor?"

Yes. "Maybe."

"Maybe? I'm literally filming right now."

"He's just so cute," Dan whines.

"I know he is," says Phil. "I deal with this struggle every day of my life."

Dan sighs and lets Thor have the rope, watching wistfully as he zooms off with it. "Sorry, I'm really not trying to be a dick. I know this is your job."

"Hey, no," says Phil, suddenly sounding much closer. Dan looks up from corgi-watching to see Phil leaning against one side of his shelves, hands in his pockets and a soft smile playing around his lips. Butterflies erupt somewhere in Dan's belly. "I'm not bothered, really. I think it's cute. I just also, y'know, would like to eat sometime today."

"Why don't I just order something?" Dan suggests.

"Alright," Phil hums. "I'm lactose intolerant and hate mushrooms, but the intolerance can be ignored for pizza if that's what you want."

If that's what Dan wants. "What do you want?"

Phil blinks. "Oh, whatever."

"No," Dan presses. He knows it isn't very good manners, but he wants to see if Phil will actually offer an opinion of his own instead of walking that thin line of indifference. "I will quite literally eat anything. You pick."

It's quiet for a moment while Phil thinks it over, only the hum of the refrigerator and Thor's little huffs of breath for background noise. Dan has to admit that the small basement windows have an upside - less traffic din is able to get through. Coupled with the way Phil has lit his flat, the atmosphere makes Dan feel comfortable, like he could curl up here and just stay.

The rug under Dan is soft, the Ribena is perfectly watered down, and he's got a cute dog and a cute boy to stare at. He really could sit here forever and be content.

"I feel like Chinese," Phil says eventually. He's chewing on his lip, and Dan realises he hasn't seen Phil look so... anxious.

"Chinese sounds great," says Dan. "I'll order."

Phil seems relieved that he hasn't accidentally made a horrible choice or something, and he goes back to filming while Dan fucks around on different apps to find the best Chinese place in Phil's area.

"You never actually told me how you managed to grope someone."

Dan, who had gotten all wrapped up in chow mein and MasterChef and had forgotten his hellish morning by this point, chokes on air.

"Oh my god, nooooo," he groans, covering his face with both hands and sinking further into the sofa. He hears Phil laugh. "She just! Had some fucking, like, fluff on her shoulder. Like lint. I was gonna brush it off."

"How did you fuck that up so hard?" Phil asks. He sounds so amused that Dan wants to keep hiding, but the curse has him peeking out between his fingers curiously.

"I've never heard you swear," says Dan.

"I don't," says Phil, "on YouTube."

Unfortunately for Dan, the sound of Phil swearing is very hot. He groans again, overdramatic to cover up his very real blush, and gesticulates wildly. "My limbs are not friends with my brain, okay, I've got very big hands and I misjudged where I was putting one of them."

"Yeah, you do." Phil's eyes track Dan's hands with an intensity that makes Dan's gut constrict. Then he blinks, meets Dan's eye again, and the look is gone. "That sucks. I get it, though, my body and brain are not on the same frequency at all."

Dan thinks, a little hysterically, that this is a very good reason not to try and have sex with AmazingPhil - he doesn't want to end up in A&E.

There are roughly a hundred other reasons, too. Dan's uncertainty about his own identity, the fact that he's only in the UK for another two weeks, and the very real bond that they've been forming as friends are all at the forefront of his mind. Even so, it helps to make a joke to himself about it.

"Have you ever touched a tit accidentally?" Dan asks dryly.

"I've never touched a tit at all," says Phil. He's drinking coffee despite the hour hurtling into evening quickly, and Dan has to wonder if he ever sleeps. "Not really my wheelhouse."

"They're fine," Dan says, with much less enthusiasm than he normally would. He can't sit here and talk about his boob opinions with Phil, though, because that way lies madness. So he changes the subject, talks loudly about the episode of MasterChef they're on.

He's not ready to come out properly to himself, let alone to someone he barely knows.

Well, okay. It would be more accurate to say 'just met', because Dan feels like he does know Phil fairly well at this point. At least as well as he knows Jaime or Patrick. And maybe that's more of a commentary on how shit a coworker he is, how bad at making friends he is, but whatever. The point is that he likes spending time with Phil a lot, and he wants to do it more, but he can't have that conversation yet.

Dan knows he's attracted to guys. When he was younger and had an even worse handle on himself, that attraction would either lead to fumbling, fearing for his safety, or both.

Right now, specifically, he is attracted to Phil. This feels different, because he's got no reason to fear Phil or to immediately jump him, he's just comfortable sitting next to Phil in the dim light and letting the warmth of the feelings settle in his chest.

Maybe someday he'll be ready to tell Phil that he likes guys. Maybe that'll even go somewhere. For now, Dan is going to trash talk the chefs like he knows what he's talking about and settle into Phil's sofa and laugh like he belongs there.

Dan gets a little too comfortable. He has no idea what time it is when his eyes start to droop, but he's sure it's unreasonably early for someone who goes to sleep in the wee hours of morning most of the time.

A hand on his shoulder jerks him back into full awareness, and Dan blinks over at Phil. "Whuh?"

"Hey," says Phil. He's smiling and his voice is low. Dan can feel the slight chill of Phil's palm through the thin material of his dress shirt.

It's overwhelming, suddenly, how much Dan wants to lean in to Phil. The itch under his skin that he would feel ten years or so ago, the restless, guilty want that had him falling into bed with whatever bloke would let him, is thrumming through him with an intensity he hasn't prepared for. Dan's tongue feels heavy, and his gaze drops to Phil's mouth before he can stop it.

"Hey," echoes Dan, a beat or two late.

"You're falling asleep," Phil says. There's something about his tone that Dan can't quite place, so focused on his own emotions as he is. "You wanna stay over?"

Dan really, really does. But he really, really, really shouldn't.

"I can't," he says, not bothering to hide how regretful it makes him to turn the offer down. "Breakfast telly or whatever in the morning."

The loss of Phil's hand on Dan is one that he thinks he'll be feeling until Phil touches him again. "Of course. You probably have to wake up ridiculously early for that, huh?"

"Unfortunately."

Dan orders himself an Uber and slides to the floor with Thor in order to stop himself from giving his body what it wants in the short amount of time before it arrives. Thor likes the attention, and when Dan glances up to see the soft, unguarded look in Phil's eye, he thinks that Phil probably doesn't mind being ditched for his dog.

They chat about MasterChef and Dan's upcoming interview for a few minutes, safe topics, and Dan is disappointed when his phone beeps with the notification that his driver is close. He doesn't actually want to leave, he just knows he has to.

"We have to do this again before you head up to Edinburgh," says Phil. He walks Dan to the door, which is a little pointless - it's a total of eight steps away.

"How'd you know we're going to Edinburgh this weekend?" Dan asks, distracted from the process of getting his shoes on.

"Been in the business a while, lucky guess."

"Right. Well, then, I'll have to see what I'm doing on Friday."

"Yeah, just message me," says Phil.

There's a moment after Dan gets his shoes on where they're both just standing there looking at each other, and Dan's heart starts pounding like he's getting chased.

"I'll see you Friday," Dan says quietly, even though he isn't sure that he's free. He just needs to say something. His phone beeps again, probably telling him the driver is outside, and Dan is both relieved and annoyed.

Phil opens his mouth to say something, but Dan's racing heart and anxious mind doesn't want to hear whatever it is. He steps forward and wraps his arms around Phil's waist in a tight goodbye hug. It's the sort of embrace he'd give any of his friends, nothing overly intimate, but he knows he'll be thinking about it later anyway.

When Phil's arms drape over Dan's shoulders and his thumb brushes deliberate circles over the back of Dan's neck, it hits Dan very suddenly that if he were to try and kiss Phil right now, Phil would let him. That kind of knowledge is intoxicating, the surety of it making Dan's head swim.

But. He still doesn't know for sure what he wants, and his Uber is waiting. So he just pulls away, says goodnight, leaves.

#phanfic #phanfiction #dnp fic #phan #words words words #can't breathe when you touch my sleeve

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