#platonic jisung x reader

[aeinzzzketchup]

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭, 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞. ⋆.˚🦋༘⋆

them as your parents / family | ot8 , non-famous au , hc - esque format

𝒟 ⁱˢᶜˡᵃⁱᵐᵉʳᶻ.ᶻ.ᶻ : entirely self-indulgent fluffy silliness ,, i am feening for the closeness that this is so i manifested it as a written work via a self-insert perspective because i am actually that down bad ,, can be read as romantic or platonic concerning the guys but it's strictly platonic with reader !!

𝒲 ᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍᶻ.ᶻ.ᶻ : none of the darker sort (but if there is smth triggering pls plss let me know !!) , fluff + crack centric , VERY LONG I REPEAT VERY VERY LONG !!! , the ups and downs and beauty of parenthood , gender inclusive/neutral dynamics , brief mentions of eating & exercise & conflict & parental guidance , some swearing cuz it's me 🫠 , looots of nicknames / pet names !!! , intentional lowercase , messy bc it's self indulgent and i probs got too tired to go back & edit it , cavities probably ... for the fluff y'know?

𝓏.𝓏.𝓏.𝒾𝒹ℯ𝒷𝒶𝓇 : this is purely fictional for the entertainment of fandom consumption only & does not represent any of the members in real life nor their status! don't like? scroll on. unnecessary hate will not be tolerated.

enjoy bambinos ᡣ𐭩

⏦ﾟ♡︎ ≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼ @itzsana-kiddingmenow 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮❟ 𝙟𝙖𝙖𝙣｡ 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 (𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙣𝙖) 𝙥𝙪𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 !! 💗᪲᪲᪲

찬 | chan

calls you his baby. baby girl, baby boy, baby-baby binky boo (that was one time, in public, and you swore him to secrecy under threat of imminent doom), doesn't matter. it's always ‘his baby' because you're his baby. baby variants , little one , and his little koala bear.

even until you’re old, wrinkly, have a complete life of your own – you’ll always be his precious baby.

you probably inherit his little derp/bubble cat smile.

beefcake pt. 1, he's able to pick you up and swing you around all the way until you're full well into adulthood & he's near to wasting away (/j + aff).

he's so sweet and loves you right down to the microfibre !! there's never any room for miscommunications on how much he treasures you because he tells and shows you every day without fail.

he’s an absolute dork and probably embarrasses you on the daily, which you wouldn’t have it any other way tbh, but in turn he's also a strict parent. a patriarch of his caliber has held down the fort for years and has done a darn good job at it — his word is law, no questions, if's and's or but's.

he expects you to follow his rules & respect what he says. he doles out reasonable punishments and happily rewards in equal measure; he brings a sense of peace and fairness because that's what he always tries to be.

even if judgment seems cloudy in highly emotional moments, and he's not perfect, he always redeems himself.

physical contact , words of affirmation , acts of service ! ❤️‍🩹

gives the bestest hugs like THE bestest hugs we been knewww. 😮‍💨 just one of your dad's hugs and suddenly, life doesn't feel so bad anymore.

he's definitely the dad who puts you on his shoulders/back when you get too tired to walk. sensically, this was a staple when you were a kiddo!! but ... he's keeping up the tradition weeelll past that line. 😐

at the very most he'll never drop you !! even if his own feet slash body slash old-ass ahjussi joints are killing him.

it's cuz he knows he might never get these moments back so like the wise man he is, he's making the most of them (✿ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)⁾⁾ sentimental old sap.

(he's so iconic 😩 tryna parade you around when you're a whole adult and he's in his silver fox/dilf era like slay king 😍😝💯💘✨💅🏼)

"No, it's alright baby! Your old man still has some muscles left in him. 😜" "Daddy, your neck vein is popping out."

─── 合 ───

on nights you can't sleep, you'll find him in one of several places dotted around the house: either sitting at the kitchen island, sprawled on the couch, or in his personal office, typing away at an open laptop in front of him, screen light illuminating his features — and you never hesitate to come to him.

he might tut when he sees you up as ass o'clock (🗣 he's a hypocrite your honor 🗣) but he'll always welcome you as company. he calls you his little koala looking for a midnight adventure or a lullaby :((

you still have fond memories of eating tubs of ice cream with him under the warm lighting of the kitchen island, giggling quietly amongst yourselves as you talk about anything and everything.

p.s : those are some of his favorite memories with you too. ᡣ𐭩

always puts your safety, health and happiness first; he never wants you to be uncomfortable or unhappy with something & if you are, he's doing everything in his power to put it right !

he's definitely the parent you run to when you're struggling with anything.

be it a stuffed lovie whose threaded eye comes loose, a homework problem that just won't solve itself, some kids who might've been loud in their opinions of you being 'weird' for having 'eight dads' ... no matter what your plight may be, you always think of chan and chan is the one who always catches you in his arms when you run to him. 

when you get older, wiser, you'll look back on all the hardships you went through and realize that your dad didn't always have the answers. but he for damn sure always did what you came to him for: he held you through the storm and reassured you that everything would be okay.

to his endless credit he put your struggles to rest to the best of his abilities. if he couldn't omit them completely, he'd shoulder the burden for you.

you never have to worry about anything when you're with him <//3

"Dad has it all taken care of, okay? / Daddy will do it. / Dad's got you, it's okay." are some of his most common sayings & I can imagine it never fails to make you feel safe.

"Come here baby, give us a cuddle . . . Mm, you know appa loves you right? . . . Yeah. To the moon and beyond, my little koala bear."

민호 | minho

the “tough love” parent, but so present and so nurturing and adores you to bits. 

nags and pinches and sucks his teeth at you when you're being stubborn but he's literally where you get it from?? 😭

tbh i feel he'd be kinda proud when you show that fiery side of you; he's raising/raised you to be strong and self-assured. so granted when he sees those little parts — parts of him shining through — it gets caught in his eyes and bunny tooth smile.

doesn’t appreciate sass being directed at him but he will preen like a proud cockatoo if and when you put someone in their place. and he's right there to back you up every time !!

"yes mhm mhm that's right that's my kid."

he's strict, the 'scary one', the un-advocate for teenage dirtbag shenanigans or bratty behavior. he's firm with scoldings and punishments and once his foot is put down it is put down ... and he means well. 🥹

and like most parents, that doesn't mean he always knows what's best for you. despite always wanting and advocating for your success and happiness, he never ever means to hurt you. 

so if you become visibly distraught because of him – whether he scolds you too harshly or his teasing caught you at a bad time – he gets a little shaken and needs to be comforted by his loves. 🥹 channie and hannie are the best at this so it's not unusual to be tended to by your other parents while these two are at minho's side, but also vice versa.

tho once both parties have calmed down and you all come full circle, exchanging apologies and clearing the air? minho? he will do anything to make you feel better.

he's not leaving you alone until you're giving him that sweet smile he adores sm. (im sobbing i love mama minho) which means generous servings of your favorite dishes made fresh with love & bear hugs galore.

calls you his one and only, pudding cup, and aegyo versions / nicknames of your name.

brings you slices of fruit as an act of care but also as an apology when it comes down to it. stereotypical asian mother. (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

100% records everything. and i mean EVERY👏🏼THINGGGG — is the catalyst for why you have stacks up on stacks of baby pictures and videos. ᡣ𐭩

lovesss to cuddle with you and have you sit close by. it's soothing to him to know you're near and in sight. if you guys sit next to each other on the couch he's pulling you into his side / to lay on his lap where he will proceed to give you head scritches. like you a cat or sum 💀 he's a cat dad what can I say.

speaking of cooking lino is alwayssss cooking for you !! it's his love language: cooking (acts of service/gift giving) & quality time. the bestest part is if any of your other parents try to sneak a taste they taste lino's wrath instead.

"THAT'S FOR YNNIE, YOU OGRES. SHOO, GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN. 🤬😤"

(and because lino is actually a huge teddy bear and the whole tough guy thing is just a facade, he spares a taste here and there for his mopey soulmates. but he's rolling his eyes as he does it. he loves them more than words will say).

you guys cuddle with the cats while watching movies — soondoongdori all adopted you too when you came into their lives & they been chillin ever since.

─── 合 ───

also so playful and protective pls. like y'all will be out shopping for groceries or sumn & you'll be minding your own business in its entirety and this mf will just yank you into his side so "you don't stowaway on him", or chase you with cutlery from the kitchen when you're the one being playful.

speaking of protective ... please don't let this man be called into a school office on account of bullying GOD FORBID it be that 💀 NO man is leaving unscathed.

he'll have you tucked protectively into his side, gingerly stroking your shoulder all whilst he's instilling the fear of God into some poor kid's parent(s) (#DESERVED 😤💯💥):

"You come near them again, there'll be hell to pay. Do you understand me? This WILL not happen again." "If I'm contacted on account of my child being mistreated and all of you oafs are sitting on your asses instead of fixing the situation, I pray you have the brain capacity of holding some semblance of the law under your belt, because you'll be needing it."

. . . yeah man he becomes a complete mama bear if anyone else tries to come for you lmfao he won't HESITATE BETCH 🗣 he'll jack someone(s) all the way up for you, no hesitation.

─── 合 ───

he has a hard time saying the words ‘i love you’ sometimes but it's so evident in how he treats you and the way he gazes at you so fondly — the way he cooks you your favorite meals and feeds you and cuddles with you when you're sick and pets your head like a kitten. 

not afraid to throw down for you. does not give a singular frick, disrespectfully. he’s your ride or die fr 🤞🏼 y’all too locked in to lock out. he might be the bad cop parent but he's ALSO the guard dog parent — just say the word and he is SPRINTING to you 💨💨 it's all hands on deck and they all belong to lino.

even when you're capable of defending/standing up for yourself (as you should 💅🏼) you can always count on one lee mf minho to leap across a table with no reservations in defense of your honor.

you’re his child — he can and will uninstall nations for you and you’d do the same for him.

“Y/nnieeee, come eat! I made your favorite~”

창빈 | changbin

your protector, thru and thru.

beefcake pt. 2 he always picks you up, carries you, cradles you, all the way from when you're a baby until well down the line. you'll never be too big for him to hold. 

seo "i'm gonna be SO good at hugging" changbin who is always working out/exercising and teaches you the importance of physical health !! probably uses you as lifting weights too. he revels in your happy little squeals and giggles.

"Babin's so strong, right honey? Your Babin is the strongest in the whole world, right?"

(ʙᴀʙɪɴ ɪs ᴀ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ ʟɪʟ ɴɪᴄᴋɴᴀᴍᴇ ɪ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ !! ᴀ ᴍɪx ᴏғ "ʙᴀʙᴀ" ᴀɴᴅ "ʙɪɴ" 😭💕 ɪ'ᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴏsᴛ ʀᴇғᴇʀʀɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜɪᴍ ᴀs "ʙᴀʙᴀ" ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ғɪᴛs sᴏ ᴡᴇʟʟʟʟ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ʜᴇ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅs ᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅᴀᴅ ᴡʜᴏᴍ ɪ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴄᴀʟʟ "ʙᴀʙᴀ." ᴄʜᴀɴɢʙɪɴ ɪs ᴠᴇʀʏ ʙᴀʙᴀ ᴄᴏᴅᴇᴅ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʜɪᴍ sᴍ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ. @ɪᴛᴢsᴀɴᴀ-ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢᴍᴇɴᴏᴡ <- ʜᴏɴᴏʀᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴍʏ ʙᴀɴᴀɴᴀ ᴘᴜᴅᴅɪɴ' <𝟹)

─── 合 ───

in turn, he is also one who makes sure you get all your food groups and necessary physical activity in.

^tho this doesn't apply to those who have anatomical conditions that may restrict their bodily movements!! (🫶🏼 y'all are awesome chilling just the way you are) if you're in a wheelchair or can't stay standing for long bouts of time or anything of the sort, binnie especially loves to carry you around and post you up all nice and comfy wherever you please. but he does that anyway :') your wish is his command 💕

he's got a fuse as short as he is & the stubborn strength of a boulder. he's the dad that will stay at the kitchen table to help you eat your veggies/fruits. he doesn't force you if you have allergies/sensory issues of course, that goes unsaid, but if you're just refusing to be stubborn he is staring you down and using his Dad Voice.

not his binnie voice, not his dwaekki/aegyo ad-libs, but his Dad Voice. once that breaks out, complete with a stern glare and his beefy arms crossed across his boobs chest, i highly suggest you LOCK IN BRO HE AIN'T PLAYING WITH YOU??

ah binnie. he's loud by default but he never shouts at you when you're in trouble. parenthood has changed him for the better (like he wasn't already the best) - he doesn't believe that shouting = correctional discipline in the serious sense, anyway - but his way of disciplining you when you know you do a wrong makes you wanna shrivel up anyways so it's just as effective. <//3

fret not, though. he always reassures you after scoldings and aims to clear up any misunderstandings if you guys do have as such. he never lets you go to bed angry. ❤️‍🩹 and he apologizes if he knows he's in the wrong too !! emotionally mature king.

─── 合 ───

if you've got allergies of any kind don't worry ur pretty lil head HE'S IN THERE LIKE SWIMWEAR 🗣 he will spend hours, days, weeks and months and years researching ynnie diet-friendly alternatives to adjust to your needs while still ensuring you're the healthiest you can be !!

and once he finds something he collabs with mama minho to throw down in the kitchen and cook it up all nice and pretty on a silver platter ! 😌

once he tried to do it himself and nearly burned down the kitchen... as well as the backyard veranda trying to put it out. but it's the effort that matters ! his heart's in the right place.

healthy and happy is his self-appointed duty. not just physically but emotionally too — he’s your big ol’ safety blanket.

─── 合 ───

when you were little he'd put on a blanket and chase you around with his arms up high and playfully growling like a big ole grizzly bear and when he caught up to you , he'd scoop you up in his arms and blow raspberry kisses all over your face + smother you in snuggles.

you guys have fallen asleep numerous times after such exciting adventures and cuddled up together in fuzzy warmth :((

same as when you woke up crying in the night. if he got to you before your other parents, he'd rush over and gently scoop you up into his arms, shushing and cooing under his breath to hug and cradle you back to sleep <////3 no matter how exhausted he was, no matter if he was in the middle of a fantastic dream — you always come first. with his messy hair + puffy face + voice groggy with sleep and all.

when you're at a stage going through the motions ... we all know how stressful life is and how roughly it can get you down. even the strongest towers crack and fall, he especially knows how stressful it is. he's been there.

his heart shatters if he ever finds you crying alone. so the moment your tired frame and sunken eyes meet his, he's holding his arms out and you're sinking into his embrace and he's holding you like you'll disappear if he lets go. he certainly won't.

the moment you need him you're in his arms and he's holding you like he'll never let go. he's warm, soft, smells nice and both strong and squishy - the best of all worlds.

"Aigooo my little bean bun, what's wrong ? Shhh-shh ... there we go. There there, let it out~ No need to cry, my love. Babin's here, see? ... My sweetheart, I will always be here. 🥺"

those are the best times when you tend to feel safest. in your babin's arms.

─── 合 ───

and while he's the biggest baby in existence don't misunderstand he is intimidating ASFFFFFF. i rue the day he spots an inkling of tears in your pretty eyes BUT NOT JUST ANY TEARS ... but non - happy tears that SOMEONE is responsible for putting there.

you thought lino was bad ? oof. lemme tell y'all about my friend seo changbin. 😮‍💨

scares off any and all potential bullies + fake friends + especially any creeps that eye you up a little too closely 🤨. nobody's even thinking of touching you when your babin's near. your own personal guard dog !!

(& it just makes you wanna giggle bc only you and your family knows how much of a goofy softie he really is in private 🤭)

your childhood friends were probably scared of him a little whenever they came over to visit but then he disarms them with his silliness and his sweet smile and dwaekki noises and probably impresses them by using them as lifting weights too and lo & behold you're the coolest kid on the block with one of [and all of] the coolest parents ever 😎 slay.

gift-giving , quality time & physical affection. ❤‍🔥

gives the BESTEST presents 🎁. i'm talking birthdays, holidays, special events. he's definitely that parent who takes his child out on 'dates' in order to show them to never settle for less and what they should expect from a potential partner !! & if u don't swing that way (romantic relationship-wise) it works just as well for what you should look for and expect in the people you'll have for life. found family 2.0. healthy relationships all the wayyyyy.

speaking of which binnie is BIG on reassuring you and building your self-confidence affirmations and compliments and hyping you up !! that's him !! that is he !! (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)°ᡣ𐭩 . ° . !!

you can always count on him to quell and squash any insecurities because he always reassures you on how wonderful you are :(( no sad y'nnies on his watch !! >:(

it's because of him that you can carry yourself with strength and wisdom and confidence. remember him every time you cat walk, every time you cuddle something fuzzy and pink, and every time you hear loud sounds akin to a cruise horn. 😌 (/lh + /playful) ᡣ𐭩

"YOOOOOHH, Yn-ahhh!! Come watch Babin bench press your old man!! I finally got the squat stance down! 😈" "YAH SEO CHANGBIN!!! 😫" (Bang Chan, in fear for his life, because his Binnie really has him ten toes off the ground he has no business being up there why does this happen why).

현진 | hyunjin

soooo so loving and wonderful :(( my dumpling twin :(( he mothers he fathers he wine aunties HE DOES IT ALL

another one who fits into the mama stereotype !! he puts flowers in his hair and offers to put them in yours too, paints out on the veranda bathed in sunlight and morning dew, tends to his little garden with lix and lino and always looks the most serene when he's got you, his precious little flower, in his arms.

his precious little flower. his pocket dancer. his beloved. his masterpiece, his little majesty, his absolute pride & joy.

when you were younger he definitely had you hanging off his hip all the time ... i mean c'mon it suits him; whether he was the perfect picture of a black panther decked out in one of his sleek versace getups complete with shades and a sassy expression,

or resembled the closest thing to a "fairy prince" as one could get with fuzzy sweaters and aprons with floral stitch work and cute sanrio barrettes dotting the wisps of his hair , dumpling smile on full display , it was always complete with a precious baby - his precious baby , held in the cradle of his arm.

especially when he was in his art studio !! he'd even had your own little area set up where you guys would paint side by side :')

tho after one such incident of you snatching up one of his paint brushes from his paint water and putting it in your mouth despite the long since invested in child-friendly non-toxic paints and colors and thereby causing hyunjin to die and live 5 lifetimes in the span of two seconds , he's a lot more careful about where you go in his art studio.

─── 合 ───

speaking of fashion , you are hyunjin's little doll :( u both have matching shades & getups no child of his is gone be caught lackin'. he gotchu covered fr 😤🤞🏼

tho we are both well aware that people grow up and develop their personal sense of style. natural part of growing, yes?

but. trustttt & believeeeee that you're getting MAJOR side eye if he catches u tryna go out in public in your 'nobody i know will see me in this' fits. how could someone he helped raise become something that dares to dress themselves in the rags and tatters and like it?? (/lhj)

sometimes you probably do it on purpose to mess w/ him let's be real. his reactions are absolute gold.

despite his affronted gasps and hisses and harrumphs from off to the side while you're rocking it in your baggy hoodies + sweats + size-too-big wrinkly tees , he leaves you be in peace ... for the most part. 🥴

he's got enough fashion for the both of you , as he says. (pls he's so aggravating i cannot) but let it be known HE ONLY REACTS LIKE THAT IF YOU'RE TRYNA GO OUT like that. when y'all are at home , both of y'all are dressed to the nines ! . . . in rags and tatters 😇.

─── 合 ───

the emotional parent 🫠 cries every time you reach milestones in your life. i'm talkin' shiny diamond tears brimming his eyes + a hand raised covering his wobbling lips and if he's offered a tissue , he's blowing into it not unlike an elephant's trunk. ilhsm pls

it adds to the ~dramatic flair~ and yea it may be a little embarrassing at times - especially if the drama llama catches the attention of onlookers - but when he's gazing at you in wonder , like you're a gift from the stars & murmuring "i'm so proud of you"s into your ear through his tears , how could you truly feel anything aside from the glow in your chest ?

(we love a man who shows his emotions 🙌🏼💖)

he may be the softest person in existence for you. he may hold you in the gummy nucleus of his heart and cradle it like fine china, he may do all those things !! but just like his soulmates - he doesn't tolerate bad behavior & enforces rules and consequences accordingly.

tho in any case . . . all it takes is one venomous look from him and you're getting your shit gathered , locking tf in. 😭🙏🏼 he don't play that mess. those eyes do more than judge and sparkle , baby. you wanna get testy with him ? he doesn't gotta play the game, he invented it. so yeah. try him. (I suggest you don't).

─── 合 ───

when you're lounging in your bed or on the couch or a duvet (because you CAN'T tell me he doesn't have one or multiple dotted throughout the house for him to throw himself on for exquisite 🤌🏼✨ dramatic flair YOU CAN'T) — he makes sure you're close by and, if u're not, he wails out for you like a damsel in distress and it's muscle memory at this point for you to have a moist towelettes on hand because he will be needing it for something.

you're his baby & therefore his accomplice, he needs to have a spectacle every so often or else he'll die. & yes you need to be there!!? don't question your jinni!! (/hj + /aff)

hyunjin trusts you and often asks for your opinion on his paintings or when he's developing a new choreography !! your favorite memories are from when he'd dance for and with you in his studio , the both of you in a world of your own full of bubbly smiles and laughter and warm, warm hugs.

he ofc painted your room , and anytime you want an update he is all over it !! he has an eye for style and is a true artist at heart; give him your request , any to all details and he is a man on a mission to give you your dream room.

he may call you his little muse but honestly, it's hyunjin who slipped on your rose-colored lenses. like him and because of him , you have an eye for the artistic things in life.

the little things like flowers sprouting out of the cracks in the concrete during a casual stroll or the intricacies of architectural history underneath the weariness of time when you spot a worn-down building — you garner the habit of being able to find the beauty in things most people wouldn't.

y'all know that saying '' one taught me patience , one taught me pain , one taught me beauty '' ?

hyune taught you all of them & the swirling coexistence of each element. he taught you just how beautiful it is and how far you can go in life with discovering the bounds (or lack thereof) of your spirit and how , at the end of the day , it really is how you see it.

"No matter where you go, you'll always come back to us, right? . . . Oh honey, I will always be here for you, no matter where you go."

지성 | jisung

perches you on his lap when he's working in his personal studio !! whenever you wanna play with the buttons (he makes sure to lock the keyboard so you can go to town and not risk messing up any progress) or have you sing into the mics and play it back with funny voice modifiers !!

but ofc little you be cookingggg you get your chubby little hands on those spinners & beat makers and ACTUALLY create some sounds that catches ji's attention bc "hollup hollup that sounded like the melody to a worldwide groundbreaking track run it back"

(even tho u were legit just slapping your hands up and down like the happy kid you were. he bows in reverence of your expertise & you're just posted up in the studio chair like. 😃😄 your appa is so silly).

he has so many nicknames for you it's actually a mf joke. literally calls you every endearment under the sun 😭 it's how he channels his affection for you !!

baby, honey, pumpkin, poppet, munchkin, chubby cheeks, joey (the offspring term for quokkas [and other marsupials but i digress]) <//3 I mean there's a new one every other so often but these circulate enough to be dubbed his 'mains.'

he's actually so goofy like SO SO GOOFY he's your personal laughing button !! & there's nothing more that he revels in than your laughter so trust he's always exaggerating whenever he wants to get a reaction out of you.

it was absolute heaven when you were a little one but as you grow into your teens/adulthood & you go through that lovely little period of puberty you like to tease him sometimes and. don't even spare him a glance.

he always always expects you to laugh at his jokes so when he cracks one and whips his head around to look at you cheesin' like "😃😄😃" and is met with dead silence . . . he is so. viscerally anguished. he is confusion. he's clutching his pearls and falling to his knees like the tragedy of a Roman god. "😨😰😫😵⁉"

like he is FIGHTING for his LIFE. YOU'RE SO HARD TO IMPRESS NOW!!! HAVE SOME MERCY ON YOUR APPA!!!! 😭

like he's such a dad who gets so desperate for a reaction from you it's almost pathetic ☠️ he's going through withdrawals. he's frothing at the mouth. he's dang near crawling at your feet while you gaze down at him with the judgy side eye that you undoubtedly inherited from hyunjin.

"You could at least pretend to laugh, Ynnie. 💔 Ever heard of respecting the elderly, FOR THEY are your future?"

"Buy my silence, you rich old goat. If youth is wasted on the young, then I'd say you've nothing to worry about."

"OH?? 😲 OMO 🫨🤬 WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?! RESPECT YOUR FATHER!! 😫😭💔" (he literally started it pls)

he can't stand to see his baby grow up y'all that's all :')

aaaand because he's a professional comedian & moodmaker, that ofc means his elite sense of humor and vitamin effect rubbed off on you. not to say you're not alr a joy, it's just that in other words : nobody is safe when you two are together. especially when you develop that snarky sense of dry/dark humor from irino and use it as collateral damage. he adores you to bits. a #smittendad, if I may.

you're like a mini minho, or a mirror of mama hyune - you can't help being a little sassy towards appa jiji because he plays along so well and mostly ends up just spoiling you because all he sees is a baby version of his two yeobos & it's literally the cutest thing to him.

you may tease your fifth old man but you're arguably the softest w/ him too. he protects you so so much. always making claims of how he'll be around even when you're over 90 years old, nagging lino to cook you seaweed soup or giving you contraband (like cookies, candy, an extra fanta, some cheesecake, etc) when nobody's looking, to be there to rock you on his lap to sleep and sing you self-written lullabies. to be there to hug you to his side and skip next to you on the sidewalks and always jumping over the cracks because "we can't break daddy channie's back, baby! one, two, hoyjaaah!"

coming into your room to wake you up with kisses to your cheeks and whispering softly while cooing at your bedhead & making little jokes here and there to ensure your day would start with a smile.

release me, he's so sweet and so loving and you can just tell you're his whole heart :((

words of affirmation, quality time & physical touch !! 🛸

curated a whole album of songs - exclusively made for you - that he gifted to you on your 18th birthday. he had some of your favorite artists featured on there and nearly every track has some twined auditory memorabilia !! you recognized your child-self giggles mixing with his on the backing track of one specific song and it was such a throwback you teared up a little bit. or a lot. depending on how you feel !! no shame in bawling your eyes out (like jisung).

you're his one and only, his first and foremost. his reason for being. he may be silly and lighthearted but he is a long-lived individual who is entirely capable of the deeper, introspective parts of life. through it all he is undoubtedly a huge emotional support for you. you could never be wrong in his eyes - not to excuse you doing wrong, he knows you're not perfect. nobody is - but you could never be wrong.

to him, you're as close to perfect as it can get.

"Ynnie, my baby-baby. Appa loves you so so much, you know that right? Even if I was an alien from another planet and had a different kid, I'd steal a spaceship to come and find you."

필릭스 | felix

the perfect blend of mama stereotype and father stereotype, but in all seriousness, he's a grandpa. /j

nah fr tho. he's so soft and versatile he's a residential floater when it comes to the parental status !! but he's just as loving and affectionate with you either way so it doesn't rly matter :))

such a cuddle bug. as we've been knowing. if you ever want cuddles or a hug or any kind of physical reassurance, lixie is right there with open arms and a bright smile. he ofc respects your space when you need & want it but he shows his love and affection a majority of the time thru positive physical gestures.

this is so so important to me but I feel in my heart that lix plays an integral part in helping you differentiate positive from negative touch. if u're not one for skinship then that's absolutely fine - it helps, even !! - but it's bc of him that you .. like, you are adept in realizing a good touch from bad touch. there are a lotta fake hoes out there only after one thing, there are wolves who are trying hard at keeping up appearances. i'm just sayin'.

& if people don't get a first hint, well. he didn't pass down the fruition of his 63 medals in taekwondo for nothing.

─── 合 ───

when you was a baby he was biiig on the kangaroo care concept! cradling you to his chest, his small hands hardly outshining your own tiny torso :( rubbing soft circles with his thumb and sliding his palm soothingly up and down your soft chonky back. his eyes absolutely sparkle every time he looks at you, brimming with affection, fondness & pride. maybe a bit of wonder.

he'd stand and sway gently in your nursery/bedroom, bathed in gentle sunlight and humming steadily in that low register of his, present and nurturing and so full of adoring love for you. he'd lay with you in your crib - and when you came of age, your bed - and you guys would nap and snuggle the day away without a care in the world. he'd make cute little noises and just do.. tiny little gestures that never failed to put a smile on your face. & in turn that'd make him smile too !!

and when you're older and are just off, doing your own thing around the house, he'll be magnetized to you and just ... come sit/lay/cuddle near you to stroke your head, play with your hair, gently scratch at your arm or back. like he just finds comfort in you and loves you sm :(( sometimes no words are exchanged, just gentle glances and even gentler gestures. all the tenderness that only a loving parent could have for their child.

in terms of scolding, I imagine he's ... not the bestest at it ='] mostly due in part to his tender heart and sensitive nature, he just can't find it in him to scold you too harshly if you're being especially stubborn & when it comes to punishments he leaves it up to the others for the most part but, in all honesty, it does not mean he's incapable of disciplining you at all.

that deep voice sternly calling out your name in reproval and his sharp regard, eyebrow raised and lips set into a firm line, disapproval marring his expression pins you to the spot every time. and. girl.

if you got your softest, fluffiest parent being the one scolding you NO YOU DON'T MATE PLEASE LOCK IN IT ISN'T WORTH IT??? he may be a softie but he ain't no pushover 😮‍💨 watch yourself.

─── 合 ───

BAKES FOR YOU !!! we all saw this coming. (*´ω｀*) the sweetest most delicious treats in the entire world !!!!! cookies, brownieeesss, cupcakes, bundts, muffins, sweet bread, whatever your heart desires he's making it all! when you come home from school & he's not already greeting you in the kitchen, there's a small wicker basket - custom made especially for you - that he diligently keeps filled with yummy homemade baked goods for you to enjoy :(

+ & if you're not a big fan of sweets he will absolutely bake you any other yummy treats you'd want to try instead!! umami, savory, salty - he's particularly adept. all you gotta do is ask and he is hightailing it to the kitchen to whip his little chocolate chip whatsoever their heart desires.

nothing can compare to your fifi's baking & that's a hill you (along with many others) are willing to die on. they're almost as sweet as he is =") !!

he is ... so so gentle with you? like, devastatingly so. he's the most open with his affection for you and constantly shows it, primarily via positive physical touch (hugs and cuddles, kisses, massages, playing with your hair or simply rubbing your head if you don't have any/it's too short/u just don't want your hair to be played with 😭) but he shows it in other ways too.

a lot like minho, he displays it through ✨food✨ but also through quality time & verbal reassurances. no matter what he will always have you feeling appreciated & adored, because you really, really are.

used to hold you in his lap while he played video games. and when you outgrew that (if you ever did), he cuddles you between his legs or vice versa. & sometimes y'all game together !!

he had a thing where when you were a toddler, he'd let you hold the remote and lay his hands over yours, guiding your chubby little fingers as you 'played' and cheer you on with the sweetest words of encouragement & celebrate like it's the Superbowl when you'd 'win.'

... and he still does that to this day. undoubtedly, his heart shines with a deep sense of pride when you take the controls & actually do win, but if you're not as an adept player as he, it's a trip down nostalgia lane as he encases your hands in his smaller ones and flits his fingers across the buttons with timeless skill, his chin resting on your head / shoulder & planting soft kisses on your face and hairline with a big ol' smile. ( ◜‿◝ )♡

he just. adores you endlessly. he really loves you and it's unshakeable in its promise.

"C'mon, Babycakes, I baked your favorite! Say 'ahhh . . .'"

승민 | seungmin

he sings to you, always.

bye I'm sorry that's the foremost thing that I say but !! our silver vocalist king !! of course he serenades his child. 🥺

his favorite pastime is to hold you close, whether by his side or in his lap, and sing softly to you.

acts of service & quality time. 🩵

he doesn't shy away from physical touch (see exhibit a), he simply exhibits his love & affection for you in foremost ways above the others !! he's a very clean person so he was - and is - always cleaning up for you. but in the small ways !! he obviously implements the important basic life skills of being cleanly & organized very early on and made a game out of cleaning when you were little.

but as you grow older, I mean. sometimes u just don't have the time for it, and he gets it. so he's gotcha covered.

he'll do your laundry & always keeps your favorite laundry soap scents in full stock (and he always puts a little extra fabric softener in there). if you're okay with it and if it is messy, he'll clean up your room, fix your bed up, organize your things and just ... is really good in crafting a clean, open space for you to breathe. yo shyt could be the cleanest most spic-n-span-est shyt in the world but there's just something about the Seungtouch™ that'll do it every time.

teaches you baseball. I don't make the rules in this gang shit, I just enforce 'em. ┐( ˘_˘)┌

if you can't/don't want to indulge in the more physical aspects of it, he's yappin' allll about the sport to you in layman's terms. when you were little he gaslit himself into thinking you were genuinely interested + invested in what he was saying likeeeee.

you had no chance. he'd cornered you while you were in your high chair. he's sneaky, pulling out handheld erase boards while spending time with you in your playpen to illustrate playoffs and compare historical records between his favorite teams. he's even taken you to several games !!! ⚾

he just wants to share one of his favorite things with his baby, okay? :((

(and if you show genuine interest he's the happiest dada in the world. if you dare to use proper baseball lingo, you absolute dog, he will be cheesing so so hard. his paternal pride is riding at an all-time high. life is peak and it can only get higher).

this mf is so weird y'all will go outside to play on an actual field and he will get on all fours and chase you all the way around the diamond 'til you reach home base. then once you do he'll either a) act like he ain't traumatized you within an inch of your life, straighten up and cheer on your success or b) start growling and chuffing and barking like a REAL 👏🏼 MF 👏🏼 DOG 👏🏼 and keep chasing you.

(he showers you in praise either way so u are, indeed, the real winner here 😼 your second-youngest parent is just an oddball).

the parent that's exquisite in helping you with academics !! I wanna be funny & say he's the parent that scolds you over math questions at the kitchen table and stays with you until you get it correct but, he's too patient for that. seungmo is very smart, we all know this, but I don't think he'd implement that standard childhood homework trauma within you.

he's patient, he's thorough, he doesn't make you feel like a dunce and he encourages you to ask questions. he doesn't think you're dumb and he'll shut down any potential negative self-talk. he's the main one you go to for help with scholastic matters bc every time you do, no matter what subject it covers, the assignments that had seungmin's influence receive notably high marks.

he'd be proud of you no matter what :') high marks, low marks, middleman marks - as long as you tried your best, that's all that matters.

pets your head, smooths his large hand down your back - warm and comforting - and gives you that puppy - esque smile you know so well.

"Y/nnie did good today. Mm? Even just breathing, my little diamond did good today."

(Y'ALL I GOT THE NN DIAMOND FROM THE BASEBALL THING!! IT'S A BASEBALL REFERENCE!!!! BE PROUD OF ME!!! 😭 MY HEART ACHESSSSSS MONGMONGIE CALLING HIS CHILD HIS "DIAMOND" I WILL KEEL MYSELF OVER RIGHT THIS INSTANT)

─── 合 ───

but ehehe, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE HIS BABY DON'T MEAN YOU'RE FREE OR SAFE FROM HIS SAVAGENESS PLEASEEEEE YOU WILL BE CATCHING STRAYS 💀

teased you once by saying they adopted you from some grizzly bears in the forest and you cried snot and ended up running away to the local park close to y'all's house - whether that was because you were distraught or because you ventured off to try and find your so-called fuzzy family or heck. both? that's a story for another day -

and this man was the main one panicking trying to find you. it was truly a sight: the calm, collected, cool as a mf cucumber kim seungmin becoming a feral disheveled mess because his child is GONE—

(you were less than 30 feet away but I honestly get it)

—he was screaming, crying, throwing up, falling against the walls, ripping at his hair - the works. hell, your other parents (who had all been previously scolding him for his advanced teasing on your young impressionable mind) ended up comforting him instead lmaoo

while they were honestly freaking tf out - not just at your disappearance (if they had peeked out a window they would've been able to see your little bobbing head, hear the little cinnamoroll bell keychain on your pack-pack 🤦 men.) but at such a state of seungmin - it just made a dire situation simultaneously chaotically comical & just that more dire.

he fell to his knees and wept when they got you back again and refused to let go of you for nearly an hour straight.

despite after nearly being torn to shredssss with how much he got scolded by your other parents, namely by the entire hyung line, he was more concerned with you and was himself torn between scolding you and coddling you so it was just this chaotic heart wrenching mix of both 💀.

(chan bc he's daddy [/ns], lino bc he's mommy [/ns], binbin bc that's his designated hyung & hyunjin bc "what do you even know?" + he must correct puppy's behavior. idk it just fits).

you didn't sleep with anybody but him that night and he spent the better portion of the rest of that month practically grovelling at your feet in apology. he quite literally was at your beck and call, spoiling you rotten as if u aren't already smh out of pure guilt, he had to be restrained by your other parents lmfaoaoooo.

but it simply served as a segue for him to reiterate how much you really mean to him. no matter how much he may lightheartedly tease you, no matter how many jokes he may make, he adores you so much it aches so please understand Appa and never go away. especially like that, ever again. okay??

─── 合 ───

he is not someone you want to be scolded by. I mean I doubt you'd ever want to be scolded by any of them but seungmo is a whole 'nother ballgame. (y'all see what I did there? *wheeze, knee slap, chokes*) just, that's it.

but he's ALSO ... another safe base for when you're mopin'. he is wonderful with his words & very intelligent, he's more than able to craft it in such a way that they touch right down to your heart and head so that his reassurances stick with you for a long while.

and sometimes you don't need nor want words so he will just ... be there. he's your rock pt ii. seungmin may appear demulcent on the outside but he is unyielding in his ways and not easily shaken. that's most in part why you know you can rant to him, scream and holler and cry and heck - maybe even throw some things around.

he'll sit there and let you get it all out, unperturbed, simply watching you with an unreadable - yet not unkind - expression. patiently waiting for the storm to pass and the inevitable drizzle to take over; and when that happens he's pulling you close with your permission, grasping your hand in his, stroking his thumb across your knuckles and murmuring loving soothsaying into your ears.

don't get me wrong, he won't lie to you - dare I say he's the most logic-minded one amongst all your parents - if you're in a pickle involving other parties he's psychoanalyzing their behaviors solely based on what you've told him & letting u know what's good. and if you're in the wrong in any way, he'll (gently) shine a light on it too. but he says it in a way that doesn't really make you feel bad. just an incentive to do better next time =]

if you want advice, he'll give it. if you don't, he won't say anything. he's very good at just ... being there.

a constant presence by your side, as natural and essential as air itself.

"Hand me my guitar, coffee bean. Come and sing with Appa, hm? Appa will sing a beautiful song for his aegi . . . wha-? No, not Yeni. You're my aegi."

정인 | jeongin

a healthy mix between chill parent and helicopter parent, but in all honesty, he's actually your Busan-ian grandmother.

because he knows the frustrations of being babied and coddled , he's a little more willing to give you freedom. but in the sense that he doesn't really straight up baby you and treats you accordingly & respects you as an individual !!

from this, you get a sense of independence when it comes to developing your social skills and introspection - yeni's perspective would allow you to see you outside yourself and present you in a way that you want to. he also reassures you when you're unsure of things and you can def count on him to softly go "aigooo~" when you stumble a bit along the way. but no fretting ! cuz he'll be there to help you up, dust you off, and be there every step of the way. 🥰

you definitely love your granmama appa so so much. he's everything to you and you're everything to him oms. 🤞🏼💕

─── 合 ───

tho he doesn't really use them often & just calls you by your name, or like lino, aegyo versions + the esteemed "ynnie" - the endearments he does call you are his cub !! because that's actually what baby foxes are called: cub , kit , pup & dearest are his main endearments for you.

(and "my son/daughter/child" in an operatic trot tone when he wants to be funny. he's a country boy. /derog)

call him old-fashioned, call him old-school, call him old man (THAT is one he will NEVER TOLERATE!!!), yeni has such a comforting and nostalgic vibe. he's stable and wise and mature and he takes care of you very well !!

on sundays he'd wake you up and bring you out to the living room where you guys would turn on the big screen tv to watch cozy dramas and eat fruits. it's your healing time with your youngest appa.

but on the topic of oLd MaN 😪🤢🫢🫨😬 ... for calling him such obscenities (his words. who do you think he is?? chan???) he USED to just tickle you into submission when you were a kid but when you're grown & he's not able to gain the upper hand as easily, he plays the victim and tries to gaslight you into feeling guilty for "assaulting the hand that feeds you."

but he's missing the key detail that he raised you. you are immune to his little tricks and teases. he's created a monster unstoppable force and, day by day, he's becoming less and less of an immovable object.

─── 合 ───

(y'all are legit besties stop)

you truly are his lil buddy :(( he's your youngest dad and despite all his maturity and mellowness, he's still got that baby bread boyish charm ✨ lino has an especially hefty collection of you two together when you were a baby/toddler and yeni was always all over you.

smiling and cooing at you while you were perched in your car seat during car rides, burping you after feedings, bouncing you gently up and down in his lap while making cute silly lil noises to hear your bubbly laughter, and ofc, singing his all-famous trot.

gift-giving & words of affirmation. 🎀

tho he's not big on pda or just too much affection in general, he shows his love and affection for you in different ways !! most often in the form of him spoiling you with clothes , food , snacks , fun little items that support your hobbies + interests !! no matter what it may be , he gets you the best version of that very thing. he's very observant of what you like & it's already been proven by evidence that he's among one of the best gift givers in the group !! why wouldn't he shower his child in the spoils of the latest trends and riches? (IM SO JEALOUS PLSS)

^ that doesn't mean he never shows you physical affection : he's particularly big on giving you forehead/temple kisses and always holds your hand when you guys are out in public running errands together.

i feel like y'all develop a bestie-type relationship when you're older !! of course the respect and boundaries that should be there between a father and child are there , but like ... there's not that many in the first place ?? y'all just be chilling fr. best chilling buddy. y'all are on the same wavelength of vibes and because yeni is always down for whateva concerning you, it's always a good time no matter what y'all are doing.

he's not a regular dad. he's a cool dad. /ref 🥂

─── 合 ───

he may be easygoing but he's also a bit of a disciplinarian parent. i think that's why it's kinda scary getting scolded by him - he hardly keeps a tight rein on you and trusts you completely. you have a good head on your shoulders & even if you were in trouble, you have 8 men who will literally burn the world for you at your disposal. so you know you messed up bad if yeni gets stern and strict with you. nonetheless , he never wants to hurt or scare you ever - he just wants you to be safe.

y'all know those vids with the caption "when my bestie manager comes out of bestie mode and switches to manager mode" or something along those lines ?? yeah that's basically yeni 🥲

he's mellow most of the time but when he needs to lock in he locks in. parent #3 you definitely don't want being mad at you. it's so awkward and nauseating like 😖 it will definitely have you rethinking and regretting the thing you did in the first place.

but even then communication is key and he's a wise man who knows how to handle his shit & you're literally his kid. he goes in, makes sure the message is clearly delivered & once is all said and done, it's water down the drain.

& you immediately know y'all are good when he comes up to pat your head, smoothing down your scalp to gently squeeze at the back of your nape. it's minor but specific. a gesture that you depend on for peace.

because he's the youngest of your parents, he definitely can get a little overwhelmed and insecure sometimes. about his presence in your life. every little thing he does has the potential to influence you - it's quite literally his job to influence you. to have you grow into a capable, functioning adult navigating a world he, selfishly, wants to protect you from.

he has his moments ofc ofc, but honestly jeongin is such a mature and capable person himself, i feel there isn't much to fear at all. plus he's got seven other beautiful people backing him up so ... it's not like he's alone :'))

is he perfect? no. far from it. all of them are, really. but he has all the incentives: you're his child. and he loves you. and he tries, and makes it work, and puts you first in all aspects. it's enough. more than enough, really.

"Did you know that peeling tangerines for another person is a symbol of love? It requires attention, care, consideration . . . It usually means that whomever you peel a tangerine for, is someone you care for very much. Here, cub, take the big piece . . . Mhmm. Is it yummy? 😊 Eat deliciously, okay? Appa will peel you as many as you want."

𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟻 © ᴀᴇɪɴᴢᴢᴢᴋᴇᴛᴄʜᴜᴘ. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀ��ɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄʀᴏss-ᴘᴏsᴛ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪᴢᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ.

[anothershorthuman]

Stay Alive Pt. 8

pairings: nct dream x platonic!reader, afab!reader (you wear a skirt, but they/them pronouns are used), ??? x reader x ???

genre: zombie apocalypse au, high school au, angst, fluff, humor, not really horror but it's zombies ya'know

word count: 3.0k

series warnings: blood, injuries & fighting, suicide, character death, swearing, again... zombies.

chpt warnings: medical malpractice, mentions of dead parents, swearing

summary: nobody was ready for a zombie apocalypse. you were definitely not ready for a zombie apocalypse. while contemplating just giving up and accepting your fate, you meet a group of boys. life may seem pointless now, but at the very least, you now have a reason to stay alive.

previous: masterlist: next

… 

The camp isn’t as full as Jaemin thought it would be. Sure, there are several hundred people, but there are plenty of empty beds. The camp is broken up into several buildings: 4 housing lodges, 3 bathroom lodges, 1 cafeteria, the 2 medical buildings near the entrance, the staff entrance building, and a giant courtyard in the middle. 

The boys were given a tour after all of their medical examinations and given color coded wristbands in order to place them in a lodging house. Mark and Chenle were put into the green house, Renjun, Haechan, and Jisung in the yellow house. The remaining two houses were blue and red, but the wristbands given to Jeno and Jaemin were orange. 

“What the fuck is orange?” Jaemin asks the guard giving them a tour. 

“The two of you were uncooperative when you were found. Think of it as your first warning.” 

They were instructed to stay in the red lodging house. Apparently, that is where all of the uncooperative residents stayed, as well as off-guard security and military. Jeno assumed that this is similar to what being in prison was like. Uncooperative residents were only allowed in the red lodge and other communal spaces. People placed in other housing lodges were free to enter any building except the staff building. There was a curfew, everyone was to be in their housing lodge at midnight.

The boys sat together at the outskirts of the courtyard. Jeno was glaring at anyone that stared a little too hard. They had tried looking for you, assuming that your medical examination must have gone by quicker than theirs considering you were by yourself and yet, you were nowhere to be found.

“What if something was wrong with them?” Chenle asked. The implication was understood by everyone, what if you had been infected?

“Don’t say that.” Renjun is quick to shoot him down. “We asked the guards if they were fine and they said they are so… they’re fine.”

Jaemin is picking at the skin around his nails, “Fine my ass. We should find them and get out of here.”

“Maybe we should leave without them.” Everyone's heads whip to look at Jeno in surprise. He shrugs a bit, “Don’t look at me like that. If the government wants to keep them for whatever reason, maybe we should let them. I mean, it's the government! What the hell are we supposed to do against the government?”

Haechan is the first to defend you, “We’re not supposed to abandon our friends.”

Jeno shakes his head, “I’m glad you could find comfort in them after what happened with your mom, but they aren’t the only ones wanting to help you through that. We need to be realistic, okay?” When an uncomfortable silence follows his statement he continues, “This isn’t me not wanting to be their friend. This is me prioritizing the friends I have in front of me right now.”

Jeno’s a bit out of breath after his outburst and his eyes flicker between all of the boys trying to gauge their reaction. 

“Maybe he’s right.” Jisung says softly. He’s ripping up the blades of grass in front of him as he talks, avoiding eye contact with everyone else. “If something were to happen to them, or anyone of us, they wouldn’t want the rest of us to be hung up on it, right? We can’t just sit around and do nothing. If something happens to me, I want you guys to make a run for it. Keep living.”

Chenle stands up and speaks as he dusts off his pants, “I don’t give a shit what you guys say. Leave for all I care, but I’m not leaving without knowing why they’re being so secretive about keeping my friend isolated and away from us.” And with that he left towards the green lodge. Mark is quick to run off after him, assuring the others that he’ll be back after making sure that he’s okay. Jisung follows.

Renjun sighs, this really wasn’t how he thought this conversation would go. Jeno has been nothing but candid with his distaste for you, even if he’s unwilling to explain where these feelings originated. He’s also noticed the complete opposite with Jaemin. All of the second years know that Jaemin is a flirt, often taking people out on dates. There were rumors about how he would sneak his arm around his dates shoulders, his other hand maybe wandering. But Renjun knows that despite Jaemin’s flirtatious persona, those rumors were only rumors. Jaemin hadn’t been interested in anyone for years, but he wonders if maybe he’s interested in you now. Renjun glances at him, only to realize that Jaemin is already looking at him intently.

“What?” Renjun asks.

Jaemin shrugs, “You didn’t say anything earlier, I was just wondering what you’re thinking.”

“I’m worried about them too. But if everyone else wants to leave, then I’m okay with that too.”

Jaemin lets out a dry laugh, “So you don’t actually have an opinion?”

Renjun can feel his eyebrows rising, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’re taking the easy way out. Would it kill you to be divisive?”

“I’m divisive when I need to be,” Renjun is quick to retaliate, “I care about the entire group and I understand that not everyone will agree with me, something that you don’t seem to understand.”

“Oh, I understand. I really just don’t care. If I’m right, I’m not gonna go along with everyone else because they agree. They’re still wrong.”

Renjun leans forward, challenging him, “So you’re never wrong?”

Jaemin sends him a lazy smile, “I’m never wrong.”

Sure, Renjun is annoyed with Jaemin’s answer, but it’s Jeno that scoffs in disagreement.

“I can name 5 different times you were wrong right now.” Jeno says.

“Do it.” Jaemin challenges.

“The time you told Haechan that Chaeyoung was into him and he should confess to her.”

“I knew she would reject him. But he had been doing unnecessary favors for her and Haechan was being used. She needed to straight up reject him so he could move on.”

“What?” Haechan exhaled in surprise, “You couldn’t have just told me she wasn’t into me!” He shoves Jaemin and Jaemin shoves him back and snickers.

“The time you stole Yangyangs money.”

“I saw him take it from a freshman. I gave it back to them.”

“When you skipped Chemistry for an entire semester.”

“That was the semester Yuna would not leave Renjun alone unless he had people around, I’d skip class so he wouldn’t be alone during lunch.”

“That’s why you’d eat lunch with me?” Renjun interrupts. 

Jaemin nods his head. “That girl was so fucking clingy, I figured you would like having a guard dog around for one period.”

Jeno laughs, “You did not just call yourself a guard dog.” Haechan starts to jokingly bark at Jaemin.

“I am one.” Jaemin smiles. “But see, I’m always right. So, we shouldn’t leave until all of us can leave together, okay?”

“Fine by me.” Renjun sighs.

“Jeno?”

Jeno is looking at his hands in his lap, smoothing out the wrinkles in his pants. “I don’t know, man.”

Jaemin scooches closer to Jeno, putting a hand on his knee. “Please, dude. For me?”

The breeze picks up, and Renjun can feel the hairs in the back of his neck sticking up. The wind rustles the trees surrounding the camp and the leaves fall into the camp. 

“Okay.” Jeno says.

Haechan interrupts the moment with his loud voice, “No one’s gonna ask me what I think?”

…

Mark watches Chenle pout and whine to Jisung about how unfair everything is. If the circumstances had been different, Mark would probably have even thought that Chenle looked cute. He would have leaned over and squeezed his cheeks affectionately, teased him about his complaining. Sadly, they were still in the middle of the first zombie apocalypse known to man, so the temper tantrum was more annoying than cute.

“Can you chill out, man?” Mark asks.

Chenle’s mouth opens in an “O,” seemingly shocked by Mark's statement. “I can’t believe you just said that to me!” he complains.

Jisung is trying his hardest not to laugh. Really, he is. He knows that there isn’t anything funny about Mark reprimanding Chenle or having an argument about potentially leaving someone behind to die, and yet he can’t stop the giggles that leave his mouth. This, in turn, prompts Chenle to start giggling too. Soon, they are both cackling, leaning onto each other for support. Chenle is doubling over in laughter and Jisung is hitting him on the back as he starts to wheeze. 

Mark can’t do anything else but watch. His face expression is contorted into one of confusion, his eyebrows pulled together and his mouth slightly open as if to ask a question. His face only makes the other two boys laugh harder. Mark sighs deeply and leaned back on his two hands. 

“Okay, okay,” Jisung says, wheezing between laughs, “We’re done.”

Chenles laughing lessens when he sees that Mark didn’t seem amused by their outburst. He didn’t mean to be annoying, but it felt like all his repressed emotions were starting to catch up to him. 

“This is serious,” Mark said.

Chenle scoffed, “You think I don’t know that? Tell me why I’m the only person that gives a fuck as to if one of our friends is okay?”

“Are they really our friend?” Jisung asks.

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?” Chenle says with eyebrows raised.

One of Mark's hands came up to rub his face, he really was struggling to keep his frustrations at bay. “We met them a couple days ago, Chenle. And they held a knife to my neck!”

“Maybe you only met them a couple days ago. But they’re in Jisung and my homeroom, they’re my friend.”

“Friend is a stretch, don’t you think?” Jisung says, “I mean, they sat all the way in the back and barely talked to anyone.”

“They’re my friend, okay?” Chenle was clearly becoming more irritated by their line of questioning, “Just because you didn’t talk to them doesn’t mean that I never did.”

…

Chenle was on his own. Usually, he and Jisung would sit outside their homeroom before class started, talking about basketball or the latest anime episode they had watched. But, Jisung was sick and wouldn’t be at school today and Chenle didn’t feel like talking to anyone else. So he figured he would walk into class early that day and just wait in his seat for the day to start. He figured that he could use some peace and quiet and he hoped to spend some time alone.

Except, he wasn’t alone. When he walked into the classroom, you were already in your seat. You barely acknowledged him as he walked to his seat in front of you, but he noticed the way your lips twitched up when he greeted you. 

The two of you coexisted for a while. Chenle had even pulled out some homework to do. He was erasing something when his arm bumped into his pencil and it fell onto the floor. When he bent over to pick it up, he noticed your own paper. Instead of working on homework, you had been drawing. There were swirls and geometric shapes intricately drawn across your paper. In the center there was a jellyfish.

“I, uh, like your drawing.”

Your head snaps up, not having realized that he had turned around and was watching you. You put your pencil down and rest your hand on your desk, covering up the majority of your drawing.

“It’s nothing.” You mutter.

Chenle shakes his head, “It’s not nothing. I think it’s cool. Do you like jellyfish?”

“It’s not a jellyfish,” you say rather dryly, “It’s a man-o-war.”

His head tilts to the side, wanting to get a better look at the drawing, “A man-o-what?” He’s still trying to look at the drawing when he hears a small laugh. His eyes drift upward towards your face, and he catches a glimpse of amusement on your face before it disappears again. A small smile spread on his own face, he was starting to like talking to you, even if you thought he was sort of dumb.

“A Portuguese man-o-war. Don’t worry, I’m not good at drawing and it gets confused for jellyfish all the time.”

… 

Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin are now laying side by side on the grass. They assumed that the other boys would join them when they finished having their own discussion but they had been laying there for a while. They were getting some looks from the people that would walk past them, but they don't mind. 

“Our lives are ruined, aren’t they? Renjun asks softly. The other boys don’t have an answer for his question but when he peeks at them from his spot on the ground, he can tell they’re thinking about what he said. It really did seem like their lives were over. All of their dreams and aspirations were thrown out the window. Renjun would never get to have a display of his art in a museum and his parents would never see why he was so sure about moving to Korea to work on his craft. In fact, he might not see his parents ever again. 

He blinked away tears before the boys could see them well up in his eyes.

…

You wake up feeling incredibly sluggish, fighting to keep your eyes from falling shut once again. You instinctively try to rub away the tiredness from your eyes but find that your wrists have been secured to the hospital-like bed that you are lying in. 

Memories start coming back to you: arriving at the camp after being attacked, being separated from the boys, and weird doctors and nurses. There is a faint beeping to the left of you, presumably some sort of machine that takes your vitals and an iv that is attached to your left arm. Your arm feels tired and sore and you begin to wonder if they have something else dripping into your bloodstream. 

Now, feeling more aware of your surroundings, you realize that you are no longer in the same room you were last in with the nurse. Although this room is similar, with the general feeling of being in a clinic or hospital, it is bigger. There is a curtain that blocks your view of half the room and you wonder if there is anyone in the room that isn’t visible to you. The room is devoid of any furniture, with the exception of your bed. There's a cabinet against the wall and a manila folder on top of it. Your fingers twitch, maybe you could figure out what these people wanted with you if you could just read that file that they had made about you. 

Your train of thought is interrupted by the sound of a door suddenly opening. The door is behind the curtain, so you aren’t able to see who has walked into the room, but you can see their feet from below the curtain. They are presumably a man wearing dress shoes, some sort of loafers. They are polished and squeak against the floor as he walks across the floor. A big hand reaches around the side of the curtain and pulls it back. You are faced with a middle aged man, wearing a white lab coat over a navy blue sweater and beige dress pants. He’s got glasses on and his hair is the only part of him that doesn’t look put together, like he’s been running his fingers through it too many times. 

He smiles when you make eye contact, an attempt to be polite, you presume, but do not give him the courtesy of smiling back or speaking with him. You stare at each other rather blankly for a second before he starts speaking. 

“I’m sure you must be very confused right now. My name is Lee Changsub, I'm the camp's main doctor.”

You continue to stare blankly at him. If he’s the main doctor, it’s likely that it’s his fault that you’re in this position to begin with. If he’s in control, there’s no use in trying to communicate with him, he’s only speaking with you because he wants something and the camp had made it very clear that they were willing to take whatever it is they wanted without consent, it was the government, of course.

He looks away for a second, wiping his palms on his coat and then awkwardly putting them into his coat pockets. How funny, a doctor made uncomfortable by a teen. 

“Do you, uh, wanna know why you’re here?” 

He fidgets as he waits for a response from you. He looks at you expectantly, but only receives a nod from you.

“Will you not speak to me? I’ve been told that you’re a bit abrasive.”

“Who told you that?” You ask sharply, “Miss Kang?”

His eyes widen a bit and his mouth opens and closes a couple times.

“Do you mean Dr. Kang?”

You roll your eyes, “Yes, Dr Kang.”

Changsub is clearly floored by your mockery, but it leaves you feeling confused. Are you the first person that they have strapped down against their will? Had he expected you to be in a good mood after what happened?

“What time is it?” you ask.

“I'm not sure,” Changsub says as he walks over to the cabinet, looking through the file. He seems to only skim the pages, glancing at you every once in a while. You revert back to silence. 

He leans a bit on the cabinet, suddenly becoming very comfortable. He puts his weight onto his arm that's on top of the counter and crosses his feet casually. You’re pretty sure you even see his lips twitch into a brief smile.

“This camp has been tasked with finding a cure to this spreading disease and you’re going to help me find it.”

…

tagging! @staysstrays, @caspervoid, @alyselenai, @lethephin, @leechipp, @rkiveruinz, @butterfliesinthenightsky, @olxviaaaa, @kikookii, @shley-chan, @kodzukena, @everytimeicrymytearsdonteverdry, @cocoishere

could not tag red

wanna be tagged? click here:)

a/n: hello,, thank you for reading this chapter! things are really gonna start picking up soon and im excited for you guys to read it! This chapter may feel like a lot of nothing lol, but i promise it's heading somewhere

[minminyoonjii]

#1 S-Class

[Stray Heart Untold Series]

❤️Ultimate Masterlist

💜Rules and Guidelines

💙Series Masterlist

🧭Next

🕯Summary:

Who knew rambling about a book you felt so passionate about could lead to an interaction like this.

🌹CW

Passionate Rambling|Honest Bickering|Wholesome|Dubious Ending

🍄Wordcount: 1K

"I like that one," a voice said behind you. Shivers ran down your back, "Ah, it's one of my favourites too," you said, confused on why you couldn't sense him. He chuckled, "It's unfortunate how it ends," he said, skimming through the array of books. You nodded in agreement, "Yeah," you sighed, rethinking the familiar ending. He grabs a book next to you, "What about it is unfortunate to you?" he asks, reading the book's back cover. 

"It's just upsetting that she threw all that unconditional affection for something comfortable," you huffed, facing the voice. He nodded, "But the book didn't even portray his reaction to the betrayal," he added, subtly trying to arrogate your expression. You furrowed your eyebrows, "I know but think about realistically, would you like getting tossed away in a blink as such?" you asked, holding back a glare. He laughed, "Touche," he said, picking up another book. 

You should've held back then but your thoughts split, "And besides, imagine giving up your all to someone and they just pull away because they were afraid," you grumbled before realising what you'd done. "Sorry," you blurted, covering your mouth. He shook his head, smiling, "There's nothing to apologise for, I admire that," he said, placing back the book he held. You raised an eyebrow, prompting him to continue his train of thought. 

He stifled a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, "I admire that you're passionate about what you believe in," he said, averting your gaze. Your cheeks burned, "Thanks, um," you said, hesitantly reaching out your hand. "Chan," he said, shaking your hand in response. You took a moment to eye his features, embarrassment running through you when you realised he was your exact type. He gulped, pointing at another book, "This one is less bittersweet," he said, breaking his hold on your hand. 

You giggled, noticing his burning ears, "Well, thank you once again, kind sir," you said, bowing slightly. He chuckled, "The pleasure was all mine, my lady," he said, playing along. Your giggles echoed between the bookshelves, creating an atmospheric moment. "Are you here often?" he asks, curious as to when he could see you again. You nod, "Every alternate day from Monday," you say, holding the book you chose. 

He beamed, "Great, till then, my lady. It looks like I'm needed elsewhere," he said eloquently. You giggled, "I had fun conversing with you, Sir Chan," you said, waving as he stepped back. "As did I, my lady," he said, waving back. "Holy shit," you whispered, feeling your heart pound from your chest. Jisung leaned against the shelves, "Who the hell was that?" he teased, a smirk etched on his lips. You flinched, "A stranger that liked the book," you huffed, walking past him. 

Jisung's smirk grew wider, "Wait, the book? The one you couldn't stop rambling on about?" he laughed. You rolled your eyes playfully, "The exact one," you said, feeling a twinge of pride. "I mean as long as you didn't scare the poor man away, you might still have a chance before Valentine," Jisung said, ruffling your hair. You glared at him, "It's not like that, he's just interesting," you mumbled, tightening your hold around the book.

Jisung sighed, "For a hero, you really do wear your heart on your sleeve," he said, shaking his head. "What's wrong with that?" you mumbled, crossing your arms. Jisung laughed, "Everything, imagine a hero forgetting their responsibilities after getting stood up at a blind date," he pointed out. You scoffed, "That was one time and it was only a D-class heist, I wasn't even needed on scene," you sulked, defending yourself. "Yeah, yeah," Jisung chuckled, rolling his eyes playfully.

A sigh escaped your lips, "I just want to fall in love, is that too much to ask," you said, setting the book down on the counter. Jisung pursed his lips, "I mean in this economy, you're better off getting into a contract relationship with Cheon-sa," he teased, opening the sign-out book for you to record. "Oh, and let me guess. We own three locations, one each and a shared one for family," you said, smiling at the ridiculousness of it all. 

Jisung snapped his fingers, "Exactly, and no offence darling but his type has cock," he said, tucking his hair back with both his hands. You busted out into giggles, "Yeah, and the type that is slightly above average with a slight curve at the tip and is girthy enough that your hands can't wrap around it," you teased, laughing harder at his appalled expression. "Well, fuck you for listing my best friend's type like a diner order," Jisung said, faking a scoff. 

You jutted your bottom lip, going behind the counter to hug him, "Aww, come on," you whined. He chuckled, biting his bottom lip, "Fine, I'll keep it a secret. But if you piss me off again, I’m using this as blackmail material," he grinned, petting your head. You giggled, "Deal," you cheered, squishing his cheeks. He whined, "Now the get fuck off me," he cursed, glaring at you. You smiled, grabbing a truffle from his chocolate stash, "Thank you, thank you," you sang, running out of the store. Jisung gasped, "I spent money on those!" he exclaimed, standing up. 

He sighed, pushing back his hair, "She's lucky I care about her well-being," he mumbled, walking towards the book cart. "Hello, love," someone said, wrapping their arms around Jisung's waist. "This is getting bad," Jisung chuckled, leaning back into the person's chest while rearranging the books. The person chuckled, "Oh? What do you mean by that?" they asked, nuzzling their face against Jisung's neck. 

"I no longer flinch when you hold me by surprise," Jisung said, squirming from how ticklish it felt. "Isn't that a good thing?" the person asks, kissing Jisung's temple. Jisung sighed, "It's bad when your bookstore is the safety hub for Seoul's SS-class hero," he explained, turning to face Minho's cheek grin. Minho cooed, "You and I both know, this bookstore is off-limits for hero/villain rivalry," he said, stroking Jisung's cheek. 

"I know but it's in my nature to worry, I practically raised her," Jisung groaned, burying his face into Minho's chest. "She'll be fine, love," Minho reassured, patting Jisung's hair. "But what if," Jisung mumbled, peeking up. Minho cooed, "She has more villains taking care of her than you think," he whispered, placing a kiss on Jisung's forehead. 

[vkooksupremacy]

Of the World : NCT Future

Masterlist

NCT X Male READER Platonic

Final Straw

After Y/N's mental breakdown, they decided to put the youngest leader on a 1 month hiatus.

Hello. This is SM Entertainment. After a recent incident concerning the mental health of NCT Future's leader, Y/N, we decided to put him on a month long hiatus.

We hope that during this time, you still support the group unwaveringly.

Thank you.

--> Thank god, he looked more exhausted than Taeyong and Mark these days

--> Aww noooo hope he's okay!

--> SM better treat my baby right 😤

Y/N smiled as he scrolled through the endless train of support he was recieving. He would still be with his members, just not participating in any of their activities.

"Hyung! The kitchens on fire!" Haewon screamed, and Y/N shot to his feet. This wasn't the first time. He quickly poured water on the stove, and relaxed, hearing a hissing sound from the fire burning out.

"Be careful next time." He grinned at his member, retreating back to his room.

The month passed by quickly and Y/N was thrown back into work. Obviously the fans were very happy to see him back.

"Hi Futurezens." Y/N began, the camera pointing to him. "As you know, I took a break from activities. Our CEO gave me permission to disclose it, feeling that the public would need the explanation."

"Our schedule ran from 6am in the morning to 10am at night. And being the leader I had meeting to go to. I barely had time to eat or sleep, and that was affecting my mindset. I have a habit of bottling up my emotions and... I guess... It took a toll on me... For the worse." Y/N could feel the lump in his throat getting bigger. "I had a breakdown... In the practice room. This is embarrassing but... All the members were there... Dream, 127, WayV, Future..."

"Thanks for watching this and bye." Y/N finished with a small smile on his face.

Soon after the video was posted, comments of appreciation for the young idol came flooding in.

Y/N fell asleep late as usual, waking up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for his members. However, when he arrived int he kitchen, he stopped.

"H-hyung, what're you doing?"

"You're going back to bed." Taeyong said firmly. "I'll take care breakfast. You're overworking yourself again."

"Hyung-"

"No." Taeyong said. "Bed."

Y/N turned around and went back to bed. He fell asleep, but woke up two hours later.

Dance practice was harder than usual for Y/N. The leader's body seemed to be telling him something, but he didn't give in. Only his best friend could tell something was up.

"Hyung, you need to rest." Junyong whispered, loud enough for only Y/N to hear. "You're overworking yourself. Taeyong Hyung told you already, didn't he?"

"I'm fine." Y/N dismissed, shrugging his jacket off. "Let's go for vocal."

Y/N was feeling more horrible by the hour. By 5pm, he was close to passing out.

At 6pm, he collapsed. Luckily, Junyong was near enough to catch him, the younger sliding across the floor to make sure Y/N's head didn't hit the ground.

"Call 127 and Dream Hyungs." Junyong told the maknae, who ran off. He returned ten minutes later, with 127 and Dream behind him. Taeyong and Jaehyun quickly knelt next to the unconscious leader, then Taetong looked up.

"Someone call the medics." He said. "I'm afraid something's wrong."

Medics arrived on the scene, and Y/N was quickly brought to the hospital.

[spaghettibaseddreams]

What remains of family Hwang part 1

a stray kids fanfiction inspired by the game "What remains of Edith Finch"

Description: Chan is a producer living in Melbourne that's currently suffering from a serious case of writers block. He stumbles upon an antique shop where he finds a journal and a key, these two objects send him off on a trip where he learns the unfortunate history of family Hwang.

(Readers can insert themselves as the character "Jin" who isn't decribed physically and are referred to by they/them pronouns, also I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes that I am bound to make.)

Chan would describe himself as quite a hardworker, he doesn't like procrastinating and wants to get things done days ahead so he doesn't have to worry about them later.

He's also quite good at what he does if he may so humbly add, so why in the name of god can he not come up with this beat? Sure he had started a few times but those were scrapped so fast since they felt so half-assed and Chan knows he can do better than that. The man swears that he can actively feel grey hairs appearing, not that they would be there for long since at this point he is so close to ripping it all off of his scalp.

"All right, enough!" He yells out in defeat, his voice ringing througout the walls of his home studio. He gets up from his shackles in the disguise of a comforting chair and stomps on out of the room, any longer in there and he might just stress cry and once he gets to that point his label can forget about the song.

He decides to have a nice, relaxing walk through the city, breathe in some of that totally fresh air. The sun shines brightly and very unwelcomingly for people whose wardrobe consists of various shades of black like Chans, curse him for thinking that nature would be kind to him. After strolling about for some time it starts to get way to hot to function and Chan is nowhere near his home, in search for his precious a/c he spots an antique shop which he deems good enough for his safe spot.

ringing of a bell sounds throughout the small shop signaling whoever works here that a customer has entered. The place is cluttered with dusty trinkets that vary in sizes, some shiny, some rusty, some a bit cracked and broken, all of them worn out by time.

While it all looks so messy and the dust is starting to tickle chan's nose, in some strange way he finds it comforting. What stories do these objects hold? What were the people that owned them like? How did their things end up here and would they be happy with it?

As he wonders all of this, walking around the shop he locks eyes with a book and a key next to it. Coming closer he reads whats written on the covers, "Hwang Jin".

"That's who the journal belonged to."

Chan jumps at the frail voice coming from behind him, his eyes meet a pair of dark glassy ones. "Hello dear, I'm Jasmir. Me and my husband own this lovely shop, if you need any help or questions please do ask."

The woman smiling up at him is an older lady with wrinkled tan skin and greyed hair covered with a shawl. Chan returns the smile and asks about the journal, "it was given away alongside that key by who we assume is a relative of the author, It's not exactly an antique but we still decided to keep it."

Returning his eyes back at the book he takes it into his hands, draging his thumb along the leather binder and rereading the name of the previous owner before taking a look at the key.

He thinks for a moment before nodding and turning towards Jasmir. "I'd like to buy the journal and the key."

after that transaction he heads home, this might help him with his writers block and even if it doesn't it should still be interesting to read traces of another persons life.

Once inside his home he sits at the sofa secured in his living room, setting the key at the coffee table and opening up the journal.

The first page starts with a dedication: "to my dear little brother Jeongin, remember you're not alone and that the people I've written about in this book are watching over you."

Small doodles can be spotted in the right corner of the page bringing a smile onto Chans face as he continues, flipping onto the next and being met with a family tree spanning throughout the two pages.

"The Hwangs"

Small portraits expand along the branches together with names and years that they were all born and died at, all except the two at the very top.

Jin  1985 - 2007

Jeongin  1990 -

This intrigued Chan, what happened to those two? Jin seems to have a death date but why was it scribbled over? And Jeongin could still be alive and well, how interesting.

Chan was stuck on this page for a while thinking of all the possibilities while also taking in the other family members, some of them died quite young. All of those faces smiling at him, drawn or not started to creep him out a little bit so he went to the next page.

On the right page there was text and on the left a detailed drawing of a big house, it appears as if they just kept building up giving the house an unsafe looking tower. Under the drawing was an adress, prompting Chan to get his laptop and search it.

it came up on google with pictures of the actual house which greatly resembled the drawing found in the journal, with the photos along came news articles on the family that lived there. Yet again he was met with the same family name "Hwang" as if haunting him, his eyes still stuck on the photos of the house.

it's located on French Island and no one currently lives there, last person that did was an old man named Hyunjin in the year 2000. After him it was abandoned, some people want it to be taken down since it's scaring children and tourists and they deem it unsafe, just waiting for it to fall apart.

There are also some other people that want it to stay untouched, claiming that the family which once lived there and the house itself mean a lot to them. While eccentric they were friends, they were welcoming and a big part of the community, without the house it wouldn't be the same and the memories it holds would be teared down as well.

Now a sane person after learning everything he just did would think "neat" and move on, but chan is currently not feeling all too sane and is instead finding milions of excuses as to why is would be a good idea to go there.

Like how he works from home so he doesn't need to worry about missing his work, or how this could possibly ressurect him from his mind numbing writers block.

And so he decides that, yes. He should totaly go to that house and posibly commit breaking and entering… Chan shakes his head at that thought. "it's not breaking and entering, I have the key."

With his head spinning in thought, Chan packs his duffel bag as if he's going on a lovely little camping trip and not losing his mind. Which he's not! Chan is just fine and only doing research on a very unique Korean-Australian family, his parents would be proud of their child for taking interest in something like that if they knew what he was up to. Totally.

And once he's ready, Chan gets behind the wheel of his rustic car and mentally prepares himself for a two and a half hour drive... "This is fine, it's for research." he reasures the angels on his shoulder, before the little demons fully take over.

The end, for now

next chapter

That's it for the first chapter, a bit short I know but they should get longer as we get more into the story. All in all I'm happy with his it came out, I hope you've enjoyed it too.

Also fun fact Christopher is the name of Edith jr's son (Edith is the main character in the game)

[kaysungshine]

Redamancy ['red-a-man-sE] noun ;a love returned in full

Part II out now!

{ Pairing } - idol!bangchan x staff!afab.reader (with a hint of bestfriend!jisung?)

{ Genre } - NSFW, the trifecta (s/a/f), frenimies to friends to lovers? idk but we'll get there in the end

{ Synopsis } - Han Jisung is your new bestie & technical colleague, of course you befriended the rest of his members. Group nights became a tradition, & tonight involves liquor and drinking games for the first time. Truth or drink?

{ WC } - 6.7k

{ Warnings & tags } - 18+ MDNI, NSFW, smut, angst, fluff, drinking, breath play (choking), swearing, dry humping, use of 'babygirl', mention of wet dream, talk of edging, talk of domming, talk of choking, talk of exhibitionism, all of ot8 is suggestive af when they drink, reader and jisung are PLATONIC I promise they're just touchy, they're all giggly drunks so overuse of laughing chuckling and giggling, chan is kinda dumb in this he just... is in denial land but we'll find out more about that later, unrealistic work scenarios, unrealistic dorm setup? idk lol

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated with the actual skz, and is a fictional piece. I DO NOT own Stray Kids, this fic is just influenced by them!

{ A/N } - Okay I know I took forever to post & this intro is hella long & I'm sorry! Once again, I will say this is my first skz fic. I come from the world of AO3 & dramione. I am out of my comfort zone lol. First time posting stories on tumblr too! So if I missed anything please let me know <3 there will be a part 2, I've already started writing it! The plot is weak af, but gimme a few more stories and I'll find my groove. Promise! Unbeta'd, be gentle with me ♡

It was supposed to be a relatively chill Saturday night, so you were excited. You just got off work, and had arrived at Jisung's. He swung the door open smiling and pulled you inside, into an immediate hug. Everyone said their greetings, and then Jisung went immediately to whining.

"Finally, what kept you so late?"

You took your shoes, mask, sunglasses, and hat off, letting your curls fall down your back. Then you unzipped your sweatshirt, shrugging it off your shoulders and exposing your fitted white tee. You gave your jacket and bag to Ji so he could put them away. You always arrived in 'disguise', in baggy clothing so that no one suspected anything. Though you thought it was ridiculous. It doesn't matter how baggy the sweat pants or hoodie is, there's no hiding the curve of your ass.

You were a content editor at JYPE, and had become really good friends with Han Jisung. Friendships between idols and staff certainly aren't forbidden, in fact they're encouraged to an extent... as long as no lines are crossed. But it's pretty much an ignored rule. Anyways, you were a small 'behind-the-scenes' employee, not a manager or assistant or makeup artist. Not anyone directly involved with any idols. No one off the street knew who you were. Still, over the last almost year or so, you and him became besties. You frequently shared meals together at work, had sleepovers, you even went camping. You were basically glued to each other. It could easily be taken the wrong way by the media and fans. Hell, it gets taken the wrong way by co-workers, other idols, and even his group members. Although they've mostly accepted that's not the case. It's a given with the way you two act though.

Your relationship is definitely platonic, confirming pretty early on that neither of you felt anything more than friendly love for each other. But you both love teasing the other suggestively. You suppose that's partly why you two got so close so quickly. Your personalities are so similar, it's like you share the same singular brain cell sometimes.

"Editing, per usual." You finally reply with a sigh, "We had to cut A LOT out of nexz's new video. They're so high energy, they slip up a lot, especially with the swearing, but nothing we can't handle."

"Gotta love kids." Chan snorts while sipping a beer.

You smile awkwardly in response and look around the room. Everyone is here, all with their preferred beverages, and chatting away or scrolling.

Ji comes back with a drink for you, he knows you're partial to tequila and always keeps it on deck. Normally, you spend every weekend you can together, which sometimes is not as often as either of you would like. Sometimes you'd both head back to your place, and just have all nighters, binge watching anime and gorging yourselves on junk food. More recently, like tonight, you get invited over to hang with him and the rest of the boys.

It usually results in a few drinks and a movie, or talk about work. Sometimes you just play music and talk and vibe, or try to cook food together when you get the munchies... Which more than likely results in Minho taking over because he just can't help himself. However the nights play out, they're always fun, and you're gradually getting closer to the rest of the members too. Although no one can compare to the bond you have with your Jiji.

"I don't wanna watch a movie tonight, my eyes hurt too much." He starts complaining.

"Poor baby." You tease and run your fingers through his hair, laughing.

"When are you two just going to come out with the fact that you're in love?" Seungmin asks.

You roll your eyes, "When dwaekki's fly."

"I can easily make that happen." Changbin laughs.

"We could play a game?" Felix suggests, already looking flushed from the alcohol.

Jeongin gets excited, "Let's do a drinking game! It's been a while."

"I don't believe I've ever played a drinking game with y'all."

Hyunjin hums, "Mm, you haven't. Mostly because we get crazy, we've never brought up the idea."

This piqued your interest, "More crazy than I've already seen? I don't think that's possible."

Minho chimes in this time, "You forget we're a group of men sometimes, I swear. Mix alcohol and suggestive games, it definitely gets 'crazier' than you've seen, inappropriately crazy."

You level him with a smirk, "I'm down."

"That's my y/n!" Ji says, while pulling you to sit in his lap, "Fearless."

You giggle and lean into him while Minho just narrows his eyes at you and purses his lips. Something tells you he's up to something, but you're ready for any challenge.

"Fine. Then we'll play something easy, truth or drink. If someone refuses to answer, they drink. Whoever finishes their drink first loses." Minho says.

"What does the loser have to do?" You ask.

"Pay for everyone's lunch every day for a month!" Changbin says.

"Deal." You say. 

You're an open book, Ji knows this. There's no question you won't answer.

Everyone is up now, getting new drinks & refills before the game starts. You can't help but notice that Chan didn't get up, he looks a little nervous for some reason. He was always the most worried about you being around so much. In the beginning it definitely came across like he didn't like you. Now you know that's not the case... you think. He tolerates you now to say the least. You couldn't blame him too much, he was just protective of his boys. You actually found it incredibly sweet, or maybe it's just that stupid soft spot you have for him.

He always tried to keep you at arms length from the group. Not wanting anyone to get too close to you. Until Jisung put him in his place, as best he could anyways.

You were in Ji's lap, watching Spirited Away. He was drawing imaginary lines and shapes on your back, while you rested your head on his shoulder, facing the tv. His head was resting on top of yours as well, and a blanket covered you both.

Chan walked in seeing this, and nearly had a stroke. He said we were being inappropriate. And specifically made it a point to tell you to be more professional as a member of the staff. Short version: know your fucking place, you're overstepping. 

You scoffed at him, prepared to confront him about his growing disdain towards you. Let him know he's the one being inappropriate, downright childish. But Ji nudged you onto the couch and got to him first.

It was kind of cute watching him standing there, ears becoming red and getting in Chan's face. Cute in the way that it was like a maltese puppy trying to stand up to a doberman. Then he proceeded to yell at him about how he was way out of line. Saying he was being flat out disrespectful and that he was done with the ridiculous way he has been acting about you. The last thing he said was that he didn't know what got into him, and that he'd never seen this side of Chan before. 

Chan was silent, looking intensely into Jisungs eyes. But he never backed down, so Chan poked his tongue to his cheek, then retreated to his room for the whole night. You had to scoop Ji off the floor right afterwards. He had let his knees buckle, and fell to the floor once Chan was gone. Citing that he wasn't sure he was going to live through the night to see the morning sun. Typical dramatic fashion for your best friend. But you soothed him, fluffing up his ego about 'defending your honor'. His words, not yours.

As that night went on though, the tiniest bit of worry coursed through you. Chan hadn't come back out. Not even when the other members came home, trying to knock on his door to greet him. Or when the food was ready to be served, you had even given knocking a try. Only after Hyunjin begged you to, because 'He already doesn't take care of himself. He needs to eat.' No, you didn't see him again that night until you had already walked out the front door. He slipped out behind you shortly after, grabbing you by the wrist and stopping you. 

You thought he was going to continue the argument for a moment, but no, he was apologizing. Not much more was said afterwards, but his apology was genuine and heartfelt, so you accepted it. You two ended up hugging it out, and thank goodness no one saw that, because it was incredibly cringeworthy. He had no more major issues after that. But he was still unexplainably awkward around you, but it's not like you were any better. You two simply didn't know how to interact with each other for longer than 30 seconds. And that was pushing it. You suspected that might not ever go away. He likes to keep his walls high and strong, and you're stubborn at times.

But of course,  despite that stubbornness. You developed some sort of feelings towards him. Feelings you refused to acknowledge, well tried to refuse. You would push those feelings down deep within your heart, put them in a little box, and tape it shut trying to forget it's there. There was no need to pine over the man, he had stay to do that for him, and who knows who else in his life. Somehow that box always ended up ripped open again.

There was never a reason to act on these feelings. Not to mention, you think you'd be breaking SO MANY rules. Putting your job, his job, hell everyone's job at risk. Or worse, making a fool of yourself when he would downright reject you.

You keep watching him, now he's shaking his leg up and down, seeming agitated. Maybe he just doesn't want everyone getting into a vulnerable state of mind while playing? Maybe he's worried somebody will say or do something wrong? That someone will cross a line, as he loves to say?

Trying to ease his negative feelings, and extend yet another olive branch. You toss a throw pillow at him, hitting him in the chest and pulling him out of his thoughts.

He looks at you, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, and you just chuckle nervously at him saying, "Don't worry, it's like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"God how fuckin' corny was that?" Ji teases you, poking your side making you giggle more.

To your relief, Chan is laughing with you, and shaking his head, "I just want them to behave."

"Oh relax, we're all grown. We're all friends. So we'll get to know each other more intimately, big whoop." You shrug.

"Mmm..." He replied, before raising his voice so everyone could hear him, "Whatever is spoken about tonight, doesn't leave this room."

"I swear you're the one with anxiety sometimes, not me." Ji mumbles.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... dad." Hyunjin says as he sits next to you and Ji.

"As if that announcement even had to be made, I swear, and you wonder why we call you old." Seungmin comments.

Once everyone is settled in with their drinks, Minho directs Chan to start the game.

"Jisung, when was the last time you cried?"

He laughed, "You're trying to embarrass me because you know it was this morning, but I am confident and secure in the fact that I am a sensitive man."

He said the last bit with his hand over his heart, and his eyes closed, effectively making everyone chuckle.

"My poor baby, why were you crying?" You question teasingly.

"Please don't bring it up, he'll start blubbering all over again. Stupid, sad, dog rescue videos." Seungmin mumbles.

"Minho!" Ji shouts, pointing at him dramatically, "This question is for you. If you had to kiss someone in this room on the cheek, who would it be?"

"Hyunjin." He said bluntly, making you and everyone else laugh while Hyune just rolled his eyes.

"Would you kiss me back?" He asked him, eyes full of hope and bottom lip jutted out and pouting, trying to act cute. And succeeding, honestly.

Hyunjin acted like he was pondering the question, but ultimately was the first to take a sip from his glass, "I decline to answer."

He looked to you next, a suggestive smirk on his face, making you the next victim, "Y/niiieee..."

"Oi, be respectful." Chan scolds immediately, not liking the look at all.

"All I was going to do was repeat the question!" He said defensively, "Y/n, if you had to choose, who would you kiss on the cheek?"

You tried hard to keep your eyes from trailing over to Chan, a tingly feeling spreading across your skin at the mere thought of innocently kissing his cheek. Instead you chose the easy answer, because it wasn't a lie. You'd also kiss your best friend on the cheek any time.

"My Jiji of course," And you took his face in one hand, squeezing his cheeks between your middle finger and thumb, and plant a loud smooch on each of them, "he probably only asked because he wanted one anyways."

He just chuckles, letting you baby him and Seungmin fake gags.

"Minnieee..." You pause trying to come up with a question, "when you dye your hair next, what color would you want?"

"Green, my entire head green."

"That would look interesting." You laugh.

You all go 'round in circles for a few rounds, completely forgetting about the rules of the game. Having now finished your glasses from casually sipping throughout the game, most of you have switched to occasional shots. You're starting to feel warm and tipsy. Of course the more you all drank, the more the questions started to get more... amorous. Which is exactly how you all assumed this game would go. No wonder Chan was so anxious.

However looking over to him now, he's definitely having a good time. Like every other person, he loosens up while drinking, but tonight he seems even more so.

"Y/n," Chan starts with a sly look making your skin buzz again. Among all of you, he is 100% the most inebriated right now, "when was your first kiss?"

"Yah! He tells us to be respectful, but look how he is after a few drinks!" Changbin yells laughing.

Chan loses it, "You're right Binnie, you don't have to answer or drink." He says in between fits of squeaky laughter. 

You think you could listen to him laugh all day.

You shake your head and snort, "I've answered worse questions playing this game before. I was 13 when I had my first kiss."

Hyunjin nearly spits his drink out, because again, no one is drinking just as punishment anymore, "13?!"

"Well, yeah, it's a pretty normal age in America... I think..." you started to blush, "why, how old were you?" you ask Hyunjin.

He hesitates, but eventually he spoke, "I was 18."

The rest chime in saying they were also 18 or 19. With the exception of Felix who said he was 16.

Without even thinking you start to say, "Aaah, see I was 18 when I-" and you're abruptly stopped with Ji's hand slapping over your mouth.

Your eyes go wide, caught off guard, but understanding as you almost blurted out unnecessary information. Nothing that Ji hadn't known obviously, it's just that everyone else doesn't really know you on that level. 

"Jagi, you only had to answer the one question, adding extra info, that's not how you play the gaaaaame." He says in a sing-song voice, "Hyunjin it's your turn to ask someone."

"No no no no! What was she going to say?" Chan chuckles.

When you looked at him, he winked at you, and you had to stop yourself from going limp in Ji's arms. He knew damn well what you were going to say. Why is he teasing, no torturing you like this?

You peel Ji's hand off your mouth to respond "It's not your turn, you'll have to wait to ask me that."

The group starts laughing and shouting, teasing Chan who is ignoring it all, just staring at you with curious eyes and his tongue in his cheek. Does he know how hot he looks doing that?

"Okay, so then I'll ask you. What were you going to say?" Hyunjin asks calmly, trying to fight the smile off his face.

You pour yet another shot, and knock it back thinking, what the hell, "I was going to say I was 18 when I first hooked up with a man."

Some members looked surprised, the game taking an obvious turn. However Hyunjin, Felix, and Chan started laughing again.

"I knew that's what you were going to say." Felix slurred. 

"Yeah I was definitely teasing you on that, because I knew." Chan followed.

"Mmm, well judging from the shocked faces of everyone else, you two seem to be the only psychics." You try to joke, wanting the attention off of you suddenly.

"No, don't get us wrong, not all of us are as innocent as you think." Seungmin says defensively.

"Oh really now?" You respond, one brow quirking up.

Seungmin just turned red, and sat back in his seat. To which Chan started laughing, yet again. He's a giggly drunk, and you love it.

"Don't tease my puppy, babe." Ji slurred, trying to reach his arm to console Seungmin, but ultimately failing.

"I mean I was 18 too, with the same girl I first kissed." Hyunjin shrugged.

"But what do you mean 'to a man'?" Jeongin asked with a shit eating grin on his face. 

You promptly turned into a tomato, and started choking on air.

"You're not that slow pabo, obviously it means she's been with women too." Ji says, rather loudly and speaking freely, all while patting your back.

You're quiet. It's not like it's a secret, you've never hidden your sexuality. But it never came up in conversation with anyone here, except Jisung.

Wanting to ease the tone, Felix speaks up, "Well I was 18 when I first hooked up with a dude."

"I was 21, but everyone already knows that story." Ji slurred.

The whole conversation triggers another group laughing fit. Except for Chan, who is looking at you with those dark eyes again. And... is he blushing? Or is that the alcohol? He eventually snaps out of whatever daze he was in, and slowly smiles at you reassuringly.

You mentally kick yourself for getting your hopes up, of course he couldn't ever think of you like that. You're imagining things.

"But then, how old were you when you first hooked up with a girl?" Jeongin asked again, genuinely curious.

"A lot younger than 18..." You trailed off laughing, "I'll just say in high school."

"The air is different outside of Korea." Changbin says suddenly, sounding thoughtful.

Hyunjin nearly collapsed laughing, slapping Minho on the knee repeatedly, despite the glare he was shooting him.

"Well I just answered a bunch of questions in a row so that means I get to ask two people a question. And the second person I ask gets the next turn." You say, making up new rules. 

"So... Chan." He looks at you with his eyebrows raised and you just smirk, knowing you're trying to get back at him, "How old were YOU when you lost your virginity?"

He gulps and looks around at the group before answering, "I... was 18."

"Chan-hyung, you never answered us when we would ask you! Why answer her?" Jisung whines.

"I honestly don't know, maybe it's the liquor. None of you ever asked me drunk." He starts giggling.

"Okay so question 2... Binnie!" He gulps and looks at you with wide eyes, "Are you more of a boob guy?" You say grabbing your own, not even really thinking about it, "Or an ass guy?"

Changbin started laughing and answered, "Definitely ass, but I appreciate boobs too, equality."

"I am just learning so much about my fellow members lately." Seungmin whispers.

"Is that a bad thing?" You giggle.

"Not at all, it feels strangely comforting, letting loose like this." He replies and smiles softly at me, "It's been a while."

"It's freeing!" Jeongin yells abruptly, throwing his hands in the air.

"Aye, my question is for you then Min. Have you ever had a wet dream?" Changbin asks.

"... what guy hasn't? Don't all guys get them?" He asks looking around.

Then you chime in again frankly, "Girls can get them too you know."

Why does it feel like you've opened pandora's box on your sex life, in every single aspect?

Ji starts laughing, nodding his head vigorously and you know where this is about to go.

"Really now?" Felix says, mimicking your exact tone from earlier, "What was it about?"

"Mmmm... it's not your turn to ask," Then you turn to Seungmin, "And if you ask me, I will absolutely drink and not answer. No way I'm explaining a sex dream right now."

Seungmin just rolls his eyes and huffs out a laugh.

"But I wanna knooooooow," Jisung whines, "You looked so cute having one last weekend, you never told me what it was about."

Everyone was watching you two closely now, waiting to hear how he knew what you looked like in that situation.

You turned around and smacked his arm, "We weren't going to mention that ever again! Remember?!" You attempt to be angry, but you can't help it and end up smiling.

"Okay, well now I'm curious since you two are bringing this up." Minho says with a glint in his eye.

"Y/n may or may not have had one when I slept over, and I woke up to her moaning and hump--"

This time it was your turn to slap a hand over his mouth, "Jiji, Sungie, my love, my sweet sweet SWEET best friend. I don't want to kill you, but I will." You say in a dulcet tone.

He raised his hands, eyes wide and nodded his head. You couldn't help but laugh, apparently you're a giggly drunk too.

Out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Chan adjusting himself in his pants. But then you reminded yourself that it was just wishful thinking and an alcohol induced hallucination. Horny hallucination. God you needed to get over him and under someone else. This unrequited shit wasn't for you.

"I'm so never going to drop this you know, I wanna know what the hell happened." Minho smirked at you, to which you flipped him off jokingly.

It's Seungmin's turn next, and he's just staring at Jeongin with a blank face, "Have you ever had a one night stand?"

He pauses for a moment and then finally answers, "No, I haven't."

He looked at you now, asking his question, "You know what I have to ask now, right?"

"Go ahead." You challenge, fully prepared to choke down another shot and not answer his question, and he smiles.

"What's one of your kinks?"

You were unprepared for that question. And how could you know he would ask that, these men like to fuck around with your head.

"Relax, I just wanted to see your reaction." He says before chuckling.

You glared at him for a moment, halfheartedly. They think they can just retract questions when they get scared that they went too far. Screw that, you're answering.

"I guess the most simple one I have is edging." You shrug.

"The most simple one?!" Hyunjin asked.

"What are you a masochist? Edging is the worst, feels like torture to me." Ji says.

"But the build up is so delicious, and the end result is so worth it. It's so intense." Felix chimes in, "Choking too, that can be intense." 

"Hm, breath play might actually be my favorite." You admit.

"Damn y/n." Ji says, eyeing you with a smile, "You're full of surprises, even to this day." 

You shrug again, "Everyone has different kinks... What's one of yours?" You ask him.

He ponders for a moment, "I like being dommed sometimes."

"Big surprise." Minho says and you all laugh.

"Good one though," You nod, "That's one of mine too."

"I think I'm an exhibitionist, to an extent of course." Hyunjin says next.

"That's also not a surprise." Minho replies.

You can't help but let your eyes wander over to Chan again, while everyone else is sharing different things they're into in bed. The liquor has everyone speaking loosely. But Chan doesn't seem to care about it anymore.

You find him staring right back at you, that same look in his eyes from earlier, and you feel heat spread in your stomach, and wetness starts to pool in your panties. Maybe you weren't imagining things.

But you don't notice that Ji's observing both of you in his drunken haze. Not too faded to ignore you and Chan eye-fucking each other.

Your heart starts racing the longer you hold eye contact, and you start shifting uncomfortably on his lap, before looking away and deciding to get up.

"Alright... I need some bread to soak up this alcohol, and then I need to get home because it's already 2 in the morning." You say with a shaky breath.

"Yeah, I'm wasted right now," Jeongin says and stands, "Bed's a good idea. Goodnight everyone." And he leaves to his room.

Ji grabs your wrist, preventing you from moving, "You're not going anywhere. We're all drunk, you can't drive and no one can bring you back home."

"Fiiiiiiine," You say, "but I still want bread."

"You and your bread fixation whenever you drink." Minho mumbles, heading to the kitchen anyways to grab you some.

When he comes back he hands it to you and you start munching away happily, doing a little dance.

Meanwhile, Felix is trying to tug Chan's arms to make him stand up, but he's fighting him on it and whining. Clearly he exceeded his limit tonight drinking. He probably won't even remember the looks he was giving you, you think.

"I don't wanna go to bed." Chan whines.

Felix finally succeeds in pulling him up, "C'mon mate, you definitely need to sleep this off. You'll be miserable tomorrow. Let's get you some water too, hmm?"

Chan reluctantly holds his arm, and follows him down the hall, stumbling over his own two feet along the way. You can't help but laugh at the sight.

More of the boys say goodnight and head off to their rooms, but Ji and Minho stay with you in the living room, chatting a little longer before bed.

Ji starts going through his bags, determined that you left some pajamas here from when you slept over previously, and he kept them in a bag to give back to you. He pulls out the nightie, that you honestly forgot you brought here. But you see why you didn't ever wear it at the time. It's dark green, spaghetti straps and has lace along the bust line. It also has slits on each side of your thigh, and only covers you to the middle of your thighs. Your go to sleepware was always nighties or large tees, they're comfortable and sometimes you get hot at night. Mix in the fact that you were drinking tonight? You're already feeling overheated. But wearing this?

"Jiiiiiii, don't you have any t-shirts I can wear?" You whine.

He's already under the covers, fighting sleep, "Sorry babe... haven't done laundry... Nothing clean..."

You whine again before taking it and heading across the hall into one of the bathrooms. It was this or sleep in your sweats, and that idea sounded entirely too suffocating to you.

You slip the nightie on and brush your teeth with your designated toothbrush you had there. Jisungs idea, after you had too much tequila one night and he diligently held your hair back as you got sick.

You sigh as you're leaving, and make your way towards Ji's room. Before you reach the door though, Chan walks out of his room. He's in a black tank top, and red boxer briefs... your eyes immediately trail down and go wide. His outline clear as day. But you change your view quickly, hopefully before he notices.

It doesn't help though, now all you're doing is eyeing his arms, the muscles cut throughout them. The veins that trail all the way down to his hands. God, his hands... What wouldn't you let those hands do to you...

He scratches the back of his head, and the movement snaps you out of your gaze. You find him staring back at you for a second before answering, "Sorry, I'll just..."

You start to shake your head, "No, no. No reason to apologize." You chuckle and start shifting on your feet. You feel the skirt of your nightie swaying with you. It opened the slit wider, and Chan immediately looked down at your exposed thigh. He inhaled quietly, sucking in air through his nose.

Any other day, you'd be scrambling to cover yourself. Feeling insecure and too bare. You don't know if it was the liquor in you, but tonight? Being on display? It turned you on.

You clenched your thighs together, almost involuntarily, and Chan didn't miss that.

Time seemed to be moving too slow. He stepped towards you, nearly closing the gap between you. He's only inches away, and looking down on you. His eyes have that dark, smoldery look again. He raised his hand and brushed the curls off your face and behind your ear. When he rests his palm against your cheek, your eyes flutter shut and you lean into his touch. It's so warm, and comforting. As if it was always meant for you.

When you open your eyes, you can clearly see the lust in his is only growing. He's not holding it back anymore, biting his lip as he stares at you. You almost whimper in anticipation.

"This is your opportunity to walk away if you're not okay with me kissing you." He says lowly.

You closed your eyes, and his lips met yours. The first few seconds were sweet and soft. Almost too innocent for the heat of the moment, but then he deepened it. He was pulling you by the waist into him, running his hands down and resting them on your ass. You could easily feel how hard he was for you, even through the thin fabrics. This time you let the whimper out, and he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. When you tried to do the same, he didn't give you the chance. Instead he slipped his tongue in. It was like he was lost in desire, and greedy for more. You couldn't help it when your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

He groaned and started backing you into the wall, his lips never leaving yours. He grabbed your thighs in each hand, and hoisted you up, slotting himself between them. Your legs naturally wrapped around him, and he started rocking his length against you. His pace was achingly slow, but still delicious.

You moaned and slipped a hand up to the nape of his neck, grabbing a fistful of hair. He breaks the kiss and throws his head back with his eyes closed. He half hisses, half groans, and you can't help but rock your hips against him harder, hoping to hear more. He grips your thigh tighter, and leans down to press a quick kiss to your neck, before licking and sucking on it. He's meeting each roll of your hips with rough thrusts. And even clothed, you feel how perfectly he's rubbing your clit.

Your head is so clouded with need. Need to be touched. Need to touch him. Need to feel him inside of you. You don't even think twice when he glides his hand up your stomach, and over your breasts. He gives one a light squeeze before moving up to wrap his fingers around your neck, and your brain loses all sense for a moment.

He's just resting his hand there, but you wish he'd do more. You're not sure if this man knows just how pliant you are for him right now.

Then he brings his lips to your ear and whispers, "Can I touch you?"

His warm breath gives you chills, and you nod your head as best as you can. But that doesn't suffice him, he stops his movements against you and his grip around your throat tightens. You think you could probably get off on it if he tightens his fingers just a bit more, but he doesn't, instead he says, "I'm going to need words, babygirl."

Your hips buck into him, and you breathe out a quiet "Yes. Please..."

With that, he yanks your face closer to his by your neck. He's squeezing ever so slightly tighter around your throat. He bites your lip and you groan. But he's quick to silence you with his tongue.

Letting go, he trailed his hand back down your body and to your core. Slowly he started to rub you through the thin lace. You were so sensitive, that when he found your clit and pressed a circle into it. You couldn't help but breathe out his name. He pushed your panties to the side, and when he felt you for the first time you felt him smile against your lips.

"Babygirl... fuck, you're so wet for me." 

And as he whispered that, he slipped a finger in you. He set a steady pace, dragging against your walls with a curl. Each pump hitting your sweet spot, and the heel of his hand creating delightful friction against your swollen bud. His breathing was heavy in your ear, breaking through all your helpless whimpering. When he added a second finger, you couldn't hold back anymore.

"Chan..." You moaned louder this time, while simultaneously letting your head drop against the wall with a thud.

He pulled his lips off of you, eyes wide when he met yours. He started blinking as if he was coming back to reality. When he looked into your eyes again, he looked startled.

"What's wrong?" You pant, feeling hot and dizzy, wishing he would keep moving his hands.

Instead, he quickly slips his fingers out of you, and sets your feet on the floor. Then he backs away.

"I'm sorry, y/n... I don't know what came over me, that was incredibly inappropriate and out of character." Chan mumbled.

Your heart sinks, as you feel the sting of rejection. Tears threatened to well in your eyes, and you immediately felt the oncoming headache from holding them back. You shouldn't feel so emotional and upset. This was all spur of the moment. But you do, you feel devastated.

Regardless, you clear your throat, "I understand." You force an unsettling chuckle out, when a sob threatens to escape instead.

He puts on a blank face that feels so cold, and responds with "Don't forget to drink some water, stay hydrated... I'll be heading to bed now, you should too."

All you really want to say is don't leave, because you want to finish what was started. Because you've wanted this for so long. Because the box you kept away in the depths of your heart had ripped open once again. And all the languished emotions were here, front and center, aching to bear it all to him. To let him see. Confess. But that would be selfish, he's clearly uncomfortable with it all. He probably regrets it. An alcohol induced affair. In his eyes, a complete mistake. 

So instead you say, "Okay."

Because that's all you can muster before the tears start to fall. You turn away,  going back to facing Ji's door. 

"Goodnight y/n... Sleep well." He says, and puts a tentative hand on your shoulder.

You shrug it off, and escape to Ji's bedroom. To your surprise he's sitting up in bed, and ushering you come to him with his arms open and bottom lip pouted out.

You run to him, a bit dramatically and fall a part in his arms. But you can't help it, you sealed these emotions away for too long. You were too hurt at the moment to even try pushing them back down.

Jisung is your life saver, he's comforting you, rubbing his fingers on your scalp and rocking you back and forth to try and calm you. He gives you time before you have to explain why exactly you're having a melt down.

"Chan's an idiot." He finally says.

And you lean back to look at him, confused on how quickly he's put two and two together.

"Well you weren't exactly quiet. Between your exaggerated moans and his animalistic grunting right outside my door, of course I heard it." He rolled his eyes jokingly and that earned a laugh from you.

You smacked him lightly, "I was lost in the moment... don't judge me."

"Jagi..." He says, and wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, "You've liked him for so much longer than a moment."

Your heart starts pounding faster again. How could he know that. It's the one thing you've kept from him, from everyone, hell you even denied it to yourself for as long as possible. Was it that obvious? Who else knows? You go to speak, fear written across your face.

"No. You were not obvious, in fact you're an amazing actor. I'm sure none of the other members noticed, and definitely no one else at work knew." He answers before you can even get words out.

You nod slowly, "So then, how'd you know?"

He smiled proudly, "I'm a people watcher, I see all."

You smack him again, a little harder this time.

"Alright, alright, but I really did see all the looks you'd give him when no one else was watching... I know what longing looks like, and..." he trailed off.

You knew that wasn't all, "And?"

"Aaaaand... maybe that night you had that wet dream. You were moaning his name while humping the pillow..."

"You never told me that!" You shoved your head into your hands, distraught.

"Well I didn't want to embarrass you! I honestly didn't think you looked at any of us that way until then. Like I said, a good actor. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready to."

You sighed, "I'm sorry. It's just a stupid crush, it'll pass."

"You're grown, you don't have to apologize to anyone for liking someone. But y/n," He cupped your cheek forcing you to look at him again, "this isn't just a simple crush, is it?"

With that question, you felt the tears spilling all over again. He pulled you to lay down with him, holding you tight against him and letting you cry it all out. Somewhere between his low humming, and your quiet weeping, you fell asleep.

When you blink the sleep away from your eyes the next morning, you're still entangled with Ji. He's literally wrapped around you like a koala.

You snort out a laugh and go to check the time on your phone. 7:30 am, entirely too early. You decide to try and fall back asleep, but last night's events rush back to you. Dread fills your chest, and your fight or flight kicks in. You're trying to gently escape Ji's hold, and not hyperventilate. The latter is more difficult but, since that man can sleep through anything, you were able to succeed.

You get changed back into your clothes, and leave a note for him saying that you're leaving and you'll text him when you get home. You can't bear to face Chan, let alone anyone else who might've heard you two last night. So you decide to skip out on the usual coffee and breakfast routine. You all have that tradition after a drunken night, but you know Ji will cover for you with everyone anyways.

You're rushing down the hall, wanting to grab your things and head for the door. Panic is starting to bubble over, and you're haphazardly covering yourself up to be unnoticeable. As you're slipping the mask over your face, a voice stops you.

"Morning... don't you want to stay for breakfast?"

You can't bring yourself to look at Chan, those words only setting the box of emotions in your heart on fire. You know he only means it in the way that it is an unbroken tradition. No matter how sick one of you gets, group breakfast is a must for recuperation. No one has skipped it in the months you've been doing it. We all take care of each other. But the idea makes your mouth bitter, because you wish it was just you two. Alone. Making breakfast the morning after earth shattering sex. And the fact he doesn't mean it in that way in the slightest makes tears prick back into your eyes.

Yes, you know you're being petty. You should stick it through for your friends. Take a page from Chan and act like nothing ever happened. You just can't find it inside you to care, you need to go home and lick your wounds before facing anyone here again. Call it childish, but you didn't care.

You're struggling to find words and just blurt out, "No thanks." And rush out the door, heading to the safety of your car.

You left Chan standing there. Unbeknownst to you, hurting just as much.

Special thank you to @jeonginsleftcheek who encouraged me through finishing this! I had finished it, and then accidentally deleted the entire ending. But in turn, that was a good thing I think... because now there'll be a part 2! If you'd like to be added to a taglist, let me know and I'll start one! Feedback is always cherished, but be gentle pleeeeeeeease ♡

[dreamescapeswriting]

So Whipped ~ BC

⤜WORD COUNT: 1.2K (Sorry its so short!<3)

⤜PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader x the boys? (platonic)

⤜GENRE: fluffy, falling asleep around the boys, the boys wanting to tease you but chan is being a cute protective boyfriend and steps in before they have the chance

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - July 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

The living room of the dorms was bathed in a soft, warm glow from the string lights draped around the windows, casting a cosy ambience over the scattered blankets and empty popcorn bowls. The credits of the final movie rolled silently on the TV screen. Still, the faint hum of the fridge and the occasional car passing by outside were the only sounds filling the quiet room. The boys stretched a little but Felix stayed perfectly still not wanting to move you yet. You were laid nestled on the oversized sectional, your head resting on Felix’s shoulder, your breathing slow and steady. 

"How did she even sleep through your screaming?" Jisung teased as he glanced over at the two of you. You'd fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of the sixth movie the 8 of you decided to watch, exhaustion finally taking over. Felix glanced down at you, a small smile tugging at his lips. Carefully, he adjusted the blanket to cover you a little better, making sure that you were as comfortable as possible before he slid out from under your grasp. 

Across the room, Chan stretched his arms above his head, letting out a yawn as he looked over at you. His perfect little girlfriend was already sound asleep, which meant getting you back to your shared apartment was going to be harder than ever since he wouldn't have the heart to move you.

  “Guess we wore her out,” he chuckled softly, trying not to disturb the serene moment. His eyes softened as he watched you snuggling into the blanket, letting out a soft whine as you realised the one you'd been cuddled up to was gone but it didn't wake you. 

Not that Chan blamed you, the two of you had been up until 4 that morning and then the guys had a full day planned of everything they wanted to do with their time off. Chan counted himself lucky he'd talked them out of dragging all eight of you down to the beach, if you had he couldn't guarantee you would have made it out of the car.

“Not surprising, considering we had a full day before this,” Hyunjin added, his voice a gentle murmur. He stood up from the floor, where he had been lounging and started to gather the empty snack bowls, Minho joining him in the task.

  “Should we wake her up?” Seungmin asked, looking over from where he was tidying up the mess of DVDs and Blu-rays they had pulled out earlier. Chan shook his head at him, there was no need to wake you up when you were sleeping so peacefully,

“Let her sleep,” Chan said quietly, his eyes never leaving your peaceful face, his hand outstretched a little as he ran his thumb along your cheek. 

“She looks so peaceful. Besides, it’s late. We can make her a bed here, she can take my room.” Seungmin nodded in agreement, already stacking pillows and pulling an extra blanket from the closet taking them through to Chan's old room. It wasn't as though the two of you had never shared that bedroom before but it had been a while since the two of you had squeezed into a single bed together. 

Hyunjin and Minho exchanged mischievous glances from the kitchen, the kind that only meant one thing: trouble. Hyunjin crept over to Minho, whispering, 

"What if we put whipped cream on her hand and tickle her nose? Classic prank." He said as he handed Minho the can of whipped cream, a devilish smirk taking over his face as he took the whipped cream into his grasp. 

"Or maybe draw on her face with a marker. Just a little moustache." Minho snickered, as he reached for a pen from the pot on the kitchen counter. 

“Good idea.” Hyunjin laughed from the kitchen making Chan turn around to see what they were talking about together. Minho was standing holding something behind his back with an all too innocent look on his face already letting Chan know he was onto something without even saying a word. 

After years of being the leader of their little group, you'd think the boys would know better than to try and hide something from the one man who knew them better than anyone else.

"What are you two planning?" He walked toward the kitchen door and they shook their heads, only making them seem more suspicious in his eyes. Before they could hide the items Chan darted behind them and took them from their hands, 

"No pranks tonight, guys." He chuckles, putting it all away and the two of them groan at him. 

"Aww, come on, Chan. Just a harmless little joke." Hyunjin pouted at him but Chan shook his head at them, his eyes serious. There was no way he was going to let them disturb you when you were asleep, besides, he didn't want you to wake up and regret spending the night because of some childish antics that they were going to be getting up to. 

"She’s exhausted. Let her sleep." He glanced over his shoulder to make sure you were still curled up in the chair. The others all cleaning up around you. Minho sighed dramatically, a smirk playing on his lips as he took the perfect chance to tease his leader. 

"Protective much? What’s the matter, Chris? Afraid she’ll be mad at you if she wakes up with a moustache?" He wriggles his eyebrows at Chan who merely crosses his arms, an amused yet warning glint in his eyes. As much as he loved playing pranks with the guys this was different, he didn't want anything to happen to you that might put you off coming back to spend time with the guys again,

"Very funny, Minho. But no. Just let her rest." Jisung, overhearing the exchange, couldn't resist chiming in. 

"Someone's whipped." He smirked, joining the others in the kitchen as Chan shot him the same look he'd been giving to Hyunjin and Minho but it only egged the boys on more.

"Yeah, Chan. You're going soft on us." Seungmin said with a giant grin on his face, reaching for the whipped cream Chan rolled his eyes, but it wasn't enough to hide the slight blush creeping up his cheeks at the thought of being whipped for you. 

“I’m not whipped. I just know she needs sleep. Unlike us.” He whines at them, the blush only deepening as the boys continue to snicker and stare over at him,

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say, hyung.” Jeongin smirked, unable to stop the laugh that came out after he spoke.

Felix, who had been watching the whole exchange with quiet amusement, chuckled softly and shook his head at them. Felix knew how deeply in love with you Chan was and how he would never do anything to stop that.

“Leave him alone, guys. He’s just being a good boyfriend.” Chan cast Felix a grateful look, but his friends weren’t done teasing him yet. Hyunjin, with a playful grin, leaned over and whispered loudly, 

“Does that mean we should start calling you ‘whipped cream Chan’?” Only Chan shoved him softly and laughed, walking away as he went back over to check on your sleeping form. His fingers gently run along your skin and smiling to himself. Even with them trying to do stupid pranks on you there was no other place he would rather be than right here with all of you around him. All his favourite people are in one safe spot.

@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @toplinehyunjin @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @choisoorin @straykids5star @midnightfrog625 @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @halesandy @junhannies @gothic4under4lord @lixie-phoria @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lensfilm @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @kpopsstuffs @chaeyoungs @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @niktwazny303 @moonlight-the-writer @armystay89 @hadassahchan @yxngbxkkie

[lisired]

smile for the camera

pairing: haechan x (f) reader x jisung (ft. a reoccurring renjun who’s mainly there for suspenseful purposes)

genre/warnings: smut, cheating, unprotected sex, dom!haechan, switch!jisung, switch!reader, jisung is a virgin, degradation, praise, spanking, pussy slapping, sexting, rough kink, edging, really bad 3some scenes bc I am terrible @ balancing attention, oral (both m/f receiving), f I missed smth lmk

summary: upon accidentally finding a video of you and your boyfriend haechan doing some very sexual things, jisung knows that he shouldn’t watch it. he knows that it would be an extreme invasion of privacy, but he’s unable to control himself when he sees the thumbnail. so he settles for only watching 30 seconds. except, 30 seconds turns into 30 minutes, and by then he’s buried himself too deep into a life-changing situation—or in which jisung’s terrible at keeping secrets.

wored count: 19.8k of pure filfth (what the fuck is wrong with me)

author’s note: this is a repost of an oldie but goldie, i think. i hope. feedback is appreciated!

Fuck.

Jisung knows that there’s a plethora and a half reasons why this is a terrible idea. For one, it’s an invasion of privacy. The thumbnail is explicit, leaving zero room for ignorance—the bare, nearly naked sight of you and Haechan blankets over the screen, and if that isn’t enough to tell him that this isn’t something he was supposed to see, then the rather intimate position you and your boyfriend are in is quite the message.

He didn’t mean to find it. He wasn’t searching, wasn’t looking—not for this video in particular anyways. He was simply going through the camera roll in search of something else, and happened to stumble across what is so obviously you and Haechan’s sextape. If he had known that there was inappropriate things on there, Jisung would have asked for permission before he went on Haechan’s laptop. Yet the shocking discovery has him filled to the brim with curiosity, despite him knowing it would be wrong.

Thirty seconds. I can watch thirty seconds, then cut it off, he thinks. What’s thirty seconds out of a minutes-long video? You and Haechan can go for hours, the sounds you make whenever you stay the night at the dorm keep Jisung up long enough to know that. A part of him doesn’t mind since you sound so sweet, and he can’t help but imagine what it would be like to take Haechan’s place, to have you crying his name. No, he shakes his head. He doesn’t need to think like that. It’s bad enough that he’s watching this video. So he looks around the room a couple times, even though no one’s home except Renjun, and he’s asleep. Then he reluctantly presses play, turning up the volume a couple notches. He’d never miss the opportunity to hear you.

The tape starts off quick, you already sitting on your knees between your boyfriend’s legs as you took him in your mouth. Haechan pointed the camera in a way that gives Jisung a near-perfect image of what it would be like to have you sucking him off, with your lips wrapped perfectly around his cock and your eyes so round as you gazed up at him innocently. If you looked at him like that, Jisung would probably cum on the spot.

“Gonna show the camera what a whore you are for me?” Haechan said, out of Jisung’s vision for the most part and he prefers it that way. He’d feel too guilty looking at his friend’s face, and of course he’ll feel even more guilty looking at yours, but he’ll suppress those feelings until he inevitably sees you in person.

Then-you nodded a little in response, looking so desperate and eager to please. If only you knew Jisung would be watching this, would you have still agreed to filming yourself so explicitly? He doubts that you would’ve, it isn’t like your relationship has ever been anything other than platonic. He’s nothing more than the best friend of the man you’re dating, of course you only see him as a friend, too. Nothing more.

“Then get to work, baby.”

It took nothing more for you to comply, sucking your boyfriend’s dick in your mouth while your tongue swirled alive. Your hand wrapped around him too, grip not too heavy, yet not too loose either. It’s no surprise to Jisung, but you look amazing with a cock stuffed between your lips and he imagines it’s him instead. You’d probably feel just as good as you look. Honestly, Jisung’s never had anything other than his own hands around his dick, and you look so skilled that he knows you’d be promising.

Even if he couldn’t see, he can hear. Haechan’s a moaner - quite a loud one - and he’s making it obvious you’re doing a great job with how utterly verbal he is. All the moans and praises spilling from between his lips had you soaking and motivated you to work harder.

By the time Jisung thinks to check the timestamp, he’s already more than thirty seconds in. This sends him into mini-panic, but he slowly decides it wouldn’t hurt to watch a little more. So he does, in too deep to stop.

02:05, you looked up at Haechan with a gaze that gets Jisung hard. 06:48, you were gagging because Haechan had gotten a little rough on you, tugging at your hair and using his hands to control you, facefucking you. 07:12, 10:22, 12:57, by the time Jisung’s thirteen minutes in, Haechan’s patience had dissipated and he’d thrown you onto the bed, claiming he wanted to cum in you—not your mouth. Then Jisung has this thought of what it would be like to cum inside you, and wonders if one day you’d ever let him. He knows that you wouldn’t, but it’s still a fun fantasy.

Jisung finds himself enjoying this new angle better. Your whole body is on display, thanks to Haechan taking off your undergarments as well as the remaining portions of his own clothes. He had you on all fours, waiting impatiently for him as he teased your slit from behind you, gliding his cock over it while being careful not to slide in. The moment you whined, Jisung pulls his own dick out, not entirely, but enough to where his fingers can touch him in place of yours.

“So needy,” Haechan cooed, brushing his cock against your wetness, “you’re so wet. All for me, right? Tell me who got you this wet.”

“You,” you muttered.

Haechan drew back, sounding a desperate whimper from you, “Speak up, baby. Can’t hear you.”

“You!” you said it louder, adding something extra you knew your boyfriend would like enough to quit his teasing and finally slide in, “you, Hyuck, only you. Want you s-so bad.”

Just like that, Haechan gave back in, finally slipping himself in and stretching you far and wide. “Fuck, baby,” he groaned, gripping your waist and rocking against your hips.

At the same time, Jisung strokes himself, watching the way you let your boyfriend toy with you, how needily you take everything he gives you. He thinks you look beautiful, your back in a pretty arch, your thighs and breast shaking as your body lurches forward at the impact of Haechan’s thrusts, your face—god, do you look gorgeous when you moan. Maybe there is a privilege in being a viewer. Haechan couldn’t, though Jisung can see your face perfectly.

“Harder,” you begged, your voice practically muffled as you whimpered into the pillows and mattress, yet he still heard you, “harder, Hyuck, please, please, please?”

“Baby want’s it harder?” He chuckled. “You’ve been so good for me, so I’ll give you everything my sweet girl wants.”

Watching Haechan touch you in all the places Jisung oh so desperately wishes he was, he feels like he’s going insane. You’re so incredibly fucked out, so out of it that the pleasure has practically locked you inside of a trance. Knowing you’re a sucker for contact, your boyfriend toyed with your body a little more, rubbing your clit to heighten the feeling, slowly yet steadily climbing his hands up your skin until they’re brushing your chest. Jisung moans when you do, unable to shake his urge to be inside you. Just one time, he begs to no one in particular, one time, and he’ll be able to happily move on with his life.

It feels like with every moment that passes, he’s closer to the edge. He’s blocked out everything else in the world, hyper-focused on your body and face. Your mouth agape, the pretty sounds that tumbled loose every time your boyfriend hit the spot, how caught up in the pleasure you were. If you gave him a chance, he thinks he could make you feel good, too. Sure, all the experience he has is with the palm of his hand, and he’s no where near as experienced as your boyfriend, but with a little guidance, he thinks he’d make you crack.

Though right now, he’s about to crack.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jisung’s been here plenty enough times before to know that’s he’s almost there—not necessarily watching you like this, but on those occasions when you stay over and go at it with Haechan during the dead nights where you think no one is awake, where he’s secretly hearing you and shutting his eyes, imagining a twisted fantasy of you and him. He even sometimes does it when you’re not there, getting off to the memory of your pretty lips or gentle fingers, both around his cock. Up until now, it worried him that the thought of fucking your mouth kept crawling stealthily back inside his brain. You’re so gorgeous, so cute and loving. Though upon seeing you beg for Haechan to be rougher with you, witnessing secondhand how you took your boyfriend’s length despite him forcing it down your throat, he thinks you can handle it.

Fuuuuucck. Jisung bites at his bottom lip as he cums, shutting his eyes as the pressure breaks through his body. It’s so intense, taking everything in him not to make noise as his cum shoots into his pants.

When he’s done, it takes him a couple seconds to blink back in. Then the realization of what he’s done hits, following with the guilt and shame of his actions. He always feels bad after he cums to you, but this was different. This time, he had done something inexcusable, and he can’t help but wonder about how you’d feel if you found out. Would you think he’s a creep? Could you ever look at him the same again? Jisung doesn’t think he can live with that, so he quickly exits the tab and discards all evidence of his activity, shutting the laptop and buttoning back up his pants. He’ll definitely need to wash those himself.

Swiftly, he swoops the laptop up, and walks into the hall to put it back. The video he was originally looking for is long-forgotten, and he spent over half an hour watching you and Haechan. Jisung’s a terrible liar. If Haechan comes back before he can put his laptop back, he’s toast.

“Why do you have Haechan’s MacBook?”

Jisung freezes. Fuck, he forget about Renjun.

“I don’t,” he winces, realizing that’s a boldfaced lie. He has puppy stickers on his MacBook. Unmistakable puppy stickers, all your doing. “Okay, so maybe I do—”

Renjun glares.

“Fine, I totally do! But I wasn’t doing anything, I was just trying to find that video of Jeno and Haechan from the beach!” Jisung defends himself like he’s being accused of murder, “You know Haechan keeps everything on his laptop!”

Renjun nods his head. Valid. He’s still skeptical, but he doesn’t care enough to further interrogate the younger, so he just shrugs and walks into the living room. Jisung sighs in relief. He’s gotten away with it for now. Now he just needs to put the laptop back in Haechan’s room and pretend that what happened never actually happened.

Jisung’s been acting weird lately.

No scooting next to you on the couch and lying his head in your lap. No asking you how your day has been. No shyly waving at you whenever you first walk through the dorm door. No awkward hello’s (hell, he’s hardly even speaking to you.)

Even when you try and speak to him, his answers are plain and simple.

How’s your day? Fine.

Did you guys have a good practice? It was nice.

Have you been thinking about trying any new hair colors? Not really.

You don’t think he’s even looking at you. And Jisung’s really not that shy as you originally thought him out to be, after he got to know you a little, he was holding eye contact with you during conversations just fine. He’s a confident speaker even. But you try not to overthink things and try to get used to the emptiness without his normal self, chalking it up to him having a bad week or something. It’s normal, everyone has those.

Mission unsuccessful. You are the queen of overthinking. In fact, you are literally the walking definition of overthinking. If someone Googled the meaning of overthink, your name would probably pop up next to it.

So you turn to your all-time favorite therapist, AKA your boyfriend.

“Is it just me, or has Jisung been acting different lately?”

You’re at the dorms, in the middle of folding laundry. Haechan stands near you, doing absolutely nothing. Normally the guys would absolutely never let you do their laundry, and it’s Haechan’s turn this week, but you offered and somewhat aggressively insisted on folding, so he let you. He knows that you willingly do chores when there’s something on your mind and you’re trying to get it off but you can’t, so he was aware there was only a matter of time before you asked him some ridiculous question.

Your boyfriend blinks, not expecting the question, but if he’s caught off-guard then he conceals it quickly. “Just you, babe.”

You frown, “Think about it. He’s been acting so weird.”

“Jisung’s always weird,” Haechan laughs, “I haven’t noticed anything. He seems the same to me. Why are you so worried about him anyways?”

“Because he’s being weird, Haechan, I’m telling you. He doesn’t wave at or greet me anymore, doesn’t sit next to me during movies, and he won’t even talk to me anymore! I asked him if there was any hair colors he wanted to try and he said not really. He always has a list of hell no’s and shit that’s on his bucket list. This isn’t normal, Hyuck,” you ramble, halting in the middle of folding some Adidas sweatshirt.

Haechan pauses, rewinding a little and realizing that you may have a point. A small point, but a point nonetheless. “Well now that you mentioned it, I don’t remember having to hyper watch him during movie nights.”

“Exactly, because he doesn’t lay in my lap!”

“Thank God, maybe he’s finally learning boundaries,” Haechan says, relieved if that’s the case. Jisung’s never been particularly touchy with you, but he does use you like a human pillow during movie nights. Not that you mine, but your slightly possessive boyfriend does. “I was gonna kill him if he kept that shit up any longer.”

“Babe,” you whine, “seriously.”

“Oh, I am being serious. But I’ll ask the guys if they’ve noticed anything,” and as if perfectly on-cue, Renjun walks into the living room, “Yo Renjun, you think Jisung’s been acting weird lately?”

Renjun shrugs. “Nope, why?”

“Cause y/n thinks he is, and she’s like super worried. Been tryna tell her it’s probably nothing, but you know how she is—”

“Hey!”

Renjun pauses for a couple seconds, brows furrowed as he tries his hardest to think. And then it dawns on him. “Wait, the other day I did see him leave his room with your MacBook.”

Haechan furrows his eyebrows. “My MacBook?”

“Yeah, it had puppy stickers on the cover. I asked him why he had it, and he did a whole defensive rant talking about how he was simply, and I quote, ‘just trying to find that video of Jeno and Haechan from the beach’. I hope he never gets interrogated for something serious,” Renjun says coolly.

MacBook. Video. Haechan’s MacBook. Video. Oh god, this cannot be what you think it is. Yet as you gaze at your boyfriend, you can tell he’s thinking the exact same thing as you.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he groans. “When was this?”

“Like four days ago, why?” Renjun questions, utterly confused.

The time lines up, that’s when he started acting distant with you. He definitely saw something he wasn’t supposed to.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimper, tugging your boyfriend’s hair.

The ultimate stress reliever, head from your boyfriend. You’re not even exaggerating, the man eats pussy like his life depends on every lap. In this case particularly however, you’re ninety-nine percent sure he’s more so trying to shut you up by distracting you with something that’ll make you whimper in pleasure instead of distress, and you refuse to go down without a challenge. It is, needless to say, a challenge, especially with how the way that he makes you see stars clouds your mind, but you won’t succumb yet.

“Feel good?” Haechan parts for a split second to speak, then dips right back in unhesitatingly. He really doesn’t have to ask, but you know he only is because he wants to hear it from you, as though your moans aren’t telling enough.

“Yes, f-fuck,” you moan, unable to numb yourself to the pleasure. You wouldn’t even if you could, though it would be useful for you to convey your thoughts right now—the ones that keep slipping away the more he works between your thighs, yet you’re clutching onto them desperately. “But babe, gosh, what about Jisung—”

Haechan draws back, resulting in a whine to sound from you. “Baby, tell me you’re not talking about another man while I’m eating you out.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” you bemoan, “I mean, I could, but I don’t want to. I’m worried about him, you know, like what if he’s traumatized. And what if he never looks at me the same again, he’s never gonna—oh.”

Haechan cuts you off mid-rant by stuffing his fingers inside you, catching you a little off-guard since you hadn’t suspected his actions, or even take notice of how he moved from between your thighs, positioning himself behind you with your back to his chest. “Do you want him to forget?”

His question seems to catch you off-guard a little more. “Huh?”

“Do you want Jisung to forget what he saw?” He repeats. “He saw you naked, baby. He saw you sucking me off, maybe even you getting fucked into this mattress if he’s that nosy. Do you want him to forget that he saw you like that, or do you want him to remember? To get curious?”

If you’re bring frank, the thought has crossed your mind at one point. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself (because you already have a man, how dare you want another?) but a part of you craves Jisung. You think it has for a while, you’re just now coming to terms with it. That doesn’t mean that you don’t want Haechan—you do want him, you love him and you’ll never stop—though you can’t help but want Jisung a little, too.

“I… I don’t know,” you lie, afraid of choosing the wrong answer. How would Haechan take that you want to fuck another guy? And how could you unabashedly admit that to him?

“Stop being complicated, I know that you know,” he pulls away his fingers, as though to punish you for lying, “do you wanna fuck him or not, y/n?”

As expected, you whine once more for the umpteenth time this hour. You’re thinking about answering honestly if it means that he’ll stop denying you pleasure. “Why are you asking me this when you said you’d kill him if he kept lying on my lap!”

“I know what I said, and it has nothing to do with my question. Now if you wanna cum, tell me the truth,” your boyfriend whispers, silk voice giving you goosebumps, “if it helps, I know Jisung and I’m like a hundred-percent sure that he is absolutely anything but traumatized. The horny bastard probably got off to it if anything, and now he’s all embarrassed and worried about you finding out. That’s why he’s avoiding you.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “And not you?”

“I’m assuming it’s because you’re the one he wants to fuck,” Haechan shrugs, “since he’s usually all over you instead of me.”

Well fuck. You hate this. You hate it because if Jisung wants you just as bad as you want him, then something could really happen, and worst of all, Haechan’s okay with that. That’s probably all the reasons you need to love this, but you can’t shake the feeling that something about this is wrong, even if you want it. It’s the same feeling that’s prevented you from accepting how you feel, all of the shame and the guilt inside you. But fuck, are you willing to ignore it. Your moral compass is malfunctioning. You’re malfunctioning, probably. There’s no reason you’re turned on thinking about all the ways you could have both of them, and you can’t say the fantasies aren’t fun. You can’t say that you don’t want to take a chance at living them out. And even though technically, you can, that would most definitely be lying. You’re a woman of truth, and nothing but.

So you decide to tell him the truth.

“I… want him to remember,” you admit, your voice low but audible.

“Course you do,” Haechan crams a pair of his fingers back inside you, prompting a fairly loud gasp from between your lips in response, “you’re such a cock-hungry fucking slut, you’ll never be satisfied with just one, hm?”

“N-no, not a—fuck—slut,” even though you deny it, Haechan feels the way you clench around his fingers when he degrades you. He even felt the way you clenched around them when he described all the ways Jisung’s potentially seen you, and from that moment forward, he knew exactly what you wanted.

“Yes, you are, baby,” he disagrees, observing how you moan for him so needily. He thinks about how Jisung felt the moment he saw you like this in that video, so gone and pathetic. Then he remembers Jisung’s horniness is through the roof, and he was definitely turned on. “Such a slut. My greedy slut. Tell me you’re my slut.”

“I-I’m your slut, Hyuck,” you whisper, too caught up in bliss to speak an octave louder without forcing yourself.

Haechan slaps your thigh, and you moan consequently, “Louder.”

“I’m your slut!” you cry, louder than intended, yet your volume pleases him.

Satisfied, he smirks a little to himself. “Good girl. You wanna cum?”

“God, yes,” you’re nodding your head almost violently, “please?”

“Go ahead, baby. Let go for me.”

You’re in a daze-like state, feeling almost lightheaded as you clutch your boyfriend’s thighs for leverage. It’s either extremely early in the morning or extremely late at night and you’re at the dorms again, so you dig your teeth into your lips to try and conceal your moans as you cum, almost too out of it to even do that. Though as many times as you’ve been in this situation, biting back moans until your lips are bleeding, you like to think that you’ve perfected the silent skill.

The moment you come down from your high you lie your head against your boyfriend’s chest, and he whispers into your ear all these sweet praises, telling you how good you are for him. Everything is typical, with him holding you tight and close.

“Now, I want you to hear something,” Haechan says, throwing you off a little.

“Hear what?” You ask, nothing but confused.

“Shh,” he whispers, “listen carefully.”

Allowing your curiosity to get the best of you, your lips press together in absolute silence, and you’re even holding in your breath so that it won’t distract you too much. It takes a couple of seconds, but your ears begin to pick up on the faint sounds of groans coming from the wall that separates Haechan and Jisung’s rooms, which could only mean one thing.

He’s jerking off… to you?

Fuck, why does that turn you on? You wish that you were right there next to him, so that you could perfectly hear how deep his voice is when he grunts like that. Better yet, you wish that you were touching him yourself, so that you could see how his face looks when you make him cum. It isn’t fair. He’s seen you naked, while you’re left with not much more than your imagination.

“Haechan…” you whisper speechlessly.

“I know,” he whispers back. “He’s been doing this every night we fuck when you stay over. I know you’re always too fucked out to hear anything, though.”

Oh, god. The walls are severely thin here, you can only imagine all the noises he’s heard you make over the nights. All the times he’s came, and no wonder you hear him insisting on washing his own laundry. The guys already tease him, saying that it’s because he’s always jacking off, but you’re the sole one that never would’ve thought he was truly this horny—that he’d jack off to you.

“What do we do?” You ask, although your head isn’t exactly blank. It’s just that everything you’re thinking, you’re not sure your boyfriend would approve of.

“Confront him,” Haechan replies, like the answers obvious, and the moment you stare back at him in shock and appalled, he adds, “I’m not mad at you or against it, baby. If you wanna fuck him, then you can once on the condition that I have to be there. I’m sure that horny fuck wouldn’t care.”

You don’t believe your ears. “Really?”

“Yes,” he begins to yawn a little, “but tomorrow. For now let’s go to bed.”

The two of you lie down, and you go to sleep imagining all the possibilities of what could happen within the next twenty-four hours, snuggled up in your boyfriend’s arms.

The following day, you and Haechan plan out the confrontation quietly in his bedroom. Since the walls are thinner than you thought, most of your conversation is in hushed whispers and low tone.

Just thinking about it has you excited. If everything goes according to plan—essentially meaning if Jisung doesn’t shy off despite your boyfriend’s insistence on watching instead of participating—then you’ll have him wrapped around your finger, right where you want him. You just hope that he won’t freak out too much.

“You got it?” Haechan whispers once he finishes explaining the rundown of the plan.

It’s nothing like some elaborate scheme, or intricately-detailed ploy. There isn’t much to it but patience and faith in the slight steps to play out in your favor, although the ratio of your amount of the two things is dramatic.

“Yeah,” you reply a little too fast, a little too enthusiastically, “can’t wait.”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” he taunts, “you don’t have a choice. But I’ll get the rest of the guys out of here by two, and then you’ll have Virgin Mary all to yourself. He just won’t have you to himself.”

You make a confused face, “What’s with the emphasis on him being a horny virgin?”

“You don’t get why I want to watch, do you?” Haechan asks, and you shake your head. You’ve been tempted to ask, but you’ve already come to terms with the fact that your boyfriend sometimes works in mysterious ways far beyond your comprehension level. “Baby, I doubt Jisung’s gonna know what to do with you. He’s gonna need a couple of pointers plus a push in the right direction. And who knows your body and how to fuck you better than to me?”

No one. Not a single soul. You find it a little embarrassing, but not even you. Haechan didn’t take your virginity, but the first time sure felt like he had—he had reached places you didn’t know were there, let alone reachable, and he made sex seem like something totally new. No one has quite pleased you the way your boyfriend has.

“So you’re going to… teach him?” Is the conclusion you make when you put the pieces together, and Haechan nods.

“If that’s what you want to call it.”

That is what you want to call it.

Time passes rather slowly. Every hour feels twice as long, and you feel as though you’re going to die any moment now. The second you hear the sound of the guys piling outside the dorm, there’s a burst of excitement in you, making your stomach turn and swarm with butterflies. (It’s killed briefly when Jaemin rushes back inside, claiming he forgot his phone, but once they drive away you’re filled with bliss once more.)

Jisung steps outside his room, “Where’s everyone going?”

“Away,” Haechan replies vaguely as you two walk back down the hall.

“So it’s just us three?”

“Yep,” you and your boyfriend answer in unison.

Jisung looks absolutely petrified, though not wanting to appear suspicious (he’s kind of late, but it’s the effort that counts) his face soothes soon after. “Cool.” To him, it is anything but cool.

“Cool,” you repeat, “so you wanna watch a movie with us in Haechan’s room?”

“I don’t think I should—”

“Please?” Your eyes are begging him, pleading at him, and for safe measure, you add, “I miss you Sungie, it feels like it’s been forever.”

Truthfully, it hasn’t been anywhere near that long. Though Jisung knows that he’s been extremely distant with you—probably why you feel kicked away—and he feels terrible. Plus, it’s impossible to say no to you, especially when you give him that look, gazing at him like a sad puppy.

He gives in, “Okay.”

“Yay!” You clap your hands together. You clutch Jisung’s fist and begin to drag him down the hallway, “Babe go make popcorn!”

Some moments later, everyone’s settled down. The three of you sitting on Haechan’s bed, with you squeezed in the middle like the cream of an oreo. You rest your head on Jisung’s shoulder and he tenses a little at first, though eventually relaxs.

Everything’s going great and according to plan. Jisung looks calm, laughing the movie and being as naturally clingy as he usually is during movie nights. You and Haechan glance at one another occasionally, silently deciding on the perfect moment to strike and telepathically agreeing that that moment is now.

Haechan pauses Netflix, making Jisung whine in complaint. “Why’d you do that? It was getting suspenseful.”

“You’re getting a little comfortable, don’t you think?” Haechan tilts his head.

It takes Jisung a couple of seconds to realize what Haechan’s talking about, but once he does, he quickly separates his hands away from you and scoots over to put a little distance between the two of you.

His face burns like fire. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re a repeat offender, Jisung, sorry isn’t gonna cut it this time,” and before Jisung can apologize again, Haechan adds, “plus, I have another question for you.”

“What is it?” Jisung swallows sharply.

“When you watched that video, did you cum?” It’s you that asks the question this time, much to Jisung’s surprise. He’s chewing hard on his lip, nervousness spelt out across his face.

Still, he plays dumb, holding onto the slim piece of remaining hope he has to consider that maybe this is a joke, that you aren’t serious and don’t actually know he’s seen the video. “W-what video?” Even his own voice betrays him, and Jisung knows from this moment that he’s screwed. Terribly fucking screwed.

“I’m sure you know it very well. The one where she’s giving me head and I’m fucking her into this mattress, remember?” Haechan inquires, a smirk blooming onto his lips as he watches Jisung break.

He’s done, he thinks. You probably hate him. You’re probably disgusted with him, repulsed by him, and appalled that his prying eyes saw you in such a sexual context. He doesn’t look at you, afraid of what he might see, holding his head down low in shame as he’s unable to lie to you anymore. “Sorry. I’m so sorry,” he stammers, “I didn’t, I wasn’t trying—I didn’t mean to, I just… I was just trying to find—”

“That video of me and Jeno from the beach, yes, Renjun told us. But you found something you liked better and just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” Something about humiliating Jisung, toying with him a little simply to see how he reacts is fun to Haechan. All of his reactions, needless to say, are amusing; shuffling in his spot; fidgeting with his hands; swallowing and gulping hard; biting his bottom lip; and his eyes widening in panic as his cheeks sting with embarrassment.

You add, “We heard you last night, too. Do you always listen in on us like that?”

Jisung whimpers, “Y/n…”

“Answer my question, Sungie,” you lean into his ear, “do you always listen in on us like that?”

Whenever he’s awake, he definitely does. Jisung isn’t oblivious to the fact that if he can overhear Haechan’s room, then you guys can certainly overhear him in his room, but he thought he was quiet enough to get away with it. You have to give him credit, if Haechan would’ve never pointed it out you probably would have never noticed.

“Y-yes,” he admits in a low murmur, head still hanging low, “I’m sorry, you just sound so pretty when you… make noises, and it wakes me up. But sometimes I stay up and wait because I know you’ll start soon. Please don’t be mad.”

“Mad? You don’t get it, do you?” You move to straddle his lap, gripping his chin to force eye contact with him. He appears taken aback by your actions, but doesn’t fight them. “If I was mad, we wouldn’t be doing this, Jisung. I’m here because I want you, and you want me, right?”

Jisung’s Adam’s apple bobs as silence prevails over his voice.

“Answer her,” Haechan commands. “Do you want her?”

Jisung chokes out, “Yes.”

Shaking your head in dissatisfaction, you instruct, “Say it. Tell me what you want. Do I have to walk you through it like an ameteur?”

Jisung instantly shakes his head. He’s not a baby, he can do this. “You,” he finds the courage to say, fighting the urge to cower, “I want you.”

“Good boy,” you purr, “but you didn’t answer my first question, so I have some more for you.”

Trying his hardest to conceal how evidently the pet name fazes him while simultaneously bracing himself for the severity of your question, he asks coolly, “What are they?”

You lean back into his ear, but with you in his lap and his hands holding your waist this time, it feels so much different. “Do you moan for me when you cum?” Your voice tickles his neck, but he thinks he that likes it, “do you say my name?”

Fuck. Jisung could get hard at the memory, recalling all the times he’s came to you, moaning your name quietly to himself as he imagines you’re around his cock—your hands, your pussy, your mouth, anything. He’ll take anything as long as it’s from you. The only time he doesn’t moan your name is when he has to be silent, like when he was watching that video of you, in spite of how badly he wanted to call out for you right then and pray that you would somehow answer.

“Yes, fuck,” slowly, all of his shame and dignity is dissipating, “I imagine it’s you,” he mutters.

That gets you going as well. Jisung fucking his hand to the thought of you, pretending that it’s you, and moaning your name as he cums is a sight you’d pay to see. You’re pretty sure he’d send you a video for free though.

Deciding this needs to escalate quicker than it is, Haechan instructs, “Touch her, Jisung.”

“T-touch her?” Jisung repeats back, incredulous that this is the same Haechan who shoots him knife sharp glares whenever he so much as accidentally brushes his fingers against yours during movie nights. “Are you sure?”

“You think I’d ask you to touch my girlfriend if I wasn’t sure?” Haechan deadpans. “Honestly, you’re asking the wrong person.”

So Jisung shifts his focus back to you, and you eye him with these lustful eyes that tell him, scream at him that you want him. It’s so much like a fantasy that he’s half-tempted to pinch himself to test if he’s dreaming or if this is just a wet dream come true. “Can I touch you?” Jisung asks. His eyes are a little wide still, but he sounds so much more confident.

“Please,” you answer, and that’s all it takes for his hands to roam your body.

Jisung’s fingers move gracefully yet like the wild, untamable waver of a flame. As his fingers pull your top above your head, you can’t help but gaze at his fingers, long and bony. Fuck, you can only imagine the places they could reach, and you’re not too proud to say you’ve thought about it on more than one occasion. Because of your willingness to push it away though, the thought hasn’t ever bloomed into a full-on fantasy. Not until now, of course. This time however, you’re finding it perfectly acceptable to wonder.

He struggles to unclasp your bra though, earning a chorus of laughs from you and your boyfriend. But upon seeing Jisung’s flushed face, you try and teach him, with Haechan helping do a perfect demonstration.

Once Jisung thinks he has the hang of it, he says, “Put it back on.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “For what?”

“I want to see if I can do it,” he replies, making you and your boyfriend both scoff. But you indeed put the bra back on, and he successfully takes it off with a dramatic decrease in effort.

You nod in approval, “Good job.”

Jisung realizes he loves being praised by you. And in that same moment, he realizes that there isn’t much he won’t do to satisfy you so that he can hear you praise him some more.

He sucks your nipple into his mouth, fingers fiddling with your other one so that it wouldn’t be neglected. When Haechan talked down on Jisung for being a virgin, it made you think that you would have to teach him everything. But it seems like he’s done his research, because he knows a thing or two. That or he’s just naturally good.

“Shit,” you gasp, “Feels so good, Sungie.”

The look on your face tells him everything. You’re genuinely enjoying this, lips parted as you continue to moan little by little. If Jisung wasn’t hard before, he definitely is now. Something about your moans is severely intoxicating, and being able to hear them, seeing how you look when you moan in person is just on another level that the computer screen doesn’t compare to. It simply doesn’t do you justice.

You’re quickly becoming very needy and impatient. Jisung can feel Haechan’s eyes biting into his skin, silently waiting for the right moment to open his mouth, so Jisung decides not to make any advances on his own in dread of setting your boyfriend off. You on the other hand need him to pick up the pace, so you make the advance for him, picking up him free hand by the wrist and sticking it down your shorts. “Touch me,” you beg him with your mouth and eyes, “Please.”

He looks at Haechan, but surprisingly he’s nodding, urging him on. So Jisung complies, fighting the pitter-patter of his heart against his chest as he rubs you through your panties. You’re wet, he knows that much. Really fucking wet. It turns him on to think that he’s the root of it all, the reason why you’re soaking your underwear, especially because he’s wanted to touch you there for so long. He wonders how long it’ll be before he gets to touch you directly, without some flimsy fabric in the way of all the good stuff.

Lust blinding the two of you results in things to escalate somewhat quickly. It started with Jisung rubbing you through your panties, then you begging him for skin on skin contact, and then a complete change of positions after he hungrily takes off your shorts, finger fucking you as you eventually asked with your back flat against the mattress.

“Pay attention to the angle,” Haechan advises. “You can’t just shove your fingers in her and hope for the best. And don’t let having longer fingers get to your head, it’s pointless if you don’t know how to use them. Same with your dick.”

“I know that,” Jisung hisses. “Just because I’m new to this doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”

“Just being careful, Ji. You’d be surprised how many people don’t know that. If you’re gonna fuck my girlfriend, I gotta at least make sure you’re doing it right,” you’re almost completely tuned out of the conversation, only picking up on bits of pieces as you’re too concentrated on the way Jisung’s fingers plunge in and out of you, coated in your arousal. “And pay attention to her body, it’ll tell you everything you need to know. See what makes her moan, squirm, beg—all that good stuff—and what doesn’t.”

If Haechan has you muffling screams when you fuck every other night, then Jisung’s sure he knows what he’s talking about, so he silently takes his advice. You seem to be enjoying this, and he wonders how he can take it further, how he can find out where you’re sensitive.

He decides to explore, not exactly letting his fingers run wild but experimenting here and there until he finds the spot. And when you cry out a little suddenly, he’s sure he’s found it. “Fuck,” you cry out in bliss, “Right there, Jisung, god.”

His fingers continue to hit you there, and he tries to burn the spot into his memory. It’s uncertain if he’ll ever get this opportunity again—and that’s when he realizes he should make sure this experience is as pleasurable as possible, just in case this is a once in a lifetime thing—but he wants to remember for safe measure.

For some reason, Jisung has the urge to look at Haechan again, so he does, and sees the man mouthing the words, Pull out.

Jisung is utterly confused. He mouths back, Why?

Just do it, Haechan says.

It takes Jisung a little. He’s reluctant. After all, one look at your face tells him that you’re all blissed out, and he thinks you’re pretty close. So why would he pull his fingers away? The point is to please you, isn’t it? Though not wanting to mess up, he hesitantly does as told.

“Jisung,” you whine when you’re suddenly empty, and Jisung hates it. He wants you to say his name in pleasure, in satisfaction, not like this.

“Haechan told me to!” He defends himself quickly.

“I did,” Haechan unabashedly confirms. “Don’t let her cum yet, making her wait is part of the fun and makes her want you more. Just get her wet enough so that you can fuck her good.”

“I did,” Haechan unabashedly confirms. “Don’t let her cum yet, making her wait is part of the fun and makes her want you more. Just get her wet enough so that you can fuck her good.”

Figuring that you’re wet enough, he turns to look at you. “Can I… can I fuck you?”

“Yes,” you’re literally about to beg, you’ve been waiting for this moment for what feels like an eternity, “please do, I can’t wait anymore. Need you so bad, Sungie.”

Jisung feels like he’s out of his mind. A part of him still refuses to believe that this is real, that this is actually happening. That instead of being mad at him for invading your privacy, you’re here begging for him to fuck you. He’s not sure what’s more surprising, the fact that you want to fuck him or the fact that Haechan is allowing this to happen, even telling him what to do to please you. You’re begging for him. You’re spreading your legs for him. You’re wet—all for him. It crosses his mind that maybe this isn’t a good idea, but with those three things considered, he can’t bring himself to care anymore. Haechan doesn’t care that he’s fucking his girlfriend, you don’t even care that he’s fucking you, so why should he?

Jisung drops his pants and lets his boxers hit the ground. There’s nothing holding him back anymore, not when he sees you gawking at him (unlike Haechan, he leans more to the lengthy side rather than girthy, though as long as he follows Haechan’s instructions you’re sure you’ll both be fine). It gives him a little ego boost.

“Condom?” He asks.

“You don’t have to use one,” you say, nearly making Jisung’s jaw drop, “just hurry up, please.”

What comes over him as he slides into you is beyond him, but the process is effortless and he just skates in. “Fuck,” he grunts, needing time for himself before he can even move. He’s barely moved an inch, but he can tell the real thing is a billion times better than his palm.

“Start slow,” Haechan says. “You’ve made her want it, but most importantly, you have to make her need it. Make her beg for you to pick up the pace, and then go faster. Not too fast, but not too slow, either.”

Jisung complies, drawing it out a little. With the way you feel around him it’s difficult to resist moving around freely, but then he remembers what he was thinking about making this as pleasure as possible for the two of you and decides it’s worth the wait. Something tells him to grip your waist so he does, his fingers dipping around your hips, and in return you let your hands fly to the empty space on his back.

You’re crying out in pleasure, need, yearning—all of the above. You probably should have expected Haechan to descend his teasing ways onto Jisung. He’s ever so slowly stretching you out, not pushing his whole size into you, but gently wedging it inside bit by bit at an agonizingly slow pace. It’s useful preparation, but once most of his length is sliding in and out of you so leisurely, your patience has ran significantly thin.

“Faster, Jisung. Please,” there’s tears pricking your eyes, and he hasn’t even really done anything yet, “want—no, I need you to fuck me so much.”

“How much?” He asks, catching everyone in the room, including himself, off-guard a little bit, but he doesn’t back down.

“It fucking hurts,” nothing but desperacy fills your tone when you whimper. Luckily enough you’re used to this tormenting treatment from your boyfriend, so you have a couple tricks up your sleeve. “Don’t you want it too, Sungie? You said it yourself that you think about this. Don’t you wanna make your dreams come true?”

Jisung grunts and caves in, allowing himself to move a little faster. He’s honestly tired of torturing you and himself.

“I’m almost impressed,” Haechan begins, nearly startling Jisung as his presence for once almost goes forgotten. It feels a little unnerving to Jisung that he’s been watching so closely, but he refuses to let that get in the way of fucking you. “Keep it up. Talk to her. Definitely not too much to point where’s it gets annoying, but not too little to the point where it’s awkward. Make observations, compliment her, ask her shit like you just did.”

Jisung simply nods in understanding, not bothering to drop some bitter reply. He’s too focused on you, on how you look, on how you feel, and he wonders if he’ll ever have the opportunity to see how you taste. He’s never ate anyone out before, but he thinks that your pussy is so pretty that there’s a first time for everything.

Meanwhile, you’re lost in the realm that is pleasure, savoring the way his dick inches in and out of you, filling you to the brim, slipping out, then pushing back inward. It’s hard to believe Jisung’s winging this—he has to have really been paying attention because he’s so fucking good at this, tip so far kissing all the right places. You like the way he holds your hips, so firm and secure like you’re precious and he’s afraid of shattering you (even though you wouldn’t mind if he did.)

From beside you your boyfriend is groaning, and that’s when you think to shift your gaze in his direction, realizing he’s finally stripped his lower body. His dick is in his palm, tall and erect, and you’re impressed that he’s gone this long without touching himself—or most surprisingly you. As much as Haechan likes to talk down on Jisung for being horny, he can’t blame him because he’s the exact same. Worse, even, especially for you.

“Touch her,” even in this state, Haechan still has pointers to offer, “Anywhere she’s sensitive for extra stimulation. Rub her clit—if you know where it is. Or what it is. Do you even know what that is, Jisung?”

“Yes, I know what it is, Haechan,” As if to prove his point, Jisung drops his hand down to your cunt. If you thought the way his fingers accidentally brushed against you was amazing, you were no where near prepared for the feeling of them toying with your clit. “Right here.”

“Oh, g-god, Jisung,” you stammer out, rocking your hips onto his hand. “More, please. I want more,” he’s quick to obey, applying pleasure to your clit while his fingers softly kiss your cunt in the same motion. “Just like that!”

Some moments pass, all actions consistent though Jisung isn’t sure how much longer he can keep this up. He’s having this fuzzy, trance-like feeling, where everything seems like nothing greater than his imagination. The only reason he knows he’s not dreaming is because of the way you feel around him. It’s like pinching himself, except this is pleasurable. Your bare walls are warm, tight, and wet as ever around him, and he knew from the moment he slid in you that he wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight.

That video doesn’t compare to this. His fist doesn’t compare to this. He can’t describe it, not with one-hundred percent accuracy, because absolutely no other feeling in the world compares to this. You look so fucked out beneath him, bliss spelt out across your face, and he’s proud that he’s the reason why. He had always known that he could do this with a little help, that he was fully capable of satisfying you. He just never thought that he’d ever be given the chance.

“Shit, y/n. You’re so fucking beautiful,” he moans, the deepness of his voice driving you closer to the edge. You’ve always found it hot, but it’s more extreme with his dick inside you.

Close, I’m close,” you moan, feeling the tightening in your stomach, “are you gonna cum?”

“Shit, y-yeah. Gonna cum. Can I—”

Picking up on what he’s asking before he even has to chance to state it himself, you say, responding a little over-eagerly, “Yes, fuck, cum in me. Please don’t pull out.”

You’re seeing stars, you swear. Bright white twinkling ones that cloud your vision as you cum, digging your nails into Jisung’s back. It helps that he’s rubbing you in your most sensitive area, fucking you so perfectly, and that Haechan’s sweet moans are audible beside you. You aren’t sure who cums first between the three of you, but you do know his cum is leaking from your cunt after his hips stutter to a stop, and he can’t help but fill you with a load of white.

It takes you a long while to collect your breath. But afterwards your boyfriend swoops you into his arms, placing you in his care once the deed is done. “Last pointer,” he says, “always check up on the person you’re fucking. Good aftercare is extremely important after sex.”

“Are you okay?” Jisung asks, and you find it cute how his eyes look so filled with concern.

“Seriously never been better,” you manage to respond through heavy breaths. “Haechan, can you join us next time?”

Haechan looks repulsed by the idea. “Who said there was going to be a next time?” This saddens you considerably, and Jisung too, but he does a better job at concealing it. “You did good, Jisung. Hope you find your own person to use your new skills on. C’mon babe, let’s get you cleaned up.”

You follow your boyfriend into the bathroom, and Jisung sees himself out. At least he has new material to jack off to, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t feel you again. You’re just too good to give away, so he understands why Haechan is so determined to keep you to himself.

But fuck, you’re too sweet to let go of.

“Ever heard the phrase sex is a remedy?”

“No.”

“That’s because I just made it up,” Haechan grins, and you roll your eyes consequently.

It proves true in some circumstances, you’ll give him that. Prime example: Jisung. Ever since that day, things between you have cooled. He started sitting next to you during movie nights again, even going as far putting his head in your lap (much to Haechan’s annoyance), actually talks to you, and looks at you (maybe a little too much.)

Yet surprisingly, he doesn’t seem that bashful anymore. It isn’t like he’s ever been the type to shy away, though this is next-level. No more shy waves or meek hello’s. No more weak eye contact. No more hesitance in touching you, despite him potentially being able to piss your boyfriend off. He’s so relaxed, so calm and so certain of his actions, and you kind of like it. There’s a chance the sex got to his head a little, but perhaps it was a push in the right direction and plus, you find confidence very sexy.

But you push these thoughts away as fast as they come. Whatever you had with Jisung is done, it can’t happen again. You all had your fun, now it’s time to let it go.

You pout, “Why are you leaving me alone for so long? I’m gonna miss you.”

Haechan’s going out with some of the guys to handle what he titles manly affairs. If you didn’t know any better you’d say that probably translates to I’m going somewhere to play video games, but you saw Jeno in his gym shorts. They’re definitely about to go hit the gym.

“Relax, I’m going to be back in a couple of hours and you aren’t alone—Renjun and Jisung will still be here to keep you company. Speaking of which, Renjun said that if you keep treating this like a second home he’s gonna start making you split the rent with us,” your boyfriend snickers.

“I was joking!” Renjun shouts from the hall, coincidentally walking down at the same time you happen to be talking about him.

“I think Renjun should mind his own business,” you say, and he rolls his eyes prior to stepping inside the bathroom. “And why aren’t they going with the rest of you?”

“Won rock paper scissors,” Haechan mutters, “but back to what I was saying about sex being a remedy, I promise I’ll make you cum at least three times when I get back.”

“Why three?”

“Because I don’t think you can handle four,” your boyfriend kisses you on the lips for a second so short it feels unreal, and you’re torn between focusing on that or informing him that he sounds like that one Reese’s commercial, “but I gotta go. See you later, babe, love you!”

“I love you more!”

“No, I love you mo—wait. I see what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work,” he catches on, earning a gloomy frown from you. At least you tried. “Now goodbye, I love you most!”

“No, I—” before you can even chuck out half your sentence, the door is rudely shut in your face.

You huff. He cheated.

Alas, you’re left alone. Flopping down onto the couch, you consider that Renjun’s probably right about you overstaying your welcome, though it isn’t like you’re here all day every day. Two days a week at most. You have your own lovely apartment free of men that fight over video games and superior pizza toppings. Speaking of men, you’re tempted to go annoy Renjun in order to pass the time, but then Jisung creeps from the shadows of his room and you’re suddenly no longer interested in the former.

“Sungie!”

You don’t seem to notice the look on his face when you call him that, and even if you did, you wouldn’t have been able to make out what it meant. It’s fleeting, gone before it’s ever really there. Jisung covers it up with a smile, though can’t help but feel the nickname has an entirely different feeling. It used to be cute—innocent and sweet. But then he heard you begging for him and that changed his perception of the word forever.

He figures that he should probably let it go, though. It happened almost a week ago, the sex. It was fun, he knows that. All parties enjoyed it, he knows that too, but he also knows that Haechan would never let it happen again. Hell, he’s still surprised that he let it happen a first time.

“Y/n,” he smiles cheerily, joining you on the couch. You sit upright to make room for him. “you’re here while Haechan’s not?”

“Oh, yeah. All my clothes that I have here are dirty so I’m waiting for them to finish washing and drying,” you explain, Jisung listening and nodding understandingly, “I also don’t feel like driving.”

Jisung laughs, “I can’t drive so I’d be zero help with that, but I can help with your laundry. Do you need any assistance?”

“I’m good,” you shake your head. “Thanks, though.”

Jisung nods. “Cool.”

“Cool.”

You both know shit is anything but cool. And if you’re being completely honest, the silence that fills the room is a tad bit awkward. You’re sure you’re both thinking the same thing, though neither of you want to say it. However, there’s a major difference between a want and a need.

“We need to address the elephant in the room,” he initiates.

You sigh—in relief or not, Jisung can’t tell. “So I’m not the only one who realized.”

So, maybe your analogy was slightly wrong. Maybe sex wasn’t a perfect remedy for your Jisung situation. Or maybe Haechan’s made-up saying needs some clarification: sex is a temporary remedy, that eventually subsides into a plethora of other problems.

False advertisement.

“Yeah,” Jisung chews at his lip, “it’s been gnawing at me for a while. I mean, I get that it was supposed to be a one-time thing, but I can’t be the only one that’s having trouble forgetting.”

He isn’t, much to your misfortune, and it’s been gnawing at you. It’s even worse since Haechan hasn’t acknowledged that day since it happened, and you don’t have it in you to bring it up this time. You know he’s down to try lots of things, though at some point there’s a line you know better than to cross.

Yet the lingering memory is still tattooed onto your brain, and you can’t simply forget how wonderful it felt for Jisung to touch you; how good and deep he felt inside you; how perfectly his fingers felt on your clit; how blissful you felt when you came in his embrace. It doesn’t help that Jisung is impossibly attractive, and you can’t help but want to do things to him, or let him do things to you—you couldn’t care less.

“No, me too,” this time it’s you struggling to hold eye contact, opting to look down, “but Haechan already has, and is it really worth going behind his back?”

Jisung pokes his cheek. “I know. We don’t have to act on it, I just wanted to get it off my chest.”

“Okay.” You look up at him again. He’s still looking at you, unfaltering. “Wanna watch a movie with me?”

He nods a little. “Yeah. Sure.”

Fetching the remote, you open Netflix under Chenle’s account (poor him. The cons of sucking at GamePigeon 8ball.) and select a movie. It’s nothing spectacular, but holds your attention fairly well for a while. Nothing new seemingly happens with Jisung—he’s not on your lap, though still touchy, replacing his head with his hand as he lies his head on your shoulder. It shouldn’t bother you but it does, goosebumps breaking out on your skin. As if things couldn’t get any worse, your body refuses to listen to your brain, allowing itself to look at his hands as your brain shouts at it not to. With the sight of his fingers planted firmly into your brain, showering little seeds, it’s impossible to forget those six days ago. Even if you try and push the memory away, it’s helpless. Your body remembers, and doesn’t want to forget.

His slender fingers plunging inside you is all you can think about. You shut your eyes, yet the image burns into your eyelids. You open them again, yet it’s still there, fueled more by sight of his fingers close to you. It doesn’t help that they’re dangerously close to the inside of your thighs, the proximity making you sweat.

“Are we gonna pretend you don’t want me to finger you right now?”

His voice startles you. Jisung knows you think he hasn’t caught you, but he does—he did. It’s impossible to ignore the burn of your stare.

Fuck, when did he get so bold? “Jisung,” you whine, already sensing this is going to head in a direction you simultaneously do and don’t wish for it to.

“I want to do the right thing, I really do, but it isn’t easy knowing you want me, I want you, and we’re not doing anything about it,” he’s slowly rubbing circles onto your thigh, which is significantly bare since you’re in un-lengthy Dolphin shorts, “can’t we do it one more time? Fuck it out?”

“You and I both know that if we do it again this won’t be the last time,” you say.

He doesn’t look half-bothered by the idea. “That’s not something we have to worry about right now though, right?”

Fuck.

You know better than to give in like this, but it’s much too late the moment he sneaks you inside his room and lies you flat on his bed. You also know that you could stop at any time you wish, but as terrible as it sounds, you don’t want to stop. It’s basically been said that you’ll deal with the consequences later, letting impulsivity win.

“Can I taste you?” His voices sounds so hot when he says this. You can’t help but nod, allowing himself to have his way with you.

Jisung tugs down your shorts in fervor, your panties following suit and meeting one another in a growing pile on the floor. He’s seen it before, though he can’t help but gawk at the sight your cunt, dripping with arousal and he’s hardly even touched you. You’re so pretty to him that he can’t help but run a finger through your folds, spurred on further when you gasp aloud.

“Never done this before,” he says, yet he sounds ready as ever, “so tell me what to do.”

Impatiently, you nod. “Just go with the flow and I’ll help you from there.”

Your eager motion and the way you buck your hips up is more than enough to signal to Jisung that you’re ready. He takes it as you giving him the green light to begin, tongue experimentally prodding against your folds. It’s like all his hesitance dissipates the moment he gets a hold of you, as though the mere taste of you has put a spell on him that he can’t wake up from. He isn’t sure what comes over him in this moment, though he knows that he wants to savor it—the taste, the feeling, the craving. A single taste of you is enough to fill him with greed and then he’s eating you out like he just can’t get enough of you, as though there’s a burning fervor coursing through his veins that can’t be ceased.

“Sungie,” you cry. It’s been a couple of days since you’ve been given head and you’d consider that a while, so the relief is extra phenomenal. You’re sure that even if it had been yesterday, you’d be just as weak to his touch.

Then, so torturously, he pulls away. Before you can complain, Jisung shushes you. “I’m sorry, but you have to be quiet. Renjun’s here.”

Your eyes widen slightly. You had honestly completely forgotten about the other, though fortunately, this isn’t your first rodeo. If there’s anything sneaking around in the middle of the night with Haechan has taught you, it’s how to be quiet. The only reason Jisung’s overheard you is because his room happens to be directly next to the one that your boyfriend owns.

“I can be quiet,” you murmur.

Jisung scoffs. “Sure, you can.”

Affronted, you’re inclined to protest, until Jisung’s lips meet your pussy again and you’re silenced, digging your teeth into your bottom lip to muffle any potential sounds you might make. He picks up again, listening with super-sense to the quiet moans you utter as you’re unable to hold all of the volume in. It helps him apply his knowledge, playing close mind to what garners pleased reactions from you and your body.

His tongue skirts around, and he gets the wonderful idea to target your clit. The moment the muscle swirls it’s way there, you know that staying quiet is gonna be more difficult than you thought. Your lips nearly shudder shut and he pushes them open, his grip firm as he spreads you apart ever so gently.

“G-good, feels so good,” you moan softly, careful to lower your volume, “you’re doing so well.”

Jisung’s tongue is anything but gentle, however. Spurred on, he darts his tongue like it knows magical spells of it’s own, putting one on you that you fall deeper into with every stroke. The pressure feels amazing, and you can practically feel your heartbeat between your thighs. It’s honestly admirable how quick of a learner he is, paying full attention to how your body responds to his touch and solely acting on that. No previous experiences, just you and his intuition.

You really don’t have to tell him what to do. If there’s any question, you naturally give him the perfect answer. When you moan, when you whimper, when you beg. When your thighs quiver and your hips buck up in greed, it’s all a telltale signal of arousal, perfect sign of pleasure. In the moment, your fingers reach for his hair, threading through his locks and drawing him closer to you desperately. You want to feel this to the maximum, until you quite literally are numb.

It’s a miracle that you’re far from numb right now though, feeling every lap. He’s making you feel so good and it’s so hard to stay silent to the point where you’re contemplating stuffing your fist in your mouth. If Jisung was extra nosy, he would have seen another video of you and Haechan on his MacBook, a video of Haechan eating you out while everyone else was seemingly asleep. You wonder if Jisung was listening in that night, if he heard your muffled sounds after Haechan stuffed your mouth with your panties. Gosh, you aren’t sure why the thought of him hearing you in such lewd ways still arouses you. You just know that you want him to have you, you want to pry into his mind and carry out every fantasy he’s ever imagined as he got off to the sound of you.

If this was amazing, you don’t think that there’s an accurate word in the dictionary to describe the feeling of what Jisung does next. He presses his tongue inside you, his hand replacing his mouth as he simultaneously plays with your clit. Your whole body feels hot now, like piece by piece, you’re being consumed by fire.

Between watching you struggle to conceal your moans, and the way your face scrunched in pleasure as you do, he doesn’t know what’s hotter. He could do this forever if it meant seeing you break on his tongue like this. Hastily your resolve is cracking, and he knows he could have you wrapped around his finger. In fact, he thinks he probably already does. It may be wrong, though it’s only fair since you’ve had him wrapped around yours since the moment he met you.

Then he notices something—your moans are getting louder, your thighs are quaking more, and overall you look so much more blissed out. That could mean only one thing: you’re close. He knows he doesn’t have to, but he pulls away.

“Jisung!” if it wasn’t for the fact that Renjun was home, you think that you’d probably scream your lungs off. You’re also beginning to think that Haechan influencing Jisung was a bad decision. “You know that you don’t have to edge me, right? Like, even if I cum from foreplay, you can make me cum again.”

“I know,” he smiles, licking your juices off his mouth, “but I wanted to.”

Scratch that. It was a horrible decision. Now, Jisung’s equally as much of a sadistic piece of shit as Haechan.

Before you can whine, he says, “But I’ll make it up to you, if you let me,” he starts palming you with his hand, earning these little moans from you. Then he looks at you, with that pretty gleam in his eye that makes you want to fuck the shit out of him. “Will you let me?”

Ultimately, you let him. It didn’t take much for you to cave in—he had already given you head, aroused you yet refused to let you cum, so now you’re desperate for an orgasm. Plus, this has already gone too far. It might’ve not done any wrong to stop things from going any further, yet it isn’t like it would do any good, either. You’re in too deep, once you’ve started you can’t stop.

Jisung undresses you, showing you that he remembers how to unclasp a bra, and then he undresses himself. The sight of your naked body isn’t foreign to him anymore, yet he’ll still continue to marvel as though it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Fuck that—it is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“I wanna ride you,” you say, snapping him out of his daze.

He blinks dumbly. “Huh?”

Gently, you push him onto his back. “I wanna ride you,” his eyes are on you, watching you with a lustful shadow dimming his eyes. “Are you gonna let me?”

“You can do whatever you want with me,” he tells you, gaze never once leaving yours.

Fuck, he’s so damn hot.

You straddle him, and once your knees are on either side of him you sink onto his dick, a sound of relief being drawn from both of you. Instantly you feel so full, yet that doesn’t stop the need built up inside you from yelling for a release. You allow yourself to adjust all over again before you start really moving, grinding onto him.

The stretch almost makes it feel like you’ve never been here before but you take it, fingers clutching his shoulders for leverage as his arms anchor around your waist, keeping you in close proximity. You’ve allowed him to go in bare again so the feeling is as raw as it was the first time around, yet Jisung still doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to this. How your walls tighten around his dick, how the wet squelch of your cunt sounds when he enters you. It’s fucking mesmerizing—you’re fucking mesmerizing, and he’s happy to have you all to himself even if it’s for a moment.

“How does it feel, Sungie?” You ask, already having your answer when you look at his face.

The same way Jisung can see through you, he’s like glass to you, a mirror even. He’s beautiful beneath you, face scrunched up in pleasure, and the tightening grip on your waist is a crystal clear sign that he’s enjoying this. It’s entertaining hearing him trying not to moan, his sounds muffled as deep little grunts that you’re sure he’s oblivious of how fucking sexy they are. In contrast you can’t stop thinking about what lives rent-free in your mind, wishing you could be louder so that you’d hear the full extent of his beautiful sounds.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight,” he growls, surprising yet pleasing you. If he keeps up the sexy noises, you’re going to cum hard.

You smile, “All for you.”

In this particular moment, it is all for him, and that’s enough for him. He likes that he’s able to get you wet, he likes that he turns you on, he likes that you want him, he likes that he has so much control and influence over your body. And you like when he treats you like you’re his.

Jisung also enjoys watching you fuck yourself on him, ever so desperately chasing your orgasm. He hates denying you it, but that unfortunately doesn’t make Haechan any less right. It is a part of the fun because it makes you needier, and there’s nothing he loves more than seeing you all delicate and fragile, so greedy for his touch. And in your determination to cum, you’re using his shoulders to hold yourself together as your pussy swallows his dick. He knows it’s going to be a sight when you actually do cum, to see you fall apart on top of him as you finally reach your climax.

His gaze lingering on your body, Jisung suddenly feels the urge to touch you. You’re so beautiful all over, it’s only right that he appreciates every aspect of your body equally. Slowly, he drags his hands up from your waist to your breast, fundling with your breast. His fingers graze over your nipples and when you gasp, he can’t contain his smile. You’re so sensitive there, it’s so fun to mess with you simply to see you react.

“Your body’s so beautiful,” he’s really just thinking aloud at this point, but you enjoy the compliment, especially as you notice the in-awe gleam in his eyes. He looks like he’s seen you pluck a star from the sky, or summon the moon with your palm.

That’s when he gets an idea. One he’s always daydreamed about, yet never thought to ask you until now, when he’s thinking of all the ways to show your body love. “Is it okay if I kiss you? Not on the lips, but your skin.”

He thinks it sounds weird to ask, but you’re delighted by the question. “Y-yeah,” you answer mid-moan, and you can feel his dick twitching inside you, “just don’t bite or suck or do anything that’ll leave a trail and make marks.”

He hadn’t even thought about marking you, though now that you mention it, he really wishes he had the chance. He’s ignored the faint ones that linger on your body from your boyfriend, fading blotches of color. Instead, he does what he can, delivering little kisses to your skin. It starts from the valley of your breast, and slowly yet steadily falls down.

Jisung notices your breath getting shallower when you kiss him. When he passes by your breast, he makes sure to flick at your nipples with his tongue, driving an unsuspecting mewl from you. His kisses leave a hot sensation all over your body, like some kind of Midas Touch where everything he touches feel like fire. It’s a kind of fire you don’t want to be put out, that you want to let it’s flames eat at you and burn you. That’s exactly what Jisung’s touch does, and it’s driving you crazy. You don’t know how long you can keep this up before you have to let go.

You’re fucking yourself onto him at a steady rhythm, biting your lip profusely as you rock yourself against him, finding the spot that drives you to insanity. You look so fucked out but Jisung’s not any better, struggling just as much as you are to keep your sounds in. He’s so vocal, and you’d appreciate it more if it weren’t for Renjun being only some yards away.

You think of the perfect way to shush him, leaning in to crash your lips against his. With your eyes shut, you miss the way his go wide, yet he lets your mouth guide him and sinks his hands back around your waist. After all, he did say that you could do whatever you wanted with him.

Once you’ve confirmed he’s not backing away, you shift your hands from his shoulders to his hair, carding your fingers through there and drawing him closer this way. A particular movement causes him to moan in your mouth, and by then you feel beyond ecstatic. You feel high off of the pleasure, senses heightened and everything around you seems to slow. It’s a beautiful moment, filled with heavy breath and low moans, and you wonder if he feels the same.

Jisung pulls away, panting, “I’m not going to last.”

You guess that gives you your answer, because you’re so in sync, your body’s mirroring one another.

“Me neither. Fill me up, Sungie. Please.”

You’re clenching around him repeatedly, and he’s sure that’s what triggers his orgasm. That’s when Jisung meets his breaking point, biting his lip as his cum shoots inside you, yet you’re still close enough to hear the deep sound of his perfect groans. He recalls thinking that having you like this one tike would be enough for him to move on from you, but he’s onto his second and it’s already been somewhat established that there’s plenty more where this comes from. You just feel too good, more than he could have ever imagined.

The way you draw his name when you cum, clutching onto him so tightly as you work your way through his orgasm before leaning against his shoulders, it’s enough to spur him on once more. He’s realizing that he could seriously do this forever—you’re that addicting.

“Are you okay?” He asks through heavy breathing, holding you to his chest.

“I’m good,” you sigh, satisfied. “Thighs are kinda sore, but I’m good. What about you?”

Jisung rubs your thighs gently, but replies honestly, “I want to go again.”

You’re honestly astonished. You already knew that this wouldn’t be the last time, however you also didn’t expect the third to be so soon. You’ve hardly relaxed from this round, and the ache in your thighs is screaming at you to slow it down.

“My thighs ache, Jisung,” you laugh.

He pushes you onto your back, moving his head between your legs again and kissing softly at your thighs. “I’ll take care of you,” he whispers between kisses. “If you let me,” he gazes up at you, meeting your eyes. “Will you let me?”

In that moment, you feel purely hypnotized by him. Something tells you that this is a bad idea and that it’s getting out of hand, but it’s been that way since the moment this begun. You know it sounds corny, but though it’s wrong, you can’t stop this from feeling so fucking right.

And in that same moment, you realize that you’ll also let him do whatever he wants with you.

Sneaking around with Jisung becomes routine.

It’s like you two just can’t get enough of each other, drawn to the other’s body as though there’s some magnetic force between you, as though he’s a moth and you’re his flame.

When everyone’s back is turned, you find time to one another. Sometimes when the guys go away. Sometimes when they’re all asleep. Sometimes you even invite him over to the solace of your home, with no roommates, no one like you who uses the WiFi and the Netflix without paying even a quarter of a bill. Him and you. No more, no less.

Times such as now. Times when he has you backed against your front door as soon as he steps inside your apartment, out of sheer desperation. It isn’t always like this, sometimes you take turns taking control. Sometimes you fight for it until the other submits. Sometimes you’re so desperate for each other that neither of you can even think to care about control, just submitting to the desire in your bodies.

“Missed you, too,” you take his eager actions as a non-verbal way of saying I missed you. You gasp when he doesn’t respond, just pressing his lips to your skin. He doesn’t suck or bite, God knows he wants to though he knows better, but shows love to your body as he slides your shirt off.

It’s been longer than it usually is since the last time you’ve seen him, so he has every right to behave like a touch-starved virgin again. “God, I really fucking missed you,” he grumbles in your ear, cupping your chest. You bet he does. The reason you haven’t met up until now is because you two haven’t had the opportunity. It’s either the guy’s have been around more often, you’re prioritizing Haechan, or one of you are too busy and burdened with work to find time.

Speaking of your boyfriend, you don’t think he’s entirely clueless.

It isn’t like either of you are stupid enough to downright stick a hand down the other’s pants, however you’re still too touchy. Your fingers soothe through Jisung’s hair as his head lies in your lap, or his hand rests near the danger-zone of your thigh.

Haechan hasn’t brought this up, though you still feel the sting of his stare and it burns mightily. As a solution, you’ve come to the agreement to keep the contact to a minimum as long as he’s around, and use your place more often so that you aren’t starving each other of touch completely. It’s a solid plan. Haechan visits your place occasionally though not nearly as much as you visit the dorms, so you figure you two should be safe.

“Do you?” Jisung nods, not missing a beat and staring you down with the most hungry eyes. “Then show me, Sungie. Prove it.”

That’s all it takes for him to lead you to the couch and fuck you until you can’t even think — however if you could, you’d think that you honestly can’t handle it anymore.

There’s been times where you’ve almost been caught. Most recently, during the middle of the night the last time you stayed the night at the dorms. You decided to meet Jisung in his room for a quickie, slithering out of your boyfriend’s grasp and tiptoeing down the halls, thanking god that Haechan’s a heavy sleeper.

The minute you hooked your hand on his doorknob, you were given the scare of your life by no other than Huang Renjun (you swear, he’s always in the hallway at the most inconvenient of times ever.)

“What are you doing?”

You jumped. High as a Kangaroo. Turning to see who had caught you, you nearly let out a relieved breath when you realized it wasn’t Haechan. Then you realized it was Renjun, and all the panic in you resurfaced like clockwork.

Luckily, your lying skills are nothing short of impeccable because you follow one simple rule: don’t lie more than you have to.

“Going into Jisung’s room,” you answer honestly.

Renjun quirked his eyebrow. “In the middle of the night? Isn’t he asleep?”

“Oh, you know how he is. Afraid of everything under the sun, and he texted me that he had a bad nightmare so I volunteered to be his human teddy bear until he falls asleep.”

“Typical,” Renjun snorted, but he looked more convinced than you thought he would. “Good night, then. And tell him I said to grow up.”

Putting forward your best, oscar-worthy laugh, you told him goodnight back as he slipped away to his room, and you finally entered Jisung’s, shutting the door behind you and trying desperately hard not to laugh as you saw his face.

He frowned, “Scared of everything under the sun? Human teddy bear? Seriously?”

“You should be grateful that my oscar-worthy performance kept us from being found out,” you replied as you walked to his bed. It wasn’t unrealistic, Jisung doesn’t have nightmares as much as he used to anymore, though he’s certainly a scaredy-cat. You have no idea how he found the balls to sneak around with you. “Actually, I think I deserve a reward.”

Jisung pulled your shorts down your ankles, “You think so?”

“I do,” you smiled.

“Then,” Jisung paused to kiss you, addicted to the feeling of your lips ever since you first pressed them against his. It was a craving he didn’t even know he had until you gave him a taste. “Let me reward you.”

“This isn’t gonna be a quickie, is it?”

“Bet me,” he said, a little smirk on his lips that he slightly tried to hide. “How fast you think I can make you cum.”

He’s insane. That’s the conclusion you’d drawn from every moment you’ve spent naked beside him. You can’t deny it though, you like it, even if it’s a little dangerous and very unwise.

You furrowed your brows, “Bet? Like, money? Or orgasms?”

An even better currency in mind, Jisung shook his head. “Rounds.”

You knew what that meant. Jisung wanted you to himself. He was never satisfied with only one round — even if it meant overstimulating himself, he was desperate to have you until neither of you could continue, sore and exhausted from the work.

“Fine,” you agreed. “Six minutes. If you can’t, you get one round. If you can, then gosh, you deserve as many rounds as you want.”

To be honest, you never pay much attention to how fast he makes you cum, too caught up in the moment to even consider the amount of time you’d spent in that way, skin on skin, body to body. So the only person you’re sure has made you cum in six minutes or less is Haechan, because you explicitly remember him setting a timer to prove himself to you.

In spite of all that, Jisung looked confident. He passed you his iPhone and shifted to your bottom half, pushing your thighs open. “I’m ready when you are.”

Nodding, you set the clock.

Long story short, Jisung had as much fun as he wanted with you that night.

You’ve also been setting precautions. If it’s too risky for you to see each other in person, then you settle for exchanging nudes and things alike.

The first time it happened, you hadn’t actually intended for it to. It was more of a joke, you were texting each other and you playfully suggested that Jisung should send you a video of his own as reparations for his snooping. When he didn’t respond for a while you had your suspensions, but you didn’t think he’d actually hit you back with a video of himself, stroking his dick and moaning your name with a tremble in his voice.

In that moment you were given an idea of what it was like when he got off to your moans in another room, how he sounded and not so much how he looked since the focus was never really on his face, but you’ve seen his blissed-out expressions enough to come up with it on your own. It turned you on, enough to make you send back a video of your own, and from that day on it became a bad habit of yours to exchange explicit images and videos whenever you were separated.

It’s so late at night yet so early in the morning when the text hits your phone, I need you.

He caught you at a good time. Feeling hot and bothered yourself, you were honestly about to fetch your vibrator from it’s hiding spot in your closet because you knew your boyfriend had fallen asleep and assumed that Jisung had as well, at least until he texted you.

How bad is it? You send back, instead choosing to lie back on your bed, resting on your stomach as you wait for the typing bubble to transform into some type of message.

This bad. The attachment makes you bite your lip after he sends it. Sometimes when Jisung sends nudes of himself he isn’t very nude, he likes to send dick prints to tease you because he knows you want the full image. Though this time, his pants and boxers are discarded, he has his hand curled around the base of his erect dick, and you can tell at once that he’s much too desperate to be in the position to tease you. In fact, he’s probably hoping you’ll be generous to him.

He’s needy as hell right now, you can feel it. And how cruel would it be of you to not help him?

You grab your vibrator and prop your phone on your pillow, positioning it so that it’d film you perfectly. It’s late, and you have work tomorrow so you don’t have that much time to sext with Jisung, so you instead decide to send him a video you know will last him for now. You press record, and wiggle yourself out of your panties exaggeratedly, knowing he’ll love the gesture. He always does. Then you spread your thighs apart, enough so that he’d easily be able to see how wet you are. For a while you tease yourself with your fingers, allowing little moans to fall from your lips before you desperately reach for your vibrator.

The feeling of it against you almost makes you forget that there’s a camera watching you, and that this is supposed to be for Jisung more than it is for you. You’re not worried, however. The thought of him has successfully infiltrated your mind, and you can’t help but moan his name louder than your ears can register. With your eyes firmly shut, you’re imagining it’s him between your thighs—his dick, his mouth, anything. In this moment you, don’t care. You can’t care.

“J-jisung,” you whimper when you’re close, not once, not twice, but several times in a chant-like manner. You can only imagine how much he’ll love that, and if he wasn’t hard already, it would’ve certainly did the trick.

It feels explosive when you cum—literally. That’s when you come to the realization that you’ve squirted, and you find it a nice touch to end the video with. You send the message Good night to Jisung, making sure to attach the video before preparing for bed.

The next day when you find some free time, Jisung calls you briefly and asks you to come over, informing you that the guy’s are away and won’t be back for some hours.

Of course you’d never miss the opportunity to see him, and you were there in record-time, wearing a cute skirt you know he likes. Time is blur when he opens the door for you, and you hardly remember what happened in the time between you walking inside and him sitting you atop the kitchen counter.

He slithers his hand up your skirt, making you sigh in pleasure when he rubs you through your panties.

“Missed this so much,” Jisung murmurs, acting as though he hasn’t seen you in days. You didn’t think it was possible, but somehow you’ve turned him from a virgin to a sex addict. He’s seriously a fiend for you, but you don’t mind it.

You snort. “You always miss me.”

“Yeah, well,” you can sense the disappointment in his voice, but you don’t know where it’s coming from, “I miss you more now because you kinda left me hanging last night.”

Is he talking about you not sexting him? There’s no way, you sent him a whole video. He isn’t entirely insatiable. “What do you mean? I sent you a video?”

“No, you didn’t,” when Jisung fills you stiffen in his grasp, he stops and steps back. The realization creeps up on him as quickly as it does you.

Your voice at a whisper, you quietly muse, “Then who did I send it to?”

“Me.”

You think you’re going to be sick. You don’t even have to turn your head, you can tell it’s Haechan from the sound of his voice. Still you do, your heart hammering against your chest as you look him the eyes. He’s standing by the door and you have no idea how long he’s been there, but you know it’s definitely been too long.

“Hyung,” Jisung looks equally horrified, “I thought you left.”

That’s right. Jisung did tell you everyone had left, and it surely seemed like they had. No cars outside, the apartment was quiet, and void of all life save for you and him. You had made a mistake, and fuck, so did he.

“I was asleep,” Haechan shrugs discardingly, too nonchalant to be relaxing. “Having fun here, aren’t we?”

You start, “Haechan, I—”

“Can explain? I don’t want to fucking hear it,” he’s upset, and it’s finally seeping through his calm demeanor. “When I saw that video I’m thinking I’m waking up to a sweet morning surprise from my girlfriend, ya’know, and then I hear you moaning my best friend’s fucking name,” his gaze pans to Jisung, who then practically cowers.

Fear has consumed half your body, though lust consumed the other half. You can’t help but bite your lip at the way your boyfriend looks when he’s mad, pushing your thighs together — and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

“You’re fucking turned on by this, aren’t now?” He’s doing that laugh, the one that’s more out of anger than genuine amusement. It doesn’t help you at all, because damn does he sound hot doing it. “You know what? Come on. You too, Jisung.”

Haechan hooks his arms around you and forces you down the hallway before you can even think to move. You know being thrown around by him shouldn’t turn you on and especially not right now, but you can’t help the way that the aggression combined with his angry attitude has you sopping.

Jisung trails behind, feeling as though he doesn’t have much of a choice. You can tell he’s scared shitless, but you on the other hand are somewhat thrilled to see where this’ll go.

You’re practically thrown onto the bed when Haechan takes you into his room, slamming your back onto his sheets without much care. “I’m going to play with you until I’m satisfied,” he announces, not leaving room for options. “And Jisung, you’re going to watch.”

Jisung’s Adam’s apple bobs. “Watch?”

“Yes, watch. You’ve been fucking my girlfriend right under my nose and think that I’m going to let you off easy?”

Neither of you are going to be let off easy, and that’s the scariest part about it.

He doesn’t say anything from then on, only dragging down your articles of clothing or pulling them above your head at paces nothing less than excruciatingly slow. You begin to feel bare and uncovered underneath him, as though nothing could escape him and as though he can see through you more than you could him in the moment. The inscrutable expression on his face as he strips you naked makes you feel like everything you’ve hid is being stolen from confines, open and on display for him. He can see so much of you, but you can’t tell what’s running through his mind as he touches you almost everywhere but where you need him to.

The little relief he’s permitting you as he hauls his fingers around your skin isn’t enough and you at least know that he’s aware of that, deliberately fighting shy of the space between your thighs. You try and squirm, to show any possible hint of you needing more, but Haechan moves his hands to hold your hips steady. “You’re only making this worse for yourself if you keep moving,” his grip tightens until you give up and lie still, realizing that cumming is probably going to cost you more than you initially thought. “I’m in control here. Not you, not him, me. If you want to cum, then you’ll have to play by my fucking rules.”

You lift your gaze to Jisung, finding him staring back at you. The look on his face appears as unsure as it had the second you were caught, but the bulge in his pants betrays any lack of will present in him. If he could, you know that he’d be running his hands all over your body too, and you realize that that’s probably what’s going on inside his head.

You look away. “I’m sorry.”

The way Haechan snorts, you can tell he doesn’t believe you. He knows you’re only sorry because you want relief, and know the more you disobey him, the longer you’ll wait for it. “If you’re truly sorry, you’ll take what I give you like a good girl.”

The thud of your heart against your chest is loud, yelling at you when you feel him finally spread your thighs apart. You wonder if he can hear it too, the hunger and desperation in you calling for him in one steady rhythm. He moves like he’s willing to satisfy your greed, although not all at once, taking his precious time with you as he presses delicate kisses and rubs patterns onto the insides of your thighs. You whimper, but the dark, shadow-y look in his eyes as he gazes up at you shuts you up instantly.

“C-can I touch her?” Jisung asks tentatively.

Haechan doesn’t look back, doesn’t even think about it as he replies, “Not yet. You can touch her when I say you can.”

He’s dipping his head onto you again, not to say he ever really left. You moan a little when he licks at you, fighting the urge to buck your hips onto his mouth in reluctance to anger him further. You don’t know what the consequence would be if you did, and you’re fine without knowing. Still, the pace he sets is agonizing and it takes everything in you not to let temptation prevail. You know you did a bad thing. You also know that bad behavior doesn’t get rewarded, but you can’t help but feel a little selfish, wishing he’d give you a little more instead of teasing you beyond imaginable.

Eventually, the little licks do become more, gradually developing from gentleness to Haechan lapping at you with the eager movements of his tongue weakening you as he becomes unable to resist his own temptations. As you grip his hair forget there’s even anyone else in the room with you, weak in a way you had never allowed yourself to become for Jisung. This type of fragility is what he hears at night and what he saw in the video, but what he’d never be capable of having. You’ve been desperate for him too, but Haechan’s broken you beyond desperation. He’s teased you until your cunt physically aches, then filled you with pleasure that gives you whiplash.

“Hyuck, Hyuck,” your knees feel weak, and you can’t even think. All you know is that this feels good, and you fucking need him.

“You wanna cum, angel?” He coos, only moving away from your cunt for a second before he’s latching onto you again.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant. “Please.”

Your stomach feels like a rollercoaster, your gut flipping, turning, twisting, spinning—and everything in between. You can feel your orgasm approaching and you know that Haechan can too, with your body quivering in his grasp, your sounds increasing in frequency and volume, and your clutch on his locks tightening without you being capable of noticing.

In short, your stomach feels like an insane rollercoaster, your gut flipping, turning, twisting, spinning—and everything in between. You can feel your orgasm approaching you quickly and you’re sure that Haechan can too, especially from how your body quivers in his grasp, your sounds increase in frequency and volume, and your grip on his locks tightens without you being capable of noticing. It’s almost as though your body is physically here, yet you’ve elevated off in heaven somewhere. But when he pulls away just before that invisible string in you can snap, you feel shoved back into torturous reality.

“No!” You whine.

“You really think you deserve to cum?” The way he looks at you feels so degrading that you can’t resist shaking a little underneath him as he hovers above you, “I’m going to edge you until you understand that this pussy is mine.”

“No, no, no,” you whimper, “please let me cum, Hyuck. I’ll be good, I promise.”

Haechan scoffs. “Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that? You weren’t worried about being good when you decided to be a slut for Jisung.”

The mention of Jisung gives you the rough reminder than he’s still in the room again, watching closely how pathetically you unravel before your boyfriend. You can tell that he wants to do something but he’s mentally debating it, and he shies up every time you shift your gaze over to him again. He’s more nervous now that he’s been directly mentioned, unsure of what to do and how to react in a scenario like this. He knows he shouldn’t touch you, but should he be ashamed if he were to touch himself? Should he feel guilty about the things he’s done with you when your boyfriend’s back was turned?

“I, I didn’t—”

“You didn’t what, babe?” He crooks his head. “Go ahead and tell me another lie.”

It’s almost embarrassing how easily Haechan makes you feel like such a pathetic mess. You can’t even find the words to say in response to that, and he’s simply amused by how quiet you’ve gone. It was never like you expected him to placate you after finding out about everything you did behind his back, but you didn’t think it would hurt to try, hoping he would show you some type of mercy and be even a little lenient. You know that he didn’t deserve for this to happen to him and that you don’t deserve even a sliver of his mercy, but you had hoped that maybe he would still find it in him to grace you with it anyway.

When Haechan moved his lips from between your thighs, soaring up your body and re-starting his teasing journey at your neck as he peppers the skin with gentle kisses that you know only temporarily betray his attitude, you had then accepted that nothing comes without a cost, and that this was your price to pay. He played fake soft with you, treating you like you had a fragile label warning printed across you in spite of being completely aware that you wanted more, that you needed more and would never be satisfied with what little he was giving you. That was what made it more fun for him though, because it seemed like no matter what amount of pleasure he was generous enough to give you, you would take it for granted and not value it enough.

Then Haechan’s movements get fiercer as he continues to follow this torturous pattern of gradually fulfilling your desires, kissing developing into biting and sucking at your flesh in ways that make you gasp out in response, and ways he knows will leave marks on your skin. He was satisfied that Jisung had at least successfully avoided that and you couldn’t imagine what side of him would unravel if he hadn’t. Haechan liked to joke and play around at times but he was never truly all that possessive over you unless you had truly set him off, and this was one of those instances where you had.

There isn’t a single sign of reluctance in him as he marks you up more and more little by little, sucking red spots into your neck and falling steadily down the rest of your body to cover every area he could. He knows that they aren’t tattoo permanent, but not extremely temporary either. In the moment you would feel him decorating your skin, but afterwards you would look in the mirror and see how he had left you covered practically head to toe in marks. If you were bold enough to try and sneak around with Jisung again, he would be reminded that you didn’t belong to him and you never would. You’re Haechan’s, and Haechan’s only.

Jisung speaks up again, asking in the faintest, meek voice, “Can I touch myself?”

For once it manages to make Haechan pause, and ultimately causes you to whimper by instinct when the rough contact between your skin and his mouth is broken, but the moment is thankfully brief when Haechan shrugs, “Go ahead.” Then he’s continuing again.

At the same time, Jisung manifests every sign of being eager to get his clothes off, desperate to feel some sort of relief that he’s been refused recently. He had planned on breaking that spell, on having you to himself today even if it was only for a while, and honestly couldn’t and wouldn’t have predicted that this would happen. After going without being inside of you for the past couple of days on top of you ghosting him last night (whether you intended to or not), he felt starved of everything he was craving.

Touching himself felt no where as good as being inside you would, and especially after he finally had received the experience to prove it, although it’s better than nothing and he’s accepted that Haechan is likely not going to let him anywhere near your body — not until he’s done playing whatever game he calls this. You would nickname it torment, and so would Jisung.

You’re back to square one soon enough, with Haechan reappearing between your thighs once more, still acting slowly and rather teasingly although not nearly as much as he had the first time around. As you feel his mouth on you, your sounds mix with the ones that Jisung audibly makes as he strokes himself to the sight, practically bouncing off of the walls. “Be quiet,” Haechan whispers momentarily, and you immediately frown. You instantly feel the urge to question why he suddenly has a problem with you making noise, but you figured it would be best to fight against them. If you thought about it, lacking self-control is what landed you in this particular situation in the first place.

In your attempt to hold back any sound, you bite the walls of your cheek. He has you right there on the edge again, at the point where it’s hardest for you to keep quiet, but you manage to comply with his rules. It’s relaxing your body that feels impossible, especially when he’s pushing the right buttons. Your thighs begin to tremble, and your senses feel so heightened that you could almost cry. You’re right there, so close, your orgasm practically in arm’s reach—yet then he torturously snatches it all away once more. This time you do cry, however for an entirely different reason than you anticipated. “Haechan, please let me cum. I’m sorry, I’ll do anything!” you’re past the point of caring that Jisung’s seeing you like this, all capability of feeling embarrassment and shame leaving you as you’re filled to the brim with nothing but denial and want. “Please.”

Swiping his thumb over your eyes, he coos mockingly, “Aw, did you wanna cum? Do you think you deserve it?”

You’re nodding your head impatiently, unable to stop the trail of tears that stream down your cheeks. “I’ve been—I’ve been good, Hyuck. I did everything you told me to do.”

Haechan seemed to debate the decision of his next move in his head, going back and forth with himself a couple of times before ultimately deciding he would he allow you a deal. “Here’s the deal: I’m gonna fuck you, and you better not make a sound unless I tell you to. If you don’t cum by the time that I do, then you won’t cum at all. Got it?”

Again, you nodded fervently, sealing your lips shut in fear of messing up your opportunity to cum before you ever really got the chance if you opened your mouth. Haechan stripped himself of his clothes in what felt like seconds, throwing them onto the floor to be concerned over another time. He had truthfully wanted to be inside you when he saw that video you’d accidentally sent him, just to prove to you that no one could ever make you feel as good as he could. He had a particular motive in not letting Jisung touch you, too. He was punishing not only you, but the both of you, and he wanted Jisung to see that no matter how much you crawled to him, you were Haechan’s. You belonged to him entirely, and he could please you like no other. It wouldn’t matter how good he was because Haechan was better, and with every second that passed, he proved it time and time again, relentlessly.

So when Haechan thrusts inside you, there’s no doubt that Jisung feels jealous. It’s his own fault for messing with someone who didn’t belong to him, but he’s attached to you in a way that he doesn’t think he could be with anybody else.

“Shit, babe,” he slides in easily, both from the fact that you’ve been dangerously aroused since the moment he grabbed you and the fact that he’s edged you twice already.

You had almost whimpered at the feeling of him gliding inside your cunt, but then you remembered the terms of your agreement and settled with digging your teeth into your bottom lip with a force slightly dangerous. In this moment, you’re content. All you had wanted was to be filled and Haechan does so greatly, shoving his girth inside you as though he had been waiting for this moment his whole life. With how much he had been edging you, you never really realized how much his own need was growing.

“Fucking slut,” Haechan growls, watching how eagerly you take him. You look like such a mess, cheeks stained with tears, skin covered in marks, and your body practically shaking in response to the pleasure. “Needed dick so bad you fuck my friend behind my back?”

When you don’t reply, his palm lands on your ass, causing you to barely hold in a moan. “That was a question, baby.”

“I—‘m sorry,” is all you can bring yourself to say. There’s no use in coming up with a better response, you already know there’s no words you could use that would placate him.

“I didn’t fucking ask if you were sorry though, did I?” he smacks your ass once more, and this time you’re unable to contain the loud yelp that tears from between your lips. “And I told you to shut the hell up. But I know you can’t think with nothing but that greedy fucking pussy.”

You’re then distracted by the ever so inviting sounds of Jisung’s moans the second they ripple through the air, instantly shifting your gaze towards him and observing how hot he looks as he gets himself off to this, to you, his hair in front of his face and his lips parted agape. He sounds as beautiful as he looks, eyes squeezing shut in a deepening moan as he strokes himself with his palm. If you were in your full mind, you would have realized that you’re only further proving your boyfriend’s point, however you just can’t help but still want the both of them—together.

Haechan slows his movements until he stops entirely, then grips your chin, slightly rough yet you display no sign of disliking it. In fact, it’s probably worse how much you enjoy him manhandling you. You’re so close to whimpering when he goes still, hardly remaining silent and although he doesn’t mention it, you know he could tell. “Look at me, not him. You’re fucking mine,” he enunciates the single syllable with one sharp, deep thrust. “This pussy is mine,” he repeats the motion again, rocking your body forward and nearly forcing a moan from you, “now tell me who you belong to.”

Weakly, you answer, “Y-you.”

It’s clear that Haechan isn’t moving again until you’ve complied, and he seems unsatisfied by your response. Your thoughts are confirmed when he instead smacks your thigh, resulting in tears to prick your eyes once more.

“Not satisfied. Try again.”

“You, Hyuck, f-fuck,” you sound weakened and broken, attempting to speak through your sobbing, “I’m yours, I belong to you! Only you. N-no one—no one but you.”

That seems to do the trick, because he finally re-starts thrusting into you habitually, temporarily making your vision go black when he strikes a particular, sweet spot. There’s no one word that perfectly captures how he feels inside you, and you wouldn’t even bother to try and think of one. Hell, you’re beyond the point of thinking. You would’ve been embarrassed by how dumb you’d gone at this point, unable to comprehend how loud you’re being and that you’re essentially breaking one of the terms of your deal. Haechan’s in too deep to stop now though, wanting to feel how you perfectly take every inch of him, and instead comes up with a better solution.

“Jisung, come—s-shit—come fuck her throat,” Haechan barely manages to grunt out, his own eyes closing firmly and his moans getting louder with every passing moment. “I know that’ll make a slut like her shut the fuck up.”

At first the command takes him by surprise, though then Jisung’s rushing over to fuck your throat without needing to be told twice. He’s a little unsure if you had even registered the words that left your boyfriend’s mouth, however he can’t find it within him to stop once he slips into your mouth. He can’t stop the moan that tumbles from between his own when he feels your mouth around him, neither, the warm sensation already feeling levels bettet than his palms. It’s then that he realizes you’d never sucked him off before, that it had always been him giving head and you on the receiving end—not that he minded. He loves giving you head and watching the way your body reacts to his touch. However he discovers that he also likes the way your mouth feels.

He’s dreamed about this, and the reality is so much better than the expectations. You’d seemed a little lost when you noticed him in your mouth, but you sucked anyways, assuming Haechan had finally allowed interaction between the both of you and being glad about it. You also feel bad that he had been abandoned on his own for so long, unable to do much but watch, and wanted to please him to the best of your ability. The look on his face is hard to concentrate on when your boyfriend’s simultaneously fucking into you relentlessly, but the glimpses of it that you do manage to catch tell you that you’re most likely doing a great and successful job.

“S-shit, you feel so good,” Jisung moans, practically feeling his whole body tingle.

You’re almost overwhelmed by the feeling of having two dicks in you, although it’s clear as day that he isn’t going to last extremely long, especially considering that he had already been getting himself off beforehand. You listen to his deep groans while simultaneously watching the way Haechan’s face twists and scrunches with pleasure, the three of your sounds—although yours muffled—mixing together as one. 

“G-gonna cu—f-fuck,” Jisung grunts, unable to finish his sentence before he’s filling your mouth with his cum, his eyes firmly closed as he murmurs a set of curses. He pulls away when he’s finished, watching with awe as you swallow as much as you can, and admiring the way you look as whatever you couldn’t take in your mouth dripped down and decorated your chin. 

There’s something about the way you look at him that honestly makes him feel like he could cum again right then, right there. 

Deciding slapping your ass isn’t effective enough, Haechan slaps your cunt to grab your attention, not caring that you whimper from the unexpected impact and almost tempted to do it again because of how sweet you sound. “Focus on me,” he commands, and you comply. “You close?”

Forgetting about what had happened earlier, you simply nod in response, much to his dissatisfaction. 

Haechan slapped your cunt again, “It’s like you never learn, baby. Use your words.”

“Y-yeah, I’m close,” it’s written all over your face, you know he’s only asking for a chance to torment you some more, “can I—can I cum?” 

“S-shit, cum for me babe. You better do it before I do,” he says, reminding you that you wouldn’t be allowed to cum if you didn’t by the time that he had. He’s just as close as you were, moaning needily, his grip on your waist tightening almost bruisingly. His thrusts get deeper yet they aren’t as precise as they were initially. 

Whatever happens in the next couple of moments you don’t process, save for your orgasm and the feeling of Haechan’s cum filling you to the brim, warm and thick. He stops moving eventually, slowing the way he rocks into your hips until he pauses completely. When he pulls out, he watches the way his cum drips from your cunt, unable to hide the proud smile developing on his face. He knows you like it too, recalling vividly all the times you’ve begged for him to cum in you. 

He scoops you into his arms afterwards, kissing your neck gently again, making you giggle when he avoids your mouth for obvious reasons. “You okay? Too rough?”

You shake your head. “I’m good.” He’s never too rough on you.

Jisung clears his throat from beside you, making you both shift your gaze to him. “So, um,” he begins awkwardly, “what now?”

The smirk on Haechan’s face is sinister, and you know whatever he’s thinking in his head can mean zero good, but a part of you is excited for it anyways. “We’re not done here,” he says plainly, then adds, “since you wanted it so bad, do you think you can take two dicks for us, y/n?”

You have no idea, but you guess you were about to find out. 

When you slowly nodded in confirmation, you swear you saw Jisung eyes twinkle a little in excitement. “Can we record it?” 

Haechan shrugs. “Is that okay with you, babe?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you reply, thrilled by the idea. If this was the last time you’d ever be with the two of them at once, then you wanted to be able to remember it vividly, and there was no better way than recording. 

Your boyfriend grabs his phone from the nightstand, grinning a little devilishly. “Are you ready?” When you nodded, he pressed record and immediately brought the camera to your face, still sticky with cum. 

“Smile for the camera, baby.”

[bahablastplz]

Battleground: Minho x Reader

Prompt: "Hii, i was wondering in you could write a one shot of alpha!minho x Alpha!afab. They met through their friend/roommate Jisung who is an omega, and they are enemies and Jisung has to break up their fights, but this one time they end up having sex while fighting for dominance." Content: Smut, angst, omegaverse, enemies to lovers, switch/dom Minho, switch reader, alpha reader/alpha Minho, afab!reader WC: 5000 Note: hi yes I got carried away with this but this was super fun to write. enjoy!

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You should have never trusted Jisung. This is often a motto of yours, actually, seeing as he’s responsible for nine out of every ten instances of trouble you find yourself in. But he has big pleading eyes and he can be so convincing that you throw caution to the wind every time he speaks. 

You needed a new roommate. Your old one bailed on you (thank god, because she was actually the worst). She was filthy and never cleaned up after herself. She left dishes in the sink, piles of trash for you to take care of, and was blatantly rude. You let out a sigh of relief when she told you she was moving and it took all of two days for her to fuck off for no apparent reason. She left your life as violently as she entered it, however, leaving piles and piles of her junk for you to take care of as well as half of the rent once again. 

You wish that you could lie and say that you could afford it by yourself but you simply couldn’t. It was just too far out of your spending limits and so… you needed to find a new place to live. 

When Jisung suggested you come to live in his spare bedroom, it really didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. You knew the omega well enough; he wasn’t the cleanest in the world but he’s a step up from your old roommate for sure. Plus he was one of your closest friends. If anything, you knew you would feel comfortable around him. The only reason you had hesitated at first is because everybody always tells you not to live with your friends. Somehow you doubted this would be an issue with Jisung though. 

It would be fine, right? You’ve heard only good things about his other roommate, Minho. Jisung jokingly refers to him as his platonic soulmate sometimes but you don’t really know anything else about him. You were a little weary about sharing a living space with two omegas and all, being an alpha yourself, but you were no asshole alpha. They would have nothing to worry about. 

Once again, you should have never trusted Han Jisung. 

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“What are you doing? You’re going to scare her away!” You hear through the door of the apartment. You’re a little unsure when you hear muffled shouting and you feel an uneasiness in your stomach that you ignore but you can’t help to continue to listen. “Why are you acting like you don’t want her here?” 

“Because I don’t. We don’t know her!”

“You don’t know her. I know her perfectly well and you should trust my judgment.” You use this as the opportunity to knock on the door which swings open to a wide-eyed Jisung. He looks guilty of something and you’re confused before it hits you all at once. 

The apartment reeks of cinnamon. Every crevice and corner is dripping of the strong smell to the point you can hardly smell Jisung’s vanilla, even if you really focus. That’s when you come to the realization that Jisung’s roommate isn’t an omega… He’s an alpha. One intentionally covering the whole apartment with his smell before he even gets to know you to assert his dominance. You fight back the urge to roll your eyes at the stereotypical alpha behavior and you resist the urge to cover your nose at the smell. Just because Minho is being rude doesn’t mean you need to be rude in return. 

And before you can even say anything to greet him, he’s walking away and slamming his door shut. You give Jisung a look and he’s already looking at you apologetically. 

“I’m sorry,” he winces. “I really am. He’s not usually like this, I swear. I don’t know what’s going on–” 

“Jisung,” you interrupt. “You never told me he was an alpha in the first place!” 

His mouth opens slightly in a small ‘o’ shape. “I didn’t?” 

You sigh at him and take a deep breath. “Just help me with these boxes, okay?” And as if he’s eager to be back on your good side, he helps you without a fuss. 

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It’s two entire days before you even see Minho again. It agitates your own alpha, really, knowing that there’s someone else in your living space you haven’t gotten a proper chance to meet and scope out. But you’ve finally gotten yourself settled into your space and you have to admit it’s nice being so close to Jisung all the time. 

You stumble out of your room after an afternoon nap to find him cooking in the kitchen. It takes you by surprise, honestly, because for someone who has already tried to be so stereotypically alpha, it just seems like a very… omegan activity. You tell yourself it’s not polite to pass judgments on someone you hardly know, especially regarding their secondary gender, so you don’t say a word about it. You do, however, make an attempt to properly introduce yourself.

“Hello,” you say lightly. Minho’s shoulders tense up for a second before they relax. “I’m Y/N.” He doesn’t turn around and he doesn’t say anything. You make a face from behind him, where he can’t see you. What is his deal? You lean against the wall, trying to think of a way to make conversation. If this were anybody else, you wouldn’t bother but… you’re doing this for Jisung, after all. This is supposed to be one of his closest friends aside from you. “How long have you known Jisung for?” you try. 

“Longer than you,” he scoffs. This catches you off guard as you’re not quite sure what to make of the statement. Is he trying to be possessive over the omega or is he just trying to show you that he’s winning whatever competition this is? 

“Oh. How long would that be? I’ve only known him for two years or so, but we’ve grown really close–” Minho finally spins around and you make eye contact for the first time. His harsh gaze is the first thing you really notice about him, his feline eyes sharp as they stare daggers into you. He’s very pretty, you note, and it almost pisses you off even more. How can someone so attractive be such an asshole? 

“You’re not my friend,” he says, pointing a wooden spoon at you threateningly. “This was my space first and you have no right to intrude and try to be buddy-buddy with me. I don’t know you.” His words are blunt, to the point. He turns back around and… god, he’s trying to assert dominance again by shutting you up and ending the conversation here! Better yet, his cinnamon scent spikes and swirls around the room, haunting you. 

You won’t retaliate with your own scent. You’re better than that. But that doesn’t mean you’ll let some alpha think he’s better than you and shut you up without a fight. “Who’s fault is that?” you spit. Minho freezes so you continue. “Who’s fault is it that you don’t know me, hmm? I never asked to be your friend, Minho. But I’m not here to intrude and I’m not here to take over your territory and become the new head-alpha, okay? I’m here because Jisung invited me. I’m here because I need a place to live! Is it really so fucking bad to think that maybe you can be civil with me? Instead you’ve been defensive since the second I walked through that door!” Your anger is spiking and you need to get control of yourself before you explode on him. You turn around and slam your door shut before you can say anymore. 

Once on your bed you fight the urge to punch something. You certainly let yourself get riled up fast. It annoys you that someone you don’t even know has this sort of effect on you. But you close your eyes and will the anger away, telling yourself that maybe, just maybe, it’ll get better. 

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It doesn’t get better. It gets a whole lot worse, actually. Your first movie-night in with Jisung you actually get nauseous with how much he reeks of Minho. 

“Jesus, Sung,” you tell him. “It smells like you rolled around with him right before you came into my room.” 

“Sorry,” he says apologetically. It’s so hard to be mad at him. It really is. “He’s been extra clingy lately for some reason.” 

“For some reason,” you grumble. You know exactly why. “He’s trying to intimidate me to stay away from you, probably.” 

“What? Minho would never do that!” he says. You glare at him and he cowers down immediately. “I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he admits. 

“I’m tired of him making me feel like I’m the crazy one here! Everyone I talk to shoots praises out of their ass for him and meanwhile, I’m public enemy number one. I seriously don’t know what his issue is with me and I’m getting sick and tired of everyone telling me what a great person he is!” you rant rather loudly, ending with a great sigh. 

“Have you tried talking to him?” Jisung asks. You feel like you’re going to explode. 

“Yes, I have,” you tell him. “Multiple times. Each one ends in an argument or one of us storming off. I just can’t figure out what his deal is.” 

“Maybe–” 

“Sung, let’s just watch the movie, okay? I’m starting to get irritated and you’re not the one I’m upset with.” 

He concedes and snuggles in a bit closer to you, pressing play on the laptop. If you discreetly try to cover him in your own ginger scent? That’s between you and the moon goddess. 

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You find yourself in the midst of some sort of war and you’re on the losing side. Lee Minho has made it his life mission to inconvenience or irritate you in any way he can. 

Exhibit A: One morning you find yourself running late for class and you open your door just to trip over a conveniently placed pile of his shoes. Cursing his name in your head, you grab your backpack and run out the front door, just narrowly making it in time for the professor to start talking. Fast forward to the end of class when you pull out your folder just to realize that said folder is nowhere to be seen. Your homework which you spent over an hour on the previous night has vanished, gaining you a zero on the assignment. You’re sure you’re seeing red when you get home and your folder is on the kitchen counter.  

“I don’t know what game you think we’re playing, but sabotaging my grades is going too fucking far, Lee!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says as he sips on a cup of coffee. You fight the urge to throw it in his face. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t try to make me late for class and hide my folder!” you say, waving the folder in his face. He looks irritated but it’s no match for how you feel. 

“Your belongings are not my responsibility,” he says with an eye roll. “Next time maybe don’t misplace your stuff.” You leave because you’re not confident in your ability not to punch him. 

Exhibit B: Poor Jisung has tried to set up an apartment movie night. It’s a good idea, in theory, to try to get some supervised bonding. Jisung even sits right in the middle, anxiously picking at his nails the entire movie. That’s only after Minho accuses you of burning the popcorn and fighting with you over which movie to watch. Jisung ends up picking it. It was going well until he stretched his legs out over Jisung’s lap and into your space. You shove his feet off of you faster than he put them up. The action makes him almost fall off the couch and spill his soda all over himself and Jisung. 

The omega stands up covered in soda and huffs. “I give up!” he cries out in exasperation. 

“It’s her fault for pushing me–” 

“Give it a fucking rest!” you cry out. 

Everybody ends up in their respective rooms that night. 

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 You didn’t want to go to this party. You really didn’t but you figured that you owe Jisung big time for turning his apartment into a warzone. The omega already has social anxiety and doesn’t love parties himself so you promised you would tag along. 

Minho is here too. You tell yourself you won’t interact with him but you keep catching his eyes from across the room. Deep down you hope that maybe the alcohol will mellow him down a bit and make him more tolerable. And maybe you use alcohol as a coping mechanism this one night. You’re stressed and a walking ball of tension every second of each day, not even able to relax in your own apartment. 

You always have an eye on Jisung when you party together. But you indulge in some tipsy flirting for once. This guy is super cute, after all… freckled face, long blond hair that frames his face, and a deep, sensual voice that makes you giggle and fawn over him. You amp up the usual techniques, touching his arm and laughing at all of his jokes. And when he leans in close enough that you feel his breath on your neck you don’t stop him. 

But somebody else does. 

One second you're bracing yourself for a drunken kiss and the next a hand is wrapped tightly around your arm, pulling you away. You smell burnt cinnamon before you even realize what happened and the anger that bubbles in your chest is unlike any you’ve ever felt before. You retaliate just as fast with an overwhelming mix of ginger that smells so strong it burns your nose. Before you can yell you’re being pushed out the door and into the cold of the night. 

“What the fuck was that,” you spit at Minho. You yank your arm out of his grip. 

“We’re leaving,” he tells you. 

“Like hell we are! You don’t get a say of who I spend my time with or when I decide to leave.” 

“I get a say when you’re making idiotic choices,” he answers, voice low. He spins you around until you’re pinned against the wall and his skin burns hot against yours. 

“No, you don’t. You’ve made yourself loud and clear that you don’t give a fuck about me. My bad choices are mine to make, Minho, not yours.” 

“You’re not thinking straight,” he tells you once he finally lets go. He looks like he’s trying to convince himself more than you. “Felix… he’s… I know him from my dance studio, okay? Just.. trust me and don’t go home with him. You can’t kiss him. Not Felix.”

“From your dance studio? Wow, ladies and gentlemen! Lee Minho has revealed exactly one thing about himself! He’s a dancer!” you say with mock surprise. You stumble a bit and Minho steadies you by your waist. It only serves to piss you off even more. 

“Let’s go home, yeah?” he asks. It’s probably the softest you’ve ever heard his voice yet. 

“No. I think I’m going to go kiss Felix and you can go fuck off,” you protest. You cross your arms and you look away from him because his cheeks are also flushed from drinking and he worries his lips between his teeth so you can’t stand to see it. 

He takes a deep breath. “Y/N, I swear to god you’re going to walk home with me or I’ll throw you over my shoulder and bring you home myself.”

Before you snap back at him about how ridiculous he’s being, the door opens and Jisung steps out. “Guys?” he questions, looking back and forth between the two of you. You’re breathing heavily and your fists are clenched but your anger dissipates the second you see the disappointed look on Jisung’s face. He wanted you here to keep him company. To soothe his social anxiety and to prove that you could be there for him, to show up for him like old time’s sake. And just like that, the adrenaline high slowly fades when you realize you’ve let him down. Anger turns to sorrow and guilt and god, no you won’t let Minho see you cry but you bury your face into Jisung’s neck. You whisper an apology and tell him you want to go home. 

You can’t help but feel like Minho has won this round, in some roundabout twisted way. 

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You avoid leaving your room for the next day. You don’t really feel like you’re deserving of wallowing in your own sorrow, especially since the one who is impacted here is Jisung, not you. You’ve let him down. You don’t get to mope. So… what you’re doing is avoiding. Avoiding Minho and therefore avoiding any more conflict. 

It’s the next day you leave your room. You notice the scent of vanilla a little more sweet than normal and when you knock on Jisung’s door you notice he’s nesting. A mixture of your clothes and Minho’s are piled in his bed and you feel a pang of guilt in your chest. 

“You okay?” you ask. If Jisung is in preheat and you’ve avoided him for the past 24 hours, he’s probably feeling pretty antsy. He does let out a breath of relief when he sees you though and brings you in for a hug. 

But of course your timing is unfortunate because Minho unlocks the front door at that very moment. When he sees you in Jisung’s arms he growls, causing you and the omega to stiffen. Minho crosses the room in seconds and the smell of cinnamon behind you gets stronger. 

“Off,” he says low into your ear. You have half the mind to snap at him but Jisung’s vanilla scent burns. You back off, giving Jisung a small nod before disappearing to your room. The last thing you want to do is distress Jisung further just before he starts his heat. This needs to stop. It needs to end. 

Jisung leaves the next day to spend his heat in a hotel. Despite the apartment being more comfortable for him, the unit isn’t equipped to deal with the overwhelming scent of heats and ruts. You couldn’t afford a scent complaint fee. Jisung doesn’t complain as you help him pack his bags and you even help him into the hotel room. You offer your best support in helping him rebuild his nest though you don’t have the same omegan instincts as he does. 

“I’m sorry again,” you tell him before you leave. “For everything. With Minho. It’s… we’ll work it out. Okay? Love you Sung.” 

He gives you a sad smile. His heat should start by the morning, you would guess. You just hope he can be comfortable and not worry too much about you and Minho. 

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Minho is standing anxiously by the door when you get home. You half expect him to crowd you against the wall but he doesn’t, eyes glued to the floor instead. 

“You smell like him,” he tells you. 

“Yes Minho,” you reply sarcastically. “It’s like I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time. Jisung is my friend too. You don’t have to act all possessive of him all the time.” 

He hums. You feel your blood boil again. How does he get you so worked up to the point of your heart pumping a mile a minute every time you see him? 

“Minho. Be honest,” you start. He finally looks up at you. You can’t read his face. Your alpha goes back and forth between wanting to pounce on him and run away in fear. You need to do what you think is right. “Do you want me to move out?” 

You aren’t expecting his reaction. You expect him to laugh in your face. You expect him to be overjoyed. But instead he seems shocked. 

“What?” 

“What do you mean what? Don’t act like this isn’t what you wanted from the very beginning. You win, okay? I concede. You want your space? You want to be the only alpha again? This is it. This is your opportunity. I’m offering you a way out now. No more fighting. No more upsetting Jisung. If you want me gone, just say the word. Please. I’ll leave.” 

“Don’t.” 

“What?” You almost think you’ve misheard him but he takes a step closer and he looks at you with pleading eyes. “What is your gameplan then? Why make me miserable since the second I move in? Argue with me, tell me who I can and can’t kiss, for god’s sake make me fail a fucking assignment? If you don’t want me fucking gone, Minho, what the fuck do you want–” 

You’re cut off by his lips clashing against yours so hard your head would have hit your head against the wall if not for Minho’s hands holding you as if you’re something precious. Your teeth clank together but you’re breathing him in and reciprocating his affection just as violently as he gives it. When his tongue enters your mouth and you taste cinnamon you realize you’ve never hated the smell, never hated him… He kisses into you like he needs you to breathe, like he’s been in the desert and you’re his oasis. 

You’re not sure that a kiss has ever felt like this before. You think for a moment that you might not be able to kiss anyone again after this, everyone and everything lacklustre compared to Minho. Minho. Minho. Nobody has ever and will ever make you feel this burning, boiling… hatred? lust? desire? Whatever it is you feel, you’re not sure it could be replicated. 

When you wrap your leg around his waist he grabs under your knee, hoisting you against the wall. His mouth is all over you and he explores every inch of your mouth, your neck, your collarbone. Your hands take purchase on his shoulders, in his hair, you’re not sure but you want to feel every inch of him there is to explore. Cinnamon has never smelled so sweet.

Minho brings you into his bedroom and it’s the first time you’ve stepped foot into his space but you don’t take the time to look around. In fact, the only thing you notice is that his comforter is soft, soft against your back as he throws you onto his bed. Your clothes are all but shredded from your body and if you had claws you would have used them to get every inch of useless fabric off of Lee Minho’s body. It makes you angry that he’s still clothed, so angry that you forgo pleasure in replacement of ripping the clothes off of him harshly. He grins. He has that smug fucking grin on his face you want to wipe off and you kiss his stupid lips again. This time when you kiss you’re both completely naked and every part of your body that touches his is scalding. 

When you sit on his lap your bare pussy slides along his cock and you both groan. His hands are on your hips and in desperation you both move back and forth. Every time his cock catches on your entrance you both let out a hitched breath but neither of you can stop. 

“Fuck. I’m gonna knot you, you know that? I’m gonna fuck you so full and then knot you so that everybody knows you’re mine,” he pants as he ruts his cock against you desperately. Is this just another way for him to stake his claim over you? To show that he’s the true alpha? Oh hell no.

“You’re such an asshole,” you tell him with a hiss when he finally slides into you. He’s big. You already knew this from the (not so) dry humping just moments ago but it still pisses you off when he stretches you nice and full. “Stupid asshole alpha with a stupid big cock.” 

When he looks up at you it’s with adoration and it throws you off. His eyes gleam and his teeth are caught against his bottom lip in a sultry grin. He plants his feet against his bed and thrusts up into you hard and fast–you almost fall because you have no time to plant your hands anywhere for balance. But the almighty perfect Minho catches you before you fall because of course he does. His hands on your waist only hold you in place to give him the opportunity to fuck up into you with more force and the wet sounds that come from between your bodies are filthy… but only serves to turn you on even more. 

“You were saying about me being an asshole?” he asks. His voice is breathy and low and you fucking hate how much you love it. 

“If all you wanted was to fuck me this bad you didn’t have to act like such a dick,” you say through tight lips. Okay. You’re trying not to moan, to give him that satisfaction. Who could blame you? “You only made me hate you more.” 

“Fuck,” he says, throwing his head back. “It wasn’t on purpose… didn’t like you at first but all of a sudden it turned to lust and… can’t you feel what you do to me?” He punctuates his point with a harsh thrust and fuck, you vaguely remember him mentioning he was a dancer. Perfect body, perfect hips and thighs made just to fuck you like this. 

“How you treated me wasn’t fair,” you tell him. You need him to know and you’re lowering your hips, trapping your legs under his so he can’t bounce you up and down on his cock anymore. Your hand snakes up to his throat and takes purchase there, watching the way he gulps and his eyes turn heavy at the action. You feel a burning satisfaction at the way his hips buck into you involuntarily when you squeeze slightly. “Say it,” you coo. “I want to hear you admit to me that you know you treated me poorly.” 

You expect a fight from him because, let’s be honest, Minho always puts up a fight with you. But any ounce of opposition leaves his body the second his eyes meet yours. He looks regretful. He looks small. “I treated you poorly,” he tells you. His eyes never leave yours. “I acted like a child because I had feelings for you that were misplaced. I liked you from the beginning and I… fuck, I didn’t know how to deal with that and I pushed you away. I wanted you to hate me.” 

The confession that spills past his lips is the last thing you’re expecting him to say. Your grip on his neck falters and he uses his stupidly impressive core strength to sit up, bringing your lips into a kiss. It isn’t explosive, it isn’t word-changing, but it is sweet and apologetic and very Minho. 

He places you on your back and resumes his pace, bringing your legs up to rest on his shoulders. At this angle he reaches deep inside you and the first time you gasp he resumes his brutal, relentless pace. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna knot you, please let me knot this pretty pussy,” he pleads. The first time he said it it was a demand; this time he asks from his soul, baring it to you and giving you ample time and opportunity to reject it. 

“Yes,” you moan. But if he’s going to claim you as his from the inside out, the least you could do is return the favor. And so you scratch Minho, raking your nails down his back until they’re sure to leave a mark. And when you’re both on the precipice you bite down onto his shoulder hard, just inches away from his scent gland. It’s not a mating bite but it is a mark, a claim. You suck hard into the bite just as he finishes, his knot expanding and catching on your entrance. You don’t release your mouth from his skin until he’s done pulsing inside you but to your surprise, he doesn’t stop moving his hips. Despite his knot locking you in place he grinds his hips into yours in small circles, putting pressure right onto your clit with his pubic bone. It’s too much, the stimulation of your clit, his knot, and the thick head of his cock hitting that spot deep inside you causing you to cum around him hard with a cry. 

You feel as if you’ve been electrocuted, little shocks going through your whole body with every wave of your orgasm. You almost wish he was bad in bed, if just to keep your dignity and tell him that he wasn’t all that. But with the gutteral noises he dispelled from your body, lying would just be a farce. 

When you’ve both finally calmed down and his knot finally deflates, you half expect him to kick you out of his room. You’ve built up your walls so high around him that it’s hard to imagine him treating you any other way. You’re anxious for sure, moreso at yourself for allowing yourself to be so hopeful. But Minho rolls over and grabs you, holding you close to his chest. Even when you squirm he doesn’t dare to let you go. 

“I really am sorry,” he tells you. A murmur into your hair. “I don’t want you to move out. I’m sorry for treating you the way I did. My alpha thought… that because we like you that maybe asserting our dominance would make you like us more. I know that’s illogical and just sounds  like an excuse but…” 

“I forgive you,” you tell him. “Well… maybe I don’t forgive you just yet. But I can if you prove to me that you’re done with the macho asshole alpha act. No more being possessive over Jisung. My friend by the way! Still haven’t gotten over that. And no more sabotaging my grades.” You shoot him a glare and he only looks at you sheepishly. Harsh looks turn into soft stares and all of a sudden he’s kissing you again. Your tension has already begun to melt away. You begin to see the charm of the Lee Minho everybody has told you about and you think, maybe… just maybe everything will be okay now. 

“I think we owe Jisung a gift,” Minho whispers into your hair. 

“I think we owe him a hundred gifts,” you wince. 

“He’s not going to believe his fucking mind when he gets back.” You laugh so hard your stomach begins to hurt. You think maybe you like the way Minho looks when he smiles. You think maybe you really like the way cinnamon and ginger smell together. You think maybe you could get used to kissing Minho and that burning, bubbly feeling in your stomach agrees. 

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[jsbluu]

pillow humping | p. jisung

req here ★

➨ pairing: park jisung x fem reader

➨ genre: smut (MDNI)

➨ word count: 939

➨ warnings: pervy jisung, sub(?) jisung, i probably used the word “mess” too many times, reader and jisung are friends and he wants her sooooo bad

jisung knows he shouldn’t be thinking about you like this. not when you were just with him a few hours ago, sitting way too close on his bed, laughing at something he said that wasn’t even funny, stealing bites of snacks that weren’t even yours. not when your perfume still lingers in the air, the sweet scent reminding him of how intoxicatingly sweet you were.

he shifts onto his back and stares at the ceiling in hopes these thoughts will go away, but it’s useless. he can’t stop his body from reacting, his cock already straining against his pants—harder than it was before.

the way your lips parted when you spoke to him, the look in your eyes you’d get when you’d stare at him for a bit too long for it to be platonic, the way your fingers played with the hem of your sweater when you got shy.

his breath shudders as he squeezes his eyes shut as hard as he can, hoping, praying it’ll make it stop, but it doesn’t. he can’t ignore the heat pooling in his abdomen anymore.

he knows it’s wrong and pervy, and if you found out you’d probably be disgusted. but he’s way too fucking horny to think about morals right now as he gently runs his hands down his toned chest, stopping just above his waistband.

he knows he shouldn’t be doing this, but he can’t stop himself as his hand travels under his sweats and wraps around his rock hard cock. he lets out a small moan, bucking his hips up into his hand. he’s barely touched himself but he’s already so sensitive, so close to cumming, and that’s all because of you.

he moves his hand back and forth, using his precum as a way to slide his pump himself faster. he bites his bottom lip as he tries to stifle back a whimper, but he ultimately fails. he can’t stop your name from falling out of his lips, it rolls so smoothly off his tongue like you’re the one giving him this pleasure.

it feels good, but it’s not enough. his grip tightens, his thumb brushing over his tip and he swears under his breath, his brows furrowing and he becomes more hot and bothered by the second. still, it’s not enough. his hand is nothing to what you’d feel like. he can almost imagine it, your pussy clenching around him, your smaller hand wrapped around his dick, teasing him however you’d like.

he exhales frustratedly as he turns onto his side, his chest rising and falling unevenly as he blindly reaches for the small throw pillow on his bed. his fingers gently grasp the fabric, hesitating for a moment before pulling it closer.

he’s way too far gone at this point to feel shame, as he aligns himself with it.

“f-fuck..” he breaths out as he buries his head into the mattress as a way to ground himself. he moves his hips gently against the pillow, rocking himself against it to get any type of friction he can.

and just like that, any restraint is gone.

his fingers grip the pillow tighter as he moves, rolling his hips experimentally. his mind is a mess at this point, thinking back to earlier when you were in his room, on his bed. he sniffs the sheets, moaning out loud when he smells another whiff of your perfume.

“y/n..”

your name falls from his lips again in a breathless whisper before he even realizes he said it. but hearing it out loud makes it worse, makes it real. make his movements more desperate than before.

he ruts into the pillow harder, his precum leaking through his sweatpants making an already sticky situation worse.

he can feel himself approaching his orgasm way faster than he ever has, faster than the other times he’s made himself cum to the thought of you. maybe it’s the fact that he had you so close today, close enough to touch, but not enough to keep. maybe this was his way of filling in the gap of being close to you that he so desperately needs.

the friction is maddening, dragging over his cock just right, but it’s not enough. his body craves more, his pace becoming more frantic and messy as he becomes more desperate.

“y/n.. y/n…..” he chants your name like a mantra as he pictures you underneath him, your nails clawing and creating scratches at his back as he snaps his hips into you at an inconceivable pace. your sweet whimpers and pleads filling his ears and encouraging to go faster.

his voice is shaky and strained as his hips jerk a few more times against the pillow, approaching his orgasm. a loud whimper falls from his lips as he cums, his mouth wide open and his hands gripping the mattress so hard it starts to cramp. his cum leaks through his boxers and onto the pillow and the mattress, his white ropes coating his bedsheets and creating a dirty mess that he’ll for sure have to pay for later.

it takes a second, maybe even longer, to come back to reality. for his breathing to slow, for the haze in his mind to clear just enough to register the cold wet feeling of the fabric sticking against his body.

and then it hits him.

“shit.”

he pushes himself up on shaky arms, breath still uneven and face completely flushed as he looks down. the pillow, his fucking pillow, is completely ruined, and he can’t even begin to process what this means.

what the fuck did he just do?

© jsbluu | please do not copy, reupload, or translate my work.

a/n: omg this was so freaky of me.. this was supposed to be like 400 words max but ummm somebody got a little carried away! if you know me irl don’t read this Please .. also theme change coming soon be warned

[jinnie-ret]

people pleaser

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

genre: fluff, angst

content warnings: toxic friends

word count: 3.6k

summary: in her one kid's room episode, y/n reflects on how it was hard for her not to be so kind and sweet to everyone, because she just wanted them to like her.

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The music at the start of the video played, cutting between different things the members were saying.

"Ah, she's too kind for her own good," Seungmin shook his head with a slightly sad smile.

"She hypes everyone up, she's like a mood maker of the group," Lee Know added on.

"Y/N is very selfless," Jeongin said turning his head to the others as they nodded.

"One Kid's Room, Y/N!" Y/N smiled into the camera, relaxed into the armchair with her comfy purple fleece on.

••••••

Ever since the group's trainee days, Y/N had been a people pleaser. Not that she realised that fact about herself, until it came to the future where she would reflect on herself.

She remembered when she had seen Han around the practice rooms, and it didn't matter what he did, singing, dancing or rapping... he was talented in all areas. He was even charming to her despite his shyness occasionally. She knew for sure he'd debut soon, he was an ace after all. There were also rumours going around that her good friend Chan was creating a group to join the showcase and have a chance at debuting. She wanted to be like him, so she made a lot of effort to greet him and be kind to him.

"Hi Jisung!" she would wave at him as she passed him in the corridors of JYP Entertainment.

Of course, Han being Han, would wave back without really knowing who she was at first, but he felt too awkward to ignore her. When he spoke to his hyung about a pretty girl always saying 'hello' at him, Chan was quick to tell Han about who his friend Y/N was (and also that she was off limits because he was thinking of adding her to the group but he didn't tell Han that last part).

Soon they became more comfortable around each other and Y/N found herself practising singing songs with Han, wishing she could belt notes like he could too.

"Wow, you're so good at hitting those higher notes! I wish I could do that," Y/N turned her head towards Han, from where they were both lying down on the practice room floor, feet pointed outwards to opposite walls but their heads side by side.

"Hey, you've got a great voice too, you know?" Han quickly moved his head to the side to look at her, but decided against it and stared right back up at the ceiling.

"You really think so?" Y/N's voice wavered. She needed reassurance, she knew that herself. There was still a long way to go, but she'd get to a place she wanted with her voice one day.

"I know so. Maybe one day you could be my backup singer?" Han said casually, before belly laughing when Y/N leaned over and turned to him with a pout.

"Hannnn!" she whined.

"Yah, you know I'm joking, just keep practising, you'll do great, yeah?" Han said genuinely, before standing up and hauling her up himself as they left the practice room.

•••

The next to join the group Chan was preparing for was a boy the same age as her, Jeongin. He was cute, Y/N thought, shy as well and maybe even similar to herself in some ways for wanting the approval of others, especially their future leader.

Dropping her bag in the corner of the room, first to arrive, Y/N quickly exited the practise room realising she needed the bathroom. Only to return to see Jeongin sheepishly standing in the entrance, Han looking away and Chan stood in the middle of the room with his arms folded.

"Jeongin you should have been here ten minutes ago," the Australian guy frowned running a hand through his hair. Ten minutes? Wow, Chan could be scary sometimes, and Y/N didn't regret joining the group lineup so far, but he was pretty strict.

"I-i was just..." Jeongin tried speaking up but clearly didn't have the words to explain why, practice bag in between his legs and hands clasped nervously behind his back.

"Oh that's my fault, Chan," Y/N decided to lie for him and came forward and stood next to Jeongin, resting her hand on his shoulder as they stood at the same height, "I was showing Jeongin this video at the dorms and I insisted he watch it before we leave..." she even looked off to the side awkwardly, and that part was genuine because the moment Chan let out a huff through his nose, she felt intimidated.

"Guys.... ugh, just, get ready for practice, yeah?" Chan sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose as the two youngest rushes to one side of the room.

"Why did you do that?" Jeongin whispered, pulling out his bottle of water.

"Because I want to know why you were really late," Y/N joked and nudges his shoulder, making him laugh.

"Guys, stop messing around!" Chan rolled his eyes. Y/N wasn't so sly, he saw her bag that had already been there, and knew she hadn't arrived at the same time as Jeongin, but he allowed the excuse nonetheless.

•••

Walking back into the dorms after a busy shift at work, with school the next day, hearing a loud argument was not ideal at all for Y/N. And of course, it had to be between Han and Hyunjin. The taller boy had recently been recruited by Chan after his exceptional dance skills and potential. Perhaps Han was jealous? Y/N didn't really know, all she wanted was her bed right now but she hated the confrontation she heard.

"You can't just leave your things around everywhere! You're so messy!" Hyunjin yelled at Han.

Y/N peeked her head round the hallway after taking off her coat and shoes to see them yelling at each other in the lounge. Chan and Jeongin were nowhere to be seen - they must be out somewhere.

"I was here first! You think I care about your complaints? Get over yourself!" Han shouted, fists clenched at his sides.

"Oh so it's not ok for me to complain, but you get to act like a spoilt brat and like you're better than everyone else?!" Hyunjin yelled once more.

"Guys, what are you doing?" Y/N yawned, staring at the shouting boys who immediately flipped round to their dongsaeng.

"Oh, hey Y/N," Hyunjin's eyes softened, and so did his tone as he saw her standing there tiredly.

"What are you doing up so late?" Han questioned, glancing across at her.

"She works, remember? Gosh, you don't care about anyone but yourself and-" Hyunjin shouted before Y/N quietly cut him off with her calming demeanour.

"Stop. Just stop. You ask me why I'm up late but you two are up awake and arguing... If we're gonna be a team we can't go on like this. And that's not fair to Chan," Y/N shook her head sighing. She couldn't even look at the boys, but from the resounding silence there was she hoped her words had gotten through to them.

"I guess you're right," Hyunjin nodded, shifting awkwardly on one leg.

They all looked at Y/N as if seeing her in a whole new way, she seemed more mature than ever in that moment.

"We all have early starts tomorrow, don't we?" Y/N checked with them, chewing on her lip.

"You're right we do," Han sighed and nodded.

"Right, let's sleep then," Y/N nodded and rushed off to her room, not wanting to be in that situation again. She liked offering her advice, yes, but being the voice of reason? That felt like another level of having responsibility.

"Let's not fight again," Hyunjin whispered, tired himself, physically and emotionally.

All Han could do was roll his eyes and nod as they retreated to their rooms.

It may not have been the last time they fought, but they both put in more effort to control their emotions.

•••

3RACHA was completed. Changbin joined Han and Chan in making music and releasing in onto SoundCloud together, and despite his darker aura, the boy was one of the most caring guys she had ever met.

He would check up on her often, noticing her floating away into her own little world. It happened again one day, when Y/N was sat in the studio with the three guys, until Chan and Han went to collect lunch.

"You good, Y/Nnie?" Changbin asked, breaking the comfortable silence that was in the room.

"Hmm, yeah, why?" Y/N wiped sleep out of her eyes as she saw him staring back at her.

"It's ok, you know, to be upset, or tired," Changbin gently spoke, sensing from the start that she was a sensitive, soft soul.

"I'm not upset... I just need to improve, that's all..." Y/N sighed, curling up into a tighter ball on the sofa, tugging a blanket over her legs.

"I saw your face after the staff spoke to you," Changbin informed her, helping to straighten out the blanket.

"They just said that I shouldn't expect to be a part of the group if I'm dancing and singing the way I do and that even a rat would have done a better job," Y/N shrugged, not able to look at Changbin.

"They what? They can't say rude shit like that to you!" Changbin stood up, arms folded.

"I-it was just constructive criticism," Y/N jumped slightly, not expecting the strong reaction from her fellow group member.

"No, they were rude to you, there's a difference between constructive criticism and being rude. How is what they said helpful in any way?!" Changbin growled, shaking his head with a clenched jaw.

"I just caught them in a bad mood-" Y/N shared the thought that was playing over and over again in her head, eyes shining as she looked up at Changbin.

"No, you didn't, ok? It's alright," Changbin side hugged her to him, joining her back on the sofa, "it's ok to feel sad from what they said, I just want you to talk to me about it, I'm here. Now, come on, Chan and Han will be back with food soon."

•••

Next to join the group was a charming freckled boy, also from Australia. He had quickly grown close with Chan from their shared nationality, but Y/N craved to be close with him too. She wanted him to like her, after all, she got on well with her other members, so she found herself worrying when she hadn't really had a chance to bond with him yet.

He was a cute and loveable guy, and with the language barrier, Felix not really knowing a lot of Korean yet, Y/N felt disheartened when her words would be met with a blank look from him. She just hadn't connected the dots yet, not realising it was because her quick ramblings in Korean were an overwhelming whirlwind of incomprehensible words.

"Hi Felix! I'm so glad you joined the group, you've got such a cool voice I think it will really make us stand out!" Y/N gushed to Felix after they all did a vocal practice together.

"Thank you," Felix awkwardly answered before looking away at the ground, smiling bigger only when Chan stood next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

That was when Y/N decided she needed to find a better way to communicate with Felix, so she started writing notes, using an online translator to write an English translation below her Korean words, to tell him words of encouragement and show him she was there as a friend.

•••

"Thanks Y/N! See you soon, maybe," Y/N's trainee friends giggled as they left the lobby of JYP, Y/N waving goodbye to them as she zipped her purse back up.

"What was that about?" Seungmin spoke up, leant against the wall opposite her.

"Oh, umm, my friends asked if they could borrow some of my money to get some snacks," Y/N grinned, feeling happy she was able to help her friends.

"You didn't have to do that... give them your money so easily," Seungmin shook his head, walking over and standing closer to her now.

Seungmin was recognised for his polite nature and gorgeous voice, hence his joining of the group.

"It's ok, really, they needed it and plus they said they'd pay me back," Y/N defended her friends, lips pursing when she saw Seungmin frown.

"Whenever I see those friends of yours they ask for money," Seungmin was trying really hard for Y/N to see sense.

"It's fine I have a part time job for a reason," Y/N smiled, trying to brush away Seungmin's concerned but it only made it worse.

"Yeah, not to fund their snacks," his eyes only widened in response.

"They need it," Y/N's voice became higher pitched, as she was desperate for Seungmin to believe her and just leave alone the subject. She didn't want to be in any sort of argument with him but he also didn't want him to be thinking badly of her friends.

"So do you, please be careful around them," Seungmin sighed and patted her shoulder, seeing she wanted to leave the subject alone, as they both left the company.

Later that night at the dorms, Y/N and Seungmin were relaxing on the sofa, with the other members too, as they scrolled through their phones. Looking at her social media, Y/N tapped on her friend's story, only to see they were all hanging out without her, and seemed to be eating at a slightly more expensive fast food restaurant. But they didn't even have enough money for a snack earlier?!

It seemed Y/N had spoke this last thought out loud. Seungmin peered over her shoulder and frowned, recognising the people in the photos as his younger member's friends.

Stopping himself from telling her 'I told you so', Seungmin offered his comfort.

"You've got us, yeah? Don't worry about them anymore," Seungmin swiped off of the story and took her phone out of her hands.

"I don't know what i did wrong..." Y/N bit her lip, wondering how she always went wrong with her friends.

"You did nothing wrong, they took advantage of your kindness, Y/N, now let me order some fried chicken for us, yeah?"

•••

The final member Chan added to the lineup was a guy called Minho, who, very impressively, had completed the basic JYP dance moves in 2 weeks. Y/N was in awe of him.

"I can't believe you completed the moves already! I bet Chan will make you dance leader when we all get to debut together!" Y/N smiled at Lee Know, singing his praises.

"Aha, thank you," Lee Know awkwardly bowed at her, not really saying much after. Y/N just wanted to compliment him and show her appreciation, but seeing his short responses made her feel awkward too, and soon they'd be left in silence.

Y/N found herself sat there thinking, she spent so long trying to get everyone to like her, but maybe what she said, what she did, wasn't good enough?

"Is this too much for you?" Chan sat down next to Y/N, who had isolated herself to sit in the corner of the practice room.

"No it's fine," Y/N waved her hand away, running a hand through her hair.

"Tell me the truth," Chan insisted, shifting his body to look at her, feeling concerned.

"I am, I'm fine," Y/N bluntly said, not wanting to talk about how she truly was feeling, and the thoughts she was having.

"Don't lie to me, I need to know you can do this, I don't want you stressing out, we've got the showcase ahead of us, Y/N," Chan urged her to tell the truth, resting a hand on her knee, patting it gently.

"Look, ok, it is a lot to deal with but I can do it, I promise you. I just, I'm trying to figure everything in my head," Y/N leant her head back against the wall, closing her eyes.

"Thank you for telling me the truth, and, Y/N, that's why we're here, we don't want you feeling like you're on your own when you do so much for all of us, ok?" Chan side hugged her, warmth in his eyes, and some relief there when he finally broke through to her.

"I am? I mean, I do a lot for you guys?" Y/N's voice pleaded for the truth, looking at Chan with hope in her eyes.

"You always do," he smiled and ruffled her hair.

••••••

Back to One Kids Room, Y/N smiled as she thought about how she had come as a person.

"As much as I still look up to my members, my self-esteem has grown so much and I've learnt to value myself. I love them so much, but I need to give myself energy and time too," Y/N smiled at the camera, hands squeezing the long arms of her sleeves and balling them up.

"She's so much more confident now, I remember she used to ask me if this was fine or that but now she's more confident," Changbin commented, the other guys nodding in agreement.

"She used to come to me being like, woahhhhh you're such a good dancer!" Lee Know chucked, thinking of the younger version of Y/N, who would always praise her members.

"Ah yes she'd speak exactly like that! Wow... And she'd look at me like, with these wide eyes being like, I wanna rap like you!" Han laughed as he perfectly imitated how Y/N spoke to him.

"She used to have this really sweet habit, when I didn't know Korean very well, umm, she'd leave these little notes for me, and write the Korean and English translation for me just so I knew what she was saying. There'd always be these words of encouragement, it just made my heart feel warm," Felix told the members, who all 'ooh'ed in response, shocked at this fact because they didn't know that Y/N used to do that.

"Ah, yes, I did used to leave notes for Felix... I wanted to be his friend so badly! He just seemed so cool but whenever I spoke to him he just sort of awkwardly smiled and nodded. I thought he didn't like me, turns out he had no idea what I was saying, so I left notes for him instead... yeah," Y/N felt shy when she admitted this, covering her face.

"I remember back in trainee days, I was late for practice because I overslept. And then when I arrived I thought Channie hyung is really going to scold me but Y/N suddenly appeared, I think she came back from the bathroom or something but she said it was her fault that we were both late, and I thought phew, hyung won't be angry at me now, haha," Jeongin told his own story, remembering Y/N covering for him, and that wasn't the only time she had done that.

"I remember that! I knew she was covering up for you!" Chan gasped, pointing an accusing finger at Jeongin who laughed in response.

"She's so sweet and kind, whenever any of us would argue she'd try and stop it from happening," Hyunjin shook his head in wonder at how selfless Y/N was.

"Oh yeah! She'd try and get us to see from each perspective, even though I felt like I was right I thought wow I can't argue because now Y/N would be sad too if we carried on," Han covered his mouth slightly as he laughed, patting Hyunjin on the shoulder knowing that the argument he was referring to was definitely between the two of them.

"Right! Right! She's really good at seeing other people's feelings, but she used to struggle when it came to herself... She'd look so confused if I said to her that she was acting sad, she looked like a lost puppy..." Changbin said in a more serious tone.

"Oh when she had those puppy eyes! Yeah!" Chan nodded along enthusiastically, knowing the look all too well.

"It made my heart ache, she didn't understand, she's much better now though, I'll get a knock at my door and we'll talk for hours," Changbin confessed, feeling happy he was needed in helping his member feel better.

"Ah yes I talk to Binnie a lot about my feelings these days... I still find it confusing to understand how I feel but it makes a bit more sense when I talk with him, yeah..." Y/N began, still a bit shy in admitting when she needed help but better than she would have been before, "I don't think I look like a puppy? Seungmin is more like a puppy, haha."

"Remember Y/N used to have that part time job?" Seungmin asked the rest of the guys.

"Really?" Felix was shocked, not realising everything Y/N had to balance.

"Yeah she used to work at a cafe whilst training and school, I really admired that," Hyunjin grinned, proud of the younger girl.

"But she'd still have to ask us for money," Chan laughed.

"She'd spend it on her old friends! She wanted to make sure they were ok and then suddenly she wouldn't have any money left!" Seungmin said in disbelief, his voice cutely rising up and down in pitch showing how he was feeling.

"Oh, that makes sense I remember one time we got some boba, and she asked me like oppa, can you get me that please? And I asked her where her money went and she said she spent it on a present for Innie... I think it was near his birthday at the time," Lee Know commented, leaning back against the sofa.

"Woahh, my heart," Hyunjin gasped, placing a hand over his chest, "that's so cute!"

"Ah I love giving gifts! I feel like if I can find someone the perfect gift and they are happy then I'm really happy too," Y/N explained after a staff member asked her the question.

"I think I'm definitely different from debut days... If I could say anything about myself now... It would be... You have grown. Y/N has changed, but in a good way!"

"One Kid's Room, Y/N, finished!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

hii love! i just read your clingy so u distance yourself fic for the bazillion time and i cried again no surprise🥹 I just wanted to say i love your works so much and would live to request for an angst oneshot with brother bsf chan? basically reader has been pining for chan for a few years but she never got the courage to tell chan cause she thinks she isn’t good enough for chan. Then afterwards basically chan got a girlfriend who hated her and basically influenced chan to stop hanging out with her which he listened to and told the reader which the reader told him that his girlfriend wasn’t loyal but he thought she was sabotaging his relationship and so they ended off on bad terms but turns out a few weeks later he caught his girlfriend cheating and went back to the reader? sorry if it is kinda long but i rlly need a oneshot like this to read when i just need some angst i really live and admire your works so id be elated if you did my request. thank you and lots of love❤️

my first piece since I went on a mini little baby hiatus. and i had a lot of joy writing this. so i hope you enjoy <3!!!

Brothers Bsf Chan x Fem!Reader (angst/fluff)

6.8k words

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You didn’t know when it started. Was it a simple touch? A brush of a hand or an accidental graze of fingers? Or was it one of those lazy Friday nights where Chan would crack jokes to you and his best friend- your older brother Jisung- while you three were watching movies in the house you grew up in. Or did it stem back all the way to those days where you would chase after Chan and Jisung on the playground, down your neighborhood streets- crying out for them to wait for you. Those cries stopped when Chan would reach his hand out to bring you along.

Maybe it was a combination of all of those things, those things you had tried so hard to forget because it could only lead to heartbreak. Falling in love with your brother’s best friend was no easy feat for anyone. Let alone when you were falling for someone like Chan, who was so hard to fall out of love with. Maybe even more so for you since he would always be in your life. Him and Jisung were nearly joined at the hip, which made it even harder to hide your pining for him. You wouldn’t dare love out loud, but it was starting to whisper through the cracks of your resolve.

You were unconditionally in love with everything about Chan. 

That's how it was for years, and how you intended it to be for as long as allowed. You spent countless nights staring at your ceiling, wondering if he could ever see you the way that you saw him. You were sure things were only platonic between the two of you, but you couldn’t help but linger on the memories of certain looks, certain gestures that you couldn’t delude yourself into believing happened between friends. 

Things started to change when Chan began dating someone new. 

Duri. Her name was Duri, and the first time you met her, you knew she was the type to turn heads. She had a smile that could light up a room and a confidence you could only dream of. Standing next to her, you felt small, like a background character in Chan’s life story. A girl who captured Chan’s attention so easily. A girl who wrapped him up in her life so easily that you knew you were to be forgotten. He was smitten and her words flowed like the river of the smoothest molasses. She could easily convince Chan, he didn’t need you. Because she didn’t like you.

You weren’t sure why, but it was obvious. And because she didn’t like you, her feelings towards Jisung weren’t all that different, it seemed. And slowly you felt like Chan was making his way out of your life.

“Ji, why isn’t Chris here?” You loved the way his name sounded when you said it. Not many people around you called him Chris, so it felt special to call him that. He seemed to enjoy it as well, not ever asking you to conform to societal norms.

“He’s probably just busy, Y/N-ie…I’m sure he’ll come back around.” Jisung said one day as you guys sat on the couch, scrolling through movies. It was the first Friday movie Chan had missed. And even if it was the first time he had missed it, you knew it would be a regular occurrence.

In all honesty, at first, you tried to like Duri. She was with Chan, after all, and you thought that maybe you could be friends. That maybe if you could convince yourself to like her then the pain of not being the one that Chan loved would ease.. But the more you saw her, the more you felt her sharp, indirect glances, the way she dismissed you with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. She made you feel invisible, as if you were only tolerated because you were Jisung’s sister. Even if she just barely tolerated the latter.

Over time, you saw the changes in Chan too. He became distant, no longer the easygoing guy who’d spend hours with you and your brother. He was still polite, still kind, but he was pulling away, bit by bit. You told yourself it was just a phase, that he’d come around once things settled down with Duri.

But then, one night, things came to a head.

You, Jisung, and Chan had made plans to meet at your favorite café—just a casual hangout, like old times. But when Chan showed up with his girlfriend by his side, something was off. His smile was forced, his laughs hollow. He barely met your eyes, and when you spoke, and even then  it was like he wasn’t really listening. To the point that Jisung even pointed it out. Every time you spoke, Duri happened to speak at the same time. Every time a question was directed at you, Duri somehow changed the conversation. You felt small and insignificant and made your way home early. You couldn’t stand to sit there and see the man you were so down bad for with his significant other. Duri had sat close to him, her hand always somewhere on his arm or shoulder, marking her territory in the subtlest way, in a way that caused an anger that wasn’t so subtle. 

But even then after leaving you couldn’t shake the ache in your chest. You sat down on a bench outside of a convenience store by your home, trying to sort out your feelings. 

You okay? I’ll be heading home soon. We went out to drink. 

You quickly type out a reply to Jisung, your fingers shaking as you realized just how cold it was. Just as you were about to get up to leave a pale hand reached out to you with a warm drink. 

You looked up to see a guy with dark and prominent eyebrows, and a little birthmark on his nose. 

“You seemed cold. Its…” He looked at the can. “Mocha flavored.” He handed it back out to you and smiled softly. 

“Thank you.” You said with a small bow of your head, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thoughtful gesture. 

“You live in the neighborhood right? Your brother…looks like a squirrel?” The man’s voice was soft and shy, like he thought he was talking too much.

“Oh! You’re our new neighbor? I’m Han Y/N.” You said with a flourished bow.

“Park Sunghoon. Nice to meet you…” He shuffled awkwardly. “Would you like me to wait before I walk home…I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“No! No! It’s fine, I'm not uncomfortable. You can walk home with me.” You say quietly. “Maybe it’ll be nice to not feel lonely.”

As you made your way back home with Sunghoon you had a weird feeling in your chest. You thought maybe you were just trying to sort your feelings, but it was more of an intuitive sense. 

Then you got a text from your brother.

I’m coming home. Duri tried to make a move on me and I’m not trying to get into it with Chan while she is here.

You blinked at the text, nodding when your voice registered Sunghoon asking if you were okay.

That was that odd feeling…

You didn’t know if it was selfish to feel happy that Duri was a tool, but you did. You didn’t want Chan to get hurt so you decided to go talk to him. Giving a message on behalf of Jisung, who thought maybe Chan would listen better if it was coming from a girl

“Hey, can I talk to you?” you asked, your voice soft but determined, as you walked up to him outside of his job a few days later.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied, looking a bit surprised. He followed you to a quieter part of the park, away from prying eyes. “Is everything okay? Jisung hasn’t texted me in a couple of days…"

You took a breath, feeling the words tangle on the tip of your tongue. “Chris…I just…I feel like you’re not around as much anymore. I get that you’re with Duri, but…it’s like you’re pulling away from me and Jisung. My brother is too scared to say anything, but he feels just as bad, if not worse than I do.”

He frowned, looking down at the ground. “I’m sorry if it feels that way,” he said finally, but not much emotion in his voice. “But…I need to be there for Duri. She’s… she doesn’t feel comfortable with me hanging out so much with, you know…” He trailed off, not meeting your eyes.

Your heart sank, a cold dread washing over you. “With me, you mean?”

He hesitated, but the silence was all the confirmation you needed. “She…doesn’t get why I’m so close with you. And I don’t want her to feel insecure, so I…I think it’s best if we… keep some distance. Just for now.”

You stared at him, feeling a surge of hurt and anger. “Chris, she’s manipulating you!” you said, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “She’s making you feel guilty for caring about people who were here long before she was. Because she knows those people will pinpoint, that she’s a manipulative cheater!”

He looked at you, a flash of anger in his eyes at the words. “You don’t know her like I do,” he snapped.

You flinched at the venom in his voice. He had never snapped at you and you could feel tears spring to your eyes.

“She tried to make a move on Ji…” You said quietly. “And don’t try and say my brother is a liar, Chris,  because you know he’s not.”

Chan gave a sarcastic chuckle. “She already told me that Y/N. She was drunk. It was nothing more than that.”

“Drunk actions are sober thought Chris!” You shot back.

“Oh, so the first time you ever got drunk and confessed your feelings for me was a sober thought?”

You felt your body freeze and you blinked at Chan with wide eyes. You blacked out the first time you had ever drank and didn’t touch anything since. You never knew you had admitted to liking Chan.

“So it’s true then? You actually love me?” Chan let out a large sigh. “Frankly, it’s not fair for you to accuse her of things that aren’t true just because you put me on a pedestal. Your feelings for me aren’t my responsibility Y/N. This…this just feels like you’re trying to come between us because of some childish jealousy. She’s my girlfriend, and I trust her more than I trust someone who hasn’t been honest to me for years.”

You felt like you’d been slapped. The words cut deeper than anything you’d expected, leaving you struggling for air. “That’s not…that’s not what I’m doing, Chan. I just…I don’t want to see you get hurt.” You tried to say back. “My feelings have nothing to do with this I’m coming to you as a friend-”

“Friends don’t feel that way about each other Y/N! Once you cross that line friendship can’t be used as a label. Do you ever think that Duri might be acting this way because you absolutely suck at hiding your feelings?!” His voice was sharper than ever and you could feel a sad squeeze in your heart. “So deal with the fact that I’m going to put my girlfriend first- regardless of what I feel for you.” There was the slightest hesitation and falter in his face at his last words, but you were too upset to decipher what exactly that meant. “ I’m done with this conversation. I’ll see you later, Y/N.” He said in a soft yet defeated voice, leaving you standing there, heartbroken and speechless.

The next few weeks were met with silence.  Jisung asked what had happened, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. You kept your pain buried, letting it fester in the corners of your mind. Chan had felt terrible for yelling at you, and had come over to apologize with extra snacks for your guys Friday night movie, but to his surprise, it was only Jisung who was there. 

“Where is Y/N?” Chan asked, setting down your favorite candy and chips on the reclining chair you always claimed. He looked around the corner to see if you were in your room. Your door was open and he walked in, looking at the little polaroids littered across your room on various walls and flat surfaces. He looked at your books and plushies with a soft smile. 

“She’s working overtime tonight. Do you want to watch a Marvel or DC movie?” Jisung called from the living room. Chan’s brow furrowed. He knew the company you worked for closed early on Fridays, all employees getting off early. Something he had realized after observing you for so long. 

“Marvel…” Chan called out, closing the door behind himself.

As suspected you weren’t working overtime. 

Rather as time passed, you found comfort in unexpected places. One of those places was the attractive man that one night, your neighbor Sunghoon. Who, much to your surprise, shared your interests and understood your silence without question. He became your confidant, your quiet escape from the heartache Chan had left behind.

“He’s probably over at my house right now with Jisung.” You had mumbled as you cuddled up on his side. Also, much to your surprise, Sunghoon was a great cuddle buddy. What was even better is that he wanted nothing in return, nor were there any ill intentions letting you grow close to him in an emotional and physical way. He had confided in you that a deeper intimacy was something he couldn’t ever see himself liking, which was why he was set on settling down alone, and that he wasn’t much of a physical person to begin with, but with you he found himself not minding the soft physicality much at all. 

“Like we’re twin flames right.” You had joked, that day, holding out your pinky. He had nodded, locking pinkies with yours. 

“You’re right, but I am more than sure he won’t think to come over her-”

The doorbell rang and you sprung up from your position on the couch as Sunghoon made his way to the door. 

“Well speak of the devil…” He mumbled. 

Chan stood at the doorway of Jisung’s new neighbor, delivery food in his hand. He looked at the bag and considered the weight of the bag.

Maybe a couple having date night?

“Hello?” A tall and undeniably attractive man stood at the door. 

Damn…wow uh-

“Oh, hey! I think your delivery was sent to my friend’s house. I just wanted to make sure you knew it was here...” The man looked at Chan with a blank look. 

Are kids these days given supplements or something…why is he so majestic looking…

“Oh, thank you.” He said , bowing and grabbing the food.

Before the door was shut, Chan could’ve sworn he noticed a pair of familiar shoes, but disregarded it, making his way back to Jisung’s.

As more time passed, you found yourself missing Chan rather than getting over him. 

“Is it strange, Sungie?” you asked while you were building a puzzle with him one evening- another Friday. “That I’m absolutely pissed, and heartbroken, but I want nothing more than to see him? And I can’t think of anything other than I miss him?”

Sunghoon thought for a moment and then spoke softly. “No, it’s not strange at all. Rather, it’d be strange if you didn’t. Sometimes, love clings to us hardest when we’re hurting the most. It's like every part of you is aching for the one person who can make it better—even if they’re the one who hurt you. Missing him doesn’t make you weak; it just means he’s still a part of your heart. Sometimes, loving someone means feeling everything all at once—the anger, the heartbreak, and that unstoppable longing. It’s okay to feel it all."

You were at your house, and Sunghoon was over since he had become a regular visitor, after Jisung befriended him and then finally pieced together where you were going every Friday and other odd days of the week when you first heard the news. At first he had assumed you and Sunghoon were a thing until you both quickly shot down that notion by informing Jisung that relationships and love were not Sunghoon’s cup of tea.

But since he now knew that wasn’t the case, and had long since known the truth since your first and last drunk outing he thought you might want to know.

“They broke up. Strange enough, Chan didn’t seem all that upset—I mean, he did seem upset, but you think you’d be more upset when you break up, you know?” Jisung rambled, barely pausing for breath. “Instead, he was, like, really calm, which made no sense to me. I feel like I’d be freaking out, or, like, super sad, or anxious, or angry. How can you just be indifferent to a breakup with someone you thought was going to be the love of your life? It’s like those characters in anime—”

You tuned out Jisung’s voice, the news sinking in like stones in your stomach as you laid your head against Sunghoon’s side as he read the ingredients on an air freshener bottle while he waited for Jisung to finish warming up food. 

Chan and Duri had broken up. Your heart was a tangled mess of relief and pain, of memories you hadn’t let yourself fully process. After all those months, he was free—but what did it mean now? What did any of it mean when he’d already chosen her once?

As Jisung continued his rapid-fire monologue, you watched to the two people who had been a distraction these past few weeks: him and Sunghoon. Sunghoon, in a more practical way since he knew the depths of your doubts and worries, and easily fit into the spot of your platonic soulmate and best friend. It seemed he was more versed on the Chan-sized hole in your heart than even you were, and you were glad you now had him to walk these roads with you.

Eventually Jisung came back to the living room with dinner, and you were soon enough immersed into the activities of the evening. 

You were unaware what was about to go down when the knock at the door came, Jisung springing up to answer it, his laughter echoing down the hall as he let someone in. The air around you shifted, growing thicker, familiar, and before you even turned around, you knew who was standing there. 

You had known him long enough to sense when the man you loved was in the room. His presence filled it quickly enough, his gaze sweeping over the space, lingering a little too long on you and Sunghoon, who seemed to be molded together perfectly, Sunghoon’s arm lazily resting on your leg.

Jisung shot you an awkward glance before mumbling something about getting snacks from the store. He and Sunghoon exchanged a glance, and, with a silent nod Sunghoon got up, and they left, closing the door behind them. You were left alone with Chan in the thick silence that followed, the quiet pressing down around you.

Chan’s expression was tense, guarded, and yet, behind his eyes, you saw a trace of vulnerability. He took a hesitant step toward you, his voice soft. “Y/N…”

You met his gaze, pain simmering just beneath the surface. “What are you doing here?”

He took a deep breath, guilt etched into the lines of his face. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice cracking slightly. “I should have listened to you. I didn’t… I couldn’t see it. I was so focused on Duri that I didn’t see what was right in front of me. She wasn’t loyal. I caught her cheating, and I realized just how wrong I was and how right you and Jisung were.”

His words landed between you, each one a mix of relief and ache that clawed at your heart. But you couldn’t ignore the questions tumbling through your mind—the doubts that held you back from even entertaining the hope you’d once felt. You folded your arms, steadying yourself as you looked away.

“Chan, I don’t even know what to say to you. It’s not just about her or your breakup,” you said, voice low.

The older boy flinched at your words. 

“Chan…” He mumbled. You had rarely ever spoken his name aloud like that before. So rarely he couldn’t even remember the last time you did, and he didn’t even recognize your voice when you said it. “I messed up horribly…didn’t I?”

 “You didn’t just choose her.” You started. “You looked me in the eyes and didn’t believe me. You accused me of saying things because of personal feelings. Then went on to accuse me of lying to you because I never confessed my feelings- even though apparently I did and you just omitted the truth of what I said when I blacked out as if that's not also a form of dishonesty. You thought I was trying to ruin your happiness, like I’d sabotage your relationship out of jealousy. Are you serious, Chan?”

He winced again, his hand reaching toward you as if he wanted to touch you but was too afraid. “I know, Y/N, and I hate that I did that to you. I was wrong. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I just… I needed you to know that I truly am am sorry. I didn’t think I had hurt you that badly and it was foolish.”

The hurt that had sat quietly in your heart surged to the surface, and before you could stop yourself, you murmured, “So what? You’re here now because you need a rebound? You want someone to feel close to because she’s gone?”

Chan’s face fell, confusion and hurt flickering across his features. “What? No, Y/N, it’s not like that at all. You’re not some replacement or… or backup. You’ve never been that to me, ever.”

“Then what am I, Chan?” You shook your head, frustration and sorrow mingling together. “Because if I was the first one you come to- not even your best friend-” You said referring to your brother. “Than there has to be reason behind that. Let me guess, you feel something for me?” 

Chan swallowed and you knew his answer when you saw the look in his brown eyes. You let out and exasperated sigh and tried to hold back your tears, but couldn’t so you looked at the ground instead.

“If you really felt this way—if you really cared about me or dare I even say loved me…then why did you pick her? Why now, after you’ve been with her all this time? Am I supposed to believe that just because she’s out of the picture, you’ve suddenly realized what you want?” Your voice was sad and defeated and you let your tears fall. “If so that's really really mean.” You whined sadly.

His eyes widened, and he shook his head emphatically. “No, it’s not because of that. Y/N, I was so stupid. I’ve spent these past few weeks… I didn’t even realize how much I missed you until I lost you. I can’t just go back to how things were, but I know I want you in my life. I don’t want to lose you.”

He paused until you looked up at him, his heart shattering even more at the glossiness behind your sad eyes. “It’s not that Y/N-ie not at all. Sometimes you really just don’t know what you’ve had until you lost it.

But something about his gaze shifted as he glanced back toward the door where Jisung and Sunghoon had left. His mouth pressed into a thin line, his brows drawn together in a dark, unreadable expression. “Guess I’ve already been replaced though, huh?” He said quietly.

You felt your stomach twist at his words, your tears drying almost immediately with the thought of where this was heading. “Replaced? What are you even talking about?”

“Your neighbor,” he said bitterly, albeit soft; the label sharp on his tongue. “You and him. I came here to tell you how much I’ve messed things up, only to see you with him. I guess it didn’t take long for you to move on.”

The accusation in his voice stung, leaving you feeling exposed. You bit back the urge to yell, to let out the anger that had simmered for so long. You knew it brought some validity to his earlier statement, him being jealous of Sunghoon, but God did you sometimes want to smack sense into him.

 “You don’t get to come in here and make assumptions about me, Chan. Sunghoon is my friend. He’s been here because you weren’t. Because you pushed me away. I didn’t have a choice.”

“But you looked happy cuddled with him,” he said, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. “It didn’t seem like you missed me at all.”

You swallowed hard, feeling the tightness in your chest intensify. “Of course, I missed you. But you don’t get to accuse me of moving on. I waited. I wanted… I thought maybe one day you’d see me. But you chose her. You chose someone who didn’t even care about you, and I was the one left behind. So of course I needed comfort.”

He took a shaky breath, eyes softening as he stepped closer. “I chose wrong. I see that now, Y/N. I know I hurt you, and I don’t expect you to just forget that. But I can’t pretend now that I don’t feel something for you.”

You stared at him, searching his face for any hint of sincerity, but doubt gnawed at you. “We just went over this. How am I supposed to know it’s real? How am I supposed to believe that you actually want me, and not just because it’s convenient? If you loved me before than why not say something.”

“Why didn’t you say something!”

“Because unlike you I don’t go around dating people while I have a crush on someone Chan! If it was ‘oh so obvious’ than you should have said something. Or I don’t know, maybe when I blacked out and confessed you could have done something then-”

“I was petrified!” Chan shouted, causing you to take a step back. “How…how am I supposed to respond when my best friend’s little sister tells me she’s been in love with me since we were kids. And that’s its only growing?” He swallowed. “Am I supposed to take that risk and tell her its mutual, but that I don’t want to do anything in case things get messy? Because I don’t want to ruin things? Relationships are complicated Y/N! People fight and argue but romantic ones are so much heartier. Those arguments and fights hold more weight than friendships. I wasn’t…happy…only being your friend but I was content. Even if it meant I wouldn’t get to hold you or kiss you, or see your face in my children’s faces I was okay with that as long as it meant there was no risk in ruining things between us. And that saved me from the risk of getting on uneasy territory with Jisung. So I left it alone. I didn’t tell you. I asked Jisung to forget about it even if that meant he was upset at me for quote ‘rejecting my wonderful and perfect  little sister’ unquote.”

You stood there, lips trembling, not knowing what to say as he lay his heart in front of you.

He reached out, brushing a thumb over your cheek in a tender, hesitant motion. “But now that I know what it’s like to live without you, Y/N,  I can’t go back to that. I can’t. I don’t want anyone else. I just want a chance to make this right.”

The vulnerability in his eyes was almost too much, the raw honesty in his touch searing against your skin. But your heart still trembled with uncertainty, with a fear that ran deep.

“I’m petrified now.”

A tear slipped down his cheek as he nodded, a small chuckle leaving his lips, his thumb gently wiping away a tear that had fallen from your own eyes. “I’ll spend every day proving to you how much I love you, Y/N, so you won’t have a reason to be scared. I don’t want to lose you, not again. I was blind, but I see it now. And if you’ll let me, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. To get you to a point where you won’t be able to deny the fact I only want you.”

You held his gaze, your heart wavering between the hope you’d never fully let go of and the fear that he’d break it all over again. And in that quiet moment, with the ache of the past between you, a fragile, cautious feeling began to bloom once more.

You took a steadying breath, bracing yourself as you met Chan’s eyes. “Chan, I don’t know what assumptions you’ve made about Sunghoon, but he’s just my friend. He’s been there because…” You hesitated, the words delicate on your tongue. “Because I needed someone. Not someone to date, or to replace you, but just…someone who understands. He’s helped me pick up the pieces after everything fell apart. And he’s not even interested in relationships like that. We’re just close in a different way.”

Chan blinked, his gaze softening as he listened, brows knitting in a mixture of relief and confusion. “So… you and Sunghoon… you’re really just friends?”

“Yes,” you replied, hoping he could hear the sincerity in your voice. “And he’s not going to change his mind about that. He doesn’t want anything more with anyone. It’s not in him. But he’s been a good friend—my best friend…my soulmate really.” Your voice trailed off quietly. “He’s someone I could talk to when I felt like I’d lost you.”

Chan let out a slow breath, some of the tension leaving his shoulders as he looked away, processing. “I…I feel so stupid. I was so ready to believe you’d moved on, that you’d replaced me. It was like this nightmare I’d imagined every night, that you’d found someone else who actually deserved you. And when I walked in and saw you both…”

His words faltered, and he rubbed a hand over his face, frustration and regret etched deep. “But I know I can’t blame you for being close to him. You had every right to find support after what I put you through. I just…”

“You just didn’t believe me,” you finished for him, the words raw but necessary. “And then you left, and I didn’t know how to fill that space you’d left behind but Sunghoon found a way. But that doesn’t mean he warrants any jealousy from you, Chris. I’m hoping you can learn to love him like you love Jisung. For me?”

He nodded, his eyes filled with regret.A part of you softened at the earnestness in his expression, the vulnerability that showed he understood, at least on some level, of what all of this meant. You sighed, feeling the weight of everything settling over you, but also immensely light.

But Chan seemed like he was struggling for a moment.

“Whats wrong?”

He bit his lip, his gaze darting away for a second before he finally asked, “Was there ever a point when…when you thought you could move on? That maybe you’d fall for someone else?”

The question struck deeper than you’d expected, and for a moment, you just looked at him, letting yourself process the vulnerability etched into his features. Did he truly think he could simply be replaced? That you’d spent years loving him, only to let him go?

“I thought about it,” you admitted, your voice soft but steady. “I thought maybe it would be easier if I could just let go. Even before all of this I thought about it. But no matter how much I tried, it was always you. It’s always been you.”

You felt the familiar sting of tears, and you blinked them away, not wanting him to see just how deeply his words affected you. “For the record, I don’t want to lose you either. But if we’re going to do this, we have to be honest. No more letting other people’s opinions get in the way. No more letting doubts fester between us.”

He nodded, a fierce determination filling his gaze. “No more doubts. I want us to be real, Y/N. Nothing standing in the way, just you and me.”

The weight of his words, the sincerity in his gaze, was almost overwhelming. You felt the warmth of his hand as he reached for yours, his fingers tentative, as if he wasn’t sure you’d accept him.

You took his hand, squeezing it gently, grounding yourself in the quiet assurance of his touch. It wasn’t the grand gesture you’d once dreamed of, but it was real. And somehow, that made it mean even more.

He looked down at your intertwined fingers, his thumb brushing softly over your knuckles. “Thank you for giving me this chance, Y/N. I’ll spend every day showing you that I mean it.”

You offered him a small, tentative smile, one that held a flicker of hope. “And I’ll do my best to believe it. But you have to understand—this is going to take time.”

He nodded, his own smile softening his face. “I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

For a moment, you both stood there, hands entwined, caught in the delicate balance between past hurt and the fragile possibility of something new. The wounds might still be raw, but you could feel them beginning to heal, slowly, with each beat of your hearts in sync.

As you looked into his eyes, you felt something you hadn’t felt in a long time—a cautious, budding belief that maybe, just maybe, this time, things would be different.

A few weeks later, things had settled into a comfortable, tentative new rhythm. The past wasn’t forgotten, but it had softened around the edges, allowing something new to bloom between you and Chan—no, Chris. You’d started calling him that again recently, just between the two of you, and every time he heard it, his eyes lit up, as though it was his own quiet assurance that he had your forgiveness, that he wasn’t just “Chan,” your brother’s best friend, but Chris, the man you were falling for all over again.

You weren’t rushing anything, taking each moment as it came. There were stolen glances, shared laughter, and late-night conversations that stretched until dawn, weaving a new kind of trust between you. He was patient and gentle, letting you set the pace, and every step you took forward felt right. It was healing, a slow rekindling that felt like rediscovering a part of yourself that had been missing.

One Saturday afternoon, you and Chris were sitting on the couch, a movie playing in the background as he leaned closer, his arm resting around your shoulders. Sunghoon and Jisung had left to get snacks- Chris listening to your request and giving Sunghoon a chance, finding out that he genuinely enjoyed the company of your best friend. 

“Its like eternal best friend double dates.” Jisung had joked.

But since your brother and best friend had left, Chan had been looking at you with that soft, adoring expression you’d only dreamed of before, and it made you feel like you were the only person in his world.

“You’re staring,” you whispered, smiling as you felt a blush creep up your cheeks.

“Can you blame me?” he murmured back, his voice warm and low. “I’ve missed so much time, I don’t want to miss a single moment now.”

You felt your heart stutter, a nervous excitement bubbling up as you glanced down at his hand, your fingers lightly tracing patterns on the back of it. The space between you felt electric, and when he gently cupped your face, tilting it towards him, your breath caught. Slowly, as if asking permission, he leaned in.

Your eyes fluttered shut, and then his lips brushed softly against yours, a delicate kiss that felt like everything you’d waited for. His hand cradled your cheek, his thumb brushing gently as if he were afraid you might disappear. You kissed him back, your hand moving to rest against his chest, feeling his heartbeat under your fingertips, strong and steady.

“Chris,” you whispered softly as you pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, his name slipping out naturally, comfortably. The warmth in his eyes told you he’d heard everything you couldn’t put into words—how he was forgiven, how he was here, truly here, and that was all you’d ever wanted.

The tender moment, though, was cut short by a loud gasp and a stumbling sound near the doorway. You whipped around to see Jisung and Sunghoon standing there, both looking wide-eyed and more than a little surprised.

“Oh… I did not mean to see that,” Jisung said, covering his eyes dramatically, though you could see the smirk threatening to break through. “My best friend and my little sister? Wow, I was not prepared!”

Sunghoon, by contrast, grinned openly, the kind of grin that said he’d known this would happen all along. “Took you both long enough,” he teased, making his way over towards you to whack your head affectionately. “I was starting to think I’d have to do something drastic to get you two together.”

You laughed, face warm with embarrassment, but Chris only chuckled, unfazed even by Sunghoon’s physical touch with you, as he slid his arm around your shoulders again. “You two need to learn how to knock,” he said lightly, squeezing you a little closer.

Sunghoon just shrugged, shooting you a mischievous look. “I’m sure Jisung didn’t feel a need to consider having to knock on the door of his own home.”

Jisung laughed, giving Sunghoon a playful nudge. But then turning to Chan with a serious look. “I might still need to have ‘the talk’ with you, Hyung. I know we’ve known each other forever, but this is new territory.”

You rolled your eyes, pretending to scowl at your brother. “Oh, please, Ji. You never said anything before.”

“It’s because you weren’t actually together at the time! But now you are.”

Chris leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, a look of peace and contentment in his eyes. “Yeah, and I’m not going anywhere this time,” he said, looking up at Jisung and Sunghoon, his tone serious yet gentle. “Not ever.”

Jisung nodded, his expression softening as he took in the scene. “Good. Just make sure you’re good to her, alright? Or else I’ll have to do the brotherly duty of fighting you or whatever older brothers are supposed to do…” He mumbled, turning towards Sunghoon for backup.

“Yeah…and I’ll do whatever a best friend does…” He said confused, shrugging as you laughed.

Chris’s grip tightened just slightly around your shoulders. “You don’t have to worry about that,” he said, his voice low and steady. “She’s the most important person in my life.”

Jisung scrunched up his nose, pretending to gag. “Ugh, okay, I was prepared for the brother talk, but I did not sign up for the mushy romance stuff. Can you two not be gross for five seconds?”

Chris laughed, glancing down at you with a sparkle in his eyes. “Fine, I’ll spare you… for now,” he said, giving you a playful nudge and a kiss to your nose

Sunghoon, ever the instigator, leaned back with a grin. “Hey, give them a break, Jisung. They’ve got years of this to catch up on. And honestly, I’m enjoying the show.”

Jisung threw a pillow in Sunghoon’s direction. “Well then maybe you should go find yourself someone if you think it’s cute seeing how my best friend and sister act.” He teased, rolling his eyes but unable to hide the small smile tugging at his lips. “Maybe they’ll have a sister and then you can join our family.”

Sunghoon shuddered and shook his head. “No thank you. But Y/N’s kids will have an Uncle who spoils them.” He said, grabbing the bottle of Soju from the coffee table.

“Hey! I get the title of favorite Uncle automatically.” Jisung whined. “No fair.”

Sunghoon shrugged. “The favorite Uncle has to be from the maternal side.”

“The hypothetical-” He shot a look at you. “Mom in question is my sister!”

“Logic, doesn’t always logic my dear friend.”

As Sunghoon and Jisung went back and forth you laughed, settling into Chris’s embrace, feeling the warmth of home around you. You felt his smile without even looking and it made your heart leap. This, right here, was everything you’d hoped for and more. And as the teasing and laughter filled the room, you knew that no matter what, you were exactly where you were meant to be. With who you were meant to be with.

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[anothershorthuman]

Stay Alive Pt. 7

pairings: nct dream x platonic!reader, afab!reader (you wear a skirt, but they/them pronouns are used), ??? x reader x ???

genre: zombie apocalypse au, high school au, angst, fluff, humor, not really horror but it's zombies ya'know

word count: 6.25k

series warnings: blood, injuries & fighting, suicide, character death, swearing, again... zombies.

chpt warnings: sexual assault, swearing, grief, dead parents, mentions sex and periods, guns and violence

summary: nobody was ready for a zombie apocalypse. you were definitely not ready for a zombie apocalypse. while contemplating just giving up and accepting your fate, you meet a group of boys. life may seem pointless now, but at the very least, you now have a reason to stay alive.

previous: masterlist: next

…

Your shift with Jaemin ends when the sun rises; he wakes you up first before waking the other boys by banging two pots together. They complain at the idea of getting up while the sun is still rising but comply once Jaemin promises them breakfast before they go back to walking. 

The boy's eagerness to eat is overwhelming for you, so you stand near the doorway to the kitchen, watching all of them stuff their faces with bacon and eggs as if they hadn’t eaten for days. You're watching Chenle and Jisung fight over a piece of bacon, eyebrows scrunching in disgust, when you feel someone nudging you with their elbow. You nod at Jeno in acknowledgement but say nothing as he hands you a plate with breakfast.  

“You should eat.” You nod in what Jeno assumes is appreciation, before he walks away. He watches from afar as you ignore the utensils he left you and eat the scrambled eggs with your hand. His eyes smile when he sees you immediately go for a second bite.

…

The seven of you walked in silence for maybe 20 minutes before Haechan had started complaining about how bored he was. You’re a little surprised when he decides to focus on annoying you rather than any of the boys. He had been trying to hold your hand for a while now, but you were slapping it away. Eventually he gives up on holding your hand but hooks his arm with yours, and is pleased when you don’t shove him away. Despite your weariness, the physical affection isn’t awful, and it reminds you of Jungwoo a little.

“There’s the corner store!” Haechan exclaims before running over, pulling you with him. 

Haechans fast pace doesn’t give you enough time to look at your surroundings and Haechan is too excited with the idea of seeing his family that he doesn’t notice the worried glances between Mark, Jeno, and Renjun.

You want to scold Haechan after you stumble into the store but become speechless after finally getting a good look at the inside of the store. The products of the store were completely scattered, on the floor and on the counter. The glass from the door and the freezers was shattered, with drinks and food scattered on the floor. The cash register was broken, as was the stool that was typically behind it. 

Haechan disconnects from you and begins to wander the store. He calls out for his mom, and then his sister, not being able to control the growing waver in his voice. 

You too are wandering the store when the rest of the boys finally enter the store. Walking past an aisle, you freeze. There’s a puddle of blood coming from behind a door, presumably a break room for the workers. You peak your head over an aisle, checking where the boys are. Haechan is the closest, but Renjun and Chenle are quickly approaching him and you hope they’ll keep him away from the blood, at least until you can figure out who it belongs to. You glance at Jeno and Mark who are standing by the cash register and consider grabbing one of them just in case things go wrong. 

You step around the blood and reach with a shaking hand to grip the door handle. The sounds of the boys around you fade for a second as you gather your courage to open the door. You whip it open with a surprising amount of strength and scramble to catch it before it hits the wall, not wanting to alert the others of what you're doing. Once you are confident the door won't give you away, you take a look around the room. If not for the stream of blood leading to the back of the room, behind another tall shelf, you might have been pleased to see there was more supplies that would be useful for your group, like toilet paper and hand sanitizer. But alas, the sight of that much blood would spook anyone. 

Peering around the corner of the bookshelf, you take a few deep breaths only to gag when you realize that you're standing in a pungent stench. There's a body behind the bookshelf. You cover your nose and mouth with your hand. The body is face down, but it’s a middle aged woman with long black hair. You had been preparing to see a dead body, it was inevitable given the circumstances, but the possibility of your first being someone Haechan might know, might be his mother, makes this moment a lot harder to cope with than you anticipated. You look around the room, looking for something to cover the body with. You use an abandoned sweater before quickly leaving the room. 

All of the boys are gathered around the door, seemingly processing the same shock you felt when you first spotted the blood. You can’t help but to look into Haechans watery eyes, even though he instantly looks away from you.

“There’s a body in there,” you say, “a woman, not sure what happened, not sure I want to find out.”

Nobody replies for a second, knowing that there is a possibility of it being Haechans mother.

“I can check.” Renjun offers.

Haechan shakes his head strongly, “If it’s my mom then it should be me.”

“They’re faced down, so we would need to flip them over first.” 

Jeno steps forward with Haechan and reassures him that he’ll help him with that much. You watch as the two go inside and stand quietly with the rest. The six of you hear Jeno count them down to presumably flip the body over. And then you hear Haechan start to wail. 

Deciding to give him some space, you start to walk toward the entrance of the store, the rest of the boys following. It’s only until you all settle outside that you realize some of the other boys are crying too. Renjun has tears quietly streaming down his face and Jisung is straight up crying. 

Jaemin tells you about how all of the sophomores would meet up at Haechans house to play games together. They would often stay for dinner, his mom made the best kimchi. She was kind, going to Jeno’s games when his parents were busy or gifting Renjun paint or packing an extra lunch for Haechan to give to Jaemin when she found out he would never eat at school.

And then he tells you that Jisung was just an empath, he had never met her.

While you had never met the woman or felt particularly close to your own mother, feeling helpless was not a foreign concept for you and you can’t help but pity Haechan. You sit outside for maybe 20 minutes before Mark is standing up and dusting off his pants. He says you should leave soon and that he was going to go get Haechan and Jeno. The three of them walk out and you all start to walk away without a destination in mind.

…

You didn’t mind walking aimlessly, but due to the literal zombie apocalypse, you think that it probably wouldn’t be wise to wander around for the entire day. Your entire group is clearly not in the right headspace. Anytime you hear a noise that could be other people or a zombie, they get spooked and switch directions. You had yet to run into other people.

You had been walking for an hour before Jisung started whining about wanting to take a break. Jaemin suggests breaking into another house but Renjun disagrees, saying that it feels oddly intimate being in a stranger's house without them in it. Mark offers his house, but quickly backtracks when he realizes that he has no idea how to get there, they are lost. 

This of course causes all of them to focus on what's happening, trying to identify where they are. Chenle is trying to retrace their steps when you speak up, “I, uh, I think I know where we are.”

Their necks snap in your direction and they swarm you. And suddenly they’re bombarding you with questions. Their faces feel too close, you can feel their hot breaths on your skin and the way it makes the hair on your arms stand. 

“I live near here!” You blurt out. Your sudden outburst has them backing away. “It’s a really small place, but we’re tired and there’s food there. We can spend the night there and figure out our next move.”

…

Jisung still has no idea where they are. He lived on the other side of school and even looking at the map on his phone, he didn’t really know how to get anywhere. So, he really was relieved when you said you recognized the area. 

Part of him is confused, this is a pretty run down part of town, even before the apocalypse, he can recall his parents telling him to avoid this area. You lead them down a steep street and he finally seems to notice how eerily quiet everything is. All he can hear is the huffing coming from the boys breathing and their shoes scraping against the concrete.

They enter an apartment complex with flickering lights at its entrance. Jisung finds himself instinctively shuffling closer to Chenle as they go up three flights of stairs. The hallway smells of smoke and the yellowish tint of the walls prove that smokers lived here. He wonders if you smoke. 

You open the door and he peeks over everybody's heads into the apartment. It's a studio, with a lofted bed and the eight of you struggle to fit into the… living room? Kitchen? Whatever you called it. Mark, Renjun, and Chenle squish themselves onto the couch and Jisung finds himself standing awkwardly next to them. 

You scratch your neck uncomfortably, “It’s usually just me in here, so I forget how small it is. Sorry. We can look for someplace else if you guys want.”

Jisung watches Haechan walk in, make a beeline for the ladder that leads him up to your bed before promptly face planting on it. 

Jaemin is the only one still standing near the entrance with you and Jisung can't help but be annoyed by him, leaning over you, a hand placed on the wall next to you. 

“I like your place.” He says, “small, but cozy.”

You snort in amusement. When did you two get so friendly? Jisung thinks to himself.

…

“So, this is where you live?” Jungwoo looks around the small studio apartment. You can’t help but feel a bit self conscious and you cave into yourself, your arms crossing and shoulders hunched a little. 

“Uh, no! Not like that,” Jungwoo tries to reassure you, “I guess part of me didn’t believe it when you said you lived by yourself.” He plops down on the small couch (which takes up a majority of the apartment. 

“It’s okay.” You say. “...you're the first person I've brought over.” 

“Really?”

You nod.

Jungwoo opens his backpack and starts going through his stuff. He pulls out a white polaroid camera and pulls you over by your sleeve so that you’re sitting next to each other. “We should take a photo then! This is a pretty big deal.”

He snaps the picture of you two and shakes it so that it’ll develop faster. He grins as he looks at the picture before handing it to you.

“Thanks for letting me come over.”

“It’s not like the place is impressive or anything”

“It doesn’t have to be impressive. I’m just glad you were comfortable enough hanging out outside of school.”

“...Yea, I am kind of sick of you.” You snicker as he lets out a gasp and hits you. “That was rude!” You say.

“That’s it, I'm leaving.”

…

You peer up into Jaemin’s eyes as he continues to loom over you. He’s still talking, but you stopped paying attention to him a while ago. You’re not sure if he hasn’t realized that you're not listening or if he just doesn’t care. Your eyes flicker around the room, up to Haechan, who is now sleeping in your bed. 

Jaemin follows your gaze, “Don’t worry about him.”

Your eyes snap back to him, a bit dumbfounded, “What?”

“I mean don’t worry about him too much.”

“How can I not?” you ask him pointedly, “His mom died, Jaemin”

He moves so that he’s leaning against the wall next to you rather than standing in front of you.

“I think we all know that anyone could die in a zombie apocalypse.”

You sigh, “I know, but this makes it feel more real, ya’know? How am I suddenly the sympathetic one? Aren’t you guys friends?”

Jaemin picks at the skin around his fingernails. His movement makes you uncomfortable but you can’t bring yourself to stop him. “Of course I am. But I know Haechan, he doesn’t like being coddled, even though he could probably use the support right now. He doesn’t want it from me.”

“And I thought you were the bad boy.”

He shakes his head, “I might have the image, but he definitely has the emotional constipation that goes with it.” 

You're silent for a little while before he leaves to join the guys. You sit on the floor, a little further from the group but close enough to listen to their antics. You catch Jisung and Renjun glancing at you every once in a while, but they don't ask you to come closer and you don’t bother to move. 

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, being in your apartment makes it easy to ignore how the world is ending outside. Except for Haechan, of course, who has not left the comfort of your bed.

You make them some ramen and you all watch cartoon reruns on your shitty tv, changing the channel everytime some sort of news starts. You watch them grow tired and fall asleep, one by one. Eventually, you get up from your spot on the floor and climb the ladder up to your bed. 

Haechan shifts when you settle next to him. The bed is big enough that you aren’t pressed against each other, but if one of you were to roll over you’d end up laying on top of the other person. 

Jaemin might know Haechan well enough to leave him alone for a while, but you don’t. Hesitantly, you lift your hand and place it on his arm. You can feel him tense under your touch and you retract your hand, worried that Jaemin had been right and you shouldn’t have overstepped. You even think about leaving the bed so that he can continue to have a little bit of privacy, but he’s turning around to face you. His movement is slow and calculated, you can tell that he’s trying to not crush you. When he stops moving, the first thing you notice are his eyes. You might not have known this boy for very long, but the warmth and liveliness that was in them when you first met was gone, now bloodshot and sunken from all the crying he’s been doing. The darkness of the room makes the contours of his face look darker and he resembles the characters of a Tim Burton movie.

Haechan is avoiding your gaze and you wait for him to say something. When he does, it’s in a whisper, “Will you hold me?”

You nod at him and slip an arm under his head. He shoved his face into the crook between your neck and shoulder. You don’t say anything when you feel his tears hit your skin and you don't say anything when he tightens his grip around you. 

Haechans breath eventually evens out and you realize that he’s asleep. You aren't used to having anyone pressed up against you, and despite the way you squirm, it isn’t uncomfortable. You’re about to fall asleep when you hear someone climbing up the ladder. You quickly close your eyes and pretend to be asleep until the person goes down the steps. You peek an eye open just to see the top of Jeno’s head disappear. Was he just checking in on Haechan? You think about possibly asking him, but you’re much too tired to even try to get up. 

It’s the best night's sleep you’ve gotten in months.

…

Everyone is surprised when Haechan is the one suggesting you all get moving the next morning, but no one fights him on this. Instead, they pack their bags before deciding to walk further north. Renjun had woken up early and watched the news without any sound while everyone else was still asleep. Apparently, there were some camps set up across the country in order to help people, maybe some of their families ended up there.

Nobody says anything when Haechan holds your hand when you start walking. You can tell that they’re surprised that you’re letting him, except for Jaemin, who sends you an annoying wink when your gaze meets. 

Despite being the one to suggest leaving your apartment, Haechan is barely trailing after you. At times, it feels like you’re dragging him behind you. Yet, he never complains about the continuous walking or comment on the looks he receives when he wipes tears from his eyes.

You spend several hours walking. At one point, you came across a couple of bikes and rode them (two to a bike) until one of the tires popped, leaving Chenle with a nasty scrape on his knee after Jisung landed on top of him. You ditched the bikes after that. All the phones you guys had ran out of battery and you spent the night in an abandoned building. 

Without your phones, the eight of you were truly lost. Time and distance feel insignificant even when zombies appear. Your group had developed a routine, with Jeno, Mark, and Jaemin as the first lines of defense, all swinging bats at any zombie that got too close. With no other weapons, you are the second line of defense, clutching the knife that Mark returned to you. Looking back, you were stupid not to take more knives from your apartment, but everyone was too frazzled to think about potentially fighting zombies. 

Rarely do zombies get past the boys with bats, but there have been a few close calls when Haechan just doesn’t react to a zombie lunging at him and you end up shoving him out of the way. Jisungs instinct is always to run away and sometimes that means leaving the rest of you behind. Chenle will chase after him if he sees him run away, but once, when his knee injury was recent, his knee gave out trying to run and Jisung had gotten lost. Yelling would only attract more zombies, so you ended up going in circles in the area for maybe an hour, looking for him. You find him hiding behind a car, having a panic attack. 

After four days of walking, Mark and Renjun are talking about finding a place to shower in. You’re currently taking a break from walking, all of the boys are munching on protein bars and you’re taking a nap, head on Haechans lap. 

He isn’t talking much, but the two of you have become a clingy duo. Mark thought that you were just tolerating Haechan because you felt bad for him, but now, it seems like you reach out for him just as much as he reaches for you. Some of the other boys have taken it as a sign to be more comfortable with you too. Jaemin will often have an arm over your shoulder if you’re sitting next to each other. There's a look of longing in your eyes when you look at him that Mark just can’t figure out where it’s coming from, but he’s not that surprised that you like Jaemin, if anyone at all. Chenle and you have a habit of teasing Jisung, often about girls and his lack of knowledge about them.

The only one of the boys that still keeps his distance from you is Jeno. Mark hasn’t seen Jeno be so cold to anyone before. Sure, your first time meeting the boys was pretty rocky, but Jeno is supposed to be the nice one of the second years. Regardless, he keeps his distance and deals with you since the rest of the boys seem to like you. 

When he asks Jeno why he hasn’t grown to like you, Jeno only shrugs and says, “they’re your guys’ friend, not mine.”

“They let us into their apartment and they take care of Haechan.” 

“I don’t have to like everyone, Mark.”

Except Mark knows that that's bullshit and Jeno does like everyone… or at least everyone that the boys are friends with. There has to be something else, and Mark swears he’ll get to the bottom of it.

…

A day later, the eight of you stood on the side of a street. This street was elevated and overlooked a good part of the city. If you looked closely enough, you could see a zombie or two wandering. It turns out that zombies are mostly solitary beings, you don’t usually run into more than three of them at a time unless a loud noise attracts them. The view would be a lot nicer if you had seen it at sunset and Renjun suggests staying there until you get to see it. He found some color pencils in the house you all showered in the day before and took them with him. He had been sketching and drawing the entire day. Nobody disagrees with his idea to sit there for a while and let him draw. 

The sun is only starting to set and he pulls out his warmer colored pencils. He notices a dark spot of red that he tries to smudge, but it doesn’t budge.

“What the-” he mutters, gaining the attention of Jeno, who is sat beside him. The dot seems to be a light, similar to one of those cat laser pointers. The two boys follow where it comes from, just down the road.

Jeno, quicker than Renjun at realizing what it is, yells “Fuck!” and throws himself at Renjun, getting them both out of the way quick enough before a bullet is now where Renjun was sitting.

The noise makes all of you jump, and for Jisung and Chenle to wake up. Jisungs flight instinct kicks in and he moves to get up, although a bit sluggish compared to his usual reflexes.

“No!” Jeno yells, flinging himself to grab onto Jisungs ankle to keep him from running directly into open fire. Jisung falls on his face instead. 

Everyone is quiet for a second, trying to process that the first group of humans you’ll have to interact with since the apocalypse started just shot at you. Next thing you know, you're being swarmed.

Their lights are blinding and you all squint. You're all being yelled at to lay face down on the floor and you do. You're outnumbered, not that it matters considering they're all holding M4’s to all of your heads. The soldiers surrounding you haven’t stopped yelling and the whole situation makes you dizzy, your hands won’t stop shaking. 

From your spot on the ground, it’s hard to see the boys. There seems to be a soldier standing next to each of you, except for Jeno, who’s got three of them standing next to him, but that’s about as much as you can figure out by looking at a bunch of shoes. They’re spilling the contents from your backpacks on the floor and one of them confiscates the knife that you had left on the floor next to you. 

You yell out in alarm when the soldier next to you presses their knee to your back and pulls your arms behind you. The boys protest at your distress but shut up when Mark gets kicked in the gut. Your hands are tied behind your back with a zip tie and you think about how it might break open your skin with how tight the zip tie is. 

“This one had a knife,” he announced to the rest of the soldiers. The soldier that you assume is in charge is eying the bats that are sitting a little further from you guys, covered in blood and dirt. He yells at the soldiers to sit us all up.

“I am Sergeant Park. Congratulations on having survived this long,” he gestures to the bats, “I see you have found ways to stay alive. Now, you will all be taken to a survivors camp close to this location. Cooperate, and we will get you there in no time.” He turns to a soldier, “Search them, start with their fighter and end with the one with the knife.”

The soldiers surrounding Jeno drag him into a standing position, his hands are also tied with zip ties. There's a soldier holding onto each of his arms and he is roughly patted down. The rest of the boys' pat downs go by smoothly for the most part. Jisung flinches everytime the soldier places their hands on him and the soldier seems to have fun with this. Mark doubles over in pain when the soldier puts pressure on his abdomen where he was kicked.

Finally, you’re stood up and are getting patted down. There's a man behind you, holding your arms despite you already being restrained. You try your best to keep still and not say anything, even when the soldier unnecessarily squeezes your breasts. The soldier smiles sleazily at you and watches your face for discomfort as he moves on to your next breast. You don’t protest until his hands go more south, lifting up your skirt. You cross your legs in defense and try to move away only to cry out at the way that the soldier holding your arms twists them and the ziptie cuts open the skin on your wrist. 

“Get the fuck off them, man” you hear Jaemin protest. The soldier only laughs at him, “Little darling had a knife, kid. Gotta make sure they aren’t hiding anything else on them.”

Jeno struggles in their hold as well but is kicked onto his knees. 

Jaemin’s frustration only grows, “I said get the fuck off of them!” He’s able to shove off the soldier that was only loosely holding him and punch the soldier that had touched you before he’s jumped by another two soldiers and put on his back and also ziptied. They kick him a couple of times before you protest, “Okay! Finish your pat down or whatever. Just leave him alone.”

The soldier smiles smugly at Jaemin before standing in front of you again. You can’t help trying to squirm away when he lifts up your skirt again and you look away from the shitty man in front of you.

Later, when you get to talk about this moment, Chenle tells you that all of the boys looked away. It had been a traumatizing moment for you and perhaps selfishly, the boys didn’t want to watch that.

The soldier grabs your crotch tightly and he leans in close to you before whispering, “See, it isn’t so bad.” He leaves after that. 

The boys are allowed to stand up. Renjun helps Mark up. Jeno and Jaemin are being held by soldiers. Jaemin is visibly the most banged up by the encounter, but he holds himself well after having been in many fights. 

A truck driven by more soldiers approaches and the soldiers holding all of you push you in their direction. One of them orders Jisung to pick up your bats and he scrambles to do so. Renjun returns all of your dumped items into the backpack, only for it to be snatched from him. When the truck stops in front of you, the soldiers shove the boys on first before climbing in themselves. With no space left for you to sit, one of the soldiers beckons for you to sit on their lap. You don’t protest. 

The truck continues to go down the road, silently. It’s night now, so you can hear crickets and the crunching of the tire. Your group becomes alarmed when the truck takes a sudden turn, you would have fallen off the truck if not for the soldier's stiff grip. You’re now being driven away from the city, down a dirt path. The road is bumpy and you're sure the soldier under you is sporting a boner. You try to focus on controlling your breathing, closing your eyes so you can ignore the burning gaze of everyone on the truck. A hand falls on your thigh, radiating warmth as it presses against your skin. For a moment, you think you’re going to throw up. You feel a kick at your shoe and you open your eyes to see Chenle across from you. He smiles and winks at you and you can’t help but chuckle at his stupidity. 

The truck abruptly stops and the eight of you are pulled out of the truck and ushered into the camp. A clearing has been made for the camp, that much is clear with how its in the middle of the forest, with trees surrounding it in every direction except for the small dirt road you came in from. The camp is surrounded by two sets of tall wired gates. From what you can see, there is only one entrance and it is heavily guarded, even if there are military personnel throughout the entire perimeter.You pass through the first gate quickly after the sergeant gives the order to let you in, but the second gate is a bit trickier. There's a table with two medical professionals, fully covered head to toe. Here, they do simple check-ups on each of you, using lights to look into your eyes, ears, and mouth. Chenle gets his scraped knee disinfected and bandaged, but when they hand you all identification cards with your names on them, his comes with an extra symbol. From here, there are three entrances to the camp, a small gate opening behind the table where military and medical staff come in and out of, and two identical buildings on either side of the building. You are informed that the one on the right is for men and the one on the left is for women. Soon, you’re being pulled away from the boys, you follow the staff without much of a fight when you see the soldiers watching you intently. Once inside, you give the staff the card they hand just given you as you are led down the hall and into an office. 

You look around, trying to discern what sort of place this is. There are no windows and the walls are made of concrete. You can’t help feeling like you’re in jail. Despite this, the office is decently sized and well decorated, with a fancy looking desk and pc. You are directed to sit down and wait for the doctor before the staff closes the door. You sit in silence for a moment, listening to their footsteps fade away before you are out of your seat and trying to open the door; it’s locked. Defeated, you make your way back to your seat and look around the office. There's a plaque that reads Dr. Kang. You wonder if the boys are going through the same thing, locked into an office with an unpresent doctor. Your thoughts are interrupted when the door swings open and a woman walks in. She is young, maybe in her early thirties, with long dark hair and sharp eyes. She is wearing a sleek navy suit that accentuates the length of her legs. Her appearance would lead you to believe that nothing out of the ordinary was occurring and you can’t help but wonder how she has managed to find the time to keep her manicure looking nice. 

She doesn’t say anything when she walks in or sits down on the other side of the desk from you. Her eyes flicker to you for a second before returning to her computer screen, not wasting a second in acknowledging her. Still, you keep your eyes on her, not wanting her to think that she has the upperhand in making you uncomfortable. A couple of minutes go by of her clicking on her mouse and keyboard and you staring at her. Finally she seems to stop and look up to you. A smile graces her features and she makes eye contact with you, “I am Dr. Kang, nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

Her smile makes you uncomfortable rather than feeling reassured and you decide at this moment not to trust her. “I’m sure you already know that. I arrived here with seven boys, when will I be able to see them?”

She laughs at this, “I do know your name, but it is respectful to introduce yourself when meeting someone new. Nonetheless, I can see those boys mean a great deal to you, so let's try to do this quickly and get you back to them.” She watches you with the same cold smile until you nod in agreement. She asks you questions about your family, if you've contacted them and the sorts. You give her vague answers which she types quickly into her files. The questionnaire is quite boring, similar to what your physician may ask you at your yearly check up. She asks you about where you were when the outbreak happened and if you had lost anyone, if you were with the boys when it happened. You think about lying, telling her that yes, you had been with the boys the entire time, they had been your school friends that were together when misfortune struck, but you worry about being caught lying. Would it even matter? Still, you keep most of the truth to yourself, skipping over the part with Jungwoo and tell her that you met up with the boys a couple of days after the outbreak first happened. You hope they say the same thing. 

“When was your last period? Are you sexually active?” You know what she’s insinuating, of course. Her smug smile makes the question more telling as well. Although, you're not sure what reason she would have to feel smugly about knowing that you’re potentially having sex with one or multiple of the boys you were found with. 

Still you smile at her rather sarcastically, “Celibate, actually.” Your smile grows when you see her fake smile falter slightly.

“And your period?”

“Haven’t gotten it in a couple months.”

She hums, “Well, if you're sure you're not pregnant, then you were probably under a lot of stress, or something else could be potentially wrong. We’ll check in with you about that occasionally.”

You give her a curt nod. She types away at her computer for a while longer. She talks to you without lifting her gaze from her screen, “We’re done here. You’ll be getting your blood tested to make sure there aren’t any mutations in your DNA or are in the middle of turning.”

You’re taken from that room into another with medical equipment. A younger nurse approaches you and explains how she’s going to draw some blood from your arm. Her attitude is just as unsettling as Dr. Kang’s due to how preppy she is, but it seems more authentic and you haven’t decided if that's more or less concerning.

You flinch when the needle is inserted into your arm and she makes a comment about not liking needles. You watch her flip through a file that you assume belongs to you. There's a page that she spends significantly longer looking through and you can’t help but wonder what is written on it.

“You arrived here with other people?” You nod. 

“Are you all close?”

“We’re friends. Does it matter?” 

She laughs at your stiffness, “Just trying to make conversation. Usually the women's evaluation process takes longer than the men’s, so they’re probably about done, they could be entering the camp now.”

You can imagine them looking for you, walking through all of the bunk beds filled with people. Chenle and Jaemin might even be yelling for you, with Jisung following behind them, covering his face in embarrassment. She takes your fingerprint and a strand of your hair while tests are being run on your blood. You want to ask her why they need them but refrain from asking questions you know you won’t be given answers to. The machine she’s standing by dings when your tests are done and she scrolls through them. Her smile seems to die and is replaced by a frown. 

Your worry grows as she walks toward you and you sit up. She stops you with a hand on your shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask, watching her pull open a drawer next to you. 

“I hope those boys care about you” she says before sticking a needle into your chest. 

You want to scream but realize you don’t have the energy to. You try lifting your hand to remove the syringe but your arm flops over before you can get a proper grip on it.  The nurse is laying you down as you struggle to keep your eyes open. 

What– what did she do to me?

You’re unconscious before you can come up with an answer.

...

tagging! @staysstrays, @caspervoid, @alyselenai, @lethephin, @leechipp, @kodzukena, @kikookii, @rkiveruinz, @shley-chan, @butterfliesinthenightsky, @olxviaaaa

wanna be tagged? click here:)

a/n: hi! sorry for being gone for so long. I can't promise consistency, but I had a lot of fun working on this chapter and already have a decent part of the next one written. This chapter is pretty long too! Enjoy :3

[thewinter-eden]

insecurity pt. II // hj texts

Title: Insecurity pt II Genre: fake texts, friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort Pairing: idol/college student bsf!Jisung x fem!reader

Summary: Your long-time secret crush Jisung invites you to the studio to listen to him and some of the guys practice some lines, but when you start to feel like you're not good enough for him, you start pulling away.

Warnings: none (jisung calling you 'baby' platonically because he's jisung???) (Time jumps are described as written sections)

< prev part | next part >

Saturday:

Sunday:

kinda thinking about making an Insecure Reader fake texts fic for each of the members...

tag list:

@amarecerasus @kumariiai @diekleinesuesse @captainchrisstan @0omillo0 @katexstay @younggwingss @darlingsoulbeautifulthoughts (sorry for some reason it didn't tag your properly the first time) @ramadiiiisme

comment a request to be tagged!

[baby-yongbok]

Look At Me

Han Jisung x Afab!Reader

☼ Genre: Fluff ☼Summary: Jisung is just your friend... right? ☼ Word Count: 1.2k ☼ a/n: This is set up in a retail kind of setting. I pictured Target cause I used to work there 😭. I didn't edit this cause I'm running around like a headless chicken to prepare for vacation. I hope that you enjoy!

✧ Masterlist ✧

Jisung is just your friend. Your favorite co-worker and the only person on your 7pm to 11pm shift that can make you smile. 

Jisung is just your friend that you’re always teamed up with to collect the carts from the parking lot before the store closes. He makes a game out of it, chasing you with carts and racing you to the front of the store. Sometimes when the parking lot is nearly empty he picks you up and puts you in the last cart that he collects. His arms wrap around you with a soft but firm grip as his chest vibrates with laughter, you love it… platonically of course.

Jisung is just your friend that brings you coffee before every shift. Your heart broke when you started to cut down caffeine. You thought that that would end his sweet gestures but he surprised you by bringing you an herbal tea instead, his favorite flavor that he hoped you’d like. Since he likes it you love it.

Jisung is just your friend that comes up behind you when he sees you struggling to get something off of a taller shelf. His hands grounds your hips and his back is against yours as he tells you to let him give it a shot. The small grunts that thrums through him as he stretches himself behind you makes you hot. He chuckles when he realizes that he’s too short to reach it too. “I’ll go get a ladder since we’re both tiny.”

Jisung is just your friend who gives you one of his wireless earbuds when you’re working in the same department. He shared a playlist with you on Spotify so that you can both DJ while you’re organizing the aisles. You can hear him humming along from the opposite side of the aisle, he sounds better than the song in your ear. So much better that you turn the music down until he’s almost all that you can hear. 

Jisung is just your friend who holds your hand to guide you through the crowd of the Saturday afternoon rush. He twists and turns and dodges children running around the busy store with you close behind him. He stops to answer questions, turning to you with an adorable furrow when he doesn’t remember where something is. He holds your hand all the way until you get to the break room. “I can finally breathe.” He jokes as he lets your fingers fall from his. “Let’s hide in here, yeah?” He smiles at you and you at him. 

Jisung is just your friend who buys you lunch on random days throughout the week. He’ll disappear from your section minutes before lunch is supposed to start then he’ll pop up in the break room with your favorite stuff. Whatever you’re craving is what he’s buying. “I just want you to eat well. You worked hard today, you deserve it. Now eat before they throw us back out there.” 

Jisung is just your friend who's never spoken a word about his girlfriend. Does he have one? Is he single? You don’t really care… cause you’re not into him like that but you’re curious. He’s cute, really cute so he couldn’t possibly be single, right?

Jisung is just your friend. He’s your very single friend. “I haven’t dated in months. After my ex moved I just wanted to focus on myself, ya know?” The two of you are pushing carts filled to the top as he ponders his thoughts. “I could start seeing someone now but I think that I’m just waiting for the right person to look at me.” He looks over at you but you’re staring down at your cart. He smiles to himself.

Jisung is just your friend who drives you home on nights when your shift runs a bit later than it should. “Can’t have a pretty girl like you walking home near midnight.” You always blush when he teases you. He opens the passenger door for you with a cute small smile and you look away from him. Why does he always make you blush so hard?

Jisung is just your friend who turns up his radio and sings along to the song he’s been wanting to show you for days. He says that it’s his new favorite but you notice that it’s not what he typically likes. It’s softer and slower than his usual taste. You ask him what he likes about it as he turns onto your block.

Jisung is just your friend who looks you in the eye once he parks “It reminds me of you.”

Jisung is just your friend. Jisung is just your friend. He didn’t mean it like that .

Jisung did mean it like that. He turns towards you, shifting in the driver's seat and pushing his hair out of his face. He turns the radio down so that you can hear him. He needs you to hear him. “I know that we’ve been friends for awhile and I’ve loved every second of that but I don’t think that I wanna be friends anymore. I wanna know if you’ll allow me to be more than that.”

Jisung is not just your friend, he's the boy that you’ve had a crush on for months and he’s confessing to you right now. He’s making your heart race and your leg shake and your mouth dry. He’s looking over at you with hopeful eyes hoping that you’ll say yes to him or anything at all at this point.

Jisung is your crush that you’d be a fool to turn down. You muster up all of the courage hiding within you to sit up straighter and talk to him. You work yourself up to confess right back. Words start to form and you slowly push them out of your mouth, molding each one as perfectly as you can in the moment. “I would love for you to be more than that.”

Jisung is your crush who smiles to himself when you confess but you miss it, you’re looking away from him like you usually do when he makes you feel like this. When he makes you feel like you’re hugging the sun with a butterfly garden in your stomach. He thinks it’s cute but he wants to see your eyes. He wants you, the right person, to look at him.

Jisung is your crush who leans towards you and gently reaches for your hand that’s resting on your shaking knee. The touch snaps your attention over to him. Your eyes are finally on him. “Could you say that again? But this time, will you look at me? I wanna see your pretty eyes when you confess.” Your gaze wavers and he chuckles, fuck you’re so cute. “I’m over here.” He teases, big boba eyes shining as they try to find yours. 

You’re looking at Jisung, sparkling eyes staring into each other when you confess again. His hand holds yours as he pulls you through the emotions you’ve been storing away in your chest. He pulls you right into this moment, grounding you with his gaze and sharing beguiling smiles. 

Jisung was just your friend but now he’s so much more. 

Thank you for reading! I hope that you enjoyed!

Likes, Reblogs and Comments make my day! Thank you for all support, it keeps me going!

ALSO, please follow my back-up acct. @minniee-verse 💕

Tag List: @teddy-stay , @baconcupcakes123, @moonchild9350 ,

@krayzieestay, @soulsbbg , @stay-bi , @yzsqu , @gho-ster , @lghtdarling, @pastellbunno , @lixiluvs

[sungiescheotluv]

champagne supernova ⭑.ᐟ park jisung

pairing: park jisung x gender neutral reader

word count: 4.2k

tags/warnings: fluff, friends to lovers, emo(ish) jisung, non-idol au.

summary: making friends as an adult is difficult. luckily for you, the rock/alternative online community welcomes you with open arms, one person in particular catching your interest.

notes: hi thereee! 😁 back again with another jisung fic, one that i actually came up with myself lmao. since getting back into the dreamies, i've been a bit surprised by (but absolutely loving) jisung's taste in music. hence this silly fic, which i do hope you enjoy! thank you so much for all your recent support, it makes my heart smile whenever you like or comment on a post! anyways, happy reading! much loveeeee! <3

The concept of internet safety is lost on you. How else could you explain sharing a hotel room with someone you’d never met before in real life? 

Perhaps, you should retrace your steps. See how you’ve managed to find yourself in such a dangerous position, the front door locked and your body pinned to the bed.

Making friends as an adult is difficult. On par with counting every grain of rice in a field, you’d say.

You underestimated how easy maintaining friendship was when younger, third places like school, daycares, extra-curricular activities demanding your presence, inadvertently strengthening your social life. Not that you were the most social, you had a hard time approaching people actually, but maybe that was a part of your charm. Bringing you out of your shell, like all your friends did before your bond was cemented in tree trunks or sandy beaches. University is the last place you take this ease for granted, exposed to all different kinds of people and relationships, some platonic and not-so much. Either way, despite the barge of assignments and countless nights out, you’d make it into adulthood relatively unscathed.

Adulthood, however, doesn’t turn out as you expect. You’d been sold a dream, one eight-year old you envisioned dabbling with the stars accompanied by a lavish life and all the ice-cream you could get your hands on. Unfortunately, no star would be rubbing shoulders with you anytime soon and any that would, you’d have to pay a large sum of money to even see. A large sum you did not have. So, yeah. Just that, toxic work culture, endless bills and a whole host of other obligations linger above your head like a grey cloud.

What helps is finding the small joys in life. Slow mornings when the city is asleep, the scent of coffee at the crack of dawn, the sunshine against your skin, friends who despite their busy schedules carve out time to see you. All pieces of your life that make it worth living. Music is in there too, the art of melodies and lyrics strung together having the strange ability to carry you throughout even your worst days.

Your moods refuse to stick to a certain genre and in the midst of dark afternoons and frost covered roads, you find yourself gravitating towards alternative music. Slow, steady and aching. Like how your life moves with the severe lack of sun. It’s not a genre your circle of friends dabble in as much as you do. It’s to be expected, anyone who deviates from a standard of ‘normalcy’ was outcasted, one too many examples found in your high school days where kids got called weird and satanic for wearing a Green Day t-shirt to school. The thought makes you laugh now, but back then, when all that matters is fitting in, it was sad and suffocating. Seeing a part of yourself denied before your very eyes. Sometimes you’d hang out with those kids, bond over your collection of CDs and even go to a few gigs together. However, when Monday came around and they’d approach you and your friends, raving about the concert - you froze. Confronted into either owning yourself and being outcasted like the rest of the emo kids or ignoring them, deny yourself for the sake of social standing. 

You pretend like they’ve grown two heads, feigned confusion knitting your eyebrows together while your friends laugh and hurl insults at someone who you considered a friend - a better one than the ones at your side. And yet, you let the laughter continue, a coward with its tail between its legs as you depart, the taste of iron on your tongue.

Maybe this is payback for those poor decisions. A dead-end job, a successful but shitting ex and enough inner turmoil to make a therapist clutch their pearls. 

You abandon those friends when you get to university, getting better ones that wouldn’t make someone feel small due to their own insecurities. You make amends with the emo kids, your apology marking the true end of your friendship. You search online spaces for like-minded people, showing up as yourself and being embraced as. Everyone in the Reddit community is unbelievably sweet, sharing their music recommendations, concert wishlists and pictures of their cats. Some members, including yourself, form a closer bond, taking your conversation to a Discord server that becomes your escape in a way. A channel for heartfelt discussion that extends past your love for music. You’re not as active due to work obligations, but whenever you pop up, one member in particular always greets you with a warmth like no other. 

Linkin.parkjisung is his user, his icon the rock and roll hand sign over his face. Likes Blur, Green Day, Oasis and of course, Linkin Park. He’s like you, dips in and out, types a few responses before he’s gone again. It’s a scenario where other members grow closer, and your anxiety around speaking in the group begins. They’re already close, it seems almost futile to interrupt, right? 

What if you’re ignored? What if you’ve missed your window of opportunity? 

It’s a line of thinking that crosses your mind when you send in an apology for being inactive, moments later your phone pinging with a notification.

Linkin.parkjisung: no need to apologize! life gets busy for everyone, myself included. hope you’re doing ok (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

Other group members echo his message, sending in their own real-life obligations that the group ends up bonding over, complaining of rising car insurance and overly demanding bosses. 

It’s the start of it all, really. That one message, a hand extended to yours that breaks you out of your shell and kick starts your friendship with Jisung. From that day onwards, you move more freely throughout the server, making good friends with everyone but better friends with Jisung. Somewhere down the line, you end up privately messaging each other. What starts out as simply giving each other music recommendations (since he apparently always loves the songs/artists you send into the server) becomes sneaking into the bathroom during a busy family reunion to call Jisung about how your grandmother wore a catsuit to impress her ex, your grandfather. You grow that close, no details spared on life events. How else is there space for secrecy when you’re video calling drunk, watching festival performances of Fontaines D.C.?

In any case, you’re close. You text everyday and call every week like clockwork, namely because you live some hours away from each other. During your calls, he’s shrouded in a low darkness, self conscious of the way he looks, he says. You’re unconvinced, slivers of his features in photos he sends you with his roommates’ three cats or on call saying otherwise. Regardless, you let it slide because Jisung becomes more than his face - he becomes a source of comfort, someone who makes you laugh as much as brings you calm, someone you slowly can’t imagine your days without. In hindsight, this is where your romantic feelings develop. And with convenient timing too because one of the bands you recommended to Jisung, Wunderhorse are on tour, set to perform in a city two hours from the both of you.

“Tickets are going onsale at 10 am on Thursday,” Jisung murmurs, the clicks of his cursor coming through your laptop speaker. “Remember to set your alarm.”

“Will do. Lemme set a remin-” opening up your calendar, you see an unwelcome surprise. “Fuck.”

“What’s up?” Jisung’s voice echoes with sincere concern.

“I forgot I have a shift that day,” you groan, already knowing by the time your lunch break came, the event would be sold out. “We’re understaffed as is, so there’s no way I can get someone to cover for me.”

A deep hum vibrates from Jisung’s chest, a few more clicks of his cursor sounding before he asks in a small voice. “Well, I could just get the tickets for us both.”

“You would?”

“Yeah, I’m meant to be working from home that day anyways. And not to flex, but my internet’s pretty decent.”

You laugh. “Is that for your job or your crippling gaming addiction?”

“A bit of both,” he chuckles back, the sound blooming a warmth of happiness in your chest. “Working in CompSci has its perks.”

“So, I’m finding out,” you smile, an underlying layer of discomfort shifting you against your desk chair. “Are you sure, though?”

“Of course. I’d hate if you lost out on this knowing I could’ve done something to help,” Jisung explains. “You were the one to introduce me to them anyways. Plus we’d have a better chance of sticking together in the pit if we get them together, right?”

You swallow a lump in your throat, something taking flight in your airy chest. “Yeah, you’re right. Just send me your bank details so I can transfer you the day of.”

“Coming right up!” he jokes, and you laugh, however lame he claims himself to be.

On Thursday, he sends you a photo of his solid black high-tech set-up, a PC he’s constructed himself with more monitors than you can count. The side of his face is included in the picture, silky black hair, a brown eye and a beauty mark on his cheekbone you dream of kissing later that night. You find out he secures the tickets on your lunch break, your debt towards him being booking the hotel you’d be staying at. Due to the limited funds you’re working with, you end up getting a shared room, an option that gives him pause before he agrees in a tremored voice. You’re a bit apprehensive yourself, but you booked for two beds, so it should be fine. If worst comes to worst, and something happens between you two – like him turning out to be a sexist neckbeard loser he couldn’t take no for an answer - you’d sleep in your car (or kick him out, actually). At any rate, you had options (and a friend tracking your live location).

In no time, weeks fly by and Wunderhorse drops their latest album. It’s the best thing you’ve experienced since sliced bread, an opinion Jisung shares as you two listen to it over call late one Friday night, speaking about your favourite songs amongst other things. You don’t know how it starts, perhaps it’s a lyric that sticks out to him that he mentions or something else entirely, but suddenly, you’re reminded of high school you. How deeply you wanted to be accepted by others, and how that satisfaction depended on the person you got it from. That you preferred conformity instead of individuality, because being seen with popular shallow kids meant something to you.

“I wasn’t a good person in high school,” you find yourself admitting, your body hollowed out with guilt. Regret like ash on your tongue. “I hurt people because I valued other people’s opinions over my own. I know I was young, but-”

“You said it yourself: you were young,” Jisung comments, the serious intent in his voice catching you off guard. “The fact you recognise your behaviour and feel remorse for it shows how much you’ve grown. I mean, high school can be very unforgiving because nobody really knows who they are or what the fuck they’re doing, so it’s only reasonably to make choices you may regret. What’s important, I think, is how you’ve chosen to move forward,”

“You said it yourself, you’ve apologised to those you hurt. Not many, if any person in your position, would do the same, which shows how much you genuinely care to make things right,” you sniff, vision blurring with tears of relief and sadness. “So, if you ask me, I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself. It’s all a learning curve, you were doing what was best to protect yourself then. And now, you’re a better and kinder person because of it.”

Another time you should’ve known you’d fallen for him. Yet, you remain none the wiser. All the way until concert day, getting off work early that Friday afternoon and making the journey down to the bright city lights of Seoul. Everything twinkles and dazzles, a 180 from your modest living in your hometown. You suppose your excitement for the concert has some role in this too, but considering the lack of vibrancy in your life, you allow yourself to sink your teeth into this. Feel the goosebumps against your skin, the lightness in your limbs and the uptake in your heartbeat.

You check into the hotel first since Jisung has a last-minute team meeting at work, setting yourself up on your side of the cosy room of wooden and white hues. As you slip on your Hello Kitty headband to do skincare, a knock rasps against the door, audible above the sound of your music.

With furrowed eyebrows, you approach the door, revealing a sight that stops your heart in its tracks.

On the other side of the door is who you should’ve expected: Jisung. What you don’t expect, however, is his sharp features, black smooth hair with matching formal clothing to contrast so beautifully with his porcelain skin. The dark, ocean blue contacts he wears with a pretty pink lip tint. Not to mention that beauty mark you’ve been thirsting over for the past few months? Yeah, that’s all in eye-view now, close enough to touch and it’s this fact that sends your brain into overdrive.

While you malfunction, Jisung dips his head, a large fist curled to his lips to hide his sheepish smile. Chuckles in a bit of an awkward and embarrassed way. 

Oh my god?!

“Nice to finally meet you,” he greets, black leather overnight bag clutched to his side. A fluffy blue and pink keychain of Little Twin Stars hangs off the zip, a cute juxtaposition to his intimidating outfit. And height. God, he really wasn’t lying when he said he was nearly 6 ft. 

“I texted you I’d arrived, but you hadn’t read them,”

A forceful blink out of your trance brings you back to reality, one where you’re not openly drooling over how handsome your internet best friend is. “Yeah, sorry. I was busy getting ready.”

“I figured so,” his eyes scan your clothes - your ripped baggy jeans, leather platform shoes amongst what you have on - and his lips curve, admiration in his eyes. “You look great.”

If there weren’t societal ideals of an inappropriate reaction to that compliment, you would’ve tattooed it to your forehead, or on your lower back. Maybe ripped off your shirt and kissed him before combusting because what do you mean, this very handsome man, thinks you look great?!

“Thank you,” you blush, your body running hot like a furnace. Even so, you decide to take advantage of the situation, leaning in for an embrace that he reciprocates as you mumble into his shoulder. “Nice to finally meet you too.”

The rest of the afternoon blurs, the few moments of scattered glances and awkward silence incomparable with the ease of conversation that flows between you once his favourite song, Poppy, comes on. Catching up to speed with each other’s day as you two get ready, it’s not lost on you how domestic the scene is - how familiar, or right it feels. Jisung, in all aspects of the word, is endearing - flustered by the compliments you send his way, brightening up at the new additions to the setlist and best of you, timid with pink cheeks when he hands over a ‘first meeting’ gift - an assortment of snacks, a Hello Kitty plushie and a card that makes you coo. It takes everything in you not to sink your teeth into him, overwhelmed by the sweetness that laces his actions and words, riding the high he and the music gives you as you make your way to the venue after you’re both finished.

Long lines snake around the arena, grey clouds permeating the area as rainfall clatters to the pavement. Jisung, ever so prepared, brings along an umbrella that you share, squeezing underneath so much you feel the warmth of Jisung through his bare, very defined bicep. How someone looks so good in a silver sequin top under a tattered sleeveless black vest is beyond you. Then again, him being single is beyond your comprehension too. Considering his calm and thoughtful demeanour, coupled with his good looks, you would’ve expected people lining up by the thousands to plead their case. However, whenever you two talked about this, he’d simply say his go-to phrase and change the topic, his phrase being:

“I’ve got my eye on someone. Just working up the courage to ask them out.”

Whoever managed to catch his eye, you’d thought to be lucky. Maybe they’d saved a small village in their past life because as people push when the doors open, Jisung shields you from any damage, reminding you how good of a romantic partner he could be. Especially so when you’re inside and he snaps all your photos, accompanying you to the bar and merch table where you get matching t-shirts before he keeps them with him so you’re free throughout the concert. Dimmed red lights and chatter fill the spacious hall, a flood of warm bodies surrounding you as you peer at the stage, the band all set up and ready to go come showtime. You sing along to the host of songs the venue plays beforehand, enough nudges in the shoulder to get Jisung to sing along and of course - of course - he has a beautiful voice too. At this point, you were convinced he either had a missing toe or had weird opinions about the order of cereal because the more you spent time with him, the more he shines in your eyes.

Eventually, the chatter dies down and all lights go off, screams rising through the crowd as Wunderhorse comes onto the stage. Buzzing at a frequency unheard of, you bounce off the balls of your feet, hand holding Jisung as you exclaim, “It’s them! It’s really them!”

Missing how flushed Jisung becomes at the contact, you sing with all your heart - offkey and all - to their opening song, Midas. The energy is through the roof, a dizzying world of flashing lights and music that retches the lyrics straight out of you. In a moment’s chance, Jisung and you turn to each other mid-song, smiles bright as the stage lights outline your damp faces, chest heaving with a mouthful of lyrics in their wake. It’s the happiest you’ve been, holding his hand like this, and as the night winds to simmer, you sway to slow songs and thank your lucky stars for finding your way back to this.

After the show, you two chatter with other adoring fans before trekking to your nearby hotel, stomachs growling for food. Jisung finds a great Chinese place that delivers until 2 am, a gesture you simper at, unaware he’d even remembered you’d liked the cuisine. At this point, you’re drained in the best possible way, a dull ache in your feet but riding a high of something you’ll remember forever. 

Now, you’re all up to speed. Great. Let’s get back to your current dilemma.

Somehow, someway, your unlaced and stubborn platform shoes cause a stumble, one that Jisung tries to save you from but ends up caught in the mix. How, you might ask? Well, you’re not entirely sure but what you definitely know is that you’ve fallen on one of the beds, Jisung’s body caging yours as he braces his own fall. Face-to-face. With you.

Ok.

You’re close enough to share a breath, within reach to see his long lashes and shaky pupils that dart from your eyes to your lips, back to your eyes again. Suddenly, the room temperature dials to an unprecedented heat, walls closing in on you two as you lie in waiting. Waiting for the other to make their move. To lean in or pull away, heads or tails on a coin.

His phone rings, cutting through the tension-filled air with a knife. The moment, gone. 

“You okay?” he rasps, a knit in his eyebrows as if he’s holding himself back. You blink wordlessly, your answer in an absent nod. “I’ll, uhm…get the food.”

It’s not a suggestion, nothing that you can object to, particularly when he’s long gone and you’re clutching at your chest, months of infatuation knocking the breath out of you.

When Jisung returns minutes later, you’ve turned the TV on, preparing to fill the silence if need be. It proves necessary, only groans of pleasure and compliments to the chef shared between you two as you eat your weight in noodles. Not much is said when you’re getting ready for bed either, brushing your teeth together as if you're a couple and settling into separate beds, all the lights turned off.

Still reeling for the fall, and convinced his shallow breaths allude to his slumber, you’re startled by the call of your name, head turning towards Jisung beside you.

“Yes?”

“You sure you’re ok?” he asks before clearing his throat. “That was…some fall.”

You can say that again.

“I’m ok,” you lie. You’re on high alert, frazzled at every end with a heart you’ve just realised longs for the man not even two metres away from you. “Are you?”

Silence. The only feedback you hear is the crinkle of his duvet as he shuffles in his bed.

“Ask me another question.”

You turn to him, shrouded in darkness. “Like what?”

He doesn’t speak again, lets the silence devour the space between you before he says. “Ask me about the person I’m interested in.”

Water that rivals the arctic pours down your back, a harsh call to reality as you remember. Right, he has someone he’s interested in. Someone who he’ll devout his time to, listen to their music recommendations and hold their hands at concerts. And you? Well, you’ll still be friends, just not as close. Maybe not even friends at all.

The thought closes an iron fist around your heart.

“Why haven’t you asked them out?” is what you manage, because it’s on your mind - what time and place he’ll find himself in when he confesses his feelings.

“Because I’m scared,” he admits, small and in a whisper. “Considering we met online, it’s kind of hard to gauge their interest or read any signs. You don’t give me much to work with,”

You still. “I don’t?’

“I mean, I haven’t been too obvious, but I’m crazy about you,” he confesses. “I love the light in your eyes and the kindness in your heart. You’re so deeply human and live life like it’s your first and last. There’s no one like you and I think the idea of knowing how special you are triggered my fear of rejection. Because what would my life be without watching festival performances drunk with you? What would it be if you didn’t laugh at my lame jokes and didn’t command my every thought?”

Jisung shuffles again, a flicker of dim light in between you two at a lamp source as he stares over at you, wholehearted and vulnerable. “It’d be an empty one - not worth living.”

Slowly, your body brings you upwards, the two of you hanging off the edges of your bed. So close if you’d reach out, your hands would touch. 

“When?” you croak, unable to meet his eyes. “When did you…start feeling this way?”

His eyes lower, a slight curve to the corner of his lips. “Around November?”

Electricity zaps your back straight. Five months ago? “When we joined the server?”

“Shortly after that,” he admits, a coy grin breaking out against his flushed features. “I was having a really hard day and you’d recommend a song in the chat, Favourite by Fontaines DC, and said how nostalgic and hopeful it felt to you. I gave it a listen and…it was like a battery in my back. I cried, but I also smiled too because I understood what you meant by it all,”

He threads his fingers together, peering up with shining eyes as he adds, “it felt like a peak into your soul, and mine too….I think that’s where it started.”

Your hand finally reaches out, overlaying his as tears fill your sight. “You know you’re my favourite, right?”

“No one stood a chance after that drunk video of you singing along to Champagne Supernova,” you share a laugh, reminiscing of the video he accidentally sent into the server one December night. A die-hard Oasis fan till the end. “I mean it. There’s no one I’d want to spend my days with, listen to music with and discover all there is to life. No one but you.”

His bottom lip gives a wobble, hands unearthing from yours as his thumb grazes your knuckles, bringing the hand up in a searing kiss. One he looks you right in the eyes for as he says, “Can we push the beds together please?”

You bark out an unexpected laugh, fondness shaping your smile as you speak with all of your heart. “I would love nothing more.”