#please dont kill me this is a joke fic

[bedforddanes75]

thank you ao3 for WORKING. anyway i know it's uncool to write gatty but like im obsessing over these fucking fake cowboy freaks and i CANT stop and you should actually all obsess with me thank you okay here im leaving now im scared

[ameliavioletlmao]

i made a 9/11 joke fic becuase i was mad at the election

[redwinelew]

joyride | lewis hamilton

social media au. female!east asian!reader.

summary — in which the internet goes wild when the seven times formula 1 world champion co-wrote and stars in his girlfriend's music video for her comeback single after a long hiatus.

face claim — rina sawayama

song — joyride by kesha

warnings — swearing, suggestive content, one kms joke

author's note — first fic on tumblr !! pls be kind and lmk what i can improve <33

all pictures taken from pinterest. credit to owners.

instagram!

liked by arianagrande, carlossainz55 and 489,273 others

tagged lewishamilton

ynln enjoying life 💙

view all 1,059 comments

user1 "enjoying life 💙" as if u don't have an album to write like ok 🙄🙄

user2 user1 ???? she doesn't owe u anything — liked by ynln

user1 user2 omg it was a joke chill 😭😭

user3 user1 well tell that to her now we're def not getting that album

user4 HOLY SHIT MOTHER JUST POSTED

yourbff my girl is glowing!! — liked by yn

ynln yourbff 💙💙💙💙 ilysm

user5 ever since she started dating him she rarely posts anything anymore :(

user6 user5 does it matter? like she said she's enjoying life and she looks happy with him so what's the problem

user2 lewis being in this post twice oh she's so in love with him

user2 user2 god when is it my turn to be happy

user5 idec about the album anymore 😭😭 she looks so content and that's all that matters

rachelzegler the cutest!!!!

naraaziza beautiful ❤️❤️

lewishamilton when did you take the last picture i didn't even notice?

ynln lewishamilton when you were too busy staring at other girls

user6 ynln LMFAO

user7 ynln do u want me to fight him

lewishamilton ynln baby please

ynln lewishamilton 🙄🙄🙄🙄

user8 ynln GAG HIM

user8 if i was dating sir lewis hamilton i would abandon my career too

user9 user8 ikr who needs a job when your bf is a millionaire

ynln user8 nothing's abandoned babe :)

user8 ynln WAIT WHAT

user10 ynln YN WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

user11 ynln EVERYBODY STAY FUCKING CALM

user12 ynln not her teasing us 😭😭

user13 ynln not the ":)" is everything a joke to u

user14 ynln STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS PLS WE NEED THE ALBUM

user15 user14 FR IT'S BEEN 84 YEARS YNLN PLEASE 😭😭

instagram!

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tagged roscoelovescoco and ynln

lewishamilton a much needed gateaway

view all 4,927 comments

ynln 💙💙💙💙 i love u

lewishamilton ynln i love you more baby

user1 ynln lewishamilton god idk how many me and who i got left in me

user2 user1 if they ever broke up i will never believe in love again

user3 user2 the standard fr

mercedesamgf1team do u guys need a third

user4 merdecesamgf1team HELP 😭😭

user5 mercedesamgf1team ADMIN??????

user6 mercedesamgf1team admin is just like me fr

user7 mercedesamgf1team dont u guys have better things to do like idk, fix those fuck ass cars? — liked by ynln

user8 OMG ROSCOE

user9 hey sir lewis is your gf single

danielricciardo did you guys try the restaurant i suggested?

lewishamilton danielricciardo yes! the food was incredible mate thank you

user10 danielricciardo lewishamilton 344 interaction in the years of our lord 2024 this was not on my bingo card

user11 can you pls tell yn to get her ass to that studio her fans are starving 🙏🏼 — liked by lewishamilton and ynln

user12 user11 yk what else we need? a xnda comeback 🙏🏼 — liked by ynln

user13 user12 OMG YES

user11 user12 LEWIS LIKED YOUR COMMENT OH MY GOD????

user12 user11 AND YN AS WELL WHAT IS GOING ON

twitter!

instagram!

liked by livkatecooke, chappellroan and 3,837,930 others

ynln "joyride" single and mv out 11.2 co-written and featuring the one and only xnda aka lewishamilton 🧡🧡 told u guys i'm not abandoning anything ;)

view all 11,638 comments

user1 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I JUST WOKE UP

user2 YN WHAT THE HELL

user3 FINALLY

user4 QUEEN OF POP IS BACK

user5 CO-WRITTEN AND FEATURING WHO??????

lewishamilton you're fucking killing it babe 🧡

ynln lewishamilton ilysm baby thank u for agreeing to be part of this 🫶🏼🫶🏼

user7 SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING THROWING UP

user6 WE ARE SO MF BACK

rkive can't wait!

ynln rkive i love u!!

user8 rkive ynln bts x yn ln collab when

user8 she's coming for her third grammy already i can feel it

alex_albon ready to have it on repeat!

georgerussell63 let's go!

twitter!

instagram!

liked by iamhalsey, megantheestallion and 7,638,927 others

tagged ynln

lewishamilton joyride by ynln feat. xnda is out now 🧡 me and yn have always wanted to make a song together but my own insecurity halted us from releasing it. we got the idea for joyride while on our roadtrip in italy and i originally did the demo and was only supposed to co-write with yn but my lady convinced me to fully be part in this and how could i say no? thank you for believing in me, my love. i am so proud of you 🧡

view all 45,173 comments

ynln baby 🧡🧡🧡🧡 i love u so much thank you for agreeing to be part of this it means a lot to me

lewishamilton ynln anything for you sweetie 🧡

user1 lewishamilton ynln i'm gonna sleep on the highway tonight

ynln user1 pls don't do that the album is coming out in three months

user1 ynln EXFUCKINGSCUSE ME@!-!&!#;#!

user2 ynln WE'RE ACTUALLY GETTING AN ALBUM??????

ynln user1 user2 ;)

georgerussell63 banger!

lewishamilton georgerussell63 thanks mate!

user3 yn could ask lewis to jump into a volcano and he'd do it

ynln user3 don't tempt me

user3 ynln HELP

user4 we love a supportive boyfriend

user5 god i've seen what you've done to others

user6 love the bonnie and clyde theme and roscoe cameo 🙏🏼

user7 "my lady" "my love" "sweetie" god i'm so painfully single

tomcruise amazing!

maxverstappen1 i still can't believe you can sing

lewishamilton maxverstappen1 believe it

twitter!

— thanks for reading! reblogs are highly appreciated 🫶🏼🧡

[jungwonsloveblogz]

pretty please? -y.jw

genre: smut, fluff (if you squint until ur eyes are closed)

pairing: criminal!jungwon + detective!reader

warnings: accidental aphrodisiac use, p in v, unprotected sex (dont do it kids!!), creampie, kissing, cussing, petnames, mentions of crime, mentions of murd3r, begging, daddy kink (?)

featuring: park sunghoon, sim jaeyun, park jay.

wordcount: 565

authors note - hi ml’s!! sorry i havent been writing, but heres a pretty long fic for you guys! btw i know nothing about criminal stuff so pls ignore if theres any mistakes, love u guys!

MDNI 18+!!

“Inmate 214. Youre in this cell. ” says the security guard. You look over at the inmate and get a quick glance at him. Hes wearing a black leather jacket, a white button up, and black pants. “Hes cute,” you say to yourself. “Fuck! What am I thinking?” You say, “Hes a criminal!” You mumble. “Detective Kim, can you interview him?” The police officer says, pointing to the inmate. “Oh, okay.” You say, taking him to the interrogation room. “So, whats your name?” you ask. “Jungwon Yang.” He says, coldly. “Jungwon Yang.. Okay.” You say, writing it down. “So.. Why are you here?” You ask him. ���I murdered someone.” Jungwon says. “Who?” You ask. “And why?” “Are you always this nosy?” Jungwon mumbles. “I murdered him because he killed my sister.” Jungwon says. “His name is Jackson Lee.” Jungwon continues, “I hate him. He deserved it.” “Okay, so, your name is Jungwon Yang, you murdered Jackson Lee because he murdered your sister?” You question. “Yes.” Jungwon replies, coldly. Beep! You hear something on your walkie talkie.

“Inmate 214 has been bailed.” Says the police officer over the walkie talkie. “Lucky you, you’ve been bailed.” You say. “Finally, I hate this shitty place.” Jungwon says. “Okay Mr. Attitude” you mumble. You lead him out to the door. You see a man standing there, “Sunghoon.” Jungwon says. “Bro, are you fucking with me?? You got arrested again?” Sunghoon asks. “Again??” You ask, surprised. “Yea, hes been arrested!like 4 times.” Someone says. “Jake!” Sunghoon says. “Im here too bro.” Somebody else says. “Ah, Jay!” Sunghoon & Jake say. “Uhm okay..” You say. “Inmate 214, youre free to go.” You say. “Thanks, Detective…?” Jungwon says, trailing off, obviously asking for your name. “Kim. Y/N Kim.” You reply. “Ah, Y/N. Can I get your number?” Jungwon asks. “Uhm.. Sure?” You reply, giving him your number. “Thanks, bye Y/N!” He says, walking off. “Bye?…” You say.

Later, you get a text. “hey, is this y/n?” The text says. “yeah, hi jungwon.” you reply. you guys text for a while and eventually, he comes over. “Jungwon, wanna watch a movie?” You ask. “Sure, why not? Lets get snacks tho.” He replies. You guys go get snacks and Jungwon accidentally eats a aphrodisiac chocolate your friend gave you as a joke. “N-ngh..” Jungwon moans. “Jungwon, you okay?..” You ask. “Fuck, Y/N… What is this?” He asks, pointing to the chocolate. You gasp and reply “Oh my gosh, Jungwon!! Thats an aphrodisiac!!” “W-what?? How come I didnt know this!!” He asks. “Fuck, Jungwon!!” You say. “Fuck, Y/N… Please.. Help me.. F-fuck, ngh.. Please, Y/N… Pretty please?…” He begs. “F-fine” You say, taking your clothes off, seeing Jungwon following immediately. “Fuck, won.. Youre so big..” You mumble. He kisses you and pins you against the counter. You moan and kiss him back in response. “Gonna fuck you so hard, babygirl..” He says. “Y-yes, please daddy...” you moan. He slides into you, groaning at your tightness. “Fuck babygirl.. Youre so tight..” He groans. “J-jus’ for you, daddy!” You moan back. He thrusts into you at a rapid pace that has you moaning in response. “Fuck, daddy!! I’m gonna cum!” You moan. “Yeah babygirl, cum for me..” You cum as he cums inside of you. “A-ah, daddy..” You say, He pulls out of you, watching the cum drip out of you. “Youre so perfect, babygirl.” He says.

[verstppism]

Boy's Talk (About You) • Masterpost

>pairing charles leclerc x max verstappen

>genre socmed, friends to lovers, slow burn, i'll write a chapter at some point (prob the last one), fluff

>synopsis everyone has their secrets, a group chat formed by charles leclerc, pierre gasly, alex albon, lando norris and george russell knows all of them. the 'kill the grid' chat has only one purpose: gossiping about other drivers' lives, romantic and social

or, a casual chat leads to charles confessing a crush on max, who's has been his rival since childhood

>warnings obscene jokes (they get progressively worse im sorry), friends that bully each other, light mode, this fic started written right before the season ended so there's a lot of things outdated (yes this has been cooking since last year.... blame me)

>featuring charles leclerc, pierre gasly, lando norris, george russell, alex albon, max verstappen, daniel ricciardo and two original characters that appear for a chapter or so (many other drivers might be mentioned/appear throughout the story)

>status completed!

>schedule possibly every friday

>start date 2024.01.26

>end date 2024.04.12

disclaimer‼️ this is a work of fiction! nothing written here is real and should be taken seriously. all action and events are completely fictional and are here for entertaining purposes only! it does not reflect on how i see these people. also, this fanfiction is for FANDOM ONLY, please do not share this anywhere the people mentioned could see, thanks. (translates to: i dont want a lawsuit from kelly piquet)

PROFILES >

KILL the grid 🔥 gc // max & daniel // fan accounts

CHAPTERS >

. chapter 1 : caught on 4k

. chapter 2 : i'm not insane,

. chapter 3 : just a mastermind ;)

. chapter 4 : can't leave you alone

. chapter 5 : just us, our little secret

. chapter 6 : after the storm

> chapter 6.2 : ...is it over?

. chapter 7 : in my dreams you love me back

. chapter 8 : take me anywhere but home

2024 © verstappism ... don't copy, steal or repost! this took so long to do and socmed aus like these are very hard and complex to do. all credits towards events in the plot are reserved to me on tumblr.

[miguelsslvt]

miguel o'hara x cheshire cat! spider! reader drabble

word count: 580

TW: angst, fluff, literally makes no sense

A/N: basically as i'm writing a goth girl! reader smut, i was listening to the playlist 'alice by heart' and i just thought of a cheshire cat! spider! reader comforting a lost in grief miguel? i dunno, it probs dont even make sense. but maybe when i'm free next i'll write a smut fic of miguel going to wonderland to capture an anomaly and she ran into cheshire cat who offers him some 'distractions'? ;) anyways posting goth girl! reader smut soon!!! welcome to the club!! ^^

y/n l/n. alias? cheshire spider. from earth-444, also known as 'wonderland'. you were a skilled spider, but very irritating to miguel. he had allowed you into spider society purely for your good agility and strength. agility of a cat, powers of a spider. and the fact that you could disappear and reappear whenever you please was useful too.

on a day you wanted to bug and annoy miguel, you walked in at a bad time. he was looking through past images and videos of his daughter.

'..who's that?' you asked, as miguel's eyes widened in shock and anger. 'get out.' he said bluntly. 'no. who is that?' you asked. 'get out cheshire!' miguel snapped. 'no miguel i want to know who that is.' 'didn't curiosity ever kill the cat?!' 'tell me.' you snapped back. 'i'm sick to death of you cheshire! you just dk nothing but bug everyone, i'm sick to death!!' miguel yelled angrily, as you looked completely unphased. in fact, you smiled.

'looks like i hit a soft spot.' you said, smirking. you disappeared suddenly, your smiling disappearing last until it first reappeared beside the current video of miguel and his daughter playing together. '..y'know i'm actually good with grief?' you said. miguel raised an angry eyebrow at that. 'what?' he said, confused slightly. 'what, you think none of us cared when alice left us?' you said, raising an eyebrow. '..that's nothing compared to my pain.' miguel spat coldly. 'senseless, heartless. you won't ever give this girl's soul up?' you asked, tilting your head, miguel gave up arguing. he sighed, frustrated. '..my daughter. gabriella. i..i killed her.' miguel said quietly.

you looked down, nodding as you listened. '..was it a multiversal collapse?' you asked, as miguel nodded, looking down. '..some things fall away. you just have to accept them.' you said. 'how am i supposed so accept something so devastating?' miguel asked, sounding offended. '..just cry and it's a crisis. if you let your grief sink in, you'll be able to move forward. losing a loved one is incredibly hard, the mock turtles told me all about that, but you're living in shock here. your heart is cold. how can you protect the multiverse if you're so cold and distant on yourself, let alone your team-mates?' you said, raising an eyebrow.

miguel was shocked. for once, what you said made, some sort of sense. no mockery, no jokes, no riddle. did you genuinely want to help him..?

'i may not know how you feel,, but i'm sure that i can try to help you out of this rut.' you smiled softly. '..why are you so.. different?' miguel asked wearily. 'you're so mischievous, so snarky and sneaky, why?' miguel asked. 'hm.. i suppose that's how i was raised. wonderland is very different to nueva york.' you stated, sitting on his desk table.

'you mustn't grow up, you mustn't disobey the queen, you mustn't be late for tea..' you rambled, before smiling again. 'you mustn't hide within your shell of grief.' that caught miguel off guard. he let out a small chuckle.

'you're right, wonderland is very different to nueva york.' he said, looking down. you two sat in silence for a few moments, but it was.. comforting. the silence spoke thousands of words. it was a.. good silence. miguel hadn't heard of a 'good silence' in a while.

'..maybe you could come visit wonderland?' you offered, smirking. 'no way, cheshire.' miguel replied, breaking a small smile.

[straycalamities]

alright i been meaning to do this so:

what is and is not allowed to be done with any of my characters! this includes art, fics, edits, headcanons, whathaveyou

[general content/trigger warning for uncomfortable, possibly-triggering topics because this is mainly the gist of what i dont want to see]

x = never ? = ask for permission

do nots: x - no noncon (if you engage to work through your feelings, never make my characters the perpetrators, it skeeves me out) ? - no genderbends/sexswaps/whatever they're called anymore? idk just don't mess with their gender, pronouns*, or assigned-sex-at-birth as a general thing unless i already have or okayed you directly. triple-especially if they're not cis x - respect their romantic orientations/sexualities! if you don't know a character's then you can ask me, but yeah. ie: don't ship andrew with women, he's homosexual x - [NSFW] absolutely no ageplay kinks or anything like that with my characters. no raceplay. just..nothing like that. x - no pregnancy. no mpreg. no omegaverse. none of it. (i've come a long way from it being straight-up a trigger but still, yea,) i have had some of my characters naturally be pregnant/have babies but i'd rather handle it myself, if you know what i mean x - this is a duh, but nothing hateful/bigoted using my characters. like, for instance, i do joke abt shit and say mainverse!entre is a conservative but don't unironically use him for anything awful like that. joking/memeing around about his terrible political stances is fine though x - i would never write or have my characters telling anyone to "kill yourself" so please don't have them say stuff like that. even if it's a joke. it makes me uncomfortable. (there may be a few exceptions in my giant roster of ocs but as a general rule just avoid it) x - never use my ocs likenesses or art of them as art for your own ocs. that's never okay. my ocs designs are for my own characters only.

*it's okay to have neopronoun headcanons

okay! generally anything i havent said isn't okay IS okay, but just so anyone reading this has a clearer idea

it's okay to use my characters for expressing yourself, venting, or just personal stuff like that. if my characters help you through something, go ahead and express it. i'm happy they help :)

playing around with gender presentation (not gender) is perfectly okay with any of my characters

shipping in general is fine as long as it doesnt go against the don'ts list. i dont care who you ship them with

[NSFW] i'm okay with pretty much any other kinks other than anything that goes into noncon, bigotry, or underage so go wild even if it's not my thing personally i don't care. (ie: the swagtre piss fic? lol im not a watersports guy but chase your bliss)

my characters are all free game for anything horror themed as well. horror as a genre, body horror, psychological horror, whatever. go for it. i have a personal major squick for eye gore but i can handle (and enjoy) pretty much anything else in this realm. go as gorey or not as you like (just tag appropriately for other ppls sakes)

handling self-harm/suicide idealization themes is technically? okay? for my characters? just uh...be respectful i guess. and definitely tag appropriately. this theme is canon for a few of them so i am okay with it just handle it with care is what i'm saying

go ham-buck-wild with mental illness headcanons or projections or anything like that. i dont think i have an oc that doesn't have at least something, so if you see yourself in their symptoms, go for it. only some of them i have personal labels for some of their stuff but otherwise it's whatever. just be respectful, again.

kinning is also okay! kin, synpath anything like that. go ahead! go wild with it. i think it's neat. just be respectful.

and an important note to all of this, other than being respectful to others and the characters themselves, is to respect me. just because it's okay that you do it with my character, doesn't mean i have to agree with it or make it canon or anything like that. it just means i gave you permission to engage like that. so please don't come to me trying to ask or force me to change something about my own characters or get so lost in your headcanons you start to disrespect what i've established myself

and if you ever have any questions about them or any of this, just let me know. i'm always happy to help

also yet again DONT REPOST MY NSFW ART ARGHHHH!!!

[desceros]

*cartwheels into your askbox*

Hi des!!! Can I ask you some stuff from the Truth or Dare ask game? Pretty please with Donnie shaped sprinkles on top?

🍓 🥑 🥤 🍬 🔪 ???

If it's too much then just one of your choice. 🤗

Thank you lovely!!!

i was gonna say no but then i heard the sprinkles were donnie shaped and i mean. who can say no to that, am i right

skipping the ones ive already answered:

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@luckycharms1701. close proximity, check. access to a trash truck. check. know them well enough to blackmail into not talking. check. they know me well enough that i dont need to blackmail in the first place bc they know whatever bitch i killed probably had it coming. check.

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

i've loved all of blake's fics i've read, so they're top of the list for me. also literally every single thing @gbao3 posts incinerates my eyebrows clean off my face, gotta-draw-em-back-on-donnie-style levels of gone. @yorshie gets my bayverse itch scratched, and i'm a sucker for @luckycharms1701's mikey (which. hey. bestie. have you considered yandere mikey? no? go fuck myself??? wow ok.). outside of turtle stuff, @prolix-yuy is my dealer for pedro fic (which, i swear to god, im gonna finish commenting on them, im just SO swamped rn im so sorry), and @threadbaresweater hits the jjk/chainmain itch for me... i think those are really the only authors per se that i follow. as for fics, literally anything that i put in my fanfic rec tag or bookmark on ao3 is something i'm like, Hell Yeah.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

rise leo is bisexual, not gay. also everyone knows about it, there's no "omg this bitch gay i knew it," because they're all bisexual too and they all joke about how splinter, who is also bisexual, made all of them like this. except mikey who is demirom/demisexual.

[wanderingblindly]

‘Oscar’s steady hand and Lando’s sensitive disposition’ oh my god you are killing me

(also if they start hating we’ll just write the friends to enemies to lovers arc… the more complicated their relationship is the better the fics tbh😜 JOKING PLEASE MCLAREN DONT RUIN MY BOYS I BEG OF U I CANT HANDLE IT)

Oh god is my landoscar fiction writing bleeding into my genuine points about f1 teammate dynamics LMFAO that’s so brutal for me

(((Anon PLEASE consider the fluff writers I’m not strong enough to do enemies to lovers im a spineless worm you know this 😭😭😭😭)))

[oscconfessions]

hey, anon from the ask about being kinda scared of the osc. you asked me to elaborate. So, this might be long. Hopefully it's semi coherent.

One example would be the extremely intense loathing that people have for some characters. You see that in every fandom, but here there's so much of it. It's kind of draining tbh. i'll encounter so many people who have "(insert character here)'s Number 1 Hater" as their user or whatever, and they feel the need to constantly mention how they want that character to die a nasty death.

that sort of thing can be funny if it's a joke, cuz it IS just a fictional character after all, but people in the osc take it so seriously. the amount of hatred people on Pinterest specifically still have for Two is wild. and that's another thing! Even characters that have shown time and time again that they're good still have dedicated despisers who will always find new reasons to hate them. Like, it's time to move on buddy. This hate fixation cannot be healthy.

Try putting your energy into liking something for a change.

There's so much infighting here. Tacomic anyone? It all reminds me of the earlier days of toxic fandoms. Why can't people in the osc just relax about things? It's possible to have civil discussions about topics without going full on apeshitt.

Let people enjoy things, too! Good grief. III is actually pretty good when you don't have somebody constantly breathing down your neck telling you it sucks.

And the fics of like "(x) character goes insane and kills everyone lol" are so numerous. I'll see a couple of those kinda things in other fandoms, but it seems like the osc has a surplus of them. And they're very flippant in a way that's hard to take them seriously. the amount of specifically II dark fics of that variety is crazy to me. You can find one of basically every single character.

and the people who can't/chose not to separate fiction from reality. I've seen people on Twitter saying Cobs is.. you know, the thing his voice actor got fired for being. VA does not equal character. Please understand that. Literacy comprehension can be so low at times here.

and just in general, i encounter a lot of odd content in the osc that I've just not seen elsewhere. Stuff that you can tell the person didn't think twice about before putting it out there where everyone can see it. Like that cabbyyinyang noncon anon. I'll see fics in every fandom with that unfortunately, but the anon was so brazen about it. It feels like a blatant fetishization of a very dark topic. I don't encounter that in other fandoms. Not to this confident degree.

There's a specific obscure au that comes to mind, not gonna mention it cuz the person who made it is/was on Tumblr and also because it's vulgar and "creative" enough that it's honestly hard to describe without being explicit. It wasn't technically sexual but trust me when I say, holy crap, it was unnerving.

Maybe it all boils down to that osc is less emotionally mature than some other more calm fandoms, but I dont know. It seems like this community feels a lot, and they feel strongly. And don't like when other people don't feel the same way. We're definitely not the worst fandom though, not by a long shot. *shudders* the things I've seen in the Hazbin Hotel fandom....

.

[macabrecravings]

Fate Takes a Turn

Chapter 1: Abduction

Julie Crawford/Sonny Williams || Maria Flores/Danny Gaines, Ana Flores/Leland McKinney, Connie Taylor/Original Character

A/N: Today @thedrakonian18 and I released the first chapter of Fated Lover's sequel!!! :D This fic takes place within the events of the game, but it will be a diversion. Instead of being killed, Maria gets abducted.

Before Maria could swing at the giant, Sissy snatched the bat out of her hand and held her down. “PLEASE! DONT! DONT! PLEASE LET ME GOOOO!!!!!!” She screamed, tears flowing down her cheeks. Sissy’s grip was firm. For her size, she was surprisingly strong. The giant man with the chainsaw was about to end Maria’s life until the other man in the room stopped him.

“Woah, now! Hold on, boy,” He urged, holding a hand out to ease the taller man. He spoke slowly as if he was speaking to a dog.

“Johnny! What’s the meaning of this?!” Sissy snapped at him, crossing her arms. They were so close to getting dinner!

The man– Johnny, sighed briefly before chuckling. “Well, she’s a real purty one, ain’t she?” He stepped forward, walking over to Sissy and Maria. He cupped his fingers under her chin, forcing Maria to look him in the eye.

Sissy scoffed. “If we let every girl go, just cause you thought she was pretty, we would’ve starved ages ago. You ain’t gone soft now, have you?”

Johnny’s face dropped at the accusation. He let go of Maria’s face, so he could scowl in Sissy’s. “Of course, I ain’t gone fuckin’ soft. Get your head outta your ass. This girl right here? She’s different.” He grabbed a hold of Maria’s arm, hard. “Ain’t no harm in keepin’ her around, is there?”

“You’re joking.” The disbelief was clear in Sissy’s voice. She stared at him like she had no idea who he was. “Of course there’s harm in keepin’ her around. You know Drayton would kill you next if she got out. Don’t be so selfish, stop thinking with your dick and let the boy take her already.” She hissed, pulling Maria closer to her chest. The two of them were practically playing tug-of-war with her as the rope.

Read on AO3

[cookiepie11]

Playful "interrogation" (Style tickle fic)

Warnings:

This is a tickle fic (strictly sfw both characters are kids)

I am shipping Stan and style

Contains feet tickles

Some swearing (I censored them a bit :>)

"cmon Kyle, I know you have a crush, everyone at school is arguing about who it is!" Stan said to an annoyed and flustered Kyle

"I do not have a fucking crush!" Kyle yelled his voice going up a defensive tone

"Then what's with the blush? Huh" Stan teased

It was true Kyle had a big crush on someone. God knows how anyone found out but no one actually knows who it is. Kyle didn't really want his super best friend to know his crush so he was VERY embarrassed about the situation.

"shut up Stan!" Kyle said and hid his embarrassed face "quit teasing me a$Shøle I don't have a crush"

"hmm am I gonna have to make you tell me, Kyle?" Stan asked and wiggled his fingers towards his flustered friend, making Kyle's face go around 3 shades of red, darker.

Kyle felt his heart beat fast at the sight and he knew what was coming for him. He'd been tickled by Stan a ton of times and I mean he couldn't really say he disliked it.. oh what am I saying he loves been tickled by Stan but this time was different because he knew that he had something to confess.

"nohoo Stan don't" Kyle giggled backing into the corner "can we just move on from this whole thing I don't have a crush and tic-...doing that isn't going to make me feel any different.."

(Kyle can't say the t word to save his life)

"nope dude I'm not letting you get away so easy, b1tch" he teased and pounced on his red haired "friend"

"stahan nohoho this is so gahay" Kyle laughed and tried to squirm out of his crus- best friends's grip failing.

"I haven't even started yet" Stan laughed with Kyle and felt his face become warm and he hoped his blush wasn't noticeable

"JUST DOHO IT ALREADYY" Kyle yelled because he couldn't take the anpicitation (I can't spell)

"really dude? You want tickles that bad? Wow" Stan asked and started to claw at the giggling boys sides

"nohoho DUDE STOHHOP" his giggles turned into a loud boyish laughter

"hmm you gonna tell me your crush??" Stan asked but he didn't really care about that anymore he just wanted an exscuse to tickle Kyle :3

"noho dude I dohont have on- NAHAHA STAN NOT THEREE QUIT IT" he was cut off by Stan lifting up his shirt and Tickling his belly quickly

"dude tell meeee" he pleaded and tickled his ribs

"NOHOHO I DONT HAVE ONEE PLEASE STOPIT" He yelled and shook his head frantically making his hat fall off.

Kyle rarely took his hat off which Stan didn't get because his hair is so damn fluffy.

"ehehe I guess you want me to tickle right here don't you?" Stan asked and scratched his ears

"NOHOO PLEASE I CANT F#CKING TAKE ITT" he laughed and wriggled around like his life depended on it.

"just tell me your god damn crush then!" Stan said and smiled at his adorable "friend"

"NEHEVEERR! DUHUDE F#CK OFF" he cursed and forget to deny that he had a crush

"DUDE YOU DIDN'T DENY IT YOU HAVE A CRUSH!" Stan gasped and continued to tickle Kyle's bright pink ears "cmon you can tell me, I'm your best friend Kyle"

He was more genuine and less teasy when he said that last part.

"NAHAHA I HATE YOUU" Kyle yelled not really meaning it "STAHAPPP"

"ouch dude that really hurts my feelings" Stan joked "you know that was mean of you i think you deserve a punishment"

"NOHOHO IM SORRY" Kyle giggled he'd been tickled by Stan too many times to know what was coming

"too late Kyle" he teased and grabbed the extremely Flustered boy's foot and Tickling his toes

"NAHAHAHA STOP YOU ABSOLUTE A$$HOLE PLEAHEASEE?"

"don't worry I'll stop after this dude I don't wanna kill you" Stan said telling the truth

"BUT I DIDN'T TELL YOUHOU IT?"

"I don't really care who your crush is ,well maybe a little, I just wanted to tickle you lol"

"YOUHOU BAST@RD"

After a few more minutes Stan stopped leaving Kyle slightly disappointed but happy he could finnaly breath properly.

"you okay dude?" Stan asked and put his hand on Kyle's stomach (Kyle was laying down in a puddle of giggles)

"yehes, dohont touch meheh" he giggled still feeling phantom tickles on his stomach due to the light touch

"Oop sorry" Stan said and laughed a bit. He always loved seeing Kyle so giggly he found it so cute.

"I hatehe youhou" Kyle said and grabbed Stan's hand and held it.

"your litteraly holding my hand dum@ss" Stan said and laughed

"my crush.....is....you.." Kyle whispered

WOOO cliffhanger should I make a part 2?

That took alot of motivation out of me so don't expect another long fic anytime soon 😭

Tell me what y'all think maybe I'll write more south park someday

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night* we watched tng's "attached" and ds9's "necessary evil." *i am typing this at fuck o clock it will go up when im at work

attached (tng):

ok, the premise of this is basically every spirk fic ever, right...? "ooh, we accidentally have a telepathic connection and our feelings are revealed"

to get this out of the way, i like how much worf e riker e deanna was in the b-plot of this, even just circumstantially (i missed data though). i also think riker finally getting fed up with the aliens and giving them shit was really funny. riker is never mean to ANYBODY. i'm also glad he was relatively chill about picard being missing for once lol. like, in NO way were these assholes ready to enter the federation. not to agree with picard, but PART of a world can't enter. if you haven't mastered world peace you can't sit with us etc etc. not that i'm fully buying the propaganda of the federation as the ultimate good or that earth does somehow have world peace but whatever. even i know these guys weren't ready. what a fucking joke

frankly stunned this didn't lead to discussion about the affair baby wesley crusher. yes i know picard said he would never act on it. i don't care about that. i KNOW these people have had an affair baby. they're the type. he would knock her up and leave her high and dry. it's the kind of man he is. don't tell me there's no affair baby. i know what i know. there IS an affair baby!! i will die on this hill

actually, even though i dislike picard, i think sir patrick stewart is a v talented actor and i DO like him. i also really like beverly, so they managed to be charming a couple of times in this episode, mostly when they had a thought we couldn't hear and then started snickering about it

that said, i have no respect at all for jean-luc. the campfire conversation sucked. beverly was DEEPLY flattered and also in a little bit of a vulnerable position and he WAS LYING when he said he didn't feel that way anymore bc he tried to hit her up at the end of the episode. a man would have HELD HER, jean-luc. i would have held her. beverly crusher i would treat you so much better

this is insane bc i don't even have a crush on beverly. like genuinely. i only talk like this about sophie devereaux and brit marling characters. i just think it's outrageous her man doesn't treat her better. i almost had a fit when it came out he didn't like the breakfasts until beverly responded in kind also lol her saying croissant w the french accent

them getting sick when they split up was really funny. jean-luc, time to ruthlessly experience morning sickness. this is how it was after you left her high and dry post affair baby conception

the bait and switch at the end fucking killed me i love beverly making him ask and then turning him down GOOD FOR HER but i have no idea what motivated the entire thing. like, was the goal to get them together before the series ended? ok, why keep them apart? why show her pushing him through to safety at the expense of her own if she was gonna turn him down? why was she giving dtf vibes there at the end? like i was YELLING at him to go to her and then he did and she was like "actually nah." which was FUNNY and again good for her but what the fuck? i thought she wanted him. i just want her to be happy.

necessary evil (ds9):

OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDD

i knew going in that this was an odo episode but AN ODO AND KIRA EPISODE??? swoon. oh my god she was the first person to give him his little constable nickname. HURL. KILL MEEEEE

actually, odo/kira and odo/quark people were BOTH getting fed during this ep. odo like yeah idc about quark but im gonna solve this murder case w extreme prejudice. i like both so i had a great time

every single mention of odo's dehumanization in the past makes me HOMICIDAL please treat him really niceys. i would kind of like to know what the cardassian neck trick is though. just not from odo

"i dont drink" fuckin hilarious. i think odo should shapeshift himself a digestive system so he can try food. um one that can digest stuff in 16 hours i guess or it would all just fall out when he gooped again. we tossed around the idea of chewing gum, since you just spit that back out eventually. but does he even have tastebuds, or just the approximation of them? his other senses seem to work ok........

the window in this acted SO sketchy like she was fake crying at her third dead husbands funeral after she just inherited a zillion dollars but she literally was innocent. she pointed at kira and was like girl she did it and we're like NO kira's innocent! and then kira is literally not innocent but shady sketchy widow is. incredible

kira with long hair my beloved. i would hate it if she had long hair in present day but it's perfect for past kira

ds9 looks SO BAD in the past. to have children running around and playing in it now is insane. you can really feel the difference between the cardassian occupation and Now so well in this episode, it's as striking to us as it would be to kira and odo

ohhh my god kira and odo. "will you ever trust me again" he's not even mad she killed that guy just mad that she lied about it. AUGHGHGHG

but when kira did something shady it was for a good cause. when odo was being shady he was indirectly working for the fucking cardassians. "choose a side" so true but he eventually chose kira's <3

i love deeply that he didn't try to fuck her. like it genuinely didn't even occur to him. ace king.

40s mystery style of this was so fun. odo narration is so funny bc like he doesnt wanna do it and his log is just one sentence bc he thinks its fucking stupid and then by the end of the ep hes like man am i supposed to be usign this thing as a diary?? girl dont worry about it james t kirk did the same fucking thing

final note: rom in this episode was amazing. i've never really given him more than a passing thought before this but him secretly being a fucking amazing thief was truly fantastic. sisko and odo good cop bad copping him was really funny too especially when you remember his son and sisko's son are besties. i would still rank the ferengi as my least favorite ds9 characters but i was pleasantly surprised with how often i laughed

TONIGHT: tng's "forces of nature" which sounds like. its gonna make me mad lol

[ellecdc]

y’all get ready this about to be the new declaration of independence

okay number one DRINK SNOB

THEY ARE SO FUCKING IMPORTANT TO MEEEEEE I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREWWEWEEEHEIDHDJ WHY ARENT THEY REALLLL

hope lupin the woman you are. i’m actually gonna pass out. i so see reader and hope getting along so well it makes rem fucking dizzy cuz like, oh the woman of his dreams and his precious mom are besties? someone dig his grave already

ugh our snob is gonna be so happy she has a family and people around her BUT THE ANGST ONCE SHE TRUELY FINDS OUT THE DANGER REM IS MEDDLING IN??? DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE

number 2 poly wolfstar

are you done. are you okay? do we need to sign you in to the mental hospital? what’s with the angst? why are you doing this to me?

(i secretly want more angst LOL WHAT IF HER INSECURITIES WERE ACTUALLY TRUE LFMOAOA kill me)

WHY IS EVERYTHING U WRITE SO TRAGIC?? STOP WHO HURT MY WIFE???

ALSO CAN I PLEASE HAVE 2 HOT DOTTING BOYFRIENDS WHO RUN AFTER ME PLEASE?? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???

number 3

YOU my darling wife ARE TURNING ME INTO A REGGIE GIRL STOP. I CANNOT DABBLE AND FALL FARTHER INTO THE MARAUDERS WHOLE I WILL NET GET BACK UP they’re so lovely :((( reggie is everything to me stop it rn

i’m gonna binge the rest of ur reggie fics now.

i feel like i’m missing things hold on ILL BE BACK

😭😭😭😭

1) I would die for hope lupin, no questions asked. She is going to be so important to the reader like it’s going to hurt a little almost.

And yes, it’s going to cause major issues for our boy Rem when those two gang up together hahaha

2) also I hate writing angst (that’s a lie. I hate JUST writing angst - I need happy endings or hurt/comfort or I refuse to read it or write it - not even joking I WILL NOT READ books or fics with sad endings.) but these hoes (affectionately) keep asking for angst??? What am I supposed to do? NOT give them what they want??? Mother delivers, babes.

3) I’m sorry re: Reggie that poor tragic boy 😭😭😭 he deserves you frostooo, give the boy what he wants 🥹🥹🥹 (also my phone now autocorrects your username automatically lmfao it knows my wifey)

CANT WAIT TO CHAT AGAIN SOON IVE MISSED YOU MEVER BE AWAY FROM ME THAT LOMG AGAIN PLSSS

[amourcheol]

before i reblog, i want to give you ALL the flowers in the world. i just finished reading the monster of a fic called the great war and YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. there are no words that can amount to how much i adore this fic. i love lengthy word counts done right (god knows how much long fics i got excited over before them being disappointing or boring as a reader) and i, most importantly, love enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, historical aus done right !!

lets get this out of the way first GRRR WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK SNARK GRERR RAHH HOWL BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF GENERAL SEUNGCHEOL VICTOR OF VENICE I NEED ABYSMALLY.

okay. now that i can safely get that out of my system, LOVE LOVE LOVEEE everything about this fic. theres something so sweet abt men being written unrealistically (aka respectful and honorable whattt??? out of this world tbh) im joking ,, but i did absolutely love how you made cheol so strongly standing for his wife. the slow burn that really did the tag justice (it BURNT), the ENEMIES TO LOVERS DONE RIGHT!?! LIKE YESSS !!! they actually did want to kill each other and the yelling and arguing leading up to the first kissing scene CHEFS KISS like that's literally the epitome of writing, like is it really an e2l if there isn't a intensely written argument before the first sign of intimacy!?!?

throughout reading this story, all i could think abt was how could i ever put into the words the justice you served. allowing reader to be a strong character yet so eloquently bringing to light the struggles she would still face from just being a woman, to seungcheol using his power to stand FOR her. an honorary mention of the "Careful." he would reply to the Councillor after the panicking scene from the Florence mention INCREDIBLE!! it gave everything and more!! the character development from both sides, venus and mars foreshadowing, the subtleties that only slow burn could provide. i genuinely wish i could give a way better review than this but unfortunately im still speechless due to how beautiful this story was so just pls take this dreary review and understand that im so so in love and i adore you so much for the amount of work you put out into this, from the visuals and the descriptions, the perfect build up, the amazing writing of e2l and reflections– just EVERYTHING. you created a masterpiece <3

brb literally pulling my hair out till I got scraps left .

IMNSORRY ):£3!3!3 IM GONAN SVREAM SHIT CRY ?:£3!3!3 THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER ):&:!3! 😭😭😭😭😭 First of all UR SO RIGHT … I never find huge fics anywhere and if I do they’re just …: YAWN ‼️‼️ I’m so glad u love those tropes they’re my BIGGEST guilty pleasures 😭 tho I can’t even lie I don’t feel guilty at ALL for historical! Aus

FUCKCJFKDDJD STOP I SVREAMED can u tell that cheol as a military general haunts me at night … I fear I am able to write another 40k for him ..: but ur so right tho my biggest biggest swoon moments come from men dying and sacrificing themselves for their lovers and I just !!! Seungcheol would absolutely die for his wife and this information jumps me in my sleep paralysis FR .. I’m so so happy u agree w me about the hatred I NEED HATRED FOR E2L OR ITS NOT E2L !! and PLS another guilty pleasure is screaming in each others faces before eating each other up … i will not be held accountable …

STOP I COULD CRY ??? thank u for appreciating the little bits of the fic 😭😭💖 that scene was incredibly hard to write and I’m glad people like it so much !! PLEASE DONT WVEN APOLOGISE ??? This is more than I could ever ask for you are truly so kind 😞💖💖 thank you for taking the time to read and send this unbelievably sweet message may or may not be thinking about this for the next 700 business days 😍😍💖

[chronic-ghost]

Hello 👋🏻

Hi ! I hope I'm not bothering you. Just wanted to pop into your ask box and tell you that I really enjoy reading your fics! I've been a fan of pedro pascal for some time now and I really really love reading your take!! Esp on Javi in liar liar! It was really funny and you made me laugh so much! Thank you so much for writing and sharing !! I really hope you write more soon! I can't wait to read 🖤

I saw you shared an ask game?? I had some questions? if you don't mind answering that is because I know its been some time since you posted it? Feel free to ignore it if you want.

15 16 29 34 39 41 and finally 69 for Liar Liar

Sorry if they're a lot you dont have to answer all of them! I just couldn't resist.

I love your work ! Hope you have a great day! 🖤

okay so i had to take a minute to read this and reread it and reread it again. You are absolutely NOT bothering me -- I read this after a particularly humbling day at work, and wow, I thought about it the rest of the day. Thank you SO MUCH for reading my work! I am so touched that you are a seasoned pp reader and you find my take unique! It's hard out here for a fic writer so messages like this truly make all the frustration and head-banging that comes with writing really worth it. 💗 you are so sweet and i hope there are good things for you to look forward to!

As for the ask game, I am more than happy to play! :) And if you'd like, you don't have to wait for those games to come around if you have a question about a fic or would like an update! My ask box is always open! Here's your questions:

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Probably the mornings. I like the mornings the best in general and there's nothing better than starting the day with a good writing flow!

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

oh man, laptop every single time. I write notes or ideas to myself on my phone when I'm in bed and the brain waves are pulsing, but I could never write long form on anything but my computer. I know writers who write everything down first AND THEN type them -- to me that is like god tier writing process. I am a weak, weak woman.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

When I make people laugh. Call it my "fawning" instincts, but I always try and make people laugh in different social situations -- to varying degrees of success. So when people laugh at my dumb jokes in fic, I'm really pleased with myself!

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

😬 oof y'all are gonna be able to spot my kinks after this. But honestly, it depends on which fandom/situation I'm writing for. I wrote a Midnight Mass fic that was very, very personal to my experiences growing up in Texas around Catholics. On the other hand, I don't have the guts to be, uh, so public as the reader in 'blood makes noise'. I think most of my reader characters are a mix of myself and who I want to be.

39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

(oh, honey, they all are) i think it's a tie between (working title) Living Dead Girl, where reader becomes Max's blood donor and (working title) Riders of the Purple Sapir, where Din and reader go on a quest for vengeance against the men who killed her father. The cowboy goth in me is REAL excited about both of those.

41. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

Max is quickly becoming the little bug in my ear about most things. He has such a distinctive personality from other Pedro boys, I love it so much. All his little faces kill me.

But I've said this to a friend -- i think half the fun writing for the pedro boys is coming up with a reader character that perfectly meshes with them. What personality traits would drive them up the goddamn walls? What do they need to feel fulfilled in a partner? So if "reader" can count as a character, I really liked the reader in Go Ahead, I Dare Ya and Recovery Road. Just as insane as their counterparts.

69. What are your favorite fics at the moment?

YES YES YES i get to GUSH about the fics that have me gnawing at my cage bars:

Psychomanteum by @whatsnewalycat is literally everything I want in a fic. perfect extensions of the characters from the source media. new problems for them that make you see more facets of their personalities. so.must.fantastic.smut it makes me want to scream. the angst and the grief and the literal haunting of a dead spouse - or a spouse that you lost but maybe didn't ever actually have adsfaksldjf GHOSTS I LOVE GHOSTS. i cannot recommend this fic enough. i am on my hands and knees begging people to read it.

This one isn't pedro specific, but @astroboots's Every Me Every You is like my kryptonite. Every new chapter hits me in a place that I didn't know could hurt while being such a fun throw back to the good ol' days of the MCU. i feel like it's written specifically for those of us who were on tumblr during the 2012 avengers take over. Good times.

For just the sweetest, gentlest Dieter Bravo, please consider @stardustandskycrystals 's Curls. I stumbled across it one night before bed and I was up until like 2AM to finish it. It's adorable and I just need them all to be okay forever and happy and little Charlie is basically my child at this point. Oof!

*takes you by the shoulders* if you even remotely like Prospect or the sci fi genre, I am BEGGING YOU to read Compulsion by @iamskyereads. Like. Like. I cannot formulate words to express how fantastic this piece of fiction is. I want to leave detailed, thoughtful comments but my mind just goes blank after reading it. Her work is truly a staggering piece of world-building and character development. I cannot believe this art is just free for me to consume. i am . . . undone by how good it is. (you should also read her Lie To Me series, insanely good too)

I KNOW i'm missing some so if I forgot yours I am SO SORRY FOR BEING AN IDIOT.

This response ended up being way longer than intended but I hope this show how much messages like these matter to me. Thank you again for reading and I hope my future fics don't disappoint you!