#please dont block me im normal i swear i swear i swear
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the latest spoke video possessed me for a bit . i also had a rough day today resulting in me writing this unreadable ramble about him on my textbook . talking about ls is literally my coping mechanism......... you might die reading this you have been warned. all the "spoke" in this refer to c!spoke btw
i have s ome very brief and short and concisely worded opinions on the new spoke video ! i want this to be some kinda character study but im not mentally capable enough to do that rn. my favourite part of spoke is his like. personality in general especially how he thinks and how he works to achieve his goals if i dont get it out of my system RIGHT NOW i will explode .
is spoke evil? well in my humble opinion his actions do come from what he thinks are correct / the right thing to do. most notably "to bring peace to lifesteal" at the end of season three. i genuinely dont think this is a lie or a smokescreen to hide his evil intentions etc. but like how bringing peace to lifesteal literally meant to kill everyone permanently, it does seem that he takes quite the radical route to do stuff every time, which caused real harm and destruction. i dont think that gets discussed enough
wiping out the entire server for peace ? whatever ill let that slide. sure . exploiting and taking advantage of the last bit of sympathy and kindness in lifesteal players by staging a fake spawn trap as bait to trick apo members wanting to rescue terry into talking? uhhhhh whatever sure. ok yea. "you can kill him if you want . you can start killing them if you want (o^^o)" blatantly saying that with a smile? "in parrots eyes this is a friendship reunited [...] however this is only one step of my true master plan."??????okay you need to be put in a padded cell immediately. actually that might be to humane you should be put on a remote island as far as possible from land . but you also did nothing wrong innocent lil dude whos just a bit silly. i think you should be put in human society and be allowed to do whatever you want
in conclusion i despise you spoke from spokeishere and i love you . i want to hug you then scream in your ears at the top of my lungs when you least expect. your awful you're evil and you're innocent and you're awesome. you treat trust from others like its nothing. you exploit other people s kindness . you always do things for the greater good. and you're spokeishere (i think thats what his name is i dont watch him that much)
in conclusion of the conclusion. did he really have to all that do achieve his goals that apparently are actually very good and good for the sever? are his goals really that honourable anymore when achieving them comes with such a hefty price tag and death toll? what if in a future event his goals aren't the morally correct thing to do in the first place, then with a passion for working towards his ideals as strong as his, wouldn't mean that he is the ultimate bad person? is he a bad guy anyway ??????my answer to that will be a resounding: "uh idk"
spoke never did anything wrong btw. aldo does anyone else think spoke sounds like hes 7 years old sometimes. not his sentences his voice, he
(the gibberish ends there)
#lifesteal#spokeishere#this is definitely enough to constitute as a diagnosis for some kind of mental illness#no actual way being this. normal ! about block lego people and their lego swords#please dont block me im normal i swear i swear i swear#what does any of this mean
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episode four: the sauna test
Steve pushes at Dustin’s feet to help him move further, but he’s quickly berated. “Not my feet, dumbass. Push my ass!” “What?” You and Steve exclaim at the same time. “Touch my butt, I don’t care!” Dustin’s screeching voice is muffled from the walls of the vent. Looking at you one last time, Steve sighs heavily and places his hands on your brother’s butt and starts to shove him deeper into the air duct. He can’t believe he’s doing this right now, shoving the butt of the brother of the girl he’s in love with. You stand next to Robin, mortified of what you’re currently witnessing, endlessly ashamed of the two boys.
Summary: dustin has some brotherly concern for you (dont tell anyone though), steve is offended you dont think he can fight, nancy gets upset during therapy hour, robin encourages child endangerment, erica becomes your hero, and you lose your lunch on hawkins makeshift tower of terror (aka sketchy russian elevators)
Rating: general, swearing
Warnings: swearing, use of y/n, fem!reader
Words: 7.5k
Before you swing in: hello my loves ! had a busy may wrapping up finals, move out, and adjusting back to life at home. i finally had the time to write this, and while im still iffy with some parts, im just excited to finally be at the elevator scene tbh. ive been DYING to write her. enjoy !!
-
Dustin stands outside your room the next morning, fist hovering over the door, unsure if he should knock. It’s early and he can’t get the panic he saw in your eyes last night out of his head. He hasn’t seen you that consumed with anxiety since you guys were kids and your parents began to fight.
He feels horrible for putting you in that position last night, at odds with him, Robin, and Steve.
Especially Steve.
Dustin hadn’t meant to start a fight between you and the teen. Contrary to popular belief, he actually does want the two of you together, but now he’s worried he’s somehow caused a rift in your relationship.
Sighing, your brother allows his knuckles to rap against your door. When he doesn’t hear anything, he slowly opens it and pokes his head in. You’re asleep in your bed, blankets strewn everywhere, and Dustin knows he’s fucked up because you almost never sleep in this late.
Now he’s worried he’s going to have to force you into a code blue.
Dustin lets himself into your room and stands before your bed. Then, because he’s your brother and finds it hard to express his worries for you in a normal way, he pokes your cheek with his finger. “Wake up.”
You stir at the touch but remain asleep. Dustin groans and starts repeatedly poking you. “Dude, get up.” He now starts poking your nose, your forehead and eyebrows, anywhere his finger can reach.
Finally the onslaught of pokes to your face is enough to wake you up. You raise your hand and slap Dustin away as you scrunch your face in displeasure. “Why do you always insist on waking me up this way?”
“It’s fun for me.”
You slap at your brother again and take a moment to stretch. Your body is exhausted, you got home late last night after your drive with Jonathan. Once the two of you had been done discussing your relationship problems, you both decided to just drive around Hawkins and simmer in your limited time together. For those few hours, only the two of you existed.
Yawning, you blink your eyes open at Dustin. “Is there a reason you’re waking me up before my alarm is supposed to go off?”
Dustin’s smug smile falls. He coughs and starts to fidget with his fingers. “Oh, I was just–well. Last night… Do you wanna talk about it?”
The implications of your brother’s words cause you to fully wake up. “Is this your poor attempt at commencing a code blue?”
“Well, do we need a code blue?”
You roll over and throw your blankets over your head, blocking out the world. “I already talked about my feelings last night with Jonathan, please give me at least twenty-four hours to recover.”
Dustin flicks your ear that pokes out from under the blankets at the mention of Jonathan. “Why were you with that guy last night?”
“Stop touching my face!” You yell at the kid, annoyed. “And because he’s my best friend. We both had shitty nights so we drove around and cried together.”
Your brother pauses. “Did you actually cry together?”
“No,” you now uncover your face and sigh. “Only I cried, but it was therapeutic nonetheless.”
Dustin drops his head, remembering how upset you’d been standing in the hallway last night with the others. “I’m sorry about last night, Y/N.”
“Hey, no.” You sit up now and force him to look at you. “No apologizing. I understand.”
Your friends have all gone their separate ways this summer and I know you’re so fixated on the Russians because you’re lonely. I understand, and I’m here for you.
It goes unsaid, but Dustin knows that you have him all figured out, though it doesn’t ease the guilt he feels for dragging you into all of this in the first place. “You don’t have to join me at Scoops today, Y/N.”
“I know, but I will anyway after my shift.” I have to keep you safe.
“We both know you’re only going to make sure I don’t burn the place down.” You worry too much.
“Oh, don’t think I won’t call Steve once this conversation is done to make sure he keeps an eye on you.” I know, but it’s my job and I love you.
“You’re the worst.” I love you, too.
You ruffle Dustin’s hair with a fond smile. It’s an intricate thing, the hidden language that can only be found between siblings. All that goes unsaid becomes masked behind teasing and taunts, but you both hear what’s underneath.
When Dustin leaves your room to go to the mall, you roll over in bed and reach for the phone that rests on top of your desk. Your fingers press the numbers that have become ingrained within your brain from countless nights of dialing. The line rings only one time before Steve’s tired voice answers.
“Hello?”
You smile hearing his voice, despite the distance that seems to have now formed between you. “Hi, honey.”
There’s rustling on the other end of the line and you know Steve still lays in his own bed only ten minutes from your own. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine,” you quickly reassure him, wincing when you realize you don’t normally call him so early. “Sorry, I was just calling to ask if you’d keep an eye on Dustin today? With the Russians and everything, I have work today and can’t be there–”
“Of course I’ll keep an eye on your brother, Y/N.” Steve gently interrupts your anxious rambling.
“Thank you,” you say softly with a laugh, embarrassed.
“Are we…” Steve hesitates, unsure how to find the right words. “Are we okay? I know things were–uh, weird. Last night. And that I was a dick and I just, I’m really sorry, Y/N. For everything.”
You close your eyes and exhale slowly, knowing that there’s more that Steve wants to say but is too afraid to tell you. Too ashamed to say that he’s embarrassed as well for allowing his pride to cloud his judgment, and you’re too exhausted to try and remind him again that you love him despite it all. “We’re okay, Steve. I promise.”
He takes a moment to respond, he doesn’t know what else to say. He’s never been good at this. Finally, he settles on what he’s able to give you. It seems that’s all he’s been able to do lately. “I’ll miss you today, angel.”
“I’ll miss you too, honey.” The name slips from your tongue in a languid manner, the warmth that accompanies the word still wraps itself around your body and reminds you of the love you feel for the boy. You hope he can feel the warmth too, you hope it descends down the landline and wraps around him as well. “I’ll see you after work.”
–
Your day only gets worse from there.
After only an hour or so of sadly sorting through books at work without a customer in sight, you hear a frail scream come from Mrs. Waters’ office. You run towards the woman in a heartbeat, panic stricken and afraid of what you’ll find.
Mrs. Waters is sitting tiredly in her office with her head in her hands when you run in. The usually upbeat woman is hunched over with despair and you’re quick to rush over to her with worry. “Mrs. Waters, is everything okay?”
She rubs at her temples and it’s then that you realize her telephone is in her hand. Without bothering to look, she clumsily places it back on the wall and looks up at you with sad, tired eyes. “I’m fine, dear. I–I just had a fright, that’s all.”
“What happened?” You pull a chair to sit next to the woman and grab her wrinkled, yet soft, hands.
“Oh, I’m old.” Mrs. Waters smiles at you sadly. There are tears in her eyes as she takes a deep breath to try and steady her nerves. “My, you would think I’d be used to phone calls from the hospital.”
“The hospital?”
Hearing the panic in your voice, your boss grabs the hands you have placed on top of her’s and squeezes with reassurance. “It wasn’t for me, dear.”
You’re still anxious for the woman in front of you. “Who then?”
“They called me for an old friend,” Mrs. Waters clutches at her chest with a certain fear that you’ve never seen within the woman. “She’s in the hospital because some young journalist found her eating fertilizer in her home last night. She’s always been… troubled.”
You gasp and pull away from your boss and your mind reels with this new information. Jonathan’s voice echoes within the walls of your mind, of his story of the woman he and Nancy had found last night after investigating the rats.
Mrs. Waters frowns at your unexpected reaction and notices the fear on your face. “Dear, I’m sure my friend will be alright–”
“What…” your voice shakes, and you clear your throat. “What’s your friend’s name, Mrs. Waters?”
The old woman sighs, sensing there’s something more to your worry, but her heart hurts for her friend and she’s seen more in her almost seventy years than she’s ever wanted to. “Her name is Doris Driscoll.”
–
You’re sent home early after your conversation with Mrs. Waters. She had been too worried for her friend and saw how shaken up by it you seemed to be as well, so she patted your arm and dismissed you.
“There’s no point keeping the store open today, Y/N. Go home to that cute boy of yours while I go visit an old friend.”
You had tried arguing with her, but even you knew it was no use.
Biking to Starcourt, now more than ever worried about your job, you feel your birthday looming over you and the worries of Nancy’s involvement with rats and old women eating fertilizer mixed with Jonathan’s fears.
This was supposed to be a good summer.
Your head spins as you walk into the backdoor of Scoops Ahoy, finding Robin, Steve, and Dustin all circled around the table as they discuss how to enter the Russian storage room.
“What? I sneak up behind, knock him out, and I take his keycard.” Steve is explaining when you walk in. He has his leg propped against the seat next to him as he twirls his sailor’s hat in his hand. “It’s easy.”
“Did you not hear the part about the massive gun?” Dustin blinks at the teen, having little faith in his confidence.
You make your way towards the group and lift Steve’s propped leg up so that you can sit before placing the leg across your lap. Feeling your touch, he looks up with surprise to see you, having expected your shift to end later in the day. “Y/N?”
“You’re not going near any Russian men with guns, Steve.” You say to him in lieu of a greeting.
Steve deflates in his seat. “That’s why I’d be sneaking.”
Dustin shares a look with you, the two of you remembering all the times Steve has tried, and failed, to win a fight. Clearing his throat, your brother crosses his arms and winks at you before turning to the teen. “Alright, please tell us this, and be honest. Have you ever actually… won a fight?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “Okay, that was one time–”
“Twice, honey.” You interrupt him with a smile, enjoying this conversation maybe a little too much. “Jonathan, remember him?”
“Listen, that doesn’t count.”
“Oh, but it does.” You pinch Steve’s shin. “He kicked your ass, I was there.”
He winces and moves his legs off of you. “He didn’t kick my ass–”
“You got a fat lip, crooked nose, swollen eye.” Dustin adds on, leaning against your chair now as the two of you gang up on Steve.
“He even pinned you at one point. I distinctly remember thinking he was going to kill you.” You say, smirking.
Steve scoffs. “Oh, you did not have any concern for me then–”
You hit his shoulder. “Yes I did! I’ve always been worried about you–”
“Can you guys not make everything about your weird relationship for like, three seconds, please?” Dustin whines as you and Steve start to bicker about something else entirely.
As the three of you argue, Robin seems to get an idea and runs out of the room. Noticing her sudden absence, you turn to Steve and frown. “What’s Robin up to?”
He stands up and sees her snatching money from the tip jar before running off. Steve calls after her, but she doesn’t slow down as she runs out of the shop. “What are you doing?”
“I need cash!” She says, as if that explains everything.
“Isn’t half of the tip money Steve’s?” You ask, now standing next to him by the register alongside Dustin.
“I’ll pay your boyfriend back later, Y/N.” Robin continues to walk towards the shop’s exit. “I’m going to find us a way into that room, a safe way, just like I promised you.”
You’re oddly touched that she remembered your insistence on keeping everyone safe. With a smile, you call across to her, “thank you!”
Robin blushes and forces herself to look away from you so that she can direct her attention to Steve. “In the meantime, sling ice cream, behave, and don’t get beat up. I’ll be back in a jiff!”
As you and Steve watch Robin leave, the two of you turn and catch Dustin licking at one of the ice cream scoops. You whack him with the back of your hand and cringe at him. “Dude, what the hell?”
Dustin flinches away from you as Steve snatches the scoop from the boy with his own disgusted look. “Not my scooper, man.”
“Why are you like this?” You ask your brother with disappointment in your voice, to which he huffs at.
“I’m a curious person.” You scoff at Dustin and he rolls his eyes at you before making his way out from behind the ice cream counter. “If I’m going to be judged, then I’m going to the arcade while we wait for whatever Robin has planned.”
He’s gone without another word, leaving you alone with Steve.
It’s still early in the day and there’s only a few customers in Scoops Ahoy, so it’s just you and Steve. It’s the first time you’ve been alone together since last night, when you’d been standing in front of him, begging him to listen to you, and all he could do was watch you silently with pain in his own eyes.
As if coming to this realization himself, Steve coughs and rocks back and forth awkwardly. He knows you told him this morning that everything was okay between you two, but things still feel off. Despite your best efforts, he can tell that you’re still struggling to seem okay with the whole Russian debacle. You’re still frail looking, unsure and anxious, and Steve hates that he’s the reason why.
Hesitantly, he reaches for your hand. “Care to, uh. Join me in the backroom?”
You raise your eyebrows at his question. “Are you propositioning me, Harrington?”
“No!” His eyes widen in fear and his voice squeaks, which only embarasses him more. He clears his throat and tries to swallow down his dread. “I mean, not like that. I figured we could, you know… talk.”
Now it’s your turn to fill with dread. He’s seen through you, despite your best efforts to try and appease everyone. Squeezing his hand, you nod at Steve and allow him to guide you into the backroom.
Steve pulls a chair out from the table and sits down, and before you can process what’s happening, he pulls you down and into his lap. You throw your arms around his neck to steady yourself at the sudden movement, which only makes Steve’s proud smile widen. “You planned that, didn’t you?”
“Sure did, angel.”
You laugh and shake your head at him, tightening your arms around his neck and settling into his lap. He rests his hands on your thighs and stares at you with such warmth, such patience, content to simply have you here with him. Despite the uncertainty that seems to now loom over the two of you, there’s still a certainty within it. There’s still a trust that accompanies the hesitancy, and it’s this trust that caresses your cheek and coaxes you to speak.
“I don’t like what we’re doing, Steve.” You confess to him, making your words as plain as possible so that nothing gets misconstrued; too often your words have gotten lost in translation.
Steve nods slightly, his eyes never leave yours, and he listens. “I get that, I do, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel bad about standing your ground. It’s just… I wanted to go along with Dustin, pretend for a few days that I’m not some moron who couldn’t get into college, you know?”
“You’re not an idiot,” you fix a piece of Steve’s hair that has fallen out of his sailor’s hat and sigh. “But there’s more to this than just my stupid need to protect everyone.”
“Did something else happen?”
You hesitate, unsure if what’s been on your mind holds any real weight, or if you’re just being paranoid now after everything you’ve been through these last few years. Biting your lip, you decide that it’s Steve you’re telling this to. Paranoid or not, he’ll listen and try to help you piece it all together as well. He always does. “A few days ago I saw Billy stumbling on the side of the road. He was… bleeding.”
Steve’s eyes harden at the teen’s name and instinctively his grip on you tightens. “Did he do anything to you?”
“No,” you breathe out sharply, remembering how disoriented Billy had been. He was in no condition to cause you any harm, which in itself frightened you. “There was something off about him, Steve. I–I can’t explain it, but a day before I saw Billy, I had been with Will and he was almost similar to Billy, I guess? He just–he was frozen, staring off into space, until I got his attention again.”
“Why do I feel like there’s something else you’re not telling me?”
You sigh. “Because there is. There’s always something else in the fucking town.” Anger begins to rise within you and you force yourself to swallow it down. Now isn’t the time for the anger that always simmers just below the surface, waiting. “I talked to Jonathan last night. He’s been with Nancy investigating rabid rats and an old woman who was caught eating her fertilizer.”
“Christ,” Steve exhales with bewilderment.
“And now Russians in Hawkins? What are the odds of this all happening within the same week?”
“Do you…” Looking around, Steve lowers his voice. “Do you think it’s happening again?”
“I don’t think so, El told us she closed the gate, but… I can’t explain any of this, either.” You feel helpless, and you hate it. There’s something you’re missing, there’s something connecting it all, and yet you’re going in circles.
It all can’t just be a coincidence, and it’s a horrible, maddening feeling.
And Steve tries to absolve you from it. “We’ll figure it out, together. You and me, even if you want to kill me by the time we’re done, I promise you that I’ll help you–” The phone starts to ring, cutting Steve off, and he sighs. Patting your thighs, he silently asks you to get up so that he can answer it.
Lazily walking over to the ringing phone, Steve picks it up with slight annoyance. “Scoops Ahoy, this is Steve.” There’s a feminine voice on the other line, which he frowns at, before handing the phone to you. “It’s for you?”
Surprised, you stand up and take the phone, unsure who would be calling for you at the ice cream shop. “Hello?”
“Y/N, it’s me. Um, hi.”
“Nancy?”
“I–uh, I called your job and this older lady told me you’d be at Scoops Ahoy? I needed someone to talk to, and I–I just,” She clears her throat, and it’s only now that you notice the exhaustion in her voice and how thick it sounds from dried up tears. “You know what? This is weird, I shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry–”
“Hey, no.” You fumble with the telephone cord and desperately wish you were with Nancy right now. After what Jonathan told you last night, you feel horrible for the girl, and from the sound of it, she needs someone there for her right now. “Talk to me, Nance. What happened?”
You hear her inhale a shaky breath, always the first to try and disguise any upset and hurt she may be feeling for the sake of others. She takes another deep breath, exhales slowly, and then begins to talk. “Jonathan and I had a fight.”
She tells you everything, from Mrs. Driscoll and the rats to Tom firing them for falsely identifying as reporters. It’s everything Jonathan told you last night, all his worst fears come true, except Nancy also tells you what he told her this morning. How condescending he had been, how he had reminded her of how poor he is, how he belittled her need to figure everything out herself.
“He kept defending all those assholes, Y/N.” More tears lace within Nancy’s voice. “He wouldn’t listen to me. He just kept repeating over and over again about how he needed the job, as if it wasn’t the single more humiliating thing I’ve ever had to endure.”
There’s so much you want to say, but you’re afraid it will only come out wrong. “I can’t imagine what you had to go through, Nance. I know those men were horrible to you, but you understand where Jonathan is coming from, right?”
“I mean, I thought I did, but,” she sniffs, her voice is soft and defeated. “I’m not so sure anymore. It feels like we can’t understand each other, like we’re physically incapable of seeing eye to eye. I know he has to provide for his family, I–I love that he takes care of them, that he always does what’s right, and yet it infuriates me sometimes.”
You can’t help but chuckle at what Nancy has said. She sounds so much like Jonathan in this moment, reminiscent of him telling you that her ambition is what he loves about her, and here she is saying his integrity is what she loves about him. “God, you two and your pride; you sound just like Jonathan. He said practically the same thing about you last night–”
“Jonathan talked to you about this?” Nancy’s voice becomes cold, defensive, and you know you’ve just said the wrong thing.
“Well, I mean,” you frantically try to alleviate the situation. “He only wanted advice, that’s all.”
Nancy scoffs, and you feel your heart drop. “So he can tell you all about how he feels, but bottles it up when it comes to his girlfriend?”
Well, fuck.
“He was scared and overwhelmed.” You try to keep your voice neutral, not wanting the girl to assume you’re on anyone’s side. “It’s a difficult situation, and he came to me for help just like you are right now.”
Jealousy claws at Nancy suddenly, it clashes against the hurt within her. Jonathan went to you, as he’s always done, he sought solace in you for the emotions within him that he still has yet to share with her. It reminds her, then, just how little she knows about him still. How many years stretch between you and Nancy when it comes to Jonathan.
“I’m sure you know all about how he feels,” she says bitterly, unable to stop herself. “The two of you understand one another.”
You sense that there’s something important with what she’s just said. The words were said with a history behind them, an insecurity that you cannot compensate for, and you feel defenseless against Nancy. “He was hurt, and so are you–”
“God, I should’ve known you’d take his side! I mean, you two always do this. I’m such an idiot.”
Panic begins to surround you. “Nancy, I’m not taking anyone’s side, just please listen to me–”
The line goes dead as Nancy hangs up.
Numb, you place the phone back on the wall and stare blankly at it. The pressure of tears presses against your eyes and you try to steady your breathing. You’ve hurt Nancy, you’ve caused a rift between you that threatens to collapse into a chasm, and you don’t know what to do.
Steve sees that you’re fighting back tears and he tugs you against his chest. His embrace soothes you, but when he asks what happened, all you can do is shake your head, too overwhelmed to speak. There’s too much to explain, a history between you and Jonathan that you know Steve accepts, and yet now you’re terrified you’ll somehow hurt him like you’ve hurt Nancy.
“I’m sorry, angel.”
Neither of you are sure what Steve is apologizing for, but it’s enough for now.
So much for an easy summer.
–
“It is fascinating what twenty bucks will get you at the County Recorder’s Office.” Robin places a giant sheet of paper onto the table. On it are lines and shapes all drawn in blue with an intricate layout. You lean in close to inspect it as Robin continues explaining. “Starcourt Mall, the complete blueprints.”
Dustin praises her idea and you hesitantly agree; you would’ve never thought of asking for the mall’s blueprints. “You’ve got my attention.”
She smiles and starts to explain her plan. “This is us, Scoops,” her fingers trace over the paper as she guides you and the boys through the blueprint. “And this is where we want to get.”
“I don’t really see a way in.” Steve points out, now sitting at the table with an arm wrapped around you.
“There’s not,” Robin casts the top blueprint aside and reveals another one underneath. It’s similar in design, although this one lacks more shapes and is mostly lines. “If you’re talking exclusively about doors.”
You squint at the drawings, trying to figure out what they remind you of. “Are those…”
“Air ducts!” Dustin finishes for you, impressed with Robin’s idea.
“Safe, practical, and wouldn’t involve guns.” Turning to the girl, you nod at her and wink. “Buckley, you really keep your promises.”
Robin bows playfully. “Turns out, this secret room needs air just like any old room, and these air ducts,” she grabs a marker from the whiteboard and circles Scoops on the blueprints before drawing a winding line down to the hidden vault and circling it as well. “Lead all the way here.”
The four of you all look up at the vent above you, and while the idea seems like the safest option, you can’t help but wonder how horribly wrong it could go as well. You’ve never had the best luck, not when it comes to Hawkins, and the air ducts seem almost too easy of a solution to trust.
Steve finds a screwdriver in one of the shop’s drawers and takes apart the air vent with Dustin’s help. You stand next to Robin and watch with slight weariness, unsure where to go from here. Once Steve has removed the vent, he shines a flashlight inside and winces.
“I don’t know, guys. It’s a tight fit.”
“I can do it,” you step forward. “Can’t be that bad, right?”
Steve looks down at you from the ladder. “This feels like a trap.”
“Move, Harrington.” Once he’s off the ladder, you climb up yourself. When you look into the vent, your heart drops. It is a tight fit, there’s no way you’ll be able to crawl through it. Defeated, you climb down the ladder. “Well, shit.”
“I’ll fit.” Dustin now speaks up.
“No you will not.”
He rolls his eyes at you. “No collar bones, remember?”
“Excuse me?” Robin has never been more confused in her life.
Steve begins to explain Dustin’s medical condition while you continue arguing with your brother. “I’m not letting you do this!”
“You got the healthy genes while I got the rare genetic condition, Y/N.” Dustin starts to climb up the ladder as you tug at his shirt to try and stop him. “Let me abuse it!”
“But–”
Steve places a hand on your shoulder. “I’ll handle this, Y/N.”
You step back, hoping that he’ll talk some sense into your brother, but to your horror he only makes things worse. Dustin starts to climb into the vent with Steve below him, but he gets stuck about halfway in. “Steve, push me!”
The teen looks at you, unsure what the right call here is. “Do I…?”
“Yeah, just push the kid.” You rub your eyes, tired. “He’s already almost in the damn air duct anyways.”
Steve pushes at Dustin’s feet to help him move further, but he’s quickly berated. “Not my feet, dumbass. Push my ass!”
“What?” You and Steve exclaim at the same time.
“Touch my butt, I don’t care!” Dustin’s screeching voice is muffled from the walls of the vent.
Looking at you one last time, Steve sighs heavily and places his hands on your brother’s butt and starts to shove him deeper into the air duct. He can’t believe he’s doing this right now, shoving the butt of the brother of the girl he’s in love with. You stand next to Robin, mortified of what you’re currently witnessing, endlessly ashamed of the two boys.
The two boys argue, Dustin commanding Steve to push him harder as the teen tries his best to shove the kid, and Robin leans over to you. “Remind me, why are you into Harrington again?”
All you can do is sigh at her question, having no good answer as you watch Steve now manhandle Dustin and scream back insults at him.
They look ridiculous.
“Ahoy, sailors!” Someone rings the register’s bell impatiently. “All hands on deck!”
You and Robin turn to find Erica standing at the register as she repeatedly rings the bell and demands her daily free samples. You’re about to respond to her when you see Robin raise her eyebrows; it’s clear she’s thought of something.
“Would… Erica fit in the vent?”
Your hand snatches at Robin’s arm as you pull her away from the shop’s window. “Absolutely not. We’re not getting Erica involved!”
“C’mon, Y/N. She’s small, she could easily fit–”
“She’s ten.” She’s too young. You’ve always regretted that Dustin and the party were twelve when everything began.
You’ll be damned if you ruin another child’s life.
But Robin doesn’t know any of this, and she ignores you as she runs to the register and recruits Erica before you can stop her. Within a minute you have a very curious Erica Sinclair climbing the ladder up to the vent as she shines a flashlight through it.
You stand below her, helpless.
“Yeah, I don’t know.” She climbs down after a few minutes of studying the vent’s dimensions.
“You don’t know if you can fit?” Dustin asks.
Erica leans against the table and studies the four of you with distaste. “Oh, I can fit. I just don’t know if I want to.”
“Are you claustrophobic?” Robin teases her, but you only feel sympathy for the girl.
You step towards Erica, trying one last time to reason with her. “You don’t have to do this, you know. You can back down now, no one will blame you. In fact, I will give you all my allowance if you say no.”
Dustin elbows you roughly to get you to shut up, he knows what you’re trying to do. You glare at him and rub your now tender shoulder. When you look towards Steve and Robin for backup, both teens send you pleading glances similar to the ones from last night.
Once again, you’re the odd man out.
None of this is what you want.
“I don’t have phobias,” Erica informs Robin. Then, she turns to you, “and no one tells me what to do.”
Steve crosses his arms. “Okay, well. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is, I still haven’t heard what’s in this for Erica.”
Ten minutes later, you’re sitting in a booth with the others as Steve slides Erica a freshly made sundae.
“More fudge, please.” She requests, pleased she’s won.
Steve looks at you, already fed up with the kid, and you feel no sympathy for him. “Go on, get the girl her bribery fudge. This is what you wanted.”
He cringes at the sarcasm in your voice and knows you’re once again pissed at him. Defeated, he hangs his head low and leaves to get Erica more fudge without another word. Once he’s gone, Robin opens up her blueprints and shows the girl the air ducts. “You see this? This is the route you’re going to take.”
You sit there quietly as Dustin and Robin talk to Erica. After they’ve explained the entire plan, she mentions that this all sounds like child endangerment. You let out an exhausted chuckle. “It does, doesn’t it? Isn’t that just hilarious to think about?”
Robin tries to reassure both you and Erica. “We’ll be in radio contact with you the whole time–”
“Ah, ah, ah!” Erica waves a finger in Robin’s face, unamused. “Child. Endangerment.”
“It’s a shame only you can see that.” You drop your head onto the table, entirely over the situation. “I mean, how can only the ten year old see how insane this is, huh?”
Dustin throws a straw at you and shushes you, annoyed with your theatrics. Clearing his throat, he turns to Erica. “We think these Russians want to do harm to our country.”
“Unconfirmed, actually.” You retort. With every passing minute, it becomes more and more evident that this really is happening, and there’s no way you can back out now; someone sane has to be there to protect everyone. Dustin and the others all seem deluded by the idea of fame and adventure, but all you want to do is keep your loved ones safe.
“Shut up,” Dustin shoves you further away from him as he tries to win over Erica’s agreement. “Great harm. Don’t you love your country?”
“You can’t spell ‘America’ without ‘Erica’.” She takes a sip from her drink, now listening.
You lift your head up from the table and share a baffled look with Dustin, both of you going through how to spell America in your heads. Amazingly, Erica is right. You really can’t spell the word without her name.
“Incredible,” you whisper, in complete disbelief.
Dustin shakes his head. “Uh, yeah. Oddly, that’s–uh, totally true… So, don’t do this for us. Do it for your country. Do it for your fellow man, for America – Erica.”
After your brother’s speech, Erica puts down her drink and mocks him, still not entirely sold on the whole child endangerment idea. Instead, she goes on a whole spiel about how she loves capitalism and paying people for their services while you sit there, head pounding with a headache.
“And it seems to me,” Erica concludes with a smile, “my ability to fit into that little vent is very, very valuable to you all. So, you want my help? This USS Butterscotch better be the first of many. I’m talking free ice cream for life.”
Robin and Dustin mirror exasperated expressions on their faces, but honestly? You get a kick out of Erica recognizing her worth; she’s brilliant. Without saying anything, you lift your hand up for Erica to high five, which she happily accepts.
“To child endangerment!” You cheer, your voice oozing sarcasm, and Erica follows suit as Robin and Dustin both slump in their seats.
–
It’s your idea to prep Erica for whatever she may find after crawling through the ducts. You shoved a helmet on her head and forced knee pads onto the girl, which she adamantly protested against.
“This is excessive, even for you.”
You held up money, which promptly shut her up. “Wear the protection and do exactly as I say, or lose $5.”
After she took the money, you then held out your switchblade for her to take as well. “And use this if anything happens, alright?”
Erica had stared at you, slightly surprised. “Why do you carry knives on you?”
“Ask questions later.”
Now you’re anxiously waiting on the mall’s rooftop once more with Dustin, Steve, and Robin as you radio Erica for updates.
“You nerds in position or what?” Her voice drones through the walkie’s speaker.
“Yeah, we’re in position.” Robin confirms. The three of you have been scouting the shipment deck for the last thirty minutes, making sure all the possible Russian guards were gone. “It’s all quiet up here, so you’ve got the green light.”
You take the walkie from Robin. “But be careful, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Be careful and green light, roger that. Commence Operation Child Endangerment.”
Robin snatches the walkie back and cringes at what Erica has said. “Can we maybe not call it that?”
“That's exactly what’s happening here.” You say with a snort.
“Thanks for the help, Y/N.”
You give Robin a thumbs up. “Anytime.”
Erica announces that she’s in the air ducts and you feel the familiar burden of fear creep through you as she now goes quiet. Steve’s hand finds yours and he attempts to ease your discomfort as you all wait. “Erica will be fine, Y/N.”
“Yeah, totally!” Robin tries to reassure you as well, though she looks nervous too.
The minutes drag by at an agonizingly slow pace. The three of you hold your breath, waiting for Erica’s assurance that she’s safe and okay, and you pray to whatever god that’s up there to listen and keep her safe.
If anything happens to her, it would only be your fault for not having learned your lesson sooner.
“Alright, nerds.” You let out a breath of relief when Erica radios again, and you can feel Steve exhale as well. He’d been worried, too. “I’m there.”
“Do you see anything?” Robin asks, voice alight with excitement now.
“Yeah, I see those boring boxes you’re so excited about.”
“Any guards?”
Erica pauses a moment, presumably scanning for any signs of danger, before responding. “Negative.”
You breathe out again with relief. At the very least, Erica is in a safe enough location.
However, Robin isn’t done asking questions yet. “Booby traps?”
“If I could see them, they’d be pretty shit traps, wouldn’t they?”
You grab the radio again from Robin. “Erica, have I told you that you’re my favorite child?”
“You haven’t, but I know I am,” there’s a bang over the other end of the walkie, then a loud thud followed by a grunt, before her voice comes through again. “I’m in.” Then, not even a minute later, the door to the vault begins to lift up, revealing a smug looking Erica on the other side.
You all stare at her in awe, and she snaps her fingers at you. “Free ice cream for life.”
Steve lets out a surprised laugh and a smile crosses your face as well. Even though you’re still entirely against what’s happening, you can’t believe that the plan worked. You guys successfully broke into a Russian vault.
That beats Demodogs any day.
You, Steve, Robin, and Dustin climb down from the roof to get to Erica as fast as you can. When you finally join her, you risk her fury and pull her into your arms for a hug. “You’re so much braver than I was at ten.”
Erica shoves you off of her. “That doesn’t at all surprise me.”
While you make sure she’s okay, Dustin and the others investigate the room. There’s boxes everywhere with tape all over them. Lifting one up onto a table, Steve turns to you. “Can I borrow that switchblade, Y/N?”
“She’s got it,” you point to Erica. “Talk to the kid.”
Steve frowns, having unexpected this, and, being scared of the girl, he laughs nervously. “Uh, Erica? Can I have that switchblade now?”
She rolls his eyes at him and digs through her pockets to retrieve it. “Aren’t you the man in the relationship? Why don’t you have your own pair of knives?”
You cover your mouth to try and stifle the laugh that escapes you, but it’s no use. Steve hears it and sticks his middle finger up at you before finally opening the box. Cutting through the tape, he opens the box’s flaps to find a metal storage container within them.
When Steve reaches his hand inside the box, you stop him. “Please, be careful.”
“I got this, angel.” However, he slows his movements and carefully grabs at the container’s handle. Slowly, he turns it, and it lets out a terrifying hiss as air escapes it. Removing the lid, more air comes crawling out and reveals four individual cylinders.
“Definitely not delicious noodles and sensible shoes.” You breathe out, and Steve hums in agreement.
“That’s a weird way of saying ‘you were right, Dustin’.” Your brother snarks, and you hit his shoulder to shut him up.
Meanwhile, Steve waves his hand at the four of you, motioning you to back up. “Uh, maybe you guys should, you know, stand back.”
Robin and Erica don’t hesitate to listen, but you and Dustin remain where you are. There’s a silent agreement between the two of you to not abandon Steve, he needs you. When he sees that you both haven’t listened, Steve pleads with you. “Just step back, please? I’m doing this for you guys, this could be dangerous.”
“No.” You and Dustin say at the same time.
Steve tries to argue again, but you remain firm in your stance. “I’m not leaving you. Ever.”
His words falter at the sincerity in your voice, and he wishes it was just the two of you alone right now so that he could stroke your cheek and kiss away your concerns. He’s filled with warmth by your care for him, but just like you would never put him in danger, Steve would never put you in any danger either.
He loves you with everything within him, he just wishes he could tell you this.
“If you die, I die.” Dustin proudly declares, breaking Steve out of his thoughts.
You stare at your brother, as does Steve, and together the two of you awkwardly pat the kid’s shoulder to acknowledge his sentiment. With a cough, you add, “Hendersons with Harrington.”
Steve clears his throat, overwhelmed and slightly off put by the bizarre support. “Okay, I guess.” He grabs at one of the cylinders and twists slowly, and when it unlocks, he lifts and reveals a bubbling green liquid. “What the hell?”
Robin asks what the substance is and you feel like you’ve lost your mind. You have no idea what the fuck is happening anymore. “God I hope it’s scary Kool-Aid”
As soon as the words have left your mouth, you feel rumbling beneath your feet.
Immediately, you know you’ve fucked up.
Dustin looks up at you in alarm. “Was that just me, or did the room move?”
“Booby traps,” Erica whispers, looking scared as well.
A mechanical whirring sound infiltrates your ears as the room starts to shake again, and every part of your body screams at you to run. Something is very, very wrong. Grabbing Dustin’s hand, you start to head towards the door. “We need to leave. Now.”
“Let’s go!” Robin follows you, not needing to be told twice, and grabs one of the vials of liquid as she does so.
“Which one is the button, Erica?” Dustin asks, fingers hovering over the control panel’s buttons after pressing one failed.
“Just press the damn button, nerd.”
You turn to her, panic rising. “He is, but nothing’s happening.”
“Press ‘open door’.”
Dustin presses the button again but still, nothing happens. Frantic to escape the room now, you shove him aside and try yourself. Your fingers press roughly against it, but still the doors won’t budge.
Steve joins, sliding next to you as he starts to try pressing the buttons. “Here, press the other button.”
You slap his hand. You’re overwhelmed and scared and anxious and he’s five seconds away from losing an eye. “I already did that!”
Dustin starts to argue with Steve now and they push you back, repeatedly hitting whatever they can touch, as Robin and Erica shout their own useless and unneeded advice that is helping absolutely no one. You stand behind the boys, hands pressed against your head as you start to hyperventilate with panic.
Then, walls come slamming down on all sides of the room, effectively kick starting your panic attack. The lights begin to flicker as the room suddenly drops. Your stomach lurches into your throat as you’re thrown downward, and instinctively you grab for Dustin in your panic as Steve grabs for you.
Everyone screams as you plunge into the darkness.
-
⌑ series masterlist
⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)
⌑ taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @thytorturedpoet @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic @goosy-goose @quinnsadilla @munsons-queen @stefansring @rice-elephant @bex22109 @bitchkeery @bex22109 @officerrrfriendly @kazunish @idkitsem @emilieluckwood @ryoujoking @criesinlies @tagakalat @dcnerd98 @sucker-4-angst @kitdjarin1 @onecojg @innazra @areiofhope @spaghetittied @cultish-corner @g8sstuff @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @hsllfirescoops @l0ve-0f-my-life @newyorkangelbaby @aliceespector @chervbs @poppet055 @bookkeeperlove @bellenotthebeast @swiftieblyth @ladyobscurus @moon-flowerrs @estaticheart @dreamingofts18 @lanxsee @thecapricunt1616 @aheadfullofsteverogers @marvel-and-music @angie2274 @thescoopstroopers @xuimhao @rh1nestonecowg1rl @shelby-ren @carinacassiopeiae @eddiemunson-86-baby @ribbetzetoad @harryssideboobz @cherrycherry19 @mamamakaylamorgan23 @slttygeto @alltoomay @hiraethavis @torntaltos @eeniemeenie @latenightreadingpdf @gayandfairycore @aliceespector
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#nya#m's writing#steve is just a boy doing his best#and erica !!#WE FINALLY HAVE ERICA !!!
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please, please, please~ Leo Valdez x Aphrodite reader
A/N: Guess who's back on the writing grind.... ME! Btw get ready for a yapfest just skip it.
Idk if anyone actually wants these cause my silly posts that take me two mintuets to read gets more interactions but whatever. I wanna try and make these look pretty but i dont know how so I'll have research cause it's killing me how ugly how ugly it is. Also I wanna say IM A MINOR I DO NOT WRITE SMUT! Thats just cause i got a smut request but i literally don't feel comfortable writing it or putting it online so sorry yall. Anyway here's your daily dose of Leo content cause he's bad boy supreme.
Warnings~ cringy and brainrot use, swearing
contents~ Leo's a loveable idiot that uses brainrot like his life depends on it.
word count~ 390
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🤍~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Urm... what the sigma?" Is what your boyfriend said as you walked into bunker 9. You weren't sure what he meant when he said stuff like that but it was embarrassing. Ever since he'd figured out how to make phones that didn't alert monsters of your whereabouts he'd ranked his screen time up to 9 hours and kept saying odd terms.
"What does that meannnnn?" You ask quickly walking into the bunker before anyone could possibly see you, the prettiest and friendliest, child of Aphrodite hanging around bunker nine and in extension Leo. You weren't ashamed of him... no more worried about what would happen if he ended up calling it off. Piper was the only one who knew about this little thing going on because your other half siblings that someone would have to have bad taste and judgement to date him. However, all the sneaking around ended today when Leo expressed how it felt being kept like a secret.
"It means your the alpha skibdi rizzler of my heart." He said putting his little tinkering project down and wrapping his arms around your waist beaming at you with a twinkle in his brown eyes. Normal boyfriends would call their partner darling or baby but you didn't have normal you had Leo. Scrawny, mischievous Leo.
At first, you lean into his arms but then you notice all the oil on him and playfully shove him away as one of his dirty hands come up to cup your cheek. "Hey, watch the money maker, Valdez. If you ruin my outfit I will cry . And your weird terms still make zero sense." You say not being able to help the smile that came across your lips. Gods, he was cute covered in oil and when he was ruining it with his brainrot vocab.
Pouting, Leo moved back and grabbed a rag to clean himself off, he was so ready for today you were half expecting him to burst out singing 'for the first time in forever' like Anna in frozen. "Fine, fine. So... you ready to tell the world your dating the one and only Leo Valdez?" He asked in a cocky tone as he leaned on his workbench trying to hide the childlike excitement that you could tell was brewing under the service.
"mhm, just don't embarrass me mother fucker."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🤍~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N~ Hope you liked this my requets are open and I'm working on getting the ones I got before I had a tiny mental breakdown. (I'm fine just geography.) So read them in and give me anything I could improve on. I think I'll write some to save for if I get like that again or go through writers block.
#percy jackson#pjo#pjo fandom#leo valdez#percabeth#fluff#leo valdez x reader#leo valdez x y/n#percy and annabeth#annabeth chase#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#all da ladies luv leo
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"Alright, people, let's start at the beginning one last time. My name is Gwen Stacy. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last two years, I've been the one and only Spider-Woman. You guys know the rest."
before we get started, there’s some things that are going to be pointed out here (plz read they are important)
if you’d like to ask gwen anything, use the ask box! it is open for that reason (if talking to mun, pls clarify)
if you’d like to rp but dont know if ill say yes, just ask. im like a 99 percent chance of saying yes
im cool with anything as long as it doesnt involve nsfw
i have a wack time schedule so there will be days where i am radio silent. i swear i am not ignoring you (just priv msg me if you want to double check)
my main blog is @flowered-bicycles if you want to check it out!
i also roleplay as @lyrate-lifeform-approximation (LYLA)
mun goes by soka but will normally be referred to as gwen's mun, or not at all
as hard as i will try to be gwen's canon self, i may end up throwing a bit of myself into the rp. pls dont hate, just let me know nicely
gwen will be movie based as i dont have enough knowledge about the comics
[], {} or // will be used when ooc (when mun is speaking)
roleplay is normally in 3rd pov but basic posts and/or asks will be 1st pov
extra and disclaimer! - this is strictly an rp blog (yes i may act and speak and react like gwen, but i am in no way actually her. i am in no way affiliated with marvel (unless you count fan as being affiliated) so this is completely fanmade!
feel free (much encouraged) to like, reblog or send/asks and make comments! the ask box has anon on as well, so if you are shy, anon is on just for you! if you wish, giving an emoji for me to recognize you by would be greatly appreciated! you can leave comments and ill try to reply to them.
BLOG RULES
you may use “potty mouth” when rping, but dont “over curse” iykwim
gwen is a teenager, remember that, so she obviously does not have many romantic interests. if you want to make a relationship with her, dm me and we will figure something out (the only acceptable ships are with other teenagers (hence, teenage spider gang))
keep this SFW blog! (which means NO SMUT TALK!!! violence and gore are accepted tho so be warned)
keep the asks RESPECTFUL please. i will block you if you dont
uncomfortable topics will be blatantly ignored
dont godmod
have fun!
about GWEN
ghost-spider
spider-woman
based on earth 65
teenage spider gang
ballet dancer
works for spider society
friends & foes
canon
miguel o'hara - @spiderman2-99
peter b parker - @peterbsideparker
hobie brown - @spiderpunkofficial
pavitr prabhakar - @pavitr-prabhakar-50101
noir - @noir-spider-noir
other/oc
mila - @crybaby-spider
spider-glow - @glowing-arachnid
bridge - @nan0-sp1der
gwendolyn stark - @gwendolynstark
#spider gwen#gwen stacy#posting from earth 65#spider woman#across the spiderverse#spiderman: across the spiderverse#spiderman#gwen answers#gwen stacy rp
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“Okay, I know what it looks like. But here's the good news. The multiverse didn't collapse. Little touch and go, but it worked out!”
before we get started, there’s some things that are going to be pointed out here (plz read they are important)
if you’d like to ask LYLA anything, use the ask box! it is open for that reason (if talking to mun, pls clarify)
if you’d like to rp but dont know if ill say yes, just ask. im like a 99 percent chance of saying yes
im cool with anything as long as it doesnt involve nsfw
i have a wack time schedule so there will be days where i am radio silent. i swear i am not ignoring you (just priv msg me if you want to double check)
my main blog is @flowered-bicycles if you want to check it out!
i also roleplay as @ghostly-sunflower (gwen)
mun goes by soka but will normally be referred to as LYLA’s mun, or not at all
as hard as i will try to be LYLA’s canon self, i may end up throwing a bit of myself into the rp. pls dont hate, just let me know nicely
LYLA will be movie based as i dont have enough knowledge about the comics
[], {} or // will be used when ooc (when mun is speaking)
roleplay is normally in 3rd pov but basic posts and/or asks will be 1st pov
extra and disclaimer! - this is strictly an rp blog (yes i may act and speak and react like LYLA, but i am in no way actually her. i am in no way affiliated with marvel (unless you count fan as being affiliated) so this is completely fanmade! feel free (much encouraged) to like, reblog or send/asks and make comments! the ask box has anon on as well, so if you are shy, anon is on just for you! if you wish, giving an emoji for me to recognize you by would be greatly appreciated! you can leave comments and ill try to reply to them. submissions are open too (i think) if you wish to submit something!
BLOG RULES
you may use “potty mouth” when rping, but dont “over curse” iykwim
LYLA is an AI so she obviously does not have a romantic interest. if you want to make a relationship with her, dm me and we will figure something out (the only funny ship she has is holofang no i will not be taking criticism)
keep this SFW blog! (which means NO SMUT TALK!!! violence and gore are accepted tho so be warned)
keep the asks RESPECTFUL please. i will block you if you dont
uncomfortable topics will be blatantly ignored
dont godmod
have fun!
about LYLA
lyrate lifeform approximation
ai
based on earth 928
silly goofer
proud of her work
works for miguel o’hara
friends & foes
canon
miguel o’hara - @spiderman2-99
peter b parker - @peterbsideparker
hobie brown - @spiderpunkofficial
pavitr prabhakar - @pavitr-prabhakar-50101
noir - @noir-spider-noir
other/oc
mila - @crybaby-spider
spider-glow - @glowing-arachnid
bridge - @nan0-sp1der
#across the spiderverse#atsv lyla#lyla#lyla answers#lyla spiderverse#lyla spiderman 2099#lyla rp#posting from lyla hq#spiderman: across the spiderverse#atsv#spiderman rp#spiderman across the spider verse#marvel rp#shit happens in 2099#// ooc post
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i remember it, all too well.
42!miles g morales x reader
summary: you've been dating someone for a year and slowly you realize they've become distant. barely texting you, not showing any admiration, always out clubbing. until you went to their place and see something unspeakably wrong, you snap and they try to come back to you. months later, still broken. you met miles and you two become very close. one day you see them again and you can remember the memories all too well.
warnings: super angst (fluff in the end of COURSE) cursing, bad spanish (i’m so sorry y’all😭) creepy ex bro, cheating.
a/n: WHOOP i started listening to atwtmv for like a 100 times and it gave me the idea to write this (all hail taylor swift!!) this is gonna be so angsty i swear like im so sorry yall 😭 but lemme tell y’all i swear 42 miles has rizz i’m not lying
words: 2.2k
┊ ➶ 。˚ °
your life was pretty fine the past few months since you’ve met your partner.
they were, everything you wanted. they loved you to the moon and back and you said the same thing too.
but a year passed and things started to change, drastically.
they stopped paying attention to you, stopped hanging out with you, was always on their phone and most of all, always went clubbing.
you’d be at your place and it was around 12:45 in the morning, he was supposed to come by.
the first thing that came up to your mind was text him, they were probably busy anyway?
…..
love<3
12:46 am
y/n: babe, wru? you were supposed to come to my place an hour ago.
seen 12:48 am.
y/n : hello?
seen 12:50 am.
……
you sighed, tossing your phone to the side of the bed as u curled up in ball, thinking why they left you on seen.
you decided to go check up on them yourself, so you put your shoes on and walked over to his apartment.
you knocked on their door, seemingly waiting for an answer, there was none.
so you opened the door which was seemingly unlocked, and scanned around the room, calling out their name.
when you heard loud music from his room.
you knocked but there was no answer as you thought the music was drowning your knock so you opened it.
and oh boy were you in for a surprise.
you dropped your purse on the floor as you stood there as if you saw a ghost, but instead you saw them making out with someone else.
“so that’s how shits going huh.” you said bluntly with tears in your eyes as your words jolted both of them up and your partner turned to look at you.
“it’s not what it seems like bab-“ they were protesting, pushing the other person away and walking to you but you cut them off and pushed them away.
“there’s nothing to fucking explain!” you screamed. “its all right infront of me, dont even bother.” you said as the tears flowed out of your eyes, looking away.
“please love im sorry i- just- give me another chance” they tried to grab your hands and you pulled away quickly.
“so you just can call me up again just to break me like a fucking promise huh? i expected better from you.” my voice cracked at every word as i walked away and slammed the door shut.
i was home, on the floor. in a ball of sadness. tears, snot, everything flowing out. while they kept texting me.
…..
unknown number.
1:15 am
un: babe please
un: please im sorry
un: i won’t do it again
un: forgive me
seen 1:20 am.
…..
you knew damn well he was lying so you blocked the number, shutting off your phone and sliding it across the room.
that day, your whole heart broke, you never felt anything anymore, love was completely just a game to you
but do you think everything will change soon?
it was your usual day. wake up, get ready for work, walk, get to work and actually work.
you worked at the cashier in some convenience store.
you’d felt numb and dull the past few weeks and didn’t really have the motivation to do anything, but you had to so you did. but you just remember everything all too well.
you were doing your job as normal and nothing around changed honestly, it was just your average normal day until someone came in that caught your eye.
it was a boy about your age, he was wearing sweatpants and a sweater, the way his jawline stands out and his braids touching his shoulders.
you thought he was cute but you shook off your feelings and went on with your day.
you noticed he was catching a few glances from you, you thought of it as nothing when he paid normally and went out the store.
but he kept coming back to the store every single day for the whole week and you two start to talk a bit more, but not your actual huge conversations.
but this one time. he was in the store picking up a few stuff and bringing it to the counter.
you scanned the items as you put it in a paper bag,
“15.44.” you told him the price.
“keep the change.” he said giving you a 20 and his spanish accent had you rolling on the floor (metaphorically).
you mumbled a thank you as he walked out, you were going to put the 20 in the cash box but suddenly, you saw a note attached to it.
* xxx-xxx-xxxx, my number. text me soon hermosa. - miles:) *
you were shocked to the brim as u held the paper in hand profusely blushing as you started to smile a bit.
did a guy just really give his number out to you?
you kept the note in your pocket, still blushing and went on with your day. until you came back home
you held the note in your hand again, still contemplating if you should put the number in your phone.
you did it anyway.
as you shakily typed the number in your phone, you added his name in the contact number and pressed the message button.
…..
miles(?)
10:05 pm.
y/n: hello?
*minutes pass by and you were doubting a message back from him. but your phone dinged.*
miles(?): hey
*you were shaking in your bed as you saw his reply.*
y/n: you’re miles right?, the guy from the store?
miles(?): the one and only. miles(?): and you’re…?
y/n: sorry.. i’m y/n
miles(?): nice name ;)
*at that point you were shocked by the little winky face he put*
y/n: the same goes to you :)) y/n: so.. weird question but why’d you give me your number?
miles(?): just thought you were cute.
*his reply literally had you in shambles and you didn’t know what to reply with but it hit you. it could be your ex’s friend again trying to get on you for breaking up with them.*
y/n: are u sure? because i swear to god if you’re one of my ex’s friends trying to shit on me for breaking up w them i will literally murder you.
miles(?): i swear, i don’t know who your ex is. but are you okay though?
*i sighed in relief, knowing that they stopped doing it.*
y/n: yeah, sorry i’m just paranoid. y/n: i gotta go, talk to you soon?
miles(?): alright, see ya soon hermosa.
……
you closed your phone and start to smile, but it feels like everything that went down happened was only yesterday, time won’t fly for you. it’s like your paralyzed in your own heartbreak.
you lay down in your bed, thoughts drowning in you as you start to fall asleep.
days turn to weeks and you and miles start to become closer friends. and you wouldn’t deny to admit that you liked him, ALOT.
but you never told him. you were scared of commitment ever since it happened.
you never told him, you never bothered to say anything because he never asked you and you were fine with it. until one day.
you both were on the rooftop at his place laughing about anything and everything, talking about what happens.
until he asks a question.
“so, that day, the day you first messaged me about your ex’s friends shitting on you for what happened, whyd you think i was one of them?” he looked at the stars slyly, glancing at you at times.
“well.” you sighed, fiddling around with your fingers,
“i didn’t know who his friends were, so they would come around at work, giving me their number and i would text them obviously and they would always tell me i was cute or something but the next second they just shit on me saying mean stuff and i kinda just couldn’t trust anyone after that.”
he looks back down to look at you , with an apologetic look on his face, when he went to scoot a bit closer to you.
“can i ask what happened?” he asked as his hand was slightly touching yours as you looked at the stars.
“we were happy for a year, everything was fine but they grew distant. they stopped talking to me and always went to clubs and came back home drunk. they seemed off for so long and i went to their place and saw them making out with someone else and i just kinda lost it, because they did this twice and i lost my shit at that point, i haven’t felt love ever since. i just kinda lost motivation, i really want my old self but i just can’t seem to find it.” tears filled your eyes to the brim as i told him everything.
as the tears start to flow out, he hugged you tightly and rubbed your back. “lo siento mucho querida.” he whispered.
“you did nothing wrong okay? it was all them.” he hugged you tighter.
as he pulled back from the hug, wiping the tears from your eyes.
it was silent for a moment after he pulled away.
“i could change that.” he spoke up after the brief silence that filled between us.
you locked at him surprised, “what.. do you mean?”
“you said.. you would never feel love again right..?” his words were soft when he spoke.
you nodded slowly as you turn to look at him looking at the stars.
“well, i could change that.” his head lowered down to look at you but you looked away.
“how will i know you end up the same as they did?” you looked down looking at your knees when you felt his hand grab your chin and pull you in closer for a kiss.
you were shocked at first but then you slowly melt in to the kiss, finally realizing he was the one.
as he pulled away, he held your hand tightly. “i promise i won’t break your heart mi amor.” he whispered. "ill give you the world, the stars if possible, anything for you."
you felt this wave of love you’ve never felt before and it made you feel full, you went to hug him tightly as you never wanted to pull back
“i love you, miles.”
“te quiero también, mi amor. más de lo que sabes.”
after that day, you and miles started dating and it was nothing like you experienced before.
it was always flowers here, flowers there and he was just a straight up gentleman to you.
you just closed up your shop early tonight to go on your first date with miles, and when you both were walking there, you bumped into someone and both crash to the ground.
“oh my god im so sorr-“ you were frantically picking up their stuff to give it back and when you both look at eachother, you stopped talking. it was your ex.
everything, every single memory of you both flowed down your mind and you remembered it all too well.
“amor are you okay?” miles bent down to check on you when he noticed you giving a dirty glance at your ex, and it hit him.
“yeah i’m fine let’s just go.” you tried to stand up but your ex’s hand pulled you back down and restraining you from standing up.
“what the fuck do you want?” you screamed and it grabbed miles attention.
“please, im sorry i didn’t mean it can things just go back the way it was?” he protested and was on their knees begging you to stay
i pulled my hand out of his grip as we both stood up “i already told you, a million fucking times, no.”
“please i’m sorry, i- i was drunk and i wasn’t thinking straight.”
“so you’re telling me, those both times you were drunk and you weren’t thinking straight? those both times you fucking cheated on me and you weren’t thinking straight? you choosing pleasure over our goddamn relationship and you weren’t thinking straight? you could’ve thought for a SINGLE moment, will this affect my relationship? of course it fucking will you asshole. get out of my sight.” you stood back up and walked opposite where your ex was, but they wouldn’t stop and grabbed your hand again.
“just forgive me plea-“ he was about to get on his knees but miles stood infront of you and grabbed their arm tightly so they could release your arm
“back up bro, y/n already told you they don’t want you. don’t make it harder for us. one step closer and you’re gone got it?” miles let go of his hand as a warning and they nodded and ran away and miles turned to you.
“are you okay querida? you aren’t hurt anywhere are you?” he put his arms on your shoulders, scanning your body for any wounds.
“i’m okay, just a bit shaken up." you sighed, fixing your clothes.
miles was genuinely worried about you and you told him everything's fine as long he was with you.
"i'm so sorry amor that they keep doing that to you." he grabbed yout waist and pulled you in a hug.
"you know ill protect you always right?" he pulled away from the hug.
"promise?" you held out your pinky for a pinky promise and smiled softly.
"promise querida." he took his pinky and hooked it with yours and shook it softly and pulled you in another hug.
although you still remember all the heartbreaking memories all too well, you had him and that was enough for you.
┊ ➶ 。˚ °
© hearts4hobie.
do not steal, translate, and rewrite without permission.
#angst#fluff#hearts4hobie#across the spider verse#astv x reader#miles 42#miles morales prowler#miles morales 42 x reader#miles g morales#miles morales 42#CRYING#ilovehimsomuchudontunderstand#astv#spidermanacrossthespiderverse#miles my beloved
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🌑 ˚x'˙ intro. . ??
Hello. . !! im new to tumblr, so sorry if wonky things happen while im setting this up. im still trying to figure things out guys-
i lurk on other accounts for general content but im closeted n shy so i made this one to yell about things instead so i don’t expose myself to people i know lolol
if you know or find other profiles i own, i request you not expose it for those reasons before im comfortable to.
so this is just an f/o blog/journaling. . thing. I'm not entirely sure what content will be here, but it will be centered around f/os, self-shipping, and its just to give me a place to yell about the people that live in my/your brain rent-free and know they don’t exist but we pretend they do anyway for comfort reasons and serotonin, dopamine, uhh what other things feel good and ok??
some of it will be for you if I happen to think of something, other times it is for me to explode over my fixation f/os!!
youre also welcome to come yell about your f/os if you just need someone to talk to them about!! dont think i know em?? COME OVER and INTRODUCE THEM. you can come in DMs, asks, or however you want to!! id be happy to know your f/o or listen to you talk about them if no one else will :00
This is a comfort blog to me, so there wont be any room for meanness or intended offenses here. Dont come to me with troublesome things or somehow twist/morph my content into something its not, we're just here to have a cool time with our fictional people, bro. . :((
ok who r you tho:
To be honest, I don’t have a name or something to go by as of posting this, I might get one later or just make a new comment all fancy for the pin. . For now you can just call me whatever you deem good or just go off my blog/username!! Don’t be mean tho. i may take one you guys think of or figure it out on my own.
they/them
im 21 yo. (if youre a minor, i dont mind you coming to say hello, but do look below the other stuff content for what you need to look out for. you should also know some of you goofy kiddos have energies i dont know how to respond to sometimes, so dont worry if i get awkward or something, its not your fault lolol.)
im in college, so forgive me if im slow, im also just not on tumblr very often :v i dont ghost people on purpose i swEaR-
i might post my f/os on a whole list, idk yet, but theyll prolly be mentioned sometimes to the very least. you can def ask of them tho!! (edited: i made an f/o list if you want to see them.)
i dont know if ill post content of my own f/os or me/my sona for them, but it could be there.
i dont mind sharing f/os!! id love to yell about them together. if you dont like that, then its ok!! i either wont talk about them with you so you can be their person when we talk of them, or you can just block/not interact. ill be sad i dont get to meet you, but its ok.
other stuff:
Nothing explicit/detailed will normally be posted. but: The worst there will be is just being hormonally silly from kind of "rrr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-" energy of my f/os. i will try to create a tag to mark it with so you can exclude honky content if you want or need to later, tho. from what i know, you can "block" tags. . so i think that will work if you like the other goofy stuff on the blog??
(edited: I DID IT, I DID THEM, LOOK: 🌑obscure tags list for the obscure blog )
NSFW talk can be in DMs, tho.
DO NOT come to me with those concepts if youre a minor tho, oh dear GOD. honky grown-up talk is not for you goofy child-folk.
LGBTQ+ friendly!! im nonbinary and love everybody. youre ok too. 💙
i do roleplay sometimes, but only in dms n please dont go exposing our roleplays to others. . i would be very not comfy :"0
if you want to roleplay, you can dm me to ask but i dont have to say yes or i might not be able to. im slow too dfsdf=
i may or may not make a side blog once i figure out how to do stuff, but know that until then, im going to just post whatever on this one til i know how to do things on tumblr lolol.
forgive me if some of my content gets deleted, edited, whatever as we go. like i said, this whole thing is very new to me and its not very organized for now. its just there. its gonna get wonky over here on my side for a bit.
• tiny bat gif •
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welcome
" i'm tired already. after all, till the very end, i never did understand what i was born for. "
STATUS: SEMI-FREAKING OUT OVER EXAMS, BARELY ONLINE TILL THEY GET OVER
⋆ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 skylia, she/her, teen, minor
⋆ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 certified diehard xiao, kaiser, dan heng, dazai and chuuya kisser (im totally normal for them all i swear (im lying)), currently hyperfixating on bsd a bit too much
⋆ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 major dazai, mafuya and sigma kinnie
⋆ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 multifandom main/ interaction blog
⋆ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 IRL bestie- @damyoujackson (ur more slay bro ilysm)
── .✦ links:- about me || rules/byf || my beloved mutuals 1 | mutuals 2 || tagging system || carrd || important! || important 2 || about donation asks || notes challenge ✦.──
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ please note!
-please keep in mind that i shitpost and ramble and reblog a lot on this blog. also, please do read the rules and byf!
-i am intermittently active due to life, and may take from a few hrs to around a day or two to respond, depending on how im feeling. please dont mind that, thank you :)
-i use a lot of small emoticons and tonetags especially, and i keyboard smash and type in caps a lot. if youre not alright with that pls lmk/dm me and ill avoid it. i usually avoid interacting first bc im shy and awkward like that
-but if and when i do open up, i often interact a lot. if u dont like/want that, pls do lmk i will take no offence /gen
₊˚⊹ ⁀➴ ᰔ‧₊˚⊹ dni -> 18+ only blogs ,NSFW blogs, bots, haters, proshippers, general dni criteria. If i feel uncomfortable I will block you. Please avoid interacting with me if you are above 25-30 or so unless you know im comfortable with it (you can ask me first and interacts with my works though)
(other blogs utc-i mostly rb bsd stuff on bsd sb)
୨ৎ writing blog: @xiaosonlybeloved (i write for bsd, genshin, and bllk as of now)
୨ৎ mutuals ONLY can ask for my mootsonly and vent blogs, selfship sb: @lia-forever <3
୨ৎ bsd sb: @chuuya-kisser (insanely active there)
୨ৎ art sb: @skylia-draws
୨ৎ yukiyo rp blog (bsd oc) : @fallingdaydreams ; modern au dazai rp blog: @modernzai (pls interact with me lmfao)
୨ৎ 18! dazai rp blog: @mackerel-executive
୨ৎ sskk childhood friends akutagawa rp blog:@lil-rashoumon
୨ৎ if you find my old jjk blog good for you
࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔ currently doing: reading fics, (stu)dying, listening to music
putting this and this and this here bc i want to read everything
old pinned
thank you for your time :)
#[🔮] navi#tags i use for my convenience: check tagging system for proper tags#[🪽] mai sunshine <3#[🧋] noah <3#[🎤] mimi <3#[🪐] my moonbeam <3#[🔮] beloved- [name] <3#[💌] letters from: [name] <3#[🔮] rambles <3#[🪄] tagged <3#[💌] letters from: heart anon <3#[🪻] mecore#[🖇] queued forever#[🔮] lia's liveposting#[💝] reminders#[🪼] my pearl <3
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can someone please tell me if its normal to be annoyed when someone keeps lowkey asking you to draw something for them but you really dont want to, like lowkey BEGGING for that shit and its just like bro please leave me alone like thats all i feel like they talk to me for.
im not a mean person i swear, i dont mind drawing something for someone i actually enjoy drawing for people a lot but when you start practically begging and making it seem like i OWE YOU the damn drawing like it becomes annoying and feels like a chore and now ur finna get ghosted/maybe blocked stg because i absolutely HATE when people make art feel like a chore for me, it takes the fun out of it and is so incredibly draining
like brooo..it gets to a point, does it not?? i’m sorry if im just yapping i have not been having a good night. anyway mika look out for that harley quinn and joker drawing you suggested for koko and darnell :3 luv yaaa
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Properly addressing the drama
For the millionth time (The tone on this entire post is lighthearted and not mad)
I'm gonna start this off by saying that I have made multiple posts apologizing for my past actions, and acknowledging the harm I have caused in the past. I have apologized sorta- directly to Void (my friend sent my apology to them cuz Void didnt want me to contact them which I respected). I know I bring up my ASPD a lot, but please try to understand that personality disorders are dysfunctional behaviours ingrained into someones way of thinking/acting. I never want to excuse my bad behaviour, which is why I am fully open to hearing the others side. I do fully acknowledge that the jokes I made a year ago were in very bad taste now. At the time, I was very deep into drug addiction, in communities that encouraged my bad behaviour, and I grew up with people who held very discriminatory beliefs. This is my explanation for why I made those jokes. I'm trying to explain how my brain works, because it very clearly doesn't work how "normal people"'s brains do, which is why I was diagnosed in the first place. I understand my behaviour was harmful and incorrect, I take full accountability for what I have done, and I am slowly learning how to combat these habits and mindsets that I have grown up with. Its just very hard to do so when these things are heavily ingrained into me, and Im constantly bombarded with drama and being dehumanized and treated like a problem rather than a person. This is the ableism I have faced my entire life, and it follows here too.
I have mental disabilities of my own (very severe ADHD), I have been bullied a lot growing up for it, and also why I actively reclaim the R slur. But I grew up around people who would make fun of me, and people like me, and the way my brain works is that I'm not able to empathize or feel bad for people struggling with things like disabilities or whatnot. At the time, I didn't acknowledge that it was wrong, because to me that was normal and ok. I know now that it's not, and I'm in a place where (for the most part) I am able to try and consider right/wrong.
I do apologize if my tone in my posts or anything has come off as hostile or aggressive. I have a bad habit of that because of my hyperactivity where I speak faster and louder than I can control, which reflects into my tone in text. I have said numerous times that I'm not interested in fighting with minors. My intention was never to cause drama, but to defend my name against people making posts on me, which I have every right to do after they have spent 5 months straight constantly stalking and harassing me.
I do understand that they are all minors. In the past, they got mad at me for not wanting to interact with them due to their age. So it doesn't make sense that they're pulling the age card now. I swear from the bottom of my heart that I am not interested in any of this drama. Ive said it before, but I dont expect forgiveness or people to like me. All I want is to be left alone, and given space to continue my recovery for my mental health issues.
The reason why I bring up their ableism towards me isn't because I want to play victim, or to turn away from what I have done, or use it as an excuse. I take full accountability for what I have done, and talking about my ASPD is my way of explaining why I may think, talk, or act in certain ways. I have been very open about my ASPD from the beginning of this account, and on Discord. My issue is the fact I am being harassed, and have been for nearly half a year now even though I have long cut contact and blocked all of them, because I have "no morality", and I lack empathy. I think that is entirely dehumanizing and stimatizing towards people, not just me, who suffer from these things. If I am expected to take accountability for my ableism, which I have been, then I expect the same from these people as well.
I have screenshots where these people have talked about "cancelling" me on Tumblr way back in January. I have screenshots of death threats, and inappropriate things they have said about me. I understand they are all minors, but my ASPD doesn't excuse my bad behaviour, and their age doesn't excuse theirs.
This was never about caring about those effected by the jokes I made. These people have a long history of trying to cause drama for the sake of drama, and they have tried to do it with another big creator who I wont name. Also my DMs are open if anyone has any concerns, or wants to communicate about this maturely, I've always wished them well and hoped they would find peace and happiness in their lives as I have been trying in mine. Constant thriving off of drama is not good for anyone. Ive stated in the past Im not interested in that. I would like to move on from things that happened half a year to a year ago.
I have already been contacted by those who were involved in the January drama to get on better terms, which I very much appreciate.
I do not have the time or energy to cause unnecessary beef with random kids online. I have kept entirely to myself about this until they made a very public "call out post" about me where I do appreciate them showing me what I still needed to acknowledge and own up to in my past, but they cropped screenshots, not shown context, twisted stories, and have lied about me publicly on other things. My posts have only been about clearing my name and sharing my side. My only concern is telling my side. Anyone else would do the same with the things they have been saying.
I wish them all well wholeheartedly, and I want to make it clear I'm not mad, though I will admit I was for a bit there which is understandable when I have reached a tipping point after 5 months or so of non-stop harassment that I have tried my best to ignore.
I never cared to take any of this too seriously because it's the internet, and I know more than anyone who I am, what I believe, and how hard I'm working. No one else can speak on that, because none of you know me, really. But I have seen how they have insulted people who have nothing to do with the drama, calling someone a 'freak', flooding someones comments on a completely unrelated video, harassing random people in their DMs simply for being in my server. Many people of these are minors. I'm not going to let them do that to random, innocent people. That is entirely unfair how I am not allowed to say a slur I can reclaim, but they are allowed to go out of their way to bully innocent people who have nothing to do with me.
Thats where my issue lies. Thats what makes me upset. I'm a grown man, I have a life, I can defend myself and speak on my own issues. I've said many many times I don't want anyone to involve themselves in the drama, because honestly I think its a waste of time. If they truly cared about what they say they do, they would reach out to me, and we can talk maturely about it as I have done with some people previously associated with them.
I'm not asking for forgiveness, or for people to defend me, or take my side, or anything. All I am asking is that you stop stalking and harassing me, let me live my life in peace as Ive been trying to do, and please leave people alone who have nothing to do with this situation, and that includes my friends. I'm sure none of us want this to continue. Thank you.
(Also, I wanted to add onto the ASPD aspect of this cuz Ive been bringing it up a lot and I wanted to make it clear why. The way my brain works due to my mental health conditions is that I don't have the same emotional responses to words and others problems as most people do. Theres many studies on this, you can read up on it. When I hear certain topics, or words, or phrases, I'm unable to respond with the appropriate emotions and in all honesty it rarely ever bothers me, because I'm unable to empathize with those effected for the most part. I have a very strict moral code, but it's not the same as most people have due to this. I am learning how to combat this, because it causes issues like this. To me, saying hateful things is not the same as believing or doing it. Which I fully understand isn't the way most people see it, and I'm taking steps to unlearn this view. Of course my behaviour and views are going to be socially unacceptable, that is the entire premise of the disorder. Pleaaaase understand that when you berate and dehumanize me for that, youre berating and dehumanizing people with ASPD in general. There are many many other people out there who deal with the same things I do. What also bothered me was the obvious fakeclaiming in the comments of the post, when I have always been open about my diagnosis. I was diagnosed when I turned 18 in a forensic setting and my father has it as well. I have talked countless times about it. Thank you for all who understand.)
#tombtalk#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta#laundry and taxes#axefreak#whatever else#aspd#antisocial personality disorder
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i should be honest.......
>_< ;;;; so ive been a little quiet lately.... and i want to be honest about why that is. not just to be transparent with moots and oomfies, but truly to raise awareness for the gaslighting and abuse that weve normalized online.......
thats right ;; im talking about softblocking
(thank you for clicking thru already >w< its good someone cares.....) ;;;;
first of all, im not going to name names! rlly >_< firstly i wanna be the bigger person here..... and secondly cuz just.. there are too many names to name.
but anyways. you are maybe asking why softblocking is so bad? and its ok! ^^;; i get it. setting boundaries can be hard, and sometimes u need to manipulate our digital reality ;;;; now read that last sentence again.
when you softblock someone (for those who dont know: quietly blocking and unblocking a user so that their account is no longer following you), you are forcing a change of the status of their social account against their consent. literally if it werent for this loophole, you would have to log in to their account and unfollow for yourself- imagine how invasive that is!!!!
(and if youre wondering, i dont have to imagine! people in my actual real life have taken my phone from me, opened instagram, found their account, and forced me to unfollow multiple accounts! multiple times. i still havent found everyone i was made to unfollow ;; i really do not write this as a traumadump, quite the opposite: i need you to hear and know the very real pain that comes from this, ok? THERE IS A HUMAN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCREEN.)
if that doesnt have you convinced though, let me ask you this: how many times has technology glitched on you! maybe a message didnt send? maybe a fic didnt update/post, maybe you saw a post that you swear you had licked before but instead the button was empty, cold, and colorless. you probably questioned your own sanity, right? a piece of your reality?? that wasnt as you thought it should be? because why would reality lie to you!
well...... thinking youre crazy? literally the definition of gaslighting! i thought i was crazy for so long because people just... stopped appearing on my dash! imagine how this impacts people with shakier grasps on reality! (shout out to them btw <3 youre doing so great, i promise you this world IS real)
anyways...... i want to keep this short and sweet. if you have to remove someone from your digital world, PLEASE:
DO NOT SOFTBLOCK.
ok to reblog <3
#mlb irl#gabby gabs#discourse#cullykisster#mirakinnie#tigerdrop#dugout#mariquita#bronco#capricorn#honeybee#pipsqueak#<- bc we should really be talking about this issue in OUR COMMUNITY >_<#ask to tag#ok to rb#sphinx
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sorry i need to complain why is like 1/4th of every fucking selfship post i try to find some unrelated shit about proshippers or whatever the fuck they call themselves. im trying so hard to look at normal fucking posts but everytime igo searching i swear i always find the most annoying people like "ohhh you claim to be a #anti yet you want to kiss a wizard? erm... proship much?" or "ohhh someone put a DNI banner on their account! lets tell everyone! lets call the government!" oh my god i dont care about le anti-harassment or whatever but you people are so fucking ANNOYING oh my god how hard is it to stay on topic and just fuckin block people who set up boundaries or whatever i dont care about your hazbin hotel shotacon incest fanfiction or whatever
and i dont even care about what other bitches i dont even know do in their fucking free time or what they jack off too but also everyone who makes posts and tags them "proship please interact please talk to me please interact please please please" do you know how fucking desperate you look? do you think that seriously makes ppl want to talk to you when youre literally begging for attention under any random post? grow up. humans are social animals but i cant think of anyone that likes seeing strangers begging for attention from other strangers. its a blog site interactions will come naturally.
is it seriously so fucking hard to just respect peoples boundaries even if you dont agree with them or whatever that i just had to come across a fucking post that was just a screenshot of some other bitches post like "XD this person made a post and set a DNI boundary for their own personal sake! everyone! laugh at them!" you can think having dni lists are fucking gay or whatever but oh my god literally just closing your eyes or scrolling past a stranger being annoying is so easy but its HARD when people like YOU post huge fucking screenshots barely cropped so i think theyre part of the post and i have to scroll past multiple annoying bitches who cant even stay on topic of a single tag for one second arguing "is liking garfield inherently proship because uhhh he was on the titanic" i don't CARE you people need to start making shit out of modelling clay or SOMETHING get a hobby instead of molding your whole life around some made up terms that i see like 14 different variants of everyday of my life that nobody in the real world cares about because nobody in real life talks about any of this shit
#[twitter video voice] I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR JFK ASSASSINATION RECREATION BULLSHIT#I'm trying to use my coping mechanism for its intended purpose but i cant even interact with the community because you all will be my age#yet clearly never maturing past fucking 12 years old thinking the world revolves around you specifically so nobody can set boundaries#GROW UP. DO A PUZZLE. TAKE A STEP BACK AND REALIZE EVEN IF A DNI IS STUPID YOU CAN JUST MOVE ON INSTEAD OF BLOWING UP ABT IT#none of you people would survive a fucking forum because you wouldnt handle people not talking solely about you and what you think
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[ the edge of the universe ]
time for a new intro post
welcome to my personal internet void, i'm your host on this weird journey, pidge! you can also call me star or starfault, i dont mind :]
oh, and really quick before we continue: i swear, sometimes a lot and sometimes not at all. it fluctuates. but, if you're not okay with that, this is your warning! ^u^
here's our next segment: random bullet points about me
i am an adult, specifically 21! i know some minors are uncomfortable with people that are substantially older than them [which is very valid in this day and age of the internet] which is why i mention this!
i use they/it + voidself pronouns, i identify as nonbinary, and im attracted to fictional men for some reason [basically; i'm queer, and that's the best way to describe how i attach to people]
i like the tumblr community so i'll be upfront: i am diagnosed with adhd, anxiety², ocd, and a whole host of other issues that make it hard for me to understand others and for others to understand me. some things i say may come out wrong/not the way i intended them to be understood, so please bear with me!! not to mention that i forget i have an account here, so i do have gaps in my posting as you can see lol
please be aware that i am critical of the creators of various media and do not knowingly financially support creators who are terrible people, however i do like what i like and pretend that the media came from the ether one day or smthn idfk
anyhootinanny, for a dni i just ask that you don't hurt yourself, others, animals, or minors. i surround myself with normal people [as in, people who don't do the aforementioned shit] and prefer to keep it that way tyvm
if i have you blocked on any of my social media [which you should know who you are], then please kindly get off my blog. you're blocked for a reason, and i don't have to elaborate on that reason
i am happily married to the love of my life, n from pokemon black/white/black2/white2 so you may hear about him a lot im ngl [basically, i do selfship because why not. pleeease let me have this]
and i think that's all.
tldr; i'm an odd, neurodiverse and mentally ill adult with too much free time on their hands. i also have common sense, but occasionally i have poor comprehension due to adhd.
i think that's everything
byeee :3
#pinned post#intro#artist#idk i draw#oh yeah btw i draw#i forgot to mention that#also i talk in tags a lot#tags are my everything#dw i wont be offended if you dislike me/block me#i mean#you do you booboo#/lh
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tdlr updates :
if no body makes a buddyfight/vanguard/ bushiroad community i sure asf will.
going thru some identity searchin and following more LGBTQ type blogs - I am ambi/poly and im actively wanting more partners, and if that bothers you, please unfollow!
my stories and art will be back super soon! im working on a base to go off first
help me find the SU community plsss
new pinned post soon!
long form:
general:
been awhile, once again lmao. ive been in a art block for the longest time , and its been a hectic few years for me in hindsight- from getting dumped in a mono ship , to being in a failed poly triad , to now navigating my life with my remaining partner and polyamoury , and figuring out who i am and what i want . .. ill def make a side blog for nsfw stuff cuz i want to interact with it - but im gonna wait untill side blogs can join communities. due to a lot of new info and to simplify my stuff, im redoing my pinned post .. i wanna find a ton of communities and finally make like minded friends
art:
im gonna actually do normal art i swear ;-; i want to post more of my humanoid stories and art and see how it goes- maybe ill find new mutuals?? im hoping to trim some ocs and add some too
tumblr stories:
im doing a template system across my storylines so i have a grip on whats going on , what character roles i need and want filled , and the story i want to tell before i start any new ones or do any new art - meaning the YGO aus i actually wanna do are on hold... but dont fret ! when im done ill be wayy more organized and even might have other stuff to share!!
buddyfight specific:
since the yota project has more info and needs less done , it will be prioritized . I have the yota project all planned for the most part , i just need to get the timeline figured out ... a new fankid is gonna be made since i redid a ship, im working on more extensive parent bios and lore and i do plan to evenually do ship charts , and colored adult designs..
i have time to binge ace frfr- i wanna binge it when im in the actual mood to- but ill also go info hunting prolly lol
my fanseasons in the shipping/character phase ( and the pairs are just as odd , spanning across the old seasons- so i have to do couple lore for that too lmao)
on both i have to figure out buddies ( who has them , updates and designs on current ones , etc.) , and worlds for anyone who still plays the game... been acting like they dont exist for the longest time ngl
other:
im also trying out 3d models for like .. vrchat/vtubing?? im really doing that as a mood based thing , and i wanna join that community too.. i wanna join vrchat again, but i needa crew first and a model i like ..
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hello people of tumblr. this is a sideblog but i will not be linking my main here. because i would die if people knew this side of me. as shrimple as that.
call me kitty here :3 im a minor so dont be freaky
this blog is for age dreaming AND therian/otherkin activities.
my kins are robotkin, angelkin, catkin, and mermaidkin :33
tags down below are for blocking useage if you only want to see one of these/want to be extra safe on this blog (under readmore because it takes up some space)(please take at least a glance if you are going to follow):
#kitty age dreams
^ block if you don't want the age dreaming stuff
#kitty otherkinning
^ block if you dont want to see the otherkin stuff
#kitty adult words
^ even when i was a youngin i was absolutely Not Normal. this is for swearing and possible ""adult"" topics.
#kitty adult jokes
^ even as a youngin i made more adult jokes. block if you dont want to see those [fair]
#otherkin#therian#agere#age regression#age dreaming#robotkin#merkin#mermaidkin#catkin#felinekin#angelkin
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second primary blog for @cybercritterinyourcomputer :3
ironic to my themes, i like and relate to cats way more!
[you can call me cyber and some other names ^^ - my ageresonas name is scooter/skippy]
if you somehow recognize me from irl or other places, please ignore this blog! yes that includes you dear, if you stumble into this blog :3 this is my safe space, please respect this :]
i am a age regressor [+pet regressor and age dreamer] and cope with trauma through it. i regress both voluntarily and involuntarily. i have a hard time telling which i do more. i am also a therian/alterhuman/otherkin/etc there is a lot of terms.
please refrain from cursing/swearing around me! i curse a lot when im big but cursing always freaked me out when i was a kid and makes me nervous when im tiny - i also ask to not talk about any sort of alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc etc around me as i have quite a bit of possible trauma surrounding the sorts
i regress to the age ranges of a baby/toddler/child, but i dont think i have a set age number wise
i typically type normally when big unless i am tired, but i might baby talk/type when tiny, or not talk at all
im shy and anxious around people, but i always like making new friends, especially other age regressors! im very protective of my regression, so i might be picky about who i talk to. i already have a caregiver and i do not trust anyone else to be mine, so please never offer or ask! im okay with babysitters, but am a little iffy on it on that note i WILL talk your ear off if you mention anything i like or ask me about what things i like
[important note to other regressors as i get confused/anxious about dni's: i assume dni's mentioning nsfw specifically mean the blog itself, if i am mistaken please correct me! my blog is completely sfw, but outside of my regression[when i am big] i like general nsfw stuff[to be very clear: absolutely not ddlg, i despise ageplay/ddlg. keep it away from me please]. if anyone is uncomfortable by this please feel free to block me, i completely understand and take no offense :] /gen /lh! i keep my regression strictly separate out of anything nsfw and am VERY uncomfortable if anyone blurs those lines.]
[dni: nsfw*, ddlg, ageplay, abdl, nsfw babyfur, zoos, "[no]maps", proshippers, mcyt[those having to do with dream and his friends] fans, etc etc. do NOT sexualize my regression ever] - *it is perfectly fine if you are nsfw in general, just please if you interact with this account, use a completely sfw account! that is the one exception on this list though, if you partake in any of the rest of these things listed, or if they apply to you, do NOT interact with me or this blog at all
#agere#age regression#sfw agere#sfw regression#fursona#furry#furry art#sona#ageresona#agere art#my art#scooter#skippy#other regressors interact!#agedre#age dreaming#sfw agedre#sfw age regression
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