#please don't yell at me for posting this

[heymrspatel]

hey, have you ever thought about the fact that ian gets the courage to come out to fiona while sitting in his little twin bed? the same little bed he sits on to get ready on the morning of his wedding? to yank his fiance forward? to kiss him and promise him their future? hmm?

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

i like to imagine that as soon as the words "someone arrived today, they said they're taking you away" left calypso's mouth, odysseus "sat at the beach every day for 7 years crying for his wife & son" of ithaca immediately jumped up wiped his tears away

then swiftly (without a glance at calypso), walked over to a bush/foliage near the beach and grabbed all the stuff he had been accumulating for 7 years during his prison stay, ready for the day he can leave this place.

[tzarrz]

to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u

[destielmemenews]

Due to a lot of feedback on the nature of this blog, and how the meme format can come across as insensitive and shameless, I'm considering switching to a news only post format, without the use of the destiel meme. I greatly enjoy sharing information about current events, and would like to continue doing so in some way.

So I am making this poll to ask everyone their opinion on the way I do things, and for suggestions to improve my content.

[egophiliac]

Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it

hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS

PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:

unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal

the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing

has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again

(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)

based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?

has canonically worn Dad Shorts

CONS:

(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)

NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties

despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)

currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything

Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family

???:

turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess

all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!

[starving-mimi]

copies

and now as a sidenote, it's time for mimi rambling/ PSA ! (which might sounds dickish here and there)

I've seen an absolute sudden increase in "daily [characters] blog"[which consist, for those who don't know, of drawing a certain character or thing everyday (or trying to)] and as somebody who's been posting daily for over 2 years (if you ignore small breaks i took on rarer occasion here and there) I feel like I'm in a position where I can say things about these kinds of blogs.

if you're the owner of one of these kind blogs or think about making one, this message's for you

to current owners of such blogs:

do not FORCE yourself to draw/post everyday, much less MULTIPLE TIMES a day

even though it's the goal of these kinds of blogs, do not tell yourself that just because it has DAILY in the name, you NEED to post everyday. Use queue if needed, don't post if you don't feel like it.

You're going to burnout sooo quickly if you just draw slop because you don't want to skip a day, no one LIKES slop posts made just to fill in the day, trust me, i have many! No one is going to hunt you down for forgetting a day or even mention it to you or anything! (or at worse if you know you'll have a period of innactivity, make a post about it to your followers that you can later delete if you really want)

Don't try answering requests as soon as possible just because you don't want to "disappoint" people or whatever! you owe people nothing, and especially not a "quick reply", again, you'll burn out if you force yourself into doing people's request

also this might be more of a personal opinion, but, please keep it to posting once a day (or like twice if absolutely needed), if you're just going to post a ton a day, might as well just post to a main where you just so happen to also post daily (also lazier posts made only because you want to rush multiple drawings every day are just bruh.)

to people considering making one of these blogs:

honestly, don't. You want to challenge yourself into drawing everyday? Do that on your main blog! You have too many doodles/art and want to post it all? Post it on your main! Don't put yourself under the limitations of having a blog specifically for DAILY posting, especially for a SINGLE character. Even if you love a character, you WILL get bored/burned out/just out of ideas for what to even draw with only ONE character

Sure it's cool and everyone else is doing it, but you're also putting yourself under unnecessary stress and limits. Not only your art, but yourself will suffer of these limits eventually

You trust and know yourself enough to know you WILL post daily on that blog? AND won't let it take so much over your life and schedule that you feel terrible when you don't post/decide to abandon it? Then make one, who am i to stop you ig

You wanna make one on a whim because everyone else is doing it and it looks fun? But you don't know if you're going to actually hold up to posting everyday? Yet again, don't. Don't make one. Just post on your account, let people know you by your username, not because of some gimmick (like I mean, ppl know me as (starving-)mimi, not as "daily dst funny" or whatever, do you really want to be only known as "that person who draws [character] everyday" and not as yourself? If you do then ig go make one, but I think it's much nicer to be recognised for who you are than to be just known as "that person who draws a character daily")

tl;dr: don't put yourself under the curse of silly daily posting on a whim just because everyone else is doing it and it's the current trend, and don't post slop art just because you don't want to skip a day POST SLOP BECAUSE YOU WANNA TORTURE PEOPLE WITH IT BHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA cough, i mean. cough.

this might all seems very obvious, but i think people don't realise that daily posting isn't always as fun as it seems :')

TL;DR FOR THE TL;DR post daily cuz you got too much stuff to post that is just too good to all dump in a single post, not just because everyone else is doing it and you find the people daily posting cool and want to get in on the trend

[lazylittledragon]

right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"

[sage-lights]

with you, there's no pretending

word count: 2165 chapter: 1/? Ever since freshman orientation, when Angela first noticed Amanda sitting in the gym bleachers, she’d been head-over-heels in love with her.

Angela was going to kill Arasha.  

Earlier that week, Arasha asked Angela if she could interview her about playing Grace Chasity in their high school’s upcoming production of Nerdy Prudes Must Die. Arasha eagerly volunteered to write this article for her journalism class, hoping that Angela’s insight would help her assignment stand out. Angela knew her friend had been working all year to impress her teacher and secure the position of Editor-in-Chief for the next school year.  

Just for fun, Angela made her best friend beg, playfully acting stubborn and difficult about the request—much to Chanse's amusement, who had a blast recording the whole thing and laughing at the two of them. In the end, Angela agreed, and the girls made plans to meet at their favorite local coffee shop on Saturday.  

That morning, she took Spork to the vet for a routine checkup, which, thankfully, hadn’t taken longer than anticipated. After making a quick stop to drop him off at home, Angela arrived at the coffee shop just in time to find a table near the back before the usual afternoon rush filled the place. She sat facing the door so Arasha could easily spot her when she arrived, then mindlessly scrolled on her phone to pass the time.  

Out of the corner of her eye, Angela noticed a girl with long, wavy brunette hair enter the coffee shop. She looked up, expecting to see her friend rushing over to greet her. But instead, in her place stood Amanda Lehan-Canto.  

Ever since freshman orientation, when Angela first noticed Amanda sitting in the gym bleachers, she’d been head-over-heels in love with her. She remembered leaning over and whispering (a little too loudly judging from the pointed looks the kids in front of them had given her) to ask Chanse who the new girl was.  

“Who are you talking about? There’s like a million people here,” Chanse responded, wildly swiveling his head around trying to figure out who Angela was referring to.  

Angela slapped his arm and pointed discreetly to the girl a couple of rows above them, “Over there, idiot!”  

“Oooooooh, someone’s got a crushhhhhh!”  

“Stop it! Could you be any more obvious?” She sunk further into her seat, “Do you know who she is or not?”  

“Nope, but I could find out.”  

Later, Angela learned her name and that she’d just moved to Los Angeles from Boston. Despite Chanse’s insistence that Angela should introduce herself and befriend her, Angela just hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it.  

That was almost four years ago, and even now in their senior year, Angela was no closer to Amanda than when she first laid eyes on her. Even when they’d been in the same AP Psychology class sophomore year, Angela had always been too nervous to say more than a few pleasantries. She didn’t want to come off as overly eager or that she was scaring Amanda away.

Angela admired Amanda from afar, how she greeted a table of friends with hugs and a “How are you?” and how freely she chatted and laughed with the baristas. The coffee shop seemed to brighten with her presence. 

But then Amanda turned and met Angela’s gaze. Shit, she’d been caught staring. Angela tried her best to recover, her face reddening. She turned in the other direction, pretending to search through her tote bag for something. She fumbled with her AirPods and pulled out a book, quickly flipping it open to her bookmarked page.  

“Hey! Angela, right?” Oh no, Angela recognized that voice. She glanced up at the girl speaking to her. Thank goodness for all those acting classes that taught her how to mask her emotions. She hoped her face looked calm and nonchalant, but also friendly and inviting. Oh, and maybe cool and suave as well. Honestly, Angela would take anything over looking overwhelmed at the fact that her long-time crush was now talking to her.  

“That’s me!” Just be cool.  

Amanda sat down in the seat across from her, and that’s when the panic really set in. “I’m Amanda. We had AP Psych with Mr. Hecox together.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right!” She prayed that her voice wouldn’t embarrassingly start cracking, “His class was definitely an interesting one, especially with the random dark jokes he’d thrown into the middle of his presentations.”  

Amanda chuckled lightly at her comment, and Angela felt her smile widen and her shoulders loosen. But when there was no indication of her leaving, Angela got nervous again.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to sound rude, but is there a reason you sat down? Not that I mind talking to you. Not at all. It’s just, um, I’m meeting my friend, Arasha, here in a little bit—oh, you might know her from Journalism then. Since you’re the Editor-in-Chief this year, right? Well, so you probably know that she’s writing a piece on the school’s musical, and she asked to interview me. So, I don’t think you can stay here for long. Oh my god, I sound super rude right now, don’t I? Shoot, I swear I—,” 

“Angela, breathe,” Amanda leaned forward and placed a hand over hers, interrupting her rambling. A thousand questions began spinning around in her head. Can she tell I’m freaking out? Is my hand abnormally sweaty? Am I making a fool of myself right now? Is she this touchy with everyone? Why. Is she. Touching. My hand?!

So much for keeping it cool.

“Did Arasha not tell you? I’m actually filling in for her. She messaged our class on Slack this morning asking if someone could take over because she woke up super sick,” Amanda explained.

“Oh shoot, maybe I missed that text from her,” Angela opened her texts with Arasha and briefly scrolled through to check even though she knows for certain that this a certified Arasha prank.

angela: you’re kidding me arash no way you’re sick

Immediately, Angela got a response. She could just picture Arasha’s smug face.

arasha: oh yeahhh i’m totally sneezing up a storm rn

angela: arasha lalani more like arasha lie-lani

arasha: lame but you’ll thank me later now go have fun on your date! but not too much fun ;’)

angela: NOT A DATE i hate you sm

arasha: you’re welcomeee

Amanda raised an eyebrow playfully, “Everything good with Arasha?”

“Yeah, everything’s good,” Angela fumbles with her phone again, shoving into the pocket of her zip up hoodie without even turning it off.

“Okay, good.”

“Good.” Oh no, did I just make it weird?

Amanda pulls her laptop out of her purse, “Ready to get started then?”

“Let’s do this thing.”

Amanda readied her fingers over the keys and looked over at Angela, ready to take notes like a professional journalist. “So, what can audiences expect from your performance as Grace Chasity in Nerdy Prudes Must Die?”

“Soup,” Angela answers cheekily.

“I’m sorry, soup?”

“Yep, soup! I mean who doesn’t like soup? A classic chicken noodle? Or a butternut squash soup?” Angela gasps animatedly, “What about a garlic tomato bisque? With a grilled cheese?! Come on, how could anyone hate soup?”

Amanda chimes in with a grin, “Broccoli cheddar though? Very divisive, I will say!”

“Ugh! I do secretly love a broccoli cheddar!”

“So do I! But have to ask again, Angela, what does this have to do with Grace Chasity?”

“You’ll have to wait and see. I will say though, Grace’s preferred soup is definitely dirty.”

Amanda laughs, “I feel like you’re purposely trying to confuse me now.”

“Gotta sell tickets somehow, Amanda!” She winks, to which Amanda laughs again. That sound, the resonance of it, settles into Angela’s chest and fills her with a blooming warmth. 

As the interview progressed, Angela’s initial jitters fade away. Each question Amanda asked felt less like an interrogation and more like a conversation she’d have with friends. By the time they reached the final question, she realized she’d very much enjoyed Amanda’s company.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” Amanda closed her laptop and slipped it back into her bag. “Thank you again for doing this interview with me. I know I’m not who you were expecting, but I’m glad I got to chat about the musical with you anyway.”

Angela shook her head bashfully. “Of course, it was no problem.”

They both gathered the rest of their things and stood up, though Amanda suddenly moved in for a hug. Angela returned the embrace, even though she was still a little shell-shocked from the whole afternoon. Note to self: Amanda’s a hugger.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Amanda pulled away. “I always forget not everyone’s down for physical touch, and then I go and make it uncomfortable by hugging you.”

“No, it was alright. Don’t worry about it,” smiled Angela, reassuring Amanda. Neither of the girls said anything after that, leaving them staring at each other in awkward silence for a little too long. At least, it was awkward for Angela, given the whole “I’m in love with you” part. She really hoped she wasn’t smiling too much like an idiot. Maybe she should stop smiling. No, that would be off-putting as hell to randomly stop smiling. Maybe she should say somethi—

Amanda cleared her throat, “It was nice talking to you. I hope to see you around sometime.” Phew.

She waved to the retreating Amanda, “Yeah, I’ll see you around.” But there was still a voice inside her that urged her to say something more. This is your chance, Angela!

“Wait!” Angela called out, causing Amanda to turn back around. “You should, um, get my number. You know, just in case you have any more questions while you write the article.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Amanda handed Angela her phone with an amused expression. Angela carefully entered her information on the new contact page and passed it back to Amanda before saying a last goodbye and letting Amanda walk out.

Angela blinked a couple of times, hoping to snap back into the present. It didn’t help—she was too dazed from the whole interaction. Amanda Lehan-Canto had just talked to her. Holy. Shit.

After collecting herself a little more, she hopped in her car and drove home. Every moment of their conversation replayed in Angela’s mind: the answers she had given, the stupid jokes she had cracked, the way Amanda had sounded when she laughed. She pinched her arm over and over again to prove to herself that this all really happened.

As she pulled into the driveway, her phone lit up with a notification from her group chat with Chanse and Arasha—it was unfortunately named “ANGELAAAAAAA!” after the way her friends often called her name in disappointment.

arasha: your location says you’re home angela spill how did it go

angela: wtf are you stalking me

arasha: that’s beside the point

chanse: explainnnn pleaseee

arasha:  i set ang up on a date with amanda lehan cantooooooooo

chanse: A DATE?!

angela: NOT! A! DATE!!! it was an interview that arasha FLAKED ON

arasha: semantics

chanse: HOW DID IT GO

angela: it was chill she asked me about nerdy prudes and i gave her my number in case she had follow up questions

chanse: you gave her your number???? damn ang is finally make some moves took you long enough

arasha: YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME MAN she would still be sitting on her ass pining away if it weren’t for me

angela: jeez it was just a casual thing calm yourselves

chanse: why don’t you text her and say you forgot to mention something earlier just to get the convo rolling

angela: um bitch i’m tryna play it cool here don’t wanna seem too eager plus i just realized i didn’t get her number…

chanse: angelaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dude you fumbled that big time

arasha: i put in so much work to make that happen and you fucked it wasted effort

chanse: you idiot i cannot believe you

arasha: you got no game fr

angela: Y’ALL I WAS PANICKING CAN YOU BE A LITTLE MORE GENTLE

chanse: no you don’t get a pass for this arash do you have her number

arasha: nah we text on slack also it would be hella strange if ang had her number without asking directly

chanse: ugh true i guess

At this point, she had made it up the stairs and into her bedroom. Frustrated with her friends, Angela tossed her phone onto her bed before promptly flopping down and burying her face into the pillows. And then, she screamed. So loud and so long that she barely heard the “ding” of a new notification.

Angela rolled over and felt around for her phone, already groaning at what she expected to be another annoying message from her annoying friends.

unknown number: hey this is amanda

Her eyes widened.

unknown number: i realized way too late that i never gave you my number so i thought i’d shoot you a text so you could saved it too :)

Angela threw her phone again and went back to screaming.

a lil author's note: i started this amangela high school au a longggg time ago, practically when this blog started because it's one of my favorite tropes to mull around in my mind. funnily enough, this first chapter was written for the smosh girlies week back in feb, but i deleted the whole thing because i hated what i wrote, so the first draft has been lost to time. then, i wrote it again and abandoned it again. it wasn't until my wonderful friend @babychosen asked me about it recently that i decided to revisit it and finally finish it for all y'all to enjoy! this is for @babychosen, @unknownteapot, @poppyfamily, and @shesmore-shoebill. thanks guys for always yelling about amangela with me <3

[having-a-hyperfixate]

Don’t mind me sprinting to try and get this thought in order before the Anime Expo panel. I need it to be out in the wild Just In Case.

So, a few of the Gung Ho Guns have gotten reworked for Stampede, yes? To varying degrees.

Ninelives is apparently not a horrific flesh mech, Dark Souls boss thing, according to the end credits of episode 3.

E.G. the Mine just got a HUGE upgrade and didn’t get owned 3 seconds after he showed up.

Monev was an actual character with a fubar backstory and emotional impact instead of just Some Guy who trained in a basement for years specifically to kill Vash. (and Orange is SO EVIL for this)

Elendira is. *gestures futilely* There is so much going on there but yeah. She’s going to be terrifying once she achieves adult body and loses (drops?) the childish attitude. Also because of the whole Plant hybrid thing her nails truly are literally infinite sooooo.

So I have some thoughts about Hoppered the Gauntlet.

In Trimax, Gauntlet’s narrative weight comes from the fact that he makes Vash remember, which by extension makes US, the reader, understand what July really meant. Before that we had heard mention of it a few times as ‘a city destroyed in a single night’ and talk of there being ‘no survivors’ but we had no actual connection to it, and also no real idea if that was even true. But in Stampede, we saw July happen. We were there. So even if Vash’s memory is still shot afterwards, and he doesn’t remember Lost July, we the audience DO. So having the Dragon’s nest play out exactly the same isn’t going to have the same narrative punch in the gut that it did in Trimax. It can’t.

There’s also the fact that, given how we’ve met most of the major players in the story, or had them mentioned at least (hi Milly), it feels kind of Odd™ that we haven’t seen someone has emotionally impactful as Gauntlet yet.

Unless we have.

We saw with Rollo/Monev that Orange is willing to have the person’s regular name be one thing and then have a second Eye of Michael code name. I suspect that is going to happen with Gauntlet; either because EoM or because he has decided on his own to lie about who he was.

And yes, I do in fact have someone in mind.

I checked myself the translation there is accurate; the only change I would make is calling the gun ‘gaudy’ instead of ‘shiny’ but that’s not a huge deal. Also for the record, the original tweet is from Jan. 11, well before he makes his reappearance for the season finale. So when it talks about a ‘reappearance’, it is talking about seeing him again in July. Original tweet here, tweet containing the translation here.

I think Chuck Lee is going to be our Gauntlet. That he made it just far enough out of the city to survive, but that he was badly maimed in the process, and that his family didn’t make it. He’s the ONLY member of the military police with a unique design. He has an actual name, and the director himself tweeted about his backstory. His gun is so unusual that we would recognize it anywhere. Hell, I referred to him as ‘the gold gun guy from episode one’ when one of my friends didn’t recognize him immediately. His gun is so incredibly recognizable. Almost like we need to be able to recognize him by that alone, when everything else about him has changed.

THIS could be how narrative weight for Gauntlet is established in the Stampede universe when it can’t be done the same way as in Trimax. Taking a character who has, in a way, also been with the audience ALL ALONG, who was there with us for two pivitol moments, the beginning and the awakening, but who comes at it from such a horrifically different angle and bringing him back in such an agonizing way. Because he was very much in the wrong with his stunt at Jeneora Rock, but his rage over the loss of his family in July would be justified, even if we know it wasn’t Vash’s fault.

(Also, the IRONY of him ending up as one of Knives’s lackeys when Knives is the one that caused all of this? Damn.)

Footnote: I have Thoughts on why they can get away with adding Milly to The Squad late. That is a whole other Thought but tldr; (and also I haven’t actually written it out) Milly is the most perceptive of all of them she doesn’t NEED an extended intro to Vash to Know.

[call-me-copycat]

No hate to any creators at all but. I honestly can't escape her :⁠-⁠(

I just want to see Aizawa content without her in it >⁠.⁠< Worse still, if you say you don't like seeing a "pure innocent and sweet" character then people will get upset with you (as I've found). So her name is redacted even though I'm sure I've made it clear in the past

Mild complaint post, please don't take it seriously. I can and will live (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ but I'm bound to get shaken up after seeing her on my dash every single day and in almost every Aizawa artwork after that last chapter (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠) You can't be an Aizawa fan without seeing her

...

Feel free to use this image or edit it for whatever you want, it's a quick doodle of mine so I don't really mind ┐⁠(⁠‘⁠～⁠`⁠;⁠)⁠┌

[son-of-natalie]

Chapters: 2/28 Fandom: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Magnus Chase/Alex Fierro Summary:

Magnus Chase has spent the past three years running from a promise he made on the Ship of the Dead. Alex Fierro has spent those years desperately trying to shield her heart. When a little girl with strange powers shows up at the Chase Space, they're both pushed to come clean. About what holds them back, their fears and themselves.

...

hey so I wrote a thing... 

if you’re looking for a long fierrochase, post ship of the dead fic about overcoming fears, keeping promises and people who are terrible at communicating - look no further! 

[soviet-siscon]

i dont know who else to tell this to so please feel free to ignore. its about being treated like a rapist, so again, please, feel free to ignore it, or wait to respond, or whatever. i just feel like i need to tell someone or im gonna explode with guilt and shame

a couple days ago i met a girl online in a trans discord, and she was cool! she kept bugs, and even knew all their scientific names, and seemed to be really sweet. she was also pretty much exactly my age, only two months older than I. we talked for about three days half flirting all throughout, her calling me gay and shit, before she started making comments about how "curvy" i was. of course, thinking since were just texting states apart and both too broke to bridge the gap, i shot back with "well thats just the top complimenting my figure, but if youre nice you can see without," thinking it was just playful, to a definitively positive response

a little bit later she said "I love you" then deleted it, which i thought was a dumb joke, so i said "i have known you for less than a week lmao" and she was like "lol i was just testing ur reaction." in my head, that was her testing if i was gonna say it back to be sure i wasnt gonna try and get obsessed and say it back i guess, but is obviously not the case looking back

a couple hours later, after what i thought to be "signs she wants to mess around", ex. bringing back up the "if youre nice" comment, and just being generally flirtier than usual, i go for it. she responds positively, but after a couple minutes says "okay wait can you keep a secret? my ex raped me"

of course we pause for a minute, i give her support and whatnot, and i ask "do you want to stop that stuff then?" and she says "im ace, but its cool" then continues being flirty, so i had assumed its just a complicated identity i guess? idfk. in hindsight, i shouldve stopped us immediately, but i didnt.

the rest happens yadda yadda thats not the point of the story, but it may be important to note shes the slightly more dominant one here, so i dont think i was super capable of forcing her hand into all of this i dont think... i hope. i dont know. i mean thats the point of this ask

she asks "can we fall asleep on call?"

keep in mind we were just texting this entire time. in my head this is just cuz she likes alot of aftercare, and its 2 am so i dont mind, it probably wont take long- but now i shouldve realized "wait that sounds really attached," yet i dont, again, like an idiot

in the morning she wakes up at 7 and immediately texts me like "i couldnt find my phone and i was gonna be so upset cuz i only didnt sleep in another hour to talk to u haha"

*thats* when it finally hits me, so i explain

"youre seeming kind of obsessive for knowing me only a couple days.. its making me feel uncomfortable and like im taking advantage, since youre ace and all"

she says "no youre not, but if you want me to go ill go"

skipping past like 10 minutes of apologizing from both of us, i block her out of shame, leave the server we met in, and stare at the ceiling listening to music for a while

about 30 minutes before starting to write this, though, an account named "fuckyou[anon]" friends me

(to note, none of this has been direct quotes bc she blocked me back and i cant find her first account now, but this is)

"oh your sorry? if i trusted you with information of me being raped having trauma from that shit and you still got me to fucking do it. you pretended like you fucking loved me to get off and i hope you know your a vile sack of shit

admit what you did

over text

right now

you cant just apologize here this isnt going away

i hope you know i relapsed"

i feel so fucking evil but in my head logically i dont feel like i was consciously taking advantage of her is it even more evil to want to be told its not my fault? i dont know, i feel awful, im tearing up as i write this with a pit in my stomach. if i was evil for this, how can i possibly live with myself? thats not a threat to commit suicide or anything, but just. an existential question. if i cope with it im even worse for ignoring what happened, if i dont then im wallowing in shame over a single night.

please help. i cant trust myself to know if i truly was being awful and manipulative. try and ignore all the biases probably apparent in my writing, i dont want to be lied to for my own sake. what can i do to make it right, if anything will?

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Oh sweetie I'm really sorry, that's such a stressful horrible situation to end up in. Even if you had done something wrong that would absolutely not be an appropriate response and the way you're feeling about it is not something you deserve to experience.

I know you're also worried about a biased perspective here but there isn't a way to tell your side of it that isn't, you've done a good job explaining your reasoning.

this girl sounds like she has really bad attachment issues and is absolutely taking that out on you.

As for being manipulative: the main options here are basically A) You weren't and even seemingly tried to cover a lot of your bases to make sure she was comfortable, or B) you played into things hoping to get reactions you wanted in a way that literally anyone else does in that situation, that's kinda just how flirting with people goes.

Realistic scenario: You had a communication issue and it got out of hand.

Worst case scenario: You maybe could have handled things a tiny bit better.

Pretend worst case scenario from social anxiety world: you are a such an expert manipulator you don't even realise it and then feel existentially guilty over it afterwards, you could manipulate your way into heaven and not notice and accidentally abuse god herself < this one isn't true

You told her you felt like you were taking advantage of her and she said you weren't. She said she can go if you want. eventually you blocked her (going) and her response was to make a burner account and call you a vile sack of shit and make you feel like a rapist and admit to everything you've ever done wrong.

Absolutely do not try and keep talking to her, that'll get SO SO much worse. There is basically nothing you ever could have done by flirting, sexting or asserting boundaries that could justify or is worse than harassment and block evading. I'm obviously sympathetic to her mental health issues because it's a situation that leaves you with a fucked sense of self esteem, but she was playing weird emotional games with you and then suddenly it's your fault.

Someone telling you personal information isn't something that makes you a monster for leaving them. that's something forced upon you that you then get blamed for "because I trusted you". EVEN if you pushed her in a way she felt uncomfortable with and never verbalised, you literally did not know that. you told her you felt like you were taking advantage of her and she said you weren't. so EVEN if you had hurt her she would be keeping that quiet and then using it as justification later, which is fucked and a terrible way to treat someone.

Absolutely the best thing to do in this situation is block, maybe try explaining the situation to any mutual friends but be prepared for maybe some fallout, and then try and forget. I've been in similar but less fucked situations and there's really nothing good that comes out of getting back involved with her.

someone screaming at you while you walk away from them isn't a situation you're making worse by leaving. blaming you for her relapsing in fucking horrible and something people do specifically to hurt someone, yes she sounds very emotionally hurt but girl you gotta get out of there yesterday if you haven't already. that's a situation that'll only get worse.

consider yourself lucky you only got grazed instead of taking the whole bullet. you did a good job trying to pick up on warning signs even if you sometimes ignored them. this situation isn't your fault and i guess isn't necessarily hers either. it's just one of those messy horrible situations that happens sometimes and feels like a joke. I've unfortunately been there many many times.

you are not a fucking bad person for wanting to be told it's ok and not your fault. I'm really really sorry you feel like you are. It's something that happened, it's something you've thought through and realised where you might have done things wrong. crucially YOU DID NOT KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! you didn't know any of this was going to happen. you did a really good thing trying to assert boundaries when you did. if this didn't happen now it would have happened worse later. you're allowed to feel like it shouldn't have happened at all, i get that, but it did happen and you couldn't have known.

you're allowed to blame yourself for things you feel you *actually* did wrong, maybe like not communicating more clearly about what you wanted out of your texting, but stuff thrown in your face specifically to make you feel terrible is ultimately just feeling terrible for someone else. you're taking that upon yourself when you shouldn't. ultimately: feeling terrible won't help her either. you can beat yourself up all you want iut even if you actually had been evil and manipulative what goo would that do? and if she's trying to make you feel terrible then you're not redeeming yourself by hating yourself, you're just being miserable. it sounds like the best thing for her is to not talk again.

by the sounds of it you never told her you love her. it's absolutely not your fault she decided everything meant you did. you thought that was her trying to make sure you weren't too clingy, turns out maybe she was being a bit clingy (or maybe something else. idk, neither of us can read her mind). everything considered, you handled this really well actually.

maybe run yourself a nice bath or have something nice to eat? give yourself a big hug and tell yourself it's from me? I'm really sorry you've gone through this, it hits pretty close to home tbh and i know how it feels.

you aren't a rapist anon. you're not a manipulator or an abuser or a bad person. you're a human being who got into a weird confusing shitstorm on discord. if we all stopped existing because we had a messy miscommunication or tried to put our foot down over something there wouldn't be any people left lol. you're fine. you're alright. things will be ok, EVEN if they get worse for a bit. you'll be alright 🩷🫂

[typha-latifolia]

coming out of my hole momentarily to post this bc i'm so tired of seeing arguments against the dantayin theory having nothing holding them up except "i don't want ayin to be dante" or "it doesn't fit what i think" like please. sometimes the truth is uncomfortable and we don't like it. i will take the haters seriously once they step up holding some cold hard objective facts in their hands instead of "that's what i want"

[mitternacht]

UU Appreciation Week Day 3: A romance you appreciate

And to nobody's surprise... it's gotta be these guys.

I'm still in genuine awe at how beautifully everything was handled with these 3, and I could really talk for hours and hours about how much I love them but I'll try not to go on for too long!

As always, the rest below the cut for spoilers.

(PS I only want to be positive on this post but please. DNI if you see Leila and Latla as anything but platonic/familial. For my sake and yours. Thanks.)

Where to even start!

I suppose all things must start with Loop 100. Rip's all-consuming, unwavering devotion to saving Leila is something that very immediately endeared me to his character. I will always be the hugest sucker for a guy who will let the entire world burn for the one he loves, that shit means everything to me. He loves Leila so much that he would betray himself and his ideals for the rest of his life if it meant even just a chance at saving her, of seeing her again.

And therein lies the tragedy of him betraying Leila's final wish for him, which was to use his hands to save lives, and to move on from her. But I truly don't think Leila would blame him for doing what he did, even if it would make her feel guilty and sad, because she knows the kind of person Rip is. And Latla has also proven to be willing to do anything to help Rip achieve what's become his singular goal, I don't think there's any part of her that blames him for what he became either. And Rip sees this, and I know he feels so guilty for it regardless.

In Loop 100 I think he also deals with a lot of complicated feelings towards Latla. He very much has always had romantic feelings for her alongside Leila, but after Leila's death I don't think he knows how to handle those feelings. We see the fake, flirtatious mask that he puts on towards the beginning of the loop, that slowly drops over time and we start to see more and more of his true feelings. It might be a punishment for himself to not allow himself to act on his feelings for Latla, despite Leila's prompting for him to do so before her death.

And we have Latla. Latla, Latla, my sweetest girl. Latla, who loved the two most important people to her so much that she was willing to sacrifice every single bit of her own happiness just to ensure theirs. Even before Leila's death, Latla had long resolved to let Rip go despite her feelings for him, because she just wanted to see him and Leila happy. I think a part of her accepted letting Leila go as well, knowing that Leila wouldn't need her taking care of her after her heart surgery. She had fully resigned herself to a life of loneliness, just to ensure the happiness of the two she loved so much.

Of course, Leila and Rip never would've let that happen, but Latla had fully resigned herself to that as she continued distancing herself from them. And it's tragic, because Leila felt the exact same way and was prepared to do the same thing to allow Latla and Rip to be happy without her.

And the fear, Latla must have experienced on the day Leila dies. She was just a sliver away from losing Rip the same day she lost her sister, if she had just been a few seconds too late stopping Rip from taking his own life she would've lost them both the same day. Latla locks down her own feelings once again, and dedicates the rest of her time alive to reuniting Rip with Leila, even though she knows that means she gets left behind. Even though it means she continues to watch Rip make these dangerous strides without her, him never letting her close enough to even attempt to share any part of the burden.

She loves the two of them so much that she doesn't care what happens to her, as long as they get to be happy.

And it's such a tragedy that Rip and Latla are unable to confess the way they feel for each other in Loop 100, not until it's far too late.

And Leilaaaa my other sweetest girl. I can't imagine the frustration and guilt she dealt with, her whole life. She sees how much Latla and Rip sacrifice and give for her, and how frustrated she must be to be so physically unable to do anything in return for either of them. How many times has she tried to push Rip towards Latla, as she realizes they have romantic feelings for each other as well. She had long since accepted her terminal diagnosis, and I think there was a part of her that always knew she wasn't going to make it, deep down. And the fact that she tried so, so hard at the end to comfort the two of them as she was dying, I know she hated so much to take away the hope they'd been carrying for so many years.

And how many times has she convinced herself she wasn't worthy of everything the two of them did for her?

But love isn't something that needs to be earned, and Leila was always just as deserving of Rip's love as Latla was, regardless of physical deeds.

And Loop 101 really delivers on the happiest ending for all of them, and I couldn't have ever asked for anything more.

Rip and Latla finally get to share these romantic feelings they've both been harboring for years, unable to vocalize them until now. Rip finally, finally allows Latla to share his burden in the most physical sense, and Latla finally feels that she's allowed to be a part of Rip's life, that she can let herself back in slowly but surely. And Leila finally gets a chance to fight alongside the two of them, she finally gets a chance to not feel completely helpless, needing to rely on the other two.

And at the end of it all, they're finally able to bring peace to their child selves, to everything they've been working towards since they were young. And Rip didn’t have to choose, and neither Latla or Leila had to give up on their own happiness. Every promise is fulfilled, and it's still the three of them.

Despite everything, it's still the three of them.

[moongothic]

[significant-narratives]

sarah nurse on the leafs would fix us