#please don't talk to me about this again

[sorcerous-caress]

Hi! No rush or anything, but do you know when requests will reopen?

Short answer: no I don't know.

Long answer:

I closed them because I was getting overwhelmed, I would get more than 10 requests per day and if I replay to one another one immediately gets sent and takes its place.

And at first it was fine yk? I love writing and I love talking, I answered as much as I can of them per day and gave up hours of my life just to write some drabbles or fanfics.

But then it became apparent that they requests are just there for the requester to talk about their own stuff, not to have a discussion with me, not because they value my work and not because they plan on listening to what I have to say.

Even then, no matter how many I posted or replied to, I would be lucky to get a small thank you from someone. A nice comment or reblog was like a fever dream that happens once a week.

Instead I just get more requests, with total disregard to the work I just posted, just asking for more without any tact or politeness. And If I didn't reply the way they wanted? They would complain to me afterwards or send me a long anon ask explaining how I misunderstood their request and here is everything I did wrong.

And those same people would never send a similar long anon ask of what i did right, of if they even appreciated the work I've put in.

I felt taken for granted, both the rude people and the silent people who would just ask for stuff or come talking about their own ideas and never mine were just as horrible in my eyes. I felt not appreciated and just used.

Like I said before, why am I doing free work to people who aren't nice to me? We are not friends, no matter how friendly I am to any requester. We will never be friends, that's a parasocial relationship if you think we are. And I'm not a content creator either! This isn't content I'm posting because I'm literally gaining nothing from it. No money, no coms, not nothing and that's how I want it to be.

I share my writing because I want to, and it's a hobby, I never plan on opening commissions or using monetization. The least someone could do is appreciate the time and work i put for free to the thing they request of me, but no one does that, do they?

There is a different between being a nice person and a decent person, juet because you were decent to me and didn't demand or insult me during the 10 requests in a row you've sent without even leaving a comment on any of them then you're definitely not a nice person.

And fuck I hate talking about this, I hate having to explain myself or my feelings or why I closed requests as if I owe anyone in here an explanation, as if I'm not already taking time from my life for this blog. Time that I could've spent playing videogames or doing something else equally as fun as writing but this time at least I get appreciation back in form of in-game rewards.

I hate seemingly needy and this effected by something as meaningless as comments. But those same needy feelings are what impacted my writing the most, you don't get to enjoy my writing then turn around and condem the same traits that made me write this way in the first place just because those traits started affecting my creativtly negatively.

I'm just tired and fed up, I'm not replying to asks that have nothing to do with me or my writing, I'm not doing any requests when I'll just be met with radio silence. If people who read my work are planning on ignoring me either way and just leave likes then i might as well write what I want and be as self indulgent as much as I want.

And if you think "oh this isn't about me, we are on good terms right?" Then I promise it's definitely about you, it's about each and every single one of you who sent a request and barely sent any appreciation back.

I thought if I was nice and gave everyone the benfits of the doubt, then they'd appreciate me back. Clearly, if I just worked harder, I'll get recognition and love, right? Fuck no, all I got was more work from the same selfish people.

And it stings so much more when it comes from fellow artists and writers you know? You fucking clearly know how this feels like so why are you treating me the same way?

And if you're asking "so what you expect me to always write a comment on the work I requested? I don't wanna spam you and wouldn't it just get redundant."

Then go re-read the fact that we are not friends. I am a stranger to you. You only treat your friends with this level of familiarity and take their nice treatment for granted. I expect you to always be polite, even if it's redundant.

What fucking irks me more is when I go to their profile and see how many fanarts they reblog and leave nice comments under, how it clearly shows how little they value writing in comparison to art.

I posted my writing almost every single day for almost three months and not once did someone acknowledge how hard it is to keep my creativity from drying for this long, how annoying it must have been to cut my own free time in half just to answer a request or post a new work.

I'm not gonna pretend fanartists have it any better, I've seen firsthand how the thousands of likes get 10 or 20 comments at most, and half of these comments are jokes while the other half is asking for permission to repost or use their work.

God, you people have zero tact, and you'll only witness the domino effect of your actions when everything is behind a paywall or on exclusive discord servers that you need to jumpt through hoops to get into.

I'm really fed up. If you think that "well I'm just one person" then you're part of the problem too.

This rant, essay or whatever won't change shit. No matter how many times I keep re-explaining this. It won't change people's minds or views and even when it does, it will only last for a day or two where everyone is suddenly nice to me and walking on eggshells then it's back to the same silent treatment as if this is a tantrum I'm throwing for attention rather than a serious problem that's killing my blog and writing.

It's only you who can change your own mind. You have to sit with yourself and activity change your mindset, you have to keep your own self accountable when you read something and never leave a comment or when you send a request and never send anything nice after it.

And most of you won't, it's sad and hurtful but true. Because you're losing nothing by taking artists for granted, you lose nothing by being selfish and rude, you lose nothing by always asking for stuff and never giving anything back.

Except when you eventually lose the artist or the right to freely request from then, all of the sudden this is effecting you so much and you need an explanation on when the request will be open again. Gosh writer why are you being so selfish and keeping us from demanding free work from you? Aren't you done yet? Instead of actually motivating you by appreciating your work or sending a sweet ask, I'm going to directly ask you when the requests will be open! But it's fine and totally not rude because I said it's not rude!

Of it wasn't for that single anon sweet ask on the Gale interactive story I would've just stopped posting it. A single person single handedly is responsible for motivating me to finish the story while the remaining 50 something voters in it did jack shit and just sat on their ass. You all should be grateful for that one person who sent the ask for giving you the story, I was fully planning on not posting any new part this day.

A single person can make a difference. I remember everyone who left a sweet message after their request, I remember everyone who didn't. I remember everyone who comments or leaves a reaction.

And I remember when a seemingly nice person stops being nice after leaving one nice ask then start spamming requests and never leave anything anymore. It happens more often than not, especially when I make exceptions for them since they were so nice and they take it as free permission to go ham.

I don't know what's causing this, is it my bpd? Is it just December making my depression hit rock bottom? I don't fucking know.

But what I know is that requests won't be open. Not until I decide to.

Drabbles too, i was too latent and expected people to behave better. Instead they started requesting full works but add the word drabble at the end as if it will make it any better.

If your ask isn't related to my work I'm not answering it.

If you don't like this, or think I'm being mean or too demanding, that's fine. Just leave.

Because that what most requestors do after you answer 10 of their asks, they leave to the new shiny artist they find. Not a thank you not anything.

My work has been dying since I closed requests, much less interactions. And that's fine that's okay, I rather be forgotten than used.

Also hello! No rush or anything, but do you know when you're going to start treating me like a human person instead of a fic bot? Do you know when the ability to comment or give feedback is finally unlocked? Do you know when people will understand that a request is a one per person rule until your old request is done, so don't spam me with them?

You don't know? That's fine, have a great day anon! This wasn't meant to be rude or anything because i said it wasn't so that makes it valid right? It makes it okay since I can claim I didn't know better right?

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

[mashmouths]

what? oh yeah i'm a huge swiftie :) i loved "a modest proposal" and though "gulliver's travels" was really context-dependent, once you parse it it's a truly brilliant work of satire

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Countdown to Season 7:

79 days.

inspired by @bucksbackwardcap

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok, I think I have a pretty good idea of why a lot of Akechi's dialogue is... like that.

So, even before his confidant truly started, I noticed that he has a real knack for directing the flow of a conversation. This is very fitting for someone who is both a detective and skilled at interviews - when there is a topic and a goal, Akechi is in his element.

All this to say, he's actually kind of controlling when it comes to conversational flow. He probes for information, or turns the conversation around to a particular topic, usually the Phantom Thieves. He manages to take a few of Joker's dialogue options and spin them so they sound mildly incriminating in the context he's placed them in - the only way to truly get around this is to pick answers that feign indifference, and even then, that's more than a bit telling. He's clearly very good at this kind of thing.

But then, we get conversations where either Joker does something he didn't expect, or else he doesn't have a particular goal in mind - and the conversation stutters. In the first instance, Joker does something (a particularly egregious example is putting his glasses on him and fluffing his hair in rank 3) which both leaves him wrong-footed and no longer in perfect control of the situation. He just kind of... freezes, for awhile. It's hilarious. He has no idea how to respond.

He picks up control again in the phone call afterwards, having chosen to play into it, turning this "fooling the crowds" into a kind of game or secret between them. Nice save.

But in instances where there isn't an obvious topic and the goal is somewhat nebulous, for instance, that one Leblanc scene, it becomes pretty apparent that Akechi doesn't have the right "script" to go off of. Again, it's particularly notable in that scene, because I'm fairly sure he didn't have any specific reason to be at Leblanc, other than him looking for a quiet spot now that public opinion has turned on him. And because there isn't anything specific he's digging for, he kind of just ends up throwing things at the wall to see what will stick. Probing for any kind of recognizable reaction that he can jump on and work with, and that just doesn't really happen in this scene.

He references Sae, a woman in a respectable position, to Sojiro, but instead of that netting a welcome, it earns his ire, given Sae's recent actions against him. He then tries to greet Joker, his... rival? friend? enemy? person who at least seems to somewhat enjoy spending time with him? But Joker's responses are somewhat short, and Akechi practically wilts. He tries to commiserate by oversharing. He tries to involve Futaba and reaches out for the only topic of interest he can think of around "young people". He compliments the coffee. He compliments Joker. He tries to invoke that connection between them. None of it is really sticking, nor does it serve as a jumping off point for him to steer the conversation, or even really start one.

So, he basically just ends up having a one-sided chat with himself and then leaves. Hilarious. Also a little sad, if I'm being honest. It's really giving "guy with no friends who only knows how to speak to adults" energy. If there's no specific purpose to the exchange, or he is not in control of its direction, he seems to be kind of out of his depth. He succeeds only in being a little awkward and confusing, more than anything.

[paloma-the-pigeon]

I've lost count of how many times I've watched Beyond Evil but that scene of Dongsik at the lake after Nam Sangbae death and then he get up and look at Juwon all pretty and sad still strikes me because guys THAT WAS HAN JUWON POV ain't no way that man isn't in love

[prolibytherium]

Beautiful friendship

[ohyoufool]

Come one, come all It's happening again The empathetic hunger descends We'll tell no one Except all of our friends But I still don't know How did it end?

How Did It End? - Taylor Swift x OMG Check Please

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[lylahammar]

desperately need more fat video essayists to cover topics about fatness, fatphobia, and diet culture. I'm watchin this skinny girl in this video essay replace the word "fat" with "F" in every quote she reads like it's a slur because she looked up what the least problematic term for fatness was and the article she found put "fat" at the same level as "obese"

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

For $5 USD stop making everything about that goddamn show for five minutes.

[arthursfuckinghat]

"Your friend, Mr. Van Der Linde, has ensured that any relations between us and the army are worse than any point in the last five years. I'm sure he means well, but matters are more complex than he understands."

[wahgifs]

can i hire you to be my drinking buddy? — only friends (2023) | episode two

[scrappy-possum]

(good grief it been a while......)

anyway hi im not dead

heard it was a special bee's birthday (@realizinau )

so i opened ms paint and doodled this real fast

he put his knitting skillz to use and made a cute sweater :)

the next challange however is giving it to Bailee

[crimescrimson]

Ada Wong & Leon S. Kennedy: The History [ Resident Evil 4 (2023) ]

[uncanny-tranny]

I totally get gendered petnames like dude, sis, bro, and whatever else, and I get why some people might be confused as to why some trans people might take issue with a petname you might think is neutral. However, I do want people to remember that trans people often have different relationships with those petnames because they're gendered, and they might be uncomfortable with those connotations. A trans woman who doesn't want you to call her "dude" is probably not doing it to anger or accuse you of anything, but she might just have a negative relationship with that word.

I get that it can be hard to change habits, but it is worth it to include trans people. If a trans person in your life asks you not to use certain words, I promise they aren't trying to fuck you over or make you feel like you're under attack. They are just expressing a boundary - one that cis people also express.