#please be patient lol

[dark-lord-lumi]

This week’s weekly Rewrite character drawing will be a little later than expected. Stay tuned for another lovely cast member!

[josephquinnswhore]

I have decided for my own menty health that I am going to finish all of my one shot fics before I start continue my multi-part series.

Here are the series going on hold until further notice;

-eternal destiny: Oberyn Martell x female reader

-thirteen days: Dave York x female reader

-dead men don’t kiss: Arthur Morgan x female reader

-I see you: Joel Miller x female reader

[indesperateneedoftherapy]

hey! my therapist recommended i create a blog to vent my personal issues so here it is! i’ll probably post some mini-rants about random topics from time to time. :)

[werewolfaday]

day 44!

[acemonstermen]

Remember this piece of art I posted a while back? Well here’s his full design in sketch form.

A really old monster OC I had in high school and drew when I was in college. Might draw him again to show the full design instead of just a head picture like this.

[shikisei]

[alastors-antlers]

Being someone who sees a lot of talk about shipping Alastor (sexually, romantically) in fanworks, I just want to take some time to talk about both sides of the issue. It's long, I know - please, please bear with me until the end, and I hope you'll understand what I mean in a bit.

I hope this helps someone, but as an aroace person who understands the frustration and hurt, this is often how it feels to me:

Alastor, being one of the limited cases of aspec rep that I've seen and one of even fewer which I actually enjoyed, means a lot to me.

That being said, his canon rep establishes that he's aroace but not much about how this factors into his life or relationships at all -- and when there's a gap in canon, I turn to fanfiction, which tends to spotlight characters' queerness even when the source material doesn't or can't. Don't we all want to see ourselves in the media we engage with?

When I pull up AO3, there are already a good number of fics about him. Great! Some of them are definitely incredible; but as I read on, it starts to seem like a lot of fics I see acknowledge that he's asexual or aromantic in some way but don't really factor that into the story. It reads like you could have written the story without keeping his queer identity in mind, and it would've come out the same.

Even when representation that does resonate with me exists, it starts to be exhausting to pick through the slash tags to see which ones are written in an aspec-coded way, so I wonder if it would be easier to not read anything with slash at all. On the other hand, when you filter ships out completely, only a tiny fraction of the fanworks are left.

People often respond that aspec people can have relationships, and I think we tend to know that. They can have sex, some can experience sexual attraction in select situations, they can romance others beyond romantic attraction -- any combination of things. But some aroace people don't want either, and sometimes we're struggling to see ourselves in how Alastor is typically portrayed.

Out of all of the fics, sex-repulsed, totally aromantic Alastor isn't seen much. And when Alastor's limited canon seems to be pretty supportive of a reading where he is those things...

Sometimes, you start to feel lost. If fics were evenly distributed along the aroace spectrum of experiences, wouldn't you expect more fics of him being the "totally uninterested" brand of aroace? But there aren't. People seem to have a preference toward seeing him in relationships. Even if they mean well, it can make you think: what does that say about how we view asexuality/aromanticism as a whole?

Is there something less interesting about Alastor, when romance is taken out of the picture? Do others find him less appealing as a character if they can't see him dating, or in love, or having sex or wanting it? Why do we need romance, when romance is already everywhere else, when it doesn't even feel like he was originally really interested? It brings to mind a struggle to be societally accepted, even today.

Even when it's not technically wrong to write Alastor as you see him, being told that we should all be able to ship him however we want can feel like this:

It brings to mind people who try to swing in with misinformed good intentions, telling us "oh, you're aromantic? but you can still have romantic relationships, right? so you can still be normal." when all we want is to be okay outside of the normal.

Or trying to find a partner who can be with us, out of everyone who tells us "I know you don't enjoy sex, and that's okay, but I can't have a romantic relationship with you without it." and being so tired of hoping for someone who gets it.

Or talking with peers, and hearing them all commiserate and fawn over their experiences with love, then telling them about someone you like non-romantically and getting "aww, it sounds like somebody's got a crush!" but not being believed when you tell them it's not like that at all.

Alastor is not a big deal, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in an allonormative world, it can feel like a sudden splash of cold water when we were expecting a warm fire to sit around. Even within this ecosystem, we squint to see ourselves reflected.

Society isn't built for us. It can be exhausting to be reminded of that.

~~~

I hope to support people writing Alastor as any variation of aspec, or not even aspec at all. At the end of the day, I think that fanon is really whatever you want it to be, and everyone has their own reasons for writing what they find enjoyable. They should be allowed to do so, and I want to believe that people do what they do with good intentions.

They want to imagine scenarios with the templates of characters they love, and that's okay; even beyond sexuality/queer identities/etc., fan interpretations of characters can be incredibly, wildly different from who they really are in the story anyway, and that's what I try to remind myself. But still, I also can't help feeling disappointed about the aroace representation we could have seen.

(Is Alastor canonically sex-repulsed? Uhh, maybe. If I had to guess, that'd be my top guess, but this might be a hot take: I wouldn't really say there's enough to go off of considering that this view is supported by Angel propositioning him both times, and it's not like Alastor is a particularly big fan of Angel at those points anyway lol)

To my fellow aroaces struggling with Alastor's fandom rep: if you need a break from it all; if you need to block the tags that you hate; if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling; that's okay. It makes sense that you'd want more representation in a way that helps you feel seen and validated and less alone. I can't speak for everyone, but I think I get it.

I don't have any solutions for how you're feeling, because sometimes I'm feeling the same way. I understand that you want others to get your position and you have the right to express your feelings, but even if you're correct, often being angry or frustrated won't help change others' minds, so let's try to save our energy and take care of ourselves.

Something that helps me to think about is that even now, asexuality is gaining more visibility. We're gaining support. Real change is happening in the world that's helping incredible amounts of aspec people feel freer to be themselves. And maybe one day, we won't be reaching to protect our scraps of representation.

Let's fight until that day together <3

[knaccblog]

Rescuing Aziraphale isn't what makes Crowley happy, not really. He doesn't want him to be in danger in the first place. He wants him safe. He wants him happy.

But he does like having an excuse to take care of him, to protect him, to dote on him in a way that's safe, acceptable and would be honestly illogical to turn away. Like Crowley walks into that church, burning his feet all the way and Aziraphale nearly shoos him away? (Because of the fight all those years ago, because he must be in league with these Nazis) But Aziraphale is in actual, real danger of being discorporated, of being sent back to heaven for who knows how long, so how can he actually reject Crowley's offer to protect him, right?

So every time Crowley does this, the whole "gallant knight swooping in to save Aziraphale from his own follies" thing, it's basically completely irrejectable, safe love Crowley can offer up to Aziraphale with no fear of rejection or overstepping the invisible line between them. Aziraphale can say "you go too fast for me, Crowley" a hundred times in so many varied ways and Crowley accepts this but he's never going to reject Crowley's love when it comes to him as a hand pulling him free of oblivion. That's what Crowley likes. Being able to love Aziraphale in a way that he knows will never be rejected.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Mythological Inspirations: Matar Paneer Cookie Edition

So, where did Matar Paneer- nah I don't feel like making this joke again. Indian curry dish + crazy lion lady + demon slaying goofball pretty boy. BOOM.

Next installment of "Merchant rants about how far she went designing these fankids into a void for 10 hours"

Same as/with/for Pepper Jack, I researched and took inspiration from Egyptian and Hindu mythology while drafting up Matar Paneer. If Golden Cheese is Ra, and Burning Spice is Shiva, and Pepper Jack is the bennu bird + Ganesha... what does that make our little lady here?

Remember how Shiva has two sons? Jack is already one, so Paneer is, naturally, the other one. She takes after Kartikeya, second son of Shiva and Parvati, god of war and victory.

Kartikeya's primary color is red. So Paneer's is, as well. It's her favorite color and what she likes to wear the most. (It's also partially because of Burning Spice lol. Red will always = Papa to her to some degree)

Kartikeya is armed with a divine spear called Vel, which was a gift from his mother. Though Paneer wields and favors her katar, she will one day carry a spear alongside them, also a gift from her own mother (can't wait to tell that story haha)

One of Kartikeya's symbols is a peacock; this is because he has a giant peacock (named Paravani) as a mount. Likewise, I had Paneer befriend a peacock, which will one day grow big enough for her to ride around on herself (can't wait to tell that story either! I personally like my little interpretation of Paravani. Matar Paneer and her little bird bestie haha)

Kartikeya has a very innocent and playful personality; he's quite silly and mischievous, and likes to mess with things for fun (ex: messing with planets' orbits, stacking mountains on top of each other, stopping the flow of the Ganges river, etc). Paneer is quite similar (something else I didn't know beforehand, I swear. Paneer being a little gremlin just like the god she ends up taking after is another happy coincidence), going on little adventures and making messes and having... destructive tendencies like her Papa lol. (But she never means any harm. She's a good kid, she's just a bit impulsive and reckless)

Sometimes, Kartikeya is depicted with six heads (varies by scripture). Bit of a stretch, but I thought of having Paneer own six masks, each one wildly different from the other, that she'll often wear for fun. (I'll explain this better in another post)

Kartikeya is credited with defeating many monsters and demons, minor and major. So Paneer will grow up to become a renowned demon slayer, just like him (spoiling the end of her story there lol)

Golden Cheese is clearly inspired by Ra, Egyptian god of the sun and head of the pantheon (it's extra obvious with her Awakened form lol). The stories vary wildly from what I've seen, but the most baseline concept is that Ra has 3 daughters. Believing her to be the most fitting, I chose to have Paneer take after Sekhmet, Egyptian goddess of war, chaos, plague and medicine.

Sekhmet's primary color is also red. More red for our little lady. (All the war gods like red, so predictable smh)

Sekhmet is extremely violent and bloodthirsty, as her profession suggests. Born from the fire in Ra's eye, her main purpose in life is to protect him, help uphold cosmic order, and punish mortals for disobedience towards either. Paneer is... quite temperamental lol. Very strong-willed, very easily frustrated, very emotional. Fiercely protective of those she loves. And she can be... vengeful. Very, very vengeful. I will not elaborate further because it's spoilery as fuck lol

Like most of the other gods, Sekhmet is a furry part animal, with a woman's body and a lioness's head. Also a bit of a stretch, but... a certain young lady is getting a lioness tattoo on her back when she's an adult, as a nod/homage haha. Also, Golden Cheese's special nickname for her is "little lioness"

Sekhmet is often depicted with a lotus in one hand, and an ankh in the other. There, now you know why Paneer has a lotus in her hair lol (she's also getting an ankh tattoo when she's an adult, on her left wrist since that's the hand Sekhmet is always seen using to hold it (Paneer is getting a lot of tattoos when she's older, as you can see))

The Egyptians very much believed in names having power (common idea in the ancient world, really, but they were extra into it), so Sekhmet, like all the other gods, has like a billion names lol. To keep things simple (I counted 15 names the first time I looked into her and I'm pretty sure there's more), Paneer only gets a few: "Red Lady" (this one in particular), "Lady of Slaughter", "Mistress of Dread" and "She Before Whom Evil Trembles". The first three, people in general give her as a result of her actions/accomplishments (demon slayer, remember?) and are meant in a positive, reverent way (sometimes with a small touch of fear, admittedly). The last one is what High Priest Cheesenbird calls her. He has a term of affection/endearment for both children

Sekhmet can breathe fire; in fact, the Ancient Egyptians often credited/associated her with the hot desert winds because of it. I think I said this before already, but Paneer is a fire breather, too (she can light her hands and feet on fire, as well. Not a full-on firebender but not too far away)

In an interesting contradiction, Sekhmet is a goddess of both disease and medicine. She's bitter and wrathful, and causes plague outbreaks as a form of punishment for mankind... but she cures them, too. She's feared and looked to for salvation at the same time. She's even considered a patroness of physicians and healers. So... Perhaps our little firebreather has a hidden knack for healing, too. A secret power. One that's only noticed by another healer who would know how to spot and nurture such a talent *cough*Pure Vanilla*cough*. Maybe. Perhaps 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Also, here's some doodles of more general things just because

There's little Paravani lol. Hopefully I actually start improving as an artist eventually, so I can draw Paravani better (or more in line with how he looks in my head. I don't really want a regular looking peacock, that's boring)

There's the little cheese lotus Paneer wears in her hair. Just used the one in the Golden Cheese Kingdom decor set as a reference 😅

Ankhs r cool 2 draw. Also, fun fact: they symbolize immortality and reincarnation. Reminds you of her mom, doesn't it? Haha

Tried to draw her katar (Indian knives. Basically Wolverine claws). They were a gift from Cilantro Cobra (she's alive and well in my personal canon ok 😫), and she went the extra mile to have little symbols engraved in both. Burning Spice's in one, Golden Cheese's in the other

She's supposed to have little green earrings that look like green peas ("matar" means green pea, "paneer" is the Indian cheese. Literally "green pea cheese" lol). Her design references the food she's supposed to be a lot more than Jack's, I think

Ok I'm done now. I'm sorry this post was so late. I'm also sorry this is all on paper and in shitty ass lighting, me no have drawing tablet. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[nabaath-areng]

Moments of clarity are so rare I better document this At last the view is fierce All that matters is Who is open-chested And who has coagulated Who can share and Who has shut down the chances?

[official-penis-posts]

i keep calling dicks 'little guy' on account of them being cute mushroom-creatures to me. my bf makes fun of me bc well, some of them are not so little. yes i *know* the 'little' in 'little guy' is figurative, no? anyway nice blog

Oh I think we all got a lesson in how some of them are not such a little guys!

[awkwardandeccentric]

I wonder if the reason why Stolas is so blind to the class dynamic between him and Blitz is because he doesn’t feel like he benefits from it.

Work with me here. I’m not saying it’s true. I’m saying this may be how he feels.

You know those white people that say that they can’t have white privilege because they’re struggling to pay the rent? Maybe Stolas has a mindset something similar to that.

When you think royalty, you think strength and power. Stolas has neither. In terms of raw physical strength, Stolas is weaker among the Goetia. With his looks, he’s lanky and thin. “I’m so glad I don’t have to pretend to want to fuck his scrawny, twig ass.” (Stella I hate you so much). We know as the audience that it takes an insurmountable amount of strength to survive, umm, let’s see, let me check the list: missing mother, neglectful father, extreme isolation as a child, being a closeted gay man, an arranged marriage, marital rape, domestic violence, and being a teen father.

Yeah, I would have offed myself at number five.

But to Stolas, having to take SSRIs and having mental health issues is something he most likely is deeply ashamed of. Something he thinks of as a weakness.

In terms of power, he’s never had any power to control his own life. From the moment he was born, his destiny was written for him, no deviation allowed. “It is expected an oath by blood to hold the tome and the starlight passes overhead fuels all the skills I've honed. I am a guardian, a watcher of these ancient rites.” He has no power over who or when or if he commits himself to one person for the rest of his very, very long life. He has no power over Stella to make her stop abusing him. He has no power over his own brain to make him stop being suicidal.

In his mind, the idea that he benefits at all from his station is ludicrous. ‘Where is this privilege?’ He’s probably thinking to himself. ‘I don’t even get to choose who I marry, when I have children, what job I have, who I get to love, whether I make friends, how I can express my emotions, nothing. I choose nothing.’

And honestly? He’s not right…but he’s also not wrong.

There is something deeply fucked up about how the system has taken a cute, happy bird just excited to learn about his future on his birthday and chewed him up before spitting him out into a severely depressed alcoholic with C-PTSD and recovering from an assassination attempt.

It’s not that he doesn’t benefit from his status compared to other demons. He does. He has servants and can get an appointment for a hospital visit at any time and he’s welcome in any club he goes to and he’s never had to worry about whether he’ll have a roof over his head or food on the table. But compared to the standards set by the people around him? The idea is laughable. Offensive. Where is this privilege? He’s not seeing it.

And like the white people who claim that they can’t have white privilege because they struggle to pay the rent, we want to pull our hair out and scream because “holy shit how can you be this stupid?!”

But they have legitimate complaints about a system that chewed them up and spit them out. And so does Stolas.

[iluvvaporeon]

did not expect so many of yall to actually want me to write that parkciv x pvpciv fic 💀 ngl that was really just supposed to be a throwaway thought that spawned from me hyperfixating rlly hard that day and i wasn't rlly planning on actually writing it but after seeing all of you guys practically begging in the replies and reblogs for me to do it...

well. i'll just let this sneak peak speak for itself. :)

[soulaanadelrey]

[blazefirefox]

Hey guys! Do you remember this post from two months ago? you don't? Completely understandable!

As promised, I have finished the relationship chart for the doai sitcom au, with the edition of ocs if you so choose :3. Here are my particular headcannons for before Lankmann dies:

and here are for the ones after:

BONUS: OC template + the ones for Jinx

If you use these, please make sure you credit me! Thank you guys for your patience, and I'm sorry for how long these took. But I sincerely hope you enjoy them!

Just in case, the characters (going clockwise) are Clyde, Winfrey, Alex (Veldigun Alex post-breakout), Patient 66, Simon, Mortimer (Veldigun Mortimer post-breakout), Lankmann, The Flock, Klaus, and Jack.

[theaspiechan]

Heaven knows I'm miserable now.