#please be gentle with the handcuffs dan
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dan-or-daniel · 5 months ago
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freckliedan · 7 months ago
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omgomg What hornyposting have they done - same anon :3c
check out my fuck energy tag for receipts on varying levels of overtly horny moments to things that ping for me but possibly not universally. but also, an in depth but not exhaustive list:
they have a bondage bar on their bed which dan has flippantly replied to a tweet about
sister daniel video
the april fools nude
dan probably agrees that phil is naturally ginger despite his hair color being an auburny brown at best due to pube color. sorry that i said it out loud rather than keeping it implied.
interactive introverts shock buzzers shown im witl were bought from an online sex store, dan told us on twitter
halloween pumpkin carving video has "so horny they're stupid" energy, dan's in a mesh shirt
this ii era liveshow in australia; the next video on the gaming channel was of the dumber ways to die mobile app.
ii era "getting that d vitamin" shirtless dan selfie ft clothes in the bushes behind him. photo taken on a brief break from touring when dnp + martyn and cornelia were spending a few days on vacation. "lapping up the d vitamin" comments about phil as well in a liveshow afterwards
phil's ii era side to side by ariana grande insta story
phil's mysterious white stain on his costume shirt insta story from the lead up to ii
"please be gentle with the handcuffs, i have sensitive skin" from witl/ii—sensitive skin is usually about like.. being sensitive to scented soaps and stuff. this is not an intuitive connection to make. it leads me to believe that's knowledge they have from experience
when the ii dvd was released, the bbc rated it whatever it rated it (can't remember) because of a couple engaging in erotic roleplay (amongst other reasons) which dan acknowledged on twitter and did not disagree with at all
dan's horny attitude about dentist visits
handcuffs and videogames sims moment
dan's kinky tumblr reblogs from the era when it was normal to rb softcore porn on here, including a fair amount of horny qbout blood posts
in that light: dan wrote and published the urge
phil bringing up mpreg as often as he does pings as horny for me; the hand falls into this category in a deeply bizzare manner imo
phil recognizing a delivery guy from gay emo porn
dan hogtied in christmas garland on their breakfast bar in manchester
dan's 2009 nakedbooths—nudes posted largely to flirt with phil. particularly the nakedbooth dan posted of himself in phil's bedroom where phil's holding lion in frame to censor dan's dick
phil's "milk" dailybooth
dan's "i WANT you to tie me up" dailybooth comment on phil holding up a belt
dan on formspring answering whether he swallows or spits
dan replying to someone in the comments of a phil vid pointing out hickies he had after dan visited him in 2009
uma thurman tweet
formspring answers about cherry & piña colada lube + cherry reference in the vday vid + sleuths online spotting specific lube in one of their suitcases at one point
phil used to post constant thirst traps before dan came into the picture have you SEEN ry @dnphobe's emo boy edit?? have you seen phil's check yes juliet and toxic vids????
thank you for coming to my ted talk, i know i'm missing loads.
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hellsslibrary · 1 year ago
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thanks for complying with my request sir!! anyway can i ask for the same headcanons but this time for hsr? namely for welt, jepard, dan heng, jin yuan ?? 🥺🫠💞
❀Sexual headcanons about Welt, Gepard, Dan Heng and Jing Yuan❀
DNI: minors.
!!Warnings: hair pulling, pet play, praise/humalitation, romantic, play with chest, handcuffs, bondage, breeding kink, oral sex, sex in the bathroom and forest, semi public sex, mirror sex, corsets (lol).
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Welt.
Oh, Mother of God... I don't know who he is. He will probably be whatever you want. Dominant? Certainly. Submissive? Also good. But I guess he's more on the submissive side.
He is a little conservative in his views, so he likes more vanilla sex. But he absolutely doesn't mind trying something new and trying it if that's what you want.
Very romantic man! He loves to make you sexual surprises, just like from some popular romantic and erotic films or books.
He loves to praise you. Of course, he is pleased if you also praise him, he appreciates it very much and it excites him. But there's something more to him praising you. It excites him insanely, especially if you somehow react to his words.
Bondage kink~. I'm sure he would gladly be bound for you and let you do with him whatever your heart desires. Moreover, it will look wonderful in a bound state~.
He is quiet in bed. Sighs, heavy breathing, rare quiet moans and whines, but nothing more.
He has sensitive nipples (I've seen too many art, you won't convince me otherwise). So his nipples quickly become hard from almost any touch and movement, which makes him moan louder than usual.
I'm pretty sure he's never been bottom. So he was very interested in this experience and when he finally felt your cock in him... He immediately came from the sensation with a loud moan, which surprised the two of you.
He loves to hold hands during sex! It's so sweet and romantic, given that he likes the slower and more gentle pace, it makes the process even more enjoyable for him.
He is an adult male, so most likely he may have a breeding kink. He realizes that he won't get pregnant. But ... It's not bad to imagine, it's not bad not to dream, my dears.
He has good eyes, sorry, they are so beautiful (God, I admire them every day). And since he's sensitive, considering you're his first partner in his role as a bottom, he often starts rolling his eyes with a low moan—. I'm a simp, sorry.
He's insanely tired, so give him a massage sometime, starting gently on his torso and then taking it to something sexier, that'll probably relax him the best. Especially if it will be in the bathroom, in hot water and next to you.
Gepard.
Sub. Most submissive sub. He's just so obedient and timid and wonderful, just like a kitten. He's also probably a virgin, but I'm not sure about that.
Ahem, this brings me to the idea of pet play. Well, he's a Gepard anyway, so... He's a big cat, but unlike a cat, he's very obedient... And doesn't mind at all if you put him on a leash, hehe.
Pull him by his hair. By those beautiful blonde hair, he will moan at the top of his lungs with his beautiful and hot voice.
Kink for praise, especially if it somehow concerns him. For example, his muscular and lean body, pretty face, or his actions or words in relation to you (or to himself, if you want a show, hehe).
He's shy, like, very shy. He was focused all his life on preparing for the army, that he did not think about any romance or anything like that.
Everything you bring to his life is so new, but so interesting! So he is more than willing to try any of your ideas, even the most disgusting and perverted ones. Although some, like threesome or something like that, I suppose he will refuse. He wouldn't want anyone else involved in this.
Sex in the alleys~. Especially during his breaks or patrols. If you pull him into the alley at this time and quickly do what you want there, Mr. will come out of there afterwards completely shabby, but with such a blissful expression on his face, as if he had just been blessed by God himself.
He has great stamina, for obvious reasons. Like, really big. If you have too, then he is at your service, you can have fun with him until your stamina runs out.
I guess he likes to please you. Well, that is, oral sex, of course. He will gladly suck you off if you so wish or even if you do not wish. He just may have such a mood and desire.
A kind of kink for humiliation? He doesn't like humiliation as such, but... You know, he's a captain after all, and he kind of has to be such a cold, calculating man. But, if you tell him to say or do anything that goes against that description, it will be so humiliating and hot for him. Something like, for example, feminization or light humiliation.
An addition to the past is also if you put him in front of a mirror. And you will force him to look at his expression while you do something with him.
Dan Heng.
He is probably a sub. I just see him as such, all the cold guys in my mind are definitely submissive in one way or another. But at the same time, he will be the dominant if you want, but he will not offer it himself. He's a virgin, given his past, this shouldn't come as a surprise.
Just like Welt, he is quite quiet in bed, but he is talkative. That is, he quietly groans, whines, whimpers, breathes quickly and speaks, and this all happens often, but quietly, obviously.
Prefers soft sex rather than rough. He likes to be praised for his actions, calling him a good boy, but he never says it.
Although he also doesn't mind being humiliated if you're into that sort of thing. But still praise him sometimes, he needs it :(.
He loves to ride you. He just really likes the feeling of your cock going straight into him while he grabs your chest/shoulders/belly and so on. And he loves looking at your face with a look of pleasure underneath.
Handcuffs. Fuck, Dan Heng is in handcuffs, this is a divine sight. His hands are behind his back or above his head, handcuffed, constantly rattling from the sound of metal from each other, mixed with his moans and sobs...
Archives~. Well, or his bedroom, lol. While he is adding something to the database, approach him discreetly and take him right there and then, it will be one of the most intense orgasms that he has ever experienced.
Loves hickeys and bites on his body! It is on the body, where no one except you will see it. His thighs, torso, arms and so on. He just loves to share something so intimate with you that only the two of you know about.
He loves sex in nature. There is something so intimate and loving when you fuck, for example, in a forest or a glade and so on. Especially if it happens at a later time.
(Spoilers for the 1.2 main story!) His Imbibitor Lunae form... His pretty horns are just pulling, dammit. I want to fuck him by pulling those wonderful horns, making him arch his back with a moan and fuck... This man so hot :(.
I once read that the best cure after having a nightmare is oral sex (Although this is obviously nonsense, I suppose...). But you imagine it with him... He wakes up in the middle of the night when he once again dreams of a sexy man with boobs, heavier than watermelons, who wants to kill him and you gently suck him off, gradually calming him down.
Jing Yuan.
He... I don't know, it's a tough decision, really. I believe he is a switch, more leaning towards the dominant side, but again I'm not sure about that.
Who really has experience is him... After all, how fucking old is he? Nobody knows this, so we can only guess.
His corset is ಥ_ಥ. Fuck, I love men in corsets, and men in general. But! Imagine~. How do you fuck him while pulling on that corset while pressing on the bulge in his stomach while he grabs onto anything~.
His hair—. (Don't say you've never been tangled in his hair.) He just loves when you pull on those wonderful, long, snow-white hair. Especially when you pull that ponytail over your arm and fuck him like that.
He prefers a rougher and edgier tempo, as well as sex in general, more rough and edgy. Although of course, slowly and carefully is also good for him!
He loves missionary, or missionary-like positions in one way or another, because he loves to put his legs around your waist while you thrust into him.
Random headcanon, but ever since there was a meme about him being a literal Disney princess because of the amount of animals and birds that surrounds him, then imagine that you are fucking, and a finch sits on him and looks at all this, breaking all its worldview.
He loves kissing during sex, and kissing in general. Especially deep kisses, with tongues and all! He'll never miss a chance to kiss you like that, even if he has to do 360 degrees, he'll do it.
Squeeze his hands over his head. It doesn't even matter if one of your arms can't wrap around his two. Just do it. He finds something insanely sexy and funny about your display of dominance.
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missjanjie · 3 months ago
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Dan & Phil Quote Sentence Starters
idk why i did this either. but here we are. these are all quotes that dan or phil (mostly dan bcs half of what phil says doesnt make sense with context let alone without, and as much as we love that about him, it isn't very helpful here). anyway send a number and a ship and reblog if u wanna use it!
“You’re next to me in life.”
“This is why I’m leaving you at home.”
“Why are your feet so smooth and round?”
“I’m hot, I don’t know how to count.” 
“We could make a life together.”
“[Name]! You’re a genius!”
“This is the most fun I’ve ever had.” 
“Do you ever feel like you don’t have a personality?”
“You loved it. You want to do it more.”
“Please be gentle with the handcuffs, I have sensitive skin.”
“I want to be there so you don’t have to be brave.”
“I didn’t have a best friend for the first eighteen years of my life.”
“Your personality is too adorable for that.”
“You need to believe in yourself.”
“Stop filming me doing things!”
“As annoying as you’ve been, at least you’ve been there.”
“Obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic.”
“Help me, you stupid fuck!”
“I need you, I can’t do this alone.”
“Did you think about that before you said it?”
“What a beautiful night for a thunderstorm.”
“It’s supposed to be cheesy.”
“Did you put a cat sticker on my piano?”
“I’m just gonna put my ass in the air and hope for the best.”
“I blame you entirely.”
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kae-karo · 6 years ago
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Katie, I just remembered that moment in the sims series with the handcuffs and video games and I'm having a meltdown. Is this how my phannie day is gonna start? Help
the only way to start this blessed day, really
youtube
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jemej3m · 5 years ago
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trial (objection p.2)
i love htgawm connor is such a problem child
*
“So your father was already incapacitated when you murdered him,” Andrew deduced, leaning back in his chair. He spun the land-line’s coiled cord around his finger, looking over the ceiling sconces of his office. The place was definitely built at least half a century ago, and the remnants of its previous occupations were everywhere, from the covered-up fireman pole holes to the sound-proofed insulation.
“When I killed him out of self-defence, yes,” Neil returned. His portion of the conversation would always be under surveillance. 
“Way to make my job harder, Wesninski.” 
“What good would I be, otherwise?” he retorted. “Also, please don’t call me that. I’m figuring out a new last name. How does Neil Smith sound?” 
“Dreadfully boring,” Andrew said. “Don’t say that word. I don’t like it.” 
“Which one, exactly?” 
Andrew grit his teeth. “Please.” It still sent shudders down his spine. “There’s no time for pleasantries.” 
“Fine,” the man said. “Is that all you wanted to waste my time on? The position my father was found in, when I - when he died?” 
“Considering that there are extremely graphic photos of his predicament for the jury to gawk at, yes. How is it self-defence if there’s no threat?” 
“He wasn’t cuffed there: I was. The DNA evidence was tampered with to remove traces of the skin tissue that the cuffs had scraped away. Have you even looked at those photos? His wrists are clearly free. I thought you were talking about the eyes.” 
“What about them?” Andrew hedged. 
“They’re gouged out,” Neil muttered. “I hate that our eyes are - were - the same.” 
“You did that whilst the two of you were fighting,” Andrew suggested. “Unless its clear you did it with a knife?” 
“All I had was his cleaver,” Neil said. “I used the handle. That’d look like fingers, right?”
“Right,” Andrew agreed, just as Wymack appeared at his doorway. 
“Could you keep the gruesome mutilation discussions off the worklines?” the old man demanded. “Matt just threw up into Dan’s paper-shredder.” 
“I’ll have to call you back,” Andrew said, vastly unimpressed. 
“I was going to say,” Neil said, sounding vaguely amused. “You have quite a stomach. Till next time, Andrew.”
“Bye, Neil.” 
Wymack had his arms crossed when Andrew threw the phone back onto the receiver, his glower shrouded and unknowable. 
Andrew gave it right back to him, refusing to stand as he mirrored Wymack’s stance. “What?” 
“First you viciously reject the case,” he said. “Then you drive to see him. Now you’re calling him every day?” 
“He’s in prison,” Andrew said. “I can’t just invite him over to interview him and gather evidence.”
“There is no valid reason for you to buddy up to Wesninski like this,” Wymack objected. “You barely speak to your clients unless they’re escapin’ juvie.” 
“You’re asking no questions, so I’ll give no answers,” Andrew responded cheerfully. “Have a nice day, boss.”
Wymack pointed at him. “No murder talk on the worklines. Three strikes and you’re out, Andrew.”
Andrew swivelled back around in his chair, knowing true and well Wymack had warned him about upwards of 72 different infringements of people’s delicate psyche. He had a job to do: if someone got in his way, he wasn’t going to be nice about it. 
Not for the first time, he wondered if Neil had a contraband mobile phone. It’d make his life a hell of a lot easier. For about twenty minutes he scrolled aimlessly through emails from desperate idiots convicted of white-collar crime, simultaneously considering how he might get a mobile phone to Neil next time he visited. He could go on the weekend, after Nicky’s godforsaken family night. 
Oh, shit, Andrew thought, when he noticed he’d lost an hour of his day making plans to see Neil again. 
Maybe Wymack was on to something. 
*
“You do seem awfully invested,” Betsy suggested, leaning on the porch railing as Andrew smoked through a second cigarette. She’d come along to Nicky’s Friday night fiasco at his request, seeing as Aaron had Katelyn and Nicky had Erik. It seemed a little ridiculous to being his old therapist, who was much more of a mother than a therapist, but Andrew’d wanted to talk to her anyway and their schedules clashed too much to meet up for lunch. 
“His case is simple,” Andrew objected, glaring at an owl that’d settled on the gangly tree in Nicky’s front yard. “He’s got physical evidence of his father’s cruelty, even though it’s been a decade. I’ve uncovered the DNA evidence tampering. Neil clearly acted out of self-defence. It’s open and shut, but no one’s going to want Wesninski’s child out on the streets.” 
“Jury?” Betsy inquired. 
“Jury,” Andrew confirmed sullenly. He fucking hated jury catering. When a case was on thin ice, it was up to selecting the perfectly biased (or prejudiced) people that’d think with their heart, not their head. Andrew was an excellent judge of character, but emotional evaluations were taxing and laborious. 
“You’ll do great,” Betsy promised, smiling her all-knowing smile. “You always do.” 
Andrew hummed gently, taking one final drag of his cigarette. Before he could chuck the butt into Nicky’s shrubbery, Betsy pinched it between her fingers and dropped it onto an ashtray atop a rickety windowsill. 
“It’s an interesting story,” Betsy continued. “There’s every reason to be intrigued by it.” 
Andrew just grunted. 
“Though,” she remarked. “I figured that case between the young girls was even more perplexing and intricate, but you seem rather enamoured.” 
“Shut up,” he mumbled. 
“I’m sure I don’t have to remind you about professionalism,” she said airily. 
“No,” he agreed. “You don’t.”
But - damn it all to hell - Neil was interesting. He was only a year younger than Andrew was, intelligent without seeming overbearing or arrogant, confident but reserved, a man of constraint taught by hardship but also a man of growth and reflection. Andrew was rambling and he knew it. Neil Wesninski was attractive, intriguing and completely out of Andrew’s reach. Even if he were just your average guy walking down the street, he wouldn’t look at Andrew twice. 
Andrew was fine with that. He didn’t need someone chasing after him, just like he didn’t need emotional intimacy or empathy or gentleness. It was like those nerve-endings had been scoured till they were numb and useless. The pathways were still there, but they echoed a nothingness that he’d never really figured out. 
Whatever. Whatever. Neil was just a challenging and well-paying case. That’s all he’d ever be. 
He was getting existential and over-contemplative. Betsy knew this and smiled, letting him take her by the elbow inside for a cup of cocoa. It was late when the other four finished their game of Monopoly and Nicky finally permitted everyone to leave. Betsy let Andrew walk her to her car again, warmth crinkling her eyes. 
“If you’re seeing your Neil tomorrow,” she said, with a wink. “Tell me all the juicy details.” 
“You’re a leech,” Andrew declared, pushing her car-door shut. She waved out the scrolled-down window as she careened off, leaving Andrew to his quiet but volatile thoughts. 
Your Neil, she’d said.
Now wasn’t that a confronting idea. 
*
“Suppose you are a danger to society,” Andrew drawled. They were sat opposite one another at another metal table, handcuffs dangling off one of Neil’s wrists, his blunt key being fiddled with in the other hand. “Suppose you are just as marvellously unhinged as dear old Dad. What then?” 
“Why bother entertaining the possibilities?” Neil cocked an eyebrow. “We both know I’m fine.” 
“You are the furthest thing from ‘fine’,” Andrew retorted. 
“You’re no paragon of mental health yourself,” Neil laughed, and Andrew wondered how the fuck he’d got himself here. 
Two months ago he’d met Neil for the first time. In two weeks his trial would begin, in his lovely hometown of Baltimore, Maryland. It’d be less of a drive for Andrew, so he didn’t mind. 
In two months, Andrew had found himself hanging onto every conversation. At first he clung on with apprehension. A wariness born out of unfamiliarity: he’d never been in the realm of wanting to associate with someone. Wanting someone’s company, their thoughts and opinions, their attention. It was ridiculous. Neil was a convicted murderer in a max-security prison. 
Then again, Andrew was the one who knew that Neil was undeserving of that title best. At most it was manslaughter. In reality it was a blessing. Ridding the world of the Butcher, a renowned and horrifically twisted serial killer, was a service to the public rather than a hindrance. 
And so Andrew had found himself in a strange position, between professionalism and exceptionalism. He almost couldn’t help it. He wanted to know what happened behind those ocean blues. 
“Someone’s been bored again,” Andrew accused, lighting a cigarette. That was illegal but he didn’t give a fuck. Neil gazed at where it rested between his lips, conflicted. 
He shrugged, caught out. “You’re an interesting person. Would it scare you to know we’re similar in more ways than one?” 
Andrew let a small smirk twitch around his smoke. “You should be more scared than I should be.” 
“Maybe I’ll go to law school when I’m out,” Neil leered, grinning. “Beat you at your own game.” 
“You can try,” Andrew said. “You’ll lose.” 
Neil hummed. His shackles jingled as he reached over the table for Andrew’s cigarette, his fingertips brushing over Andrew’s lips as he snatched it away. For a moment he watched the cherry’s glow, before letting it rest at the corner of his mouth. 
Unimpressed, and also oddly flushed, Andrew glared. 
“That sounds like a challenge,” Neil said, returning to the conversation like he hadn’t just stolen the cigarette out of Andrew’s mouth. Like Andrew hadn’t just let him. “If you get me out of this hell hole, I’ll prove you wrong.” 
“And if you don’t?”
Neil grinned. “Then you lose anyway. Don’t worry: I won’t cry.” 
“Good,” Andrew muttered, leaning back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest. 
Neil filled the rest of their valuable time with inane chatter about the more twisted happenings within a male max prison: Andrew had heard of similar stories and worse, but seeing as Neil instigated most of the fights, he still found it rather entertaining to be told. 
Before he knew it, their time was up. He stood, plucking the butt out from between Neil’s lips. 
“Till next time,” Neil said, a forlorn look at the cigarette between Andrew’s fingers. 
“I’ll text you about trial prep,” Andrew said, pointing at him. “Read it.” 
Neil sighed. “Not like it’ll help me in any way. But fine. I’ll waste my limited credit and battery on the shitty flipper for court etiquet.”
“You’d better, you ungrateful shit. I got you that phone.” 
Neil just winked and blew him a kiss. At Andrew’s scowl, he laughed. 
The laugh haunted - no, teased - Andrew all the way out of the stupid prison complex, across the car park, even as he blasted music on the way home.  
*
Andrew took one look at the woman who squirmed in her chair, leaning anxiously away from the middle-aged man next to her. It was instinctive and ingrained in her behaviours. An abusive father, then. Or, perhaps an abusive husband, if the twisting of her wedding ring was anything to go by. 
“Accept,” Andrew declared. 
“Do you have any qualms about gang violence?” the prosecution asked a balding man, lounging in his chair. 
“It’s a toxic function of our society,” he answered. 
The lawyer looked to the judge and smiled. “Accept, your honour.”
Fucking hell, Andrew thought. He glanced back over to the table, where Neil was cuffed to the iron loop. He didn’t smile, but simply tipped up his chin. An acknowledgement. Confidence in, well. Andrew. 
Something in Andrew’s stomach settled. He turned back to the man that the prosecution had accepted. “So you have heard of the Wesninski case?”
“It was ten years ago,” he objected. 
“What did you think of it?” 
“It was well resolved,” he said. 
“So you still garner some form of opinion against Wesninski?” Andrew eyed the Christian Society badge pinned to the strap of his messenger bag. “Surely your god would have some qualms with your inability to forgive,” 
“Mr Minyard,” the judge insisted. “That’s enough.”
It didn’t matter. The man was already spitting mad, going bright-red in the face. He pointed at Neil and hissed “He’s a monster, just like his father. God should’ve had him killed!” 
“Denied,” Andrew drawled. The man shuffled out of the jury box, frothing mad. 
By the end of the selection process, Andrew was sure that at least half of those sitting in the box would think emotionally rather than pragmatically. He settled back at his desk, ignoring the prosecution lawyer’s filthy glares, and tapped his fingers on Neil’s file. 
“I didn’t miss this,” Neil muttered, picking at the skin of his cuticles. 
From Andrew’s pocket he drew out Neil’s favourite key, of which he’d swiped after they’d searched Neil from head to toe. The man looked at him with undeserved awe, taking the blunt key and spinning it between his fingers. 
“Thank you,” he said. 
“Shut up,” Andrew retorted. 
The court was called to stand: Neil’s hearing had begun. 
*
FUCKs sake i was gonna try do this in three parts but the trial will be a whole part and the post trial too..... dammit lol
next we find out: what does the prosecution have up their sleeve? how will neil’s testimony go? what chaos will andrew cause in the courtroom? whose key does neil continually trace?? will neil be inevitably driven to distraction by andrew’s dope-ass suit?
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bluefrostyy · 5 years ago
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The demon under the eyepatch chapter 13 
"Gideon, we gave you our trust..." Durland sniffed with teary eyes.
"You LIED to us!" Manly Dan shouted and everyone started advancing towards the kid.
"Please, I... It's not what it looks like!" Gideon backed away until his back hit one part of his robot. "What are you gonna do with me?!"
"Burn him! Burn him!" The Pines chanted with smiles on their faces, but the townsfolk turned to look at Tyler, who was standing next to Gideon, expectantly.
"Tyler?" Durland asked, but everyone already knew the answer.
The man sniffed and wiped his tears. "Get 'im... Get 'im!"
Blubs looked at the boy wearing a blue suit. "Lil' Gideon, you are under arrest for conspiracy, fraud…" He took off his glasses. "-and breaking our hearts. Durland, the tiny handcuffs"
The Pines grinned when Durland put the tiny handcuffs on Gideon, who shouted.
"Wha-No!"
Seb ran to open the door of the police car and stopped Durland. "Hey, just one more thing!"
He picked him up by a leg and started shaking him hardly as if he was a barman shaker, making all the stuff he was holding fall down to the floor, including his deed and-and Journal 2!
Seb picked it up and looked charmingly at the cameras recording everything. "I think this belongs to me!" He posed when they started taking photos.
"No! No! Watch the hair! You can't do this to me! Y'all are sheep! You need me! I'll be back! You'll hear from my lawyers!" Gideon continued screaming until he was gone from view, and everyone crowded around the Pines, who waving excitedly at the crowd despite their bruises. Seb picked up his niece and sat her on his shoulder as he gave his little nephew a gentle nudge.
"There you have it. Local hero Sebastian Pines has just exposed Li'l Gideon as a fraud. Anything you have to say to the town, Sebastian?" Shandra put the microphone closer to the family and they laughed.
"The Mystery Shack is back, kid!"
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fragranceofdarkness · 7 years ago
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dan: please be gentle with the handcuffs! i have sensitive skin!
us:
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philiie · 7 years ago
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Interactive Introverts London highlights
MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD PROCEED AT YOUR OWN PERIL
This is also the most extra shit like I spent hours writing everything up lol
Go check out @danfanciesphil post here of the Brighton show which inspired me to do this :))
- When they first came it was the coolest thing ever. They were standing on the podium thing and the screen at the back lifted to reveal them in a cloud of smoke and they were silhouettes until the spotlight shined on them. Holy shit it was the best thing ever it doesn't even seem real.
- They were quite close to their apartment as well so Phil said they were considering bringing their sofa and "sitting in our browsing position".
- Dan mentioned how Phil's old videos from 2008 were very different from now (lots of audience approval) and how they were kind of really creepy and weird and honesty it probably isn't a good thing (I disagree but sure whatever). Phil talked about 'snokoplasm' and how it was literally just him rubbing slime over himself shirtless pretending to be futuristic (lots of audience approval for that lol) but he doesn't make videos like that anymore because he wants to make things that are actually entertaining and things he WANTS to make.
- Montage of everything they aren't gonna do in the show just so our expectations are levelled.
- They went backstage to get a silver box (Dan literally Naruto ran for no apparent reason) from which they were acting out the things using props from it in the centre while a voice narrated. In between each one the lights went darker so you could only see their silhouettes as they grabbed props. It was all very pantomime like which was really cool and theatrical.
- The things included: 24 hour livestream of them doing domestic home things (recording of dan on the toilet and Phil munching on crunchy nut appeared on the screen lmao), Erotic roleplay (Phil was in a policeman hat and had a baton thing while dan was in handcuffs. The recording of dan saying please be gentle, I have sensitive skin played), Stripping on stage... they started acting like they were going to actually take their tops off and they actually ripped them off to reveal an exact copy of the top underneath except Phil was now in a half sleeved shirt instead of full sleeved (I now understand Louise's joke)
- Phil stumbled and almost tripped on the step when going into the centre and was like "I almost forgot there was a step there" and was walking really strangely into the middle like elongating his legs after every time he lifted them and Dan made fun of it being like who tf walks like that. "Does anyone ever feel like Phil is actually an alien learning how humans work?" Later on in the show Phil says something about removing his lizard face and Dan says THAT would explain the weird walking. He also imitates Phil going up into the centre and says "I'm doing a Phil walk" v v cute :))
- For the Dan vs Phil segment they talked about the electric shock machines and for each round the pointer moved up one level of electric shock. The first time it moved into the yellow area and Phil said "Finger in the yellow" which elicited a massive audience reaction and dan stopped and was like oh god and Phil was giggling in his 'oops shouldn't have said that' way, somehow he made that adorable.
- The first round was seeing how well they know each other and Dan made the comment saying "don't worry guys I'm Phil trash #1 and all"
- Phil's question was: What did Dan swap alcohol with in ISG10?
Phil answered green tea correctly but the electric shock sound effect came up anyways. Dan was like no you answered that correctly it should have been a ding but the ding didn't come up anyways (lol tech crew nice one)
- Dan expressed extreme discomfort with 'x rated lester' "in any interpretation"
- Dan's bad thing was 'spoilers' and he tried to say that it's better to not be surprised. (I'm pretty sure this is the bit where he said "otherwise I'd be like 'Phil... Phil I don't feel so good'" reaching his arm out to him (infinity war reference for those who don't know,,, I could have killed him in that moment can he not) "Too soon? Yeah probably too soon."
- Phil's good thing that he had to make bad "getting unlimited money" Dan found that hilarious. His way of making it bad was that it gives you too much power- he would strap two planes together and stand on top of and ride them which would probably make them explode.
- They used the Isle of Man pic of Dan for the Dan, Phil or a rat segment (you guys know the one where he's smiling super happy) that just made me feel very warm :)
- The picture for Dan was just a really pale cream colour and Dan made the joke that it might be translucent enough to be Phil's skin but he said no I bet it's a troll and guessed rat. Turns out Dan was right and it actually was Phil's skin lmao from the picture of Phil with the silver hair dye.
- When Dan got electrocuted he fully hit his shin on one of the benches and basically died on stage. He fully snorted and turned away in shame and pain and it was the most hilarious thing ever. "Who designed this stupid set" LMAO
- Phil asks us to clap on the count of 3 after which some people immediately clap and Dan's like omg no on the count of 3. But then people start clapping for the people that clapped "are you seriously clapping for the people that just clapped" and then basically everyone started clapping and oh my gosh it was the best moment ever I've never felt more collectively part of something in that moment it was so funny and Dan looked so done with us all. A great moment.
- Someone asked in the getting deep part that there's a guy she likes but all she does is makes vine references. Phil's response to that is if he doesn't appreciate your vine references he's not worth it. Dan: "there's your dating advice from Phil"
- Phil was cleaning in 'Dan's' room (dan says "like you've ever done a chore") Phil's indignantly says he vacuums doing the hand movement. Apparently he found 'something weird' under 'Dan's' bed so he brought out a silver box that was locked saying it was heavy and handed it to Dan. [yes I'm putting that all in quotation marks fight me]
- He wanted the audience to guess what they thought was inside the box and the things that people said were: A single piece of Phil's hair, A fursuit and a Dildo(ll) rip they kept emphasising DOLL it was too funny nice one whoever that was lmao
- Phil was asking the audience if anyone had a key to open the box and Nora (what a legend) threw some plastic keys onto the stage and Phil fully tried to unlock the box using them lmao what a cutie. When Dan came back with the actual key Phil was like someone had plastic keys and dan was like wtf it was too funny.
- Do you really know Dan and Phil? 1% of people said 'who are Dan and Phil?' Lol they wouldn't stop bringing that up. 47% (?) of people said they don't really know Dan and Phil and Dan was like wow Phil why are you so shady? (He said this twice in the show when addressing the idea that their personalities are different online)
- They did a pie chart to show fave video series which apparently they were really excited about seeing as they hyped that up for a solid 2 minutes,,, "90% of the budget of the show was for this pie chart"
- Dan got sacrificed attached to the wheel of death comes out yelling with no warning so everyone is just screaming because it was so unexpected so i couldn't actually hear anything he said but the basic gist of it was fuck you all lmao.
- When Phil tried hitting him with a slinky it was a couple inches away from "the danger zone" I.e. Dan's crotch. Phil repeats the phrase danger zone two more times after that lmao.
- Dan says "almost hit my balls" w o w.
- The last time is some massive intense bazooka that Phil started stroking and then dan was like "stop stroking it- especially with those gloves on".
- Phil hits him the last time with the bazooka literally almost at his crotch and Dan screams. They say how it's all our fault and that we should feel bad. Phil is like "I don't think they feel guilty" lol I mean he's not wrong
- At the end dan was like "Phil help unstrap me" clearly looking for Phil to unstrap him around the waist but Phil went for his feet instead lmao (Dan just wanted a reaction from us Phil lmao well done). Phil finally got the memo though and helped and then dan stumbled out being like okay get away from me don't touch me and Phil just giggled.
- The white protection suit lab coat thing got stuck on dans shoe so he was hopping around and Phil was like do you need a hand there and Dan said "no Phil I don't need your help to get me undressed" and everyone screamed and Dan was like okay okay shut up (idk if that was an intentional line or not I couldn't actually tell but... nice)
- Phil's diss track happened and if you're reading this you've probably seen a transcript of it already but damn hearing him say bitch live was the best thing ever lmao. Also when he said the line about not wanting to get demonetised he did the making it rain hand gesture (thanks anon) which was hilarious
- There was a point where Dan was like no Phil you can't swear on stage and Phil was like aw why not I wanted to say "what the (fuck)" mouthing it and that's more than I could have ever hoped for
- They did the song and it was v cute and got stuck in my head. When Phil got up and sat on the piano he was swaying one leg back and forth and it was adorable.
- They ended the show bowing and went back behind the black screen that they came out from and were waving the whole way through and Phil was bending down to wave as the screen was going down and it was v lovely :))
And then I died the end.
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auroraphilealis · 6 years ago
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Can you please recommend me some good slow burn fics and/or chaptered fics. Thanks in advance xx
Are you READY?
Cause I have so many recommendations
Under the cut cause I went crazy
Give Me A Try @danfanciesphil - Dan, a bartender at ‘Habenero’, Brighton’s hottest gay club, has been obsessed with AmazingPhil, the openly gay Instagram model for a long time. In all the fantasy meet-cute scenarios Dan has imagined for he and his semi-celeb crush, none of them involved him being at work, being soaked in various liquids, or being halfway through a Saturday night hell-shift. Sometimes, life doesn’t wait around for your plans.
Ships that Pass in the Night @agingphangirl - Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.
The Meaning of Love @phandomsub - Phil Lester is an intern at the British Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Neko – an organisation that focuses on rescuing abandoned or mistreated neko and rehabilitating them for re-adoption. He can’t say he fully agrees with the way many neko are treated, but in a world where they have no rights Phil has to agree that being someone’s pet is the best option for them. Then neko #504 is brought into the shelter and Phil finally realises just how alike humans and neko are. 
Here By My Side (A New Color to Paint the World)  - So one day, Phil walks in on Dan wearing a dress. And after a very confusing discussion, it comes out that Dan enjoys wearing girl’s clothing in private. Phil lets it be known that he’d be fine if Dan wore it around him and slowly, Dan starts opening up and letting Phil into his private world. But what Phil doesn’t expect is to start seeing Dan in a whole new way.
breathe and ill breathe (and im in love with you)  - A series of one-shots in which we explore various kinks. Said chapters will include biting, dirty talk, blindfolds, rimming, orgasm control/orgasm denial, spanking and scratching, orders and obeying, handcuffs and leg cuffs, breath play, and wax play.
Stirring in Love - @andthenshesaid-write When Phil applied to be a contestant on the Great British Bake Off he didn’t even expect to make the long-list, let alone make it into the actual tent. But make it he does and there he meets Dan, a baker unlike Phil in every possible way. After a rocky start, Phil realises that maybe he can learn some things from Dan after all, and the biggest things have nothing to do with baking.This fic was nominated for the Phanfic Awards 2016 Best of the Best!
A Map of My Heart and Mind - Dan and Phil get drunk and wake up married in Vegas, the day after Dan’s 25th birthday. Dan thinks they could just get it annulled but Dan knows what marriage means to Phil, how important it is, and he wonders if they can just fake it for a year so it’s not a total waste and then divorce. Of course, a year is a long time to pretend to be married and things can always change…
Emergency Substitute @parentaladvisorybullshitcontent - “You could always charm Phil for us,” Jack suggests. “Throw him off his game.”“Right, yeah,” Dan says sarcastically. “Midway through the match I’ll just Summon his broom to me and he’ll fall off and then Gryffindor’ll automatically win.”“I didn’t mean that kind of charm,” Jack says, under his breath.In which Dan is roped into playing Quidditch when all he really wants is a quiet life. And for Phil to never leave Hogwarts.
Road to Acceptance Series @anerdwithakoreanhaircut - Dan never thought alcohol could bring anything but misery into his life, and…well, he was kind of right; the headache was painful and the memories of how he spent his 18th birthday were gone. He manages to break into someone else’s home. But it’s because of the alcohol he meets Phil, who impacts his life in more ways than one.
If You Think you Know Me @ineverhadmyinternetphase - Fiction. Phil’s a police Sergeant. He’s been itching to get promoted to Inspector for ages, but to do so, he needs to crack his biggest case - famed internet hacker the Howler. Phil’s been after him for years, but he’d never managed to get even a hint towards his identity. When he meets a hot stranger in a bar one night, Phil thinks his luck might just be turning up. But maybe getting close to this particular stranger isn’t the best idea.
Everything You Never Wanted - Phil is an omega, he’s spent nearly his entire life going to Eastbrook, an omega only school. When his parents make the decision to transfer him into an alpha,beta,omega school his whole life is turned upside down. Especially when he meets Dan Howell, an alpha who can’t seem to stand him. No matter how hard the two try to avoid each other the universe seems to keep pulling them together.
Our Threadbare Lies @ramonaspeaks - Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He’s ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.
Taking Every Chance I’ve Got - All Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.
Behind Closed Doors - Based very loosely on ‘A Little Princess’ and ‘David Copperfield’14 year old Dan Howell is sent away to boarding school leaving behind his abusive stepfather and incredibly ill mother. 17 year old Phil Lester is the school’s jack-of-all-trades who works his hardest under harsh circumstances to avoid the workhouse. The two boys meet and become close friends knowing they have to stick together if they are to survive the trials that lay ahead of them.
read between the lines (i will if you will) @phanbliss - Phil ^_^ (5:31 PM)Dan?danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (5:31 PM)yeah?Phil ^_^ (5:32 PM)I think I'm in love with youI justI can't wait to meet you--Skype conversations between Dan and Phil, leading up to their first meeting. 2009!Phan. Prepare for fluff.
First Impressions (Perhaps I Was Wrong) @phanbliss - Phil Lester goes back to university for his third year, expecting to live in the dorms with his childhood best friend PJ. That's how it's been for the past years, after all. However, due to a mistake of some sort, he finds himself with a new roommate to spend the semester with.Daniel Howell, three years his junior, has rich brown eyes, a laptop to hide them behind, and not more than two words to spare in Phil's direction. Phil is no fortune teller, but he foresees the upcoming months will be filled with a whole lot of awkward silence.Unless, of course, Dan proves him wrong...Could one little mistake lead to something entirely life-changing? Perhaps it could. After all, nearly everything changes when Phil meets Dan.-Excerpt: Dan's hair is soft against Phil's cheek, and his presence - gentle against his heart.Winner of Best Slow Burn in the Phanfic Awards 2016!
Reflections of the Heart - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).
Love Yourself @imnotinclinedtomaturity - A lot of things about Dan's life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he's got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He's currently lacking inspiration, he's rather lonely, and he's stuck in a rut.Dan's been going to the same coffee shop for years. It's quiet, it's quaint, it's near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that's he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista.
In My Way @ineverhadmyinternetphase - Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big.Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much.Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.
Let Me Down Gently @ineverhadmyinternetphase - AU in which Dan is (briefly) a lawyer, until he gets fired and kicked out by his girlfriend. Wandering alone at night looking for a place to stay, he happens across a slightly strange man who introduces himself as Phil and who owns a B&B. Without much choice, Dan takes up the offer to stay there, and quickly grows to have a certain fondness for Phil. There’s only one problem: Phil runs the B&B with his long-term partner Alex.
jump a lil higher @snsknene - Dan co-hosts The Breakfast Show. Phil's his new producer. They fall in love, assisted by a bunch of romcom tropes I refuse to apologise for.
danandphilKINKS @snsknene - "I've got mine!" Dan said, waving it triumphantly. Phil knew this was serious, then, because a) he hadn't procrastinated on it at all, and b) it was barely legible: he'd handwritten it.Or: Dan and Phil have a bucket list. Except with less seeing the Great Wall of China and more Googling how to wash enema.
Strangers @waveydnp - dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he's all alone -- until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can't exactly not return it, can he?
a match and a fuse @waveydnp - Phil is twenty six years old and stuck in a dead end life. He works at Starbucks and may or may not be carrying a torch for his best friend of eight years. He doesn't know who he is or what he wants--or how to go about figuring it out.That all starts to change when he happens upon the resume of a certain law school grad named Daniel.
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anotherfandomok · 6 years ago
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Interactive Introverts Richmond Summary! (Part 1 bc rambling)
Ok. My experience and a general summary. I'm gonna do my best I couldn't believe it was happening, before, after, or during it, and now I can't believe it happened. So.
I didn't get ready way too early this time! I loved my outfit it was so cute, and I drew whiskers on my wrist and my cousin did too :). I went over to my cousin's, and my aunt drove us to my uncle's office in Richmond. He took us to II it was so awesome of him. I was flipping out.
We got there and took pics with the signs and stuff I was vibrating and bouncing and shit I was so excited. We lined up and got in doors opened at six and it was a lot of little short lines so we got in really quickly. Immediately I wanted to go downstairs for merch.
We got in the merch line and like really like ahead in the line I was so proud of getting there so fast.
And I saw the like stand up thing background for the m&g?????? So I was like um wtf are they actually right there like thirty feet away from me? So I was watching it and had my phone ready to video. I SAW PHIL LESTER WITH MY OWN EYES LEAN FORWARD AND HUG SOMEONE. y'all you don't understand his hair is SO. BLACK. like it actually shocked me how black it was I guess it doesn't translate.
But anyway they had the last few people do the m&g, and then they left and Dan waved really quick and we all cheered and I GOT A VIDEO OF THEM AKFNDJSFBWJD.
Also, fan project tonight super cute just a pic of Virginia that said "VA LOVES YOU" I didn't know about it until I got there, but someone handed me a stack and asked me to pass them out and I was like um hell yes so I did that.
Anyway, we moved forward in the merch line and yo the line got so long I was so happy we went straight there omg. The merch setup was like really good! Very efficient they had a long table and everything up with prices and stuff it was so well set up and the guy who helped me was super nice.
I got both short sleeved shirts and the long sleeved shirt, as well as a hat and a poster, and my cousin got the hoodie, a poster, and the marble shirt. Cute as hell! It went really smoothly and quickly it was awesome and we just got right through.
We went to the bathroom and it had a lil ledge so we folded and organized our stuff and then went to the bathroom. Tbh the bathrooms there were REALLY nice, and not crowded at all when I went! The theatre itself was so nice you guys like I can't even believe how nice it was it was so fancy like pretty carpeted soft stairs and everything was so ornate and detailed and pretty. Just omg.
Anyway! Then we went and stood by the front doors for a bit and I handed out signs (if you saw me in the lacy white shirt and black shorts with short blond hair aye!). We sat in balconey D, so we went up (a LOT of stairs) and found our seats!
Seriously I can't overstate how gorgeous and amazing this theatre was so fancy with super soft seats and good room like it was so pretty and it had a ton of like Egyptian stuff on the walls omg it was so cool. Y'all. The set was GORGEOUS. Like the lights and the background and just. Wow. I felt so close even though we were the highest up, because everything was very stacked. We really weren't that far away even though we were towards the back like I could see the stage really well.
The set is so gorgeous wow. And I just jammed to all the songs on the preshow playlist it was so amazing I couldn't believe it was real.
Also Dan's Siri came on like twice and was like hi there's really nice merch downstairs and Dan left me to look at memes and stuff, and told us not to film bc iPads are bad lmao. (I filmed anyway don't arrest me).
Everyone FLIPPED SHIT when Welcome To The Black Parade came on oh my god it was so loud and amazing. The lights dimmed and off we went.
They opened with the really adorable video being projected omg my heart and then they rode in dramatically with their steam and everyone LOST THEIR SHIT it was amazing the crowd was so loud all night.
Phil read the Richmond Wikipedia page apparently (wow, nerd) lmao and talked about the rat basketball team. They literally mentioned the rat basketball team like at least six times throughout the show tonight y'all I'm.
Dan said shooketh at something at the beginning and I don't remember what it was but like djfndjsdbrb. Also he did the Naruto run the first time he ran off stage, and we all sCREAMED.
They did a smol duet of A Whole New World which I now know was inspired by the venue - it was so great though and Dan was like that's not what you want trust me it would start off good but it would quickly become horrible. It sounded really good though like I love them they should sing more.
I hadn't seen any spoilers about the beginning! They talked about what an introvert is and asked the introverts and extroverts in the room to cheer sjfbwjsj.
Dan had a six second challenge to pretend to be a llama sitnfndntkejr he pranced and did a noise we all DIED and then he was like "-NO!" it was hilarious sjfndjsnebd.
The segment about what they weren't gonna do had me shook I nearly died. "Please be gentle with the handcuffs; I have sensitive skin" IM DEAD.
Also when they went to walk up and pretend to strip and then they RIPPED OFF THEIR SHIRTS TO REVEAL IDENTICAL SHIRTS UNDERNEATH YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK.
We were all really sad about the puppies so Phil said we'd get to see more puppies later in the show and we all screamed and Dan said if you're gonna promise puppies you better follow through.
When they offered to let people touch their hair I was like sjgbdjdbdjabfsn. Pastel personas skgbsjfkekfje??? They put on flower crowns and brought stuffed animals up to the front of the stage wow my heart.
They were like we're not gonna bring up a whole bunch of other YouTubers - because we have no friends and no one replied to our messages.
I can't remember for shit, but the whole beginning segment was just amazing. When they finished talking about how the show was interactive they were like "so that's why now we're going to make one of you stand up at random!!!!!!!" And they shined all the lights up and for a second it was chaos and then they were like kidding kidding we're just kidding and Phil was like your faces were priceless and Dan was like okay you can tell who the introverts and extroverts are the introverts are like crawling into a ball in their seats like "DONT PICK ME" I've never seen 3000 people curl up into a ball before. It was terrifying but also amazing!
Truth bombs! Honestly, I thought they were gonna do all the ones from the website, but they only did one each.
Phil's torture confession would be being bathed in cheese (Dan talked about if that included scrubbing, or if it included scrubbing under flaps y'all I was so done oh my god), but other options were mouth noises in headphones in his ears (to which Dan then did HORRIBLE and horribly loud mouth noises into his mic oh my god it was the worst thing my ears have ever heard ajtbcjejgsj *vomits* he said "not the asmr you came to hear, sorry") and ??? (Help I forgot)
Dan dreams about Nick Jonas in a fursuit at night ("the two things I lease wanted to hear right now, combined), but other options were a dark abyss ("no that's what I see when I look in the mirror") and a one direction reunion.
They would die from "Bees?" But other options were Dan falling out of the gaming chair and taking Phil down with him, and burning down the flat after setting a fire during a baking video gone horribly wrong (both of the runner ups they said were extremely realistic and plausible and they were like are you guys surprised we aren't dead yet we were all like yah). Dan was like where are the bees going to come from???? THAT FLAP keep you eyes on it.
We're real people with free will so you can't just make us do whatever you want, BUT we have made a simulation with a tiny Dan and Phil where you choose what they would do in completely normal, everyday situations that we experience in real life. Remember, tiny Dan and Phil still have emotions and can feel shame and guilt, so this is our test to see if you are responsible enough to be in control during this show - please do what you would actually want us to do if you were controlling us in real life.
Simulation! They have been working on this since they were FETUSES. Not babies, fetuses they were up in their mom's bellies with laptops editing this, and they spent billions of pounds and thousands of Richmond dollars (idk why they said Richmond dollars so many times during the show but sjtbsjdjd it was cute) on it.
Phil first he went to Barstucks (the simulations didn't want to get sued) and got a unicorn death frappe, with lots of sugar so he was vibrating, and he accidentally tweeted a picture of him in his underwear. Shirtless Satan appears and we all cheered for Satan they were concerned and Phil sold his soul to Satan to take the pic down bc he dropped his phone in his drink lmao. SATAN TAKES HIM TO HELL AND THERES DEMON DAN AND HE HAS A POTATO AND HE POTATO PRESSES PHIL TO DEATH FOR ETERNITY. then Phil was like "I still remember the feeling of a wet potato being pressed to my back" I was like sjbsjsjdsj ew.
Dan talked to the furry in the park and went to a furry rave (didn't show him the good Shiba Inu memes he had) and did body shots off of an otter and entered the ladydoor and slipped on the floor and died in his slothbear fursuit. Lmao rip (I'd already heard that ending though). Dan said the show was officially demonitized, and also said "there was an attempt" after people cheered for the good option lmao.
At the end they were like what a waste of all our billions of dollars and all the time spent editing as fetuses.
At the end of the simulation Phil talked about it being like a mob mentality and Dan compared it to fandoms and how if you like something and everyone else seems to have the same reason for liking it or whatever, the people who it especially means some thing to, their voices can get lost. And that's what this show is all about giving the people what they want and getting all the voices and stuff. Fandoms are often seen as one collective unit but you can't expect them all to want the same thing because they're all made up of very different individuals. Etc. It was good.
Our collective name was Kevin. We did a coordinated clap ("the asmr you do want to hear") it was the coolest fucking thing ever ajrnejfnej to build the hive mind. Then we chose a breed of dog for them to get "they just want us to get a dog Phil that's all they want" and Phil led it he was like I think I can get everyone to think the same thing, and we chose Fluffy the very terrifying Chihuahua it was so cool how they did it and that was the one I got so yay! They asked who didn't get fluffy and then they were like "that's okay that just means you aren't part of Kevin... YET." And then they just kept saying how we needed to get inside Kevin and stuff it was like okay wow.
Then we had the WHATS UNDER DANS BED. First of all that box is fucking hilarious, and I think Dan mentioned Phil just wanting an excuse to use props lmao. They explained it and then Phil brought out the audience participation balls "Phil has three balls." Okay. But they really emphasized how if you didn't want it you could just throw it to someone who did like they were so nice and understanding about it and when the music stopped Phil asked and made sure everyone who had one wanted it :). Also they were like keep the answers like amazingphil channel okay keep it PG. But it was actually a really cool concept and the lights went rainbow when they were throwing them around, which I LOVED! The three answers were an anthill but the ants are tiny dogs, a fursuit made of maltesers, and "I think he's trolling us and it's empty"/nothing. Y'all Phil was like has anyone seen a key under their seat and Dan was like wait what are we talking about wait no no I have the key akfnfjejd. They opened it, got the silver tube, opened that and got the scroll, and then they were like this has been in the tube in the locked box on the stage the whole time how could it possibly say what three random members of the audience said, and then they SLOWLY UNROLLED IT AND IT SAID TINY DOG ANTHILL, FURSUIT, AND NOTHING YALL I WAS SHOOK OUT OF MY MIND LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HAVE MADE THE SHOW WAS MAGIC AND THEY JUST DID THAT OH MY GOD. I'm still shook about it.
Then Phil took the banner and tore it up into like three or four big pieces and was like okay guys tear it up and pass it around tear and share I was so shook I was like oh my god I want a piece of that banner but obviously I was balconey, so they were ripping off pieces and passing it around and Dan and Phil were like omg it's like the walking dead down there "oh my gosh... That is.. violent." I was so shook that they did that like that was so nice and good like snejdbdabfbo.
Survey! Dan dabbed when he said statistics and Phil was like don't dab to statistics and Dan dabbed again and was like math *dab* there was so much unnecessary dabbing it was wow. Phil likes to use props and costumes so the brought out the glasses and clipboards YALL THEM IN GLASSES IN REAL LIFE 😭. Phil read the options for the audience participation one really dramatically and Dan was like "Phil wrote all the answers to these questions obviously" to which Phil replied "I wanted to make them spicy." 68% like audience participation, sixty some feel like they really know Dan and Phil (8% said who are Dan and Phil and Dan was like where do you think you are Shrek the musical? It was so good. I think Phil said maybe that's the parents. Incredible.) (Unnecessary third option bc Phil wanted to see what would happen - it used the middle screen) 40% like the sims the best, but pinof had 36%. Ditl had 16%, and baking and crafts both had four. They ROASTED the four percent who love crafts lmao it was great. (They spent the whole tour budget on the pie chart for the video series lmao it was FANCY) Sixty percent of people whlant Dan and Phil to give the people what Dan and Phil want, so I was really proud of us and Dan seemed surprised and happy about it he said Augusta was like ninty percent what the people want lmao.
ONE FINAL QUESTION WE ASKED YOU DAN OR PHIL BUT THATS TOO EASY NO WE ASKED YOU WHO WOULD YOU SACRIFICE BUT DAN NO ONES REALLY GOING TO BE SACRIFICED RIGHT THIS IS JUST A QUESTION ON A SURVEY IN A STAGE SHOW "I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT ABOUT DAN AND PHIL THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES... RIGHT?"
SUPER DRAMATIC SACRIFICE DAN OR PHIL "YOU MIGHT SAY I CANT CHOOSE TOO BAD THE WORLD IS FULL OF HARD DECISIONS ONE OF US WILL BE STRAPPED TO THIS WHEEL" PHIL SAID "ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE PUT IN MORTAL DANGER RIGHT NOW" AND THEN THEY BOTH JUMPED ONTO THE PLATFORM WITH THE WHEEL AND RODE IT BACKWARDS AND THEN INTERMISSION HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE SO DRAMATIC AND EXTRA OH MY GOD IT WAS INCREDIBLE.
I'm forgetting so much but I'm gonna do this in two parts. Intermission seemed to come so quickly! It was at almost eight forty. Intermission was cool I stood up and stretched my legs bc as soon as I sat down my left leg fell asleep and it's still fucked up the. Some more jams though, and the last song they play was The Final Countdown lmao.
Quick note they are both so beautiful ??? Like?? I couldn't stop staring at their fucking legs oh my god and Dan's knees with his ripped jeans help. Also, I was mesmerised by the way Phil walks? And the way he runs and skips and does little jumps and shit? Like it's actually really graceful his legs are So Long and I'm just obsessed with watching him walk around omg. In summary - Legs ™
Edit: I totally forgot about the airhorn during Truth Bombs ajgbfjrnfsiej it was WILD Phil kept playing with it and pressing buttons to make noises before we even started doing Dan's, and Dan was like omg stop but we were all cheering because obviously it was amazing and Dan was like don't cheer when he does that you're encouraging him and we just cheered louder. (Phil also stroked the airhorn remote - the number of times some variation of the word stroke was said tonight..... So much)
At some point during the beginning they talked about why everyone loves the sims bc you can make people and make them do whatever you want and Phil was like like put a hundred sims in a swimming pool and remove the ladders and watch them drown slowly and I used to do that a lot as a kid does that say something and Dan was like that would explain a lot actually (I swear to God he said that phrase about Phil like three or four times throughout the show like wow). And Phil was like you could also make them woohoo with a skeleton or an alien and HE THRUSTED TO EMPHASIZE HIS POINT I WAS LIKE JESUS FUCK STOP PLEASE.
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thatqueerbxtch · 6 years ago
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Schenectady interactive introverts moments
Dan saying he’s Phil trash #1
Dan playing the piano
“Schenectady dollars”
Phil saying “bitch” and “shit”
Dan: time for a *dabs* STATISTIC *dabs*
the crowd screaming MCR
the crowd furiously air bracketing at Dan
Phil’s diss track
Dan died in a furry rave in a lady door
Wholesome Howell and x-rated Lester
Dan talking about dropkicking babies
Phil refusing to eat a block of cheese to save dan from dying
Everyone cheering when dan mentioned the inevitability of death
“Please be gentle with the handcuffs I have sensitive skin”
The entire theater engaging in a synchronized clap
People chanting “world war three”
WORLD WAR YEE
Phil saying yee
Phil’s “strip” tease
Phil sells his soul to Satan
“Did anybody not get it? Because if you didn’t you did it wrong!”
“Hey buddy can I have some editing tips”
THEM BOTH SINGING
Dan saying they’re “soulmates”
Phil’s squats
Dan doing the nuruto run off stage
“Let’s get casuallllll”
“Your mums anus”
“Dan, Phil or rat”
“Zappy zappy ouch time”
Dan simulator being his face on a horse saying “ride me Senpai” and Phil saying “sorry I’ve been working on that for my own personal fantasy”
How dan said we should “do away with gender”
Dan saying “thi c c c c. C”
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mcwxlr · 6 years ago
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everything i can remember from the ii show tonight (atlanta)
-phil said he had three balls, said something about going inside susan (us), dan said “choke me daddy, and not in the fun way”
-dan got sacrificed
-phil hit dan in the middle of his left thigh, his inner right thigh, and near his armpit
-dan asked why we wanted to remove his genitals
-he said something like “you guys would like me better without genitals”
-the things in dans box was dans nonexistent friends, the password to dans secret phil stan twitter account, and dans fursuit
-dan said his twitter @ is philsthiccbooty
-phil got the paint or whatever it was from the bazooka on his right tit
-the dilemmas were “phil gets infinite candy but dan has to cut his finger off” (dan said no) and “dan gets to play with a puppy for a week, but phil has to eat a block of cheese” (phil said yes awww)
-on the first dilemma phil was like “you can cut off a finger, you don’t need it, you have 10!”
-“dan and phil, best friend and soulmates” AHHHH
-phil said bitch in his diss track infosnfkfnkfdnjfn
-when dan was undressing after being sacrificed he tried to go behind a box but was bent so his butt was facing us and we all were like “YESSSSSS” and he turned around
-phil got the buzzer and clicked three sounds in a row and dan was like “phil you don’t need to use all the sounds at once, it doesn’t add dramatic effect” and phil thot dropped, clicked the slam noise thing and said “yes it does”
-i think more than half of the audience liked audience participation (??? how???)
-in the things they said they weren’t gonna do it was erotic roleplay and the lights shut off, then came back on and dan was doing the dainty knee pose and holding the handcuffs and phil was on the other side with a police hat and baton and he was smacking his hand with the baton and said something along the lines of “dan, you’ve been a bad, bad boy” and dan said “please be gentle with the handcuffs i have sensitive skin” (position of it i drew in picsart with my finger included below)
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-phil tied his shoes and he looked cute
-dan and phil don’t look real
-on the things they weren’t doing one of the things was “get completely naked” and they were erotically rubbing their torsos and then ripped off their shirts to reveal the same shirts underneath
-phil kept making an innuendo about a something-block that was related to a cockblock kind of
-phil called dan curly boye
-they kept making the joke that the show was like aladdin
-dan said he was jasmine
-we sacrificed phil to satan in the simulation and dan was like “are yall CHEERING for SATAN??? i thought this was the south?????”
-4% of the audience said they didn’t know who dnp were and after they made us remake the yee vine dan was like “the 4% of people here who don’t know who we are must be VERY confused. they just wanted to see aladdin. jasmine must look very weird, i’m trying my best guys.”
-“there’s no jesus in this room tonight.” -dan howell
-on wholesome howell vs x-rated lester when it was still showing dan as evil and he had that black lipstick on dan said something about it but i don’t quite remember but i think it was something positive about it
-another thing from the things we aren’t doing was “dressing up in our pastel fursonas” or something and they had ears or something and phil had a stuffed rabbit teddy and the narrator was like “can we get an aww?” and we all aww’d and dan fake gagged
-they named us susan
-they were like “on 3, clap” and we all started clapping and dan was like “BAD SUSAN. SUSAN, STOP. SUSAN, SIT. SUSAN, BEG”
-some events led to dan saying “looks like phil got a bit TOO excited. you should go take a cold shower”
-on the mind reading bit dan said “pepe” (i think) and phil said “guacamole” and dans like “wait whAT DID YOU SAY??” and phil starts singing the guacamole song and dans like “NOO I JUST GOT THAT SONG OUT OF MY HEAD”
-dan ended up in a polyamorous relationship with five furries
-phil was stroking the tension and dan was like “WHY ARE YOU STROKING THE TENSION?? I DON’T THINK IT WANTS THAT”
-on the full rotation of the wheel dan looked like he was trying to curl in on himself. poor boy
i will update if i remember more. also i recorded the audio of like 17 mins of the first half but the audio is really shit so idk if i’ll upload it.
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badiiideas · 7 years ago
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The entire show is just a recording of Dan saying "please be gentle with the handcuffs, I have sensitive skin."
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pseudophan · 7 years ago
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nora please be gentle with the handcuffs i have sensitive skin
we really didn’t need another quote like this i hate dan and phil
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Rec This Thing: Interactive Introverts
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Interactive Introverts in Amsterdam RAI, evening show on June 2nd
Story: Dan and Phil decided to give the people what they want.
My Story: Okay, fun fact, I bought my ticket on June 1st. When they first announced their tour, my friend Sammy immediately bought tickets for her and her sister and she asked me to come along.
I declined.
After all, I wasn’t that big of a fan of Dan and Phil and I decided that people who are actual fans of them could have my possible ticket. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I became fan of them and both shows were sold out. Yup. Bummer. Instant regret. Total sadness. So Sammy promised to tell me everything yada yada since I couldn’t go. Then just over 24 hours before the show, Sammy sent me a message that there were five seats left for €55.
Crap.
Okay, I decided to do it. Fuck work the day after. Let’s go. And boy, am I glad I did.
Rating (1 to 10): 9
Why?: QUITE DETAILED SHOW SUMMARY UNDER CUT, SPOILERS!
Alright, yup, I’m just going to write down everything, including the entire show. Or at least what I remember cause holla, this is done from memory.
Basically, we arrived in Amsterdam after a lot of panic because my bus didn’t drive so we were about to miss our train. I ran back home and yelled to mum to grab the car (called Snuit) cause HOLY FUCK MY BUS IS 6 MINUTES LATE AND WITH THE NEXT BUS I WILL MISS MY TRAIN FOR SURE.
But okay, Amsterdam. We got there around four? First we checked out the venue, which wasn’t hard to find because their matinee show had just ended, so we just had to follow the stream of fans who were leaving, and then we had dinner at this Japanese place. Then around 18:30 we were back at the venue. Only VIP was allowed to go in already, so we decided to buy merch. The place was packed, so they decided to already open the merch stand. Good thing we got merch (I got a poster) before the show, because other merch was sold during intermission and after the show. Almost no one got merch during intermission, because it was only 20 minutes long, and after the show the line was insane. Probably 2,5+ hours wait time.
We found our seats. We got split up. Sammy and her sister had a great seat (row 9) and I sat on the other side of the theatre in a balcony seat which was fucking great as well. They put on Dan’s playlist and that playlist was banging. Sometimes, Dan’s Siri interrupted. I mean, they were playing Hard Times when I entered the theatre- great start. 
And of course they came on stage after Welcome To The Black Parade.
First we had a video kinda introducing danis not on fire and AmazingPhil and then they came in on a moving plaform. Like, their set was so minimalistic but also so great?
After the “Hello! Hi!” stuff they talked about being in Amsterdam (”Amsterdamn” - Phil) and how Phil is feeling a bit sick because he decided to eat tons of stroopwafels (strupwaffles, they called it). Dan called him out, because when you buy a pack of stroopwafels, they are obviously not supposed to be eaten at the same time.
Oh, and those poor foreigners aren’t used to shit ton of bikes in Amsterdam (or in the entire Netherlands tbh) so they were talking about how they almost got killed by bikers while crossing the road. 
They were obviously telling us what to expect and all of that.
Then first, What are we not going to do. They acted out everything they were not going to do. I only remember the erotic roleplay, because they did cop roleplay and it was fucking hilarious (”Please be gentle with those handcuffs, I have sensitive skin” - Dan), and the part where they dressed up as their cute pastel versions.
Truth Bombs came next. Phil got asked something among the lines of: “What Olympic sport would Phil excel in?”
Keeping houseplants alive
I forgot.
SPORTS??? LMFAO!
(If anyone’s reading this… if you happen to know the missing parts cause you were at the same show, hit me up.)
Phil said something about how avoiding bikes in Amsterdam is a sport and then he procceeded to jump over the small hexagon on stage. He chose the houseplants.
Dan’s question was: “What is in Dan’s browser history?” 
Fursuits (I think???)
I also forgot.
Something with Shrek 
Which was ironic, because Shrek the Musical played at the RAI. I don’t remember what Dan chose.
Then, “How will they die?” 
Demonetization
They fall off stage in a few minutes
I forgot….
Honestly, they kept talking about demonetization during the entire show. Every time they said something too raunchy, they’d say something like “We’re getting demonetized.”
I think the Simulator came next? Anyway Phil started out with ordering a unicorn frappuchino and he ended up being killed by Satan cause he tried make a deal with him to restore his twitter account after accidentally posting a sexy photo of himself in his pants. We cheered for Satan, and they kept reminding us of that during the entire show. 
Dan was outside for once and got approached by a furry, did body shots of an otter, and ended up dying in an underground furry rave after he decided to use the ladies’ restroom.
After that, Phil synced us all as Linda, so hooray, we were all Linda. Now as Linda, we could continue to the magic trick and the audience participation. What is hidden in the mysterious box that Dan hid under his bed? Our three answers were: cereal, a panda, a fursuit. 
I still don’t know how they did this trick. The box was unopened on stage all the time. Sammy and I first came up with this special electronic paper, but then we realised Phil gave it to audience members to rip it up and fight about it.
I only remember three questions asked during the Survey. There was apart about their favourite content and Dan was very happy to present it as a pie chart. Also “Do you think you know Dan and Phil?”
Yes
No
Who is Dan and Phil?
After joking about how all the parents answered the last answer, they noticed a small percent still answered no, and they talked about authenticity on YouTube and sure, they put themselves out there because they want to entertain people, but that they are still genuinely themselves and that they’re not faking it. But if you wanted to see the non-entertaining version of them, you’d be bored. (”On my sofa, with an overheated laptop on my crotch and a bag of crisps under my chin and me trying to eat them with my tongue cause I’m lazy” - Dan).
Then, of course the “Dan or Phil?” question and they presented the wheel and they made the most dramatic act one exit I’ve ever seen, and I am a Broadway fan.
During intermission, the two women next to me were talking about merch and I told them where to find it. Then I exited the theatre. Sammy’s sister bought Pringles and I bought M&Ms and the three of us were kinda shocked to see the queue for the merch stand. Those poor fuckers.
We went back to the theatre and I talked about the merch again, because I happened to know the whole merch stand and its prices by heart after looking at it for 45 minutes (hoodie €40, sweater €30, wristband €5, poster €10, Dan and Phil plushies €25, denim jacket €65, two t-shirts €20 and €25, keycord or whatever it is called €10, cap €15, woops I still know it).
Back to the show! Phil was on the wheel and Dan used a slingshot, a bow and arrow, and a bazooka. And afterwards Phil was showing off his ass while taking off that white body suit. He said he was dizzy and Dan dared him to jump over the hexagon again, but Phil refused.
Okay anyway the next thing I remember is the wholesome Daniel and X-Rated Lester part (”I’m already feeling naughty” - Phil). In the beginning they had this whole talk about authenticity and how they are still humans bla which was really cool. Since I am a recent fan, I completely missed the actual wholesome Daniel craze, but yeah, they talked about how they are actual people and sometimes, they don’t meet certain expectations of fans.
Also, at one point in the show, Dan was talking about God and he yelled “Spite me, daddy!” and I think it was around this moment. The entire crowd yelled.
Alright Dan had to sweet talk disturbing fan fiction, Hello Internet, and another thing uuuuhm. I don’t remember. Anyway, he kept saying “Oh for God’s sake!”, especially at the Hello Internet one.
Phil had to bad mouth cute animals, endless kittens (he failed), and ugh I have also forgotten his last one. The person who sent in cute animals sat in front of me and it was just absolutely amazing to see how happy she was to see her submission on screen.
Then the Dan vs. Phil friendship game. There was a lot of stuff, but I remember some. I can’t believe they shocked each other, but maybe that is because I’d read the Milgram Experminent earlier that week.
First, psychic connection. They both had to name the same number between 1 to 20 and they failed. 
Then a dilemma. Dan got the dilemma: “Guest star in Infinity War 4 or Phil gets thrown in a pool of cheese?”
Phil had to choose between: “A billion dollars or Dan will never be able to see dogs again?” According to Phil, he’d buy two big airplanes and then merge them together for an ever bigger airplane.
Then the Dan or Phil or Rat. They both got it right. Phil just got a photo of something white, but he guessed that it was his own pale skin and Dan got some hairs and he guessed that it was a rat.
Trivia. Dan needed to name 3 pre-2008 Phil videos and succeeded. Dan thanked Phil for uploading his newest video about his his old deleted stuff. Phil needed to recall the kind of cake that Colin ruined and failed.
There was probably more to Dan vs. Phil but I am blanking. Phil got the big shock (”I’m Phil trash no. 1!″ - Dan).
Then the intimate moment. Or personal. Phil called it intimate and Dan just went “PERSONAL? DON’T CALL IT INTIMATE, IT’S PERSONAL” and then proceeded to point out that Phil has a degree in English language.
It was just so down to earth. There were three questions, and I remember two. The first person asked for an appropriate name for their zoo animal YouTube channel. I forgot the name they recommended, but they said it was great that this person had a clear theme.
I remember one person saying that she wants to be a singer but her parents want her to go into medicine and well first they were like “hey singing doctor!”. But they talked about how passion is important and how they both didn’t do what was expected and how they are much happier now (“Lawyer Dan is as awful as a singing doctor!” - Dan) but I unfortunately forgot the other two questions. It was just a really nice moment where both Dan and Phil just sat down to have a chat. Oh and they also talked about Phil’s apparent awful handwriting.
Then the power came back on and I think that is when the Awards happened? Glitter jackets af and a self-made statue (”Two naked men in bondage really represents Dan and Phil” - Phil, or something like that.)
The first category was: Best dressed pet as Dan and Phil.
A lizard wearing a flower crown while watching the video of Black Parade won.
A cat wearing Dan’s merch.
I don’t even know but it looked like Dan was riding Phil so that was that. I suppose it was a dog.
And then Most inaccurate expectation of the show
I fucking forgot first place.
Two hour long Hamilton reenaction with Chris Evans.
Them giving birth on stage.
Also the most annoyed parent was just incredibly funny. I remember the winners but hey I don’t feel comfortable just sharing their names cause… privacy. I know the winner sat on the second row and all kids were pointing at her and I guess Dan and Phil saw her and said: “This was probably the worst day of your life, thank you for sharing it with us!” “You probably thought you were seeing Shrek the Musical.”
And then back to the scripted part, aka the Big Finale. A dog video that has nothing to do with the show, PHIL’S DISS TRACK, Dan at the piano, and them singing a duet. This ain’t Broadway, but it was still kinda nice and just sweet.
And well, that is it. They runned around on stage, waving at everyone, saying goodbye. Then they stepped on their moving platform and they disappeared.
Some random things:
Phil kept calling a part of the set a “flap” which annoyed Dan.
Dan… just… couldn’t… stop… dabbing…
They hinted at a new gaming video that involves a lot of Dan’s screaming - coming next week.
So many pride flags in the crowd.
Phil and Dan sounds wrong.
There was one moment where a picture of Dan’s had pasted on a horse from My Horse Prince appeared with a text bulb saying “Ride me, senpai” but I don’t remember when that happened. I think before the Simulator?
Interactive Introverts kind of reminded me of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. There’s clearly a format and a script, but thanks to audience participation, no shows are the same.
But in all seriousness, as my friend Rowan @rothetree pointed out, the entire message of this show was about how Dan and Phil are just human. As Ro put it: “On a serious note, there’s a whole underlying theme to this show, which was them basically going “Hey, we’re real people, stop objectifying us"”. This felt so in line with what the three of us were talking about. Me, Sammy and Sammy’s sister had to endure a two hour train ride and we talked a lot about fandom’s perception on real life people they stan and how they sometimes reduce those people to the image they have in their minds.
Cause we were talking about stuff like real life shipping, and about how celebrities are being seen, and how the moment they do something the fans don’t like, you get all those moments of “X is not real anymore!”
Newsflash asshole, they are people with feelings, and just because you don’t want to see those feelings, doesn’t mean they don’t have them. For example, Sammy was talking about how one K-POP star basically got stalked at an airport and when he clearly showed his dislike of it, people were all “OH MY GOD HE DOESN’T LIKE HIS FANS HE IS SO RUDE HE’S NOT WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS” and I gave the example of people saying Darren is “no longer himself” after he called out the people who are seriously threatening his fiancée and all that stuff.
Before the show started, we overheard two other fans talking about how they should come out bla bla bla, and just… no? That is so personal and we are not entitled to that at all? 
To quote Ghostly, they are not our dolls. We can’t dress them up in whatever way we want.
I recently read I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman, which follows a band from the fans’ POV and through the band’s POV and how sometimes those things clash, and I feel like with Interactive Introverts, Dan and Phil wanted to show people who they are to avoid a clash like that. That’s why they kept talking about how they value authenticity, while they are aware of the fact that they are also putting on a show. Or how, when people have certain images of them, how unrealistic those images can be and that they cannot live up to the expectations, and therefore it is important for fans to realise that. The tagline is: “Giving the people what they want!” and they did that without having to change for the fans’ sake.
As Rowan (rothetree, not Rowan from the book I Was Born For This) said: "we don’t own their image or expect too much from them. Something about their interactions with us is changing in a really good way."
Because that exactly.
Since I am a recent fan and I got my ticket one day before the show, I wasn’t aware of the questions, but in the “Do you think you know Dan or Phil?” (as they said: or do you think we’re people putting up a whole show) I would’ve answered a solid “no”, because I always think it’s dangerous to say that you know a celebrity, but after this show, I’d vote “yes”, because the way they acted on stage and the way they conveyed their message of “yes, we’re putting on a show right now because we want to entertain you guys, but we still care about authenticity” was well done.
And that is what made this show so great and enjoyable. Yes, it was a show and there were scripted parts, but it was still very genuine.
Recommend?: Yes, please, just like TATINOF, put it online for sale!
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