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yennefer-of-vengerbergs · 1 year ago

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A little fun, as it were...

...or how Astarion and Syanna end up giving Bhaal the proverbial middle finger when they find an improvised altar for the god of murder.

Takes place in Act 3 (post The Pale Elf), and in terms of my own fics, after Confession (each can be read separately though)

Pairing: Astarion x f!durge

Explicit/18+

Read below or on Ao3

It had become a habit for them, looting a place of all they could carry and might prove valuable. After all, how was a merry band such as their own supposed to earn any money for the supplies they needed for their adventure? So yes, any abandoned building was fair game for this, such as the one Syanna and Astarion found themselves in.

For all intents and purposes, it seemed like nothing special, simply another empty house just outside of Baldur’s Gate, whatever possessions inside, long forgotten. For the most part, that was the case, with the exception of a suspiciously locked room. Astarion in particular seemed equally pleased and intrigued by it and had set to picking the lock, wondering out loud what they might find there. Jewels? Gold? Jewels and gold?

“Realistically? Probably a corpse.”

“Oh come now darling, just because it happened before doesn't mean it will happen this time.”

Syanna grinned. “Fair enough. Two corpses then, for variety.”

“How positively dark and tragic of you to assume my dear.I was thinking more in the lines of treasures.”

She waved a hand at nothing in particular. “There could be. On the corpses.”

Astarion laughed, delighted by the joke, and continued picking the lock. “You truly do put the fun in funeral, darling.”

He did enjoy her humor, twisted as it was sometimes, one of the more subtle hints of her life from before, when the dark urge inside her mind would possess her and make her crave murder and violence. But that was now over, their only concerns left being to defeat the Absolute, cure themselves of the tadpoles and somehow survive the whole ordeal.

But first, loot.

A few more moments passed and the door was finally unlocked and opened.

Syanna walked in first and groaned immediately. “Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Astarion followed in and saw what had caused her reaction. An improvised altar for Bhaal, on the opposite side of the room. She assumed it was there from when the Bhaalist murders were occurring all over Baldur’s Gate and in its vicinity.

It was no secret that neither of them had any kind of regard for the lord of murder, not after everything Syanna had been through. Her oh so loving father had gone as far as killing her when she had refused to become his chosen again.

So this was , quite frankly, insulting, as if someone was being petty at their expense, and it had immediately soured her mood.

Astarion being Astarion, tried to make a joke.

Making fun of father dearest would surely cheer her up, at least a little. “Well, I would rather we found the corpses, at least those might have had something valuable on them. Instead, we get nothing but poor decor.” He gesticulated around him, ending with pointing at the objects on the make-shift altar.

No response.

He tried again. “I mean really, they couldn't pick a god with more taste to do this for? A bit of flair, is that too much to ask? A sense of style? Some actual offerings, not…whatever that is?”

Silence, still. She was staring at that altar, not understanding why, of all the things they could have found, they found this. It bothered her. It bothered her too much. She was free of his influence, her uncontrollable urges a thing of the past. Her mind, her choices were finally her own, and only her own.

So why was this making her feel anxious, haunted even, as if she couldn't get away, as if Bhaal himself would continue to follow her, despite him tossing her aside in the first place, declaring he had no use for her if she refused and defied him at every turn?

She vaguely acknowledged Astarion moving closer to her, but seemed to snap out of her thoughts and actually look at him only once he was in front of her, gently taking one her hands in his own ones.

“This is troubling you, isn't it?”

“I…hm...” she paused for a few moments and then nodded. “I don't even know why it's bothering me so much to be honest.”

“Well, I think I would be just as livid if I saw someone had made an altar for the person that killed me, dear.” He frowned. “Urgh, can you imagine, an altar for Cazador?”

Her own frown deepened. “I would burn that down in a heartbeat if I ever saw one.”

Truth be told, out of everything and everyone she had faced alongside her companions, she hated Cazador the most and would have been more than willing to inflict the worst death imaginable on him to keep Astarion safe. Even if death was almost too kind for that bastard after everything he had put her lover through. Almost.

She paused again. “Let's just grab what we found so far and leave.” As tempting as it was to burn the whole place down just out of spite, it would attract too much attention, which they did not need while Gortash was still alive and in control of the city. They had already destroyed his Steel Watch from around the city, so a low profile was in order.

Astarion had different ideas though, mischief already showing on his face. “Now, let's not be hasty, I think there still is something we can do here. Have a little fun, as it were.”

“A little fun” for him could mean anything, from ‘let’s go kill people’ to ‘let's break into all the vaults in the Counting House” (coincidentally, Cazador’s vault was the first one they went to - the bastard was broke before they even had a plan to reach his palace and kill him). Hells, many times it also meant sex.

She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh?”

He waved a hand in the direction of the room itself, walked to the nearest object - an old urn, not too big, not too small - picked it up and pretended to study it for a moment. “Well, you cannot tell me this place is not in dire need of a bit of redecorating.” He then tossed the urn, letting it break on the ground.

Ah. Vandalizing it is then. She started walking around the room, playing along, pretending to look at everything critically. This would be fun. Astarion always had a way of making things fun. In a chaotic way, true, but she loved that about him.

“You do have a point you know. Just look at how everything clashes here, ugh. It won't do at all.” She picked up a large bowl on the side and casually threw it to the ground. She did feel a little better as she did that, a small smile already forming.

“See darling, you always understand my vision for a place. Now let's see, what else…”

***

The room was trashed. Broken bowls, urns and cups littered the floor. Chairs and small cabinets had been flipped over. Lamps were thrown and pushed carelessly. Finally, the bloodied bowl from the altar was thrown against the wall, the banners bearing Bhaal’s symbol ripped, candles had been shoved off and landed onto the floor, alongside all the other objects that were scattered across the surface of the altar.

Syanna was laughing. It felt good to give Bhaal the proverbial middle finger like this. She walked over to Astarion and hugged him, her face nuzzled into his neck, still smiling to herself. She let out a sigh as he returned the embrace, his cheek resting on her head, enjoying the closeness. A few more moments passed until she moved slightly to look up at him, her hand reaching up to his face.

“Thank you for this.”

Astarion nodded, looking at her softly, a smile appearing on his lips, one hand slowly caressing her back, comforting her.

“Anything for you, my sweet.”

Smiling, she stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him, trying to pour her all affection into it.

It was poetic, really, how falling in love with a vampire had made her feel more alive than ever, and she never wanted to lose that.

She broke away, giggling, as she felt Astarion's hands moving lower on her, until they both rested on her ass. He gave a playful squeeze once he heard her giggling, earning him a grin from her before she continued kissing him, slowly, lovingly, becoming more passionate as it continued, stopping briefly only when she needed air, but not moving away from him. She gave him a few quick pecks and finished by playfully nibbling his bottom lip, earning a small laugh from Astarion.

“And here I was thinking I was the only one who enjoyed the occasional nibble.” It was his turn to start trailing small kisses on her face, her mouth, slowly moving lower, until he reached her neck, where he paused and breathed her in before continuing to shower her with affection, adding his own playful nibbles in between kisses.

It was an intimate, familiar and playful exchange between them, but one they both enjoyed greatly.

Her heartbeat, her breathing were already speeding up as he was doing this, giving away her enjoyment. One of her hands had already wandered up, into his curls, and gently scratched his scalp, earning a soft hum from him, while her other rested on his arm. He eventually stopped, straightened himself up, let his hands wander further down onto her thighs and lifted her up. He spun her around and walked over to the altar they had just vandalized, where he lowered her so that she was sitting on it.

He pulled her into another kiss, one hand on her neck, slowly moving up, until he reached her ear, which he ran his fingers over, causing a shiver to run through her. Elf ears were always sensitive and erogenous, hers even more so from the piercings she had. Touching and caressing them was always a sure way to have her melt under his touch, soft hums escaping her lips. He stopped kissing her briefly, allowing her to catch her breath again, and returned his attention to her neck (another area that was delightfully sensitive for her), his other hand wandering lower down her body, tugging at her robe and at the belt around her waist.

“Astarion…” she sighed. “Is this…” she inhaled sharply as he ran his fangs over her skin, careful not to draw any blood. Yet.

He paused for a moment and looked at her in a way that always made her melt.

That look that always promised wicked things they would both enjoy and sometimes also experiment with (he knew it would always be safe to do so with her; that she would respect his boundaries; that she would always check with him to see if he was comfortable with things, while also not treating him as if he was made of glass - he loved her deeply for it)

“Alright?” He finished for her, his voice a whisper. He moved his other hand to her neck, cradling her with both hands and continuing to look her in the eyes.

She nodded, too caught up in simply looking at him, enjoying just being so close to him.

“It is, my dear.” he kissed the corner of her mouth, then looked into her eyes again. “As long as it is for you too.” He did realize she might not want to continue this here, not with how finding that altar made her feel at first. So he gave her the option to back out, to stop there, to return to their room at the Elfsong and continue there, if she wanted to. Just as she was always mindful of his own comfort, he would do the same for her.

She nodded as she looked at him through heavy eyelids, warmth spreading through her. “Please.”

Already pleading for him, how deliciously tempting. He smirked and then swiftly removed her belt, her robe falling open. He moved on to the shirt underneath it, slowly unbuttoning it, his lips close to her face, teasing her with their proximity. Once he reached the final button, he moved to remove both her shirt and robe at the same time, but was met with resistance when he tried to slide them down her arms.

Ah. Those damn bracers she had on.

She had the audacity to giggle at his struggle, a sound that was intoxicating almost, with how sensuous it sounded in the moment.

Frustrated, he stepped back slightly, took one arm into his hands, removed the offensive item as quickly and dexterously as he could and moved on to the other. Satisfied, he returned his attention to her robe and shirt, fully removing them, leaving her only with her bralette on to cover her chest.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, already wanting to feel him closer to her. She closed the distance further by kissing him again. He held her by the waist with one hand, while his other wandered to one of her breasts, cupping it and fondling it gently, slowly, while also tracing her nipple through the fabric. She arched her back into him, breaking the kiss, but feeling too caught up in all the other sensations she was experiencing: warmth slowly turning to heat as he lavished her with his attention, her breath quickening, her heart beating faster, a coil inside her slowly, oh so slowly starting to tighten as he continued touching her.

He eventually moved back from her and lowered himself, removing her boots carefully, rubbing his thumb on each of her ankles as he did so. Then he raised himself, his attention focused on her trousers, unlacing and tugging at them eagerly, wanting to undress her fully. She moved to get off the altar, standing up, helping him as he finished undressing her. Once she was fully bare in front of him, he picked her up again, setting her back on the altar, kissing her soundly once more. It was her turn to start tugging at his clothes, impatient to just feel him against her, his cool skin against her warm one. She finally managed to get him out of his light armor and was unbuttoning the shirt he wore underneath it, growing more eager with each passing moment. Once that was off, she pulled him closer to her and ran a hand down his cheek, his neck, his chest, his stomach, simply enjoying the feel of him. She moved slightly, and began kissing his neck, delighted with the small noises he was starting to make. His own hands held her in place, not wanting her to move too far away from him.

Not that she ever wanted to do that. No, she wanted him close, closer, as close as he could be. Her hand wandered lower, until she felt him hard under her touch, eliciting the most wonderful, breathy moan from him. Nothing loud, nothing performative and rehearsed, just his own, genuine reaction. She looked up at him as she continued her light caresses, his eyes closed and head hanging back slightly. She stopped, only to tug at his trousers, wanting to lower them. Gods, she wanted to feel him, all of him with every fiber of her being. Once freed, her hand returned to him, teasing his tip gently before running a finger along the hardened length, paying particular attention to the vein that traveled along it, earning a groan from Astarion. He then looked at her, lust already apparent on his face and in his eyes.

“You wicked little thing…”

Syanna continued her teasing for a little while longer, enjoying the look on his face and the noises he made while her fingers continued to wander and trace along him. Then she wrapped them around him, a gentle grasp as she slowly moved her hand up and down, still looking up at him through her lashes. He was lost in her already, enjoying each one of her movements, each one of her breaths, each kiss she occasionally placed on his jaw, his lips, wherever she could reach. If it could beat, his heart would be quickening more and more from all the attention she was giving him.

He placed his hand on hers, stilling her movements and moving it next to her, before grabbing her by the hips and pulling her closer to the edge of the altar. Before anything else, he undressed fully and then knelt in front of her, spreading her legs further, fully exposing her to him. He kissed the inside of each of her thighs, so, so close to where she wanted him, but not close enough. A small gasp escaped her lips when she felt his fangs grazing her skin, her leg twitching instinctively. She was looking at him, how smug he looked when his eyes met hers.

“ May I? ” His voice was thick, a sweet whisper against her skin.

And the things his voice did to her when he whispered something to her…

She shivered.

“...yes. Gods, yes, please…”

He kissed the spot on her thigh one more time before he sank his fangs into it. She gasped, this time louder, feeling the familiar, sharp pain, which then faded into numbness, as was always the case when he fed from her. This, alongside the arousal she felt, were an exciting combination, each sensation complimenting the other for as long as he drank from her.

Astarion stopped after a few exquisite, delicious moments, making sure to gather every last drop of blood from the marks he left on her skin. His attention then switched to her core as he mimicked what she had done to him earlier, and ran a finger along her clit, her folds, finally teasing her entrance, feeling how wet she was already. He heard her moan and sigh, and saw how she shifted, chasing his touch, wanting more of it, more of him .

His face moved closer to her, teasing her with unspoken promises of what he had in mind to do to her.

“Hmm, so needy already…” he ran his finger along her again, applying slightly more pressure, lingering on her swell for a moment longer. He teased and rubbed circles around it, drawing soft moans out of her.

Then he stopped.

She couldn't help but whimper, already missing his touch.

“Astarion, plea- ahh…” she shivered as he used his tongue instead, teasing her clit and her folds before slipping it inside her, tasting her, then licking his way back up. He slid a finger inside her, enjoying the feeling of how soaked she was for him already.

He looked up at her, not stopping once, seeing how she arched her back, head thrown back, one of her hands cupping her breast, toying with her nipple.

He slid a second finger in her, listening to how her breath quickened and how her little moans and gasps continued to escape her mouth as he moved his fingers in and out, slowly, then quicker, then rougher. Her other hand found its way to his head, into his curls, slowly scratching again. Heat pooled inside of her more and more as he continued his ministrations, switching to a ‘come hither’ motion with his fingers, deep inside her, making her nearly see stars, while his mouth and tongue continued to place kisses, to lick, to gently suck on her clit, the bundle of nerves highly stimulated, throbbing, which only made her move her hips, wanting to lean more into him, to fuck herself onto his mouth and fingers.

She groaned.

She moaned as she felt herself clenching around him.

She felt as if something in her would snap soon, wanting nothing more than that in the moment.

She wanted the release that only he could bring her.

“Please, please Astarion…” she couldn’t take it much longer. “Mmm…so close” she could barely think anymore, barely focus on anything else other than him and the way he was making her feel.

He carried on, eager to bring her over the edge, until she was finally there, gasping, moaning as her climax washed over her, her body shaking and humming from the pleasure. She watched through heavy lids as Astarion removed his fingers from her and licked them clean, still wanting to taste her more than he already had.

“Hmm, delicious…” he sighed.

She smiled at that, just a hint of deviousness there. “Is that so?”

Astarion, the wicked, smug man that he was, stood up and slipped his fingers inside of her again, wetting them once more, causing another shiver to run through her.

“Would you like to see for yourself?”

Gods, he was obscene sometimes. Still…

She nodded slowly and he brought his fingers up to her lips. She took them into her mouth, slowly sucking and licking them clean, looking at him as she did so.

“And, darling?” he smirked.

Smug bastard.

She got off the altar and pulled him into a kiss, rougher than the ones from before. She started moving them around so that their places were switched. She guided him so that he was leaning against the altar, and knelt in front of him, taking him in her hand again, moving it up and down along his length, so hard already. She then ran her tongue over his tip, tasting the precum that was already there, enjoying it alongside the sounds coming from Astarion.

A groan left him when she took him in her mouth, her head moving as she welcomed him deeper and deeper, sucking and swallowing along his length, enjoying the feel of him in her mouth, thick and hard. Paying more attention to him, one hand was teasing and cupping his balls, while the other was resting on his thigh, only pausing when she needed to catch her breath. Even then, she moved her hand to grasp him again, moving slowly, firmly, bringing him closer to his own undoing with each stroke. Eager for him, she took him in her mouth again, a low moan in her throat when she felt his fingers in her hair, keeping her there, his own moans filling her ears, making her more and more aroused.

A small gasp left her when he pulled her head back, her mouth still open, wetness glistening on her lips. His other hand made its way under her chin, making her look at him. A shiver went through him at the sight of her, so flushed, so willing and ready for him.

“Come here darling.” he whispered, his voice deeper, thicker somehow.

She stood up, her eyes not leaving him as he took her hand in his, moving to lie down on the altar, beckoning her to follow.

She straddled him, but not yet taking him. She held him with one hand, pressed against her lower stomach, stroking him, teasing him, more precum leaking from him. He moved his hips, thrusting himself in between her hand and stomach, trying to urge her to take him in her, wanting to feel himself inside her heat. He placed his hands on her hips, squeezing, another attempt to get his point across.

Her hand left him for a moment as she leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“So impatient…”

He sighed.

“You cheeky little witch…”

She teased his earlobe, before she moved back up, taking him in her hand again and lined herself up with him. She sighed as she lowered herself on him, enjoying the fullness that she felt whenever he was inside her.

She placed her hands on his chest as she started moving her hips, riding him slowly at first, enjoying the feel of him inside her. How he held on to her hips. How his skin felt under her hands. How he looked at her, almost mesmerized by her, by how she moved her body to ride him, by how her breasts moved as she did so and by the sound of her breaths and moans. How he brought one hand up, cupping her breast, his fingers teasing her nipple.

She brought one of her own hands up, placing it on top of his, keeping it in place, her movements growing faster, harsher. She felt Astarion thrusting up into her, skin slapping against skin, wet and lewd sounds becoming louder between them.

She could barely hold on anymore, barely stand straight, barely go another moment without feeling him fully against her own body. She dropped her hands down, one on each side of him, touching his face, his neck, his shoulders and leaned down, pressing herself as close as possible to his body. Astarion's arms immediately wrapped around her, holding her to him as he continued thrusting in her from below with more urgency. She kissed him, sloppily almost, as she continued meeting his movements with her own, feeling her climax building again, ready to snap the more Astarion fucked into her. They were both moaning and gasping the closer they got, with her clenching more and more around him.

Astarion was first, unable to hold on anymore, thrusting harshly as he filled her up with his release, his hold on her tightening. Syanna moaned as he did so, chasing her own release, moving just as harshly, almost erratically, until she cried out his name as she came undone, her wetness gushing around him, mixed with his own cum.

She laid on top of him, still joined to him, her breathing labored, both of them too spent to move. She looked at him after a few moments, finding him with his eyes closed, a small, lazy, but content smile on his lips. The sight of him like that made her smile too. She placed a small kiss on his lips, making him open his eyes. He began stroking her back, making her sigh. She placed a hand on his cheek, looking into his eyes.

“I love you, my heart.”

He smiled at her.

“And I love you, my dear.”

Proverbial middle finger indeed.

#astarion #astarion fanfic #astarion smut #astarion x durge #astarion x the dark urge #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x f!durge

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fourwingedwriter · 18 days ago

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Magical Signs - Part XII

AN: This is janky as hell and I apologize already. Today was NOT my day

First Part - Previous - Master Post

----

Luna's eyes followed Millo throughout breakfast, but she didn't talk much at meals, her hands too occupied to manage it. When caught looking, she would look away and hastily distract herself with her food.

Millo kept his gaze off of her, too nervous about his condition. The last thing he wanted was to trouble his hosts with being unwell once more. He got more anxious when thinking about throwing up or, gods forbid, passing out.

But eventually, she reached over and tapped the table beside his plate to get his attention. When she had it, she signed, "We buy you clothes today? If you want."

Millo knew he couldn't afford clothes. He could barely afford food on a normal day. So he paused for a long moment, doing his best to supress his guilt, then shook his head.

"I can pay?" Luna offered, smiling gently, not fully understanding how hard it must be for him. It took a lot of courage to let others care for you.

Millo nodded weakly, signing, "Yes please. I get ready." He stood quickly, hiding his face as he put away his dish and walking off.

Tears streamed down his cheeks. He furiously wiped them away, cursing himself for being so weak. He shouldn't be this affected by everything. He shouldn't be this weak.

The thrift store was surprisingly nice, not holding the same dingy smell some places held. Millo and Luna decided to split up, allowing both of them some privacy as they picked out items.

Millo found some good pants, always opting for good browns, blacks, and greens. They seemed to compliment him well. He wanted them to be loose, hiding his thin frame within the folds. Everybody assumed each person had a normal physique, allowing Millo to disguise his unhealthy aspects.

The shirts also did him well, supplying a good variety to pick from when it came to basic tees. He found a blank white shirt, good for any of his pants, a black shirt with an interesting space design, and a good long sleeve flannel.

With all of this in hand, he made his way over to the fitting rooms. They were full rooms, which made Millo more relieved than ever. He pulled off his shirt and faced away from the mirrors, paying attention to the clothes instead of himself.

Millo sat down, careful not to waste energy. The shirt fit well enough, better than most did amd had a good feel to it. Standing up to check his reflection, Millo had to pause, vision blurring horribly and body tingling all over.

Luna heard the thud from the line of people wating for a room and immediately walked up to the employee. She tried to sign, knowing it wouldnt get across.

With more desperation, she pulled out the notepad she always kept in her purse. Hastily writing, she showed the staff member, "Can you check if the boy in room 6 is okay? Heard a thud."

They nodded hesitantly, walking over to the room and knocking before listening for movement. Not hearing any, they unlocked the door. Still no sound. They opened the door all the way and gasped at the sight which met them.

----

Taglist: @tildeathiwillwrite @mellowwhumps @crimsons-whump-pile @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whumperofworlds

#writing #snake writing #i need to go to bed #exams tomorrow. wish me luck #magical signs

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prismaticstreams · 2 years ago

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Question: How to communicate about moving slowly in the early stages of dating?

Someone on Reddit posted recently asking this:

Hey everyone,

I've noticed when using dating apps that most people seem to move pretty quickly, at least by my standards. For example, texting at least daily (often multiple times a day) and wanting to go on dates 2-3 times per week. To me, that feels like going from 0 to 100 and it makes me stressed out. It takes me quite a while to warm up to strangers and integrate new people into my life.

I would much rather slow down at the start, and go on a date once every week or two and maybe text a couple of times per week. I'd be happy to ramp that up to daily contact and more frequent dates, but I usually reach that point after 2-3 months or so - around the time when people usually define the relationship and go exclusive.

I'm just wondering, how do I communicate this respectfully to people, without making them feel like I'm playing games, keeping it casual or just not that keen? I'm wondering, is it better to tell people directly that this is my preference, or is that overkill?! I'm FA so I tend to get anxious and overthink everything.

Here is my response:

I very much relate to your predicament about feeling overwhelmed and stressed! I've found Thais Gibson's videos on the Personal Development School about guilt and Fearful-Avoidant attachment super relevant for this issue, so I'd highly recommend checking those out! I've come to realise that I often project my own emotions and over-empathise due to enmeshment trauma.

It’s actually really important to stay centred and grounded in yourself and your own needs. People with a Fearful-Avoidant attachment style often lose touch with their own needs, boundaries and preferences while in the presence of others, so there is a need for more alone time and reflection to regulate.

My current approach is to communicate clearly, and be honest if you don’t have the bandwidth to text, call or meet up as often as they do. It’s wise to give some reassurance that it’s not personal, but you don’t have to reassure the person constantly.

It can be anxiety inducing because we worry that the other person will lose interest or feel rejected, but unfortunately I think that's a risk that we have to embrace. We won't be compatible with everyone and we can't force it.

Not to mention many people actually find a little bit of unpredictability and distance can be exciting and increase desire in relationships - Esther Perel talks a lot about this! For some people, it can actually be a feature (in moderation), rather than a bug. However, in the early stages, people may just move on if they assume the other person is not genuinely interested in them, playing games, dating others, etc. So it’s good to establish some consistency and clarity in the early dating phase.

If you communicate tactfully about needing space and are fairly consistent, I don't think the right person would view it as a major problem or dealbreaker. I know in the past when I was in a more anxiously attached headspace, I didn't mind less frequent communication if it was relatively consistent and predictable - so I knew what to expect.

You could say something along the lines of the following, to put their mind at ease:

"Hey, I generally take things slow when I’m getting to know someone, I’ve found it healthier for me to carve out alone time and friend time too”

"Hey, I don't text that much, but please don't take it as a sign of disinterest because I really am interested in continuing to see you"

That said, if the person seems continually insecure or upset about your boundaries and communication frequency, you may not be compatible. Constantly reassuring someone can be stressful, so if it’s feeling excessively draining, then maybe they aren’t a good fit for you. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person or too needy - it’s just a mismatch of needs.

People with an Anxious-Preoccupied attachment style may struggle with your limits, but it doesn’t make your boundaries or limits wrong or cruel. It’s important to focus on yourself rather than focusing too much on how other people feel, as ultimately it’s not sustainable to be constantly stressing about upsetting or disappointing others.

These are the Personal Development School videos I found most relevant:

How to Ask Your Partner for Space

How To Tell Your Anxious Partner You Need Space

How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Everything

#boundaries #relationships #dating #communication #attachment #attachment style #anxious preoccupied #avoidant attachment #fearful avoidant

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rxlehugger · 2 years ago

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You bought into their lies? It's a shame that you couldn't see you're being used but ships are more important than facts I guess.

You know, I'm going to answer this because I know who this is. And as much as everyone else doesn't want me to answer and ignore, I'm not going to. I'm not going to have you keep doing this to me...

Don't bring me into this drama between you and them. I'm an innocent bystander.

I came back to this community after being gone for 3-4 years because of a situation like this that I got pulled in and nearly killed myself over because I took rp and situations super to heart. No one knows me personally ooc and I have kept it this way BECAUSE of what happened 3-4 years ago.

Ships are not more important than facts and the fact you assume that's how I am means you have 0 clue of what I have stated many times about myself and my muses ooc. You even claimed you had "nothing but nice things" to say about me, so now that has changed because I decided to stick around? Keep my cards close and keep to myself?

Now that has changed because I basically want to rp and write and escape my own life that is busy and chaotic?

Now that has changed because I'm not following what you're doing and calling them out when I have 0 clue of all this and don't know them since I joined the community back in Late December?

This whole "drama" that's going on, is the first time I'm ever hearing about this. You realize that, right? I haven't been around that long to know about this community anymore. It has changed a LOT since I was last here. The fact you're coming to innocent people and doing things like this? Does not help you, does not help me, does not help anyone.

You are, in fact, making me feel like shit because all I want to do is roleplay and ignore the noise. My ooc post yesterday was thanking people for checking on me regardless. They didn't say anything about you or the issues. They were concerned because I was an anxious mess and I NEVER make ooc posts like that, but I couldn't handle everything going on. Even now because this is the first thing I'm seeing, I don't even want to address this but I am because you aren't going to paint my name in a bad light.

I'm not having that. I'm not a shitty person that cares for "ships" as you claim and I'm not a shitty person that manipulates and hurts people's feelings. I've never been that way and never claim to be. I'm for everyone and that's why I interact with everyone regardless of who they are ooc.

If they hurt me? Fine. Then that's on me, isn't it?

If they use me and I get kicked because they wanna do their thing, as you stated in your long post? Then fine. You assume I'm super attached and I'm not. I could get kicked tomorrow or in the next hour and I can just fade off into existence because everyone is replaceable.. and if that happens then I'd be okay with that and move on with my life.

There's lots of options to do shit and I used to have my own groups. I can always make one myself if I really wanted to or go into other fandoms like I had before.

This isn't my "be all, end all" situation.

Also, keep in mind: Ships are secondary to me and telling a story is my main thing. If ships were my main goal, I would be in ships already because that's how it always works. I don't do that so don't ever assume things about me. I have not done that about you. I don't like to assume people I don't know personally, you should do the same.

You don't know me. No one does and that's for a reason.

I get it if you're upset with them and upset over what happened, but DO NOT bring me into this shit.

Just don't.

I keep my cards close for a reason and my reasons alone. What you're doing to me is making me want to leave the community entirely again because you are creating drama that I'm not even part of. So please, please, please, keep me out of it.

Let me live my life without having such an anxious time just logging in and being human and escaping my issues in the real world. You want that for yourself, don't you? So why not give a person that same curtesy?

#outofmuse|| ooc #//and now I'm going off for a few hours #//✌🏾

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faetorvic · 3 months ago

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Temporary semi-hiatus on all my blogs due to my life being a mess!

bg-3 exclusive rp blog for Torvic, originally from D.octor Who but recreated for this universe! Mutuals only, for rpers over 21yo, will only be written as a bg-3 character. loved by Ele (mid-30s, gmt+1)

An important disclaimer: Torvic is an assh*le but I don't expect your muse to submit, and I'll do my best to give them a reason to stay, whether because Torvic can be held back by me or doesn't actually want to push them away, or due to external reasons. Your muse is allowed to hurt her or be mad (just don't kill her!). I'm also an anxious chicken who worries about offending people and fangirls about muses becoming friends or lovers or family. Plus, we can plot/expect relationship development as we go.

That said, Torvic is your typical 'villain muzzled by magic' and has a lot of toxic mentality to unlearn. If you'd rather interact with nicer muses, you can find my 'Lex' (Tav) at my multi @savingthrcw, awkward mess that she is, or my already good bard @lcdybonbon.

Links: about page, memes, starter calls, meme calls, plotting calls, open starters, shipping call

Rules:

this Torvic is for muses from bg3 or with a bg3 verse only (which is why I don't need to list type of characters that make me uncomfortable/triggered/uninterested: deities and vamps of this game are fine, the only thing is that I don't want to write Torvic being attracted against her will so as far as your muse having such powers goes, she's immune). Torvic has her 'alien' canon-ish verse in my multi. Tavs and ocs are very welcomed, but no durges yet because I want to play them first. Don't be offended if I don't follow you, it could be plenty reasons: not cutting your posts, something about your blog triggering me, etc.

Torvic is pan and can act sultry/flirty with nearly everyone, BUT I fade to black unless I tell you otherwise (I'm repulsed) & it doesn't necessarily mean she's into the other person. I love ships but never force or expect romance. That said, I won't ship with Halsin and Jaheira.

If we do write smut it will be tagged 'nsft' and under read more. Torvic will not be submissive (while violence is fine), so don't assume the former if we faded. Due to dysphoria I am unlikely to write f/f smut, and if I'm writing f/m I will keep it kinda vague. If s.ex is a topic of discussion between muses I'll tag it nsft-ish.

If Torvic's flirting bothers you (or anything else!), you can say it ic or ooc and she'll magically stop. Your comfort comes before this game (unless you tell me ooc that you want her to continue). Even though she's starting as a villain, I will write her as wanting consensual s.ex while all other kinds of violence are fun to her.

if you don't see me online for a while and there is no psa, I probably have no drafts and don't want to stress anyone out! (And I'm picky so there aren't usually many mutuals for me)

I will be super happy to have a thousand threads with each person! You can send a BUNCH of memes and continue all (or drop them!), reply to opens etc, no need to plot but I'll also be happy to chat about muses and fangirl over our threads: my health is a mess, but the enthusiasm is there! I'd suggest multiple short-lived threads/asks in which our muses are still in a 'getting to know each other/butting heads' phase before we get to the fun of 'today our relationship gets a bit deeper'!

I'll do my best to tag commonly triggering topics unless they are just mentioned in passing, but here you'll find the usual bg-3 stuff: abuse, cults, everything that happens to the other characters, slavery and in-game blasphemy. I ask you to PLEASE tag your n.sft stuff (and that means your wishlist or headcanon posts, if your rules say you tag it and then I open my dash and it's RIGHT THERE because it's not from a thread, I'll unfollow), d.addy k.ink, and images of real life horror/gore. I will not be roleplaying r.ape but it can be mentioned in backstories (her time as a forced Bhaalist was dark but I won't focus on the s.exual side of it, she'll just mention the 'general torture' her parents put her through, either bitter or justifying it/joking).

hello, I'm Ele, I have pt.sd and physical problems, and I'll stay in my comfort zone when writing, which means vanilla angst. NEVER DEATH of characters and possibly always happy endings. I will NOT judge you for what you write (though I might not follow you because it's not my cup of tea). You do your thing, and I'll do mine! I'm also Italian so my English might be meh at times!

#pinned

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loadreams · 2 years ago

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Everything you need to know about the void state

Hi babes❤️ this is a post about the void state and I hope I can help you to understand it and get into it <3

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕕 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖???

The void state is basically a deep meditative state and it’s all about awareness and pure consciousness.

It is you, it is inside you and it is created by you.

I won’t describe how it feels because everyone has a different experience. The void will be what you assume it will… the main thing is leaving the 3D, that means, losing your body senses and being completely formless

The void is compared to the “I am” state described by Neville Goddard, which is basically what the void is about, “Iamness”. They’re the same!!

As a lot of “coaches” like to complicate it, people find it very hard to enter this state because they don’t know the very first thing about it.

The void is so easy to get into and I hope this post can change your view or misconception about it.

𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕚𝕤 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕕 𝕤𝕠 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪?

Because it’s a very simple and practical way to get your desires instantly!! You can find a bunch of success stories at this account @voidsuccess

The void state is basically your pure God state, where only the 4D exists

But remember it’s just a way in a million methods to help manifesting(even overnight AND instantly). However, if you’d like to try I can help you!!

𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕧𝕠𝕚𝕕 𝕠𝕗𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕝

Ok, so you guys are constantly desperate and anxious about getting into the void. THATS COMPLETELY OK!

I know how it feels! However, now is time to let go of that old story of resistance and impatience (stop assuming you have those)!

Take the void off that pedestal and put yourself into it!! Invest on changing your void concept if it helps you; understand that you are above the void AND your desires! The void is just a state which is already within you! Also,there are no BIG or impossible manifestations.

If you’re doing everything right, living in the end, assuming it’s done then why are you so worried? You are in Barbados already!!!

The most expected question

ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕖?

There is no rule, literally. If it helps,there are a lot of methods, for example: try to relax, find a comfortable position (it DOESNT need to be laying down straight with the belly up). You can do it at anytime, anywhere! Yes, you can do it while having sex or something (there were so many questions about it!!!).

If you feel like it, keep affirming till you make it into the state! Once in the void, affirm/visualize/other normally like you always do. It’s a very common process, no secrets!

Please remember to ignore symptoms!! If your symptoms are different from another blogger, don’t worry, everyone’s experience is different! Also, don’t try desperately to push symptoms, make it natural for you

There are some challenges here that you can set a date to it and spend the days before living in the master void state like this one by @angeltearsxoxo

Also there are subliminals (like @rosellesworkshop and @fleurlx ones, that are making people enter it easily) and guided meditations, like yoga nidra and 61 points. Or literally any other meditation or meditating music (or any music).

You can command your subconscious to take you to the void immediately, lucid dreaming, sleep paralysis, anything you want, the placebo is your mind

Before asking bloggers questions try seeing @sirensplayhouse answers, they have answered thousands of questions about the void and this could be exactly your doubt!

Follow @gorgeouslypink , their blog is basically about the void, everything you need to know, they’ve already talked about! Read this posts if you have any doubt

Whatever you feel like it’s right for you is the way you’ll get into it ❤️❤️

It can be by methods or not, it doesn’t matter

There are so many resources in this platform and others to help you access this state, sorry for not mentioning other bloggers…

𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣?

Yes honey, circumstances don’t matter!!!!

Being in the void is just being pure consciousness!!! What’s hard about it??

I see people saying that they’ve tried many times and couldn’t enter or didn’t “enter completely” (only had symptoms). Remember to persist, you WILL get it and you will wake up to your desired life!!! You can’t give up on manifesting, you’re always doing it!

When you least expect it you’ll be formless and feeling no body senses!! Just like that

If affirming makes you feel more confident about it, then do it! Or anything else, reading success stories, I don’t know, that’s up to you <3

If you always end up falling asleep, you can go sleeping with the intention of waking up in the void or commanding your subconscious to wake you up in the void.

𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖:

❤️ I always enter the void

❤️ Tapping in to the void is so easy to me

❤️ I am void

❤️ I have mastered the void

❤️ I instantly enter the void

❤️ I get into the void effortlessly

❤️ I am a void master

❤️ Sleeping takes me to void

❤️ I always wake up in the void

Or create your own affirmations!

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕖𝕤! ℍ𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥 (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

#loadreamstips #void state #void state affirmations

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cinefairy · 3 years ago

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MANIFESTING REVAMP !

this is gonna be a pt 2 basically of this post if you haven’t already go check it out!!

okay so this post is gonna be strictly on law of assumption and evolving into a better mindset.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - ∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘

LAW OF ASSUMPTION 101

what is law of assumption?

law of assumption is an everyday thing, without even knowing we assume things into our reality (apart from trauma/abuse). now that you have discovered the depth of law of assumption you can now create the life you truly wanna live, i have done it and so many others have. the basics of law of assumption: WHATEVER YOU WANT, ASSUME YOU HAVE IT, PERSIST THAT YOU HAVE IT. that is truly it, and yes it is that simple.

if it’s truly that simple, then why do people use methods?

great question! people use methods to help them align with their desires, for example someone might use subliminals. they believe that using subliminals will help them manifest, but the issue with methods is that they dont work unless YOU BELIEVE THEY WORK! not to mention you can use subliminals for 2 years and get no results and you wanna know why? its because of YOUR MINDSET. if you truly believe that you’re a failure, stupid, ugly. a subliminal can only do so little. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO EVERYTHING.

how to actually apply law of assumption?

its very easy, trust me! i get we struggle from time to time but realise your inner ability to overcome any obstacle. use the law everyday intentionally. how? okay, lets say i want my teacher to not come into school today, i want a cool subsitute instead. i will use any “method” to help me!

• visualising

pretty self explantory; you visualise what you want. people say you have to visualise “clearly” and your visualisation cant be blurry, this is OBVIOUSLY FALSE. your visualisation can be blurry asf. you can get what you want anyhow

• commanding your subconscious

commanding your subconscious..again self explanatory; you say “subconscious..i have (blah blah) or anyway you want to address your subconscious. again, your subconscious is YOU. its personalised to you and knows exactly what you want so please dont ever stress “what if my subconscious thinks this instead..” that cant ever happen..literally.

• affirming

affirming! everyone does it, just affirm that whatever you want is either already here, its coming/on its way. it doesnt matter how you affirm literally, and it doesnt matter what affirmation u use. no you don’t have to repeat affirmations, people just like to. you can say any affirmation you like.

• scripting

scripting is soo fun and if you’re artistic or like to get involved in reading/writing this method is for you. its so freeing and fun, just WRITE! write whatever you want, write how you magically found a £100 note on the floor in your diary. write your life like a story and deeply fall in love and assume that its already here

• my personal method

heres how i manifest (sometimes) so if im feeling worried/anxious or i procrasinate too much about a certain manifestation. i rant either in my head or on my notes phone app. after that i chill for a couple of moments and i turn over a new leaf. i start affirming for what i actually do what and i write in my notes app like it’s actually happened. im in the state of wish fulfilled and i feel satisfied. i mean..it’s already here, why should i worry?

theres so many methods, these are just a few i picked out!

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - ∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘

omg..i overconsumed too much information, im struggling and procrastinating, what do i do?

we’ve all been there! dont worry. heres what to do

• REALISE THAT YOU ARE THE GOD OF YOUR REALITY, AND STEP INTO THE KNOWING THAT YOU ARE GOD.

• SLOW DOWN/LIMIT/UNFOLLOW the people who you follow, instead of following loa blogs/pages follow accounts that are similar to what you’re manifesting.

• SIMPLIFY THE LAW! dont make it worse for you and dont make it confusing for you.

thats all!

“i’ve been affirming for … days/weeks/whatever and its still not here?? what am i doing wrong”

i understand your frustration. i get asks like this all the time and i need you guys to understand that you have the power on how quickly or slowly your manifestation comes to you. when i get asks like this, it gives me the feeling that you guys are in the “waiting period” when there is no “waiting period” there is only this moment right now.

AND STOP PUTTING A HAULT ON YOUR LIFE CUS OF YOUR MANIFESTATION!!! please i cannot stress this enough interact with people, have fun, go to parties, do your homework dont put a stop on life for your manifestation. no, you do not need to affirm 24/7 this is not a JOB live LIFE!!!

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - ∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘

“i want to stop procrastinating, i want to finally have my desires and manifest my dream life”

and i want the same for you too! and its POSSIBLE. honestly. it really is all possible, do not compare yourself to other people and their manifestations, you are YOU. and you will get your manifestation.

SELF CONCEPT

i cant stress enough how important self concept is. its the key to everything ive made a post on it here. but i’ll say it again! with self concept you’re stable. you do not switch up, you’re consistent and more confident with yourself. dont know where to get started? dw. start off with these affs. (both manifesting + confidence affs)

[♡] manifesting has always been so easy for me.

[♡] i never have any doubts or limitations, i am a master manifestor.

[♡] i never struggle with anything nor do i blame and bully myself. i treat myself with kindness and respect

[♡] i love who i am becoming, i love who i am, i love everything about myself

[♡] i manifest everything i want within seconds

[♡] the 3D automatically conforms to my desires

[♡] its so exhausting being so amazing and pretty..and also smart!

[♡] i am flawless in every aspect of my life, literally home life, school life, relationships and more

[♡] life has become more enjoyable for me

[♡] i am living my dream life.. im so happy. i love how everything is rn.

NOW..THATS IT! DON’T EVER LOOK BACK. KEEP ON PERSISTING

trust me, you can do it. you’re so amazing and i cant wait for you to actually see it one day, for you to still be here after you went through hell and back. after you’ve endured such difficult times and you’re still here??? thats amazing. give yourself a pat on the back. you’re a god now, and you can create your entire life. you really can!!! if i can do it, so can you. so now. TELL YOURSELF THIS:

I AM THE CREATOR OF MY REALITY, I CAN CHANGE MY REALITY IN A SPLIT SECOND, IM BECOMING THE PERSON I WANT TO BE AND NOTHING IS STOPPING ME. I AM PERFECT, I AM DIVINE, I AM SPECIAL.

thats it my loves. <333

#law of assumption #manifestation #law of abundance #law of attraction #affirmations #manifesting #self concept #self improvement #dream life #neville goddard

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a-d-nox · 2 years ago

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hi💓 i just wanted to know your thoughts on asteroid Medusa in Capricorn at 29° in the 12H conjunct my ascendant in Aquarius? thank you in advance

medusa (asteroid 149), what’s her sign/degree, where she sits in a chart, and her aspects

lol i feel like jigsaw from the movie saw when i write these long posts: “i want to play a game.” hold on to your hats for this one, guys. ALSO mini apologies for the amount of time you’ve all waited for this post and how may times i say “you” in it HAHA i’m tired - been going for so long… this draft is from JULY TENTH like it just needed to get wrapped up and sent out but moving, my health, and now school has gotten in my way so we are rolling with it.

after receiving an influx of questions regarding everyone's medusa placements (ask alert: @dddssd, @aryahviolet, @imonehundredpercentgodly) i decide to continue with a post similar to my aphrodite signs, degrees, houses, and aspects post.

all of this is in my opinion. some of it you may be like how tf did she come up with this. my answer: intuition and experience with other people’s charts that i have available to me. warning i can be harsh: please don’t take everything i say as predestined, astrology is possible outcomes not guaranteed ones. plus let’s not forget orbs matter, dominance matters, etc. it’s never just medusa. this is just a starting place for when examining a single asteroid in an entire galaxy. take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!

*all of these observations are based on a natal chart - solar return and persona charts will change all these observations because the context is different*

!!! RETROGRADE MAKES ALL OF THESE THINGS LISTED BELOW SUPER STRESSFUL OR SLOW TO APPEAR IN YOUR LIFE !!!

signs/degrees

aries (1°, 13°, 25°): you may notice that people are drawn to you energetically. like medusa, you may have a passion for something and may not recognize that not everyone around you shares the same level of passion but rather they are there to be around you. you are meant to be a leader. there is a high probability that you may be accused of false passion and loyalty due to this. people may accuse you has faking your interests simply to get attention from others or to outshine another. you may have a bit of nervous energy that makes you fear like others are out to get you and you might just be spot on - it may be a medusa and poseidon type of deal: “he’s following me, he wants to hurt me, where do i go?!” sometimes when you take action in moments like this it gets misconstrued as a malicious attempt to spite someone close to you. she wasn't trying to lure poseidon into athena's temple but that is what the goddess assumed. since aries rules the eyes, you like may have piercing eyes just like the asteroid’s namesake. i implore you to read the mars aspects to see what resonates!

taurus (2°, 14°, 26°): you entrance those around you in the same way medusa did. she was beautiful - her hair flowed in the breeze, and everyone around her was simply enchanted. in other words, she stood on stage worshipping athena and was admired for her beauty and devotion. you may find where you devote a lot of time and emotional energy that you are often quickly dismissed and punished after one misstep similar to medusa. you may get overly anxious when things do not go as planned: medusa was out for water when poseidon appeared and everything spiraled out of control. you like may feel insecure as you grow older and change - you may cut yourself off from others. but do remember she is still an iconic figure even after she changes. you could unconsciously put off strangers simply due to sensitivity - the asteroid’s namesake sparked a lot of fear from the masses after her transformation because of misguided displays of emotion. on the plus side, you may have nice hair, a stunning face, and piercing eyes. i implore you to read the venus aspects to see what resonates!

gemini (3°, 15°, 27°): you are likely the prettiest and most adored of the group. medusa was a favorite of her congregation before she was adored by the people. she won the congregation over with her thoughts and ideas of worship then drew people in based on her looks. word may travel quickly about your presence alerting everyone where you are. lucky you are rather attuned to your environment and have the ability to adjust accordingly. you may also project onto others as they project onto you. medusa was scared and upset over her new circumstance, and others were scared of her appearance as well - she reacted to them, and they reacted to her by turning to stone. the same projection and reaction circumstances/interactions may occur in your life. i implore you to read the mercury aspects as well to see what resonates!

cancer (4°, 16°, 28°): your presence is rather alluring: it is calm, cool, and collected though underneath all that you experience medusa's transformed state and her feelings of being inadequate and insecure. you have a motherly quality that makes everyone look up to you hoping to hear your wisdom or supportive words. you may be a bit of a pessimist, planning for the doom in most scenarios - you'd be the version of medusa who felt unsettled getting water feeling that something was wrong. those moments of unsettling emotions don't stop you from pushing through. i implore you to read the moon aspects to see what resonates!

leo (5°, 17°, 29°): you have a way of standing out to those around you - it’s a mystical air - everything about you demands attention! you seem like the person that others would follow anywhere - this famous gorgon had so many people show up at her ceremonies just to watch her on stage. you may not notice the beauty you have because you are fully invested in your role. you are someone who reacts - you like this famed gorgon would never go down without a fight. she ran, she kicked, she screamed, etc. she didn't give up; she did what she could in the moments leading up to her rape. moments like athena disapproving of her and her getting angry then finding her way back to athena, may be familiar to you. you may find that you have something to prove - it is often to someone bigger than those around you and that is yourself. you like medusa may fight for a lifetime to prove to yourself that you are priceless. i implore you to read the sun aspects to see what resonates!

virgo (6°, 18°): medusa was athena's loyal servant and was committed entirely to her worship. you too may experience this type of servitude - blocking out everything that happens around you in order for you to focus on your interests. the asteroid’s namesake was also very knowledgeable regarding worship - so it is likely you have a deep knowledge of the area in which you commit. you may also wish to have a ritual or routine in this area that help you feel more organized. you may feel as though no one knows you that well, similar to how medusa had many admirers but none of them knew her. they simply knew of her and lusted for her. you like to care for things: people, places, objects. this gorgon, even post-transformation, went on to recover the wisdom goddess’s temple. i implore you to read the mercury aspects to see what resonates!

libra (7°, 19°): you are likely a people pleaser, and this, of course, makes you captivating. medusa dedicated the majority of her life to athena and made sure the goddess felt respected and thus pleased. she pleasing the goddess and worshiping her caught everyone's attention. you may find that you too gain a lot of praise and attention when you do things for others or put their needs first. you may have trouble sticking up for yourself - she didn't try to make her case known to athena, she simply accepted the punishment that she didn't deserve. don't grin and bare things, it does nothing good for you. you should work on accepting and gratifying yourself over looking for that from others. medusa wanted peace. i'll tell you what: you too may want peace but there wasn't peace in ancient greece and peace is nowhere in sight even now, so do what is right for you - tell the poseidons in your life "no" and tell the athenas that you "weren't intending harm." do not fear that taking action will only cause more trouble - my grandmother often asks "would you rather that you - the person living your life - be unhappy? or everyone else?" choose your joy first. on the plus side, you may have really nice hair, a stunning face, and piercing eyes. i implore you to read the venus aspects to see what resonates!

scorpio (8°, 20°): you likely shield your emotions and passions from others, preferring to look stoic over emotional. your passions shine through with intense emotion like medusa and her worship. if you are a writer, you may write what you never say, if you are an artist, you may show emotion you never would otherwise, etc. you enjoy being the best at everything you do. you may be divinely connected to the spirit realm. you may feel like fate has guided you somewhere, quite often into the spotlight in both good and bad ways. you may fear the spotlight due to a fear of failure, but i'll let you in on a secret: you will not fail - the asteroid’s namesake was the head of the congregation, and then when she felt like all hope was lost and she died, she was still a symbol of safety and protection. you never have to fear, you always be known/remembered. you may face isolation from society as this gorgon did, but that's just how it is being special and different you don't always fit in. i implore you to read the mars and pluto aspects to see what resonates!

sagittarius (9°, 21°): not to be annie-like but, "there is always tomorrow" - you must keep in mind that one bad day is not a bad lifetime, tomorrow is another day. you decide what happens next. find confidence in the future and surely nothing will go wrong. you likely will attract and meet people from all over just like medusa did. the only way you are not the usual asteroid character’s placement is that you are easily bored. she was a dedicated worshipper of athena, but you need more options to flourish. so make sure you are always experiencing more - you may find that you enjoy worshipping deities from across many other cultures. don't be afraid to explore, if/when you feel irritable. i implore you to read the jupiter aspects to see what resonates!

capricorn (10°, 22°): you share medusa's air of seriousness - she was always too focused on the task at hand rather than noticing the room around her. she was really into the ceremony and didn’t realize she was the only one. you may be most concerned with fulfilling your responsibilities and whether you are achieving goals! this could be an area in which you are insecure - feeling as though you need to be achieving things to be loved. when things become disorganized or they don’t go as planned, you may be prone to doubting your abilities in controlling the situation. part of this may be divine intervention - if athena granted medusa, her most dedicated follower, the ability to recognize others' intentions, she would have been extremely powerful and possibly a goddess on earth. so have no fear if you feel doubt; tell yourself it’s because if you didn’t have those moments, you’d be unstoppable/inhuman. i implore you to read the saturn aspects to see what resonates!

aquarius (11°, 23°): you'd be the medusa that athena had the right to be suspicious over. you don't follow without question - you ask why. and you certainly know what makes a person tick. it is deliberate - in some versions (not the version i believe) medusa willfully slept with poseidon in athena's worship hall. this would be something you'd do - everything you do is with thought and purpose. you may be seen as a godly presence on earth - people trust that you know all the answers, and that's why they follow you. and you love it - you love knowing a lot of different types of people, and nothing feels better to you than helping someone in need. funnily enough, you are likely not a crowd person - it likely makes you rather uncomfortable to have so much attention. you, like the transformed medusa, tend to flee from the eyes of others. it is likely due to a fear of what others think - i feel like asteroid’s namesake thought she was a monster and was afraid of what she had done to those she turned to stone, and that is the true reason she hid. you should realize that "monsters" are just misunderstood, unique people - there lies a healthy balance in believing you are a god or a monster. and that is being a human. try not to get too into your head both in terms of ego and superego. i implore you to read the uranus and saturn aspects to see what resonates!

pisces (12°, 24°): you may be rather clueless as to what is going on in the world around you. medusa didn't feel like everyone was there for her - she thought everyone was simply there for athena. WRONG. you likely misconstrue the intentions and emotions of those around you - not everything is what it seems. you may be prone to thinking the best of everyone, but you should realize that not everyone is the good guy. you may be emotionally in tune with everything around you. i suspect that when medusa's rage was over, she did feel sorry or pain regarding turning people to stone. but you are tough, just like her. in some versions, she repairs an abandoned temple of the wisdom goddess before perseus kills her. she had the strength to move on from hatred and reground herself. doesn't matter how far you fall you will always rise from the ashes - even in death she lived on. your greatest strength is this giving and restorative nature. i implore you to read the neptune and jupiter aspects to see what resonates!

houses

1h: you, like medusa, may have great hair, and, if you don't believe so, it may just be a bit wild and curly. at first glance, you may look a bit like someone locked into society - you do what you are supposed to, when you are supposed to, and how you are supposed to. internally, you may feel like you are doing everything right - you aren't too egotistical, you are devoted, etc. you have a humble personality, and yet you likely get punished for your behavior based on an outsider's perceptions. sadly, the spotlight you stand in may cause others to make assumptions about you and your intentions - nowhere near all are true. but you do your best to live a conscious and mindful life. you may have a lot of dignity about your social status, making you a grateful person. your charisma also attracts a lot of interesting people into your world. you may have really nice hair, a stunning face, and piercing eyes.

2h: you likely have a very devoted work life, and, like medusa, it may not be all about the money - you just want to spread awareness and create a haven for those in need. your routines and rituals may get a lot of admiration from others - you may even influence a lot of other people to use your technique or helpful habit. you may be very routine and ritual oriented - you likely get into a zone where you stop paying attention to everything around you and focus solely on what the task is. your focus usually aligns with your values - if you are working somewhere where your values don't align, you likely will take over until the workplace aligns. you may also live a very simple life, in which you do not overindulge in food, substances, or other monetarily inclined things. you may find that your mood is very stoic until something life-changing occurs - the saying "when it rains it pours" may resonate with you. medusa was viewed as emotionally remote until poseidon happened, then she was constantly emoting.

3h: you have a powerful mind - like medusa you have power that requires very little effort. she had an emotion, and it simply got taken care of. humble? attracted adoration. anger? turned people to stone without a single bat of an eye. to communicate she didn't need words - things were said without actually saying a thing. so you too may be someone who speaks with your eyes and your body. though you may not be the best at picking up on the social cues given around you. you likely are a bit too stuck in your mind to focus on the body language around you. having a busy mind like yours, like I said, causes your thoughts to be read by others in a nonverbal manner. you may participate in some sort of club that takes up a lot of your time - medusa participated in the worship group for athena. so you too may be in a group that is women-only or worship related. you like the asteroid’s namesake may be a walker especially when you are getting stuff done or when you are upset - this gorgon wandered all around greece post-transformation in a blind rage. wandering around may help you to work through your strained thoughts to gain perspective. you may be rather misunderstood in the social realm similar to medusa - everyone thought she was a goody-goody, a monster, manipulative, and other extremes... you may find that your image gets misconstrued most through technology.

4h: you may find that you are nothing like your family in the same way that medusa was not like her family either both in looks and mannerisms. but similar to this mythical character when something negative occurs you may find that people who know your family compare you to a member (most often it will be your mother); "you are just like your father," "you're your mother's daughter alright," etc. you may even find yourself saying things that others in your family have said when upset. you may have grown up feeling like you did not belong - which causes/caused you to leave home when you get/got the chance to. you may find yourself working in an area where you help to house or care for women: you may be a cleaner for postpartum women, a hairdresser for depressed women, a director of safe housing for battered women, etc. any creature comfort zones that involve you entering the space of another woman may be your thing - you may personally have experience in settings like those and wish to give back. you may have the goal of creating security and safety for other women.

5h: you aren’t a romantic - chances are something happened, typically traumatic, in your life that made you believe romance doesn’t exist. on the other hand, you may not be a romantic due to your values system similar to medusa's system of beliefs. you simply have higher priorities. all that being said you may have an odd relationship with motherhood - whether it is your mother or you that caused distance is the big question. you may find that in motherhood there is absence in your life - this gorgon left home, she never wanted children, and when she had them, she died (you may not die but perhaps an abortion or adoption is involved). you’d likely be the gorgon who is aware of her crowd, willing to let people be around you for the wrong or right reason - it matters little to you. no matter what though you have a strong stage presence.

6h: you may find you are rather particular about your routines. you too may have methodical habits in your work life - maybe it is particularly times you check for updates or how you go about responding to emails. similar to medusa, you may work for a group in which you feel there is an important foundation and message present. it is likely very important to you that you feel like you are useful and doing something of meaning - making you someone who often performs acts of service. you love having a duty or task which you must perform for others - it adds to feeling useful. you may be the type of person to go over to another person's home and then find yourself cleaning or cooking for them.

7h: i feel as though, for this asteroid, this house is not about marriage. this house is likely to reflect long-term relationships with those you find like-minded. this could reflect those who medusa worked with in the athenian temple. they were co-workers/partners in sharing the wisdom goddess’s message. speaking of athena - you may find yourself in an unspoken agreement with a powerful entity - you may just sign over your soul and forsake your life before. you may find yourself being concerned for others but not speaking to them one-on-one. lastly, you may have someone in your life you feel hates you. that person you just thought of? yep, you aren’t wrong lol.

8h: let’s get the triggering portion cleared - this is the house of sex and medusa was raped. she was very unlikely to have been sexually active before poseidon because she was a member of a virginal goddess’s temple. so you like this gorgon may have a traumatic first experience with sex or may experience rape. please always be on guard - you like this asteroid’s namesake know when something is off - trust your instincts. in the case of a traumatic experience, please do not keep it to yourself - it’s not okay, and you may be in shock or feel embarrassed that it happened but please know that it is sadly common. the sooner you report it, the more likely that justice can be served. another point of medusa's story that is emphasized is transformation. you like this gorgon may experience a physical change that you find undeserved. you may be angry or scared due to this sudden change - realize that it is okay to feel and express emotions but not to lash out at others. the 8h is also slightly spiritual, so you may find that you are a devoted subject just like this gorgon in terms of a cause or being.

9h: you may travel away from where you were born to start a journey involving higher thinking, wisdom, and/or religion. she was religious before and after her transformation; some may deem that it was the only thing that kept her grounded. you, like medusa, may have a sudden realization that the “foreign” environment you are in no longer feels safe in because of bad press. she got a lot of hate for the change that was forced on her, but no one stopped to wonder if she was okay - no one questioned, is she scared? angry? while people thought she lashed out because she was a monster, no one thought she was a person before the transformation (or rather they disassociated the two versions of this character from one another - priestess and gorgon) and likely didn’t mean to target anyone in particular. no matter what happens to you, remember that you are human, and not everything is deserved - that applies to taking angry/fear out on those who don’t deserve it.

10h: you may have long-term goals to spread awareness in a similar way to medusa - whether it be religious or in terms of victims of assault. your reputation is likely to revolve around what you preach and share with the world. your presence is a hard one to forget, so ensure you use it wisely. this placement may have issues with men - whether it is masculinity, a father, or men, in general, is up for grabs. also you may have strife with your higher-up because this house rules over bosses - they don’t have to be a masculine because athena and medusa had a strained relationship post-transformation. you may find yourself being punished by a higher-up for something someone else did - this causes damage to both your reputation and profession. you may find yourself back at square one but have no fear - you have the ambition to rise from the ashes.

11h: you may find that you don’t have a lot of close friends, rather you have a lot of people who you share space and common interests with. medusa lived in the temple of athena with fellow worshippers - they all had mutual respect but not much is written about friendship or “sisterhood” so one could assume it was mostly respect and common ideals that bonded them and not much else. you like this mythical character may be involved in some kind of community service program. this program could be to bring awareness to a cause (could be about religion or sexual abuse). you could get a lot of attention online for being pretty but also a lot of hate that comes seemingly out of nowhere or seems to come when you are at your lowest point.

12h: you may have a rather memorable death. medusa's head was lobbed off by perseus and then used as a talisman to ward off evil. not long after, poseidon’s children crawled out of her served neck. it’s a bit much, yes? whelp, think of it this way: even after death, she gets her redemption and is viewed as iconic. so you may get that similar spiel - sleep easy knowing that you’ll be remembered by all. you may find that when others cry it’s like rain, but for you, it’s like you pour. medusa was living a pretty great, stoic life until suddenly everything went sideways. she was anything but stoic then - she created stoic statues, yes, but she had so much repressed emotional energy plus hatred and fear over what was happening to her… she just popped - you too may have those moments when the world just goes dark and you rampage, sulk, or whatever you need to do to let it ALL out. you may find you isolate yourself from others in tumultuous times. after all, you like medusa may not realize you worship your greatest hidden enemy… on the opposite end and a brighter note, you may symbolize safety for others - you may find yourself housing/helping people who experience injustices. you likely don’t realize that your greatest strength is your empathy for others. you have such a deep, understanding personality that others can’t help but feel safe at last in your arms.

aspects from medusa to

sun: you may feel safest in a leadership role, around your father/a masculine figures, and/or expressing yourself, but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you may resonate with medusa’s origin story - you too may come from a family whom you aren’t very similar in looks or share values with. you may not be very egotistical and prefer a modest approach though you receive a lot of attention and admiration. you may be the unspoken ruler/leader of your circle of people. you may be a publicly known figure. negative aspects: you could resonate with medusa’s fall from grace with athena - you too may understand what it is like to be punished for something you didn’t do. you could be determined to prove others wrong about you but end up proving much of the same - she wanted to prove she didn't do anything wrong yet froze a lot of people with her gaze. not to mention her determination still ended up getting her killed - athena still planned to have perseus kill medusa through she was restoring a temple for athena. on the plus side, you likely have piercing eyes just like the famed gorgon herself.

moon: you may feel safest in your family, at the ocean, with your mother/feminine figures, at home, and/or in the middle of nowhere (farmland), but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you may find security in a feminine group like medusa did at the temple of athena. you may have grown up going to the sea often or living near a body of water like this mythical character. you could be(come) a public figure adored by those who watch you in a self-nurturing environment. you likely are quick to adapt to the situations at hand. negative aspects: you may be a very stoic person who doesn’t show a lot of emotion until suddenly the world around you shifts a millimeter too much. you like medusa may explode emotionally when life takes a turn for the worse - some may even say you freeze people with your anger and sadness. you *might* experience a rape in which you find yourself with a child. you may find home doesn’t really feel like home to you. you likely quickly reaction to situations where you are in danger but may find the place you feel safest and most protected is actually not.

mercury: you may feel safest in educational settings, libraries, gossiping around those you know, and/or traveling, but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you may be a very stabilizing person in terms of reason. medusa used her logic to escape poseidon on the beach and she logistically explained to others how they could better worship athena. you may have a world that pays close attention to your hand gestures and graceful actions. your change of fate and lifestyle may await you across the water - the asteroid’s namesake just had to hop on a boat to get to the athenian temple. negative aspects: you may not be mentally aware of what goes on around you - medusa had no clue the athenian worshipers were worshipping her. you may not speak up for yourself all that often - she didn’t even try to explain what happened with poseidon to athena. thus, your perspective may be rather unpopular or otherwise ignored by those around you. there is likely nasty gossip surrounding your intentions - athena thought medusa was distracting people intentionally and that she lured poseidon into the temple to have sex with him as well.

venus: you may feel safest when surrounded by your possessions, with feminines, at social events, and/or in romance, but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you could have a very muted style used to hide your sexuality, yet still attract a lot of attention. you may have a very specific set of values. you likely surround yourself with a lot of feminine power - uniting for a common goal: to preach and/or protect! you may be viewed as incredibly charming and graceful. negative aspects: your beauty may attract a bad kind of attention that cause you a lot of fear, anxiety, and/or trauma. a feminine figure in your life may betray you in the worse way possible. you may feel at some point in your life that your looks have completely changed and that you are ugly. remember that medusa wasn’t ugly - her look became an icon of protection. you may be rather introverted and find yourself doing very little socializing.

mars: you may feel safest surrounded by masculine energy, at social events, in romance, competitive environments (ex: simone biles has a medusa bi-quintile mars), independent atmospheres, and/or in leadership roles, but these situations may case you danger. positive aspects: you may have a lot of sex appeal without even trying. you likely have a hyper-specific passion that drives your world. something may be modeled after you that is rather permanent - medusa's face is often featured on shields. another very odd example is currency; even those who are famous with minor aspects between this asteroid and mars have been featured on coins! you may be a leader and not know it. negative aspects: you will likely find yourself being aggressively pursued by masculine figures during your lifetime. you may be prone to committing acts of violence when you find life unfair. you may find that people do not respect your sexuality or preferences - you may find yourself in a situation of rape similar to medusa. you may struggle with asserting yourself to those around you or those you hold in high regard due to a fear of rejection.

jupiter: you may feel safest when you feel like you have received a lot of luck recently, in religious settings, around your husband, at university, when traveling, and/or when indulging in life, but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you may receive a fresh start or opportunity in the environment that you’ve always dreamed about (could be aboard or for schooling). you may feel complete or like you are understood when in a religious institution because everyone shares similar values. you may be extremely successful and popular when you change your location. negative aspects: you may have trouble expanding your perception of what occurs around you. religion may be very important to you, until you feel betrayed by your god(s) - my only reminder here: we are here, they are there - too much of a “good thing” becomes a bad thing. you may put too much stock into religion being able to save or help you with certain situations. after this, you may find every ounce of optimism disappear from you - you may have a dark period similar to medusa’s in which you hurt many people around you purposely or unknowingly. all because you feel as if you faced your judgment early and you lost.

saturn: you may feel safest in your old age, when thinking about your past, when alone, when conserving something you feel is important (ex: virginity for medusa), and/or around your father but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you may like a lot of boundaries in your life. your birthing experience may feel rather easy or be a cesarean section. you may find yourself in a poverty-stricken area reviving old things to be new once more. you likely enjoy a lot of routines and have a lot of habits. you may be conserving your virginity just like this famous gorgon. negative aspects: you may feel as though karma tends to hit you the hardest in life. you may feel feared throughout life, which leads to your confinement or isolation from others. you may become more like your past than you had wished - the family member(s) you always thought you were so different from may now seem rather familiar. you may face a chronic change in your appearance/health. you may be prone to depression - especially in situations where you feel betrayed by those around you. you may also be prone to losing your self-control when upset. you feel you do not receive the justice you seek.

uranus: you may feel safest when rebelling or activist pledging, alone, practicing the occult, and/or when your curiosity is peaked, but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you may receive a lot of independence and freedom in your lifetime. you may have attributions of a devotee attached to the occult - this could appear unconventional to the outsider. negative aspects: you may experience a physical change that takes a toll on your social life and mental health. you may be estranged from your family due to differences in values/opinions. you may experience a lot of unexpected life changes just when you start feeling comfortable. your appearance may paralyze others.

neptune: you may feel safest when daydreaming, drinking or indulging in substances, in your safe space, when disguised, and/or surrounded by religion, but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you may have daydreamed a lot about your ideal life when you were younger, only to find yourself living that life later in life. you might provide asylum for those who faced similar circumstances to yours. you could be seen as glamorous by onlookers. you are likely very religiously devoted. negative aspects: you may be deceived easily by those you respect or those you initially view as harmless. you may find that you nearly escape most terrible things that happen to you but "nearly" isn’t an escape. your asylum may not be as safe as you first perceive it to be. you may attract a lot of obsessive people - definitely not in a good way.

pluto: you may feel safest when working late and/or motivating others, but these situations may cause you danger. positive aspects: you promote sexuality without trying. after your death, you may be revived in other people's memory in a more positive light. you likely aren’t as power-hungry as people assume you to be - you do what you do just because you love it. negative aspects: you may have sexual trauma and attract obsessive people. you could find yourself eliminating and acting rather ruthlessly towards people when you get extremely upset.

chiron: positive aspects: you may be the expert or the most knowledgeable person in the area of life that your medusa sits (ex: 9h could be religion just like the asteroid’s namesake). you are likely a genuine person whom doesn’t do things because they want power, rather because they care. negative aspects: you may carry a lot of trauma - could be related to childhood isolation, religion, or sexuality. you likely are focused to deal with your faults and other people's. you may be viewed as different in a very harsh way that causes ostracizing and exile.

asc: positive aspects: you may be beautiful to others though you do very little at first glance - viewed more so as an ornament. you may forget in moments of solitude, your physical changes and feel more like yourself again. your temperament could promote ease and stoicism. negative aspects: you could be despised for your looks and find yourself punished/ostracized by the one who despises them the most - others may fear/avoid you after this. others may find your temperament to be belligerent - you may take your emotions out on the undeserving. be sure to read the house in which your medusa aspects from!

mc: positive aspects: you may be seen as someone to look up to in terms of your values. you likely will attract a lot of the public’s attention. negative aspects: you may be seen as the person who betrayed someone in a higher position of power. you may cause people in a public setting to step back or flee from your presence.

algol: positive aspects: you may feel as though someone you don’t know shows you a sign of mercy from the universe. a stranger may help you become to show your abilities to provide safety or showcase your positive attributes after showing others that you are dangerous and/or possess a lot of negative qualities. negative aspects: you face off with someone you don’t know who comes into your environment with intentions to harm you though you were doing nothing wrong in the moment. you may find yourself acting in self-defense and siding back into a negative version of yourself.

athene (881) / pallas (2): positive aspects: you may find yourself feeling at home in a feminine’s space. you may show that you wish to repay them for all that they have given you - this act of service may make you feel whole. you may find yourself working for a feminine icon. negative aspects: a feminine may be jealous or even paranoid over your presents around them. you may find yourself going to a feminine when you need help and them betraying you.

ceto (65489): positive aspects: you may be a strong feminine figure similar to your mother. your relationship with your mother may have been tense due to differing beliefs though your mother respected you and let you explore your thoughts and ideas. negative aspects: you may not have wanted to become like your mother, but it happened/happens. you may have viewed your mother as monstrous or cold only to become very similar to her.

poseidon (4341 / h47): positive aspects: you likely attract powerful men - tempting them to double-cross people whom they already have an iffy relationship with. you could easily attract someone without trying. negative aspects: you may attract people who like to use people - this could indicate sexual assault or manipulation. you may find yourself being punished for the wrongdoings of this person.

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stay-xen · 2 years ago

Text

Project: Eden's Garden

since i've seen several people post their opinions regarding the new danganronpa fangame's cast, why not join in since i finished the prologue?

spoilers for the prologue and predictions up ahead!

Damon Maitsu First of all, making the protagonist the ultimate debater is a really clever idea to make him lead the trials. also he's such a dick. i love him. he reminds me of early chapters byakuya and i want him to realise that he needs to trust the others to stay alive. very interesting approach for a protagonist imo

Eva Tsunaka My girl, i already love her. i feel like she'll make a grat 'rival' character, especially with her talent and animal motif. although wolfie might be the rival? not sure about it yet. i do believe that she will be alive for a while, maybe even sacrificing herself for the group in the end

Desmond Hall I trust him with my life. He has a SHARK motif, of course i'm going to trust him. he seems like such a good boy so i assume that he will become a victim sooner or later. if he ends up being a blackened i WILL cry

Eloise Taulner I am going to protect her with everything i have. very shy and anxious, i assume she will find strength eventually and become more confident, possible after losing somebody close to her? swan motif is very sweet for her :c

Toshiko Kayura My daughter is definitely compensating for being young, trying to be more mature than she is. i adore her getting flustered when called out, i hope that she will survive. she's a baby so pleaaase

Wenona step on me. i don't trust her, at all. she seems like a mirror for Damon, so my current guess is that she might become a blackened (or victim, either way i think it might involve cassidy)

Ulysses Wilhelm My useless son, i love him. he's so smart yet so dumb. please stay safe. current guess is first victim, sadly. idk he hasn't really done much yet :C

Mark Berskii I ADORE HIM i love his design and his attitude. "call the fire brigade, Grace" hasn't left my mind yet. such a simple line, yet i love him. strong connection to Jet already, i assume Mark will be a survivor that gets drive after Jet dies?

Diana Venicia Oh i wish i could trust you, love. something about her talent having to do with make up (covering up/identies, etc) and the chameleon motiv really makes me worry about her. i don't think she's the mastermind, but i believe she might be a blackened. maybe first chapter even?

Wolfang Akire i do not trust you but i will forgive you everything you do. this man has me in a chokehold and i'm not complaining. there's something about him being a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' i KNOW it and i can't wait to see it. his extreme sense of justice in the mock class trial was very interesting to see and i assume it will only be more extreme in actual trials. potential rival, i fear he will not survive. maybe a blackened, having to go against his principals for a certain motive? he's so polite though, especially to Eloise :c

Kai Monteago My fail son, my wet paper back, my beautiful butterfly. i saw him and fell in love, i can't wait to see more of this idiot. although i hope for character development, my current feeling is that he is going to die :c yet at the same time i can see him be a survivor (like hiro, souda being the clueless one, although i know they're not following the usual scheme)

Jett Dawson I've had this wolf for like 4 hours but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone in this academy and then myself. SO precious, SO dumb, i can't wait to see him get closer to Mark and ultimately get my heart broken. Current guess: victim

Ingrid Grimwall awooga. strong woman yes. on a serious note, i like that she's rather feminine and still strong, but i haven't seen enough of her yet to form a proper opinion :c could see it go either way with her tbh

Grace Madison soybean. i adore her, she doesn't have a single braincell and is currently trying to steal Wolfgang's. a real one for trying to fight back AND being able to actually get the jump on Tozu. No high hopes for survival though ngl :c

Jean Delamer If he ends up being a blackened, i'll be sad. he seems like such a nice guy, very safe, very brrr. also a whole ass dragon motif??? how cool is that??? he really feels like a safe space for the group, both mentally and physically so i hope we get to see a lot of him!

Cassidy Amber The only valid rich person. LOVE the spiderweb clothes. wouldn't be surprised if she kills Wenona or dies trying lmao. not the smartest tool in the shed but i love gaming references so i'm more than happy. it IS a stepladder.

Tozu Why is he hot. he's not supposed to be hot i hate it here (/s). didn't expect him to look like this but i am more than happy with the design. please show me more of him

Mara WHO ARE YOU i wanna see you more and talk to her and aaaaa she's mysterious OwO

#project: eden's garden #p:eg #danganronpa fangame #just xen things #i don't wanna tag all the characters #project: eden's garden spoilers #project: eden's garden prologue #but yeah i can feel the brainrot forming in my brain #thinking about who will survive who won't etc etc #it's gonna be a pain to wait for future updates gaaaaaah

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rayofsunas · 4 years ago

Text

s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

A/n: hello everyone! I hope your day is going alright, and that you’re doing well 🥰 I recently hit 300+ folllwers, like Sunday morning, and omg, that was the best thing to wake up too 🥺❤️ thank you those new and old for following and taking a chance with my account and sometimes trashy works 🙃 I’m gonna make a longer post at some point saying my thanks and discuss what I plan to do to celebrate 300 followers. It would really mean a lot to me if you guys chimed in if you have any ideas, after all, this is a thanks to you and I want you all to be involved! also, if you saw my recent rambles about how a draft was deleted, it’s referring to this post... what I had written got deleted TWICE in the span of FIVE MINUTES. gosh I was so pissed, I almost screamed. mobile tumblr is not it 😔 but here we are. I hope you like this. I tried to write this three times.... 🤡 also, since I am not a doctor or anything, I put a link to possible symptoms/what a “mental breakdown” is, that’s in the warnings, just click the link, it helped with my accuracy.

Summary: s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

Parings: Xiao/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Childe/Reader (all fem reader)

Warnings: angst, mental breakdown (panic attacks, stress, anxiety, ptsd, hallucinations, insomnia) fluff, swearing, mentions of death, mentions of injury

Word count: 3.5k (whew after tumblr DELETING this draft twice here we are folks ;-;)

requested by @mintyhuening

Xiao

he knew you weren’t okay at all

Xiao knew the moment you locked yourself in your house

at first he thought maybe you were just temporarily feeling this way, but as the weeks passed and you hadn’t come out, he decided maybe not

coming from someone who enjoyed silence and solitude he could understand the distancing part, but it had been weeks, and even he needed socialization, so why hadn’t you come out?

you spoke to him through the door a few times, letting him know you were alright

he didn’t believe that though, sure you were alive, but not alright, he was mainly checking for confirmation to see if you were still alive while he thought of a good way to approach the situation

he didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he also hated the fact that you wouldn’t come out, not even to see him

it was lonely without you, he concluded

even for someone who enjoy solitude

you were a careful creature, but never this careful and cautious...

were humans always like this?

eventually, he couldn’t stand it, and did find other ways to get into your house

he grew antsy after pacing outside your door for days

he found you huddled in your bed, a heap of pillows and blankets surrounding you

you were shocked to see him when he’d sat down on the foot of the bed, causing it to dip significantly

“How did you get in?” You snapped once you saw who it was.

“I have my ways.” He said raspily. With a huff of annoyance, you were back to facing the wall, away from the Adepti.

“It’s dark in here.” He announced matter a factly, looking around the nearly pitch-black room, windows and doors covered by sheets and hefty duty curtains. “It’s how I like it.”

“It’s not healthy.”

“I don’t care, go away.”

Xiao was starting to grow impatient surprisingly, he truly just wanted to help, why couldn't you see that?

“Being passive is not going to help the situation, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

He worried. If he said the wrong, would you push him away even further? If he said the right thing, would you even care? Did you want help?

Xiao moved closer to you, hand going to touch your leg, although it was underneath the blankets, you felt it and did have to admit the affection was comforting.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Xiao said. “Your friends miss you, I miss you as well.”

Maybe if you weren’t cooped up here anymore, you would start to come around. The room and house all together were very stuffy, dark, and depressing, he despised it.

“It’s beautiful outside, come with me,” he'd whispered. “At least if you don’t want to be around people, could you allow me to take you to a secluded area?”

“The fresh air will do you good.”

You were thinking about it, you had to of been if you still cared.

“Fine, mother.” He watched with hope in his eyes as you slowly rose from the bed, and began

The outside world was very very bright at first, enough to induce a headache. But you became used to it the more you were out.

Xiao stayed true to his word like you knew he would unless you wouldn’t have come. You were taken to a very secluded area, there wasn’t even a path or road to it, just green luscious grass, and crystal core everywhere, beautiful blue and orange ones; Anemo and Geo respectively. You weren’t sure where you were, somewhere between Mondstadt and Liyue, you assumed.

The fresh air did wonders, Xiao had noticed. You seemed to open up. Telling him a little of the problem. You had told him about how life was just stressful right now, you hadn’t taken any commissions in weeks, spoken to any of your friends Mondstadt, hence why they had come to him, accusing him of kidnapping and brainwashing you. He was offended, nonetheless let them know that wasn’t the case.

The ever so secluded Xiao would take you out more, slowly introducing you to crowds of people, and would still take you on daily walks to that secret place you now called your special spot.

It would take a while, he knew that, and you wouldn’t be comfortable doing everything that others around you did, maybe not for a while. He could respect that, as long as you allowed him to help and encourage you.

Scaramouche

being a harbinger was HARD, Scaramouche knew that, even if he didn’t admit it

admitting it was challenging, could lead to always being doubted or seen as incompetent. therefore, no one mentions how hard it is

he had been off doing his duties when he got news that you had lashed out at a few lower rank fatui on your team, resulting in you being called in to meet with The Tsaritsa... let's just say she went easy on you because you were one of her highest ranking soldiers, if not, she would've severely punished you

you were forced back to your sleeping quarters immediately to calm down, told to stay put until you could stop “lashing out like a child” as she had put it

you weren’t one to argue against The Tsaritsa, everyone knew that was common rule... so you walked back as calmly as you could without snapping at anyone else

when Scaramouche had heard how you acted, he was annoyed

the always so calm and calculated Y/n, lashing out at her fellow members? he couldn’t help but be annoyed, despite it being completely out of character of you

he had finished his duties relatively quick, wondering why you were acting so out of character

when he got back, he found you in your sleeping quarters, pacing in front of the large windows near the furthest end of your room

you were still wearing your typical combat gear, though your hair disheveled and body language looking extremely anxious, he hoped it was not yours...

“What did you do this time?” Had asked the violet-eyed man, carelessly throwing his hat on your bed, lean arms folding across his chest.

No response.

“Excuse me, I believe I asked you a question.”

A loud irritable huff.

“Be quiet for once in your life, Scaramouche.” You hissed, anxiously biting at your nails. “Sorry- I’m just trying to calm down, but my heart can’t stop racing.”

Scaramouche wasn’t the most in-touch person with his feelings, and out of all the harbingers, he was one of the more difficult ones to deal with.

Surprisingly, he had shut up, despite finding it difficult to hold his malicious comment back.

“What’s wrong?” Your lover asked, more softly this time.

“My mission today was... hard. I know you said it’s important for missions to just be a one and done; no hard feelings. And you know I’ve always been that way. But this one was different.” His eyebrows furrowed, his forehead creasing in annoyance.

“I can’t help but think about what they did.”

“Did you get what you went for? I heard you sought after information regarding that Knight, Aether.”

“Yes, but-”

“I’d call that a successful mission,” He stared intensely, casually moving to sit on the comfort of your bed. Of course, he wouldn’t take this seriously. “Any casualties?”

“None of our men, but-”

“I don’t see the problem.”

“There were children, three little children, and those idiots just slaughtered them.”

“Ah... I see.”

Despite stating he understood, he really couldn’t sympathize with what you were saying. Those children were enemies as long as they worked against The Tsaritsa.

Your voice suddenly cut through the silence, staring directly into his eyes, “What if those were our children?”

“They weren’t.” Your eyes rolled at his comment.

“But what if!” He rolled his eyes, mocking your previous action.

“But they weren’t.” He mocked for a second time.

“You’re not helping, Scaramouche!”

“You’ll never understand, unless you see what I saw,” He knew you were right to some degree, but even then would he feel bad? A mission was a mission after all.

“They were begging me to protect them, and the youngest, she would not let go of my arm and then the next thing I knew, they were dead.” You continued, left hand going to grip your right, he assumed to show him where and how the said girl had gripped you. You were still shaking, this time being closer, he noticed how bad it was.

“They were pleading, I told them I would try my best, and then-” He had long ago stood, making himself present in front of you. His warm hands had grabbed your shaking ones harshly, ceasing the trembling momentarily.

“Please, be quiet,” The sixth harbinger snipped. “I don’t like seeing you upset.” Although it sounded harsh, he was trying his best to make it sound how he felt, even if those feelings were minuscule towards this specific topic.

“Although, I don’t agree with you about this particular concern of yours- I will do whatever you need to help you.”

Albedo

now, he may just be an alchemist, but trust me, Albedo sees the signs before anyone, he has some sort of familiarity with them due to his incessant reading

and it may have taken him longer to see the signs because of how busy he was, but he saw them

he was no fool to the likes of insomnia, in fact he knew it very well, often staying up very late into the night and morning, sometimes for days at a time

he was cooped up in his lab and it wasn’t as if his body wasn’t tired, cause hell he was, there was just s much more to learn and discover, his brain WOULD not stop,

Albedo hadn’t known how long this had been going on for, but he was seeing signs now

ngl, he didn’t notice that you hadn’t been sleeping properly until one night he decided to accompany you in bed earlier than usual (It was three a.m, yikes), and found that you were awake still

you were lying still on your side of the bed, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that he reached over to kiss your cheek, only to see your eyes open, he would’ve assumed you were alright and asleep

“You’re awake?” The ashy-blonde man asked, sliding into bed next to you.

“Can’t sleep.” You shrugged nonchalantly, scooting closer to him, seeking his warmth and comfort.

“You should’ve come to get me, I would’ve come to bed earlier with you.”

“It’s alright, I peeked in to see if you were still alive,” You joked, he chuckled. “You seemed very busy.”

“Yes, but, I thought I told you to remind me when you need attention, I often get sidetracked and enamored with my work.”

“It’s quite alright, Albedo. As long as you’re sleeping.”

He hummed, whispering tired words of adoration in your ear. That carried on for a while, as long as talking about the day's work and whatnot, until you eventually questioned, “Can I play with your hair?” The gesture was sweet, and that did sound amazing right about now since he was on the brink of sleep, but just needed that little push. But weren’t you tired?

“Aren’t you tired?”

You sat up, climbing behind Albedo, gently placing his head in your lap. “I’ll go after you.” A soft smile adorned your beautiful face. “You need sleep, you stay up for Archon knows how long.”

He selfishly allowed his eyes to close and waited for sleep to accompany him while you began untangling his two braids and ponytail. You played with and braided his hair until he’d fallen asleep as you said. You stayed up the rest of the morning though.

Eventually, probably out of boredom, you fell asleep for an hour or two around five a.m. Though, unfortunately, you were back up before six. You busied yourself while Albedo slept, starting with cleaning his lab. Albedo often did not like people touching his books, paperwork, and findings, but after instructing you how to properly take care of his stuff, he welcomed your help with open arms, seeing as though his lab was ALWAYS in shambles from not having enough time to take care of things himself.

Albedo surprisingly woke up around nine, wavy hair surrounding him like a lion, you chuckled to yourself at the sight. “How did you sleep?”

“Alright, considering my sleep schedule is nonexistent a lot of the time.” You nodded, bumping shoulders teasingly. “How about you?”

“Okay,” You said, immediately changing the subject. “I woke up early, so I cleaned your lab, I hope it’s to your likings, Kreideprinz.” You teased, bowing at the waist.

The alchemist waved you off, with a smile. “We’ll see about your organizational skills after you eat.”

How had he known?

“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” Albedo asked, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

“That obvious.” You wondered trailing after him.

“You always wait for me, darling.”

“You look exhausted.” Albedo’s concerned voice cut in through the smooth Mondstadt breeze. You had been so distracted with the discovery in front of you, you hadn’t realized your boyfriend was staring directly at you. “When was the last time you slept?” He glanced back down at the discovery, still listening, but if you didn’t speak soon he’d be lost in his world again.

“A day or two, but-” Albedo probably got whiplash from how hard he’d snapped his head to face you, but now he was staring at you with features reading nothing but shock, cerulean eyes blown wide.

“I think your bad sleeping schedule is contagious.” You joked, trying to make the situation lighter-hearted. He didn’t laugh.

Albedo was more serious this time, proving it when he faced you completely. “What’s been going on?” His voice was soft, but he was extremely worried.

Nervousness built up in his lover's body. “Nothing! I just-” You sighed. Might as well tell him the truth, he’d coerce the answer from you no matter what it took. “It’s been harder to sleep after my injury from that ruin guard. When it hit me, I banged my head against the concrete, and ever since I guess it’s been hard to sleep.”

“You could've told me sooner. I would have stopped everything and anything for you.” Yes, that was true, that was the problem though. You didn’t want to be coddled like a baby

“I know, I’m not sure why I didn’t... Naturally, I don’t want to worry you.”

He moved closer to you so he could cradle your face in his hands. “You can always tell me anything you know that.”

“I understand that. You’re a busy man so-”

“From this moment on, my work will be dedicated to finding a cure for you.”

You panicked, not wanting to stop his work for the likes of what you were dealing with. “What? Wait no-”

“You can’t stop me, darling. You take precedence over everything.”

Albedo made it his goal to do whatever possible to help you. Whether it be spending days in his lab making concoctions in hopes of creating something that could safely aid you with sleep. Or he’s in the libraries, reading all the books on the wellness and health of humans. He’s already on top of it the minute you expressed your concerns. In the meantime, he’s going to make sure he goes to bed with you much earlier, and won’t go until you do, to ensure you’re resting.

We love sweet caretaker Albedo.

(I understand insomnia can have other causes, not just a mental or nervous breakdown, but it’s kind of implied when reader hurt her head that she’s not well.)

Childe

Childe is simply not going to know your not well, he just won’t, it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s more so the fact that he has a hard time paying attention to anything other than his missions and duties, he does not want to slow down

you have to show signs or tell him to realize

he decided to take a break though, seeing as he did promise you dinner tonight. he told you it would be his treat, since he did have a bunch of Mora lying around that he simply had no other use for

he figured a nice dinner and trip to one of the nicer cities with more to offer would be nice, he would buy you anything you desired

it was nearing the time for dinner though, and the reservations had already been made, so when he was left waiting, let's just say he was irked...

if you didn’t want to show up, you would’ve told him, so maybe you forgot? he concluded that couldn’t be it

the last time he’d brought it up, two days ago, you had been so excited you couldn’t sit still nor stop talking about it

asking a few people around town if you had been spotted anywhere, some said you had wandered off to Luhua Pool, something about there being a myth about special healing properties within the water

now he was even more confused

one, you NEVER went to Luhua Pool, there was never a need to do so

two, special healing properties? why would you need that? were you hurt in his absence?

you were his family, and he loved his family more than anything, so if something was wrong, he’d do whatever it took to help you

he traveled from Snezhnaya to Luhua Pool in record speed

he did find you eventually, the sun was setting, but thanks to the glowing water he could make your form out easily

you were hunched over, in what looked like to be some simple greenish cloth dress, he couldn’t see what you were doing, and called out your name

no answer

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” The orange-haired teen asked, crouching down beside his lover to see what was wrong.

“Cleaning.” You had said. That’s when his dull blue eyes traveled to what you were doing, watching with a confused stare as you scrubbed at what seemed to be clean hands.

“Hmm, I see...” He couldn’t tell if this was a prank or not, you usually played along with his teasing nature. “Are you ready for dinner?”

“Was that really today?” Your head lifted, leaving your hands to momentarily hanging in the air, water droplets dripping off into the pool.

Okay... so you did forget it seemed, which did shock him seeing as though you were over the moon, less than seventy-two hours ago.

“Uh, yeah, did you really forget? That’s unlike you! I’ve learned women don’t forget anything.” He teased, hand going to his chin. You hummed, turning back to do whatever it was you had been previously.

The harbinger frowned. “Do you still want to go? We can make it if we’re fast.” You sounded like a robot, much like a ruin guard, he concluded.

“I’m sorry, not today, I’m dirty...”

Childe couldn’t help but chuckle, “Dirty? Sweetheart, you’re cleaner than most people I’ve seen, what’re you on about-”

“The blood, it’s stained my hands, can’t you see?” Even after holding your hands to show him, he saw nothing resembling blood.

“Are you playing games with me? Sure, it would’ve been funny any other day, not today though-”

“You don’t believe me?” You sounded hurt, but whatever was going on, he wouldn’t feed into these... false hallucinations. “The townspeople said the same thing, they called me crazy...” You scrubbed even harder at your hands, letting out a frustrated huff.

“I don’t see anything, I’m really sorry,” He said gently, reaching into the water to grasp your warm hands in his, “But if you continue to do that...I will see the blood.”

Childe was not sure what was going on, maybe some sort of PTSD? Although, he wasn’t sure where it could’ve come from... you’re not a harbinger or fatui, or anyone that is engaged in battle, etc. so it didn’t make sense. Unless something happened that decided to resurface now.

He immediately took you home, hand in his to keep you from further scratching your hands. On the journey, you often asked, “Why are you even touching me? There’s a lot of blood.”

He didn’t want to have to feed into whatever was going on, worried he’d damage you somehow, and he didn’t want to make you sound crazy, so instead he said, “Because I love you.”

When you both arrived home, he’d immediately laid you in bed, saying you appeared tired before going to search for a doctor.

Child will see every and all doctors in Teyvat and will pay whatever amount necessary to figure out what’s wrong, that’s for sure. Doesn’t take orders from the harbingers (not like he was anyways) and opts to stay close to you at all times.

He decided to keep his teasing to a minimum, though he found that sometimes things slipped out accidentally, he’d do anything in his power to help you.

1.18.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #childe #childe x reader #tartagalia #xiao #xiao x reader

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