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random-mha-thoughts · 5 years ago

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Culture Clash (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Anon asked: "OH MY GOODNESS I FREAKING LOVE YOUR WRITING.💜🧡❤️💚 I have a request!! Would it be possible if you did a scenario with Bakugou x Female Reader where the Reader is a transfer student and comes from a country where is normal to kiss people in the cheek to say hello and kisses Bakugou but then she is told of the culture difference in Japan, then she is embarrassed but Bakugou is even more. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!"

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1,565

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: Thanks for the request anon dear! I hope I did it justice and it makes you feel good inside. 😊

Very quick and breezy Bakugou fluff. Honestly, my Bakugou list seems to be catching up to Todoroki (meanwhile poor Shinsou’s list is abysmal T.T But my next post will be an angst post for him, which is still a win), you guys just really love requesting for Boom Boom Boy, don’t you?

As I said on my last ask, after the Shinsou post, I’ll take a break before answering the next 2 requests I got, because I have a few of my own original ideas that I’d like to write, so look forward to them~

"You must be nervous to start school so far away from home," Yaoyorozu touches my hand gently. "I do hope you find yourself at home here at our school and here in Japan."

"Oh, it shouldn't be a problem at all!" I beam at her. "I'd say I'm a friendly person, I can talk to people easily."

Transferring schools in the middle of high school is daunting for most people, but I have no problem with it. One of the admins from UA were attending a conference in my country and put a recommendation for me to transfer schools at the start of the second year. Yaoyorozu, as second in charge in class, was assigned to be my buddy to ease me into the rest of the class. We've been talking since I was overseas and I was overjoyed to meet her in person.

"Are you nervous about staying in the dorms?" she asks me.

"Not at all! I've always wanted to try going to school and staying away from home. Do you guys get along well together?"

"We all have our own friend groups, but we spent time with each other as a class a fair amount of time as well." She eyes my suitcase rolling behind me. "Did you already receive your uniform?"

"Yup, they sent it over! The rest of my stuff for the year should be coming in another shipment from my parents."

Finally, the dorm building I will call home for the next two years looms in front of me and I can't keep the dumb smile off my face. While Yaoyorozu's talking about my sleeping arrangements, a boy swagger towards us from the opposite direction wearing just a black tank top and dark joggers. My eyes glance over his toned physique before studying his face, a slight scowl even at rest, crimson eyes staring at the ground in thought.

"Oh, (Y/n)-san," Yaoyorozu calls him out of his thoughts. "This is Bakugou-san, one of our classmates."

The boy looks down at me and I smile, leaning up to place a kiss on both of his cheeks instinctively. "Pleasure to meet you, Bakugou!"

His resting bitch face freezes and he stiffens. "Y-Yeah, same. See you in class." With that, he walks off quicker than his former pace.

I cock an eyebrow. "He seems like a tough guy, but quite strange. Is he nice?" I turn back to face Yaoyorozu.

Her face has turned a rosy tint of pink. "I-I wouldn't say that. He's a bit rough at the edges, but he's gotten a lot better since last year, I admit."

She seems a little uncomfortable, did I do something? I roll my luggage up the stairs. "I can't wait to meet the rest of the class!" The door opens with a flourish, and I meet the eyes of about half the class. Some of the girls were reading magazines on the couch and the boys were playing cards or games at the table.

The blond boy with a black streak in his hair and a small, purple haired boy immediately stand up. "Who're you?" they boy ask a little too eagarly.

I wave at the group, excitement bubbling in me at the site of my new classmates. "Hi everyone! I'm (Full Name), the transfer student! Please take care of me!"

"Oh, yes, we heard you were arriving today," another boy walks up to me, adjusting his glasses and extending his hand to me rigidly. "Welcome to Class 2-A!"

I shake his hand, leaning forward to greet him, "Nice to meet-"

"Um, (Y/n)-san," Yaoyorozu's hand pulls my shoulder slightly. "I hope I'm not rude in asking, but is there a particular reason you do that?"

She still a bit perturbed since we met Bakugou outside. "Do what?" I don't think she means to be impolite, but I'm still confused.

The girl hesitates as if she can't bring herself to say it. "Kiss people on the cheek. Is it a custom of some sort?"

My body relaxes. I thought there was something terribly wrong. "Oh, that's how we greet people in my country. It's something I appreciate about my culture, it shows how friendly we are!"

"Yes, I see that." She rubs her hands up her arms. "It might seem to be a problem here though, I'm sorry to say."

I blink. "I did it when I greeted you and there was no problem though?" The fog of perplexity returns to me. I know there are rules in other countries different to my own, but surely I haven't done something unforgivable?

"Yes, but," her eyes dart around and her face flushes more, "It's not exactly custom for members of the opposite sex to interact with each other like that even if they're friends, let alone if you've just met them. That's more reserved for um...public displays of affection."

It suddenly dawns on me the weight of what I've just done, especially to Bakugou. "Oh. I...see."

"Your face is all red now, (Y/n)-chan, ribbit," one of the girls with long, dark green hair chirps from the couch.

The bright blond haired boy's eyebrows furrow in concentration. "Hey, you guys didn't happen to run into Bakugou, did you?"

"We did," Yaoyorozu answers while I'm frozen in place, heat still blooming across my cheeks.

The two boys and another one with short, black hair and large elbows burst into uncontrollable laughter. "We were wondering why his face was so red when he got back from practice! You must've kissed him, right?"

Oh no, I did. The panic continues spreading up my body.

"She totally did!" the black-haired boy guffaws and the other two follow suit.

"Bakugou was that flustered by a little cheek kiss!"

"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS LAUGHING AT?!"

The first exposure to his screaming makes me jolt before I feel a debilitating mix of embarrassment and guilt, I don't even have the courage to look him in the eyes. "Hey, you wanna lead me to my room? I'll go unpack and settle in," I reach for Yaoyorozu, trying to compose myself back to normal.

"Of course, let's go up this way."

I'm grateful for her judgement of avoiding the chaos about to ensue. The laughter from the boys and the teasing coupled with Bakugou's defensive screams still follow us while we're in the elevator. What have I done.

On the first day of classes the next day, I try to avoid Bakugou as much as possible. I know his angry, violent type well. He dislikes me for embarrassing him in front of his friends and giving them fodder to make fun of him for. If he decides to confront me, I know I'll crumble into a mess of apologies.

Which is exactly what happens when we both happen to see each other in the halls during lunch. There's no avoiding him as we were the only two people there; I turn around and suddenly he's there, staring down at me with those piercing eyes. I don't have it in me to fake my bubbly small talk and slip my way out, I have to own up to it.

"I'm sorry I made you embarrassed like that, it wasn't my intention, it was all out of instinct. Please forgive me, don't be mad!" The words fly out of my mouth and I scrunch my eyes shut for fear of what he might say next, steeling myself for his angry yells.

They never come, instead there's just an exhale in the form of a thoughtful "Hm." I slowly wrench open my eyes, only to see him quirking an eyebrow down at me curiously.

"You don't need to be sorry about it, it's fine." Evaluating my still-cautious figure, he leans back a little to relax. "Yeah, I was taken off guard by the kiss, I admit, but my friends are also idiots, I can easily just bust them up a bit and they'll leave me alone."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "I see." The last thing I want is to be that cliched transfer student who gets bullied and becomes the outsider.

Bakugou swipes his tongue over his lip quickly. "That was...pretty ballsy of you to do, actually. I think it's cute. It's a shame our cultures clash like that."

I'm taken off guard by his sudden change in aura, the cockiness that twitches the corner of his lip up compliments his rugged, boyish charm, especially with his unbuttoned and untucked uniform. His eyes glance over me teasingly before he walks past me. "Y-Yeah, it's a shame," I finally conjure up words to say, even if they're a lame response.

His body turns back halfway. "In a way, I'm glad I was the only guy who you got to do it to," he smirks at me.

That kind of sign is interpreted the same way regardless of the culture, so I decide to return it, gathering up the same energy. "I wouldn't mind doing it again, just for you since you're okay with it."

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea," he chuckles low before facing forward and leaving. "See you in class."

I watch his receding back, leaning against the wall behind me to steady myself as the excitement grows weightlessly within me. The smile on my face refuses to be brought down. I guess there are some things that are just universal.

#Bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #request #female reader #bakugou scenario #bakugou imagine #mha bakugou #bnha bakugou #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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quokkacore · 4 years ago

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LIBERALITY: starshine [oh sehun] (m)

part II of all your gods are fake

summary: sehun gives you what he can, but it’s never easy. you have to work for it as well, but effort pays off, and he rewards you so kindly.

pairing: freedomfighter!sehun x reader

genre: smut, angst, fluff, light horror towards the end?

warnings: language, descriptions of war, descriptions of cults, mentions of violence, shibari, thigh riding, handjobs, reader has nipple piercings, sensory deprivation (blindfolds and ties), seizures, knives

song rec: rosalia & ozuna - yo x ti, tu x mi ♡ taemin - never forever

word count: 4.3k

a/n: this was originally posted to my old writing blog on may 9th, 2020. if you would like to be on the taglist, pls send me an ask or a message! <3

masterlist

He was getting agitated. You could tell this much.

It was already bad enough that the meeting so far had lasted for over an hour and a half, but now the tension of the situation was finally settling in, as everyone realized that it was finally here.

The last stronghold. Or so they believed. Or so he believed.

The meeting was only for the highest ranking officials of the resistance, people who The Brotherhood knew they could trust—the plan was far too important to risk it falling into the hands of The Sect of Seven at the hands of double agents.

The plan that, if executed correctly, could turn the tides and cause the downfall of the Sect.

You watched, leaning against the wall as Junmyeon, leader of The Brotherhood and face of the resistance towered over the war table, talking about possible strategies to take the last major neutral city and also take control of the country.

The Sect of Seven had existed for years before the war began—its existence spanned across centuries, millenia, even; dating back to the year The Prophecy of Brothers Alike was first proclaimed in the late twelfth century, and remained strong even almost a whole century after The Great Collapse of 2050, when global society had collapsed due to war, famine and climate disasters.

Then the war broke out, some ten years ago, when the first two brothers of the Fated Fourteen first made themselves known, springing the Sect’s violent plans into action.

Since then, the resistance had been built up by The Brotherhood’s efforts, both capturing strategic cities and territories across North America. The Sect was based in the desert, with the Sanctuary based in what was once Los Angeles, their control spanning across what was western Mexico, the american south, and half of the northwest.

The resistance was based higher north, in the Citadel, which used to be Chicago, territories consisting of parts of southern Canada, the rockies, the northern midwest and what remained of the Peninsula of Yucatan. Places like Greenland, the southern east coast and northern canadian territories had either been destroyed during the collapse or had since been reclaimed by extreme climate and nature.

The only major territory that remained uncaptured by either sides, the place where many had fled to avoid getting caught in the crossfire, was the northern west coast, and that was controlled by Washington DC.

The very spot the resistance was now planning to take.

Your eyes floated up towards Sehun, who was standing right next to Junmyeon, who was now listening to Chanyeol and Baekhyun discuss the logistics of a peaceful invasion.

“Overall, I think we still need time to form a solid strategy,” Baekhyun said, “Jongdae needs to get in contact with The Agate Sisters for some more weapons—”

“Which is not very easy, might I add—” Jongdae interjected.

“And even before that…” Junmyeon’s voice was loud, taking command of the situation, “Sehun.”

All eyes in the room fell to the youngest member of The Brotherhood.

Oh Sehun. The Oracle.

Sehun had become known to the world two years after Suho and Junmyeon were proclaimed the first two brothers of the prophecy, the same time as his twin brother. Being so young, his ability of both interpreting and creating prophecies was a sight to behold, both terrifying and morbidly fascinating.

You’d known him since he and his brother were children, before the three of you realized what the future held in store—pain and suffering for Sehun and you, and nothing but pleasure and debauchery for Sehün.

“Do you think you could consult with the spirits for a minor prophecy? Or any other interpretations of the prophecy?”

Sehun shifted in his stance, leaning back and forth. “I need time.” His voice was firm and gravelly as he crossed his arms, immersed in thought. “My most recent auguries have revealed to me that DC is the last stronghold that the prophecy is talking about. But I can’t be a hundred percent sure. Prophecies love to play mind games. We all know that.”

“Is there anything we have to be wary of when it comes to the prophecy? Double entendres, stuff like that?” Yixing asked, even though everyone in the room had heard the god-forsaken prophecy more than enough times throughout the past few years.

Sehun sighed, but closed his eyes and nodded anyway. A dramatic tension settled over the room, and Sehun began to speak.

“Cometh a day when seven sets of twins, be opposite ends of both virtue and sin—why am I going over this again, we all know this,” He huffed.

“Please just continue,” Baekhyun mumbled.

“Ugh, fine. Bearing eyes of blue and eyes of brown, cometh to tear the last stronghold down—” Sehun rolled his eyes, frustration evident in his expression. “The term stronghold has always been somewhat questionable. The prophecy was first declared in 1176, right? Early Modern English wouldn’t become a thing for another three hundred years, so most of this stems from Middle English. Some interpret stronghold as fort, or base, or holy land…”

Jongdae raised his hand before speaking, eyes flashing in alarm as he interrupted Sehun’s tangent. “Wait, wait, if others have translated it as holy land, then—”

“The Sanctuary.”

Junmyeon’s voice was quiet, but still commanded a heavy presence across the room, as a profound silence spread across the space.

“That means that the final battle could be in Los Angeles, on their turf. That would put us at a major disadvantage. We’re already at a major disadvantage.” The leader’s eyebrows were furrowed, using both hands to lean on the table as he made the connection.

The dread that followed was thick and suffocating, and you took the opportunity to speak up, wishing to rid the room of the anxiety gathering.

“But think about the implications of fighting the final battle in The Sanctuary. It would have to mean that we’ve managed to push them back sufficiently to the point where we feel confident invading their home base. Which we wouldn’t do unless we knew that we had a high possibility of winning.”

All eyes fell to you, and you crossed your arms, before meeting Sehun’s gaze. The look in his eyes was something akin to gratitude, being able to lift the sudden darkness. You lifted your hand to gesture back at Sehun. “Continue.”

He nodded, gaze stern. “Perhaps lovers lost to a most wicked brother, bringeth vengeance and hellfire upon one another… Loss could mean one of two things. Betrayal or death. But the rest of those two lines imply that the side that does the taking will suffer because of what they’ve done. That means that for now, none of us lay hands on any of the Sanctuary Queens, and those of us who have them, keep our partners close… Beware ye who heed this, for I warn thee now: suffer shall those who carelessly bow.”

“It has to be them,” A girl, Sasha, declared, “They’ve been lying to their followers for years—”

“That could mean anything. You know that.” Sehun’s voice was rough, eyes trained on the map that had been carved into the table.

A silence hung over the room, tension palpable as everyone remembered what the stakes were. These were lives and people’s free wills on the line, indescribable anguish promised by a prophecy written centuries ago to people who didn’t truly know their leaders. The end was near, but the outcome was nowhere near foreseeable.

“I’ll… I’ll try and do some more smoke readings.” It struck you how tired he sounded, watching as he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, “Maybe I’ll ask the spirit of the Oracle for a specific prophecy on DC. For now, we just have to be cautious. Watch for any suspicious activity here in the citadel and listen to intelligence reports. Jongin, you’ve got your moles at the Sanctuary, right?”

Jongin nodded, gaze dark. “Yeah. I’m meeting with Ren in two weeks. She’s the best of the best. I’ll see what she has for us.”

Junmyeon straightened his posture, everyone quieting when he opened his mouth to speak.

“I think that’s enough worrying about that for today,” He declared, sounding grim, “Before we go, you all know that not a single word is to leave this room. This is highly classified information. Meeting adjourned.”

You watched everyone file out of the room, hoping to speak to Sehun, yet somehow didn’t catch when he left. You got the feeling that that was what he intended.

So you left too, resolving to see him that night.

—

Sehun’s room was easy to find, seeing as how it was right across the hall from yours, in the large apartment building the heads of the resistance had settled into. You knocked on his door, sighing when you didn’t hear any response. You tried one more time, then another time, finally a third time, before letting your head fall frustratedly against the wood of the door.

“Hun, I know you’re in there… please let me in.”

You heard muffled sounds of shuffling from behind the door, pulling your head away to lean it against the doorframe. Waiting, you strained your ears for a noise, hearing the occasional sound.

Eventually, you heard the telltale sound of heavy footsteps being dragged across the floor. You pursed your lips, waiting for the door to open, wondering what you would see when it did.

The door swung open slowly, and you were met with a tall figure, hunched over as he peered down at you. The exhaustion in his gaze was palpable, and you felt your heart clench in sympathy.

Sehun was 25 now. He was made known to the public some nine years ago, and on top of it all, he was the Oracle. Interpretations of any and all prophecies were up to him, a sixteen year old boy who had just discovered he was destined to spend the rest of his life fighting against his own brother, something that tore his family apart.

He was a child.

And now, here he stood, looking too worn, too hopeless for someone so young. His eyes had seen horrors he was much too young to see. Life had eaten away at the glow he’d had when you were both younger. The dark circles underneath his eyes were so pronounced, you’d think he hadn’t slept since he was a baby. His short, dark hair was greasy. You wondered if he’d been taking care of himself properly.

“Do you need anything?” His voice was raspy, quiet. You looked at him, brown eyes met yours. Your heart clenched. Here he was, mentally exhausted, and the first thing he said to you wasn’t a hello, but rather, asking quietly if you needed anything.

“Can I come inside?” You asked sheepishly, and he blinked for a second, before nodding, opening the door more for you to pass. “Go ahead.”

You stepped past him, into the hallway of his small apartment. The smell of incense invaded your nose, and you frowned. He closed the door, and crossed his arms. “What’s going on, Y/N?”

“Are you okay? You looked so tired today, you look tired now.”

“I’m fine—"

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

You refused to let him keep it all to himself. “Sehun…”

He leaned against the wall, head bowed, and you mirrored his stance, standing against the wall as well, but you didn’t look away. “Y/N, I can’t deal with that right now. People need me.”

“Sehun, you can’t force yourself like this, you’ve told me that yourself—"

“I have to make this work. I can’t fail like last time, not if DC is what we think it is.”

You sighed, taking a step forward, resting a hand on his arm. He glanced at it briefly, then raised his head to look at you. You said nothing, but guided him to sit down on the couch, and you sat next to him.

“Sehun,” You said, voice quiet, “DC is nothing but puppets right now pretending they’re actually doing anything. We have our puppets, the sect have theirs. You can’t be sure that a place like that is what determines whether we’re doomed or not. You said it yourself, there are so many possibilities that DC isn’t the place we’re thinking about.”

He took a few deep breaths, nodding to your words before rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger. He looked strained, and you moved to sit closer to him.

“Everything is so fucked up,” Sehun whispered, and you nodded in agreement. “I feel like everything is out of control. Like I can’t do anything about it. Meanwhile, Sehün—"

“Sehün has people who think he’s a god obeying his every whim, just like the rest of those—those idiots.“ Your voice was quiet, but firm, refusing to allow him to compare himself to his brother, "The only reason they look so polished and seem to have everything under control is they only leave the Sanctuary when they absolutely need to, to save face. They feel like they’re above everyone else.”

You took Sehun’s hand, carefully removing his worn, black glove before cradling it in your smaller hand, as if it were incredibly fragile. His eyes met yours, and you gave him a sad smile.

“The Brotherhood, on the other hand… You only use that title for formality’s sake. Yes, you’re all the leaders, but you see yourselves as equal to the rest of us. All of you are out there with us, on the front lines. You’re tired because you give everything you have to serve this cause, my love. You feel that everything is out of control because… well, it is. Lady Fate is a tricky one, we all know that. But you feel it even more because you’re dealing with it head on, not from some sparkly throne on a golden pedestal.”

Sehun’s eyes glittered with several emotions you couldn’t pinpoint, but you could see fondness in them. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Starshine,” He mumbled into your hair, before resting his chin on the crown of your head, “Where would I be without you.”

You hummed, before allowing your eyes to flutter shut, and the two of you sat in silence for what seemed like hours. You reflected back to when you and Sehun both realized your feelings for one another, after a devastating battle in Salt Lake City where Sehun had given his brother the now infamous scar running down the left side of his face, some six years ago. He’d come so close to dying that day, and you’d realized just how important he was to you.

You’d been joined by the hip since you were children, and when the revelation came that he and Sehün were the brothers of liberality and greed respectively, you didn’t hesitate in taking his side, vowing to follow him until the bitter end.

It all made sense to you when you came to Sehun’s sickbed, seeing him resting and bloodied, that you’d actually been in love with the boy for a long time, perhaps ever since you’d first met him. You wouldn’t ever be able to live without him, and apparently, he felt the same way.

In this moral crisis, you were his anchor, his tether to the corporeal plane when his world was on an ethereal one.

Upon all the doubts that everyone had, as to whether the Fated Fourteen were truly gods or if they were simply men with delusions of grandeur chosen by Lady Fate for her cruel entertainment, he felt that you were what reminded him that he was human, that past gods were never truly capable of love or real emotion.

To be capable of loving you was a humbling experience, one that he treasured dearly, especially in moments like this.

“Do you remember what we did the last time you felt like you had no control?” Your voice was a whisper, full of promise and anticipation, as the hand that wasn’t holding his own came to ghost over his thigh. Sehun’s breath hitched, recalling the experience. Roughness against soft, supple skin, restraint and control, you giving yourself entirely to him before he gave himself entirely to you.

“What exactly are you proposing?” He murmured, and you exhaled as one would when they found something amusing, the ghost of a laugh. “You know what I’m proposing, Sehun. Don’t act as if I haven’t seen you teaching Chanyeol to tie his knots when he’s getting ready to go out on a field mission.”

His hand tugged yours towards him, and you moved as he sat back, resting his back against the couch as he helped you straddle his waist. You faced him, realizing with a giggle that he’d turned slightly pink at your accusation.

“Do me a favor,” He said, and you nodded, letting your free hand rest on his shoulder. “Never talk about Chanyeol when you’re trying to get me into bed again. You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on… Chanyeol, however, is the most unsexy person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

Your head tipped back with laughter, and he joined in with you. Your heart, upon hearing this, skipped a beat. You had a hard time recalling when the last he’d laughed was. “I think Sasha would disagree.”

“Yeah, but Sasha isn’t here now, is she? It’s just you and me.” He leaned forward, trapping your waist with his hands and letting his face come close to yours. You watched his eyes flutter down to watch your lips, inches away from yours. You gulped when his lips parted, his tongue peeking out to lick the pink skin.

“So you want me to tie you up. Take control.”

Your hands wrapped around his neck, and you smiled. “Only if you want to tie me up. I want you to have at least one thing you feel you can control.”

Sehun licked his lips again, sighing in amusement as he considered the idea. “Y’know, a few weeks ago, some of the field officers came in with a bunch of fabric they managed to smuggle out of LA…” His tone was quiet, and his hands began trailing downwards, pulling you against him, voice filling you with anticipation. Comfortable fabric was so difficult to come by these days, given that the Sect had taken what were once lavish city districts.

You gasped slightly when your core came into contact with his lap, feeling he was already starting to get hard, and felt your face heat up.

“I might’ve bought a silk tie or two off of ‘em,” He told you, eyes burning holes into your skin, “Wanted to see what my starshine would look like in pink.”

Your felt your hands tighten of their own volition against the fabric of his black t-shirt, your mind conjuring the mental image. “Fuck, Sehun. W-where’s the jute?”

He flashed a lopsided grin, and you felt the need to smack the smug look off of his face. How he could go from being so serious to this, was beyond you. You personally didn’t believe that The Brotherhood and The Lords of the Sect were gods, but Sehun’s duality, in situations like this, seemed to be supernatural at times, if you dared say so yourself.

He pressed his lips to yours briefly, before lightly nudging you to get off of his lap. “I’ll go get it, baby. Give me a second.”

He stood, catching his breath briefly, before walking down the hall, towards his closet. The hallway was slightly darker, and you stood, striding over to him as he pulled out the rope. He turned to face you, and he quickly cornered you against the wall.

“Shirt off. Bra, too.”

You grinned. “What are you gonna do this time?”

You could vaguely make out his features, but you knew his face was probably twisted up in smug satisfaction. Regardless, you obeyed silently, your chest rising and falling quickly with anticipation.

“Chest harness, for now,” He quipped, “Is that okay?”

You nodded, not breaking eye contact with him as you undressed yourself. You wanted him to realize that you weren’t backing down.

He seemed to read you perfectly, nodding in response to your answer as he watched you pull off the dark fabric, before reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. Even in the dim light of the corridor, you could see how his eyebrows raised and the way his lips parted slightly, lazy gaze falling down to your breasts. You knew what he was gawking at.

The studs embedded in your nipples were a dark stainless steel, glittering, alluring. You’d gotten them on a whim at nineteen from some clandestine tattoo artist on the way back from a field operation. He’d always had a bit of a fascination with them, the way they seemed to twinkle at him underneath the light.

"You gonna stare at me all night or will I have to tie myself up?”

Your playful jab snapped him out of his reverie, and he straightened his posture a few seconds later. “Go stand in front of the bed.” His voice was soft, but still commanding.

You stalked into the dark bedroom, standing in front of where you made the bed out to be. He followed you, before standing behind you. “Are you going to tie my hands up, too?"

"Not yet, starshine,” He declared quietly, into your left ear. You could tell he was untangling the jute, and you pursed your lips in anticipation. “You want to know what I’m about to do to you?”

“You know I do,” You whispered, a confession just for him, before lifting your arms and your hair for him to work.

“Too bad,” He sighed, ”Because I’m not telling you.”

You huffed, but didnt protest.

His arms began to wrap the rope below your ribcage, tightening the jute to the point where you could feel it digging into your skin, but enough to complicate your breathing. Taut, but not torturous. You closed your eyes, sighing quietly as he looped the jute higher up this time, just between your breasts and your collarbones, wrapping back to where he began, in the middle of your back.

The sensation of the rough fibers against your skin was by no means comfortable. It was scratchy and some stray fibers tickled at your chest. But its presence against your skin, the implications of its position and what was to come, was most definitely comforting. Intimacy with Sehun now was rare, you rarely even slept next to each other. But you knew that it wasn’t because of a strain in your relationship.

Sehun had always needed peace of mind and silence when it came to auguries and prophecy readings. Now, with the war coming so close to what seemed to be the end, he needed it more than ever, and the moments you shared with him came to a pause. You didn’t complain—the cause came before your emotions, now and always. But inside you were crying out for him; in concern, in longing, in yearning.

So maybe that’s why when he paused his ministrations and chuckled, tracing a finger down his spine, you whimpered quietly, thighs rubbing together in anticipation. “You have goosebumps,” He said, lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“It’s been a while,” You answered, and he hummed in response, pressing a soft kiss to your nape. You sighed at the sensation.

“Drop your arms, and turn around to look at me,” Sehun whispered a few seconds later, and with some help from him to maneuver through the rope he was still trying to tie around you, you were able to complete his request.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous.” His voice was throaty, eyes scanning your body as you did the same, eyes landing on the growing bulge in his pants.

“Sehun, please just hurry.”

He shook his head, crooked smile still gracing his face. His hands worked quickly, looping the jute underneath the lowest rope, between your breasts.

“It’s not too tight, is it?” He asked, and you shook your head.

“It’s fine. Not too tight, not too loose.”

He nodded, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. “Okay. Let me know if it becomes too much at any point.”

“I know, Hun.”

Sehun’s dark eyes lifted their gaze from where his hands were working to meet your own, not saying anything. By now, the smile had faded, replaced by a stern look of concentration.

Be still, my heart, you thought, he is so beautiful.

“What?” You whispered, and he blinked.

His response was soft, gentle. “I would fucking die for you.”

You felt your face grow warm, and you lowered your gaze. “Sehun,” You murmured, “I—”

“Sh, sh,” He answered, continuing to tie the rope, “Listen to me, starshine. You’re it for me. There’s never been anyone else. A-and if anything happens, Lady Fate forbid it… There’ll never be anyone else.”

He finished his words as he tied off the final knot, and silently, you stood there, eyes shut as you pressed your forehead to his. For how long, you weren’t sure. Seconds, minutes, eons… Maybe no time had passed at all. You didn’t really care. Moments like these were never long enough, they always ended too soon. Sehun was your elixir of life, your lifeline, and in these moments, you felt immortal, invincible, powerful.

To be able to bring such a man like him to his knees, to be so ready to put himself on the line for you; you were sure it would be your ruin.

You surged forward, wrapping your arms around Sehun’s neck, and he caught you as you pressed your lips to his in a blazing kiss. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. You whined into the kiss, the dark cotton of his t-shirt pressing against your sensitive nipples and their piercings.

“Sehun,” You moaned into the kiss, reaching down to tug at the hem of his shirt. “N-not fair, take it off.”

He hummed, pulling away to comply with your protests, revealing toned skin and the broad shoulders you so adored.

“Is it fair now?” He asked, grabbing your upper arms to pull you closer and press kisses to your collarbones and along your sternum. “I should tie your hands now, maybe then you’ll learn you’re not allowed to touch without my permission.”

“Shut up,” You said, ignoring his declaration as he pushed you onto the bed. You peered up at his broad form, towering over you in the darkness, almost trembling in anticipation, waiting for him to put his hands on you, to make a move.

A few moments later, he finally did, reaching down to pull your pants off, as well as your underwear. He pressed soft kisses to your stomach as he did. When both garments were finally tossed aside, he lifted himself up onto the bed, lips trailing up across your skin. His eyes met yours as he gazed up at you, through you, before pressing his lips to one of your breasts, your sensitive nipples hardening at the contact of his warm mouth against the cool steel embedded in it.

Your head tipped back, eyes fluttering shut, unable to keep eye contact with your lover. One of your hands came up to comb through his dark hair, whimpering as he alternated between your nipples.

“Sehun, mmph, baby…” You murmured, coming back to look at him when he let go and came back to kiss at your jawline.

“Up, starshine,” He ordered, leaving no room for protest, arms wrapping around your waist and hauling you up to sit on his lap. As you squirmed to get comfortable in his grip, one of his hands reached for his nightstand’s drawer, and he pulled out two pastel pink silk ties. Your heart leaped towards your throat in excitement when you registered what these were, hips subconsciously searching for friction against his.

“Sit still,” He huffed as he closed the drawer, before straightening his posture, dwarfing you even sitting beneath you.

Wordlessly, he brought the tie up to your eyes, covering them before tying it at the back of your head with one tie, quickly doing the same to your hands with the other, tying them tightly in front of you.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” He mumbled, hands raking from your hair to down your back.

His hands came to grasp at your thighs, propping them so they rested only atop one of his. You felt your core clench at what he was alluding to, inhaling sharply.

“Move your hips, baby,” He said, and you couldn’t bring it in you to deny him.

Another thing you couldn’t do was speak, you found, as you prayed you could maintain your balance and began to slowly rock your hips against the rough fabric of his dark pants and his toned thigh, your bare pussy rubbing listlessly against the coarse fabric. You didn’t mind however, perfectly content to let him speak, murmuring strange hybrids of dirty and sweet things in your ear.

The hot pleasure between your legs seemed to double at the restriction in your ribs and not being able to see or anticipate where his hands or mouth were. You buried your head into the crook of Sehun’s neck, peppering wet, opened kisses against his collarbones, your nails digging into your palms with a vengeance in hopes of anchoring yourself to something.

The movements of your hips soon became capricious, rhythmless, your whimpers becoming louder and louder as he switched between flexing his thigh and bouncing it like a restless child. In the darkness of the silk tie, you could feel the callousness of his fingertips as they dug into your hips, a guided meditation through your pleasure.

The room reeked of incense and sex, you realized as you attempted to delay your slowly building release by focusing on different things. Smells, sounds, and finally, Sehun.

This was the Sehun you loved most, the one you cherished most in your heart. The Sehun that was so willing to give, give, and give, but not to the point of recklessness, unlike the Sehun you had seen so often lately in the war room. This Sehun was yours, and yours only. And if the growing wet spot against his rough pants was any indication, then your body loved this Sehun as well.

“S-Sehun.”

“Hmm?”

“P-please let me touch you.”

“Alright, since you asked so nicely.”

You clumsily began to search for his hard bulge, and he grabbed your tied hands and guided them to something hard and hot. You jumped slightly in surprise, not realizing he had taken himself out of his pants while you were humping away at his thigh like a bitch in heat.

He laughed at your squirming, and you slowed the rhythm of your hips in annoyance, but not completely—your hips had stopped folding to you, subconsciously rutting, twitching gently against the rough, now ruined fabric, perpetually searching for release.

“S-shut up,” You panted, and he laughed again, pressing another kiss to your jawline.

“You shut up. I still have to make you come.”

His hands resumed their leisurely movement on your hips, your focus snapping back to the impending edge, thoughts blurring into incoherency as the pleasure against your core. Mindlessly, you let go of Sehun’s member to bring your hands up to your mouth, attempting to spit crudely in order to improvise lube.

Instead, your heart jumped into your throat in arousal when Sehun grabbed your free hand and did the same, keening at his actions, eyebrows furrowing. And, despite feeling a slight annoyance at the chafing of your thighs, a feral instinct took over, and your hips sped up against his thighs.

“You look perfect like this,” He told you, guiding your hand back to where he needed you most, and you began to pump him slowly. His hands moved to wrap around your waist, large hands splaying possessively across your back.

“Gods, I wish you could see how lovely you look, starshine,” He mumbled, seemingly in a daze, “All mine.”

You nodded. “Y-yours, Hunnie. Only yours.”

He pressed a kiss to your collarbone, his breath picking up as your hands did the same, pace speeding up. He groaned against your skin as you pressed your thumb into the slit of his cock. Your movements were harsh, jerking against him as you felt yourself losing yourself in his touch.

“S-Sehun, I’m gonna…”

“I’ve got you,” He whispered, his voice your only anchor, “Let go, Y/N, it’s okay.”

Finally, finally, you crested, head tipping back, mouth falling open in a silent scream, body stiffening in his arms as you were possessed by pleasure. In the dark, colors danced around you, sounds could be touched, Sehun’s hands on your body tasted exquisite.

You didn’t even realize that your display had tipped Sehun over the edge, spilling himself onto your hands while he gripped your shoulders like his life depended on it.

When you came down from your orgasm, your chest heaving, you reached up to pull the blindfold off of your face, struggling slightly as you were still restrained by the silk tie. You blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the light of Sehun’s room, and found that he had fallen back onto the bed in the height of his orgasm.

His eyes had fluttered closed, panting furiously. He seemed loose, almost boneless, and you stifled a laugh at how much more relaxed he seemed now.

“I take it you had fun?” You asked, poking his stomach teasingly. After a moment of silence, of what you assumed to be Sehun trying to catch his breath, you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Hunnie, come on, get up. Can you untie me, please, baby?”

No response. If anything, Sehun’s pants seemed to be getting even heavier.

“Sehun?”

His eyes fluttered open, and your blood ran cold.

His eyes had rolled up into his head, mouth opening and closing as if he were trying to say something but he’d lost his voice. Around you, the temperature seemed to drop.Out of nowhere, the scent of incense returned, stronger than ever, and beneath you, Sehun tensed, muscles contracting as he began to seize.

You froze, momentarily unsure of what was happening. Here lay your lover, convulsing under you, and you were restrained to a point where it would be difficult to help him. Panic creeped into your stomach, eyes searching for something, anything, that would get you out of the grasp of the silk tie. You brought your wrists up to your teeth, frantically hoping to loosen the knot. Sehun was still convulsing. Your eyes drifted around the room, glancing at his stiff hands, gnarled into unrecognizable gestures. Your clothes were on the floor, but you had left your knife in your room.

Knife. Sehun’s knife.

You lunged for the nightstand, knowing that was where he kept his switchblade in case of an emergency, tumbling to the floor as your legs gave out, still wobbly from both panic and your previous orgasm. You managed to open the drawer, clumsily fumbling for the blade, before pulling it out, holding it between your teeth and bringing your wrists up to your mouth, beginning to saw away at the lovely, pale fabric, suddenly not caring about its softness or its illusion of luxury.

All you needed was to know that Sehun was okay.

Your eyes squeezed shut at the thought that he might be dying, and when the final strands of silk finally gave way, you practically spat out the knife, grabbing onto the nightstand for balance, turning to look at Sehun on your weak legs.

He wasn’t on the bed anymore. Your eyebrows furrowed, head spinning as you tried to figure out what was going on.

“Beware the master of tongues.”

You shrieked, eyes snapping up from where the deep, almost demonic voice had come from, and almost fainted then and there.

Because somehow, Sehun was floating above you, suspended in midair, eyes open wide but not a sliver of brown could be seen. In its place shone a bright silver, the holiest of metals for the unholiest sight.

“Beware the master of tongues,” The voice spoke again, speaking through Sehun, who was stiff as a board, face contorted into a sneer, and you realized with a chill that this wasn’t Sehun, but rather the Oracle.

“Beware the master of tongues,” He said once more, as his sneer morphed into a cruel grin, “But beware more the wrath of the faceless one.”

#kpop scenarios #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #kpop au #exo x reader #exo scenarios #exo smut #exo imagines #sehun x reader #sehun smut #sehun scenarios #my writing #fic: aygaf

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littlegiantposts · 4 years ago

Text

pilot (~revised~)

Kageyama x f!reader

may contain spoilers!

description: In which Y/n is a new addition to Karasuno’s Girl’s Volleyball Club

warning: I’m sure there are some curse words in there.

A/N: yeah so there is another version of this on my blog, but that was really like a test run/rough draft, so here is the revised one that I like better and I added more scenes. ALSO, just ask if you wanna be added to like a taglist. I already stated this in the previous pilot post i will state it again to make sure.

This started off as just as a nice story to play in my head, but I really wanted to see if I could write it down. First things first, I am raised in California. Thus, I am quite incompetent in knowledge about Japan schooling. All my knowledge is really from me googling stuff and ofc, watching haikyuu. With that said, if I made a mistake on the take of Japan schooling, I do not mean to cause any offense. This is solely for entertainment purposes. With that said, I do not own the characters of haikyuu. However, there are some characters I made up with my own imagination. In addition, this is an “x reader” sort of story but I will be defining some of her characteristics so I am sorry if it hinders you from imagining its you. Finally, I am not that good at writing stories lol but im trying. I hope you enjoy.

I hate introductions. Y/n thought to herself as she sat back down in her seat after standing in front of the class, stating her name and her previous school. Her gaze shifted towards the window. The sun was out and shining and she had the perfect view of the gymnasium. Oh how she just wanted to get up from her uncomfy chair and leave the boring lecture and head towards the gym.

It was the first day of school for Y/n at Karasuno High. It’s not like she started in the middle of the semester, no, she was just about a month late into the school year. With her work ethic, she didn’t feel any pressure in order to catch up with everyone else. She knew she would get it done.

It’s not really her fault she came a bit late into the school year either. Her dad’s job required a small move, not that she was complaining. She didn’t really feel tied down at her old high school because: she wasn’t there for that long and she didn’t really make any friends, despite joining a sport.

It’s not that she didn’t want to make friends. It seems that her track record, or the lack thereof, from junior high with meeting new people has left an imprint on her.

Y/n looks down at the worksheet that was passed out in the beginning of class. The assignment was already completed due to Y/n’s eagerness to finish any homework that would take away time from her main passion.

Some people would say she was obsessed. Some would say dedicated. She simply sees volleyball as an opportunity. The class bell rings, signaling for lunch. Before she realizes it, she is walking towards the gym, in which she would meet the girl’s volleyball captain. As she is switching shoes, she can hear screaming from inside.

“-What did I tell you about touching my onigiri! You are going to pay for that!” “I really didn’t mean it this time, I promise! I didn’t know it was yours!” The voices were muffled, yet she was still able to hear the sincerity in both of the voices. Y/n was about to open the gymnasium’s door when the door swung open by a tall pink-haired girl. She was being chased by another tall girl with long blonde hair, but she was a bit shorter than the pink one. Before Y/n could process stepping aside because it seemed the pink-haired girl had no inclination in stopping, she was tumbled to the ground by the girl who she can only guess took an onigiri without permission. As well, the blonde clumsily tripped and fell on top of the two.

“You idiots! Will you stop it! We already told you, we got a guest coming today and we want to make a good first impression!” A stern voice called out inside the gym.

“Um, Moa-san, I think our wishes are already soiled.” Another voice chimed in from the gym.

“Wha- You dumbasses! Hey, are you okay?” A girl with dirty blonde hair came out from the entrance and offered a hand towards Y/n as the two perpetrators started to get up with apologies towards Y/n.

“Yeah, I am good.” Despite just being tackled to the ground, Y/n remains as neutral as ever.

“Aren’t you going to ask if we are okay?” The energetic, pink haired spoke.

“As if I care when you collide into our guest! You really need to be more cautious, Etsuko!” She barked. “I am Aihara Moa. Pleasure to meet you. You’re the first year that turned that application past the deadline, right?” she states more calmly than her previous statement.

“Pleasure is all mine. And, yes. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Y/n states with quite the unfazed face.

Does this kid crack a smile once in a while? Moa asked in her mind. She seems quite different than the other first years we have. Her thoughts continue.

“I am Oba Yuma and this is Morita Etsuko.” Yuma, who had the pretty, long blonde hair, spoke with a warm smile.

“Why did you introduce me?! I wanted to have a cool introduction!” Etsuko huffed with a small pout.

“Well, it’s not like you can recover your so-called ‘cool introduction’ from that full-body collision.” Yuma smoothly replied. Etsuko’s eyes widened and cheeks heated up as she couldn’t come up with a sly comeback to her logic.

“You guys are just lucky that Rinko isn’t here to scold you.” Moa warned the 2 first years. With the mention of the scary third year that wasn’t even the captain, yet she reigned supreme in the disciplinary department, they shivered at the thought of the punishment.

As Y/n stepped further into the big, bright court, she spotted that she could only assume was the captain as she looked so appalled at what happened.

“Hello, you must be Michimiya Yui.” Y/n knew she had to say something to pull the worried captain from her thoughts.

“Hi! Yes, that’s me! I am so sorry for those two. I would say they aren’t always like that, but I don’t want to lie to a potential teammate.” Yui spoke with an uneasy smile.

Yuma and Etsuko’s interests peaked when they heard “a potential teammate” come out of their captains' mouths. They were the only first years on the team, so the thought of another person in the same boat as them made them excited and wanted to join the conversation. The two first years gave each other a look and started to walk towards Yui, and hopefully their new friend. However, before they could even be in ear-shot, the pair got pulled away by Sasaki Chizuru, another third year.

“Oh, no. Don’t think you will be bombarding her with questions right off the bat.” She bluntly states.

“Oh, c’mon Sasaki, aren’t you curious about her? Like how did she get into volleyball? Or even, is she a beginner? Or maybe she is an absolute monster who dominates the court!” Etsuko proclaimed as her mind went too fast for her mouth to follow.

“As of right now, it’s not our business. All we can do, and are allowed to do”, emphasizing the word ‘allowed’, “is to watch from the sidelines and quietly eat our lunches.” Chizuru instructed the first years and pointed at the far corner of the gym.

Despite her own words, Chizuru couldn’t help but glance at Y/n and wonder the same things that the first year questioned. At face value, Y/n was quite the enigma. The 2 first years gave a pout, but headed towards their desired location.

“So, you came from Niiyama Girls' High? That’s a really good school for volleyball. What made you come to Karasuno?” Yui asked.

“It was the most ideal school in terms of my dad’s work location.” Y/n states plainly. She didn’t technically lie. It was an ideal school in terms to the proximity to her new apartment, but that was not the only reason. She saw videos of their interhigh-prelims last year and to be quite frank, Y/n was not entirely impressed with the state of their team. However, she knew that this meant there was room to grow for them. She knew very well that she could have gone to Shiratorizawa and joined their girls’ volleyball. Objectively, with her skill set, Shiratorizawa made sense. Nonetheless, Y/n didn’t know what compelled her to pick this one. She convinced herself it was because she is a sucker for rooting the underdog.

Does this kid show any emotion? Yui thought in her mind. It’s like nothing affects her.

“How long have you been playing volleyball?” Yui curiously asked.

“Since the 2nd grade.” Y/n quickly states. As much as she wasn’t showing it, she was just itching to show what she can do. The court was right there in front of her, after all.

“That’s impressive, alright, well if you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to see some serves and sets from you. After school, we can hold a three on three since we all aren’t really in the right clothes to play.”

“Sounds good.” To say Y/n was excited would be an understatement. As she removed her cream sweater, she could feel a set of eyes burning a hole on her back. She turned around to put her sweater down and realized that she was wrong. It wasn’t one pair of eyes, it was all of them, curious to see how good she really is. She could feel her heart pounding at the thought of holding everyone’s attention. She knew if she let her mind continue, the nerves would get to her and hinder her performance. She took deep breaths and started to quietly humm a song that was previously playing on her phone from her morning ride to school.

Yui passed a volleyball to her and ran to the other side of the net, and yelled, “Let’s see what ya got!”

Y/n carried herself behind the serve line, taking one deep breath to keep her hands from shaking. With that exhale, she opened her eyes and focused her sights on Yui. The captain wouldn’t admit it, but she could already feel herself sweating under the first year’s gaze.

She looks so intimidating. I’m not even on the court, yet I’m scared. Yuma viewed Y/n’s determined look. For Y/n, it was as if everything crumbled away and the only thing remained was the court. She starts her run up.

A jump serve?! Yuma, Etsuko, and Chizuru incredulously thought simultaneously with eyes basically bugging out of their head. They watch in amazement as she jumps with severe height and reeled her arm back. After that, all that could be sensed was a loud snap and then the ball smacked the ground next to the wide-eyed captain. The impact from the ball gave a small breeze through Yui’s short hair. The deafening silence that followed her serve filled the room in an instant. Those watching from the sidelines had to pick up their jaws from the floor.

“She’s a first year?! Are you sure?!” Etsuko broke the silence with her curiosity getting the best of her.

“Boke Etsuko! That was already clarified, don’t make her repeat herself!” Yuma scolded. While Yui read your capabilities on your application form, it was nothing like actually being on the receiving end in real time.

“That’s quite a serve she got in her arsenal.” A voice startled the three high school students, sitting on the sidelines. Etsuko and Yuma were the most startled, but Chizuru was quite used to her fellow classmate popping in every now and then.

“Seriously, Sudou. We have to put a bell on you or something because I don’t think my heart can take any of your surprise entrances.” Sudou Rinko only slyly chuckles at Etsuko remark. She looks over at Y/n and Yui on the court.

“Did you guys see the precision on that serve?” Rinko posed to the other three sitting on the ground, munching on their lunch.

“Well, not really, but it landed, like, near Michimiya, right?” Etsuko tries to come up with the answer that Rinko was looking for.

“It landed right next to her left foot. I think that pipsqueak is able to aim her serve.”

“What?! That’s insane.”

“Yeah, insane, but not impossible.”

“With her, maybe we can win more games!”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Etsuko, a team is only good if everyone is giving their all.” Yuma reminds. “After all, there’s not only one person on the court, there’s six.”

“I heard she came from Niiyama Girls' High.” Sudou stated as she reverted her gaze back to her fellow teammates. They stared at her after she gave more information on the stranger in their gym.

“Why would she come to Karasuno then?” Yuma asked honestly. She knew that her team had strengths, but she also knew that other teams had strengths that overpowered them.

“How could you diss your own school like that?” Etsuko was almost angry at how her teammate was treating their school. She always was the one to take pride in everything she does.

“No, that’s a valid question. It makes sense that a player with her caliber would be well-suited in a powerhouse school.” Rinko supported Yuma in her question. All four look ahead and see that Y/n is beginning to set for Yui.

“Her precision and accuracy are so on point, it almost makes me sick.” Yuma commented on how your form for setting only held the necessities. Y/n stepped with purpose, and it showed as she passed a nice set for Yui, allowing her to have optimal choices in where she can place her spike.

The bell rang, ending lunch. Etsuko couldn’t wait for practice. She wanted to play against Y/n on the three on three. As for Yuma, she always wanted to learn how to set, but with her grand height, most people would assume she would be great as a spiker. Everyone started to pack their belongings up, heading to their respected classes. Y/n started to head towards class 1-5. Etsuko and Yuma caught up with Y/n, standing on the sides of her.

“Do you guys need something?” Y/n poses the question bluntly, yet she was quite startled. Y/n never expected to have people purposefully come up to her.

“Yeah, where did you learn to serve like that? It’s crazy!” Etsuko praises.

“Don’t you remember what Sasaki said? Don’t crowd her with questions, dumbass!” Yuma scolded, which Etsuko already had an irritated look on her face.

“It’s only one question! It’s not like she’s going to fall apart by it, and I just wanna know because I want be strong as well!” Etsuko’s vain on her forehead looked like it was having a field day.

“Yeah, like that would ever happen.” Yuma remarks.

“What did you just say?! I’m going to make you eat your words!”

“Ooo Frenchie has me shaking in my boots” Yuma taunts with the famous pink haired character from Grease. Etsuko started to jump at Yuma. Because Y/n was between them, she raised an arm.

“Please do not fight, you may cause a ruckus.” Y/n chimed in. The first years returned to their previous spots. Etsuko huffed a little and crossed her arms and slightly turned her head away.

“So, what class are you in? I am in class 1-4. I don’t think I have seen you in the hallways.” Yuma tries to maneuver the conversation to something other than volleyball. Y/n was honestly confused. It’s been awhile when someone her age, someone in her grade asked her a genuine question about herself. She almost felt it was some sort of joke.

“Um, I have class 1-5. And that’s because today’s my first day. Transferred a bit late.” Y/n had pauses in between her words, still not used to people going out of their way to talk to her.

“Woah! You must be pretty smart! That’s a college-prep class, right?” Yuma genuinely comments with a warm smile. Y/n nods, complements on stuff other than volleyball made Y/n short-circuit. The trio walks inside the main school building, the air condition changing the atmosphere. Y/n didn’t notice, but she received some stares from other students as the three walk through hallways. While Y/n remained oblivious, Yuma and Etsuko realized immediately and looked at each other with perplexed looks, not because of the stares that were directed towards you, but the fact that you seemed unfazed by it.

“Woah, who is that? She’s really pretty.” a student spoke to their friend.

“She’s new I’m pretty sure.” another commented.

“I heard she has a famous dad. She’s like loaded.”

“I wonder if she’s taken”

“I heard she came from California.”

“Someone told me she’s snooty.”

“Her looks certainly make up for it”

“Why is she hanging out with those weird volleyball girls?”

Etsuko physically jolted at that last comment, anyone can physically see the irritation on her face. She turned her head towards the voice of the last comment, wanting to immediately put them in their place. On the other hand, Y/n was too much in her head at the moment.

Shoot, I haven’t asked them a question. Well, that’s what I should do, right? That’s what friends do? Wait, we aren’t even friends, I just met them. They probably think I’m weird. Oh great, now I haven’t said anything for the past 3 minutes. They probably think I don’t like them. Y/n felt that this was weird foreign territory.

“So, what’s your favorite subject?” Y/n broke the silence, just wanting to say anything to make sure that her two future teammates knew that she was still invested in this conversation.

Are you serious, Y/n?! No one wants to talk about school, that’s so lame! They probably think you’re a smart ass. Uhg. You’re terrible at this. Y/n wanted to groan and bow her head in shame, but all she could do is hold her head high and follow through with her question.

“I like math, and you won’t get an actual subject out of Etsuko, she will probably say something stupid like lunch.” Yuma answered.

“Hey! Why do you keep answering for me?! I am fully capable of answering!” Etsuko barked at her snarky teammate.

“Yeah, your English grade can clearly vouch for you.” Yuma sarcastically stated. Etsuko looked like all the blood from her face left, looking quite pale due to her not so great English grade. Y/n didn’t realize it, but a small smile was on her face as she saw the two interact.

“Well, this is my stop, And, Etsuko, your stop was awhile ago.” Yuma stated as she didn’t really know if she should just send a wave your way or a handshake because Y/n seemed so formal. She settled with a pat on the back. Etsuko copied Yuma, but her pat was a bit more forceful and it really just turned into a smack. Y/n didn’t say anything, but noted that Etsuko has one hell of an arm on her.

“I already knew that! I wanted to talk to our new friend!” Etsuko looked like she was going to cross her arms and stomp her foot like a small child throwing a tantrum. Y/n stopped her walking when she heard the word “friend” come out of Etsuko’s mouth. Y/n turned to look at Etsuko and Yuma with a surprised look. Etsuko and Yuma instinctively thought they misspoke and perhaps angered you.

“We’re friends?” Y/n held a pause between the two words. Her incredulous face kept switching eye contact between the 2 first years in front of her. “You don’t even know if I will be your teammate yet.” Y/n stated. Etsuko bursted out in laughter and it caused Y/n’s face to turn beet red, embarrassed. Yuma’s face looked like she wanted to backhand Etsuko, but before she could, Etsuko spoke “You don’t have to be our teammate for us to be friends! There isn’t criteria the last time I checked to be friends. Besides, you’re really cool!”

Yuma retracted her arm, despite Etsuko being a dumbass, she somehow always knew what to say in awkward situations. Y/n felt something that spread through her chest. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling. Etsuko and Yuma bid there goodbye’s to Y/n, leaving her to get to her class. The feeling in her chest was not new, it’s just a feeling that she has not felt in a long time.

Y/n sat down in her seat and pulled out her notebook. Everyone started to take their seats. Right before the teacher reached to close the door, a short girl with a small blue hair tie in her short blonde hair just managed to slip through the door. She was out of breath and sweaty, muttering an apology and quickly sat at her desk, which was coincidentally on Y/n’s left side. The teacher began lecturing, instructing to open a page in their textbook.

The end of the school day approached rather quickly. Because of her most recent interaction with Etsuko and Yuma, she couldn’t wait for the three on three. Specifically, who would she be playing against. While thinking of possible offense moves to coordinate, Y/n grabs her volleyball bag from her locker and makes her way to the girl’s gym. The door was already open and she peaked through to make sure there was no way she will be tackled again. She makes eye contact with a girl with short black hair, which she vaguely remembers as Sudou Rinko.

“Hello! I’m sorry I am a bit early, I just wanted to get a head start in warming up because I do take awhile for those.” Y/n quickly explains with a hint of timidness.

“That’s alright! I already setted up the net so you’re welcome to warm up in here or outside, whichever you prefer.” Sudou stated, making sure she didn’t seem to overbearing as others perceive her to be.

“Okay, thank you. I do prefer outside.” As much as Y/n’s face held a deadpan look, she was nervous in front of the third year. She didn’t know if she could just head out or bow. Unfortunately, she went with the latter. Sudou cheeks turned red. She didn’t really expect that, I mean in her eyes, she’s just a third year. But, your formality was appreciated.

“Heh, no need to be so formal. I’ve seen what you can do even without warming up, and we would be lucky to have you on our team.” Sudou reassured.

Now it was Y/n’s turn to turn slightly red. She’s new to accepting genuine compliments. So, all she did was a weird salute with a firm nod of her head, and headed out.

That kid has an interesting way of interacting with people. Sudou thought to herself. Hopefully, she’ll be able to open up more. Sudou busied herself by warming up as well.

In the meantime, Y/n found a spot near the side of the gym where there were no trees and the sun just perfectly drenched the scenery with natural light. It was as if the sun placed a golden film over everything and settled on a calm atmosphere. Here, Y/n began stretching.

After awhile, Y/n was tossing a volleyball up in the air, getting comfortable with how the ball fit perfectly in her hands as she set it in the air. After a couple of sets, she got into the rhythm of bumping, setting, and spiking against a wall. While she was focused on the ball, out of her peripheral vision, she notices someone. After a spike, rather than bumping it, she catches it.

“If you are going to stare any longer, I expect a name out of you.” Y/n stated with a calm yet stern tone while still staring at the wall in front of her.

“I-I’m sorry. You just seem so focused.” The stranger spoke.

Y/n closes her eyes, when she opens them, she turns to look at the stranger. He’s tall, way taller than her. He’s got a beard and his hair is pulled into a tight bun. If Y/n didn’t know any better, she would have assumed he was a teacher, but he was wearing a school uniform after all. With her eyes set on him, it was as if the guy visibly shook in fear and eyes widened.

“Well, you have to be, in an actual game of course.” Y/n responded.

“You play?” The mysterious guy asks. He does have a calming voice for someone who looks like the opposite.

“In order for me to answer, you should give me your name. I’ve been taught to not talk to strangers.”

“Oh r-right. I’m Azumane Asahi.”

There was a beat of silence as Y/n kept staring at him, deciding how she should approach this conversation. In Asahi’s eyes, he thought she was judging him and he started to wonder why didn’t he just mind his own business.

“Yes, I play.” Y/n answered his previous question. Asahi perked up at her answer like a little puppy.

“You seem like you’re really dedicated.” Asahi offered his observation to her. Y/n chuckles. Asahi’s eyes widened once more at the sudden reaction out of the girl.

“I’m guessing you play as well.” Asahi was dumbfounded at your observation. He was scared at how you were able to pick that up quickly.

“H-how did you-”

“Someone who is able to easily recognize the dedication in one person, also finds that same dedication within themselves”

Damn, this girl is wise. Asahi thought.

“However, volleyball was just a guess.” Y/n continued. “And I was lucky enough to be right.”

“Well, I don’t know about that.”

Y/n looked at him again. Y/n wasn’t one to let someone divulge into their personal life. Mainly because no one really came up to her for advice since she was quite the nonchalant person. However, if today is any indication, it seems her social interaction skills has been given a second shot. Y/n analyzed Asahi’s troubled face.

“Are you having an internal battle?”

How unfortunate that you phrased it that way, Y/n. Jeez. You can be so formal sometimes. Y/n scolded herself.

“Yeah, of some sorts.” Asahi responded with a puzzling look at the ground.

“About volleyball?” Y/n specified.

“Uh, yeah.” he reluctantly responded.

“What’s up?” Y/n knew that was more informal and she mentally high-fived herself for talking like a normal teenager.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah”

“Have you ever not wanted to do something because you failed at it?”

A beat of silence.

“No.” Y/n said confidently. However, she knew what he was trying to ask, so she added, “But, I’ve felt frustrated at it before.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Well, tell me, can you be frustrated at something yet you want keep trying it?”

Asahi didn’t respond, just thinking of what she said.

“The answer is yes, by the way. Volleyball is a sport where you are constantly improving yourself, just like any other sport really.” Y/n started to blabber on. “Volleyball provides that uncomfortable tension of not being enough. For some people, it discourages them completely, leaving them to quit or be stagnant. But, there are rare cases where the person is strongly encouraged by it. Those are the people who really do succeed.”

Asahi was deep in thought as he processed your words. As Y/n looks at Asahi, he looks like he’s going to hurt himself if he thinks any harder.

“Here, stand over there. Let me set for you.” Y/n commanded. Asahi Looks up, “h-how did you know I spike?” At this point, he thought you were some sort of psychic.

Y/n shrugs, “Only an ace would have that mindset and label a simple mistake as a “failure”. You feel like you’re whole team depends on you, right?” Asahi nods with shame. “Well, I think you need to understand that the other 5 people on your side have their own jobs as well. Sure, they know that you are capable of grabbing a point, but that’s because they are supporting you in the process.”

Asahi is quite overwhelmed at all the truth you are speaking, but it makes sense to him. Asahi obeys and walks where you pointed to.

“Now, run up like you are going to spike. You’re job is to knock,” Y/n grabs an apple from her lunch box, “this off of this trashcan.” Y/n places the apple on the the tin can and positions it in the way where a blocker would be in terms of where Asahi is standing. “Imagine this,” she draws a line in the dirt with her foot, “is the net. And, I don’t doubt that you are able to hit over the net.”

“O-oh I don’t know, you see, I haven’t really-”

“Just do it.” Y/n cuts him off with a sigh. Asahi gulps and catches the ball from Y/n.

He takes a deep breathe in. And a deep breathe out. He tosses the ball to you. Of course, Y/n perfectly sets the ball for him.

She notices after those deep breathes, it seems Asahi is a completely different person. He looks more focused and confident. His eyes are concentrated on the ball.

After the set, Y/n quickly looks over at the tin trashcan. And lo and behold, her apple is now on the dirt floor. Y/n smiles fondly. Asahi carries the most precious smile on his face.

“Now, how did that feel?” Y/n questions him.

“Makes me want to do another.” Asahi was staring at his hand as if the key to life was written on his hand. He then looked over at Y/n with a glint of inspiration in his eyes.

“The boys volleyball team should still be practicing, right? I still have to start my own practice.” Y/n shares a soft smile, which she hasn’t done in awhile. Asahi reverts back to a nervous state. Y/n’s guessing there is some awkward tension between that relationship.

“Just go to them. It never hurts to just try, right?” Y/n tries her best to be encouraging, but not too pushy.

“I-I don’t know I left them so suddenly-”

“Just go! Or else.” Y/n knew she shouldn’t use fear as a tactic to push him, but to be quite frank, it’s useful in these rare occasions. Asahi fervently nods, he didn’t want to hear what came after ‘what else’ so he quickly grabs his bag and starts his jog to the boy’s gym.

“Oh wait! What’s your name?” Asahi was already a bit far, so she had to yell, “Y/n! Good luck!” She cups her mouth as if that will totally help her voice travel to him. “Well, thank you, Y/n!”

Y/n picks up her things and heads towards the gym, where she has her own journey to embark on.

Taglist: @riceballsandanime

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deadontheinsidebut · 4 years ago

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Hihihi! Been scrolling through your blog and I LOVE EM!!❤️ May i request a kuroo angst with fluffy ending? Let your brain run 🤩🤩

Hi!!! Yes ofc you can! I was actually debating making Kuroo cheat but our man ain’t no cheater so I thought this was better! I really hope you enjoy🤩💗 and thank you for the request. Please let me know if you ever have any other requests!! And if it’s not what you envisioned please feel free to tell me😬

In sickness and in health...

Pairing: Kuroo x fem!reader

Genre: angst!!!! And fluff soft boy at the end🥺🥺

Summary: You and Kuroo have been in love for the longest time. You’re both well into your 20s now but you’re so used to the wild life that you both are too afraid to slow down. But what happens when an uncontrollable circumstance gets in the way?

The sound of the car engine roared and blended with harmonious sounds of you and Kuroo’s laughing. The music blasted and the wind in your hair made you feel like a movie star. Because that’s what it was like being with Kuroo Tetsurou. He was the man of your dreams. Before meeting him, you never felt like anything special. You never even left the house. You owe him everything.

You feel his hand reach over and rest your thigh. He gave it a reassuring squeeze as thought he knew what you were thinking. You pull out your phone so you can record this moment forever. The atmosphere was perfect. Your boyfriend’s smile was contagious and the the 3am moon beaming over head was so exhilarating.

“Where are we going tonight, beautiful?” He asks as you continue to film the adventure.

“I want food. I want to go to a diner!!” You exclaim.

“Anything for my queen,” he responds.

Your breathing is quickening in the thrill of the moment and you can feel the lightness in your head.

Everything was going well... until you landed in the hospital.

Your eyes open only to see a very concerned Kuroo by your side. It was morning now. Your hand is intertwined with his and you can see the bags under his eyes. This was your least favourite Kuroo. You never wanted to see a sad expression on your boyfriend’s face. The Kuroo you know and love is always fun loving and energetic.

“You’re finally awake, princess.”

His voice is tired. You heard his voice crack.

“What happened?”

“You had a heart attack. You fell unconscious when we were about to get food..” his voice trails off.

You furrow your brows. A heart attack. But how?

The doctor knocks on the door and makes his way into the room.

“Hello there y/n, I’m Dr. N and I have the results. You’ve been suffering from a coronary artery disease. Do heart diseases run in your family?”

His words did not completely process through your mind. Are you hearing him correctly? Kuroo’s eyes are widened in shock and he’s shaking. He’s shaking because of you.

“What exactly does that mean?” You ask, trying to stay strong for your boyfriend.

“Your arteries are clogged and there is a buildup of cholesterol on the inner walls of your arteries. From now on you need to be more cautious with what you eat and focus on your health. Don’t do anything too wild,” the doctor’s voice trails on.

You’re breathing hard. You couldn’t even cry. The doctor leaves the room so you can have some alone time with Kuroo, but you can’t even meet his eyes. How could you possibly believe that your exuberant lifestyle could carry on when your health is dragging you down? Dragging Kuroo down.

“We’ll get through this, y/n,” Kuroo whispers.

He never uses your real name. You’re clenching your fists even as he reaches for your hand. You didn’t want to look at the disappointed look on his face.

“Hey, look at me. They said we can go home. I’ll cook you a healthy meal or something. Maybe stay in and watch a movie?”

Who were you to argue? You grumbled in compliance and he helped you get off the bed. The car ride home was silent. You could sense his gaze on you every few seconds as if he was making sure you weren’t going to pass out on him again. That bothered you. You didn’t like being looked at as a fragile doll.

“Stop staring at me,” you mumble.

“Oh, sorry princess,” Kuroo responds and nervously chuckles.

The silence was deafening and filled with a million unsaid words.

He tries to help you out of the car but you refuse. You walk ahead into the house. The distance between you two is strange. All you wanted to do was embrace him and stay there. You wanted to feel safe because this was scary for you. But how could you expect that of him when all you two have known was the dangers of life?

“Let me take care of you,” Kuroo starts.

You reluctantly fall into his arms.

A few days have passed now and you two have not been going out. Kuroo is very dedicated to keeping your health in top shape. The doctor recommended not eating fatty foods for a while and to get enough exercise so he was avoiding taking you out to eat altogether.

Your conversations only consist of empty words and distant feelings. You felt like a burden and he thought he wasn’t doing enough for you.

“I know we’re not going to be able to have as much fun for a while... or maybe even longer because of my health and I know how much you like to have fun so-”

“Enough with the negative talk! If you have time to think that you should also know how I feel about pessimism,” he says.

That was your first argument in a long time.

The tension and was only growing and you can feel your body being accustomed to the life indoors. It felt normal to not be running about all the time. The days that passed seemed to be much quieter. Kuroo was slowing down for you and you felt guilty because that was never how you envisioned his life to be. Were you being too insecure?

“Say, y/n, how about we go out for a walk? The sun is shining!” Kuroo offers.

He’s never asked to go for a walk before.

“Why can’t we go out and hit the beach or something. We can open the sunroof in your car and just go wild. Wouldn’t that be more like old times?”

You see him shudder at the mention of riding in his car. It was apparent that he was not over the fact that you literally had a heart attack in his car.

“I’m not feeling it today, princess. Lets just chill.”

“What the actual fuck, Kuroo?”

“P-princess?”

“You don’t have to slow down for me. Why are you treating me like I’m not capable of having fun?”

You didn’t know why you were screaming now. Kuroo was just as surprised and his expression showed that he could barely recognize you. The lightheartedness was gone and you two were forced to face the reality that this was real.

But neither of you were ready.

“I’m gonna leave for a bit..” Kuroo murmurs.

“Answer my question!”

The desperation sounded disgusting.

“We need to both relax a bit.”

“To hell with relaxing! Look at me! I’m. still. me. Stop pretending the woman you love disappeared the moment she landed in the hospital!” The tears were overflowing and the cracking of my voice was a pitiful cry.

Kuroo was flinching at your harsh words.

“Maybe you are gone...”

Your voice caught in your throat.

“You don’t mean that. Kuroo look at me.”

“You’ve been pushing me away since the hospital. And I understand. I couldn’t even take care of you that night. You were passed out cold and I had no idea what to do. We’re both always so caught up in the fun we never focused on real life like the tears and pains. I was the one forcing your body to overwork itself and go out all night and... maybe your life would’ve been better without me.”

“This is MY burden to carry, not yours. Why are you giving up so easily?” But I’m whimpering now.

The silence went on for too long.

“Lets just go on a break for a while I don’t know,” Kuroo suggests but you can hear the strain in his voice.

“What... get out. Get out right now,” your voice is soft but deadly.

The sound of the door shutting without the usual goodbye kiss from your ex lover is what broke you. In one second, your had lost everything. Your bottled up emotions immediately erupt. You’re clenching your fists and your tears are streaming down your face. The scream that escaped your mouth was deafening. The pain was real. And the worst part was that the breakup wasn’t the result of lost love, but a punch from reality.

The days that passed were slower, more monotonous. You play the video from that night on your phone. You can hear the cheerful laughs and see the genuine smile on your boyfriend’s face. All was well. But a series of miscommunication and insecurities brought you to where you were.

‘I should call him. I should apologize...’ you thought. This thought pondered your mind for countless days now.

‘If I hadn’t been so insecure of what we had things would’ve worked out. We had something good’

Your checkups to the doctor were lonely.

Your car rides to the grocery store were boring.

Your attempts to imagine the feelings Kuroo once brought out in you were useless.

God you wanted this boy back so badly it was starting to become unbearable.

You were struggling as you got out of the car carrying a few bags of grocery when a large hand extended itself towards you.

You look up to see the familiar black-haired male looking down at you with concern and regret. You started shaking and immediately dropped the bags. Your pride was out the door the moment you saw him and you leaped into his arms. He trembled at your touch but he returned your embrace with just as much intensity.

Once again, there were a million unsaid words, but the silence was comfortable. He releases you and his eyes search for answer within yours.

“Why are you being so nice to me? I-I abandoned you when you needed someone the most!” He cries out.

“Let’s just do what we should’ve done in the first place and talk things out properly,” you decide.

The two of you make your way into the house and you feel him squeeze your hand. He caresses your face with his other hand and you two begin your long conversation about your biggest worries and greatest fears. You talk about the misunderstandings and how you were both so busy living in the moment that you never stopped to think about how your relationship could potentially have doubts and pains.

Eventually, you two have ended up intertwined on the couch. You’re crying silently into his chest and he’s running his hands through your hair while placing soft little kisses on your head. You both lacked balance, but you were willing to rebuild.

“Let me take care of you,” your boyfriend repeated against your hair, “let me be your rock.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out and have fun?” You ask.

You can feel him smile into your hair, “who says we can’t have both, princess?”

And that’s what happened.

You both were more in love than ever. The silence that was once painstakingly heartbreaking was now filled with unconditional love. And you didn’t feel insecure the way you did because you ARE special even without Kuroo.

You step into Kuroo’s car and he’s grinning from ear to ear. The comfortable feeling of the wind blowing in your hair made you feel like you were on top of the world. And the feeling of Kuroo’s hand on your thigh was exhilarating. You look into his eyes and you see the promise that he’s been trying to make since the beginning:

I will love you in sickness and in health.

#haikyuu!!#hq hcs #hq imagines #hq x reader #kuroo tetsurou #reader x haikyuu #currently reading #anime fanfiction #kuroo fluff #hq kuroo #kuroo angst #hq angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x y/n

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wigglebox · 4 years ago

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Look, I've had a wild day. I woke up early, had to take a look at Tumblr to see spoilers because I couldn't help myself, saw sth about a 'I love you', got so excited I couldn't go back to sleep, fell asleep 2 hours later, woke up convinced I had somehow mistook discussion about 12x15 for spoilers in my sleep, found out I hadn't, felt glee I had never felt before, found out people were really angry (like "graduated from queerbaiting to homophopia" and those weren't even the bad takes), felt bit sad, then the memes hit my dash like a tidal wave and now I'm gleeful again cause they were some good memes, and now I don't know which way to sit.

How are you doing today?

Hello! Welcome to the morning if it is indeed morning where you are! The episode was very good and I highly suggest watching as soon as possible.

I don’t like saying things like this, but it’s hard for me to take people who believe all that seriously because before this episode I wouldn’t even call SPN queerbaiting but even more so now because we uncovered the first part of the final puzzle piece of their canon which was already established. Their feelings for each other were already canon, and what we were waiting for was one of them to figure it out and/or act on it.

I really need to ask these folks nicely how is it queerbaiting when talking about queer canon, especially now that it’s even MORE confirmed than before.

I don’t understand the homophobia argument about last night either, even less than the queerbaiting thing. I imagine it’s the ‘bury your gays’ trope to which I think they may be willingly ignoring story and plot because that the percentage of Cas likely returning before the end of the show is hiiiiigh. I wonder if emotions are just high and they are annoyed there wasn’t a long-winded conversation followed by whatever and whatever.

But that’s why we prepared ourselves for these things. We knew it was going to be bittersweet. The whole show is bittersweet. And, when Cas comes back because I'm convinced of it, it’s not a bury your gays thing. Bobo is a gay man he can play with whatever tropes he wants to and subvert them as he wants to especially since he has like.. .confirmed this ship. Just like any queer person can play with tropes that always severely knee-capped the representation of queer people in media.

I know a lot of older folks, I’m kind of on the age-line here, are used to constant media never giving gay characters a happy ending be it in books or movies, very much to the bury your gays trope, so maybe that’s why some are more cautious than others. It’s this deep-seated paranoia? I think?

And I can’t force anyone to think how I do or we do or a lot of us do.

My advice, however, is to blacklist those on your dash so you don’t see their posts, or unfollow, or just add more positivity to your dash so it drowns out those voices that make you feel bad because the fact remains:

We had an audible confirmation of feelings (this is what I call part one)

Dean’s reaction very much spells out we can be heading for the second audible confirmation (part 2)

Anything about a script saying ‘he can’t reciprocate’ just means he couldn’t respond at that time

Bobo is a great writer and took this ship in his hands this season (like other seasons but with more freedom this season) and helped it cross the finish line.

There’s no queerbaiting and there’s no homophobia only high strung emotions and people rooted in their positions (I am rooted too, so they aren’t alone in that lol) If you need positive blogs to follow I can recommend some! I may just make a post at this point.

#spn spoilers #spn discussions #slight negativity bl #1518 #punainenpuolukka

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canyouhearthelight · 5 years ago

Text

The Miys, Ch. 70

After every serious arc, I like to do a fluffy chapter. Super fluffy. And this one is no exception.

There are three people I cannot thank enough for helping with this chapter. First up is @charlylimph-blog for helping me get the character of Charly right. You may remember her briefly as the woman with the collar from the Food Festival arc.

Second, of course, is @satan-parisienne for beta-ing the stuff I churn out. She is in town for New Year’s this week, and I had the absolute pleasure of watching her reactions in real-time (something I haven’t gotten to do in several months)!

Last but not least, @baelpenrose, who has been giving the last few chapters a read to make sure the story is consistent and to poke holes in anything I may have missed or got mixed up.

Happy New Year, and I hope to see you all in the New Roaring 20s!

”Sophia, we sorta kinda maybe need to talk?”

I glanced up from my datapad, rubbing the cramp in my neck as I did. With Insert Winter Holiday – and the crisis with Else – behind us, the backlog at work basically qualified as cruel and unusual punishment in most Terran jurisdictions. Unfortunately, we weren’t on Terra anymore, so I was working twenty hour days trying to get things back on an even keel. Neither my joints nor my partners were very appreciative of it, but at least Conor and Maverick complained less than my spine did.

When I saw my visitor, I stood with much crackling to greet her. Charly bounced in, completely oblivious to my crunchy joints. “You work too much,” she scolded without preamble. “We need a ladies’ night – you, me, Tyche, and Xiomara. No arguments.”

Arching an eyebrow at her uncharacteristically demanding tone, I glanced over her shoulder. A dark silhouette that rivaled Conor’s height flashed a quick, blinding white grin. I shrugged and looked back to the energetic brunette in front of me. “And when am I supposed to have time for a ladies’ night, Charly?”

“I already talked to Xiomara, who talked to Tyche, who told Alistair to clear your calendar the day after tomorrow. So, tomorrow night, we’re getting cute and going out!”

“Three out of four of those names are in relationships,” I pointed out.

“So? It’s drinks with the girls. I tried to ask Grey, but they don’t want to go.” She dropped her eyes and pouted at my navel before looking back in the direction of my face. “Still. It’s not like we have to be on the hunt for sexy fun times just to go out and have drinks together. It’ll be fun. And you know you love the Undine, you just haven’t had an excuse to go back with everything going on.”

Bacon Bloody Marys… I shook my head vigorously, focusing on the present. “You do realize that Xio, Tyche, and I are probably going to talk about work, right?”

“Duh. Geez, that’s what the booze is for. Complaining about work is enhanced… by the booze.”

I sighed. Ever since she had been released from medical observation, I had learned that saying no to Charly was incredibly difficult. Even Tyche just kind of went along with her in something of a confused daze. I swore, the woman had a superpower – people just agreed with her. The only thing standing between her and Galactic domination was the same low threshold my sister and I shared for being around people.

If she was this eager to go out, to a bar, for a girls’ night, who were we to say no?

“Can I at least take today to think about – “ I tried in vain, only to be cut off.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Girls’ night! Girls’ Night! Ladies’ gonna get druuuuuunk!” she started chanting and dancing in a circle.

Sure enough, the next night saw Tyche fussing over my outfit and hair, gently trying to tousle it into something she obviously understood and I didn’t. Xiomara was laughing hard enough that the only thing saving her from an abrupt, face-first introduction with the floor was the doorway she was leaning against. When I tried to turn my head to scowl at her, Tyche used one very firm fingertip to turn my head back to her. “I’m almost done. Would you just hold still? Sheesh,” she grumbled.

“You know I hate getting dolled up,” I pointed out sulkily.

She ignored me, instead stepping back to look at her handiwork. “I think that will work,” she finally pronounced with a nod.

The mirror she held up made me want to scream. “I look exactly like I did before!” I cried in confusion. “Why did you spend an hour making my hair look exactly the same!?”

With a low growl, she rolled her eyes and shook her head at a now-gasping Xiomara. “Some people just don’t understand,” she sighed dramatically. Glaring at me, she pointed at my hair. “This does not look the same. It looks intentional.”

Xiomara temporarily sobered up enough to contribute her two cents. “Before, you had bed-head. Now, you have sex hair. Big difference.”

“You. Two. Are. Loony,” I ground out. I reached to run a hand through my hair in frustration, only to have Tyche intercept it.

“Don’t you dare. I don’t have time to fix it,” she ordered before dragging me out of my office, my hand still clutched tightly in her grasp. Groaning as loudly as possible in hopes of rescue, I reluctantly allowed myself to be pulled along until we reached the Undine. Once outside, my sister stopped and dropped my hand, giving me one last once-over before seeming content that I hadn’t managed to wreck her painstaking work in the last forty meters.

I was permitted to enter the pub under my own power. Making our way to the back of the space, we found Charly had already claimed a high-top. As soon as we were visible, Coffey gently cupped her jaw in one massive hand and gave her a kiss that was paired with a look that clearly meant Stay out of trouble. Charly just gave him an angelic smile.

Frankly, the odds of that were fifty-fifty. Charly wasn’t reckless – not by a long shot. On the contrary, I had learned in recent weeks that she was usually very quiet and extremely cautious. In absolute, direct conflict with this was an underlying need to play pranks on unsuspecting victims.

Given her usual demeanor, ‘unsuspecting’ was synonymous with ‘everyone on the Ark except Noah and Coffey’. Well, Coffey at least suspected it, but he wasn’t exactly immune to pranks. When I asked her about it once, she just shrugged and told me “Hey, if I’m going to be punished, I may as well deserve it.”

The man in question waved one hand at the three of us before disappearing into the crowd. I honestly had no clue how he did that – he was easily the second tallest human on the ship. More annoyingly, he did it all. The. Damned. Time. It was profoundly frustrating, albeit very impressive. Squashing the sigh I felt bubbling up, I turned back to the table. Tyche and Xiomara were already seated, leaving me a seat across from my sister.

No sooner did I climb onto my seat, than Sebastian came through the crowd with a tray full of drinks. Coconut rum and fruit juice for Tyche, an enormous Bloody Mary for myself, neat whiskey for Xiomara, and eye-catchingly blue something-slushy with a huge wedge of pineapple and an umbrella for Charly. She caught me looking and held it up so I could see it better. “It has alcohol, I swear – blue curacao, cognac, and rum.”

With a skeptic glance, Tyche sniffed the drink and wrinkled her nose. “Sounds like a hangover.”

“Nuh-uh,” Charly retorted. “It sounds like fun!”

Xiomara rolled her eyes before downing her whiskey with a wink at me. “If we’re here to drink, may as well, right?”

An hour and a half later, Sebastian was taking away our most recent set of empty glasses, ducking Tyche’s hand as she gesticulated wildly. She was telling some story to Charly, who had slowly scooted her chair closer and closer. At the moment, she was leaning on the part of the table that was actually in front of my sister, watching and giggling as Tyche enthusiastically flailed and made exaggerated faces. I could not figure out for the life of me what story she was telling, but a few minutes later she tipped her head back with a clap of her hands and a peal of laughter. This sent Charly into a fit of giggles, face down on her arms.

I glanced at Xiomara, who was smiling, but still clearly sober despite her drinks. With a conspiratorial tone, I told her “They are soooo drrrrr… draaa…. dur-rur-rur… Inebriated. Very inebriated.”

Xio stopped mid-sip to arch an eyebrow at me. “You seriously couldn’t get out the word drunk so you went with, of all things, inebriated!?”

Tyche and Charly collapsed into howling laughter at the disbelief in her tone. I just tapped my temple and sat as straight as I possibly could, offended. “Dain bramage, Xio. Loooooots of brain damage.” I ruined my scolding tone by belatedly realizing what I had initially said and snorting with laughter.

That seemed to break the dam to pieces, because I started giggling and could not stop myself no matter how hard I tried. It didn’t help when, just as the giggling started to trickle off, Charly howled “Dain Bramaaaage!” at the top of her lungs and blindly toasted the room with a mostly-empty hurricane glass. The gesture sent the wedge of pineapple on the rim into a tumbling arc…

Right into Xiomara’s whiskey, droplets splashing her face.

I didn’t know whether it was the pineapple or the wet-cat look on Xio’s face, but either way, it was the funniest thing the three of us had ever seen. Soon, Tyche and I were leaning against Charly, fighting for breath against the laughter that was possessing us like minor demons.

“Ha, ha, ha,” Xiomara mock-sneered. “Go ahead, laugh it up. I swear, you three are –“

When she stopped mid-sentence, Tyche popped up like a meerkat. Almost immediately, she was smacking my shoulder and shaking Charly. “Look! Looklooklooklooklook.”

Xiomara was frozen, face slack, mouth half-open with the dying breath of whatever she was about to call us. Her eyes were glued to the entrance of the Undine. I felt two different spots in my neck pop as I snapped my head around to see what she was staring at. At first, all I could see was just an ocean of people getting after-work drinks and socializing… granted, it was a little quieter than I expected, and more people were talking in hushed tones than I remembered from bars back home, but maybe I was just out of touch.

Tyche saved me again by reaching across, grabbing my jaw, and turning my head to face what Xiomara was looking at: a beautiful woman, about my height, with what seemed like miles of thick, black hair, and a stunning blue saree with warm gold and pale green details coming over her shoulder. I could see how she was a show-stopper, honestly, but Xio’s reaction seemed a bit dramatic.

In contrast to this, Charly’s head came up, dislodging Tyche’s hand. “Oh, that’s just Parvati! She’s an artist. I think she told me once she did murals in the Before?”

The statement seemed to snap Xio out of her trance. “What? How do you know her?”

Oblivious to the demanding tone, Charly shrugged. “She works with Hannah a lot. Like, a lot-lot. So I’ve met her a few times. She’s really lovely, honestly. Some of her work is in the database… she did a lot of politically-charged protest art, like this one…what was it called?” She snapped her fingers a few times, lost in thought. “Started with a ‘G’ I think? Refugee something?”

“Refugee Guernica!?” my sister and I demanded at the same time.

“Yeah! That one. The really violent one.”

The piece had been extremely controversial: a hyper-realistic mural of climate refugees, posed to evoke the original Picasso work and gaunt with starvation. That, alone, would have been palatable to the powers-that-were. However… the artist had gone one step further and portrayed what had been livestock in the original work as human beings, feasted upon by the fattened rich. It had also been in true-to-life color, which hadn’t helped soften any blows. Tyche and I had both been breathless the first time we saw an image of it.

“That is the person who did that mural?” Tyche asked, pointing a finger at the woman across the bar.

Charly nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! Parvati Fletcher. Remember? Signed all her murals with a little arrow, fletched with peacock feathers?”

Xiomara’s eyes narrowed. “She did the one decrying the Baconists, didn’t she?”

“Yeah! Animal Farm, the scene where the pigs were adding ‘but some animals are more equal than others’. I don’t know if Parvati has it in her to hate, but the closest I ever saw her come was when she compared Baconists to the rich. She said that the only difference between the two was that Baconists were more honest about wanting annihilate humanity.”

Dark eyes narrowed as Xio flicked open her datapad, summoning data furiously. Abruptly, she relaxed. “I remember this file… We suspected her after what happened on Level One, but Noah confirmed on three separate occasions that she was telling the truth.”

“Duuuuuhhhhhhhhh,” Charly intoned, rolling her eyes comically. “Vati doesn’t argue much, but one thing that will always make her speak is the fact that she only believes that humanity is at its best if everyone is given the opportunity to be their best.”

“That’s… why she’s here, isn’t it?” I asked with dawning comprehension.

“Well, yeah. Why else? You’re here for the same reason, right? You believe in the best in a person, no matter the person, right? Well, she believes in that… It’s like, if you’re a psychologist, she would be a sociologist. She believes in the best in humanity, not just the best in a person.”

Huh. That was a breath of fresh air. I glanced back at Xiomara. She looked lost, and I followed her sight back to the same blue and earth-tone saree, shining dark hair, and a bright white laugh. I glanced back and forth a few times before the realization hit me between the eyes like a sledgehammer. The gaping stare, the quick background check and almost melting relief… “Xio?” I whispered in that special, extra-quiet volume only drunk people can use. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Tell the whole bar, why don’t you?” she grumbled.

“Hey, I’m not judging,” I held my hands up placatingly. “I just…. I had a completely different idea in mind for your type, that’s all. Took me a bit to realize I was so, so wrong.”

“Oh, yeah, peopling-queen?” she smirked. “Do tell, what did you have in mind as ‘my type’?”

“Well, I saw this video once of a lady who broke a pumpkin in half between her thighs…” I gave her a pointed look.

Next to her, Tyche nodded vigorously. “And more sharp objects. We both thought your affections could only be won by someone who could best you in single combat.”

Charly scowled. “There are more types of combat than fighting, you two. I bet Parvati has incited more political uprisings than any four people at this table.” My brows furrowed and I opened my mouth to say something, but Charly rolled her eyes again and cut me off. “Yes, Sophia. I am aware there are only four people at this table. That’s the point.”

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#the miys #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #aliens #science fiction #original sci fi #apocalypse #alcohol #art #earth is space australia #original fiction

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mattski · 4 years ago

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The Accidental Teachers

Hi!

Welcome back to my blog. I’ve had a lot to reflect on since the last one which was rather maudlin in its nature and as much as that issue has not been resolved I thought I would talk about something more positive.

I have found in life that there are people who without plan, become teachers and mentors to you and that you learn so much from them without them actually meaning too. Their honour, strength of character and patience teach you in ways you did not know you needed but learn lessons of life that are so valuable and meaningful.

I have been blessed in life to have two mentors such as this. To keep them anonymous I will call them Peyton and Cara.

I met Peyton a long time ago online. I was friends with Peytons sister and through her became friends with Peyton. The part that is relevant to this story is that Peyton is homosexual. When I first met Peyton, I did not trust or like homosexuals at all. I’ll own it as it’s the truth. Before you yell and scream homophobe at me, let me give you some background. In 1986 my parents split up. My mother left us for another woman. They met through me and I was blamed for that. At 12 it was an impossibly hard cross to bear that scars me to this day. At school I kept it very quiet. The other woman’s son went to my school and we were friends, but I became completely insular and did not want to speak to anyone. I was terrified of everyone. if my mother could up and leave, then anyone could. Word got out and I was given a ton of crap, Remember, this was 1986, not 2020 and kids can be fucking horrible when they want. So I copped it and copped it bad. I became angrier and more spiteful. I hated my mother and I hated her new partner more than I hated anyone before or since. The partner was manipulative and my mother gullible so the partner would not allow my mother to put my brother and I first and my mother too weak to make an effort. So my mother and her partner bought gifts for the partners two children, new bikes and clothes. I got hand me downs from my only male cousin until I could see through them. As a result, I became viciously disliking of homosexuals. I never voiced anything as I am quite reserved but the rage was very real, like the rest of my life, my blood boiling in contained rage and anger.

But I digress, as I said I met Peyton onilne and she was very open about her lifestyle. I too was very open about my viewpoint! She said that all homosexuals aren’t like that and she’ll prove it. Oh yeah I though, more bullshit and more chance to be let down and hurt by someone. The walls went up. But Peyton through patience and just being herself, slowing began to get the wall down and I thought, you know what, I might be wrong here. Through her love and care, she broke through to me and I realised that my attitude was wrong and it was wrong to blame all homosexuals for my mothers sin. As far as she went, my rage with her was because of her and her partner, not their lifestyle choice, that was irrelevant to the situation. I had weak brained mother and she met a manipulative cretin. A predator will find their prey. I believe that and I believe it to the be case here. But it was only because of Peyton and her patience with me. We are still friends today and I love chatting to her and sharing our lives. We both like boobs.. so we talk about boobs! How cool is that LOL. I also fully trust her and listen to her when she speaks. She is, without her knowing, a patient and wise mentor for which I am eternally grateful for knowing.

Cara is a work colleague. Cara is indigenous. I had met a few indigenous people here and there, I didn’t avoid indigenous people, but I didn’t seek them out either. In my defence, I really actively seek specific people out anyway. I wont play some virtue signalling game with a checklist. That’s just dumb in my book. So I lived in ignorance. When I first met her, she was quiet and a bit reserved, as I was and I was, admittedly, a bit cautious with speaking to her as I didn’t want to cause offence at the drop of a hat. It would never work out well for me and best to just avoid that all together. Like Peyton though, time showed me that Cara was a wonderful person, who was honest about her Aboriginality and her culture without bashing me over the head or lecturing. To wit, Cara spoke TO me, not AT me. Turned out we have a shared history which I won’t go into here, but it was very cool and one of the things that cemented our friendship. From Cara I learned that indigenous people are just like me really, just want to live their lives with their families and enjoy what life has to offer. If I had questions about her culture, she was cool enough to talk to me about it and I found her answers and explanations fascinating and I learned a lot. More than I would have in a formal learning environment.. WITHOUT the guilt trip included lol. Cara has shown through her character how amazing she is, by simply being herself, a trait I admire immensely. I admire her sense of honour and her forthright nature and she has no qualms in telling me when I fuck up don’t worry lol. She also has a wonderful sense of humour and most of our conversations have a laugh involved and we have great banter where we wind each other up and have a laugh about it. Cara, if you read this, yes you still have the card and that will always beat me!!!!

So if you were to ask me, dear reader, why am I friends with Peyton and Cara I would tell you straight up, because they are awesome human beings. Because of these two wonderful people, my life is wiser and richer for it and for that I will be ever grateful for their friendship.

To Peyton and Cara I say thank you so much for your wisdom, patience and genuine care for me. Thank you for enriching my life and being part of it and without you trying or knowing, being wonderful teachers and mentors to me. I can see you both blushing at the thought or downplaying it but please don’t, as I mean it. I am not only grateful for the lessons. you gave me, but for you both being just you.

This has been a long one, but I had a lot to say and I could talk all day about these wonderful people, but thank you for hearing me out and peaking inside the chaos between my ears.

#lgbt #indigenous #friends #mentors #teachers #gratitude

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shawnsorangeglasses · 5 years ago

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Better Conversations - Part 7

3.3k words

very special thank you to @rulerofnocountry and @sauveteen for their input and comments on my google doc. they played a very big part in how this came out so they get writing credit. check out their blogs.

Synopsis: Another assistant AU, you’ve known Shawn since the beginning but you don’t really become friends until a label party in New York. Then he offers you a job as his assistant.

It’s sightseeing day and (Y/N) gets an unexpected visitor in the middle of all the fun.

warnings: none, mostly cute

...

It’s still dark when (Y/N) wakes up, surrounded by warmth. Shawn has sort of rolled onto her in the middle of the night. His heavy arm drapes over her body. She carefully craned her neck over to see his leg crossed over her ankles as well. Her nose is dangerously close to his collarbone. Must be hard sleeping alone all the time, she thinks to herself. She knows the feeling well enough, as many times as she’s fallen asleep by herself in her lofty New York apartment.

As nice as it feels to be wrapped up in another person, (Y/N) knows she has to move before he wakes up. She starts with the ankles, slipping out easily. Shawn doesn’t seem to notice. She takes a deep breath and prepares to move his arm. A sudden and sharp inhale from his nose makes her recoil. He says something incoherent and mumbly in his sleep. (Y/N) eases out of his grasp and onto the floor with a soft thud.

She starts moving things around that don’t need to be moved. Nothing about this looks good. Should someone walk in, they’d be a great deal of trouble.

Just her luck, somebody knocks on the door.

“Housekeeping,” says the other side of the door.

(Y/N) closes her robe and cinches her waist. She tiptoes over to the door and opens it. A tiny and very friendly cleaning lady greets her. (Y/N) knows the woman isn’t there to judge her, but it still feels that way.

“Hi, uhm. Could you come back in, like, an hour?”

“Sure, darling,” says the cleaning lady and she pushes her cart further down the hall to the next room. (Y/N) breathes a sigh of relief and shuts the door as quietly as she can.

“Who was that?”

(Y/N) jumps a few inches into the air and slams her body into the door. Shawn takes a cautious step back. “Fuck, Shawn.”

“Sorry,” he says, covering up his laugh. “I didn’t think I’d scare you.”

Shawn turns back around into the room. (Y/N) doesn’t bother trying to stop herself from staring. No one should look so perfect in the morning. He only had on his shorts, and while she’s seen him shirtless many times before now, it feels different now that he’s the only other person in her hotel room. Anything could happen if they both wanted. Not that it will. Or should. But it could. And that's the problem.

“It was housekeeping,” she says, walking past him. “We have to go. I only asked for an hour.”

"Hey, do you remember if I brought my phone in here last night? I can't find it."

"No," she says, tense and on edge. "Why would I remember that? I don't remember anything."

Shawn pauses to look at her. "Are you good?"

"Yeah, great," (Y/N) squeaks. "Never better."

"Okay," he nods. "If you say so."

And then he gives her a smile. The everything-will-be-alright smile. That smile that almost everybody falls in love with. (Y/N) scurries past him into the bathroom, locking it behind her. Her heart races a mile a minute. She doesn't come back out until she hears his door open and close.

…

"Look, (Y/N)," Shawn holds up a zany frog toy and his phone camera, aiming for her on the other side of the room. "It's you."

He was poking fun for her jumpiness earlier today. (Y/N) looks around the old shop they wandered into. She spots a dopey-looking deer plushie among other cute woodland creature toys in a basket. "And this is you."

After an audible laugh, Shawn uploads the video to his story. Seconds later, (Y/N) gets the notification on her phone. Another side of her for the internet to see. Not that she minded. He has a way of catching her off guard and making it look good.

It's been a few hours out and about in Surrey, and Shawn still hasn't said a word about last night. Even in this lovely little trinket shop on the bustling streets of this small English town, (Y/N) couldn't bring herself to think about anything else. It’s become a mental chore rationalizing her feelings each time they grow stronger, wanting so badly to be better than her heart. For a while, she was good at it, and can easily bring herself back down to earth. Other times she just has to sit in the emotions until they fade.

Shawn, of course was asleep when (Y/N) woke up entangled in him. So, he thinks nothing of it and continues to do cute things, like pointing at random objects and saying dumb things like "it's you." He's not thinking that hard about it. He just knows he enjoys being near her.

Fans linger at a safe distance in small, huddled in groups outside just about every establishment they visit. Shawn already stopped to take pictures with the first wave of young girls and women. (Y/N) realizes that this new group is all fresh faces and lets him know. They all screech and wave when she points them out through a window.

"Can you come with me? Sometimes they have gifts."

(Y/N) follows him out to the sidewalk and the excitement grows. A lot of them are recording. Cameras don't bother (Y/N) anymore. Shawn's supporters are more often than not very respectful to her in public. Every time she attempts to stay in the background, they graciously call her name and want to shake her hand and thank her for helping Shawn remember things.

This is a lively bunch today, but they're more than willing to take direction. Roughly three gifts were exchanged, thankfully all small sturdy things in boxes that (Y/N) could store in her tote for the rest of the day. A few hugs and happy tears later, Shawn opts to take a group photo with everyone. He hands (Y/N) a fluffy, blue phone to take the picture.

"Okay guys, say cheese."

The shutter clicks and Shawn stands up. "Everybody say thank you (Y/N)!"

They sound like a preschool class when they say it all together. (Y/N) gives Shawn a stern, but playful look. He bumps his shoulder into hers, grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re all very welcome.”

Jake steps in and politely asks everyone for some space. Shawn is still of course signing things and making light conversation. (Y/N) steps aside to check her phone again for any updates from Andrew or Cez. It’s then that a very small hand taps her on the forearm. She looks down and the smallest little boy that she’s seen so far this tour is standing there, waving at her. Several of his front teeth are missing. Another young girl, probably a teenager rushes to his side.

“I’m sorry, this is my little brother,” she says in a thick English accent. “He just wants a picture.”

“With me?”

The little boy nods eagerly. (Y/N) looks over at Shawn, who is also nodding.

“O-Okay, yeah that’s fine.” (Y/N) kneels down to him, as he’s only about three feet tall. “What’s your name?”

“Georgie,” he says quietly.

“It’s very nice to meet you Georgie, I’m (Y/N). Can I shake your hand?”

Georgie extends his miniature hand and rests it in hers. (Y/N) can see out of the corner of her eye Shawn logging the entire moment onto his phone. Georgie’s big sister takes the picture and she walks him back into the crowd. Just as quickly as he ran up to her, they were gone. (Y/N) stands there, heart swelled and in awe of what just happened. Shawn jogs to her side, still looking back and waving to everyone.

“That was fucking adorable,” he says into her ear.

“I know,” she whispers back. “You got video of it?”

Shawn replays the twenty-two seconds on his screen for her. Georgie is even cuter the second time. And the third.

"I'm going to melt. He's so cute."

The touring party has moved ahead to the end of the street, right at the crosswalk. The band, Brian, Andrew, and Cez were all waiting behind for them to catch up. (Y/N) reaches into her bag for a water bottle just as Shawn starts to ask for one. He gingerly takes it from her hand. She pats him on the back.

“Let’s not keep everybody waiting.”

A few more blocks and they reach 2nd street. There’s less young people around, which allows the adrenaline to wear off. (Y/N) opens the map on her phone to find the next stop.

“We’re coming up on the next place,” she tells Shawn. “I think you’ll like this one.”

“Is it food?”

“Uh, I think it’s close to food— hang on a second, we just ate like and hour ago.”

Shawn shrugs. “I walked it off?”

(Y/N) sighs. “Alright, well there’s a fish and chips place right across the street from it, so you’re in luck.”

Shawn does a mini celebration dance mid-step. (Y/N)'s phone makes a sad little chirp to let her know it’s dying. She closes every app she’s opened since the start of the walk. Before she can press the power button, a call comes in. The number is unknown, but she accepts it anyways. It could be someone important.

“Hello?”

“Hey, beautiful.”

(Y/N) stops walking and her blood gets hot. "Jason?"

Shawn stops too, once he hears the name. (Y/N) eyes meet his eyes briefly, then go back to the sidewalk. She doesn't need him worrying.

"Why are you calling me?"

"I got a surprise for you. Turn around."

She does, but sees no one and nothing out of the ordinary. "What the fuck am I supposed to be seeing, Jason?"

A figure halfway down the street waves at her. His ball cap obscures his face, but she knows those high end slacks anywhere.

"Okay, hang on," she says and hangs up abruptly. She slides the tote off her shoulder. "Shawn take this, I'll be right back."

"You don't have to go talk to him," he assures her. "Let's just keep walking."

"No, I have to. He doesn't know when to quit. I only need a few minutes, maybe five."

"Do you want me to come with you? Or Jake?"

"No. If Jason tries to start something, you'll get in the middle of it and someone will take a picture or video and that's the last thing we need."

Shawn looks for Jason past the sea of tourists. He's actually standing there like he doesn't have all day to wait around. If only (Y/N) would let him join her, he'd feel a lot better about her having to talk to this asshole. The longer he glares, the more motivated his feet are to walk down there himself. But her small hands on his chest pull him back into reality.

"Just go to the record store— surprise it's a record store— then take everyone to the fish and chips spot. I'll be back."

Shawn's face twists into a worried expression. "I really think it's best if Jake goes with you at least."

"Then who’s going to protect you?"

"I've got Brian and we can run if we need to."

(Y/N) looks over at Brian, who kindly salutes her. Jake comes up to take her tote and his place by her side. These men were not about to let her face anyone alone if it can be helped and she is all the more grateful to have them.

"Five minutes," she tells Shawn. "Then call me. If I don't answer, call the cops. I think it's 999 here."

“It’s not gonna come to that.” Shawn squeezes her hand, then looks at Jake, “Don’t let it come to that please.”

“I got her, don’t worry,” says Jake.

Shawn’s hesitant to let go, but he does eventually pry his hands from hers. She starts off in the opposite direction they came, Jake tailing close behind.

(Y/N) checks her emotions, but they seem to be on autopilot. The whole point of quitting the firm was to be as far away from her old life as possible. Jason showing up out of nowhere, unannounced and uninvited ignites a fire in her chest. Every cell in her body trembles so much so that she has to clench her fists just to focus on walking.

Jason’s sat at an outside a small cafe’s dining table when she approaches. “A bodyguard? Seriously?”

“His name is Jake. He’s friendly as long as you are.”

“What took you so long,” he sneers. “New boyfriend wouldn’t let you go so easy?”

“There is nothing between Shawn and me but a professional, working relationship. Wish I could’ve said the same for us.”

“Are you really blaming me for your having to quit?”

“No, Jason.” She sits across from him. “In fact, not everything revolves around you. Other opportunities came and I needed a change of pace. Now I’ve got friends like Jake who have my back and I have theirs.”

“(Y/N) I didn’t come here to make trouble. I simply want to make an offer.”

She folds her arms across her chest. “Give it your best shot.”

“I know this job can’t be paying you that much and you must be homesick. So I pulled some strings and got a position open for you. You’d be making twice as much as you did as my assistant.”

"This position requires that I still work under you though, doesn’t it,” she asks.

“Y-Yes, but it comes with several perks. Perks you didn’t get before.”

(Y/N) rolls her eyes, “Tantalizing.”

Jason sits back in his chair. “Alright, what’s it going to take for you to come back?” There’s an air of desperation in his words.

A wry smile plays on (Y/N)’s lips. “You’re falling apart back there, aren’t you?”

Jason finally shuts up. She glances at his hands, stiff in his lap. He’s nervous, and for the first time in all the hours they spent together, he is truly the one at her mercy. (Y/N) examines him carefully. The severe bags under his eyes. The bitter frown pushing on his laugh lines. The wrinkles in his clothes. He came here on impulse to try and get her back. A less informed person might think it's vulnerable, but anyone who knows Jason is well aware of how few and far between he does for others out of the kindness of his heart. He has an angle, and (Y/N) can't be bothered to figure out what it is.

“Jason, I’m happy where I’m at. No, it’s not six figures, but it’s about more than money for me. I’m done with fighting for my life.”

“Just consider what you’re doing here, (Y/N).”

“I’ve had two months to consider. My mind was made up when I left. You have to know that.”

(Y/N) rises from her seat and turns to leave with Jake. Jason rushes out of his seat and steps in front of her. Jake instantly moves a dense arm between them, glaring at Jason.

“I have to get back to work, Jason,” (Y/N) heaves. “I only asked for five minutes and we have a bit of a walk now.”

“I’m just telling you, you’re making a mistake. You will regret this.”

It's probably the most blatant threat to ever fall out of his mouth and it makes her stomach churn. Still, she doesn’t give him another word or second of her time. Jake leads them away from the cafe. There's no need for her to look back to know that Jason’s fuming. She can feel the heat of his stare burning the back of her neck.

She’s leading Jake after a while, until they find the record store. Shawn’s still milling around in the rock section with Brian and Andrew. (Y/N) taps the window with her fingernails prompting Shawn to look up. His face brightens like a Christmas tree and he bounds to the exit in two large strides. He catches (Y/N) in a bear hug on the steps of the shop, just barely lifting her off the ground.

“Holy shit, you’re okay.”

“You sent Jake with me,” she giggled. “Nothing was going to happen.”

“I was still losing it. Brian had to talk me down a couple times.”

“He turned us around twice,” Brian says over his shoulder.

"That explains why you guys didn't get too far."

Shawn takes her over to the window. It’s probably the coziest corner of the room, leaving very little space between their bodies. He’s practically hunching over to look her in the eye. Passersby on the other side of the windowpane don’t pay them any mind, but (Y/N)’s body is still so hot all over.

“What did he want,” he asks, hushed and mindful of the space they occupied.

“He had a new job offer for me. More money, stuff like that.”

“Oh...”

“I said no, Shawn.” She bites her lip. “You can relax.”

“Oh! I knew that.”

"Yeah, sure you did."

"Hey you two," Andrew says. "Are we eating today or tomorrow?"

(Y/N) makes unnecessary adjustments to her clothes, tucking her shirt further into her shorts. Shawn pushes back his already tidy hair. They each exchange an awkward smile.

"Shall we," she says to him. He files behind her and the party and out of the record store.

The eatery is near full when they happen upon it. It’s a quaint little shop with specific memorabilia all over the walls and a washed out blue color scheme for the old decor. Surrey natives of all kinds are inside. The staff, though a little hard on the outside, are more than amiable. They even help push a couple of tables and chairs over to a booth to seat everybody.

"You know they're being extra nice because you walked in," (Y/N) nudges Shawn. He looks over at the two female cashiers, sending them into a giggling fit.

"You think?"

"Don't play dumb. We've already established how cute you are."

"I know. Just love hearing you say it."

(Y/N) doesn’t fire back with one of her usual quips and slumps back into the booth. Usually, she sat up straight and attentive to everyone else. All the glow and spirit she started the day with seemed to be sucked out of her. Shawn scoots in next to her, hoping to transfer some of his positive energy with mere proximity. If it were up to him, they would have kept walking when Jason showed up, but it wasn't his decision to make for her. Everybody else is preoccupied with much louder conversations at the crowded table. He moves in close, not necessarily facing in her direction, and taps her forearm.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?

She simply bites her lip and nods silently. Jason must have done something wrong or said something wrong. Shawn knows it isn’t any of his business and she clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. On the seat of her chair is her very fidgety hand, picking away at it’s weathered paint job.

He moves his hand down onto his thigh, daring to get so close in the middle of this much company. No one else can see their side of the table as far as he knows. Furthering himself into the gap that separates them, he stops when his pinky finger can link with hers. He gives it a tight squeeze and she returns the pressure. Her face remains expressionless, as if all the emotion has been redirected to her hand. She's okay is what this tells him, but he holds on for the rest of lunch anyway.

...

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#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes imagine #better conversations

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runfast-runfar · 5 years ago

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A little update.

Hey guys (or anyone who still checks this blog lol)

2.27.2020

I have been pretty MIA lately because a lot has been going on, but I figured a quick update was due.

- I’m in my last semester at my college before transferring next year. I got in to my top choice school last week so I know where I will be going, which is amazing, rationally I know that, but I am terrified and sad and just really low about leaving my community college I am at. I have THE best support system here, friends, and a couple teachers whom I LOVE. So it’s been hard.

- My cat thea is sick, and that has been unbearably difficult. She began vomiting back in december once a week or so, and it escalated to her vomiting multiple times a day, unable to keep food down. After 5 vet visits, and about $1,200 of testing, she most likely has GI lymphoma. They are currently basing that diagnosis on intestinal markers and an enlarged GI tract, but those could also be indicators of FIP, which would be a much more grim diagnosis. I never thought I’d say “so here’s hoping she ~just~ has lymphoma...” and yet, here we are. An ultrasound and a second set of GI markers are on the book to solidify the speculations of her potential diagnosis’, but it’s been really, really hard.

- I have to give away all her food since she’s now on a very strict, special diet, and then she can’t play with any toys that have feathers or small parts she could swallow bc she can’t be operated on while taking prednisone for the lymphoma, so I brought two bags of food and toys for a teacher of mine who has a cat who said she could take that stuff off my hands for me. She was incredibly sweet and said she’ll keep the toys and if/when I ever want or need any back either for thea herself if she goes into remission, or if worst comes to worst and she’s not around but I want something of hers, she’ll have it all.

- Last thursday I was doing laundry and bent over to grab some clothes and did something to my back: either pinched a nerve or pulled a muscle, or caused a back spasm, and so I was in bed unable to move for two days. I literally had to crawl to the bathroom (lol a low moment for me hah), it got a bit better, then got worse on monday/tuesday, and today is a bit better. I currently have a heating pad on my back at school which helps. That was just the cherry on top of an EXTREMELY shitty month.

- The only semi good news I feel like I’ve gotten this year so far is my brother had his most recent MRI and it showed the soft tissue mass in his brain is still not malignant. It did change in width slightly but that news could have been worse. Definitely could have been better, but thinking on the bright side here.

- I know there’s a lot of good in the world and that despite the hard, I have a lot to be grateful and thankful for, but finding that lately has been a challenge. Especially because my brother and Thea are my two favorite “things” in the world. My brother’s health is okay, I mean he’s not dying, but we are cautious that having any sort of growth is dangerous, and has caused him problems before so could again. But thea, no matter what she her final diagnosis is: whether it is lymphoma or FIP both aren’t curable. FIP would be the worse of the two, but both have roads to expiration dates she’d be facing. And that kills me. I have never had a cat like her. I know everyone says that, “my cat is so special...” but she is. She is more of a dog. She greets me at the door everyday. She sleeps snuggled up next to my face every night. She goes on walks around the neighborhood with me on her leash. She watches movies cuddled up in my lap with me... she is my shadow. I literally can’t even go to the bathroom without her following one step behind me. I love her honestly more than any human. And it kills me that I may have only gotten to get 2.5 years with her.

But I am trying to stay in the moment with her, give her all the love and care I can, and make sure she knows how insanely loved she is.

#sorry this is a depressing update #but it is what it is #and that is okay #I mean it's not #but it will be okay eventually #college #transfer #history major #life #Thea #my pet #my whole world #love that princess more than life itself #vegan

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thatsdemko · 5 years ago

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☆Therapy ☆-J.Norris

CHAPTER TWO

A/N: if you ever miss a chapter and can’t find it under my blog I’m going to use the hashtag “thatsdemkotjn” (at least for me I hate when I start reading a series and can’t find the next chapter and have to scroll through someone’s blog for hours on end so this just makes it easier) hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Josh barely even wanted to roll out of bed when he heard his alarm that Tuesday morning. The only thing that made him have to absolutely get up is when his mother came in his bedroom demanding him to sit up so she could help him get dressed. He laid there for another moment before he heard the door open and his mother flicked on his lights, “you can’t be late today your partner will be upset.” She said opening up how drawers as josh sat up with a sigh, “I don’t get why I couldn’t have gone to a normal therapy?” He asked, it wasn’t like he didn’t like Megan, but it was that he was not keen on the idea of having to have someone else witness him nearly cry in pain.

“Honey, do you want to play hockey again?” His mother ask completely ignoring her sons statement as he sighed while she threw the shirt over his head and he was able to get his free arm in and carefully get his other arm in making a face in pain. “Yeah I do, but—“

“No more excuses. we are leaving in twenty minutes go eat breakfast, please.”

—

“Megsies! Megsies! Look!” Her little sister cheered as Megan watched her do a backbend while she ate breakfast, “very nice, lils.” She smiled as her little sister did one more before her mother told her to go upstairs and get ready for school. “Are you ready for therapy?” She asked her daughter, ever since Megan was told she’d have to live off campus for a bit the colors were nearly sucked out of her and her mother watched her countless of weeks fall into a bit of a depressed stage, and it didn’t help that the doctor told her she may never play the way she did before.

“As ready as I can be.” Megan sighed deciding she had enough cereal as her mother pressed a kiss on her daughters cheek before taking the bowl from her, “just be the positive girl I know, okay? It’s been hard not seeing that from you.” Her mother said rinsing out her bowl. Her parents usually rode off of Megan’s spirit and calmness, but ever since she got hit with the news of an injury she just wasn’t the same, and they all understood that. That night while she was in the hospital her parents had gone home to tell everyone what had happened, her brother from out of state even came to visit her which he never did anymore.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered seeing her dad come down the stairs with a big smile on his face, “ready, megs?” He asked clapping his hands and she sighed grabbing her phone getting up from the table, “be careful, sweetie.” Her mother said as Megan just walked out the house not even saying a word. It broke her mother’s heart usually Megan was full of words, but the words seemed to have left when everything happened.

—

“Are you both ready?!” Josh and Megan’s therapist cheered as they made their way into the room together and josh kept constantly checking his watch like as if a good amount of time was going to pass since their walk from the waiting room to the therapy room would change.

“Come on, all the others were very excited to get moving? What’s up with you two?” The doctor asked as they both stood there silent together and the doctors smile became a softer one moving closer to the two, “you better prove to me that I didn’t make a mistake putting you both together, alright?” He asked and they nodded their heads as one of the ladies took them both instructing to sit down together, “I’ve never wanted to leave more in my life.” Josh mumbled as Megan nodded her head in agreement, “lecture hall is better than this.” She said and he laughed, “I would agree and I barely show.” He smiled at her and she gave him one back.

The therapist explained to them what they would be doing and the way they would know if they could move on is the level of discomfort, “I would like to know how high you both can lift your arm up without feeling any pain.” She said pointing to josh first as he lifted his arm as it seemed to barely leave where it was originally positioned, “and that’s as high as you can go without pain?” She asked and he nodded his head before putting his arm down and Megan did almost the same amount lowering it once she felt the pain.

“So josh you’re going to go do some evaluations, and I’ll work with Megan and then you both will flip.” She cheered and josh got up, “have fun,” Megan said and josh scoffed cracking a smile to her as he left the room following another therapist as Megan sat there waiting to be instructed to do something.

“He’s cute, isn’t he?” She asked picking her head up from the clipboard and Megan didn’t really know what to say. Sure, she thought he was cute until he decided to get cocky and all her small crush feelings seemed to go away because of the way he acted. But if he never opened his mouth in that way, Megan would agree.

“I guess,” Megan said as she set the clipboard now laying Megan down, “how did you get hurt?” She asked starting to massage around the stitched area as Megan sighed closing her eyes.

“I’ve got double!” Megan shouted running down the field double teaming with another teammate trying to block out the other teams player from getting into their defensive end as the ball fell out of the girls pocket and Megan dug to pick it up sprinting towards goal as a girl went to stick check as Megan moved her stick out of the way and the girl wacked her shoulder causing Megan to lose control of the ball as she went to dig for it again and got shoved out of the way bouncing on her shoulder funny hearing a noise she wished she never heard as her shoulder then locked.

“Lacrosse, I lost control of the ball got shoved and fell funny.” Megan summed up the story opening her eyes now feeling as she was done and Megan sat up again as josh came in, “everything will go back to as normal as it should. I promise.”

—

Josh arrived on campus that afternoon getting the okay to be on his own, but still have his mother be on campus three times a week when needed and Megan got the same grant.

“You’re home!” Quinn cheered as josh walked in the dorm with his mother as Quinn rushed to hold open the door so josh’s mother could walk in with all of josh’s clothes and such, “yeah I get to be back on campus.” He smiled as Quinn went to help josh’s mother sort his clothes in his room. Josh hadn’t been in the dorm since before he left for world juniors, and he was delighted to be back and away from his family.

“Alright, Josh, everything is in there if you need me you call me, okay?” His mother gave him a sincere look and he nodded his head understanding the importance of his mother’s presence to help him get better, “I will if I need to.” He flashed a smile as she nodded her head saying her goodbye to Quinn as she walked out the door.

“So what’s been up with you?” Quinn asked as they walked into their living room and josh sat down on one end of the couch as Quinn sat on the other, “just therapy like three times a week, what about you?”

“Not much practice has been kind of boring without you, we leave for New York in a few weeks. Are you coming?” He asked, josh knew the boys were heading to New York and he was excited for the trip when he could play, but now since he couldn’t and his schedule was filled with therapy almost everyday he couldn’t.

“I can’t, I wish, but I can’t.”

Quinn frowned, “that’s okay, man, just wish for you to get better that’s all.”

On the other end of campus Megan was settling back in with her teammate, Jenna.

“There’s been so much drama on the team lately about who is going to fill your shoes in for middie, plus everyone is freaking out about the upcoming date dance the lax boys are having, are you going?” Jenna rambled on as Megan laid down in her bed, it wasn’t like she was gone for long, but so much had happened in the matter of time of her departure to now her arrival.

“I didn’t know there was a date dance, I don’t even have a date? When is it?” Megan sighed pulling out her phone going to check her calendar as Jenna got up off her bed looking at her monthly calendar filled with dates with her boyfriend, games, parties, etc. “this Saturday.” She turned to Megan and she saw the day was available with a smile she put it in, “okay, I’ll be there I just don’t have a date.”

Jenna shook her head, “you’re a pretty girl just go into your premed class and ask all the guys, whoever says yes you take.”

Megan rolled her eyes laying down carefully, “I don’t know, I might not go I’ll just go home that day.” She said with a slight change of voice almost unwanted. Megan loved being home, but hated being stuck at home because her mother was too cautious that Megan could slip on grass or something.

“Ew you’ve been home for like two weeks! Have some freedom from your parents! You’ll be my second date because I’m taking my boyfriend, but you’re coming with me and we are going to get drunk and have fun because ever since your little injury you’ve not wanted to do that! So we are going to!” Jenna demanded as Megan sighed. Jenna was also as high spirit as Megan and that’s why they got along so well, the minute they met each other they clicked and ever since then they have been inseparable.

“Okay, only to have drinks not to be some extra.” She jokingly rolled her eyes as Jenna sat down on Megan’s bed, “have you met any cute guys at therapy? Some doctors are so fine, megs, I’m telling you.”

“No I haven’t, but I met Josh Norris.” Megan said seeing Jenna’s eyes widen and she squealed clapping her hands practically jumping on Megan’s bed while still sitting there, “oh my god, that’s even better than meeting a doctor! He’s so cute, megs, if I wasn’t in a relationship I would hop on that body of his! Have you seen his body?!” Jenna gushed pulling out her phone going right to josh’s Instagram to find a picture to show Megan.

“Jen, you said you’d jump on Will Lockwood’s body last week, has your boyfriend not been meeting your needs at all?” Megan asked jokingly with a fake scoff as Jenna shook her head zooming in on the photo of josh shirtless, “tell me you wouldn’t want that body?!” She giggled as Megan shook her head, sure he had a nice body and she wasn’t going to lie she did feel the gush, but nothing like Jenna did.

“It’s nice, but I wouldn’t jump on to him if I got the opportunity.” Megan said as Jenna paused from showing her another picture setting her phone down grabbing a hold of Megan’s shoulder that wasn’t in a sling, “Megan Jones, if Joshua Norris ever asks you out, friends or not, you say yes for me please because you have not had a boyfriend since your freshman year of high school according to your drunk self. Besides, you’ve been so lonely lately since this happened, please? I’m not asking you to take him to the party, but I’m asking if he ever asks you out just consider it? Maybe?” She asked getting off Megan’s bed now going onto hers and she nodded her head. She loved Jenna for always caring for her, when Megan had gotten injured before the ambulance arrived Jenna stayed with her trying to calm her down. She was somebody Megan always turned to in hard times, but this time she felt like pushing everyone away so she could do this herself.

“Jen, I love you for caring, but I can do this on my own.” She said trying to sound as determined as possible. Although it had been hard for her to try and do this, she had the support of her family, teammates, and coaches, but when life really struck her down for these past couple of weeks, Megan could’ve used someone to hold her to try and pull her together. She wasn’t asking for it to be a guy, but she was asking for someone that wasn’t her mother.

“You say that, but for some reason I don’t believe you.”

#hockey imagines #hockey #josh norris #j.norris #thatsdemkotjn #quinn hughes

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daesungindistress · 5 years ago

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A message I received today (she wanted it published):

“Hi! I was browsing the bigbang tag here when i found your account and I had a pretty interesting evening reading your blog! Imagine my surprise when I found out you were the RcA of carnivores...... i was surprised then not at all because I remember writing you a monstrously long review then you replying me with an even longer reply XD In that spirit, I shall give my 2 cents

i saw your various posts about seungrigate, in particular the hyungline's prophecizing abilities. To preface this, I don't support Seungri and I'm not a OT5 stan but I think these videos, while chilling to watch in the aftermath of seungrigate events, have become overblown in some sort of Bigbang history revisionism

The truth is, if GD really thought Seungri was going to go to jail, or had any side illegal activities, he definitely wouldn't have aired his views in front of cameras, in a DVD recording available to everyone. Similar reasoning to every other incidence of 'prophecizing' the hyungs did. If the hyungs really suspected Seungri's club was out drugging and raping women, the stupidest way to have resolved it would have been to take it to TV. Not to mention how suddenly chilling it is if the hyungs actually did know and were complicit in the crimes, which I feel like a lot of these prophecy video retweeters don't consider.

At best, they thought (and I too thought at that time) that Seungri was maybe making bad money decisions, Lee Sangmin style.

I think its comforting to think the signs were always there, that the hyungs warned him but he didn't listen, that their relationships were fraught because of the whole Seungri never eats with us memes, that he was never a good person and he showed it all along but the fans shoved their head under the sand. But to characterize him as a 2D villain so that we don't have to struggle to reconcile the person we idolized before, and the crimes he's accused of now is only a disservice to us.

Seungri wasn't the only one who skipped out on dinners- TOP had that habit before Seungri, and i think it was even mentioned in Healing Camp (the whole gold medal thing). Seungri did like and love his hyungs unless he was the world's best actor. He talked Jiyong through things in 2009 when Jiyong read the comments asking him to comment suicide and cried on phone. He cried on Jiyong for 20 minutes in 2012 because he was disappointed in a hyung he idolized letting him down with the marijuana scandal. He texted Daesung within one minute on that Japanese show when he said he needed help, and cheered him up when he was dying of nerves before his concert. He saved Todae from getting hit by fireworks in Malaysia by physically hauling them away. When TOP was represented by a tower in variety shows, Seungri blatantly mentioned his name in Radio Star when everyone pretended he didn't exist. The kid we knew existed. It's just that there was another, more insidious side to him too. This is NOT a defence of Seungri, I just think there's been a lot of revisionism going on lately, about his character and his relationship with the band. Seungri is a shitty criminal, but sadly a criminal who did love his hyungs and fans in some way. Not everything that happened in the last 12 years is fake.

i remember feeling very grateful when Seungri showed up in Act 3 Motte and hugged Jiyong and Jiyong smiled for the first time in that whole damn tour. Jiyong loved that boy, and mentioned he was family to him so many times. Jiyong was the most attached to Seungri IMO (I guess since they were roommates back then and all), but Taeyang called him up in the military when he only had one call, forgoing his own damn wife. I think, the truly heartbreaking thing about this, is that Seungri was loved by his hyungs, and he did love his hyungs too.”

***

Do you know how many asks it would have taken to get this message to me had you gone that route after all? LOL, alright, here’s my reply (some of which will be behind a cut to save y’all’s dashboards). I’ll quote the parts I want to address in italics.

“The truth is, if GD really thought Seungri was going to go to jail, or had any side illegal activities, he definitely wouldn't have aired his views in front of cameras, in a DVD recording available to everyone.”

That's what we all thought too... and that's why we didn't take any of it seriously and casually wrote most of it off as jokes, bullying, teasing, playing, etc. And while I'm sure it was that in a way, at least in part, you know what they say: there's a grain of truth in every joke (or "a little bit of truth behind every 'just kidding'").

Many fans are also taking this as a sign of how serious the others were becoming in their warnings to him, as if they felt it was the only way to get through to him. I'm sure they had private conversations off-camera, but if they were williing to do it publicly? On national TV? (Radio Star, for example.) That appears to say something about the weight of their concerns and their attempts to reach him. (Also keep in mind that they've said they rarely saw him outside of band activities, that he was always running off as soon as events with them had ended, so who knows... maybe they felt that on camera was the only real chance they had to catch him and address him in person. Maybe they felt like it was the only way he would listen. So many maybes.)

Another thing: TOP's rather astute comments about Seungri's friends (that they seemed like bad people, that they were using him, that they weren't his true friends but were only attracted to his fame, etc)... I personally would not have said those things where the public could hear them were I in his position. There's nothing joking about it, nothing at all. He was very direct in his delivery and it was not something that could be laughed away even if you tried.

“If the hyungs really suspected Seungri's club was out drugging and raping women, the stupidest way to have resolved it would have been to take it to TV. Not to mention how suddenly chilling it is if the hyungs actually did know and were complicit in the crimes, which I feel like a lot of these prophecy video retweeters don't consider.”

Okay everyone, listen up. This is important. In all these videos being referenced by fans in recent days, it's not possible that the hyungs were hinting at the drugging and assault that occurred at "Seungri's club" (I still hesitate to call it that) because Burning Sun did not yet exist when these things were being said. The club Burning Sun opened in February 2018. The last time BB were together as a group (as four -- GD, YB, Daesung, Seungri) was during their Japan Dome Tour in December 2017. And TOP? January 2017.

(read the rest behind the cut)

Further information: GD enlisted in late February 2018 and YB & Daesung enlisted less then a month later in mid March. Burning Sun opened in February 2018 and closed a year later in February 2019 during Burning Sun gate. The videos floating around in which the hyungs appear to warn Seungri come primarily from their 2017 Welcoming Collection (filmed in late 2016), Run BIGBANG Scout (shot in summer 2016), and from various concerts and fanmeetings throughout 2016-2017.

It is true that people do need to be very cautious when speculating about just how much the others knew about what Seungri & Co got up to, seeing as how, when it comes to this type of crime, awareness of the crime can be quite damning in and of itself. But once you take these dates into account, I think the others should be fairly safe from that kind of dangerous speculation. The question then becomes, how much did they know about what Seungri & Co got up to in their own time?

That I’m not overly worried about. They made it quite clear on several occasions that they hated his friends. Why would they have had any involvement with them? And it’s difficult to imagine Seungri inviting them in, so to speak, knowing how they were always scolding him for one thing or another. The way I see it, he found his own flock and kept a tight formation. Birds of a feather and all that.

“At best, they thought (and I too thought at that time) that Seungri was maybe making bad money decisions, Lee Sangmin style.”

This is the assumption most fans seem to be going with. Additionally, they may have had some ideas about his treatment of women as well, especially taking into account his 2012 sex scandal with a Japanese woman in which he allegedly choked her during sex, never kissed her, and threw a towel at her when he was done (and after which Youngbae and Daesung moved in with him, evidently to keep an eye on him and help set him straight. I don’t know how much truth there is to this, but I’ve read that he seemed proud in the scandal’s aftermath because hey, people were finally viewing him as an adult. Talk about embracing one's bad boy image.)

On that note: if he was in fact proud of himself for getting caught up in a sex scandal back then because he felt like it made him more of a man, then what must he be feeling now? Bearing in mind the influence of his less-than-reputable friend group of the last few years? He's currently under suspicion of hooking up with prostitutes and offering them to his investors to grow his business, among other things. The public is calling him a pimp (not totally accurate but ok). His conduct lately is not that of a person who feels he's done anything wrong. He might even feel a little, well... pleased with himself. Hence that small but self-satisfied grin he's been wearing everywhere lately.

Hmm... Just some thoughts.

“But to characterize him as a 2D villain so that we don't have to struggle to reconcile the person we idolized before, and the crimes he's accused of now is only a disservice to us.”

I’m sorry you see it this way because that's not my intent at all. My goal is not to paint him as a villain but to simply show that the signs of trouble were there and to suggest that perhaps we shouldn't be as surprised as we are about recent revelations. That this isn't really coming at us -- or at the rest of BB for that matter -- completely out of the blue. I don't know about you, but I find that comforting. Understanding what went wrong and when helps me to better come to terms with what's happened here, and I've been hearing from quite a few others lately who say it's helped them too. It also reinforces my confidence in OT4′s ability to carry on, because if they expected him to leave them in the near future, it stands to reason that they had been mentally and emotionally readying themselves for it. We the fans are hurting enough; the last thing I want right now is for the members of BB to be hurting too.

I'm also hope my readers don’t think I’m suggesting that Seungri was never a good person or never did anything good for anyone. That’s not it at all. Nothing is ever that black and white. I won’t forget them or try to erase them, it’s just that right now I'm not very interested in reflecting on the “good times”... and I think most would agree. Those acts of kindness you're referencing in 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013... you might have noticed that I've been focusing on conversations between the guys that took place in 2016 onward. Between MADE era and the present day. Alive era, Tonight era... I'm not interested in examining those years, because I'm concentrating on the period of time after Seungri met his new circle of friends (Jung Joonyoung, Choi Jonghoon, Yoo In Suk, etc) and began spending more time with them than with the rest of BB. I'm certainly not implying that Seungri was always this way, but I do believe he had the potential to become it given the right -- or should I say wrong influences. And he found those influences. Or should I say they found him?

Now, this is just speculation, but BB's popularity exploded immensely during Alive in 2012. ��After that the members of BB went their separate ways for a time to work on solo projects. They came together periodically for YG family tours, I know that much, but it wasn't until MADE in 2015 that they were promoting as five again. It can probably be assumed that it was during that absence when Seungri ~fell in with this bad crowd~ (I hate to use that phrase because it seems to absolve him of responsibility for his actions, but let’s just go with it for a sec). I suspect the sharp rise in fame went to his head and he became... let’s just say susceptible.

(If there are any Seungri stans still here, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about the timeline or chime in with additional info. My knowledge of what the members were up to between Alive and MADE is pretty murky, seeing as I wasn't "there" for it in real time.)

“When TOP was represented by a tower in variety shows, Seungri blatantly mentioned his name in Radio Star when everyone pretended he didn't exist.”

Someone brought this up in an ask that I haven't answered (sorry anon!). While it's entirely possible that he did this out of the goodness of his own heart, it's also possible that he did it because he knew it was what the fans wanted... and Seungri is nothing if not good at giving people what they want. It might not have had anything to do with TOP's feelings at all. I also wonder if YB calling him while in the military may have been done more out of concern than affection -- i.e., checking in on him to make sure he stayed out of trouble.

...and that's if Seungri's story is even to be believed, i.e., "He called me instead of his wife, can you believe it?!" Seungri is not above using the others to draw eyes to himself and prop up his own popularity (as he did when he name dropped GD constantly during his Great Seungri promotions), and given the others' comments about him exaggerating and even flat-out making up stories that haven’t a shred of truth for attention... just saying I wouldn't put anything past him at this point.

“The kid we knew existed. It's just that there was another, more insidious side to him too.”

That's really all it boils down to. Although I don't much care for calling him a "kid" anymore. I know he likes to play up the cute maknae role and all when it benefits him, but it's never sat well with me because, well... dude's a grown man, and calling him "kid" in light of recent events feels very wrong. That "kid" image is long gone, and I say good riddance. (For the record, I don't much like it when the others go all aegyo on each other either; with them now in their late 20s - early 30s, I have to say it's gotten a little weird.)

“Seungri is a shitty criminal, but sadly a criminal who did love his hyungs and fans in some way. Not everything that happened in the last 12 years is fake. ... I think, the truly heartbreaking thing about this, is that Seungri was loved by his hyungs, and he did love his hyungs too.”

I believe in... their love for him to varying degrees. Some were closer than others, of course. This is why, in a previous post, I said that I won't be surprised if some of them decide to stay in Seungri's life as a positive influence behind the scenes. However, at the same time, I won't be surprised if they choose not to. The thing is, you can still remain friends with someone but recognize that the two of you just don't work well together anymore in a, well, work environment. The bonds of friendship are important, yes, but as I think we've seen lately... it isn't everything.

With what we know now, I believe that the tension we've seen building between Seungri and the other members over the last few years was rooted in Seungri losing his passion for music as his obsession with wealth and power took over. Greed got the best of him. And I’m sure he was frustrated; there were things he wanted from Big Bang that Big Bang could not give him.

Although his hyungs surely still cared for him, more or less, I can see why in the last few years they may have been uncomfortable continuing to work with him if they felt that he was staying for all the wrong reasons. If you're going to be part of a group of artists like this one, it helps with group morale, to be confident in the knowledge that you all share a common interest and are working toward a common goal. If the others' goal was in expressing themselves through their craft -- music and dance -- and connecting with the fans through their work, while Seungri saw it primarily as a means to an end (i.e., "It's just a paycheck") then yeah. I'd have found myself getting pretty irritated with him too.

In the end, you can care for someone and still distance yourself from them, for an abundance of reasons. I think many of us have been there with loved ones ourselves... and I believe that's what we're going to see happen in the coming months when the others come back. Hell, it's been happening for years right under our noses; the difference now is they don't have to try to hide it anymore.

#ask #seungri #bigbang #burning sun #my post #do you guys know how many fics I could have churned out by now if I was putting my writing energy into that instead of these asks #lol #jk it's not that easy #k time to hit the hay

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scrapyardboyfriends · 6 years ago

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Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 6th March 2018

- I don’t know if it’s because I have had other things to focus on, like Roswell and Game of Thrones trailers and such, but I’ve been so chill this week about Robron. We got those spoilers for this stuff and I never really thought about them too much because I didn’t know what to feel yet and I wanted to wait and see it play out, and so far, so good. *shrug*

- It definitely depends on how they close it off tomorrow and I’m mildly concerned about giving them enough time to do so since they have whatever nonsense is happening in Belfast to get through, but at least there are two episodes to play with.

- In any case, so far, I think they’ve been doing a decent job with it if it goes sort of how I want to go tomorrow. We got our weird set up episode last Thursday, followed by Friday presenting some facts that had been lacking until then. Monday started Aaron’s journey from ‘hey I’m checking out all our options’ to ‘I will bribe this woman I met yesterday to have a baby for me and the money will be stolen from my husband’s business. Like, yeah, Aaron’s been kind of insane this week and I was worried that they weren’t going to get at the motivations behind that, and they still might not do it justice, but I think from what we got today, it’s very clear that they’re aware that all of this is stemming from losing Seb for both Robert and Aaron. Aaron’s not able to fully express that yet, even though he was sort of trying to today but it gives me some hope that maybe he will tomorrow after he has his chat with Chas. I’ve been frustrated with the fact that they never properly resolved their feelings about Seb and as annoyed as I have been to wait this long, I think this week is really doing so much for that and it’s important. I know people have been concerned that the producers are trying to replace Seb or whatever and pretend he never happened and I’ve just never seen that as the case. Whether he comes back or not, Seb is a massive motivator for this whole surrogacy story, from Aaron desperately wanting a kid RIGHT NOW to Robert wanting to do things extra carefully to make sure he never loses a kid again. I don’t think that’s erasing Seb at all, quite the opposite actually, they’re making his existence extremely important to everything they do, whether they can express that or not.

- I don’t know, I just think it makes a lot of sense and I like when things make sense. And I like them having some angst, even if it is off the back of Aaron doing crazy things like trying to bribe women to have babies with stolen cash. They’ve been coasting along for a while now on some unresolved issues since November and I’m glad they’re finally digging into them a bit. They need to.

- But yes, tomorrow I need Aaron to talk to Chas, figure some stuff out and then go home and talk to Robert and 1) apologize for trying to steal from him and 2) explain that the reason he wants this baby so badly is because he’s not over losing Seb. And not only is he not over losing Seb, he feels like it’s his fault and I feel like he wants to get this baby for them to sort of make up for that and him ‘failing’ at that today was just another mark against him. And then Robert can tell him that it’s not his fault. And then they can cry about it together and you know, yeah, a hug and a kiss or two wouldn’t go amiss and then they can do their refocussing. I’m less annoyed about them potentially putting things on the back burner that I was before because as long as they do come back to it, I think it is important to go into this for the right reasons and to make sure that they go into on the same page. It’s sort of like the big January fight that was a giant red flag that they weren’t ready to get married but then they went and did it anyway without having all of the big conversations because well...prison, but this time they can course correct before they fall apart. This time they can talk to each other because they will hopefully remember what they said during the reunion, that they’re going to keep talking to each other and they will work it out and the next time the surrogacy comes up, it will be smoother sailing from a ‘them’ perspective.

- So yeah...other things happened in this episode too. Like Chas all of a sudden being weirdly cautious and against Paddy going to see Bear even though she was pushing for it like crazy before. That was weird.

- This is the weirdest trip to Belfast ever. Are they going to stay in their hotel room too? So strange. I still really thought this would be more than a thursday double but whatever. Curious to see New!Amy.

- Again...poor Jacob. He’s so reeled in now, it makes me so sad for him.

- Laurel is really on a power trip isn’t she. Haha.

- I...am still confused by Billy and Ellis. But hey, if they’re finally getting to Robron’s motivations, maybe they’ll get to theirs too.

- Fuck David for messing with Tracy’s love life.

#robron #emmerdale #belated live blogging

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monolid-monologues · 6 years ago

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Wtf is going on - Part I.

#12.

READY OR NOT..............

The next three weeks feel impossible.

My KNEES are KNOCKING.

TOO MUCH IS HAPPENING

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m losing my mind lol. I’m going to take myself through this week by week. Breaking up my next 3 blog posts into a Three part series, and i’m going to slowly tread wtf is going on.

1.) MY JOB, MY LIFE

Karina and i drove LA >> Oakland >> LA in one day to audition for 5 minutes. LoL. We’re crazy and we know that. The troubling fact is this job means quitting my current one and moving to Oakland.

In February at the festival in Oregon, we were invited to audition for Kaiser Permanente’s Educational Theatre. They employ actors to perform shows for kids.

It pays more than my current job. It is less stable than my current job.

I’m TERRIFIED of having *that* conversation with my dad, and my office.

Desperate to avoid a serving job (having worked them since i was 16), i approached my dad for a job at his company. He knows about me and theater. He knew to be cautious. He asked me commit 2 years. I promised my dad 2 years; it’s only been 6 months. There’s a voice in my head chiding me for even considering this new opportunity.

And part of me is very very resistant to the reality of this new opportunity. Moving to Oakland means moving away from Robin, from Heather, from my studio, from all the work i’ve been doing in L.A to lay down some roots. Working full time at a corporate theater. Suffering bay area rent. Potentially losing my dad’s support (he is helping me with car and insurance payments). And pouring so much time into someone else’s theater. And potentially neglecting my own dreams -- risk of being too burnt, busy and broke to manifest my own theater projects. Not to mention all my fears around the importance of artistic freedom to me and needing to comply with a higher authority for paycheck’s sake (literal nightmare). And i just, might, very well, possibly, end up hating the job.

I fear breaking my promise. Going back on my word. Owning up to the fact that i am not the loyal bitch we hoped i was. I fear these feelings of betrayal. I fear upsetting my dad and losing his support. I fear the disrespect i am slamming on my director & cecillia’s time and energy and trust in me. I fear that there is no “good” decision, but i can see Regret sitting atop my worst case scenario and i’m afraid that it doesn’t even really matter how things go, whether i stay or go, it’s all a sticky situation.

If i get the job, but don’t go, i am still at the office. Sitting. So much sitting............clutching my small studio time like the life jacket it is...

If i get the job and want go, well, fuck, that’s a lot of, fuck. Can i put my independent theater dreams on hold? Is this experience worth pursuing? Is it worth upsetting my entire life here? Wow. Since when did i get so attached to my life here? I’ve worked so hard since i’ve been here, to seek, and seek, and plan, and build. I’ve been planning for my life here in L.A. I NeVER imagined relocating this soon. Turning my life upside down when i’ve literally JUST managed to get it looking right-side-up. f$&%@#$!

OKAY Normally, i’d wait to see if i got called back to start worrying. But this opportunity requiring 600 mile drives, requiring me and karina to rearrange chunks of our lives, to even be considered for the job, makes every step in the audition process so costly o_o. We’re asking ourselves “if we do get called back, how are we even going to get there?” We’re investing and sacrificing for a huge Maybe. Even pursuing the possibility is TOO MUCH!!!! yet here we are. Why? Why am i this crazy about a maybe?

L.A.’S BEEN GROWING ON ME. AND I MIGHT NOT GET THE JOB. LET’S KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID --

Tomorrow, we will find out if we’re called back. If we’re called back, the one thing i need to do (the scariest fkn thing ok) is ask for another day off (to secretly attend). If god blesses me with a Yes and my director is NOT fed up with my bullshit, the next thing is figuring out how tf to get there. And that’s it. That’s it. That’s it. For now.

* * *

An interlude.)

What changes when i decide i’m tired of doubting myself? Staying off social media is a great relief. I stepped back because i was starting to carry some duty to entertain or cater to the tastes of the people who engage with what i post. The anxiety that begins to stir between myself and thoughts of people far away -- with heavy social media comes this baggage we pick up and hold nearly voluntarily.

Just as we are curious how someone else’s life is going, we imagine other people are curious about ours.

We second-guess what we want to post. When it’s about what we want to share in the first place. How anybody receives it is their business. Leave them tf ALONE, LOL. Leave YOURSELF alone!

If it’s your career, you chase one of few formulas. If it’s your hobby, you draw from these formulas and mix in your personal flavor of “idgaf”. And if it’s mostly irrelevant to what you do/what you want, you’re not even bothered. *shrug*

Every fuckin body will tell you, people who don’t frequent social media are happier.

Do you think so? Do we think so? I’m skeptical. It’s easy to believe, given how much (admit it) time and attention social media sucks. But actually? Let’s be clear: who can know? Lol. The very point around people who don’t use social media is they are beyond the reach of our prying eyes. They are safe, much less susceptible to the wandering imagination of a distant relationship. They are out of bounds.

Sometimes i wish i was that kind of person. Whoever that means.

I’m not.

There’s something about getting to show something to hundreds of people. There’s something about connections waiting to be made. Paths that could cross. Click-holes where we lean outside of our usual environments. We are open to exposure and being exposed. We are creative with our public image. We narrate our own lives. We seek others’. ThaT PART. That part. “I will engage!!!!!!!!!!”

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with social media?

What does that look like?

There’s so much in our culture that discourages social media use - from mental health to physical health - we are told every day what the pitfalls are. We know it ourselves in living our lives. The common denominator to these warnings is usually over-consumption. Too much. Much too much.

If we are using social media, we are at risk. We know the risks. We live with the risks. ALAS - we believe we can manage the time/space distortion that the social media universe rips into our lives.

With social media comes this massive gravitational pull sucking us into a manufactured world. This tech, as far as i’m concerned, insanely complicates our lives - adding data to bodies, instant X long distance everything, and a level of productivity concerning online metrics that is often inversely proportional to our productivity offline.

The most estranged relationships continue to fizzle quietly with mutual following. Our brains buzz “To post or not to post”. And our eyes are getting tired, our thumbs sore; our time and attention sinks and slips away from us. Like retribution for the discontent, disinterest, and laziness we risk habituating with social media.

We give access and have access and the ride is crippling or energizing depending on whatever people or time in your life.

Do the rewards outweigh the risks?

* * *

II. SHOWTIME

IT’S GO TIME.

While i’m floundering in the dark about my job, my life, March is ending soon and come April comes the premiere and one-month-run of my new production, 1-800-PERFECTION.

This is my first show in socal. My first show outside of Davis. My first full solo work. My first script-based PLAY in YEARS.

March Timeline:

meeting with studio manager to settle performance dates (today)

last full rehearsal (3/24 SAT)

tech rehearsal with Heather (3/30 SAT)

preview performance w/ talk back (3/31 SUN) YOU’RE INVITED. [email protected] | please come! TIME: 1-3pm LOCATION: 1183 Kraemer Blvd, Anaheim, CA

April Timeline:

Dress Rehearsal (week 1, TBD)

1st Show (week 2, TBD)

2nd show (week 3, TBD)

3rd Show (week 4, TBD) Tickets: $12 venmo (seat reserved) or $10 cash at door (exact change!!!)

My radical marketing plan is to do it in person. I wanna shit my pants thinking about it, but i’m determined to go out there into public places and invite people to my show face 2 face. I will certainly let you know how it goes. The experience may turn up a giant dumpster fire. :-)

Common questions when opening a new work include: what if ppl hate it? what if i hate it? what if no one comes? what if this is the end of my reputation as an artist as we know it? as i know it? what if i’m not ready?

What if i didn’t rehearse enough? THIS ONE’S BEEN HAUNTING ME.

My best friend asks me how long i’ve been working on this play. I tell her i can afford 20 hours of studio time a month. It’s been almost 4 months now. And then she’s like, isn’t 20 hours...less than a day? *brain explodes* Have i only worked on my show for LESS THAN 4 DAYS? IS IT LIKE THAT?

It has been living, growing, changing with me day to day. But of course, 20 hours is really it of dedicated work time/space. 5 hours a week.

I am used to working 30 hours per weeeeeek on a show. that’s what i’m used to.

....................................................

I remember when i first found this studio offering exactly what i was looking for and could afford, i was ELATED to get 20 hours a month. Considering the ZERO work i was doing my first 2 months back in LA -- Getting 1 step closer to where i would be today - on the cusp of running a whole original ass show - was mooooreee than enough.

But this is honestly one worry out of SO MANY, literally so many, that it’s all looking - sounding - and feeling increasingly ridiculous. because there’s just so much. *laugh cry emoji* * * * I’m never going to forget what i signed up for. Everything on my plate, i set up for myself.

Was i ready for all of this? No. Did i dream this up and seek its fruition? Hell yes. Even i know that only time will tell me What was What. So, i will take it one fkn day at a time.

Maybe this is a lesson to follow your dreams no matter what, precisely BECAUSE you’ll never be ready for it. I can’t imagine being ready for what i’m going through these days. There’s no fucking way i could’ve known how stickyyyy things could get when i made my first studio payment in December, or asked my dad for a job in October.

But go through with it, we will, because we’ve reached the point where we must. I’m. Not. Looking. Back.

BUT I AM REALLY TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF MY HEALTH WHILE I’M WHIZZING ACROSS THE STATE AND PREPARING ALL THE SHOW THINGS. WISH ME SOME HONEST LUCK ON THAT.

So, I don’t have a dramatic poignant closer for you on this one. Let’s, uh, give that to Part 3, when we wrap this whole mess up. (ie. is Oakland rlly happening? how was canvassing the brea mall to advertise my show LMAO? did i lose my damn mind, or nah?)

Hi. I just want to say, thank you for reading. Really. thank you.

I think my writing is suffering from the craziness atm.

* * *

i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week.

previous letter: #11. detox,

drop me a line

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask

#tinyletter #wtfisgoingon123 #rose kim

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inkycrowwrites · 7 years ago

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Imagine Jonathan Crane saving you

Pairing: Jonathan Crane x reader

A/N: We’re back! And it’s my number one boy’s birthday! A few days ago I promised I would write something for today, so here we are (this story is slightly based on a creepy story I heard on a video a long time ago, If I ever encounter it again I’ll tag it). I’m planning on writing again, because fuck depression! I’ll work on some things some people asked for and then we’ll officially open requests. Again, if you find any grammar mistakes or feel like I forgot to include a warning please let me know at my main blog @regipumpkin. Thank you for reading!

Warnings: Cursing, assault attempt.

Your family never had a lot of money growing up. It actually wasn’t all that bad, your parents and sister loved you very very much and that was enough, but now that you finally finished High School you needed to move out.

The town you grew up in didn’t even have its own college so Gotham was the cheapest and closest option. It took you a whole year and a half to convince them to let you go, that college was the only way you could finally study animal genetics. Ripping your dream away from you would break their hearts.

A friend of your sister got you a job at his uncle’s sketchy motel on the outskirts of the city. It wasn’t very pretty but as long as you kept the rooms clean you could stay free of charge and eat dinner for free as a housekeeper. It was an offer you couldn’t refuse.

Things went smoothly for the first months. Sure, working and studying a career at the same time wasn’t easy, but you’ve been helping support your family since you were sixteen, even now you still send them your tips.

A couple of weeks ago while cleaning a room, you found a trail of blood coming from the bathroom. The three men that stayed at the room had left hours ago and thankfully, for your sanity, that was the only piece of evidence they left behind. You dropped everything and ran to the front desk for help. When the manager saw your pale face he just smirked and said “welcome to Gotham”. The police came to ask you a few questions, but just like the other employees told you to repeat, you didn’t see anything, that was the answer that would keep you safe. The police didn’t bat an eye, they seemed to be used to people not answering questions.

Now Friday night was finally here, your teachers had mercy on you and asked for a small essay which you had already finished and your shift was over, or so you thought. As you reached the front desk to leave your equipment your manager told you that the other house keeper had to leave because of an emergency. This wasn’t something she did often as she had two kids and had to provide for them, you only hoped that everything was alright back home.

She left her cart at the third building, the one farther from the office, and thankfully only one room to clean, the one at the end of the hall. As you scrubbed the shower you heard loud laughter from the next room, your first thought was that they were probably drunk, perfect, more cleaning tomorrow.

When the room was finally done you felt exhausted, you locked the room and pushed the cart. The pretty lights from the city caught your attention, perhaps Gotham wasn’t that bad, you had to admit it had a certain grisly charm. The wheels got stuck in the carpet and as you pushed harder it collided into the next room’s door with a loud bang. The voices from inside the room immediately went silent. The door opened slightly and a man peeked from the inside “what do you want?”

“It was an accident, sir. The stupid cart, sorry to bother you”

The man opened the door completely with a smile on his face, you recognized him from the other day, he was one of the men who left the bloodied room.

“No harm done sweetheart. You hungry? We got some pizza and booze here, wanna have some fun?”

“I need to go”, was the only thing your fear allowed you to mutter. You lowered your head and kept pushing the cart as fast as you could. A tight grip on your arm coerced you to let out a distressed shriek “don’t be such a tease, babe. You’ll break my heart”

“We promise you’ll have fun” spoke a second voice from inside the room.

Tears formed at the edge of your eyes, you screamed for help. With all your strength you kicked him in the shin and ran leaving everything behind.

“GET BACK HERE BITCH!” Two of them came behind you. And like a beam of hope a door of one of the rooms opened. Your instinct screamed at you to get in and so you did, crashing into someone, you didn’t have time to apologize, you slammed the door but right before you could lock it, the men barged in. They dragged you out as you kicked and screamed “please! No! Let me go please!”. The last glimpse you had of that room was a whole chemistry set on the sink and the room desk along with some strangely colored lights, the person you collapsed into was nowhere to be found.

The man on your right suddenly collapsed to the ground, you turned to look at him, he squirmed scratching at his neck pathetically. Then the one at your left fell too, wheezing painfully. A tall, slim shadow stood between you and the third man “Stay away from me! Fucking freak!” the man screamed as he pulled out a gun, “ah, but ‘freak’ is such an underappreciated compliment”. The shadow threw something at the ground and a yellow cloud engulfed them, you backed away as much as you could and covered your mouth and nose. Just as you expected the third man screamed bloody murder and dropped the gun to the floor. The cloud dissipated, the tall man took a cloth out of his coat and pressed it against the man’s face.

“Shush, not yet”. After a few moments the man fell silent.

As you stared at them you felt dizzy and a little disoriented. You had to lean against the balcony bar to keep your balance. You caught the man’s attention, he turned to you and walked with long cautious steps, each time you felt more and more anxious. He stared at you with piercing blue eyes through brown unattended hair, you felt obliged to break the silence.

“Thank you for-for saving me”

“But we aren’t done yet, dear”. He pulled a new needle and you panted as a knot formed in your throat. “May I ask for a favor, miss?” you nodded nervously. “Help me get these gentlemen back to their room, they came to me like a gift. It’s an opportunity I can’t ignore”. You collected yourself and helped him drag them, in your position running wasn’t an option.

As you helped him with the third man your foot bumped into something, it was the lost gun from earlier. You stared at it, he stopped too, curious about your next move. You left it there and continued. If it weren’t for his help...you preferred to ignore the thought.

This time he was the one to break the silence, “Do you happen to know anything about chemistry?”

“No” you lied, he sighed in response “of course you don’t. What a shame, I guess you’re of no use to me anymore” again he toyed with the syringe in his long fingers and smiled at you.

“Off you go, dear” he walked you back to the hall. You simply stared at him with wide eyes in disbelief. This was just a trick, he was playing with you.

“Ah! I know what you want” he turned to the table in the room, took the wallet of one of the men and gave you $20 “there you go, have a good night. By the way, if I were you I wouldn’t call the cops, for your own safety”

“Yes sir” you gulped and walked away turning to look at him a few times. He simply putted one of his long knotty fingers on his lips as if to shush you and stared with an eerie look until you lost him at the turn.

Needless to say, you didn’t catch any sleep that night. Constantly peeking through the curtains searching for anything unusual. Not even the police lights you were getting used to illuminating your room came.

When the sun finally rose you felt slightly safer. You got out of bed and walked to the diner for breakfast, you still had the same clothes from last night but at least if you collected your food the rest of the employees wouldn’t suspect that something was wrong with you.

They gave you the usual, eggs with bacon. It was the usual for you because it was the cheapest dish they could feed you. Your stomach still felt sick from last night, you took your food to go along with a cup of coffee and walked over to your room.

But your feet took you somewhere else, when your mind snapped back to reality you found yourself in the building from last night right in front of that man’s door. He was probably gone by now, after what he did you would do the same, but then a wild stupid idea went through your head and you knocked on the door. Immediately regretting it the need to run away almost took over you, but the door opened before you could back away. He stood inside with a stoic expression. The only light in the room came through the door, behind him laid a body from last night. You felt neutral towards that.

When he realized it was you again he seemed slightly surprised “Yes?”

“I brought you breakfast, sir”

“I never requested room service” he seemed slightly pissed “no, sir. It’s not that-”

“Open it” he commanded, you took the food container out of the paper bag and showed him “bacon and everything” you smiled slightly, “I swear it’s not poisoned. It’s a thank you gift, for saving me last night”. He bowed his head a little and laughed with a low voice “You’re not from Gotham, correct?” Surprisingly he took the food and coffee anyway and nodded as if to say he appreciated it.

“Wait sir! The maid in charge of this building, her shift starts at 8 o'clock. I thought you would like to know in case you-”

“I’ll be gone by then”. You nodded and turned around to go back to your room. Just like before he stared at you as you left, except that this time when you looked back at him he looked away from your gaze and closed the door. Your instinct told you that this wouldn’t be the last time you encountered him.

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