#playful theatre 2017

[finding-w0nd3rland]

Tag list of different productions

[florasearlethirdyear]

FMP: Tivoli. LO1/LO2.

Easter Week 3

As I was getting stuck in my head as to how to approach the design of my project, I showed my mum a collection of images I had gathered on Pinterest and from the V&A/University of Sheffield that I thought could be potential visual directions. We begun narrowing down what we thought worked best, excluding imagery that was heavily painterly, such as the vintage Coney Island material. This is because I have to think realistically about what I can make within my skill level-I'm not a fine artist.

Imagery we leaned towards was more colourful and naive in style, in fact, my mum's favourite was Tivoli's posters! For her, it made her think to illustrations present in her childhood (1970's).

So, what is Tivoli?

Tivoli Gardens amusement park in central Copenhagen offers rides, games, musicals, ballet, and major concerts. The park is best known for its wooden roller coaster, Rutschebanen (The Mountain Coaster), built in 1914. It is one of the world's oldest wooden roller coasters that is still operating today.

I selected Tivoli as a point of study as its success is founded in the preservation of its original buildings and rides. Another example of this is Tivoli's Pantomime Theatre, Tivoli's oldest building. It is listed due to its exotic exterior and the unique baroque stage inside.

See how it all links back to Pollock's!

Reflection, LO4:

When trying to research into what Tivoli actually was, I found finding the answer to this on their website to be difficult-in fact, there wasn't a description at all. On 'The Company' section, it talks of fiscal reports and sustainability, and gives no indication into what the place is. The same criticisms were said in response to Dreamland's 2017 campaign, so it is important that I ensure effective communication in my work. The same obscurity can be said for Tivoli's posters, but their playful illustrative execution is something I'd like to bring into my project.

1960's-70's Posters:

House artist Thomas Winkler still embraces the original designs of Tivoli's old posters. He is also responsible for the overall design of the park.

"I have my hands in everything except the plants, whether it's the color of the benches, decorations or the letters above the lawn," he explains. 

[on the 2023 posters]: "It is important to preserve history, but at the same time something new must happen. So a mixture of tradition and innovation," he explains.

Kristensen, T. (2023). Tivoli turns 180 years old. [online]. Available from: https://www.magasinetkunst.dk/Home/Detail/MTU2Njg%3D [Accessed 29/03/2024]

[denimbex1986]

'Where to start when profiling such a talented and charismatic actor as Andrew Scott? How about the fact that, aside from some youth theater workshop experience, this Dublin-born actor has had no official drama training? At 17, he was cast in a substantial role in an Irish film called Korea and, from there, joined the prestigious Abbey Theatre company in Dublin. His move to England in the late 80s corresponded with small parts in British, Irish, and American films and TV series and paved the way for his career to take off.

Among other projects, Andrew Scott appeared as an extra in Saving Private Ryan's Omaha Beach sequence, as well as several guest starring roles in British TV series like Garrow's Law and Foyle's War. All in all, he spent the first decade or so of his career building a solid body of work that would soon catapult him into pop culture stardom.

Let's take a look at some of Mr. Scott's iconic characters and lesser-known projects.

Sherlock (2010 – 2017)

Who can forget when Sherlock first revealed the character of Jim Moriarty to audiences in "The Great Game" episode? Scott played Mr. Holmes's famous nemesis as a deranged mastermind with a playful sing-song creepiness and a palpable presence of malice. He won the Best Supporting Actor TV BAFTA for that role in 2012.

The Bachelor Weekend aka The Stag (2013)

Some may have missed the delightful indie comedy, The Stag, about a group of friends who set out on a hiking excursion in the Irish countryside. Mr. Scott leads the ensemble as Davin, the groom's best man, in charge of their mild-mannered weekend. Their plans are wholly upended when The Machine (Peter McDonald), the bride's laddish brother, crashes the party. Lest you expect an Irish Hangover clone, emotional confrontations ensue between Davin and our groom, Fionnan (Hugh O'Conor), when unresolved issues from their past rise to the surface.

Pride (2014)

The feel-good, historical dramedy Pride depicts a group of London-based lesbian and gay activists who raised money to help families affected by the Welsh miners' strike in 1984. Scott plays Gethin, owner of a gay bookshop, who lends support to the group but hesitates to get actively involved due to his experiences as a gay youth coming out in Wales. He earned the best supporting actor trophy for his performance from the British Independent Film Awards.

Spectre (2015)

Once an actor is lauded for playing a baddie well, you have to expect the 007 franchise will come calling. In the 24th Bond film Spectre, Scott played Max Denbigh, aka C, Director-General of the Joint Security Service, an organization created by merging MI5 and MI6. While at first his disagreements with M (Ralph Fiennes) seem to be internal power struggles, it turns out C is a danger to democracy worldwide.

This Beautiful Fantastic (2016)

This Beautiful Fantastic is a quirky fairytale for adults and tells the story of Bella (Jessica Brown Findlay), a young woman who aspires to be a children's author but lacks the skills to navigate her out-of-control garden, let alone her nebulous career. Befriended by a kindly chef/housekeeper named Vernon (Scott), Bella begins to conquer her issues and blossom into the person she wishes to become. The film also stars Tom Wilkinson as Bella's gardening mentor.

Denial (2016)

A biographical legal drama, Denial depicts the libel case brought against American professor Deborah Lipstadt (Rachel Weisz) by Holocaust denier David Irving (Timothy Spall). Mr. Scott plays Anthony Julius, the lead solicitor of Deborah's legal team, who guides her through the UK justice system and their arduous path to obtaining justice.

1917 (2019)

In the innovative war drama 1917 (which starred a who's who of British talent), two English soldiers run a harrowing gauntlet through enemy territory to deliver a message that could save the lives of over 1500 troops. Along the way, the young men meet up with a handful of officers who help them on their journey, all played by respected British actors, including Messrs. Cumberbatch, Firth, Strong, and you guessed it – Scott. His portrayal of Lieutenant Leslie stands out a mile for its humor and hopelessness.

Present Laughing (2019)

Mr. Scott garnered theatrical acclaim for his performance as Garry Essendine in Present Laughing, a semi-autobiographical piece by Noel Coward performed at the Old Vic. Farcical in tone, the play depicts the harried life of a successful and self-obsessed light comedy actor facing an impending mid-life crisis. Andrew won the Laurence Olivier Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role in a Play.

Fleabag (2019)

Andrew Scott's name may have been synonymous with Moriarty until the world witnessed his portrayal of a character known only as "Hot Priest" in Fleabag. In the second season of Phoebe Waller-Bridge's award-winning dark comedy, Scott was introduced as the cleric who would be marrying Fleabag's dad and his fiancé. The couple has an immediate connection at the dinner table, and a trinity of friendship, spirituality and physical attraction ignite throughout the six-episode season. Scott's contribution was perfection!

This is only a brief sampling of Andrew Scott's work and impressive range...'

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

DICED HAM

Opening this weekend:

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves--This movie includes more than one dungeon, and more than one dragon. Thus the title is truthful, at any rate.

Once or twice back in college--twice, if memory serves--I played Dungeons & Dragons with some of my fellow theater students. It was sort of fun, as I recall. The first time, an obnoxious kid we didn't know named Dan--not a theatre major--had somehow been invited, who seemed to think himself a great ladies' man. He named his warrior character "Dahn" and spent most of the evening drinking a lot and hitting on the young women there. When we played again a week or so later, Dan was not invited, and the Dungeon Master mildly informed us that "Dahn disagreed with something that ate him."

This was in the early '80s.  I recount this story only to make it clear how limited my familiarity is with the classic role-playing fantasy game developed in the mid-'70s and now owned by Wizards of the Coast (a subsidiary of Hasbro). I've never played D&D or any similar game since, though I have friends and family who are enthusiasts. Even at the time, I didn't really grasp how the dice rolls and "damage points" and other such jargon determined the flow of the game; I just enjoyed the socializing and improvisational creativity.

So for all I know, this new movie version, directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley from a script they concocted with Michael Gilio and Chris McKay, is a rich and faithful fleshing-out of tropes from the game. Or, for all I know, it's just a sword-and-sorcery fantasy with the franchise's name hung on it. I can't say, nor need any general audience member care; either way, it's highly entertaining.

Chris Pine is a lute-strumming troubadour living in a Ren-Faire-ish realm of racial and gender diversity. A washed-up member of a heroic order, he leads a band of thieves including a warrior (Michelle Rodriguez); a sorcerer (Justice Smith) of low self-esteem and questionable prowess, and a horned and tailed elfin person (Sophia Lillis) who can shape-shift into various other creatures, including a brawny monster owl.

They're on a quest to obtain some sort of magical thingy that will allow them to enter a magic vault from which they want to steal some other magical thingy. This will allow the troubadour to resurrect his murdered wife. Along the way the band is helped by a noble but humorlessly literal paladin (Regé-Jean Page from Bridgerton).

This synopsis does the movie little justice, however. D&DHAT isn't heavy. Despite all the thundering hordes and clanking armor and clashing steel and roiling brimstone and mystical spells and hideous ogres and such, the flavor is less like a Tolkien epic than like a Hope-Crosby Road comedy. The guiding joke is that the characters, notwithstanding their fairy tale attire, speak and interact in a contemporary American idiom, like people on a sitcom. There's an extended schtick, involving questioning of the dead, that's almost worthy of the Marx Brothers.

Your own tastes will determine if this approach makes the movie a blast or an outrage. For me, it not only made it less ponderous, but more emotionally satisfying. The actors generate an ensemble playfulness and a sense of affection. Pine retains his raffish agreeability, and he and Rodriguez are particularly convincing as longtime, patiently enduring friends.

But once again, the best reason to see the film, even if this sort of fantasy isn't your usual tankard of mead, is Hugh Grant. He plays the rotten mountebank who betrayed Pine and friends back in the day. Since then, with the alliance of a sinister sorceress (Daisy Head), this fraud has ascended to the throne of the kingdom; it's his vault the gang wants to loot, and he's also, intolerably, been serving as the surrogate father to Pine's daughter (Chloe Coleman).

Between this movie, the recent Operation Fortune, and 2017's Paddington 2, Grant has quite a line these days in cheery, good-natured comic villains. The scenes he steals here are the most honorable theft in the movie.

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter Four.

a/n: this was one of my fav chapters to write, so hope you all enjoy! I think you’re all gonna like this one hehe :’) pls reblog to share and leave feedback as it continues to motivate me <3

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 10.1k

come talk to me about WTSGD! i’d love to know your thoughts!

October 31, 2017 

A lot had happened in the last five months that felt like an eternity. 

After Luci’s very first performance for Miss Saigon and her unfortunate breakdown that was caused by one of the biggest critics of Broadway, practically insulting her, she performed almost every night after that. 

When one bad review on her performance was ratified by hundreds of tweets and reviews, saying that Luci’s performance was one of the best they’d ever seen, she’d say she did her damn job. The night of her breakdown, she received a text from Nina, who sent her a link to a few reviews on her Broadway debut. Those articles directly addressed how unprofessional and poorly written Adam West’s review was, and that he needed to open his eyes to observe and admire brilliant, wonderful, and beautifully performed talent. On top of the important names next to Adam West, theatre-Twitter seemed to agree with the positive articles that were written about her, tweeting that Luci was the next face of Broadway; and who cared if she started her career in commercials and Off-Broadway because getting the role in Miss Saigon had proved that she worked her way up and that she was good. 

After reading the articles and tweets, her mood had drastically shifted. She was so overwhelmed by the positive comments that defended her from a misogynistic man that she cried again, but it was tears of happiness this time around. She walked out of her apartment, headed to Harry’s door to show him the uplifting reviews, and he was happy to see that she was ecstatic—he was happy for her. 

They had definitely become closer since that day. 

Harry and Luci hung out a lot. Whenever they had the chance and they both weren’t busy, they would knock on each other’s doors or text one another, asking to hang out. For the most part, he opened up to her, showcasing his true personality and becoming more comfortable around Luci—enough to joke around and be himself. He loved the way he didn’t feel like he had to be someone he’s not; everything felt true and real. 

It was refreshing for Harry to have a real friend, a best friend, other than Jeff and Mitch. Although he developed a small crush on said friend, it was nice to just have a chat and walk around the neighborhood with her. He’d been talking himself up to ask her out, not knowing if she’ll say yes or if she even feels that way about him; but from what he could tell, he thinks that she’s sort of infatuated with him. Luci would flirt with him from time to time, and would tell him that he’s adorable and sweet, making Harry’s cheeks redden from the sweet talk. 

Luci’s situation with Daisy and Samuel never got better. Ever since she started to perform more and more—sometimes even more than Daisy—they would be nothing but rude to her. They weren’t used to someone taking their spotlight; it was like someone stepping right in front of them on center stage to steal the show—especially if it was someone they despised and was new to Broadway. The two tried to take it up with Tal, demanding and arguing about how they deserved to perform every single night, but Tal kept her word to Luci and the rest of the industry: that she would stand up for her cast and run the show herself. 

Throughout the months, Luci had been talking with Harry about something very, very important. It was a few weeks ago, during their walk to a bagel place in the morning, when she first brought it up. 

“Remember that lady who came up to me after the show?” She asked as they walked along the sidewalk. Harry nodded, letting out a ‘mhm.’ “So, she’s a talent agent…” Harry raised his brows, thinking she was an agent for Broadway. “In Hollywood.” Samantha Stone was one of Hollywood’s greatest and biggest agents; she mostly worked with actors who were first starting out in the industry before making them successful. Samantha was always on the hunt for new and fresh talent; she walked the streets with an eye like a hawk. 

In early September, Samantha was in New York for a small getaway, as well as to meet one of her side pieces in the city. She figured she could watch a show or two since she was already in the city, and it’d been ages since she'd seen a Broadway show. Deciding on Miss Saigon because she saw the tweets and reviews of Luciana, she decided to give it a shot and see what her hype was about. And it did not disappoint. She was so intrigued and invested in the story, and was absolutely blown away by Luciana’s performance. Naturally, even though she shouldn’t be working, she waited until the cast was coming out of the theatre to approach her. 

Luci was in complete shock because she’d never had anyone walk up to her, telling her to give her a call because she was a talent agent and hoped to work with her soon. When Luci got back home, she looked up Samantha Stone and her breath hitched as she found out who she had worked with and what she did for a living. 

“Holy shit!” Harry completely stopped walking, making Luci stop as well. They stood on the side of the sidewalk as people passed by them. Harry beamed excitedly, but soon his smile softened, noticing Luci’s didn’t match his. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you excited?” 

“I-I don’t know. I just get nervous thinking about it, like she wants to work with me.” Luci fiddled with her fingers. 

“Isn’t that great?” Harry asked softly; he didn’t see what was wrong with that, but he was being patient with Luci to try and understand what she was feeling and thinking about.

She nodded. “It is. I’m just nervous; I hate disappointing people. What if I call her and I do an audition or whatever, and she realizes that I’m not meant for the job? She’s the biggest agent in Hollywood, Harry. That would mean I’m not meant for any job,” she explained worriedly, anxiety bubbling up in her stomach as if it’d been simmering for hours on the stove.

Harry slightly frowned. He couldn’t imagine how it must feel to doubt one’s own talents, and he absolutely hated that Luci was doing it. 

“Luciana, listen to me.” Well, that definitely caught her attention. “You’re remarkably talented, end of. If you end up being dropped by that agent, then fuck her. She shouldn’t be a talent agent if she can’t see clear talent right in front of her. Literally everyone in the same room knows you are so incredibly gifted. Plus, wouldn’t you like to try it out? It doesn’t hurt to try because you have nothing to lose. You’ll still be on Broadway; and then you’ll try again later if right now is not your time.” 

Smiling, she appreciated his words. She nodded, knowing he was completely right. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.” Her response seemed to satisfy Harry. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. I’ll always be here for you.” She smiled. “Still gonna help me grade papers?” 

She chuckled as they started walking on the pavement again. “Yup. Believe it or not, it’s actually fun grading papers.” 

He turned to her shockingly. “Oh, really? Then maybe you could be my TA and I’ll have you grade all the papers.” Luci laughed, saying that she didn’t mind; she adored moments when they were playful. Their friendship was refreshing to the both of them. 

A week after her conversation with Harry, where he reassured and encouraged her, she called Samantha, who was delighted to hear from Luci. Samantha asked if she wanted to meet for lunch; Luci was hesitant, but she remembered Harry’s words, and it really didn’t hurt to try, so she agreed and they met in Midtown at a Thai restaurant. 

It was a casual luncheon where Samantha got to know Luci before she decided if she wanted to sign her or not. Luci completely rocked her socks; she was funny, kind, and very humble—traits that not a lot of stars had. So, Samantha immediately thought she was perfect and very likeable. After thirty minutes of eating and chatting, Samantha pulled out her business side, along with a contract, and discussed what this could mean for Luci. She went over her contract very quickly, and Luci knew she couldn’t keep up so she pretended to listen, nodding and letting out a ‘mhm’ to be interactive. 

Samantha had a pen ready for her to sign, but if Luci knew anything, it was to not sign contracts right then and there, and to go over the contract in further details on her own. So, Luci told her that she would look over the stack of papers once more before she got back to her potential agent. 

Luci wished she took a business class to understand such things about contracts and how to handle things herself, but she thinks that she might enroll in some classes some time soon. She attended Boston University and graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Performing Arts in Theatre Arts. On top of auditioning, solo acts, musical pieces, and countless shows for the four years she was there, she maintained a 3.5 GPA in her general education, and that’s something she’s incredibly proud of herself for. There were a few classes during her freshman year that she failed, making her consider dropping out, but she picked herself back up and promised herself to work harder, and she did. 

When she got back home, she tossed the contract on her coffee table as she sighed, grabbing a glass of water. She had felt stressed out about the situation, but then she remembered that Harry’s sister, Gemma, was a lawyer in London. So, she sent Harry a quick text, telling him about her situation, and asked if Gemma was able to help out. Harry was on his lunch when she texted, but he quickly asked Gemma and she was quick to comply, anything to help her brother’s friend.

The day after, Harry and Luci both sat down on his couch, FaceTiming Gemma on his laptop; it was the very first time his sister and Luci were meeting each other. Harry warned Luci that Gemma was a bit tough with his new friends, but once the two women chatted for a few minutes, Gemma was smittened with her; Harry was shocked at how quick they seemed to become friends, but he cherished it because he liked Luci…a lot. 

Luci had sent over a scanned version of the contract, so they went over it together with Harry sitting next to her for moral support; and from what Gemma said, the contract was clean. The most important thing that Gemma was looking for was that Luci had a say to back out of the contract, and it stated that clearly. Gemma told her that she could sign the contract if she wanted, and that eased Luci’s anxieties, making her thank Gemma almost a million times for her help. 

The next day, Luci met up with Samantha for brunch with the signed contract in her hand. Samantha was delighted to see that it was inked with her signature; she told Luci that this won’t be the only thing she was going to sign because so many people are going to want her autograph. That made Luci smile, giggling a tad bit at the thought of it. 

By the beginning of October, Samantha called Luci and informed her that she was booked for an audition for a supporting character in Ocean’s Eight that was to be released late next year. Luci was surprised at how quickly Samantha was able to get her an audition, but they didn’t call her the best for nothing. 

With only two weeks to prepare, Luci put her time and effort into rehearsing the few pages of the script Samantha had sent her. Luci didn’t have a talent coach whatsoever, so she tried her best to see every aspect of her acting, jotting down notes on the margins so she could further better herself. She was hiding her stress and nerves quite well as she tried not to freak out about how insane this opportunity was to even audition. 

When her audition was only two days away, she called Ren for the traditional pep-talk that inspired and motivated her to do better and to try her best because that was all that she could do. She wished that her family was physically next to her so she could feel the comfort and warmth that they provide because after all, they are home and always will be. 

Luckily, some producers were in New York holding auditions, so she didn’t have to fly to California for a day or two. She’d never felt more intimidated and nervous than the moment she stepped inside the medium-sized room that was painted in a light gray tone. A long foldable table was in the middle of the room with a small camcorder on a tripod next to it. Luci’s had many auditions, but this…this was real shit, the real deal. She was standing in front of Hollywood and big name producers who’d never heard of her name until the moment she walked in and they had a glimpse of her portfolio. 

She introduced herself, masking the nerves that were crawling up and down her body with a warm smile—not too bright, but enough to show her gorgeous grin. They asked her to read off of page twenty-three to twenty-five; taking a breath, she gave all that she could. And in her opinion, it’s the best acting she’d ever done, which is saying a lot because she thinks she did quite well after every show of Miss Saigon. 

The producers’ faces were unreadable as they simply looked at one another, writing a few notes on their yellow notepads. Luci wanted to lurk, to see what they were writing as she hoped they weren’t disappointed or had immediately crossed out her name from their list. 

They thanked her for coming in before dismissing her; she thanked them as well, waving as she walked out the door where she released the biggest sigh. It wasn’t from relief because she was still on edge of the result of her audition, but she felt like she had been holding her breath for the ten to fifteen minutes that she was in that room. Her heart was pounding quite sturdily; and if she was being honest, her mind had completely blanked out once they yelled ‘action,’ but that was usual for her. 

Now that it was ten days after her audition and Halloween, Harry practically begged Luci to get out of her apartment. She knew that she couldn’t stay cooped up in her room as she overthought the audition constantly. She began to get headaches from overthinking every single thing she did in that audition, and it drove her insane. 

So, when Harry suggested that she should go to the Halloween party that Daisy was throwing on the rooftop of her building, she dreaded it at first, but the thought of going out was calling her. She assumed Daisy wouldn’t want Luci to be at her party, but she invited the entire cast and a few more people that she knew personally, so it wasn’t like Daisy was going to speak to her. Since it was a party, everyone could bring a guest or a few friends, so that was when Luci begged Harry to attend with her. 

“Please, come with me.” She had her best pouty lip on, looking at him with doe eyes. Just by that look, he almost gave in, but he wasn’t sure if this type of party was for him. Harry was a mellow and chill guy; he didn’t need rooftop parties and unlimited amounts of booze. He was fine with a small gathering, a few movies and board games—now, that was his type of party. “The party would be so much more fun with you there.” 

Harry playfully scoffed. “Please. Luci, I’m the most boring guy there is.” 

Her brows furrowed in disagreement. “No, you’re not. I happen to think you’re quite fun.” He smiled softly at her in appreciation. “Please. We wouldn’t even have to stay that long.” 

He could tell that she wanted, no, needed him to be there with her. She wasn’t very close with her cast mates—despite all the months she’d been part of the production—besides Nina. But Nina knew everyone so Luci would be left awkwardly standing there, waiting for her friend to come back. 

“How long would we stay?” 

Her eyes brightened with hope. “However long you want.” 

“An hour? Hour and a half, tops?” 

“Sounds perfectly fine to me.” 

“And what would we wear?”

Luci was a bit shocked by his question. “You wanna match?” 

“I mean, that would be fun, right?” She nodded, agreeing. “Since it is quite last minute, I say we dress up as the 70s or 80s era. Pretty easy, right?” 

She liked the sound of that. “Yes, let’s do 70s! I wanna raid your closet because I know you have some gems in there.” 

Harry laughed out loud—her favorite laugh that was music to her ears. He knew he had a great sense of fashion, and he’d always go to the thrift store to pick up something that he’d never worn before. It wasn’t like he was not going to wear it, he just needed to be more comfortable with himself to wear the clothes that he buys. So, for now, he settled with black skinny jeans and patterned-print button downs, which is the most ‘flashy’ he’d dress as…for now. 

“I knew I liked you for a reason because I was hoping you’d say 70s.” Luci felt her cheeks warm up before they went to Harry’s apartment. 

It took an hour and a half to find an outfit that Harry liked; it would’ve been shorter, but with Harry’s 70s playlist that was playing in the background, they took breaks to dance and sing. Harry had a beautiful voice, Luci thought; and she wondered if he was ever in a band before or wrote music because he does have an elaborate music taste, and that added to Luci’s liking for him. 

They proceeded to go to Luci’s apartment so Harry could help her find an outfit. He brought his wireless speaker so the music wouldn’t stop; and she continuously threw the articles of clothing onto her bed—where Harry was lying on his stomach—every time he shook his head no. 

With the same amount of time it took Harry to decide on an outfit, Luci settled on hers. She looked in her full-body mirror, twirling around to see if it looked okay and if she was satisfied with it. Harry remained on her bed, admiring how beautiful she looked as he thought that she was way out of his league. As Luci was dancing and prancing around her apartment, Harry was deep in his thoughts; he didn’t know if asking Luci out was the way to go. Not only would he lose her as a friend when or if she rejects him, but he couldn’t bear the ache he would feel in his heart. 

For his own sake, he needed to protect himself before the heartbreak; and if that meant refraining himself from making a move, then that was completely fine to him. 

“Ready?” Luci called out from the doorway. Harry got off the bed, looking her up and down. 

She was wearing peach colored pants that flare at the bottom, sitting high on her waist; a white silk blouse with orange accents, a long brown coat because it was quite chilly outside, and pink glasses that were transparent. He thought she looked absolutely beautiful, and her outfit was meant for her. The colors matched Harry’s outfit as he wore rust-orange pants that sat wide at the bottom, a flashy patterned long-sleeved blouse with the collar matching his pants. Luci gave him a similar pair of glasses as hers, so they weren’t wearing shaded lenses in the nighttime. 

“Yup. You, uh, look really good.” 

Luci smiled, shrugging one shoulder. “Thank you! You look good, too. This color looks amazing on you.” 

Harry looked down at his outfit, hiding the blush that formed on his cheeks. “Thank you. I like it a lot.” 

They headed out and towards Daisy’s apartment building where the rooftop was large enough for everyone to stand comfortably without feeling like they were shoulder-to-shoulder. There were plenty of lounge chairs, and a few tall bar tables next to tall heaters, considering it was just below fifty degrees. 

Some people were making their way towards Daisy's apartment since it was too cold outside, but Harry and Luci decided to stay, both agreeing that the heaters were keeping them warm as they sipped on their drinks. 

“Luci!” Nina walked over towards her, giving her a hug; Luci made sure not to mess up the placement of her fairy wings. 

“You look amazing!” Luci complimented as Nina put her hands on her cheeks, thanking her friend. Luci could tell that Nina was a bit drunk already as her eyes were drooping and she couldn’t stand straight on her own two feet. 

“Harry! I’m so glad you’re here.” He smiled saying hello to her. Nina and Harry met in July when he had gone to see another show. He was giving Luci another bouquet of flowers—the same bundle that he gave her the last time since she told him that she really liked them, and they looked amazing on her windowsill—and she dragged him to find Nina since she was performing the same show. Nina immediately gave Luci that certain look that said ‘he’s really cute,’ and Luci just nodded, giving her an apparent look as well. 

“Did you bring anyone?” Luci asked, knowing that she was talking to a few guys; her favorites, from what Nina told her, was Laurent and Alec—the two guys that are in her Soul Cycle class, one on Monday and the other on Friday. 

Nina shook her head. “No. I wanted to get fucked up today and didn’t want any of my mans see that shit. Oh! Can I take a picture of you two? You both look so cute!” 

Luci looked at Harry, silently asking and he nodded. She stood beside him, not knowing whether to put her arm around his waist. They’d never taken a picture together before, after all the months of knowing each other. Luci handed Nina her phone before she turned on the flash, taking a picture of the two. Harry hesitantly puts his arm around Luci’s shoulder, making her look at him, smiling. She then wrapped her arm around his waist as they both smiled at each other before looking back at the camera. Nina was squealing behind the phone because she just captured the cute and quiet interaction between them that made for a sweet candid. 

Nina handed Luci’s phone back to her before she told her that she was going to talk to some other people. The two women hugged, and Nina said goodbye to Harry. 

Harry leaned into Luci’s side, bending down slightly. “Send me those pictures, yeah?” 

A chill ran through her body at the sound of his voice so close to her ear. “Sure,” she croaked out, sending the pictures to him. 

After a few moments of light conversation and humming the beat of the music, Harry asked, “So, which one is Daisy?” 

Luci looked at him, quite shocked as to what sparked his interest in her, but she didn’t say anything. She looked around until she spotted her in a leather catwoman suit, hugging her body tightly that Luci thought it was cutting off her circulation. But she had to admit that it looked amazing on her. 

“That one.” She slyly pointed at Daisy who was talking to some of her friends. Luci was surprised to see that Samuel wasn’t here, considering that he was part of the cast. Daisy and Samuel seemed to be in their ‘off again’ stage of their relationship; and no one who was part of the cast or who was close to them could keep up with how many times they’d been through that stage, but they seemed to like each other too much to call it quits for good. 

“Hmm. She seems nice.” 

“Yeah, she does—to everyone except me.” They were both looking at Daisy, and it was like Daisy could sense a few eyes on her, so she looked around and made direct eye contact with Luci. She excused herself to her group of friends before making her way towards her and Harry. “Speak of the devil.” Luci sighed, making Harry chuckle. 

“Luci! I’m so glad you made it.” Daisy faked a smile as she greeted Luci with a hug, which surprised both Luci and Harry. Daisy pulled away, immediately locking eyes on this. “Oh, who’s your friend?” Instantly, Luci knew why Daisy was so nice to her; it was because she spotted Harry and didn’t want him to think she was such a bitch. 

With her brows furrowed, Luci shifted a little closer to Harry who was standing there and not saying anything. “This is Harry.” 

Daisy flashed him her stunning smile that wooed almost everyone. “Hi, I’m Daisy.” He shook her hand, introducing himself. “Your outfit looks really good.” She complimented him. 

“Thanks, Luci helped me pick it out.” He smiled at Luci, who was smirking. For a second, Daisy rolled her eyes before she returned to her big smile. 

“Would you like to get a drink with me? I see you’re almost empty.” Daisy’s eyes pointed at his cup, which only had a small sip lingering at the bottom of his clear plastic cup. 

“Uh-”

“C’mon, just one drink?” Her voice was innocent and sweet, nothing like the cruel and rude Daisy that Luci knew all too well. 

What Luci expected Harry to say was that he was okay and that he didn’t want a drink with her, but he responded quite the opposite. 

“Okay, sure.” Luci’s head averted towards Harry as she looked at him with shock and a face asking what the fuck he was doing. But he shrugged as Daisy clapped, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the bar. Luci huffed, watching the two walk away and she was left by herself with a watered down drink and the cold air. 

She figured she’d wait for him to come back to where she was sitting, hoping he wouldn’t take too long. 

But twenty minutes had gone by, and Luci started getting annoyed.  

Thirty minutes, and Luci tells herself that she doesn’t care and mindlessly goes on her phone. 

An hour had gone by when Luci huffed, mentally saying that she does give a shit and goes to find Harry. 

How long could one drink take anyways? Definitely not an hour, Luci thought. She searched the rooftop for the two, only to hope that Harry was looking for her too. After ten minutes of looking around the rooftop, passing her cast mates who were asking her to take a shot with them—she took another one, adding more alcohol into her body—she couldn’t find Harry. She started to think the worst; he could’ve possibly taken Daisy home, or Daisy could have taken him up to her room—either way, she didn’t like any of those options. 

For a minute, she mentally debated if she should check Daisy’s apartment, which would be better since it was warmer indoors than it was out—she was convinced it got colder once Harry left her side—but the negative side of her mind, who was taunting her like the devil on her left shoulder, told her to check if Harry was inside because she wasn’t going to like what she was going to see. 

Either way, she needed to find Harry and she didn’t want to go home without him, so she went inside the building and took the elevator down to Daisy’s floor. There were people walking in and out of her place, so it wasn’t that difficult to find which one was hers. With the same amount of people inside her apartment as there was on the rooftop, Luci made her way through the nice and luxurious apartment. She was just on the edge of tipsy; the drinks with her coworkers had gotten her there. Heading up the stairs, she passed by people who were making out, cuddling on the steps, and talking. 

Once she got to the end of the hallway, she had almost given up on her search for Harry until the door at the end of the hall opened, revealing Harry who was leaving and quietly closing the door. 

Luci stood in the middle with an expressionless face. He hadn’t seen her yet, but the way she wasn’t giving any emotion didn’t mean that she didn’t care; the thoughts in her mind were invading every inch that there was just too much to focus on. 

Harry turned around, stopping in his tracks once he faced her. 

“Hey,” he greeted softly. 

“Hi.” 

“I’m sorry for leaving-”

“Were you…” Luci referred to what was happening inside the room as she couldn’t finish her sentence because the thought and the words simply disgusted her. 

“N-No.”

“Why do you seem unsure?” She was testing him; she heard the hesitancy in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell the truth. 

A new attitude rose him. “Why do you care?” His voice was a tad bit harsher, but he was a little confused on why she was questioning his actions. 

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, crossing her arms, avoiding his question. “I’m going home. Are you coming with or…?” Harry bit the inside of his cheek, remembering that she hadn’t answered his question, so he’ll ask again later. He nodded, and Luci turned around; he followed. 

The entire ride on the subway and walking towards their apartment building was quiet. They didn’t even sit next to each other like they always did; just across one another, avoiding eye contact.

It was when they were both in front and unlocking their doors was when Harry spoke up. 

“Luci.” She stopped her movements, turning around slowly as did he. This time, she looked at him so deeply in the eyes that it was physically difficult for her to take her eyes off him. “Why were you mad at me before we left?” 

On the ride back home, Harry thought about the events at the party. He’d never seen Luci so annoyed at him before, so it got him thinking a lot about what she felt for him. She was jealous, anyone could see that, and he wanted her to say it out loud why she was jealous because he could name a few reasons. 

“Did you have a good time with Daisy?” 

Harry breathed out a chuckle. “You’re jealous,” he stated immediately. 

“Answer my question-”

“Then answer mine.” 

The tension was so thick that with just one small poke of a needle, it would collapse and break. They’d never had this type of conversation before, where the tension was rising and the room felt warm; they were always playful and laughing with each other that neither of them thought they were capable of having this certain type of energy with one another. 

“I was mad because you left me alone at the party…with Daisy of all people,” she said honestly, leaving a few things out. 

“Is that all?” He raised his brows, crossing his arms. 

Luci shook her head. “That’s not how it works, Styles. I answer yours, you answer mine.” 

A smug grin landed on Harry’s face. “Did I have a good time with Daisy?” He repeated her question. “To be honest with you, no. She was pretty drunk, so I took her to her bedroom—that’s why I was in there, She was…nice.” Luci sensed a ‘but’ trailing. “She even asked me if I’d wanna go out some time.”

“What’d you say?” 

He tsked. “Not how it works, Suki.” Luci rolled her eyes, letting out a soft huff. “Hey, they’re your rules.” He chuckled. “Now, answer this: why were you jealous?” 

There was a surge of confidence that Harry’s never felt before; maybe it was because he knew things Luci didn’t know herself, but watching her unfold those realizations was definitely feeding his ego. 

Luci sighed deeply before she started. “Knowing that Daisy could possibly get anyone she wanted was a bit of an insecurity of mine when we were on our way to the party. That was because I knew she’d want you. I mean…look at you, you’re literally so gorgeous.” Harry blushed. “And I knew that it was inevitable that she would ask you to hang out; I was just surprised when you said yes.” 

He nodded. “I rejected her when she asked if I wanted to go out.” A bit of weight lifted from Luci’s shoulders, but not completely as there was still something heavy she’s been wanting to say. “Why’d you hope I’d say no? Besides the obvious that she’s mean and rude to you.” 

Alright, time to fess up, Luci. 

Luci inhaled deeply, hoping her confession wouldn’t have him running for the hills. “Because why would you go out with her when you could go out with me? Like, on a date…” Her anxiety was up to her chin as she locked her hands behind her back, preventing them from shaking any more than they already were. 

That one simple question had answered all of the other questions swirling in his mind; not the ones that were asked in the rapid fire round of questioning and answering under the thick cloud of tension over them, but the ones he asked himself a few months ago when he was doubting that she’d ever felt something for him because all this time, she had felt something, and she just asked him out. 

His heart flipped. “You wanna go on a date with me?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to ask, but I didn’t know if you were interested in me or not,” she said shyly. Luci hadn’t asked someone out before—someone she was really interested in. She’d either wait until they asked her and if they didn’t, she’d move on and pretend that her feelings for them never existed. But Harry was different; seeing him with Daisy tonight had made her realize just how much she felt for him. He made her laugh, smile, and he was such a kind person. 

“I’d love to.” He suddenly answered, taking her back a little. 

She looked at him with wide eyes. “R-Really?” 

“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you too, because I’m very much interested in you, but I didn’t know you were interested, well, until tonight.” Luci giggled. 

“I made it pretty obvious that I was jealous, huh?” 

“A tad bit, but it’s sweet; and I wasn’t gonna go on a date with Daisy. She’s no Luciana Ivy Suki.” He teased, making her face heat up at the sound of her full name coming from his lips. She wanted to kiss him right then and then, wanted to taste the sweet taste that he was storing in his mouth; but she refrained from doing so, figuring that they’d wait until after their date—whenever that was—to wait to kiss him because it would very much be worth the wait. 

“Okay, I’ll, uh, plan the date then.” Her lips turned up, feeling a certain ache on her cheeks already from smiling too much. 

“Can I plan it too?” He genuinely asked. 

“I did ask you, Harry.” She raised her brows teasingly. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll plan the next date then.” He blushed. 

Luci tilted her head, smiling sweetly at his words. “The next date, huh? We haven’t even been on the first date; what makes you think there’ll be a second one.” 

“Oh, love, I think there will be.” Harry stepped closer to her, heart pounding in his chest; Luci gulped at the closeness. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her by the way he was looking at her intently. And for a moment, she was gonna give in and say ‘fuck waiting,’ and kiss his pink lips until he leaned forward and kissed her soft cheek for a brief moment. “Can’t wait for our date. Let me know what the plans are.” 

“O-Okay.” The touch of his lips on her skin had stunned her, and she wanted them back on her instantly. 

Harry opened his door, giving Luci a small smile before walking in. She started to slowly back into her open apartment, holding onto the door handle tightly. Before they closed their doors, they stared at one another, admiring each other before they said: 

“Sweet dreams, Luciana.” 

“Sweet dreams, Harry.” 

November 8, 2017 

Harry strongly knocked three times on the door right across from his own door with a bag full of takeout, another bag full of snacks, and a small brown bag that had a white box inside. 

The door swung open; Luci smiled at the person behind it. 

“Happy Birthday, love!” Harry greeted.

“Aww, Harry, thank you so much.” She was surprised that he remembered, let alone bring a celebration to her as she eyed the bags in his hands. Luci turned twenty-six today; her day was full of greetings from her cast mates, her family, and FaceTime calls from her brother and parents. She was going to make a trip back home for a day or two since she had to perform on Friday, but she was going to see her parents during Thanksgiving, so FaceTime calls had to suffice till then. 

Stepping to the side, she invited him in. He hugged her tightly, kissing the side of her head as her face heated up. They walked to the kitchen, and Harry set the bags on the countertop, unraveling the tie of the takeout. 

“First, I’m sorry for just showing up unannounced and invading your place.” He added a breathy laugh. 

“No, it’s okay! You’re welcomed any time,” she genuinely said; Harry made a mental note of that. 

“Second, this is not a date. I know you didn’t want today to be our first date, but I couldn’t just sit in my apartment and not do anything on your special day! So, here I am.” 

“Here you are.” Luci couldn’t help the warmth that rushed to her face and neck. 

“Third, I brought Chinese since it’s your favorite food. And I just so happen to know a lovely place that has the best Chinese in Brooklyn, which is my favorite place that I’ll take you to soon, but know that you’re so incredibly special because I never take anyone there.” He took the takeaway boxes out of the bag, opening them up as steam released from the boxes. 

Luci leaned against the countertop. “And what makes me so special?” Teasingly fluttering her eyes. 

Harry stopped what he was doing, looking at her intently. “You’re so sweet, funny, and incredibly kind. But most importantly, you’re grounded and humble; and you’re special to me.” His dimpled poked through his skin as he smiled, meaning every word. 

Heart flipping, stomach in knots, and tears washing over her eyes, Luci walked around the counter to hug him, head resting against his chest as she whispered a ‘thank you’ in his ear. 

For the rest of their night, they ate the authentic Chinese food while Harry told her about the restaurant he got it from, including the workers who owned the place. They also talked about work, teased, flirted, and bantered about whether fruit belonged in salads—they do not. 

Harry gave her the brown paper bag that held her gift, and she opened it with shock. He gifted her a gold circle pin that was customized with her initials engraved in the middle, and the saying ‘Shine bright, Dream even bigger,’ separated at the top and bottom. He’d noticed that she had pins on her travel backpack, and would occasionally wear one on the side of her baseball cap. It was the most thoughtful and attentive gift she’d ever received, and that earned Harry a tight hug and many thank you’s. 

After the night was coming close to eleven-thirty, Harry called it a night as he still had to wake up early tomorrow for work. Their goodbye at her door was a long one that was filled with tight and long hugs as they swayed for a moment, enjoying the warmth of each other. They promised each other that they would find a day that was open in their schedule so they could finally have their date; they even pinky swore on it—Harry kissed her pinky, vowing. 

Luci watched Harry open his door before walking inside his apartment; she blew him a kiss as he caught it, placing his palm on his cheek, making her smile. 

As they closed their doors, Luci couldn’t help but think that she just had the best birthday ever. 

November 17, 2017 

Luci’s leg nervously shook as she waited for her digital clock to hit 2:30 p.m. 

Today was Luci and Harry’s first date, and will hopefully be written down in history. She’d been anticipating this day for a while now, and she couldn’t believe the day was finally here. The few days after she asked him out, they tried settling on a date, but the two weeks after Halloween were booked for them. 

Luci was performing most days out of the week and Harry needed to figure out his teaching plans since it was close to Thanksgiving break and winter break. But when Harry found out that he had a random Friday off, he immediately told her, and to their luck, Luci wasn’t performing that day. So, they were settled on a day, and Luci couldn’t wait to take him out. 

She told him that he was going to need to dress warm since they were going to be outside for most of the day, so he opted for light blue jeans that were a bit baggy, a white t-shirt, a black coat that had faux fur on the thick collar and cuffs; since he, assumingly, was going to be walking around a lot, he wore black old school vans. Harry looked in the mirror, ruffling his hair in his hands to get it to stick the way he wanted it to. His hands slightly shook as he was fixing his hair, and he realized he hadn’t felt this nervous in a while; it had been a while since he’d gone on a date with someone he truly liked. 

When it hit two-thirty, Harry opened his door and locked it before taking a step forward. He took a breath, shaking his nerves off; as he was just about to knock, he heard Luci shuffling around inside her apartment as her keys jingled in her hands and her boots thudded against the wood. He put his hand down, thinking it would be nice for her to just see him right when she opened the door. After a few moments, Luci felt like she had everything she needed, so she swung her door open to only find Harry standing right in front of it, hiding behind a familiar bouquet of flowers—her favorite ones from him. 

“Hello.” He smiled, dimples clearly present. Luci felt like she could cry on the spot from just being so overwhelmed with her nerves and the anticipation leading up to this day, this moment. “These are for you. Hope you never get tired of them.” Harry handed her the bouquet, and she hugged them to her chest. 

“Harry, thank you. Believe me, I would never.” The start of her cheek aches had begun, and it had been about thirty seconds into their date. But cheek aches with Harry were her favorite type of aches, so she didn’t really mind it. 

She went back inside her apartment as Harry followed her in; she put the flowers in a vase before fixing them a little, making sure none of them were drooping down on the edge of the glass vase. Placing them on her windowsill, where she usually puts the flowers Harry gifted her, she smiled gratefully at them before turning her head and smiling at Harry, extra grateful. 

“Shall we go?” He asked, and she nodded. 

Harry followed Luci down to the subway station as she got on the M train. In eleven minutes, there were four stops; the subway was quite packed with no available seats, so the two stood, holding onto the silver bar in between them with their bodies close in proximity as they stood. Harry took the chance to look down at her, simply admiring her beauty as she mindlessly looked around, not noticing his eyes lingering on her. 

When their stop was on Essex Street, they got off, transferring onto the F train towards Coney Island; and Harry suddenly knew exactly where they were going. He didn’t say anything but smile. The entirety of the ride took forty-two minutes with twenty-two stops; they were able to sit down next to each other after the first stop. 

Their bodies were close—thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder. Luci took out her wired earphones—figuring they were going to be there for a while, why not listen to some music—handing Harry the left one as she put the right one in. She played Fleetwood Mac, Tame Impala, ABBA, Lorde, and Hozier—a few artists they’d bonded over—as they both swayed in their seats, making up some dance routine with their arms and shoulders. They laughed and ignored the weird looks of bystanders, who were trying to have a peaceful train ride to their destination, but Luci and Harry were too focused on each other to care. 

Once it was their stop, Luci put her headphones and phone in her purse before they got off and walked side by side one another. Harry had the urge to pull her close to his side, to hold her soft hand, but he was too shy to make a move. When they walked up the stairs to exit the station, their fingers brushed together—practically bumping into one another. Luci confidently made the move and linked their fingers together; Harry looked down and back up at her as he blushed, squeezing her hand lightly. 

“Is this okay?” She asked, looking up at him. 

“It’s perfect.” He meant it; the way her small hands fit so perfectly into his, as if he was protecting them. Holding her hand was comforting, and it surprised him at how comfortable he was to be making physical contact with her; but ever since he met Luci, he’s surprised himself quite a few times already. 

They finally reached their first date hotspot, and Harry assumed right as to where she was taking him. 

Three wide entryways painted in navy blue and orange had ‘Luna Park’ painted in orange at the top. Above the entryways were large flower-like and crescent moons that lit up during the nighttime, giving the boardwalk the most illuminating glow. The large Ferris wheel could not be missed as the carts swung and rattled back and forth. On top of the excitement of the amusement park, there were screams from people who were on the roller coasters, and the smell of fair food that they couldn’t wait to devour. 

Luci paid for their entrance admission, and Harry frowned, wanting to pay, but they both agreed that they could go half on the food, and games and rides. 

They felt like little kids who were at Disneyland, minus the famous castle and Main Street music, as they walked around the park to check it out as the wood beneath them creaked with every step while they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. 

“Everything looks really fun,” Harry exclaimed.

“Right! Do you wanna play some games first or ride on some rides?” 

“How about we get the rides out of the way? You look very excited to go on them, and I have a feeling there’s no way you’re not going on them without me.” Harry assumed, quite accurately. 

Luci put her hand on her heart teasingly. “You know me too well.” Harry chuckled. “Okay, let’s go on some rides!” She dragged him to the admissions booth, and Harry paid for both of their passes for rides. 

They waited in line for the ‘Cyclone,’ which was the biggest rollercoaster besides the Wonder Wheel. Luci sensed Harry’s nerves as he kept looking up at the ride, and he couldn’t keep still. 

She squeezed his hand tightly. “Harry, you don’t have to go on the ride with me.” She was starting to feel concerned for him because his hands were becoming damp, which she didn’t care for, and he kept bouncing his leg everytime the line stopped moving. 

He raised his brows, and brushed away his nerves to the side but not very far. “No, no. It’s okay—I’ll be okay.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, he nodded. “I’m sure. We’re here to have some fun, not be nervous, right?” 

“Yeah. But I’ll admit, I was nervous before we left,” she said, hoping to change the subject to distract him from the fast ride above them. 

“Why’s that?” He curled his lips into his mouth. 

“This is our first date, I want it to go well,” she said honestly. It had been a while since she’d been on a real date—the last one being in college—but to be nervous for a date was a feeling she wasn’t familiar with. 

“Think it’s going quite well, don’t you think?” He gave her a toothless grin, brows raised. Luci nodded, happy that he was always reassuring her and making her feel comfortable. “Plus, I was nervous too—still am, if I’m being honest.” 

“Yeah?” 

He nodded his head as if his nerves were the most obvious thing. “Oh, yeah. I want this to go well too. But by the way we’ve been friends for months before this happened, I think we’ll be okay, Ci.” Her eyes slightly widened at the new nickname that she’d never heard; Harry instantly noticed her shock. “I-Is it okay if I call you that?” To be honest, he’s always wanted to call her some unique nickname that would only be for him. ‘Luci’ seemed to be the name everyone called her, ‘Ana’ was her brother’s name for her, so the last syllable in her name seemed to be free. 

“No one’s ever called me that.” And she thinks that’s extra special. “But yes, please call me that.” She approved, and he smiled. 

It was their turn to get onto the Cyclone, and Harry suddenly didn’t feel so nervous anymore as they were being safely strapped into their rollercoaster cart. The ride was quite high, looking over the blue water and Coney Island Beach; the view was quite gorgeous, even in the middle of a cold November day in New York. 

They screamed as the ride dropped; Luci held up one of her arms as the other held tightly on Harry’s hand as he grasped the metal bar, afraid to bravely put his arm up like his beautiful date. 

When the ride was finished, they had a rush of exhilaration, wanting to go on the other rides. So, they did; they laughed, screamed, and were the most carefree people they’d ever been in their entire lives because they brought it out of each other. 

After they filled their rollercoaster crave, they ate and talked. Individually, they were both worried about this part of the date where they had to talk because they’d been hanging out for so many months and getting to know each other that they thought coming up with conversation topics were going to be difficult. But it was natural for them; they didn’t put any pressure on themselves to speak every single minute of the date. Instead, they relished in the comfortable silence they seemed to form, not minding it one bit. 

The sky had turned into a cotton candy pink from a bright blue quite quickly. Luci wanted to watch the sunset, but was a bit sad that they hadn’t played the majority of the games; but Harry told her it was okay, and they would come back another time when the park reopened again during the Spring. 

Hand in hand, they walked to the beach that was just across the street from Luna Park. The bright lights from the park were becoming distant as they continued to walk further away from it. Since it was mid November, there weren’t that many people out because of the cold temperature—just the few people who were passing by along with others who decided to watch the sunset as well. 

“Tell me about your last relationship?” Luci suddenly asked; Harry looked at her amusingly. 

“Like now? In the middle of our date?” He teased, making her laugh. 

“I mean, if you want to. I was just curious.” 

Harry thought for a moment. “Hmm. My last serious relationship was over a year ago. We broke up right before I started teaching at the middle school.” 

“What happened?” She asked softly, not wanting to pry, but she was also curious. 

“We weren’t good for each other anymore. I guess life happened, and we turned into people we weren’t proud of. We grew apart; she was more in love with her career than she was in love with me. Couldn’t say I was the best boyfriend either,” he explained, not getting into too much detail. But he’d neglected her without even realizing it, causing his ex to occupy herself with work. “So, we broke up. And it felt like it was a sign from the universe that was holding me back from venturing out because I immediately got a job at the school when I had been putting off finding a proper teaching job.” He breathed out a chuckle, remembering the memory.

He’ll admit, his last relationship had hurt him quite a lot. He’d never felt such pain before, and it had made him quiet and reserved. But how it ended made him not seek out to find a relationship. For a while, he didn’t like the idea of love because it had only hurt you. But then he met Luci, and at first, he was hesitant to even be her friend because just at first glance, he was ruined, and he didn’t want to go through that process again; but here they are now. And maybe, he’ll tell her this, but for now, he doesn’t want to scare her off. 

“Do you still talk to her?” 

“Nope. Last I heard of her, she was engaged to this woman she met a few weeks after our breakup, but I have no clue if they’re still together.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What about you?” 

“My last relationship?” Harry nodded. “To be honest, I’ve never been in a serious one…like ever.” 

He raised his brows in shock. “Really?” 

“Yeah. The furthest I’ve gone that was close to a relationship was a friends-with-benefits towards the end of college, which didn’t end well.” Harry sensed her mood change a bit, so he didn’t pry on asking what happened in the past. The bad memories had filled her mind, making her frown, but she pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to think about them at the moment because the timing is unbelievable. “That’s that; I don't have any exciting or tea-spilling relationship stories.” 

For a moment, she didn’t want to jinx her luck, but she imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship with Harry—despite it only being their first date. Her mind took her to a fantasy that was so special and sweet because that was how she pictured what it would be like to be with him. 

They sat in silence as the sound of the waves crashing and the seagulls above them took over their hearing. It was nice and refreshing to sit side by side, taking in the beautiful scenery that the world provided. Sunsets had always made Luci feel a vast amount of gratitude towards the world and the people around her; the opportunities, the things that she got to see—they all wouldn’t have happened if the sun didn't go down, promising a new tomorrow. 

Suddenly, Harry stood up, brushing the sand that had gotten on his jeans. He reached out to Luci, who was still sitting down and looking up at him. 

“C’mon. Let’s walk,” he suggested. She grabbed his hand as he helped her up, and she patted away the soft sand that had stuck to her black jeans. 

They held hands as they walked the shore of Coney Island Beach, walking towards where the sun was departing from the world. Once the sky had turned into a purple and orange blended masterpiece, Harry stopped walking, facing Luci as he took a deep breath. 

“I’m trying…really hard to hold back.” He held her cold hands in his, lightly pushing and pulling her towards him. He’d been thinking about it for the entirety of their date, and he just wanted to pull her in and kiss her whenever.

Luci shook her head softly as she stopped swaying; her eyes flickered towards his mouth, glad she wasn’t the only one thinking the same thing. She dreamed of this—had been wanting to press her lips against his for quite some time 

“Don’t hold back. Please, don’t hold back.” Her tone and eyes were pleading for him to not refrain himself from the most magical feeling. Luci let go of his hands, wrapping them around his waist as if she was giving him permission to kiss her. 

He placed his hands on her shoulders, gently rubbing down to her elbows before he trailed them back up and to the sides of her neck and jaw. Placing a soft kiss to her forehead before placing his on Luci’s, he inhaled deeply, taking in the saltiness of the ocean next to them and the sweetness of her skin. 

Luci fluttered her eyes closed, and Harry took that opportunity to connect his lips with hers. They molded their lips together as if it were one, tasting one another for the first time. The feeling of their passionate kiss felt like the ocean had synchronized together, forming the most beautiful and largest wave for the most dedicated surfer; and when it crashed, it was powerful, breathtaking, and strong—like no other wave could top this one, no one could top this one of a kind kiss. 

Harry smiled into the kiss, making Luci smile and giggle as well. Her stomach fluttered, hugging him tighter to her as his thumbs gently caressed her soft skin. Nothing could top this feeling. 

Pulling back, Harry breathed out a giddy chuckle before placing a few more pecks on her lips as if he was dreaming the first time. Luci opened her eyes as did he; she looked into his and found an immense amount of adoration within him. 

“I like you…a lot.” 

She leaned her forehead against his chest, cheekily smiling and restricting herself from squealing before she looked back up at him. “I like you too, Harry.” 

Harry flashed her his smile, something that he couldn’t wipe off his face, not like he tried. Nowadays, he was smiling a lot more, and he was one hundred percent sure Luci was the cause of it. 

Kissing her forehead, Harry hugged her to his chest as they watched the sun go down. With her face pressed against his chest, she heard the erratic heartbeat that was pounded heavily; and in that moment, she knew exactly how that felt—to feel so much for one person that your heart could fall out—and she only hoped he could feel hers because it was pounding just the same. 

As they held each other tightly, they both knew that this was going to be something special. 

And they were all in for the ride.

an exciting chapter! come talk to me about your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3 next chapter will be up next saturday!

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'Solar Power' - Lorde

Lorde’s latest album, Solar Power, is more mellow and less drama, to say the least...

Farewelling the messy, vengeful coming of age of her 2017 magnum opus, Melodrama, the Kiwi singer/songwriter has now reinvented herself as a beachy keen sun goddess or, to use her words, a ‘prettier Jesus.’

‘Her feet are bare at all times She’s sexy, playful, feral and free,’ she told fans in her recent newsletter. ‘She’s a modern girl in a deadstock bikini […] Her skin is glowing, her lovers many.’

At just 24, after two critically-acclaimed albums, Ella Yelich O’Connor is at an enviable point in her career where she can do anything and be anyone she wants to be. She’s forever transformed the pop landscape, her influence permeating through the charts even today. You can hear it in the youthful angst of Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘driver’s license,’ in the dark, electro-pop minimalism of Billie Eilish’s earlier tracks, and even in some of Taylor Swift’s oeuvre (cf. the sparse beat melody of ‘You Need to Calm Down’ with the behemoth ‘Royals’).

Not that O’Connor is interested in icon status. ‘Now if you're looking for a saviour, well, that's not me,’ she swoons on the sprawling first tracks, ‘The Path, ‘You need someone to take your pain for you?/Well, that's not me.’

Much like Billie on Happier Than Ever, the singer spends a lot of time reflecting on her discomfort with fame and its inherent emptiness, longing to escape it.

She recalls the night of the 2016 MET Gala on ‘The Path’ (’Arm in a cast at the museum gala/Fork in my purse to take home to my mother/Supermodels all dancing 'round a pharaoh's tomb), imagined like a fever dream. She pinpoints the moment things changed on the lo-fi, Lana-esque shimmer of ‘California’ when Carole King presented her with Song of the Year at the 2014 Grammys, before bidding goodbye to all the ‘bottles, all the models/Bye to the clouds in thе skies that all hold no rain,’ echoing the anti-consumerist sentiment of her most famous hit. On the sweeping, starry-eyed ‘The Man with the Axe,’ she cringes at the memory of ‘Dutifully fallin' apart for the Princess of Norway.’

By the time we reach the psychedelic finale, ‘Oceanic Feeling,’ O’Connor has retired the goth cherry-black lipstick that so came to define her early on in her career, now ‘gathering dust in a drawer/I don’t need her anymore/’Cos I’ve got this power.’

O'Connor’s writing can be downright beautiful at times: You can see it in the ‘overripe peaches’ of her cheeks and in the ‘acid green, aquamarine’ of the water on the title track; in the sinister beauty of California with its ‘golden body’ and ‘cool hand around my neck.’

But such gems are overshadowed by bland production, a startling lack of self-awareness, and a rather fast and loose interpretation of satire.

O'Connor hews so closely to the wellness motifs she explores throughout Solar Power, that it’s hard to tell if she’s being serious or not. Psychedelic garlands, sun salutations, mood rings, sage and crystals... it’s very dated commentary and all so on the nose, when satire becomes all-out parody.

It’s hard to interrogate a culture and take the piss out of it when you’re so deeply entrenched in it.

As much as O’Connor scoffs at celebrity news, she’s still hanging out with It Girl Cazzie David and her family in their fancy pad. She rolls her eyes at the hundreds of gowns she’s amassed all the years, but wears a super-expensive yellow Collina Strada two-piece in the video for ‘Solar Power.’ She also calls out a famous ex on ‘Dominoes,’ how she heard through the grapevine ‘that you were doing yoga/With Uma Thurman's mother/Just outside of Woodstock/Now you're watering all the flowers/You planted with your new girlfriend/Outside on the rooftop.’ She’s jaded by fame and celebrity, as she brings up in almost every interview, and has just completed a week-long residency on The Late Late Show with The World’s Most Overgrown Theatre Kid Who’s Thrusting at my Vehicle.

Although she longs to escape fame, she hasn’t fully untethered herself from its trappings, either, which is strange coming from the girl who once mocked the beautiful people for their Cristal, Maybachs and tigers on a gold leash.

Just as eyeroll-inducing is the Robyn (yes, that Robyn) cameo on ‘Secrets from a Girl (Who’s Seen It All),’ completely wasted in the role of existential flight attendant and forced to say such lines as: ‘Your emotional baggage can be picked up at carousel number two/Please be careful so it doesn't fall onto someone you love.’ And also, how do you not credit Robyn??

This line from ‘Stoned at the Nail Salon,’ too, is maddening: (‘Cause all the music you loved at sixteen you'll grow out of’). It’s a strangely snobbish and superficial take, one I’ve never quite understood myself. Is still listening to emo and N.E.R.D and Incubus like I did back in high school and in my early 20s a true measure of maturity, or lack thereof? There are fans of O’Connor who are still bumping Pure Heroine just as they did when they were 16.

In the quest to appear older, cooler, more mature, O’Connor presents herself as a rather preachy and insufferable figure at times, like that one friend who’s suddenly made pot the basis of their whole identity after smoking one bowl, who thinks their ramblings while high are somehow deep and profound. No surprise that the singer considers this a ‘weed album.’

Such biting satire and sharp observation is also let down by unimaginative arrangements.

Solar Power attempts to look back on the sun-kissed indie pop of the 90s and early 2000s, which is kind of ironic since a lot of us older Millennials listened to this stuff when we were teenagers (and still do).

‘The Path’ uses a mix of Jewel and Natalie Imbruglia’s 'Torn’ as a blueprint. ‘Stoned at the Nail Salon’ is a shameless cut and paste of Lana’s ‘Wild at Heart.’ ‘Leader of a New Regime’ is the obligatory climate change song that offers no real insight or solutions.

The title track is several songs rolled into one: Primal Scream’s ‘Loaded,’ Jack Johnson’s ‘Taylor,’ Len’s ‘Steal My Sunshine,’ All Saints’ ‘Pure Shores’ and George Michael’s ‘Freedom ‘90.’ ‘Secrets from a Girl (Who’s Seen It All),’ meanwhile, sounds exactly like ‘Solar Power,’ which is unbelievably lazy even by Jack Antonoff’s standards. ‘The Man with the Axe,’ however, has a sleepy, psychedelic feel that belongs on a much better album.

Made up of bohemian chords and a dreamy choir that includes the likes of Phoebe Bridgers and Clairo, along with the occasional drum machine, the songs are pretty, wistful but ultimately dull the more they drag on, even for an album as lowkey and intimate as Solar Power.

The moody, sullen teenager of Pure Heroine and heartbreak queen of Melodrama was eventually going to grow up. O’Connor doesn’t owe it to us to be relatable, but having built so much of her brand on relatability and non-conformist beliefs, it can be quite jarring listening to Solar Power.

Like most people in their 20s, O’Connor thinks her existentialism is deep when it’s actually pretty shallow, insipid and really says nothing at all. The writing is not quite Matty Healy-levels of pretension (God for-fucking-bid), but it still manages to rub you the wrong way. There’s nothing worse than an album that tries to be too zeitgeisty.

And although O’Connor has hit back at critics who have accused her of making a ‘Jack Antonoff record,’ his influence throughout the album is undeniable, exhausting his grab-bag of tender acoustics and sprawling noir that have permeated through recent releases from Clairo, Taylor Swift, St. Vincent and Lana Del Rey. The word ‘meandering’ comes up a lot in reviews for Solar Power, and it couldn’t be more apt as O’Connor and Antonoff cycle through the same tones and melodies in the most lazy and uninspired way possible.

No one was expecting another Pure Heroine or Melodrama, but with all the creative freedom in the world, O’Connor made the greatest misstep of all: she made a boring album, one that will inevitably fade into the ether. Unfortunately, Solar Power is, to quote one of Antonoff’s collaborators, a summer bummer (No pun intended... much)

- Bianca B.

[diorchitect]

Serpentine Pavilions

As you know, since the year 2000, the Serpentine Gallery in London invites a different architect from around the globe to design an annual pavilion set to be built at the entrance/garden of such place. The gallery gives them a budget and total freedom of design, however, it does require them a sitting area to have lectures, eat, contemplate the gardens and so on.

Since I wanted a justification and say why my personal favorite is the best, I decided to rank every one of them. Listen, I have my personal preferences when it comes to architecture but I tried to be a little bit more neutral here. 

So here they are, from worst to best:

20. The lounge (2010). Jean Nouvel.

Sir, you were commissioned to design a pavilion; this is a sports bar/lounge area, visitors are feeling excluded. Please, leave the room.

19. The mountain (2004). MVRDV.

These architects ignored their budget and their pavilion was never built; they wanted to cover the gallery under a huge mountain but, why would you persuit that artistic idea when Christo already exists?

18. The tunnel (2015). Selgas Cano.

This tunnel simply goes to nowhere. You enter and there’s not so much to do in there... then you go out.

17. The stone hill (2019). Junya Ishigami.

Half of Ishigami’s idea was borrowed from SAANAS’ pavilion from ten years earlier. But the hillside effect outside and underneath were kind of cute.

16. The theatre (2007). Kjetil Thorsen & Olafur Eliasson.

This was just so… over designed…

15. The chapel (2016), Bjarke Ingels.

This is a great entrance hall to the gallery, I give him that. However, Mr. Bjarke “idea” was not something new, Sou Fujimoto had a similar aproach three years earlier.

14. The old school roof (2005). Alvaro Siza & Edoardo Souto de Moura.

These two were like, “just call the engineer”.

13. The balloon (2006). Rem Koolhaas.

This was one of the few pavilions that didn’t require a huge effort to be built, but it did have an effective impact on the landscape. Take a note, MVRDV.

12. The terrace (2003). Oscar Niemeyer.

Somehow, Oscar Niemeyer made a pavilion about himself… but it was great. A little bit less of its “wine tasting room” vibe would have been great.

11. The donut (2014). Smiljan Radic.

Playful, useful and family friendly.

10. The structure (2002). Toyo Ito.

Toyo Ito said “I’m gonna give you structure, I’m gonna give you views and something for the architecture students to copy over and over again”.

9. The garden (2011). Peter Zumthor.

Zumthor decided that the gallery garders were too sterile, so he gave then an actual garden to contemplate.

8. The mirror (2009). SAANA.

Sejima and Nishizawa know western architects are too invasive, so they tried to deliver the less possible: a roof that hiddens with the reflection of the garden.

7. The Maya ball field (2008). Frank Gehry.

He really paid respect to the gallery behind by making it the pavilion’s focal point. Not to mention the grandstand was used for a great variety of activities.

6. The origami (2001). Daniel Libeskind.

This structure just has so many posibilites. You bring your kids, they play around; you have a conference, you have a shelter, you want a sculputure for your gallery, you got it.

5. The 3D sketch (2013). Sou Fujimoto.

Fujimoto sketched a bunch thin lines for his pavilion, then he explained it to his team and said “I don’t want any strange structural elements to appear and fuck my idea”. And they made it happen.

4. The tent (2000). Zaha Hadid.

This was the first Serpertine Pavilion ever. Actually, the gallery only wanted a tent to celebrate their 30th anniversary but they wanted Hadid to design it. She had a very limited budget but that didn’t interfere to make a statement of her work.

3. The tree (2017). Francis Kéré.

Unlike other architects, Mr. Kéré had a very personal aproach for the pavilion; unlike Ingels, Kéré did have a concept. You see, since he was a child, he and his neighbors use to gather around a big tree and, underneath its shade, do a lot of different activities; social and school activities, even medical. That’s what he wanted the visitors to experience.

2. The excavation (2012). Herzog, de Meuron & Ai Weiwei.

The only pavilion underground, covered by a water mirror, a fountiain; as if they were trying to do a newer version of a classical garden. Just brilliant.

1. The celosía (2018). Frida Escobedo. 

Unlike many of her predecessors, Frida Escobedo doesn’t have a particular “style” and her work isn’t very much known outside México. Her pavilion isn’t about her but it shows how great designer she is. It really has every requirement the Serpentine Gallery expects from the commisioners; it’s a bridge to the gallery, it’s a place to be in, it’s an object to be contemplated and to contemplate its sorroundings, it’s an imaginitive montage of simple materials; it is a great piece of architecture.

[archinform]

The theater that never was

Max Reinhardt Theatre, proposed, New York City

1927-1929

Joseph Urban, Architect

Joseph Urban (1872-1933) c. 1915, architect, illustrator, and scenic designer

Joseph Urban cut his artistic teeth in fin-de-siecle Vienna, amid the city’s neo-baroque splendor and a maelstrom of artistic activity. He would be influenced by symbolism, art nouveau, the Vienna Secession, and the first stirrings of modernism in the capital. In New York, he would design a showroom for the display and sale of Wiener Werkstatte objects. He would serve as principal scenic designer for both the Metropolitan Opera and the Ziegfeld Follies. In his time, he was so famous that, when he checked into a hospital during his illness in the early 1930s, he would use an assumed name.

Among Urban’s unrealized projects, a new home for the Metropolitan Opera and a theater for director and impresario Max Reinhardt offered tantalizing glimpses of artistic and theatrical possibility. Due to the Depression, his project for Reinhardt’s theater never came to fruition. However, another theater project, the Ziegfeld Theatre (1927) in Manhattan, showed his unconventional design concepts, which included surrounding the audience with a painted environment, the world’s largest mural. His Reinhardt Theatre would have featured the world’s tallest proscenium, and would have expanded the stage area around the sides of the auditorium, merging audience and actors.

Few of Urban’s architectural works remain today. His archives, housed at Columbia University, help to preserve the artistic genius of a designer and artist who had become little-known. The Joseph Urban Collection online showcases and provides a guide to this collection.

Urban straddled two worlds: architecture and theater. On the one hand, there was an innate theatricality to Urban's architecture – theatrical in the sense of being dramatic and playful, and theatrically conceived as virtual stage settings in which real people are characters moving through carefully designed spaces. 

Aronson, Arnold, “Architect of Dreams: The Theatrical Vision of Joseph Urban.”

http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/eresources/archives/rbml/urban/architectOfDreams/text.html#theater

Joseph Urban Archives, Columbia University. http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/eresources/archives/rbml/urban/

For theater buildings in New York, wedged into narrow spots on crowded streets, Urban felt there was a particular challenge that could be met through designing the public face of the building "around the electric light sign and incidentally the fire–escape and the marquee." The proposed Max Reinhardt Theatre… intended for the productions of the innovative German director but unfortunately never built, was perhaps the epitome of this philosophy. The facade was to be covered in a skin of Vitrolite, "a gleaming black glass." Cutting horizontally across this surface was to be a pyramid of six fire escapes outlined in gold metal–work with white panels that would contain advertising signs, while the center of the façade would be bisected by a tower of gold grillwork containing the emergency stairs and which was topped with a delicate, perforated late–gothic spire. The result, at least on paper, was a facade of dramatic contrasts which radiated like a gleaming beacon into the New York City night. "A decorative scheme of such force," he explained, becomes a necessity when the theater has to compete with the sheer bulk and height of surrounding skyscrapers. It is far too easy for a low facade to be crushed and lost in the confusion of metropolitan building."

 Aronson, Arnold, “Architect of Dreams: The Theatrical Vision of Joseph Urban.”

http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/eresources/archives/rbml/urban/architectOfDreams/text.html#theater

Joseph Urban Archives, Columbia University. http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/eresources/archives/rbml/urban/

Joseph Urban Archives, Columbia University. http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/eresources/archives/rbml/urban/ 

Plan of proposed Max Reinhardt Theatre, New York. Ryerson and Burnham Architecture Archive, Art Institute of Chicago.

Max Reinhardt (1873-1943), 1911, theater and film director, theatrical producer.

Writing for the June 23 “Talk of the Town,” Murdock Pemberton anticipated the construction of a new theatre to be developed by famed Austrian director/producer Max Reinhardt and designed by Austrian-American architect, illustrator and scenic designer Joseph Urban:

Pemberton, Murdock, “Modern Showcase,” n.d. Source: A New Yorker State of Mind, August 2017. https://newyorkerstateofmind.com/2017/08/

Ziegfeld Theatre, New York, 1927

Urban, with Thomas W. Lamb, designed the Ziegfeld Theatre, named for the famed Broadway impresario Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr., who financed its construction with backing from William Randolph Hearst. It was built in 1926-1927 at the northwest corner of Sixth Avenue and Fifty-fourth Street.

With a seating capacity of 1,638, the theatre opened February 2, 1927 with the musical Rio Rita. itss second show was its most famous - Jerome Kern’s landmark musical Showboat, which opened December 27, 1927 and ran for 572 performances. The theatre was demolished in 1966 to make way for a skyscraper, the Fisher Brothers’ Burlington House.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziegfeld_Theatre_(1927)

Ziegfeld Theatre: facade and auditorium mural

Detail of mural, Ziegfeld Theatre model. Columbia Digital Library Collections.

http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/eresources/archives/rbml/urban/html/proj-13702-gallery.html

The Ziegfeld’s murals were said to be the largest oil paining in the world. A medieval fantasy celebrating life and love decorated the uninterrupted curves of the elliptical auditorium.

Loring, John, Joseph Urban. New York: Harry N. Abrams, 2010, p. 51; illustration p. 144.

Joseph Urban Archives, Columbia University. http://www.columbia.edu/cu/lweb/eresources/archives/rbml/urban/

Urban in his New York office, 1920

JOSEPH URBAN, the Vienna-born architect who died in 1933, designed furniture, stage sets, interiors, decorative objects and entire buildings….

But Joseph Urban managed to design sets for the Metropolitan Opera and the Ziegfeld Follies at the same time he was designing buildings for their companies, a neat trick indeed. His remarkable career is far too little appreciated today - in part because none of the design realms in which Urban worked could quite claim him as their own. His career as a set designer, as well as his tendency to give his buildings something of a stage-set quality, made him a bit suspect in architectural circles, and he did not leave an oeuvre of set designs or furniture designs quite large enough to make him a giant in either of those worlds.

Goldberger, Paul, “At the Cooper-Hewitt, Designs of Joseph Urban,” New York Times, Section 1, Page 75, Dec. 20, 1987. Retrieved from:

https://www.nytimes.com/1987/12/20/arts/at-the-cooper-hewitt-designs-of-joseph-urban.html

[nelson-riddle-me-this]

multiples of 7 and also 81

7. If you could watch one t.v. show for the rest of your life, what would it be?

O gosh, maybe M*A*S*H (1972-83). It’s intelligent, witty, silly, heartfelt, dramatic, and there are so many episodes. The Simpsons (1989-present) is a consideration, but the newer episodes bug me - and since they canned Alf Clausen, the music’s gone downhill.

14. What television show would you like to be a regular on?

Probably a fun and respectable multi-camera sitcom like One Day at a Time (2017-2020?)

21. A show that you started watching but then stopped? What was the reason?

Early in quarantine I started watching Designing Women (1986-93) but stopped during the summer. I liked the feminist angle and the confidence of the lead, but the show’s blatant racism made me stop watching. The one black regular is a subordinate deliveryman who the writers delight in making squirm and treating poorly. There’s also an episode that supports the idea of “reverse racism” and another that goes out of its way to shame sex workers. I’m ashamed to say that even my friend pointing out that the show was a bit racist was at first not enough for me. I could have taken that as a sign to stop watching, but on some level I decided that -for a time- that racism wasn’t a deal breaker. But it is. And I’m ashamed that for a time I tolerated it.

28. What is your favourite movie from the 80′s?

Off the topp’a my head, Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986). When I think ‘80s, I think teen movies - mostly meaning John Hughes, and this is by far my favorite of his films.

35. What is your favourite movie of all time?

O gosh that’s a toughie, but a movie that’s been one’a my faves since it came out is The Incredibles (2004).

42. What’s your favourite animated movie?

Since I named The Incredibles (2004) above, I’ll also mention Ratatouille (2007). 

49. Thriller’s or comedies?

Comedies! I enjoy a good thriller, but don’t generally vibe with horror.

56. Most memorable movie ending?

I really like the bookended way Rear Window (1954) ends

63. In your opinion, the best character casting?

From a novelty perspective, I love that they cast Eve Arden as the principal in Grease (1978) as a nod to her role as an English teacher on the long-running sitcom Our Miss Brooks.

70. Why is your favourite movie, your favourite movie?

One’a my faves, The Philadelphia Story (1940) is a fave because it’s a deep story I very much relate to, all wrapped up in a helluva lotta fun and romance. Every once in a while, when I’m feeling crazy, I watch this movie and it’s a kind of reset for me. Gets me trusting myself and other people again. Stabilizes me. Reminds me how to love.

77. Where abouts in a theatre do you prefer to sit (front, middle, back)?

My parents prefer the rear, but I like the front.

81. A movie you felt attached to after watching it?

Rewatching Revolutionary Road (2008) this spring put me in a very, meditative? state for a couple days after. I didn’t even say anything to my roommate that night after finishing the movie because I just didn’t feel like talking. Not in a sad way, but at peace in a way.

84. Action-packed movies or lots of dialogue?

I lean towards dialogue.

91. Pick a movie, any movie. Now tell us your favourite scene?

The Pink Panther (1964) - when Claudia Cardinale and David Niven are drinking and flirting on the floor in front of a crackling fire. She’s so emotionally intimate, playful, sexy, and has so much fun with that ?tiger? rug. It’s a luscious bit of romance and real, revealing emotional intimacy in an otherwise farcical film.

98. A movie or performance you thought deserved an Oscar nomination?

Awards? Ummm?? Gosh I don’t know. It seems pretty lame that Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967) won for art direction and soundstage’y sets while Ken Adam wasn’t even nominated for the gorgeous sets he designed for You Only Live Twice (1967) INCLUDING A MILLION-DOLLAR VOLCANO LAIR WITH A FRICKIN’ WORKING MONORAIL!!!!!!

[architectnews]

Sigurd Lewerentz Exhibition: Arkdes Stockholm

Sigurd Lewerentz Exhibition ArkDes Stockholm, Swedish Centre for Architecture and Design, Building Center

Sigurd Lewerentz: Architect Of Death And Life – Arkdes

3 Nov 2020

Sweden’s Most Revered Architect Subject Of Major Exhibition Opening in Stockholm In April 2021

Location: ArkDes Swedish Centre for Architecture and Design, Stockholm, Sweden

• Designed By Caruso St John

• Accompanying Monograph Published Spring 2021

Sigurd Lewerentz: Architect Of Death And Life

3 November 2020 – Sweden’s most revered architect Sigurd Lewerentz, regarded as a giant of 20th century architecture, is the subject of a major exhibition, Sigurd Lewerentz: Architect of Death and Life designed by Caruso St John, opening at ArkDes, Sweden’s national centre for architecture and design in Stockholm, in April 2021.

This will be a significant moment of assessment, the first major monograph exhibition of the work of Lewerentz since the 1980s coinciding with the publication of the first comprehensive biography.

Lewerentz, who was born in Bjärtrå in northern Sweden in 1885 and died in Lund 1975, is an enigmatic figure in the modern history of architecture. He rarely spoke publicly or published, but his influence is acknowledged by a generation of the world’s leading architects.

Colin St. John Wilson, paraphrasing E.M. Forster’s impression of the Greek poet Constantine Cavafy, said it was “as if he stood at a slight angle to the world.”

In the words of Adam Caruso, designer of the exhibition: “Lewerentz’s late projects represent an unprecedented integration of making and thought. Like Matisse, who advised young painters to cut off their tongues and communicate with brush, paint and canvas, Lewerentz was famously laconic. He did not teach and few of his own project descriptions survive. He built.”

The exhibition and the book are the result of four years of research. The majority of the objects in the exhibition are drawn from ArkDes’ own formidable collection, which will be shown alongside hitherto unknown or never previously exhibited objects that have been discovered in travels by the research team across the country.

The exhibition will cover the full range of Lewerentz’s works. Among these are three iconic projects: The Woodland Cemetery in south Stockholm, designed with Gunnar Asplund (1935-40), where many notable Swedish writers, musicians and actors are buried, including Greta Garbo, and his two late masterpieces, St Mark’s Church, in Bjorkhagen, dedicated in 1960; and St Peter’s Church, in Klippan, a town 60 kilometres north of Malmo, completed in 1966.The show will include a range of drawings of these famous buildings but also objects that show how Lewerentz’s collaborations with artists and theologians made buildings that were deeply literate and inventive about Lutheran traditions.

The exhibition will feature a newly commissioned work by the American artist Amie Siegel in the space called Boxen. Known for her layered, meticulously constructed works that trace and perform the undercurrents of systems of value, design and cultural ownership, Siegel works variously with film, video, photography, performance, sound and installation.

ArkDes will produce a landmark new book in connection with the exhibition, which will be the first ever published with full access to Lewerentz’s archive. Designed by award-winning graphic designer Malmsten Hellberg, it will contain 700 pages of drawings, photographs and models, plus excerpts from Lewerentz’s personal archive and library.

In August 2021, a Lewerentz Festival will be arranged in collaboration with partners throughout Sweden, to pay tribute to one of architectural history’s most revered, and most mythologised architects.

Kieran Long, Director of ArkDes and curator of the exhibition, said: “There is no Swedish architect with more influence on contemporary architecture today, or with more passionate advocates across the globe, than Sigurd Lewerentz. Devotees travel from everywhere in the world to see his buildings. There are very few architects in history with Lewerentz’s ability to make buildings that truly ask the biggest questions about what it means to be a modern person. His work powerfully evokes our deepest and most archaic cultural memories. But he was also fascinated by cosmetic and fleeting pleasures: Shopping, dancing, drinking and having dinner. The life of the city fascinated him and his work made a stage for our playful selves as well as our spiritual ones.”

Background

Sigurd Lewerentz Sigurd Lewerentz was born at Sandö in the parish of Bjärtrå in Västernorrland County, Sweden. He was the son of Gustaf Adolf Lewerentz and Hedvig Mathilda Holmgren. He initially trained as a mechanical engineer at the Chalmers University of Technology in Gothenburg (1905–8). Later he took up an architectural apprenticeship in Germany.

He first opened his own architectural office in Stockholm in 1911 and became associated with the architect Gunnar Asplund (1885–1940). Together they made a winning entry for the Stockholm South (Woodland) Cemetery (Skogskyrkogården) competition of 1914–15. This project was implemented initially by both architects, however, the latter stages were done by Asplund alone. He and Asplund were appointed as the main architects for the Stockholm International Exhibition (1930) but afterwards Lewerentz became disillusioned, Lewerentz turned away from architecture for many years, and from 1940 he ran a factory producing windows and other architectural fittings of his own design.

Sigurd Lewerentz, together with his colleagues Erik Lallerstedt and David Helldén, created between 1933 and 1944 what is regarded of one of the masterpieces of functionalist architecture, Malmö Opera and Music Theatre (Malmö Opera och Musikteater). The foyer is considered of particular beauty, with its open surfaces and beautiful marble staircases and it is adorned with a number of works of art by artists such as Carl Milles and Isaac Grünewald.

He was awarded the Prince Eugen Medal for architecture in 1950. In the last decade of his life he designed two churches, St. Mark’s at Björkhagen in Stockholm (1956) and St. Peter’s at Klippan in Scania (1963–66), that revived his career in architecture.

He continued to work at competition proposals and furniture designs until shortly before his death in Lund, Sweden during 1975.

ArkDes ArkDes, located on the island of Skeppsholmen in central Stockholm, is Sweden’s national centre for architecture and design. It is a museum, a study centre and an arena for debate and discussion about the future of architecture, design and citizenship. It is housed in a beautiful building by Rafael Moneo and more recently ArkDes´ new studio gallery, called Boxen, designed by Dehlin Brattgård Architects.

Kieran Long, Director ArkDes: photo courtesy ArkDes Swedish Centre for Architecture and Design

Kieran Long Kieran Long, the British curator, critic and broadcaster, was appointed Director of ArkDes in April 2017. He was the architecture critic of the London Evening Standard between 2014 and 2014. He subsequently established the department of design, architecture and digital at the V&A in London in 2013/14, of which he was Keeper between 2014 and 2017. His television work includes presenting “Restoration Home’ and ‘The House that £100k Built’ for the BBC.

Sigurd Lewerentz Architects

Previously on e-architect:

11 Jan 2019

ArkDes Swedish Centre for Architecture and Design

photo courtesy of ArkDes ArkDes Swedish Centre for Architecture and Design Stockholm

Address: Exercisplan 4, 111 49 Stockholm, Sweden Phone: +46 8 520 235 00

Architecture in Sweden

Swedish Architecture Designs – chronological list

Stockholm Architecture News

Stockholm Architecture Tours

Swedish Architecture – Selection

Strängnäs Cathedral Building Renewal, Strängnäs, just west of Stockholm, Sweden Design: AART Architects image courtesy of architects Strängnäs Cathedral Building

Restaurant Tak, Södermalmsallén Architects: Wingårdhs image courtesy of architects Restaurant Tak Stockholm

Geysir Tower, Kista image from architects Geysir Tower Building in Kista

Karolinska Institute Research Center

Novum BioCity Karolinska University Hospital Stockholm

Swedish Architect Offices

Comments / photos for the Sigurd Lewerentz Exhibition at ArkDes Swedish Centre for Architecture and Design page welcome

The post Sigurd Lewerentz Exhibition: Arkdes Stockholm appeared first on e-architect.

[watching-movies-alone]

Dunkirk (2017)

I would like to start this off with the disclaimer that I am very, very, gay for Christopher Nolan.

Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk is a cinematic masterpiece, and here's why.

A common complaint I hear when I proudly proclaim that Dunkirk is my favourite movie is “but there’s no dialogue!” In  a world where people are constantly and consistently in contact with one another, this bleeding into movies where the art of nonverbal communication perhaps isn’t as appreciated as it could be, leaves Dunkirk’s notable deviation from this as a key turn-off for cinemagoers. Instead focusing more on the intense, subdued, emotions of the actors (a very difficult feat to produce) and the riveting visuals and soundtrack, Christopher Nolan brings a new type of storytelling to the big screen.

While many films can fall into either the “intellectually engaging” or the “passively engaging” categories, both finding their way to the theatre with the same amount of dialogue, most cinemagoers have a sense of what they would be walking into. With Dunkirk, this sense of familiarity in the category of “intellectually engaging” films, such as thrillers, is thrown out the proverbial window. With the lack of dialogue, audience members have to pay more close attention to what is going on, so the already demanding film becomes riveting. Hans Zimmer’s soundtrack, an excellent combination of electronic sounds and orchestra, adds to the depth of the film, with beautiful touches such as the insistant ticking of a clock, which does not stop until Tommy, a main character, is safe. In addition, the thriller also bears Nolan’s signature storytelling from a not-exactly-linear timeline, something that sets him apart from other directors in his genre. This movie is many firsts for Nolan, including being his first war film, first film with multiple protagonists carrying the story, and his first movie shot entirely on location.

Dunkirk (2017) follows a three-fold story of the historic events that occurred in 1942 at a beach in Dunkerque, France. At this point in the Second World War, British and French troops have been isolated and surrounded by the Germans, with nearing 400,000 men lined up, waiting, hoping, for a way home twentysomething miles away across the Channel. Nolan expertly intertwines the journeys of three groups of people (his first film to follow a collection of people rather than a single protagonist), under the titles “1. The Mole / One Week”, “2. The Sea / One Day”, and “3. The Air / One Hour”. ‘The Mole’ follows those on the ground during the event, mostly young soldiers drafted for the war effort, our protagonists here being Tommy (Fionn Whitehead), Gibson ( Aneurin Barnard), and Alex (Harry Styles), who find themselves constantly back on the beach from multiple thwarted attempts at fleeing to safety. ‘The Sea’ follows the courageous Mr. Daweson (Mark Rylance), his son Peter (Tom Glynn-Carney), and their young friend George (Barry Keoghan) as they make their way across the channel to rescue the men stranded at Dunkirk aboard the leisure boat the Moonstone. ‘The Air’, which witnesses the three timelines converging in that hour, follows Spitfire pilots Farrier (Tom Hardy) and Collins (Jack Lowden) as they provide aerial cover for the civilian boats and the soldiers on the beach by engaging in dogfights with the German Luftwaffe, buying time for those below.

"There are four hundred thousand men on this beach."

Living up to his reputation for nonlinear storytelling, Nolan reasserts his claim to the throne in his synthesising of the unique perspectives. While visually stunning at a first look, it is in the second watch of Dunkirk that the mastery of Nolan’s detailing is noticed: in the background of scenes on the boat with George and Mr. Daweson, the Spitfires of Collins and Farrier can be seen in a dogfight with the Germans. As men are boarding the civilian boats on the beach, Farrier, on an empty tank, glides over thousands, as he fights off remaining German aircraft. Rather than ham-handedly spoon feeding the audience the going-ons of the action, and delivering the plot in a linear fashion, with ‘The Mole’ comprising the majority of the first two-thirds of the film, introducing ‘The Sea’ in the final third and ‘The Air’ in the last few minutes, the audience would missed a lot of the buildup in apprehension that the nonlinear deliverance allows for, dismantling the sense of carefully-constructed ambiguity of the dangers present in favour of producing a traditional, and tired, progression arc with a slower beginning leading to a final battle before a resolution. With the nonlinear deliverance, this arc more closely resembles an intense squiggle, like angered spaghetti, as the action ebbs and swells much like the waves on the beach itself.

The choice to have not the dialogue drive the film, but the visuals and soundtrack, was a bold one. Most movies that enter the Hollywood radar are rich in their dialogue, ranging from playful banter to clever one-liners, to incredibly moving lines with excellent deliverance. Nolan’s Dunkirk deviates here once again, as it’s minimal use of dialogue adds to the sense of urgency, what being said serving to provide clues to the thoughts of the characters that reinforce the atmosphere around them. A line that expertly conveys the sense of dread and hopelessness is an exchange between Commander Bolton, the man overseeing the maintenance of the mole, and Colonel Winnant, the highest-ranking Army official on the beach, the Commander stating, voice of strained exasperation, “Christ, you can almost see it from here,”, and when the Colonel questions to what he is referring to, there is a far-off look in the Colonel’s eyes that grows impossibly more stressed when he gives the one-word response “home.” This is later accentuated when the men discuss how Churchill wants thirty thousand men home, with hope of forty five thousand being returned from the beach, and the dismayed (and overheard) admittance that there are four hundred thousand men on the beach. This brief exchange packs a double emotional punch for the audience, as it shows how even the officials are losing optimism for an even partial recovery, and the cut to Tommy and Gibson, who have snuck underneath the mole, hearing this and knowing they should redouble their efforts to get off that beach.

The deviation from what is considered the ‘norm’ for movies, in the sparse use of dialogue, is an empowering feature of the movie. When characters voice their thoughts, it is more of a reflection of their environment (understandably), but it does not clutter the scene with action-based dialogue (such as repeated curse words or shouts serving as rallying cries), instead allowing the audience to more fully experience what the characters are -- the audience will fill in the space typically reserved for that dialogue with their own thoughts, as if they were the character. It allows for a further degree of not only sympathy, but empathy for these war-beaten soldiers, these naïve schoolboys striving to make their peers proud, these pilots stranded on a reserve of fuel they don’t know the extent of. One of the instances of this that clues in the audience to the extent of the danger, without going into an in-depth backstory of how the characters got to the beach, why the men are stranded, et cetera, is present in the first act of the film, with the sentiment being echoed at the final act, tying the scenes together in a way that causes the audience to empathise more fully with those in the Royal Air Force. After narrowly escaping a demise at the hands of the Luftwaffe’s ME-109 aircraft, a dismayed man shouts up at the sky, “Where’s the bloody air force?”, a key aspect in the audience’s perception of the scene and the stakes at hand. As the audience will learn later, the RAF had been recalled to England, as a preparation for an all-out defense for the English there against the Germans. What this line does in the moment, is intensify the action which had just occurred prior, where we can see men being killed in the explosions raining down on the beach, Tommy nearly being one of them. It also explains the mechanical response afterwards, of the men who can still stand doing so, those who couldn’t, didn’t, and the dead lay where they were. Very little being spoken especially after such an event magnifies the weariness of the soldiers on the beach, everyone knowing what to do, more ‘rolling with the punches’ than fighting back. One man had bravely raised a rifle to fire at the incoming bomber with no success, others had not even attempted, perhaps knowing that their efforts would be futile. The resonance of this sentiment is found at the end of the movie, when the passengers of the Moonstone are unloading from the boat, and one man from another boat catches sight of  the pilot Collins, who had been rescued by the Dawesons prior, in his RAF uniform, shouting after him “Where the hell were you?!”, Collins being very affronted by this, as he was shot down, is reassured by Mr. Daweson. Mr. Daweson looks over to him, reassuring Collins, motions towards the men filing off of the Moonstone, “They know where you were.” Once again, this is an example of the brief exchanges in the movie that allow for more to be understood by the audience than would be the case had this not been included. The audience had seen the effort Collins put in before he was grounded, so their emotions are very caught up in the exchange, wanting Collins to say something to defend himself, and when Mr. Daweson instead consoles him, the viewer has a sense of relief.

To conclude with that thought, it is the sparse dialogue that allows for the audience to more naturally connect with the characters and empathise with them, feeling more as if they are part of the experience, instead of simply being an outsider looking in at the goings-ons of Dunkirk.

Now, what had earned Dunkirk four awards from various programs was the sound mixing and editing. A vital aspect of the film itself is the soundtrack, which ebbs and flows with the course of events in the movie. The soundtrack was composed by Hans Zimmer, who has aided in the composing of the soundtracks for over one hundred films, with a diverse portfolio, ranging from The Lion King (1994), Sherlock Holmes (2009), Castaway (1986), and 12 Years A Slave (2013). Zimmer’s masterpiece of a soundtrack serves to drive the film and the audience’s reaction to it, with seemingly ‘calm’ scenes that would otherwise cause for no sense of alarm bringing an intense feeling of dread to the viewer, the music swelling with anticipation. Once again examining the ticking of the clock, the clock does not stop ticking until Tommy himself is off of the beach and home in England. The ticking adds to the sense of danger present throughout the entirety of the story, deepening the visuals of being on a wide expanse of beach, covered by hundreds of thousands of men, waiting, where there is no shelter from the trickle of Stukas flying overhead, the men like “fish in a barrel”. In building anticipation, a scene where Farrier is in his Spitfire, and there hasn’t been sight of a Stuka in a suspicious amount of time, the prolonged shot of Farrier arm-in-arm with the swelling of the music. Faster-paced numbers such as ‘Supermarine’ and ‘Oil Slick’ increase the sense of dread, almost forcing the audience to pay closer attention to the screen, waiting anxiously for what happens next, even if ‘it’ doesn’t end up happening.

"We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields and in the streets. We shall fight in the Hills. We shall never surrender."

The combination of Nolan’s signature non-linear storyline, Zimmer’s breathtaking and adrenaline-heightening soundtrack, the commanding visuals and superb cinematography brings forth a masterful work. Dunkirk is a unique film, there isn’t a movie, war, thriller, or not, that shares these traits on a comparable level. Watching the film again and again, I still feel like I am watching it for the very first time. Not in the sense that it becomes ‘overly predictable’ or ‘bland’, but in that the aspects that make the movie what it is, it is completely riveting, every time seeing it brings forth a new appreciation of  the painstaking attention to detail and the dedication of all those involved with the film. It is a true masterpiece, a commanding cinematic experience that film analysts, cinemagoers, adrenaline junkies, and any who choose to see it, will appreciate for its individuality.  

Cinematography: 95

Screenwriting: 100

Delivery: 95

Average:

97%, A+

[denimbex1986]

'Just when Andrew Scott thinks his 2019 has run out of acts, it pulls him back in for another encore.

When we meet at the Hoxton Southwark — via a pit stop to buy postcards at Tate Modern — he’s just hopped off an 11-hour flight from Los Angeles, where he’s filming the highly anticipated telly adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr Ripley. It is, he says, another high point in a year that’s seen him star as the Hot Priest in the Emmy-conquering second season of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag, sparkle alongside Lin-Manuel Miranda in the BBC’s His Dark Materials adaptation, and score rave reviews as Garry Essendine in the Matthew Warchus’s gender-swapping production of Noël Coward’s Present Laughter at the Old Vic.

It’s not long after our meeting that he’s on stage again, to pick up the best actor prize at the 65th Evening Standard Theatre Awards for his “virtuoso” performance as Garry. “It’s such a good play,” laughs Scott. “That sounds like a ridiculous thing to say, but someone suggested to me that it would be a part that I would really like.” (In his acceptance speech, Scott paid an emotional tribute to Stephen Beresford, the writer he was for a long time in a relationship with, for suggesting he looked at the play again.)

He hopes his performance helped to change the work’s “slightly frothy” reputation and show that it can be more “transgressive” than people give it credit for. “People are amazed at the modernity of it in these times when we’re rejecting labels, and gender and sexuality,” he says.

There are few signs of filming fatigue as Scott lopes into the hotel lobby, flashing a crooked grin from beneath a low cap and waving brightly. He’s also spent months this year crawling through trenches near Stonehenge for Sam Mendes’s war epic 1917, which is released in January (an ambitious one-shot First World War drama also starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Colin Firth and George MacKay).

Wasn’t he worried about burnout? “You always have to feel like, ‘Oh shit, how are we actually going to do all this?’” he says. “But I decided that I was going to have a really, really good time.” Fun, pertinently, is a word Scott repeatedly returns to about this production, from after-show drinks in the dressing rooms of his co-stars Sophie Thompson and Indira Varma, to drama-school squats exercises that cast and ushers alike took part in before each show. “We all had buns of steel by the end,” he says. Living within walking distance of the Old Vic added to a “playful” atmosphere.

Contrast that to his acclaimed turn as the eponymous prince in Robert Icke’s 2017 Hamlet at the Almeida (over 150 three-hours-and-fifteen-minute stagings), which was an extraordinary but “isolating experience”. “To be honest all that was something I couldn’t do in Hamlet because it was too much,” he says. “I was just dead.” Present Laughter was an antidote.

Yet he says fun is the key to playing Hamlet, too. “If you don’t understand that Hamlet had a great joy for life, if you think that for the length of time that he was on the earth he was always depressed, well the release from life isn’t really that tragic,” says Scott. “If you think it was somebody who was full of life, and engagement, and fun, that has now just been totally sucker-punched by grief and doesn’t want to be alive anymore, I think that’s much more telling, and much more of a consuming story.”

It’s another play he hopes was transgressive. Depression doesn’t hook neatly on a coat peg, he says. “People think there’s a face of mental health, that there’s a way mental ill-health presents itself. And it doesn’t. Somebody can be really suffering and present in a really different way, and vice versa.”

Man’s insecurity — and the insecurity of men in particular — is a rich vein in both plays: Hamlet the young prince paralysed by existential doubt, Essendine the waning star with a rampaging libido flummoxed by his own middle age. “I mean, we’re all vulnerable,” says Scott. “We’re all insecure. Because we don’t know, none of us know, what’s going to happen to us after we die. So you have to represent that.”

Is that insecurity something Scott grapples with? “I think the mark of a proper adult is someone who is really able to say with confidence, ‘I don’t know.’ It’s to ask questions without hope of an answer. Am I that? Abso-f***ing-lutely. I love that Picasso said, ‘It took me my whole life to paint like a child.’” Why? “Well, the more something is awarded or the more accolades you get, serious drama becomes the thing that people think of you for. And for me, it’s a way to just battle that off a little bit and to go, well, my job really isn’t meant to be serious. That doesn’t mean the themes of the work aren’t serious — but my job is to play. The idea of being considered a serious actor makes me want to kill myself.” He pulls a face. “I don’t even really know what it means. I think in order to be a great actor you have to have a highly developed sense of humour.”

He took great joy in seeing “ecstatically happy” audiences returning to see this staging of Coward’s farce more than once. (Scott liked to meet the audience afterwards at the stage door “because I don’t do Instagram or anything like that.”) Does he still worry what fans might make of his characters? “Oh yeah. I think it would be disingenuous to say you don’t care. There seems to be this great idea currently that a great way to be in life is to not care what anybody thinks.” The “you do you” ethos? “Yes, as if that’s ever going to be possible for any human being. I think if you don’t care what anybody thinks you’re going to be deranged. Of course, you have to try not to care too much, or attach too much to whatever other people think. But of course you’ve got to care what people think. That’s what makes it exciting to be alive.”

Exploding preconceptions delights Scott, it seems. He nods to Hot Priest. “Look at the idea of a woman who is sexually frank and open, falling in love with a Catholic priest. That could sound like a gimmick. So, how do you make that real and truthful and funny at the same time? What is it like to be desexualised as a Catholic priest? Because then you’re talking about genuine issues.”

Plus, the show — which won two Emmys in September — sent his profile skyrocketing in the United States. Filming Ripley in California has its perks, he can confirm. “Just to be lying on a pool in November is amazing,” he says. Though he admits he has to “square the circle” of the carbon footprint an international career necessitates. “My feeling on it is: what am I going to do that’s a little more active and more vocal?”

Speaking of the A list, becoming BFFs with Hamilton ingénue Lin-Manuel Miranda while filming His Dark Materials sounds like a blast. “To my great regret I missed him hauling everyone to karaoke,” Scott says sadly. “But he was a total dream to work with. Great, great human being and friend, and exactly as you would want him to be.” Has Scott done a musical? “No, but I’d loooove to,” he says in that sing-song lilt. “I have no confidence when it comes to singing, but I’d love to explore it. My singing voice is just at the disco, in the corner, mouthing the words, when it actually wants to get up and do a bit of headbanging.”

Could he rustle up a Christmas single? Now that really would be fun.'

[melissatreglia]

Did You Miss Me?: Darkiplier in 2018

For the most part, 2018 was a quiet year. In contrast with 2017, where we were gratified to see Dark's monochromatic visage throughout the year, 2018 carried playful hints and teasing of the elusive entity's presence but no confirmation. There were thumbnails and quick flashes that indicated He was continuing to pull strings, ensuring that His presence was felt but His face never really seen.

Throughout 2017, He'd show up during what us mere mortals consider major holidays or important events. Valentine's Day. Easter. Even Cinco de Mayo got a nod. And of course, the infamous Friday the 13th late in the year.

But 2018? He apparently decided to stay home in the void during our days of revelry, with the possible (though not confirmed) exception of the decidedly strange Fall in Love with Markiplier video for Valentine's Day. And for the TWO Friday the 13ths in 2018? He was a no-show. In 2017, He'd returned to shake things up in our safe little lives... and in 2018, He left us wanting more, like the skilled manipulative seducer He is.

Getting Over It, Part 8 included a thumbnail with Mark's dour expression and a suspiciously familiar colour scheme. The thumbnail for WATCH OUT!! had Mark reaching for us in a state of panic (which belied the contents of the video itself). 

Try Not to Smile Challenge #3, while the smile-free serial killer laugh is creepy, it's not a Darkiplier moment. Though, him joking near the end of the video that people who didn’t smile at some point during the video are "soulless demons" does seem to be a Darkiplier reference of some kind (or maybe a Devilplier reference, since the Cuphead song was released just two months later)?

In Madison, when his game character watches a television that glitches and fades to static, Mark fearfully squeaks, "Darkiplier, is that You?!" While in the description for End My Suffering, just ten days later, Mark wailed, "What malevolent being did I piss off to be cursed like this!"

Brother Wake Up promised "I’ll try to help in whatever way I can but you have to wake up!" Which, while it fit perfectly with the title of the game, the description also fit pretty damn well into the channel lore too. And Umfend's description was likewise ominous: "You shouldn't have forgotten about me... I'll make you remember..."

Meanwhile, the title for the video of Welcome The The Game 2.0 doubles as a callback to an earlier Darkiplier moment: "Don't Play This Game". Horns of Fear did it one better, with the thumbnail featuring many eyes staring out at the viewer (again with an all-too-familiar colour scheme), while the title warned us "DON'T LOOK AWAY..."

In the Warframe playthrough late in the year, Mark's camera briefly freezes. But in 3 Scary Games #9, his camera freezes repeatedly before glitching back to normal, and he implies that "there's something else" messing with the camera. In 5 Nostalgic Games, when Mark gives the definition of ubiquitous and bares his teeth while saying "We're learning today!", the video suddenly glitches. 

The thumbnail for Markiplier has fled the country had Mark lunging at the camera, his face completely darkened by shadow. And the thumbnail for 3.75 Scary Games blatantly toyed with the fandom with text shouting "DARKIPLIER?"

And the fanbaiting didn't stop there. More thumbnails that hinted at Dark included a hand bathed in blue light reaching out to the viewer for the fittingly titled The Devil Haunts Me, and a cartoon of Mark cowering away from Dark's furious glare for You're Perfect.  

Markiplier's Tour: The Movie featured the improv teacher stating that Markiplier wasn't at the shows. "I don't know who that guy was, but it wasn't him." Even the Markiplier Animated short I've Got Boobs?! features a brief scene of a shadowy Darkiplier rising from a well and whispering something unintelligible.

For the most part however, the teasing came directly from out of Mark’s mouth.

In 3 Scary Games #5, Mark jokes that a ghost (clad in the classic white sheet and glitching somewhat) is Darkiplier. 3 Scary Games #13, the first (jokey) game called "Death Trips" features RGB text and Mark narrating in an echoing voice. In Midnight Shift, a game where Mark is memorably being chased by mannequins, he jokes that an RGB poster on a wall is "expricitly [sic] Darkiplier". In SCP Containment Breach #57, Mark jokes when he sees the intro screen of a pretty lady in 3D with an open third eye, "Look at this Darkiplier ass thing... it's like Celine, straight out of [Who Killed Markiplier?]". 

In 3 FNAF Fan Games, he even chortles that the game has “Darkiplier letters.” In Devil Daggers, he scoffs, “A high-pitched ringing in the darkness. That’s always good.”

[Image captured by me, on June 3, 2018.] 

Just before midsummer, I received a pleasant surprise. In Imscared: Steam Edition, Mark says "I gotta go get back into the Shadow Realm, the Upside Down." Which, personally, made me very happy at the time. Since I first became active on Tumblr in July 2017, I've been referring to Dark's void dimension as the Shadow Realm, while Mark has referred to it in the past as the Upside Down, making the link fairly clear in this statement. (Somehow, whether by happy accident or serendipity, my terminology and its proper context made its way to Mark. As a fan, I can't describe how pleased that made me, to know he might have actually seen something I’ve made.)

(But enough about me. I’m just an obsessive Darkiplier fangirl. So let’s get back to cataloging all the hinty goodness!)

By this point, you’re probably wondering, “Okay, so all those hints are decent. But where the hell is Dark in all of this?!” But that’s the point, my friends: He was there the whole time. In brief flashes of imagery, in hints and innuendo. Unseen, but his presence clearly felt as our expectations were played with by our channel host.

We expected a wild ride at the beginning, when Mark made two brief livestreams on January 5th, wandering through the theatre he was slated to play for the You’re Welcome Tour. 

The first of the two, “What’s Going In?!”, he showed us the back area of the Paramount Theatre, using only improvised narration and acting to build an atmosphere of dread. He claimed the theatre was haunted, and that he could smell “the scent of death”, ultimately vowing to protect those who would be visiting the theatre to see him that night. He also declares the EXIT a trap, before being pursued by an unseen entity.

The drama continued with “...” (a title that is impossible to find using Youtube’s search options), that begins with an eerie quiet. Tyler eventually finds Mark’s dropped phone. He asks the viewers where Mark is, before going on a search. He’s eventually attacked from behind and the stream cuts off, leaving those who weren’t at the show that night to wonder how the matter resolved.

In Simulacra, there's a brief flash of Mark in his Big Mood outfit with text saying "WAKE UP". When the simulacra changes the colour of the cellphone's display and begins to speak in a calm, creepy voice, Mark reflexively responds, "Darkiplier?" and sounding unnerved at the mention of "behind your black mirrors", then being stunned as the screen appears to crack.

At the end of Simulacra, he gives an uncharacteristically downbeat speech, declaring that "We're all just digital copies of ourselves, idealized in a digital form. And maybe that's the way that life is just supposed to be. Maybe we should all just roll over and accept it, because there's nothing that we can do to change our fates, after all. And who's to say that it's not better for us just to wear the masks that are our digital personas, and live our lives as those? Maybe that is for the best."

The How To Make Slime video goes from harmlessly silly and takes a twist for the stabby. Mark declares "In order to appease the Dark Gods..." then he instructs the viewer to slice their palm and "whisper the words of power." The words in question? "They shall rise. They shall consume. All will be lost when they rise from the darkness of the ocean. Madness opens up to everything." When the making of the slime is concluded, he adds that "We all get to enjoy three years of peace before the Dark Gods consume us all."

I have no idea what that means, but I’m pretty sure it may involve Cthulhu chomping on my kidneys. (Then again, Darkiplier is a Lovecraftian monstrosity Himself. So, if it’s Him who’s one of the Dark Gods? He can have a kidney from me if He’s really that hungry. Kidneys are a redundant system anyway, so you really only need one.)

April Fool’s Day brought us the gag gift of The Official Markiplier Rock, with a suspiciously deep voice informing us that the rock is available in white. Additionally, the video warned to alert the SCP Foundation if the rock appears to start talking! (What? My rock has been talking to me since I got it, and there’s nothing wrong with me!)

Baldi’s Basics: Secret Ending featured an explanation about attaining the secret ending, with Mark’s otherwise normal voice echoing slightly with subtle white noise effects. (Hmmm...)

In December, for the charity livestream and archived in a video called Santa Spills The Tea, a Santa Claus that sounded suspiciously like Wilford Warfstache declared that Dark, the master manipulator and Big Bad of Mark’s channel, was a “sweetheart! He shouts a lot, but he’s just a big ol’ pussy. He can’t even possibly… he didn’t hurt anybody! He didn’t kill one person! If there’s anybody who’s on my naughty li— uh, on my list of people who’ve been bad, he’s the only one not on it.” (And mind you, in 2017′s Markiplier TV, Wilford sang a little ditty about how he killed Santa Claus and the kids wouldn’t be getting any presents that year. And Dark still convinced us to shoot someone in A Date With Markiplier, while apparently feigning regret. But heck, use your own judgement.)

Mark also dropped one heck of a hint of things to come in, of all places, Markiplier Tries Korean Beauty Products. There, the descriptive intro to the following year’s DAMIEN animated feature can be heard at one point. “Snow blankets the field, a pristine meadow of untouched white. No animals call. No birds cry. Only the steady rustling of wind through dead trees accented by the impact of his axe. A crack-like thunder rings out as the ancient pine finally succumbs to his murderous assault. The old giant crashes into the ground. Dami-”

Wilford Motherloving Warfstache was, of course, focused on the mustachioed entity. But there were elements to the short film that felt like Darkiplier was watching along with us. Particularly the VHS-style glitch at the end of the film.

Of course, there were only three videos that year that potentially contained Darkiplier himself.

One candidate is Fall in Love with Markiplier. Yes, the name on the title is Mark’s... but is it really him? The entirety of the film is a fourteen minute staring contest with Mark, as he lovingly (and somehow also creepily) gazes at the viewer in different settings -- by the ocean, at a dog park, and in a bubble bath. The only spoken words are in the intro, over the strains of the music from A Date with Markiplier: “It’s scientifically proven that you can fall in love with someone simply by maintaining eye-contact for an extended period of time. So now, you can fall in love with Markiplier all over again in these three locations. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

The second candidate is World’s 5th Quietest Let’s Play, released just 5 days prior to the Let’s Have a Romantic Staring Contest video. Unlike the previously mentioned video, there’s more going on this time around. The game to be played quietly this time around is Bennett Foddy’s infamous rage-inducing creation “Getting Over It”. 

He threatens the developer with the words, “You will see the inside of your entrails, when I drag them out of your abdomen and show them to you.” (Ah, how romantic.) He goes even further than that, saying soon after, “This is a representation of My sins... You will be purged in the fires of absolution, along with all of your ilk. I will burn the heretics that you are harbouring inside of your soul... I will destroy you.” (Now there’s the smite-happy Hellgod we all love!)

But He doesn’t stop there, snarling under His breath, “You will burn in the fires of My own hell! And I will choose your pain to last eternity!” However, He is ultimately defeated by the game, departing our company with  “Alas, I leave you now, to slumber amongst the ancients.” (Aww, poor guy needs a hug. And I know just who’s ready to snuggle with Him...)

But the last of the video to potentially contain Darkiplier is... the four-hour long play through of Hearts & Heroes. Is it canon Dark? No, probably not. It’s a fan game, though the words of dialogue are acted out by Mark himself. But rather than simply recounting key phrases for you, here’s the Boss Battle between Mark’s team and Dark, edited by the lovely icedpinkpeebles (Mark’s goofy character names and all!):

So, what does all of this ultimately mean? Why did Darkiplier fade into the background in 2018? And, most importantly, what is He up to now?

The truth is I don’t know any more than you do. I can only guess.

But I can tell you this: We don’t know Darkiplier as well as we all think we do. Many of us (including me) fully expected Dark to raise hell following the events of the jokey Darkiplier vs Antisepticeye video in 2017 (because He did mention how He hates being mocked!). And while we did get more Dark at the end of that year, it was in the form of an origin story.

Whatever Dark’s planning, we’re not going to see it coming. Because He’s playing a long game. And when you’re immortal like He is, you have all the time in the world to get what you want. Be it for love or revenge, Darkiplier remains a force to be reckoned with.

But here we are, in the eye of the storm. Only time will tell before the final wrath of the hurricane makes landfall.

[nahoo883]

Jennifer Lopez’s Best and Most Outrageous Red Carpet Looks

Jennifer Lopez‘s career in entertainment spans over three decades, during which she’s left her mark as a formidable triple threat.

From dancing as a Fly Girl on In Living Color to her breakthrough role in Selena to her most recent turn now as the fierce veteran dancer Ramona in Hustlers, Lopez had a wide range of roles over the years. During this time, she’s also sported a variety of memorable and at times, iconic, red carpet looks that have become cultural touchstones in their own right. Consider the dramatic green Versace dress with a plunging neckline that Lopez wore to the 2000 Grammys, a look so show-stopping and furiously searched for online, that it inspired the creation of Google images. Or look at the draped gold gown that she wore to the 1998 Golden Globes that rivaled the hue of the night’s coveted trophies.

All eyes are on Lopez this awards season and the 77th annual Golden Globes is no exception, here’s a look back at her best and most outrageous red carpet looks, from the Grammys to the Met Gala.

2000 Grammys: Green Versace dress

  Getty Images

Call it the dress that broke the Internet — when Lopez appeared at the Grammys in this stunning green Versace dress, searches for her look were so high that it inspired the creation of Google Images.

2006 MTV Video Music Awards: Biba mini dress and headscarf

Getty ImagesJennifer Lopez attends the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall August 31, 2006 in New York City.

Lopez channeled sultry retro vibes with her sparkly Biba mini dress and matching headscarf, which she paired with thigh high nude patent leather boots for the 2006 MTV VMAs.

1998 Golden Globes

WireImage

Lopez showed off her trademark physique with a dress with a strategic cut-out at her first Golden Globes in 1998. She received her first Golden Globe nomination for her work in Selena; 20 years later, she’s now received her second nomination for Hustlers.

1998 MTV Video Music Awards

Ron Galella Collection via GettyJennifer Lopez at the Santa Monica Barker Hanger in Santa Monica, California

A leather maxi skirt paired with a metallic mesh backless halter was one of Lopez’s most playful looks.

1997 Oscars: Badgley Mischka gown

WireImageActress/Singer Jennifer Lopez arrives on the red carpet for the 69th Annual Academy Awards on March 24, 1997 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California.

Lopez channeled Old Hollywood at her first Oscars in 1997 with a delicate beaded lace dress from Badgley Mischka.

2000 MTV VMAs: Sean John crop top and jeans

WireImageJennifer Lopez arrives at the VMAs.

Lopez debuted one of her most memorable outfits, a crop top from her then-boyfriend Diddy’s fashion line, Sean John and a pair of matching hip hugger jeans. Accessorizing with a bejeweled belt, body jewelry, big hoops and a bandana completed the now-iconic outfit.

2003 Oscars: Valentino gown

WireImage

Lopez matched her eyeshadow shade to her demure pistachio-colored, one-shouldered Valentino gown at the 2007 Academy Awards.

2009 Golden Globes: Marchesa gown

Getty ImagesJennifer Lopez arrives at the 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 11, 2009 in Beverly Hills, California.

Lopez’s glow rivaled that of the coveted statuettes at the 2009 Golden Globes when she showed up in a dramatically draped gold Marchesa gown.

2010 Oscars: Armani Privé gown

Getty ImagesSinger Jennifer Lopez arrives at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards held at Kodak Theatre on March 7, 2010 in Hollywood, California.

Lopez stole the show at the 2010 Oscars with her impeccably tailored and very structural light pink Armani Privé gown.

2001 Oscars: Chanel gown

Getty ImagesJennifer Lopez arriving for the 73rd Academy Awards.

Lopez turned heads on the red carpet with her elegant yet daring Chanel gown, which featured a sheer bodice and full ballgown skirt.

2015 Met Gala: Versace Gown

Getty ImagesJennifer Lopez attends the “China: Through The Looking Glass” Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 4, 2015 in New York City.

Lopez teamed up with longtime favorite designer Donatella Versace for this sheer, body-hugging gown for the annual Met Gala.

2016 Golden Globes: Giambattista Valli Haute Couture dress

Getty ImagesJennifer Lopez attends the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 10, 2016 in Beverly Hills, California.

Lopez went for a retro look in a dramatic Giambattista Valli gown and matching capelet the color of sunshine.

2017 Grammys: Ralph & Russo

WireImage—2017 John ShearerJennifer Lopez attends The 59th GRAMMY Awards at STAPLES Center on February 12, 2017 in Los Angeles, California

Lopez made a case for oversized bows with her pretty lilac gown; the plunging neckline and high-cut leg slit helped keep the dress from veering into saccharine territory.

2018 Second Act premiere: Giambattista Valli gown

LightRocket via Getty Images&© 2018 Pacific PressJennifer Lopez wearing gown by Giambattista Valli attends premiere of ‘Second Act’ at Regal Union Square.

It was impossible to look away from Lopez when she showed up to the world premiere of her film, Second Act, in a voluminous hot pink Giambattista Valli gown with a train that took up most of the press line.

2019 Met Gala: Versace dress

WireImage&2019 Rabbani and Solimene PhotographyJennifer Lopez attends The 2019 Met Gala Celebrating Camp: Notes On Fashion – Arrivals at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 6, 2019 in New York City.

Lopez paid homage to the ’20s at the 2019 Met Gala with a shimmering embellished Versace gown and matching headdress.

from Newsfeed – TIME https://ift.tt/2Qkeooe via IFTTT from Blogger https://ift.tt/37wLcjy via IFTTT

[danielviza]

July 27th, 2017

I handed over this book to a friend. We exchanged gifts (bracelet and scarf) and stories. It’s a trusting bond of safety. I feel at home, at peace and happier with myself. I am still taking myself far too seriously and need to stop and enjoy the roses.

        It’s funny when you meet a person - and time stops.

        Everything around them drops, and the chords have ended, and there you are - bare bones with nothing to hide. Spending your time focused on exponentially growing your powers of communication.

        A great piece of knowledge shared today was that memories are stored differently to each perception

July 31st, 2017

She wants to learn how to record. A better perspective never hurt anyone. I believe in a better me, that will change the world and help the people around me.

        Antigenic drift

August 6th 2017

        “Semiamputated finger? Don’t worry, it builds character”

        Why worry about something that is no longer in your control? A double shift feels proper on this Sunday Morning. Joann, OJ and Sonia at the router. “The portrait of Dorian Grey”, “Family of Shadows, creating theatre and the playwrights guidebook. Sunday always feels good at work. I really hope I can stay on this positive track where the people around me are sharing the same positive energy. Staying silent has been a playful way

August 2nd, 2017

The summer has disappeared. I have made a new exotic friend. Emergency medical tech will be my Saturday adventure and chemistry on Tuesday and Thursday morning. I find myself writing more, and becoming more amused with myself. I will try not to spread myself too them AND be patient and wise with my mode of thoughts. If I can only make one person smile in the day, I've done my good duty. I will keep an intense rhythm from sun up to sunset.

I want to find better people to share my day with, that give me a genuine effort to bond. I need to not be so obsessive when I find new friends. I get overly excited and far too clingy.

Good rewards have blessed me this week, and I hope to keep working hard, in a good direction, giving meaning to the relationships around me. Staying focused, and giving thanks for the fortunes that walk into and out of my life. I want my body to  match the speed of my  mind. I appreciate a smiling face, especially one that sends you good vibes. If you're kind to the Universe - it will be kind right back

August 5th, 2017 2:57pm

Life keep getting better and beautiful and prosperous people and objects keep coming into my life. Please do not stop this positive stream of energy, everything seems to be going my way. Even with a paycheck half the size than usual, I am very happy.

Today I received a beautiful brand new desk from Big jeff, and the neighbor Marc, who was forced to move away due to remodeling, has blessed me with his leather couch and coffee table. I am desperate for cash as I see I need to put myself more out there in the world so that I may prosper economically.

My relations are starting to become more mature I sense. Now when I open my mouth I ten to try to do so with a purpose.

I love making up stories and entertaining eager ears. I wish to better my craft and go to a playwirhgting class this Tuesday.

August 10th, 2017 – 11:41pm

I’m going into another cycle of delusions and I think I like it this time. I feel the compelete grasp of the Universe underneath my finger tips. I will put my energy into the earth and prosper from it the best way I know how. A prosperous is always what I’m searching for, today for example, going home during my lunch break to deice my freezer and make myself a healthy smoothie. A gym session in the morning with Thalia was

August 15th, 2017 – 3:19 am

I’m going into another cycle of delusions and I think I like it this time. I feel the compelete grasp of the Universe underneath my finger tips. I will put my energy into the earth and prosper from it the best way I know how. A prosperous is always what I’m searching for, today for example, going home during my lunch break to deice my freezer and make myself a healthy smoothie. A gym session in the morning with Thalia was

August 16th, 2017 – 12:31am

Set your priorities straight

The people that matter first

Yourself

Get money

Go get the money you deserve

DOn’t stop the hustle

Keep making gold

Keep mining for more

Make your social circles exquisite

Take every day by force

August 16th, 2017 – 12:51am

Midnight secrets; psychic sounds blackened. Sonic depths sleeping - alluring sine waves; oscillated. Distorted imperfections. Tastefully brittle, screaming twists of obscurities. Losing human touch, as moonlight scorched by sunrise. The motif to our fire; the pleasure of our silence.

August 17th, 2017 – 11:33am

Ill refresh these windows

Hoping for a message

Stare at these classic pictures

In hopes to serenade your screen

Fill you with lines

You’ve only dreamt of

Keep you in suspense

Wanting more

Move swiftly

Believing

Black and white lines

Define us

Dilute us

Into one beautiful

Melody.

The power of not responding tends to leave other ostracized.

An imaginary play thing for your convenience.

Some people require brevity.

Others require silence.

Is this your attempt

At being exotic?

I deserve more respect

Than whimsical thoughts

Captivate her with an image

Questions of the symbols

That float in her mind

Leave your cynicism

at the door

She’s giving space

Afraid of everything possible

What a fool

To ever think this person

was sincere

or ever cared

or knew how to love another person

She is selfish

All she knows is herself

And her own life

Unpleasant to the lives of others

Your other relations are much more important

They know you

They impress upon you

They do not “get” anything

Nothing is worth their wild with

August 19th, 2017 – 8:23pm

Making money has become a habit

It all depends on the language you speak

The people making money around you

August 21st, 2017 – 5:10am

Premise - His love for a sheltered girl has him commit a crime which ultimately destroys their friendship.

Love crimes hold a social standard. You may do a wrong thing, but ultimately it felt right.

Characters are in constant change.

He learns that his wrong way isn’t always right.

She learns that the rules are meant to be broken

Premise - Love should be pursued, no matter the conditions.

Her growth - she learns that pain and the unknown is the true teacher and master of life.

He sees that his decision will hurt her, but will make her grow

His growth - He sees an innocent person crushed, just as he was crushed as a child.

August 2nd, 2017

I can’t relate to any off these over achieving perfect life mother fuckers where nothing has gone wrong for them.

SO much has gone wrong for me and here I am trying to change my mode of thinking, my mode of survival, my thoughts, the spirits that haunt me and the actions that I am trying to hold myself form giving back to the world. I am a part of a beautiful organization, but I am in the wrong position.

Although I want to see and learn, and be a part of medicine, I want to redefine the status quo. I do not want to be around a bunch of eggheaded nurses that do not know anything about reality. Why do I envy these people so much? Why must I transfer these ugly feelings? Why do I yearn to climb these social ladders so much. I want my soul to connect with someone, not my damn paycheck. Stop looking at my wallet and the temporary happiness it can buy you. The real tricks is in the details of your art. The reality is the human body and keeping it in motion constantly, moving to your next goal and desire.

Write up the diagnosis to your situation

August 22nd, 2017 – 9:13pm

You crave for her

To validate you

Give you reassurance in the world

That you are loved

Adored

Beyond most in her realm

Stop messaging these people

August 24th, 2017 – 12:09pm

You’ll out grow all your teachers and push the boundaries.

Trust no one

What is the point?

They end up turning on you

Showing you a mask you’ve never seen before

Something you would have never fathomed

Why be around corrupted people?

With there corrupted thoughts?

Always trying to have a power over you

Always trying to be better

Always trying to come up

Always wanting more

Never Being satisfied

You already learned all their moves

You have all they’re magic up your sleeve

You got exactly what you needed from them

What else do you want?

You can’t ask for more

Learn their moves

There manner

They’re style

See what you can be

They can know longer teach you what you already know

Make a safe and creative environment

For yourself

Not others

They are far too self interested

You have emotional problems Daniel

Face them

Know that it is your strength

You achilles heal

Although people may fall in love with you

They will learn to despise you

To know

That a negative vortex such as yourself

Is not good for anyone

You are far too sensitive

Realize that

Harness your power

Your sensitivity will be your great ally

You biggest foe

Realize the defeat of your sentiments

You will die alone

Do not be around

Or hand around

Social Climbers

They are detrimental

The people you meet at school

Are children

As you are one

Become knowledgable

Become a teacher

DO not be a know it all

Know that you know nothing

Is everybody lying?

Or am I the biggest one?

Am I the king

August 27th, 2017 12:58am

Grace and beauty

In every moment

Honoring your community

Giving praise

To the good beings in the world

Today

The lady behind The bakery counter

Gave me the biggest smile

A warm feeling of happiness

1:36am

Positive patience is death defying and relentless. (Great Love)

Negative patience has no resilience, no inner strength to endure hardship.

(To withstand hunger, torture, physical and mental suffering - This negative strength is very aggressive in the sense that it provokes counter-action)

A pivotal character is necessarily aggressive, uncompromising, even ruthless - and must not merely desire something.

They must want it so badly they will destroy or be destroyed to attain their goal.

Not everyone can be a pivotal character.

One whose fear is greater than their desire; has no great, all-consuming passion cannot be a pivotal character.

They are forced out of sheer necessity;not because it is willed.

Poverty encourages crime - a ruthless social force making poverty possible.

If the pivotal character matches emotional intensities of their adversaries, they have a much smaller compass of development - a lack of growth

In life, we as people are attacked, and through this, also the social forces which make us what we are.

If the pivotal character weakens, another representative is needed whom can faithfully serve the forces behind them.

These forces behind us created us.

Never become a static character.

August 28th, 2017 1:37am

I need the attention

What a bitch

As I type

To regulate my feelings

Figuring out

What are my needs and wants

Psychotic

Those episodes

Are maddening

They are all consuming

Light up the sky

Put out your energy

Burn these mother fuckers

Like they burned you

Put them back in the ground

Give them all the energy you got

Make it intense

Tell them what you really feel

August 31st, 2017 – 3:28am

In my bunker, all by myself. A 2 am late night Jack in the Box run for $9.54 will keep me alive tonight. I regret not having a stock refrigerator with a plethora of healthy goodies and eats. I look forward to Tomorrow’s chemistry class and hope to really focus

September 2nd 2017 – 8:28 am

What an amazing campus. Pasadena City College has blown me away once again. I love this school - they keep fascinating. Smile, be confident. show people you care and have a genuine interest. Do not be a general person - be phenomenal. Get through this material as most voraciously as you can. Get on the fast lane - punch it. No regrets. Burning rubber will be another pass time. Move faster.

Be better.

Focus on putting your energy into the world.

Last night was a working night on Colorado; networking and

September 5th, 2017 – 12:21am

Kill the Crickets, let them die -

G9

FMaj7

Where you trying to go?

Who you trying to be girl?

I love you anyways

You gotta change

Why you gotta fake all that stupid shit

I know you love me

Stop being a bitch

You’re talking to yourself

Stop being a bitch

You’re talking to yourself no

Making Gold records

Thinking about you

I always want to be about you

I remember the time I saw your face

The feeling I would get

When I saw it again

Till me one more time

You don’t love me

I get

I Get it

I don’t love me anyways

Ill drink to all the shit I did

I’ll love you anyways

Let me tell you a little secret about my life

The best part about my life

Is that I control the reigns to my life

No one’s ever told me what to do

No one’s ever going to tell me how to do it

It’s always been up to me

Now tell me

What’s your biggest strengths?

Well sometimes I feel that I can follow my own instincts

Wrong

What do you know about insticts

Look into yourself and tell me what you think about instincts?

Do you really love your own instinct?

What’s your instinct telling you right now?

Take everything too serious

fuck these stupid people

bringing you down

with their negative signs

fuck them

be alone

you are a gift to others

don’t give them

your precious time

they deserve none of it

stay alone

you are 2 years young

you need nothing from these people

you are the world

create and build

be the example

they just want the attention

fuck their intentions

you were nothing to them

from the start

why do they even care

why do you even bother?

fuck their approval

they are rotten to the care

they have no backbone

or self respect

they ride on the securities of others

they do not sincerely think of you

the way you think of them

it will always be one sided

that is your curse

September 8th, 2017 – 12:54am

I dream of you often

Lost in a fervor

Of broken people

Always coming through my door

In hopes of someday seeing you

Those dreams are dead

Forever gone

The storm

The calm before the storm

We’re grown

Alone

Without another being

Peter Pan

He doesn’t believe in psychologist

Therapies

You must close cycles

This happened

It is over

Stop searching

Stop opening and remembering

Opening and remembering is fine

Once

But not over and over

The cycle is closed

Move on

Move Forward

Don’t let the emotions overcome you

The head of psychiatrist

Would close him

In music

Morning

Morenitos

The racism

The white skin, the blue eyes

Grandma would chose favorites

The injustice

The lack of love

With the highest regard

too such poor and lonely students

Crying like a child with an oxygen tank

It already passed

Pautas

Guidelines

Making the best

Carrying the heaviest weight on my shoulders

Search for your honor

Through the generations

The indépendance

Who will lay you down to rest?

When you are ready to leave

Don’t let your emotions win

Analyze

This your life

Your time

We’ll always live good

We will be gone soon

Will you stay miserable?

What will you do?

Analyze your situation

Well

September 9th, 2017

I enjoy these minutes in my day - they are full of intensity. I have a problem slowing down; I like that. Will I stay hypertensive, or will I thrive in the environment of pressure? I had an hour lung conversation with my Tia Ruth yesterday in the morning after not being accepted into my Chemistry Lab. She told me stories that tI will never forget, memories of her brothers and the final moments of Rene. She enlightened me on the mental capacity of our family; my fate.

        Do I burn the bridges behind me and start fresh? As now, my mind is realigned into my destiny - into my dramatic need. How I can carry the shadows of my family on my back.

The disease of normal functioning - overcoming my weakness. Am I slow to show my emotion? Is being reserved killing the animal I was born as? Do I look for a more ferocious sense of life everyday?

Meet people that you’re going to learn with and from; reciprocate the feeling.

The words “We all remember things the way we remember them. Like pulling a book out of a shelf, experiencing the words, closing the covers together and sliding it back into your memory. Move swifter throughout the day. Use all the strength in your body, mind and soul. Find a balance in all the things you do, but above all focus and do not steer from your pathway to success. DO not torture your mind

September 10th, 2017 5:23pm  

Will I ever know life

Outside of you?

You keep playing on

Who you playing on?

Didn’t want to know much

‘Till I met you

What’s going on?

Can you be strong?

How can you e so cold?

How can you be so cold?

Guess your happy now

Never really cared much

‘Till you came along

I sleep

Dreaming of you

Everyday

Didn’t really know to much

Till you sang

You went away

You went away

September 20, 2017 12:56pm

I dream of you often

Your life

Your Well Being

A glorious friend of mine

A near extinction

My most delicate of friends

A beautiful rarity

I wish most for

September 21, 2017  7:43am

Will you remember all this danger?

The cunning in your words

Living life on a tightrope

Searching for your next victim

She longed for a kiss

She yearned to be embraced

Ravished

In a manner unexplained

September 23rd, 2017

What’s the point of your life if all the moments in between are a blur? What are you?

Do not anticipate for something to happen

Make it happen

Put yourself out there

Don’t be afraid of rejection

It happens constantly

Bounce back

Find a reason

October 8th, 2017

He attempts to speak

she whispers out loud

He fights

To

open the universe

devour

her gasoline fire

that melts flesh

finding beauty

in a tarnished

subcut

Have you seen a supernova burn?

With gases

Infusing

burning oxygen

consuming all

Burning the eyes

Leading your desire

Of scorching your name on the earth

In the hopes

That her eyes will lay upon you

I’ll mumble these thoughts

As I sleep

As I dream about a peace

I’ve lost since parting

Tools strictly for departing

October 8th, 2017

Last night I nearly cracked.

Today I will make better decisions.

I refuse base things.

I shall realign myself

October 8th, 2017 – 3:02pm

Maybe in a dream.

I felt you

The passion in your bones

The quiver of your lip

Let our death

Become our immortality

In the loss of reticence

October 25th, 2017

Colloquially are shared amongst the finest; cheers.

October 27th, 2017 – 9am

Chemistry Laboratory kicked my ass once again. I am not taking the information given to me and truly giving meaning and analysis towards my final product. My paper game has become weak; I have yet to impress myself once again. My scientific writing style is not adequate enough and I hope to boost my levels of understanding as a scientist. Bonds, and the strength of bonds have become

Not all bonds are equal. This is not an easy process, going ab

Born-Haver cycle. An alternative approach to the same answer.

December 2nd, 2017 1:16pm

My twenty ninth birthday is in 8 days. I find myself alone, once again. I begin to wonder if it is me or the way I conduct my relations.

Friday December 9th, 2017 10:37am

Pasadena Hilton was a lovely venue to perform for my immediate coworkers. I had the chance of showing my good friend David a cool place to be with the people he works with. Catching up with Andrew Le was very nice as we hope to spend some time together hopefully before the new year commences. I was happy to make the party organizers feel more confident about their occasion.

Relations have soured as my father begins to learn his place in the world.

December 12th, 2017 10:01am

War is over now

The battlefield has settled

Limb for limb

We lanced

Limb for limb we fell apart

Put your weapons away

They don’t work anymore

The battle is over

No one has won

Let these moments

Sink into your dreams

December 18, 2017 2:57pm

The blood, guts, tears, vomit.

The sounds and smells of desperation.

The need for another human being to take care of those fallen.

Ill, lost, hopeless, in fear of everything out of there control.

Wake up every day, to the sounds of medical machines that never stop working.

When will these folks get a break?

Janurary 2nd, 2018

Don’t become these drones that are stuck on their phones all day. Be a person that can have a sincere conversation and can actually reach out to people. Develop your communication skills. Apologize for your verbal slip ups. Do not be afraid of showing genuine expression. What’s the point of hiding your true self? They’re going to find out who you are anyway, so don’t give them a reason to point fingers.

Janurary 3rd, 2018 7:59am

Seven thirty in the morning starting off with nutrition class - starting off with getting some respect by the professor for the mohawk. I hope that this becomes one of the classes that changes my life. How is there a way to find the right information and use it for better? This professor seems to be brilliant from the start, a harness I hope I can harness.