#platoon bob barnes

[senka-mesecine]

The God Mars. x

---

On the day of his triumph, the general wore a crown of laurel and an all-purple, gold-embroidered triumphal toga picta ("painted" toga), regalia that identified him as near-divine or near-kingly. In some accounts, the face was painted red, perhaps in imitation of Rome's highest and most powerful god, Jupiter.

[littlemissclandestine]

I just watched Platoon y'all...

One word: Barnes 👀

[sparrowstarsandsorrow]

Im not sure what it is yet, but there's something intriguing about his character.

I think it's possible that he's capable of feeling empathy and remorse. I mean, in the 2nd photo, you can see it in his eyes, all over his face, in fact. especially after one of his men got horribly injured, which tells us he had compassion. The more men he lost, the more his pain and suffering turned into anger and spitefulness. Even Tom Berenger himself said that he thinks that his character isn't pure evil. He's only insane because the horrors of war have made him that way.

[goatennui]

Feeling goods good enough 💥

[squidsploitation]

the girls are fighting 😔

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Ok but the faces Barnes makes every time O’Neil starts with his bullshit is so funny 

[barnesisreality]

A man for whom personal space is a myth

[emilynightshade89]

Barnes: The reality of this war has caused me to go into an enraged depression.

Elias: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed out"?

Barnes: ...

Barnes: Elias you ignorant slut.

[headoverhiddles]

How The Platoon Characters Comfort You

Requested by anon!

Elias (Sweet daddy)

He has a way of just wrapping you up in his arms, and holding you until you’ve cried it all out. When you’re done, he’d want to hear all about your troubles. He’d always have kind words to offer, as well. You’d tell him all about why you’re crying or why you’re sad, and he’d listen for as long as it took. Then he’d offer some sage advice, telling you just what you didn’t know you needed to hear, and it would end with tender kissing. This might also lead to tender sex, depending on how well adjusted you are in the moment. 

Chris (Shy baby boi)

He’d be super worried right off the bat, wondering if there’s anything he can do to make it right. You’d assure him that’s not necessary, but you’re flattered by his eagerness to make you feel better. He’d let you hug him for as long as you need to, and while comforting words aren’t really his strong suit, he’ll try his best, if anything just repeating ‘I’m here, it’s okay’ until you’re alright. He’d improvise, doing anything that seems to be working to get you feeling better-- his go to thing is to make jokes, make you laugh until you’re smiling and giggling again. He tells you how much he loves your laugh. 

O’Neil (Asshole daddy)

His whole facade would just drop, and he’d immediately go into panic mode. “Woah woah woah, what’s wrong? Did someone do something? Are you okay?” He’d ask you a billion questions, kind of overloading you, but eventually he’d realize you just need him to comfort you. He’s not a master at comfort either, but he’d take you to his private quarters, trying to think of anything to make you feel better. He settles on taking your mind off whatever’s upsetting you-- he suggests a game of strip poker. 

Barnes (Grumpy daddy)

Barnes gets very uncomfortable when anyone needs him to be sympathetic or emotional. He is very intuitive though, and he’d know immediately if you’re upset. He’d try to say something, and it’d come out awkward, gruff or insensitive, like “Something bothering you? Well... it shouldn’t, god dammit.” In trying to comfort you, he’d probably end up making you cry harder, which he feels immeasurably bad for, and follows you to apologize. When he finally sits down with you, he tells you he’s not good at this stuff, and shares a bottle of whiskey with you, telling you this is as good a time as any to drink. You think this is the most affectionate you’ve seen him yet. 

King (Sassy daddy)

King is the type to do everything right when you need him. He’d hold you, rock you, tell you everything’s going to be just fine. He’d promise you nothing would hurt you or get you upset anymore as long as he’s around. If you still don’t feel so great, he’d let you lay on him under the stars, telling you soothing stories of back home for hours while he strokes your hair. Hearing his calming voice until the morning light comes up puts you to sleep, and makes you feel at peace with everything. 

Rhah (Bear hug daddy)

When faced with a crying woman, Rhah’s first instinct is to HUG. He gives you a giant hug, and doesn’t mind how long you stay on his chest-- he will hug you for hours if need be. He will let you fall asleep on him. As far as he’s concerned, hugging is the best remedy to anything-- if anyone in the platoon asks him to do something while you’re still snuggling him, he tells them promptly to fuck off. He has a mission, and he will not abandon it. 

Lerner (Pure baby boi)

He’d be one to blindly offer to beat someone up for making you feel bad, even though he’d never win in any fight. He’d be just fuming that anyone or anything made his girl feel this way, and even when you’d assure him it would be fine, he’d still want to do something about it. When he accepts finally that he can’t, he just sits with you, rubbing your back and listing off reasons why you shouldn’t focus on the thing getting you down. He reminds you how amazing a person you are, how beautiful you are, and tells you you’ll always have him. 

[senka-mesecine]

Bc you’ve briefly brought up running away from Chris or Barnes, could you maybe write smthn abt one of the two? Thank you!

-

― You run away from Chris and at first, it flat out seems like he could take it relatively well --- like someone aggrieved, heartbroken or jilted, sure, but like a normal person would nonetheless. You get the impression this whole relationship could end pretty quickly now that you're gone because that's to be expected with most people and most normal people, they throw in the towel after a while. In fact, someone's significant other leaving or running away could constitute a break up or a divorce in civilian circles and that's how it seems like Taylor would see it too after what you hoped would be a couple of attempts on his part at reconciliation right before he more or less mellows out of it and lets it go, moving on...until he just doesn't. You totally miscalculate and underestimate this guy. He absolutely doesn't let it go like the everyman would, no; leaving me with the impression he surprises both you and himself when he does effectively track you down, triggered by your absence, getting shouty, grabby, showing you a side of him you've never seen before (or maybe you have and that's exactly why you ran in the first place) and pretty much dragging you home himself, explaining how it's fine, he forgives you. But, Jesus Christ, it's in your eyes and he sees how scared you are; just as you should be --- you did do this to yourself, after all. A son of two fathers indeed. The forgiveness part being all Elias, regardless how intimidating, threatening and even occasionally insincere it comes off when Taylor's the one doing it, and the tracking you down bit? That's Barnes, through and through. It's like Taylor's become a slightly darker, scarier, less familiar person after all of this or maybe he's been like that for quite a while now and only now did it come out at full force, shocking you to what degree you absolutely can't just ditch him like you'd ditch any common Joe Schmoe because he has moments where he's such a sweet boy-next-door and then others when he's someone else. Someone you can't just easily run out on. Suffice to say, the police doesn't even have the chance to get involved or take effective sides because Taylor's already dealt with it singlehandedly. Just a spat between lovers. Nothing to see here. Back into your little family house you go.

― As for Barnes? He straight up hunts you. What's worse? You might not even know it for quite a while. He does it quietly. Doesn't make a tremendous fuss about it, if any. Might have a smoke beforehand. That smoke might just last a week or two. Perhaps accompanied by a drink. The prey's out there but it ain't getting far, is what he's thinking no matter how far you actually make it. You could even have the deceptive feeling you got away because Barnes' presence just disappears from your vicinity for a good, long time, leaving you time to breathe. Relax. Recuperate. Actually contemplate your freedom. You...actually got away from the clutches of a monster. How's that possible? Did he lose interest? Did he let you loose deliberately? What's going on? What now? Was he a figment of your worst nightmares all along with how sharp his absence becomes? Little do you know you're being led into an ambush and that he'll show up when you least expect it. When you feel safest. When you'll be on the verge to start trusting your newfound liberty. Barnes might not even spend a tremendous amount of time watching you; maybe just the right tactical amount, to assess the situation, your position, where you at. He just does what he's here to do and that's to take you back with him, such is his assurance and cockiness. You could very well just wake up one day with his hand over your mouth and his face inches away from your eyes, his eyes staring down at you or he'll be popping up from the corner of whatever place you're staying at like it's a non issue and he's merely here to pick you up. The capture is quite that sudden that it can neither be anticipated nor dodged or exactly prevented. But nonetheless, it's harrowing. He just shows up. And before you know it, you could be hauling ass from whence you both came from. Quietly, yes. If you argue it, he might toss you over his shoulder and carry you out. On your own two feet or dragged. With a gun to your head. A knife under your chin. Or maybe, his eyes alone are enough to daunt you and order you to start walking yourself before he really starts seeing red. Your choice. Point is, you're going. Barnes might not show it, but he rather enjoyed this. Was like a roadtrip to him. For all he cares, you might as well make this 'my woman runs out on me and I hunt her down' thing an annual tradition because every time the outcome's gonna be the same.

[producejoe]

Tom Berenger as Sgt. Bob Barnes in Platoon (1986)

[sparrowstarsandsorrow]

This photo makes me feel so uneasy. it's the way Barnes is glaring at Elias with killer in his eyes. He's such a scaringly intimidating character, and the tension between the two is interesting to me. Anyhow, this has been on my mind for a good while.

[introvertguide]

Platoon (1986); AFI #86

The most recent film for review is the last of our gritty war films from the AFI top 100: Oliver Stone directed Platoon (1986). This film took home four Oscars that year for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Sound, and Best Editing. Like many other big war films with many small parts, this film had a ton of current for the time and future stars. The cast includes almost no women since the film begins with the arrival of the main characters in Vietnam and ends with some of them leaving. Notable names include Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, Keith David, Forest Whitaker, Francesco Quinn, Kevin Dillon, John C. McGinley, Johnny Depp, and Tony Todd. The only other war films I can think of with more star power are Saving Private Ryan or Apocalypse Now. The film has a much more interesting story than "kill the enemy," which is why I think it received so many accolades. I really want to get to some behind the scenes notes, but let's start out with a synopsis and a quick warning...

SPOILER WARNING!!! THIS IS A WAR FILM SO IT CANNOT BE GUESSED WHICH CHARACTERS MAKE IT THROUGH AND WHICH DON'T!!! I AM ABOUT TO SPOIL THAT!!! IF THAT IS OKAY, THEN KEEP READING! OTHERWISE, CHECK OUT THE MOVIE FIRST AND CHECK OUT THIS BOTTOM PART OF THIS ARTICLE AFTERWARD!!!

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In 1967, U.S. Army volunteer Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen) arrives in South Vietnam and is assigned to an infantry platoon of the 25th Infantry Division near the Cambodian border. The platoon is officially led by the young and inexperienced Lieutenant Wolfe (Mark Moses), but in reality, the soldiers defer to two of his older and more experienced subordinates: the hardened and cynical Staff Sergeant Robert "Bob" Barnes (Tom Berenger), and the more idealistic Sergeant Elias (Willem Dafoe). An interesting note is that the first things Taylor sees upon landing are body bags being stacked onto an outgoing plane, implying that there is only one way to leave.

Taylor is immediately sent out with Barnes, Elias and veteran soldiers on a planned night ambush for a North Vietnamese army force. The NVA soldiers manage to get close to the sleeping Americans before a brief firefight ensues; Taylor's fellow new recruit Gardener is killed and Taylor himself lightly wounded. After his return from hospital, Taylor bonds with Elias and his circle of marijuana-smokers while remaining aloof from Barnes and his more hard-edged followers. There are many shots with Elias on the right and Barnes on the left, almost like an angel and devil on the shoulders of Taylor. To add to it, Barnes is scarred all over his face and body will Elias is basically untouched.

During a subsequent patrol, three men are killed by booby traps and unseen assailants. The injuries from the trap are hard to watch, so be prepared when the soldiers start looking around. One of the deaths is more obvious since a guard is displayed like a scarecrow as a message to the group. Already on edge, the platoon is further angered when they discover an enemy supply and weapons cache in a nearby village. This is the intense scene that the movie is famous for. One particular soldier called Bunny (Kevin Dillon) shows that the men in the platoon might be more dangerous than the NVA. Barnes, through a Vietnamese-speaking soldier, Lerner (Johnny Depp), aggressively interrogates the village chief about whether the villagers have been aiding the NVA, and cold-bloodedly shoots his wife dead when she snaps back at him. Elias then arrives, getting into a physical altercation with Barnes over the killing before Wolfe breaks it up and orders the supplies destroyed and the village razed. Taylor later prevents a gang-rape of two girls by some of Barnes' men.

When the platoon returns to base, the veteran company commander Captain Harris (Dale Dye) declares that if he finds out that an illegal killing took place, a court-martial will ensue, leaving Barnes worried that Elias will testify against him. On their next patrol, the platoon is ambushed and pinned down in a firefight, in which numerous soldiers are wounded. More men are wounded when Lieutenant Wolfe accidentally directs an artillery strike onto his own unit before Barnes calls it off. Elias takes Taylor and two other men to intercept flanking enemy troops. Barnes orders the rest of the platoon to retreat and goes back into the jungle to find Elias' group. Barnes finds Elias alone and shoots him, then returns and tells the others that Elias was killed by the enemy. While the platoon is extracting via helicopter, they glimpse Elias, mortally wounded, emerging from the tree line and being chased by a group of North Vietnamese soldiers, who kill him. Noting Barnes' anxious manner, Taylor realizes that he was responsible.

At the base, Taylor attempts to talk his group into fragging Barnes in retaliation when Barnes, having overheard them, enters the room and mocks them. Taylor assaults the intoxicated Barnes but is quickly overpowered. Barnes cuts Taylor near his eye with a push dagger before departing.

The platoon is sent back to the front line to maintain defensive positions, where Taylor shares a foxhole with Francis (Corey Glover). That night, a major NVA assault occurs, and the defensive lines are broken. Much of the platoon, including Wolfe and most of Barnes' followers, are killed in the ensuing battle. During the attack, an NVA sapper, armed with explosives, destroys the battalion headquarters in a suicide attack. Now in command of the defense, Captain Harris orders his air support to expend all their remaining ordnance inside his perimeter. During the chaos, Taylor encounters Barnes, who is wounded and driven to insanity. Just as Barnes is about to kill Taylor, both men are knocked unconscious by an air strike.

Taylor regains consciousness the following morning, picks up an enemy Type 56 rifle, and finds Barnes, who orders Taylor to call a medic. Seeing that Taylor won't help, Barnes contemptuously tells Taylor to kill him: Taylor does so. Francis, who survived the battle unharmed, deliberately stabs himself in the leg and reminds Taylor that because they have been twice wounded, they can return home. The helicopter carries the two men away. Overwhelmed, Taylor sobs as he glares down at multiple craters full of corpses.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't want to break down every single character in the film because that is everything there is. The film is much more about character development and Vietnam is just a setting. I believe that Oliver Stone wanted to emphasize that humans, when put into a hellish situation, had to choose between conforming to survive or trying to keep your own morals. Charlie Sheen plays Taylor, a young but moralistic person who entered the situation by choice in an attempt to prove himself. There is an authority figure of Lt. Wolfe, who is technically in charge, but it is the two sergeants that play a demon and an angel (they would be on his shoulder if this was a cartoon) that push Taylor towards conforming to evil or holding on to righteousness. Neither sergeant survives the film, and it is ambiguous how Taylor will act when he returns home, The only thing for certain is that he is very different from what he was when he arrived. Both Defoe and Berenger received nominations for best supporting actor for their roles, but neither won the award.

There is some mention of class in this film because it seems that it is mostly the uneducated masses who could not get away from the draft that fought in the war. It is this irony (those who have the least are forced to sacrifice the most) that is a focal point of the film. The character of Bunny, played by Kevin Dillon, finds war as an opportunity to get out his aggressions and attack something that represents his personal failures in life. A big gun and not much to live for is a dangerous combination, especially when a person with these attributes is trained to kill. Oliver Stone was a soldier in Vietnam and he really wanted to emphasize how the horror of the situation can bring out the worst in the downtrodden.

There are a group of black soldiers that are played by Tony Todd, Keith David, and Forest Whitaker. None of the three seem very interested in the politics of the situation as much as they just want to get away. Forest Whitaker's character sits on the middle ground and does what he is told, but he also expresses that he feels bad for his actions. Tony Todd's character sides with Barnes because he feels this is his best chance to survive long enough to get out. Barnes was shot and mangled, yet he still is alive, so he must be doing the correct thing. Keith David's character is trying to survive while also keeping his own morals, so he sticks with Elias and tries to do what he feels is right.

This film is what I would describe as a war drama since it is the Divine Comedy set in the jungles of Vietnam and Cambodia. There are no really good people and evil actions are understandable and sometimes almost relatable. It really makes the viewer upset that so many young men and women were put in this situation to be morally and mortally tested. It really affected audiences of the mid 80s, and that is why the film won for best picture.

One negative note about the production is the reported behavior of Oliver Stone. The film was shot in the Philippines and the push to make the film realistic bordered on abuse for the actors. The whole production was plagued with sickness and injuries with the actors having both Stone and advisor/actor Dale Dye yelling at them the whole time. There is a scene in which Tom Berenger is holding a gun to a little girl's head and he was told and berated into yelling and threatening the young actress until she really began to cry. Actors were allowed to leave as they were killed off since the film was shot almost completely in a linear fashion, so those looks of relief when they got on a helicopter to go home were quite genuine.

I was surprised that there was no nomination for make-up effects because the battle injuries look horrific and the scars on Tom Berenger were so realistic. I just thought that Berenger had scars all over his face until I saw him in another movie. He doesn't have the greatest skin, but the deep wound scars were blended in perfectly. The film would not have won since this award was eventually taken home by The Fly with Jeff Goldblum, but I still think a nomination was in order.

So, does this film deserve to be on the AFI top 100? Yes, but it is definitely lower on the list. It was shot in the Philippines and describes a war that America was not committed to, but it was still a major part of US history and touched a sensitive nerve for audiences at the time. The film is neither imaginative nor innovative, but the realism is worthy of recognition. Would I recommend it? That is actually kind of difficult. I wouldn't recommend it to a general audience because it will ruin your day. It is an engaging experience that transports the viewer to the war-torn jungle, but that is not something that many people really want. The film will affect you, just make sure that you are ready for it.

[jean----ralphio]

BoB live blog ep 2!

Aw yis episode 2 pls

Episode 2: Day of days.

And now for some shameless self-promotion: I named the restaurant in my BoB restaurant!au fanfic Jour des Jours, which according to google translate is French for day of days. It was a French restaurant. See what I did? I’m so smart. Any way it’s on AO3 if you wanna read it – Speirton have sex in a wine cellar. That’s the only thing I remember because tbh what else matters?

Anyway

On to the ep!

02:25 Once again I am an emotional wreck after just the credits. THE. MUSIC.

02:26 THEN THIS SHOW HAS THE AUDACITY TO HIT ME WITH IRL DICK WINTERS. NO. NO I CANNOT. I CANNOT COPE YOU GUYS I AM WEAK I LOVE YOU IRL DICK WINTERS!

04:02 OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD NO DON’T CRY IRL BABY, DON’T CRY I CAN’T HANDLE IT

04:58 RICH. I feel better now. Is it the best idea to be smoking at this point, Rich?

05:12 LOL at Dick staring, and his little smile. Kinda creepy there, Dick.

06:00 This is getting stressful. I am getting stressed.

06:15 Dick I really wish you would move away from the fucking door, I am having a hard enough time as it is

06:40 RICH.

06:45 Oh, nervous boys

06:56 Rich be careful, don’t break the clicky thing

07:27 OH GOD

08:08 OH SHIT

08:20 OH GOD NO. I AM STRESSED.

08:57 OH NO

09:05 OH NOOOOO

09:17 OH NO, OH GOD, FUCK

09:30 GUYS. STRESS.

10:20 JESUS SHIT

10:21 THAT WAS A MESS

11:05 I’m still so scared ahhhh Dick :s

11:08 Oh what did he lose? All his gear?? It’s karma for stressing me out so much.

11:14 That looked like it hurt

11:24 Aw baby. Hey Moriarty.

11:37 Dick coached the basketball team? Cute

11:57 LMFAO at their little crab walks

12:00 Nope. Not that way. Abort abort

12:24 Aw Moriarty looks so scared. It’s OK Moriarty you’re safe with Dad Winters.

13:01 OHHH his little shuddery breath <3 It’s OK! Dick will protect you!

13:33 Dick is just the sweetest, calming him down and cheering him up. And he’s so chill and natural about it.

13:40 “We’re not lost, private, we’re in Normandy.” LOL DICK ILY

14:31 That’s so cute, they’re so desperate to get to Dad <3

14:52 DAFUQ.

14:53 Ohhhh. Still weird. Smart but weird.

16:16 Everyone’s so happy to see Dick <3

16:25 “Who the hell is Hall?” Sorry I snorted lmao

16:55 Dad to the rescue

17:35 DAMMIT BILL. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

17:47 NOT THE HORSE! COME ON, BILL, DAFUQ

18:00 I do not like this. At all.

18:04 STOP.

18:17 DAD IS ANGRY. AND SO AM I.

18:20 Are you trying to step into the vacant punk bitch role, now that Ross is gone, Bill? ILY but come on, man.

18:23 Thank you Joe/Charlie

18:34 BILL. DO NOT.

18:37 Moriarty, baby, it’s OK

18:44 LMAO

19:11 Ew mosquitoes

19:25 Joe/Charlie is the best <3 “What was he gonna do, shout at them?” <3

19:42 Oh dear

20:10 The cows are like lol fuck off, this is our bombed out little field, get your own

20:14 Oh no

20:54 Malark, honey, no

21:24 Dick’s like ohhhhhh

21:44 Malark! Come on, leave him alone

21:50 The biggest plot twist

21:55 Fella’s hot

22:08 Same as you, Malark

22:18 I wouldn’t mind fraternizing with that particular enemy tbh

22:29 Ah. Poor horses </3 The boys had to make do I guess…

22:50 Lieb <3

23:01 Buck’s here too, thank God

23:14 Lord, thank you for his eyes

23:15 Look I feel like the most important issue has not been addressed WHERE THE FUCK IS RICH?

23:26 Dick’s like oh fuck I hope not. Except Dick Winters would never swear

23:32 Speirs! His smile is so creepy.

23:36 Speirs is like I don’t know, and I don’t care, it’s fine. I’m a one-man platoon, everyone else would just slow me down.

23:43 DON’T GIVE THEM TO HIM BUCK

24:03 No baby, you won’t.

24:10 Hot guy knows it, too

24:18 Speirs makes slogging through that mud look so easy lol

24:40 *Sigh*

25:15 Is Joe/Charlie still fixated on getting to Berlin to shank Hitler? Probably

25:58 Lol Speirs is so nosy

27:00 Aw but he bonded with you! Aw baby </3

27:15 Mood, tbh. Lip is literally the only Easy boy I would trust with TNT.

28:05 I don’t know why but this makes me lol. Stop playing hide and seek in the car, Dick

29:57 That’s my aesthetic. Lip and blossoms.

30:13 Speirs, your boy needs you!

31:04 There’s so much happening so fast, I can’t keep up. Which is probably on purpose.

31:21 OK I’M SO SORRY BUT THE “FUCK! MY ASS!” SUBTITLE STAYED ON MY SCREEN FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND I LOST MY SHIT LAUGHING

31:39 Aw, Pop, baby

32:12 So stressful. Again.

32:29 Buck’s like oh cool that’s sick, lemme see

33:05 BUCK! Be careful!

33:18 Joe/Charlie is not having a good time right now. You know what would make things better for him? IF RICH WAS THERE. WHERE. IS. RICH.

34:13 He got his brass knuckles at last, so there’s that.

35:00 Malark!!

35:10 YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

35:30 Lip’s busy being mum, give him a sec

35:55 Love you Moriarty

37:02 I just. The camera. Like shaking and mirroring his running and you can just feel the desperation and the frantic emotions and you can’t tell what’s happening because HE can’t tell what’s happening and it’s all just so rushed and scary and such a scramble and I.

37:38 Noooo

38:02 NOOOOOOOOOO

38:06 Not your fault Dick

38:26 I gasped

38:42 Ohhhh lookey here

38:55 Aw Lip

39:04 JFC. SPEIRS. MY DUDE. ISTG. He just springs up out of nowhere with a pile of ammo. (Also his fingers? JFC Lord have mercy). I feel like he is just SO. EXCITED. TO. KILL. So terrifying.

39:47 LMAO ohhh Lip <3 Your BF is here now, it’s fine.

41:09 I wish my husband would roll in on a tank. Actually no. No I don’t. I would be very concerned and would tell him to put it back where he found it.

41:12 FLIRTING. AGAIN. It’s almost cute enough to distract me from the fact that I HAVEN’T SEEN RICH IN A LONG TIME I AM NOT CONTENT. I do feel like it’s key that that is legit the first thing Nix does upon seeing Dick alive and well <3

42:25 Aw boys. I loved this whole scene.

43:22 Aw lol Dick

43:41 LMFAO GET WRECKED BILL

43:56 Dick your husband is calling you, pay attention

44:11 “Don’t ever get a cat” LMAO. Let your husband open the can, Dick. Aw I love that Nix knows already something is wrong and Dick is upset.

44:47 NIX GO TO HIM

44:55 You will save more people, Dick </3

46:00 Baby

46:30 DESERVED

 Guys I would like to file an official complaint about the lack of Rich.

But God.

This episode. Play time and training time and running around Taccoa and Pottery barn in England with Ross the douchebag, that’s all in the past. Now it’s all real </3

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guild Wars Love Story

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,  Chapters 10 and 11,Chapter 12, Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Dear Miss Mouthy,

Hard to believe that it's been over a month since we saw each other. It seems like only yesterday since I looked into those honey-colored eyes of yours. Since then, I've never been able to look at a bed of hay the same way again. And where'd you learn to kiss like that?? I didn't know charr kissed like humans.

Anyway, the army has blessed me with cold showers so at least it helps maintain my sanity. And speaking of the army... our Seraph platoon has been transferred to Sparkfly Fen. I can't say much due to security reasons, but the foe we are now facing are, shall we say, not among the living.

I've named my revolvers Sweetpea (my dad's) and Lulu. (your dad's). Truth is, I can slaughter an army with those things. Oh, and Bob has claimed his share of rotten heads as well... so no saying anything bad about Bob.

Cynthia is in line for promotion to Second Lieutenant and Brad has just made sergeant. Both of them are fine soldiers and good friends.

So how are things going with you in kitty land?

Love,

Your barn fire-setting beau - Kaleb.

"Hey! Steelblade - get that mangy flea-bitten tail of yours over here, now!"

Krenesh Howlingblade yelled as he and his other closest warband comrade, Navina Bladeflurry, were huddled on the barracks floors laughing while sharing some peculiar works of human literature.

Amalthia Steelblade, now a soldier, slid through the opening in the tent as she stood at attention.

"Reporting for duty, sir!"

"At ease, soldier. Come sit down."

"Yes sir."

Amalthia sat in a circle cross-legged along with her warband companions as their leader, Krenesh, handed her one of the peculiar human books. As she opened the pages, her eyes were greeted with an array of some of the most provocative illustrations she had ever seen.

"One of our scouts found those under the beds in some houses located in an abandoned human village in the Ruined front. And now our people have to work with these perverts? Disgusting!"

"You're telling me. I would get a mouth full of spurs if I did anything like that to you Kren," Navina Bladeflurry said with a laugh.

"And here I thought I was brought here for an intelligence briefing. So much for that, I suppose," Amalthia said sarcastically.

"Oh... but you were, squirt. If we are to be all nicey-nice with these sacks of meat then we gotta learn how they think. My impression of them thus far remains far from positive," Krenesh said laconically as he tossed one of the obscene pieces of literature towards the edge of the bed.

Amalthia perused the objectionable material, studying the various mating positions that humans engaged in. Very carefully, she committed them to memory but always being careful not to let the rest of her warband catch onto this fact.

"I hope you don't mind, sir, if I do a little Ash Legion work on these oh-so disgusting pieces of filth."

"Oh by Burnfur's bottom... I didn't need to see that. Can I go somewhere and vomit now?" Navina said, as she held up an illustration of a female human receiving anal penetration from a norn-sized male.

"I swear, if you - or any other male for that matter - even thinks of doing something like that with me, I'll rip more than just the two round things located between your ears," Navina growled then flung the illustrated material to the ground.

"You know, when I was accepted into this warband, I thought I would be fighting amongst a group of charr who had wills of steel and stomachs of iron. Isn't it amazing how a few dirty pictures can turn my bandmates into squeamish sissies," Amalthia chuckled while gathering up the various pieces of cringe-worthy literature.

Moments later, Legionnaire Agnor Gristleback threw open the tent flap as the rush of displaced air caused loose leaves of the obscene material to go flying throughout the tent. The trio tried desperately to seize the fluttering pieces of paper before their commanding officer had a chance to see what a was actually transpiring.

"You three were supposed to check in at camp HQ five minutes ago. Get those shit-stained tails of yours moving now!"

Navina and Krenesh immediately stood up and gave their superior a full-standing salute. Amalthia, meanwhile, was preoccupied with attempting to retrieve the incriminating pieces as best she could. Agnor glared as she danced about apparently ignoring his presence. Her two bandmates made a desperate series of strange noises hoping to snap her out of her single-minded mission.

"Did you fail to notice the presence of a superior officer, soldier? Or are you just trying to find a way of really pissing me off?"

"Neither, sir. Our warband was just doing a little cross-cultural research on our newfound human allies. I would not be a good soldier if we didn’t gain a proper understanding of how our human friends tick," Amalthia said as she began snatching up more pieces of the offensive literature that had fallen around Agnor's feet.

Suddenly, the stalwart Legionnaire let out a laugh that could be heard clear across the base camp.

"That had to be the most creative piece of bovine scatology that I've heard since commanding this outfit. You just made my day, soldier!"

The big charr gave a hearty salute as he backed away from the tent. Navina, Krenesh and Amalthia too returned his gesture.

"Now get your asses to the patrol station, pronto!" Agnor bellowed as he was leaving before seconds later turning back around then pointing under the bed. "You missed a piece over there, soldier. It's the one with the naked human kneeling behind a sheep."

***

The Blade warband marched westward from their camp at Deathblade's Watch. They were assigned to patrol the parameter of Foulbear Kraal keeping a sharp eye out for any signs of ogre activity. Leading the party, Krenesh took point while Amalthia and Navina covered the flanks. Mia Windreaver and Bogo Flutterblade were tasked with covering the rear.

High overhead, the midday sun scorched the landscape while gusty winds whipped up a flurry of dust devils. The powdery sand burned both eyes and lungs as the warband hunkered down to seek respite from the stifling heat.

"Someone toss me a canteen, I'm blowing enough snot out of my snout to build a sandcastle," shouted Navina who was hunched over trying expectorate the excess silt from her mouth.

Amalthia handed her bandmate an extra container of water along with a bandana. "This piece of cloth might save you from a not of unnecessary discomfort. Use one next time, silly."

Krenesh stopped for a moment then pointed towards a rocky impression located several yards in the distance. "That looks like a cave. We'll set up camp over there."

To their fortune, the Blades found a small nook that provided just enough of a buffer from the hostile elements. As they began to unfurl their supplies, the five bandmates built a campfire then huddled around sitting cross-legged in a semi-circular fashion.

"Yer lookin' mighty disappointed, squirt. Spit it out," Krenesh growled as he looked in Amalthia's general direction.

"I think Navina needs to do the spitting, sir."

"Little Miss Mouthy at it again, eh? I've heard all about that potent little puss of yours."

Amalthia looked at her warband leader and said laconically. "Just bored, that's all. I was honestly expecting more action."

"Oh. You'll see plenty of action, sweetie. Trust me on that one," Navina said between hacking coughs.

"Mouthy is right... one month and no action... this IS boring," Mia interjected while tracing some random circle in the dirt.

"Speaking of monthly action... I'm coming into season in the next few days. When that happens, you'll be getting plenty of  action from me - isn't that right, Kren?" Navina smiled devilishly at her mate.

"Is that all you two ever talk about whenever we go on these missions?" Amalthia looked at her banmate 'sister' with a raised eyebrow.

"War is ten percent action followed by ninety percent sheer and utter boredom. What else is there to talk about other than sex?" Krenesh said with a hearty chuckle.

"Whenever you're done with him, Vina, he's mine next," Mia said with a smile and a wink.

Amalthia looked around feeling unexpectedly awkward around the conversation. "Does anyone know what happened to Bogo?"

"Hrmph! That weirdo never likes to sit amongst his mates whenever we have these conversations. He's never shown interest in any of you three gals. Why is that?" Krenesh chuffed as he threw some pebbles into the campfire.

"I'll go check on him." Amalthia stood up then walked over towards the edge of the nook. She saw Bogo’s lone form sitting down, looking towards the far horizon.

She approached from behind then sat down right beside him. "Hey big fella. Not wanting to be social, I take it."

He shook his head then looked at her with his pale blue eyes and said in a downtrodden tone. "There's nothing they are talking about that interests me."

Looking into those somber eyes, Amalthia suddenly realized something. She reached into her jerkin then pulled out a stack of the obscene pieces of literature she had collected earlier. After thumbing through several of the illustrations, she found one that depicted two naked men engaging acts of carnal pleasure with each other.

"Here. Take it," Amalthia said as she shoved the illustration into the palm of his clawed hand.

Bogo looked at the piece then suddenly his eyes began to light up. "Uhhh. Why are you showing me this? It's disgusting!"

Crossing her legs and giving him a wide-fanged smile, Amalthia chuckled. "Use your imagination! Picture two male charr instead."

"Wha!?" Bogo choked as his eyes went wide with surprise.

"It's okay, Bogo. I don't care. In fact, I think it's rather cute how you react whenever you see other males bathing in the river without their clothes on."

"Uhhh. I... ohh, is it that obvious?"

Amalthia laughed. "It's all over your face. Now who's the cute brute?"

He held his breath for a moment before exhaling the name.

"Tovu."

"Do you mean Tovu Whistlewind? Ha! I should have known!" Amalthia gave him an affectionate tap on the shoulder.

"Please don't tell Kren or anyone else. I'll have my teeth pulled and then I'll be placed in front of a firing squad if anyone ever found out," Bogo said nervously.

"Don't worry, Bogo. Your secret's safe with me. And trust me when I say that we all have our little secrets," Amalthia said with a wink as they sat together for the next half hour talking about various mundane things.

When she arrived back at the camp, Amalthia noticed that all of her bandmates had stripped themselves of their gear and were sleeping on the ground wearing only the pelts they had been born with. Krenesh and Mia were cuddled together while Navina lay off to the side purring in contentment.

As Amalthia approached, one of Navina's eyes sprang open and she quickly shot up to greet her diminutive bandmate.

"What a pity you missed all the action. Did you and Bogo have some fun too?" She asked with a sly wink.

Amalthia shook her head. "Our relationship isn't like that. But I'm happy that the three of you got your grooves on. By the way... I thought you were not in season?"

"Hey! That doesn't mean I have to wait. Anywhoo... I'm still feeling the urge. Wanna do some kit on kit?"

"Um. Hell no!" Amalthia bristled.

"Oh. So touchy! You're not one of those... lifers are you?"

"Lifer?"

"You know, the kind that refuses to share themselves with anyone other than that one 'special' partner."

"You make it sound like a bad thing."

"No. Not at all, sister. I think it's pretty neat that you have someone so special that you are willing to make such a sacrifice," Navina walked over as she affectionately stroked Amalthia's golden mane with her cinnamon-colored hand.

Amalthia looked up at her much larger bandmate and smiled.

Navina held Amalthia closer then asked. "Who is this special someone? I would very much like to know more about them."

Looking briefly into Navina's eyes, Amalthia reached behind her bandmate's head then pulled her in as their furry muzzles locked in a brief but passionate embrace of the tongues. Stunned by what had just happened, Navina backed away.

"Ugh! Isn't that something humans do with each other?"

Amalthia smiled at her. "Admit it, you liked it!"

Navina pursed her lips for a moment then nodded. "I kinda did, in fact. You are welcome to do it again to me anytime. Round two?"

"No. That was only a sampler. Now that I showed ya how to do it, you can do it to both Mia and Kren. This muzzle is reserved for only one," Amalthia smiled as her ears twitched in excitement.

"That must one lucky kitty ya have there. Is he as faithful toward you?"

"He has no reason to be otherwise."

"What's the name of his warband?"

Amalthia rolled her eyes, then placed her clawed finger to the bottom of her lip as she thought about it for a moment. "Grim. Yes, the Grim warband."

"What's his name?"

"Kaleb Grimwald." Amalthia replied.

"Kaleb Grimwald, eh? That's a pretty weird name for a charr. No matter... what’s he look like?"

"He's tall for his type, broad and very horny," came Amalthia's carefully worded but vague description.

"You really aren't giving me specifics. C'mon! Now really... tell me what he looks like!"

Amalthia looked at her non-clothed 'sister' and smiled. "You have an imagination, so use it."

"Fine. Keep your closest warband sister in the dark. Just see if I..."

Bogo suddenly ran into the camp shouting at the top of his lungs. "Ogres approaching!" (Chapter 14 is also up on Google Docs)

[mischievouslittlecreature]