#platonically physically romantically there's so many ways we can love

[severinewrites]

Finding Independence Without Love

Musings of independence with the absence of love feat. Moominvalley

Dependency is common in some relationships and could happen in both platonic and romantic relationships. We see our partners/friends as a source of happiness every time we feel down. Our clinginess strengthens when we have a special person in our lives, thinking of them as a person without flaws or perfect. This can be an unhealthy way of how we act or think in our relationships with other people, we can’t expect they’ll satisfy our needs immediately, it’s like you are viewing them as the top of our pedestal, admiring them a lot.

I am saying this from my perspective as a young adult, I’ve experienced the first time feeling disappointed in my ex-crush when I hear he likes someone else. It hurts a lot to hear from the person you’ve admired for so long like someone other than you, I mean, it’s a universal experience, right? Getting disappointed or rejected, you start to get mad at yourself like hitting, pulling your hair, or even slapping yourself for not getting chosen, you feel like an idiot for being delusional thinking you’re the “one” for them. It’s a tragic feeling, I know—but I tried to forget about them, not as a friend but as a “crush”.

During my Christmas break, I struggled to cope with my feelings, so I doomscrolled YouTube for 10-12 hours for 3 days straight without reaching out to someone because I needed to isolate myself from what happened, trying to forget it ever happened. Then, I stumbled upon a show called “Moominvalley” on my for you page, I decided to watch the clips, and guess what? I fell in love with it quickly even though it’s been 3 days since I knew about this show. Moominvalley is a comforting show, and what intrigued me about the show is the character Snufkin, an easygoing and carefree enjoys thinking about things and always comes and goes as he pleases, going on adventures. Like Snufkin, I enjoy solo trips, I'm not a big fan of trips with my friends (depends on my mood but I prefer solo to groups) since I do treasure my alone time a lot, able to think about stuff or explore everywhere without any people around trying to drain my energy emotionally and physically. With my solo trips, I'm able to reflect on many stuff without any distractions. Just because I enjoy being alone doesn't mean I don't feel lonely… I have friends who care about me a lot—including my ex-crush but despite them being overall supportive and approachable, I can't help but try to push them away from me—isolating myself, especially what happened between my ex-crush and me, I can't face them anymore something that leads me to isolate myself from them and my friends, not wanting help or comfort from them anymore. I shut myself from them, I don't want to make things complicated. Snufkin really relates toMoninn on a deeper level, making him my kin since he does push away friends, has abandonment issues, fears getting attached, is sad on the inside, and struggles to talk/chat with someone.

Through the show Moominvalley, I’ve learned the hard way that even the people you deeply love and admire, you need to accept that you can’t control how they feel or act, because well… they are humans, right? They deserve to feel or act what they want, even having feelings for somebody they like, even if it’s not you. It’s sad because that person made you feel alive or wanted, through the physical touch, words of affirmation, and more—makes me so special to them. Maybe that’s the reason why I fell in love with them in the first place. This also relates to the relationship between Moominttoll and Snufkin, Moominroll being clingy and a bit obsessed to Snufkin makes him admire him because of his adventures but unlike Snufkin, he tries to avoid any attachment to Moomintroll, resulting him to leave everytime to get some alone time or to isolate himself in his adventures. Moomintroll is also one of the characters I've kinned too, him being so clingy towards Snufkin reminds how I acted towards my ex-crush but not as obsessive, just right. Moomintroll has longings for Snufkin, always wanting to be in his side everytime, like how I've wanted to be in my ex-crush's side whenever I have a chance too—but sadly they found someone they always want to be close with… I'm glad for them but I tend to feel lonely without them around, yearning for some message or conversation from them—nothing is the same anymore as before… but that's life, there will be changes, whether you like it or not.

Therefore, I still need time for myself and watch more Moominvalley to find my purpose in life outside heartbreaks. Even I would love to talk/chat with them, it’s time to use this vacation to take a break from them for a while, giving myself time to grow as an independent person—not needing their comfort or help and focusing on my passion for writing, like what I am doing right now. Sometimes, we need to depend on ourselves, without needing anyone to fix us. That's what I did to cope.

To end this, I would like to add a quote from Moominvalley from the character Snufkin, he once said:

“You can't ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.” - Snufkin (Moominvalley 2019)

This quote explains we can't really be free if we admire that special person too much, draining your energy mentally and emotionally. I wish I've heard this show during my childhood then I wouldn't have to deal with heartbreaks all of the sudden. But I guess things happen for a reason. Moominvalley is truly a masterpiece, especially the creator itself Tove Jansson, the one responsible for making this beautifully crafted show for us to love and enjoy, making us learn meaningful lessons.

We humans seek longing, wanting be loved by that person we admired but I know we're better than that—I’m better than that anyways! We know that those people we love are humans too, so why waste our time waiting for approval from them? We could try to look after ourselves and be a independent with or without them—needing no love from them at all! Love can wait but not with hopes and dreams, our passions in life are much more important than some hopeless romance. We don't need that person we deeply admire to take over our lives, we should move forward and never look back! It's such a shame not to take a chance to do what you're passionate about when we only live once.

With Moominvalley, It's possible for us to grow to independent individuals thriving to make the world a better place! With my strong love for writing, I could write freely, writing down my musings, feelings, and emotions. I’m grateful to be alive where the world is filled with endless possibilities, where you can be free from everything! Be who you want to be, explore everything until you find your purpose—that’s the beauty of independence without love!

“It is simply this: do not tire, never lose interest, never grow indifferent—lose your invaluable curiosity and you let yourself die. It's as simple as that.” - Tove Jansson (Fair Play 1989)

[arthursfuckinghat]

Take!!! A gamble!!!! That love exists!!!! And do!!!! A loving!!!!!! Act!!!!!!!!

[notherpuppet]

Hi! Question here that pop in my brain and got me curious about QPR since that is the main relationship of My Deer Nanny.

Ok, im in a hetero relationship and reading more and more radioapple has really opened my eyes to those on the Ace spectrum and the types of relationships presented jn stories, thank you Alastor for that.

Ok. So the relationship is not sexual in nature, more emotional intimacy right? So, how does falling in love feel for those in a QPR? So many of us tie falling jn love with the sexual aspect as well, especially in stories, I'm interested in learning about the other side of it. With Al and Luci, are we going to see them fall in love? (The more than anything panel with Al's reaction had me wondering)

Don't worry, I'm not gonna ask a out sex, I really enjoy the relationship in the story as QPR, and I'm super into smut, it's my go to, but I discovered QPR though this story and love it just as much as some of the other stuff I read.

Not...really sure if my question is clear...

How does emotional intimacy grow in a QPR when only 1 partner is Ace or heck, even both? How does it differ from "typical" relationships where the physical and emotional intimacy develop, if they even differ at all?

Hiiii, so imma start off with leaving this link here: QPR info

And I wanna say everyone has their own individual experiences. Language is a lovely tool, but it has its limitations. Especially with matters of the heart and mind.

In My Deer Nanny, my intention is to depict a relationship where Alastor and Lucifer grow to love each other, but it’s not “falling in love”.

So much of the fun of making this AU is using characters I adore to spotlight different depictions of love. I experience love like-every day! It’s great! (Family, friends, music, art, hobbies, and mostly my love for radioapple lol).

In the most recent post, I wanted to show Alastor’s sincere love for music intersecting with his surprise over Lucifer’s musical talent. For anyone who is also a music lover, I’m sure you have experienced the enchantment of live music and the chills you can get from an exceptional vocalist. 🤩🤤🎶

My Deer Nanny is a radioapple AU, so it is focused on the love and bond developing between Lucifer and Alastor. It’s not romantic love, but maybe a way to describe my approach could be “platonic love romanticized”??? Hmmm

IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTION 🥰

[andy-wm]

I don’t think this is what he meant especially because Namjoon said he gets how he feels and shook his hand after. We all know Namjoon is single for a while now after going through a nasty breakup. Jimin and Jungkook’s bond is precious even though it’s now clearly not romantic.

He also said “Although I feel this way it’s not sad…” when speaking about Who. I think Jimin is strongly indicating that he has been single for a while. We should really take his words for what they are rather than trying to twist them into a narrative that makes jikook romantic. In the context of everything he said earlier in the video up until the Who talk it seems that he created Who to have the direct message of searching for his person. He was speaking about the song when he said that he felt this way. Not having those butterflies is what he is referring to when he says he feels flat, not sad but not exciting. Even if currently platonic jikook have a precious bond.

Imo these three sentences sums up MUSE and WHO perfectly instead of those essays wanting to connect it to jikook because we want them to be real :

https://x.com/jkyoongs/status/1814588120291287475

This is exactly what he told, meant and going through when he created this album. It's sad Jikook is not involved romantically but they still have a great bond given their trips and now enlistment but if Jimin is saying he's single without even feeling butterflies to fall in love then we have to accept that guys.

Hey Anon, thanks for this ask. Its so great to interact with someone who disagrees with me but doesn't have a huge chip on their shoulder about my views.

And honestly i can see that there are many ways to look at this situation.

Nobody can without a doubt claim they are romantic partners, just like nobody can without a doubt claim they are not. You and I have differing perspectives based on what we see and how we interpret it. We probably have different ways of seeing the world and different experiences of love.

And if one day we all find out that they were really just friends, I’ll shake your hand and, without screaming or crying, I'll accept that i was wrong. I hope you would do the same.

But right now, I don't think I am wrong on this.

Looking at the whole picture it seems to me that they are very much still romantic partners.

More like an old married couple with complicated and busy lives, but

Clearly still very focused on each other.

Clearly delighted with each other.

Clearly care deeply for each other.

Clearly spend a lot of time together despite being so busy.

Clearly attracted to each other.

Clearly physically comfortable with each other.

That's how i see it.

Am i prepared to die on the hill that their relationship is romantic? No, because I can't possibly know for absolute certain. Same reason i dont believe in god (although i think Jikook is more plausible than an old guy sitting in the clouds watching humanity like he's playing The Sims, just quietly... and yes bring on all the anon haters who are gonna want to thrash me because i'm an atheist).

But on the balance of evidence I'd say ...

they're still together.

Lets talk about MiniMoniMusic.

As for the Minimoni video, Jimin was there to talk about the album. It wasn't a conversation about his personal life.

He talked about not having excitement in his life, about his life being bland, and empty after suspending group activities. They hadn't been active as a team, and he was working really hard. It was a long time since he felt excited about something.

That sense of excitement was compared to having a crush and confessing his feelings. He said he can't remember the last time he felt that way, and the journey of MUSE was to make him feel excited again.

Tracks 1-5 were exploring the exciting emotions, like you would have when you're crushing on someone. That euphoria, the fizz in your belly, the high energy etc. That's what excitement feels like.

The crush conversation... This is the part that's throwing everyone.

He said he couldn't even remember the last time he had a crush, and Joon says I know how you feel and he and Joon laughed about that.

If it was because they've both come out of long term relationships (and we know Joonie's breakup was traumatic) why would they laugh?

They weren't laughing about being single, they were laughing about being OLD.

Remember what came next ... Jimin says the youngest in his band is really young so Jimin asked him about how a crush feels:

"Give me something since you're the youngest"

Because having a crush is something teenagers feel.

Jimin and Joon feel old, like they are a bit past having crushes. I believe that's what they're saying. And honestly, when was the last time you heard 30 year old men talking about their crush?

A crush and a long term romantic partner are two very different things.

At no point did he say he wasn't in a relationship.

+++++++++++++++

Edited to add a better translation of 'crush' , being one sided/unrequited love.

I'm not deleting what i originally posted because the reason jimin asked Evan is based on his youth.

+++++++++++++

One more thing i need to add...

In my experience, it's very difficult to go from being in a long term relationship to being platonic besties with your former romantic partner. It takes a LOT of work, and it requires energy, effort, and very carefully maintained boundaries.

Jimin & JK don't look like they're maintaining boundaries to me.

Based purely on the recent footage - the Are You Sure teaser they released - I see no sign of clear boundaries. Even in the Minimoni conversation Jimin says they drink and talk for 3-4 hours and it gets DEEP. That's a recipe for disaster with a former lover.

It also usually requires substantial time apart - YEARS maybe - to reset the relationship so you can be best friends without falling into old habits. We aren't talking high scool boyfriends who get the odd hour alone together here. We're talking months and months abroad in hotel rooms with nothing to do except listen to Lana Del Rey and... eat bread (apparently) 🤣🤣

Ok look, that last part was a tongue in cheek joke but they have spent YEARS under the same roof with zero reason not to be in each others bed, pants, shower, and anything else that sounds fun.

So honestly I don't buy the 'used to be lovers but now good friends' argument.

Those boys are comfortably intimate to such a level they don't know where one of them ends and the other begins.

[sugarcubetikki]

If you didn’t know, Christian Linke recently said that they weren’t intending to make Jayce and Viktor romantic but just to show a really close relationship between men which they believe is underrepresented in media.

Of course, as expected, antis have taken this as a way to shut down gay interpretations and bring up how “romanticising a relationship that is meant to be brotherly demeans it”. It is definitely important to have relationships that depict multiple forms of love and yes at its core we can all agree that Jayce and Viktor are two men who love each other.

I believe that despite what Christian Linke says, the way one chooses to interpret that love ultimately falls on the viewer, as their relationship/love can resonate with people in many different ways.

I personally view Jayvik to be partners, friends and lovers because it resonates with me as a queer fan. I personally see a lot of queercoding in the way they were written and that makes it hard for me to perceive them as not having a romantic love.

For example:

Viktor being shown to take Mel’s place in many scenes like Jayce hallucinating him with after Mel and he’s wearing her black eyeshadow.

Mel x Jayce sex scene overlaps with the scene of Viktor becoming entwined with the Hexcore in a way that it makes it difficult for you to even focus on Mel and Jayce.

Amanda mentioning that Viktor was projecting his relationship with Jayce onto Sky this season - the whole science-y bond.

Viktor making the “this is not the bedroom” joke when Mel catches him and Jayce trying to sneak into the lab.

This all resonates with me as queer comphet and their love for each other being superior to that of their romantic interests also feels very queer for me.

And I have the right to interpret them in that way. I respect the way Christian Link interprets them and has shown to depict them but I personally do not see their relationship in the same way and I believe characters are just as much as the audience’s as they are the creators so my interpretation is also valid.

(Also, creators genuinely don’t always agree with each other and they differ in opinions when it comes to interpretations of characters/relations whilst Christian Linke may not see their love as romantic. I believe there might be other creators who do which could explain some of the ambiguity in their scenes).

Also, to the antis, queer love is also a valid form of love, it can exist with/without physical intimacy and still be queer.

Perceiving Jayvik as queer does not demean their love for each other at all. Perceiving them as having a platonic or brotherly bond isn’t wrong either. All forms of love are pure. Queer or not. Jayce and Viktor’s love for each other is pure and can be seen no matter how you interpret it.

The beauty of a story or a piece of art is enabling the perceived to interpret it in a way it resonates with them and it may not be what the creator intended and it may not be what resonates with you but it is still a valid interpretation.

That is to say I also respect platonic readings of their relationship despite not personally seeing it because you have the right to interpret them in the way you want to. And I am asking you to do the same for me and give me the right to interpret them in the way I want to.

[gardenschedule]

could you elaborate on your tags from that "writing about white walls" post?

I don't think this is a very unique take here but basically I believe that John was trying to achieve certain goals via Yoko's presence, and it was an intentional and purposeful disruption of the Lennon-Mccartney relationship. John, Yoko and Paul, as well as many fans and authors, treat this disruption as an inadvertent, inevitable side effect of the johnandyoko love story, that they were just so obsessed with each other Paul naturally got pushed to the side and it couldn't be helped, but I really think that was the whole damn point. I wouldn't go so far as to claim that was their point of J&Y's *relationship*, but I certainly think it was the reason John refused to physically separate from her while he was still active in the beatles.

I mean, the thing about John and Yoko is that their relationship was just kind of bizarre and confusing, right? You can, in fact, be in love and also be in separate rooms, you can have a job and a wife at the same time, you can have a creative partner and a romantic partner simultaneously. For some reason John couldn't, and the way he/Paul explain it is so weak and unsatisfactory. Like:

“. . . I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away. And I understood that. I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, “Who’s this?” You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and… But you know I mean in this case I just sort of said, right – I mean, I didn’t say anything, but I could see that was the way it was going to go, and that Yoko would be very sort of powerful for him. So um, we all had to get out the way.”

I mean, that shit is insane?? It makes no sense for a platonic partnership. For Mclennon shippers, it can be interpreted in a way that makes some sense. But the rest of the world can't make sense of it, so they latched onto blaming Yoko for decades. And while it's partially racism and misogyny, it's mostly because people intuitively know there's something really weird about the way things went down and the best explanation they can come up with is that she manipulated or bewitched John somehow. I don't think that's the case. John can be pretty gullible and he loves a guru, but he's not so delusional he wouldn't foresee the conflict and tension that being joined at the hip 24/7 and trying to bring her into the immediate beatles circle would cause. I don't believe he could be manipulated into thinking it would be tolerable or positive for the group. He would never have accepted another beatle doing the same thing, he acknowledged this himself:

JOHN: But I understand how they felt, because if it had been Paul or George and Ringo that had fallen in love with somebody and gotten totally involved, suddenly… It wasn’t like, you know, somebody – George coming in and saying, “I’m going to work with Eric Clapton in a band now, and screw you.” It wasn’t that kind of thing at all. It was just suddenly this involvement.

I think he knew perfectly well it would be received badly, but there were beneficial outcomes he hoped for. On that post I said it could be taken as both an aggressive or defensive move, I reckon it's probably a mix of both. It could be seen as a power grab. He's got himself an ally in the studio who will unconditionally support him, increased artistic credibility (notably in a type of art Paul was also into), the implicit threat that he doesn't need Paul or the group, the leverage that comes with needing the others less than they need him, and the ability to induce creative, professional and personal jealousy in Paul specifically. After all, that's exactly how Paul most effectively hurt John:

JOHN: [Paul] even recorded that all by himself in the other room, that’s how it was getting in those days. We came in and he’d – he’d made the whole record. Him drumming, him playing the piano, him singing. Just because – it was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that, but he couldn’t – couldn’t – maybe he couldn’t make the break from The Beatles, I don’t know what it was. But you know, I enjoyed the track. But we’re all, I’m sure – I can’t speak for George, but I was always hurt when he’d knock something off without… involving us, you know? But that’s just the way it was then.

On the other hand, John at the time was particularly vulnerable and sensitive. Yoko must have been a protective mechanism, a barrier between himself and the person most able to hurt his feelings and his confidence, she made him feel good about himself and his art. He may not have been able to cope with the pressure unless she was there to believe in him and create some distance between him and Paul, to give him some physical and emotional space from the intensity of their relationship and competitive rivalry. And if we put our tinfoil hats on, we can certainly speculate that showing off a shiny new partner is an effective way to deal with unreciprocated feelings or romantic/sexual rejection.

Truthfully, sometimes I feel like John wanted Paul to be badly hurt by this situation so much that he kind of convinced himself of it? I have a tonne of quotes about how Paul reacted to Yoko here, and one thing I notice is that John seems to exaggerate how much Paul hated her, and Yoko's a lot less accusing. That's not to say Paul wasn't jealous, but he clearly made efforts to hide it. We have evidence that Paul tried his best to be accepting and kind despite how negatively it affected him. He went out of his way to help and defend them on multiple occasions, and yet John still thinks that Paul was singing 'Get Back' to her directly or he can't stand them being in love or whatever. It seems almost like wishful thinking on his part, which makes perfect sense if you think his goal was to hurt Paul in the first place.

[cushfuddled]

what are your thoughts on the "Arcane Viktor was meant to be ace" that has been said in an interview? Like yes - word of god feel free to ignore - but they said they tried to write him that way. Do you think they succeeded?

Hiya! Thanks for the ask! :D

I was honestly shocked to hear Linke "always" meant to depict Viktor as asexual. It strikes me as a deeply disingenuous comment, not least of all because I want to believe someone who "always thought of Viktor as asexual" and was driven by a desire to make ace people happy would...I dunno...display a slightly better grasp of what "asexuality" even means.

LINKE: I know there are some people who ask this. There is a love. I don't think it's romantic…I remember many, many years ago also thinking about this when we started developing these characters. To me, I can say something here now that would be good for you and bad for me because it will be a wildfire. To me, Viktor was always asexual, and that was always something we talked about from the very beginning. So, a romantic relationship between Jayce and Viktor was just never part of it. There is a love, absolutely, but we also found it a bit... Love and relationships are so complex and take so many different forms. Viktor loves in a different way, and that's okay, no? ...It's something that when we talk to our LGBTQ group within Riot, I remember asking the group many, many years ago, like, "What is something that you never see depicted very well?" And someone said asexuality. They say it's often depicted as, like, emotionless when it's not true at all. It's just that your feelings don't mix with physical. So, to me, that was always part of Viktor. [x]

I didn't feel seen at all by this kind of retroactive ace rep, but I did feel truly, deeply moved by the fandom's response.

Because I know this song and dance. A showrunner or someone with similar "creative authority" describes a character as ace or aro, and the fancops take out their soap boxes and declare,

"All right, everybody! You heard the man! No more sexy fanfic and fan art! This ace/aro character is officially off limits!"

And then aro and ace people like me, who ENJOY smutty fanfic and fan art and want to see our favorite Barbie dolls kiss, are viciously harassed for our hubris. For at least a year I watched my favorite TMA fan artist get dogpiled to hell for daring to draw NSFW art ofJonathan Sims. And yes, this artist was also ace! To fancops, the opinions of aces and aros who like to consume or create smut don't count. We're all "degen" traitors who deserve to be bullied out of fan spaces for the sake of The Good Ones.

So anyway! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Christian Linke came out of the hole in my wall and told me Viktor and Jayce aren't gay.

“Was there ever a ship?” LINKE: “It’s strange that people say that’s the only close relationship that two men could have is to be a couple, you know? There’s really close friendships and like, brotherhoods if you will…like, really being there for each other. Um. [That] is something that was…really important for us to explore. So…it seems like there’s no other version, you know? For some fans, they say like, ‘Hey, there must be romance,’ and we’re like…these relationships can be really layered and really complex, you know? I think there is some kind of…there is a love between them. I just don’t think it’s romantic, you know?” [x]

(If I have to hear one more creator clap back at a hopeful "could they be gay?" with a bizarrely defensive spiel about the transcendent magic of platonic bonds and how men aren't allowed to foster close platonic relationships I'm gonna hemorrhage something, but that rant already lives over here so whatever)

First of all...

:3c

...For someone so committed to propping up the ace and aro community with canon rep, this November 28 2024 version of Christian Linke sure doesn't mention asexuality or aromanticism at all. The genergous ellipses from the excerpt above aren't a creative embellishment on my part. Those pauses are very much apparent on the Twitch stream. Linke appears to really dig for the right words here, yet the terms "asexual" or "aromantic" evade capture. But sure, asexuality was "always" a part of Viktor for Linke.

Maybe Linke didn't want to draw fire from fans with a "Dumbledore is gay" moment, so he left any definitive terminology off the table. In any case, I watched the Jayvik community respond to Linke's Twitch stream like so:

This was, to put it mildly, fucking hysterical. I've never seen a community so decisively "...anyway" a showrunner over queer rep before.

This is horribly unfair for me to assume, given I know next to nothing about Linke and his capacity for petty vengeance. His timing could be totally coincidental, his efforts completely genuine. But the fact that Linke dropped this ace Viktor bomb less than two weeks after his Twitch stream smells like a tantrum to me. In my least charitable vision, I see a man who declared Jayvik platonic by order of Authorial Intent, watched his fandom go, "That's nice grandpa. So about that Hextech sex toy fic—", and was so offended by shippers' casual disregard as to "strike back" with something they couldn't possibly ignore. Thus the "Viktor was ace the whole time" card, when

The word you're looking for is "aromantic," Linke. That's the one to do with romantic attraction.

I know it can be difficult to canonize asexuality and aromanticism. If someone tried to kiss Viktor and Viktor pulled back like, "I don't feel things that way"...would that reaction be enough to make Viktor canonically aro? Perhaps Viktor would need to clarify: "I don't feel things that way." "Which way?" "The...romantic way.” “I don't understand." "You are my partner, Jayce. I love you. I want to be with you. But I will never want to kiss you." I’m tempted to champion that second option, but I can see the argument for less stringent criteria. Ambiguity is...organic, I guess. Too much clarification can read as disingenuous and preachy, like one of those after school specials. Still: I've spent too many years dancing for table scraps to ascribe sanctity to headcanons.

At the end of the day I just don't buy Viktor as ace/aro per Linke and Lee's creative vision. Sky felt like such a classic case of "straight key jangling" to me—i.e. a one-dimensional female character who exists to reinforce a male character's straightness. (My favorite example of this phenomenon = the time Cas Supernatural became mortal ((and thus capable of sexual attraction)), met a woman, slept with her, then killed her within the span of a single episode. Why showrunners seem to believe a female love interest invalidates queer readings, I cannot begin to guess). Even as Viktor pulled his hands away from Sky's—even as Sky told him, “No you won't"—I couldn't help but feel like Linke and Lee had a bullhorn to my ear the whole show: "Oh no, these poor lost ships in the night! How tragic, that Sky was so ready to love Viktor with all his faults and cracks, and Viktor could've found love and purpose outside his work had he only stopped long enough to notice! How tragic, that Viktor only came to understand the nature of Sky's feelings for him after his work had stolen her away! How tragic, that the thing Viktor so desperately craved was right there the whole time, from the moment he launched that toy boat to the night he activated the Hexcore!" It felt like Sky was meant to represent potential, a la the limitless expanse of the heavens. In such a complex cast, Sky stands out like a sore (cardboard) thumb. When Viktor lost Sky to his ambition, she was forever frozen as a "what could have been," reduced to a symbol of roads untraveled. With all those Vibes in the air, I'm like...uh...Linke? Tell me again about how you wanted me to read Viktor as aro this whole time???

I'm sure some ace and aro folks were bolstered by this situation, and lord knows I don't want to yuck on anybody's yums. But for me personally, Linke's comments were like a punch to the throat. It felt like Linke wanted to use me as a police baton to beat back the hordes of evil shippers. What meant the world to me was, once again, the fandom's response. NO ONE TOOK THE BAIT. At least here on Tumblr, all I saw were ace, aro, and allo fans A. clarifying ace and aro terminology, and B. creating smut out of spite.

I cannot stress how fucking INSANE this was to witness as someone who's dealt with a lot of shame re: my aegosexuality. I've never felt so seen and supported as an ace person by a fandom community. Every Jayvik fic with a "this one's for you, Linke"-esque note adds another five years onto my life. I seriously love you all. Please keep being your glorious selves.

[amourdivine]

୨ ♡ ୧︰ WHOSE MIND ARE YOU ON?   ઉ   PAC.

Hello, angels! I hope you're doing well! Today, I bring to you one of my favorite reading topics. Let's get curious and see whose mind are you on, shall we? If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com via paypal! xo ♡

›    none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise. ›    personal readings are closed [as of february 2024] ›    navigation ♡ masterlist ♡ payhip

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR PILE.  take a few deep breaths and look at each picture separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

ace of pentacles ✧ the tower ✧ two of wands

Oh, this is someone whom you've had a huge falling out with. The aftermath has left both of you scarred, the foundation of your connection has crumbled, but both of you still check up on one another. For one half of this pile, this is purely platonic, like an ex friend or co-worker. For the other half, this was a friends with benefit situation... feelings made things even messier and the two of you got caught up in a thunderstorm.

Regardless, this person holds so much love and so much hatred inside their heart. They're so angry, but they miss you so much. They look at your old photos, reminisce on old memories. I just saw a best friend necklace in my mind's eye. They want to talk to you, but in that exact same second, they are reminded that things aren't that way anymore. It pains them, it ails them.

They likely write about you in the form of poetry, maybe journaling. They listen to songs about you, maybe even watch or read tarot readings in the hopes of finding closure. I genuinely don't think this person means any harm towards you, you're just both incredibly hurt by one another and I think distance has done you well so far. The waters need to calm down before the two of you can talk again, feelings need to be addressed and processed before you can cross paths.

This person misses you so badly, but I think the thought of this connection still brings up a lot of triggers to the surface. You may have some harsh aspects in synastry that create this tension or perhaps the two of you are fire signs. Sort of like a harsh Mars and Pluto aspect, but take it how it resonates. For your sake, it's important you address the feelings you have for this person (be it rage, hatred or love) so you don't feel trapped by this situation.

channeled messages and signs: best friend, betrayal, 10 of swords, "how could you?", "i stay up thinking of you", pinky promises, bikes, red sweater, october, insecure, competitive, jealous, leo, pick me, saturn, 333, 7, "you were mine".

୨୧ PILE TWO

the world ✧ the sun ✧ three of cups

Ah, this is someone who's away from you physically, but not emotionally. They love you so much. It's possible they have traveled for work or study temporarily, but they can't wait to come home to you, to be in your arms. It feels a mix of platonic and romantic energy, so please take it how it resonates. It could be someone who hasn't confessed their feelings to you verbally, but I think it's pretty darn obvious.

Either way, you make this person so happy, so giddy, so full of hope and love. You remind them that there are better times ahead and I think there's something about your smell, your embrace or smile that this person adores. You inspire them in so many ways, there's literally no one like you in this world. You're their favorite - and I think it's a mutual feeling here.

If this is someone whom you've met online, they're so eager to meet you. They probably daydream about it, they're taking active steps towards it too. They hope for ice cream-filled days under the sun and walking with you in the park. I feel very idyllic, it's wholesome and adventurous at the same time.

You bring a sense of courage and strength in this person, I think you're their "energy booster" in a way, either through your words or just who you are in general. You give this person a bit of a sweet, but fun adrenaline rush. They're so excited by the thought of you.

channeled messages and signs: cottagecore, wifey, strawberries, hot pink, neon green, astronomy, lauv, riding shotgun, roadtrip, plane flights, concert tickets, airports, "baby blue", kpop, "bestie", "bae".

୨୧ PILE THREE

ten of cups ✧ six of pentacles ✧ seven of swords (clarified by the two of cups)

This is someone well established and hardworking, someone who seems quite happy on the surface. They live in a shiny world, a perfect world. At least that's what it looks like on the surface.

This person is married and may have children already. You work with them, or under them. However happy or well-meaning this person may seem towards you, they are secretly very, very attracted to you. They want something more than professional or platonic with you, but they're keeping it under wraps right now.

I can't help but feel icky, like this person wants to have it all and that means going behind their partner's back in order to have you. I don't think they would ever come right and clean about this to anyone in this situation. You're like a shiny object this person wants to collect for themselves, but it's not like they'd care for you in any capacity. I Want it All by Arctic Monkeys started playing in my head. I think this is probably this person's view towards the world.

The Eight of Cups is at the back of the deck - be sure to not engage with this person emotionally, or any more than you already have. They're not honest about their feelings or intentions and it shows in the way they're sneaking around, while their partner's blissfully ignorant about it. Cheater, fuckboy energy!

channeled messages and signs: black and white, indie pop, millenial, 1989, 1990, power dynamics, chief, corporate nightmare, suits, fanfiction, beard, "don't look back", the fray, melancholia.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

five of cups ✧ seven of wands ✧ knight of swords

Whoever this is, I feel a more childish, impulsive energy. I don't know if this person is still in your life, but chances are they regret something they did or said to you. They're mourning your connection for the time being. I think you pulled away from them over a boundary they crossed or you stood your ground and they weren't expecting it. The friction here may not have been grand, but it was enough to make them feel guilty, regretful and even ashamed.

They're looking back on their actions and they're wishing they had a do-over. For some reason, I feel like this person is younger than you or just less experienced. They have a "younger sibling" feel to them, someone who's still a page. You were a source of stability and comfort to them, I think they still look up to you in some way, because I feel that they're ashamed over disappointing you.

However, as sad as it is, it doesn't seem like the end of your connection, for most of you. If this is a family member, like a cousin or sibling, chances are you'll both need to let this "marinate" and come back to talk about it later. They want to talk it out with you regardless, so it's not as definite as it may have seemed before. Even if you do have your guard up towards this person and vice-versa, give this connection a chance. I honestly feel like there's still a lot of love and admiration left between the two of you.

channeled messages and signs: "i wish you were here", victory, number 7, stubborn, "i'm the older one!", nitpicky, play-fighting, gossip, lullabies, bedtime stories, "i was trying to protect you", defensiveness, muddy waters, family portraits, petty, blocked.

୨୧ PILE FIVE

queen of pentacles ✧ the star ✧ five of pentacles ✧ three of wands

This is a motherly person. They could be an actual mother, an aunt, a grandma, or simply someone who embodies these nurturing traits, almost to the point of being a little overbearing. It can also be a "mom friend", someone who cares for others by giving them gifts. They're well established and might give unsolicited advice in regards to career, finances or relationships, but they mean well.

The reason why you're on this person's mind is because they're wishing you well. Maybe you suffered a loss recently, or you've been depressed and this person is hoping you can recover soon. I think you may have distanced yourself from others, but this person wants to help you. Still, they're waiting on you to reach out to them.

It's possible they've sent you flowers or "get well soon" texts and cards. I don't know why I get the feeling you were or are sick, struggling in some type of visible way and that's why they're worried. Maybe to you it doesn't seem like a big deal, but since this person is more experienced, they know how to deal with certain things and they really want to help you.

They might have offered you to stay at their place, or maybe have cooked you soup. I get very lovely, nurturing feelings from this pile. They wish you well and hope you can cheer up soon! For some, this is a person from your home country? You may be studying or working abroad and this mother figure wants you to take care of yourself. Aw!

channeled messages and signs: south korea, china, "i'm fine! i promise", subway, skip and loafer, exam season, 555, big city, hometown, missing the train, "i'm running late", overprotective, homemade meals, flu season, childhood movies, growing up, middle age crisis.

୨୧ PILE SIX

eight of cups ✧ eight of wands ✧ ten of swords ✧ the sun

This is such a back and forth energy, pile six. I won't lie, it feels difficult but exciting... but also really difficult? This person has been in and out of your life multiple times. You fight and then get back to each other. Then you fight again, going round and round.

It's interesting because The Sun is here, so you do make each other very happy, but you also make each other very miserable. I think this dynamic moved very fast unexpectedly. There's lots of attraction, but also lots of heartbreak. It could be a friends with benefits situation, maybe an ex you can't get over. I also heard "sneaky link" and the messages feel quite 18+, if you get what I mean.

You see, you enjoy this person's presence very much. Even when they tease you. And you've hurt each other many times, but I think you can't stop coming back to one another. There's this strange, unbreakable bond, but it's also a connection that triggers the both of you a lot and could've turned quite toxic.

This is the only pile where I had to pull more than four cards to channel the messages and I got the Queen of Wands. I think both of you are drawn to each other like moths to a flame, but there's some maturing needed if this connection is meant to progress. I didn't include advice in the previous pile, but the High Priestess came out for you as advice. So make sure to tune in to your emotions, your needs and how this person is engaging with you. Is this something truly fulfilling for you? How are you being called to step up your boundaries, your words and your actions? Connect to what you truly desire for yourself.

channeled messages and signs: "in my feels", drake songs, coquette aesthetic, water by tyla, pink hat, y2k, black girl magic, it girl, jennie kim, long hair, neon lights, freeze, nail art, "know your worth", boss, "cheer up buttercup", "you're so high maintenance", work crush, toxic by britney spears.

DISCLAIMER. Tarot is a divination tool, it’s not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. I don’t take responsibility for any choices made by you or others regarding my readings. Be mindful ♡

[luffyvace]

Uvogin x reader who’s as big as him ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Loll i thought this would be cute and funny!

His reaction to you being as big as him depends on your status to him

if your a passerby and the troupe’s current goal is to wreck havoc he’ll have fun beating up someone the size of him 😃

just because he’s not fighting “tiny ants” for once

- Uvogin

but if your in the troupe or good friends from meteor

he is definitely a lot more happy about you being bigger like him

now you’ve been promoted from a tiny ant to an equal 😎

sparring with him is always fun

and handy since he’s really strong so he definitely pushes your limit, making you stronger too!

if you don’t like to spar he’ll probably throw punches at you anyway and basically make you fight by attacking so you at least have to defend

he probably went up to you first and started a conversation after he saw you two were the same size

he likely started the convo like the two of you were old friends

it’s that moment when you instantly hit it off with someone because of a big similarity you share

(get it?! a big similarity?! 😆)

if your in the troupe he’d enjoy partnering up with you a lot

you, him and nobunaga may become a trio

you two probably earn a unspoken nickname of giant duo or something like that

arm wrestling is a thing.

no questions asked.

seriously tho he practically makes you, like how he makes you spar

sparring is more like play fighting for him 😂 (just for the record)

drinking contests is also a thing 😋 (if you like to)

ngl I’m betting that he might win-

LOL

of course we love reader here 💪💋💪💋 (HAHAHHAHA)

but just knowing how many beers he chugged that one time I gotta bet on him 🤷‍♀️

he likes your strength, might I mention

of course he does!

even if you don’t work out/kill your still probably stronger than most because of your height

muscles or not

picking each other up is a back and forth thing

Most times when you do it’s to throw him……for being a jerk

but he usually does it to you in an affectionate way

plus he thinks it’s funny if you don’t like it

so he may do it just to annoy you

but it’s also good to be able to pick each other up if the other is over exerted from a fight

also..

(if you have them…..)

flexing and seeing who has bigger muscles is a friendly competition til it’s not

then it becomes a sparring match and whoever wins has bigger muscles

despite the physics of who’s is actually bigger 😊👍

Whoever’s is stronger must be bigger right?? 🤨

but if you somehow manage to keep it from turning into sparring then it’s really goofy

”hurrr look at MY big musclessss!!” 💪💪

”noooo! Mine are biggerrrrr” 💪💪💪💪

”lies! Obviously mine are the biggest” 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

”HURRRR! See! *obviously straining* mine are even bigger than yours!” 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

he’s not very romantic in conclusion

it’s more like a queer platonic relationship

because he’s definitely still very physically affectionate towards you (more than anyone else <3)

his love languages are obviously physical touch and quality time

you two are practically inseparable

mostly because Uvo tags along any outing you go to

he’s bored and your the most interesting person he knows

and especially as one he can relate to,

he’s very prone to following you around 🤷‍♀️💗

and then we have physical touch!

where regardless of whether you like it or not (he does not listen to any complaints you have) he kisses you randomly throughout the day!

a kiss when you get up, a kiss when you go out, a kiss after not seeing each other for a long time, a kiss after a favor- WHENEVER!

kisses, kisses, kisses.

kisses? kisses.

he will also casually throw an arm around your shoulder pretty often

which you might mind a lot less

if your in the troupe they’ve pretty much gotten used to his affectionate ways so thankfully they don’t make fun of you (except maybe shal and fei)

they don’t see you two as weak because of it so don’t worry

he does it to them too after all so they know how you feel 😭

especially shal 🤦‍♀️💖

which not to mention shal is probably close to you as well

uvo basically makes all his friends your friends too

just because he likes seeing his people together

so even if your not in the troupe and your from meteor,

once he fully trusts you, you’ll get introduced to the troupe in a jiffy 😂💜

I love this concept it’s adorable

I’ve seen some Uvo stans out there before, so here’s to adding to the little content there is for him ♡

[cursedkeyboard]

Funnily enough, I've never been too big of a Jason Todd fan. Not because I don't like him, he's a great character, but because DC fails over and over again to give him justice and treat him right.

The number of times alone this boy has been beaten by his adoptive father, betrayed, and forgotten are far too many, far too much.

And the constant portrayal of Jason as this volatile, violent, mindless man is tiresome, lazy in all senses of the word and overdone. I understand that Jason was unstable after he left the pit, I mean, who wouldn't? The trauma of his death alone could've sent anyone crazy, but then to experience everything else afterwards, including having to come to terms that Bruce not only did not kill his murder but also replaced him, leaving Jason to grieve what was once his and what he should've gotten, of course he'd be less than okay.

Again, I'm not the biggest Jason Todd fan but I do wish more people would see just how much good Jason has in his heart, how kind and gentle he can be once his walls are down, when he's no longer constantly analyzing your actions and wondering why would you bother talking to him, getting closer to him.

In my opinion, a man who is so gentle with children, who constantly gives second, third, and fourth chances to people who don't deserve it, who despite it all still wants to make a change and protect the city that failed him, couldn't possibly be anything but the most caring partner. Not just partner, no, also brother and friend.

We all know what he did to Tim and Damian, there are reasons, such as his mental instability at the time and rage, and though those are not excuses, I believe Jason would still drop everything to go save his family. He might complain, he might brood, but family is something important to him even when just looking at them hurts him. He lost his loving mother, stepmother, far too early and it's not hard to imagine that even with all the pain and grief inside his torn heart, the little boy inside Jason still craves the warmth of a family.

Just look at the way he treats his friends, at the way he helps them through situations no one else would, how caring and attentive he is. Jason is gentle, sure, he is rough and mean and he's got blood on his hands, but Jason is made of love.

Jason was made to be loved.

So I think, whether platonic or romantically, Jason would treat you so well. He'd scold you for not wearing warm clothes during winter, "We're in Gotham, you fucking moron, you wanna freeze to death?", all while wrapping you with his jacket or scarf. He'd make sure you're eating at least something every day, and if not, he would immediately put you under his arm, maybe over his shoulder, and take you to the nearest food chain he could find, "I don't want to hear you complaining about headaches when all you had today was a cup of coffee and gum.".

Lord, he'd be torn between freaking out and being extremely annoyed that you got hurt, be it at work, a fight, or just out of clumsiness. But no matter what, his hands would always be so, so gentle when touching you. The tip of his fingers brushing under the injury, as light as a breeze, his other hand holding the back of your neck, or your bicep, perhaps even your hand just to make sure you're there, with him.

Jason would both hush you gently, "I know, sweetheart, we're almost done.", and also tease because he's a little shit at heart, "If you had a little more awareness than a ten year old this wouldn't have happened, idiot."

And physical touches? Oh, love, Jason is a sucker for intimacy.

I know for a fact he wouldn't be comfortable for a long time with anyone in his personal space due to the torture he went through. The trauma would make his skin crawl any time someone got too close or brushed past him, he'd hate it so much because it makes him weak but also because he can't let anyone try to hug him without feeling sick to his stomach.

And with you it's no different. It would take a long time, a lot of trust being built up, conflict and confessions, maybe he'd even open up to you with his head on your lap as you brushed his hair softly, a big, big step for him after years of not letting anyone close. He'd tell you about the Joker, about having hope in Bruce, about his biological mother. And he'd feel vulnerable like a child when you wipe his tears gently without a word.

Once he starts craving your touch, though, regardless if you two have a platonic or romantic relationship, Jason is putty in your hands. Forehead kisses when you part ways, cuddling on the couch while he reads and you're on your phone, thighs touching when sitting close, even a little bit of hand holding when he's stressed and needs to play with your fingers.

He's like a big cat that's constantly making his way onto your chest, stealing your breath and making biscuits on your skin, making sure you're giving him sufficient pats every day.

It's a little part of him that he's barely able to properly allow space for. There's still so much hurt in Jason, so much confusion and desperation, hatred and upset, that he'd probably still close off sometimes, try acting tough so you'd see how fucked up he is, how he's not truly worth of your love.

And yet.

And yet all it'd take for him to go soft and pliant in your hands would be a single touch, cupping his cheeks, brushing his skin softly with your thumbs, right under his pretty emerald eyes, making sure his gaze is on you and only you. Just like that, he'd slump his shoulders and bring you into his arms, breathing a sigh of relief and squeezing you close, your heartbeats synching.

He wouldn't remember when he started feeling safest in your arms but it'd feel like it was since forever. Like there was no one else but you.

Jason was made to be loved, though he is a little broken and a little tainted, lost like a child and hateful like a sinner, your love might just be his salvation, something he's greedy for, selfish for, even when he's so hesitant of somehow hurting you.

[islandofsages]

Pomefiore boys with a friend (male reader), how is a hopeless romantic, where they help him (the reader) to win over his crush or comfort him when he is rejected.

characters: the pomefiore boys x male reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, comfort, imagines format

warnings: mentions of beating people up LMAO, some physical contact in epel's

author's notes: ngl i was kinda debating writing this bc i was like hmmmm crush but yknow what? it's not romance with the main cast so i'll let it slide plus im excited to get a request after so long sorry if this isnt as good! pretty rusty from not writing imagines in so long ahaha

Vil Schoenheit

You went to the right person - who else has better rizz charm than Vil Schoenheit himself?

Of course, his first word of advice would be to just be yourself but just in case “yourself” isn’t enough, Vil has extended two generous offers to you: he will personally tutor you on how to steal your crush’s heart and if somehow they still reject you, he’ll have a uh… nice little talk with them. Totally. He has a reputation to hold up you know

Jokes aside, he truly believes you can catch your crush’s attention. He may be a little tough on you at times but he’s only trying to push you in the right direction

“Remember. If they do not give you the time of day, then they are not worth any of your precious time.”

If you get rejected, he’ll admit he feels a bit guilty - mostly disappointed in the crush (unless they have a good reason to reject), but still

Of course you insist that he doesn’t have to be sorry but he takes it upon himself to make up to you somehow

Whatever you need to recover from the rejection, he’ll try his best to fulfill your wishes

He’ll make time in his busy schedule to go out and treat you to something to cheer you up

In all the love in the world, maybe your crush isn’t yours to keep. But at least Vil’s is.

Epel Felmier

He may not have much experience with confessions or being a wingman but he’ll try his best for you!

He might search up how to impress a crush online and have you genuinely try the ideas he found and let’s just say that some of them are… interesting alright

You know he means well so you just follow along. At least the embarrassing times make for good memories to look back on and laugh over

“Maybe this’ll work…? How are we gonna find these though…”

He also offers to beat your crush up if they reject you but you quickly shut him down.

He’s there somewhere, hiding in a nearby bush (or whatever is nearby), when you confess to your crush, face scrunches up as if watching an intense Spelldrive match

If you get rejected, he’ll be a shoulder to cry on. Literally - he’ll sit beside you and offer to let you rest your head on his shoulder if you want

He may end up not saying much but he can listen to you for as long as you need him to

The tears of rejection may be salty, but the memories you made with your friend could sweeten any taste.

Rook Hunt

He’s delighted that you trust him enough to go to him for support

You think that you’d like to be more charming like him, what with his way of speaking and how he carries himself

Tears prick the corner of his eyes already; you have to ask him if he’s alright

“To think you saw me in such a light… it would stir any soul.”

He would even offer to teach you the delicate art of poetry if you so desire to win your crush’s heart through prose

If you get rejected, he’ll empathize with you, wearing a frown that you almost feel worse about than your actual rejection

He’ll let you say whatever you need to say or let out whatever’s weighing on you

When you’re done, he tells you that even such heartbreaking events could bloom into a beautiful flower one day - that you need not be concerned and see it as a learning experience

You laugh; how could you forget? There are many types of people out there. Just like how there could only be one copy of your crush, there could only be one of Rook.

[arany-studio]

Are Kanej asexuals?

While we celebrate LGBTQIA+ Pride in the Grishaverse, let's discuss a matter that is not always well understood, but often spoken about in the fandom - are Kanej asexuals?

Trigger warning for talk of sexuality, trauma, PTSD and past sexual abuse.

According to asexuals.fandom.com, the asexuality spectrum is an umbrella term that applies to people who feel little to no sexual attraction and includes such micro labels as asexual, aroace, graysexual, demisexual, aegosexual, apothisexual, fraysexual, aceflux, cupiosexual, orchidsexual or caedosexual. A-spec is a term that can include all of the above.

A little known fact about asexuality is that it is different from libido (or sexual desire). Asexuality is a sexual orientation that relates to attraction, but asexuals can have either high or low libido, which is not directed at anyone in particular. Also, asexuals can have sex for many reasons that are not related to sexual attraction, such as to please their partners, to relax or for pleasure and they are no less asexuals, but it's also important to mention that the majority of people that identify as a-spec do not include sex in their lives.

Asexuality is a spectrum and the opposite of allosexuality, which refers to people who often experience sexual attraction.

An often unknown label under the asexual umbrella is caedosexual.  This includes people who once identified as allosexual, but later on identified on the asexual spectrum because of trauma. It was feared that inclusion of this flag under asexuality would further feed the prejudice that all asexuals are like this because of  trauma, but this has been disproven. Only caedosexuals are so because of trauma, not the other a-specs.

Now let's see what we know about Kanej. Both Kaz and Inej have gone through horrific experiences in their childhood and puberty respectively, and their resulting traumas are affecting how they engage with their sexualities in their teen years. Their desire to heal fluctuates. Sometimes Kaz thinks that Inej could never be truly his and Inej thinks that they might be better off with their armors intact and at other times Inej appreciates that they have tried to be close and wishes they could try again and Kaz fights his demons in order to hold her hand. Fact is, the caedosexuals I have spoken to have said that Kaz and Inej can choose to work towards separating their traumas from their sexualities in the future, or they can choose not to and they are valid either way. So what could be safely said is that Kanej are likely caedosexuals in SoC + CK timeline, although that could change in the future.

But the discussion of whether Kaz and Inej fall under the asexual spectrum is more complex than that and in the fandom you can often find fans arguing either that they provide much needed representation to asexuals or on the contrary, that they are very eager to heal and have an intimate relationship. But let's not forget that libido is different from attraction and there are many asexuals with high libido, so the question here is what type of attraction do Kaz and Inej experience?

The media that we consume is largely amatonormative, meaning that it assumes that all humans pursue love of a romantic and sexual nature, but a less known fact is that attraction can take many more forms than we were led to believe by such media. Attraction is sexual when a person wants to have sex with another, romantic when they desire to engage in romantic activities, aesthetic when they think someone is beautiful, sensual when they desire non-sexual physical closeness (such as nonromantic cuddles and kisses), platonic when they want to be friends with someone or queerplatonic (alterous) when someone desires a committed relationship with a partner that is in between platonic and romantic in nature. Other types of attraction are familial, emotional, intellectual or spiritual. 

For example, it is quite clear that Inej doesn't feel spiritual attraction towards Kaz's lack of faith in saints, but she does feel intellectual attraction towards his brilliant mind. And though Kaz might cover his feelings under "economic" attraction (joking), the question here is under what type of attraction do Kaz's and Inej's feelings for each other fall under. Fact is, if allosexuals view Kaz and Inej through their lense they can easily think that they feel sexual and romantic attraction for each other, but if asexuals view them from their lense instead, what Kanej feel might very well be queerplatonic, sensual or aesthetic attraction that for one or both of them isn't sexual or romantic in nature. For example some people view Kaz's interest in Imogen as a challenge and his desire to have an intimate connection with Inej as wanting to please her and they argue that Kaz has been "content" on his own for so long, plotting his revenge and Barrel dominion, that he might well be asexual or demisexual. Many other people view Inej's famous line "I'll have you without armor" to be related to trust solely, whereas others view it as being both about intimacy and trust. And let's not forget the many voices that appreciate Kanej for showing how people can love each other deeply even when they don't have sex. The truth is that we don't know for sure where Kanej fall on the spectrum of attraction, the text is beautifully vague in that regard, but the many varied interpretations about Kanej show that what meets the eye is not always a person's inner experience.

To sum up, the one thing that is almost certain about Kaz and Inej is that in book time, their traumas influence their experience of sexuality, likely setting them under the a-spec umbrella as caedosexuals. This may or may not change in the future, depending on their desire and capacity to heal, but Kanej are valid either way. As regards to how Kanej might identify were they to heal from their traumas, many interpretations about the way they feel attraction or lack of it are possible, setting them as either allosexual, demisexual or asexual. The beauty of book Kanej is that they are written in such a subtle way that they provide representation to a wide range of people and that's why we love them so much!

[chronicbeans]

OMGosh OMGosh OMGosh!!!!!!! That was so good! I didn’t expect that ending at all! But now I have so many more questions?!?!!!!

What is a day like in Welcome Home now? How does reader get through it? Do they legit worship her like a deity with offerings, bowing, etc.?

How is life outside of the TV? What happened to Henry and Angela? What happens to the Welcome Home puppeteers and other cast?!

Do they try to save the reader, or is all hope almost immediately lost?

Does Wally try to start a romantic relationship with the reader, or is it all platonic idol worship within the bounds of a romantic relationship?

Is Y/N technically a prop now? Is the Welcome Home cast still puppeted or do they have physical free-will now?

(Sorry for so many questions, but I’m dying to know!!!! AAAA I WANT MORE OF THIS FICCCCC!!!! 🥹😩😭🤯💕💕💕💕👌👍👏)

No worries! It is alright! I like writing about this dynamic. If I didn't, I wouldn't have offered to write more for it. So, having a lot of questions is perfectly welcome!

Life in Welcome Home for a Puppeteer Reader:

📽️ So, you're in Welcome Home now. What is going on in this lovely little place? Well, Wally is constantly going to be by your side, that's for sure. The neighbors will also be around whenever they can be.

📽️ The way the neighbors "worship" you is a bit odd compared to how you thought they would. Wally, of course, has deemed himself "The Chosen One" or some other odd name of the day (he can't decide. He just knows he's special, though), because he was the only one who was able to go to your world. Well, that was until he found a way to take others with him... But he did that himself. It wasn't natural. So, they all listen to both you and Wally.

📽️ Wally says they should just go about their days and always be kind to you. The only real offerings they give you is food, because they can't eat, but you need to. Before you arrived, food was more like an art piece to be put of a shelf until it went bad. Now, though, the neighbors will flock to Poppy's or Howdy's to get food, just for you! They want to be in your good graces.

📽️ Their kindness also borders on creepy. They all just go wide-eyed, their pupils expanding a bit like Wally's, as they give you praise for whatever you do in their presence. Sometimes, you swear that you could kill one of them and the others would just say something like "Yay! Yippee! You did good! They deserved it! How smart you are for noticing that! It was so obvious! How didn't we notice? Oh! It's because we aren't as amazing as you!"

📽️ Wally is probably very conflicted with himself. His plan, ever since the others had started to think about the possibility of you existing, was to take you here and to be your most devoted follower. He's got that, so why doesn't he feel fulfilled? Why does he also dislike how his neighbors get so close to you when you go outside? He will probably have to talk to Home about it. Home has always been there for him, even when the others were avoiding him due to their lack of faith in your existence. Home will help! If or when he realizes that he might not love you as just his puppeteer, but also in a romantic way, he'll think that it is the sweetest thing ever! His praise will definitely take a slightly more romantic turn, but the main problem is that his way of worshipping once you were brought to the neighborhood was already a bit more romantic. So, you probably won't notice it unless he tells you straight up how he feels.

📽️ Speaking of Home, you live with Wally, now. It just makes sense in everybody's eyes! Wally brought you here and is your most devoted follower. There is also the fact that, if anybody tried to hurt you, Home can keep them out (and keep you locked in)! You just stay inside all day, whenever it isn't "showtime". Wally is always by your side, though, keeping you company! Hugs and cuddles will make you feel better, right? He's noticed how upset you have been and is sure that he is the only one that can help! He'll show you the room he has dedicated entirely to you, which is filled wall to wall to floor to ceiling with drawings, paintings, and poems all about you! He is confused about why you seem so scared by this room.

📽️ You don't necessarily have to puppeteer everyone. You aren't really able to, either. In the neighborhood, the places where you would put your hands and puppeteer them don't exist. They are kind of like humans, just made of felt and filled with fluff. Everyone does have free will. They just act like they don't and don't believe they do. They do whatever you tell them without question. Sometimes, though, Wally likes to sit on your lap and pretend that you are puppeteering him in the "old-fashioned" way, as he says. He just has you place your hand on his back or neck and grab one of his arms to move around. Sometimes the others watch and are amazed, as if you are actually controlling him. If I had to explain how it would look like for anyone watching, just imagine the human cast in Sesame Street. You are a human in a world of puppets.

🎥 The world outside of the show is chaotic, to say the least (at least for the people that knew you). Henry probably watches the show everyday just to see you. He quickly learned that, although he can hear and see you, you can only see him. So he's been having Angela write down what he wants to say, then he presses is against the screen to talk to you. Angela, although she hasn't gotten over her fear of puppets, has been watching Welcome Home, too. She needs to see you. She really misses you. They would help, but they don't know how.

🎥 Back at the studio, they all quickly realized something was horribly wrong. They have a television in the break room that they use to make sure there isn't any broadcasting errors. The first person that saw you on the screen and realized you weren't around the studio immediately went and got as many people as they could. This included Wally's voice actor and the boss.

🎥 Your boss' decision was very simple. SHUT IT ALL DOWN AND CANCEL EVERYTHING. Everyone, especially Wally's voice actor, was heavily against it. What would happen to you? You would just be... stuck there! They had no say, though, and the show was promptly shut down. A few more reruns were aired. During one of them, Wally's voice actor had showed up on the other side of the screen, and let you know that the show was cancelled.

🎥 The world of Welcome Home is odd after the last rerun. Everything seems darker and everyone seems a bit paranoid. Wally especially is afraid. Before, they all had two purposes: keep you happy and make a good show for your world. Now that one purpose is gone, they have decided to double-down on keeping you happy. It is so hard, though, now that you can't see your world again. Most of the time, everyone is just crowded inside of Home, sitting around you and trying to cheer you up. The scariest part of these moments is how the world is so dark, you need candles to see. So, everyone is lit up with an eerie, flickering glow.

[cancerstanople]

As someone who used to identify as aromantic, I used to (and still do) struggle to differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction, here's my best explanation.

It's very similar to platonic attraction. You want to spend a lot of time with a person, you want to get to know them, you want to express affection for them.

The difference is in the intensity of it. With romantic attraction, you want to know their deepest secrets and show your affection for them RIGHT NOW. The feelings of love and attachment to this person are overwhelming and powerful clouders of judgement, especially at the onset of a crush or the start of a new relationship.

For the asexuals, this is why romantic and sexual attraction are perceived to be the same thing for most people, because sex is often thought of as the highest form of intimacy; it's a very intense, vulnerable, and physically close form of physical affection. But regardless of whether sex is a factor, the basis of romance is the desire to connect with someone as intimately and as quickly as possible.

Another difference is the duration of it. Feelings of friendship are generally very consistent, and can last long periods of time with less maintenance on the relationship itself. However, feelings of romantic attraction, while strong, are more short-lived. After the "honeymoon stage" of a relationship is over, the powerful, intoxicating feelings start to dissipate, and the lovers face a choice:

break up because the loss of the feeling means you're not motivated to keep the relationship going anymore

stay together and resign themselves to a more comfortable, platonic dynamic (I say "resign" not to mean that it's lesser than a passionate romance, just not as dramatic)

keep rekindling the fire, keep finding new ways to express affection or new things to discover about each other

When I explained it to myself in this way, it helped me understand why there are so many seemingly nonsensical rituals and customs surrounding dating and relationships: it's an attempt to regulate it. Romantic attraction is a very volatile feeling; it's strong, it blocks off your rationality, and it doesn't last a long time with the same person if you don't know how to keep it up. This means it has the potential to cause a lot of strife and maybe cause physical pain if there are no rules of engagement (engagement lol, pun not intended). So we have practices of dates, and marriage, and social mores about how to interact with each other in order to pace ourselves.

This is how I interpret it, at least. Other allos, feel free to add your own perspectives or shit on mine if yours is completely different. I'm still young, so my view on it is probably immature, but I think it's a good basis for future conversation, at least.

For the aros reading this, I hope it was helpful!

[inchidentally]

does oscar only look at lando/lily like that? or does he generally look at someone else with heart eyes all the time?

[usual caveat (not aimed at you anon) that we do NOT take rpf outside fandom spaces and we do NOT take rpf discussion to the people involved and we double do NOT go delu about real life partners/girlfriends]

in all seriousness... it's just Lily and Lando he's like that with. like, there's an element of how Oscar is about Lando that I'd actually feel a bit wary shipping them the way I do for fun if it weren't for Lily. whatever it is - finding Lando adorable, being charmed by him, fanboying with a side helping of Lando being attractive, flat out having some sort of crush - as someone who intensively gifs and edits him, Oscar rly only has those unbroken staring "hearteyes" for Lando and Lily. obv he doesn't have the same relationship with each alsfglajfgjla it's that there are crossover similar emotions related to how he responds to ppl who make him feel happy/warm/fond/attentive.

as someone who can see rpf in anything, I also have a big firm line between fantasy and reality - and the majority of m/m rpf ships (like 99.9% of them) are just us fans projecting onto extremely normal male friendship behavior (clothes sharing, sharing a room/bed, physical affection are no more sexual for male friends than they are for us with our own platonic friends) and it's very easy to take someone looking at another person fondly and pretend it's romantic/sexual when it clearly is not. especially when you set it side by side with them looking at a real life romantic partner.*

but in a way that clearly doesn't imply anything about his sexual orientation or interact at all with how he loves Lily, Oscar sees Lando as something special and dear in a way that's purely involuntary. he isn't "acting gay" for PR or laughs and he's even visibly more restrained and quiet around Lando than he is around other guys. Logan is probably the person closest to it in terms of fondness and caring but even there it was very much brotherly/protective like how Carlos and Daniel look at Lando. the tenderness with those guys lies in them being brothers by bond and not blood.

fortunately it's not something that's a problem and is clearly under his control and he would absolutely not want it brought up by fans or admit to it/discuss it himself. it's fine to joke about rpf to the guys who are deliberately playing at gay stuff for the sake of fans (guys who play gay chicken or do gay jokes and use ship names together do so precisely bc they feel safe and assuredly not sexual with the other guy. all formerly closeted male athletes share a common past of avoiding the hell out of gay jokes for fear of discovery or suspicion.) but Oscar has never done any of that with Lando. I genuinely felt uncomfortable at that video where they made him look at a landoscar tweet and it was such a relief when he played it off onto carland0.

I think we've all had a friend who we saw as especially magnetic or magical who we felt that little thump of the heart over, but we don't quite know what to call it bc we're very happy to remain their friend. I use the term 'crush' about Oscar with Lando bc it's the closest thing I can think of without overstepping into weird territory. you can have a crush on someone in so many different ways that can be innocent and uncomplicated and tbh just fun and exciting! Oscar's very happy with Lily as his girlfriend and Lando as the guy he's fanboyed over for years and gets to watch like a kitten in a classroom almost every week of the year!

but as an obsessively paranoid aside, I would never ever want to see landoscar rpf presented to Oscar in any way - whereas I wouldn't care at all when it comes to charl0s, dand0, max!el, carland0 etc. those guys are in on the joke with fans and see it as a fun meme type thing alongside being bros. we don't have any kind of confirmation of that with Oscar and Lando so we need to respect it and keep the rpf here in spaces they can't stumble across.

*caveat for the fact that Lando is a gigantic flirt and wants all men to either be in love with him or want to protect him. he'll take romantic sexual or platonic he rly does not care so long as said man treats him special. he has an intriguing and unique response to Oscar based on Oscar's reaction to him and also Oscar being more like his brand of non-F1 grid friend which is extra confusing bc it makes him want to relax and be more himself with Oscar, but Oscar is also his direct competitor. it's A Lot, his feelings about Oscar!

*second caveat here for guys like Charles who occupy a sexual third space for genuinely heterosexual men where they feel attraction to him as a wife or girlfriend and have absolutely no idea why. this is an aberration related to a man's rare type of prettiness and personality rather than evidence toward someone's sexuality.

[halsinningiswinning]

Have you got a favourite BG3 headcanon to share? :D

I actually have quite a few, but I couldn't pick a single bloody one. So instead you get a delirious pain fuelled rambling about a few HC's I have~ Some, mind you, are gonna be sexual.

Thank you SM💞 This was a lot of fun!

1 ) Lae'zel is the most likely to earn her Red Wings. Sorry Astarion, but she's built different. His complicated relationship with sex would delay him having that chat I think, but maybe he can take the second place.

Lae'zel on the other hand always seems into her lover, and as a Githyanki would not have the same cultural understanding of menstruation. Why would it gross her out? She's seen her lovers blood before, on rare occasion spilled it herself. Finding out that they just bleed, casually, on a fairly regular basis as a part of their fertility cycles would both amaze and disturb her. We know her opinion on pregnancy and birth, so she'd find the reasoning behind menstruation to be pitiable, but the physical reality of it would be no less fascinating to her. Pour one out for any lover she has who isn't as comfortable with it as she is, because she fully will not understand their discomfort.

2 ) Gale isn't very good at sharing a kitchen. He's all too happy to cook for those he loves, be it romantic or platonic. In many ways it's an act of love and devotion, and it never feels like a chore to him even when he doesn't get much thanks.

He's less happy to have people cook for him, but he's mature enough to step aside. It'd be selfish of him to deny others the pleasure he sees in cooking, so as long as it's not too often he can accept it. Tho, in his youth I do imagine he was a picky eater, and his preference for cooking started there. Boy genuinely felt he was the best cook since he liked his food the best. Genius that one is.

His grace collapses when he's forced to share a space while cooking. Unless you remain out of arms length from him at all times he will make an annoyed little huff every time he sees you. It's not personal, you're just throwing off his groove. If frustrated enough he will simply grab your shoulders and move you out of his way. His ideal form of cooking together is him doing all the cooking, and you simply sitting in the corner talking to him, occasionally trying whatever he presents. It's a good thing.

3 ) Wyll actually has an unhinged story for just about every part of Baldur's Gate. I firmly believe we only got to hear a sliver of his stories in the game. I'm sure he knows not everyone wants to hear every detail, so he only shares what he thinks are the good bits. However, all you need to do to find out more is to ask him if he's been to that location before.

Oh to wander around the city with him on a lazy afternoon.

That fence? He was 12 when he climbed it, fell from near the top. His father was nearly beside himself, but a bush broke young Wyll's fall so he suffered no real injury. Just to his pride.

That tower outcropping? At only 8 years old young Wyll had wandered off, amazed at the view. Curled up in a little window hole, he fully missed the Fist hunting for him. Poor Ulder thought he'd been snatched away. Florrick found him asleep on the ledge, hours after he wandered off.

Keep him talking and you'll get nothing done. Wyll would thrive as a bard.

4 ) I think Halsin has large ebbs and flows in his libido. He's very sex positive, but I don't think that means he's hypersexual. He's had phases of his life where he certainly was, both before and after his drow capture, but it's not his baseline.

On the other hand he's had just as many phases of hyposexuality, sometimes lasting decades at a time. While I've used clinical language, he would not. To him his libido is simply obeying its own natural cycles, even though his highs and lows are more extreme than the average person may experience.