#love exists and love is all around us if you choose to believe it <3< /div>
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arthursfuckinghat · 3 months ago
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Take!!! A gamble!!!! That love exists!!!! And do!!!! A loving!!!!!! Act!!!!!!!!
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madamechrissy · 2 months ago
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Silent Serenades
♔ An arranged Marriage with Duke Gojo ♔
♔ Pairings: Satoru Gojo x Duchess Reader
♔ Content/Warnings: Heavy, heavy fucking angst, jealousy, cunnilingus, fingering, blow jobs, rough sex, dirty talk, name calling (slut/bitch etc) toxic attraction, Gojo is toxic, reader is toxic. OOC. TOXIC britney spears level lol. Split POV-
♔ Word count: this chap: 12k
♔ Summary: you are the diamond of the season, he is the charming Duke, it’s the marriage of the decade. Prominent families joining, and it so happens that Duke Gojo is gorgeous. But, he doesn't want you, and now you're trapped in a loveless arranged marriage. Royal AU, dark bridgerton vibes, Cruel Gojo x reader. OOC Set in 1800s England. Slow burn, enemies to lovers. Gojo is awful at first, HEAVY angst Basically- Gojo is a royal dick and doesn't wanna marry you - Don't read this if you want a nice Gojo lol.
Comments and Reblogs appreciated <3
Part Eight - Masterlist - Playlist
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Part Nine- Let it all Burn
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Your POV
“You’re so foolish to trust him, we can do this without the Duke’s cooperation.” Nanami says, cupping your face tightly, and you sigh, shutting your eyes.
“I believe him-”
“How can you! Have you forgotten all the things he’s done to you?” Nanami demands, his voice so much harsher than you’ve heard it, making you back away a step, taking a breath.
“No, I have not, that’s why I’m leaving him, Ken. I don’t expect you to wait around all month, I already know that would be stupid and selfish. You do not have to stay with me-”
“I did not say I would leave you.” He whispers, but you see his brows draw together, you see the pain on his face, and you hate yourself more and more with every breath you take.
“Do not close yourself off, even after this annulment if I am to be alone, I will be fine, I will surely miss you sweet Kento, but I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy with you in my arms.”
“You’re miserable with me, you just won’t admit it, it drives you crazy and it hurts you. And that hurts me.” Your voice is hoarse now, as he shakes his head, denying his own truth. “You are hurting, be honest.”
“Because you’re trusting him, because I will not see you for a month? How can I be happy with that, when I want you to be mine, not his.” Kento’s voice grows more intense, as he’s looking down at you, taking your chin in his hands and running a thumb down your lip. “No I don’t want to share you, but at least I know you’re here, but now you’ll be with him only.”
He’s overwhelming you so much you feel your chest tighten, trying to focus on the right thing to say. “Things are moving so fast with us, I worry you’re not thinking rationally. You do not even know me that well to marry me so suddenly, I fear it’s your kindness, it’s your caring, your heart. Wanting to save me, care for me.”
He laughs then, but it’s a dark laugh, as he runs his hands down your body, pressing his fingers into your waist, against your ribcage. “No I do not think rationally with you, I’ve thought rationally my entire existence in my work, in my life, but with you I lose that completely, when I’m kissing you, when I’m inside you.” He’s pressing his body on yours, bending low as he murmurs. “There’s no rationale to how good you feel.”
You’re flushed, and overwhelmed, as you realize Kento has fallen so deeply, and you’re not sure you’re in that same way. You have love for Kento, you clearly have attraction, and it’s so easy to just be with him. You are happy, you enjoy him, but it’s not an all consuming need, and you don’t know what love truly is yet. You have never been taught such things.
Your mother told you nothing of sex, of marriage, and you had not even laid with your own husband, choosing Kento, and now your rash moment seems to just be hurting everyone. And why was Duke Gojo constantly on your mind, was it some trauma response as Kento theorizes, or is it so much more?
Is it the fact that his kisses destroy you?
Is it the fact that every day you feel worse for continuing with Nanami this way, but you do not know how to express it? And what future is there for you with him, surely your parents would disown you, society would disown you. And you do not mind such things for love, but you are unsure of everything, you wish so badly you could put proper thoughts together.
But how can you when you have Gojo acting…
Fuck, nice?
Was it some act, was it some game? And in the end, you need Gojo to end the marriage, you truly would have a horrible time without him, that’s where Nanami was a little wrong. You thought you were so sure of everything, but Nanami’s possessiveness and how deeply he feels brings a sinking feeling to your tummy, for fear of disappointing him, hurting him again.
It’s what you do, you hurt people, hurt them like you’re hurting, trying to find comfort in Nanami.
“I am not sure if I can return your love confession, that’s not fair to you-”
“You’re young, inexperienced, and this is new. I’m a very serious man, and I know what I want… and I take it.” He says softly, you sigh, biting your lower lip. “And I want you, I want to take care of you.”
“You do not owe me so much kindness.” You stroke his cheek with your gloved hand gently, and watch his lips set in a terse line.
“You have given me your body, your innocence, do you think these things mean nothing to me, like your… Duke thinks of them?” You blink a bit, hating the pain in his voice, but understanding it.
“I know they mean something, it was why I chose you to be my first.”
Kento sighs, pulling you against his hard body then, hazel eyes narrowing, thin nostrils flaring, you can tell he’s furious at the thought. “Please, don’t trust him, don’t leave me for a month to fall victim to such manipulation.”
“I don’t want to leave you! But I do want to help the villagers, and Satoru can help me with my parents even, that’s something we really need. You’re acting as if I will not face so many challenges-”
“Satoru, you call him Satoru?” He demands then, ignoring what you’re saying, and you sigh, shutting your tired eyes, feeling pulled every which way until you may break.
“Not to his face, never, I suppose I’m just sleepy.”
“Sleepy, why, were you just up all night with him?” It’s your turn to glare at him now, and Nanami rubs his eyes, exhaling and lowering his head. “Fuck, I’m sorry darling, I-”
“You said you forgave me, but you keep accusing me of doing more. I clearly broke your trust, and I don’t think that I can repair that.”
“No, no. I’m sorry.” His voice breaks, as he’s holding your hands and kissing them, sighing.
“I’ve given you every opportunity to run from me, to go be happy, you’re so handsome, so sweet, there is no way you wouldn’t find a lovely woman, with much less baggage. Please do not make me feel even worse than I do, I promise I hate myself enough.” You choke on the words.
Kento looks at you, stepping closer, brushing his hand down your cheek. “I do not regret meeting you, or doing this, but it’s killing me enough already. Now I must think of him near you and I don’t even get to see your pretty face?” His husky voice breaks your heart into pieces.
“Kento…” You’re crying now, and he’s swiping your tears, leaning down to kiss you, and you press your lips back, but when he has his hands gripping your hips, and then he eagerly starts to unlace your bodice, his tongue swiping in your mouth, you pause him, pushing him gently away. “We cannot, I gave him my word.”
His brows lower. “Your word? What about your word to me?” He says, and you lace up your bodice, blushing furiously.
“My word was to be honest, and I have been, I have told you what I did, and you are clearly still hurt. Perhaps-”
“Yes I’m hurt. But I still need you, it’s beyond wanting, I crave you, I’m falling so deeply, and now I’m terrified to lose you, because your Duke will manipulate you.”
“Ken…”
“You’re too innocent, you do not know what he could do.”
“I’m not so innocent anymore. I know you care… but I have an obligation here, and I think I owe it to try, if he is going to. It’s to end our marriage, and have all my dowry, which could go to my children some day. It’s a win win.”
“Not for me.” He says, and you feel your tummy lurch, as his words devastate you so much.
“No… not for you. Kento, here…” You’re taking off your necklace with shaky hands, as tears are burning your eyes, and Kento glares.
He stops your hands. “Do not take it off, it’s yours.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“You do, I just… I’m just upset. I hate him for what he did to you, and you’re so kind you’ll forgive him.” You lean back against the wall now, bones aching and exhausted, as you see the hurt you’ve caused by being so selfish, by wanting to be so happy with Kento, at his expense, falling deeper in self loathing.
“Perhaps you will find someone more worthy-”
“I want you.” He says again, softer, tilting up your chin. “I’ve wanted you since that night, when you ran off and disappeared. I won’t stop wanting you.”
“Kento…” He’s leaned down and kissing you again, tasting your salty tears, and he’s gripping you so tightly, holding you against him, but the kiss makes you sadder and sadder, his arms like a trap you wish to escape, and you hate yourself for feeling that way about him. “I am sorry that I hurt you, I never, ever wanted to.”
“I cannot bear it if you do this.” You’re a sobbing mess now, as his words hurt your heart, like he’s piercing a blade right between your breasts. “Kiss me, please, let me feel your perfect lips.”
You press yours against his again, as he holds you close, in his warm, cozy apartments, and you wonder if this is the last time you’ll see him. You wonder if he’ll find someone so beautiful and sweet and open like he deserves, and by the end of the month, you’d be all alone, on your own. No cruel… confusing… Duke Gojo, no sweet, perfect Nanami.
Perhaps just you and your thoughts.
Maybe that was for the best, so you would not hurt him anymore, and you could wallow in your own self doubts, free of Duke Gojo. You did want to be free of him, even if perhaps you all could get along somewhat at the end of this, Gojo could never love you, fuck he hates you, and you reciprocate it. Hate and toxic attraction was not love and could never be.
Nanami is kissing down your throat to your breasts, where they’re rising and falling with every breath, tongue hot and wet against your skin, his other hand slipping your skirts up. “Will you not even let me pleasure you?”
“I promised. I’m sorry but I cannot have him keep his half of the bargain if I am not going to.” You say softly, as his hands pause, and his hazel eyes are narrowed.
“Why keep your word of not sleeping with me, when did he care for your feelings?” Nanami whispers then, and you frown.
“He has been with no one for over a week. I do believe he’s serious about this, about righting wrongs.” 
“It’s as if you’re giving him more care than me.” He whispers, and you can’t take it then, as you feel the pain setting in, the self loathing. “You had no problem letting him lick you, despite my feelings, yet you cut yourself off of me now for him. What am I to think?”
“Kento, I think perhaps we should… cool down on this.”
He glares now, jaw setting. “Cool down?”
“Yes it’s too much, too soon. It’s all so foolish! How can we have this happy life you wish when you don’t truly know me? When you cannot trust anything I say.” Your voice is breaking, and you see the hurt written on his face.
“There’s time to get to know these things, for now I just know I’m hopelessly in love with you. All of you.”
“You’ll be disappointed the more you learn.” Nanami’s normally warm and cozy apartments feel like they’re closing in, like they’re so tiny. “You’re a perfect man, Nanami Kento, I fear I am far from perfection.”
“You’re perfect to me. You taste and look like perfection, don’t you know?” He’s touching you again, until he’s on his knees, pulling you against him, looking up at you, and your heart breaks. “Do not leave so soon.”
“Kento, get up don’t…” You’re pulling him up gently, and he has tears in his eyes now.
“I’m asking you not to do this. Will you please not go?” He whispers, cupping your face, and you wish you could give him the answer he needs, but you know you need to do this. Everything is screaming it, even if you wish it would scream for you to stay with sweet Nanami.
“I must do this. I’m so sorry.” You say softly, and he chokes on a cry, just as you do, hating yourself so much you can’t stand it.
Why did you run to him?
Why did you put so much on him!?
And now you hurt him more.
But this is the right decision, your gut, heart, and soul is telling you, to try to help the Duke’s villages, to try to at least become cordial with him by the end of this. But hurting Nanami in the process was never your intention, clearly he would be far better off without you, and you don’t even know if you can keep on, with how far his feelings have gotten so quickly.
You ache to return them fully, you ache to love Nanami, fuck you do adore him, but this all consuming need he has, how he burns for you, you do not. Every time you try to tell him, he gives you an excuse, a reason, and does not let you finish your words, the ones constantly stuck in your throat.
“You’re making a stupid, foolish decision. Truly you are. I don’t know how much I can save you from yourself, Duchess.” He says then, and your eyes shut, your gloves are sticky with your tears as you wipe them off your cheeks. “You’re young and naive, you have no clue what you’re doing.”
“I may be young and naive, but I know I need to do this.”
“So then you’ll choose him?”
“I’m not choosing anyone, Kento did you not hear!? It’s to help me annul the marriage! To mitigate the insane consequences-”
“And spending that time with him, you’ll have no annulment, surely you’ll end up right in his bed.” You gasp now, and he curses, shaking his head.
“You’ve accused me of being a whore a few times now, granted you may be right, but you should have said so that day I told you. Rather than us…”
“Do you regret it?” He asks softly, and you shut your eyes, struggling as you feel nausea rolling in waves in your tummy.
Do you regret it?
Should you have left him that day, instead of letting this go further, letting his feelings get deeper?
“I do not regret the action, or choosing you, but I do regret not knowing how deep your feelings were, and hurting you by not sharing them fully back. I regret ever, ever hurting you. I regret ever talking to you that day-”
“Don’t say that!”
“Why, it’s how you got involved. I’d rather have wallowed in my self pity, perhaps just-”
“I don’t regret it, anything about you. How could I, when you’re the best I have ever had? The most beautiful?” You’re so drained, now, you cannot focus on his words, it’s as if there’s a throbbing in your entire body, as your throat gets tighter and tighter, and you’re rubbing it now.
“I should not have slept in your bed. Not while I was with him.”
Nanami scoffs at that. “He’s slept with half of London, you blame yourself!?”
“Yes, because now I’m no better. Nanami… here.” You’re taking off his necklace again, and he’s shaking his head, handing it back.
“Stop that, please. I’m still in-”
“We will talk later on, with cooler heads. For now, you keep this, for someone far better might require it.” You choke up as you speak, as you hand him the necklace gently, and he curses, pulling you to him, kissing you again. Something feels so desperate about it, like how Satoru kisses you.
Satoru, always on your fucking mind.
It’s not right to have him on your mind with Nanami, you’re not giving him your everything, and he’s giving you his absolute heart and soul. “Don’t do it. I cannot wait for you.”
“I do not want you to wait. I understand.”
“So you’ll break me?” He whispers, and you look away, eyes burning from your tears. “Break my heart, walking out this door, when you know you should be with me, you know how I’ll give you everything.”
“I don’t deserve your everything.” You break away then, and he’s behind you, pressing you against the door, hugging you tightly, burying his face against your neck. “Nanami, please let me go, please forget me.”
“How can I forget you, when my every waking moment is spent thinking of you, wishing you were in my arms, in my home? Knowing you’re with him, knowing he’s horrible to you. Knowing you’re not apt enough to… you don’t know enough to handle him.”
You blink a bit then, tensing in his hold. “Are you saying I’m not smart enough?”
“No just not… just stay, please? Or you will end me here completely.”
“I don’t want to end you! I never wanted to do this to you. You will not understand my decision, you may hate me for it, that’s fine. It’s what I’m owed for hurting such a beautiful person. A beautiful soul. So Ken, if I never see you again, if you find someone so much better, just know I will always care for you, and always be thankful. But this is best for you. You know it is.”
“You’re so foolish, Duchess.” He says with a sigh, finally backing up, allowing you a moment to breathe then, and you laugh without humor.
“Perhaps I am. I appreciate everything you have done, and respect any decision you make. Should I run into you again, I hope to see you smile.” He brushes a tear from your cheek then, turning your face towards him, pressing a kiss on each cheek.
“I see. Then I only hope you do not end up burned by your decision. I can no longer save you from it.” He says then, and the finality of it along with his tears devastated you.
You’re ruining something so good, but you must let him go.
Perhaps forever? You do not know.
Just yesterday you’d bought into the dream, of being happy, but you can’t take away Nanami’s happiness in the process. Surely he hurts now, but letting him go will allow him to find a true love, a woman that worships him just like he does, one that will love him so very much, as he deserves. Nanami Kento deserves everything.
“I wish you every happiness in this world. I hope I will become a distant thought soon.”
“You know it’s not possible to forget you. Good bye, Duchess.”
“Farewell, Nanami Kento.” You say then, and he opens the door, allowing you out, and you greedily suck in air as you do, on a foggy London morning. You feel your collarbone, the bare neck now, how quickly everything has changed.
You’re riding in the carriage later, replaying the conversation in your head. Nanami's words were not kind, but they were accurate. You are young, naive and foolish, and now you’ve likely lost him forever. All because you think that you should let him be happy, but he cannot see that now.
You want Nanami’s happiness, but you do not deserve it.
You did not deserve Gojo’s cruelty either.
But something about helping him, or understanding him…
You sigh as you shut your eyes, heading towards a man who ‘hates’ you, leaving a man that’s falling in ‘love’ with you.
Are you making a horrible decision?
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Satoru’s POV
You walk inside the manor now, your cheeks puffy from crying, and your neck… it’s bare. The little gold necklace is completely gone, as you step inside, quietly walking up to where he is sitting at the dining room table, and he stands then, nervously assessing your face. He aches to touch you, but he’s so afraid, is he going to scare you, is he going to irritate you?
He used to care naught for such things, but now he longs to hold you in his arms, but what comfort would you find there? When he is the source of your pain, including what must have happened when you told your lover of his plan. Of course Satoru wants a chance before you’re gone forever, he does not deserve that chance, no, but he aches in his heart and soul for one.
“Is everything… Did something happen?” He asks, and you sit next to him then, not across like usual, surprising him.
“You’re asking me if I’m okay? Are you ill or something?” He snorts then, rolling his blue eyes, pouring you the nasty coffee you enjoy and handing you a cup. “And you’re giving me coffee? Are you seriously ill?”
“Can I try to fucking be nice?”
“Can you?”
“Insolent girl.” He sighs then, sipping his tea and watching you, your hands are shaking as you try to hold the cup, gloves soaked with what he presumes are tears. “Allow me?”
You pause then, your beautiful face looking up at him, lips parted, as he gently tugs on your gloves, revealing your delicate little hands. You say nothing as he holds them for a moment, as he sees that ring on your finger, he’s unsure why you wear it, when your marriage has been nothing for you. Five pretty little pearls on a gold band adorning your finger.
He wants to kiss your hand, how stupid, how foolish he is. What effects do you have on his psyche, on his heart, as he inhales your sweet scent, the scent that makes him ache with longing. You’re just letting him hold your hand then, as he watches emotions form once more in your glistening eyes.
“Thank you.” You say softly, taking the cup with a shaky breath.
“Why do you drink such a nasty beverage?” He asks then, and you blink just a bit, looking up at him.
“Do you actually wish to know?”
“That's why I asked.”
You sigh, setting the cup down, spinning the little rose gold spoon inside of it, before looking back at you. “I have asthma.”
Satoru is surprised then, eyes widening just a bit. “Asthma? Your parents never…”
“Yes, they did not want their daughter to be ‘not good stock’ as they said. What if I pass it to the baby and this and that. As if it’s so horrible, as if I’m less than for not being able to breathe.” Satoru remembers then.
‘Just breathe’
And the look on your face, incredulous, as you’d been clinging to your throat, then the pieces fall together, you’re always rubbing it, you have coughing fits he notices at night, always sipping coffee. And he, like a goddamn fool, has upset you over and over, probably making it worse.
“More reasons not to desire me I suppose.” You mumble, sipping your drink once more, and Satoru scoffs.
“What of it, you seem to have it under control, it’s not a flaw, it’s just… well, just who you are.”
You look at him in shock now, lips parted, and then you close them, clearing your throat, your lashes lowering over your eyes, casting shadows on your pretty face. “I appreciate that.”
“It’s nothing. So, what happened with your lover?”
You sigh, looking away, shutting your eyes, your breath catching just a bit, chest rising and falling. “I hurt him.”
“Hurt him?”
“Yes, by agreeing to this, but also… I had to let him go.” Satoru’s heart pounds then, for just yesterday he was so sure there was nothing he could ever do to have a chance. Not that he has one now, but some form of small hope blossoms in his chest, something he has never truly felt aside from that night in the carriage.
“You ended things?” He asks carefully, trying not to show how much hope was in his voice.
“It was necessary, I hurt him by my decisions. He has no trust in me. I’ve only served to disappoint.”
“Disappoint? He got so much of you, how did you disappoint?”
“I shouldn’t have even done it. It was rash and foolish. Now he’s completely heart broken, and all by my hand. I did not deserve him.” You cover your face now, your little sobs wrenching his heart. “I deserve nothing but misery.”
“What? Stop that. I…” Satoru’s tentatively reaching out for your back now, and you tense when he does, as he rubs your back up and down gently. “Is this… would you like me to stop?”
“No, do not stop.” You exhale, shaky as he pulls your chair closer, still rubbing your back. “Are you comforting me?”
“I’m sure I’m quite shit at it.” You giggle then, even through your tears, snorting with laughter as he pats your back now. “I’m so shit at it you laughed though.”
“Indeed, I did. Gojo, I would love to believe this, believe you can be kind, but I don’t know if I can. And I let such a good thing go, trusting you to keep our agreement, will you?”
“I will, if you want to end things, end things, however I can with our families. I will not make you stay.” Fuck he wishes he could, but he cares enough to stop keeping you in misery. You put a tentative hand on his thigh then, your touch burns through his trousers, it kills him how good it feels, but he stays still, watching you.
“I am trusting you, foolish as it may be.”
“I’m sorry you are… well, hurt. I can’t say I’m sorry he’s not fucking you.” You roll your eyes then, shaking your head.
“At least you’re honest.”
“I thought you loved sex so much?”
You worry your lower lip with your teeth now. “I suppose I embellished to hurt you more. I don’t know if I’m any better than you at this point.”
Satoru hates that he’s relieved. “You’re much better than I am.” He says quietly, as you fiddle with some stitching on his pants, his family crest, your fingers running around it, and fuck if it doesn’t make him hard, just that touch. God everything about you turns him on, just last night after leaving your room he’d had to make himself cum thinking about you.
What he’d said.
How you’d reacted.
“I told you about my asthma, tell me something. If we are to know each other somewhat.”
Satoru freezes then. “I will tell you something important if you can help me today. For now, I have something simple to share. I love horses.”
You smile then, so brightly, it stops his heart. “I also love horses. Do you enjoy riding them?”
“I do, it’s very calming, and freeing. There will be some for sale we may look upon while we’re there if you wish for one.”
“Oh, but I won’t even be here… long enough for…”
Stop those words, they kill him.
He already knows you’re almost gone.
“Well, you can take it with you if you choose, a gift from me. I notice your gift from your lover is…”
“Yes, I gave it back. He should bestow it upon someone worthy. This does not mean suddenly I’m yours, of course.”
“I know that.” He says softly. You nod a bit, standing and straightening your skirts, tilting your head a bit to look at him for a moment.
“I will freshen up and we can head to town?”
“Perfect, thank you.”
You smile again, so sweet and just a hint of one, but the way it makes you even more beautiful kills him. You head up the winding staircase then, and Satoru tries to control his breathing, tries to focus. He wants to make today and the rest of his time good for you, it’s the bare minimum he could do before you disappear, leaving a void he never knew was there.
He would need to tell you, explain, even if it makes no sense, even if it does not help him, purely because you deserved to know, at least some of what happened to make him treat you this way. Never an excuse…
Could he find the courage?
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You two walk through the poor village, your hand rests delicately in his inner elbow, you look so pretty in your day dress, but when don’t you look pretty? Satoru wants to act as if this is real, that it’s no agreement, that it’s something true. Your face is scrunched up in worry as you look upon the acres of farmland and the conditions those are living in.
“Gojo… this is so… we must help them.” You look at him, your hand gently squeezing his arm, and Duke Gojo nods.
“Yes, I want to help them, it will be much more than a month of course, but I appreciate you helping at all.” You sigh now, as you all approach the main farmer that supplies the Gojo Manor with food and grains.
“Your Grace!” The farmer and his wife bow and curtsey, then look at you and do the same. “Your Grace!”
“No need to be so formal.” You say, and Satoru watches your soft smile as you walk up to them, they seem instantly enamored by you.
“We are here to discuss some better conditions, I know my father… was slacking when it came to this.” Satoru says, and they nod carefully. “Please, be honest with me so I may help.”
“Rest in peace to his grace.” Satoru tries not to snort. “But indeed, his short run as Duke was absolutely devastating to the villages, we had hoped that perhaps you would…”
“Hush, Richard!” His wife hisses, and Satoru holds a hand up.
“No, I need honesty. Go on.”
Richard sighs, wiping his sweaty brow. “The taxes have made it near impossible to do anything but break even, and we give as much food to the manor as we can, but here people are hungry” Satoru feels sick then, thinking of his conditions, thinking of how he let this all go, let all of this go because of his hatred.
“Cut the manor’s supplies by twenty-five percent, to start.” You say then, and Satoru smiles, as you look at him curiously, and he just nods.
“We could never!” Richard’s wife says, clutching the bodice of her old brown dress she wears.
“Indeed you may, we have a surplus. And Duke Gojo will lower the taxes as much as he can, it may not go back to how it was, but he can certainly lower them, yes husband?”
Fuck you’re amazing.
“Indeed, I will lower them… twenty-five percent.” He smiles at you, and you light up, nodding. Richard and his wife begin to cry, then they’re on their knees at your feet, you squeak adorably, yanking on them.
You bring everyone to their knees, don’t you?
“No, no! Get up!” You hold their hands and smile at them. “We will work on fixing this, you have my word. For now that will provide much needed relief.”
“You’re an angel, a godsend.” His wife says through her tears, and you pull a fancy handkerchief out of your reticule, handing it to her and holding her shoulder gently.
Fuck you are an angel. Satoru marvels as you start speaking to them both, and Satoru does not have to do much, not with you there, not with others around coming to you, and marveling at your beauty, and your kind nature. You are so gracious and sweet to every last one of them, taking your time as the Duke speaks to the men about the financials.
“Please make us a list of what you need. We can come and help with supplies or anything.” You say before you all leave. “Make a list for us, yes?”
‘Indeed. Oh, your Grace, you married an angel.” Richard says now, and you shake your head with a little smile.
“You’re… fuck, you’re incredible.” Satoru says as you all are waving goodbye and heading to the next person you must speak to. You blush prettily at that, looking nervously at the ground.
“You’re being so nice. It’s so weird?” He laughs a bit then.
“I was very nice once upon a time. Let’s say someone broke me. Like I clearly tried to break you.” He hates himself as he speaks, but you take his hand carefully for a moment, he feels the satin of your gloves before you pull away.
“I’m not broken just yet. Who's next?”
“The landlords of the village, I do need to speak alone to them, they do not respect women’s opinions. As if their wives aren’t smarter.” You giggle and the sound does things to his entire body. “Would you mind spending some time looking at the horses for sale as I convene with them?”
“Oh, of course. I will meet you there.” It’s so easy to pretend you both are a couple, so very easy to pretend that Satoru almost believes it, and so quickly. When he does finish threatening the landlords and getting them to lower their rents, he finds you petting a beautiful white horse and feeding it an apple. You look back at him, your curls bouncing as you grin.
Fuck, his heart stops completely, as the rays of sunshine bounce off your skin, making it glow, and he wishes upon anything he had not been so horrible, so foolish, because now all he will get are glimpses of you. There would be nothing else, once you are gone.
“Come here, look at her, she’s a beauty!” You say with a laugh, and Satoru takes a breath and comes over then, petting the horse’s face gently, she looks up at him with big brown eyes.
“Quite a beauty. Is this the one you want?”
“You cannot buy me a horse-”
“Why not, it’s a trifle to me. At least enjoy… before you leave.” He mumbles then, as the words hurt to say. You look at the horse carefully, then look at Satoru, smiling so cute, he watches your face light up. Today he’s seen you smile so much, he does not think he ever has before, not after what he’s done.
Is this who you are?
“That is most generous, Gojo. Thank you.” You hug him before you seem to think better, easing back with a tighter smile. “Thank you so much.”
“Of course. Let me purchase it, we can have her tied to the carriage.” Satoru purchases the horse and can’t stand how adorable you are, it causes some twinge he can’t place.
Satoru had long thought you so beautiful, long wanted your body, long enjoyed how you challenged him, your strength and confidence. But now he’s noticing every little thing you do, every gesture, every soft smile, everything about you, constantly endearing you to him. He should not get so close, so hopeless, knowing you do not want him, knowing you can never be his.
How can he fall for you now? When you’re not his, even if you’ve ended things, it’s not as if you suddenly would forgive and forget what Satoru’s done, especially in just a day or two. His problem last time was that he did not give you time, he just expected things to happen, as things always have for him, as a Duke, but you were not some conquest or some quick thing.
You are so much more.
Should he have hope, or is he a fool?
Now you all are in the midst of a little fair, where there are all sorts of villagers dancing and laughing, and you look up at Satoru then, sighing. “Although they’re so very underprivileged, don’t they seem so happy? So much more happy than…”
“Than you?”
“Than us.” You answer, and he sighs, nodding.
“They do seem happier. Perhaps finding the joy in community, in lovers, in family, whereas we just play our roles. Though I suppose your role will end soon.” He can’t stop the hurt in his voice, and you notice, blinking back emotion. You shouldn’t care, why do you still care at all?
“Perhaps. I know I would find joy in children, in family. Oh, hello!” A little girl runs up to you then, practicing her curtsey, making you giggle.
“Princess, Princess!” She says to you, and you look like one, don’t you, it’s why Satoru says so. You are straight out of some fairy tale, and Satoru is some beast you’re stuck with, surely.
“Aha, I am a Duchess, so very close. He is the Duke, so almost a Prince!” She points to you, and he chuckles a bit, shaking his head as you bend down, uncaring of the dirt at the bottom of your skirts. In fact you seem more alive here than you ever have at a dance or at the manor.
Satoru watches you light up then, as you stand up and hold that little girl in your arms, with the biggest smile on your lovely face, fuck it lights everything up, a sight he never thought he’d see near him. Not when he brought you so much pain before, so much so he detests himself for it, for clearly dimming this beautiful, bright soul you have with so much darkness.
Your little laugh is precious as you hold onto the kid, playing with her ringlets, and the kid grins so big back at you. “You so bootiful Dushess!” She speaks, and even Satoru smiles, he can’t help it, the kid is so genuine, and you’re so adorable with her.
“Me, beautiful, oh thank you, but you are such a beautiful Princess!” You say to her, and then you take off that little blue tiara you have, putting it on her little head as you sit her down on the ground. The little girl lights up, running to Satoru then, tugging at his lapels.
“I is a Pwincess!” She says with a big smile, and Satoru can’t stop his chuckle, adjusting the tiara worth far too much to be something for play, but then he notices you watching him, smiling at him so big, nodding.
God you’re beautiful.
You’re just glowing as you whisper - “tell her she is one”
Satoru sighs, leaning down on his haunches now. “You are indeed a true Princess, look at you! Can you twirl?”
“Twirl? Hmm!” She spins and he laughs, then takes her tiny little hand in his, spinning her instead, and she giggles like crazy, then Satoru looks at you, your hand on your chest, your eyes glassy as you smile.
“There, Princesses twirl like that. Let me show you with the Duchess. May I, my lady?” Satoru walks to you and bows at the waist, you blush so pretty as you give him a delicate curtsey.
“Indeed, you may, Prince Gojo.” She teases, winking at the little girl, who is bouncing up and down, as other kids come up with their parents, smiling at you both. Satoru takes your little hand in his big one, the other on your waist, realizing for once you are wearing short stays and not a corset, and he can feel your waist.
He has to take a breath for a moment, as he spins you, and then looks at the children with a smirk. “We need music!”
“Oh, let me sing!” One of the little kids says, and then they are all singing together, quite horribly, making you giggle as you look up at Satoru, and fuck you take his breath away.
Could you ever forgive him, care for him, stay with him?
The thought of you leaving makes his chest hurt so bad it’s like someone is ripping his heart out, to know he pushed you right into the arms of another, he hates himself for it. He wants so badly to know you, and he loves what he’s learned today, that you would be the best mother in the world. That you light up around children.
Perhaps your baker would have given you those, but for a heartstopping moment as you dance in his arms, in the middle of a poor little village with kids singing, he wonders if he’d change his vow to not have an heir, if only it was with you. If only you would stay, he would do anything for you now, anything to keep this smile.
He knows he has next to no chance, he knows he’s only beginning to repair anything, but you make him want to dream of it, make him want to try. As he dips you over his arm, and whispers against your ear - “A pretend kiss, Duchess?”
“You’re such a cad.” You whisper back, as he leans you back up to stand, eyeing your beautiful lips.
“For the children!?” He whispers, looking at them, then at you, and you sigh, looking up at him and nodding with a little smile.
“For them.” Satoru cups your face and plants a sweet, chaste kiss on your lips, and everyone is cheering.
“Royalty!”
“So in love!”
“So romantic!”
It’s not true, you’re doing this because he’s got you in an arrangement, because he’s trying his best to hold onto you, to just get a little bit of your attention and time before you slip through his fingers. But he feels you tremble in his arms, your arms wrap around his neck, and when you pull back you are flushed, smiling shyly, before you compose yourself and grin at the onlookers.
After you all had moved on and were walking back to the carriage, Satoru takes your hand, and you pause, before removing it, looking up at him. He sighs, his own hand at his side, as he burns for you, for your affection, something he pushed and pushed away. You sigh then, as you all get to the carriage, and look up at him, taking his hand.
You make his heart falter.
“Sorry, you’re trying to be so much kinder, I do appreciate it. But I’m too afraid that it’s a lie, that I have lost someone who loves me because I am foolish.” Satoru nods then, thinking of that man on you, swallowing down the sickness.
“I have one thing to say. If you would let me.” You take a breath, nodding then, and he cups your cheek, looking down at you, and feeling you tense, biting your lower lip. “I wish that was our first kiss.”
Tears form in your glittering eyes, as you suck in a breath now, looking away and your lip trembles. You shake your head, and Satoru’s heart is pounding, he’s never vulnerable, he’s so terrified, will you shoot him down, and how will he react? He’s so fucking scared…
“I wish that was our first kiss too.” You say finally, and he gasps, as you then turn away, and his hand touches your waist gently, helping you up into the carriage. He comes to sit next to you and you take his hand again, carefully with a small smile. “I wish we… well I guess it…”
“Yes. I agree.” You pull away but he pulls it back, and your eyes lock, the breaths loud in the carriage as it rocks gently. “I know you’re leaving me, but could I please enjoy this while I can?”
“Enjoy my hand?”
“Yes.”
You nod then, pulling back and taking off your glove, smiling as you hold his hand so carefully, now bare, your skin against his making him yearn ever more. “You mean like this?”
“Yes. Thank you.” He murmurs, holding your little hand, and you nod just a bit, as the sunlight filters through the carriage blinds, and Satoru thinks for once, maybe he could open up, he could try even if it’s going to end in his own pain. Even if you’re too far gone, he cannot give up. He has to try for you.
“Today was beautiful.” You say after a few minutes of quiet, and he looks over at you now.
“You’re beautiful.”
“Don’t… please…” Your voice breaks, and he sighs, shaking his head and turning to you now, still holding your hand. “Duke Gojo…”
“I should have told you from the beginning. That night, our wedding night, how beautiful you looked, your lacy little outfit, your hair shimmering.”
“Don’t.”
“You looked perfect, your body I can only imagine fully, I’ve just seen it in pieces, but I know it’s beautiful. I know your heart is beautiful. I saw you today, uncaring of dirt, treating these people as equals. I have never met a fucking noble like that.”
“You give me too much credit.”
“I gave you no credit until now. None. I was horrible.” He hates himself then, as emotion wrecks him, emotions he wants to keep in as he cups your face. You have little tears glistening down your cheeks. “I know you’re not mine. But it was so beautiful to pretend.”
You grip his wrist, as if to take it off, but you don’t, you shake your head at him now. “Why did you do this? Why did you cause this? Do you not understand, if you did not, I would have… fallen… I…”
“What?” He asks quietly, and now you take a breath and shut your eyes, as you speak words he thinks are impossible.
“Even now, after all you’ve done, I feel things for you, I don’t know if they are hatred, I have no idea, but they consume me. Consume me so much I had to let a good man go, because you’re always in my fucking head. I hate it, I hate it so.” You take his hand off then, and Satoru exhales, as you swipe your tears off your cheeks.
“Do you think of me?” He asks, and you laugh then, without humor, eyes glistening with a sheen of tears as you study him.
“You are like a plague, a sickness, I hate it. I hate you so much, Satoru.”
“Satoru?”
“That’s what you hear!? Not that I hate you, that I hate what you do to me!? That I can’t rid myself of you? Even when we’re done, I have no clue if I will, thinking of your body on me, thinking of your lips on mine, biting mine. When I had someone perfect, and all I desire is you. I hate it, I hate it.” Your words get hoarse, as your breasts heave in your bodice, as your cheeks flush with anger, or more.
Satoru scowls then, grabbing you by your waist. “You think you don’t constantly consume me? I told you I burn for you, I meant it, in every way. Not just your body, not just your face, it’s everything, everything about you making me fawn over you like some stupid schoolboy. Just by existing you destroy me.”
“You destroy me.” You’re crying fully now, and you shock him then, bringing him down to meet your lips.
You’re kissing him!?
Satoru has always kissed you, mostly when you fought, when you were so sexy when angry he could not stop himself, when you pushed him to the point he could not hold back any longer. But now you’re pouring your passion into his lips, and he pulls you against him, moaning into your lips, tasting your sweet lips, drinking you in, as you’re even closer against him.
You pull back, shaking your head at him, struggling to breathe. “I hate that I want you, I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t!” You smack at his chest then, and he lets you, he deserves your hits he deserves none of your kisses, none of your kindness.
“I know you shouldn’t. I know.” He brushes your hair back, falling out of your perfect little coif, and you’re trembling in his hold, as he looks at you so lovingly, as the carriage is reminding him of that night, the night he tasted you.
“Why do I want you?” You are asking yourself more than him, as he’s right against your lips, as you breathe each other’s air, as he can feel your pulse racing under his thumb as he feels your little wrist in his grip. “I’m a whore, you’re right.”
“You are not a whore. I should have never called you that. I’m… fuck I’m so sorry for saying it, for blaming you. I just… I wanted to be your first.”
“You didn’t deserve to.”
“I know.”
You sigh then, head falling back as he pulls you into his embrace, as he feels you tensing, then relaxing in his grip, now one of your thighs is over his, and he’s slipping his hands up your skirt, inch by inch, watching you and waiting for you to tell him to stop, but you don’t. You’re just watching him, as he reveals your legs, clad in little white stockings with bows.
“Like the wedding night.” He murmurs out loud without realizing, and you shift, even closer, it’s as if you’re both drawn to each other like magnets, like he’s drawn to your gravity, and you his, as he’s consumed by images of you. “I should have given you a true wedding night. Not having you crying and hurt. You should never forgive me, never, for any of it.”
“I know I should not. I know.” Your hand runs down his chest then, as Satoru’s hand is even higher, and he finds you, soaking wet and dripping, and he moans as he feels you, so slick. You cry out, head falling back, hips rolling for more. “I should not want you. I hate it. I hate you.”
“You should hate me.” He whispers, as he slides a finger in your tight entrance, watching your eyelashes flutter, as your breath quickens, and you whimper from the back of your throat, making Satoru so hard he can’t stand it, it’s painful. When he leans down to kiss you again, lips hovering. “Let me make you cum, please, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
Fuck it means so much to him though.
“I shouldn’t be doing this, I’m stupid.”
“So am I. But you’re not stupid, it’s… something between us, I’ve never felt it, even with my… with my ex. Ever.”
You look up in surprise, but then just moan out loud when he finds your clit now, and he can’t stop himself, he’s dragging you on his lap, you’re straddling him, as he fingers you, as you’re soaking his hand. And you’re clinging to his shoulders, kissing him desperately, messily, unpracticed still but fuck you’re good at it, as he pumps his fingers in your eager little cunt.
“Fuck you’re beautiful.” He whispers, enamored by the goddess on his lap now, and you’re clenching around his fingers now, gasping. “That’s it, cum Princess.”
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Your POV
Satoru makes you cum right on his long fingers, so easily, so hard you’re blinded, as your entire body overheats, and you’re trembling in his hold, as he presses you down now, and you feel it, his length so hard and pressed between your lips. You moan out, grinding and rolling your hips, and fuck you want more, you can’t take it, when he looks up at you with those blue eyes.
When those elegant fingers unlace your bodice, and he’s sucking a nipple into his mouth, pressing up, and your head falls back, as waves of pleasure roll through your body, then he’s kissing you again, and you can’t think, you can’t function. You need Satoru Gojo like you need air, and you’re horrible for it, for wanting him so goddamn bad.
You break away and his pretty lips pout, thin brows draw together. “Please, it doesn’t have to-”
“It means something. It does, and I don’t know what it fucking means. I don’t know anything, Satoru.” You can’t help it, but feel vulnerable in his strong arms, and he’s cupping your face so delicately.
“You can still leave me, I understand. Just let me please you again, and again, until you pass out from pleasure, until-” Gojo’s desperation, his pleading, and his stupidly pretty face do you in.
You’ve fought it so long and you’re weak for him.
“Fuck it.” You pull back then, to his shock, unbuttoning him eagerly, and his eyes are wide in shock, as his own breaths hitch, and you find his length with your hand, stroking his pretty cock, watching his own head fall back.
“Oh my god I’m fucking dreaming.” He whispers, as you’re stroking up and down, feeling his hot skin, he’s so hard for you, and he’s kissing you again and again, moaning into your mouth. “Fuck I could cum just from that. Pathetic for you, fuck you.”
“Fuck you, fuck you. Hate you Satoru.” You whisper, then he scowls at you, gripping your hair.
“Should fuck that bitchy mouth.” His aggressive words just turn you on more, and he stops himself. “Fuck I shouldn’t say that, I’m sorry, I’m trying to-”
“Fuck my mouth then.” You say, earning him sputtering at you, before he’s pushing you down on your knees in the carriage, and he’s shoved his cock in your mouth, and you’re so wet it’s stupid, as he groans, hitting your throat.
“Fuck, feel so good, slutty throat, isn’t it?” You just nod, pathetic like he is, you want him to call you it, you love his cock hitting the back of his throat, love him moaning, whimpering above you as he’s cupping your face. “Oh my god, fuck.”
“Mmm.” Is all you manage, as you’re playing with your pussy under your skirts, aching for him.
“So slutty, you’ll play with yourself? No.” He yanks your hand off now, sucking on your fingers and groaning. “Only I can touch you.”
You pull back then, letting him go with a pop of your lips, eyeing the precum on his tip, before looking back to Satoru, glaring. “Only you!?”
“I want to fuck this attitude out of you.” He whispers, as the carriage stops then, and you realize what you’re doing. You hurriedly run out, leaving him to adjust himself and chase you, you can’t breathe, fuck you can’t… “Please, please… don’t leave, don’t run from me. Please it can mean nothing if you want. Just use me.”
“Use you… what… I…” Satoru stops you in the halls again, pressing you into that wall he’d had you on before, barring you with his arms on either side.
“You can still go. Just please, give me this moment, I have never wanted someone like this, I’ve never needed someone like this.” You shake your head, trying to come to your senses as he’s consuming you. “I’ll just make you cum, you don’t have to touch me again.”
“I liked touching you, sucking you! Fuck you for that!” You shove at him, and he exhales, so tall over you, so beautiful as his face is so close, as his hand slides to your bodice, undoing it lace by lace, and you’re on fire for him.
“I don’t hate you.”
“You do!”
“I don’t. I hated you because… fuck… you look like someone, who hurt me, okay? Just like her.” He’s cupping your face, and you blink in surprise, feeling him open, feeling his vulnerability. “It’s no excuse, and I can explain more later, but please, please let me keep touching you, I know I don’t fucking deserve to, but please.”
Satoru finally confirms what you thought.
You want to know more, but your addled, overheated mind can only think how much you want him. “It doesn’t mean I’ll stay. It doesn’t.”
He’s unlaced you fully now, and unzipping your skirts, letting them fall to a pool at your ankles. You’re in just your chemise now, nothing else, and in the middle of the manor, where any servant could walk out. You are on fire everywhere he touches, everywhere he kisses, as he picks you up now, your stocking clad legs wrapped around his hips.
“I know. I know. Let me have you cumming on my face again, let me drink every bit of you, please. There is no one I desire as you.”
“Liar, liar!” You cry out as he’s kissing you again, as he’s grinding his hips and pressing against you. “Liar.”
“I was a liar. I was. Not now. You are a madness, a black hole, sucking me in every minute you breathe.” You can’t take it, as you’re letting him carry you, as he’s shutting the door to his room, and you glare at his bed.
“How many whores came on it? I won’t fuck you on it.” You say then, and he grins like a little shit head.
“You are going to fuck me?”
“No!”
“Hmm. They’ve been cleaned. But I can fuck you on the wall, like a pretty little slut, is that what you want?”
You scoff, shoving at him. “I don’t want you. I don’t like you. I hate you.”
“Mmm, I know, Princess.”
“Not a Princess- fuck!” Satoru’s slipped off his coat, his shirt, and you drink in his perfect body, as you slide your chemise down now, and he’s staring at you, dropping to his knees, mouth dropping open.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous. Every bit of you.” He presses kisses on your tummy, as you feel emotions consuming you when he pulls down your stockings gently, as you feel Satoru’s energy taking over, as you cannot stand hardly from just his breath against you.
“I should not want you. I should not. I hate myself for it.”
Satoru looks up at you, his blue eyes swirling as he inhales you, mouth kissing your pussy just the slightest bit, making your hips jerk, as he throws a thigh over his shoulder. “I hate myself for hurting you. I hate myself so much.”
His words break you, you can’t stop the tears, of desire, hatred, confusion, of everything, of his vulnerability as he kisses your inner thigh, biting it hard, and then the pain makes you even wetter. “I hate myself and I hate you.”
“I hate myself for making you hate me.”
“Fuck… fuck just…”
“Just what?” He raises a brow, and you glare.
“Just…” You press his head against you now, and he moans, tongue lapping at you as only he can, as if he knows every spot, every inch, fucking you with his tongue as his nose bumps your sensitive clit, then he’s sinking two fingers in, and you’re cumming embarrassingly fast, as he drinks you. “Satoru!”
“Oh my god.” He groans, vibrating you as he continues fingering, looking up at you. “I can do this all fucking day. Nothing else.”
“Mmm, liar, you liked me sucking you.” He smirks then.
“Are you talking shit to me, insolent brat?”
“Sure am. Fuck you for being that good at this. Ah!” He’s sucking on your clit now, humming on it until your knees get weak, and you knock him down to the floor, eagerly grinding on him again, and he flips you on your back, the cool marble against overheated flesh, hovering over you.
You can’t speak then, not when he’s covered in your slick all over his face, not when he’s shoving two fingers back in, watching you fall apart hungrily on his goddamn floor, and you’re writhing under him. “Want to be fucked on the floor, maybe you are just a pretty little whore.”
“Oh fuck you, Mr. I fuck the brothel. Hate you.” He chuckles then, pulling out his fingers and sliding them in your mouth then, making you choke out as you taste yourself.
“Shut you up. Ah!” You bite his fingers now, and Satoru winces, shaking them off and laughing like a psycho. “Evil little bitch.”
“Cruel, mean ass fucking Duke. Hate you, mmm.” Satoru’s cock is at your entrance, and you’re cumming just from it rubbing on your clit, he gasps then, his jaw clenching. “Mmm!”
“Cumming from that, are you so pathetic, Princess?” He whispers, and you glare up at him, on your elbows now, he shoves you down, thigh high over his arm, and he looks at you, eyes darting back and forth on your face. “Ready to actually get fucked, like the pretty slut you are?”
“All talk, aren’t you, bet you- ah!” Satoru’s cock has shoved fully inside you now, and you’re shuddering as you try to take it, as he’s filled you so full, and he pauses then, lips parted, looking down at you.
“Fuck.” He whispers, leaning lower, a hand sliding up your ribcage, his forehead resting on yours for a moment. “You feel better than anything. Perfect.”
For once, the word does not hurt.
Because Satoru feels perfect inside of you.
“So tight. So wet. Oh my- fuck-” Satoru slides out, then back in, and you’re screaming out at it, at how he’s grinding his tip on your cervix, something you’ve never felt, so intense you’re shaking. “Beautiful.”
“Oh shut up, fucking… don’t make me like you… just… fuck me, ah!” Satoru’s stroking in you now, and your head slams into the floor at how good it feels, as he’s moaning over you, kissing down your throat, your breasts, fucking you harder and harder, so hard it hurts, but you want it you want- “more, more.”
“So slutty, need to get fucked good huh?” You say nothing, and he slams into you hard, and you’re cumming again, so intense you can’t see, everything goes blurry, and he then is pulling out, making you whine. “Cock hungry, aren’t you?”
“Fuck off, Satoru. Fuck-” He picks you up now, throwing you on his bed, and slamming back into you, groaning as he rolls his hips, as he snaps them into your pussy over and over, and you’ve never felt that good. You’re losing yourself in him, in his cock, his hands, his lips, his everything.
Just physical, it has to be, you can’t love him.
You can’t, you won’t, you never will.
You’re stupid.
But fuck his cock is wrecking every thought you had, and where Nanami at this point would be done, this psycho is just getting started it seems, as he’s pulling both your legs up, fucking your deeper. You’re clinging to his blankets desperately as he pumps, and your head is going side to side.
“Gonna fucking ruin you, Princess, for anyone.” He whispers, shoving your thighs against your breasts, and you’re gushing all around him, as he pumps so deep. “Make your cunt mine.”
“It’s not yours. It’s not. Ah! Mmm!” Satoru’s turned you then, and you’re on your tummy, panicking, looking up at him. “What are you doing?”
“Gonna fuck you like this, Princess. What, thought you were so experienced, huh?” He slides his cock in as you’re on your tummy, and he’s so deep like this, you feel him everywhere. He takes you over, as he buries his head against your neck, biting it, his hand sliding low as you’re shattering, unsure of your existence.
“It’s too much, too much.” You whine out, and he laughs then, psycho ass duke, rolling his fingertips on your clit, and you can’t take it, your head falls back, and he’s got a hand around your throat.
“Too much, Princess? What he couldn’t fuck you like this?” He shoves in so deep while he’s squeezing your throat, you feel like you’re floating. “You like it, me choking you, don’t you?”
“Fuck you.” He smiles against your cheek, his silky white hair tickling you, moaning into your ear then, sounding so sexy it pushes you over the edge.
“Feel her pulsing around me, fuck she wants my cum, doesn’t she? Slutty cunt, fuck I almost would just to feel it.” His words are madness, as he keeps squeezing, as he’s slamming his cock inside you, and you can hear the squelching wetness as she sucks him in, greedy for more, until your orgasm rocks you. “Oh fuck, that’s it, Duchess, that’s it. Cum all over me.”
“Hate you, hate you.” You whisper out, but you hate yourself, because you have never felt this good. He’s tilting your head now, slamming his lips against yours, in a mind numbing kiss, his cock working you over and over into oblivion, your walls clenching around him, you hate how you can’t imagine not having this.
“Could’ve been doing this, fuck I’m stupid fuck. I hate myself.” He huffs the words, then your eyes lock, and your vision blurs on his pretty face. “Best I’ve ever had, ever.”
“Liar. Manwhore.” You kiss him brutally, a hand reaching back to pull his hair tightly, and he moans at that, fucking you harder, each thrust smacking your ass, making it jiggle.
“Little slut. Wanna be fucked mean, don’t you?” He fucks brutal then, slamming your cervix, gripping you and gasping. “Oh my god, cum again, fuck cum again. Slutty fucking cunt gripping me too good.”
“Fuck you, Satoru- ah!” You scream out as you do cum one last time, fuck you’ve lost count, you’re weak and going numb as he thickens inside you, pulling out then, jerking himself into his hand, whimpering as he cums, hunched over as if in pain, and you carefully sit up, watching him breathlessly.
Satoru’s hand is covered in thick white ropes, so much of it, still pouring out of his pretty pink tip, his eyes fluttering shut, lips parted. You’re trying to catch your breath at what just happened, you feel as if you’re going to fall off the edge of the world. He looks at you then, as you look at his cock, fuck you could suck him again, he tasted so good, how does his cum taste?
Why do you think this way!?
“Let me… don’t leave, please?” He pleads, and you nod a bit, as he comes back with a washcloth, carefully wiping you, lovingly almost, what a joke, studying your pussy carefully with a smirk.
“What?”
“Beat her up.”
“Oh god.” You smack at his hand then, rolling your eyes. “You’re such an immature man. Boy I should say.”
“Boy, huh, how many times did you cum?” You’re blushing then, as he’s leaned close, kissing your lips once more. You bite him, glaring. “You’re so adorable mad, you know that?”
“You vex me so.” You push him off then, trying to catch your breath, as the reality sets in.
Nanami was right.
You ended up right in his bed.
As if reading your mind, Satoru sighs, brushing your hair back. “I’ll still allow you to leave, even if we’ve consummated the marriage.”
You look at him in shock then. “You will?”
“I gave you my word. I don’t want you too, but I will not hold you here if you still want to then. I swear it.”
“But why?”
“Because you deserve that choice, the one not given to ladies. You deserve to leave me for what I did.” He blinks away tears, lingering on his white lashes, and you break into pieces, falling deeper into his gravity, into his black hole.
He seems to feel you’re his black hole.
How do two black holes work? Do they destroy each other?
“I must… I must go.” You say softly, and he shuts his eyes, resting his forehead on yours now, nodding.
“I don’t want you to go. But I understand. I wish I could… bloody hell this is stupid. Wish I could hold you.”
“Hold me?”
“Yes, I ache to hold you every night. But I’ve brought it all upon myself. Thank you, for this. I did not deserve it, did not deserve to feel you, and your tight little pussy, watch your beautiful face, touch your perfect body. None of it. Thank you.”
“You’re thanking me?”
“Yes.” His eyes lock on yours when he pulls back, and you can’t put two and two together.
“I can’t trust you yet.”
He gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing. “I know.”
“If I fall, you’ll just get a new mistress, flaunt her, you’ll-”
“There will be nothing after what I just felt with you. You’ve ruined me, Duchess, ruined me forever.” His words are hoarse, and so easy to fall into you have to pull away, shaky as you stand, he has to steady you. “Do you want to know more about her?”
You nod, you’d been so overwhelmed you could not remember anything for a moment. “I would, yes.”
“Get rest tonight, I will share with you tomorrow, after we take care of more pressing issues with the village.” He slides your chemise on, and touches your shoulders with his hands, even that action makes you ache for more, as your pussy throbs from his cock still, aching in ways you never have. “Thank you for everything today, even if it’s just once.”
His eyes, his face, his lips, his vulnerability, it’s too much. You lean up then, as he bends down, kissing him, letting him hold you. “I shouldn’t have.”
“You shouldn’t have, but you did. I’ll dream of it.”
“Shut it, Satoru. Fuck you vex me.” You kiss him again, before dragging yourself away, taking several breaths. “I still hate you.”
“You should.” He takes your hand, kissing it then. “There’s no excuse for anything I’ve done. I will never be able to make up for it. But I hope… tomorrow you’ll understand me more.”
“I hope I will as well. It was all I ever wanted.” Your voice breaks, and you turn away then. “I bid you goodnight.”
“Good night, Princess.” He pulls you back, tilting your chin up, kissing your forehead, and you melt from it. ���Thank you.”
You cannot speak, you just leave quietly, back against the large wood doors, eyes shutting as you try to compose yourself, as you try to understand what happened, but there’s no words for it. You’d loved what Satoru did, you’d loved his cock inside you, loved him biting you, calling you a slut, loved him taking you from behind, consuming you utterly.
You are shaking as your Nan prepares a bath, and you can’t even speak to her, as you sink into the hot waters, remembering every bit of his touch. Is that what sex truly was, when you felt so much? Nanami had been so sweet with you, Nanami had professed his love, begged you to stay, but you left him.
You’re horrible.
Because Nanami isn’t even in your mind, unless you force him there, unless you make yourself think of him. It’s all Satoru Gojo, your mean husband, a cruel man who had destroyed you, a man that had fucked women right in front of you. A man that had pushed you to lose your innocence, when perhaps you would not have so quickly, perhaps you’d have thought better.
If he did not destroy your mind, your psyche, your soul. But you wanted to forgive everything when his pretty face looked at you like that, when his eyes gave you that gaze that made you feel so desired, like you were the only thing that existed for him. Nanami had never looked at you like that whatever the fuck that was.
You should scrub Satoru Gojo off you, but instead your mind is filled with images of him, that sweat dripping down his straight nose, his lips reddened from your kisses, the way his eyes rolled back when you sucked him. Instead you relish in it all, in a man you’re going to leave, in a man you don’t know, that made your body come to life.
You sink into the tub then, into the water, scalding hot, and you hope it burns you alive, as you scream out under the water in frustration.
What the fuck were you doing?
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A/N: Lots of people are torn on this story, as they should be! Some people don't like the Duchess, she's not perfect as perfect characters bore me, I like complex ones. This was always a gojo/reader even if I really am confusing and hurting people lol. Love ya'll who enjoy my mess, Nanami isn't gone from the story by the way!
Taglist : @kalopsia-flaneur @bunheadusa @7thsthings @disilluzions  @chiyokoemilia  @antisocialinlw @Sukunassfinger @lelsforlino @peppertoastuniverse @muvasuperior @prince-wyiilder @lavender-hvze @ssetsuka  @labelt-san  @sadmonke @philiatothephobia @ambiguouslady42 @stromynight @dreamygirli3 @jjknanamin @jazlenekasi @victoriaaaa00 @wuvnada @valleydoli @nanasukii28 @sw3etnena @dark-agate @tamaki-simp @yuuuumii @givluv2tyy @webshooterrr9 @miizuzu @thikcems @erensblackwife @murayamayoshiki-lovergurl @airandyeah @jaylenezzz @blue-musingss @huuuhwhaat @teacupwaifu @makingtimemine @saccharinesatoru @sunnyviewsblog @nanananananaiknow @spookyblackhottie @ekaterinatepes @murayamayoshiki-lovergurl @szna
Until the next one, dear masochist readers
Part Ten
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hikarry · 1 year ago
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I'm not really on the team that swears to Jesus and beyond that Crowley lost his memories after the Fall. Yes, of course, he forgot some stuff because, ya know, he has been alive for more than 6000 years and if I don't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, Satan knows he won't remember every single second of his life, but he remembers the important things
"Ah, but what about him not remembering fighting alongside FurFur or building the thingy with Saraqael?"
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Love, I give you two options:
Those are either some of the stuff he didn't consider important enough to remember OR he is just straight up fucking with them. He does remember, but why reveal it if playing dumb sometimes is good in the long run? Might be useful
Alas, I don't know, but I will die on the hill that he does remember
Which means he most probably remembers meeting Aziraphale. Not because Aziraphale was "important" at the time per se, or because it was love at first sight (because it wasnt, not for him. Bro was so focused on the nebula he didnt even introduce himself when Aziraphale did. He threw him a "Right. Nice to meet ya. Anyway, nebula time!"), but because he was there when Crowley created the nebula and, as he said, he had been waiting for that moment since "well, always". It's an important moment for him, so he remembers. Aziraphale just so happened to be present
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I don't know if that was the only interaction they had in Heaven or not (and that's not the point I'm trying to get to so I will ignore that problem for a later post, maybe), but when the now Demon Crawley was sent up to the Garden, he did remember Aziraphale. That's why he approached him
Cmon, Crowley isn't stupid. Of course he wouldn't approach an angel on the wall just willy nilly and make conversation. He didn't know Aziraphale had given away the flaming sword yet. Just approaching an angel from behind and morph into a demon next to him out of nowhere could be a death sentence. Or at least an A Line for a good smitting
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Yet, he did it. He had at least 3 other angels to choose from but he approached the angel that he remembered from back in the beginning that was kind enough to help him with the engine of the nebula. Hell! I even bet this was not the first time they saw each other in the Garden!
Bet they've seen and observed each other from afar a few times while they interacted with the humans (yes, cause I believe Crawley, before tempting Eve, tried to gain her trust. It's easier to listen to a friend than a random snake) or just around the Garden really.
That's why Aziraphale didn't get surprised when Crawley showed up at the wall, because he knew the demon snake had been around the Garden for a while. He probably even recognized him as the former Star Maker and hoped he was still a little bit of his old self so he allowed himself to engage in conversation
Anyhow, another clue? This:
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He remembers how Heaven works. He remembers he was a high ranking angel. Satan, he remembers the bloody passwords!
Do you know what else he remembers?
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Cause they didn't throw that line in there for nothing. No, gents. Cmon. Nothing is random in Good Omens
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He knows who he was. He remembers being the Star Maker that hung the stars in the sky
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He remembers why he fell, for goodness sake
And the fact that he remembers everything makes all of it so much more tragic, doesn't it? He remembers his life before the Fall, his supposed friends that dragged him into the pit with them, what Her love felt like, the "mistakes" he made that led to his Fall
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And it must have hurt. It must have hurt so much when he found himself in a pit of boiling sulfur with his wings completely burned and without Her love because he remembered it all. He must have been so bloody confused for so long
He might have regretted it. All the questions and the company he kept that made him Fall. But he doesn't anymore.
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He knows he doesn't need Heaven, he doesn't need Hell. They are toxic. All he needs is his pacific fragile existence on Earth with Aziraphale and yet...well, that's something else he won't forget now, is it?
*clears throat*
I rest my case
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apt502-if · 2 years ago
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DEMO (JULY. 10. 2024)| INTROS
Apartment 502 is a 18+ slice-of-life romantic drama inspired by shows like New Girl and Friends.
Content warnings include: explicit language, sexual themes, substance use, violence.
Moving from your small home to New York City was supposed to be a dream. You were supposed to start your new life with your long-distance partner and dive headfirst into full-on adulthood. Everything was supposed to be perfect. How can you not love being in your mid-twenties in the Big Apple?
That is until your put-together, white collar partner dumps you the same day you arrive.
Fun.
Essentially homeless and determined to make the life you dreamed of, you take a last-minute offer to move into the spare bedroom in Apartment 502. Now, you're twenty-five and living with three other longtime best friends with their own drama and messy interpersonal relationships. Parties, late-night pizza runs, drama, fights, heartbreak, betrayals...maybe the life you want won't be as easy as you first thought.
Will you find romance in the city that never sleeps?
**Apartment 502 is a romance, angst, and drama-centered story **
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design your mc from clothing style to appearance to pronouns, gender identity, name, looks, and more.
choose 1 of 5 jobs that grant you different scenes and different people: (artist/musician, news anchor, writer, teacher, bartender )
curate your MCs personality and how they react to all the hijinks Apt. 502 has to offer, especially the drama that ensues. Style your MC's room and their aesthetic style.
navigate angsty and dark dramas that weave your roommates in a a narrative that can either save their friendship, or break them apart.
engage in a romance with 1 of 6 characters: one of your roommates, your ex, your neighbor or work rival.
Ruin relationships or mend them. Center yourself around the roommates and become part of the core group.
Follow Apartment 502 throughtout MC's first year as a roommate: from holidays, to birthdays, to everything in-between.
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Atlas/Athena [f/m] - 1 of 3 roommates. A is the elusive and isolated musician who makes a living writing songs for others and doing gigs down at the local bar. A is quiet, nonchalant, and prefers their isolation. After getting their heart broken by their high school sweetheart, A has swore off love and vowed to focus solely on their career. A has no room for love, and they make it clear.
Appearance: Olive, freckled skin. Atlas has shaggy brown hair that falls in front of their eyes in a wolf-cut with bleached white dyed pieces at the bottom. Athena's brown and white hair falls down her back with black, straight-cut blunt bangs. They usually wear all black and have a variety of piercings.
Callum/Calliope [f/m] - 1 of 3 roommates. Cal is the ultra nice, slightly uptight, easily flustered college professor who is currently dating their longtime partner...that everyone seems to hate. Cal seems very in love with them and is oblivious to their best friends' irritation, but is that all a ruse?
Appearance: Cal has golden blonde hair. Cal's hair is curly fluffy while Calliope's falls down in soft ringlets around her face. Pale skin and green eyes. C dresses down, wearing basic clothes like button-downs and plain dresses.
Levi/Lani [f/m] - 1 of 3 roommates. L is boisterous, arrogant, and the comedian of the group. L makes their money as an influencer and uses their abundance of free time to pick up all kinds of people. L doesn't believe anyone can get them to settle down, especially considering they've never been in love..nor believe it exists.
Note: you can only romance L by starting a purely physical relationship first.
Appearance: Russet brown skin and long black hair that falls down their back and tied in a messy bun. L usually wears a white, billowy button down tucked into black slacks with an abundance of rings.
Garrett/Gaia [f/m] - Your neighbor. G is friendly but distant, always looking down at their phone when they see you. They seem disinterested in the happenings of Apartment 502. You can't help but wonder more about them...and their young child.
Appearance: Brown skin and curly black hair. G usually has headphones on, and Garett's hair is cut into a curly undercut while Gaia's is primed in a slick bun. They're usually dressed in a pristine black turtle neck and matching black pants.
Rainn [f/m] - your perfect, financially-stable lawyer ex. You thought what you and Rainn had was special, until they abruptly dump you the same day you were set to move in. The worst part? They live in the same building.
Oddly enough, Rainn doesn't seem to be acting like someone who should be completely moved on...
Appearance: Rain either has a severe black bob or black slicked back hair and usually seen in a pantsuit or business-casual clothes. They have tan skin and bright blue eyes.
Mason/Mona [f/m]- your old academic rival...who is now your co-worker. What are the chances you two ended up in the same place? M seems to have a lot of fun making things harder for you at your new job, especially considering you guys are competing for the affection of your boss. Tch.
Appearance: Long or short dyed white hair and tan skin with bright brown eyes. (M's outfit is dependent on job of choice.)
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vrystalius · 3 months ago
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He hates the way he fell in love with you.
Sanemi hates you. He hates your cute smile, your gorgeous eyes and your soft hands. Damn you.
Fictober prompt: “It’s always been you.”
Pairing: Sanemi x gn!reader
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Sanemi believed that he never deserved any goodness in this world. All the nice things were given to everyone else but him. Maybe he offended the gods with his mere existence to the point of taking everything but his little brother away from him? And even he is still in danger and refuses to get himself to safety by leaving the Demon Slayer corps’ for good. Perhaps the gods want to see him suffer throughout his life. That’s why Sanemi refuses to let himself get attached to anything at all.
Everyone lives on borrowed time and in this job their time runs out quicker than others. Some people live to see retirement, others leave their lives behind after encountering a particularly strong demon. There’s no reason to get used to the people around him. He’s always build walls around him, making them thicker and higher, impossible to break down. His anger is his brick and his detachment the concrete, holding the walls together. It has always been that way, and yet there’s you.
With every conversation, with every smile or even just a glance, you break down all his defences and leave him nervous and nauseous. Almost like a stupid teenager, and Sanemi hates it. He hates you, he hates your damn smile, your kind eyes, your gorgeous body, your adorable cheeks and your soft hands. Oh, your soft hands. Whenever you reach out to touch his arm, warmth spreads throughout his whole body. Your stupid hand makes him melt from the inside out, yet he can’t bring himself to even glare at you. He just… savours the feeling of your hand until you pull it away so quickly again. The ghost of your touch lingered on his skin for hours, torturing him.
Sanemi hates you. He hates you. He wants to hate you so bad, he wants to yell, scream and push you away, but he just… can’t. He can’t. He’s too weak to resist your charms or however you managed to infiltrate his carefully build walls. The wind hashira is resisting as much as he possibly can, but his eyes always trailed back to your back while you weren’t watching. He took his time to take your full form in, how your hair looked so incredibly soft. Your uniform fit you so well, the tailor finally did a perfect job for once. You sat right next to Giyu, that bastard, with your hands clasped together on your thighs. Your thighs looked so plush and nice to lay his head on. Closing his eyes, he already imagined the feeling.
Your fingers playing with his hair while he rests his head on your thighs, your beautiful face looking at him. Your lips beautifully soft and perfectly kissable… While still sitting in the hashira meeting, his body subconsciously leaning forward, yearning for your lips in his mind. Noticing his small movement Sanemi quickly straightened his back and tightly clenched his thighs through his uniform, trying to redirect his stupid pining for you elsewhere.
You, it’s always been you who he has been imagining every day and night. You and your stupid, stupid smile and your stupid ability to make him so idiotically soft.
Yes, Sanemi really hates the way he fell so hard for you.
💠
Yay! First prompt done! Hope you enjoyed it and look forward to more! I received the first request and will post it tomorrow, it’s going to be a little different from what I usually post.
Here are the lists you can choose prompts from: (you can also choose a character you like!)
Fictober (fluff, angst)
Flufftober (fluff)
Whumptober (angst)
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!
Take care of yourselves <3 Happy Halloween season!
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star-anise · 4 months ago
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Ask I got on my sideblog but am answering here:
Hi there! I know you're a therapist and I have a question: I saw some people arguing on Twitter about the impacts of trauma. There was a therapist among them, and they had a masters degree in social work, they post about it often. They say that people who have experienced trauma hurt other people because it benefits them or gives them pleasure, and they are disconnected from empathy and sympathy. That seems wrong, but maybe it's not? That's all, thanks!
Ooof, yeah, that's... complicated. It's technically true, but also frequently used as a lie.
Trigger warning: Child abuse, child grooming, interpersonal violence, trauma (childhood & intergenerational), true crime, totalitarianism
Because basically, that describes MOST humans who decide to hurt other humans on purpose without a strong ulterior motive. That's not a trauma thing, that's a human thing.
I babysit for a family with a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old. When the 1yo does something to upset their older sibling, and that sibling winds up and smacks them, that's the same basic thing. It benefits them (makes 1yo go away), brings them pleasure (having an outlet for their anger is very satisfying), and they're disconnected from empathy (they're often surprised and confused when the 1yo is crying, because they're 3 and THEY feel fine and they don't really understand yet that other people's feelings really exist) or even sympathy (understanding that if you hit someone, they will probably be upset). That's something we adults have to watch out for and intervene in, because empathy and impulse control take time to learn.
But as for where trauma figures into this... how to explain.
There's this old logical puzzle about categories, where you say things like:
All dogs have four legs*
A dog is an animal
And then the catch is that you can't extend that to say
All animals have four legs
*RIP to all the tripods and legless animals that apparently aren't dogs anymore for the purposes of this logic exercise
Animals obviously include fish and millipedes and whales and snakes and jellyfish. The number of legs an animal can have is HIGHLY diverse, and will eventually lead to a debate on what the definition of "leg" is.
So there is this common thing we see:
Some people are much more violent and aggressive than other people
These violent and aggressive people have almost always experienced some form of trauma/abuse/neglect
And the link people are really prone to thinking is:
People who have experienced trauma/abuse/neglect will go on to being violent and aggressive with other people.
This is incorrect. To some degree, I can see why it's widely believed - after all, way more people tune in to learn about a serial killer's abusive childhood than for the more common story, which is survivors of trauma slowly going about their lives in ordinary undramatic ways.
Because the thing is, trauma is REALLY diverse. Humans are inherently varied and a bit chaotic, since we can choose very different ways to live and operate, and trauma splits that variability like a prism turning light into a rainbow. Only about 30% of abused children grow up to be abusive themselves. The other 70% choose very different lives.
And yet. My eternal question is: WHY is this such a meme? Why do so many people with a shitty childhood flinch at the 30% statistic and think, "Is that me? Am I destined to be a monster?" Why does this story have legs, when so many other facts about trauma have way more empirical backing and usefulness and get very little attention?
I submit that there is one group that fucking LOVES the idea that traumatized person equals abuser. One group that pushes it into the discourse, in international media or around the family kitchen table, with great ingenuity and gusto.
Abusers.
They love it for two reasons. The most obvious reason is: It absolves them of their actions. "It wasn't ME who hit you, it was my childhood trauma!" A veritable classic excuse that takes their agency out of the equation. And it really can be hard to tell when it's a good excuse and when it isn't!
Reason two is the more insidious one: It cuts their victim's sense of goodness, worthiness, and moral certainty out from under them.
It's as simple as saying, "Look at how you pushed back at me (when I was abusing you)! You're the REAL abuser here!" It's the heart of what domestic abuse researchers call DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). It can be that simple, or it can be so complicated and byzantine it makes your head hurt.
I only really got a handle on understanding this thanks to a friend, who said she was okay with me sharing this story if I didn't identify her. I won't go into any unrelated details of her abuse, but for the record, hers is probably the most extreme case of anyone I've personally interacted with, and I used to work as a therapist and in domestic violence shelters. Her dad heinously abused her as a child. He'd also studied psychology in university. I have been trying to fathom how the fuck anyone could do what he did to her for YEARS, and I think I've got a few viabletheories.
So. She was an ordinary child, bright, warmhearted, well-behaved, and a bit autistic. A bit more naive and trusting than your average preschooler. I imagine that from his perspective, there was the convenient benefit that he often had unrestricted access to her, and he could relatively easily overpower and manipulate her.
But she had one serious downside: If anyone ever found out what he was doing to her, they would go fucking apeshit. She wasn't really prone to lying or acting out, so people would treat her as a fairly credible reporter; several other adults found her she was lovable, innocent, and endearing; and what he wanted to do to her was, I repeat, heinous.
So while he abused her, one of the things he said was: "I'm doing this because I was abused as a child. That's how it works. All abusers come from abuse. There are statistics proving it. This means you're an abuser too. See what society thinks about child abusers? That's what people will think about you, if they know that you've been abused."
And she was, you know, a child, not someone who studied psych research. He was her dad. So she believed him.
She thought that he was using his adult brain to correctly assess the truth about her as a person, for purely objective reasons. The way you'd try to teach a kid who talks with their mouth full about table manners. It's been a couple decades now, but she is still very slowly chipping away at her core belief that she is inherently awful and only her father recognized the truth about her.
Sometimes when we talk about it I have to bite my tongue because I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with him, an adult man who wanted to abuse her because he'd really enjoy it. I think about him trying to figure out how to manipulate an innocent child into accepting being abused, and minimize the risk that he'd go to jail for it. And although I hate his everloving guts, I'm almost a bit impressed at his level of machiavellian audacity, to come up with a line that was SUCH hot bullshit that people have devoted their entire careers into proving it false, and yet, because it hit exactly the right psychological issue at exactly the right psychological stage and his intended victim was so trusting, he could get her to believe him enough to turn that lie into her core identity.
Praise be to G-d and Criminal Minds, he did not, in the end, get away with it. She got enough courage to tell people, and get free of him. And she is not, in fact, a horrible abusive person.
But I think what he did so very brazenly is what a lot of abusers do, in more disguised and indirect ways. Probably partly because it really helps, when abusing people, not to treat them like human beings with their own thoughts and feelings, but if one must posit that they have something going on between their ears, it's easiest to assume that everyone else responds to trauma with aggression and abuse. After all, considering the possibility that someone like them could choose not to be abusive takes all the fun and plausible deniability out of the whole affair.
But now I see echoes of that "my victims are just as bad as I am" tactic all over the place. I honestly think it's a very similar mechanism that Hannah Arendt pointed out in The Origins of Totalitarianism. She observes that violent totalitarian regimes routinely accuse their intended victims of the very act they intend to commit themselves, to justify a "retaliation" that's actually just aggression. Think claiming "Our opponents are rigging this election" as an excuse to rig an election in the opposite direction.)
To sum up: You're human. Humans can do good and bad things. It's not necessarily good to completely forswear anything violent or angry in you, but to come up with a framework of how to be assertive and get your needs met in an ethical fashion. There are times it is appropriate and even necessary to escape or fight against somebody else's will.
On the other hand, If find yourself inflicting pain on other people on a regular basis, get some support and take a good hard look at your life choices. Sometimes it's hard to figure out how to solve problems in your life without violence or aggression, and you might need some help with that. Maybe talk to a counsellor or learn anger management skills.
But in no way is it predestined, inherent, implicit, or doomed, that your experiences and brain wiring make you violent or evil. You always have the choice to define yourself beyond what was done to you.
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tarotwithavi · 1 year ago
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You from the eyes of your future lover/future spouse
Read part 1 here
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How to choose a pile?
Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Kindly ask your spirit guides to show you the right pile for yourself and then open your eyes. Whichever pile catches your attention is the right pile for you.
For my female audience , I'll be using she/her pronouns in this post.
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Pile 1
When I'm with her, I feel an overwhelming sense of strength and confidence, as if I could conquer any challenge that comes my way. She embodies everything that brings me joy and fulfillment. Being in her presence makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world because I have her by my side. Her mere existence has the power to make my wildest dreams a reality. Not only does she inspire me to reach for the stars, but she also motivates me to become a better version of myself. Her influence pushes me to strive for greatness in all aspects of life. Just knowing that she is there for me, supporting me, and believing in me, helps me heal wounds that were never caused by her. Her presence alone has a transformative effect on my well-being, bringing me solace and restoration. If her love were poison, I would willingly drink it without hesitation or remorse. Such is the depth of my devotion and the extent to which I value her affection. I yearn to be of assistance to her, to be a reliable pillar she can lean on. I aspire to be her rock, her unwavering support, providing comfort and strength whenever she needs it. Being with her fills me with an indescribable sense of empowerment and joy. She is my beacon of happiness, encouraging me to strive for greatness and inspiring me to become the best version of myself. Her love and presence heal me in ways I never thought possible, and I am eager to reciprocate by being her steadfast support and ally.
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Pile 2
Describing her is a challenging task, for she possesses a depth that transcends the confines of ordinary words. She carries an aura that attracts wealth and prosperity wherever she ventures, as if they were faithful companions by her side. From a distance, she appears strong and bold, yet I sense a vulnerable little girl hiding within her, fearful of the harshness this world can wield. She has distanced herself from those around her, for nobody has truly comprehended her essence. No one has made an earnest effort to unravel the intricate puzzle of her being. My deepest desire is to be the one who unravels that enigma, the person who embraces the challenge of understanding her complexities. I yearn to discover every missing piece and gently place it in its rightful position, completing the beautiful picture that is her. I want to penetrate the walls she has built, to listen to her unspoken fears and insecurities, and to offer solace and understanding. By becoming the person who comprehends her deepest self, I hope to bridge the gap between her and the world that often fails to perceive her true nature. I want to be the companion who supports her unconditionally, providing comfort and encouragement as she navigates through life's labyrinth. It is my aspiration to create an environment where she can fully express herself, knowing that she is truly seen, heard, and appreciated.
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Pile 3
The moment our eyes met, I was immediately captivated by her essence, as if an invisible force had bound my heart to hers. Prior to meeting her, I had been skeptical of love at first sight, dismissing it as a mere romantic notion. However, in her presence, all doubts were washed away by the sheer brilliance of her beauty. She has bewitched me completely, leaving no room for retreat. Even if her allure leads to my demise, I would embrace it willingly, for the privilege of experiencing her presence outweighs any consequences. Her presence has an intoxicating effect on me, causing me to lose my composure in the most enchanting way. It is as if she holds the power to unravel the layers of my soul, igniting a fire within me that I cannot control. My hands yearn to touch her, to explore every corner of her body, as if searching for an uncharted territory that only she possesses. Every flaw she may perceive within herself, I view as perfect imperfections, enhancing her unique beauty and making her all the more irresistible. Words fail to fully express the depth of my admiration for her. She is a work of art, a masterpiece without blemish in my eyes. I am eager to shower her with praise, to extol every facet of her being, and to make her feel cherished beyond measure. In her presence, I find myself stripped of pretenses and laid bare, drawn to her like a moth to a flame. It is an indescribable sensation, this all-consuming affection, where reason and logic are overshadowed by an overwhelming desire to be closer to her. She has become the center of my universe, a gravitational force pulling me toward her. To love her is to lose myself willingly, surrendering to the magnetic power she holds over me.
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mischievousmoony · 6 months ago
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𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜' ⟡ 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸
⟢ james potter x black!reader (fem)
⟢ summary: after your parents cross the line, you and your older brother sirius find sanctuary at the potters'. however, things don’t go so smoothly at first . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 3.6k
⟢ warnings/tags: abusive parents, james’ clothes are described as baggy on the reader, siblings fighting, fluff then angst
⟢ part 1 ⟡ part 2 ⟡ part 3 ⟡ masterlist
note: my writing's so rustyyyy the dialogue is so off but im so done editing. and this is gonna need a few more parts, i keep getting carried away.
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The Potters' house was very different from yours. It was the first thing you noticed when you woke up. Back home, it felt like Grimmauld Place existed under a perpetual storm cloud. Here, sunshine cannot be escaped. The curtains were drawn closed, but light still filtered in from both sides, almost pleading for them to be opened so that it might do its duty of brightening the house.
Another thing you noticed were birds, who sang pretty songs from right outside your window. You can't remember ever hearing any birds outside your home, and there were plenty of trees for them to nest in. In fact, you started to believe that the aura of your house scared all living things away. Realistically, it was probably all of the yelling and screaming.
As you lie in an unfamiliar room and think of all the reasons why you preferred it over your own, three gentle knocks beat on your door. They sounded different than James' quick staccato, and nerves bubbled in your stomach because you couldn't guess who was on the other side.
You took a deep breath, told yourself that you didn’t have to be so on edge here, and called for the person to come in as you sat up. The knock pattern automatically filed itself away in your brain as belonging to Mrs. Potter. She walked in, carrying a silver tea tray.
"Good morning, dear. Sleep well?" She greeted you as she made her way to your bedside.
"Yes, Ma'am." You said politely.
"Oh, please call me Effie," she insisted as she placed the tray on the bedside table and moved to draw open your curtains. You imagined the sunshine saying thank you for finally letting it in.
“I’ve brought up some tea for you. I wasn't sure how you liked it, alas..." Effie waved her hand over the tray.
The tray had the basics: a teapot, sugar, and a small milk pitcher. However, Effie had also laid out various tea bags for you to choose from, along with some warm biscuits.
“Thank you,” you said in awe as you stared at the display. It was a simple tea setting, really, but the thoughtfulness still had you feeling choked up.
"I spoke with James this morning. May I?" Effie gestured to the edge of your bed, and you welcomed her to sit. "He woke Monty and me up at the crack of dawn, insisting that we let you and your brother stay permanently. Even had tears in his eyes. I tell you, that boy has his father’s big heart."
"Anywho, I nearly tossed a pillow at him for waking me up so early, as if I’d even consider an alternative! But I got to thinking, if James felt like we needed convincing, then we better make sure you and Sirius don’t feel any unease either.”
Effie reached for your hands that lay folded in your lap. “So,” she paused a moment to allow you the chance to shoo her off before placing her hand over yours. “I felt it was important to tell you personally that you are welcomed in this home and this family, assuming you’ll have us, for as long as you need us. That sounds like a good deal to you?”
You bit back tears, “Yea- yes. I think that sounds lovely.”
Effie smiled and squeezed your hands, “Can I give you a hug, dear?”
“Yes, please.” you croaked.
Effie wrapped her arms around you, and you let a few tears loose while she couldn’t see you, wiping them away with your thumb as soon as they appeared. The hug felt warm and unfamiliar, and you wondered if there was a time that your parents ever hugged you like this. If they did, you didn’t remember it.
From behind Effie’s back, you watched James waltz over through your blurry vision. He became distracted by the surprise that the bedroom door was already opened, eyeing it before anything else in the room as he leaned against the doorframe.
“Good morning, sunsh- Mum! You’re in here!”
Effie pulled back from you and craned her neck to look over her shoulder at her son, who was standing up as straight as a board in the doorway. She raised an eyebrow at him, sensing his sudden weirdness.
“I was just welcoming Y/N to our home, like we discussed. Are you alright, dear?” Effie tilted her head.
“‘m splendid, Mum.” James said it with a goofy smile, rocking back and forth on his heels.
She drew her eyebrows together and said, "Lovely, James. What can we do for you?"
"Me? Do for me?" James' eyes widened.
Effie shook her head, perplexed by her son’s reaction.
"I'm wondering what brings you here, James?"
"Ah. I was just in the area," James said, doing a poor job at acting casual. "Y'know, the upstairs... area. Uh, so I thought I'd say good morning... Good morning!"
You thought that this must be the kind of thing people face palm over.
“Hm,” Effie squinted at her son, studying him for a moment before deciding to worry about whatever that was later. She turned back towards you, “Anywho, this is your room now, so I hope it's to your liking. We can see about changing these sheets and painting the walls however you’d like-”
“It’s perfect!” You interrupted, looking bashful for doing so, but Effie didn't seem to mind.
“Well, feel free to customize it any other way. Any posters?” Effie offered.
"I didn't have time to grab that sort of thing,” you admitted, and immediately felt stupid for doing so. Effie clearly just wanted you to feel at home, and you felt like you were being a downer.
But if it phased Effie, she didn’t show it.
"Well then, that means we get to go buy some new ones, yeah?"
She gave your hands a final squeeze before standing up, saying, “I better let you wake up and enjoy the tea,” and walking towards the hall.
Effie affectionately patted James on the cheek as she passed him.
“Have you had breakfast, dear?”
“Mum!” James shrank away from her, his face growing hot. “I will in a minute!”
She tsked at him, gave his cheek one last pinch, and made her way out of the room. James hung from the doorframe into the hall to watch her go. When she was out of sight, he dipped into your room and shut the door silently behind him.
James' back pressed against the closed door as he shot you a toothy grin.
"Good morning, sunshine," he repeated.
You can't help but giggle at him while saying, "Good morning, Jamie."
As he walked over you, his smile slightly faded as a hint of sadness crept onto his face when he noticed your teary eyes.
One thing you loved about James was that he never resorted to any of those hollow phrases like "don't cry" or "stay strong" when he tried to make you feel better. Instead, he always concocted the perfect cure for the situation. Today, it was goofiness and a lot of kisses.
James made a big show of acting innocent as he approached. He whistled some tune and looked anywhere but you before he suddenly dived at you, embracing your waist with a gentle yet decisive sweep of his arms. He flung his body into the mattress, dragging you down with him. You yelped and chided him through laughter.
When you landed, you were tangled awkwardly—your body twisted so that your torso was on top of his, but his legs were draped over yours. James' arms were still wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping you trapped as he peppered kisses on your face. He kissed your cheeks and the corner of your eyes, then your eyelids, effectively kissing away any stray tears.
You were a fit of giggles by the time his lips reached the tip of your nose. Next up, he dipped his head to kiss each side of your mouth before finally capturing your lips with his. You giggled through the feathery kisses he pressed on your lips, and he couldn't help but follow in your footsteps as he smiled against you.
Soon, laughter overtook you both. Yet you remained close, with your noses brushing against each other and your foreheads pressed together, as your happy laughter filled the room.
Eventually, James' laughter began to die down. He removed one of his hands from your waist to help brush your hair back into place, it having gotten disheveled from his attack.
You settled down as well, letting the touch of his fingertips in your hair calm you. He took notice and continued running his fingers through your hair, even after it was all brushed out of your face.
For a peaceful moment, you gazed into his eyes, which were filled with admiration and mirrored your own. James watched as a glint of mischief suddenly sparkled in your eyes.
"So," you voiced.
"Mhm," he hummed.
"You've clearly never tried to hide something from your mum before."
"Why would I 'ave had to hide something from my mum before?" James pouted, briefly bringing your giggles back. "Only reason I haven't gushed to her about my beautiful girlfriend," James gave your waist a squeeze, "is 'coz she would have qualms with me lying to a friend."
"Oh, so I guess we better go tell Sirius then, yeah? I wouldn't want to make you lie to your dear mum, I like her." You teased, amused by James' eyes widening nervously.
You've talked about telling your brothers before, but it's something neither of you were quite ready for—you were too fond of the blissfulness you found in the privacy of your relationship.
"Er, I don't particularly feel like getting socked in the face today." James said.
"Oh, come on. You think he'd react that badly?" You carried on.
"I think Sirius punching me would be a mild reaction for him." James grimaced, "He'll probably hex me into the next century. And I get chills thinking about what would happen if Regulus were to find out. Oh, I'd be a dead man. Or he'd put an irreversible curse on my bloodline. It's a tossup, really."
Your smile faltered at the mention of your twin brother, suddenly remembering your situation. You let yourself get distracted by the warm welcome from Effie and James' affection. How could you lay here happily while Regulus is still stuck at that house?
Your expression suddenly grew very solemn as you began squirming out of James' grip. "Where's Sirius?" you asked.
James seemed to choke on his own spit. "Uh, pardon? You're not really planning on telling him today?” Despite his protest, James loosened his grip, not wanting to keep you somewhere you didn’t want to be. “At least let me put my Quidditch gear on, I might need the protective padding."
You had tunnel vision the moment Regulus’ name was mentioned, but you realized what James was saying by the time he mentioned protective padding.
“Not that, James. I need to find out about Reg.”
His mouth formed an O shape as you stood at the foot of the bed with your hands on your hips.
“So do you know where he is?”
“Uh, eating breakfast probably,” James guessed, “in the dining room.”
You stared at him expectantly and after a while of him not moving, you huffed, “I don’t know where that is, James!”
“Right!” James scrambled up from the bed so he could lead you through the house. You could’ve found it if you wandered long enough, but the Potters’ house was fairly large, and you wanted to talk to Sirius as soon as possible.
By the time James had led you to the kitchen, you could see Sirius in the next room over through the open archway. You pushed past James at once.
Sirius was alone at the head of the table, various platters of breakfast food surrounding him. The kitchen was hot when you passed through it, so one of James’ parents must have just been cooking, but they were nowhere to be seen now. Sirius was shoveling some sausage onto his plate when he saw you.
“Sirius,” you said sternly as your hands returned to your hips.
“Look who’s finally up!” Your brother cheered, “Just in time to eat.” He gestured at the seat next to him.
James appeared at your side, and said, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Maybe you should have some before you-”
“Where is Regulus?” You interrupted, ignoring James altogether.
James’ utterance of “Yeah, didn’t think so” was lost on your ears.
With a scowl on his face, Sirius turned his attention away from his meal. His eyes scanned over you, and his scowl twisted into an amused expression. “Nice outfit!” he snorted.
You looked down briefly to see yourself drowning in James’ clothes. Being much taller than you, James' sweats pooled at your ankles. You rolled your eyes.
“Stop it, Sirius. Where is our brother?”
Sirius squinted at you. You thought he was finally going to give you answers when he decisively opened his mouth, but instead, “You should sit and eat. James is right, breakfast is the most-”
“Sirius!” You raised your voice, your hands molding into fists as your arms dropped to your sides.
Sirius threw his fork down with a clatter, “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me why he’s not here with us.” Your pleading voice cracked as you begged your brother for answers, stepping closer to him.
Sirius had a stormy, faraway look in his eyes, as if recalling something poignant. “The only one who can answer that question is him, so you’re out of luck,” he said bitterly.
The simmering anger in your chest started to bubble, rising up to your throat until you were spitting words that you would later regret. “You left him there!” you accused.
“Excuse me?” Sirius sent a deadly stare your way as he slowly pushed his chair back and stood up.
“Woah,” James tried to interrupt, moving to stand between you two, “Maybe we wanna take a moment and-”
You stepped around James, and his remaining words were drowned out by your raised voice: “I said you left him there. He’s not here because of you.”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” Sirius bellowed, growing more irritated with you.
“Then why not enlighten me, Sirius!?”
“He chose to stay!" he disclosed. "Alright? I know you think so highly of your favorite brother, but he chose that place!”
“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed, crossing your arms and looking away.
You ignored Sirius' choice words of "favorite brother." You weren't going to let yourself get distracted by that conversation, which you've had a countless number of times already. Sirius was sensitive to the fact that Regulus was your twin brother, and Sirius would always just be your brother, no matter how many times you told him that you loved them the same.
“I told him to pack, just like you, and he said no. I told him he had to and he refused," Sirius said vindictively.
“Then you should’ve tried harder!" You snapped, spewing words you didn't mean, "Now he’s there alone. He would’ve come if you would've just tried harder, I know it. This is all your fault!”
Sirius reeled back as if you had punched him in the gut. For a moment, he looked hurt, but then anger overwhelmed him. “How could you say that? You weren’t even there!”
“Because you never let me be! I stayed in my room, like you said to, and was out of my mind with worry. Next thing I know, we’re leaving and Regulus isn’t, and that feeling hasn’t gone away because I have no idea how he is. You should’ve grabbed him and dragged him along! You should’ve-“
“Why is everything my fault!? Why is it what I should’ve done!? You don’t even know what he did!” Sirius' nostrils flared with rage.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about how your dear Reggie isn’t as good as you think he is," he sneered. "If you only saw him…”
“I don’t care what he did, he’s our brother!" You shouted, "He should be here. It doesn’t matter!”
Sirius slammed his hand on the table, “IT DOESN’T MATTER!?” he screamed, causing you to jump back. Tears immediately began welling in your eyes. No matter what you did, when you were being yelled at, you started crying. You weren't like your brothers, who could hold stone-cold, emotionless expressions despite whatever was swirling within. It was one of the reasons your brothers did what they could to keep your parents away from you—to Walburga and Orion, emotion was weakness.
Your tears didn't phase Sirius like they normally would have. He was too furious. “You want to know what he did?" he asked harshly. "He watched. He watched our parents torture me, and then he just walked away!"
“What did you want him to do?” you cried, “He- he was probably scared,” you hiccuped, “you- you should’ve-���
“I shouldn’t have done anything, goddammit! She crucio’d me! THAT’S what he watched our mother do. THAT’S what he let me deal with alone. I was on the ground unable to get up for damn near thirty minutes, and he knew it!"
Sirius nearly doubled over, grabbing the table in front of him for balance so hard that his knuckles blanched. All of the yelling gave him a head rush, but he wouldn't relent, "So don’t you tell me that I should’ve tried harder. That I should’ve grabbed him. He doesn’t care about me, so why should I care about him?”
Your hand clasped over your mouth as you sobbed. Your parents were cruel, but the Cruciatus Curse? You couldn’t fathom it. Your mouth suddenly felt dry, and bile bubbled up in your throat as you recalled Sirius’ scream from the night before.
Neither of you seemed to have anything else to say. You both just stood before each other in your most vulnerable states. It was a miserable sight—you crying your eyes out and Sirius looking sick as a dog.
Neither of you had noticed James leave until he returned. His parents followed closely behind.
"Snitch," Sirius choked out, glaring at his best friend as a fit of coughs hit him, his throat strained from the yelling. He ducked his head down and screwed his eyes shut suddenly, like the light in the room was starting to bother his head.
James didn't seem to care what Sirius thought of him. He was too busy being concerned for you both. Besides, James didn't really snitch. You two were being so loud that his parents were already on their way. He happened to run into them in their pursuit.
"What's going on?" Effie's gentle voice rang through the room, "We could hear yelling from the other side of the house."
Even though James' mum was being stern, she didn't sound angry or upset. Her voice only carried notes of concern and motherly authority.
Neither you nor Sirius answered her, too busy crying and coughing. Both of you would've probably been too sheepish to answer, anyway.
James' parents shared a look with each other, deciding what to do about the situation through eye contact alone.
Fleamont spoke with a firm voice, "Alright, son, we ought to get you up to your room. I think it'd be best for you to lie down." Fleamont clasped a hand on Sirius' shoulder. Your brother let Fleamont assist him in the walk to his room.
Euphemia moved to comfort you, but James stopped her. "Wait, let me."
She raised her eyebrows at her son, skeptical of the idea that her young son was equipped to handle this situation. But James had already started reaching for you, and like a moth to a flame, you melted into his arms the moment you felt his fingertips graze your skin.
Effie's eyes darted between you and her son, settling on him when her features melded into a look of understanding. A million questions raced through her mind. How long had this been going on? Why didn't James tell her? Did James tell Sirius? But the one thing she knew for sure was that you found comfort in James, and comfort was the one thing you needed right now.
She took a deep breath and decided to trust her son. "We'll talk about this later. I'm going to check on Sirius."
"Thanks, Mum." James let out a relieved breath.
"Just... behave."
"Mum!" James blushed, his hands swiftly traveling up to cover your ears with his palms.
"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!" Effie waved a hand in the air as she followed in the direction of Fleamont and Sirius.
James noticed your shoulders had started shaking intensely.
“Lovey,” he cooed. He moved his hands to cup your face, tilting it up to look at him. He was surprised to find that the reason for your shuddering shoulders was not because you had started crying harder. You were still crying, but it was mixed with a bit of laughter.
"I guess neither of us are very good at hiding things,” you said, thinking of how you jumped into his arms right in front of his mother.
James shook his head, a single chuckle escaping from his lips.
“Guess not.”
Your moment of humor quickly passed, your eyes turning sad again as more tears spilled out.
James sighed, brushing away your tears with his thumb before pulling you close to his chest. He rubbed soothing circles on your back, pressed kisses to the top of your head, and whispered professions of love and sweet words in your ear while he let you cry. Sometimes, he knew you just needed to let it all out.
Eventually, you let James’ touch and loving words relax you. When your crying was reduced to a sniffle, James veered back so that you could see his face.
“Let’s go on a walk.”
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ROUND 5 MATCH 6
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Claude propaganda:
"To say Claude has trust issues is an understatement—you have to spend half the game earning his. (Claude isn't even his real name!) Once you have it, though, he's absolutely ride or die for you until the stars go out. He is so full of heart and ambition: He wants both sides of his heritage to get along, he wants to open borders and eliminate xenophobia and promote equality between commonfolk, and deep down, I think he craves a partner to stand with him at that new dawn, or an equal who sees his vision for the future and will fight for it just as hard. Nobody believed in him when he was a kid, but if you put your faith in him, he'll return it tenfold. Some people don't like that he's calculating, or has to leave the player character at the end of the game to go back to his homeland, but both are necessary elements for his goals to change things. He will always come back, and everyone who bets against him and his love for his companions is wrong with a big fat W. #KhalidForMostDatablePrez"
"Claude is a fun little onion of facades. He calls himself the embodiment of distrust, he acts like he's carefree and without worries, an unscrupulous schemer--and so many in universe buy into that hook line and sinker. He's used to others viewing him with suspicion and uses it as armor to obscure his not-so-dark truth: that he cares immensely, that he values minimizing the loss of life, and that above all he has so much hope that people will fundamentally choose to do better given the choice.
His front guards a center that his conflict filled world would be happy to tear apart. As the child of people from two nations in constant conflict--one of which is explicitly isolationist and dehumanizes those outside its church's reach--he hasn't really had a place where he can be without his facade. As a child he thought he could run, but when confronted with the fact that this hatred existed no matter where he ran, he chose to instead try to create a more just and kind world.
His inability to let others in beyond his facade at first may lead to a sense of distance, but isn't it then all the more satisfying when you're allowed in? All he wants is a little trust, a little faith, and--like what he wants to give everyone--a chance to be better.
And like that you got a charming young lad with a fun personality that your grandma would be thrilled to have stay forever."
Josephine propaganda:
“you get to have a full Disney princess style romance with her, she is the most precious, the most sweet, I love her so much 🥺”
“Josephine's one of the "behind the scenes" companion for the protagonist and she advises them on diplomacy-related matters.
Her personal quest and romance is fairy-tale worthy: she gets threatened with assassination, you help her restore her family's fortune, you get threatened by her best friend to not break her heart, she doesn't dare to hope you mean anything serious when flirting until you spell it out for her, after which Josie agrees to a deeper relationship... And immediately after that she finds out her family has engaged her to a random noble without her knowledge!! You publicly challenge the suitor to a one-on-one duel to win her hand, she finds out and interrupts the duel because she's worried of the Inquisitor throwing literally the entire plot away and risk life in combat for her... To which of course you can confess that they're doing it because they love Josephine, and they get the cutest cutscene with Josie jumping in the Inquisitor's arms and them spinning her around before kissing each other <3 The betrothed steps away because he sees true love between the two. She and the Inquisitor stay together through the end game and after it, gaining a "second home" with her and her family.
She really believes in the Inquisitor's cause and from the very first conversations with her, she asks questions about your background and tries to make you feel welcomed (especially appreciated if the Inquisitor isn't human since people are less trusting of them). She's politically smart but dislikes violence, overall very sweet but still strong... Josie tends to overwork herself (she's a perfectionist) and at first she tries to keep a professional air at all times but if you encourage her, she will rant to you and spill all the tea about nobles lol.”
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low-budget-korra · 12 days ago
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Let's talk about the kidnap scene
Yes, the one in season 1 where Jinx kidnapped Caitlyn
First of all, the main reason Jinx hates Caitlyn is because she is jealous of Vi. The fear of losing her sister again, the fear of being left behind...In Jinx mind at the point, she and Caitlyn couldn't co-exist in Vi's life. Sure, the fact that Cait was an enforcer plays its part, but mainly I believe it was just jealousy..
So, I've seen people arguing about Jinx having more reasons to hate Caitlyn than Caitlyn has to hate Jinx and I disagree.
Jinx has no reason other than jealousy to hate Caitlyn, her beef is with Piltover and everything she thinks Cait represents and not Caitlyn the person. Similar to the Equalist and Amon beef against the Avatar, where he hated the symbol but couldn't care less abt the girl behind it. In this case, both Amon and Jinx dehumanize their enemy, seeing them just something that needs to be destroyed.
However, Caitlyn has all the reasons to hate Jinx. Jinx was responsible for a terrorist act that killed several enforcers and almost killed her, Jinx stole from Jayce (someone Cait sure loves like a brother) something that could be turned into a weapon, Jinx invaded Caitlyn's home and kidnapped her when she was the most vulnerable, Cait also spend hours at Jinx mercy where Jinx did/say God knows what to her, she was bound and gagged, she was victim of Jinx light emotional torture, she was knocked out by Jinx and Jinx killed her mom. So yes...I think she has tons of reasons to hate her.
But let's focus on the kidnap scene because the trauma Caitlyn suffers here is overlooked and probably something she didn't process right, since she was busy mourning the death of her mom.
1. Jinx invades her safe place. Caitlyn was literally coming out of the bath, totally vulnerable. Imagine someone sneaking into your room like that? It's terrifying. It makes the safe place not be safe anymore
2. Caitlyn was naked. Imagine you, naked, in the hands of some unhinged criminal? I know some people hc or question if Jinx did something against Caitlyn at the moment, but I doubt it, Jinx is unhinged but she wouldn't do such a thing. The maximum thing she would do is mock. Idk, say something like "so that's what you use to seduce Vi" just to make Cait feel uncomfortable but nothing more aggressive than this.
Even still, being naked, possibly mocked and being forced to dress at gun point is already traumatic enough.
3. We don't know what happened when Cait was being held hostage by Jinx. If Jinx used some help to bring Cait to Zaun, which I think she did, she prob off them once they got where she wanted. And if this happened Cait prob saw these murder.
Anyway this is all hc but what we know, bc ain't hard to deduct, is that Jinx played mind games with Cait. Drawing a smile in her gag, maybe invading her personal space by acting the same way she acted around Silco and Sevika - being all touchy and over the place. And maybe saying things like "you will die today" "she will choose me"
Which again, is traumatic enough.
And if she just knocked her out and dressed the unconscious Cait, imagine being Caitlyn: One moment you're out of bath, saw Jinx and boom, you're out and when you wake up you're dressed and helpless, tied to a chair.
I would be terrified by the idea of what happened when I was out. Jinx could have done nothing but cover her body, but Cait doesn't know this. She doesn't know what Jinx did and if someone else saw her like that.
4. The "Family Dinner" scene.
Caitlyn was there with Silco before Vi's came. So I think the fact that she was sitting next to the most dangerous man in the under city, was something that brought shivers into her spine, even tho he was in the same position as her. If somehow he gets free or Jinx changes his mind about what she would do to him, she would be gone.
Vi came, brought by Jinx and the emotional torture begin. Sure, Cait and Vi were already in love but Jinx was Vi's sister, the one she already knew Vi loved deeply and would do anything to have it back so she was probably scared that Vi would play into Jinx game and choose her sister. Something that didn't happen and is the reason why Caitlyn didn't shoot Jinx when she gets the chance.
Vi saved her life by putting her own on the line, Vi proved she loved Caitlyn right there (even without knowing it). And Caitlyn proved she loved Vi when she didn't shoot the Jinx (again, even without knowing it)
And all that, all those strong feelings and traumatic events were crushed because of the even more traumatic event that was Caitlyn's mom dying because of Jinx's attack.
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biggest-vi-defender · 1 month ago
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arcane S2 act 2 spoilers
okay but let’s talk about the parallel of vi beginning to trust her sister again in ep. 5, and then her choosing to trust caitlyn in ep. 6, and how it revolves around vander.
at the beginning of ep. 5, the trust & relationship between vi and jinx isn’t completely gone, but it is shaky, and it needs to be rebuilt, re-earned.
in S2, jinx is the one who tries to mend their damaged relationship first, which is an incredibly satisfying parallel/foil to S1, which was when vi was the one repeatedly attempting to reach out to jinx.
and it’s somewhat successful, successful enough for vi to agree to follow jinx into the tunnels, albeit she obviously doesn’t trust her— you can see it in the way she refuses to walk first/ahead of jinx, the constant skepticism and irritation on her face, all of it. she isn’t trying to make any conversation or really bond in that moment in the slightest.
and jinx not only accepts this, she seems very understanding, in fact. like she completely understands that vi doesn’t trust her, and she’s willing to not only be okay with that for now, but she’s also going to continue to try to build that trust and that relationship again.
not only is she doing this for vander, but she’s doing it for herself and for vi just as much— her family. the one she feels responsible for breaking in the first place (and even more so, vi also feels guilty for everything in the first place as well).
and you can see as their trust begins to subtlety grow, to the point where vi is facing off against the monstrous beast that jinx is saying is her father, and jinx gives her one more desperate cry of “vi, you HAVE to believe me.”
and she does. she puts the gauntlets down, and she decides to believe in her sister, to put that faith in her. the genuine faith and acknowledgement that jinx has been trying to prove in the first place.
and look where it leads… it leads to them getting their beloved dad back, their family back, and each other back— and ofc it’s very different, and with a new addition, but that love is still the very same. that embrace meant everything to and for them.
and then in ep. 6, vi meets caitlyn again, and while they aren’t how they used to be before the events of ep. 3, there is obv still that lingering sense of attraction, of care for one another. even more so, they both seem aware of it.
you can tell, based on the way vi refers to caitlyn as “cupcake” again, and how caitlyn puts her arm out in front of vi in order to prevent her from walking out & being seen by ambessa and the noxus army (which is a protective gesture that vi also did towards caitlyn in S1, might i add 👀).
and when caitlyn chooses to be honest w vi abt why she’s here— hunting down warwick— vi hesitates for a moment before choosing to put her faith in caitlyn, telling her the truth in response as well.
because, as i said before, vi managed to put so much trust in jinx throughout events of ep. 5, and look what that got her: her sister back, her family back, changed but still beautiful, still loving. she finally has what she has yearned for so, so badly for YEARS once again in the palm of her hand.
and i think that she’s thinking maybe, just maybe, she can put some of that trust in caitlyn again. i think this also ties back to when vi compared caitlyn to jinx. if that comparison still exists in her mind, and jinx is actively changing for the better and now apart of her life again… then maybe caitlyn can and will, too.
and she did. :)
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pepelepieuu · 2 months ago
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"Not like my parents" Legacy Challenge
A fun sims challenge for those that want to play around with different packs and also have sims babies that grow up "not like my parents".
Basic Rules:
Try to use minimal cheats
You can live anywhere unless otherwise specified
Generation one: Gothic
Think a vibe like the Addams family - A sim that is gothic and is obsessed with everything to do with death and the supernatural. This sim also has a passion for music and collects tarot cards in their spare time.
Traits: gloomy, music lover, macabre
Aspiration: occult aspiration of your choosing OR ghost historian
Career: Undertaker Career or the Reaper Profession
Fave colour: black
Rules:
Master undertaker career or Reaper Profession 
Complete occult aspiration or ghost historian 
Befriend Death (Grim Reaper)
Master a musical instrument and the thanatology skill
Collect all tarot cards
Visit The Other Side of the Veil (turn into a ghost at least once)
_____________________________________________________
Generation two: Modern Skeptic 
You grew up hating your unconventional family and leave your hometown for a different way of life. You’re a skeptic that doesn’t buy into ghosts, the Grim Reaper, or that another world exists beyond. You like facts, science, modern technology, and the REAL WORLD. You’re awkward at love and don’t settle down till later in life, focusing on your career before this. 
Traits: skeptic, genius, romantically reserved
Aspiration: Academic 
Career: Scientist
Fave colour: blue
Rules:
Master Scientist career
Complete academic aspiration
Master logic skill and gaming skill
Do not get married before you’re an adult, partner must work full-time too
Have only one child
Live in different world to one you were raised in 
—————————————————
Generation three: Conservative Country
You grew up a lonely child, your parents were always working and you had no siblings. Your biggest wish is to have a big family. You also found your parents too obsessed with technology and science, and decide to reject it all and become ultra-conservative.
You love the country and live off the land.
Traits: proper, rancher, family oriented
Aspiration: big happy family
Career: make all your money from farming
Fave colour: yellow
Rules:
Have a minimum of 10 kids
Complete big happy family aspiration
Master gardening and parenting skills
Only make money from your farm
Dress conservatively
Reject all electronics
_______________________________________________________
Generation four: Wild Child
You found your parents too restrictive and family waaaay too big. All you want is to have fun, be modern, and listen to music from a stereo. You’re the life of the party, you love dancing and going to karaoke. As a teen you’re rebellious. You don’t believe in monogamy and enjoy dating around.
Traits: party animal, outgoing, romantic
Aspiration: live fast as a teen, party animal as an adult
Career: social media
Fave colour: purple
Rules:
Have max two children
Master dancing, singing, and charisma skills
Master social media career
As a young adult live in an apartment
Date more than 3 people 
Master live fast aspiration as a teen, and party animal as an adult
___________________________________________________
Generation five: Looking for Peace
You found your mother was distant and self-absorbed. She was always going to parties or hosting parties. You just want to have peace and quiet. Be alone and enjoy nature. You also found animals understood you better. 
Traits: vegetarian, loves outdoors, animal enthusiast
Aspiration: country caretaker or freelance botanist
Career: conservationist
Fave colour: green
Rules:
Master conservationist career
Master gardening and flower arranging skill
Master country caretaker or freelance botanist aspiration
Live near nature and only go on camping holidays
Renounce inheritance, and live in basic house with basic clothes
____________________________________________________
Generation six: Materialistic 
You grew up poor, and camped a lot. You found your parents were crazy about nature, and there were always animals in your house. You dream of having money, nice things and being indoors with all its luxuries. You’re passionate about fashion and physical looks, as you grew up dressed always in the same thing.
Traits: materialistic, snob, neat or practice makes perfect
Aspiration: mansion baron or fabulously wealthy
Career: style influencer
Fave colour: gold
Rules:
Master style influencer career
Master mansion baron or fabulously wealthy aspiration
Master fitness skill
Have multiple outfit options
Marry a rich sim
Do not inherit any money
______________________________________________________
Generation seven: Flower Child
Your parents were way too materialistic and obsessed with money. You found it shallow (though you do keep your inheritance). You seek deep connection and a deeper meaning of life. You’re a bit of a hippie, and want to share your musings of life with the world.
Traits: freegan, creative, generous 
Aspiration: zen guru
Career: painter
Fave colour: rainbow
Rules:
Master zen guru aspiration
Master painter career
Master guitar and painting skills
Have permissive family dynamics with your kids
Live near the beach
Keep inheritance
______________________________________________________
Generation eight: Adrenaline Junkie
You found things were relaxing as a kid but you seek adventure! You’re an adrenaline junkie who couldn't keep still as a kid. You didn't want to stay inside meditating, and you value actions over words.
Traits: adventurous, active, self-assured
Aspiration: extreme sport enthusiast
Career: astronaut
Fave colour: orange
Rules:
Master extreme sport enthusiast aspiration
Master astronaut career
Master fitness and handiness skills
Visit Planet Sixam
———-----------------------------------------------------------
Generation nine: Overachiever
You really admired your parents and their zest for life. You want to live up to their expectations and are a bit of an overachiever. You want a “perfect nuclear family”, married with 2 kids who work just as hard as you. You let off steam through vlogging, and imagining how your parent travelled into space. You're a little bit awkward, but mean well.
Eventually, you become burnt out from trying so hard and become a professional vlogger in your adult life. 
Traits: overachiever, socially awkward, perfectionist
Aspiration: super parent
Career: doctor, then simfluencer or video game streamer
Fave colour: white
Rules:
Master super parent aspiration
Have two children
For most of life live in a classic suburban house
Doctor career until adulthood then change to simfluencer or video game streamer
Master painting and media production skills
________________________________________________________
Generation ten: Fabulously Famous
You’re the opposite of a geek. Your parents wanted you to follow in their footsteps but you never enjoyed maths or science. You never did well at school, all you enjoyed doing was performing. You're a charismatic sim who loves being the centre of attention. Your flirty nature means you love to date around. In your spare time you enjoy gourmet cooking.
Traits: romantic, self-absorbed, hot-headed
Aspiration: World-famous celebrity or musical genius
Career: actor or entertainer
Fave colour: red
Rules:
Master world-famous celebrity aspiration or musical genius aspiration
Master actor or entertainer career
Master acting (or instrument) and gourmet cooking skills
Move to Del Sol Valley
________________________________________________________
Generation 11: Full Circle
You felt your parents were out of touch with the world and their roots. You’re into family history and learn the first of your long line were sims obsessed with death. You enjoy visiting the family graves, respecting your ancestors, and writing about your family history. Though your ancestors were obsessed with death, you love love. You have so much love to give and want to share it with the world! 
Traits: love bug, cheerful, family-oriented
Aspiration: serial romantic aspiration
Career: romance consultant
Fave colour: pink
Rules:
Master romance consultant 
Master serial romantic aspiration
Visit the graves of your ancestors and interact with ancestors who are now ghosts
Max romance and writing skill
Choose one of the 11 generations to be reborn
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lou-struck · 2 years ago
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Operation: Stay Away Cupid
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Obey Me Brothers and Datables x reader
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
With Valentines Day Approaching in the Devildom, Solomon decides to play a little prank on others, with an oblivious you in the middle of it.
a/n: I wanted to do a little background before posting the little blurbs.
Introduction:
Solomon knows that all eyes are on him right now; 
"What is it, Solomon?" Diavolo asks, the friendly smile on his face making him feel almost bad enough to not go through with this little prank of his.
Using the poker face it had taken him, hundreds of years to perfect, he glances slowly around the room and takes a deep breath for suspense. "Valentine's day is fast approaching, so I need to warn you all about the danger Mc is in." At the mention of you being in any sort of danger, everyone sits up a bit straighter and stares at the Sorcerer intently.
"Oi, what do you mean MC is in danger?" Mammon yells, springing from his seat.
"Sit down, Mammon," his elder brother practically growls, yanking him into his seat by the hem of his jacket.
The crowd is silent and waiting expectantly for Solomon to continue. 
He grabs the back end of a podium tightly; if his little prank of his is to work, he needs to make sure that no one in this room has ever heard of the little tale he has spun. 
"In the human world, there is a creature that appears on Valentine's Day. Its sole purpose is to go around and shoot people with magic arrows to make them fall in love. But this creature is mischievous and likes to make people fall in love with the wrong sort of people."
"What exactly do you mean by the wrong sort of people?" the Demon Lord asks. 
Solomon lets his features fall as he meets the Prince's eye. "Someone who would mistreat them, Cupid thinks it's funny to see how humans come crawling back to someone who isn't worthy of their love.
Barbados furrows his brow, "A Cupid? I don't think I have ever seen one before."
Ignoring the butler's statement, he continues his lesson. "They also do not like it when someone has too many suitors to choose from." He adds, giving the group a once-over. With a wave of his hand, stacks of research materials magically appear in the laps of his audience of growingly angry angels and demons, who stare at the piles of cheesy Valentine's Day cards and short stories.
Fire blazes in Satan's green eyes as he speaks, "And that would be us, wouldn't it? "
'This little prank is going well.' Solomon thinks to himself as everyone is beginning to understand why their sweet human is being targeted.
"It would," he says solemnly, shaking his head. "Sometimes Cupid can get a bit jealous; I believe the reason why they are being targeted is that the creature wants Mc to be forced to fall in love with it instead."
"That kind of magic exists?" Simeon mumbles, staring at the image of the white-winged baby intently. "I never thought something that looks as innocent as this could be capable of such unthinkable deeds."
"So, if Mc gets hit with one of these Arrows, they won't love me anymore?" Asmodeus asks, his peach-colored eyes turning glassy at the thought.
"Should we tell them?" Beel asks softly; the snack he has been munching on now sits discarded next to him.
Before the Sorcerer can even open his mouth to object, he is cut off by Lucifer. "Absolutely not; if we tell them, they could get scared. Let's focus on keeping this beast away from them."
"Well, what are we supposed to do about this, huh?" Mammon says, staring at the other human exactly.
"Obviously, we are going to protect them," Levi mumbles finally.
The Sorcerer snaps his fingers, "That. Is exactly what we are going to do. So if any of us are out with them later, they'll have to protect them.
"Won't we be affected if we get hit by the arrows?" The youngest brother asks, clutching his large pillow with a vice-like grip.
Being prepared for this question, the Sorcerer shakes his head. "No, none of us are human enough to be affected by the magic."
He gives them each a conversation heart from the box he picked up at a Human world grocery store. "Take this; It will help you see through its magic and spot the signs that it's near; I wrote down a few other things to look out for," Solomon says, eating one of the candied hearts as everyone else does the same.
"So what now?" Mammon asks, swallowing the candy whole.
Solomon grins and clasps his hands together. "Now that that's settled let Operation Stay Away Cupid Commence."
~ How will everyone handle protecting you from Cupid's Nonexistent Arrows? Parts 2-4 to come!
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dark-frosted-heart · 4 months ago
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Choose Your True Love - Azel Radwan (part 2/4)
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This is the from the 4th anniversary event
As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. 
Azel (polite): We have 1, 2…3, 4 risk-takers here…Tonight will be a fun night, won’t it?
(Prince Azel?!)
Standing before the large moon, he was cloaked in a holy aura far different from the usual malicious god.
His mysterious presence nearly brought me, an acquaintance, to my knees. The domineering men prostrated in the sand, showing respect.
Ruffian: Living God, we were only going to escort this lost woman back to the city—
Azel (polite): Are you sure? You are making such false confessions so shamelessly. The details of what happened to people who had incurred God’s wrath and received divine punishment have been passed down as legends. However, I am a benevolent god, so I will overlook this one mistake. So—what were you trying to tell me?
Ruffian: ……Our apologies.
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Azel (polite): I believe you are apologizing to the wrong person.
Ruffian: Our apologies…miss.
Emma: It’s fine…
(...They’re all trembling)
It wasn’t like Prince Azel wanted to kill them.
There wasn’t even a hint of anger in his words.
Still, the tension was so oppressive that it felt as if a single divine command would erase not just their life, but their whole existence.
Azel (polite): You were about to lay your hands on God’s property. And my policy is to not show compassion to scoundrels who lay their hands on my property. In any case, God’s punishment will come. Be it tomorrow, or the day after, only I know.
There were no objections from the men.
It appeared they understood that they shouldn’t do this sort of thing to the Living God.
Azel (polite): Live piously while trembling in fear. So as to not incur more of God’s wrath.
Prince Azel wrapped an arm around my waist, but as if he remembered something, let go and quickly walked away.
He seemed to be heading toward the city, not the temple.
(...I’ll follow him)
I ran after Prince Azel’s retreating figure.
Now far from the men, I turned my head and saw that they still haven’t looked up.
When the city lights drew closer, Prince Azel finally stopped.
When our eyes met, God’s smile faded.
Azel: Why aren’t you carrying that with you?
Emma: “That”?
Azel: …You don’t have it on you?
Emma: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Prince Azel held his head and sighed.
Azel: That’s right. I wasn’t interested in you at this time.
Emma: …? Setting whatever you’re talking about aside, thank you very much for saving me earlier. I didn’t think you would save me like that… Prayers really do reach God.
Azel: It’s nice to see you’re in a good mood.
I ran after him when he walked away again.
Emma: Are you heading to the city?
Azel: Don’t you want to go home?
Emma: Pardon me for asking, but are you escorting me back?
(That refreshing indifference Prince Azel has toward others…)
Azel: Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m just taking a walk.
Emma: Of course you are. …But you’ve never gone for a walk to the city, have you? The reason why I run errands for you in the first place is because you can’t freely walk around the city—
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Azel: Are you complaining about what a god’s doing?
A scowling Prince Azel came closer and pinched my cheek.
Emma: I’m sowwy.
Azel: As long as you understand. Look, when I said “a walk”, I meant it. Distrust’s blasphemous.
I nodded and the fingers tormenting my cheek left.
I followed after the footprints left by his long legs, trying not to fall behind.
(Huh? Even when I’m walking as hard as I can, I usually can’t catch up with him. But today, the distance between us isn’t as wide)
(Is Prince Azel matching my pace…? There’s no way)
--
Emma: …Prince Azel, how far are you going to walk for?
Azel (polite): Until I’m satisfied.
Now that he was surrounded by people, he suddenly switched to being polite.
Prince Azel’s sudden appearance startled people passing by.
Usually there’s advanced notice before Prince Azel visits court.
People needed to mentally prepare themselves before their living god appeared, so with his sudden appearance in the middle of the night, a wave of commotion gradually spread.
(Prince Azel didn’t go near the castle because he knew this would happen…)
(Everything really is weird)
(This Prince Azel looks like the one I knew, but it’s as if he’s been completely replaced…At least that’s how it feels)
Azel (polite): …Living in the castle is inconvenient, isn’t it?
It was like Prince Azel didn’t care about the racket around us as he glanced at me.
Emma: Y-yes…As your guest, I’ve always been treated with the highest courtesy.
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Azel (polite): That is good to hear. Should you experience any form of displeasure, please let me know. Being disrespectful to my guest means being disrespectful to me.
Prince Azel’s voice was loud enough for everyone around us to hear, making them nervous.
(This concern he had for me was giving me the creeps)
(Just what in the world are you thinking, Prince Azel)
--
Emma: —Wait, why did you follow me into my room?!
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gynnnicsworld · 4 months ago
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Does Derek prefer to believe Scott over Stiles? Is stiles and lydia connection in season 3 really as strong as many say? Stick around for us to talk about it!
I really don't want to offend anyone, I just want to open a kind of conversation with people willing to discuss with arguments and reflect in a respectful manner.
You know, I was in some kind of "debate" with some people online, and These people really didn't know how to dialogue calmly.
But they helped me to reflect and want to find people who know what they are talking about.
Let's start with the first topic:
Does Derek prefer to believe Scott over Stiles?
Context: This question was raised in the situation of Donovan's death at the 'hands' of Stiles, many said that without a doubt Derek would be on Scott's side because to begin with Derek comes back again and again for Scott when he needs him. And that Scott is like a brother to Derek and that Stiles is simply Scott's 2x1, but in a situation like that of Donovan and Stiles, Derek would undoubtedly choose to believe Scott.
While I argued that Derek would definitely go to Stiles to find out 'the truth', and I say 'truth' like that because I argued Derek has ALWAYS sought out Stiles for answers and in moments where he doesn't know what's true and what's not, trusting 100% in what Stiles tells him.
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credits GIF: Colethewolf
I also recognize that at some point along the way, Derek began to consider Scott as a brother or something like that, and I do NOT detract from the connection that exists between Scott and Der, but despite this, I completely believe that Derek would support Stiles, in addition to the fact that Der does not see everything in black and white like Scott does, because Der's personality is that of someone who knows that the world, like people and situations, are gray.
Plus, we all know that Stiles is literally Derek's anchor and Derek goes to him for help whenever he needs it.
Second topic: Is Lydia and Stiles' connection as strong as many say in season 3?
Context:
This question is about whether Lydia is the right "anchor" at that time for Stiles to bring him back from the ritual. Some people say that Lydia was already in love with Stiles at that point, and that their connection was special and that Stiles' ajar door was already like that before the ice bath and that it has nothing to do with Lydia and their connection.
And here I do not mean to offend anyone or start any ship wars, no, here I said "At that time the relationship between Stiles and Lyds was not deep enough, at that time Lydia had just begun to consider Stiles a friend, but the friendship between Lydia and Stiles was not at the level that Lydia and Allison was at that time, so I consider that was not the best option for Stiles. Unlike Scott and Deaton who have a father-son type connection. While Ali feels romantically attracted to Isaac and vice versa.
I mean, I love the friendship between Lyds and Stiles, to me they are the smart badass duo, I deeply love the connection they have, to me Lydia and Stiles are the only ones (with the exception of Peter, because we have to be honest, that guy is really smart) who can follow each other's level of thinking/intelligence, and truly getting a connection with someone like that is quite difficult so I understand that both of them feel mutually understood by each other. And I think that's essentially where that special connection they have, they are the brains of the pack, thanks to them most of it is still alive.
But having said all that, I still think that the connection between Lyds and Stiles at that point wasn't deep enough yet and it wasn't the right choice.
Please leave your opinions <3 and thank you
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woncherie · 2 years ago
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hello <33 finally posting part 3. i hope you guys like it!! small reminder that im not a native english speaker i hope i didnt do too many mistakes..
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: afab!reader, no pronouns used, bully!scara, bullying, sub!scara, reader makes him a sub lol, nsfw, mentions of alcohol and drugs, finger sucking, spit play, thigh riding, degradation, blackmail, rimming, pegging, pictures are taken, usage of ma'am a few times, he sucks our dick!! light spanking (please tell me if I missed something)
wc: 4.9k
part 1 / part 2 / part 3
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lab reports were handed in in time, protocols werent your problem anymore and you got good grades on papers that you didnt even take a look at. things really changed after the party a few months ago.
you didnt get thrown at with food anymore, no one was there to trip you, your property wasnt destroyed anymore. its as if he completely forgot about your existence. at this point you dont even know if he remembers your face anymore, you havent seen your favourite bully in weeks other than on hallways, but even there he was very quick to choose another path to not see your face.
its been a month since the incidence in the library, and nothing else happened between you. how could anything have happened? he doesnt even look at you anymore.
at first you enjoyed your peace. people started talking to you more, you went to more partys and hangouts and met new people, but after two weeks of silence from scaramouche, you started getting a bit tense too.
you didnt expect him to actually leave you alone. you thought he would be putting up more of a fight than just puss out like a small kid, and no matter how hard it was to admit.. you kinda missed him.
at one point you got so annoyed with his behaviour that you even tried to meet him yourself, bumping into him in the hallway to start a conversation, but all he did was apologize half-assed and then go back on his way, not even taking a glimpse of your face or outfit (which he used to love to make fun of).
you were fed up with him. you cannot believe that after everything that happened between the two of you he can just act like nothing happened, going on with his life without even thinking about you. him ignoring you made you even more mad than when he gave you too much attention.
it was hard to admit, but the indigo haired man never left your thoughts. it wasnt like you two actively talked before, but now all you did was wonder. about him, about how his day was, what he did, how he is feeling.
the irritation was written all over your face, and all that albedo could do was watch from the sidelines. you still didnt tell him what happened, at this point you were so far into this shit you dont even know how to explain anything.
"is everything alright?" he said after a few days, laying on his tummy on the floor of your apartment, your organic chemistry book in front of him, but instead of studying he just put his head on it, using it as a pillow.
"what should be wrong?" you mumbled, scrolling through instagram right next to him on your carpet. your head was at his feet and his at yours, taking a look over to him when he spoke up.
you two ordered some take out and waited impatiently on the delivery before going back to studying. exams were getting closer again.
"you seem to be lost in thoughts the past few three weeks. is everything right between scaramouche and you?" he asked while checking the time on his watch.
"yeah, what should be wr- wait what." your heart dropped for a second and you threw your phone away, sitting up straight. "how did you-" you started.
"oh c'mon." he answered and rolled his eyes. "respect my intelligence. it doesnt take a genius to understand that at least something happened between the two of you."
you looked at him with wide eyes, shame and guilt being written all over your face. "how..??"
"just look at you two and how you act around each other. you two are practically undressing each other with your eyes during the lectures."
you hid your face in the palm of your hands, embarrassed at the whole situation. "i am so so sorry. i shouldve told you." you apologized. "i was just.. scared about your reaction?"
"you should be." he returned, sitting up slowly before looking at you. "i have a lot of things to say about that special relationship. but maybe you should explain what happened before." he gave you the opportunity to explain.
you threw yourself at albedo and hugged him tightly. "oh my god, i need to tell you so much that happened. ok so remember ittos party.."
scaramouche was currently laying in bed, another random women naked next to him. he tried everything, he tried everything, to forget you.
your ugly face followed him in his darkest dreams, your annoying character was running around in his head all the time, and he even caught himself daydreaming about the two of you every once in a while. all the time.
but absolutely nothing was helping him. he thought maybe he just needed to get laid again, to have any random chick pleasure him for the night and he would get back to be his old self, that he was just thinking with his dick the past few weeks, but no. even after sleeping with multiple women who werent even good to begin with, he couldnt get you out of his head.
he was frustrated, so fucking annoyed, that he let it out on everyone who is somewhat close to him. his friends were trying to figure out what or who made him so miserable, but he doesnt talk to anyone of them.
instead of approaching you and talking it out he decided it would be the better idea to just party, smoke and drink his feelings away. after a few days he would forget you and what happened. but thats what he told himself for weeks now.
the women next to him came closer, trying to touch his chest, but he just hissed at her. "do me a favour and fuck off." he didnt even know her name. he didnt care enough to ask. he couldnt even describe what she looked like.
"h..huh?" he heard her gasp next to him, feeling a bit betrayed by his behaviour right now. "did i do someth-"
"fuck off i said." he groaned, using his arm to place it over his eyes. he just hoped that she would leave as quickly as she came, letting him pity himself in peace without anyone chewing his ear off or them expecting that he cares about them.
he didnt care about anyone of them, fuck, he doesnt even know their names, the only name in his head was yours. and he was sick of it.
the girl stood up and grabbed her clothes, leaving the room as she put them on again, and scaramouche let out a deep groan when he heard the front door closing. fucking finally.
he turned around in his bed, laying on his stomach and checking his phone. he was hoping that maybe you would text him again, but you didnt.
he took his pillow and threw it over his head, trying to burry himself in his bed, trying to burry these feelings.
what were you doing right now? were you together with your ugly blonde friend again?
just thinking about albedo makes him wanna throw a few punches around the room. he never cared about that nerd anyway, his victim always being you, but right now? he's exploding just thinking that you spend your precious time with albedo than rather messaging him, or talking to him.
what did you even see in him? he's fucking boring, head constantly hiding between a few books. he probably doesnt even have a personality to begin with.
were you sleeping with him?
after all the things you did to scaramouche, he wouldnt be doubting that you maybe also fucked around with your best friend. the thought of it made him jump out of his bed, throwing his pillow against a wall before heading to the shower.
he was so lovesick, he couldnt even admit how jealous he was. fuck, he misses you. he misses you so much that he set his mind to visit you after showering, even though he tried his best to ignore you. he couldnt do that anymore.
you were laying on your bed, your books and tablet scattered around you. you tried to concentrate on your studies, on how you felt before you started to fuck around with scaramouche, but you only sighed frustratedly. albedo was right. this was all a big mistake.
albedo left some hours ago, giving you some space for yourself to think about the whole situation, but you instead chose to study and ignore the aching pain in your chest.
albedo gave you a whole lecture on how stupid you were, on how you're gonna get your feelings hurt and mind destroyed by scaramouche, and you knew he was right, you really did, but you couldnt help but feel the way you feel right now.
your train of thoughts got interrupted as someone started banging against your door furiously, and you stood up in surprise and hurried to the door, not checking who it was before opening it.
in front of you stood your favourite indigo eyed man, hair messy and very obviously annoyed and irritated. he didnt even ask or say anything, just pushed you away to enter your apartment.
you were surprised to see him here, after ignoring you for weeks and getting out of your way on purpose when it always used to be the other way around.
"i fucking hate you!" he shouted in your face, pacing around in your apartment, trying to find any words.
"chill out for a second, handsome, how did you find my address?" you asked him, closing the door behind him after scaramouche entered your comfy 25 m².
he just rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. "ask me something more difficult next time." he quoted his old text messages.
"the fuck you want here anyway?" you answered him annoyed but also somewhat adrenalized. this is the first time you talked again after like 2 weeks? 3 weeks? you couldnt even remember yourself.
"you! i fucking hate you." he yelled again, coming closer to you before using his arms to push you around a bit, getting physical with you. you stumbled a few steps back but caught yourself in time before landing on your ass.
"you just show up in my life and turn everything around without even thinking about me!" he cried out, his own hands finding its way in his hands and pulling on his own hair. "the past few weeks i tried everything to forget you, to forget the way you make me feel, but.. i just cant."
you raised your eyebrows in shock, not expecting a confession like this when he first entered your home furiously. "what do you mean?"
"FUCK. i mean that i cant stop thinking about you. i cant stop thinking about how you touch me. you ruined me for everyone else. no one compares to how you make me feel, and i hate you so much for this." he paced around your small room again, his eyes moving around from you to the floor and to you again, arms moving around everywhere.
he was stressed as hell, and he didnt know why he was here, in front of you, digging his own grave, but there he is, embarrassing himself to his bones.
and all you did was stand in front of him, looking at him with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like a fish, trying to find fitting words. you couldnt explain how you were feeling right now, you just knew that you were incredibly happy and relieved.
"say something." scaramouche nearly begged, being frustrated with the whole situation.
he wanted things to go back to normal, to have you under him, doing anything he says without being told twice, to do all uni work and still humiliate you for funsies.
but thinking about going back to that time also hurt him, thinking about how you wouldnt talk to him more than you needed to is something he didnt want.
you slowly stepped up to him again, definitely getting closer to him and his personal space than anyone else dares to do, and you use your finger to lift his chin up, looking at him mockingly.
"now was that so hard to say?" you looked down in him. his face turned red again, trying to ignore your wandering eyes on his face, looking on the floor, eyelashes already a bit wet from shame and embarrassment.
"look at me when im talking to you." you demanded, squishing his cheeks between your fingers again and he looked up to you, breath stammering and gulping.
"is this what you want?" you raised one eyebrow mockingly, the grin on your face getting bigger and bigger.
scaramouche became frustrated with your behaviour again, too embarrassed to admit that yes, he needed this.
instead of answering, he pushed you back again, but followed you, shoving you on your own bed.
your back was pressed to the mattress and scaramouche sat down in your lap, leaning forwards before he pressed his lips on yours aggressively.
you were surprised at how eager he was, but no way would you let him lead and dominate you. this is your job.
you threw off all the books and your tablet from the bed with your arm in one swift motion, and then grabbing scaramouches waist as you change position, rolling on top of him while he is laying underneath you.
he didnt let go of the kiss, of you, his arms wrapped around your neck while your hands press down on the mattress beside each side of his head.
he let out some soft sighs and pants throughout the kiss, occasionally letting out a gasp or muffled moan.
you took the opportunity of you being on top, pressing your ass on his dick and making him moan more often now.
his hands wandered from your neck into your hair, pulling on them desperately as you suck on his tongue. god damn it, he felt fucking amazing.
you started undressing him slowly, breaking the kiss to remove his shirt, your lips on his right afterwards again before he could even take in a breath.
you didnt care though. you waited so long for him, you want to break him apart now.
you started kissing from his lips down to his jaw and neck, giving him bites and hickies all over that area. "you've been waiting for this for quite some time now, havent you?" you teased him, rocking your hips on his as you gave his collarbone special attention.
"fuck.. fuck yes." he groaned out, trying to grab your hips but you grabbed his hands immediately, pressing them down above his head.
"dont even think about this." you threaten him, and he looks at you with wide eyes. "i will not be touching you if you dont listen to me. understood?" scaramouches eyes widen in surprise, ready to whine out. he cant have you leaving him hanging once again, he needs you more than anyone else right now, so all he did was nod and look into your eyes.
"use your words." you demanded.
"y..yes."
"is that all?" you asked in a harsh tone, making him feel so much smaller than he actually is underneath you. his face got a soft pink blush around his nose and he looked away, everywhere else but in your face right now. "yes.. m..ma'am."
you could feel your pussy clench at the way he looked so embarrassed as he called you this name. you lived for embarrassing him.
"good boy." you answered and you could feel his dick twitch right through the shorts you were wearing.
you started kissing his body again, this time taking your time at his chest as you felt it heaving so cutely for you. "id love to fuck these tits." you grinned, looking up to him and seeing him hide his face inside the crook of his arm. "maybe next time."
his heart stopped beating for a second before it sped up in pace right afterwards. next time?
but before he could ask anything, you stood up from his lap, grabbing his waist once again before turning him around and pulling his pants down in one swift motion.
"H..HUH?" he asked surprised, looking back to you and seeing you eyeing his ass again. just thinking about what happened last time made his dick throb in his underwear, already being stained by precum anyway.
you were very happy with how things were right now, scaramouche underneath you and submissive, letting you use his body to your liking.
"ever got your ass pegged?" you looked up to him with a big grin, visibly ecstatic before pulling his boxers down too and touching his butt.
"n..no why the fuck should-?" but before he could finish his sentence you sinked your sharp teeth into his ass, biting him until there was evidence of your teeth on his butt.
he let out a small scream and let his head fall back into his neck, eyes closed in pleasure and pain. "i fucking hate you." he then said and you only giggled silently.
you stood up from his legs, grabbing into your nightstand to pull out your pretty pink dildo and scaramouches eyes widened in shock and lust, jumping up immediately.
"aint no way this gonna fit.." he mumbles.
"dont worry. ill make it fit." you returned, grabbing his hair and pulling him closer to your face again, pressing your lips on his harshly.
he opened his mouth instantly, welcoming your tongue in his mouth. fuck, he really cant resist your touch.
he leaned into the kiss and let out a small moan when your fingers graced his dick, playing with the tip and using his precum to make him wetter.
you let go off his lips and his dick and he let out a whine. he waited so long for this, dont stop now.
but instead of kissing him again, you leaned a bit back and pressed he colorful dildo on his lips, and he looked at you, slightly confused.
"what are you-?" he started, but you already pushed the tip of the sex toy into his mouth.
"sadly i didnt prepare any lube.. guess your spit has to make it wet now."
seeing scaramouche choke on the dildo made your heart swell in pride and joy, he really looked majestic like that. he grabbed your hand quickly, scared that you might shove it down his throat completely.
his heart was beating faster, scared of messing up. it was the first time of him sucking on a cock, he didnt want to look like a fool, he didnt want to disappoint you.
he tried to relax his throat to take the toy more in, sucking on it and looking at you through his lashes. inch for inch he took more in, putting on a small show for you.
you couldnt help but gasp a bit, pussy wet and aching for him. but you had to hold back, this was about him and his pleasure now.
"see, so you can be a good boy for me without throwing a tantrum. no need to be so bratty all the time.~" you teased him and he tried to look at you angrily, the toy in his mouth ruining it a bit for him.
you were still in your clothes which bothered both you and him, so you let go of the dildo in your hand, but scaramouche held it firmly anyway.
you quickly got rid of your shirt and shorts, sitting in front of him in your underwear while he was completely naked. when scaramouche saw your body in front of him, so close, he let go of the sex toy in his mouth and instead stared at you, biting his lip, trying to hide the faint blush on his face. he thought that you looked stunning.
you took the dildo out of his hand and kissed him again, pressing him onto his back while he leaned into the kiss, hands grabbing into your hair.
while kissing him you grabbed into your nightstand again, this time pulling out a bottle of lube.
scaramouche opened his eyes at the noise and let go of you when he saw the bottle. "wait what?? didnt you say you dont have any?" he bickered around and you laughed silently. "of course i have lube. i just wanted to see you suck on my dick." you teased him once again.
"you fucking bitch." he returned, visibly angry and embarrassed again, hiding half his face with his hand.
"oh c'mon, you looked really stunning. the show you put on made me nearly loose my control." you said as you kissed his jaw and neck downwards to his chest and tummy, getting dangerously close to his dick, which was still standing and throbbing regularly.
"cute. how can you satisfy anyone with this small cute dick?" you bullied him and he turned his face away in shame. "fuck off." was all he said, ready to shove his foot up your face but you only giggled and pressed a kiss on the inside of his tender thigh.
you heard him let out a small whimper, back finally relaxing against your pillows as he closed his eyes. you just smiled against his thigh and pressed down a few more kisses on them before taking the bottle of lube, opening it and using it on your fingers.
you grabbed the insides of scaramouches knees and pressed them up to his hands, signaling him to hold them.
it was embarrassing for him, but he didnt care anymore. he just wanted you on top of him, destroying him completely, so he held his legs and spread them, being completely naked and open for you. "good boy.." you mumbled as your fingers started rubbing on his anus, making him shudder at the cold feeling.
"we need a safeword." you said, looking up to his face and he opened his eyes in frustration. he thought you would finally fuck him properly.
"safeword?"
"yeah.. in case you dont like it anymore." you explained it.
"i know what a safeword is you dumb fuck." he said angrily, and you gave him a slap on his dick, making him moan out in pain and pleasure, arching his back and shoving his butt closer to you.
"dont get too comfy now." you said, and he looked at you apologetically.
"fuck just choose anything! i dont care."
you took his dick into your hand, stroking him a few times and watching him mewl in pleasure.
"coconut?" you asked.
"y..yeah yeah whatever" he said, enjoying the pleasure that you were giving him right now.
you took your lube smeared fingers and slowly inserted one inside of him while watching his face and facial features.
his eyelids fluttered and he bit his lip, grabbing the bedsheets as he tried to get used to the unknown feeling. you didnt move your finger yet, waiting for his consent.
he slowly opened his eyes and gave you a nod, signaling you to move your finger, so you did. you kissed him on the lips again, trying to make him ignore the initial pain in his butt.
he wrapped his arms around your body again, kissing you a bit sloppily as he moans into the kiss, moving back onto your fingers.
after a few minutes you heard him mumble against your lips. "m..more" he said before pressing his lips on yours again. you took the invitation to slowly insert a second finger into him and you felt him flinch and whimper against your lips. you let go off the kiss too look at him, but he pulled you back down again, not wanting to let go of the kiss.
you moved your fingers and he whimpered against your lips, biting down on your underlip. man, you really wanted to ravish him, but you had to hold yourself back a little more, for him.
you started scissoring your fingers and scaramouche started enjoying it a bit more, all kinds of moans and groans leaving his mouth. "f..fuck this feels so.." he started, but got lost in pleasure, losing his train of thought once again.
after a few more seconds you pulled out of him, making him shudder underneath you, opening his eyes slightly to look at you. "just do it now." he started bothering you again and you gave him a slap on his thigh. "shut up."
you grabbed underneath the bed and pulled out your strap on, making his face heat up slightly, but you only smiled at his reaction and put it on.
you’d never ever felt this way around anyone before - you could feel your panties growing more soaked by the second from anticipation. but it really wasnt about you right now, it was about him.
scaramouche really didnt expect to be fucked senseless when he made his way over to your home, and yet, his mouth was dry and his face was hot with embarrassment? fear? neediness? he didnt know. all he knew was that he wanted this feeling gone and your body on top of him.
scaramouche sighed happily when he felt the toy slowly, very slowly gliding into him, head falling back as he winced at the initial pain. you paused for a moment, letting him get used to the feeling.
after a few seconds he nodded again, signaling you to push in deeper. he groaned as you pushed in further, the size of you causing a burning sensation, even despite the lube and preparation earlier.
you pressed light kisses around his forehead, cheeks, jaw, neck, trying to calm him down.
he breathed heavily as you pushed in more, more, more, filling him up deliciously before bottoming out inside of him. scaramouche felt like his whole skin was burning hot, tears pricking in his eyes as he grabbed your arms, pulling you down to him and pressing your body on his as he wrapped his arms around your body.
you pushed your hips back towards his, rolling your hips in a slow pace as his body twitched underneath you.
"fu.. fuck i hate you so much." he reminded you again and you laughed in a low tone, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. "want me to stop?" you asked and he locked his legs behind your back, taking up your space to move away.
"no!!" he gasped as you continued to pound into him, head thrown back into the pillows as moans, grunts, your name and even a few ma'ams leave his lips continuously. a very visible bulge appearing on his stomach made him gasp out, tears leaving his eyes and smearing all over his face. "dont stop, fuck, please dont stop.." he moaned out loudly.
"i should stop." you continued to tease him. "after all these months of you destroying my life, it really should be fair if i leave you hanging." you grabbed the inside of his knees, pressing them to his chest and putting him into a mating press. "you deserve this."
scaramouches mouth was left open, tongue hanging out and drool leaving his mouth. he was completely gone, trying his hardest to concentrate on what to say. "s..so-sorry. im so sorry fuck im sorry" he slurred out, trying his hardest to not come too quickly.
"is this how your mother taught you to apologize?" you grunted, slapping his thigh and ass hard, making him mewl out.
"fuuck I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have put through you all tha-fuckk." he moaned out, looking down to where your and his body connected.
"I will stop I will stop I promise I won't bother you anymore just please..make me cum." hearing him choke on his own words made your chest fill with pride. you finally broke him.
his hands tried to hold anything of you, grabbing your bra that you still wore and opening it, throwing it away, his eyes all over your chest now, watching the way they bounce while you fuck him hard.
he was fucked out and you barely even started, using his body as a mere fleshlight for your toy, teeth gritting as he felt a familiar sensation build up in his stomach as the toy continuously pushed against his prostate, making him see stars through the tears in his eyes.
"cu- cumming. fuck im so closesoclosesoclose" he slurred out, completely drunk on pleasure.
"eyes on me." you demanded, and he looked up from your chest to your eyes. "want you to look at me as you come." you continued, and scaramouches heart skipped a beat. fuck. you really wrapped him around your finger.
you took your hand and grabbed his penis, playing and stroking him a bit to increase the pleasure, sending him off the edge as he came all over his body and your hand. you took a few seconds to fuck him through his orgasm before slowly standing still, only both of your heavy breathings heard in the apartment.
you smeared the cum that was left on your hand on his chest and stomach, painting him full with it as you teased him again, his body still shaking and spasming underneath you.
"fuck, i could do this all day." you said and he bit his lips at the thought of that.
"not gonna take any pictures this time?" he asked and you grabbed the polaroid camera on your nightstand.
"oh you bet i will."
☆☆☆
HELLOO <33 this is gonna be the last part i dont think i have much to add to the story anymore.. i hope you all enjoyed it and thank you so much for hyping me up the past 2 weeks <3 it really meant a lot, you guys made my days and nights.
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