#platonic ThVi

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

What if Virgil and Thomas's anxiety was like a tug of war? Like if Thomas is feeling anxious some of Virgil's anxiety is pushed onto him and Virgil feels calmer, but if Thomas calms down the fear is pushed back onto Virgil so he's feeling it instead

[sleepyvirgilprompts]

Virgil and Thomas are both exhausted, and neither can remember who talked the other into this, but either way Thomas has temporarily retracted himself from obligations and human interaction and he and Virgil are curled up together on the edge of sleep, finally managing at least to an extent to relax.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

You Had to Be There to Get It

Summay: Thomas knows that he sometimes relates to different sides for different reasons, but this situation is a new one.

...

Fine, Thomas would admit it.  Therapy was a good idea that he definitely should have tried sooner.  Sure, it was uncomfortable at first, when they were getting to know each other, but Emile was an excellent choice and Thomas clicked with him really well, and he started realizing some things as they talked.

He probably was too hard on himself, for one.  He needed to sit and let himself be sometimes instead of constantly trying to be the best person he possibly could.  He definitely had some issues with trying to make creative ideas too perfect and good and pure (Thomas could still feel Roman’s cathartic ache from that realization, and Remus’ vindication).  He was really bad at not knowing, and sometimes he had to sit in the uncertainty (Logan hadn’t liked that one, but he’d felt Patton’s relief).  And a recent realization as to how much growing up where and how he did had actually affected him.  Turns out being a gay catholic kid growing up in Florida in the 90s can have a tendency to make a kid feel a bit unwanted.  Who knew?

Thomas had a feeling he was going to be unpacking his feelings around that one for a while, especially considering it even started in a surprising place.

“I don’t understand,” Logan said as they walked back into Thomas’ apartment.  He had been talking about it the entire way home, and Thomas honestly didn’t quite understand why.  He thought the issue had been pretty settled in therapy, and for once, he didn’t quite get where Logan was coming from.

“That time of your life was so long ago,” Logan said.  “You have supportive friends and family now, you have a relatively stable career, you’re comfortable with who you are.  Why would that still be having such an impact on you?”

“It’s childhood, Lo,” Virgil mumbled, though for some reason he wasn’t meeting Logan’s eyes.  “It kind of affects you for the rest of your life, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I’m kind of with Teach on this one,” Roman said.  “As much as I loathe to admit it.  Yes, Thomas was a very repressed kid, but aren’t we past that now?  I mean, you’re not closeted anymore.  You can’t be trying to tell me you want to be.”

“No,” Thomas said, closing and locking the door behind him.  “But Roman, it was— it was very hard for me.  Okay?  You know that, don’t you?  You were there.”

“Yes, obviously it was,” Roman said.  “But still.  That was a long time ago.”

“It was,” Patton agreed.  “But that doesn’t mean Thomas can’t still be upset about it, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense.  Besides, repressing our feelings hasn’t really gone well in the past, remember?”

“But these feelings don’t make any sense,” Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses.  “Yes, Thomas had a difficult time feeling unwanted as a child.  We all know this, we were all there.  But we’ve moved past that now.  And honestly, it wasn’t really that bad, was it?”

“Easy for you all to say,” Virgil snapped suddenly, glaring over at all of them.  They gave him a surprised look back, and Thomas, despite himself, did the same.

“Virge?” he said.  “You okay?”

Virgil glared away and grumbled something.

“What was that?” Thomas asked.

“I said they don’t get it,” Virgil said, glaring back at him.  “It’s not— oh, nevermind.  They still won’t get it.”

“What are you talking about?” Roman said.  “Of course we get it.  We were there?”

“No you weren’t,” Virgil said, crossing his arms.  “He was.”  He nods at Thomas.

All of them looked at Virgil for a second, and Thomas found himself doing the same, not quite sure what Virgil was getting at.

“Virgil,” Logan said, giving him a baffled look.  “We are all part of him.  Have you somehow forgotten this?”

Virgil, however, just looked at Thomas.  “See?” he said, like they were both in on something.  “Told you they wouldn’t get it.”

Thomas blinked at him.  “I… I don’t get it either, Virgil,” he admitted hesitantly.

“Virgey’s tryin’ to say,” came a sudden voice, and Thomas felt elbows suddenly leaning on his forehead before Remus leaned upside down into his face.  “That they’ve never been unwanted.”

“Did you miss the part where I just explained that we’re all part of Thomas?” Logan said with a sigh.

“Yes, but Thomas isn’t part of Thomas,” came Janus’ voice, and all of them looked over to find him on the couch.

Remus brightened at his appearance, and bounded over to flop back on top of him instead, which at least freed Thomas’ head from his elbows.

Logan threw his hands up.  “And you people wonder why I find it difficult to speak with you,” he said.  “‘Thomas isn’t part of Thomas?’  What in the world does that even mean?”

“He means,” Virgil snapped, and Thomas turned to him again, more than a little surprised to find Virgil defending Janus.  “That Thomas always wanted you.  So no, Logan, none of you get what it feels like to be an outcast.”

Thomas’ eyes widened as it finally clicked what Virgil was saying, and he looked between him and Remus and Janus.  Janus was currently in the process of moving Remus off of his lap, but Remus was looking right at Thomas, surprisingly not smiling.

“That’s ridiculous,” Roman scoffed.  “We all have Thomas’ experience.  We remembered what happened.  We know what it’s like.”

“Oh you know what it’s like?” Remus said, sitting up off of Janus himself, though he still flopped back on the couch as he crossed his arms.  “You ever sit up at night wondering why no one seems to like you, why you don’t have any friends?  You ever wonder why the things you do seem to be just a little too weird, just a little too off for them to be acceptable?  You ever look around at everyone else going on with their happy childhoods, knowing with certainty they’re cared for by the people around them, and wonder what you’re doing wrong?  Why don’t you get to have that?  What’s different about you?  Why is it fair that they don’t want you around?  You know what, you say to yourself, if they don’t want you, you don’t want them either.  What’s so great about them?  You’re going to be weird and own it!  Maybe you decide to join a counterculture, have an emo phase,” he gestured at Virgil who glared at him but then looked away without denying it, “try and go where all the other misfits are, because clearly you’re not wanted anywhere else.  You ever feel that overwhelming relief when you finally find someone who likes you for you, wants you because you’re weird?  Ever have to fight the instinct to hang on to that person for dear life, because you don’t know if they want you as badly as you want them, and if they don’t and you drive them away by being desperate you’re going to hate yourself because then you will have nothing and no one and this time it will be all your fault?  Ever have to spend time after time after time reassuring yourself that this time it’s real, that these people want you around, and still not be sure, even after, say, a decade and a half of being an adult and actually having friends that want you?”

Remus spread his arms with a wide grin as all of them stared at him.  “Because I have!” he said.  “And Janus has and Virgil has!”  Then he pointed over at Thomas, who was pretty sure he was breaking a little inside.  “And Thomas has,” he said.  “Have you?  Mr. Golden Boy?  Mr. Suburban Dad?  Mr. Respectable Teacher?”

“I,” Thomas said, before any of the others could say something.  Remus and Janus and Virgil all turned to look at him.

“I really made you guys feel like that too?” he asked, because Remus had just hit the emotion that he’d been feeling and that none of his core sides had been able to articulate square on the head.

“It’s okay, Thomas,” Janus said instantly, sitting up.

“Says my Deceit,” Thomas said, looking at him, and Janus swallowed but didn’t say anything else.

Thomas reached out and took Virgil gently by the arm, and then pulled him over towards the couch, where he sat down on the other side of Remus and pulled all three of them into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas said, looking around at all of them.

There was a moment where none of them said anything.

“S’okay,” Remus said finally, and Thomas got the sense that he was closer to meaning it.  “Wouldn’t want to be anyone else.”

Thomas gave him a small smile.  “Me too,” he said, and Remus beamed at him.

“Good,” Remus said.  “‘Cause I’ve been trying to get you to give less fucks for years.  It’s not so bad, remember?”

Thomas smiled a little wider.  “Yeah,” he said, because even though Logan had said the same thing, Remus clearly meant it from a very different place, and Thomas liked that place better.

“The world fucks everyone up,” Virgil muttered, and Thomas glanced down at him.  “Either you’re never wanted or you’re terrified of losing it when you are or you’re an entitled prick that makes people feel unwanted in the first place.”

“Yes, those are in fact the only three options,” Janus said, rolling his eyes.

“They are when you’re a gay Catholic kid growing up in Florida in the 90s,” Virgil said.

Janus smiled a little.  “Or the repressed survival instincts of a person’s subconscious,” he said.

“I’d rather make a new option,” Thomas said, and Janus looked back over at him.  “Wanna help?”

Janus smiled a little wider.  “Sounds dreadful,” he said.

The four of them sat there for another minute, and then Thomas glanced up at Patton Roman and Logan, all of whom were standing across the room looking a little lost.

“It’s okay if you want to join the hug anyway,” Thomas said.  “You don’t have to get it.”

Another second passed, and then Patton smiled a little and walked forward to sit on Janus’ other side, followed hesitantly by Roman, who took Virgil’s other side, and Logan, who walked over and stood nearby until Roman pulled him down.

Thomas stayed in between Virgil and Remus and Janus, however, because he was pretty sure the three of them did understand when something wasn’t for them for the moment, and Thomas wanted to get as close as he could to hugging his inner child, that lost little kid version of himself.

And maybe it was high time he gave that same inner child a little more grace.

[oatmealdaydreams]

All of Me Needs Sleep, All of Me

Because I love Virgil like a totally normal person, so I decided to write a lil oneshot about sleepy Vi.

Prompt: Here (from @sleepyvirgilprompts)

Pairing: platonic ThVi

Trigger/Content Warning: sleep deprivation, mention of weapons

Description: When Virgil can't sleep he'll check on the others, or more importantly, on Thomas to make sure he's safe. When Thomas sees this, however, he isn't having it.

[Masterlist] | ao3 link

[Read below the cut]

When Virgil can't sleep, he'll make sure everyone else is okay and safe. More importantly, he'll avidly check on Thomas.

Usually, Thomas is sound asleep and appears to be fine. After a while of watching and guarding to make sure, Virgil will try to go back to his room and rest. It usually ends with him binging YouTube or staring mindlessly at the ceiling, but that's fine. He's fine. A few hours of sleep is enough to not kill him.

And this time was supposed to be the same. But it wasn't, thanks to his person.

It was some time after midnight, Virgil knew that much. He just couldn't sleep. His mind swirled with what ifs and could bes. No way was he resting now.

What if Thomas is in danger, and you're not there to help him?

Virgil shot straight up in his bed, his mind now fully focused on Thomas. That thought made his hands shake slightly, made his veins jolt and halt his mindless staring contest with the ceiling. He hurried off his bed and practically raced to sink out into the real world.

Now he stood at the edge of Thomas' bed, seeing his person sleeping soundly. Safe and okay, he's safe and okay. Virgil watched his chest rise up and down, the steady pattern of breathing. The light snoring. The occasional mumble in his sleepy state. He watched carefully when Thomas would shift or move into a different position to be comfy. He'd just stand there, at the edge of the bed.

He couldn't sleep until he was absolutely sure nothing would try and get him. Virgil was his protector, the person to watch over him whilst he rested. To make sure no danger came his way. To keep him alive and okay, and safe. He wanted him to be safe.

And his mind took so long to be convinced that he was truly, and honestly, safe.

As long as I'm here, nothing can hurt you.

Just like the twins had their weapons, the sword and the morningstar, the others had their own as well. Logan's and Janus' were a bit less obvious. Logan had a strange bow, one that possessed arrows made of literal space and stars. He was Logic, long-range made sense. He calculated the best option and took it. His bow would materialize only when he truly needed it, which thankfully wasn't very often.

Janus had his cane. It sounded a little weak, but it surely was anything but. There was a hidden little button underneath the hook of his cane. If he pressed it, his cane would morph and shift into a sort of whip. It was a little more like yellow ribbon attached to a silver and topaz handle. It helped when he had to pull someone away from danger, the ribbon curling around his target so he could yank them to safety. It also proved great for slashing at the enemy and scaring larger beasts with the loud crack it'd make.

Patton, surprisingly, had one as well. I mean, yeah, he is a dad. But it's Patton; you would think he wouldn't want to hurt anyone. And he doesn't, unless that someone proves to be a threat to any of his kiddos. That's when Patton lets himself be imperfect, in a protective manner. That's the only time you'd ever hear him cuss. His weapon was, oddly enough, quite literally a gun. Whoever decided it was a good idea to give Patton a gun was either the dumbest person in existence, or an absolute genius. Patton seemed to hand his sky-blue, frog-themed pistol extremely well. It was a little scary how well he handled it. It shimmered in the sun, it's metal practically made of pond water and decorative lily pads. It was like someone morphed a frog pond into a little pistol. Patton only ever had it on him if he sensed someone's upset. Just in case.

A lesson to be had: never piss off Patton. He literally has a f*cking gun.

And Virgil? He had a set of dual Chinese sabres, each made of shadow and fear. They were outlined in an eery violet haze. If anyone besides Virgil touched them, they sent violent shivers of icy terror through their veins. Perhaps that's what they were so effective, and equally dangerous. He could summon them as quick and reactive as he was, especially in Fight-or-Flight mode.

Which brings us back to Virgil watching Thomas sleeping, debating on whether it was appropriate to summon his sabres. He still wasn't convinced Thomas was completely safe yet.

Anything could jump out while he's vulnerable. You must protect him, always protect him.

And Virgil accidentally summoned them on reflex when Thomas groaned loudly and sat up in his bed, startling the Emo Nightmare. He must have dozed off into thought. He can't do that, he has to be alert. No matter how tired or delirious he gets, he must protect Thomas.

Virgil blinked, summoning away his sabres as he realized it was just Thomas waking up. He needs to go back to sleep, put him back to sleep. Do your job. Why'd you wake him up? F*cking dumbass.

"Vr-rgil?" Thomas' words slurred as his rubbed his eyes. "Why're you up?"

Virgil hesitated. He didn't want to worry Thomas, cause he knew he'd be worried, of course he would. He shifted in his spot at the edge of the bed.

"Protecting you," came Virgil's small voice.

"Mm, what? What are you doing?" came a sleepy reply, still too tired to comprehend things the first time.

"Checking on you."

A little louder, but not too loud in case Thomas fell back asleep.

"Virge, it's-" Thomas turns a little to check his clock. "It's three in the morning."

"I couldn't sleep, and I got worried," Virgil shrugged it off.

"I'm okay, Vi."

"I know..."

"Just- go to sleep. I don't care where, just go to bed."

Thomas gave Virgil a soft look, seeing the smallest glimpse of the bags hidden under his eyeshadow. His hands were slightly shaking; whether from anxiety or exhaustion, it wasn't clear. He looked so tired. He worried about his Anxiety- this part of him that never seemed to sleep. He looked like he was able to collapse. In fact, he wavered where stood, even if just by the tiniest bit. It still made Thomas concerned.

Virgil seemed to hesitate again, tugging at his hoodie drawstrings. He bit at his lip for a moment, before forcing himself to stop, and take a quiet breath. He still wasn't fully convinced that Thomas was safe.

Thomas saw the lingering worry in Virgil's eyes, and he sighed. Such a protector, isn't he?

"Come 'ere," he said, beckoning him with a loose gesture.

"...what?" Virgil asked dumbly.

"Come here. Sleep by me."

"But I don't-"

"You don't have to if you're uncomfortable, but you need sleep, Virge. And we both know you won't rest until you're sure I'm okay."

"...okay."

This way he could still watch over Thomas.

And get rest, but he wasn't thinking about that. In fact, he only started to realize exactly how tired he was as he slowly walked over to the side opposite of Thomas. His person scooched over, making room for the anxious Side. As soon as Virgil climbed in and his head hit the pillows, he nearly passed out. He forced himself to stay awake, whining out of fear that something would come for them as soon as he fell asleep. God, but his eyes felt so heavy.

"Hey, it's okay, Virgil," Thomas whispered as he carded a calm hand through the Side's hair. "All of me needs sleep, all of me."

Virgil melted at the soothing action, wanting nothing more than to just let himself sleep. But worries lingered, and his dumb little brain wouldn't let him rest.

Thomas, unexpectedly, cuddled up to Virgil. Though the Sides were imaginary and metaphysical, they were still tangible (to a certain degree). How tangible depended on Thomas. Plus, it was like cuddling to himself as an act of self-love. Yes, he still struggled with loving himself- a lot of people do, it's a common thing- but when the Sides needed him, he was there. He loved them, even if he wasn't the best at showing it sometimes. Even if some of them were difficult to deal with, or even if he was just so damn drained. He'd always love them; they were a literal part of him. And he wanted nothing more than to keep the pieces of himself loved.

If he could love the pieces, then perhaps he could love the whole puzzle.

It startled Virgil for a moment, but he just as soon relaxed when he realized it was just Thomas. He held him, put his arms around his person in a protective and sleepy manner. He rested his chin on Thomas' head, keeping him close and safe. Always safe, forever safe as long as he was there.

As soon as he felt like Thomas was secure in his arms, he passed out. Little snores, much like Thomas' own, came from him. Eyes so heavy and relaxed watched the exhausted Side before closing themselves.

"Goodnight, Vi," Thomas whispered before letting himself back into sleep.

And thus, both slept through the night, calm and quiet in each other's warmth.

No one wondered why they were like that as morning came, just glad that Virgil was finally getting some sleep. They let the duo sleep in for a bit longer before starting the day. They both needed this.

And when they woke up, no one commented on it. Everyone went on with their day. It put the anxious Side at ease.

Thomas made a mental note to cuddle Virgil whenever he was worried and sleep deprived.

[the-princey-pie]

New Fic Announcement!

Healing isn’t linear and Virgil is getting a taste of that hehe. Aka some trauma reveal with hurt/comfort and family bonding

[creative-lampd-liberties]

Awwwe! That was so sweet 😭💖 It's perfect I love it!

Adoptable Plot Bunny #4

A little thomxiety hurt/comfort bit. I may continue this but I would Love seeing other people's takes on the idea.

☆☆☆

Ever since the fiasco with Remus, and then the wedding, Virgil hadn't been able to avoid being summoned whenever Thomas was alone. It wasn't conscious on either of their parts. It's just that Thomas was a hair's breadth away from panic anytime he had a moment to think. But that didn't mean he had to let Thomas see him and make everything worse.

He couldn't delude himself. There was no way Thomas wanted to talk to him. It was written all over his face whenever he caught a glimpse of Virgil, in the steadying breaths he took and the stilted awkwardness between them. One confession and he'd undone every ounce of Thomas's trust. It hurt, but the damage was already done.

So he kept to the shadows, a near invisible spectator. It was exhausting, being dragged away from this room at all hours. Only able to sleep when Thomas managed to sleep, which wasn't often these days. Watching, as both of their stress levels ratcheted, unable to help. Something had to give.

Maybe that was why he did it. After a day spent hovering while Thomas aimlessly scrolled through social media, Virgil was wound up. So when he saw the phone left unattended, Instagram still up, he pounced. Pulling up stories, he hit record, letting the anxious thoughts spill out of him.

"Do you ever wonder what people really think about you? Sure they might say they like you. That you're kind or funny or helpful. But you can't ever know if they actually mean it or if they're just trying to be nice-"

"Virgil!" 

"Shit!" Virgil fumbled the phone as he spun around, dropping it. A tone sounded to let him know the video was uploading, and he winced. Thomas stood in the bedroom doorway, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. Oh this is not good. What could he say. He hadn't actually meant to post it, but no one would believe that. An apology died on his lips, his breath stuttering.

Thomas moved closer as he stood there floundering. "We've talked about this before. You're my anxiety, you don't need to be tormenting anyone else."

Virgil's eyes stung. Tormenting. Well if that didn't sum it up right there. Trying to keep his voice steady, he ground his teeth. "Sorry." He flinched when it came out sharp and cold. "I'll get out of your hair." He didn't quite succeed in keeping the wobble out of his words. Closing his eyes against tears, he moved to sink out.

A hand caught his sleeve. His eyes flew open. Thomas gripped his other arm, pinning him in the real world. "Where do you think you're going? We need to talk."

Virgil's heart twisted unpleasantly. "We really don't. I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I promise. Let me go. Please." He couldn't bring himself to look at the disappointment on Thomas's face.

Thomas loosened his grip, but didn't let go. "Virgil, talk to me. I don't see you for weeks, and then you show up just to hijack my phone and bail. What's going on?"

Virgil stared miserably at the floor. He didn't even have the hint of an excuse. "Sorry." He muttered again.

Thomas took a breath. "Okay, you don't want to talk. That's okay. But can you stay for a bit? I've missed you.

What? Virgil's head snapped up, mouth gaping. That didn't make any damn sense. 

But Thomas was looking at him, face soft and confused. No disappointment, no anger. Virgil floundered. "You… you missed me?" He felt lightheaded with relief, and his confusion must have been written all over his face.

"Of course I did! Virge…buddy, what- oh…oh no, come here..." He was crying and he couldn't seem to stop, even as Thomas reeled him into the warmest hug he'd ever felt.

☆☆☆

As always, please tag me if you do anything with this. I want to see 😊

[thomas-sanders-shipname-glossary]

Sanders Sides OTP Names

Glossary Masterpost

A list of the shipnames of Sanders Sides Characters that include two people! Orange is included with temporary shipnames until we know more about him, as has been voted in this poll! Ordered by however it made sense to me.

All names with a (*) came from this post by @treenissanderssidesstuff which I found to be fun alternatives. Edit: All Sides/Nico shipnames were made by me (as were the King/Roman and Remus ones), as I haven't found any elsewhere. If you have your own ideas for them, please message me!

1) Patton / Roman - Royality, Royalty*

2) Patton / Logan - Logicality, Motivate *

3) Patton / Virgil - Moxiety, Moxie*

4) Patton / Janus - Moceit, Patceit, Dogma*

5) Patton / Remus - Intruality, Momus, Moduke, Duality*

6) Patton / Thomas - Patmas, Thomality

7) Patton / Nico - Patco, Nitton

8) Patton / King - Moking

9) Patton / Orange - Pange, Oratton, Morange

10) Roman / Logan - Logince, Procudure*

11) Roman / Virgil - Prinxiety, Proximate*

12) Roman / Janus - Roceit, Princeit, Drama Club*

13) Roman / Remus - Remrom, Romrem

! For platonic/familial relationship, please use Creativitwins!

14) Roman / Thomas - Romthom, Romas

15) Roman / Nico - Roco, Niman

16) Roman / King - Roking, Romking, Kingman

17) Roman /Orange - Rorange, Pringe

18) Logan / Virgil - Analogical, Analog*

19) Logan / Janus - Loceit, Decipher

20) Logan / Remus - Intrulogical, Lomus, Reproductive*

21) Logan / Thomas - Lomas

22) Logan / Nico - Loco, Nigan

23) Logan / King - Loking

24) Logan / Orange - Lorange, Logange, Loge

25) Virgil / Janus - Anxceit, Hissterics*

26) Virgil / Remus - Dukexiety, Vimus, Virus*

27) Virgil / Thomas - Thvi, Thomxiety

28) Virgil / Nico - Vico, Nirgil

29) Virgil / King - Kingxiety, Viking

30) Virgil / Orange - Anxange, Virange, Orgil

31) Janus / Remus - Dukeceit, Demus, Remceit, Receit*, Intruceit, Trashnoodle

32) Janus / Thomas - Thomceit

33) Janus / Nico - Janico, Ninus

34) Janus / King - Kingceit

35) Janus / Orange - Oranceit, Jange

36) Remus / Thomas - Intrumas

37) Remus / Nico - Remco, Nimus

38) Remus / King - Intruking, Kingmus

39) Remus / Orange - Intruorange, Intrange

40) Thomas / Nico - Karrot Kings, Pintroverts

41) Thomas / King - Kingmas

42) Thomas / Orange - Thorange, Thomge

43) Nico / King - Kingco, Nicing, Nicoking

44) Nico / Orange - Nicorange

45) King / Orange - Kingange, Kirange

[whispering-raine]

Virgil: *walking into Thomas' room at like, three in the morning*

Thomas: *immediately wakes up* *still half-asleep* "Virge? What's going on?"

Virgil: *voice increasingly echoed* "...can I sleep on your floor? It's okay ifnotIjust-"

Thomas: *getting up* "Yeah, yeah, sure. But what's up? Did you have a panic attack? Need a hug?"

Virgil: *embarrassed* "Uh...I...I had a nightmare...one of the others hurt you...and I just...I wanted to make sure you stayed safe...so...uh...yeah..."

Thomas: *nodding, understanding* "Oh, Bud. C'mere. You can stay."

[sparrow-flies-south]

Forget-Me-Not

Pairings: Thomas & Virgil Summary: It takes him a moment to figure out what Roman’s saying. It takes him a moment longer to be able to process it. Virgil with amnesia, not knowing what was happening. Not knowing he was safe.

“He remembers us,” Roman continues. “Sort of. He just- doesn’t seem to remember the last few years.”

“How many years?” Thomas croaks out.

Virgil loses his memory. Thomas makes sure he knows just how much things have changed. Warnings: Amnesia Notes: Written for Virgil's birthday, except a couple of days late because I forgot I had this idea until last night

Thank you Mishii for the title!

Masterpost  Read on AO3

Waking up anxious wasn’t exactly unheard of, but it has been a while since Thomas had done it.

He dresses slowly, racking his mind for anything he could have missed – deadlines, birthdays, something that would explain how he is feeling, but nothing comes. Virgil doesn’t even show up to berate him for anything.

So it must be just one of those days.

He spends an hour trying to work before giving up and deciding to watch Park and Recreation to try to distract himself. Janus would be proud.

He half expects Janus to pop up to bully him into taking care of himself, but he doesn’t. Neither does Logan, to explain what’s wrong, or Patton, or Roman, or even Remus.

It’s Virgil’s absence that he notices the most, though.

Because Virgil was never one to shy away from telling Thomas what he was doing wrong. And even though they get along better now, Virgil no longer lashing out at anyone who got close like a feral cat, Virgil will still do his job.

By lunch time, he decides that he’s given his sides long enough.

“Okay,” Thomas says, standing in his usual spot of the living room. “Someone want to explain what’s happening?”

It’s meant for Virgil, an obvious place for him to jump in, without the pressure that Thomas knows would scare him away. And if not Virgil, then Logan would come out, ready to break everything down into facts.

Instead, it’s Roman who appears.

Roman looks – stressed. His outfit is the same as usual, but his hair is messy, as if he’s been running his hands through it too much. He smiles sheepishly at Thomas.

“What, uh, what appears to be the problem, Thomas?” he asks, and that hesitation is another thing that’s wrong.

“I was kind of hoping you would tell me that,” Thomas says, trying not to let his growing fear show. “Where is everyone?”

“They’re, uh, busy! Very, very busy. So busy that I’m the one who came to help you.”

“Right.” Thomas doesn’t believe that one bit. “Does that have anything to do with why I’m feeling like this?”

Roman frowns, concern growing on his face. “Like what?”

Thomas sighs, and runs his hand through his hair. “Anxious,” he answers, and Roman’s face falls. “I’ve been feeling it all day. Is that- Is Virgil-”

“Virgil, uh, may have something to do with it,” Roman admits. “Not deliberately, it’s just that, well-”

“Roman, this really isn’t helping my anxiety, buddy,” Thomas says. “Just tell me. Is Virgil okay?”

Roman sighs. “Physically he’s fine. Or rather, metaphysically, perhaps. You know what I mean.”

“And mentally?”

“He, uh, well… hemayhaveamneisia.”

It takes him a moment to figure out what Roman’s saying. It takes him a moment longer to be able to process it. Virgil with amnesia, not knowing what was happening. Not knowing he was safe.

“He remembers us,” Roman continues. “Sort of. He just- doesn’t seem to remember the last few years.”

“How many years?” Thomas croaks out.

Roman pulls a face. “He doesn’t remember telling us his name.”

God, that’s- that might be even worse than Virgil not remembering anything. Because the Virgil back then had been constantly on edge, constantly lashing out because he thought he’d be attacked first if he didn’t. And Thomas and his sides- they’d just made things worse. Constantly.

“Patton is with him,” Roman adds, which helped, a bit. “Logan, too, though I think he’s focusing on finding a way to reverse this. I figured I’d be the most use up here. Virgil and I – well, I can’t imagine he wants to see me right now.”

He says this last part with a sad smile. Thomas doesn’t know what to say – Virgil loves Roman, would likely want everyone nearby when he was feeling bad. But the Virgil of before was a different story.

And right now, Roman isn’t the one Thomas can focus on.

“Is he-” Thomas takes a breath, figures out what he wants to say. “I want to see him.”

Roman hesitates. “I’m not sure if that’s-”

“Please,” Thomas says. “If he doesn’t want to, then that’s fine, but- can you please just ask?”

Roman hesitated a moment longer, and then nods, sinking down without a word. As soon as he’s gone, Thomas feels like a puppet with all its strings cut. He deflates, sinking onto the couch, and rests his head in his hands.

This is- bad. Really bad. Because Virgil clearly isn’t taking it well – if how Thomas is feeling is anything to go by, Virgil is scared, has been scared all day.

“You rang?” a voice intones from the side.

Thomas leaps to his feet. “Virgil,” he cries out in relief.

Virgil flinches, and then stiffens, as if he’s trying to hide the fact that he just flinched. He’s not wearing purple, just his old black hoodie, and the sight of it makes something in Thomas’ chest clench.

“Sorry,” Thomas says. “I can just call you Anxiety, if you want?”

Virgil hunches in on himself. “Call me whatever,” he mutters. “I don’t care.”

Which means that he does care, very deeply. Only problem is, Thomas isn’t sure which way that goes.

“Right,” Thomas says, and then he stops, because he really doesn’t know where to go from there.

Virgil fidgets. “Princey said you wanted to see me?”

“Yeah. I, uh, actually wanted to see how you were.”

Virgil freezes, his eyes widening. “What?”

“Roman – I mean, Prince, told me what happened,” Thomas explains.

Virgil doesn’t reply, just keeps his gaze fixed on a point across the room. His whole body is taught, like he’s ready to make a break for it at any minute.

“I’ve been feeling anxious all day,” Thomas continues. He manages a smile and adds, “Kept expecting you to show up and tell me everything I’m doing wrong.”

“Yeah, well, there’s probably something,” Virgil mutters.

Thomas huffs, feeling like he’s being hissed at by a feral kitten. He wonders how he ever felt scared of Virgil.

Virgil looks surprised at Thomas’ reaction, and the edge of his lips twitch in what Thomas can now recognise as a Virgil-smile.

“This must be scary for you,” Thomas adds, gently, and Virgil’s face shutters.

“It’s fine.”

Thomas shakes his head. “Anxiety-”

“Look, if there’s nothing else you want, I might as well go.”

“Don’t,” Thomas blurts, and Virgil goes perfectly still. “I mean, if you really want to you can, I’m not going to force you. But, uh, I’d like it if you stay.”

“You never want me around,” Virgil says suspiciously, like he thinks this might be some kind of trap, and Thomas’ heart aches.

Thomas sighs. “I know I never used to, I can’t deny that. But things have changed since then.”

“My name.”

“That was part of it, yeah, but- I guess I figured out how important you are.”

Virgil’s breath shudders, and Thomas continues, hoping he’s saying the right thing. “You were always trying to look out for me, weren’t you? I never appreciated that.”

“Right,” Virgil says thickly.

“I love you,” Thomas adds, and Virgil’s face falls.

“You can’t just-“

“Why not?” Thomas asks.

Virgil doesn’t reply, not that Thomas really expected him to. Thomas steps back and sits on the sofa, Virgil watching him like he’s a wild animal the whole time.

“I was watching Parks and Rec,” Thomas says, and Virgil nods.

“Right,” he says, “I’ll just-”

“Do you want to join me?” Thomas asks.

Virgil goes tense again, and God, Thomas really did mess up so many times, didn’t he? But then Virgil says, “Really?” in a quiet voice, and something warm inside him begins to untangle.

“Yeah,” Thomas says, and pats the sofa next to him.

It takes another moment for Virgil to sit down, still tightly wound and casting glances Thomas’ way. As the episode continues, Virgil begins to relax, just a little. Thomas finds himself edging closer to Virgil – it’s not even on purpose, just his instincts pushing him to be as close to his Sides as he can.

He doesn’t notice how close they are until his arm brushes against Virgil’s. Virgil goes tense, and then relaxes into the touch. Thomas carefully curls an arm around him, the contact making his skin buzz.

“What are you doing?” Virgil hisses.

“I can stop,” Thomas offers. “If you want.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Virgil mutters, and Thomas smothers a smile.

“You’re my friend,” Thomas explains. “I want to hug you.”

“I’m your Anxiety.”

“Yeah,” Thomas says. “And that’s- I love you for it.”

“You’re not supposed to.”

“But wouldn’t it be easier if I did?”

Virgil doesn’t answer, but he does lean into Thomas’ touch. Thomas chooses to count it as a victory.

“Anxiety, I’m so, so sorry I made you feel that way,” Thomas says, meaning every word.

“It’s fine. I just- things are really different now?” He sounded scared, more so than Thomas had ever heard him. It was like he thought Thomas was about to pull the rug out from underneath him.

“Yeah, buddy,” Thomas says. “Things are- things are pretty great, now, actually.”

Virgil curls into Thomas, and oh, he’s crying now. Thomas holds him tighter, presses a kiss to his forehead. Eventually, the shaking subsides, but Thomas still doesn’t move away. Virgil needs him right now, which means that Thomas? Thomas isn’t going anywhere.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Virgil: *falls asleep on Thomas during movie night*

Thomas: *deep breath* *quietly* You are the most precious fucking thing in this world and I would kill for you.

[teacupfulofstarshine]

Platonic Thomas and Virgil... nightmares?

thomas jerks awake, chest heaving, the nightmare already fading from his mind before he can wrap his mind around what it was about. a shadow moves next to him, but before he can panic, virgil appears. he gently touches thomas’s head and pulls out a string of inky blackness, which he promptly crushes beneath his fingers. “go back to sleep, thomas. i’ll keep watch - no more nightmares for you tonight.”

thomas smiles, and virgil gives him a characteristic salute before sinking out again.

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Moment pre-aa where Thomas almost gets seriously injured or killed but Virgil pulls him out of the way just in time and starts yelling at him like "dude are you stupid?! You almost died there-" but then he turns to look at Thomas and jerks back at the soft smile he's looking back at him with

[sleepyvirgilprompts]

Virgil: Thomas?

Thomas: Yeah?

Virgil *grabs Thomas’s wrist* No.

Thomas: No what?

Virgil: No leaving. You’re warm.

Thomas: You’re really out of it, huh?

Virgil, insistently: Warm.

Thomas: Okay, okay, I’m staying. Go back to sleep.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Protector

Chapter One

Author's Note: *peeks my head out* hi

You guys over here on tumblr can't see the chapter count, but this is the last chapter! This story has been… shit, at least three years in the making? From the first brainstorm to today it has gone through a fuck ton of changes and updates and fights between me and my own characters when they wouldn't do what I wanted them to. But I really honestly love where it ended up and how things worked out. I hope you did too, and thank you so much for reading! I've really loved seeing everyone's comments and theories as the story goes on, and sometimes I honestly can't believe how many people read it, it's easily my most popular story for this fandom xD

But anyways, thank you so much for reading it! This story means a lot to me, and I hope you enjoy the ending and that you enjoyed the whole thing overall!

Chapter Forty-Three:

Most days, Virgil woke up alone now.  Logan said it was a good sign that he no longer worried enough about Remus’ safety to have to sleep in the same bed with him every night.  If Virgil had a bad night, he’d end up there.  If it was a really bad night, sometimes Roman would already be there.  But those were becoming few and far between, and more likely, Virgil would wake up, get dressed, and head downstairs to find Remus making some kind of monstrosity in the kitchen with Patton.

That was precisely what happened this morning, as Virgil walked downstairs and found Patton had made a horrible mistake in apparently thinking Remus was ready to learn how to make pancakes.

Spilled batter was covering everything in the kitchen, including Patton and Remus themselves.  Currently, Remus was pouring batter onto the griddle, and Virgil cringed and stepped back lest Remus somehow find a way to launch it several feet.

But some of the practice must have paid off, because Remus pulled the bowl up in time to make a pancake that actually looked more or less okay.

“Alright!” Remus called happily, setting the bowl down on the counter and spilling more as he did so.  “Now when do we add the bacon?”

“Bacon is normally a side that comes with the pancakes,” Patton said.  “But we might be able to add some to yours after we flip it.”

“Hell yeah!”

“Language!”

“Good morning,” Virgil called, startling Patton into spinning around.  Remus simply glanced over his shoulder and called “Hi Virgil!”

“Oh, good morning kiddo,” Patton said with a smile.  “We’re attempting to make pancakes.  I’ll admit you were a much less messy student.”

“Thank you!” Remus called, beaming at Patton.

“It may be a while before breakfast, but I think Logan was actually looking for you,” Patton said.  “He went back up to his room, but he should be down any—”

“Ah, Virgil, you are just the side I was looking for.”

“Minute,” Patton finished with a smile and nod behind Virgil.

Virgil turned around as Patton turned to try and explain flipping pancakes to Remus.

“What’s up teach?” he asked, following Logan into the living room.

“I wanted to invite you to the editing session today,” Logan said, setting his notes and his copy of the script for the upcoming video down on the coffee table.

“For the video?” Virgil asked in confusion.  “I don’t normally have much of a part in that process.”

“I am aware.  However, Remus mentioned the other day that you used to do quite a bit of editing for his ideas, back when there wasn’t anyone else around to do so,” Logan said.  “And as someone more familiar with his contributions as I am more familiar with Roman’s, I thought it was only fair to see if you wanted to join.  I think it is an especially good idea considering this latest video will be heavily focused on you and Remus.”

Virgil smiled a little.  “Well, that’s… not a terrible idea, I guess.”

The corners of Logan’s lips turned up slightly, and he nodded.  “Excellent, I look forward to seeing you there.”

“Oh, are you talking about the editing session later?” Remus called from the kitchen, turning and flinging a pancake up as he did so which promptly landed on Patton’s head.  “Virgey, are you going to come?”

“I’ll be there, Re, pay attention!” Virgil called, though Patton was laughing and didn’t seem at all upset.

“Awesome!” Remus called, turning to pour more batter now that the pancake was ruined.

Virgil picked up on Roman’s footsteps just before they started down the stairs, and had just enough time to realize that he was going to be disappointed before he called, “I smell pancakes!”

“Remus is making them,” Virgil called as his head came into view.  “I’d stick with frozen waffles unless you want to wait a while.”

“…That’s probably best,” Roman sighed.

“Hey, I didn’t even add anything poisonous this time!” Remus called from the kitchen.

Virgil leaned back on the couch with a chuckle as Roman headed into the kitchen to make waffles.  Remus made sure to flip a pancake onto his head anyway.

The volume in the kitchen started to raise as Roman and Remus started exchanging banter, and Virgil used the cover to turn and face Logan.  “Do you know how Janus is doing?”

“A little better, I think,” Logan said with a smile.  “He did some acting with Roman yesterday, and didn’t seem to even have a motive beyond having fun with him.  At least, that’s what Roman said he thought was going on.”

“That’s good,” Virgil said.  He shifted so he could push himself up to sit on the top of the couch.

“He’s also started forcing people to take breaks again,” Logan said.  “And if he’s confident enough to do that, I think that’s a good sign.”

“People?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow at Logan.

“I did not do anything work-related after dinner yesterday, like we all agreed on,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses.  “I was researching purely for the sake of enjoyment.”

“Yeah?  What’d you find out?”

Logan’s eyes lit up, and he launched into a rant about astronomy that Virgil could mostly keep up with.

They were both there until Remus and Patton managed to finish one pancake for each of them, and Patton headed upstairs to take a shower with a remark that he’d grab Janus on the way back down.  Remus, on the other hand, was attempting to lick the batter off to clean himself, which would be more efficient according to him.

Patton’s showers didn’t take long, meaning about fifteen minutes later he and Janus started down the steps and over towards the kitchen.  Janus sat next to Logan on the opposite side of the table from where Virgil and Remus had picked, but the dark circles under his eyes were less heavy today, which was progress.

“So!” Roman called happily, and everyone turned their gazes to him.  “The video is making good progress, and Logan said he was going to ask Virgil to start helping with the editing…?” he gave Virgil a hopeful look.

Virgil gave a thumbs up around a mouthful of pancake.

“Excellent!  In that case, I believe we’ll be ready to start filming by the end of the week!”

“That’s wonderful, kiddo!” Patton said happily.

“Indeed, I believe we are all eager to get started,” Logan said.  “Not because it is unreasonable that this video is taking longer, but because I think we are all happy to be working on something again.  And I very much look forward to having the figurative record set straight with Virgil and Remus.”

“Good luck with that!” Patton, Remus, and Roman all called at the same time.

Logan looked up at the ceiling, seeming to be contemplating his life choices.

Virgil caught Logan’s gaze and gave a roll of his eyes that Logan returned a grateful smile to.  He was pretty sure they were both glad there was at least one other side to be annoyed at antics with, especially since Janus was obviously hiding a smile behind his hand at the other end of the table.

“When does the editing session start?” Janus asked a second later.  “Do we have anything else to do today?”

“The plan was to begin after lunch, and I don’t believe there’s anything else on the schedule, why?” Logan asked.

“Because I am in dire need of a movie night with Thomas,” Janus said.  “And I was hoping we could fit one in.”

“We’re all eating breakfast,” Logan pointed out.  “It would hardly be considered—”

“Movie night!” Roman called with a happy clap of his hands.  “I’m down as long as I get to use your hat for voting!”

Janus hissed and put his hands protectively over his hat.

“I think that’s a great idea kiddo,” Patton said with a smile.  “I’ll ask Thomas after I finish eating.”

“I’m done,” Virgil called, standing up with his empty plate.  “I’ll do it in just a sec.”

He headed over to the sink to wash the dish as the conversation continued behind him.  He washed the dish and set it over on the drying rack, and sank out to Thomas afterwards with a wave at the others and a call that he’d see them soon.

Thomas was already sitting in front of the TV flipping through Netflix, so clearly some of the idea had bled over already.

He did pause and give Virgil a smile once he noticed him, though.

“Hi Virgil!  It’s not game night already, is it?”

“Nope.  Janus suggested an impromptu movie night before the editing session later.  I came to ask if you were alright with it.”

“We’re going to try and settle on movie all seven of us agree on?” Thomas asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course not, that’s why I got here early,” with a mischievous smile.  “I say we watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

“That doesn’t sound half bad,” Thomas said.

“Well, look at that, the vote is unanimous,” Virgil said, moving to his spot on top of the couch.  “Let’s get it set up so it can be ready when everyone else gets here.”

Thomas huffed a laugh and shook his head.  “You know sometimes I remember why you were originally a villain.”

“Oh you’re right, it doesn’t get any more devious than rigging movie votes,” Virgil said.  “Clearly I’m the worst side you’ve got.”

Thomas winced, and Virgil paused.

“Too soon?”

“Maybe a bit,” Thomas said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Sorry.  Joke rescinded.”

“It’s okay,” Thomas said with a small smile.  “So do we want popcorn for this movie night?”

“At 9 in the morning?”

“We’re adults, who’s going to stop us?”

“The debilitating social anxiety and shame,” Virgil said.

Thomas gave him a deadpan look, and Virgil laughed.

“No but you make an excellent point,” he said.  “Let’s make the rest of your popcorn all right now.”

“All of it?”

“There are seven of us.”

Thomas laughed, and they both headed to the kitchen to do just that.

Virgil expected it to be a little longer before anyone else showed up, but he was proven wrong when a second after he got out the popcorn he heard someone appear behind him and turned to see Remus.

He was holding something and looking uncharacteristically nervous, which set Virgil’s alarm bells off.

“Re?” he asked, setting the bag of popcorn down.

“I uh, made you a thing,” Remus said, shoving the thing he was holding at him, which looked like a wrapped gift.  “The thing that I was gonna make you before Janus was an idiot and ran off to the subconscious.”

Virgil took in it in surprise, looking down at it.

“If you want to go open that in private I can finish here,” Thomas said to Virgil.

Virgil gave him a grateful smile.  “Thanks,” he said, and he and Remus both sank out to Virgil’s room.

“I hope you don’t hate it,” Remus said instantly, with a casual tone Virgil could read through immediately.

“I’m not gonna hate it, dummy,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes with a fond smile.  “Hang on, let me just…”

He let his sentence fade off and pulled the wrapping paper off the gift, then set it to the side on his desk, and was met with a hoodie.

It was still black, but unlike his current one, this had bright purple patches and was the kind of brand-new fuzzy that hoodies had before you sent them through the wash.

“I figured, you kind of don’t have a color,” Remus said, still sounding very forcibly casual.  “And the rest of us do.  So.  You know, I made you it, and whatever and stuff.”

Virgil looked up at Remus with a smile, and then stepped forward and pulled him into his arms.  “You’re amazing,” he said.  “You know that, right?”

“Obviously,” Remus said, with a slightly choked up tone of voice.

“I love it,” Virgil said.  “Thank you.”

Remus made a small noise but didn’t say anything else, just pulled Virgil closer and squished him.

Virgil squished him back, and they both stood there for a moment being squished, which was as wonderful as always.

Eventually, they pulled apart, and Virgil took off his current hoodie and put on his new-and-obviously-improved version.

“You want to head out to Thomas and watch movies now?” he asked with a smile at Remus.

“Yes I do,” Remus said, starting to grin.  “You have to show off your amazing new outfit.”

“Naturally,” Virgil said with a smile, and he wrapped his arm around Remus’ so they could sink out together.  They had a 9AM movie night to get to, and a really good day after.

And a really, really good life to come after that.

[oatmealdaydreams]

Do you have a favourite fic thatd you’ve written? Like one (or more) youre proud of thatd youd like more people to read?

I'm glad ya asked, Duckie!

Here's some fics I'm proud of:

Tell It to Me, My Dearest Star -> qpp/alterous Logince, part of Logince Week 2024, hurt/comfort, kinda addresses how Logan's so used to be silenced and stuff; literally the reason I realized I'm alterous & made one of my moots cry bc star saw starself in my depiction of Logan [you've prob seen it, I saw ya from your tags]

Burning Timber, Grey Fog -> Logince, part of Logince Week 2024, hurt/comfort, they take care of each other, my take on literal burnout for Roman as Creativity, addresses burnout & creative block as well as depression & brain fog; one of my fave writers gave it a comment on ao3 & talked about how this would make sense for executive dysfunction/burnout because they're like Thomas' executive functions & it made me smile [you've also seen this one if I can recall [lmao]]

All of Me Needs Sleep, All of Me -> platonic Thvi/Thomxiety, based on a @/sleepyvirgilprompts prompt (properly tagged & credited), mild hurt/comfort, short but sweet & very wholesome; I love writing platonic stuff with Thomas & his Sides, and this is the only fic I've ever been recognized for (only like one time; which was funny as hell bc it's the very first fic I posted on Tumblr & my writing style has changed a lil since then)

An Emerald Crown -> creativitwins & background DLAMPR, lots of warnings, rated M (Mature) for some content like unaliving thoughts/attempt, major hurt/comfort, Roman comforting Remus, features the Imagination being a sentient maternal entity to the twins, kinda long; really spoke to a reader/commenter on ao3 & I did some projecting on poor Remus when I was having a very rough day & I'm weak for the brothers bc complicated siblings are important to me (a personal fave)

Polaris -> platonic Wrathloceit (Orange, Janus, Logan), hurt/comfort, Logan angst, rated M (Mature) for content like unaliving thoughts, features some fun thoughts I've got about Orange; made a commenter/reader on Tumblr cry & this is another one dear to my heart & the first time I wrote Orange directly interacting with other Sides

I don't have a lot of fics tbh, but here's some I like very much :3

Always read the warnings!

[hopelessly-aro]

Virgil’s birthday drabble 6/7: familial Thomas & Virgil

Don't bully Thomas or you'll encounter the wrath of his big brother.

the others and AO3 link

Virgil knew something was wrong before it happened. He was across the school grounds in minutes, heading for where he knew his brother would be. The moment he spotted Thomas he walked faster, glaring daggers at the kid he could see had just tripped him up even though they hadn't noticed him yet.

He appeared behind Thomas, tall and pissed, hearing some unoriginal threat about lunch money die away as the bully saw him. The kid was gone in an instant, not staying to face the consequences. Shame.

"You okay Thomas?"

"Y-Yeah, thanks."

No one fucked with Virgil's family.

~~*~~