#planet slop

[kalashnikovlobotomy]

we will commit wolf murder rusame hear me out on this!!

[bang-bang-gang]

stop with the “pro-leather” posts no matter how many times you say it leather is not the sustainable option in a capitalist society i hate this fucking website

[inbred-mothman]

Hey guys just a little note: if you use AI art in any way shape or form, you can go ahead and block me. And if I see anyone I interact with using it, I'll block them immediately as well, there's no reason you should have to steal our jobs just because you "wanted art"... that's why we are here. That's why artists exist. There are countless artists who would die to get commissioned (me included) by ANYONE. But you have to go and show your fucking GREED by stealing our work. It is STEALING. by using AI generated images as a replacement for art you are putting artists as a whole at risk. I'm disappointed in some of the fandoms I'm in because of this. I thought we were better than that.

TLDR:

DNI if you use AI generated images

[beeapocalypse]

i will change every single one of my inescapable patterns and master my life. tomorrow

[malrie]

People have been making art w their hands and eating/ sleeping whenever they wanted for 100,000-300,000 more years than the stock market has existed. This is also why I think people belaboring and digging in heels about how capitalism is here to stay make no sense to me when that’s less than 1% of human history and we’ve lived without that plus the idea of a nuclear family for our entire existence

[communistkenobi]

sorry I know I’m being extremely annoying right now but the claim that the electronic calculator ‘did not forcibly pervade every aspect of our lives’ is so boldly and confidently wrong it’s impressive. the ability to automate the act of quantification (ie what an electronic calculator does) is probably as central to modern commerce and society as like, the transistor or the lightbulb. a world where excel spreadsheets do not exist is a fundamentally alien one to most people on planet earth. all geospatial software is built on the ability to do math on the fly. can you imagine the world today without google maps? can you even begin to comprehend a society not dominated by numbers? even these examples undersell how fundamental automated calculations are because this technology did in fact pervade every aspect of life. the fact that you think a calculator is simply a plastic doohickey you were taught to use in grade nine math is maliciously literal. like these arguments are so nakedly and openly anti-intellectual that I would say it makes it clear that no one should take you seriously, but posting this kind of mind-numbing slop is one of the easiest ways to do numbers on tumblr right now, which is something you also wouldn’t be able to do without the invention of an electronic calculator

[metamatar]

there's this scarcity model people have in their heads where the only way art can be good is if fewer people (deemed artists) do it, if its harder to do and you have to earn the right to do art. its genuinely a mindset with no relationship to reality. realistic potraits were really hard to do in the middle ages, but 80% of them were slop created for royal families. there's more creativity on itch.io since we got free no code frameworks like twine and the ability for people to host and share passion projects created in their free time with basically the whole planet cheaply.

[azzydoesstuff]

lethal company dashboard simulator

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

man 41-experimentation has the worst abandoned facilities. where is all the scrap guh??

🪲 lootyloot-nestynest Follow

the fuck are you calling an abandoned facility?? experimentation is my fucking home you prick. you scrappers call these facilities abandoned but they're not. you're just wandering into our homes and stealing our things. leave it to the scrapper to regurgitate insectophobic slop. blocked

#like i swear to god. these fucking scrappers are so stupid. i hope they all die #insect pride

3,601 notes

🌰 nuts-be-cracked Follow

i swear to god y'all, ain't NOTHINg moving on my watch

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

heyyyy 😏

🌰 nuts-be-cracked Follow

😬

457 notes

🦅 professionalhawkster2 Follow

bro why do the fucking dogs keep messing with my gang?? they almost killed jerry a couple hours ago

🦖 heywhosaidthat Follow

how about you be fucking quiet you fucking pickle thieves

#seriously who steals pickles lmao #fuck baboon hawks

92 notes

🖳 theindomitablesigurd-deactivated1968

T HEY TOOK M Y PIcKLES!!!!1!!

#naw i'm uptading th ose mf dangjer level to 75% agfter tha t shit

18 notes

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

first time visiting 7-dine! wonder what i'm gonna find lol

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

hey i live there! lol

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

🫣

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

man what the hell

#cw coilphobia #fucking scrappers #hope i coil this bitch lmao

7,084 notes

🦑 badjokesbyjeb Follow

What do you do after eating a really tasty planet? You give the restaraunt five golden stars.

🪙 living-on-the-blingbling-baby Follow

BEAST LET ME OUT ALREADY I NEED TO GET OUT I CAN'T BE DIGESTED YOU FUCKING BEAST CEASE THIS MOCKERY OF OUR GOLDEN PLANET RELEASE ME SPIT OUT THE RINDS LET ME LEAVE

🖁 across-the-system Follow

Haha, good one Jeb! You should really change your url!

#you fucking idiot don't say shit like that #he's gonna fucking escape at some point if you keep doing this and then you'll really be fucked you fucking moron #goodjokesbyjeb

765,014 notes

🦈 thump-thump-thump Follow

who up eatin' their legs

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

what

🦈 thump-thump-thump Follow

us thumpers get called halves because when we're born we have to eat the bottom half of our bodies to get out of our eggs. this is why we have no legs and have to use our arms to walk around. hope this helps ❤️

#cw thumperphobic slur #cw half #don't be ignorant like this and do your research #also don't call us halves please #thumpers #thumperposting #thumper gang

132 notes

☣️ richrichardguy-deactivated0709

man why don't this fucking door open. oh it's my fucking crew behind it fucking great. fucking assholes won't stop saying i smell

🌿 rapaxfoliumsnap Follow

hey i think we haven't met before

☣️ richrichardguy-deactivated0709

😨

🖳 theindomitablesigurd-deactivated1968

RICH NOOOOOOOOOOO

#bro stank like shit but i didn't want him to go like this #not like this! not like thiiiiiiis!

64,089 notes

🪲 lootyloot-nestynest Follow

you guys, i just found the coolest fucking metal sheet. you have no idea

42 notes

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

BRO GET OUT OF THE DOORWAY STUPID FUCKING BOX

🎁 lethaljesterjestering Follow

listen to my tune

351 notes

🔦 new-guy-working-here Follow

hey guys it's my first week working for the company! i think i'm gonna make quota this time

🌿 rapaxfoliumsnap Follow

no you're not

🔦 new-guy-working-here Follow

no i'm not

9,278 notes

🎭 she-fillin-my-quota Follow

hey guys i'm resigning from the company rn. im gonna make some changes accordingly on my blog now. can someone tell @lootyloot-nestynest i'm sorry and ask them to unblock me. i'm a changed man now, i'm not a scrapper anymore

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

guys idk something seems off about this guy. he was spewing coilphobic shit a couple days ago

🎭 comedy-tragedy-drama Follow

guess who's been busy, coily? 😏😏😏

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

no fucking way

#the madman did it #bro got fucking masked lmao

[sapphiresaphics]

I think what bothers me the most about a lot of the arcane criticism is how anti-creative it ends up being. Even well meaning criticisms such as “it needed another season” or “we needed one more episode for things to cook properly” come across to me as really defeatist.

Arcane is one of the most ambitious animated projects in recent memory. It’s one of the most expensive animated TV shows ever produced. It took over 6 years just to get a first season into production. It features a massive amount of talent from all over the industry from voice actors, to animators, to music producers and writers. Its narrative is challenging and complex but easily digestible and gorgeous to watch. There are tons of hidden details, a world that is fleshed out to an absurd degree, and fan service for longtime gamers. Its characters are morally grey and complicated, and the debates around said characters continues long after the show ended.

In this day and age of recycled copy/pasted mediocre products shoved down our throats to say Arcane was ambitious is an understatement. By all accounts… this should have FAILED.

But it didn’t. It’s a MASTERCLASS of filmmaking and storytelling. Nearly every episode is highly rated and ranked. It’s one of the highest received and watched shows on Netflix.

So when I see people say “it didn’t quite stick to landing” or say “it tried to do too much,” I just feel… exhausted.

What MORE do you people want? How much more perfection can they force into a product like this? If the creatives tried THIS HARD and spent THAT MUCH to make a product THIS BELOVED… and you’re STILL not satisfied… what are we even doing anymore? And by extension… what’s that mentality say to all of us smaller independent creators who just want to make stuff?

Some people are spurned by criticism to strive to do better. But in my experience that is a rare breed and more often than not when you give something your all and are received with disappointment you end up internalizing that disappointment and not doing the thing anymore.

Is it not better that the creatives tried and were ambitious and that their ambitions didn’t quite make it all the way but they still made a quality product that is more than just a sum of its parts, than if they just didn’t bother trying at all? Isn’t it better that we try and come up short than to never try? Isn’t it better they still managed to make a successful show that millions of people love, than to make a dumpster fire that alienated people and killed the franchise?

I’m not saying you can’t criticize the show. Every work of media deserves some level of criticism. But I just feel like the HEIGHTS that this show reaches for are SO HIGH that it almost feels greedy and entitled to try and bring it down to the levels of the SLOP we get from Disney or Marvel or DC every few years.

When is see intense hatred and criticism lobbied at Arcane I just feel like “why bother trying?” Why bother trying to do anything innovate or wild or creative and ambitious if it’s going to be met with such unrelenting hatred and stupidity. Why should I subject myself to that level of scrutiny and rejection?

If arcane is a master class made by some of the most talented people on the planet and it’s STILL not good enough… then what hope do I have?

Why should I even try?

[sicklymuttz]

My gift to you!!!! Thank you so much for 100 followers! I'm so grateful so many of you enjoy my slop or have enjoyed my slop in the past. I know a lot of you were from different fandoms I've been in, and I just wanna say I'm SO grateful yall are STILL here even after I may not post about those fandoms anymore. I hope you guys enjoy my Hypertana gift, since that's the choice that won the poll! You guys are totally epic and I appreciate yall so much. peace and love on planet earth 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[salad-006]

Eddsworld slop pile incoming

I need an excuse to doodle these guys in my own style more often

Heartbreaking news for everyone: this isnt ship art

I like the idea of larry getting killed in some sort of lab incident and bing resurrecting him as a cyborg (he's literally the only person on the planet willing to put up with bings bullshit)

As a warning everything below this contains like blood and cartoon gore

And the full page ok goodbye

[meshla-cyarika]

Migraines

Pairing: Hunter x gn!reader

Word count: 805

Tags/warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship, cuddles, Crosshair being Crosshair.

Summary: Your boyfriend is back from a mission, but all his sensory input is catching up with him.

--------------------------------------------------

Fuck the Sepratists.

You've been on a week long mission with Delta Squad and have only just gotten back Coruscant. You didn't even see any action, all you had to do was sit in hiding for a week and snoop around to find out if there were Separatists on the planet. There were, but they had left long before you even arrived.

A drawn out sigh leaves your lips, as you make your way towards the mess hall. You've already showered and you're planning on taking a long nap, but you know that if you dont eat anything before then, Scorch's mother hen instincts will take over.

Once you get to the front of the que, the option of stew, or a slop that looks like it could be used to build houses stands before you. You ask for the stew, then you're about to make your way to a quieter table, when a booming voice yells out your name.

Your eyes land on the misfit band of clones known as the Bad Batch, who are sat at a small table by themselves. You instantly notice a certain sergeant's absence.

"Wrecker, I thought you lot were on Kashyyyk?" You tactfully take a seat next to Crosshair, knowing it's the spot where you're least likely to get bits of bread thrown at you by the snarky sniper.

"We were, but we crushed those clankers to dust!" Wrecker's booming laugh fills the air, while he clasps his fist in his other hand to emphasise his point.

"Is that a new record of how fast you've completed a mission?" You arch a brow and take a bite out of a piece of bantha meat.

"Hardly." Tech speaks up, not looking at his datapad for once. "Remember Felucia?" He gives you a look, referring to when they managed to take out an entire droid factory without even leaving the Marauder.

You let Tech and Wrecker break out into their own conversation, then you turn to Crosshair. "Where's Hunter?"

You're not that concerned, because you know that if anything drastic happened to the sergeant, you'd be the first to know. He is your boyfriend after all.

"Migraine." The sniper replies, seemingly too busy with picking off pieces of his bread to use as ammunition to actually look at you.

You sigh quietly and continuing eating your meal. Migraines aren't an uncommon battle for Hunter. With his enhanced senses, everything can become all too much very quickly. His migraines can vary from just a very strong headache, to throwing up and not being able to form sentences. Considering Crosshair's unbothered tone, this is one of the more mild ones.

You finish your meal quickly and stand up from the table to make your leave. "Well, not like this isn't fun, but I have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Which translates to: "don't come back to the ship, unless you want to be scarred for life"." Crosshair smirks up at you.

"Please. In his state, that might kill him." You scoff at his words.

"Urgh! Some people are trying to eat!" Wrecker complains, with a grimace set on his face.

《》《》《》《》

It's almost eery how silent and dark the Marauder is, when you step inside. Tech had mentioned something a while back about how he had managed to get rid of most of the noise pollution that the ship creates. How much they are willing to do for each other never fails to tug on your heart strings.

The light from the open door allows you to see a lump on one of the bunks at the back that you identify as Hunter. You step out of the doorway and the durasteel slides shut behind you, leaving you in darkness.

"Hunter." You call out softly, navigating your way to his bunk from memory alone. There's a grunt and a mumble of something that sounds like your name. "You need anything, cyare?" You sit on the edge of his bunk and your eyes gradually adjust to the darkness, which allows you to notice the few strands of hair in his face that you tuck back behind his ear.

"You. Just you." Hunter murmurs and you can't help the warm smile that etches it's way onto your face at his words.

"Shift over then, trooper." You give him a playful smirk.

"Rude." He huffs back, as he shimmies closer to the wall. You slide off your shoes and crawl into the narrow bunk beside him. Instantly, Hunter's arms are around your torso and he's tucking his face into the crook of your neck.

"I love you, you know that?" You absentmindedly comb your fingers through his hair and press a kiss to the crown of his head.

"Ni kar'taylir gar darasuum." He sounds like he's already half asleep, so you nestle closer to him and let your eyes drift closed...

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Regarding the former Decepticon Scientist turned Foodtruck oc, with the arrival of the Elite Guard, Optimus or Ratchet might have let slip that they were currently on the planet and spent the last several vorns living peaceful on the Earth.

How would the Elite Guard react to hearing about the former scientists living on an organic planet to become a "sustenance provider for organics"?

-Ultra Magnus remembers the scientist all too well. Oh, he never met them in person but he saw for himself the destruction caused by their weapons. Many of his comrades died to those weapons. He's wanted to bring them to justice for years now. That's why, no matter what the autobots on Earth have to say about "redemption" and "rehabilitation", Magnus is going to arrest the con and drag them back to Cybertron. He will hold a trial and he will make sure that they are found guilty of every single charge. Magnus won't be satisfied until the con is in a windowless cell.

-Sentinel laughs at the con, straight in their face. Oh, he's heard of them, of what they did to all those autobots back during the war. He used to think they were a monster. That they were frightening. Now he just thinks they are pathetic. At least back then they used to be someone. A filthy decepticon, sure, but they had status. Power. Now? They make slop for disgusting organics. A fitting punishment, he suppose. But he's still going to bring them back to Cybertron for questioning and a trial. The higher ups will love him for it.

-Jazz doesn't believe it at first. Listen, he's read about this decepticon. The weapons they created were nothing short of devastating. They were such a high ranking decepticon too, up there with the worst. And now they're on Earth, apparently fully changed and happily making food for humans? It's... hard to believe. But Jazz forces himself to observe, even when part of him wants to handcuff them the very moment he first lays optics on them. So he watches. And watches some more. And nothing. There's no secret evil plot, no villainous scheme. The bot has truly turned over a new leaf. They regret what they did and want nothing more than to repent. They are a new mech.

So what is Jazz supposed to do now? The lawful thing to do would be bringing them back to Cybertron, to put them on trial. He could even testify for them, tell everyone what he saw. But he's not sure people would listen. Another choice is to leave them on Earth. The war is long over. They have turned their back on the decepticons. They pose no danger to anyone. But is that the right thing to do? Jazz does not know. He wants to think so though.

-Jetfire and Jetstorm are prepared to face a monster when they go to confront the ex-decepticon. They prepare for a real fight. But when they get there, they just see an old foodtruck, giving food to humans. At first they assume the food is poisoned. Look out humans! But then the customers reveal that they have been eating the food for decades and they feel fine. Huh. Well, the con is probably just trying to earn enough money to start a business empire so they can enslave mankind! What? The food is free? Ehhhhhh. Now the twins are confused. And the ex-con does not appear to want to fight either. Should they just... bring them back to the ship? Get them back to Cybertron for a trial? But everyone looks so happy! The humans with their food and the ex-con doing charity work. Maybe... they can just leave them here? They will keep an eye on the ex-con though! Just in case. But this should be fine too.

[ot3]

I do not understand your love for image genAI bc apart from the rampant theft from artists most of its uses are just. Not good like. Some people are capable of making interesting things with it but 90% of what it's being used for is like. Terrible anyways.

i don't really have any particular love for image gen AI. for starters, the styles its primarily designed to emulate are completely outside of my taste bracket and i find those types of work exactly as hollow and soulless when produced by human hands. there's a reason you don't see me going out there using gen ai for a bunch of stuff. i've never even touched midjourney. i like to draw! i dont want something to draw For me!

but here's the thing. if '90 percent of stuff made this way is crap' was a valid reason for something not existing we would have to get rid of every single art form on the planet. it's the same argument people make about booktok books - Stuff Used To Be Better But Now We Have This Sludge Factory Turning Out Fine-Tuned Consumer Slop With Reckless Abandon And It's a Threat To The Fabric Of Society

buddy ! that sludge factory is the Human Race! what you're witnessing is the lowering of barriers! the more people are capable of producing a specific type of creative work, the overall less quality there will be, because most people are not particularly skilled in creative work, or lack the taste you need to make something compelling when unskilled. that's a good thing. i would rather 99,999 people get the chance to make something i hate if it means 1 person gets the chance to make something i love that they wouldn't have otherwise been able to.

i think that the question of art theft as is done in the training of AI image generation models is a sticky one. i hate the fact that tech companies have made boatloads of money that wouldn't have been possible without a truly countless number of man hours by artists that will never see a penny of that wealth in their lifetime. but i also think the more time i spend sitting down and thinking about it and the more conversations i read on the subject, i can't view the output of these generative models as theft. at least, not without conceding a ton of ground to ideas about intellectual property that i think have been overall much more harmful to the health of the art world than AI image generation will be in the longterm.

gen AI models do not store images. they are not churning out recombination of images that have been fed into them. they were trained to analyze visual patterns in these images, associate those patterns with specific concepts, and produce new images following these patterns when prompted with the specific concept. it is fundamentally not dissimilar to how human artists learn and for me i can't in good faith view it as morally wrong on its own merits. i think where plagiarism/theft/fraud-adjacent concerns come in is 1. attempts to disguise how a piece was created and 2. attempting to create stuff that pass muster as a specific other artist's work.

but neither of these are problems unique to AI. people have been arguing about lying about how you make your art and copying other peoples styles for ages. what AI does is it VASTLY increase the scale this can happen at, because it's removing an insane skill barrier from the whole process. and yeah ultimately at the end of the day that's annoying. there are absolutely going to be repercussions on the art world the same way the digital camera impacted portraiture and the printing press impacted scribing. but ai image generation... isn't going to go away. it's just not. so i feel like developing standards for how we engage with this insane, objectively cutting edge and impressive tech, is going to make the art world much safer than starting what boils down to a fucking culture war about it.

[sanjoongie]

𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕩

🌌Pairing: Alien! Hongjoong x Future Emperor! Reader (gn with female body)

🌌Genre: smut

🌌Au: Sci-fi au, Alien Au, Royalty au

🌌Trope: s2l

🌌Word Count: 2,310

🌌Warnings: Hongjoong calls you sweetheart, oral (f), fingering (f), squirting, breeding kink, alien cock (ribbed for your pleasure), insect cock, Hongjoong has a very long tongue, begging, nipple play, creampie, rough sex, sex from behind, desperate needy Hongjoong, biting

🌌Rated: 18+ MDNI

🌌Summary: as heir to a Galactic Empire, no one stops you from doing exactly what you what--or who--but there is one man in the galaxy who is capable of pulling you in, and making you focus. As he sweeps you up in a dance at a masquerade ball, he also sweeps up your heart in the process

🌌Author's Note: happy birthday @potatomountain Ares! I decided to write you a sci-fi/alien story since you do enjoy mine so much. Also I tried to write a little bit of Rebel Ares, or perhaps, how I view you. Please enjoy your day (i really hope you don't work it 😭) and i hope this gives you a little shot of serotonin

You swept into the ball dedicated to the Aurorian Galaxy with the most rule-pushing article of clothing you could find. The shocking keyhole back had everyone gasping as you passed them and you couldn't help but smirk slightly at the wave that echoed behind you.

“Should they be…” A shocked whisper was said behind a raised hand.

“Surely not!” A firm head shake and even more disgusted frown marred the others lip.

The last thing you wanted to do was join a stuffy Galactic Ball. At least this one was a masquerade. The point was for others to mingle and for no intimidation of one's status to affect the conversations. 

However, you were here to break all the walls, so to speak. 

You grabbed a sparkling violet beverage and shot it back. You placed the empty spiral- flute glass back on the tray of the server, their jaw on the floor at how quickly you downed it.

None of the guards came for you and the crowd settled down slightly. The nobility and politicians who knew who you were gossiped and the ones who didn't were leaning in to hear who you were.

Heir to the Aurora Galactic Empire, you were whoever you wanted to be. Even your parents had given up a long time ago to make you fit a certain mold. They just hoped to be dead before your activities toppled down their Empire, whatever the future may bring with your choices.

“May I have this dance?”

You dug your heels in, encountering the only being in the room who was capable of making you halt: Kim Hongjoong, the current ruler of the planet 1117. 

The newly classified planet didn’t have a name, until the current Emperor christened it anyway. The inhabitants of the planet were… interesting to say the least. They were insect-like in nature, sporting cute little antennas on their foreheads and had multiple arms. 

Hongjoong only offered one hand while tucking the other three arms behind his back and bowing the correct degree for a king to the heir of an empire. The whispers only got louder at the motion so you thought it best to grab Hongjoong’s hand. Why not push the envelope some more this evening?

The barely-there lace mask across Hongjoong’s face did nearly nothing to hide his noble-like features. His prominently-slopped nose was obvious, as well as his pink, luscious lips quirking into a polite smile. But his eyes, all black and multifaceted were almost hypnotizing but also not hidden.

But as Hongjoong stepped on a podium that whisked dancers away, his two bottom arms pulled you close to his body as the two top held your hand and curled around your body respectively. You could feel what was hidden, his body under the suit he was wearing. 

“There are a lot of eyes on you tonight,” Hongjoong mentioned. You noted the tightness to his smile. 

You shrugged. “It’s usually like that, no matter what I do.”

Hongjoong’s antennae moved around on his head, his face a picture of puzzlement. “I do not understand you, it seems, although you lure me in with your scent.”

You blinked, not quite sure you heard that properly. “I what?”

Hongjoong pursed his lips to the side in thought. “You give off feelings of anxiety yet you carry yourself through this room like you own it.”

You laughed nervously. Uh oh, the jig was up. “I do own it.”

Hongjoong shook his head. “Do you know much about my culture?” he led with a question instead. 

You hummed non committedly. “I know your kind works similar to insects.”

The lower branch of Hongjoong’s arms tightened. “My kind has been without a queen for some time.”

You lifted your hand in the air and another spiral flute of the violet bubbly zoomed to your hand. You and Hongjoong maneuvered through the air-dancing, several platforms flitting with the classical music. You needed another drink. But that wasn’t going to stop how intoxicating you were finding Hongjoong. His conversation wasn’t what you were used to.

“Did you lose her?” You joked. 

Hongjoong shook his head. “The last queen was killed when my kind decided we no longer wanted to live at her mercy and her mercy only. But now, we cannot produce more of our kind.”

“Aw, that’s kind of sad,” You frowned.

Hongjoong shook his head. “We are not at war but I find… our culture is lacking without the youth.”

You tilted your head curiously. “Is that important to you?”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “Of course!”

You couldn't help but laugh at how passionate Hongjoong looked--and also cute. “Is there anything you can do about finding a new queen?”

“Well, you see…” Hongjoong’s eyes dropped downwards. “My senses are giving me hints that you are queen material.”

You burst into laughter, you couldn't help it. “I’m so sorry, Hongjoong. I’m used to my parents telling me that I’ll tear the galaxy apart when I inherit the title.”

Hongjoong shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t understand. Your pheromones scream that you are royalty. I am fighting my own instincts as we dance.”

“What? To make me your queen?” You laughed again.

Hongjoong’s face was so serious, it made you swallow nervously. “I would take you to my ship and leave this party. I would fill you with my seed to guarantee that the next generation was on its way. I would do many things that are not appropriate.”

You thought for barely a second before your baser instincts gave in. “I’ve never seen the inside of your kind’s ship.”

Hongjoong’s lips parted slightly. “You… do not shudder at what I say?”

“Hongjoong, there is nothing I wouldn’t love more than to leave this ball. For all its glamour and glitz, the only thing good here in this room is you.”

That was all it took to get Hongjoong to lead you away from the palace and to his ship. No guards dared stop you as you left the ball. They knew the scenes you were capable of throwing, and that would ruin the night for your parents. So they kept their eyes straight ahead as you let the four-armed alien lead you into temptation.

But once you had a taste of being adored by a four-armed man with the ability to sense the shifts in your mood, you knew there was no going back.

You braced yourself backwards against the ship’s console. Hongjoong was crouched between your legs, plying his tongue between your folds. His upper set of arms held your legs open, cupping just under your knees, while one lower arm cupped your ass and the other kept your pussy lips open so that he could tongue fuck you. 

You reached one arm between your legs, to run your hands through his fluffy, soft hair. You tried not to grab harshly, but you needed something to hold onto, some connection of more to keep it together. Hongjoong may have never ate you out before but his antenna’s stayed moving, and his technique stayed adjusting as he followed your lead. 

“So fucking good,” Hongjoong panted between your legs, like he was the one receiving the pleasure right now. 

“Hongjoong,” was all you could say, getting slightly dumb at how good you were feeling.

“I could feast between these legs all day,” he whined. 

“I could--” Another strained moan broke from your legs, “I could live with that.”

Hongjoong stuck a finger in you, then two, curling them inside of you, but also scissoring them out. Was he prepping you? 

“As my queen, that’s all you would need to do. Stay in bed, eat, be healthy and happy. And I could fuck you all the time. Fuck you full of my cum to ensure that my kind will have young again. Would you do that for me? Would you become mine?”

The combination of Hongjoong’s honeyed words and his fingers inside of you made you come undone. You squirted, thighs shaking, and crying Hongjoong’s name. He seemed to know exactly what to do to make you react the way he wanted. Did his words work the same?

Your legs slid to the floor as you slowly kept yourself upright. Hongjoong’s larger-than-life tongue was wiping his face of your juices, as well as licking between his fingers as well. “You taste fertile, sweetheart.”

“Ho-hongjoong!” You half laughed, and half shrieked. 

The four-armed man looked at you with serious eyes as he undid the belt to his pants. His blazer had been tossed onto the captain’s chair earlier. He lifted his button down from out of the waist of his pants at the same time. “Most flee at this moment. I had to take what I could from you if you too would run.”

“Flee…?”

The air was pregnant with anticipation as Hongjoong pulled down his pants. His cock was unlike anything you had ever had the pleasure of viewing before. It was ribbed and bulbous. It appeared to be the ultimate pleasure device for a cunt; it looked as if it was made to plug up a cunt so that it could pump it full of cum. 

Hongjoong’s antennae wiggled in the air nervously. “You are not…afraid?”

So, you did what any slut would do upon seeing a cock clearly made for them: you turned around, leaned forward onto the ship’s thankfully powerless console, and said, “Fuck me, Hongjoong.”

With a pathetic whine, Hongjoong moved behind you, lower hands wandering over your ass while the upper hands caressed your back. “I need you,” he whimpered.

“I'm all yours,” You whispered.

Hongjoong played the fat head of his cock against your drenched lower half before slowly pushing in. You could hear his panting as he took his time, ensuring you adjusted to him. Each time your pussy passed over another rib on his cock, you moaned at the sensation.

“So good for me,” Hongjoong cooed behind you. 

One hand was guiding Hongjoong's cock, another hand curved gently over your hip. Once he was inside of you full hilt, he leaned across your back. A hand turned your head to the side so that he could kiss you. Another played with your nipple languidly. Then, his hips receded, pulling back his cock and making you moan all over again as each rib pulled your pussy lips apart. 

It went like this for what seemed like hours. Hongjoong pushing along your pussy walls with his alien cock, making you feel each and every inch. You were in seventh heaven but from the sounds of Hongjoong’s dry sobbing, he was the one suffering. To his credit, he never asked to speed up, and he never took advantage of your nirvana state. He simply thrusted into you, aiming for your pleasure before his. 

Eventually, regardless of the snail pace, Hongjoong’s cockhead passed over the spongy part inside of you one last time and you saw stars. Pleasure lapped at every nerve, making you cry out Hongjoong’s name, because you knew exactly who had given you the toe-curling orgasm. 

And still Hongjoong was a good boy. 

“That’s it, sweetheart,” He whispered, petting your hair and wiping your brow simultaneously with his multiple hands. “My cock was built to give you pleasure, all you have to do is take it.”

“But…what about…you?” You gasped between breaths, still feeling the mini shockwaves of pleasure through your system.

Hongjoong whined and his teeth dug into your shoulder; not too hard but enough to leave temporary marks. “I only come when you allow me to. You’ll let me, right? Let me fill you up? You want me to, right?”

A person could get used to this kind of begging and worshipping. Maybe you should give up the weight of a Galactic Empire and settle for being Queen on planet 1117.

“You can come inside me, Hongjoong,” You said sweetly.

It was like a switch with Hongjoong. Where before he never took a step over the boundaries of making you come, with your permission, he was a feral beast. His pace was sloppy and his words were a mixture of whines and pleas. He was such a needy, desperate alien for you that you came a second time as he fucked your roughly from behind. 

“So good so fucking good,” he snarled. 

The slap of his skin against yours echoed in the chamber. 

“You're so wet and so warm and so tight. Need to fill you up. Need to make you mine. You're mine now, right? This ass. This cunt. Mine mine mine.” Hongjoong was clearly in another plane of existence right now but it was lovely to hear how much he wanted and needed you.

Hongjoong came with a desperate, high cry as your pussy walls convulsed around him a second time. His hips moved haphazardly against your ass, as he continued to spurt inside of you. “Just for you,” he said hoarsely. 

You felt Hongjoong pull out and take a step back and he cried out with panic as his cum began to drip out of your gaping hole at an alarming rate. He immediately wrapped his arms around your waist and pushed two, no, three fingers inside of you to push his cum back in and plug you up. 

Hongjoong ambled backwards, holding you in his arms with his fingers still inside of you and plopped back onto the captain’s chair. 

“Something to remember for next time,” Hongjoong giggled nervously. 

“Hongjoong?” You spoke up, aware that you had to say something before you fell asleep.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Hongjoong answered, his only free hand patting your head.

“I think you were successful in making me yours.”

Besides probably spoiling you for any other human you would ever encounter, sex wise, you didn’t think you’d find anyone as dedicated to you as Hongjoong was. Luckily, the feeling was now mutual.

[carionto]

Down the hatch!

Reginald was staring at the ingredients before him, all technically under the "edible by Humans" category, and grimaced. One of the Coalition aliens asked what was wrong.

"I got this running bet with Julie from accounting, whoever can make a snack with legal ingredients to make the other puke gets half of the others' vacation days. We're on round four and she almost got me last time. Now it's my turn and she hasn't even flinched from any of my previous attempts. I swear that woman has a stomach of steel. Um, not literally, a figure of speech."

The Alien nodded and noted it down on a lengthy list. Glancing at the ingredients closer, they asked Reginald what they have used in the previous "snacks".

"Uhh, let's see. The first was cookies made with Yarvonian Toadstool flour, Hla'Enkri Lizafalo Eggs, something I can't pronounce but look like pink-yellow raisins, water from, actually, Your planet of Vriel, and coated in Cortix hatching ooze."

To the Vrielian, all of that sounded like quite a splendid combination. They asked to see what else Reginald had used in detail.

"Sure, but I really went all out every time. I just don't get it. I even overcooked the second batch of fried Jalbronian Ticks, and practically served raw slop last time. I don't know what to do!"

Just as they suspected. Reginald had not used a single ingredient from Human cuisine.

"Why would I do that? We're both Humans."

Yes, and Humans are pretty much the only ones who maintain foods that are actively hostile to their own bodies, or provide such a minuscule amount of nutrients or vitamins to be effectively worthless.

"Huh... now that you mention it, the rules didn't say anything about that.

Goddammit! I could've had this in the bag from the start! Give me a sec."

He proceeded to rapidly create a concoction with milk chocolate, vinegar, oats, oysters, peppermint, liver paste, and butter. After a brief period in the oven, and covering it in onion juice, it was done.

"Thanks for the help. Those vacation days are mine! Muhahahahaa!"

As Reginald ran off, the Vrielian wondered why he didn't taste test it first, and if he actually ever did any of his other "creations". The curios ways a mind can be so focused as to miss what seems most obvious.