#pistol whip (with love tho)

[marsneedstherapy]

live laugh love chapter 52

[supernova41st]

hiii ‼️‼️ I was wondering if you could do tf2 boys (any characters you want) with Mercy from overwatch reader 😭.

Heroes never die 🪽

Tf2 x Mercy!Reader

Scout/medic

A/n: SHES BAAAACK YUH YUHH BOOM SHACKALACKAAAAA YES GODDDD. Idk what else to say other than I hope y’all missed me!! Idk what my ‘schedule’ will be but just expect more posts in the future

Medic

Do I need to say anything? You don’t fw him at all. The differences are pretty clear, moral and sanity wise.

At first he was pretty interested to have another doctor on the team. But he quickly got jealous because the mercs took more of a liking to you than because of your gentleness.

“You’re with me doctor”

“Jou got it”

“Not you ya four-eyed twap! The angel”

“Oh, thank you ☺️”

Resurrecting heavy

“Doctor! We must try this resurrection thing!”

“You too???”

He hates you now, you’re not really fond of him either. Not only does he practice medicine with no license but his procedures are so inhumane compared to yours.

“Thank my medical professionalism, Ludwig.”

“Oo Klugscheißer, miss perfect!! Fuck you.”

He genuinely thinks you’re an Angel here to make his life more difficult cuz from what I heard he’s had his fair share of dealing with satan.

He’s interested in your work but will never EVER ask you about it because of his pettiness. Will try to recreate your resurrection skills however it looked less like a resurrection and more like dragging a zombie out of its grave.

When he showed it off to you you were terrified

“Now if we just grunt just help our little subject on his feet, he’ll be as good as new!”

“Celestial! Ludwig please put him out of his misery!!”

“Vhat? Nonsense, he’s fine!”

*he says as his his subjects body collapses

He got so thirsty for you when he saw you pistol whipping an enemy scout for him, it startled him so he thought it was hot

“Whew, careful out there Ludwig”

“…please, please take my heart. I vill have it taxidermied for you and everything!”

“What 🙁”

Now he’s become obsessed, pockets you every round and the team is not thrilled about that. It is fun to see you fly around landing headshots at the enemy team tho

Scout

This man had ZERO fucking idea you were even on the team until he began a mission with you. So when he was on the edge of dying and you flew over to lend a helping hand he frl thought god sent an angel to save him.

He didn’t even say anything he was just in shock like

‘😦..I’m the chosen one’

When he got back to the base everything felt so surreal to him, but then he immediately started bragging about it cuz it’s scout.

“Omgg do y’all have a guardian Angel? 🤭No? Fucking losers”

“Are you talking about y/n?”

“Who?”

“Hello”

“..oh”

He was so let down 😭 he had a genuine ‘I’m special’ moment there

You get so tired of him so fast. It’s always something with him, he’s like a little boy always getting injured and crying to his mom to pull out the first-aid kid

“Y/n, I lost a friggin’ tooth again”

“Seriously scout? This is the fifth one this week! Next time you’re going to medic for this.”

Free my boy, he didn’t do anything wrong 😞

Loves it when you resurrect him, makes him feel like a ‘newborn baby’

“Did it hurt?”

“Scout I’m busy I don’t have time for your pick up lines.”

‘:(‘

This bitch will do ANYTHING but stay still so you can heal him. It’s like he’s running away from you??

“🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥”

“SCOUT PLEASE GET DOWN HERE!!”

“THEYRE SHOOTING 🏥”

“YOU THINK THIS IS NEWS TO ME?”

Will try hopping on you when you’re flying, it didn’t go well.

“Are you gonna heal my legs now?”

“No! That’s on you for being stupid”

“When are you gonna give me a pair of those wings doc? I was born to fly 👽”

[arcanechariot]

watching for cecil dennis (spoilers)

sure okay lets just rip off the bandaid with this one

jesus this is so hard to find a good stream of. the only one i can find atm is full of glitches and screen tearing

i actually cant find a good stream of it where i can take screencaps so ill just put my notes under the cut

oml cecil is such a baby boy 🥺🥺 hes so affectionate

can i just say real quick that brian petsos is such a bad actor? hes so unconvincing and wooden

cecil is absolutely a stoner and i wanna have slow high sex w him

dude why is elijah wood here he mustve been reeeeally hurting for cash huh

rip frodo

not the sloppy bathroom sex with cecil aaaaaa hes so cute wth

oml he whimpers i love him

no his handdddd

"that was my good hand.... now its my bad hand...."

cecil not knowing how to fill up his car hes so cute im gonna die

god this bit with the lawyers is going on faaaaaar too long

cecil is obviously bi (its the only explanation for him being so indecisive about his food order)

i love this silly giggly boy

lowkey cecil just needs a really good friend who gets high with him and gives him head sometimes 🥰🥰

the fucking sombreros (ngl im enjoying this movie way more than i probably should be)

NOOOOO THEY BROKE MY BABYS NOSE

lowkey tho watching kristen wiig getting pistol whipped was a big highlight of this movie imo

oml hes so supportive too he wants to see it through to the end cecil is the loml

that was so silly

okay i liked it a lot more than i was expecting. it was like fear and loathing in las vegas but on a shoestring budget and written by a dumbass

and yes hes going on the roster

[youre-only-gay-once]

hiiii loving the firefly liveblogging <3 truly the men in this show often suck absolute ass tho. occasionally a good moment tho. you’re coats kind of a. brownish colour. and then iirc zoe pistol whips him <3

zoe!! she's literally the smartest, coolest, most beautiful person in the world

[sonikkublue]

So Mr. H does have super speed but he chooses not to use it anymore for...reasons.

Not I'm imagining a reason why he would use it again, Name someone very, very stupid kidnapping Tails and trying to use the boy against him.

At this point people either don't know or have forgotten how fast Mr. H is so it'll probably be some young gangbanger or something that thinks he's hot shit who heard about the infamous crime lord Mr. H adopting some freak kid with two tails he lets wonder to and from school without protection and thought "I bet I could ransom the little shit and clean out that fat idiot for everything he's worth."

So he kidnaps Tails with a bunch of his boys and messages Mr. H to come to some old warehouse alone with $100M in cash "or else he'll pop the little mutant's head open like a melon."

Mr. H shows up with a brief case and tosses it over but they find it's empty.

"What the fuck is this you stupid muthafucker?" Thug askes while pressing his gun against Tails temple who's actually starting to feel scared now and is tearing up. "We told you 100 mil or the kid dies!"

Mr. H says nothing, he just gives that manic grin we all know and love, his eyes glowing green before he raises his hand and snaps his fingers.

Instantly everyone around the Thug is down on the ground, beaten and broken and Mr. H has him pinned to the ground with his own gun pressed against the back of his head.

"It seems you stupid little bastards forgot what my first name is." Before either popping him in the back of the head or knocking him out with a pistol whip so Tails doesn't see it and have his men gather everyone up so he can...deal with them later.

Tails would just be amazed that his dad can move so fast and asks him why he doesn't use his powers more often. Mr. H will just sigh as say maybe some other day he'll tell him.

That’s a cool scenario!

If it’s one thing Mr. H does want to keep away from his son finding out, is his super speed and stuff like that. And I don’t think he plans on telling him soon or what not. But there have been times to where Mr. H has used his speed to help out Miles, and his son not even noticing!

For exa a school scenario:

It’s recess and all the kids are playing by usual, tho Miles likes to be by himself since none of the other kids understand him…or like him. So while Miles is just minding his business, probably trying to plan out a little invention in the dirt, a couple kids show up and start pickin on him.

Now with what I mentioned before w/ Mr. H pulling up every-time recess starts to watch over his son, he sees that his son is gettin picked on and ofc that’s gonna piss him off. In a heartbeat, Mr. H jumps out of the car through the window! And in a blink of an eye, he’s towering over the kids pickin on his son.

Miles wasn’t even aware how his dad got from the car, to towering over the kids so fast. He’s only seen him walk over, wagging his finger at them, scolding them. So he doesn’t understand how he got there so fast.

After everything was settled tho, Miles got to go home and in the car, he asked his dad abt it. Mr. H just told him “not to worry about it.” And that has left Miles with so many questions.

[miammey]

Okay, hi, my name is Austin and it feels like no one will listen to me when I talk about the Hunting Dog’s fighting styles.

Like, idk what’s about it but just hear me out.

When it comes to Jouno, he’s usually drawn — in my opinion with a sleeper build. Like, not a lot of muscle in my opinion.

So, in that case, I feel like he uses his sword a lot but when it comes to hand to hand combat? I feel like he’s more of a Black Widow type of fighter. Like full body attacks, I feel like during sparring he’s locked Tecchou in a thigh chokehold before while punching his head.

Yes I know technically he probably has a lot of muscle from the enhancement surgeries, but also because’s he’s blind, I feel like he rely on agility and mobility rather than brute strength like Tecchou. Like add some class to it.

Like full body, all the way. Especially that spin move Natasha does?

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8q18Lhu/

Like that, he’s done it so many times before. I feel like he also uses his legs a lot, like he’s a bad habit kicker and he honed it to perfection. Like making a bad habit a good weapon.

Now, we all know Tecchou uses his sword a lot. It’s basic instinct since it’s his ability at this point. But when it comes to hand to hand combat? He’s a kick boxer. Like for real throwing hands with a little of Kuina Hikari from Alice in Borderland’s fighting style in the mix. Like, look it up on Youtube and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Teruko.

Ah, Teruko.

She doesn’t have a fighting style.

Let me rephrase that, she has multiple and she can’t pick one or choose. Her fighting style is whatever will take down her opponent faster. Boxing, Tae Kwan Do, Agni Kai, Streetfighting, Black Widow — whatever will take down her opponent, she’s doing it.

Hell, she’ll fuck around and copy their fighting style for shits and giggles.

Now Tachihara is the prime example of “packing heat.”

He brings the gun to the sword fights. He brings the gun to the knife fights because nobody is bulletproof to him. It’s all fun and games, all abilities and whatnot and he’ll forget his ability and just start shooting.

Hand to Hand combat tho? He’s a street fighter. Like, street fighter. Hands up, jacket off, hopping in place and throwing hands and putting people in chokeholds. That’s it, that’s all.

Thank you for reading this through and I hope you have an awesome day!

Ooohh yes yes yes!!! I love hearing about fighting styles, keep talking about it all you want!!! These are awesome and make total sense!!! Idk what a lot of these character’s fighting styles look like, but I get the picture through your explanations

Jouno putting his whole body into it makes a lot of sense, yes he’s fairly muscular but body-type wise he feels like he’s be a bit leaner than characters like Tecchou or Teruko (adult form). I also think that he’d just have more fun in that sense

Tecchou throwing hands is something we need more of, even without his sword this guy’s a menace and I love that

Teruko not sticking to one specific style and going with whatever works in the moment fits her character so well, she’s definitely the type to think on her feet and keep her opponent on their toes

Tachihara being a streetfighter also fits super well, especially with the gangster-personality he has in the Mafia. I also imagine if he does run out of bullets he’d just start smacking people with his gun alongside his fists lol (that’s called pistol whipping, right??)

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this, Austin!! If you have any more to share I’m absolutely down to listen!!

[ostewell]

hi. sorry not sorry for posting undertale crossover aus in 2024 but i cannot stop thinking abt this au (im putting 90% of it under the cut LOL)

anyw. malevolent undertale au. <3

(y'all are free to disagree with me abt any of these decisions, some of them were made purely because i thought they'd be funny . my ass is not taking this au seriously /silly)

uhhhhh anyw character equivalents + notes (note: most ppl are their undertale equivalents' species <3)

frisk: arthur - i feel this speaks for itself. protagonist 👍 - bandage equivalent is a necktie, stick equivalent is a broken gun (unlike the gun in hotland, his gun literally cant work at all LMAO the most he can do is pistol whip if he needs to) - he's still an adult btw bc . well . ⬇

chara: faroe - yeah <3 - older than how old we hc faroe to have been (~4), closer to ~8 - pacifist arthur is just trying to figure out what happened to her, genocide is trying to get revenge

flowey/asriel: john - flowey john is a sentient book that flips open, a plume of smoke puffing out and yellow eyes appearing - anyw thought he'd be fitting here for like . idk . it makes sense to me LOL - asriel john btw is also an adult (probably younger than arthur, but not by much LOL) - less of a brother figure to faroe and more of a. weird uncle/father-Ish figure?? idk GLJKSHFLJHSF

toriel: oscar - former clergyman turned advisor to the king <3 - fairly close to the king? at least closer than the king expected him to get (not romantic/sexual)

sans: noel - one of the "thought itd be funny"s but also kinda fitting <3

papyrus: butcher - DEFINITELY a "thought it'd be funny" (papyrus 🤝 butcher: die via head remova💥) - more fits his malevolent personality than papyrus's . by a long shot (but reading papyrus lines in the butcher's voice is fucking hilarious) - not related to noel. just 2 guys living together. for no reason. hope this helps <3 /silly

undyne: yellow - mostly thought itd be fitting 👍 also i can imagine him doing undyne's speech well - HATES being asked if he's related to the king (bc they sound uncannily similar) . /SILLY

alphys: larson - kinda thought itd be fitting mostly thought itd be funny - mew mew kissie cutie equivalent is literally just malevolent btw. (the characters have their undertale counterparts' names instead LOL). he found cds for it in the dump. he's alphys-level obsessed w/ it

mettaton: kayne - tell me he wouldnt. Tell me he wouldnt. /silly - imagine the cooking show . imagine oh my love . Imagine Mettaton Ex . - mtt equivalent keeps the hot pink knee-high heels bc i said so <3 - arthur, seeing mtt ex kayne: larson do you have anything you'd like to share with the class? (larson: )

asgore: the king in yellow - "king in yellow" is more formal, most ppl just call him hastur - pretty good king, but tends to seem cold and unaffectionate . very few people know - hired oscar to help get people's actual opinions on what sorts of things he should do bc. ppl were too nervous to go to him LOL - still a boss monster, but not goatlike! he's still a tentacle creature thing GLKJSHD <3 - created john via asexual reproduction <3 (he's aroace . to me :3)

i dont have anyone for blooky atm... i think marie as muffet would be silly tho GLKJSHFL :3

[chatange]

i treat ask games like surveys this is make me admit stuff by lost-head-adventure or smth idk its deactiviated

Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

not including messages i consider too private to share on tumblr. yes

You talked to an ex today, correct?

nope.

Have you taken someones virginity?

no i dont think so. all of my partners have been more experienced than me

Is trust a big issue for you?

yes ): im working on it

Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

i like lots of people but as far as "crushes", no not recently. i should though

What are you excited for?

my partner system to get home from work. our next grocery run. autumn. my birthday next month

What happened tonight?

i posted about that today but, other than all that, i ate some pizza... honestly i should write or record or something tonight

Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no? wasted chicks are super funny

Is confidence cute?

confidence is hot yeah

What is the last beverage you had?

a monster. i should get water or something

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

none but i dont really talk to a lot of people. only the women in my family and i cant trust them. its not about being the opposite sex tho

Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

yes

What are you gonna do Saturday night?

its sunday rn but yesterday i cried so hard i gave myself a headache and listened to a new album

What are you going to spend money on next?

probably a new microphone or sushi

Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

yes

Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yes? of course

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my partner system, but specifically mar, rich, robin, and trent

The last time you felt broken?

today at like 7pm

Have you had sex today?

yeah lol <3

Are you starting to realize anything?

being 23 aint shit. i dont know fuckin anything.

Are you in a good mood?

its alright. could be better

Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

yeah theyre chill

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

no thank gawd. otherwise id be the type of douchebag to go around calling my shit hazel.

What do you want right this second?

a haircut... jack... a punch to the jaw. (not sft text beyond this point to the end of the answer) to be dressed up in vinyl lingerie to match someone elses military gear and ride his dick while gagging on his fingers

What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

nothing. id end up in jail

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

nah i recently dyed my roots again. its black but im a natural blonde

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

usually people who arent intentionally witty are unintentionally hilarious so thats hard to picture. but if our humor just isnt compatible i mean. maybe. probably not tho that speaks to a lot of other shit

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

@fuckin-pistol-whipped's replies

Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah. sunset eyes, if this somehow gets back to you, im sorry i didnt give you a better warning. ill be back sooner than you know. it wont be months this time. i want to figure something out but i dont want to keep giving you half promises. soon, i dont know when. i love you. it means something, i swear.

Does everyone deserve a second chance?

yeah id say so

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

sometimes <3

Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

oh yeah for sure. i think we're in a situationship. maybe we're dating? idk i cant rember. god i need to see him again soon. i should watch some videos or smth

Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

nah but i usually drink diet soda. if im buying it out at like a gas station or smth ill go full sugar cuz its just a one time thing but. i think i drink two diet cokes a day. i dont always finish em

Listening to?

+ shuffle queue

Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

yeah but i prefer pen tbh. i keep like two hand notebooks a pencil and a pen on me at all times

Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

probably at his house with his cats. or with his band

Do you believe in love at first sight?

i believe in instant chemistry but love is kinda something u collaborate on. its like a living thing. ive recently figured out that two people can be in love and still wanna maim each other a little bit from time to time

Who did you last call?

@fadenkreuze but thats like a given. it was @antichristxsuperstar in front

Who was the last person you danced with?

my cat. it counts, in my book

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

we were having sex and i guess my mouth just looked that good hanging open and drooling

When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

i dont think its been a year but. it was probably springtime i wanna say-- no, late winter. valentines day cupcakes. mini ones.

Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

nah im not a hugger. he knows i like him ok tho

Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

i dont believe in embarassment. but yea sometimes i make a fool of myself. usually it makes em giggle and then its fine <3

Do you tan in the nude?

i do a lot of things in the nude but i dont tan. im goth so

If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

i dont remember it

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

yes actually it was rich. hey rich

Who was the last person to call you?

Do you sing in the shower?

yes sometimes but i sing all the time

Do you dance in the car?

Ever used a bow and arrow?

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Do you think musicals are cheesy?

no theyre an art form. i think A musical can be cheesy but not all of em. having said that ive never been a huge theater person but ill watch a bootleg every now and then

Is Christmas stressful?

it doesnt have to be but some people make it stressful. its lonely tbh

Ever eat a pierogi?

yep. theyre p good

Favorite type of fruit pie?

peach

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

equestrian, veternarian, rockstar.

Do you believe in ghosts?

"do you believe in barometric pressure" "do you believe in wool fibers" "do you believe in the oxidation of metals"

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

all the time

Take a vitamin daily?

Wear slippers?

yes and i encourage others to do so as well

Wear a bath robe?

nope too warm and humid where i am

What do you wear to bed?

the buff

First concert?

it was a festival for nu metal bands in like 2008 or something. metalfest i think it was? or something close to that name. i dont remember all the acts that played but mudvayne was there i know for sure

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

in my town theres only a walmart but i prefer target

Nike or Adidas?

Cheetos Or Fritos?

fritos are more versatile. remind me of chilis and soups

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Ever take dance lessons?

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

yeah. professional cocksucker

Can you curl your tongue?

some people cant do that?

Ever won a spelling bee?

this is a traumatizing memory for me i refuse to elaborate

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes often. usually during sex

What is your favorite book?

i hate these questions cuz then i forget every single book ive ever read. idk ill say the most recent book i read. the long hard road out of hell by marilyn manson

Do you study better with or without music?

with but it has to be instrumental or so loud its mind numbing owwww speaking of my ear fuckin hurts fuck you billy corgan

Regularly burn incense?

not anymore

Ever been in love?

Who would you like to see in concert?

obvious answers are like. mm. nin. slipknot (but like in 2002 or smth).

What was the last concert you saw?

in person? i dont even remember. its been over a decade

Hot tea or cold tea?

cold tea always preferable

Tea or coffee?

coffee. also cold

Favorite type of cookie?

sugar cookie or chocolate chip

Can you swim well?

nah

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes??

Are you patient?

extraordinarily

DJ or band, at a wedding?

either or. both? both

Ever won a contest?

nope

Ever have plastic surgery?

nah

Which are better black or green olives?

ew

Opinions on sex before marriage?

theres another type of sex?

Best room for a fireplace?

the den

Do you want to get married?

yes

[ihatebnha]

Hihihi!!! I miss coming on and seeing penis music!! but also I love your new theme babe. And I hope you’re doing better!! Even if you’re not I hope you’re at least feeling better. Either way I’m sending all the good vibes your way bc u deserve them all <3 please take care!! I love you be safe!! 💕

this message is making me scream like, "even if you're not," legend i am laughing and crying at the same time please you are WAY TOO SWEET ASDFADLskdfjsdkl...

no but i am doing better i think (and hello to u too pssh)! focusing on myself rn and going on a lot of hikes (fancy walks tbh) just to leave the house and whatnot... so things are good, i would say, except that im sad abt not writing...

but anyway,,, im sending u all the same good vibes times one billion thousand... and thank u for the theme love! honestly... dont be surprised if penis music makes a come back one day bc i feel the same

❤️🥺👉🏻🌹 (is for u)

[suchahautemess]

Rewatching the Chicago PD episode where Adam pulls his gun on an unarmed black man for no reason and being all nonchalant about it hits different in this climate. BIG YIKES

[vcnillazelda]

girl im so obsessed with soap and how just YUMMY he is atm i need u to write like a headcannon about him whispering sweet nothings and praises to like you yk Y/N omg

please im begging you and thank you if u decide to do this please!<3

johnny mactavish praising and whispering to his s/o

tags: fluff, praising, kisses, cuddles, sharing a bed, hand holding

(i agree he’s very yummy)

✞———————❖———————✞

the first time he does this is when you’re shooting a pistol

he’s pressed up behind you whispering how well you’re doing and ajdjdkfjdn his voice is just so perfect

loves whispering to you to make you flustered bc this man KNOWS how much you love his voice as well as his accent

will do it in passing too, like when you’re getting your briefing file ready he’ll walk past, lean in and whisper how hot you look when you’re concentrating

this mans love language is touch, you can’t change my mind, so whenever he’s holding onto you he’ll kiss behind your ear and mutter how much he loves you

when y’all are cuddled up in bed he’ll mumble to you about just random stuff like how his day went, how much he loves you, something simon said etc etc

it’s mainly just lovey-dovey stuff tho bc he’s whipped for u lol

if you want him to read u a bedtime story he’s down fr 😭

likes watching you fluster when he kisses your neck and whispers in your ear esp if y’all are in public bc he’s a menace

his favourite time, above all else, is when you’re cooking. he’s pressed up against you, holding you, kissing your jaw and muttering how lovely your food looks and how talented you are

he CRAVES those domestic moments

his words will always come with a light touch somewhere, it’s mainly a hand on your side or back

when he’s waking up in the morning he’ll try to bribe you with sweet talking so you guys can cuddle more <3

[wixenburr]

Im not extremely into martial arts but i have handled many weapons, felt their weight, and learned to use them so i shall elaborate on this. Honestly i think my simple understanding will make it easier to explain.. so here we go. Bo, Tonfa, Guns, & a bit of hand to hand info:

Firstly, any weapon that is club-like is going to pack a hell of a punch. Its not being smacked with sticks, no no, these are especially weighted and made to be heavy and sturdy. They hit HARD.

The bo can be a little unwieldy in my opinion because of how long it is you know? So it like gets everywhere lol. but when you have exceptional control over it, it is absolutely a very painful weapon. I remember sparring with the bo; every clack against your sparring partners bo sent a jolt up my arms into my bones. It takes a lot of finger strength and control. And hitting ur fingers or someone with them? Ohhh man. That hurts like a motherfucker.

I dont have a ton of experience with escrima sticks, but i have used tonfas! Tonfas are essentially enhanced elbow strikes and punches. Elbow strikes in the first place are HEAVY if you do them right. And with a tonfa omg easily break bone and ribs. Dont even get me started on headshots- do you KNOW how fragile you are?? I do. Im taking anatomy & brain. You are easily squished.

Now guns; i have the most experience with these. Firstly, keep in mind some guns are heavier than others, and have bigger recoil which makes for bigger impact and bullets usually. In general, once you get the hang of your weapon its not too hard to aim and fire. Getting a new gun any time means you have to recalibrate and see how it aims; break it in before you really use it.

I doubt Jason is out there using Desert Eagles every chance he gets lol, but if he were it would also be an effective force to- well. Pistol whip. Smack a bitch in the face and break their cheek n teeth probably. Tho thats not to say any other guns cant also do that; theyre all metal weapons. Heavy enough to swing and do damage.

Keep in mind there are different types of bullets. Armor piercing bullets, bullets designed to shatter under ur skin and cause more damage, bullets designed to just be big and blow you apart with their force, etc.

Anyway tho...

Lets be real

The bats could probably take 99% of people out with a simple butterfly kick. Or even just grab your hand and put you in a Z-Lock/wrist lock or armbar. Literally just grabbing your hand and bringing you down just like that.

Idk if you've ever done hand to hand sparring before, but when i was little it was STRESSFUL. I wont lie; i cried sometimes. Its a lot of violence and stimuli coming at you all at once and when you are against a skilled opponent they can literally love tap you into submission. Imagine a flurry of hard taps against the side of your head, your torso, a flat punch to the sternum, and worst of all a sudden hard kick to the head!

It takes a lot of training to get used to being in a fighting mindset, and the everyday person- even thug- are far from that. You have to think INCREDIBLY fast to keep up with someone well trained, and even then you can Easily be overwhelmed. Keep in mind, even when you are blocking punches ane kicks with say, your forearm, they still HURT. Or if you manage to sidestep/push the hit away with its own force, it is STILL another point of violence and stress aimed straight at you.

All that to say. Yes. The bats. Are scary. Fighting is scary. Depending on your personality and tolerance to violence, it can be even worse. So.... gl ig.

Edit: @froggibus mentioned nun-chucks!!! I was gonna mention these because I've used them as well but no bats do but... okay nun-chucks fucking suck to learn. Its a PAIN. They are two sticks connected by a chain or rope and you hold one and have to articulate/swing the other. Its like you swing it around to gain momentum and a bigger impact (As long as you dont hit YOURSELF ohh my goodness) and then BAM! Snap it out and you git a hard, impactful hit! But then you have to orient them again! Part of that is swinging it to gently tap your own hips on either side- that was a big exercise for me. Tap- two horizontal spins to the other hip Tap- and back and forth.

Watching people actually use a bo staff has made me realise how scary fighting red Robin would be if you were a goon or not trained to the same level. Like I don’t think I conceptualised how much it would hurt to be hit with a bo staff until I saw people twirling those thing and don’t multiple consecutive hits.

Saw a dude (who had a Robin jacket which was cool) add a flip after multiple swings and I can only imagine how much that would hurt if he actually hit someone. Not just the massive arc of a metal pole but a flip as well?!?

I don’t know much about fighting so it’s not until I actually see people with these skills that it hits me how it would actually be

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Imagine a yuu as a really crazy stereotypical cowboy

They come out of the coffin with a cowboy hat and leather boots

Azul and riddle wouldn’t need to use magic to capture grim cause yuu just whips out their rope and lassos him

This yuu would speak in the heaviest southern accent ever. Their vocabulary consists of “howdy Y’ALL” “partner” “hold your horses”

Anytime someone tries to pick a fight with yuu they demand a duel, Wild West style

Because who needs magic when you have a loaded pistol?

Yuu carries their holster at ALL times

This yuu is most confused once deuce starts talking about the live chicks in the eggs

“What’d you mean? There ain’t no damn chicks in those eggs!”

Vil loses it when he sees yuu making some sweet tea that’s 30% tea and 70% sugar

Tho they make some GOOD biscuits and gravy/syrup 🤤

Yuu has some nice arms from all the farm work they do

Epel and this yuu are besties for sure

Yuu has thought about lassoing some savannaclaw students before. Will they do it? Who knows…

American Rook...

No but i love this. Vil is screaming at them when they see greasy fried steak covered in butter with a side of chicharrones and a block of sugar disguised as tea. Jack understanding how Leona feels when Yuu grips onto their chickens and threatens to kill another wolf. Every time they smolder and give a speech, an eagle cries out.

[excadere]

with the release of catherine full body, please expect more of miss mcbride over here.

[t0rture-me]

little drabble of smth i'd like to write more of! if i continue with this story, be warned that it will include many of the normal whump stuff i write but will likely also include noncon and stuff like that. just wanted to add that warning right in the beginning! this chapter is clean tho!

[TW guns, threat of death, i think that's it? lmk if i should tag anything else!]

It was a simple job. It was supposed to be a simple job. Get in, steal some files, get out. Easy. Roman had done it a million times before without fail, so why now were they frozen in place with a gun to the back of their head?

"Well, well, it seems I have a surprise guest. You could've used the front door, darling, I just love company. And-" He paused, "I really hate dirt getting tracked in. I would've preferred you took your shoes off. You're filthy."

"Oh, my mistake. I thought the window would be quieter. I didn't want to wake you, you understand." Roman bit back, their hands raised to show they were unarmed, the files still sitting tightly in their right hand.

"Very funny, but I'm done joking. Put those down and tell me who sent you. Now." He said, the threat punctuated by the gun pushing further into the base of their skull.

"I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about." The muzzle dug in even further, pushing their head forward and Roman could feel their shoulders tense.

"Don't play coy, honey. It's not a good look on you. Last chance. Put. Them. Down." Slowly, Roman put the folders on the desk they were standing next to. "There, that wasn't so hard was it? Now- Who do you work for?"

"I don't-"

Roman fell to the floor, the back of their head throbbing from getting pistol-whipped. They groaned and tried to push themself off the ground before a crisp, polished shoe pushed down on their back.

"Wrong answer. Real shame, I hate killing my guests, but honestly. I told you it was your last chance and you wasted it." The gun cocked above them, the click nearly echoing through the room.

"Wait- wait, wait, listen-" Roman gasped, "All my work is anonymous, I swear, I don't know. Truly, I don't know."

"Do you think I'm stupid, darling?"

"It's the truth, I swear, I'm telling the truth. I did- I did my research before this, I know you're not stupid, it's the truth. You weren't supposed to be here, I-"

"Shut it." He cut them off. "You did your research on me? And you still took the job, huh? I see, you don't think I'm stupid, you're just stupid. What were you expecting? Gonna waltz right into my home and waltz right back out?"

"I-"

"I told you to shut the fuck up." His foot pressed harder onto their back. Roman wheezed, the weight pushing the air from their lungs. The weight shifted lower as he knelt down, his knee digging into the small of their back and his free hand carding through their hair before wrenching it back violently. "You're gonna regret taking this job, little thief."

bonus picrews! you can tell who is who lol

[mahalsuya]

dating mista guido headcanons

more mista content bc i love him sm.

gn! reader

CW: language! sorry i literally curse sm 💀💀

YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE DOESN’T PUT HIS HAND IN YOUR BACK JEAN POCKET SOMETIMES WHEN YOU GUYS ARE WALKING.

he also grabs your ass when he does it sometimes. he cannot resist the temptation pls.

literally made this hc list for that single one that has been in my head all week.

before dating, he’d be super smooth with you, but when it came to actually confessing and asking you out, he’d be a stuttering mess.

he is a PDA loving boy. i feel like he won’t really full on kiss you in front of the gang but he’ll give cheek/forehead kisses around them.

no shame in hugging you randomly or holding your hand tho. he has sm pride for you he’s showing that off.

HE LOVES TO HUG YOU FROM BEHIND AND REST HIS CHIN ON YOUR SHOULDER

you have to teach/help him to take care of himself.

he never really noticed he was stinky until trish pointed it out, and after that instance, he puts more effort and asks for your help when it comes to that.

he LOVESSSS when you play with his hair. and you do too.

pls those brown curly locks are irresistible you just gotta play with em.

he legit gets so relaxed and they’re so soft when he starts caring for his hair it’s so fun.

he likes laying between your thighs too. like non sexually. he’s super comfortable and on off days he’ll find himself in between your thighs LMAO.

the sex pistols are literally your children.

you guys feed them, give them attention, scold them if they’re bullying number five another pistol, and so on.

but those are its own list. WHICH you can find here!

he steals food off your plate LMAOOO he likes to feed you his food if you ask to have some tho.

sharing his theories 24/7.

“okay, tesoro, that may be true BUT ☝🏼what if…”

you actually listen to him and have full blown conversations about them which he loves and appreciates a lot.

his pet names include: caro/cara, tesoro, babe, gorgeous/handsome, princess/prince/royalty.

my boy is a simple guy. i think some dates include having an at home candlelit dinner you two made. idk it gives me mista vibes.

SLEEP>>> if mista can sleep in, he’s sleeping the hell in. and cuddling you until he has to get up. you’re stuck with him.

i can see him putting his hand under your shirt while cuddling sometimes in a non sexual manner.

has hella pickup lines/flirty puns for you. some are actually pretty smooth, but a lot of them are corny as fuck too 💀 but they’re always ones you’ve never heard before.

every time abbachio overhears one he wants to drown himself in wine.

“babe, if you were chicken, you’d be impeccable”

*snorts* “mista what the hell was that *laugh*”

abba: *silently gags*

if there’s four slices of cake left you’ll grab it to calm his peace of mind <3 despite him saying it’ll bring you bad luck

he is SUCH a cuddle bug it’s so cute. he likes burrowing his face in your neck, inhaling your scent while you’re in his arms. super clingy in a good way.

he’s always next to you during missions to make sure you’re safe.

TICKLE WARS PLS. he’d initiate them most of the time but at times when you initiate them, and you run away, you end up losing bc he always catches you.

knows literally anything about films and movies. like he’ll know anything about the movies you two watch together.

mans is good at advice. like he may be very laid back and carefree, but he’s really serious in certain situations like battles or things that are bothering you. he’s good at comfort and is SUPER SUPPORTIVE.

all in all, mista is such a flirty, sweet boy and is absolutely whipped for you. (simp /j)

jjba masterlist