#anyway enough abt me bc i really do hope ur well and safe too!

[crazysodomite]

i study gamedev and today's lecture was on the origins of the stealth genre... got to nerd out about constantine's mansion 😁 i mostly know abt the series from watching a friend play thru the first game but it was still very heartwarming to see it discussed! i have special permission from my prof to help and edit his presentations for future students (bc im a game history n genre nerd) and given ur the resident tumblr thief expert in my eyes, i wanted to ask what interesting facts should we mention abt the series' mechanics and their influence on the genre? what would a true thief fan like to not be overlooked in the genre wide discussion? sorry if it's a confusing question, i just like hearing people nerd out either way...

also just seeing u mention it in any context makes me very happy inside, brings back good memories :] did you know the stealth genre started with a prototype game about shoplifting? it then got bought by taito and turned into the 1980 lupin iii game!

umm i feel like im too doopid to really do thief and its mechanics justice... i dont think im a thief expert just a thief fan... i haven't played a lot of other stealth games except thief so it's hard for me to judge and compare!

one of my favorite analysis videos on thief from a person who just uploaded this banger and was never seen again...

i think nowadays the 'safe bet' is to not create anything too difficult or challenging for the player, sometimes rudimentary stealth mechanics are included to 'be an option' but stealth as an actual genre is pretty dead right now.

it's hard to imagine a game being created nowadays focused mostly on stealth, with complex mechanics and large sprawling levels without a minimap and objective marker pointing you where to go.

i think a lot of these things can be accessibility features or just things developers include to avoid player frustration. after all someone is probably going to get upset and quit the game if they spend hours walking around the map not understanding where they're supposed to go.

but in the end the levels themselves should be constructed to be able to be navigated without objective markers and minimaps. for example i rarely even look at the included map when im completing a thief level because i just kinda expect to complete the level and figure out what to do simply by exploring, listening to conversations, reading notes, paying attention to the environment, etc. though i do really appreciate being able to see which room i'm currently in on the map like in thief 2...

and i'm not even gonna lie i looked up guides for certain levels in thief because i couldn't figure out what to do, but i would rather have this point of frustration instead of a game i can just turn my brain off and press buttons at random to complete, that doesn't respect my intelligence at all. and thief games are far from perfect, especially since the devs were rushed and the company ended up going bankrupt, that's why its especially sad to not see any real thief successors or even an actual demand for a good stealth gaming experience.

there's a reason the community around thief is still going strong, developing FMs, discussing the game, creating huge campaigns, porting the game mechanics to a newer engine, etc. if the skeleton of thief wasn't good enough to warrant such a long lifespan none of that would happen! thief is so good, despite being a game literally older than me, that people would prefer to play a thief fm instead of whatever 'stealth mechanics' the newest AAA game cooked up. anyways heres my santances i hope you like them.

i would love for mechanics introduced in thief to be built upon with newer technology. for example more robust dynamic light mechanics like those introduced in deadly shadows (not pushed far enough sadly... but the possibilities are so exciting) as well as more robust audio and various other improvements that could be made if there was actual interest in stealth games anymore... i mean hell a lot of people who made FMs for thief went on to make other games (dishonored) but then those games still don't really hit like thief does.

okay im just gonna highlight some points bc i genuinely do not possess the capability to write in english. gets scared

I think an interesting comparison can be made between the light gem from thief and like, the 'detection meter' some games with 'stealth mechanics' have nowadays. What does the light gem do? It shows which light level you're currently in. There is predictability and consistency in how enemies react to you at different light levels. Your Actual Skill matters, not what perks you chose on the progression tree or what 'stealth skill' you used on your character. If you're at the lowest 'hidden' light level you are basically safe from enemies unless they walk into you and you can plan your next movement, if you're in a higher light level you need to pay close attention to enemies to not get spotted. Can you actually play the game without the light gem? I think yes, since your detection is mostly sound-based cues, and the light gem simply gives the player concrete information to play better and get predictable, skill based results. The 'detection meter' is there because most games don't really have light/shadow mechanics or robust stealth-based enemy AI. You need to visually show the player they've been spotted because in most games the sound design is not catered to stealth and you won't hear an enemy seeing you, or the level design is constructed in a way where you will be spotted by someone looking at you from across the map and not understand where that came from, etc. Frankly in most games you're not even put in situations where you can weave your way around enemies, follow them, sneak around them, etc. You can either press a button to knock them out from behind, or you 'discover' a passage that allows you to bypass all enemies since stealthing 'on the ground' is literally not possible because of the AI that like, spots you based on proximity and nothing else. Or there's like, a meter that goes up the longer you stay around the enemy before they spot you, etc.... You don't feel like you make your own stealthy way, using the tools and circumstances you've been given, and instead you just 'discover' the pre-determined 'stealthy way' intended by the devs.

Sound. I probably can't even name a game where sound matters more than in thief. Sound information is as important as visual information in thief. You can tell which specific level of alertness an enemy has simply by their voicelines. Different floor materials make different sound levels (which may not be super realistic, but it's a sacrifice thief makes for the sake of gameplay), different speeds you move at make different levels of sound, your items and arrows make sound, enemies can use sound to alert each other, etc. An enemy doesn't need to see you to be alerted, and you can hear how many enemies are in a room, what direction they are coming from, and if it's safe to come out of a room based on sound proximity. Also you can press your ear against a door to listen. I genuinely can't name another game that utilizes this.

Okay ummm.... Thief mechanics are robust enough to allow for all kinds of different playing styles. You can use your tools or you can not use any of them at all, you can knock everyone out or go completely undetected by anyone, the thief community makes up their own rulesets for playthroughs not intended by the devs at all, but those are still possible and fun to do.

Stop with the 3rd person view camera. More leaning from a corner and listening to your enemies, less 3rd person camera where you can see enemies while being completely safe and undetected. The first person view is extremely important to thief in my opinion, and adds an incredible amount of immersion. Also, thief never fucking takes away control from you to play an animation or a quick time event!!! It's infuriating when games do that !!!

Even dishonored, a game i actually really enjoyed, is still really lacking in stealth. You spend most of your time perched up on weirdly placed objects above your enemies that make it safe for you to basically teleport from place to place while being undetected by enemies. Dishonored has more of a focus on actually engaging and killing enemies, which imo is really unnecessary. I should actively avoid engaging with enemies in any way in a stealth game. In a perfect stealth game, no enemy sees or hears me at all, while i can still weave around them and pick their pockets, complete all my objectives while exploring a wide map that makes sense and is rewarding to explore, and be able to get out unscathed...

here are my new sentences 😁

[asquinate]

In light of recent events I have only one thing to say to you all, *AHEM*

(spoilers ahead for the anime only enjoyers, best avoid this :])

Also bkdk thoughts ahead for my followers who don't care for it, I don't know how many there might be, but just to be safe and considerate to you,

IF YOU THOUGHT ONE PUNY CHAPTER WOULD BE ENOUGH TO STOP ME YOU'RE MORE DELUSIONAL THAN DUDEBRO TWT THINKS I AM. YOU CAN PRY BKDK FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS. CANON IS MY BITCH AND I DO WHAT I WANT. I DIDN'T SPEND THE LAST EIGHT MONTHS, NEARLY A YEAR, ENJOYING THESE TWO MORONS IN SO MANY DIFFERENT AUS, SCENARIOS, FICS AND FANARTS FOR SOMETHING AS WEAK AS ONE CANON CHAPTER TO STOP ME. THESE TWO LOSERS ARE MY DOPAMINE AND YOU CAN TRY TO PRY BKDK FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS, BUT I DOUBT EVEN THEN YOU'LL MANAGE IT.

anyway it's late and I'm being lols rn. But I just wanted to put my vibe out here bc I see a lot of ppl being depressed. And while I see why, I also want to put something else not depresso out there too. In the effort of being brief, I will not be stopping making Bkdk or MHA content. And it's not going to be cheating fics or stuff like that. It will be the same soft shit I signed up for. With my other fanon joys like the vestiges and dfo. It doesn't have to be canon for me to enjoy it. This blog will stay pretty consistent with how it has been for the past almost year now. MHA with an Izuku focus and a love for this ship. With other additions, so don't expect any changes from me. Other than more fics in the future. (The Bkdk big bang is coming out in the future as well so…😁). I may be slightly more vocal Abt my liking this ship but I feel like y'all could tell that b4 so?

‼️‼️I WILL be blocking haters or things that don't make me happy bc I'm here for a good time, not to be upset. I am avoiding TWT and all discord servers that I'm apart of that feature MHA for the time being. For my sanity and also watching everyone be sad is bad for my mental health and fandom is about the joys not the losses. At least for me. Also I'm really sorry to the people who feel like the joy they had from this fandom has been stolen from you. Your feelings are valid, but I'm not going to let the haters get another win from me. I hope you all are well and feel better if you're not.

Final notes: BKDK is still canon to me. Katsuki and Izuku are still my favs. 431 isn't real to me, idk what ur talking about? That's a non canon one shot for sure. Aus are my loves, and I won't let this bring me down. I'm actually vibing. Y'all the fics are so good. I may make a rec list fr. Many well wishes to you all, have a good day/night.

[rollercoasterwords]

HI RAE OMG

so firstly the last chapter of atwmd was amazinggg like the wolfstar scene under the stars felt so tender my heart got split open. and the way sirius internally kinda realized that others actually understand the danger they're in and they still choose to trust james in order to defeat voldy?? and he thought maybe he was just a coward??? sirius nearly drowning and reg worrying about him? the stuff with lestrange? ahhh i love the way you write (i hope my girl lily is safe tho the stuff with the potion scared me out)

AND AND AND my housemate got me into supernatural last week and i. am. having. a. brainrot. what tf did they put into this show? siblings always get to me but the winchesters? and their dysfunctional family dynamics? dean's protectiveness gets me as having a younger brother and the way sam wants to get away and go to college despite his family gets me as well as a younger sister. i can see from both their views and it's raw and it's painful but also the way they only really have each other and the way they love and care, the desperate protectiveness and not being able to leave one another yet sometimes not being able to stay too. i just can't get enough

ANYWAYS hope ur okay and also hope the stuff with the hospital bill has been handled! have a gn!!

hello!! tysm so happy u enjoyed the ch <3 one thing abt me i love 2 have 2 characters stargaze & tell stories...love a little story within a story etc...unfortunately lily is not safe rn bc none of them are safe rn <3

and omg YAY supernatural convert...i've just started s8 rn it truly is. SUCH a crazy show. honestly better than i was expecting considering how much i've heard people talk abt how bad it is lol. so far my impression is that s1-5 were definitely the strongest (s3 was my fave) and i have not been as impressed w s 6-7....s8 not off 2 a very strong start either but i persevere...& yeah the brother relationship/family dynamic. SO good also i simply do think dean winchester may be the character of all time. whatever that may mean for us....

[ihatebnha]

Hihihi!!! I miss coming on and seeing penis music!! but also I love your new theme babe. And I hope you’re doing better!! Even if you’re not I hope you’re at least feeling better. Either way I’m sending all the good vibes your way bc u deserve them all <3 please take care!! I love you be safe!! 💕

this message is making me scream like, "even if you're not," legend i am laughing and crying at the same time please you are WAY TOO SWEET ASDFADLskdfjsdkl...

no but i am doing better i think (and hello to u too pssh)! focusing on myself rn and going on a lot of hikes (fancy walks tbh) just to leave the house and whatnot... so things are good, i would say, except that im sad abt not writing...

but anyway,,, im sending u all the same good vibes times one billion thousand... and thank u for the theme love! honestly... dont be surprised if penis music makes a come back one day bc i feel the same

❤️🥺👉🏻🌹 (is for u)

[gogolstoelicker]

Yahoo ! Can you make this please ?

The dorm leaders, vices and the rest reacting to Ace having a powerful Unique magic more powerful that malleus (if it's too much you can only do the dorm leader (if you don't have ideas here is one)

Ace Unique magic is rabbit hole : He has a shadow who can crontrol a person shadow so he can controle the person, the shadow may take a person apperence, personality and magic so the shadow go to Ace and be in him so Ace can be that person, personality and their unique magic and last the shadow can make himself a hole when a person fall in it they gonna live a cruel nightmare and gonna be tortured mentaly and Ace gonna be there to watch them

Hope it is ok ! 😊

Twisted wonderland reaction to Ace's unique magic

ace may be an ass but hes not an ass ass alright

Warning: slight spoilers for book 6

Note: •im sorry if it doesn't reach ur expectations since uh i barely mentioned abt what his UM is like or just him using it on someone💀i genuinely can't see ace using his UM to harm someone unless ofc someone he cared for got their safety threatened or for his own safety

•also sorry if i got the UM kind of wrong? or if the parts are short💀

Heartslabyul:

he most likely won't use his unique magic to harm someone🤔well at least i hope so💀

so lets say riddle is safe (kind of)

pretty sure ace got enough revenge by punching him anyway

he just plays pranks do not worry!:D

imagine riddle being woken up in the middle of the night just to see some random shadow who looks like him

ace got collared in the morning btw

deuce is... deuce

at first he goes 😰😰

but then he goes 🤬y🤬you think that scared me⁉️

and then went back to fistfighting with ace

maybe tho maybe ace will like play around with his UM to scare them🤔but that's all

oh right speaking of which, he'll surely brag abt it 24/7

"yeah ok thats ur unique magic but have u seen mine?"

but if we're being frfr💯, his own ability scares him sometimes💀

like ace??? getting THIS big of a responsibility??? damn that makes him wanna sob

ace when he found out abt his um:

it lasted for about a week before he finally went "maybe this isn't so bad yall‼️‼️"

cater was like yikes but lemme take a quick selfie

^it got viral and that's how everyone else found out too

hehe oops -cater before running off

ace doesn't care much??? hey hes getting famous, sounds like a win for him

now he walks around school with people being scared of him

at first he went 🤩😘🤷‍♀

but then after a few weeks he went😁😟😔

bc people are avoiding him and its kind of sad????

thats when his bros from heartslabyul comforted him

a small tea party for them‼️‼️ with the bros from ramshackle dorm too‼️

this may sound like a surprise since ace pranked him nonestop but riddle is the one who planned it

deuce brought it up and cater said lets cheer him up

and then riddle went "leave the planning to me"

trey made the best pastries

even put a small word of motivation for him ontop of it

ace sobbing in his pillow at night /pos:

trey seeing it while walking around the dorm checking on the freshmen🤨⁉️

leona goign RAWF RAWR GRR bc THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HIM🤬

Savanaclaw:

oh well he can't do anything abt it

so the most ace will get from him is😡 looks

ace: ?????

"i dont think I've pissed anyone from savanaclaw off lately🤔"

ruggie would be cautious around ace

all bc he doesn't wanna get tangled up on smth he can't handle

other than that he's still the same as ever😘

maybe he'll think twice before stealing from ace but

hey if he doesn't know its u, he can't do anything abt it amirite⁉️

jack is shocked bc like

wow that troublemaker friend of mine is THIS strong🤔u really can't underestimate people

overall a supportive friend

not scared❌will knock ace out if he do smth against his morals

will invite ace to practice with him

he said "so that u can control that better"

and smth abt how he can still be stronger anyway🤔so why stop now🤔

ace sobbing bc jack actually woke him up at 5am or smth just to practice

Octavinelle:

the dorm that's on thin ice

one wrong move and ace gon use it on them woops💀

floyd chase him around sometimes for shits and giggles

in a good mood that is

hey he just wants to see ace lose his cool and use hid UM alright‼️

although most of the times, ace FORGOT what his UM was when he saw floyd chasing him💀

bro still got that unhealed trauma from book3

its ok ace its better than jade at least⁉️

bc hes officially jade's test subject💀

sometimes he just

control jade to go far FAR away from him

but hey it works at least⁉️

and it kind of satisfied + pissed jade off bc like

one. he can't do his usual mushroom test subject plan

two. he kind of got to see the UM and test it for himself so like🤗

azul? he is curious🤗

goodluck to ace for having to deal with menaces all day long

ig its a price to pay for being a menace himself

azul wants to know how it works + how it'll benefit him + how to get ace to work for him etc

so ace will sometimes see azul studying him fron afar

ace probably: 😟 (unhealed trauma yknow)

Scarabia:

kalim does not care or fear him💀

HE DOESN'T EVEN FEAR MALLEUS WHAT DO YALL EXPECT

would literally run up to ace and ask him abt his UM out of curiosity

with jamil trying to stop him bc ‼️DANGER‼️HELLO‼️⁉️

i don't think ace can use his UM on kalim tbh

bc like we all know kalim's intention is pure💀ljke he would never approach someone with bad reasons

so ace lowkey got his conscience stabbed whenever he even thinks of using his UM on kalim

if he ever did🤔

jamil tho? maybe he would after careful consideration

HELOKELSMLSKA

i didn't mean this in a mean way (i think)

im just saying he would use it on jamil as a way to get back at him

say there's this strategic game and he loses

he'll use his UM on jamil for shits and giggles

careful not to harm him ofc💀

he better run tho bc jamil will surely give him a nice beating for that

Pomefiore:

🌟welcome🌟 to ace's new stalker kind follower🙏✨ROOK HUNT✨🙏

we all expected this come on

look at rook, now look at me in the eyes and tell me he won't follow ace around after finding out abt his UM

rook heared it and went "THAT IS VERY INTERESTING😍" and from then on, ace's nightmares started

actually tried to scare rook off with his UM but it backfired

bc not only did rook got more interested, he also follows him even more now:D!

vil did sternly told rook to lay off stalking ace but

but hey will rook ever listen to that?

mhm

speaking of vil, he doesn't care much

tho he does encouraged ace to learn how to control his UM better for his and the people around him sake

epel however took this as an inspiration

if THAT ace got to be strong, then surely he can too‼️

will never ask ace to teach him tho (that'll flare up ace's ego)

sometimes wishes he can have that UM so he can protect the people around him better rather than with his UM

(its ok epel u can use ur UM to help protect my sleep schedule)

Ignihyde:

oh yikes idia def doesn't wanna get tangled up with ace lmao

its ok its a nice UM but pls don't bother him😘

he did nothing wrong in this life, pls don't EVER use that UM on him🤗

ortho however, while cautious abt it, is pretty happy for ace

like wow his friend got THIS strong⁉️congrats⁉️⁉️

will do daily checkups on ace just to make sure he's not overdoing it

will suggest to ace for him to train more so he can control his UM better

even offered ace he'll train him himself💀

ace ain't getting any rest now from the constant training and schoolwork

its ok it can't be that bad amirite

ignihyde is probably the shortest one of all but oh well, bear with me here

Diasomnia:

sebek is ofc the first one to find out

the first years bros will always find out first‼️

he is BEYOND shocked💀

like damn THAT ace is stronger than his master😰⁉️are we sure we're talking about the same ace here

angrily rants about it during teatime in the diasomnia dorm

lilia have heard of it too!

how u may ask? teehee, thats a secret

doesn't make a big deal out of it tho

he likes how ace can surpass his own expectations tho^^ lowkey makes the old man happy for some reason

silver does not care sorry HELP

he's busy trying to stay awake already, u can't blame him for not caring abt this newfound information

malleus is pretty surprised when he heard of it

probably the last one to hear abt ace's UM💀

bc sometimes hes not invited to those tetimes

he either hear it from sebek one day bc they saw ace

or from the mc bc the mc needs someone to rant to abt how thry couldn't believe of all people, ace is the one who's the strongest among their gang

while he is surprised, i don't think, he'll care much??🤔

i mean hes not even friends with ace. what do u expect

well i mean there's some hope for him tho

bc like ace is feared now too😁so do u think he can be his friend too since they experienced the same thing😍😘⁉️PLEASE.

nothing is more important to malleus than invitations and friends /j

Ramshackle:

ah yes, ace's 2nd dorm

he basically THRIVE on scaring the residents there (the only 5 residents) with his UM

will brag to grim about it daily

and will absolutely use it on grim for shits and giggles

grim clawing him after:

mc absolutely not believing ace is the strongest

still support him tho‼️good for ace ig

ace brought out that maybe he should be the prefect for heartslabyul/ramshackle and absolutely getting his ass kicked out

like u ungrateful swine🤬i let u sleep here when u don't wanna face ur dorm leader and this is how u repay me🤬⁉️

ace thought it was hilarious btw

he had fun scaring the mc and grim with his UM too

absolutely teams up with the three ghosts to scare them both

got his ass grounded after LMFOAOAOAOA

[sorikkung]

Hey, so I read your post about including more gender neutral reader insert fics on writing blogs, and the only reason I haven't done so is because I have no idea how to write smut for a gender neutral reader. Because obviously they don't identify as either gender, but their body has either male or female genitalia, but if I write them as having female genitalia, then people will think it's a female reader insert fic. I was hoping you could help me out here.

i can absolutely help, thank you for reaching out to me! it's really nice to see people consciously making an effort to include everyone <3

so here's my comprehensive guide to writing gender neutral reader insert smut!

for the record, i invite people to add anything if you think i've missed something helpful! reblog to save a writer's life <3

smut is tricky to do gender neutral, so it is entirely acceptable to say gender neutral reader and specify their genitalia, as gender =/= sex. you'd want to label that at the start though, so like [member] x gn!afab!reader or gn!amab!reader depending on which parts you choose.

in case you don't know, afab means Assigned Female At Birth and amab means Assigned Male At Birth, so it specifies the biology without necessarily implying a gender identity. agab = Assigned Gender At Birth.

if you don't want to specify the reader's assigned gender at birth, that's doable too! it'll be a little more vague, but everyone has a hole and a part that's sensitive when touched, so it can be worked with. if the reader is bottoming, just maybe cut out the descriptors of being wet from being worked up and replace them with some actual prep with lube. instead of pressing circles on their clit, something vague like slipping a hand down or putting their mouth on their pants/between their legs works too. when the reader tops, you can just describe a dick and the reader can imagine if it's a real one or a strap-on, so long as you don't describe it hardening vs going soft or actually ejaculating.

that'd be my number one tip for writing gn smut without a specified agab - don't be afraid to leave it up to the reader's imagination! if they're old enough to be reading smut, they should be able to put two and two together. you don't need to specify the details of every individual action. something as simple as "he sank down between your legs and put his mouth to work, obscene sounds filling the air" or idk maybe less lame sounding than that but like point is. you can omit a lot of specific vocab by giving enough context clues.

alternatively, if everything is strictly anal that's always gender neutral. LMAO.

cleanup scenes are also important and imo not written enough tbh. if ur not specifying the readers agab its even More important bc if a reader was imagining it with a dick, there'd probably be cum somewhere, and even if not, there's always some kind of fluid alright just get a wet wipes in there or smth like it only needs to be a sentence or two but thats a personal pet peeve of mine, lmao.

other things to consider would be replacing any mentions of breasts or boobs with just chest - amab folk can still like their nipples played with, so that's safe and fine, but no bras or binders mentioned ideally as that can be implied when the reader undresses anyway. even if you are writing an afab reader, if they're still gender neutral, it's safer not to write abt boobs since most afab non-women get chest dysphoria and its not fun. lmao.

as for dialogue, this is the easy part. there's plenty of gender neutral pet names like baby, sweetheart, love, angel, kitten, etc, that you can utilise, but you'll want to be careful if you're going into the explicit dirty talk kind of dialogue. we'd want to avoid things like "you're so wet/hard for me" if you're not specifying an agab, alternatives could include "you're so sensitive/responsive for me" or if you want to be real vague, a simple "aww, all this, for me?" gets the job done as well.

if you are specifying their agab, it's still totally okay to include that in the dialogue, too, as its not inherently gendering them to talk about their parts. i'll reiterate that sex =/= gender, men and nb folk can have a pretty little pussy and women n nb folk can have a massive veiny cock too, or whatever else tickles your fancy. just avoid calling them a good girl/boy or anything like that, alternatives could be like... idk good pet, or just simply "that's my baby."

lmk if you guys want and i'll write up a gender-neutral smut dialogue prompt list for yall, that could be fun. or if you have any questions, whether that be for writing specific scenes you dont know how to word or if you want tips on writing gender neutral reader inserts outside of smut, my inbox/dms are always open for that too <3

[angeltrapz]

I watched the last key just to read ur fic first off, second off, tell me about the Intricate Rituals tm of lawrence and adam

CRIES??? YOU WHAT??? anon pls that is literally so sweet omg... I've never had someone tell me that b4 but I'm sitting here beaming. I hope you liked it/it helped things make more sense!!!!! <3

Okay so. Intricate Rituals™️. They actually have a few. (Touch is a VERY big part of Adam's love language in particular, so you know... intricate rituals that allow you to touch the skin of other men...)

On the mornings that Lawrence has to go to work, he will always kiss Adam's forehead before he leaves, no matter what. Even if Adam's not even awake yet (and let's be real, he probably isn't... not a morning person whatsoever). Does he need to, technically speaking? No. Does he feel uncomfortable if he doesn't + will it bother him for the rest of the day? Yes. I've touched on this before but in any scenario where Lawrence ends up with Adam, he is much more open with his love and, in turn, with his affection. He tells Adam he loves him often, shows that he loves him often; beyond that, I like the idea that he's just a hopeless romantic at heart, and having the life he's always wanted deep down, even if the circumstances were far less than ideal, well... Adam brings it out of him, what can he say? So he always makes sure he kisses his boyfriend's forehead before he goes to work. (And he lets Adam call him/he'll call Adam sometimes on his lunch break just to talk... not every day, but often enough <3)

On the mornings where neither of them have anywhere to be/anything to do, though, Lawrence can often be convinced to stay in bed for little while after they both wake up because, as he's long since learned, sleepy just-woke-up Adam is very, very cuddly. Literally all he has to do is just be like "Please?" and kiss at Lawrence's jaw a little bit and every single time, without fail, Lawrence will just sigh and be like "I suppose..." But make no mistake, he loves it just as much. I think both of them are very like... unused to touch? Especially like this - cuddling purely for the sake of cuddling, no emotional distress to be spoken of, it's purely just to hold each other because they can... this extends to more than just the morning, too; Lawrence's hand on Adam's lower back or his shoulder or his knee when they're close, Adam keeping an arm around Lawrence's middle or leaning against his shoulder or resting his head against Lawrence's back from behind. Adam is definitely more inexperienced with this kind of affection than Lawrence is, but they're both starving for it and if the opportunity presents itself, neither of them will turn it down. Shameless plug but I've written a fic abt this particular concept!

Anyway! Once they get out of bed, though, Lawrence will start a fresh pot of coffee for Adam + Adam will get Lawrence's morning cup of tea ready (it's so funny bc Larry can't stand coffee and Adam has yet to try a flavour of tea he likes... the things they do for love). Lawrence typically makes breakfast for them on these days, because Adam isn't at full capacity yet and because Larry honestly doesn't mind doing so; he kind of likes being able to do that for Adam honestly? Adam has issues with eating (i.e. doesn't eat many meals, doesn't eat with regularity, often feels nauseous + unable to eat, usually eats the same foods... part of that is, naturally, that he's autistic, but also because he's gone so long eating so little that it takes him a while to adjust to the fact that Hey, I Don't Have To Do That Anymore), and Lawrence is very familiar with those issues, so to see Adam eating like three blueberry pancakes and enjoying them makes Lawrence just 🥰 bc he knows it's hard for Adam.

So Lawrence will be at the stove, watching to make sure he knows when to flip the pancakes, and then Adam will walk up behind him and wrap his arms around his waist and lay his head against his back. Sometimes he just rests there, sometimes he leans up a little so he can leave kisses on the back of Lawrence's neck, but the motive is always the same: touch. Lawrence might not say anything in acknowledgement, but he'll always lean back a little bit in Adam's arms to just be like hi, I know you're there, I love you. And they'll stay that way for a while, because why not? They've earned this gentleness, this tenderness, have they not? Eventually they know they'll have to separate so that they can get plates out and silverware and such, but while Lawrence is cooking, they're content to stand and sway a little together.

Another example of Lawrence's romantic tendencies is he'll pull Adam's chair out for him. I firmly think Adam wouldn't care for this if it were Anyone else, but he'll just smile at Lawrence and thank him and sit down because the fact that Lawrence wants to do things like that for him, something so simple but that speaks volumes... he really, really appreciates it. When they sit down he'll knock his ankle against Lawrence's under the table just because he can and Lawrence will do it back and they'll be sitting there grinning like fools bc!! It's so silly but it makes them so happy? And I think they deserve to be silly sometimes. Again, they've earned it.

Um!! Another big one is what they do before bed every night. So when Lawrence gets home from work, after he's had a little bit of time to relax, Adam will herd him into the bathroom and help him to sit on the edge of the bathtub, help unstrap his prosthetic, and he'll get out the special basin + soft washcloths they have specifically for this reason and he'll help Lawrence wash his stump. It's something that Lawrence used to hold so much shame over it, refused to accept any sort of help + made things harder for himself (which I've touched on in my reply to an ask frm @1ceblock), but at one point Adam found him struggling with it and was just like. "I've got this, it's okay. I want to help you. Will you let me help you?" and that's how this little ritual came to be. Once he's done and he's made sure the stump is properly dry, he'll press a kiss or two there and it will always make Lawrence sigh and smile because Adam doesn't have to do that. He does it because he wants to. That means a whole lot to Lawrence, and he always makes sure to let Adam know by kissing him before they leave the bathroom.

After that, once they've changed into their pajamas and are comfortable, Lawrence will get out whatever novel he's been reading lately and settle back against the pillows, and Adam will rest his head on his shoulder and sling an arm over his waist and just. Let out the biggest sigh. He always does, and he does it because he's warm and comfortable and happy and because he loves Lawrence, and Lawrence will rest his cheek against Adam's head and they just lay like that for a while. Sometimes if Adam's interested, Lawrence will read out loud so Adam can hear too, because he's often too tired to read along. They can stay like this for a good hour and a half, honestly. Sometimes Adam falls asleep like this, feeling safe and contented, and it always warms Lawrence's heart. It makes him so happy to see Adam so relaxed just because they're close.

Eventually though, when Lawrence is finally done reading for the night, one of them will pull the other's back to his chest (they act as big/little spoon interchangeably) and whoever it is being big spoon will also put his arm around the other's middle. Of course they stay as they are if Adam's already asleep, because Lawrence doesn't want to wake him up if he's sleeping well, but if not, it depends on who wants to be held more. It took Lawrence a Long time to admit he wanted Adam to do that sometimes, but once he got the hang of it, he's completely unashamed about it; Adam doesn't mind at all + honestly finds it kinda sweet, actually. Again, that kind of thing wasn't exactly smth Lawrence allowed himself before Adam, so it's unfamiliar territory for a good while, but he finds himself quite at ease with it with time <33

Other than those particular tendencies it's the little things; sitting hip-to-hip on the couch despite having plenty of room Not to do that, one resting his head on the other's thigh while they're watching TV/a movie, bumping hips while doing the dishes, stuff like that. They're both a level of touch-starved (Adam more so than Lawrence, I think), so they're kind of navigating this together and are more than happy to indulge in it whenever the opportunity arises.

[latinozevran-archive]

okay finally making thorough post abt sgrs ending for just future reference for anyone if they are interested in watching bc i do think its important to know first.. tried to keep it as spoiler free as possible other than the obvious and sry for the length kajshdf but anyways i am going to put the rest under a read more ♥️ and cw incest mention

ok i am gonna try to make this as comprehensible as possible i have had a few stabs at this already w friends so hope this goes well bc there's a lot to unpack abt this but the first thing to understand abt it is 1) imo the twist u are given is ABSOLUTELY a fucking lie and given the amnt of times i have now seen the show i feel very confident in this, and 2) it is a very easy scene to note the start of and then skip which i will mention @ the end..

all right so no stalling getting into the twist itself and then uh. explaining after. but first assuming no context for what sgrs is about:

the story is largely abt like family what it means etc following the course of one mans life! he has an adopted daughter child of ex-beard and ex-man he was in love with his whole life who passed away and they have a very complicated difficult relationship and a major part of s2 is about them beginning to repair that as they both get older and what happens when she has a baby and he actually finds himself unexpectedly loving being a grandfather and it being like his second chance to have a child in his life and treat him with the warmth and kindness he failed to show his daughter when she was younger but also just spoiling him rotten in true grandparent fashion askfhksndbf... it is all very sweet and moving. thing abt mr baby is his mom has him on her own no father in the picture it provides at one point an explanation for who the bio father may be with somewhat of an implication that may not rly be who it is i am so sorry if you can already see where this is going promise there will only be like one more sentence of this and then i can explain AKSJD.

THUS the mind numbingly evil bit is a side character at the end going up to the daughter years after protags death and going wink wink u know all this time i must admit i had a theory abt who your sons father was.. and this evil little man rly suggests the protag was her sons father like jfc and of course bc the authors evil she rly left it w konatsu just going well >:) whos to say. i am never gonna answer that question tho.

OKAY SO ONTO LIKE CONTEXT bc i had none when i first watched and i will say this sent me spiraling a bit my god my god.

FIRST THING. i do wanna explain why its a plain ass lie but i also need to clarify in no way is it excusable as a writing decision.. the author is a supremely fucked up woman who i do not intend to excuse for anything she has written esp this and my take on her um. decision making here was more like a fucked up reference to evil tropes than utilizing them herself bc i wouldnt put it past her to have done that frankly but it wouldve had to simply be a different story than it was. absolutely no quarrel w someone who doesnt want to watch it given all this like it really is... yeah. also no need to touch the manga the animes better anyways lol

2) ok if u are still reading... i think context for who is saying what is very important it is a man who you are consistently told has had it out for the protagonist for YEARS and really is shown to have something just a little off about him the evil shit he will sometimes say out of the blue building up to this... he is NOT framed as a reliable source of info. secondly like konatsu truly is his daughter man her freakishly evasive reply if it were abt anything else truly would be funny i hate it here

3) i am not gonna bother listing all the reasons it is false bc it would be way too long unless anyone wants 2 ask me further but highlight reel how much of the story is abt their parent child dynamics, the fact that he was.. in love w her father and helped raise her a bit with him even when he was still alive, just about every other thing abt their relationship and also his relationship with his grandson, etc... and also the fact that lying and shaping narratives of a life is um . a major element of the story and for someone to kind of pathetically attempt to do that after kikuhiko's death is definitely intentional

4) LASTLY it is tempting to think the story is in 2 parts bc s1 feels like such an isolated story u would think part 2 is maybe only partially related but i promise it isnt and changes the meaning of season 1 fairly significantly so if this seems like it is something u are up for i would definitely recommend watching them both season 2 really is very good otherwise and also wanna stress this is not like. the Ending of sgrs this is an individual scene in the last episode that is upsetting enough to overshadow everything else if ur unprepared but in the grand scheme of things far from the most important plot thing going on

AND THE THING I PROMISED UP TOP: if u actually do watch, there is a scene that starts w konatsu and higuchi sitting down having a conversation, nothing super important happens u can either skip the conversation altogether or specifically once they are alone bc the kids are there for a bit, and thats it :)

THANK U FOR READING... HAVE FUN STAY SAFE

[cassyapper]

i wish to hear more about part 5 avdol 👀

OMG I WOULD LOVE TO THANK U FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO KIND PERSON

i genuinely think avdol would become a good mentor figure for everyone in the buccigang, including and not limited to bruno and abbacchio. giorno and him are probably closest tho,,,but i also do like the idea of fugo and avdol being close cause i like to think fugo reminds avdol of himself when he was younger (this is more headcanony than canon stuff tho)

as for actual plot stuff and how avdol would affect it;;;;;; due to avdol’s competence, no one dies <3 sorry araki but nara bruno and abbacchio are alive now. I'm still trying to work out the details regarding how he could prevent bruno’s death tho. maybe bruno will still have to die but I'm thinking about it

ALSO bc of avdol’s influence i think fugo would hum and haw over if he should go with the bucci gang some more. i dont think he actually will tag along completely, BUT he doesnt just leave he just does some sniffing around from the inside. they’ll meet up again later rather than fugo tagging along from the beginning. like fugo is like “yall r crazy. let me do sum research and ill get back to you” and maybe fugo finds polnareff that way (lmfao could u imagine. pol gets kakyoin flashbacks)

lots of kakyoin flashbacks actually. this would really be a bone breaker if this is an au where kakyoin is still dead

ANYWAY. since I'm still not sure abt the details of avdol’s impact on the PLOT, lemme get into character dynamics

giorno: big mentor figure, probably steals some (a lot) of bruno’s thunder in this regard. giorno just rlly respects him and avdol acknowledges giorno is a very hardworking kiddo (which giorno appreciates). i imagine he grows very fond of him throughout the events of va. idk if it would ever cross the line of mentor-protegee to father-son but regardless they're rlly close and giorno values his opinions a lot when he becomes the don even tho avdol says he doesnt wanna be involved in mafia business (and he doesnt but he cares more about the well being of his kids ie the buccigang than staying away from organized crime)

fugo: fugo is like a crazy thrashing dog that is going insane and yet never turns to nip at its owner who is holding it back (in this case that is avdol). yea i imagine avdol and fugo have a good relationship Eventually but it takes fugo some time understandably to accept/warm up to it cause of his issues with authority figures and how they've done him dirty before. avdol is nothing if not a patient man tho and i imagine fugo eventually comes to rlly trust him which is why he decides to squirrel around to get buccigang some info on the inside of the gang rather than disembark completely

narancia: nara would be as hostile as he can be at first i feel like cause he might think avdol is trying to replace bruno but once he learns avdol is a) not in the gang and will never be in the gang he’s not trying to take anyone’s position and b) sees BRUNO warm up 2 avdol, he accepts him very fast. it’s like a switch flipped it’s v sudden and intense change in demeanor. avdol is kinda surprised but like he’ll take it. avdol thinks nara is very funny and he helps him out w schooling when fugo is gone. avdol also listens to nara’s music w him and gives him recommendations which narancia is SUPER HAPPY ABT cause no one was willing to talk music with him before (indulge him and let HIM talk abt it yes, but never respond in turn and have a conversation before). nara loves avdol and avdol loves him in return. fun family (:

mista: hmm i cant see mista and avdol being suuuper close?? at least not at first but they def get along. but when avdol gets comfortable enough w the buccigang to do his funky fun smartass stuff sometimes (like how he was during the judgement fight) mista and him get a LOT closer. mista thinks avdol is the funniest man on the planet and they can have good talks. avdol is a good person to think out loud with which i think mista kinda needs. also I'm sure avdol is enamored with the sex pistols. not many stands can even talk yet these lil guys have outright personalities of their own. avdol joins mista during feeding time just cause he’s rlly intrigued by these lil guys. mista was a little weirded out at first but since warming up to avdol he doesnt mind (:

trish: HIS DAUGHTER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s got the age, he’s got the kindness, he’s got the patience, he’s got the respect, HE!!!!!! IS. HER DAD NOW. avdol might've laid the sympathy on a little too thick when they first met so trish might not have liked him much at first, but he notices she’s rlly stressed out and talks her thro it/lets her speak her mind which is rlly nice. trish hasn't ever had anyone prompt her to lose her shit before helping her to piece back together again but tis nice. when trish is supposed to be dropped off with diavolo, she actually hugs avdol (: also when trish awakens spice girls u BET avdol is rooting her on and helping her get more comfortable w her stand. avdol is thinks spice girls is rlly fuckin cool and combined w spice girls and avdol’s guidance, trish actually gets rlly handy at using her stand. pls imagine magician’s red and spice girls just chilling. thanks. anyway if avdol were to legally adopt ANYONE in the buccigang it would be trish. trish lives w him after va

abbacchio: i don't think avdol and abbacchio would be besties but bruno trusts him and narancia likes him so i think abbacchio wouldn't hate him despite them first meeting bc of giorno lolol. so like they're civil but i cant imagine their interactions getting warmer until after avdol tags along when they split up from the gang. abbacchio is like “why tf r u even still here” and avdol is like “YOURE the oldest here and ur only 21 u need an actual adult. no but i just wanna watch over the kids and make sure they're safe” abbacchio respects that. also avdol encouraging trish to train w spice girls is why trish is able to keep abbacchio from getting a fist through the torso (she makes him rubbery as spice girls can do so he can withstand the punch king crimson gives him) and he's kinda grateful bc of that to both abbacchio And trish. uhh yeah. lol. also avdol has good taste in wine which abbacchio can respect

bruno: FINALLY the man himself. for a long time he is just politely friendly towards avdol cause idk if bruno would know how to deal w someone who would be more likely to be a mentor to Him rather than vice versa but as avdol and him spend more time together and watch over the kiddos and abbacchio together they get more comfortable. idk if they’d ever get close close but bruno can rely on avdol and he does during the final fight. when they come out victorious bruno kinda promises him he’ll always have a home in italy if he needs anywhere to rest it’d be sweet (: avdol in turn would say if ur ever in egypt just ask around and u’ll find me

anyway uhhhhh yeah. i hope u enjoyed reading all this fjkdnjc;n i just think. avdol is very loveable and very cool and he would've added a lot to part 5 in my opinion,,,,

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[yelenasdog]

bonnie and clyde (billy/4 x fem reader)

genre: angst

summary: there were five people at the funeral of billy jones. why did two, more specifically one, of them leave?

words: 1.3k

warnings: just vv sad my guy. literally no fluff i hate it here </3 mentions of death, billy’s funeral, and crying.

a/n: yo so idk if billy’s last name is jones but i saw someone on here refer to him as billy jones and i think it’s just bc of ben’s last name but anyway LMFAO. i for some reason couldn’t stop thinking abt this and so i wrote it (as one does fkefnkerjn). also y/n was not used so if u wanted to read this as an x another character or x an oc it would work as well. enjoy :)

🌃🌃🌃

There were five people at the funeral of Billy Jones.

This was common knowledge who would listen long enough to hear the vigilante talk about the experience he had only seen from afar, his own heart growing tender during, or at any mention of, the moment.

But Billy always failed to explain the situation with a full grip, to its entire truth. As to why, most anyone could figure out.

He was afraid.

Afraid of getting her hurt, afraid of thinking of her for just a moment too long, afraid of his impulse driving him to get his ass right back up and go say he still loved her.

Four was afraid of a plethora of horrible scenarios that could occur if he let the truth about his funeral slide to anyone except One (which was bad enough that he had to know by default as it was).

And the irony of it all, was how miniscule and ineffective something like who had left his funeral early and as to why, would be to anyone else on the team.

Sure they all had their secrets that would seep into the pool that was their little family, Three’s mother, One’s lover, Two and Three’s infatuation with each other (though, that one wasn’t really a secret).

Not to mention, Four despised painting her in a bad light, allowing others to think for a fraction of a second that she didn’t leave because her already frail heart couldn’t handle to see her beloved’s name etched onto a gray stone in a patchy field of a horrible green, couldn’t handle the idea that their Bonnie and Clyde reminiscent days (minus the killing of 13 people, that is) had come to an end.

There were two people at the funeral of Billy Jones who left early.

The first? An old friend from his hometown.

He was a wealthy businessman now, having abandoned the life of pretty crime and rush of his youth. He showed up to Four’s not-so-celebration of life in an ashen tux with an obsidian tie and shiny oxfords, and barely a minute into the service he had begun checking his shiny Rolex, probably counting down the seconds until he would be considered late to some important meeting for whatever corporate hoax he was a part of to be able to stay afloat. How ironic.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

The sound was like nails on a chalkboard to her, while the action itself felt like somewhat of a betrayal, even though Billy and the businessman hadn’t talked in years. It was a kind enough gesture that he had even come to begin with.

But she didn’t care.

Because before the service had even started, salty droplets were rolling down her reddened cheeks, dampening her hoodie, his hoodie, that she had coiled so tightly around herself and her limbs, almost like a corset.

So when the businessman turned to go after what could maybe have been a measly few minutes, she could barely control her anger.

But she did, for Billy. She sucked it up and stayed put, keeping her eyes trained to his mother who was now speaking, her striking emerald eyes also obviously wet. But in reality, Billy had wanted his former lover to turn around and smack that prick square in the face.

But then 4 took some time and realized that if it were the other way around and she had been dead, he could conjure in his mind how distressed he would be to where he would prefer to focus on wallowing in his sadness for her and her only, not be consumed by anger for some random fellow.

Billy truly wanted to leave One where he stood, wanted to run to where her shaking was escalating from ever so slightly to violently as could be, wrapping her in his strong arms she already missed. The strong arms that she believed should have kept him safe when he was dangling from that damned building with that damned necklace in his mouth.

The image could have been some renaissance painting with how beautiful he looked, even then, on the brink of what the world would know as the death of Billy Jones.

In fact, most of Billy’s and the girl’s adventures could be different renaissance paintings. Alive and free, bursting with vibrant colors and emotions that weren’t able to be captured with words, so rather, they were thrown on a canvas in what was somehow a meticulously put together flurry.

On that rainy day, the weather so fitting to what she had been feeling, she wished for nothing more than to somehow place herself back into those non-existent paintings, to even for a fraction of a second bask in his never ending love like some sort of oasis.

She wanted to run her fingers through his golden curls one last time, kiss his forehead goodnight one last time, to tell him she loved him more than anything in this universe, one last time.

But she didn’t, and she wouldn’t ever get to.

And her one final chance to say what she wanted him to hear, she had missed out on, as that’s when she had left.

It was long after the uptight man in the fitted suit, long after his crying mother had gone from where she was speaking up front, back to the shadows of her baby’s grim event that she should never have had been alive to see.

She had managed to drag herself halfway up to where his casket was sitting just above the ground, trying to not look at the box a second too long.

Rather, she pretended there was a pair of rose colored glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose, helping her pretend that this was all some big misunderstanding, that Billy was just pulling one of his infamous pranks.

He would pop out from behind the tent covering the few who stood with their feet shifting on the damp soil, or perhaps from the headstone of his very own grave. She would gasp or shriek and then smack his arm, lecturing him as he grabbed his chest, doubling over in laughter, the sound like music to her ears.

God, what she would do to hear that sound one more time.

Nevertheless, in the end he would stand up, and wipe her tears from her sweet face, pressing gentle kisses on either of her cheeks to rid her of that pout he hated to admit he loved. She would crack a small smile and he would punch a celebratory fist in the air at the gesture, leaving her to only shake her head at his antics. He would sling an arm around her shoulders, nustling close to her as they would exit the graveyard, never coming back until the inevitable day they both had lived their happiest and fullest lives together.

He would say “You know you love me.” And without a doubt, every time, she would say “Yeah, I do.”

But not this time.

This time, she would let her eyes wander to a tall tree just over the hill, slimming her puffy eyes. She rubbed them and did a double take, and swore that for a moment she had seen what looked like his figure next to one of someone she had never seen before.

And that’s when she left.

She let out an ugly sob, running as fast as her feet could take her to wherever that wasn’t there, the sound of her shoes against the cold ground muted, but the sound of her uneven breathing was anything but.

As for all she knew, it was her mind playing a cruel, cruel, trick on her. Or even her mind trying to give her some sort of closure to move on.

Whatever it was, though, was simply too much for her to process, too much to handle. So she had left, given up on what she didn’t know was her only chance to give a proper goodbye.

“You think she saw you?”

“I hope so.”

🌃🌃🌃

we vibing w this?? i hope so hehe. WAIT PUN NOT INTENDED LMFAO I DID THAT PERIODT! anyway, have a wonderful day/night, and go drink water and eat protein, it’s all abt intention!! i love u! also if u have any questions abt this fic pls do lmk bc ik some of it was kinda weird! 

p.s., pls pls pls reblog this! this is my first ben related fic and ik when it’s ur first fic for a fandom they can flop so it would be very cool if y’all could help me out a lil bit :) either way ily, thank u! kk bye

xx hj

[tsumusamu]

asks :D

sorry i took so long to answer these! i just put them in one post so i wouldn't spam too much

Um I read both your series recently and I just wanted to tell you omg I love them so much I couldn’t put down my phone I got so invested into it and if it’s not a bother if you could add me to the tag list for Amorentia and Call you mine🥺💜👉👈

of course! it’s not a bother! i’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the series! <3

hello, i just want to ask if you have any haikyuu fic recommendations (preferably abt bokuto or atsumu)? Or know any other acct/s that write them? im currently on a fic hunt and i just want some writing that’s as good as yours 🤧

hi there! honestly i havent read many haikyuu fics as of late but alkhale on ao3 is probably my favorite author of all time. they have explicit fics but their rated t fics are just as good. i admire them so much!!

I LOVE UR WRTING omgosh am looking forward to the next part of call you mine SO MUCH u have no idea !!! heheh take ur time will be patiently waitinggg <3 take care!!!

i’m so happy you like my writing it means so much! you take care as well ok <3

My emotions went everywhere!! can you add me to the Call you mine taglist please?😆

Of course!

Omg omg omg I really enjoyed the most recent chapter of ‘call you mine’!! I know you were stressed about writing/publishing it but GIRLL IT WAS AMAZING AND HEART-WRENCHING - and it was a great read! Keep up the awesome work, and I’m looking forward to seeing reader and Atsumu’s interactions in the future like UGH MY HEART. PLEASE, YOU LOVE BLINDED IDIOTS. Take care, lovely!! <3 stay healthy and get some good many hours of sleep! :)) 

GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!! yes i dont think it was my best work but i will do my best to keep writing in the future! they are such idiots that i felt myself cringing so hard while writing LOL </3 i will take care of myself and i hope you do too!!!

can I be tagged in the next update of Call you mine? 

yes!

you are such a talented writer and i just love “call you mine”. i saw that you apologised for making part 4 12k words long, but honestly write as much as you want to bc we all need as much of this series as we can get. (btw i saw that you said you don’t know when you’ll post the next update, but i kid you not when i say that i’ll check your blog daily to see if you’ve posted another part of the series and to check our your other content as well 🤭) 

YES HAHA sorry i do get really long winded sometimes hence the huge chapter that i posted a few weeks ago LOL the last chapter will be even longer so prepare for that....... sorry abt my inconsistency that i cant tell you when i’ll update next but thank you for being so patient and supportive!!

could i be added in the taglist of both atsumu fics 🥺

yup!

i am speed

and would love to be added to your general taglist whenever you update any of your fics!! thanks🤍

of course! <3

can i be tagged for the call you mine 🥺 

yes i’ll tag you :)

i’m in love with the hogwarts haikyuu au! i think it’s an amazing idea that needs more stories

ME TOO ANY HOGWARTS AU HAS ME GOING INSANE I THINK IT’S ONE OF THE MOST ENTERTAINING AUS TO BOTH READ AND WRITE. i will definitely be writing more hogwarts haikyuu in the future!!

i forgot to add to that last post that what you’re writing is wonderful and amazing and can’t wait for part 4!

thank you so much for your support!

call you mine is such a masterpiece, you’re such an amazing fucking writer (like the plot and everything???? GENIUS) and i can’t wait for the next update sndnkejdh 

AHHH ANON thank you im so happy that you liked call you mine uiefdiasifua im currently working on the update rn thanks for being patient!!

Hi i was the ao3 reader who discovered you and wanted to drop by and say i am sooo excited to read your latest chapter!!! i also wanted to say I love LOVE major love your hogwarts au fic! idk if you know james potter but you probably do seeing as you made an au but atsumu reminds me soo much of young james potter!! i read some fics of james potter and i find him and atsumu so alike in a a way i would love if you could do more takes on your hogwartsau!!! i could send you the links if you want!!

OMGJOIJAI I hadnt even thought of it that way?? now that you mention it james and atsumu in my story do seem to have some similarities but i hope i didnt make atsumu too much of a dickhead D: i will definitely be writing more for hogwarts haikyuu!

can i mayhap get added to your general taglist? your writing is AMAZING, never fails to send me into the stratosphere from how good it is.

sure thing! i’m happy you’re enjoying my work thank you for your message <3 pls dont stay too long in the stratosphere though it’s kinda hard to breathe up there LOL

hiii!!! can you please add me to call you mine taglist?? 

for sure!

IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 5 OF CALL U MINE AHHHHHHHHH

I HOPE IT WILL LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!

Hello!!! Can I please be added to the Amortentia and Call you Mine taglist please? ❤️❤️ I think about them all the time, Atsumu brain rot for life!

Also super hyped for your upcoming Osamu fic! You’re amazing, I hope you’re not too stressed! Stay hydrated and get enough sleep you wonderful human being ✨✨✨❤️❤️

YES OF COURSE U CAN AND ATSUMU BRAINROT FOR ME 24/7 AS WELL. i hope i’ll be able to finish that osamu fic soon aaa thank you for being patient <3 please take care of yourself as well!

Will ch.5 be the last chapter of Call You Mine?

yes!

i just wanna say 'call you mine' is 10/10. your writing? *french kiss* i love how you go into detail - we see both atsumu's reader p.o.v - it gives depth to the characters! it's so realistic too. reader's hesitance is very valid - like how can you be sure of atsumu's feeling, when he's getting his dick wet everyday LOL! thank you for writing this, i am enjoying it so much! <3

HDSUUFHASUHF ANON PLS AHHH IM SO HAPPY THAT UR ENJOYING IT and also atsumu will get his dick wet one last time in the final part... u will see ;)

HELLO AMORTENTIA AND CALL YOU MINE ARE SO NICE im gonna cry my favorite tropes + one of them is a hogwarts!au + your writing 🥺❤️

HELLO HELLO THANK U FOR READING MY WORK!!!

i can’t wait for part 5 of call you mine. this series of yours is literally so GENIUS

i really hope that it will be satisfying!! thank you for your kind message!

I wanted to say that your writing is absolutely perfect. The way you capture these characters I’m truly speechless, and each chpt it just gets better and better 😭😭💛 could I ask to be added to the call you mine taglist? Truly, thank you for ur amazing writing !!!! 😭

AHHHH IM LITERALLY BLUSHING... THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM T___T yes of course you can be added to the taglist and thank you for reading my work!

ALSO YOUR TAKE ON TSUMU IS GOLDEN. IT IS CLASS. PERFECTION. GRACE. I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN. Anywayz CATCH ME CRYING OVER CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N 🥲😭💛

PLS ATSUMU IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING MY TAKE ON HIM. IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE ENJOYING THIS TSUMU. AND YES... CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N LITERALLY DRIVE ME CRAZY THEY R SO DUMB BUT I CRY WHILE WRITING THEM

Hi there! I love your Call You Mine atsumu x reader fic so much, it’s so well written! Would it be possible for me to be added to the taglist please?

thank you! and yes you can be added!

hi, just caught up with call you mine! i know this might be an odd comment on it but i'm currently going through a similar situation with my best friend as reader is (gray area, we haven't talked in a while) and reading both of their perspectives really brought me comfort. anyway thank you for writing it :)

ooo wow :O i really hope the situation you’re in gets resolved soon im wishing you good luck!! im happy that my writing was able to give you comfort <3 thank you for reading and supporting my writing!

your video edits are just *chefs kiss* my friends and I have been laughing at them for days in our gc and have even inspired memes of our own 😅 hope to see more them, they’re too good istg sending you love from three art school kids from Europe 🥺💕✨

??!#())(!@ OMG HAHAHA i would love to see some of the memes you guys came up with LOL sending love right back at you <3

hi love !! can i be added your gen tag list if you have one?

yes, i’ll add you!

Hello! Sorry for the bother but I’m suck a HUGE fan of your smau! And I’m talking about “Call You Mine” it’s so good and depressing...but that isn’t the point! I know you are busy with something else but I would like to ask if it’s be alright if I made a small fic about that story? If not, that is completely fine and understandable!

Thank you for your time and cya next time!!

yup yup that series comes with an angst tag for a reason! you’re not being a bother don’t worry! i would prefer for no fics to be made based off of the story, i’m sorry :( but thank you for asking!

I just discovered your blog and I love your writing so much.

I was wondering if I could be added to the tag list for call you mine with atsumu x reader? This story hurts me so much and it's written so well.

Thank you and have a nice day 🧡

hi! thank you for supporting my writing! yes you can be added to the taglist and im sorry it hurts </333 hope you have a nice day too bb

When do you think the next part of amortentia will be up? It’s my favorite series 😫 (no rush though!!!!)

hmmm im really not sure unfortunately :(

Sorry to bother, but I literally went through every part of Call you Mine just now AND I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Oh my goodness it hurts how much I love it. The friendship and the unspoken love for each other that leads to a long yearning for each other is literally my fanfic bread and butter. ITS SO DARN GOOD and I felt like I needed to tell you that. Anyways, I hope you are having an amazing week, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re safe and healthy! Thank you for what you do! 🤗

IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU LOVE IT. GENUINELY. KNOWING THAT PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING MY WORK MAKES ME SMILE SO BIG. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS. please take care yourself as well, and thank you for your ask!

Hi! I recently saw your atsumu x reader fic on ao3 (Call you mine) and I haven't read it yet but I've seen others talk about it on tumblr so I was wondering if I could be added to a tag list for that fic (if you have one ofc). Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't have one or it's full!

yes i can add you the taglist! i hope you’ll enjoy the fic whenever you decide to read it! <3

[vampireqrow-moved]

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

[hcrcwitz]

     hello friends! my name is moose (she/her, 21, cst) and i yam JAZZED. i feel like i haven’t been in a group in forever but i couldn’t not join this one? idK. anyway. im a messy bih who likes bugs and poutine & that’s abt it. this is intro 1/3 and im prayin im not here writing them all night bc u know i only got 2 brain cells left!!! buT please, if u want to plot HMU or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to u! lmk if u prefer discord bc i can give u that instead!

❝   jameela jamil.  cisfemale.  she/her.   ❞   ━    𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨  welcomes  inaya kaur  with  open  arms.  the  thirty-three  year  old  makeup artist / beauty guru has  been  living  here  for  seven years,  give  or  take.  on  a  good  day,  they  seem  the  sanguine  &  intuitive  type,  but  their  contradictory  &  self-sacrificing  tendencies  shine  through  when  there  are  no  taxis  into  the  city.

tw: suicide attempt & abortion !!

starting w her background

she’s a first generation american born in manhattan. her mum is from pakistan & her dad is from india & they both attended columbia where they met and fell in love awww how cute we luv some heteros. her mum was studying accounting and her father architecture. they married right after graduation and found a place in manhattan to start their family!!

they had a lot of trouble getting pregnant but eventually they were blessed with a set of beautiful twins !!! dimah was born and then seven minutes later, inaya came too.

although the twins always got along v well, inaya kind of felt like the black sheep. she was never as smart as her sister. she was never as popular as her sister. she tried so hard to be liked and even though her & dimah were best friends, people always seemed to like inaya less.

because they were twins, they were being compared constantly. it was always “why cant you be like dimah? dimah does this dimah does that. dimah has good friends” blah blah blah. it was frustrating bc inaya tried so hard and.........she got nothing. it was impossible for her to form her own identity when she had a sister who looked just like her. 

it went on like this and eventually inaya got used to it and just....did her own thing. she figured she would never be as good as her sister so there was no use in trying to make her parents proud so she just stopped trying and tried to do what made her happy. it didn’t really work. in fact, it only made things worse.

she felt defeated. like nothing she could do would ever be good enough for them. she had friends that loved and supported her but her the disappointment from her parents’ weighed heavily on her heart and her self esteem.

suicide attempt tw !! she was only sixteen years old when she attempted to end her own life. she was found by her best friend who rushed her to the hospital where her life was saved.

after that her parents kind of realized how their words and actions affected her. (a little too late but still) and things started to get better. they were angry with her at first but hearing her explain how she felt and how they made her feel things started to click into place. she was a good kid, really. she never did anything wrong. she hung out with some questionable people but her parents started to recognize that she was just doing her best.

things were pretty ok for the next few years. not good, but ok.

and then, when she was nineteen, she noticed her period was late. it was VERY late. she took an at-home pregnancy test and it came out positive and she was absolutely TERRIFIED. her parents eventually found the test and absolutely lost their minds. they were okay with her hanging out with shady people and not getting perfect grades but the unwanted pregnancy was the final straw, it seemed.

and just like that, she was kicked out of her own house with no where to live. she ended up moving in with her best friend while she worked odd jobs to save up some money.

abortion tw !! with no money and no help to raise a child that she didn’t exactly want, inaya ended up getting her pregnancy terminated. it was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make and the choice still weighs heavy on her soul though she doesn’t regret it.

she & her best friend decided in their mid-20s that it was time for a change of scenery and that’s how she found herself in lakeview.

ever since, she’s been working as a freelance makeup artist while also being an active member of the beauty community on youtube. though her job is somewhat unconventional, it makes her really happy and she feels very successful by doing what she loves and making pretty decent money for it. she hopes to start her own makeup brand pretty soon that is.....her ultimate dream

ok that got longer than i wanted but here is more abt her personality

she is......an absolute angel. the sweetest woman u may ever meet

the opinions of others are very important to her so she is always working double time to impress people even tho.......it ultimately just makes her unhappy

she’s way better off since she’s sort of lost contact with her parents but she still.......has that uncontrollable urge to please people no matter what

puts everyone else before herself

she’s very sensitive and very emotional. she takes almost everything super personally

just wants people to like her

100000000% the mom friend. will always be texting u to make sure you’ve eaten and whatnot. will over to make u dinner if u havent. makes sure ur drinking water if you’re drinking alcohol and will wake up at 3am to drive you home if she has to

just wants everyone to be safe and happy

wears her heart on her sleeve but doesnt want people to see her sad?? also.....she does’t follow any of her own advice like a whacko.

she puts her entire heart and soul into everything she does

doesn’t stop talking tbh. she just.......doesn’t know how to shut up rly

just wants ppl to like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some extra tidbits !!

loves to bake

LOVES doing her friend’s makeup and honestly.......will give u a little makeover for free just because

halloween is her absolute fave holiday the bitch goes WILD her costumes are always over the top

loves horror movies

puts a lot of effort into her appearance. always wearing something flattering w her hair and makeup done. dressed to the nines at all times basically

tall af but always wearing heels anyway bc she is............powerful

wanted to be a ballet dancer but she was told she was too tall so she quit

loves wine

falls in love 12 times a day tbh

my bi queen

she has a pet bunny named clover

there is she folks, sry it’s a lot. but pls...still love me :’)

[ihatebnha]

hiii this is my first time sending an ask & i just found ur blog but I just wanted to tell you how much i love your writings and lil drabble things so far!! also you seem so open, inviting, & super friendly to talk to that i just had to tell you. usually i get v v nervous because i blank and have nothing to say but when im on here i feel so chill & comfortable, like we can talk about anything!! anyway sorry for the ramble but thank you for all you do!! hope u stay safe and take care hun! 💞💞💞

Im literally sitting here abt to cry over this… I know I probably sound like a broken record with how many times I repeat myself… but thank u so incredibly much for such touching words… as well as for enjoying my work!! (plus for letting me be ur first ask😭)

It really does make me so so so SO happy to interact with the little community I’ve started to build here that honestly whenever im reassured by you guys that the space im actually creating is welcoming and friendly and open… I practically just want to burst into tears… one of the reasons I want to and try to be so open is bc I know what its like to feel uninteresting and anxious and alone… which is why ppl reaching out (esp when they say they dont usually) is just so… *baby crying noises* to me

im honestly always worried about whether people like my content and care abt what I have to say enough to stick around… so to know even one or two people feel this way…. 

basically… 

ALSO i want u to know.... we CAN talk about anything!! thank u so so much again tho, anon... u never have to apologize for rambling bc look at me basically... but also bc u mean so much to me!! i hope ur staying safe and taking care too!!!💘💘💘

[7dys]

roomies?

hey again im a dummy sorry

I literally could NOT think of a title im sorry here's a good ole roommate au though

request: HHhHhHhh u write so well I'm crying :(( jshsd can I get a roommate!au with jae from day6 ? with a possible fluff at the end ? eye emoji ? sjdshd tysm !! -anon

word count: 5137 she's a doozy

a/n: I must have gotten this request like... a year and a half ago at least anon if you’re seeing this I apologize but I've finally done it!!! hope u all enjoy the workings of my crackhead brain

right-o lets get to it

okay so when you moved out of your dorms after graduation you weren’t expecting it to be this God Damn Expensive

on top of buying groceries and affording your tiny ass one bedroom a girlie was struggling

so !! you decided to look into finding a roommate

obviously not to move in with you…. there’s only one bedroom okay

but like searching for an open spot with someone

you found a few that seemed nice but were all wayyyyyyy too far from your job like you would be losing money paying so much in transportation

finally you stumbled across the most cursed roommate flyer ever

but it was in a super convenient location !! so you read it anyways

it was written in GREEN and PURPLE comic sans and there were multiple pictures of chickens and cheesy memes randomly placed around the text in the middle

which by the way was a list of 7 bullet points that said this:

1:my name is jae

2:i am broke

3:i have an extra room waiting for /YOU/

4:i am in a band and will write a song about you if that’s what it takes

5:i am unreasonably good at untangling headphones and i will untangle things for you

6:i have a pet cat and if you don’t like that walk away from this flyer immediately

7:please

and then at the bottom was an octopus who’s 8 legs had his contact information on it and they were cut so you could just pull off a slip

if you were an ordinary person you would not have taken one

lucky us !!!! you’re just crazy

and you take one of the god damn octopus legs

you are understandably the only person who has taken one so far

you giggle to yourself at your own SHEER STUPIDITY and then send a text to the number

you: hi !! i saw ur ad abt looking for a roommate and i’m interested! my name is y/n and i’m still in college so u don’t have to worry about me being like . crazy im just stressed

chicken guy??: oh my god really it’s been a month since i put up that poster!! also mood

you: you put up …. only one poster …… and it was that ……

chicken guy??: it worked for u didn’t it

you: . touché

chicken guy??: anyways you can come by later today and check it out if you’d like? i swear i’m not crazy either but feel free to bring a friend if you’re worried for safety reasons or whatever

you: nah i prefer to live life on The Edge plus none of my friends would be helpful in a life threatening situation

chicken guy??: i don’t know u but i’m already worried for u pls get here soon

hehehe u liked this guy

he was funny if anything

and you tended to find all the weirdos of society and befriend them so it was safe to assume he was no different than your usual crowd

true to your word you go to the address he sent you alone later that afternoon and cheerily knock on the door

while you wait for him to answer you survey the outside

it’s honestly ….. kind of a cluttered mess but in a cute way

like some sort of kleptomaniac crow somehow got an apartment and displayed all of the strange things it found

except it’s all music related

there is a jar that is filled to the BRIM with guitar picks.

who needs that many guitar picks

“me, i do”

you squeak and turn around and go

“??????”

and the tall thin man in the door just nods

“i knew what you were thinking”

“...that’s fair”

and then he seems to remember what exactly is going on and extends one long fingered hand for a shake

“hi! you must be y/n :)) i’m jae”

you take his hand …. that shits warm

how long have you been outside that your hand is so cold when you touch him you SHIVER

he’s like oh my god come in please you’re shivering jesus christ

and you just smile and tell him it’s nice to meet him !!! what a positive polly

you come in and are pleasantly surprised that the inside has just as much personality as the poster !!

and thankfully less green and purple and ….. comic sans

you are immediately greeted by the largest tabby cat you’ve ever seen

“ah that’s my big boy mister crackers”

“his name … is mister crackers”

“....yes”

“love it. tell me more”

he smiles so BIG and WIDE when you say that you think you’re looking at the sun

as he explains more things about the apartment and points at things here and there you half listen and half just. watch him

you didn’t know what to expect from that as but it’s fair to say you lucked out as far as possible roommates go

he was tall and had shiny dark hair and glasses that made his cute little eyes even littler

and he was in a BAND that is so cool

plus he’s like …. pretty or smth

smh FOCUS

you’re gnna have to share a bathroom with him which is … scary but you looked in there and it looks clean at least

also there’s some candles in there

……. he definitely takes candlelit baths like a widow just returning from her rich husbands funeral after he left her everything in the will

king

he seems nice and funny and you appear to have a similar sense of humor …. you’re in

you’re about to tell him you’ll think about it so that you don’t come off as too excited

but then change your mind and jump up and down and tell him you’re IN and you’ll help cover the rent and cook sometimes and bake him cookies and

he stops you after cookies with a hand over your mouth

“you are perfect. please move in immediately”

you smile under his hand and hope he can’t feel your cheeks getting absolutely BLAZING hot

(he 100% can)

((and he thinks it’s really CUTE))

you grab the hand that’s over your mouth and give it a shake and tell him in a southern accent that it’s a deal pardner and he SNORTS

it was cute

you move in as quickly as possible and his band mates come over to help you move everything !!

you’re high key embarrassed to let all these literally gorgeous men into your tiny little apartment and touch all your stuff

but after talking to each of them for like 5 seconds you quickly see they’re all a bunch of nerds and you would trust them with your life

wonpil loses his MIND when he sees your little plushy collection on your bed he thinks you’re the cutest person on the whole planet

he tells jae that’s he’s the luckiest man on earth when he thinks you’re not listening

you ARE though and you stop what you’re doing to give him a big ol hug and tell him he’s an angel

sungjin disapproves of how you’ve been living and asks if you’ve been eating enough and then turns on jae with a finger like U BETTER FEED HER

brian is so intimidatingly beautiful you can’t look him in the eye until you’re all eating ramen and you watch him choke to near death and then immediately go make himself another cup

relatable

dowoon looked lost and you immediately took him under your wing and you’ve been babying him ever since

you made jae take the box full of your plates and mugs and such bc it was too heavy for your Little Angel

“please y/n i am literally the strongest of all of us let me carry things. jae is going to keel over and die”

“nonsense !!! you’re a growing boy you need rest”

“please i literally punched a HOLE in a WALL on ACCIDENT and jae has a grass allergy i promise i will be fine”

regardless of the absolute struggle it was to coordinate everyone and get all your stuff to jae’s you are FINALLY moved in

your room is obviously not the master but you weren’t gonna be like Sorry Jae I Need The Master Bedroom Move Out Xoxo

it’s cute and you brought your own furniture and some posters and decor that you had all over your old apartment

basically you just condensed it all into one room

and the boys gave you a housewarming present and it was just a picture of them performing with you badly photoshopped next to jae playing the triangle

it wasn’t even framed they just taped it to the wall

typical

after all the moving in the boys leave you and jae to settle in but the moving was TIRING so

you’re already asleep on the couch

……….typical

jae just shakes his head and covers you with one of his large sweatshirts because for some reason he only owns one blanket and it’s on his bed and he doesn’t know where yours are

he’s literally HELPLESS

you wake up with a dry mouth at 3 in the morning and smile at jaes sweater barely covering your curled up body

you hold it up and it says “i like ugly” in tiny font .

this boy is perfect

you put it on and climb in your actual bed and decide to make him breakfast tomorrow for being such an angel

you set an ALARM that’s commitment if i’ve ever seen it

you make him pancakes and and coffee and when he comes out wearing a sweatshirt similar to the one you’re wearing and the rattiest sweatpants you’ve ever seen he doesn’t even notice anything at first

nd then he rubs his eyes and just stares

“y/n i’m gonna cry i haven’t had breakfast since 2008”

you laugh and launch yourself at him because he’s That cute

“you’re so cute thank you for letting me be your roommate !!!!”

he ruffles your hair and then sets his chin on top of your head

“thanks for breakfast, sunshine. even if this is also as early as i’ve been awake since 2008”

you pinch his side at that and then go to serve him a heaping pile of pancakes bc he’s skinny and he needs it

“alright noodle eat up!!”

“did you just call me noodle?”

“yes, look at yourself”

“.. that’s fair”

you guys chat over breakfast and thank GOD it’s a sunday and neither of you have shit to do

other than laundry

you force yourself not to mom him when he just puts it all in one machine and sets it on cold and leaves .

it hurts tho

instead of being productive while you wait you have multiple staring contests

jae keeps accusing you of saying he blinked when he didn’t

“i didn’t blink my eyes just look like that !!!! they are small and asian are you racist or something??”

“shut UP i won >:((((“

after the laundry is done you go your separate ways and jae heads out to band practice and it’s your very first time …

alone in your own apartment

naturally you take off your pants and dance around for at least 10 minutes

you didn’t even realize that since your roommate is a dude you can’t just ….. not wear pants

a travesty !!!

honestly let him try to stop you from going braless though. let him try.

you laze around and try to get caught up on your favorite shows and organize your room and then it gets late and you decide you’re going to make a MEAL for dinner

like a WHOLE . MEAL.

we’re going all out

you tie your hair up and put on your cooking sweater which is just a disgusting old sweatshirt covered with stains that hangs almost to the middle of your thighs

everyone needs one

next step is MUSIC because if you cook without it you just feel sad

we’re pulling out the oldies mix that’s right

i’m talking ELO, reo speedwagon, the doobie brothers we’re getting DOWN !!!!!

perhaps we’ll sprinkle some queen in there in honor of the movie that just came out

regardless you’re head banging while you chop vegetables

extremely unsafe but entirely necessary

jae comes home in the middle of your dramatic rendition of bohemian rhapsody where you attempt to sing every single part including the operatic harmonies

you are literally on your knees singing dramatically when the door opens and he comes out of the foyer to see YOU on the FLOOR wearing NO PANTS and singing QUEEN

you may just be ……. the most perfect woman he’s ever met in his life

he joins you because what the fuck else is he supposed to do

he comes in on the high GALILEO and then air guitars THE FUCK out of the next part while you literally thrash

i’m telling you it was one of the most taxing things you’ve ever done

you finish out the song and then fist bump for respect

“something smells good but also something smells burning”

and you scream because OH NO THE GARLIC BREAD

((it’s not even that burnt jae is just weird about smells …… grass allergy headass))

after the fake crisis is averted you finish up and the both of you FEAST while watching cheesy christmas movies and booing at love

you’re both . that bitter huh

also want to note that at some point you discreetly put sleep shorts on so you could pretend you hadn’t been pantless and possibly flashing your day of the week underwear to your roommate of like 36 hours

and when you’re literally seconds away from sleep jae boops you on the nose

like . kinda hard

“hey go to sleep this couch is not comfortable i promise”

“shut up you’re BONEY everything is uncomfortable for you”

“okay now you’re just being mean get your ass in bed”

“sorryyy :((((“

“yea yea go away weirdo”

you tell him goodnight and hug him extra tight in apology and he pats your head so like. all is forgiven hehe

that night when you flop in bed and wrap yourself around one of your pillows you’re pretty damn pleased with your roommate choice

time skip you and jae have almost 0 boundaries other than the necessary ones that keep you Platonic Friends and not Married Couple

which is basically just any affection beyond hugs nd the occasional snuggle

you heard me

the boys are in your apartment . all the time

literally all the time

and wonpil drunk cries to your stuffed animals about never finding love

PLEASE someone save him please

nights like those you and jae go full parent mode because everyone’s drunk so sungjin can’t do it himself

he’s too busy literally breakdancing in your living room

he moved the coffee table out of the way and everything

after everyone is put in beds (dowoon gets to deal with wonpil‘s cry snuggling … sorry)

you and jae always collapse on the couch actually exhausted because you both have weak cardiovascular health and you just carried four full grown men

you end up leaned up against each other for support and then sagging until one of you falls over onto their back and the other just follows

it varies which one of you ends up the big spoon and it’s so CUTE when you do

you think jae pushes you over a little because he likes it too but he would rather die than admit he likes being snuggled so

you’ll fall over onto your back and jae will pretend to be surprised but then wriggle up your body until he’s half on top of you and half on the side with his head resting just under your chin

his hair is FLUFFY and it TICKLES you so you have to move it so you can sleep !

that’s what you tell yourself when you comb his hair down with your fingers

you pretend not to hear him sigh and feel it against the skin of your neck

you also pretend he hasn’t wrapped both arms around your rib cage like a vice and is not letting go anytime soon

cutie :(

he tucks his forehead into your neck and you physically feel his whole body relax and wow . so this is what peace is like

of course it lasts for 5 whole seconds before wonpil let’s out an actual wail and dowoon is urgently whispering shut the fuck up PLEASE SHUT UP

jae snorts against your neck and gives a minute shake of his head, splaying his hand across your ribs and tugging you farther into his hold

first of all. that ticKLES and it takes every shred of self control not to squirm

second: at this point he’s practically trying to fuse your bodies together really you cannot physically get closer than you are

you’re absolutely enjoying it though so you wrap your arms around him and settle in with one leg flopped over his and a blanket you pulled off the floor haphazardly thrown over the two of you

he’s such a SNUGGLE BUG you can barely believe it

he just loves to pretend he’s some angsty lonely dude who plays guitar and SKATEBOARDS like the giant cliche he is

when actually he is a Big Baby

he texts you to calculate the tip for him whenever he’s out to eat with the boys because he “swore off math in 2014”

he asks you if his outfits are okay nd he always looks like an old man but you still tell him it’s good

you think so at least <33

you can read each other so well it’s scary

you’ll walk in the living room and jae will be like NOPE i’m leaving

and you’re like what :(((((((

and he’s like i just KNOW you’re about to yell about random shit we both personally have no control over and it gives me ~anxiety~

“okay well i was just gonna say that global warming is a real proble-“

“LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU”

(he thinks global warming is real he just. doesn’t want to talk abt it bc he knows you will Never Shut Up once you start)

you hand him coffee on his way out in the mornings when you know he has a long day ahead and he pats you on the head in thanks every time

jae cooks for you too !!! we love equality

he sticks to pretty simple stuff but he was living alone for a while so he had to know at least a little so he could like. survive

and believe it or not the both of you are not always sunshine and daffodils

when you’re upset he always knows and makes sure to be there if you need anything but basically just leave you alone

he has a tendency to misread the situation and think it’s still cool for him to joke around but you are Actually Angry

and it’s gotten him into lots of trouble so instead he is supportive from afar and does his best to be not offensive

when he’s upset he’s usually super mopey and writes sad song lyrics all day

you forcefully drag him out of his room to make sure he eats and do your best to cheer him up by whatever means necessary

you’ve embarrassed yourself just to hear that laugh of his

the one where he opens his mouth really wide and gasps a little and his eyes squeeze shut

……… fuckin cute

anyways you guys are just dating already but don’t even realize

until one of your coworkers asks you to come out after work and you say no

and it’d be Friendly and Normal if you did it because you promised jae you would cook that night

or you had made plans with him or something

but you were just uncomfortable doing any of that kind of stuff with some Not Jae guy

and after that your eyes are ~wide open~ sister

you find yourself giggling a little too long when he jokes around with you

you can’t help it okay his presence is like a RUSH of serotonin

and imagining yourself doing couple things with jae

turning your usual dinner outings into dates in your head where he holds your hand as he drives and sits next to you in the booth so he can sling a long arm around your shoulders

you let yourself become the slightest bit more affectionate

tucking yourself under his chin every night before you split to your separate rooms

tugging on his hand to get his attention and then playing with his long fingers

you know he notices because god damn how could he not notice ??

he has literally bad vision but he can read the signs

This Ain’t His First Rodeo

he is hesitant to become involved with someone he depends on so much

the age old dilemma of wanting someone but then being afraid to lose them because of it

he wouldn’t admit it but you were quite literally the light of his life

he had been so lonely in his apartment before, living off of instant ramen simply because he didn’t want to cook anything and holing up in his room writing about loneliness and being lost

then you showed up with your bright eyes and took every weird quirk of his in stride and nagged him about eating better and washing his clothes “properly”

(he thinks when you say “properly” you just mean your own way but that’s besides the point)

he even liked when you would take his glasses and wear them and do terrible impressions of him because you looked so CUTE in them

he thinks you’d look cute in all of his belongings but again

are the both of you ready to cross that line?

of course u are lol what else am i supposed to write about

fourth wall break: over

okay so wonpil keeps coming over when he knows jae is gone to try to convince you that the two of you are in love and should get married and have little mini jaes and whatnot

you inform him that he’s CRAZY and that jae thinks of you as a roommate and friend and that’s IT

and as much as you want to think you’re denying wonpil because you’re embarrassed you’re starting to actually believe it

he’s never shown any sort of real interest in you that is out of the realm of Friendly Roommates

and yeah sometimes you guys snuggle but wonpil is literally wrapped around your right arm at this very second so . not valid

wonpil is basically BEGGING at this point for you to see what he sees

which is jae actually being sickeningly in love with you

even if you did believe him at all …. that’s an exaggeration and you both know it

“y/n he’s writing a SONG. about YOU. that boy love loves you. big time”

“people write songs for their friends all the time”

“not jae !! he’s never written a song that hasn’t been about love or loss, you choose which one you’ll be”

“oh shit that was deep”

“i know right? can you believe i came up with that on the spot? wig.”

and then you smack him for being a fckin twitter stan and continue with your argument

jae walks in just as it starts to get physical

wonpil is latched onto your leg as you squirm and wiggle around trying to throw the LEECH off your leg

jae detaches him with a well placed finger between his ribs that makes him squeal Very Loudly and let go

unfortunately you had been leaning all your weight to one side to counteract wonpil and when he let go you went careening sideways

jae just barely grabbed your wrist and yanked you back up

and then you stumbled into him and he stumbles and you both almost fall before getting your shit together

you’re standing pressed together with his feet spread apart so that you’re a little bit closer to his height as you latch onto his shoulders for balance

one of his arms slides around your middle to hold you against him while he used the other to make sure his guitar case doesn’t just fall off his shoulder

wonpil is on the ground holding his rib cage and fake crying when jae goes

“enough wonpil i could hear you yelling like a block away what is going on here???”

you peep out a nothing !!! at the same time wonpil yells

“i’m trying to convince y/n of TRUE LOVE that’s what”

“oh …. y/n is in love?”

“y/n is in DENIAL”

you plead with him to stop please wonpil

and he is relentlessly ranting about how you refuse to “see the light” and how happy you could be

jae sees that this is actually upsetting you from your flushed cheeks and furrowed eyebrows and the way you clutch the hem of his sweatshirt

“alright that’s enough. wonpil go home you lovesick fool”

wonpil trudges out and gives you a sneaky kiss on the cheek

jae has to hold you back when you lunge after him

after you’ve calmed down he slowly slides his arm from being wrapped around your middle to just barely brushing your back

you didn’t mean to get so worked up but like . wonpil is good at that okay

and he was basically going to out you to jae ????:??:!:?:$,&3!:8;

that’s a stressful event

you feel your breathing even out and you sigh in frustration

“i’m sorry y/n, he does that sometimes :/“

“it’s fine it was just . a lot”

“yeah”

you stand in silence for a good minute when jae drops his hand from your back and ducks his chin

“was he…. telling the truth?”

and you want to die because wonpil wasn’t even there and you’re still getting outed !!!!

“which part?”

“the part where you’re in love with someone”

“i wouldn’t say ….. love”

“oh”

and this is just painful so you take a deep breath and just

“okay listen i really really get it if you don’t return the feelings and it’s fine i just … please don’t kick me out i really love living here and all your band members coming over and i even love wonpil !!!! even though he’s a little crazy !!! and i love your fat cat mr.crackers and dancing around to old green day and watching shitty romance movies just to make fun of them and i just don’t want this to end!! we can forget it ever happened and i swear i’ll just. get over it or something and i-“

“okay don’t get too hasty about forgetting it i haven’t even said anything yet”

you stare at him wide eyed

“i’m sorry . what.”

“i can’t believe it took wonpil bodily attacking you for you to say that”

and then he drops his guitar with a thud and steps into your space to slide a warm hand around the nape of your neck

he pulls you closer and stops when your noses brush

“is this okay?” he whispers

“why are you whispering?” you whisper back

“shut up” he breathes right back

he smiles and then tugs you forward and tilts his head down to plant his lips on yours

he’s soft and tentative and pulls away after just a few seconds to press kisses to your cheeks and the tip of your nose

“if it’s worth anything i like you too,”

“are you kidding me that’s worth EVERYTHING ???”

and then you pounce on him and bury your face into the dip of his shoulder because you can’t reach his neck

damn skyscraper

he stumbles at first but then smiles down at your flushed face absolutely squished against his bony chest

he thinks it’s cute though and cranes his neck down to lay his cheek across the top of your head and loop his arms around you

dating jae is even better than you thought it would be !!!

wonpil wasn’t lying when he said jae was writing a song for you and when he plays it for you and sings so sweetly you cry your fckin eyes out

and he’s laughing and pulling you in to situate you on his lap with his guitar long forgotten leaning against the couch and asking you when you became such a softie

you look up at him with tears in your eyelashes and love in your eyes and he positively melts

he kisses your forehead and ruffles your hair and calls you kid like he didn’t just profess his undying love for you through song like the cliche he is

the two of you spend the whole night wrapped up in each other, expressing all the affection you’d missed out on in the last few weeks

you hadn’t realized how…. touchy jae is until now

he can barely function without his good morning kiss

“y/n i am a weak, weak man pls give me a kiss or else i won’t make it through the day,”

..you also hadn’t realized he was this dramatic lmao

the boys supremely unsurprised when they burst into your apartment to find you straddling jae with your fingers in his hair

i’m telling you they don’t even PAUSE in their steps they just look at you and acknowledge it

and then brian just …. takes a seat next to you guys and is like

“are y’all done i wanna watch this redbox movie and return it tonight before i gotta pay for another day”

you’re both cherry red in the face and untangle yourselves in astonishment at his casual tone

dowoon is rummaging around in your fridge and calls out from the kitchen that the two of you were the most obvious people on the planet and that the rest of the band was in the same boat as wonpil they just weren’t absolute psychos

wonpil: this is true but i resent that

all of you settle back into a comfortable dynamic

you’re super happy that your relationship with jae didn’t make anything weird

it probably helped that the very first night that jae mentioned in passing that you were cute and the band had never let it go since

it also probably helped when wonpil pointed out your actual literal heart eyes the first time you saw jae

……………. they were just waiting for it to happen tbh

anyways

nowadays you spend your mornings parting ways with a kiss and your evenings snuggled up together on the couch exchanging eskimo kisses and sweet nothings and you couldn’t be happier

<3