#pinning this until i get out of this funk

[reblog-house]

I'm in a fucking hyperactive hyperEVERYTHING rush rn holy shit I am SO sorry to anyone who's following me in these moments I can't control myself my.heart is racing and i can't stop laughing and AAAAAAAAAAA. Im SO excited. For what? I just am! Very! Very very!!! Excited!!!!!!! Just excited. Excited!!!

[sarawritestories]

Unwavering Presence Chapter 12

Cassian X Archeron Sister (Reader)

Summary: Cassian and Y/N both have a nightmare and look for comfort within each other. Spending a week out in pure bliss of cooking, meeting with a sweet Illyrian girl and snuggling in bed the couple hit a snag in the road.

Content Warning: Nightmares that depict murder, Asphyxiation, mention of wing clipping and scars. Weaponizing trauma against a victim and cliffhanger

Word Count:4.6K words

Banner used by @saradika

A/N: the last few sneak peeks I posted about are not in here but will be in the next one, I'm so sorry this took so long I was in a funk I couldn't shake! Though I'm not sorry for the cliffhanger.

ACOTAR MASTERLST

My arms were pinned above my head with Xavier’s hand gripping both of my wrists tightly. I writhed under him as he pawed at me. “Dolls, don’t move this much.” With his free hand he gripped my neck and forced his tongue down my throat as he pressed his length against me. Tears warmed my cheeks as my moan of agony was swallowed up by his mouth. “Shhh. It’s alright, it’ll be over soon.” He whispered over my lips as he slanted them down over mine again and I began to squirm. Xavier released the grip of my neck, his leather clad finger touching down my naked body. Until he reached my clit, and I gasped causing him to slither his tongue into my locking me tightly into place as he began to play with me like a toy.

I kept my eyes open as his disheveled blond hair fell forward from his face and tickled my collarbone. He moaned in my mouth as he slid a digit inside me, and I tried kicking my legs. Only the sharp sting of his hand against my core caused me to pause. “Stay still or I will get the spreader bar.” His blue eyes bore into mine with a seriousness that chilled my blood. “Do you understand?”

I steadied a breath, “Yes sir.”

He smiled, kissing me again, the feeling of his mouth on mine made me feel dirty and made me want to shrink into myself. Having enough I bit down on his bottom lip hard. He released me and I rose to my feet and tried to flee. His hand gripped my hair and I screamed, “No!” As Xavier yanked me back and forced me to my knees. “Get off me!” I shrieked.

“Let’s fix that mouth of yours, shall we?” He pressed the tip of his cock against my lips, the precum coating them, He released my hair only to pinch my nose. It didn’t take very long for my lungs to cry out for air, and I opened my mouth. Before he could do anything, a growl emulated from the corner, “Do not touch her.” Cassian’s voice grounded out. His siphons were the only thing I could distinguish as my vision was beginning to go out of focus.

Cassian had come for me, and when I turned to see him, silver glimmered in the illumination of the moonlight, and I screamed but it was too late. Graysen had taken the steel and sliced Cassian’s wings. “Cassian!” I cried out as the assault to his beautiful wings continued. I reached out for him only for Xavier to loop his arm around my waist. “Cassian!” He groaned on the floor, blood pooling underneath him. As I made another attempt to reach out to him. To have my fingertips reach his. “Please wake up, please wake up, Cassian.” I sobbed.

Bolting awake sweat raced down my back and face as I took in my surroundings, realizing I was in my room in the cabin and not in human lands. A little voice in the back of my mind kept saying:

Find him. Find him. Find him.

Rising from my bed I padded my way to the door to go find the General of the Night Courts Armies.

Cassian’s POV

 Screams erupted all around me as my brothers and I raided the camp in search of my mother. Her screams flooded the camp, and I locked eyes with Rhysand and with a dip of his chin I bolted to the sound of her screams. My lungs were burning as I pushed myself to run faster thought my mother's screams were still so far from me. The night breeze pierced my skin as I pushed forward as the outline of the camp came into view.

As I entered the threshold of the camp another bloodcurdling scream rang through the camp, no one stirred, no one came to her aid. Weaving through the makeshift cabins the silhouette of male and a kneeling female caught the corner of my gaze. I changed course and headed in the direction where my mother’s beautiful face came into view. Terror consumed her features as tears ran down her face. “I’m sorry, my sweet boy.” Her voice cracked and Cassian collapsed to his knees. Mother pulled his face close to hers, “Look at how you’ve grown, Sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.” She connected her forehead to mine, and I shut my eyes and took in her scent of snow and wildflowers.

“Cassian.” The voice caused my eyes to shoot open, and no longer was my mother’s eyes looking back at me but the familiar hues of Y/N. “Cass.” Her voice was shaky, and her fear was palpable.

I felt arms loop around mine and angrily yanking me back from the youngest Archeron sister, “No! Get off me!”  I thrashed as the two Illyrians pulled me away and the male that was behind Y/N lifted his battle Axe. My siphons roared to life and red power blasted from my body. The two warriors release me and I bolt toward, Y/N as the Axe slices through her neck.

I fall to my knees as the assassin drops the axe, “Long live the queen.” The male murmured barely falling to my ears as the gruesome scene laid bare in front of me.

I could feel the presence of my brothers as they approached and my tears turned into sobs as I lifted the body close to mine, Ignoring the fact her head was not attached and sobbed.

I bolted awake, sweat coating my skin and along my hair line. Pulling my hair up in a bun I sat at the edge of my bed trying to catch my breath. It took a few minutes before I took in my surroundings and realized that I was in the Cabin. Y/N’s room was right next to mine and just needing her in my arms I stood up and headed to find her.

Opening my door, I stepped out to find Y/N emerging from her room. Her face met mine and I could see the tear-soaked cheeks and her gaze met mine. “Hey.” She said tucking her bottom lip between her lips.

“Hey, you.” I gave her a small smile; I rubbed the back of my neck. “I was actually coming to find you.

“Oh?” She gave me a small tilt of her lips upward. “I was coming to find you too.”

Something warmed my chest at her words, and I held out my hand, “Come on, Princess.”

Y/N hesitated, then in a flash she slapped my hand away and wrapped her arms around my waist. Pressing her face into my chest. I heard her release a soft sigh as I coiled my arms around her. “I had a terrible dream.” She murmured.

I pressed my chin to the top of her head taking the scent in. She was here, she was alive, she was in my arms. “Me too,” my hand slides up her back and runs through her hair.

She sniffled and my body went rigid, “Graysen chopped your wings.” She whispered. She pulled back to look at them, her gaze was assessing, and I stilled as I realized she was checking for injuries.

I stroked my thumb against her cheek grabbing her attention, her eyes filled with worry.  “I’m okay, Princess, I flexed my wings so she can see they are uninjured. “My wings are perfectly fine.”

Y/N nodded, “What about you? You said you also had a nightmare,” Her voice a soft whisper and she gripped my hand, her soft fingers a stark contrast my calloused ones.

“I’m alright.” Her brows furrowed causing a little indent on her forehead. I leaned down pressing my lips where that crease resided and pulled away. Satisfaction bloomed in me as her face relaxed slightly, the wrinkles disappeared. I took her hand in my own and I quietly led her back to my room.

“Cassian What are you doing?” She questioned me as I opened my door.

“You have ruined my sleep schedule, Princess. If it’s alright with you, I would like you in my bed.”  Her cheeks tinted with the lightest shade of pink though panic enraptured her eyes, as if she was going back to a memory with Xavier. I tugged her hand lightly, “Hey no,” I leaned down to meet her eye level as my free hand gripped the back of her neck. “Come back to me, Sweetheart.” She blinked once… twice and there she was, my girl.  “I just want to hold you while we sleep.  Your presence comforts me.”  I chewed on the inside of my cheek at the admission.

Y/N gave me one of her toothy grins, one that could make me fall to my knees. “I’d like that. I sleep better when you’re close.”

I pressed my lips to hers for a moment and then kissed the tip of her nose, “Let’s get you to bed.” I adjusted my hands to hold her back and under her knees and picked her up and held her close to my chest. She gripped her arms around my neck and her Jasmine scent immediately calmed me.  “You died.” I whispered as I kicked the door shut behind me and continued and made strides to the bed. I placed her down at the edge of the bed.

Crawling in next to her, she laid her back, her kind warm eyes never leaving mine. “I what?”

Lying on my side and wrapping my arm around her stomach pulling her close. I nuzzled my face in her neck, peppering it with soft featherlight kisses moving up to her jaw and pressing my forehead to the side of her face, “In my nightmare.” I murmur against her skin. “I watched you get slaughtered in my dream. It started off with me looking for my mother and when I found her, she morphed into you.” I could hear her heart begin to race and I tried to rub soothing circles against her clothed side to calm her. “I watched you die. I just…” I paused and released a sigh, pulling away from her. Laying on my back fanning out my wings holding my hand out and felt her soft hand slip into mine and my fingers curled around hers. “I just needed a reminder that you were ok, that you were alive.”

“Darling,” Y/N whispered shifting on the bed and could feel her facing me. “Look at me.” I refused, she pulled her hand away from mine and her cool delicate fingers found my cheek and she lightly pushed my face to meet hers and her eyes held nothing, but warmth and comfort and I could feel a tug at my chest. She sat back, adjusting the pillows against the headboard as she sat back. Her hand still touching my face she lightly tugged, “Come here, Cassian.”

The tone of her voice made me move, and I braced my arms on both sides of her hips, a few loose strands falling from my bun. She swiped them out of my face and then she patted her chest, “Lie down,” My body obeyed her command instantly my arms slid around and gripped her back. My ear pressed against her breast where her heart held a steady strong beat. She was showing me that she was alive. She tugged the bun from my hair, and it cascaded down in every direction. As if she could sense my need for her touch, she began running her fingers through my hair. “Feyre would do this for me when I had a bad dream. Especially when I left Xavier. This was the best thing she could come up with to calm me.”

“Remind me to get her flowers before we go home?” I grumbled, snuggling my head deeper into her chest. “This is nice.”

Y/N kisses the top of my head and begins to hum a soft tune, after a few moments the hums turned into words, and she began to softly sing in my ear. A lullaby I was unfamiliar with. Though I can’t focus on the words as her soft melodic tone seeped into my bones and wrapped around my soul. Her beautiful voice, her fingers massaging my scalp and her strong pulse ringing in my ear my eyes grow heavy. Before slumber can pull me under, I could have sworn she whispered, “It belongs to you anyway.” Then sleep consumed me.

I stirred the next morning to find my head pressed against a pillow.  I lifted my head up blinking away the sleep and found the side of the bed cold. Pans collapsing and clanging on the ground in the kitchen followed by a slew of curses had me sliding out of bed, tying my hair back and following the sound. Making sure to quiet my footsteps I leaned against the door frame leading into the kitchen. Y/N was grumbling picking up the scattered cook wearing her hair in a braid that looked disheveled. Her cheeks were flushed, and I couldn’t help but admire her plump ass as she bent over to put things away, fighting the urge to collide my hand against it with a sharp slap. As she stood, and grabbed something off the counter, I made my presence known, “What’s going on in here?”

Y/N must not have noticed I was here because she jumped and in doing so the contents of the bowl she was holding flew in the air and landing all over her. She turned to look at me and pushed out her bottom lip, “You ruined my surprise.” She mumbled, shaking her head to get the flour out of her hair; a plume of flour swirls around her.

I pushed off the doorframe and approached her as I fought the laughter from escaping my lips. I looked at the contents on the table and my chest heaved. “You were trying to make breakfast?”

The youngest Archeron sighed in defeat, “You were upset last night because of your dream, and you made breakfast for me when I was upset. I was trying to do the same.” She looked at the mess in the kitchen, “Clearly, its not working out and I woke you up in the process. I’m sorry.”

This time I do laugh, and she tucks her head down in embarrassment. I lift her face and wipe some of the flour off her face. “My sweet, Princess. You’re cute. How about this. You go get cleaned off. I will clean up here and we can cook together.

Her face lit up, “Really?” I nodded and she smiled, “I’ll be right back.” She bolts out of the room and called out, “I’ll bring you down a shirt.”

I chuckled and began cleaning up.

The smell of eggs wafted through the kitchen as Y/N whisked the mixture for pancakes and I fried our eggs. She was swaying her hips dancing to whatever melody was in her head, “Do you always do that?”

She turned continuing her little dance moves as she poured the batter onto the pan, “Do what?” Pulling away when she gets a few perfect circles on the pan.

“Dance when you’re doing something?” She looked up and the dancing stopped as she thought about it.

“I guess I never noticed before.” She placed the bowl down, and held out her hand, “May I have this dance, General?” She wiggled her eyebrows her hair neatly put up a Violet bow in her hair wearing her leathers.

I flipped the eggs and glanced at her from my periphery and her eyes shifted from playful to soft and pleading her lips pushed out in a pout. Knowing that I could deny her nothing I tucked in my wings and gripped her hand in mine and my other around her waist as her hand rested on my bicep. I began to sway with her in the kitchen, flexing my bicep muscle every now and then. “We might burn the food.” I pointed her out as spun her around and pulled her back into my arms.

“We might,” She hummed. She smiled, “But we’ll at least have some fun.”  

I rolled my eyes and tapped her butt. “I don’t like wasting food, back to the pancakes, Princess.”

She grumbled and crossed her arms but made her way back to the pancakes and flipped them. Y/N proceeded to swish her hips and as we finished making breakfast, I found myself moving my hips along with her and getting swept up by the invisible beat she was dancing to.

When we finished eating our breakfast, I pressed my lips in a tight line watching as the sun gleamed on Y.N as if the mother was praising her handy work in how beautiful she made her. My lips turned upward as she furiously scratched words into her journal. She was focused and I rubbed at my chest trying to ease the tightness there. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

Y/N looked up from her journal and the sun glinted around her hair like a halo, “Sure. What’s up?”

“The other day when I had to leave because there was an incident that happened at the camp.” She tilted her head and I continued, “A little girl had her wings clipped. It’s a terrible tradition my people have when a girl has their first bleed. They take away their ability to fly, so they can focus on doing housework. It was one of the first thing that was banned when Rhys came into power, but the leaders of the camps still find work arounds.”

There was a tick in Y/N’s jaw, her eyes becoming glassy. She cleared her throat, “That’s horrific. We can discuss that later though, what’s the favor?” She shut the notebook and straightened her posture she reminded me of a solider waiting for orders.

“The little girl, Grace is her name, asked if I could bring you over to visit.” I smiled as her face shifted to one of shock. “She wanted to meet the human who saved her and her family.”

Y/N stood up and pressed a hand to her chest, “I would be honored. Can we go now?”

“Of course, Princess. Let’s get going.”

 We landed back into the camps and placed Y/N down and gripped her hand and walked her over to one of the cabins. She squeezed my hand and took a deep breath. Once we reached the front door Y/N knocked twice and waited as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. “You, okay?”

She simply nodded and before she could speak the door opened and both of us had to look down to find Grace looking back up at us. “Hi Cassie! She ran up and hugged my legs. I pressed my hand on the back of her head, my grin growing wide.

“Hi, Little one.” I said and got down on a bended knee and held her tiny hands, “How are you feeling?”

Her eyes beamed, “I feel so strong, though my wings hurt when I stretch them. Will that ever go away?” I opened and shut my mouth unsure what to say but then Y/N cleared her throat and saw Grace realized there was another person with me. “It will pass, with time though every now and again it will throb. It will be more uncomfortable than painful.” She whispered and got down on her knee. “I’m Y/N, I heard your name is Grace.”

Grace lit up at the sound of her name, “Cassie, you kept your promise!”

I placed a hand on my chest in mock offense, “I’m sorry as your General I always keep my promises.”

Grace moved from my embrace and walked toward Y/N grabbing her hand and leading her inside the cabin and I followed behind the two girls. I was greeted by Grace’s mother, her brown hair pinned up, her wings tucked tightly, and she pressed a hand on my arm, “Thank you, General. She hasn’t stopped talking about being brave for her Cassie. Your kindness has made this whole situation easier for both of us.”

I held her hand gently in mind and gave it a squeeze, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t there sooner. I wish I could have prevented it.”

Grace’s mother provided a small, “It may not have been preventable, General.”

“Please call me, Cassian.”  I smiled.

“Diana,” She returned, “Go on Gracie. hasn’t stopped talking about you bring Y/N here.”

I walked deeper into the cabin in the common living space to see Gracie drawing and Y/N coloring alongside her. “Y/N where you hurt like I was?”

I stilled and watched as Y/N’s posture stiffened though she gave a smile, “Yes, a bad man hurt me. I have scars on my back because of it. But we do share one thing in common with each other.”

Grace eyes grew wide, “We do?”

Y/N nodded her body relaxing once more, “Cassian came to help us, when we needed him most.” Gracie looked over to where I was standing. Y/N’s gaze was burning the side of my face and when I met her stare she smiled.  

“He is like a knight in shining armor saving the princess!” Gracie squealed. “We were the princess!”

I smiled and walked into the room, “You sure are!” Grace ran up to me and leapt into my arms and I was quick to catch her.  “Cassie, are you going to marry Y/N?”

Y/N coughed the air becoming tight with uncomfortable silence. I cleared my throat, “I have to know, curious girl, why would you ask that?” I tickled her sides, and she began to giggle.

“Well, you saved her from the bad man, and you were holding her hand when you walked in. You clearly love her.”

I looked at the woman in question her cheeks were flushed but she said, “Well, Cassian is a good male, he will always help someone in need. As for him holding my hand he is aware that I get nervous and fidget, he was trying to bring me comfort.”

Grace furrowed her brow, “But you two must get married. I know you love each other.”

Y/N smiled, “Tell you what we can revisit marriage when we come and visit again.”

Grace gasped, “You want to come visit again?”

I flicked the child’s nose, “Of course we’re coming back, I have to check the bravest female in windhaven.”

Grace puffed out her chest in pride. “I won’t let you down, Cassie.”

I nodded, “You never could!”

“Would you two like to stay for dinner?”

Grace smiled, “Yes they would,” there was no room for argument, and we stayed for dinner.

The next week, Y/N and I fell into a routine, meals together, she would go in the study and write as I went to the camps. We still had not heard from Rhys so I had to assume that they were still in the Summer Court. When I get back Y/N and I would make dinner together and then she would get into one of my shirts and I would hold her close to my chest and we would simply fall asleep.

One day I left for Windhaven to discuss some plans with Devlon and enforcing that the females are aloud to train.

Devlon crossed his arms, “They will train after their chores, Is that simply not good enough?”

I snarled, “They deserve to have the choice to not do the chores if they don’t want to.”

Devlon snorted, “Says the male who is parading human trash around, and she follows you around like a little pup.”

I bared my teeth at him, “Mind your place, Lord. She is under the protection of your High Lord. Your just mad she bruised your pride.”

Devlon lifted his chin the sign of pure arrogance, “I could care less of an opinion of someone beneath me as a human whore, who is sleeping with a bastard born brute.”

I clenched my fist as my jaw ticked, “I will not tolerate your tone, step out of line again, and I will be personally mandating all your men doing the chores while the girls will train.” I took a step closer to him, “I hear you say one more thing about Y/N Archeron, I will not hesitate to sink your teeth in. Are we in an understanding.”

Devlon walked around me and made sure to collide with my soldier, “The females will train. Get out of my Camp, General,” He drawled out my title and left the tent.

Frustration pent up I followed him out and took to the skies to head back to the Cabin.

Once I reached the Cabin, I noticed the fae lights still on, I was later than I anticipated, but I walked in and kicked the snow off my boot and slammed the door behind me. The anger stirring in my gut was festering and I didn’t want my princess to be subjected to that. I stomped up to my room and slammed the door. I sat on the bed and pressed my palm against my eyes to try to relieve the pressure that had started to bloom in my head.

There was a soft knock on my door. “Cass? Are you okay?”

“Go away, Princess.” I murmured and pressed my palm deeper into my eyes. As the door opened.

I heard her footsteps growing near her and I pulled my hands away from my face and leveled a glare at her. She paused and retreated a step, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She spoke quietly, my eyes glazed to her hands where she was picking at her nails, she was nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. I want to be alone.” I barked out. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair.

When I looked back at her she looked stricken, as if I hit her.  She pressed “Cass, let me help.”

I snorted my rage boiling over as I rose to my feet, and she took an instinctive step back. I barely registered the fear in her eyes, “Tell me, Y/N, how could you help me. You can barely help yourself. Always hoping someone will save you; Rhys, Az, Feyre, are you that incompetent of taking care of yourself. That you resorted to sleeping with an abusive-“

I didn’t get the sentence out before her hand collided with my cheek. “You know I was coming to check if you were okay. I did not expect you to be a prick. I made dinner all by myself, so you came home to warm meal.” Guilt washed over me at her words, “Whenever you feel like acting like a grown adult; come join me.” She turned and headed for the door, “I don’t need a reminder about how low and insignificant I am.” She taps her head, “I hear those words repeatedly in my head, and yet Nesta had never failed to remind me of just how worthless, and beneath her I am.” Her voice cracked and it matched the ache in my heart, “I never thought you would stoop so low.”

Looking up at me I could see the hurt in her tender eyes. “Princess, Wait.” Her shutting the door; the solitary clicks of the door meeting its latch, was the only sound in the room.

For a moment I stared at the empty space where she had stood, then I crumpled to my knees. Tugging at my hair, my brain began to whirl, Hurt, Hurt, Hurt. You Hurt her. I had made her feel the same way she felt with Xavier and Nesta. “What. Have. I. Done?” I whispered as I curled in a ball my wings cocooning me, trying to block out the sobs I heard coming from the other room.

I am a monster.

Chapter 13

Story Tags: @hellodarling1357 @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @amara-moonlight @impossibelle @esposadomd @sleepylunarwolf @stressed-reader @kylaisra @marvelouslovely-barnes @magicstrengthandcourage @spideytingley @awkardnerd @donttellthecats @tastydewdrops @vermillionwinter @asweetblueberry2 @bunnyredgirl @homeslices @azriels-mate2 @oksloan3 @wallacewillow0773638 @fandom-crashlanding @writingstreetspirit @hannzoaks @minnieloo @tuggboatfishin @judig92 @atrxidxs @dustyinkpages @secretlyhers @mxblobby @blogforficslol @historygeekqueen @turtleshavesoulmates @scooobies @anuttellaa @earth-to-lottie @slytherintaco @fxckmiup @tinystarfishgalaxy @cheesebookgirl @oucereeng @st0rmyt @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @misslunatic1655 @azrielsmate3 @nebarious @tele86 @chelsiemp @fightmedraco @blackgirlmagicforever @fullmoon-94 @thehighlordishere @jenniferpendragon @ray4hotchner @phoenix666stuff @misskennygirl @whitewolfsbitch @highladyivy @tenaciousperfectionunknown @packsvlog @heyyhelloohii @parabatai-winchester @julesofvolterra @lilah-asteria @lyanna133 @mp-littlebit @nickishadow139 @milswrites @eve175

[gatorbites-imagines]

I'm so sorry if you were not mental prepared for this info during your spiderman brainrot..

But, fun fact with a lot of spiders their mating rituals have the male lay down a "spermweb" to attract mates. As well as fear is a big part of what turns them on, female spiders being 2x the size of males, tending to have the dominant role. Pinning is also a big part of it as well. (Male spiders actually tend to be much more skishes.)

So imagine your spiderman of choice being in mating season, with a mix of these feelings due to them being half spider. Them making a den like structure with every blanket in their apartment, being very timid wanting to hide, because of how embrassing these feelings and thoughts are to them. But getting so unbelievably horny at the thought of you pinning them down in their den and fucking them until they see stars. You being extremely rough with them, them wanting you to mark up their entire body.

Them trying to get themselves off, and trying not to give into the urge to text/call you begging for you to comeover.

Ben Reilly x male reader

Headcanons

Hallo everynyan. I am not dead, I just have felt the worst case of writers block I’ve had in a while. Trying to get myself out of this funk, so here’s something about Ben Reilly, as I haven’t seen a single x male reader about him.

You and Ben would have been dating for a while before his heat hits him, leaving him scrambling through his apartment to start gathering blankets and other materials he can use to make a structure.

It’s not fully a nest, its more like a pillow and blanket fort, closed off from the outside world. There’s webs all over it too, almost like Ben was marking his territory, or some animalistic part of himself was saying “hey, this is mine, back off”-

Ben would shoot off a text to his earths Peter, since they most likely work side by side, that he needs his patrol covered for personal reasons. Seeing as peter has heats as well, he understands and wishes Ben luck, offering to bring him stuff he needs.

After calling around with his job and getting his shifts covered, Ben would settle down into the structure, antsy and oh so uncomfortable in his skin. He would feel almost naked without you there, without your weight holding him down and your hands touching him.

Ben would never have told you about his heats if you weren’t another spider as they embarrass him so greatly, because they reduce him to a limp submissive mess. Normally he can just ride it out, but now that you two are dating his thoughts are filled with images of you, what he wants you to do to him, and how he wants you to do it.

He would wrap himself in the clothes you left at his apartment, his heightened senses letting him inhale your scent as he touches himself almost desperately.

It’s nowhere near enough without you there, but Ben is too proud to contact you. So it would end up with Ben laying there curled up in a ball, his fingers pumping in and out of himself as he listens to recording of you on his phone, be it voicemails or videos you two have taken.

If he has any pictures of you that show off your strength in any way, you bet he’s looking at those two. Think gym selfies, you hiking, you fixing a car, anything along those lines. It gets so bad that he busts just looking at a picture of you carrying 4 bags of heavy groceries on one arm.

After that shameful orgasm Ben realizes he probably won’t be able to do this without you, as the soul deep urge to be held and used by you grows by the day. In one of his less lucid and weaker moments he would send you a fumbled text before passing out.

When he wakes up you are there with him and taking care of him. Ben would try to play it off and stay cool, but he feels more submissive and meeker than usual, struggling to meet your eyes and lowering his head when you look at him.

You most likely contacted Peter for help, fearing Ben was dying or had been poisoned or something like that. When you learn it’s a spider heat, you are surprised but you would never leave Ben for something as small as that, you just wished he’d have told you before.

Ben would hesitate to let you help in the beginning, but soon the need for you, your power, your dominance, would break down his walls. He would follow orders so well, wanting nothing more than for you to tell him what to do.

He would burst immediately the first time you pin him down by the neck, his entire body locking up as he wails in pleasure, twitching and gasping. After that you’d take care of him, cleaning him up, and lay down on top of him as he slept.

Having you lay on top of him like a blanket help settle that deep urge inside him that he needs you there, and it tells his animal brain that you are watching out for him and protecting him as he sleeps.

After the heat is over you can expect Ben to be more open about his wants and needs, though he is still a little flustered about him. He’s still an overconfident guy, showing off and flexing his muscles at you, but he also wants to please you, and he melts under any and all praise you give him.

[treeofnonsense]

So I'm going to preface this by saying: I am cis as all hell. I'm not any form of trans or nonbinary, I have never been any form of trans or nonbinary, and thus I tend to stay pretty quiet on that front over here. Ain't my place to tell people who know better what to do, and I'm not trying to do that here. However, after having made a lot of friends under the trans umbrella, after being lucky enough to have some of those friends share with me some of their struggles, their joys, their lives, and after noticing a couple of patterns in their journeys... I think there is one message I would like to share that may help some of you to hear, if you'll give me a minute of your time, and I think it may have to come specifically from a cis person.

The message is this: If your cisgender friends are good friends, you being your true self is not a burden to them.

For the people in the back: If your cisgender friends are good friends. You being your true self with gender. Is not a burden to them.

I didn't know my friend in high school was trans until he transitioned socially and I heard his new name. He didn't tell me first because I was raised fundamentalist Christian and probably did not look like a safe person to tell; when I pulled him aside in class so no one else could hear us, told him he could tell me to buzz off if he was uncomfortable, and politely asked for confirmation on pronouns, I remember the surprise and joy on his face. It took me about five minutes of chanting his new name and pronouns in the shower to get it to stick in my brain. That tiny amount of effort was nothing compared to seeing him pull himself out of the depressive funk dysphoria had put him in, of celebrating senior year when he legally changed his name, of drawing him a snowflake dragon for Christmas and hiding the trans flag colors in the shimmer of the ice so it would get past our conservative school's radar. We became closer friends after he came out because I knew him better and he knew he could trust me. He got me my first ace ring. I was not only supporting him, but learning from him, and sharing in his joy.

The genderfluid roommate in college took me a little longer to adapt to, I'll be honest, I was still learning, but hey - it turns out it's not really that hard to check the pronoun pins on a lanyard before you address someone. It's pennies when that person comes along to teach you the wonders of thrift shopping and takes you to meet a drag queen for the first time. I've met so many people online whose identities I do not always intuitively understand, but who I support anyway, and who have made me consider so many new things. It's not a burden to know about my friends' journey when it comes to gender, it's a privilege to know them more deeply and be trusted in that way. It's a new dimension to this person I already love, that's all.

Look, I am not saying that all your cis friends are going to be perfect, that we're not going to fuck up occasionally because we don't know better or we had a bad day, that we understand everything - we're not, we will, and we don't. I am not saying that everyone is a safe person to talk to either - god knows that's not true, unfortunately. But. If your worry about expressing yourself is of being a nuisance, of burdening someone with your problems or needs, of being too much or too out-there or too confusing, consider this: Your friends may not only be willing to learn and help you, they may be happy to. In a true friendship, both people benefit from one person's joy. If you're happy because you're able to be your honest self, they'll be happy too. Suddenly that weird shyness and sadness they saw from you but didn't know the cause of has gone away. Heck, maybe they'll learn from you and start following in your genderfunky footsteps. Or maybe you'll just have a cis friend who texts you celebration emojis when you have a good gender day, or is there when you wake up from surgery, or goes shopping for new outfits with you, or even brings over ice cream when you're having a hard time. And then you both get ice cream. Come on. This is what friends do.

Be safe, of course. Trust your judgment when it comes to sharing information. But if you're simply scared, try to balance out the fear of what you may lose with the thought of what you may also stand to gain. Don't let the anxiety beast turn your identity into a problem. It's not a burden, it's a part of you, and the people who love you will love to meet it.

[hikarry]

What do you mean Spencer missed Hallowen? Sacrilege!

Lil guy over here was actually wearing his best Crowley skin at a party until 3am with his dear brother - whom dressed as a demon himself, which I did not miss the joke on, mind you - some old and new friends and an angel of my own

Oh yeah, I managed to do it. Not exactly the angel I had planned to go with, but an angel nonetheless and, I'm happy to announce, we were not the only angelic&demonic lil pair at the party, or the only bloody Crowley and Aziraphale!

Now, I won't share any pictures my Aziraphale and I took together because the only 2 I have have a bit of a problem: the first one was taken by the worst photographer on the planet (my Aziraphale. She might be a dear, but Jesus Christ-), the second one is not for public eye, but we do have planned on meeting again and probably doing a little Christmas inspired photoshoot, so hopefully the actual photographic proof there works out better

Mind you, I'm a stubborn idiot. We walked to the club and yours truly might or might not almost have broken his nose, being literally saved at least twice by the angel that partnered up with me for the night, pulling me away from stray street lamps, because I refused to take off my shades for "My eyes are not cannot compliant because my contact lenses were delayed in transit and didnt arrive yet" reasons, so i could barely see a meter in front of my own nose.

Long Halloween party story short:

- My Aziraphale got hit on by one of my friends because apparently I inspire no fear on these God forsaken people

- I quickly figured out Crowley does not wear that ridiculous lil tie for style, but for "Being Dragged Around By The Angel Like a Bloody Dog" reasons

- I did end up finding 4 other Crowleys (a gorgeous one escaping the cliché the 4 other copies fell into and actually choosing Eden Crowley and, my man, all the kudos to her. Not only were her wings absolutely gorgeous, but they MOVED) and we absolutely ganged up together for most of the night

- I learned that one should never try and recreate the Apology Dance while wearing slippery shoes on a floor sticky with alcohol, at risk of breaking a bloody leg (not me. Did give me a good laugh, tho)

- A really cool guy with a Tenth Doctor costume joined the Crowley gang at some point and kept paying for free beers for the rest of us which <3 I will never forget you, random fellow David Tennant fan whose name I don't recall

- Most songs were, as predicted, spooky themed, Brazilian funk or portuguese romantic/folk, which can be fun, don't mind me, but they did play Under Pressure almost at the end of the night and the 3 remaining Crowleys - yours truly included - may or may not have completely butchered the song, trying to "sing" (I would call it yell, if we are being realistic) as loudly as we could and jumping through the whole "Can we give ourselves one more chance?" segment of the song as my Aziraphale and the girlfriend of one of the other Crowleys (wearing that really gorgeous Wednesday Addams black dress she wears for a party in the TVshow, ya know the one) very heavily pretended they didn't know us, but hey: brotherhood amongst demons and what not. If Queen starts playing and one Crowley starts yelling and jumping, the other Crowleys shall yell and jump. It's the law

- Dunnot! I repeat: DUNNOT! Try to pin a taller Aziraphale against a wall when you are a Tiny Crowley because you will end up embarrassing yourself

All this to say: Good Omens fans are terrifying. We are literally everywhere, and we are all equally bloody sick. Yet, my fellow crazies keep being some of the coolest people I've ever met in my life. I swear, this fandom is the gift that keeps on giving, and I lowkey own my wildest night in 23 years to this silly fandom

Alas, pics? I got some silly selfies i took while getting ready and sent to some of my fellow degenerates

And, as proof of the lighting at the party being absolutely shit:

You cannot imagine how much I enhance the brightness on that damn photo and it was the only one I bothered taking for obvious reasons (yes, at that point my blazer and tie were being carried around by my Aziraphale because they were annoying the fuck out of me and I'm an arsehole that doesn't like to carry shit on his hands and my angel was a sweetheart)

Alas, I said I would do it and I did it

Happy belated Halloween, sweethearts

[nhasablogg]

Dungeons and tickles

Fandom: Stranger Things

Characters: Lucas/Max, Eleven, Will, Dustin, Mike

Summary: Lucas is slightly too stressed and so his friends decide he needs a distraction.

A/N: Commission for anon! I hope you like it!

Words: 2.5k

None of them really thought Lucas was cheating, because how the hell was he even supposed to do that? Buying weighted dice in Hawkins of all places was a near impossibility, and Lucas just wasn’t a good enough liar to be lying about his hit points. Besides, it made no sense to cheat in Dungeons and Dragons, a game which relied on player choices, dice rolls and the interpretation of a world through the eyes of one single creator. Not to mention Lucas’ evident respect for the game. It was simply absurd.

But it was just way too much fun to pretend that Lucas was cheating, as that agitated him more. He’d been a bit of a pain in the ass recently, tryouts for the basketball team keeping him jumpy and snappy, only for him to turn around and apologize immediately after. Still, the constant mood swings weren’t canceled out by the apologies, even though they all appreciated them. Roping him into the game, while Max and El sat on the sidelines and watched, had been hard to begin with, but his mind seemed to be wandering anyway, and so they knew he needed a proper distraction to get him out of his funk. What better way than to mess with him a bit?

“I’m not cheating,” he said for the tenth time, throwing up his hands as Dustin pointed at him and doing a good job of not bursting into laughter through his fake accusation.

“You are,” he shot back. “Tell me how you’re doing well when you’re obviously not all here.”

“Maybe I’m just that good.”

“Oh, please.”

Lucas raised his eyebrows in a way that was dangerous. “Do you have something you wanna say?”

Dustin grinned innocently at him. “No, nothing at all.”

“We can all see that you’re cheating though,” Will said, and Lucas sighed loudly.

“Not you too,” he said, rubbing at his temples. “I’m too tired for this. I give in. I’m going home.”

“Oh, come on,” Max said, grabbing his hand before he could stand up. “Don’t go. We’re having fun, right?”

“I’m being accused of cheating. That’s not fun at all.”

“So stop cheating.” Mike’s words made Lucas turn to him, annoyance evident across his face. “It’s as simple as that.”

“You know damn well I’m not a cheater.”

“Do I?”

Lucas gritted his teeth. “I’m leaving.”

Max’s grip on his hand suddenly tightened. “No.”

Everything was a blur after that; voices mixing and limbs tangling, until Lucas found himself pinned to the floor by them all, with Max most prominently straddling his waist.

“What are you doing?” he asked, suddenly aware that maybe all the accusing fingers were simply there to mess with him. He felt his annoyance melt away, being replaced by nerves instead. From the prospect of this, with Max on his waist, Will and Dusting holding his hands and Mike sitting on his legs, his body was left slightly too exposed for his liking. Eleven, who’d been quiet throughout it all, was sitting beside Max, smiling at him in a way that made him all the more nervous.

“We’re getting you back for cheating,” Max said, quickly dropping her facade. “And helping you get rid of all that excess energy you always have when you’re nervous about something.”

Lucas pulled weakly at his arms. “You can help me in other ways, you know. I don’t remember deserving whatever you’re about to do.”

“Uh, remember being rude to me at lunch today?” Dustin said.

Lucas rolled his eyes. “I said I was sorry.”

“Yeah, but you’d been rude the previous period too.”

“I’m going through a lot right now-”

“Oh, we know. This is simply just a bit of revenge.”

Lucas knew deep down what they were about to do, and so he turned toward Max, knowing if anyone would show him mercy it would be her. But Max was looking determined and Lucas realized he was doomed.

“Please don’t,” he said as she pulled up his shirt to expose his belly to the cold air of the basement.

“I’m sorry, but we have to.” She moved over to let El scoot closer beside her, the two of them sharing a look which he couldn’t interpret but which he knew meant trouble. He realized what was about to happen when they both leaned down, their faces coming close to his skin, seeming giddy like children.

Lucas screamed as they started blowing raspberries into his skin on either side of his belly, as if their lives depended on it, over and over, sending ticklish shocks through him. The initial panic merely doubled as Will suddenly started blowing raspberries into his neck as well, just beneath his chin where Lucas couldn’t shield himself. He could feel them laughing into his skin, enjoying this, and one part of him relished in their enjoyment. They’d not been kids for a long time. Maybe having to endure this was worth it just for the laughter.

Mike was going to town on his feet, holding onto his ankles for dear life lest he wanted to get his teeth knocked out. He’d grown taller, stronger over the summer, although Lucas was still stronger and probably always would be. Still, their tickle fights, rare as they were now, were no different from the ones they’d had as kids. Chaotic. Merciless. So much belly laughter they nearly couldn’t breathe. They’d not gotten Will as often as they used to after he’d gone missing and come back, but the few times they had - careful pokes, gentle smiles - had been reminders of childhood. Dusting screaming bloody murder whenever they got him. Mike running away until Lucas tackled him. Lucas having to be pinned by all three of them if they wanted to even attempt to poke him.

But Max had mellowed him out. Max had shown him it was okay to be vulnerable. Max, with her nimble fingers and teasing grin, who was beaming up at him now between raspberries. Max kept him young as the world around them tried to literally kill them. And in turn, Lucas remained gentle despite it all.

Lucas snapped out of his brief daydream (how the hell could he daydream through tickling like this?) when Mike switched spots, latching onto his hips which made them all shuffle around. He protested as they all paused their tickling for a moment, but no one was listening to him. Will simply grabbed his thighs, as if ready to squeeze at any moment, while Dustin wormed his fingers into his armpits, making him squirm from simply the contact. Max remained at his belly while El moved upward to take Will’s old spot at his neck, and suddenly Lucas wondered if he was to survive this. Max still had him straddled, but she was sitting up properly now, gently caressing his stomach as if to calm him. It tickled, but not enough to make him laugh. The only reason he was giggling now to begin with was due to the anticipation. He was pinned. He was exposed. He knew how this would end.

Did he plead? Of course not. He had a, somewhat misguided, ego to think of.

He would, though. Eventually. He knew that too.

The world was still for a moment, and then they all started at the same time, turning him into a momentarily fumbling mess of confusion, not knowing what sensation to react to first, until it all suddenly exploded simultaneously in the form of hysterical laughter. He felt Max’s hands around his belly button, squeezing around it lightly while El was curling her fingers under his chin. Those two things would be enough to have him begging for mercy, only somewhere beneath that he could feel Will squeezing his thighs, kind enough not to be gentle at the very least. He wasn’t sure if he could handle gentle scratching on his legs right now, not when Dustin was succeeding more and more in prying his arms up so that he could tickle his armpits more properly. Behind Max, somehow fitting between her and Will, Mike was still latched onto his hips, squeezing them in all his might. It was a miracle Lucas hadn’t bucked Max off in his struggle to escape, but later, when he’d been granted his much needed mercy, he would realize she probably wasn’t the only one pinning him down.

He could picture it. El and Will and Max taking turns holding his flailing arms, while Will held his legs down so that Mike could reach his spot. Or maybe it was Mike who was holding him down so that Will could tickle his thighs? Lucas didn’t know. Lucas couldn’t know from where he was lying, on his back on the floor, eyes squeezed shut as he laughed and laughed. He felt another raspberry on his belly, just beneath his navel, and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Max. A raspberry to his neck told him that Eleven was following suit, not necessarily a follower as much as being unsure of what was allowed. He was glad that, in the midst of it all, none of the others started blowing raspberries on other body parts. That would’ve been crossing several lines.

“Aha!” Dustin’s exclaim was heard through his laughter, but was mostly just noise to him now, busy as he was. He could tell his shout of triumph came from Dustin finally pinning one of his arms to the side, not fully above his head but enough so that he could wiggle his fingers in the hollow of his arm with no problem, making Lucas’ focus shift to him for a moment. It was probably the worst of it; how he couldn’t focus on one torture at a time, but was bouncing between them. One moment he was with Will, who was still squeezing his thighs as if his life depended on it, moving between spots at the speed of light. The next he was with Mike, who was tickling his hips at the same spot over and over, slowly driving him insane. Before he could notice anything else about it - if he was being gentle or not, how the hell could Lucas tell like this? - he was with Max again, who wasn’t blowing raspberries anymore but was instead circling a finger around his belly button, getting ready to dive in. Lucas would’ve asked her not to, would’ve screamed and pleaded and begged, had El not switched tactics in a drastic enough way that he noticed, transferring his ever moving focus to her.

“No!” he cried, possibly his first coherent word since this started. But El didn’t listen, because how could she even tell he was speaking to her? She simply tickled both sides of his neck at the same time, just below his ears, making it impossible for him to scrunch up for defense. And maybe that would’ve been his demise had Dustin not found the spot that connected his upper ribs to his armpit…

He didn’t know how he did it, only that Max was suddenly flying off of him and his foot had accidentally knocked into the side of Mike’s head, and maybe the sight would have been funny had he been in any other position. The momentary relief simply made for a worse continuation, when he’d tasted the lovely taste of a non-ticklish existence.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he said when Max started poking him, although not straddling him again.

“You did that on purpose,” she was saying, laughing along with him.

“Where did you get your strength from anyway?” Mike asked, holding his head. “Maybe you should audition for the wrestling club or something instead.”

“Mike, they’re not called auditions.”

“You know what I meant.”

Their game of DnD was forgotten, as were the accusations of Lucas cheating. The tickling was turning into a tickle fight rather than pure torture, but Lucas was drained and had a hard time putting up a fight, and so it wasn’t hard for Mike to grab his feet again or for Max to claw at the back of his ribs when he tried to roll away. The other three stayed back this time, except for the brief poke Dustin aimed at his ribs when Lucas rolled closer to him.

“Please, mercy, oh my god-”

“You think he’s had enough?” Will asked.

“He can take a bit more, can’t you, Lucas?” Lucas managed to catch the moment Max’s face softened as she grinned down at him, maybe realizing he wasn’t able to handle much more. “But maybe we should round it off. Does anyone want one last tickle before we let him go?”

“How about another raspberry?” El said, and Lucas could only close his eyes and lie there and take it as she, Max and somewhat surprisingly Will blew raspberries on his belly for another moment. It wasn’t as bad as the rest, but being all tickled out it was enough to send ticklish shocks through his body, although he did little to stop them.

“I knew you were still ticklish,” Dustin said when they’d helped him up again, hands rough against his skin to help rub out the residual tickles that they knew lingered on him.

“Did I ever say otherwise?” Lucas didn’t have the energy to sound annoyed.

“No, but it’s been a while since we tickled you.”

“You just tickled me enough to not have to do it again for the next ten years.”

“Or maybe we just caught up on what we’d missed.”

Dustin nudged him in the ribs and Lucas could only groan. “I’m so getting you back. I know how bad your belly is.”

“Big words from someone who was just begging for mercy.”

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about your knees, Wheeler. You all better watch your backs.”

They all laughed, knowing full well he wasn’t kidding.

“Are you okay?” Max asked him later, the two of them curled up on the couch when they probably should’ve gone home ages ago. “Did we go overboard?”

“Yes to both.” Lucas softened, like he always did when he could smell sleep on her. “But it’s okay. I guess I deserved it.”

“That you did.” She ran a finger over his lower ribs, not tickling him necessarily but also not staying clear off his sensitive spots. He shivered, for various reasons. “And needed it.”

He felt himself flush. “I guess.”

“You guess, huh.” She grinned and he squeezed her tighter to him.

“Don’t get cocky. I can totally get you back.”

“But you won’t.”

“Not here, no.” He kissed her temple. “But you better be very very nice to me later when we’re alone.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Of course you are.” A pause, and, “I know none of you believed I was cheating.”

Max snorted. “Of course we didn’t.”

“That, if anything, deserves its own revenge, don’t you think?”

He heard Max gulp. Revenge would be oh so sweet. If he needed tickles, he needed to hear her laughter so much more.

[wrestlingfaves]

Royal Rumble Marathon: 1996

We’re rumbling into 1996.

Spoilers for past Rumbles.

Sunny, from her bathtub, warns us viewer indiscretion is advised. The Attitude Era doesn’t officially begin until 1997 but hints of it began way back in 1995 with the Pamela Anderson skit and continues with Sunny’s vignettes.

The undercard:

Jeff Jarrett vs Ahmed Johnson. Meh.

The Bodydonnas (Chris Candido/Tom Prichard, accompanied by Sunny) vs the Smoking Guns (Billy & Bart) for the WWF Tag Team titles. More meh.

Billionaire Ted skit with a fake Hogan, Savage, and Mean Gene. We’re wasting pay per view time on this?

Recap of the Razor Ramon – Goldust feud. Mr Machismo doesn’t appreciate Golddust’s flirtations.

Golddust (accompanied by Marlena) vs Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental title. Was this Terri Runnel’s debut for the WWF? The commentators refer to Marlena as an “unknown woman”. Golddust and Marlena’s gimmicks are forerunners to the Attitude Era. Marlena causes a distraction as the 1-2-3 Kid attacks Razor, allowing Dustin to pin Ramon and become the new Intercontinental champion.

Hype vignettes for Royal Rumble participants: Owen, Jake Roberts, Jerry Lawler, Vader, Shawn,

For the first time the Rumble does not end the pay per view – we still have a Bret/Taker match for the World championship. I never like when the Rumble itself doesn’t end the pay per view.

The entrants, in order of appearance:

Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Henry Godwin

Bob Backlund

Jerry Lawler

Bob “Spark Plug” Holly

Mabel (accompanied by Mo) Mo remains at ringside – there doesn’t seem to be year to year consistency on whether seconds are allowed to remain at ringside.

Jake “the Snake” Roberts

Dory Funk Jr (Vince notes Terry was also invited but is watching the ppv from Germany)

Yokozuna

1-2-3 Kid (spends his first few minutes in the Rumble attempting to avoid an angry Razor)

Takao Omori (Vince actually mentions All-Japan by name!)

Savio Vega (formerly known as Kwang)

Vader (accompanied by Jim Cornette)

Doug Gilbert (Henning & Vince mention both USWA and Eddie Gilbert, Doug won a tournament in Memphis to qualify for the tournament)

Squat Team Member #1 (1/2 of the Headshrinkers)

Squat Team Member #2 (1/2 of the Headshrinkers)

Owen Hart

Shawn Michaels

Hakushi

Tatanka

Aldo Montoya

Diesel

Kama

“The Ringmaster” Steve Austin

Barry Horowitz

Fatu

Isaac Yankem, DDS

Marty Janetty

Davey Boy Smith

Duke Droese

 Winner: Shawn Michaels

Longest performance: Hunter Hearst Helmsley

First-time Rumblers: Hunter, Dory Funk Jr, 1-2-3 Kid, Omori, Vader, Doug Gilbert, the Headshrinkers, Hakushi, Aldo Montoya, Steve Austin, Barry Horowitz, Isaac Yankem

Surprise Entrants: Dory Funk, Omori, Doug Gilbert, the Headshrinkers

We have two “clear the ring without eliminating everyone” spots: Henry Godwin with his slop bucket (Backlund and Lawler are the recipients) and Jake Roberts using Damian (his snake) – Lawler gets covered with Damian. Was Lawler on someone’s shit list?

Vader does the “eliminate everyone” spot but as he was previously eliminated none of his eliminations count.

Lawler is the first participant in a Rumble to hide under the ring.

1996 is the first year all participants receive entrance music. Finally! A small thing but it adds to the presentation.

The pay-per-view ends with Bret Hart vs the Undertaker (accompanied by Paul Bearer).   Diesel causes a disqualification, costing Taker the match. The match was fine but I’m not a fan of Taker.

Interviews with Gorilla Monsoon, Shawn, Diesel, Vader, and Jim Cornette.

Rating: 4 out of 10

Wrestlers and others who have passed on: Howard Finkel, Curt Hennig, Chris Candido, Razor Ramon, Mable (Visera), Yokozuna, Vader, Owen, Paul Bearer, Gorilla Monsoon

Total number of deceased individuals: 10 (down 5 from the previous Rumble).

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

For April Fool’s 2024, I decided to do a bit inspired by Todd in the Shadows called Ford Analyzes Tunes And Song Stuff, or FATASS for short (a little nod to how Todd’s moniker can be shortened to TITS). Basically people would send me a song, and I would give some wacky analysis or review of the song that was probably the opposite of my actual, genuine opinion. For example, for Nickleback’s “Photoraph,” I claimed the entire song was actually a bittersweet gay romance. It was a fun exercise in crafting absurdity from even the most mundane or stupid lyrics. But it did leave me wanting to review a song for real… and what better than one of my favorite songs of all time?

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that need no introduction, but I’ll do it in case some of you out there don’t listen to good music and/or hate California: RHCP is a funk/alternative rock band formed in 1982, though they didn’t really cement their status as one of the best bands around until their release of the alt rock classic Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 1991, an album that produced the personal and powerful “Under the Bridge,” the hard rocking “Suck My Kiss,” and the all-time banger “Give It Away.” It’s a fantastic album, one of the most influential of its time, and many regard it as RHCP’s best work—including the band’s bassist, Flea. I’m certainly inclined to agree; it’s a nice middle ground between their heavily funk-influenced early work and their later more radio-friendly rock tunes. Don’t get the wrong idea here—they were, and still are, a very good band—but I think in my opinion the 90s were the decade where they really stood out from the crowd as trailblazers in the rock scene.

With that out of the way, it’s time to single out my absolute favorite song on the album to talk about: An eight minute long track titled “Sir Psycho Sexy.” With a title like that and an impressive length to match, you know you’re in for something bonkers, and I’d say the song delivers in spades; it’s a funky rap rock epic that is hornier than almost any song before or since. The rizz the titular Sir Psycho Sexy of the song displays is beyond that of any mortal man, and it is simply glorious. This song is also a song that inspired one of my Ocs—Flynn Dangerfield from the Rhine City series my wife and I are working on. If you’re unfamiliar with the character (and you shouldn’t be, the rough drafts for the story are pinned at the top of my blog), this is like if Alex Hirsch said Dipper and Mable were actually inspired by Flowers in the Attic.

If you don’t believe me, then read on as I riff on one of my favorite songs and showcase the brilliant lyrical insanity of a 90s rock band that was likely high as a kite while writing this. Also, this is your warning: These lyrics are insanely NSFW. This isn’t nearly as bad as the last song I riffed on, “Pregnant Pussy,” but it’s up there. You’ve been warned.

So this song is sort of a story, and every story has a main character. And what a character we have here; Sir Psycho Sexy is his name, and getting pussy is his game. How does one introduce such a man?

A long, long, long, long time ago Before the wind, before the snow Lived a man, lived a man I know Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Not a bad way to start things. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis really sets up Sir Psycho as some ancient, powerful force of nature, a being who has existed as long as there were babes to fuck and who is so eternal he was there before wind or snow. Mind you, this is before we get into all of his insane sexual feats and astounding prowess with the ladies, so we have the coolest guy in the universe right here. Let’s see what else there is to say about him:

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me Sometimes I find I need to scream

Oh. Ok then. So Anthony Kiedis is Sir Psycho Sexy. This is either self-insert Mary Sue fanfiction, or it’s an autobiographical tale describing things that actually happened. Let’s be super duper charitable and call it the latter. At any rate, the fact he just likes to scream sometimes is universally relatable.

Still, you may not be convinced how good the song is from this opener, as it can come off as blatant wish fulfillment fantasy. Thankfully, the second verse opens with the greatest lyrics ever written by a human hand:

Deep inside the garden of Eden Standing there with my hard on bleedin' There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen Good God no that would be treason

This is absolutely blasphemous, disgusting, degenerate, explicit, and one of the funniest fucking set of lyrics to ever be in a song. “There’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen” is not a phrase you hear every day, and it certainly won’t leave your head after you hear it. And don’t worry; things only get better from here!

Believe me Eve she gave good reason Booty looking too good not to be squeezin' Creamy beaver hotter than a fever I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver I won't and I don't hang up until I please her Makin' her feel like an over achiever I take it away for a minute just to tease her Then I give it back a little bit deeper

So I don’t know what could be expected, but Sir Psycho plowing the Biblical Eve is probably not the sort of thing you could imagine when first popping in to listen to this song. When you take into account his ancient nature from the first verse and the fact he’s got his boner dripping blood in Eden in the first few lines of verse two, this is really the only logical next step though. The real question here is, is Sir Psycho supposed to be Adam, or has Sir Psycho tied up Adam to watch as he busts in Eve more times than should be humanly possible? If he’s “Makin’ her feel like an over achiever,” I’ve gotta imagine he’s not stopping after round one, two, or even three. I do like the detail that Sir Psycho won’t give up until he pleases her; it’s very cool and considerate that he cares enough about his lover to ensure her satisfaction too.

I got stopped by a lady cop In my automobile She said get out and spead your legs And then she tried to cop a feel

Verse three begins with an extremely sad case of police brutality and sexual assault. Poor Sir Psycho was just driving along, minding his own business, when he’s pulled over for no crime whatsoever; the cop just wanted to fondle him. These lyrics really say a lot about our society, and the state of the police force in America when even gorgeous immortal studs aren’t safe from the pigs.

That cop she was all dressed in blue Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you She stuck my butt with her big black stick I said, "What's up?" now suck my dick

Some interesting tidbits of information here: Sir Psycho enjoys being pegged, and he has a death wish. What kind of absolute madman says that to a cop that has them at his mercy? Does he really think he can turn the tab--

Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand On her crotch so very warm I could feel her getting wet through her uniform Proppin' her up on the black and white Unzipped and slipped, "Ooh, that's tight" I swatted her like no swat team can Turned a cherry pie right into jam

Are we sure this man is Anthony Kiedis and not British Prime Minister David Cameron? Cuz he sure does like fucking pigs! Sir Psycho, with his ancient pornomancy powers, takes “fuck the police” to a whole new level, completely turning around whatever situation he’d gotten himself into.

And now we get a shift in the instrumentation, and the lyrics kind of mellow out and almost feel a little romantic(at least in a 90s funk rock way):

Hello young woman that I love Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of Hold me naked if you will In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you I love you Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Descending waves of graceful pleasure For your love there is no measure Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

This part genuinely feels so tender and, while it is extremely horny, Sir Psycho seems especially reverent of this woman, this amazing “punk rock mama.” I kind of think this segment pulls the entire song together, giving us a brief respite from the more overt sexuality and into something that genuinely sounds sweet, albeit in a decidedly horny sort of way.

Of course, we soon get back to Sir Psycho’s usual escapades in the final verse:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the funk will make me freak If I should die before I waked Allow me Lord to rock out naked

And after this, we get kinky before wrapping up this song and heading to an extended instrumental outro:

Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip Calling up a little girl with a bull whip Lickety split go snap, snap Girl gettin' off all in my lap The tallest tree the sweetest sap Blowin' my ass right off the map Ooh and it's nice out here I think I'll stay for a while

So full disclosure, this really, genuinely is one of my favorite songs of all time, and perhaps my favorite RHCP song. It’s so audacious, in-your-face, and unabashedly horny, and in a day and age when people seem hellbent on removing sex from art, it’s nice to go back to a simpler, sluttier time and jam out. Is the length a bit excessive? Sure, probably, but length like this is all Sir Psycho is capable of.

The song is honestly not too dissimilar from the last song I reviewed, “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK… at least in terms of audacity. Where that song was trying to be as disgusting and depraved as possible to get a reaction from the listener, essentially being the nastiest troll song you’ll ever here, this song is just very upfront with its sheer horniness. It only barely eases you in, with the opening leading right into blasphemous boasting and dick blood, and it just never stops. It slows down a bit in a couple parts, but overall it really is just an unrelenting force. The song’s length isn’t something you ever really feel, because it just goes from one dirty lyric to the next.

But I think the most important thing the song does is remind us we all have a little Sir Psycho Sexy inside us, and we all have been standing the garden of Eden with our hard on’s bleeding while there were devils in our dick and demons in our semen. Maybe the real dick devils were the friends we made along the way.

[celestiall0tus]

Tales of Bloody Bug and Chat Noir - Chapter 24 - Troublemaker

Beginning || Previous || Next

            Chat Noir sat on the couch in the news studio. He watched Gallic Chick, Porcelet, and Carapace as they modeled with Jagged Stone for the cameras. He had taken a few, but Penny Rolling, Jagged’s assistant, and Bob Roth wanted him posing with Bloody Bug. However, Bloody Bug hadn’t made an appearance to any of these shoots or interviews. He did what he could to keep them at bay, but Penny and Bob were pushing him to get Bloody Bug in.

            Chat Noir sighed as he turned away and stared at the wall. Nearly two weeks had passed since Chloe’s party. Two weeks since Bloody Bug slipped into this funk. He didn’t like seeing her like this. He didn’t like her being distant, withdrawn, and quiet. He missed the loud punk always ready to rise to any challenge. He made attempts to pull her out of it, but nothing seemed to work. He had other ideas, but he also didn’t want to push.

            “Excuse me, Chat Noir? May I have a word?” Penny asked.

            “I guess. What’s up?”

            “Have you, by chance, heard from Bloody Bug?”

            “Nothing has changed. She’s still not in the mood to be in front of cameras.”

            “Oh. Well, could you try again? We really need to get these new promotional ads ready by the end of the week. We are grateful for you and the other heroes, but it just won’t be the same if we don’t have at least one ad of you and Bloody Bug.”

            Chat Noir sighed. He pulled out his staff and messaged Bloody Bug again. “There. I asked her again to meet us here for a single photo.”

            “I dunno. I think we should leave Bloody Bug alone,” Porcelet remarked.

            “I agree. She’s not going to show up, don’t make her,” Gallic Chick added.

            “Absolutely not. This whole thing is for her and the cat. And, let’s face it, she’s way more popular than all you,” Bob yelled.

            “She’s only popular because she does the things that gets attention like wrestling a dragon,” Gallic Chick countered.

            “I mean, that was pretty cool. And she did slow Jagged, I mean, Guitar Villain,” Carapace commented.

            “I’m not saying it wasn’t cool, but it’s that stuff that gets her attention.”

            “Maybe, but it doesn’t seem like she tries. She’s just… lost,” Carapace remarked.

            “Lost? What do you mean?” Gallic Chick asked.

            “How do I explain it? When I looked into her eyes during that dragon fight, there was a storm. She wasn’t even hiding it either. Whatever she’s going through, she’s letting it build and build. I bet when it surfaces, all hell will break loose.”

            Chat Noir pinned one ear back while the other remained straight. His eyes darted back and forth as he recalled all the times Alix had let everything out about how she felt and her opinions of others when she was angry. He slowly straightened his other ear as fear gnawed at him. Was she staying in her own head to let this anger build on purpose? Was she going to let it fester until it all came out at once?

            Chat Noir ran out of the studio, ignoring Penny’s cries. He left the News Station and ran through the city to Master Fu’s massage shop. He burst into Master Fu’s room, but only saw Master Fu drinking tea.

            “Chat Noir? Is something wrong?” Master Fu asked.

            “Has Bloody Bug been here at all?”

            “She was here about an hour ago, but she’s long gone.”

            “How was she? Is she ok?”

            “She was brooding, as has been her norm for the past couple of weeks.”

            “Norm? What do you mean?”

            “Oh, she swings by at least once a day, mopes, drinks tea, and then leaves.”

            “Does she ever say anything?”

            Master Fu shook his head.

            Chat Noir grimaced. He turned to leave when Master Fu held up a hand, stopping him.

            “Before you go, I have something to discuss with you.”

            “Am I in trouble?”

            “Far from. It is your turn to take the next step and once again stand on equal footing with Bloody Bug.”

            Chat Noir’s eyes widened. He sat at the table while Master Fu grabbed an elixir and sat it down. He grabbed it and downed the contents without a moment’s delay. He felt a rush of warmth as his body tingled. He shook himself off as Master Fu placed the miracle box before him.

            “Just as with Bloody Bug, you are allowed one other miraculous to use for unification. And, just like her, when you feel you trust someone with it, you may pass it along.”

            “Uh, I had a question about that. If we pass it along, would we be allowed to get a different miraculous to unify with?”

            “You may.”

            Chat Noir squirmed with delight. He looked over the jewels. His eyes landed on a black choker with a single red bead.

            “What’s that one?” Chat Noir asked.

            “That one belongs to the dragon of perfection. With it, you take on the form of utter obliteration, destroying and unraveling everything around you. It’s one you must use with caution, as with all of them.”

            Chat Noir flinched. “That seems… really dangerous.”

            “Such is your concept, Chat Noir. You are destruction. That fused with anything will be an undoing.”

            “Uh, are there any of these that won’t result in an apocalypse type situation if I were to unify it?”

            “Well, there’s the bee that allows you to cancel motion. The ox, that is with Bloody Bug, that can weaken targets. The fox that can project illusions of pain onto targets. The snake that cause the target to forever forget what their goal was, robbing them of a second chance. The monkey that allows you to destabilize anything. The horse that allows for you to generate a black hole like portal that, should anything enter it, will be lost forever.”

            “Uh, could I maybe make a quick call to Bug?”

            Master Fu nodded.

            Chat Noir de-transformed and stepped out of the room. He took a deep breath and dialed Alix. It rang a few times before she answered.

            “What?”

            “Hey, do you think you could come over to-?”

            “I’m not heading over to the News Station.”

            “No, not there. I’m at Master’s shop. I just took the elixir and can get a second kwami like you, but… I need help choosing. Will you help me?”

            A long pause. “Yeah. I’ll be there soon.”

            Adrien smiled and hung up the phone. He transformed back into Chat Noir and rejoined Master Fu. They sat in silence until Bloody Bug arrived and sat with them.

            “Alright, what are the choices we’re thinking?” Bloody Bug asked.

            Chat Noir repeated the opinions that Master Fu told him. Bloody Bug inhaled deeply, then exhaled.

            “That’s quite the, uh, tough decision. Well, what are you thinking, Cat?”

            “I was maybe hoping to get Stompp. The other powers are incredible, but terrifying. With Stompp, it’s not as destructive and can still be helpful to our cause. That is if you’re ok with giving it to me until we pass it along to Ivan,” Chat Noir explained. 

            “And you would be allowed a new second miraculous,” Master Fu added.

            “Well, what say you, Stompp?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “Sure. It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with Plagg. Besides, I’ll still get to see you, so it’s not good-bye forever,” Stompp said.

            “And if we need to, we can swap around our second miraculous should the situation call for it,” Chat Noir added.

            Bloody Bug nodded. “Alright, but I get to pick this new one then.”

            “I think that’s fair. Master?”

            Master Fu nodded.

            Bloody Bug took off Stompp’s nose ring, handed it to Chat Noir, and looked at the box. She looked over the jewels before she grabbed a pair of goat horn hair clips. She put them on as they transformed into a pair of normal black hair clips and an orb shot out that morphed into a goat kwami.

            “Greetings! Ziggy at your service.”

            “Pleasure, Ziggy. I’m Bloody Bug.”

            “Oh! Are we doing unification? I love unifications!”

            “That we are, and you’re with me.”

            Ziggy cheered and flew around Bloody Bug before settling on her shoulder.

            “Alright, if that’s all, I’m going to-,’ Bloody Bug started.

            “Hold up, Bug. I… I wanted to talk to you for a moment. If that’s ok?” Chat Noir called out.

            “What’s up?”

            “You’re not purposely bottling everything just to let it all out like you have on others, are you?”

            “No. I just… it’s stupid.”

            “I’m listening.”

            Bloody Bug sighed. “I don’t want to talk because talking helps me run.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “I’ve done nothing but talk to people. Dad, therapists, you, Wang Fu, but nothing is helping me. There’s still this… root pain I’m avoiding. And when I talk, I feel further away from it. And I know it’s the cause of everything. I won’t be better until I confront it. I won’t lie. I do feel miserable. I feel ready to explode at every turn, but I’m close to it. I’m closer than I’ve ever been. I just need a little more time. And whatever comes of it, I’ll accept the consequences of my actions.”

            “Then I’m here. I don’t like it, and seeing you like this scares me, but I’m here to support you,” Chat Noir declared.

            “I can second that. Not everyone processes their trauma the same. Not all methods work the same on everyone. If you believe that this will help you confront it, we’ll be here to help you. Even if it fails, we’ll help you figure out a way to get to this root cause,” Master Fu added.

            Bloody Bug blinked as a smile slowly spread on her lips and a tear fell from her eye. “Thank you. Both of you. I… I was worried you might leave me if… yeah.”

            Chat Noir and Master Fu exchanged glances.

            “Oh! Before I forget, I do have one tiny favor to ask you, Bug,” Chat Noir said.

            “What’s that?”

            “I know you don’t want to, but could you maybe make a single appearance at a photoshoot to have a picture or two taken with Jagged for the promotional ads?”

            Master Fu furrowed his brow. “I don’t approve of you all doing this.”

            “I know, but it wasn’t my idea. It was Gallic Chick’s to avoid another Akuma since the concert and tour for us being canceled was the cause of it. That and I don’t think we would have gotten through to Bob Roth through any other means than money.”

            Master Fu groaned. “Very well, but I still don’t approve.”

            “Understood. So, Bug, would you?”

            Bloody Bug sighed. “I really don’t want to.”

            “I know. I just ask for a picture or two for the ads. No interviews, no anything except the couple of photos.”

            “Alright, fine. Let’s go.”

            Bloody Bug and Chat Noir left and headed to the News Station. They made their way to the studio room to find it had fallen into chaos. They watched with raised brows as everything was thrown around by an invisible force. Porcelet and Gallic Chick attempted to find the source while Carapace protected the civilians.

            “Did you know about this?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “Not a clue.”

            “Lovely. Alright, let’s bring this madness to an end. Hey! What the hell is going on here?” Bloody Bug demanded.

            “Bloody Bug, save us! We’re being attacked by a phantom!” Jagged Stone whined.

            “Of course. Gallic Chick, have you used your powers yet?”

            “Not yet, but I’m about to!” Gallic Chick roared.

            “Use them like you did against Darkblade.”

            “Wait, seriously? You’d be ok with that? I thought-.”

            “End this.”

            Gallic Chick nodded. She used Sublimation to obtain the power of obedience. “Villain, obey my command! Reveal yourself!”

            Troublemaker appeared behind Bloody Bug and Chat Noir. Gallic Chick opened her mouth to utter another command when Bloody Bug turned and decked Troublemaker in the jaw. Troublemaker yelped as she flew back into a wall.

            “Get the fuck away from you, punk ass clown reject,” Bloody Bug hissed.

            “Villain, break your Akuma now,” Gallic Chick commanded.

            Troublemaker took her pen and snapped it in half. The Akuma flew from it and Bloody Bug caught it, purifying it. Troublemaker fell to her knees as she reverted to Penny.

            “What’s going on? What happened?” Penny asked.

            “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just get this over with,” Bloody Bug remarked.

            Penny’s eyes darted around before she grinned. “Let’s go everyone! Places. Let’s get the centerpiece of the ad campaign. Let’s move!”

            Carapace dropped his shield as the photographers took their places. Jagged Stone ran to his as Bloody Bug and Chat Noir joined him. Porcelet cheered Bloody Bug on from the sidelines as she posed with Jagged Stone and Chat Noir. Bloody Bug let out a sigh when the photos were taken. She headed out when Penny stepped in her way.

            “Uh, Bloody Bug? Could we possibly get a few more photos with you?”

            “No.”

            “Please. Uh, just one with you and your team, then one with you and Chat Noir. Please.”

            Bloody Bug curled her lips back and sighed. “Fine. Make it quick.”

            Bloody Bug stood with Chat Noir and Porcelet. They waited for Carapace and Gallic Chick when they rejoined them after feeding their kwamis. They took a couple photos before they were shooed to the side for Bloody Bug and Chat Noir. The photographers argued over what to do when Chat Noir stood opposite Bloody Bug and held out his fist.

            “What are you doing?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “A fist bump. I think it would look cool. Don’t you?”

            Bloody Bug snorted and rolled her eyes, but indulged Chat Noir. She struck a pose and fist bumped. The photographers gasped and took photos of them. Chat Noir smiled, took Bloody Bug’s hand, and pulled her down to the ground. He pressed his back against hers and smiled. She smiled softly as she pressed back against him and relaxed. She held out her hand and he took it as his tail wrapped around her.

            “Thank you, Cat.”

            “Anything for you, Bug. We’re in this together.”

            “Until the bitter end and beyond. You’re stuck with me now.”

            Chat Noir chuckled. “There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with than you, Bug.”

            “You may come to regret that.”

            “I could never. I found something amazing in you and I’ll never let it go. I love you, Bloody Bug. I’m here to stay, no matter what you say or do. I’m here.”

            Bloody Bug’s eyes widened, then her face softened. “I love you too, Cat, and I’ll make sure you never forget this moment. You know, in case you ever do leave me forever.”

            Chat Noir flashed a cheeky smile. “Then you have my purr-mission to hate me for the rest of your days, just like another feline we know.”

            Bloody Bug rolled her eyes and nudged Chat Noir. “Alright, Cat, I think I’ve had my fill of feeling good again. I’m gonna leave before I lose my focus.”

            “Ok. Don’t forget, I’m never far if you need me.”

            Bloody Bug smiled and headed out.

            Chat Noir smiled until he looked around and saw everyone staring at him. “What? Did something happen?”

            “That was beautiful. Your friendship is beautiful,” Porcelet cried.

            “Oh, come on, that wasn’t friendship, Porcelet. That was love, dude,” Carapace countered.

            “Well, duh, they’re in love as friends, Gallic Chick butted in.

            Chat Noir tilted his head as the team devolved into a heated discussion. He glanced over at the adults, who were locked in their own debates. He grimaced and slipped out of the studio. He didn’t want to stay and entertain the notion he and Bloody Bug were a couple. She was his best friend, his sister, and nothing would change that.

Patreon || Discord || Ko-Fi

[demonsteapot]

What type of music do you like / have you been jamming to recently? Any recommendations?

(my internet died halfway through this so i nearly had to rewrite it)

you caught me at a bad time i was schmooving to a sewerslvt playlist yesterday ;-;

okay to be serious for a moment. uh. i don't think i have super good or interesting (or normal) tastes in music? i can point you to some of the things i think are cool and good, and i can also point you to things that i listen to for mood.

ive also probably mentioned some of these before (probably all of them?) so sorry if there's repeats

(okay this ended up being longer than expected so cut vv)

good (mostly not depressing stuff?):

Bill Wurtz – weirdly dreamlike jazzy stuff (?) i recommend 'At the Corner Store' and then i recommend you listen to all his other stuff

Ujico*/Snail's House: ive probably ranted about this guy before; 'Cosmo Funk' is probably your entry level snails house song. sweet adorable future bass, my go to for free serotonin

Heaven Pierce Her – Ultrakill: Violence, the game's newest EP. generally melancholic but really sick especially in context. 'War Without Reason' is probably my new favourite track in the whole game? (you can tell i like amen breaks lol)

also ofc i have to mention john / TOOBOE!! shout out to @donutinsideofashark for introducing me to this guy. some recs: 'Tablet', 'Roman', and 'Appare kanpai' – stuff goes hard and makes me wish i knew jp so i could actually remember lyrics

mood (depressing and/or weirder stuff):

vivivivivi's Dead but Dreaming: concept album about a dead god, mostly chiptune instrumental stuff until the second-last track – personally I LOVE this album, but as someone said, it probably sucks unless you have autism (disclaimer: i'm not diagnosed autistic, this is a reference to the pinned comment). this particular album influences a lot of my works to be honest

two more vivivivivi beepbox albums, ones that are a little more lively: Sisyphus and Silly Little Songs from my Silly Little Head. probably not to the tastes of sane and normal people but i like the beeps and boops :)

sewerslvt: breakbeat stuff from a dark place. people seem to not like sewerslvt fans which is why i'm reluctant to talk about this one but whatever. idk what you'd call their genre (i've heard it described as ambient jungle, trance, something or other dnb, but most importantly NOT breakcore. call sewerslvt breakcore and you are signing up for a hell of a flamewar) listen if you like amen breaks and hate yourself (i hope not…) idk what to even recommend here… i stumbled across her first with Drowning In The Sewer years ago. i've been getting back into their stuff recently, which is probably not a good sign for my mental health… currently listening to 'was it weird that i listened to im god by clams casino's when i lost my virginity' which is a hell of a title

Heaven Pierce Her again – The Enigma of Heaven and Other Daily Delusions: weird album about religion and the internet. since this is hakita again there are amen breaks. good if ur fuckin WEIRD. i recommend most of HPH's work

i've also been listening to an ultrakill fan artist called Marzuku, who does – guess what – more amen break stuff. i don't know man, but 'At Ends' is pretty good

shit fuck of course the jvne section ends up being a whole paragraph just to say don't listen to their stuff.

THAT'S IT IT'S TIME TO WRAP THIS UP THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. damn this got long. this is what happens when you ask me about my interests LMFAO

[magic-lee-me]

Writer's Block

~While I've written t-word fics for myself, this is my first t-word fic on Tumblr. It's just a fun exercise for writing... although it was hard for me to get through lol I usually get so flustered that I end up not finishing them.

I'm not too worried about making this perfect. I just wanted to get something out to share that I made :) Hope you enjoy!!~

A and B walk into the kitchen as I bang my head on the countertop. "You're still stuck on that chapter?" B asks before grabbing a box of raspberries from the fridge.

“I. Can't. Think. Of. Anything." I fight the urge to smash my face on the keyboard.

"You'll get through it easy peasy, lemon squeezy," A says before grabbing a plate of pork belly. The two of them make their way to the fluffy couch in the living room.

I wish I could watch the movie with them instead... How hard is it to add foreshadowing to the stupid chapter?

"Okay," I mutter to myself. I reread the last couple of paragraphs to refresh my mind. So the main character has to say something stupid so the supporting characters can kick off the plot. Alright. I can do this.

Tap.

I delete the letter. I tap a couple more keys, but I frown and smash the backspace button. After a few minutes of blank staring, I manage to complete a few sentences.

Which all suck.

Growling, I slam the laptop shut and bury my face in my arms on top. "I'm the worst writer in the world."

B sighs. "Take a break already. You've been at that same piece for over a week."

"Sure, why don't I just give up on this already? I'm already a failure."

"No, you're not!" A says.

"Don't make me laugh."

I wallow in the silence until B finally speaks up, "Maybe the two of us could help you with your funk."

"What, are you both miracle workers for writer's - hey!" Someone wraps their arms around my torso from behind and pulls me off the bar stool. I nearly knock it over flailing my legs around until B snatches them.

"Got 'em!" B cheers.

"To the living room!" A says.

As much as I try to glare at them, my mouth stretches into a smile at the silliness. They maneuver their way into the living room, setting me down on the carpet. "Whew, thanks - wait." My pulse quickens when A pulls my arms over my head and pins them to the floor with their knees. My eyes widen when B yanks off my shoes and sits on my shins.

I tug at my arms, but my hoodie inches up my belly. I wiggle my feet, but my socks start bunching around my heels.

They have me trapped. Too well. "W...What's going on?"

"You've been in that writer's funk for too long," B says, leaning closer and smirking.

"So, we decided to help you," A adds, booping my nose.

I gulp. "What...what exactly are you gonna do?"

"That's the best part." B's smirk turns devilish. "You're going to narrate a story of what we do to you."

"And we have the perfect prompt for you." A flutters their fingers against my ears.

"Hey!" I squeak, scrunching my shoulders.

"Consider that a prologue."

Oh.

Oh. Crap.

"And you keep going," B continues, "until the very. End. Of the story."

Already, I'm laughing from nerves. "Uh, hehe, we really don't have to do this, right?"

"And have you thinking you're a failure?" B taps their fingers on the carpet, dangerously close to my exposed sides. I shudder and giggle. "Not a chance, buddy."

"Aw, you're already laughing," A coos. "And we haven't even done anything yet."

I curl my toes. "Come on! That's not fair! It's not my fault I thought B was gonna dig into my sides and - EEEHEEHEEhahaha!" I wiggle under the rapidly poking fingers. Ugh, I can't block the attacks!

"You mean like this?" B asks in a cruelly innocent voice.

"Yes! YEHEHES! Hahaha stop!" The tingles remain even after B's hands pull away, leaving me gasping.

B grins mischievously. "You're already out of breath after that? However are you going to get through this story?"

All I can do is whine.

"So..." A bends down and boops my nose. "What's my turn like?"

I already giggle at the thought. "Do I have to tell?"

"Well, you're supposed to show." A smirks wickedly. "But we can do that for you."

I gulp. "Well...you can start with...my ribs." I flinch when A's fingertips lightly spider up and down my rib cage.

"I start here, do I?" A's voice lilts in my ear. "So that means I can go...here?"

Laughter bursts out as the spidering gets faster and goes across my bare belly! "Nohoho NOOHOOHOHOOHAHAHA!"

"But that's what you told us," B said, "so A is showing you how it goes."

"Hahaha switch, swihihihitch!"

A stops, but B traces my kneecaps. I can't kick B off, despite how much I'm wriggling. "That's not - eek! - what I meheheheant."

"You said to switch, yes?"

Ugh, if I could just swipe that smirk off B's face... "I didn't mehean trahahacihihing!"

"Why didn't you say so?" B's fingertips trail over my knee and squeeze the top. After a few pinches, they trace down my knees and squeeze under!

I yelp, then melt into giggles.

"Aww, look how blushy you are," B says.

A grins. "The two methods are working!"

"I just - hahaha - wanted one kihihind! Not two! Hahaha!" I can't shake B off my legs.

"Hey, I'm just showing you. You're the one telling." Extra pinches. "Not my fault if you leave out certain details."

"Sh...Shaddup!"

The two of them gasp. B pulls their hands away, letting me gather my senses. "Did you just tell me to shut up?" they say in a melodramatic tone.

"How rude!" A pouts, placing a hand on their chest. "We're only trying to help our little friend with their funk."

"Just for that..."

I don't like their smug faces. I don't...

"PLOT TWIST!"

I shriek when A digs into my sides and B flutters at my heels. "The characters take over the story and attack the author!"

"H-Hey, wahahait!" I'm utterly stuck. I can't even wriggle side-to-side to escape the rib counting! "Nohohoho! Hehehelp!"

"Sorry, buddy," A says, plunging into my pits. "But we need to make sure you have plenty of inspiration for writing." The hoodie fabric does nothing to keep my sensitive spots safe.

"I do! I dohohoho! Hahahaha!"

I gasp as cold air hits my soles. B tugs off the rest of my socks before lightly scratching at my toes. "EEEP! Hahahaha nohoho!"

"This is what you get for telling me to shut up." B grins down at me.

My cheeks hurt from smiling. "Okay okahahahahay! I'm sohohorry heeheehee!"

"Are you though?"

I can't talk anymore. I'm laughing too much.

Finally, they stop. I cough as I catch my breath. "You two...are...the worst."

"But you had fun, right?" B's hands are still on my toes as a silent threat. "And you got some inspiration to finish that stupid chapter."

I nod.

"There we go!" A says with one more poke to my belly. "Now you won't feel like a failure."

"Can...can I get...water?"

A and B help me sit up and guide me to the couch to rest. B pours me a cup of water as A lets me lay against their shoulder. "Once you get a hold of yourself," they said, "you can get back to writing."

"Just remember," B adds. "If you ever get into another funk, we're gonna have to do this all over again."

I instinctively flinch and bury my face in my hands. But...maybe this method of dealing with writer's block isn't so bad.

[the-sage-libriomancer]

Was randomly in the mood to read a Tadashi Lives/Hiro Dies au for BH6, but then I remembered that I was never able to find a good one bc all of the fics were just boring remixes or even outright retellings of the movie's plot with Tadashi in Hiro's role. So since I'm in the mood for outlining and also super bored here's my vision of what a good "Hiro dies instead of Tadashi AU" would look like:

(this is split into acts bc apparently Tumblr has a character limit and this got unspeakably long lol)

Act One

A little before the fire starts, Hiro runs back into the school for whatever reason and is in the building when it explodes. Obviously he doesn't make it and of course Tadashi is completely devastated.

Most fics I read showed Tadashi falling into a depressive funk the way Hiro did in canon. I actually think he would react the opposite way: Hiro was so brilliant that he lost motivation easily bc it was so hard to seriously challenge himself, but Tadashi strikes me as the sort of person who needs to Do Something when things go to shit. So in this AU he becomes a workaholic, working on a brand new project that requires a LOT of time and effort.

Tadashi's new project is an "emergency bot" (aka EB-1) that is basically a more proactive version of Baymax centered around search and rescue. EB-1 will be capable of saving people from car accidents, natural disasters, and yes, fires. Tadashi is obsessed with completing it and forgoes everything else.

Unfortunately Baymax is pushed to the wayside by Tadashi, as just looking at him brings up memories of Hiro that are currently painful. A small running gag is that Baymax keeps inflating when he senses Tadashi being self-destructive (ie every ten minutes) and Tadashi keeps shutting him down, until finally Tadashi brings him back to Cass's place and leaves him there.

Tadashi's friends are more heavily involved this time around since this is one of their best friends. They do everything in their power to make him take care of himself, but he's heavily resisting because he is Going Through It and refuses to relinquish his unhealthy coping mechanisms.

A couple of weeks after Hiro's death, Tadashi is snooping around town in search of a good place to field test the EB-1, and he happens upon the warehouse that's hosting Callighan's microbot making operation. Tadashi accidentally tips off Kabuki Man while getting some pictures and barely escapes Kabuki Man's clutches.

Furious that someone has apparently stolen his little brother's tech and is mass producing it, Tadashi gets his friends involved. They're initially skeptical even with the pictures (which are terrible quality lol), but Tadashi convinces them to come see the warehouse with him so he can prove himself. Since they get a jump start this time, they end up catching Kabuki Man red-handed as he's still moving the microbot-making equipment.

Obviously Kabuki Man chases Team Tadashi, and there's a brief chase scene. However, Tadashi came prepared: he brought EB-1 (hastily modified to have some fighting prowess) and unleashes it on Kabuki Man for its first "test run." EB-1 successfully fills all its initial parameters before Kabuki Man bails, which Tadashi is excited about - his invention works! His friends are considerably less excited about all this and vote to go somewhere to recuperate.

Safe at Fred's house (because we NEED that reveal), Tadashi and his friends put their heads together to figure out their options. One thing leads to another, and the five of them end up pinning Krei as a main suspect - not necessarily as Kabuki Man himself, but definitely as someone who might be involved.

One fic I read was such an unoriginal rehash that it literally repeated movie scenes verbatim with Tadashi speaking Hiro's lines (AU authors please don't do this) BUT the one place it did try to be original was by replacing Hiro's gadgets-making montage with Team Tadashi literally flying up to Krei's office on the top floor (using Baymax no less) and interrogating him, and I honestly can't think of a more ic way for the group to go about it. If you asked me "what would a bunch of tired and desperate STEM majors do when they need to talk to a rich businessman they can't contact" that would be it lmao.

Interrogating Krai goes about as well as you'd expect: he refuses to give them any information, but does make a compelling enough argument that Team Tadashi is forced to leave him alone. Tadashi still doesn't trust him but reluctantly rules him out as a Kabuki Man suspect. However, Krei accidentally drops a couple clues about Silent Sparrow that will become relevant later.

Team Tadashi dejectedly calls it quits, and the team tries to convince Tadashi to focus his energy elsewhere. But Tadashi isn't giving up just yet.

[ofallthingsnasty]

I’ve been thinking about getting into crochet! I’m trying to do more hands on hobbies as a way to get me from falling into a depression funk. I had a knitting “faze” when I was ten years old and I’m considering going back into it. However I suffer from the good old “if I’m immediately bad at something new then I don’t want to try it at all! 😤”

You totally should! I learned how to do basic crochet from my grandma when I was 11, then never picked it up again until recently(ish). Honestly, it got my through my fucky exam period last year. It's just so much fun and when I can listen to a podcast/watch YT/a show while doing it I immediately get into a very intense flow state. I'd recommend amigurumi when you're only starting out, actually! You don't need to learn much, just the magic ring (you can find easy ways to do that on YT, everyone likes to do theirs differently so no rec from me haha). Afterwards, it's just single crochets, increases and decreases and counting. Later on, simple sewing. Start out with a simple cotton yarn, acrylic can get rather stiff, don't start with bulky yarns like velvets etc - these really are for more experienced crocheters (but they're not that hard to work with. Just not for beginners.)... For stitch counting, you can use either a yarn scrap or safety pin. I'm in Europe and just got super cheap hooks from Action and well priced cotton yarn from Søstrene Grene (2,39 Euro for I think 50g of yarn? That's enough for two amigurumi main body colors, tbh). There are also entire kits catered to beginners, I can recommend those as well (if they have a hook included!) I personally found the learning curve on amigurumi extremely steep. I just needed two days to get started on my first one (first I just practiced a simple round body) and on my third amigurumi, they started looking right. Took me like... a week? It was fast and BAM just a few weeks later I was writing my own patterns and wrote patterns from simply watching other people crochet in a foreign language. Crochet is super fun and once you get started on the bulky yarns, you can create giant plushies from scratch!! Absolutely amazing. I'd say it's actually a good hobby for the 'I need it to be good asap' faction because you can make giant steps in a single day. Good luck!! If you want me to show you some patterns I did, tell me!!

[mcalhenwrites]

Hmm... I managed to get a little bit written today, but I'm struggling a bit with mental health and it's affecting my writing. xD;

I thought a walk would make me feel better, and it did while I was on the walk, for the most part. I lucked out that it turned out to be cloudier than expected while I was out. I got to see a mama duck with her babies and thought of Bee (my OC) and how happy that would've made him. (Also, the babies were not small! They were almost adults, all female and like smaller than mama by just a teensy bit! Too far for good photos, sadly.) But I came home and managed to edit and post ch 64 of Seasons, pushing through all reservations I have about sharing my work. (Again. Just when I think I've got this thing tackled, I'm like, "What if I just focus on finishing the story but I don't shame myself publicly with posting my works all the time?" lol why, brain, why???) I'll get better in a few days. It's just a funk. It's waiting out the funk and trying to distract myself in the meantime. Walk helped, then I tried video games but wanted to do some reading, then I thought I'd do some cleaning... and I got stuck debating on if I want to wait on packing up some of my favorite display stuff until I'm more certain about the date of this move? Anyway, I stripped my pegboard of all but the "big three" aka Xillia (guess my OT3), FFXV (okay, ignoct), and STRELITZIA (KH I guess)

Me: wow I love KH *has two SoRiKai charms, a Ven charm that shows his BBS armor on the other side, and the rest is all fucking KHUX related* (Thanks, Yume, for giving me about 70% of the Xillia charms I own <3 And thanks everyone who gifted me a lot of the other stuff over the years. I love it so much. This pegboard is a happy space for me!) I'm tempted to take down my crocheted button displays to wash them (they're so dusty) and they're also mainly Xillia, with some ignoct, and uh... various stuff, I only have one Strelitzia and Lauriam button and a Sora pin from KH.

I will say I got to see some really nice insects (warning for images below) on my walk? Haha, it was truly a Bee day ;) (Now I wanna draw him in a flower...)

Oh god, this just made me realize... Like... Vivian and Graham had these Seasonal kids, and those kids have tastes very in tune with their seasons and birth conditions. They really passed on the ability to really go all out with nursery decorations and shit like that. Like having flower-shaped blankets for baby Bee to crawl on, one in a pumpkin shape for Howie... a snowflake one for El... They had so many opportunities to just go "yeah it's like a holiday but for our children" and make those childhoods so much fun?! (And honestly, like holidays, childhoods end. It's better that way. Precious, passing memories, and none of this "trying to maintain this human nuclear family that doesn't let the kids express themselves" bullshit.) Anyhow. Yeah. I'm rambling. ^^

[robo-mox-motley]

[Video ID: Gorg, a tall blue mech, runs forward brandishing the blunt grip end of his tank gun. He lifts the whole long gun upwards by the barrel before striking down on the top of a tank. The original sound of the tank being hit is replaced with a coconut bonk stock sound. End ID.]

Always Gorgin' time at Mox(ter)'s

Mox(ter) reporting. Firm believer that Pink Lady apples are superior to Honeycrisp. These are some things you might want to know. Or not, your choice ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

Things that keep me up at night:

The camaraderie of the Autobots in Armada.

This loser

How some versions of Ironfist are supposed to sound Aussie. Try rereading Last Stand of the Wreckers like that.

Tokyo Ska dropping a new song.

Trying to make up transforming figures in my head that don't exist for certain characters and getting annoyed the next morning. Only thing stopping me is lack of access to a resin printer.

I am Mox/Moxter and have been a bot nerd since I was an anklebiter. Mostly gung-ho about other stuff like practical effects, costuming, figures/models, 3D modelling, old tech, lizards, and birding. I do art a little too, but I’m not too fond of the idea of putting it out on here quite yet.

Couple years of Spanish under my belt but also picking up and learning bits of Japanese and Welsh when I can. Considering others like Yoruba and Korean for in the future, but sadly I suck sometimes and can be a slow learner. Someday, I guess. I apologize beforehand if you see my dumb ass getting long-winded about Tailgate (full reason being too long to explain here).

I’m generally invested into anything related to toy design—mostly TakaraTomy, HasTak, and Sunrise bot stuff is my focus though. I am hooked on the design development surrounding Binaltech and Alternators for better or worse.

And wouldn't you know, a bunch of car robots helped me to realize what I should re-prioritize my career track to be. That's the power of my dumb interests at work ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧.

Got tired of updating which music artists I like at the moment, but I tend to stick to ELO, Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra, hip hop, rock, metal, J-punk, ska, funk, and EDM. Q-Tip and A Tribe Called Quest are great too. I don’t mind getting music recs.

Delighted owner to my little shit of a gecko. A lot of what I reblog is aesthetic posts, robotic nonsense, and other things. If you want to go ahead and block some of my tags, I’ve got a list of them linked in my pinned post. I try to put alt text in the majority of images I upload. May need a poke on that though once in a while because I can’t remember everything.

Sometimes there's 18+ content though that's once in a blue moon and it gets tagged. Block the tag if you need to. Also be normal about bi and pan people, or I'm conking you on the head.

Please do not ask me my pronouns. Like sorry, but I don’t know you. Just use my name and no they/them-ing me if we aren't all too familiar. That's all I ask.

Don’t be stupidly obnoxious around here; shit-stirrers get Gorg'd:

Things I like or have watched/read. Not exhaustive. Strong favorites are bolded.

Games

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

Destiny (Well, it was good up until every update following Witch Queen)

Fallout 1, NV, 4

Guilty Gear ΛC+, Strive

Halo

Lethal League Blaze

Mass Effect

Rhythm Heaven

Subnautica

Titanfall

Comic Stuff

Astro Boy

Atomic Robo

Dai Dark

Dorohedoro

Hellboy/BPRD

IDW Transformers

Kaiju No. 8

Shimanami Tasogare

Shows

Brave series: Might Gaine, J-Decker

Farscape

FMA 2003

Giant Gorg

Lupin the III

Kamen Rider: Ichigo, Gaim, Zero-One

Stargate

Transformers: G1, JG1, BW, JBW, Unicron Trilogy, Prime, RID 2015, Cyberverse, Earthspark

My MAL profile (I forget to update it though)

Blocked and still rooting through here?

I applaud your tenacity, but I don't get it. Have a little cheer in your life and go watch Iron Leaguer or Kamen Rider or Beast Wars or something.

Signing out.

[generalwildcat]

Queer Headcannons

Since discovering the story behind the epic gift that is Bet On It, my friend and i have been going back and forth with some queer HSM headcannons. Just a few, nothing intricate or anything like that.... 👀

Friend's Headcannons:

Troy should have been bi. His story is a really good metaphor for being in the closet. Especially as someone who felt pressure to do sports and be this popular masculine guy.

Imagine how funny it would be if Troy was giving Ryan way more attention than Sharpay and how annoyed she'd be, but then when she found out about them she'd be the biggest supporter.

It would make more sense for Sharpay to realize she had feelings for Gabriella all along. Taylor would probably figure out Gabriella is queer before Gabriella does so when Gabriella finally comes out Taylor would be all "well finally!"

Kelsi is the quiet ace in the corner who low key knows everything. She's too cool to be cishet.

Chad is the clueless cishet guy who's surprised to learn anyone is gay but is cool with it. AKA the token straight guy. BUT he could also be bicurious or is not typically attracted to men so when it happens it's really confusing for him.

Zeke doesn't care, he just uses peoples' coming outs as an excuse to bake more.

Darbus is the safe space and is the teacher who supervises the Gay Straight Alliance Club.

Mrs. Montez is the ally parent who wears pride buttons and pins to PTA meetings.

Coach Bolton is the person everyone is afraid to come out to and he doesn't totally get it but will end up giving a sappy speech about unconditional love.

Stick to the Status Quo is a whole coming out scene, which leads to gay interpretations of every other song.

Start of Something New is realizing you're queer.

Getcha Head in the Game is trying to ignore your queerness.

What I've Been Looking for is accepting that you're obviously queer.

Bop to the Top is gay activism and a joke about being a top.

Breaking Free is literally coming out.

My Headcannons:

If HSMTMTS is considered cannon and Troy and Gabriella really are in marriage counseling could that be because he was secretly bi this whole time?

OR, if the marriage counseling is cannon then what if Troy and Gabriella are still having issues and Troy's in a funk because Gabriella's all he knows and he desperately wants everything to work out? So he ends up going so far as to ask the Evanseses if they can use Lava Springs for an anniversary/vow renewal thing cause maybe that can help, which they do and for a while things seem pretty good. Meanwhile Gabriella has been getting closer to Sharpay through all this and texting and talking to her about stuff and feels comfortable confiding in her. Which maybe leads to something?

And if it does lead to something, imagine how Ryan feels about Sharpay not talking to him about questioning her sexuality especially when he kinda did that/was in denial for years.

Wait, what if Troy was actually the straight one the entire time and suddenly everyone comes out as queer and he has no idea what he missed? (My friend's response to this was Troy would be so clueless to a guy hitting on him, he'd just think they were good friends and his friend was being so supportive and thoughtful to him and it wouldn't be until someone said something that Troy realized his guy friend was hitting on him all along.)

Chad is bi and in a straight-presenting relationship with Taylor. What might've happened is that Chad and Taylor broke up at the end of HSM3 but remained friends through college, which was when Chad got close to another guy and confided in Ryan and eventually Taylor. They help him work through his feelings and realize he's bi. He tries dating the guy but the guy gets jealous of Chad's close relationship with Taylor which results in their breakup and eventually Chad and Taylor do get back together. Except Chad never tells anyone else because he realizes he gave Troy so much flack in high school for wanting to do music instead of basketball and not only does he not wanna go through that himself, but he also wants to do a better job at accepting people for who they are and he does.

Kelsi and Ryan remain good friends after high school and end up being each others' realizations/acceptance that they're both queer. Kelsi ends up becoming an honorary aunt to Ryan and his husband's future twins and, who knows, maybe she also ends up being their surrogate.

What Time Is It is getting a vacation from acting straight/straight-presenting and having the actual freedom to be queer.

All For One is the coming together of everyone queer in support of each other without worrying about TERFs or gatekeeping.

We were totally not coming up with an HSM AU where everyone and everything is gay and i absolutely did not start sharing my gay headcannons for their future kids that i'm always thinking about but never gonna actually write....