#pineapple in gif 9

[itsmyfriendisaac]

Pineapple Express

Juice

Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story

Dazed & Confused

9 to 5

Menace II Society

[victormcdicktor]

URGENT; Please Help Save Mohammad's Life!

Mohammad was born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome, for which he's needed special medical care for his entire life. During one of these surgeries, he suffered complications which took away his ability to walk. Since, he had been getting physical therapy at home in order to help him recover his mobility.

However, once the siege on Ghazzah began, everything changed. Mohammad and his family's home was bombed and they were displaced into horrible conditions. Mohammad is unable to continue his vital medical treatment.

On top of that, before October 2023 his family was already struggling to get him a tendon-lengthening surgery which he desperately needs; now, his ability to get treatment looks even bleaker.

In order for Mohammad and his mother to evacuate and get to Turkey where Mohammed can be treated, they need to raise €300,000. So far, they've only raised €80 and their last donation was 4 days ago.

Please help this family however you can. Donate if you can and share their campaign. Mohammad is only 9 years old and his lived his entire life in hardship due to his disease; he deserves to be able to have a normal childhood in a safe and healthy environment with his family. Please help him survive.

(Currently unvetted; very new and donation protected)

TAG LIST (DM me for removal)

@whisperingmedows @e @rykerpuppy @renmemberme @t0w0bey @teddycuba @yogurtcake2000 @uchorusa @imp-panada @irunkefir @insufferablepilled @ichor-arrows @passion2lovvers @awesomepeoplehangingouttogether @dirkcapitationn @fatalbloomsinmoon @nabulsi @90-ghost @el-shab-hussein @aria-ashryver @northgazaupdates2 @sar-soor @flower-tea-fairies @palestinegenocide @gazagfmboost @palestine-info-uncensored @heba-20 @aces-and-angels @fairycosmos @greenpinkstraw @ibtisams @radicalgraff @r4ms3yy @thestrugglerrr @shug888 @decolonize-the-everything @fototingobug @gaza-evacuation-funds @g3wgaw @greydrits @gainnecorpse @gasfuzbj @hamsterdads @himbo-noxx @heijegerkannibal @juliccardi @jvstcallmespade @kk3o2 @katylokk @keff-fr @literallyneurodivergentandaminor @lenaeeessshhh @la7ma-mafrooma @lutielutik @certified-dentist @cemetaryvampire @chemautopsy @cryptid-catnip @vetted-gaza-funds @vantisanjo @blu-berriez @neptunerings @neatleaf @meit1

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(sorry for the randomness of the tags, I just used what popped up. If anyone has advice on how to make a good taglist please tell me)

Thank you for reading! Please reblog! 🦎💛

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

The Surprise Masterlist

Find all chapters of The Surprise here. Updated as new chapters are released.

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: some chapters are 18+ MINORS DNI (they are marked as such), pregnancy times throughout, other warnings marked chapter by chapter Current total word count: 47k

The Surprise (Part 1)

The Lentil & The Blueberry (Part 2) (18+)

The Kidney Bean & The Grape (Part 3)

The Kumquat (Part 4)

The Fig & The Lime (Part 5)

The Peapod (Part 6)

The Lemon & The Apple (Part 7) (18+)

The Avocado & The Turnip (Part 8)

The Bell Pepper & The Big Tomato (Part 9)

The Banana (Part 10)

The Carrot (Part 11) (18+)

The Spaghetti Squash (Part 12)

The Mango (Part 13)

The Corn Cob (Part 14)

The Rutabaga (Part 15) (18+)

The Scallion (Part 16)

The Cauliflower (Part 17)

The Eggplant (Part 18)

The Butternut Squash (Part 19)

The Cabbage (Part 20) (18+)

The Coconut (Part 21)

The Jicama (Part 22)

The Pineapple (Part 23)

The Cantaloupe (Part 24)

The End (Part 25)

Extras (in Chronological Order)

Donuts

Going Home

Fan Art from Cool People!

Emily & Reader (@scorpsik)

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt4

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader , Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader

warnings: fingering

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

instagram

A faint cry is what had awoken me from my slumber. I sat up and rubbed my eyes before making my way to Yelena’s nursery to change and nurse her before burping and rocking her back to sleep.

I’d looked at the time as I rocked her back to sleep reading ‘5:53am’. There was no point in going back to sleep if I had to wake up at 6:30, so I decided that I was gonna go to the kitchen to start breakfast for my family.

On my way to the kitchen, I stopped in the living room grabbing the small bose speaker I had charging before continuing my journey to my big, beautiful kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed out enough food to make feed a village. Eggs, Munster Cheese, Turkey Bacon, Turkey Sausages, Greek Yogurt, Granola, Strawberries, Blueberries, Pineapples and Bananas.

I hear faint but heavy footsteps coming close to the kitchen while I mixed seasoning with the eggs before cooking them. I felt arms snake around my waist and a face being nuzzled in the crook of my neck before feeling faint kisses making their way up to my jaw.

“Good Morning beautiful, Did Yelena wake you up again?” I turn around to face my boyfriend before I rake my hand through his crazy bed hair.

“Yes Logan, Yelena did wake me up.” a smirk made its way on my lips as I saw a frown make its way on his.

“I thought I told you to wake me up when she did. You’ve been working too much and you need rest.” he said sincerely. I could never get over the look in his eyes, I could get lost in those greenish blue orbs forever.

“Babe, you think you’re not tired too?” a chuckle makes it way past my lips.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m tired. All that matters is I got her. I got her and I have you, and I’m determined to never let you go again” he said as he snuggled deeper into my body. A piercing sound is what pulled me away from him, it was getting louder and louder until.

“Good Morning sleepy head. Yelena woke up so I heated up some breast milk you have in the freezer and I rocked her back to sleep, we should have about another hour and a half before she wakes up again” Lando said as he walked into our shared bedroom, his feet heavy as they padded against the bedroom floor.

A smile peaks on my face “Thank you handsome. I love you so much, you’re too good to me” I said sleepily as I welcomed Lando back into the comfort of our king size bed.

it had been 4 months since I’ve given birth to Yelena and it had been the best 4 months of my life.

I mean I really did have it all, I had an amazing boyfriend, a wonderful daughter, whom had an amazing dad, I had gotten a job at McLaren as Lando’s food prep and nutrition manager which allowed me to travel with him and keep my daughter with us.

After I’ve gotten the job, one of the first people I told besides Lando, was Logan.

That moment we shared after I’d given birth to Yelena replays in my mind almost every morning and I can’t help but yearn for us to be a happy family together.

We all can’t have what our hearts yearn for though, can we? Not after what Logan did to me, the way he made me feel, how much I wanted to die with every moment I stayed with him, how ungrateful he was whenever I did something for him, the way he hurt me day after day, how he always told me I was crazy when I brought up him not loving me and how he tried to win me back after telling him I was pregnant again before leaving.

Logan was excited to hear that McLaren had offered me the job as Lando’s Food Prep and Nutrition manager seeing as that it would allow not only me to travel with them but Yelena could too. Logan wouldn’t have to resort to seeing her every 2 months or whenever his job could let him escape for a minute.

Traveling with Yelena would be a bit of a hassle but thank god that Lando’s current nutrition manager had 3 more months before his contract was up so that allowed me to mentally prepare myself for having to travel with a baby for work.

“What’re you thinking of?” Lando mumbles against my neck as he rubs his hand up and down my side before they landed on my waist and drawing imaginary circles.

“Us. How lucky I am to have you with me even when I was pregnant and how you stayed, even during the hard nights.” tears welled up in my eyes as I recall some night we had. “How whenever she was keeping me awake with the kicking how’d you stay up with me and rub my belly until she stopped, how you’d wake up whenever I had my weird cravings, because there were so many” I let out a sniffle as the tears that once threatened to fall came pouring down.

a sniffle leaves Lando’s nose “so many” he lets out a light chuckle “and you know what Y/N/N?”

“What?”

“Even though Yelena is not biologically mine, she’s the second best thing that’s happened to me. The Miami win is first, you’re third” a chuckle elapses past my lips as I playfully swat his arm “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. You’re number one, you always have been and you always will be. I wish to live in no world at which you are not in, I’d rather die than let you live without me beside you.”

I’d rather die than let you live without me beside you. If Lando knew about the same dream I’ve been having since that moment between me and Logan in the delivery room I don’t think he’d be saying this. I’ve made my feelings very clear to Logan that night I left our apartment and Lando knows, so why am I dreaming about him, about us being a happy family?

I want to confide in someone about these dreams but I don’t want them to go to Lando with it before I’m ready to tell him. What would Lando think if I did tell him? Would he leave me? Would there be a possible explanation on why I keep having these reoccurring dreams? Do I want to be with Logan? No. No, that one I’m very adamant on. I want nothing to do with Logan relationship wise. I mean he has been a great dad to Yelena but he’s not fit to be my boyfriend or husband, so co-parenting it is for us.

I mean I’m not complaining about that right? I’m the one that left him knowing I was pregnant, I’d be an ass if I showed up to a grand prix walking into the Williams garage being like “Surprise Logan, we have a daughter” you know, I wasn’t that stubborn enough to do that to him.

“We should go back to sleep but I have better plans” a smirk made its way on Lando’s face as he reaches for the covers to put it over our heads. His hand travels lower before they reached the waistband of my already soaked panties, his fingers moving the fabric to the side before moving them between my fold slicking them in my juices. I can feel Lando’s fingers ghosting my aching hole before a cry breaks my heavy breathing.

No, No, please go back to bed I thought “I’ve got her Y/N/N, just stay here and wait for me to come back.” Lando presses a kiss to my lips before he retreats to the nursery. The thought of my boyfriend taking on a dad role turning me on. I fully removed my panties and stuck two fingers in my aching cunt awaiting Lando’s return, before I could actually give myself some pleasure my phone buzzes on the nightstand.

A loud and frustrated sigh leaves my lips as I flip over and look at the caller ID “Logan ‘Merica Sargeant” a shaky breath escapes past my lips as I press answer

“we need to talk”

ENJOYYYYY (i have work)

Taglist

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999

[teriri-sayes]

TCF Modern AU Character Checklist (Official)

RIDI, one of the Korean publishers of TCF/LCF, recently released new ebook volumes for TCF. The volume set consisted of volumes 10-18, spanning chapters 201-398 of Part 1. And RIDI added a "Character Checklist" as the exclusive bonus content for buying the volume set.

What is this character checklist about? It's just a list of things that the characters are most likely to do or prefer. But it is set in a modern AU (alternate universe) setting.

Those who want to purchase official merchandise can head over to RIDI to buy the new ebooks. You can get a 10% discount and a 5000 won coupon if you participate in the event, so the cost for the new volume set will only be 24,160 won. But be aware that this is only in the Korean language. There is no official English ebook for TCF. 🥲

The new ebooks included new novel covers. For volumes 1 - 9, they changed the ebook cover to this:

And for volumes 10-18, the new ebook cover is this:

Because the character checklist is not publicly available for free, I will only post a quick summary of it.

***

Alberu 

likes to eat snacks while working

beautiful handwriting

celebrates others' birthdays grandly

frequent social media poster because of work

Beacrox 

makes tteok-galbi and gives it to Cale

2nd best at making snow ducks

Ron

makes travel plans because of the kids

good at claw machines

Bud 

world traveler who's good at driving any vehicle

frequent social media poster because he's an attention-seeker

Hilsman 

scared of bugs

Witira 

heavy drinker

troublemaker child because she couldn't control her strength

Eruhaben 

good singer of old songs but only does it upon the kids' request

picky appetite

doesn't use kiosks because he's not interested in learning anything new

On

great dancer

makes travel plans

knows the most about memes

Hong

makes travel plans

likes winter because of family get-togethers

frequent social media poster because he finds it exciting

good at drawing because everyone praised their drawings

posts memes

Raon

makes travel plans

prefers to play together than go on amusement park rides

likes winter because of family get-togethers

late sleeper because he always daydreams of going on trips with his family

good at drawing because everyone praised their drawings

Choi Han

stiff dancer

secretly prefers thrills in the amusement park

good at making snow ducks

student with low grades

Deruth

believes in fortune telling stuff but is in denial over it

Cale

somehow ends up as the leader in team projects

celebrates others' birthdays secretly

best fit as the leader of a K-pop boy group

buys lots of online books to read when he achieves slacker life

heavy reader

drinks hot Americano because Ron says cold drinks is bad for him

Mary

likes spicy food

likes horror movies

good at computers because Tasha taught her

Lock

first to apologize after getting into a fight

model student with good grades

Tasha

loves to eat meat

Archie

always grumbles on trips but shuts up when Cale stares at him

Toonka

bad at using machines and gadgets

Cage

prefers eating over studying

Rosalyn

drinks iced Americano in the morning

troublemaker child because she wanted to do lots of things

Jack

likes pineapple pizza

Hannah

likes mint chocolate and eats it together with Mary

***

Some trivia:

Mint chocolate in Korea is similar to pineapple pizza that people either heavily like or dislike.

Witira being a heavy drinker is a pun related to her race as a whale tribe. Sulgorae (술고래) is a figurative expression for a heavy drinker. It’s a combination of the words 술 (alcohol) and 고래 (whale). English has a similar expression to it - drink like a fish

Making snow ducks is a trend in Korea. They use plastic tongs with a duck mold to create snow ducks. Some treat is a game where you make dozens of it fast as if printing out items in a factory, and line it up in a row.

Tteok-galbi is grilled short rib patties. Hmm, delicious~! 😋

[svmjaeyvn]

·˚ ༘ ┊͙#JAEYUN WORKS┊͙ ༘˚ ·

all content written by me

smut: s, fluff: f, angst: a, ✩: series

— ✩ LOVE MAZE : ONGOING ( s, f )

fake dating, mutual friends, college au

an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

ch 1 — pineapple, ch 2 — intoxicating, ch 3 — contract

ch 4 — firsts, ch 5 — relationships, ch 6 — exs

ch 7 — pld, ch 8 — bets, ch 9 — jealousy

— ✩ SINCERELY YOURS : ONGOING ( f, a, s )

red string theory, idol!jake x fashion designer!reader

where they meet once on the subway but he never forgets her or the encounter no matter how much time has passed

[thetriumphantpanda]

The Way You Miss Me | Joel Miller (Chapter One)

Joel is your Daddy's best friend and work colleague. One evening, when your dad has to work late and you've been babysitting Sarah, tequila emboldens you to tell Joel what you've always wanted to tell him.

Pairing | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings | Smut, Oral (F Receiving), Protected PIV intercourse, age gap, nothing else I can think of but let me know if I've missed anything.

Word Count | 4.1K (I will not apologise)

Author's Note | So, back on my Joel Miller hype again. I've got plans to turn this into a multi-chaptered fic that spans the timeline of the show so if you liked this and want to read more let me know! Feel free to slide into my asks with feedback/love! Enjoy.

Read on AO3 here.

It was hot. Austin was having the hottest summer you could remember in years. You threw down the magazine you were attempting to read and stood up from the couch. There was no air in this damn house - you wondered how Sarah was sleeping upstairs. 

You checked the clock on the wall. 9:15pm. Joel was supposed to be home an hour ago. Not that you were complaining. The extra time spent babysitting Sarah meant more money Joel would hand over to you. You’d been babysitting for Joel since you finished your last semester at college. You were waiting to go back at the end of the summer to start your master’s programme and needed all the help you could get in boosting your savings. Your father had worked with Joel for years and when his last babysitter had left town, he’d offered you the opportunity which you were only too happy to take. 

Deciding to check on Sarah, you tiptoed up the stairs. You could hear soft snoring coming through the door. You silently cursed the teenager for her ability to sleep through the heat. You knew once your father picked you up it would be a sleepless night. Tossing and turning, sweating into the sheets. 

As you were walking back down the stairs you heard the telltale jangle of keys in the door and there he was. Joel Miller was quite possibly the most handsome man you’d ever laid your eyes on. Taller than you with broad shoulders and a face that you could only described as carved by the angels. Forget the fact he was 12 years your senior as well as one of your father’s closest friend, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want him. 

“Evenin’ Darlin’,” He spoke, dropping his keys on the entryway table, “How was Sarah?” 

“She’s fine, fast asleep upstairs,” You replied, reaching for your bag, “How she does it in this heat I’ll never know.” 

Joel chuckled as he pulled out his wallet, pulling out the wad of notes to hand over to you, “Sorry I’m late, the delivery was late this morning,” You gratefully accepted the money he handed over, folding into the back pocked of your shorts, “Your dad will be a bit later tonight, he had to stay on site but he’ll drop round and pick you up later.” 

You nodded and smiled at Joel, “No problem, do you mind if I sit outside and read?” 

“Be my guest, darlin,” Was his reply, “I’ll go and check on Sarah and come and join you, too damn hot to be cooped up in here.” 

Once he was bounding up the stairs two at a time, you reached into your backpack and picked up one of the books you needed to read for your upcoming course. You settled yourself in one of the chairs on Joel’s back porch, folding your legs up underneath you to get comfortable. You’d only read a few pages when the back door opened and Joel appeared with two glasses in hand, one filled with ice and an amber liquid you knew would be whiskey and the other which he handed to you.

“What is it?” You asked, folding the corner of your page to mark your place before taking the glass.

“Tequila and pineapple,” He replied, “I remembered it was what you liked from the cookout last month.” 

You smiled, sipping the ice-cold drink, “Very perceptive Mr Miller.” 

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, the only sound was the slight tinkling of ice against glass as you sipped your drinks. 

“How much longer do you have until you leave for school?” 

“About another month,” You spoke, “Although I decided against moving out from home, cheaper to stay living with my dad and it’s a master’s degree so I shouldn’t expect to have much of a social life anyway.” 

“You didn’t want to run away to another city again?” Joel pried, referencing the three years you’d spent in California getting your undergraduate degree. 

“Strangely no, the University of Texas has exactly the course I wanted, if I don’t have to move away then I won’t,” You shrugged, “Contrary to popular belief I like living at home with my dad,” you punctuated talking with a drink, “Sure he works long hours and at this point I spend more time with Sarah than I do with anyone else, but I like it here.” 

“So if you’re staying, you think you’d be able to carry on a few evenings a week with her?” Joel asked, “We’ve got a big job coming in September, she’ll be back at school so it’ll just be evenings, but she’s really taken to you darlin’.”  You smiled, “I’ve really taken to her as well Joel, she’s a lovely girl,” you took another sip of your drink, realizing it was going down far too easily, “Of course I’ll help out, I should get my timetable soon so I can let you know when I’ll have time.” 

Joel did nothing but nod, finishing his whiskey with a final drink, “You want another?” he asked, gesturing to the dregs of your drink in the bottom of your glass, “Your dad said he would call when he was leaving, and I’ve not heard anythin’ so we’ve got time.” 

He was a hard many to decline, you extended your glass to him, “I suppose in that case it would be rude not to.” 

Joel was back quickly with your second round of drinks, handing it over to you before taking his seat once more. 

“Your dad said you were havin’ boy troubles…” Joel trailed off, “I don’t mean to pry.” He added quickly. 

You chuckled, “Can you call it boy trouble if you were never official you asked?” Scoffing into your drink before sipping, “I guess he just found someone else, didn’t even have the balls to call me, just text me and said he’d found someone he liked better.” 

If you hadn’t been intently listening, you’d have missed what he said, “Idiot.” 

“You can say that again.” You replied, looking Joel straight in the eyes. 

“Maybe you need a man and not a boy.” He offered as the solution. 

A lump appeared in your throat as well as the tell-tale sign of butterflies in your stomach, “Oh yeah?” You countered, emboldened by the tequila in your veins, “A man like you?”

“Darlin,” Joel began, you could tell he was having an internal battle with himself, “You don’t know what you’re saying.” 

“I’ve had two glasses of tequila Joel, I’m not wasted.” 

“That’s not what I was sayin’,” Joel countered, “I’m old and I’m your daddy’s best friend, that’s not what I was suggesting at all.”  “You’re 36 Joel, that’s not old,” You smirked, placing your book on the floor beside you, “And I’m 24, I’m old enough to make decisions about what I want.”  “I’m what you want?” He asked, “Really?” 

“Have you never noticed the way I look at you Joel?” You asked, “I have never met a man quite like you.” 

“You’re too kind darlin’,” Joel smirked and you could swear he was blushing, “Why don’t you come on over here and sit next to me?” 

He was gesturing to the empty space on the bench he had chosen to sit at. You don’t think you’d moved so fast in all your life. Within seconds you were sat next to him, glass abandoned on the floor by your old seat. You sat in a similar position to before with your legs wrapped underneath you, close enough that your heart was beating through your chest, but far enough away that you weren’t touching each other. 

Slowly you watched as Joel drained his second drink, putting the glass on the floor in a similar fashion to you, before reaching out to touch the skin on your leg. It was a soft touch, but it lit a fire within you. 

“Unwrap your legs baby,” Joel whispered, “Lay them out on my lap.” 

His hands were rough against the smooth skin of your ankles as he pulled them into the position he wanted. Resting on his lap with his hands running up and down as far as he could reach. Your breath was hitched so far into your throat that you were sure you would suffocate. 

“Joel,” was all you could managed to choke out at his touch, “Joel you need to kiss me.” 

You couldn’t quite believe what was happening. The man that you had been crushing on for years, who should be completely off limits, was caressing your legs, his hands moving closer to your thighs with each second. No man had ever had this effect on your – you were sure if either of you dipped your hands beneath your shorts, you’d be the wettest you’d ever been. 

“I need to kiss you?” Joel asked, his eyes boring right into your own, “Is that so?” 

So, he was a tease. Under any other circumstance you’d be delighted in knowing this. However, you knew you were on borrowed time. It was only a matter of time before his phone rang and your dad would be on his way to pick you up and you’d be damned if you were leaving here without knowing what it felt like to have his lips on yours. Or any other place on your body for that matter. 

“Joel I swear to God if you don’t put your lips on me I think I’m going to die.” 

“I don’t know what’s worse,” He murmured, “Having your dead body on my hands or having to look your dad in the eye knowing I’ve made out with his daughter.” 

Joel Miller and his smart fucking mouth. You could feel your arousal pooling in your lower stomach and you’d had enough. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and unceremoniously pulled him to you. For a man as large as Joel he moved with a grace you didn’t possess in that moment, landing right where you wanted him about an inch from your mouth. 

For what felt like an age the two of you stared at each other, Joel’s dark and hungry eyes looking directly into your soul. You felt his hand cup your cheek – his rough thumb making soft strokes to your skin before it was all over. 

Joel softly pressed his lips to yours and it was like you exploded. It was light, some would say barely there, but it was enough to ignite the fire within you. You ran one of your hands around the back of Joel’s neck, feeling the expanse of curls at the back of his neck before pulling him more firmly to you. Within seconds he was deepening the kiss and it was all open mouths and tongues. You bucked your hips up into his own, feeling a growing bulge in his jeans. 

Without thinking, your hands moved from being wrapped around Joel’s neck to resting at the top of his jeans. His mouth was overwhelming on yours and you couldn’t think straight but what you did know is that the sooner you got his clothes off the sooner you would be consumed by pleasure. 

“Slow down darlin’” Joel chuckled, finally pulling away from your mouth, “I can’t fuck you on my back porch for everyone to see now, can I?” 

A blush crept onto your cheeks at his brazen words. You had no idea where your brazen behavior had come from, normally shy and willing to please anyone. But Joel had you pinned down on a bench, legs spread to accommodate his hips and a growing hard on that you could feel through your shorts. He could actively invite the neighbors around to watch from the back lawn and you wouldn’t complain. All you knew was that you needed him. 

“Let them watch,” You managed to breath out, “I don’t care where you do it Joel or how for that matter, but if you don’t start taking my clothes off, I’m going to explode.” 

He took a moment to look into your eyes, almost as if he was trying to talk himself out of what was going to happen next. It was one thing to make out with his best friend’s daughter – he could chalk it down to whiskey and tequila and keep his distance from now on – but another thing entirely to strip her naked and plunge his cock into her until she didn’t know her name and the only thing she could ask was for more. 

“Get up.” Was all he said, standing up himself before wrapping his hand around your wrist, “Do you promise to keep quiet?” He asked. 

Words failed you so all you could do was nod in response, “If you promise to be a good girl and be as quiet as possible, then I’ll take you upstairs.” 

“I promise.”

Joel all but grabbed your hand, dragging you through the humid house and up the stairs as quietly as you could manage. Safely ensconced in his room you took a moment to take in the surroundings. Messy, just like it always had been when you’d peeked your head in to look at Joel’s space whenever he wasn’t around. The bed was unmade, like it usually was but none of it mattered. All that mattered and all you could focus on was Joel’s hand at the small of your back, pushing you towards the bed. 

“Lie down for me baby.” He whispered into your ear as you felt the loss of his hand. 

You did as you were told, getting onto the bed on your hands and knees to crawl up to the headboard, hoping and praying that Joel was focusing his eyes on your ass as you did so. Once you turned yourself around and propped yourself up on the pillows you could tell you’d had just the effect you wanted. 

“Jesus girl,” he moaned, undoing his belt and freeing it from the belt loops on his jeans, “I’m going to have to make a rule of no shorts in this house from now on, I’m never going to be able to look at you the same now.” 

A giggle erupted from your mouth at his words and you fumbled to undo the button of your shorts – immediate relief flooding your stomach as they loosened. 

You watched intently as Joel mimicked your move from before, crawling up the bed to settle in the space between your thighs. 

“Shall I tell you what I want to do, darlin’?” 

You nodded, reaching your arms out to slowly unbutton his shirt. 

“I’m going to take all these clothes off and then I want you to sit on my face, that okay with you?” You replied with a moan as the last button came undone, “And then, once I’ve got you nice and wet, I’m going to pin you down underneath me and fuck you until you don’t remember your name,” Another moan in reply as you slipped the shirt down his shoulders, Joel moving enough to take it off and discard it to the floor, “But you gotta remember to keep quiet baby, okay?” 

“I already promised, didn’t I?” You challenged, “Take my clothes off already Joel.” 

Like a rehearsed dance, it took next to no time for Joel to have you naked and spread out underneath him. 

“You look like a goddess, darlin’.” he breathed against your neck as his hands wandered down from your breasts to between your thighs, hovering just above where you really wanted those fingers.

If you hadn’t been so overwhelmed about the fact that his fingers were mere millimeters from your clit you probably would have curled up and died at his compliment. No-one had ever made you feel this way, like you were the only woman they ever wanted to look at. No-one was likely to come close to this again so you were trying to savour it the best you could. 

All of a sudden Joel had moved, he was on his back led next to you, “Come on darlin’, hop on up here.” 

You did as you were told, momentarily taking the time to straddle his hips before Joel used his hands to scoot you up until your pussy was spread and bare against his face.

“I said sit,” Joel murmured, “Not hover.” He used his rough hands to pull your hips down so that you were indeed sat right on his face. 

From that moment you were done for. Joel’s tongue licked long and slow stripes all the way from your entrance up to your clit. Every time the tip of his tongue hit your bundle of nerves your legs would shake but he wouldn’t focus there for more than a few seconds. It was driving you nuts. 

You moved your hips against his mouth and then grabbed a fistful of hair from between your legs to hold his mouth on your clit. Before a moan could leave your mouth you clapped a hand over your lips. Joel’s tongue was focused entirely on your clit with devastating consequences, you were unashamedly grinding against his tongue and every now and again a groad would echo through your body from Joel’s lips. 

“Oh my god Joel,” You whispered as quietly as you could manage, “I’m going to cum.” 

Joel stopped briefly enough to respond, “Good, let go for me baby.” 

That was all it took for you to come undone. Your legs clasped at the sides of his heads as your orgasm ripped through you, a hand yet again moving to cover your mouth to muffle the sound of your moans. Joel’s tongue continued flicking against your clit, sending aftershocks all the way up your body. 

“Such a good girl for me, doin’ exactly what I asked.” He spoke as you lifted yourself off and flopped down onto the bed, attempting to catch your breath. 

Joel had other ideas that didn’t involve resting and was quickly up and shedding himself of his jeans. You watched intently as his slipped his underwear off, you’re sure your eyes widened at the sight of his cock. Thick and long, almost uncertain that it would fit at all. 

He climbed back onto the bed, settling himself effortlessly between your thighs, “Look at you baby,” He breathed out, “All spread and waiting for me.”  He took a moment to reach into his bedside drawer and pull out a condom, tearing the packet open and fitting it on himself in the blink of an eye. 

He settled once again between your thighs, looking you directly in the eye as he rested his hands on either side of your face, “You ready for me baby?” He whispered. 

“I’ve never been more ready for anything.” 

He smirked down at you as he lined himself up with your dripping pussy. He slowly eased himself into you, centimeter by centimeter, watching closely for any signs of discomfort, but finding none. In fact, Joel almost fell apart as he watched you spread your legs wider for him. 

“Joel,” You mewed quietly as he bottomed out inside of you, “Fuck that feels good.” 

“Darlin’ you have no idea how good you feel around me,” He spoke, “I’m not gonna hold on for long.” 

In response all you did was grind your hips up into him, “I’m not going to break Joel, you need to start moving.” 

He did exactly as he was told and began pulling out and fucking into you in earnest. The stretch of his cock inside of you was heavenly and the growls falling from his mouth as he fucked you were overwhelming. 

“Touch yourself for me,” Came a demanding voice above you, “You can give me one more baby.” 

You didn’t need to be told twice. Your hand immediately focused in on your pussy, your fingers working your clit with that telltale feeling in your abdomen that told you it wouldn’t take much work to have you come undone again. 

“God you look fuckin’ perfect baby,” Joel moaned as his eyes fixed on your hand between the two of you, “I can feel you getting tight around me, you like that?” He asked, “You like my cock inside you?”  “Oh Joel,” You moaned, “I’ve never liked anything so much before.” 

“Go on baby, let go for me.”  It was like your brain was in his command – almost immediately you felt your pussy clench around his cock as you arched your back up into him. A hand flew to your mouth that wasn’t your own – Joel trying to keep you quiet so you didn’t wake Sarah up in the next room. 

“Fuckin’ hell baby,” Joel could barely speak, “You get so tight around me when you cum.”  You could feel him faltering, his thrusts were speeding up but they were messy and you knew he wasn’t going to hold on for much longer. 

“Joel,” Your voice was broken, “Joel, pull out and cum on my face.”  “Fuckin’ filthy baby,” Was his response but he did as he was asked, quickly pulling out and discarding the condom before straddling your chest, “You ready?”  All you could do was nod, watching with an open mouth as he jerked himself a few times before it was all over. Ropes of Joel’s warm cum hit your skin as a low moan left his mouth. He was still for a moment, eyes closed in ecstasy before opening them to look at you. 

“Pretty as a picture.” He spoke with a smirk. 

You smiled back, looking him dead in the eye as you ran your finger through some of the cum painted across your cheek, bringing your covered finger to your mouth. 

“I don’t think anyone has ever looked so good covered in my cum.” Joel said as he hopped off the bed and fetched a towel that was draped across the chair in the corner of his room. 

“You spend a lot of time finishing on women’s faces?” You chuckled, gratefully accepting the towel to clean yourself up. 

All of a sudden a high pitched chime filled the room, “Shit!” Joel exclaimed, “Where’s my fuckin’ phone?” 

He found it strewn on the floor next to his jeans, he answered quickly, “Hello?” Came his gruff voice, “Outside now?!” Joel’s eyes were wide open as your bliss was shattered, “Alright mate, no problem, she’ll be out in a little while.” 

He hung up the phone and flung it onto the bedside table as you scrabbled around the room for your clothes, “I can’t find my fucking panties.” You muttered, pulling your shirt over your head. 

“You haven’t got time darlin’,” Joel replied, throwing your shorts at you, “Put these on, hurry up.” 

If it wasn’t for the absolute terror that you dad was waiting outside for you, the way Joel was rushing you might have hurt – would he have led with you and whispered sweet things into your ear in the dark if you’d been able to stay? Or would he still be rushing you to get out and leave him alone? 

Once you were dressed and Joel had managed to throw something on as well, you were both bounding down the stairs. You picked up your bag and threw your sandals that you’d discarded earlier in the evening back onto your feet before taking a moment to catch your breath and smooth your hair. 

Just as you were about to head to the front door, Joel’s hand wrapped around your wrist and pulled you flush to his body – he captured your lips in a kiss so passionate that you were even more breathless than you had been before. 

“Just know darlin’, if he wasn’t waiting outside for you, I’d wrap you up in my bed and never let you leave.” 

“That mean’s I can come back then?” 

“Of course,” another chaste kiss pressed to your lips, “Baby, you’ve got me in a spin but I’m not giving you up, not yet.” 

Then, with a swift slap of your ass, he was pushing you to the door. Keeping his distance as he watched you walk down the steps and climb into your dad’s truck he did his best to act normally. 

“Thanks for keeping an eye on her Joel!” Your dad called out of the window, “I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.” 

Joel could see you sinking into your seat at your dad’s words, even through the car windows. 

“Oh not at all!” Joel called back, “Good as gold, as always!” 

You swear you saw that son of a bitch wink at you. Motherfucker. 

PREV | NEXT

[thenaturalfriends]

OFMD fans: I have the perfect thing to soothe your troubled souls and it is the cult British panel show Taskmaster.

Taskmaster does not have pirates. But it does have:

A massively neurodivergent and queer fanbase

Relentless homoeroticism

"Daddy"

A terrifyingly competent non-binary assassin

Madeleine Sami being hot as hell

A kiss the fandom can't stop thinking about

Romantic Mermaid Content

You love that David Jenkins embraces fan art? Taskmaster creator Alex Horne regularly seeks out and talks about kinky RPF about himself.

You love how OFMD is refreshingly earnest and non-cynical and features a diverse group of people working together? Come on over and cheer for teams of grown-ass adults collecting spoons with a magnet or trying to drag a gargantuan duck to a pond without touching the pineapples.

But the best, the best, the best thing about Taskmaster is that there is just so much of it. Series SEVENTEEN starts airing in a few weeks. There are THIRTEEN international spin-offs, two of which are as good as the original. The entire thing--the entire thing--is available for free on the show's official youtube channel.

No waiting, no angst. Taskmaster is sweet and silly and fluffy and endless. Taskmaster wants you to be happy. And you deserve to be happy.

(Start with Series 9 or Series 4 )

[puddinzducky]

welcome to my blog ! `·..୨୧˖ 🍮꒰ 🎀 ꒱ ‌♡ 𓂃

this post is to give u general info, plz read ! over time, this will be edited. ty ! (◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)

。。。table of contents

☆ . get 2 kno abt me

☆ . content and tws

☆ . resources

☆ . dni

☆ . other socials

☆ . misc

☆ . get 2 kno abt me

hei i'm ducky !! i like gacha, object shows, cute things, the cutecore aesthetic, gyaru, horror, jojifuku fashion, 2000s stuff, techno, plasterbrain, vocaloid, utau, lucky star, k-on, ducks and more.my fave song is pineapple crush, obv.my fave games/app(s) are gacha life, everskies and spotify.i kin twilight sparkle, madoka kaname, teto kasane, shirousa, komi, hello kitty, mio, sayori, asuka, cherry cookie, princess peach, cream puff cookie, leafy nd cinnamoroll.

☆ . content and tws

i didn't know what to do with this blog, but now i'm using it 4 mostly posting graphics and pixels. i have a lot of them. i like archiving stuff like a 2000s otaku loser.my content may contain blood, flashing imagery, semi-horror imagery and bright colors. if u have eplipsy, plz click off.

☆ . resources

i usually get my graphics from tumblr. but here's some tumblr posts that contains more sites.

☆ . other socials

i have other socials.

strawpage:

youtube:

rentry:

pinterest:

☆ . dni

i don't have a dni.

☆ . misc

[nathandrakeisabottom]

Yesss please sam drake food/eating hcs?? Fave meals, hated meals, etc

It is with great joy and great belatedness that I post my first Uncharted piece in ages. Thank you for the lovely ask, anon. :)

⋆ Sam Drake - Eating Headcanons ⋆

Two words: scarcity mindset.

After running away from Saint Frances’s, to claim money was tight is to be telling some humorous bit, Money was borderline non-existent. And as such, came what the Drake boys do best: theft. 

Liquor stores were their easiest, and most consistent source. Sam still takes great pride in telling his many stories revolving around ‘cashier meet-cutes’ disguising their proudest heist to date: a 12-year-old Nathan smuggling canned goods under a moth-holed hoodie. 

Because of this, gas station snacks: twinkies, Lays chips, slurpees, etc. all tend to give him this simultaneous sense of nostalgia and nausea. Like when you’re eating eggs and all of a sudden, your body gags on the next bite.

But on an especially shitty day, expect him to be gobbling a Big Gulp and a half-frozen hot dog on the nearest street corner, with a half-smoked cigarette still sunken between his lips. It’s the way he wallows. 

Secretly wants you to tell him how bad that shit is for him so he has an excuse to snottily spat back “who the ‘ell cares?”. He finds pride in not caring about anything. (He cares about everything.)

Getting fast food at the drive-thru? Man waves you off a total of three times claiming he doesn’t want nothing before proceeding to eat half of your McNuggets without asking. He loves BBQ sauce and needs Tabasco on everything like it’s his will to live.

Big fan of spicy, sour, and tart, anything that makes your mouth pucker. Pretzels, salt and vinegar chips, cottage cheese, pickles, pineapple (😉). “What can I say? I admire a fruit that fights back!” — he snorts before taking a raw bite of a lemon, just to squirm you out.

Maybe a bit of the masochist in him. 

When he and Nate were able to get proper gigs (12-year-old Nathan: illegally, of course), they were able to progress to the simplest of grocery outlet options. Eggs, instant ramen packets, canned vegetables that were 9 out of 10 times eaten raw out of the can with a fork, and more nothing-but-toast-for-dinner than they’d want to admit).

Sam and Nate spent most of their childhood eating their dad’s scrambled eggs and microwaved peas. When their mom passed, and dad released them to the state, Sam decided he’d only ever eat over-easy again.

Nate still chooses scrambled. He asks for cheese and green onions to split the difference, but always ends up only eating half of it before the memories come too strong and he has to push his plate away. 

QUICK eater. MESSY eater. And I mean quick and messy. 

Will use as minimal cutlery as possible, and if disposable, even better.

A scooper. Tends to be a chronic careless spiller with how frequently he tries to funnel all the last crumbs into his mouth, how quickly he chugs even a glass of water. (Most shirts of his are stained as a result.)

Tends to wait till the last possible moment to eat or drink anything. Breakfast basically doesn’t exist to him. 

Spills more beverage down his chin and shirt than his mouth (but a wet t-shirt certainly isn’t the worst thing to happen. Especially not to Samuel Drake. ;)

Pizza order: Meat Lover’s with extra sausage. Maybe some green bell peppers when he finally compromises with Nate during movie night.

Never, ever orders (well, non-alcoholic) drinks when eating out. And only water when he finally lets himself cave. Otherwise, he’s stealing sips from the nearest patron’s Jarrito bottle (his favorite is Tamarind).

Doesn’t bother cleaning up his fruit peels or peanut shells, even around others. That shit’s going on the floor without a second look.

Surprisingly, a king and natural on the BBQ. Despite having so little in their childhood, Sam still tried to go hard on the holidays for Nathan’s sake. Fourth of July is still Nate’s favorite holiday exclusively because of Sam’s public park-smoked ribs and the long, bumpy motorcycle ride up the highest hill in whatever city they were currently loitering in, just to see the fireworks. 

A dive bar master. Nate always orders whatever grease-covered appetizer they got in the back. Sam purposely keeps his stomach empty so there’s more room for whiskey. (Since nobody asked, incredible at pool, and will offer any woman in a twenty foot circumference a lesson. Cue the leaning chest over back, cue stick fantasy.)

A love language that was a total surprise to him is his partner cooking/baking something just for him, especially if it’s from scratch. Gets that rare, soft look in his eyes as he watches them carefully place each steaming plate onto the table. And trust, he’s not looking at the food when it happens.

Loves his partner in an apron. Like… loves his partner in an apron.

Make him food, and as soon as it’s eaten, he’s eating you after. ;)

When he finally settles down post-Madagascar, it’s a fucking struggle to get him to go grocery shopping at all for the first few months. 

Self-punishment, maybe. 

Nathan buys them himself instead and leaves them on the porch of Sam’s trailer park home when he’s too depressed to answer the door. 

Basically has to be forced to eat actual meat and vegetables. For the first few months, he reverts and eats only familiar prison food. The same single pot of chili/beans for a whole week, half portions only for each meal. Uncooked canned carrots. Microwave popcorn when Nathan calls him asking if he’s eaten, and when Sam lies, it sounds more believable with the microwave droning in the background.

However, when he finally starts to pick himself back up, when he gets his first day job since prison, finally lets Nate buy him a used truck to get around, his first solo call from Sully, that’s when he finally starts to eat.

And when he finally feels like himself again, when he finally lets himself want to live again, the first hobby that Sam Drake takes up is cooking.

[riptideripley]

Chapter One: Catering.

Word Count:630

April 18th 2022. The date replayed in her head like an ongoing record that could never be shut off. An annoying itch in her brain. It was the day she lost someone she thought loved her. Rhea Ripley.

Liv recalls that day very clearly in her mind,never letting it slip away. She was so close to a victory but let Rhea down..then lost her. Everything in her mind was spiraling, she tried talking to Rhea backstage but was just ignored and pushed to the side. She felt hopeless and alone.

She finally teamed with Raquel and moved on, but just when things were going well..Rhea came crawling back to ruin it. Injuring her tag partner. “You know Liv..if only you would’ve listened to me when i offered you a spot in my group.” she would constantly remind Liv every single day..until she did the unthinkable. She injured Liv.

———

Rhea sat backstage every Monday, watching every match since Liv had, even traveling to Smackdown. She felt bad for stalking a former lover like this when she has Dominik but..Dominik had other plans with Damian anyway so it didn’t matter to her what she did that much.

Rhea glanced at her phone, looking at the time only to see a text from Damian saying he’ll be with Dominik for the night. She chuckled silently to herself knowing exactly what he meant, tucking her phone into her pocket before rising out of her slightly uncomfortable chair. She decided to head to catering to grab a small snack since she barely ate all day, but there she was. The woman she was stalking. Liv Morgan. They made eye contact for a split second before Liv turned her attention back to the bottle of water she was grabbing. Rhea could only smile, she knew deep down Liv still loved her and only masked it with hate.

Liv tried to ignore her and just drink her water peacefully while relaxing after her match that got interrupted by Becky Lynch. Little did she know Rhea had followed her there and was watching her every single move. She felt the couch she was sitting on sink next to her and froze, not daring to see who it was..until she heard that familiar voice. “Liv..had a great match out there hm?” Rhea spoke, breaking the silence between them. It was just them two alone in the room, giving Rhea granted access to do whatever she pleased. Liv finally decided to give Rhea a quick look, or so she thought. It was like she was in a trance all over again. She just couldn’t look away which tortured her.

Rhea smiled as she noticed this, setting the plate of fruit she had down on the small coffee table and scooting closer to Liv. Before Liv could even process what was happening, she was straddling Rhea’s lap kissing her. God how much she missed these soft lips of hers..suddenly snapping into reality and pulling herself off of Rhea. “Awe what’s wrong honey? We were just getting started..” Rhea spoke softly as she stood up, towering over Liv who just stood there slowly processing everything. “I..I fucking hate you!” she yelled as she stormed out of the room leaving behind her water. ‘Sure you do’ Rhea thought to herself chuckling, grabbing her fruit and heading to her locker room. She noticed a note on her black vanity and began reading it as she munched on the pineapple from her plate.

“Meet me in room 222

- Liv. ”

Rhea has never grinned this wide in her life. Quickly finishing her fruit, she packed up her stuff and checked the time. 9:30. Enough time for her to go to her room before meeting Liv.

[highpriestess13]

Lions gate portal & New moon in Leo!

LOOK ALIVE! LOOK ALIVE! Is the theme for ALL of you! The wheels are turning and things are about to flip but for the good! Get ready for unexpected surprises, changes, mishaps (for the good so don’t fear) and many many many more good things. With mishaps there may be a situation or situations that’s going to happen but it’s going to turn out better than expected… almost like bittersweet. Stability, powerful forward momentum and movement along with trusting oneself. You’re all in the 9 of pentacles and Empress energy (any gender). The self assurance and reassurance is going to be on 10 but in a way where you’re going to be trusting yourself more… trusting your intuition and leading with your heart rather than your mind because your mind has gotten you in a lot of fucked up situations/ rabbit holes that took you forever to get out of… right or wrong? Tap into your “female intuition” because the moon is going to be your best friend from here on out! Traveling/ moving is heavily forecasted and this is going to be at a place/ location where you’re going to feel VERY safe, secure and stable. More earthy is what I’m getting. You may have had problems with grounding before because of where you were because maybe things were more fast paced and on the go but this new location is going to help you to relax and wind down and move at your own pace. Grounding will never be an issue for you and besides, this is your season of personal growth and development. “Sitting pretty and sitting tall” is what I’m hearing. You don’t have to do anything nor lift a finger because you know deep down within that you got it like that. We don’t chase we…??? That’s right ATTRACT! That’s the energy for all of you and that’s energy we’re going to stay in. What you ask for you will receive 10 fold. Peacocks, pomegranates, bananas, oranges and pineapples are your confirmation! And it’s time to eat more fruits and vegetables too.. keep yourself healthy! Lastly, if you’ve been having problems with dull skin… no more. NOPE! That healthy skin glow is going to be naturally showing up and out hunny! Hope this helps!

🪽🪽Wanting a personal reading? Dm for pricing!

[berylcups]

La Squadra Shower Thoughts Ice Cream Edition

Im so sorry guys, this has been stuck in my head ALLLL damn day and I need to scream it out into the void because my unfunny ass thinks this is funny.

Ice Cream Date with Ghiaccio gone wrong:

🍭“When you nut do you call it ice cream?”

🧊“Wtf?! No! That’s disgusting! Im not comparing my ejaculate to fucking ice cream! And I’m Italian. It would be gelato!”

🍭“Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguó xiànzài wǒ yǒu BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 wǒ hěn xǐhuān BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 dànshì sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 bǐ BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 sùdù yǔ jīqíng sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 wǒ zuì xǐhuān suǒyǐ…xiànzài shì yīnyuè shíjiān zhǔnbèi 1 2 3 liǎng gè lǐbài yǐhòu sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 ×3 bùyào wàngjì bùyào cu òguò jìdé qù diànyǐngyuàn kàn sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 yīn wéi fēicháng hǎo diànyǐng dòngzuò fēicháng hǎo chàbùduō yīyàng BING CHILLING 🥶🍦zàijiàn 🥶”

🧊 “I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING! PARLARE  ITALIANO PUTTANA!"

🍭"Buongiorno Italia-“ 

🧊“Goddamn it pfft-! *snort* st-stop!”

________________________________________________________

Also if the La Squadra were ice cream flavors this is the OFFICIAL CANON LIST--NO COMPLAINTS IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN

Risotto- Black Cherry Chip

Formaggio- Peanut Butter Cup

Illuso - RUM RAISIN (yes he gets the worst flavor because hes an asshole)

Pesci- Pineapple

Prosciutto- Salted Caramel

Melone- Ube/Taro

Ghiaccio- Sea salt

Sorbet - Blue berry sorbet (hes every IBS/lactose intolerance havers dream)

Gelato - Coconut

[rachellaurengray]

Go ahead and reblog this simple list of vegan snacks. It doesn't need to be DIFFICULT if you know where to start.

Welcome to your Complete cheatsheet list of 50 Vegan snacks and their low calorie content for mindful snacking.

1. Apple 🍎 Slices with Almond Butter (1 apple, 1 tbsp) - 160 calories

2. Carrot 🥕 Sticks with Hummus (10 baby carrots, 2 tbsp) - 90 calories

3. Mixed 🥜 Nuts (1 oz) - 160 calories

4. Trail Mix (1/4 cup) - 150 calories

5. Fresh Fruit 🍌 (Banana) (1 medium) - 105 calories

6. Berries 🍓 (1 cup) - 85 calories

7. Grapes (1 cup) - 60 calories

8. Rice Cakes with 🥑 Avocado (1 rice cake, 1/4 avocado) - 90 calories

9. Celery Sticks with Peanut Butter (3 sticks, 1 tbsp) - 100 calories

10. Air-Popped 🍿 Popcorn (3 cups) - 90 calories

11. Cucumber 🥒 Slices with Tahini (1/2 cucumber, 1 tbsp) - 80 calories

12. Dried Fruit (Apricots) (5 pieces) - 85 calories

13. Dried Mango 🥭 (1/4 cup) - 130 calories

14. Edamame (1/2 cup) - 100 calories

15. Cherry Tomatoes 🍅 (1 cup) - 25 calories

16. Whole Grain Crackers with Vegan Cheese 🧀 (5 crackers, 1 slice) - 130 calories

17. Oatmeal with Berries (1/2 cup cooked, 1/4 cup) - 140 calories

18. Smoothie (Banana, Spinach, Almond Milk) (1 cup) - 180 calories

19. Dark Chocolate 🍫 (1 oz) - 150 calories

20. Vegan Yogurt with Granola (1/2 cup, 2 tbsp) - 180 calories

21. Roasted Chickpeas (1/4 cup) - 120 calories

22. Vegetable 🥬 Chips (Kale) (1 cup) - 50 calories

23. Sweet Potato Chips (1 oz) - 150 calories

24. Fruit Salad 🍉 🍎 🍌 (1 cup) - 70 calories

25. Almonds (1 oz) - 160 calories

26. Cashews (1 oz) - 160 calories

27. Pistachios (1 oz) - 160 calories

28. Homemade Granola Bar (1 bar) - 200 calories

29. Vegan Protein Bar (1 bar) - 200 calories

30. Coconut 🥥 Yogurt (1/2 cup) - 120 calories

31. Bell Pepper 🫑 Slices with Hummus (1 bell pepper, 2 tbsp) - 70 calories

32. Apple Chips (1 oz) - 80 calories

33. Banana 🍌 Chips (1 oz) - 150 calories

34. Vegan Cheese Slice (1 slice) - 60 calories

35. Seaweed Snacks (1 pack) - 25 calories

36. Frozen Grapes 🍇 (1 cup) - 60 calories

37. Chia Pudding (1/2 cup) - 150 calories

38. Guacamole 🥑 with Veggie Sticks (2 tbsp, 1/2 cup) - 120 calories

39. Roasted Pumpkin Seeds (1 oz) - 150 calories

40. Stuffed Dates (Almond Butter) (3 dates) - 150 calories

41. Rice Paper Rolls (Vegetable) (1 roll) - 100 calories

42. Mango Slices (1 cup) - 100 calories

43. Apricot Halves (1/2 cup) - 70 calories

44. Pineapple Chunks (1 cup) - 80 calories

45. Almond Butter on Rice Cake (1 tbsp, 1 rice cake) - 130 calories

46. Sliced Oranges (1 large) - 85 calories

47. Peach Slices (1 cup) - 60 calories

48. Cantaloupe Chunks (1 cup) - 50 calories

49. Broccoli Florets with Tahini (1 cup, 2 tbsp) - 110 calories

50. Snap Peas with Hummus (1 cup, 2 tbsp) - 90 calories

These snacks provide a variety of tastes and nutrients while keeping the calorie count manageable.

[klaus-littlestwolf]

Which of the Lost Boys do you think is the most likely to…

Be mistaken for a celebrity?

Have visited the most states or even countries?

Have a collection of books that they may or may not have read entirely?

Speak a foreign language fluently?

Identify types of flowers?

Have the most body count?

Be a sadist?

Be the best at math?

Give someone the wrong directions (intentionally)?

Be an extra in a zombie movie?

Have read a Harlequin book?

Win at trivia?

Give the best hugs?

Fall from the tree?

Enjoy pineapple on their pizza?

Lost Boys Most Likely To 2

1) David often got teased for looking like Billy Idol, and while from his brothers and mate he found it funny, the whole pack would often end up feasting on a group of Surf Nazis because one of them made a loud, snarky comment in passing just trying to get under his skin…it always worked

2) David, before turning Dwayne and gaining a brother, used to spend his immortal life with Max which led him to visiting several different countries and states which he hated because he had had to travel in a coffin during the day and hope the no curious human opened the lid

3) Dwayne had several large bookshelves, full of books that he’s collected and stolen from both the boardwalk and his victims, books of every kind from Classics and documentaries to dark romances and biographies and he’s read almost every one of them

4) Marko is the only one to speak another language, and it shocks everyone to learn that he speaks fluent Italian

5) The only thing that Boys know about flowers is which ones to get in a bouquet when they fuck up and upset Y/n

6) Highest Body count? Definitely David, but that’s solely because of the fact that he’s the oldest, Marko is a very close second which may be shocking as Dwayne is the second oldest but Marko is the most angry and violent of the boys which leads to more deaths on his part

7) Marko is the most sadistic of the boys, which may be surprising to outsiders since they view him as the ‘smallest’ and the ‘One that’s always smiling’

8) The best at Math? Probably Dwayne but they’ve never stopped to find out

9) David would definitely give someone the wrong directions and take the opportunity to get them somewhere isolated so that he and the boys could have a snack, Paul however would do it just to be funny

10) Paul would 100% find it funny to volunteer as an extra in a zombie movie, especially because the camera won’t be able to see him so the scared humans just look possessed

11) Probably Dwayne, none of the other boys really read anything but he would never admit to it

12) Dwayne or David when it comes to trivia, depending on the type of trivia

13) Paul absolutely gives the best hugs, always knowing when one is needed but all of the boys give amazing hugs, David’s are so rare that it’s a special thing to experience, Dwayne is strangely always the warmest despite never wearing a shirt so its always wonderful and Marko’s hugs are always random and involve being twirled around

14) Paul or Marko would definitely be the ones to fall from the tree, just from fucking around with each other which ends up getting them both hurt and in need of a meal

15) Dwayne is the only one to enjoy pineapple on their pizza which makes their mate happy as she loves the same thing and she thought she was the only one

[cherubofthenight]

nurturing my natural self (part 1 & 2)

Disclaimer: I made this, like all my other posts, for myself, but if you are reading this, I'm not a doctor, and this is basic researched knowledge. If you realize that you need help, please seek a doctor!

True beauty starts from within, and it shows on the outside

Signs your body need attention:

Acne, BO, dry skin, bad breath, excessively oily skin, brittle hair, bloating & rashes are signs that your body needs attention from the inside. Instead of masking these issues, work to improve your diet, hydration, and fitness levels. When your internal health improves, it will reflect outwardly in your appearance.

- regular doctor, dental & gyno visits: crucial for maintaining overall health

- hydration: aim for 8-10 glasses of water a day to flush toxins, support digestion, hydrate skin & overall health

- Balanced diet: Focus on whole foods (chicken, fish, dairy, legumes, nuts, and seeds), healthy fats (walnuts, flaxseeds, chia seeds, avocados), and fiber (oats, beans, lentils). Reduce processed foods, particularly sugar and fried items, which can lead to inflammation.

- Regular Exercise: helps reduce stress and improve circulation, digestion, and overall energy. Exercise helps detoxify the body through sweat and supports glowing skin.

- mindfulness: hormonal balance, skin health, and digestion

- Adequate sleep: Aim for 7–9 hours of sleep each night to allow your body time to recover, heal, and regulate hormones.

- Gut health: incorporate probiotics through foods such as yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kombucha to balance gut bacteria. digestive enzyme supplements or eating enzyme-rich foods like pineapple and papaya to support better digestion

- Detox & Cleanse: support liver health by including leafy greens, lemon water, and green tea in your diet. A healthy liver helps clear skin and prevent body odor. Reduce toxins by limiting caffeine, alcohol, and smoking, which can lead to dehydration, dull skin, and bad breath.

Strengthening Your Body and Your Confidence

If you’re not happy with your body, don’t just try to cover it up or pretend it doesn’t bother you—focus on making changes. This boosts the way you look and the way you feel. When you put in the effort to improve your natural self, you'll naturally attract people who appreciate that same commitment to self-care.

- Calisthenics: comes from the Greek words ‘Kalos’ meaning beauty and ‘Stenos’ which translates as strength. utilizes body weight to build strength, flexibility, and endurance with little to no equipment. It includes exercises like squats, push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, and planks.

- Yoga: ancient indian practice that connects the body, breath, and mind through physical postures, breathing exercises, and meditation. Yoga improves overall health, increases flexibility, and maintains a balanced metabolism, helping to prevent injuries. ps: esp good for my scoliosis.

- Pilates: low-impact exercise method focused on core strength, flexibility, and overall body awareness. developed by Joseph Pilates, it emphasizes controlled movements, proper alignment, and breathing techniques. pilates exercises can be done on a mat or with specialized equipment like the Reformer and are often recommended for injury rehabilitation and enhancing athletic performance.

Listen to your body:

If you feel pain during an exercise, stop doing the movement. It’s important to only work within your physical limits to prevent further injury. - healthine

SEE PART 2 FOR MORE

masterlist