#pickle anon war

[thepicklegifter]

"nothing bad happens in January" WRONG pickle anon war

[sh4tt3rg1rl]

I'm now realizing that some people who choose pickle stealers might be on the opposite side of the war as their lover and...

(maniacal laughter) AAAANGST!!!!

[theoneandonlysun]

SUUUUN THERE’S A PICKLE WAAAAAR

There's a wh4t now?

Sun is informed of the war.

Oh... well... I'll be on Pickle An0n's side, because h3's nice. He doesn't deserve that...

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Like everybody else, I love young!recruit, but lately, the absolute treasure that is the Colonel is utterly taking up residence in my brain and refusing to leave. Pleeeeease, if you could indulge a simple anon, I'd be forever grateful 💜💜💜

Look… Colonel König is a gift from God!!

Imagine a calm, confident, emotionally stable and intelligent man who's worked on himself, Colonel König is the opposite of young recruit (who's basically a lovesick fuckboy), he calms a woman’s nervous system simply by entering the room. His colleagues respect him, his subordinates aim to please him, men want to be him, and women want to be with him... But he only has eyes and loins for you!

Man has a nice, healthy layer of fat on top of his muscles (unlike the young lean recruit who really ought to eat more) – it’s a shallow thing to do but you can't help but compare these two!Even his musk is somehow different, it’s better, less pungent... Nice and mellow, manly, robust, you sometimes pout when he says he has to take a shower :/

Colonel has a few scars on his neck, chest, abs: old wounds that have long since healed, but he absolutely loves it when you caress them like a maiden about to swoon. And it’s only natural that you worship his war-torn body, because Colonel König worships you.

Pulls you into his arms when he comes home, giving you a passionate, unhurried kiss. Takes a good, long look at you – his darling precious wife, look at how beautiful you are… Has to inhale your scent, good and deep, God, he has missed you so much...

And the way he makes love to you :// It's like he makes love to your soul, too. You could almost cry from how well he's attuned to your needs, man’s so present that you feel shy, even after all these years. Imagine getting flustered when he’s inside you, because you do, the attention is too much.

Colonel König looks deep into your eyes while he fucks you, with a small smile on his lips. Of course he sees how hot and bothered his pretty little wife is, getting sweaty and breathless even if it’s him who’s doing all the work. How did he even end up with such a needy woman...? He must’ve done something right…

And if you’re in need of a rougher ride, he’ll fuck you against a wall, sure, no problem! Man’s as strong as a bull, his stamina is not as through the roof as younger recruit’s but what the older Colonel lacks in desperate quickies he makes up in skill and quality loving <3

Strolls into the kitchen in the morning when you’re making coffee, large hands disappearing under your (his) shirt as he comes behind you and rumbles that he loves you. You find him staring at you, at the store when you're picking your favorite pickle jar, at home when you're reading a book. When you stop and smile and ask him why he's looking at you like that, he tilts his head and says: “Just admiring my beautiful wife :)”

Calls and checks up on you often, laughs huskily at the other end of the phone when you tell him about your silly work day. You get a feeling that you brighten his days with your adorableness, and when you send him cute cat videos, he likes every single one of them. Just imagining the respected, sometimes even feared Colonel watching cat videos in his office in the middle of the day, smiling and double tapping the screen before rerurning to his work, makes your heart hurt.

Young recruit only sends you dirty memes and suspicious gun videos... He only likes your selfies, and begs you to send him naughty videos while he's deployed :( If you sent him a cat video he'd probably joke about making a hat out of that cat...

When you tell the Colonel about young recruit's latest antics, he just sighs and says that the boy has a long way to go. Your husband is mainly interested in that the pup has managed to please you, and asks if he needs to give the rascal an earful... or a warning. You find yourself protecting the poor recruit who would, in truth, never survive the wrath of his older version. It's not that the Colonel enjoys unnecessary violence or would beat younger König into a pulp, it's just that he can get a little intimidating when it comes to the issue of pleasing and respecting his wife.

One wrong move, and the young recruit will fly out the door and won't be let in. Nope, not even if it rains and the sorry dog is whining and scratching at the door :((

[tagthescullion]

I'm imagining an AU where Nico brought Hazel back from the dead but didn't know about Camp Jupiter, maybe leaving the Underworld with her before Hades told him (the timeline as to when exactly he found out about CJ and how this fits into when he brought Hazel is iffy anyway; we don't actually know which one happened first); maybe he didn't even realize she was Roman.

So instead, he brings her to Camp Half-Blood.

Their cover story is that Hazel is from the Lotus Hotel. Nico went back there hoping to find out more about his family, since he doesn't remember anything about his past and hoped he and Bianca had left papers or photographs or something there, found Hazel there instead, and brought her out. This explains Hazel being from the 1940s and also explains Hades not breaking the oath, since I don't think he'd stand for his honor being questioned if the Greeks thought he'd broken the oath with Hazel's mother.

So Nico and Hazel show up at camp, and he brings her to Chiron. Chiron, who can recognize a Roman on sight, just like he did with Jason.

And Chiron takes one look at Hazel and, just like he did with Jason, says, "You should be dead."

To which Hazel and Nico respond, shocked that they've been found out so soon, "How did you know?!"

anon you inspired me, and I am most grateful, I was having a 20s crisis.

Rating: G+ (a bit of swearing)

Words: 2258

AO3 link

Inconvenient Revelations

“We’re almost there,” Nico said between breaths. 

Hazel couldn’t judge him. They’d been trekking for ages, her legs were going by themselves by this point, she’d lost the feeling in them at least ten miles ago.

“Why couldn’t we take a bus?” She asked. 

Nico didn’t stop, but he slowed his pace so he’d be side-by-side with her. “Hazel, I’ve told you, it’s dangerous. I am like a magnet to monsters. I’ve heard stories of monsters in buses, trains, even planes!”

That was all tragic and all, but for starters, Hazel knew Nico would rather swim across the Atlantic and half-way across the Mediterranean to his native Italy rather than so much as sit on a plane; and secondly, she’d seen the boy deal with four different monsters on the way and the chances of a lone, hungry monster managing to murder them on a bus was almost zero.

She gave him a funny look.

“All right,” he said, raising his hands in an appeasing manner. “I thought we’d get to know each other better if we traveled by foot. Central Park isn’t too far from Camp if you go in a vehicle.”

“And, pray tell,” she said. “What have you learned about me in four and a half days of walking?”

Nico shrugged. “You hate pickles, you never learned how to ride a bike, thinking about the past makes you go on a trance, you lived in Alaska but won’t tell me why, you—” He leaned on a tree and held a hand to his side. “I am so not made for exercising.” He said indignantly. “At any rate, I know a million details and nothing substantial.”

She turned so he wouldn’t see her face. She’d avoided talking about stuff she cared too much about, or was embarrassed about, too. She hadn’t mentioned Sammy, or their father’s visit. She avoided speaking of her mother. She had never told him how she had died, nor how she had almost allowed Gaea to rise to power again. 

“I don’t like sharing either,” he assured her. “That’s okay.”

That was also true. She knew very little of her new brother. He liked soccer, he hated mozzarella. He had another sister who died, he was Venetian —and no, that wasn’t the same as ‘Italian’—. He was also born before the War, and had remained in a timeless trance in a place called the Lotus Hotel —which he had only confessed, she supposed, because it was to be her cover once they arrived at Camp Half-Blood—.

Yet Hazel was sure that they had, for better or for worse, found out substantial information out of each other by accident. 

She knew she’d been rescued from the Underworld by accident because he’d called her Bianca too many times to hide the pain he felt from not being able to have his real sister back. While he now was comfortable sleeping in rough places and out in nature, he had clearly had a rather privileged upbringing  —who  the hell asked for silverware to eat tacos?—. He respected, and probably even loved, their father and yet he resented the god, too. 

“What do you really know about me?” She asked. 

He raised an eyebrow. 

“Don’t play a fool,” she insisted. “I know you know more than that.”

Nico studied her with his soft-brown eyes. His eyes, Hazel thought, didn’t fit his face well. They were too kind, even when he hardened his expression to a cold, unfeeling façade.

“You regret something,” he said. “Probably something about how or why you died.”

She tilted her head. 

“In Asphodel, most spirits forget themselves.” He explained, starting to walk again. “Unless they hold dear memories they stick to,” he continued, “or unless they can’t let go of regrets and guilt.”

“What makes you think I don’t remember good memories?” She wondered.

He scoffed. “No offence, Hazel, but you’re miserable.”

She frowned. “How kind. Spoken like the true ray of sunshine you are.”

He huffed a laugh. “You’re not wrong. I have accepted that I'm not happy. But you have another chance at life. Cheer up, Hazel!”

She didn’t cheer up. 

They walked in silence for a few more miles. Gods, she was ready to drop and sleep for two weeks.

“Over there!” Nico stopped suddenly. He pointed towards the North-East.

Hazel barely avoided colliding with him. She followed her brother’s arm to a hill. There was a lone pine-tree standing on top, with something curled underneath it —too far for her eyes to see properly—.

“That’s the place?” She asked. “Do we have to climb more?”

Nico nodded somberly. “I forgot New York had hills.”

She had wondered, on more than one occasion, how her brother could forget places he had supposedly visited a lot. He had painted this Camp Half-Blood as a haven for demigods in danger, and yet he didn’t seem to know jackshit about it.

“Clearly, you walk here often,” she said.

“I shadow-travel,” he told her. “Much faster, but rather tiring. Especially for long distances. Besides, my aim isn’t great.”

She did recall asking how far he’d ever been from his home, and him replying ‘China!’. It probably had to do with the whole being eaten by shadows thing.

When he’d explained to her what shadow-traveling consisted of, he'd also mentioned it was unwise to use that method not knowing if the shadows would claim her again. Needless to say, she’d been uncompelled to try.

Eventually, treading over their tired feet, they managed to get to the hill. Halfway through the climb —not too steep a slope, thank the gods—, Hazel recognized the thing under the tree.

It was a dragon.

“It’s okay,” Nico said, catching her face. “He’s a good dragon, he guards Thalia’s tree.”

Why did the tree have a name, Hazel didn’t know. Why did they have a guardian dragon…? Well, it must have had to do with the shiny pelt on one of the lower branches.

“Why do you have a carpet on the tree?” She asked. 

Nico looked bemused. “Huh? Oh… the Golden Fleece? It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later.”

The dragon raised his head as they got closer.

“Hello, Peleus.” Nico grinned at the beast. “How are we doing today? Still warm for September, isn’t it?”

The dragon let Nico pet him for a bit, and then he saw Hazel.

Immediately, its demeanor changed. It went still, watching her every move with dark eyes.

“What’s wrong with you, ragazzo?” Nico demanded. “She’s one of us, this is Hazel, my sister!”

Peleus didn’t seem to care much for Nico’s opinion. He followed her with his eyes as she walked past him.

Crossing an invisible wall that appeared to be aligned with the tree, Hazel felt a shiver down her spine.

Turn away. 

Her hands felt sweaty all of a sudden.

Get out.

Nico saw her discomfort and gave up trying to convince the dragon of Hazel’s innocence.

Could this place know what Hazel had done? Nico had called it Thalia’s tree. Was Thalia some sort of protector spirit that kept traitors away?

She crossed her arms around her torso, feeling cold.

“Is everything all right?” He asked. “The barrier may know you’re…”

For a fraction of a second, Hazel froze, scared that Nico had somehow figured out her hand in Gaea’s attempted return. Then she calmed herself, he only meant she had been dead.

“Must be.” She tried to sound certain, but Nico’s face let her know she’d failed spectacularly.

“Come on, then,” he said, offering her a hand. “That over there’s the Big House, we’ll get you acquainted with the activities director and with the camp’s director, too —if he’s here, that is—.”

Hazel got a good look of Camp Half-Blood as they went down the hill towards the house. There were bizarre-looking cabins arranged in a horse-shoe shape, some only half-constructed. A sprinkle of Greek-style buildings dotted the valley between the hills, and a big forest went off towards the East. She could glimpse the ocean in the distance, and a lake not too far from it.

It was idyllic, and yet every step further into the place made Hazel feel more and more uneasy.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she warned her brother on the porch steps —the blue house looming over them—.

Nico’s face had closed off, making Hazel sure he knew something was off. Regardless, he tried for a smile and said, “Nonsense, everybody’s welcome at Camp.”

Out the door came out a tall, blonde girl, almost running into them.

“Oh, Nico, hi!” She said. She turned to Hazel with a small smile. “You must be new.”

“Hazel,” Nico gestured at her. “This is Annabeth Chase, our leader.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “Percy’s the leader, not me.”

Nico shrugged. “Is Chiron here?”

Annabeth nodded. “Mr D isn't, though, called to Olympus for who knows what.” Turning to Hazel, she added, “It’s better that he’s not here, actually.”

“He’s not that bad,” Nico argued. “He’s an acquired taste.”

“I’ve been here for eons and I haven’t acquired shit,” Annabeth stated. Realizing she sounded scornful, she said in a softer tone. “But then again, perhaps we’re just incompatible people.”

Hazel had absolutely no clue who they were speaking about. Somebody important enough to be called to Olympus so not someone she’d speak of so lightly as Annabeth had. Of course, she was evidently a seasoned veteran of demigodness, and Hazel’s only life achievement had been to almost destroy the world. Different standards, she supposed.

“I’ve promised Clarisse I’d spar with her.” Annabeth interrupted Hazel’s thoughts. “But welcome to Camp, Hazel! Don’t let Nico show you that crappy orientation video.”

She ran off just as Nico retorted a whiny, “Oh, come on! It’s brilliant. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Nico opened the Big House’s door and waited for Hazel to go in.

The place was quiet, old-fashioned, and had walls that needed repainting.

Nico led her to a room in the back of the place, it had big windows facing the valley.

There was a man sitting in a wheelchair —presumably Chiron—, reading a blueprint that showed what appeared to be a temple. 

He looked up as Hazel and her brother went into the room.

“Nico, an unexpected surprise!” Chiron said. 

His eyes focused on Hazel. His friendliness vanished in an instant. His small but amicable smile turned into a hard frown, and he gripped the table in front of him tight enough for his knuckles to turn white.

“You should be dead.”

Hazel felt faint, she was vaguely aware of Nico taking a step back, putting himself between Chiron and Hazel.

She swallowed. “How— How do you—?”

But before Hazel could finish talking, Nico said sharply, “What do you mean?”

Chiron pushed the wheelchair away from the table and stood.

No, he didn’t stand up. Hazel —amidst her discomfort and fear— stared bemused as the chair rolled back as a horse materialized from Chiron’s waist down.

He was a centaur! 

Ignoring Nico’s question, Chiron faced Hazel. “You know what I mean, do you not?”

She caught a difference in his voice but didn’t have time to consider it as she debated whether to lie or to tell the truth. There seemed to be little point in dishonesty, the centaur had caught on to their charade inconveniently fast. Could he read minds, Hazel wondered? 

She nodded slowly.

“Wait,” Nico held up his hands. “Are you speaking Latin? What are you, a Catholic priest?”

Chiron looked back at her brother. “Where did you two meet?”

“The Lotus Hotel,” Nico said quickly. “I was searching for clues about my family and I ran into her.”

“Are you sure about that?” The centaur insisted.

Nico huffed. “I know you don’t trust me much, but I—”

“It’s okay, Nico,” Hazel stopped him. “He knows.”

Her brother looked between her and Chiron. Realizing, perhaps, that their game was lost, he sighed.

“I can explain,” he said.

“I sure hope so,” Chiron told him, and Hazel didn’t think the chastising undertone was all that necessary. “There’s a reason why Greeks and Romans have been kept separated for centuries. I should like to know what gave you the impression that it was a good idea to bring one of them here.”

That disoriented Hazel. By her brother’s expression, he wasn’t following the conversation either, but she could also see a gleam of relief in his eyes.

“Roman?” Nico inquired. “Like, an Ancient Roman demigod?”

“I’m not from Ancient Rome,” Hazel argued. “I died in 1942!”

Nico shook his head as a warning, but the damage had been done.

“Died!” Chiron cried. 

He glared at Nico, who in exchange took a step closer to him, and put up what Hazel had baptized ‘the diplomat smile’. Fake as plastic, and not yet convincing in the face of a 12-year-old.

“What have you done?” Chiron demanded. “And don’t lie to me, son of Hades.”

“How about,” Nico offered in an almost-calm voice. “We sit down, you tell us what you mean about Hazel being Roman, and then we share the whole story of how we met?”

Chiron looked exasperated. 

“Gods above!” He muttered.

“Actually,” Nico rebutted. “It’s the gods below we should be blaming for this whole thing.”

“I imagine your father has no idea of your… rescue operation.” Chiron speculated.

“I’d be terribly grateful if you didn’t enlighten him,” Nico said. 

Chiron let out a long, exhausted breath.

“Let’s sit down,” he agreed. “We’ll talk. Then we’ll decide what we do from here.”

[mychlapci]

Starsceam and Blades were together before the war and during the academy days, they were freaky before.

They did some nasty stuff together but loved each other, then blades was stuck in stasis blah blah que much much worse and meaner Starscream.

(I'm a sucker for smut & fluff, I admit it. )

definitely not common knowledge 2 the other bots.

- Blades obsessed anon :3 - 🎀 -

Ooh, nice. You know, I always had a bit of a joke headcanon that Blades is the oldest of the rescue bots. My reasoning is simple: It would be very funny.

And it makes for a perfect chance for him to have known Starscream for a while, and gotten cozied up to him too. Starscream was his mean girlfriend that always reminded the server that, um, excuse me, he asked for no pickles.

But onto the serious stuff. Blades meeting Starscream again after all those years and his panels are gushing. I think it turns him on that Starscream has become even meaner and more pushy. Blades comes back home covered in scratch marks and limping a little because you know Starscream pulled out that barbed seeker spike and made his little helicopter scream.

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Brackets + Participants Masterlist

Have you ever thought who is the JERKIEST and MOST LOVEABLE MEAN BLOND ASSHOLE?? Well then this is the tournament for you!

read this if you're new

complete list under cut. the order of images does not reflect matchups.

Champagne Bracket (alphabetized by media)

Sakyo Furuichi from A3! Act! Addict! Actors! Kristoph Gavin from Ace Attorney Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (musical) Clotted Cream Cookie from Cookie Run Yoshiki Kishinuma from Corpse Party Jiwoo from Dandelion - Wishes Brought To You - Byakuya Togami from Danganronpa Hiyoko Saionji from Danganronpa Eichi Tenshouin from Ensemble Stars Nazuna Nito from Ensemble Stars Karin Sauer from Fear and Hunger Rufus Shinra from Final Fantasy Zenos yae Galvus from Final Fantasy XIV Sharpay Evans from High School Musical Vace from I Was a Teenage Exocolonist Natsume Minami from Idolish7 Cindy from Kindergarten Felix from Kindergarten Larxene from Kingdom Hearts Kromer from Limbus Company Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat Mikhael / THE MAVERICK from OMORI Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5 Bede from Pokémon Sword and Shield Oleana from Pokémon Sword and Shield Babette from Raggedy Ann and Andy A Musical Adventure Haley from Stardew Valley Joshua Kiryu from The World Ends With You Clownpiece from Touhou Project: Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom Vil Shoenheit from Twisted Wonderland Camus from Uta no Prince-sama Ryuji Goda from Yakuza Honey Bracket (alphabetized by media)

Andrew Minyard from All for the Game Mean Generic Golden Retriever from Anon Ask (link) War from Bonus Links AU by @bonus-links Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes Richard Lazarus from Doctor Who MacKenzie Hollister from Dork Diaries Ryusui Nanami from Dr. Stone The Blond "weird sister"/"bride of dracula" from Dracula Arte Ente Conchita from Evillious Chronicles Dave Strider from Homestuck Dirk Strider from Homestuck Trophy from Inanimate Insanity Emma Frost from Marvel Comics (usually X-men titles) Brittnay Matthews from Most Popular Girls in School Ambrosius Goldenloin from Nimona (comic) Danburite “Danny” Skinner the OC of @porcelain-animatronic Rose Thorburn Jr. from Pact (art by @wraith_ly on twitter) Brandish/Carol Dallon from Parahumans (art by @cpericardium Glory Girl/Victoria Dallon from Parahumans (art by @cpericardium) Goddess/Bianca from Parahumans (art by raikiri on reddit) Tattletale/Lisa Wilbourn from Parahumans (art by monkeyjay on reddit) Shaka from Saint Seiya  Thranduil from The Hobbit Achilles from The Illiad (art by ancient greek polychromatic pottery painter c. 300BC) Ianthe Tridentarius from The Locked Tomb (art by @starcanist) Dorian Gray from The Picture of Dorian Gray Adam Parrish from The Raven Cycle Rachel from Tower of God Arlo from Unordinary Mathis Quigley Sr. from Unsounded Benedict from Violet Evergarden Linton Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights

Platinum Bracket (alphabetized by media) Brad Morton from American Dragon: Jake Long Biff Tannen from the Back to the Future Trilogy Patriarchy!Ken from Barbie Howard Hamlin from Better Call Saul Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer  Johnny Lawrence from Cobra Kai/Karate Kid Daring Charming from Ever After High Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller's Day Off Zap Brannigan from Futurama Joffrey from Game of Thrones Gideon from Gravity Falls Heather Chandler from Heathers Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold Simon from Infinity Train Dee Reynolds from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Cindy from Jimmy Neutron Ankh from Kamen Rider OOO Villanelle from Killing Eve Regina George from Mean Girls Arthur Pendragon from Merlin Skwisgaar Skwigelf from Metalocalypse Chloé Bourgeois from Miraculous Ladybug Steff McKee from Pretty in Pink Angelica Pickles from Rugrats Gunther and Tinka Hessenheffer from Shake It Up Prince Charming from Shrek Bartleby Montclair from Sonic Underground Illya Kuryakin from The Man From UNCLE (2015) Lyle Lanley from The Simpsons Tom "Iceman" Kazansky from Top Gun Julia from Total Drama / Total Takes Flash Thompson from Ultimate Spider-Man Strawberry Bracket (alphabetized by media) Lilith Bristol from Absolute Duo Rio from Assassination Classroom  Mello from Death Note Beelzebumon from Digimon Tamers Laxus Dreyar from Fairy Tail Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist Char Aznable from Gundam Kei Tsukishima from Haikyuu!! Shaiapouf from Hunter x Hunter Anzu Futaba from Idolm@ster: Cinderella Girls Dio Brando from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Isobe from Kamisama Kiss Nozomu Nanashima from Kiss Him Not Me Hanazawa Teruki from Mob Psycho 100  Katsuki Bakugo from My Hero Academia Neito Monoma from My Hero Academia Arcangelo Corelli from Neo Yokio Cavendish from One Piece Donquixote Doflamingo from One Piece Sanji from One Piece Panty Anarchy from Panty and Stocking Nanami Kiryuu from Revolutionary Girl Utena Jadeite from Sailor Moon Zoisite from Sailor Moon Akagi Ritsuko from Shin Seiki Evangelion Sofia from Space Dandy Kuusuke Saiki from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K Ryou Shirogane from Tokyo Mew Mew Sylvio Sawatari from Yugioh Arc V Malik/Marik Ishtar from Yugioh Duel Monsters  Mizael from Yugioh Zexal Yuri Plisetsky from Yuri on Ice The brackets are based on the type of media they are from. It isn't perfect but I think that is okay. I was thinking of posting all the initial matchups, but I've decided I don't want to change them as they are now and I also want them to be surprises.

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

Anon linked to a fundraiser for thewalrus-said, whose kitty Pickles recently passed, and who has taken on debt from the veterinary bills at a time when they also need to fundraise to move cross-country for work. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here and also find purchase info for their queer romance novels here.

Buy Stuff, Help Out:

queerdo-mcjewface is selling a pair of American Vintage high heels on eBay to raise money for the Halo Trust, which removes land mines from former war zones and advocates for their abolition. You can check them out here! (As of the writing of RFM they had not yet sold, I checked.)

News to Know:

I actually sourced this myself but thought people might like to be aware of it -- funkittoys is a small business selling unique and sustainably-made sex toys, including a toy called the "NoFrillDo" designed to be particularly affordable. They came to my attention via a post about their "sliding scale" nofrilldos, which are a $14-minimum but otherwise pay-what-you-can toy; those are currently sold out but come back into stock occasionally, and I felt the spirit of the shop was well worth a namedrop on RFM. I can't speak to the toys themselves, I don't own one, but I wanted to shout-out a fellow small business trying to make pleasure affordable for everyone.

Recurring Needs:

sir-tailypoe linked to a fundraiser for tul1pmania, who is trying to escape an abusive marriage and needs short-term funds for moving expenses and repair to a wheelchair, which broke right before his planned moving date. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

nivchara-yahel and rivalconga are disabled queer siblings with ongoing support needs; they are raising funds for help covering housing, food, and medication for chronic illnesses while one looks for from-home work and the other applies for SSDI. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here. They also have a graphic you can post to your own socials for fundraising.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[thepicklegifter]

Bro how did I ever get an evil opposite version of me. @thepicklestealer, when did you spawn? Have you always existed or did you just kinda pop into existence?

... Also, where are you? I've cleaned and organized the room I keep my stash in like fifteen times now waiting for you to get here so I can like... Battle you for it or whatever. Do I need to give some hints out...? I prepared all these really cool defenses and everything...

(no but seriously mod creature here I am so amused by the fact that my silly guy has inspired someone to make an opposite version, and every time I'm reminded of that fact my day gets a tiny bit better lol /p)

[tomionefinds]

Hi! Could you recommend fics that feature Tom with trauma? Preferably long fic with a happy ending, but I understand this might not be a popular concept(it's usually only Hermione with trauma) so I'll be grateful with whatever you can find. Thank you!♡♡

Hi Anon:

As you said this is not always a terrible popular trope and I certainly don't read it so I can't speak as if these are going to be up your alley but they have Tom going through it. You might want to look at our Tom: Redeemed tag -Haus

Ultima Ratio by Winterblume M| Complete | 737k

Ultima ratio - the last resort. At last the day of the Final Battle against Lord Voldemort has come. Harry, Ron and Hermione fight bravely against their nemesis - but then something goes wrong. And Hermione finds herself alone in a precarious situation.

Jagged by hiccupfound

E | Complete | 151k

He’s not like what she learned about. Not how Harry described him from the Pensieve.

Have You Ever by Lady Moonglow

T | Complete | 180k

With the war looking bleak, the Golden Trio, Ginny, Draco, and Lavender go back to Tom Riddle's 7th Year to destroy Lord Voldemort once and for all. What Hermione DIDN'T count on, however, is a shared common room, a curse, and a crazy little thing called love.

*****

Edit:

Perhaps the following

Experiment of the Mind by NerysDax

T | Complete | 17k

Healer-Trainee Hermione Granger finds herself in a pickle when confronted with a most troublesome patient.

[indigitalembrace]

heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy shrimpy  ~ <3

what the heck is up my good buddy. my homeslice. my compadre. frendo.

its ya gurl. Goblin anon postin from another pc. dont blow this one up, k? gotta support ya local public libraries they cant afford to buy new puters. be considerate and keep in mind all these people here who want to use the pcs too hmm?

look, shrimpy, I get ittttt. not everyone can avoid being sad an lonely friendless loser. makin real friends can be hard! but I think u should direct all that energy to somthin a bit healthier, yeah? like making friends with chat gpt. safer and requires less anxiety. seriously thou, go see a therapist or somthin. the robot uprising hasnt actually happened yet u dont need to devote urself to an ai overlord.

i mean. u really handing out invites to the future corpse party on their behalf, huh? tut tut. kiiinnddddaaaa irresponsible, no? or mabbe u dont care?

well thats a bit of a pickle. because you got my little sister involved you maladjusted socially stunted freak.

it will be a pain to replace my hardware, yeah. but I do in fact back up my crap to external drives. u did win this battle. ill give u that. but i will win the war.

i coming for you shrimpy and ill have you and that manipulative little pink toad heads on a pike.

(btw: if u see this mr axolotl, if u try any supernatural bullcrap with me Sec will *know*. no matter how much she likes you she will never forgive u for hurting me. she will Know it was u. and she will disown you. dont wanna lose another “friend” now do u?)

ok good talk! was wonderful catching up with yall :) have a nice day lovelies! ~

Goblin Out ^_^

{you have logged off publibpc3}

[YOU'VE GOT MAIL!] To: 🦐 From: Goblin

[the12thnightproject]

Can I have a request for the Warlords reaction to an MC who has culinary skills like from the anime "Food Wars"? (Just in case you're not familiar with it, its an anime about cooking. Really fun to watch. There are clips on Crunchyroll and Youtube). I know that when the Warlords would dig into MC's food, their kimonos would fly off (its part of the show-if a meal is SO good, clothes would fly off- sans under garments).

Hope this is a good one! 🍛🥙

Hi Anon!

Thank you for the ask - I wasn't familiar with the anime, but I did find some youtube clips, which were helpful...

An MC whose cooking is so good it causes spontaneous random acts of nudity and flying kimonos…

Nobunaga: (Is caught raiding the kitchen for leftovers) Hideyoshi, “My lord, haven’t I told you to stop eating sweets late at night?”  Nobunaga, “I’m just getting a glass of water.” Hideyoshi, points to the kimono hovering near the ceiling. “Uh huh.”

Hideyoshi: First experience of MC’s food was on a picnic. Won’t be making that mistake again. Still has flashbacks (emphasis on flash) of creeping back into Azuchi, holding the picnic basket in front of his … picnic basket.

Mitsuhide: Sadly, Mitsuhide’s lack of tastebuds means that he cannot experience MC’s food the way everyone else does. But that just means he can have fun secretly feeding MC’s cooking to random people (Hideyoshi) at random (inconvenient) times and laughing when their (Hideyoshi’s) kimonos fly away.

Masamune:  Wants to learn MC’s cooking secrets. Learns MC’s cooking secrets. He and MC spend happy hours in the kitchen, tasting as they cook. Both have some rather… intimately placed burn scars. Neither cares.

Ieyasu: Doesn’t think MC can possibly make food hot enough for him. Learns lesson when kimono doesn’t just fly off him – it spontaneously combusts.

Mitsunari: Devours an entire dish while reading. Doesn’t notice loss of kimono. Walks around naked for several hours before Hideyoshi finds him and throws a haori over him. Thinks that he possibly forgot to get dressed this morning? (It… wouldn’t be the first time).

Keiji:  Upon discovery of the properties of MC’s food, perfects a magic act that culminates in the entire audience losing their clothes at once.

Ranmaru: Is such a wee sprite that when his kimono flies, it carries Ranmaru with it. They call him “The Flying Bun.” Is now a regular feature of Keiji’s magic act.

Kennyo:  Eats the food. Presumes his kimono has entered a higher plane of existence.

Motonari: Philosophical conundrum. MC’s food is the only food aside from his own that he is willing to eat, however nudity on a pirate ship is neither safe nor sanitary.

Kicho: “No thank you. I’m not hungry right now. I’ll do take out – I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept of takeout aren’t you, Future Girl?”

Kenshin: Why eat food when there are pickled plums to be had? Can you make pickled plums, MC? Upon discovering that MC can indeed make pickled plums, and what happens to him when he eats them, he puts MC in the dungeon, so that she will only make pickled plums for him, and to protect her from naked warlords.

Kanetsugu:  “What did you do to Lord Kenshin, MC? I’m sorry but your cooking is TOO dangerous. We’re going to have to banish you. What’s this? Mochi? Well… perhaps just a taste…”  *poof*

Shingen:  “Let’s feed each other.”

Yoshimoto:  As he is unphased by casual nudity, and likes good food, ends up spending a lot of time walking around the castle naked, and startling the maids.

Yukimura: Stop feeding people! It’s winter! What, are you crazy? We can’t walk around Kasugayama naked. We’ll freeze to death. And stop staring at me! It only appears small because I’m cold, dummy.”

Sasuke: “Fascinating…” designs a series of randomized double blinded experiments with different dishes to compare the trajectory, velocity, and total distance travelled of flying kimonos.

@mllorei

[thecomicallytragicgangle]

Apparently there's a pickle stealer anon now who has sworn a war with me or something. I give people pickles for fun, but I am determined to keep my stash a secret from this person in particular. I must know whose side you reside on.

-Pickle anon

theres. theres a what anon???..

I suppose- i've known you way longer than them, so i suppose i'm on your side!..

..is this person going to like, attack me or something? or what?..

[sunflowercider]

speaking of the white cavalry i know sir blanc said he'll give his loyalty to lloyd in a roundabout way but lloyd said to be careful with his words during the dead matsodons attack...

which brings me who do you think they sided with during the fourth ending spoiler where the queen waged war when she bace a bit crazy/paranoid

DELICIOUS ASK ANON, SO FUCKING DELICIOUS.

Damn. Damn. If I wanted to waste a few hours or days, I would sketch out entirely what I think happened politically and geographically in the fourth spoiler. While that future ends incredibly horribly, the lead up to it? Im so sorry, destiny writes some good stories (´-ω-`)

Anyways. Specifically about the white cavalry. After the dead mastadons attack kills 6 of the cavalry, Lloyd feels terrible. He feels it's only right to treat their remains with incredible care and respect, send a letter to the queen telling their tales as flowery as possible to help their loved ones get cared for in their absence, and build a memorial stone for them. Lloyd takes their lives (and the loss of them) gravely seriously. And Sir Blanc is moved nearly to tears.

This is a man who has been quite literally treated like a chess piece in others' wars. And here's some random noble who simply had an unpredictable skirmish with monsters, not even a proper battle, and treats their lives like precious gold. Sir Blanc, in his heart, wants to follow Lloyd (and I imagine the others in his group feel the same).

Lloyd may have roundaboutly turned him down but. The cavalry is still here you know.

When the queen loses her mind, there's first a civil war between those who support and those who oppose her. The Fronteras technically pick the side supporting her, but remain neutral otherwise. This is the most uncertain part for the cavalry. They could get called by the queen during this time, but my hunch is that the Fronteras' status quo is kept, as they are still technically an area of growth for the Cremona region, as well as a stronghold with the apartment fortresses. Leaving the cavalry with the County would make sense; theyre an important military group, but only a part of the queens forces. However, if the cavalry gets called at that moment, they will follow her. They are still loyal to the queen, they just also want to follow Lloyd... and hey, he's technically supporting her.

Now. If the cavalry stay at the Fronteras until the queen makes the error of attacking a peaceful foreign country and Lloyd opposes the decision? Oh ho hoooo thats a whole different ballgame.

The first civil war actually ended before that. Once the queen wins that, she attacks the Benetto Kingdom as a way to consolidate her nobles. (You know, similar to what the Sultan wanted to do?) Lloyd opposes when he hears - he built the route to Benetto for trade, not military. Then the next civil war begins.

HOW does the White Cavalry respond here?? What a pickle, what a pickle. There's no more pretending the queen and Lloyd stand aligned. There's a choice to be made. They're originally loyal to the queen but... she recently killed many nobles (and their armies) for reasons that were never justified properly, and then attacked and took control of a peaceful kingdom. You know, the cavalry helped build the mountain pass too. They have some pride.

In the face of all this, despite the fierce loyalty of a knight to their ruler... I think the White Cavalry would have to cave and join the Fronteras. I think they'd have a fierce internal fight about it, and they wouldn't be very happy about the choice either way. But Lloyd has shown his good nature many times over, while the queen has failed spectacularly. They know who is right.

But even if the White Cavalry did join the queen again due to knightly loyalty reasons, i think they would take the scenic route home. After all. Lloyd won the fight within 10 days. They can afford an unusually long walk back to the capital.

[yandere-writer-momo]

Monster F-er Anon

Hey Momo, I have a few ideas I want to share with you for some Yandere OCs and some Baki Ideas if you want to talk about them (My mind is currently full of Rot)

Yandere OC Story Lists (That I think would interest you the most)

1. Yandere Grand Duke/General x Artist!Darling

2. Yandere Noble x Acrobat!Darling

3. Yandere Single Father x Teacher!Darling

4. Yandere Assassin Husband x Secretary!Darling (Of their Target) x Yandere Assassin Wife (✨Drama✨ and potential Smut 🌶️)

5. Yandere Emperor x Autistic!Darling (This one I wouldn’t mind talking more about to explain my reasoning)

Baki Stories List (That I think you might like, they’re mainly ideas for Valentine’s Day)

1. Valentine’s with Kaoru

2. Continuation of Tug-o-War (Smut 🌶️)

3. Aerial Silk Performer!Darling x Katsumi (Childhood Friends)

4. A WLW AU (That’s very, VERY Loosely based off Shrek) or some headcannons of something else with WLW

5. Pickle x Scientist!Darling x Yarem

I did have a single father Yandere idea brewing in the back of my head (I feel like you’re inside my brain sometimes).

And a shrek… a shrek wlw 😭😂😂 what

[real-sun-wukong-fan01]

Hi it's headcannon anon back again!

WUKONG

1. he enjoys weird food combinations such as pickles and ice cream, peanut butter, jelly and cheese and chips and ice cream purely because they remind him of certain fruits or veggies that don't exist anymore

2. Despite living in a cave, he hates spiders and snakes. He doesn't know why it might be the many eyes or the feeling of scales but he doesn't like them

3. He at one point had a crush on change'e purely because of her cooking. He refuses to admit it though and Macaque teases him for it

4. Wukong enjoys brushing out mks hair or fur now? He considers mk to be his son or grandson and enjoys feeding him as well.

5. Used to bathe in hot springs and pretend to be a woman because he was uncomfortable with human males.

MACAQUE

1. He enjoys foods from north and south America because they are bitter, such as salsa, pickles, war heads and others

2. He sleeps with his back to the wall, he doesn't trust someone not to creep up on him after what happened in his life

3. He likes to draw a lot, will often times leave mk drawings on his front door as a gift to show affection.

4. Macaque dyes his fur, it was white but he dyed it black to look cool and edgy or he glamours it up because he is edgy

Also if you reveal one secret about yourself I'll reveal who I truly am, aka my true account on the next post----- sincerely headcannon anon 📜

EVERYBODY CALM HEADCANON ANON IS HERE

- alone, he hates all of those foods, maybe he enjoys some, like pickles or ice cream, but together? They remind him of such good dishes he had back in the day! Has to hide it because if he doesn't they'll call him weird. (He is, but come on.)

- he has a feeling it's because of the many demons related to those animals he fought.

- unlike Zhu bajie, he didn't propose, he simply waited until it cooled down.

- any monkey is his child now.

- he still is uncomfortable with human men, but now he has a shower.

---

- he loves spicy food. Can't say the same for wukong.

- somehow Wukong manages to prank him even from the front. He is no safe.

- he loves to draw because of sun wukong, but there's his own passion in it too. He wishes he was as good as wukong though.

- Wukong called him emo and he still doesn't know what does that mean.

A secret?

I hava a platonic bf.