#pica post

[itwasntaphase]

Strange Sensations I crave:

1: taking my spine out and wringing it real good so it cracks every area and helps the pain (fuck scoliosis)

2: taking my eyes out and putting them into a glass of cold water (refreshing for dry eye)

3: Take my skin off and give it a very good scrubbing and moisturizing (no more itchy eczema)

4: taking my brain out and deep cleaning it then soaking it in an ice bath (I'm convinced this would cure my migraines)

5: Scratching behind my eyes (they are often itchy)

7: eating my many pica cravings without it causing issues (i.e. sand, foaming soap, decorative bar soap)

8: taking my muscles apart and soaking each one in a warm bath and then giving it a deep massage (bye bye achy body)

9: Pulling my sinuses out and rinsing them thoroughly (I think it would help my allergies)

10: removing my bottom jaw to give me a break from my TMJ for a while (self-explanatory)

Please reblog this and add yours so I know I'm not crazy in wanting these things. My therapist says these are symptoms from my OCD so that's fun.

[astro-eats]

Sigh part two cuz I did it again (tw again obviously)

my last post (the vent turning into yuri where I vent through cartoon character) was unfinished so I'm making another. Right now we left off on zooble trying to get Gangle to confess what was up with her. Ok guys :3

Gangle shifted uncomfortably in their arms. She really didn't want to talk, but zooble kept pushing.

Zooble: "Gangle?"

Gangle: "... Yeah?.."

Zooble: "You know you can tell me anything, right? We're literally dating and I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything."

Gangle: "Some things go better unspoken of..."

Zooble: "Not with me. I'm right here for when you're ready to talk... Are you ready yet?"

Gangle:."You won't judge me or get angry?"

Zooble: "I promise I wont."

Gangle sighed. This was a hard conversation to have with anyone. Especially when (worst case scenario) it could end in the two breaking up. It was just a thought though. But it still bothered Gangle that that may be a possibility.

Gangle: "I.. Ugh... I have this.. Thing..."

Zooble: "Go on.."

Gangle: "I- ugh!- I force myself to throw up! Ok?!"

Gangles body language changed. She was grabbing zoobles wrist tightly now. It was mostly to keep her grounded and comfortable. Zoobles face looked.. Concerned to say the least. They gently took her hand off of their wrist, having a lot to say.

Zooble: "Gangle. That's unhealthy. You can't do that anymore. That's really bad. That's an eating disorder. You need to stop. I- Why would you-? Why would you do that? That's honestly the stupidest thing you've ever done! You- Gangle I'm really ma- upset. I'm upset at you. Why did you do that?"

Gangle: "I.. I just..- I wanted to like.. I don't know.. I feel guilty when I eat.. Its hard to explain..!"

Zooble: "... You know.. you're beautiful. You really are. Don't do this to yourself."

Beautiful was a strong word. It could be used to describe many things. Scenery, a painting, a person, but Gangle felt the word didn't fit her. She isn't the type of person you would imagine when you imagine 'beautiful'. She was ribbons and a mask.

Gangle: "No I'm not zooble. Dont lie to me just to make me feel better."

Gangle had a serious tone. Her voice was different when she was serious.

Zooble: "Gangle."

They grabbed her 'waist' and pulled her against them. She was surprised.

Zooble: "You're beautiful."

Gangle: "But i-!"

Zooble: "You're beautiful."

Gangle: "Zooble i-!"

Zooble: "You're beautiful. You can't change my mind."

Gangle: "... Frick you..."

Zooble would have been smiling if they didn't lack a mouth. Gangle relaxed into their arms. Her favorite place. Zooble leaned down and whispered into where her ear would be.

Zooble: "You're beautiful.."

Gangle wasn't good with compliments, especially how to respond to them, but she really did appreciate it.

Ok guys I'm done cuz I'm tired so enjpy this stuff ig uh I might be getting that seasonal depression again :3 it comes when school starts :(

[askharpymonet]

@talesofmetalandmagic

[rainbowlack]

how about you watch this video of a magpie stretching and preening itself right on my porch and maybe you'll feel better

[dollydoee]

I need to stop eating my hair/pulling it but also nom nom nom

[3-heartstyle]

Llorona's relations w/ The Donquixote Family

For the most part, she's the only member of the crew that Doffy forced her to join. Her role of the crew is their treasurer because of her background of being a jeweler. Layla's "loyalty" is rooted in her fear of dying but she still has a bit of fondness for some members.

Doflamingo

She is absolutely terrified of Doflamingo

Won't look into his eyes since the first escape attempt gave her the tear tattoos on her face

She's aware that the only reason he wants her in the family is because of her devil fruit

Tries to avoid him as best as she can but it's difficult since he seeks her out

In Doffy's perspective, he has a sense of nostalgia of owning a slave as a celestial dragon

Mix in his mommy issues and you get uncomfortable interactions

Corazon

She's so confused by this man, they might be friends?

One moment he's cold and distant then suddenly he's attentive and surprisingly sweet???

Hates the fact that he hits the kids but knows she can't stop him

When it's just them together he shows that he has a sense of humor and can get her to laugh

Her reflexes have gotten better with his clumsiness

In Corazon's perspective, he knows he can't get her out without Doffy hunting her down so he tries his best to make her life less miserable

He finds her normalcy comforting and seeks her company when he's tired of everyone else

He does freak out internally when he realizes he fell for her and tries to hide it (beats himself up out of guilt)

Giolla

She finds her very... Eccentric...

This "friendship" is very much just her agreeing to Giolla's taste in art and crafting her "unique" taste of jewelry

Llorona does appreciate that there's another woman in the group

There is a hidden feeling of resentment towards her since it was Giolla's decision to take her in

In Giolla's perspective, she adores having another artist in the group

Loves having to pick out her clothes (with Doffy's input) and dresses her up like a doll

Appreciates the helping hand in taking care of the children

Senior Pink

She finds him one of the most normal out of everyone

At some point she pinpointed a romantic man underneath that hard boiled exterior

Teases him endlessly and likes to offer advice even if he won't take it (he keeps it cool through it all)

In Senior's perspective: finds her to be too fragile to be in the family, both mentally and physically

He only protects her if it's dire, he'll never let anyone in the family break his demeanor

He does go to her in designing the engagement ring for Russian

Diamante

She finds him extremely irritating

His constant prying and accusations of her relations with Corazon is one thing but also pursuing her? Annoying!

She uses his ego against him to leave her alone but it'll just be temporary and he'll be back at it again!

Diamante's perspective: he likes his women feisty and since her husband is dead it's fine to flirt (like he'd cared anyway)

But he has noticed that Corazon tends to be softer with her, if he's going to claim her then he has to have his fun first

Trebol

Disgusting! Revolting! Hates him and is loud about it

Everything he says gets on her nerves and causes her to lose her composure

Hates his power too! Reminds her of frogs (she hates them too)

Trebol's perspective: finds her outbursts amusing

Only sees her as a source of entertainment and as a weapon

Lao G

She finds him a bit odd but not off-putting

He kind of reminds her of her own grandparents

She enjoys his company and often spends her time just chatting away

His sudden bursts of energy when it comes to the letter G does surprise her from time to time

Lao G's perspective: a soft hearted young lady, maybe too soft hearted

Enjoys the company and finds her to be a well member of the family

Gladius and Pica

She feels like she's walking on eggshells around those two

Knows they're very destructive when they're angry and tries to avoid that as much as possible

If something riles them up, she'll try to calm them down (it never really works)

Gladius's perspective: he finds her bearable until she tries to butt in to calm him down

Pica's perspective: thinks of her like any other member, hasn't caught her laughing at his voice so she's safe for now...

The kids

She adores them!

She enjoys their company and raising them helps fill in the void of losing her son

But feels terrible that they're part of this crew and what they do to them

She wants them to leave and live a normal life but doesn't want to be left alone with these pirates

Baby 5's perspective: loves that she can be of use to someone so nice! Another girl in the group that loves romance too is wonderful to have

Buffalo's perspective: loves having her around! She's so nice and gives them ice cream when they're good

They both never want her to leave :)

Law

She saw her son in Law's eyes for a moment and it freaked her out

Kept her distance for a bit to avoid breaking down in front of him

It broke her heart hearing his story, she thought she has a chance to heal with him only to find out he'll die too

Tries to have Law get close with the other kids so he won't feel lonely

Law's perspective: he assumed that she avoided him because of his disease and hated her for it

When she stopped and tries to be nice with him, only confused and irritated him

Only tolerated her kindness since she's the only adult that doesn't harm the kids

[dorianbrightmusic]

Somewhat Quick Guidelines for How Not to be Triggering to ED-Havers

i'll do a more elaborate version of this some other time, but i have just consumed way too much youtube and i need to get some very mixed feelings out of my system

(tw for some discussion of EDs and the areas these render most sensitive)

Don't equate 'eating disorder' with 'anorexia nervosa'

The most common eating disorders are Binge-Eating Disorder and OSFED – according to Santomauro et al. (2021) and Yasmina and Keski-Rahkonen (2022), OSFED is more common than BED, so yeah. OSFED includes many, many categories in and of itself, including: subthreshold bulimia, subthreshold BED, atypical anorexia, purging disorder, and night eating syndrome. Orthorexia isn't recognised in the DSM-5-TR, but should be. I could not tell you what the most common form of OSFED is – I'd always thought it was atypical anorexia, but some studies I can find on a general population point more to purging disorder, subthreshold BN, subthreshold BED, (see Stice, Marti, & Rohde (2013), while this more recent study in a less reputable journal by Hay et al. (2023) places atypical AN as the most common OSFED. Either way, full-threshold AN is comparatively very, very rare.

Most eating disorders are not becoming emaciated + growing lanugo. If you did become emaciated and grow lanugo, then I'm proud of you for surviving your ED every day, because they are the absolute worst illnesses. However, you are also in a substantial minority. That doesn't make you any less valid—all it means is that EDs aren't necessarily traditional anorexia.

I'll get onto the main difference between atypical and non-atypical AN in a minute, but for now, let's say that even if atypical AN is horrifyingly common, most EDs aren't anorexia of any kind. Most EDs are one of the other kinds. And while good AN rep is great and rare, using 'eating disorder' to mean 'anorexia' is incredibly dismissive of the immense and debilitating of eating disordered behaviour out there. It's limited in the same way as using 'neurodivergent' to just mean 'autism + ADHD' – just as neurodivergence is much, much broader than Au/DHD (and this isn't to detract from the validity of Au/DHD folks), EDs are much, much broader than anorexia, and using 'eating disorder' as a synonym for 'thin and restrictive' is an extremely limited definition.

Moreover, many ED-havers go to immense, immense efforts to downplay their symptoms. The common refrain you'll hear in ED recovery is 'but I'm not sick enough to need help' – and the more narrow the operational definition of ED, the more people are made to feel they aren't sufficiently ill to have a real problem. EDs thrive in secrecy. They are often silent, and they are lethal. By using 'eating disorder' as a euphemism for 'anorexia', we give power to each of these illnesses by letting them remain silent, too macabre and mysterious to acknowledge.

Be specific. Do not talk about someone having 'an eating disorder'. Do not use it as a smokescreen behind which to hide nervousness. Say the exact disorder, or, if unsure, use an adjective: a restrictive eating disorder, an ED with purging, an ED with bingeing, etc.

2. 'Eating disordered' does not mean thin

This goes for all EDs, and especially for anorexia. Argh.

Bulimia is often overweight, and can be any weight. BED can be any weight. ARFID can be any weight. Pica, rumination disorder, night-eating syndrome, and orthorexia can be any weight. Moreover, a thin person with an ED may not have AN—they might have ARFID, BED, BN, or so many more.

And most importantly, most anorexics are not underweight. There exists a diagnostic distinction between AN and so-called atypical AN, wherein the sole difference is that atypical anorexics are not underweight. That's it. That's the one difference.

It's also a completely BS distinction, since ED psychopathology is as bad/worse in atypical AN, and atypical AN recovery rates are marginally worse. The two are the same illness. How thin you are does not necessarily correlate with how restrictive you are, and every use of 'anorexic' as a synonym for 'thin' is indicative of a total misunderstanding of the complexity of this disorder.

Have courage. Give me obese characters with BN and AN, normal-weight characters with BED, characters of all weights with ARFID. Please: I'm outright begging at this point.

3. Sensationalising weight makes us feel, unsurprisingly, fairly awful

Writing eating-disordered characters by focussing on their weight is an excellent way to sensationalise the illness and implant a horrible feeling in audience mouths. If I google search images for anorexia, I will see ribs and spines everywhere. If I google search images for bulimia, I will see extremely thin young women eating pizza or crouched beside toilets. If I google search images for binge-eating disorder, there's no end to the pizza.

There is no definitive size eating-disordered folks are. But the more we see EDs represented in extremes of thinness and fatness—think To the Bone or The Whale—the more we, as a society, convey the message that by not fitting a size mould, people aren't sick enough to have a problem. And that perpetuates the cycle of hiding disordered behaviours and getting thinner.

Making a show of how thin or fat certain characters are is a great way to make people with EDs feel embarrassed either by their similarity to the thin/fat people depicted ('wow, I am disgusting') or by their lack of similarity ('I was never anywhere near that thin. God, I couldn't even succeed at being a failure'). So, please don't emphasise specific emaciated or larger body parts as explicitly indicative of an eating disorder.

4. Please keep the numbers out of this

I don't have the perspective to speak from the POV of those with other disorders, but I can say this much: Anorexia is a very analytical illness—will I be small enough to fit in this space, hold this, do this? —and seeing someone else's minimum weight is an excellent way to make someone feel as if they are a failure for being less thin. This is especially problematic given that 'xxkg lady' is a headline that sells like wildfire in a world where most anorexics aren't thin. I love Hank Green and his work, but the CrashCourse video on eating disorders is an excellent example of how not to handle talking about weight: explicit height/weight numbers are mentioned for the hypothetical sick woman, emphasising the role of emaciation in the illness. It's a bit sensationalist and very triggering.

This is also one of the things Heartstopper (the comic – I haven't watched the show) does right. Though it's not perfect, Charlie's weight is never given a number, and while he's shown to be unhealthily thin, we never get an explicit close-up of any bones or the like. It's other physical symptoms, like fainting and constant coldness, that make it clear that he's seriously, seriously ill. And that took immense, immense tact. Also the fact that later on, after diagnosis, he's explicitly said to have anorexia, rather than the smokescreen of 'an ED', and that he still struggles after he starts recovery... those are all very respectful ways of writing ED-having characters. Alice Oseman, I tip my hat to you.

I'd recommend against mentioning numbers of calories in anything (guess who once scrolled through an ED blog, found out the number of calories in a normal breakfast food, and then was promptly very scared of eating such), or about mentioning explicit amounts of food. Moreover, if you're going to depict a character eating, please do it carefully.

If you want to mention any numbers when writing eating-disordered characters: mention blood pressure, temperature or rate of weight loss/gain (I don't think it's awful to say 'lost/gained this much in this much time), but keep the discourse around rate of any weight change as neutral as possible. If I say I weighed xyz kilograms at my sickest, that doesn't do justice to the illness. If I say my temperature was about 35 degrees and my blood pressure was 59/40, it does, but it's not exactly something that can be made competitive as easily.

5. Don't sensationalise amounts

See above. We don't need to know the explicit number of slices of pizza/bags of xyz/bars of abc that a character consumed during a binge, nor how little a character with a restrictive ED had for breakfast. There is an immense amount of horror that can be engendered through implication. One exception—showing that a character can remember the exact number of whatever food they consumed (so long as this isn't being done in kcal/kj) is an excellent way to show disordered eating behaviour! e.g. I generally count how many water crackers I eat in a snack and have strict (low) limits on how many I'm allowed per day. This is proof AN doesn't go away too quickly.

6. Don't sensationalise weight, generally

This goes out to every time i've seen neuroleptics bashed for having the side-effect of weight gain, but without it being then explained that there are a host of many, many other side effects, most of which are much worse than weight gain.

This goes out to every time I walked out of the ED clinic and saw the Jenny Craig ads across the road.

This goes out to every time I see losing weight promoted as a panacea for every single health condition, including those that cause weight gain.

Showing weight gain in an overly negative light or isolating it when it's one of many, many other things in a category is just tasteless. Please, don't do this.

7. Don't sensationalise kinds of food

Some binge-eaters will never touch pizza or chocolate in a binge. Some anorexics friggin' love chocolate. Don't assume a diagnosis necessarily means one will have or lack a sweet tooth.

8. Setting up ground for comparisons is... worrisome

We probably don't want to know the specifics of someone's diet, clothing size, or any of the like. When handling EDs, please don't focus on the specifics of what someone consumes or how large/small they are.

9. Don't assume EDs are character traits

BN and AN are correlated with perfectionism and harm avoidance, amongst other things, but EDs aren't personality traits. Bingeing is not sloppiness. Restriction is not vanity. Please don't assume these behaviours are indicative of what's in the soul.

10. Please don't focus on white, young, otherwise-neurotypical women

People of all ethnicities, ages, genders, and neurotypes can have eating disorders, natch. There is no single way to look or be eating-disordered.

11. Please don't assume we get better immediately

When you live with an ED, you live with a voice in the back of your head that is constantly vying to hit the self-destruct button. And it isolates you and mimics your own voice, and after a time, it becomes extremely difficult to tell it from your own thoughts. It's being taken over and possessed, semi-conscious, from the inside. It's living in a trance and being made a puppet. It is learned helplessness. It is sewn into the fabric of your thought, your speech, your values. Even before you are acutely sick, you live with it inside you. Learning to survive an ED is learning to live with it beside you—becoming less helpless to the behaviour, but no less aware of the thought for a very long time. Recovery is possible, but it's most certainly not linear, and most certainly a long, long process.

Recovery is not merely the cessation of the behaviour, or weight restoration. It's a disservice to ED-havers to say you can easily get to a point of never having ED thoughts ever again. So know that we are living with our illnesses every day, but that even so, we can move on. Grant us the grace to let us admit we won't always be well, and guide us nevertheless to believing in our own ability to recover.

[thethingything]

why the ever loving fuck am I craving Tums? and those chewable vitamin D and calcium supplements? why does our body want to eat fucking chalk??? I literally started taking vitamin D supplements every day recently. if ever there was a time I shouldn't be craving calcium carbonate it is right now

[recovery-ramblings]

you know what i think it’s the most annoying thing about being mentally ill/having learning disabilities is that like you tell people that your brain doesn’t work the same way as theirs and that like you actually don’t understand things the same way and your actions don’t always mean what they assume and you go hey when you do this i interpret it like this so could you maybe do more clarification but like it actually doesn’t occur to most people that your brain can work differently like ik it’s annoying and confusing but guess how it is for me

you know it’s even more frustrating when the person is also neurodivergent but they only consider their neurodivergent perspective and the neurotypical one they’ve learnt like…. there are more than two ways for a brain to work yeah i process things differently than both but i still try to take into account how you interpret things just and then the whole of you didn’t think of it one of these two ways then you’re lying or something the amount of times i’ve been told im malicious because i interpreted something wrong is wild because sometimes i notice too many things and sometimes none of the things

like heck i once had someone get angry at me for not noticing then because i dissociated which was a weird experience cuz obviously i don’t really understand ughhh

like yeah okay i’ve done a lot of really shitty things im not denying that it would be nice for once to explain myself without being accused of lying or talking circles around people just because i don’t think how you do

[tensleepshrike]

MILLIE AND SLEEP/DREAMING.

She's a rotisserie sleeper and heatseeker. If you share a bed with her, you can reasonably expect her to roll around the entire night and always have at least one limb draped over you.

Dreams regularly and vividly. Her dreams have occasionally been prophetic in nature but for very mundane events.

Sometimes, while dreaming, enters the Dreamlands, an alternate dimension/reality similar to our own but inhabited by extradimensional beings. She is lucid for these occasions and interacts minimally with her environment, preferring to hide until she wakes so as not to attract any more attention than what she already receives from her progenitor.

When in the Dreamlands, the sleeping vessel she leaves behind on Earth manifests shifting patterns on her skin like those of a dreaming cephalopod. The most common patterns are the vasculature of leaves, raised sigils, and star charts.

Has sleepwalking episodes once or twice a month coinciding with these sojourns to the Dreamlands. She usually ends up pacing around her apartment until she wakes but has been known to make it outside. The furthest she's walked is three blocks away. She can be spoken to in these states but replies in Deep Speech, which has been the ruin of a few good samaritans wishing to help her.

Divinity functions as a somewhat sadistic self-defense mechanism while she is having out of body experiences. Attempts to touch her will result in this happening ( tw for body horror/gore in linked gif! ).

[lilirot]

[WHB]

Sleepy King with a 19.1cm (7.5in, so slightly above average/bigger then Satan's) dick. I'm not surprised they went with Narcolepsy for him lol Makes me wonder how they chose the other's mental illnesses; especially Satan's because his depression really doesn't come up that often (not even potential rage-related side effects of it).

[vraska-theunseen]

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

It’s all “we need to get weirder” and “support mental illness” but when I say I eat my skin sometimes than SUDDENLY everyone’s got a problem with it!

[rainbowlack]

anyway look at this magpie fledgling I saw a few days ago

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

All this hate for show Annabeth is getting really fucking annoying

[picascribit]

The next fic I’m turning my attention to is A Night Off From the War, which is a canon-compliant smutfic I originally wrote in 2014, where Remus/Sirius and James/Lily get high and bang it out. My main issue with the story as it stands is that it’s just not long enough. 3200 words is simply not enough to do justice to the subject matter. The more I think about it, the more I’ve come to realize it’s going to need a full re-write, not just the expansion I originally envisioned. I am also pretty sure it needs to be from James’s POV. The original is mostly Lily POV, but she is largely an observer in the scene, due to her being very pregnant. I feel like there needs to be more focus on James, since he’s the one having first-time queer sex with two of his best friends. I will have to give this some thought, since I more or less headcanon James as demisexual. We’ll see how it goes.