#phlebotomy

[cuties-in-codices]

bloodletting

illustration from the medical-astrological "schürstab codex", nuremberg, c. 1472

source: Zurich, Zentralbibl., Ms. C 54, fol. 40r

[phleb0tomist]

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[oldinterneticons]

I'm not a vampire, I'm a phlebotomist

[cainvstheworld]

The Phlebotomist by Cain Birch

This is a persona poem from the perspective of my phlebotomist (person who draws my blood). It's a bit different than what I normally post on here, but I wrote it for my creative writing class and liked how it turned out.

[Text ID: The Phlebotomist by Cain Birch. The youngest tremble more than the graying, the grayed. Some of the children beg, barter with their parents, howl at the sun as I borrow their blood with a slender needle, but I offer every flavor of lollipop, so their pain is not fruitless. My heart breaks most for the ones whose fathers extract crumpled doctor’s orders from their jangling pockets, whose mothers offer tight smiles as their child squeezes their eyes shut, stilling, accustomed to the burn of the needle. I call out girls’ names into the waiting room and choppy-haired boys follow me into the sterile room, let me slide silver into the tender crooks of their elbows, measuring the hormones in their budding bodies. I call out a man’s name, and a woman with a five o’clock shadow coating her cheeks holds her arm ramrod straight for me. I don’t know how to ask her  what she’d like to be called, whether the “Samuel” in her chart should spell “Samantha” instead, perhaps “Iris” or “Rose.” Instead, I make small talk about the prices of gas, of chicken. I don’t tell her that the fried chicken my husband brings home grows cold by the time I arrive, that I do not turn on the heat in my hatchback even though my car’s engine sputters into the frigid night as I turn the key. I don’t tell her that I chew the tough meat without the microwave’s aid, so my husband’s breath, his still body is molten by comparison when I slide into the sheets next to him, drawing warmth into my bones, pretending the fire between us is more than a fading flicker. He wakes me up before dawn, before leaving to fill in the northeast's endless potholes, fills me up for a few minutes, catches his breath as he slides on his belt, his dirt-caked boots, kisses me with a closed mouth. I lay in the nest of blankets, let my mind slither off to hopeful gardens. In a few weeks, I will call a child’s name for the last time, his ailments healing, his parents glowing with quiet optimism. In a few months, I’ll call a woman’s name, Heather, and she’ll stick out her arm, ramrod straight, beaming. I won’t know what to say, but I’ll smile back at her. /End ID]

[chronicillnesshumor]

[despairtwins]

Bowls like this one were used to catch the blood released by bleeding. The appearance of blood was a useful diagnostic tool for physicians, who examined it for clues about the body's internal state. This large bowl was capable of holding a great deal of blood, but its maker encouraged moderation by stamping "BLEED ME LIGHT" in the basin. (x)

[yikes-ajax]

My mom is studying to become a phlebotomist and I'm so proud of her for that but I CANNOT handle an arm in the drying rack

[cardiomyopathies]

150

[t4transsexual]

how i feel at work getting misgendered by my patients (theyre not being transphobic im just pretty)

[gentleward]

[neherandunasflor]

Vampires familiars are actually phlebotomists who take extra blood to feed to the vampires they work for

[bl00dyprince]

[phleb0tomist]

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[oldinterneticons]

Pfabulous Phlebotomist

[jasperwocky]

>trying to draw patients blood

>don’t know why i’m not in this vein

>call it and decide to try again somewhere else

>patient asks why i’m not poking the big vein in his arm

>”i thought that was a tendon but if people get blood there i can poke there”

>poke “big vein”

>tendon

[chronicillnesshumor]

My phlebotomist is a Stormtrooper. She misses every vein she aims for.