#pet scratch

[soshrimped]

quiet morning

this is what happens postcanon guys trust they all live together happily ever after

[leopardmuffinxo]

Scratch doing the rounds at the tiefling party to get all the scritches

[just-null]

Yknow that pic where that drunk lady kissed lipstick marks all over her cat? All I can imagine is doing this to the clones each time I get home

POINTS AT MY PET AU

[the pic in question!]

[syn0vial]

BG3 Companions' Reactions Following Scratch's Permadeath

The following lines are triggered when a character throws Scratch's ball after he's been permakilled (AKA, killed at camp rather than just as a summon).

Astarion

Good riddance to the dog. Who'd miss that waggy little tail... (devnote: Pretending not to be sad and failing)

Does it have a sad squeak now? Is that even possible?

I suppose I'll just pick it up myself.

Can't believe the stupid dog isn't here to get the stupid ball. (devnote: Pretending not to be sad and failing)

Gale

You were an excellent friend, Scratch - and that's coming from a cat-lover.

I hope there's balls and bones galore, wherever you are...

Poor Scratch. I'm lucky to have met you.

I hope Scratch doesn't miss his ball, wherever he is...

Karlach

I miss my dog.

Here, pup. (devnote: Sadly. The dog is dead and she knows this.)

Why am I doing this to myself?

Scratch should be here. With his family.

Lae'zel

It's not much fun alone.

I really don't know what I thought would happen.

Solo fetch. A miserable pastime.

Can't believe I'm going to say this, but - I miss Scratch.

Shadowheart

I need to stop doing this to myself...

I didn't do this enough, when I had the chance.

I hope Scratch has a new ball to play with, wherever he is...

It's silly... part of me felt like Scratch might still show up for his ball.

Wyll

Fetch isn't much of a solo game.

Damn. I miss the furry fellow.

For old times' sake.

I miss you, Scratch.

Halsin

I hope you are happy, wherever you are.

I am sorry, Scratch

I torment myself - Scratch is not going to come

Poor Scratch. I hope he is at peace.

Jaheira

Enough. This isn't helping anyone.

You deserved better, boy

Gods, but you'd miss the fuss. The noise. Gods above, even the smell.

Pointless, without a pup to chase it.

Minsc

Scratch, come and... oh. How could I forget he was gone, Boo?

No game of fetch will bring Scratch back from death.

I know he is gone, Boo, but... perhaps this is a way of keeping him alive, no?

I miss him, Boo.

Minthara

Everyone assumes I killed the dog. I liked the dog. (devnote: talking to herself. Comic edge to this.)

Scratch reminded me of my first displacer beast. A noble creature.

Withers! Be a good skeleton and fetch that ball. (devnote: joking—doesn't actually expect Withers to fetch the ball she just threw)

Gah. I miss the damn dog. (devnote: surprised by her own feelings)

[sneakingpasta]

11 NEW DANMEI LICENSES AND A FINALE!!!! WE FEAST IN 2025

[serafphim]

he's so cute to me

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[kedreeva]

Aurora!

For those wondering how she's doing, the testing confirmed squamous cell carcinoma. We are continuing some treatment with her, but it's more to keep her comfortable since there won't be any way to get rid of it. I will have to make a decision as it gets close to winter, whether I think she'll make it through another one or whether to let her go while the weather is still nice enough for her to go out on a good day.

But that is a ways off. For now, the sun is shining, the breeze is warm, and the grass (and clover) is coming in as green as ever. There are fruits and seeds and grains and peanuts and bugs to eat, and many happy days left to live and love her. At 16 years old, she still laid an egg today, and if she decides to sit, she might even get to teach one more year of babies how to be as sweet and gentle as she is.

[appropriatelystupid]

señor scratchy senior + señor scratchy junior, probably

[esmiara]

Catzai and Chuunya appreciation day

[angelfoodscake]

ok sure

[kyomon0]

Fantasy AU:

Most wanted, dead or alive, Sorcerer!Obito. (Evil or not so, up to you.) Fun, awesome, amazing.

Except nobody can find the fucking guy. Very few ever get a glimse of him, and frankly, witnesses usually die soon after.

So where is he?

On Kakashi's shoulders. Because he's a cat. He is that grumpy little motherfucker that swipes and hisses at anyone rude to Kakashi. Everyone who's heard of Kakashi has heard of his angry little familiar. Most notably the list of ankle biting victims.

Is Kakashi aware that it's Obito? Mr criminal guy? Probably. Is Obito aware of that? No, probably not.

bonus: when Obito's away doing whatever the fuck, Kakashi likes to talk about him in the same way people talk about their pets with human names. Like a human roommate. But everyone's already aware that Obito (Tobi) is a cat. When people question Kakashi about it, he just looks at them like they're the weird one.

[blu-raes]

HE'S PETTING SCRATCH IM GONNA THROW UP /vvvpos

[a2zillustration]

I love Scratch !!!!!

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[summeringminor]

lil modern au @duesternis & i chatted abt in which they meet in a berlin fetish gay club ⛓️