#personally i think this one came out great so yeah~~

[witherby]

In your littlest wayne au (every time I see that I instinctively think of Lil Wayne the rapper lol) there's a very clearly established relationship between Bruce and Hal. I just wanna know how that came to be in that au, I'm curious? Great stuff btw.

FANTASTIC QUESTION. I didn't give it much thought, I just wanted them to be together, but lemme rub my brain cells around real quick

Ok ok, like all good love stories, it starts with a ✨ near-death experience. ✨

I'm imagining a global threat. Some Darkseid-level shit. It takes some back-and-forth and a lot of dumb luck, but eventually the JL snatches a victory from the jaws of defeat.

There's just a couple straggler enemies left. Hal, wounded and low on juice for his ring, doesn't see a bad guy creeping up behind him, so Batman takes the hit and tackles him to the ground. Hal uses the last of the Ring's power to kill the goon, and now he's powerless and clutching a dying Bruce in his arms.

"It's fine," Bruce mumbles, delirious. "Flesh wound. I'll walk it off, I usually do."

"You're telling jokes!? You're about to die and you're telling jokes!?"

"Yeah." Bruce coughs up some blood. He reaches up to thumb away a few flecks that got on Hal's cheek. "I didn't want to die seeing a frown on your pretty face."

Hal clutches his hand and hitches a wet laugh. "You can't confess your love for me on your death bed now that you won't be around for the consequences. That's such an asshole move."

"I'm an asshole. That's a pretty major facet of my personality."

"It's just as much a mask as the cowl is. Shut up."

Bruce shrugs and smiles. Hal keeps firm pressure on the wound and waits for backup to come and help them. In the nick of time, Clark finds them and whisks Bruce off to get medical attention, and it's really touch and go for a couple days before he wakes up to find Hal looking at him very unimpressed.

"You scared the shit out of me. I think I can be forgiven with a date, though. Really fancy one. Wine and dine me."

Bruce just nods sleepily. "What are you doing tonight?"

"YOU JUST WOKE UP? YOU ARE NOT IN ANY SHAPE TO CASH THAT DATE IN RIGHT NOW?"

"Yeah ok... What are you doing tomorrow?"

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Translation: Chikage SSR Card “Moonlight Illuminated Face” [ True Self in the Light ]

Grown man reaching his 30s acting like a highschooler like we in Riverdale

Part 1

Business Partner

“—That’s why, I would like to reschedule today’s meeting…”

Chikage

Noted. …No, it’s alright, don’t worry about it. I’ll see you by New Year or so. Now, if you’ll excuse me.

(...There’s no more meetings left, guess I’ll just go home for the day.)

Izumi

Chikage-san?

Chikage

Director-san, it’s not everyday we meet up in this kind of place.

Izumi

I’m on my way back, I was watching a show at this theater nearby.

I thought there’d be a chance we’d meet since it’s near your company, I didn’t think it’d actually happen…

Are you still working?

Chikage

No, I’m already on my way home.

Izumi

Then, let’s go together—

[sfx: ‘Moonlight Sonata’]

Izumi

…Was that a piano?

Chikage

Yeah… a street piano, look over there.

Izumi

Woah, it’s wonderful, it’s like something out of a movie.

Chikage

Maybe there’s an event or something. I see it every now and then.

Izumi

…

Chikage

What’s up?

Izumi

No, I feel like I’ve heard this song somewhere before. …What was it again?

Chikage That’s—

Itaru

Ah, it really was senpai and director-san.

Izumi

Itaru-san! Good work today. I didn’t think I’d meet you here too.

Chikage

I met director-san by chance on her way home from the theater, and Chigasaki…

Itaru

I took a walk to the convenience store not too far from here as a change of pace.

Chikage

Lies. It’s another game collab thing, isn’t it?

Itaru

Touché, it’s convenience store lottery.

Chikage

Same difference.

Izumi

But you don’t seem to have much stuff, it looks like you’re just carrying one bag from the store…

Itaru

I had them pack it in a box and send it to the dorm.

Chikage

Just how much did you pull? Don’t go adding clutter at the end of the year.

Itaru

Uh-huh, well since you two are here I’ll go home with you. I’ll drive the car around in a bit.

Chikage

…He ran away.

Izumi

Ahaha…

Chikage

We’re home.

Guy

Welcome back, it’s rare for the three of you to be together.

Itaru

We met by chance near the office—

Azami

L-love talk!? No way in hell am I gonna talk about that!

Misumi

Woah~! Azami’s eyes are triangles—!

Azami

What kind of eyes even are those!? And stop taking pictures, Homare-san!

Izumi

Sounds pretty lively.

Guy

A doll artist Arisugawa knows is coming.

Izumi

The one whose exhibition we helped out before—that doll artist…?

Guy

Yes, the upcoming exhibition is being planned out but they seem to have ran out of ideas after the fourth one.

So Arisugawa invited them to the dorm to see if he could give them a hint or two.

Izumi

I see, so that’s what you meant.

Guy

Seems like Izumida and Ikaruga are the topic of interest right now, they’re being taken reference pictures of in the lounge. Itaru

Senpai avoided an event. Too bad he didn’t capture the flag.

Chikage

Don’t bother putting one up again.

Guy

Looks like they’re just about to leave, why not say hello? Izumi

We definitely should.

…By the way, Guy-san, is it okay for you to not open the bar up? Isn’t it about time it’s opened?

Guy

Actually, I was looking for Mikage, but I couldn't find him.

All that’s left to look at is the rooftop…

Chikage

…Geez, I’ll go take a look.

Guy

Sorry, I know you just came home. If you find him, tell him I’m already on my way.

Doll Artist

Thank you so much for today! I think I can think of a great piece now thanks to you.

For my exhibitions, I’d love to ask for your help in PR again!

Izumi

I’ll let Misumi-kun and Azami-kun know.

Homare

But two people certainly isn’t enough, correct?

Doll Artist

Yes, I would be grateful if there were one more person…

Homare

Perhaps we should ask Hisoka-kun for help once again.

Izumi

Speaking of, Chikage-san was looking for him on the rooftop just now…

Chikage

——.

Hisoka

——.

Homare

Oh my, it appears he has secured him safely.

Doll Artist

Um, the guy in the suit is…

Izumi

Spring Troupe’s Chikage Utsuki.

Doll Artist

…

Izumi

(B-by any chance, do they…)

Part 2

Izumi

That’s it for today’s practice, thank you for your hard work!

Spring Troupe

Good job today.

Izumi

——Ah, Chikage-san. May I have a minute?

Chikage

What is it?

Izumi

Do you remember the usual doll artist that came by the other day for ideas?

Chikage

I do, but…

Izumi

Well… Misumi-kun and Azami-kun were asked to be guides for the next exhibition… As well as an offer to you too, Chikage-san.

Chikage

Me?

Izumi Yup.

Chikage

… Can I ask why? I’m pretty sure we didn’t even meet at all that day.

Izumi

Actually, they were already on their way home when they saw you on the rooftop and got inspired by it.

Itaru

Flag collector lol.

Chikage

I don’t remember it being that way.

Thanks I appreciate it… but considering my age, it’s hard for me to agree to it.

Tsuzuru

With a Gymnasium* school world view, I think Chikage-san would be perfect for the role of a student.

Masumi

Not that different from a Japanese high school setting.

Sakuya

A uniform would look good on you too!

Citron

Guy and I wore it too, so it is A-Okay.

Chikage

… To think my escape route would be cut off completely like this.

Well, since Spring Troupe got me assured then… What the hell, sure.

[ Option 1: Thank you so much! ]

Izumi Thank you so much! Chikage I hope I don’t come in and ruin the worldbuilding. Izumi No way! I think the doll artist would be pretty happy! Chikage Really? I’m not too confident, but… I accepted the role so I’ll do my best.

[ Option 2: Chikage-san as a student sounds fun ]

Izumi I think it’d be fun to have Chikage-san as a student! Chikage Aren’t I a little too old to be a student? Izumi More like, it feels like your calm demeanor adds a level of depth to your role. Chikage Calm, huh… sure let’s just say that.

Izumi

Then I’ll be sending you the character sheet.

Itaru

Now that that’s decided, let’s start role prep right away.

Citron

I shall help too!

Masumi

Why are the two who got nothing to do with it the ones excited?

Chikage

Not excited, but teasing’s more like it.

Tsuzuru

I knew it’d be a bit small.

Masumi

It’s doable.

Itaru No way am I gonna wear this outside.

Chikage

I’m grateful that you’re helping me out with the role study but why am I being forced to wear Azami’s uniform?

Citron

You are playing a highschool student, it is only natural to put a uniform on!

Chikage

From a Gymnasium* worldview, I think a blazer would be better suited than a gakuran uniform.

Before that, isn’t it weird you’re all wearing blazers but me?

Citron

There is a proper setting for that!

Chikage

Setting?

Itaru “A transfer student that wears glasses and pretends to be an honor student but is actually a former delinquent and underground boss of the local scene.” kinda setup.

Chikage

Sigh… you’re too rotted by manga.

Sakuya

But you’re a transfer student with a hidden side to him, that’s so cool!

Tsuzuru

I’m not gonna doubt the two people with the Gymnasium experience.

Masumi

Whatever, just hurry it up.

Itaru

Then let’s go on with that setup.

Chikage

…Yeah yeah, I’ll play a delinquent, right?

Izumi

“G-good morning everyone! Please take your seats!”

Chikage

…There’s really no mistaking director-san’s flavor of acting.

Itaru

She’s like a nervous rookie teacher, it’s not so bad.

Masumi

Sigh… cutie…

Izumi

“Today I’d like to introduce a new student! Utsuki-kun, why don’t you introduce yourself?”

Chikage

“... Sure.”

Izumi

“Everyone, feel free to ask Utsuki-kun any questions you might have!”

Chikage

“Utsuki Chikage. Blood type A. Single.”

Itaru

Oh he’s single all right.

Citron

“When fighting your enemies do you finish off with a kick? Or are you the punching type?”

Tsuzuru

That’s background info, you shouldn’t ask that!

“I have a question! What’s your family like?” Chikage

“I got a younger brother.”

Sakuya

“What’s your favorite food?” Chikage

“...Sweets.”

Masumi

“What about your least favorite?”

Chikage

“...Spicy food.” Tsuzuru

Could he be…

“Umm… What are your hobbies?”

Chikage

“... Bikes and sweets?” Izumi

Bikes and sweets…

Itaru

Are you actually playing Juza right now…?

Chikage

The only Japanese delinquents I know are those in Autumn troupe, and since Yuki calls Juza a “classic delinquent”, I took inspiration from him.

Tsuzuru

So that’s why…

Izumi

If the exhibition character really is a delinquent, maybe his student role will be related to Itaru-san and Tasuku-san’s?

Citron

…Then I have an idea!

Chikage

… Why’d we move to the courtyard?

Citron

You cannot pull any punches here!

Sakuya

Ehh? What do you mean?

Itaru

I got a bad feeling.

Citron

Commence the fighting etude!

Itaru

He’s not letting up.

Citron

Fighting is a delinquent’s signature move!

Chikage

Let’s just get this over with. I don’t really wanna be seen looking like this outside.

Itaru

I feel the same way too, but——Hey, Masumi, stop pushing me so hard.

Masumi

What a pain. Hurry it up.

[sfx: phone buzzing]

Izumi ?

Oh, I got the character sheet from the doll artist!

Part 3

Izumi

Apparently they interviewed Homare-san about Chikage-san and used the info as reference.

Itaru

Homare as the source… this ought to be good.

Tsuzuru

What’s it say?

Izumi

First off it says that the theme will be “Gymnasium at Night”

Citron

The vibe is completely different than last time, how interesting!

Itaru

Definitely a shift in mood.

Izumi

Chikage-san’s setting is… on the surface he’s an honor student who acts as the head of the discipline committee——.

But he’s in cahoots with the student body president… and acts as a shadow ruler who controls delinquents behind the scenes.

Sakuya

Woah, that setting’s cool too!

Itaru

Not too far off. A discipline committee president is a pretty OP character.

Masumi

Really Chikage-like.

Citron

Then the OG Chikage can do it!

Chikage

Homare-san, how the hell did he even talk about me…

Izumi

But it seems like even as a student you don’t have to keep up the delinquent role.

Tsuzuru

Yeah, seems like the bad boy act is trashed.

Chikage

True, rather I’ll be the one doing the sanctioning as a disciplinary officer.

Itaru

Not like it changes much.

Matsukawa

Chigasaki-kun, there’s a delivery for you. This one’s pretty heavy so I’ll just leave it here~.

Itaru

… Oh yeah, from that new game I reserved, it’s the prizes I won from the convenience store raffle.

Chikage

I see, so more clutter for the room. It’s no good to play all night in such a state.

Citron

He is already doing his duty as a disciplinary officer!

Itaru

For real.

Masumi

…Hey, it says here your hobby’s the piano, what now?

Izumi

Ah, it does.

Tsuzuru

Speaking of, I know you can play the violin, how about the piano?

Chikage

It’s not that I’ve never practiced it, though… I’m not confident. I mean, I can at least practice pretending to play it.

Customer A

Going to the gymnasium at night makes me feel nervous.

Customer B I’m getting mystery vibes from it!

Misumi

“Shh! You wouldn’t want the teacher to find out, do you~?”

Customer A

Oh, sorry.

Misumi

“Ahaha, it’s fine.”

“Hey, I can show you a special place, do you wanna come with me?”

Azami

“...Senpai, you dropped your pamphlet.” Customer C

Ahh, thank you…!

Customer D Um, is it okay to ask for a recommendation? I’d like to know what you think…

Azami

“...I don’t mind, but don’t get upset if you find it boring.”

Customer D

Of course!

Azami

“Then… this way please, follow me.”

Chikage

“You there, please button up that shirt of yours.”

Customer E

U-understood.

Chikage

“Hey, it’s dangerous to hurry around, watch your steps carefully and walk slowly, got it?”

Customer F Yessir…!

Chikage

“Good.”

Izumi

(Everyone’s adapting to the worldview well, I wasn’t really worried about Misumi-kun and Azami-kun, and…)

(Chikage-san as a disciplinary officer, his mature and mysterious allure matches the role well.)

(That delinquent student image might come in handy in the future…)

Customer A

That was so fun!

Customer B

I was completely immersed in the world building.

Misumi

“Bye-bye~! Let’s hang out again next time♪”

Azami

“... Here, I grew these flowers myself. Please accept these as souvenirs, take care on your way home.”

Izumi

(Looks like the last of the customers left… And Chikage-san is nowhere to be found…)

Izumi

(Chikage-san, where did you go? I’ve just about searched every room we used…)

[sfx: ‘Moonlight Sonata’]

Izumi

… Sounds like a piano?

(It’s… the same song we heard from the street piano the other day.)

(A piano would be… in the music room.)

Chikage

——.

Izumi

(What a nice song…)

Chikage

“——Oh, teacher, good evening. Looks like I’ve been found out.”

Izumi

(Could this be an etude…?)

(Seems like my role’s a teacher again.)

“...It’s a really beautiful song.”

Chikage

“Aren’t you mad? For someone like me, a disciplinary officer, to be in the music room at night?”

Izumi

“You gave such a wonderful show so I’ll let you off the hook.”

Chikage

“...Thank you very much.”

Izumi

“By the way, what’s the name of the song?”

Chikage

“Beethoven’s 14th Piano Sonata——Moonlight.”

Izumi

(Oh right, so that was the title. It’s relieving to have some clarity on its name.)

(On top of that, despite saying he’s not confident with the piano, he played it pretty well…)

You’re really capable of anything.

Chikage

“You mean with the piano?” “It’s nothing special, this song in particular is difficult for me and I’m not even that adept at it.”

Izumi

(Not adept at it? I don’t think so. I mean, it’s not like he’s… aiming to be a professional piano player, right…)

How can you play the piano then, Chikage-san?

Chikage

“Basic education, really. It’s not something I started because I wanted to. Maybe I did it to be recognized by adults when I was young?”

Izumi

I see…?

Chikage

…Director-san, when did you stop acting as a teacher?

Izumi

Ah! You’re right, it was acting…

Then that means all that talk earlier about the piano was…?

Chikage

Wouldn’t you like to know? I’ll leave it up to Director-san’s imagination.

Izumi

Ugh…

Chikage

…At the very least, it’s true that it’s difficult and I’m not very good at it.

Izumi

Did you practice for your role?

Chikage

Just to be on the safe side. I used this song in practice in the past, so I figured I could do this much.

Well, not much has improved. It’s a relief no one requested a piano performance.

Still, I thought of practicing and it just so happens that there’s a piano here, so I played a bit.

The song’s not exactly my forte.

Izumi

I see. …Then, how about something other than that?

Chikage

Who knows?

Izumi

… Feels like I’m being misled once again.

Chikage

It’s never easy trying to dissect the ‘shadow ruler.’

Story Clear!

———T/Ns:———

Gymnasium in this sense means German for secondary education institution, which is equivalent to highschool in Japan.

[tejvirani]

"No, doesn't have to be only those two things, two options." The first explanations that came to mind, but certainly there could be more. "Alien abduction, hm. May explain the warehouse mimicking food." The food was bland and at this point he'd kill for an actual vegetable, however it wasn't the worst. Complaining to complain. Until the warehouse ceased to be stocked.

"And the small bungalows." His chin lifted as he looked out at the water. "Set us up in an environment that is very Earth-like. You like the afterlife theory too, why?"

When Crystal put it like that, the arrivals disconnected from the first big group... "Should I give you the side-eye then?" Or. Replacements for those who kicked it? He had to admit, she was an improvement over Qwan. But Tej kept it all to himself.

A good time. "Yeah, I remember what those are like." A nod, a quick smile. "Know what I miss? A bon fire. So, maybe we can search out a spot for that, together." Sure, why not.

The smile returned, but softer. Longer lasted. "Big on paint. Yeah. You can say that. I'm an artist. Mixed media. Got my start with graffiti." Tej never had an issue bragging. "My work has been exhibited at the Met. And the Saatchi in London." A few other smaller galleries, not near as impressive as the ones he mentioned.

"Yours though. Reminds me of pool water. Since you were in a pool when it happened, yeah? I do wonder if these have a connection to us, to the powers. All that."

Crystal kept the conversation flowing. Nothing earth-shattering, however he'd take it over the recent fuckery. Tej paused, unnecessarily so. "No, I guess I'm not so homesick." Couldn't help but see Inika flash before his eyes. Zaid. "I do miss my grandfather. That's about it."

A simple girl, easy to please. Dark brows rose, a smile unavoidable. "Ah, are you? I'll keep it in mind." Crystal noted the list of phone numbers. Right, from the meeting. Tej avoided adding his, or any information about himself. While the concept was understood, he didn't personally care to add himself to the list. "Texting randos? You're very friendly, aren't you?" Not the worst idea. Crystal definitely was not shy.

He was going to ask if any messages received weird responses, but Crystal had one ready. The name attached caught him off guard, like he'd stepped barefoot on a wasp.

Zaid. Flirting, inviting someone to dinner. Fucker certainly did not waste any time. (Tej chose not to think about how long they'd been broken up, and Zaid had every right to do as he pleased.)

"Ego's right, yeah," he remarked as his gaze drifted along with the words, almost right off the horizon. The temptation to lie so great. Trash him. Yeah, Zaid WAS a fucking weirdo, she got that correct. But he tried to reel in the pettiness. (That Zaid had the nerve to cook for everyone but him??)

"He's not a weirdo. Well, he is. A harmless one." Tej scoffed and suddenly sat up straighter, an arm crossed over his chest to scratch at a shoulder. "Talk about jealous." A throwaway comment Crystal made earlier. "He is easy to set off." A different pause, a debate, yet at this point Crystal would probably ask. "I used to date him." Date, more than that but whatever. A huff of amusement. "Used to love to wind him up too, he'd get so fucking jealous over the dumbest shit."

Crystal listened intently as he gave his thoughts on the situation, nodding along to look as though she was taking it all in. "Death or mass abduction is our only options here? The only way I see mass kidnapping making sense is…aliens. Though, I don't know if I'd give up on the afterlife theory just yet." She had been out in the lake in the middle of the night after all, either death or alien abduction made sense to her as an outcome for arriving here.

"That is kind of weird huh? You get this big group of people and then randomly one offs come around to join the party? You'd think would whoever brought us here just have us all show up all at once and then nobody else, otherwise what's the point of bringing the whole group if you've got a few stragglers every few weeks that you forgot about."

But what did she know, right? That seemed like something that would take way too much time and energy to figure out. Especially when she would much rather focus on Tej than some mystery. At least she might get actually somewhere with Tej, at least she hoped so based off the way he looked at her and licked his lips. "I'm glad you agree. You do strike me as a guy who likes to have a good time though so it looks like I waved down the right person. Maybe you can give me a tour and show me all the best spots on this beach."

Crystal did love the paint splatter effect that his gem seemed to have, from the parasocial knowledge she had of him, it seemed like it suited him. But she wasn't going to say it out loud so instead she posed it as a question. "You into art? Big on paint? Or do these little accents have a deeper meaning than that?" Her own gem, she wasn't entirely sure of. The only blue gems she knew about were sapphires, and it didn't have any special touches like his did. "I don't know. I think it's lovely though. And I do like the idea that I could make someone jealous. Not like I have any control over what I got."

She hummed softly, shrugging at his remark about sneaking into pools. "Maybe. It's also very good when you want some alone time." which in a way was true. Wanting that time to be alone and self reflect, until she ended up here. Then a question meant to be more heart wrenching. Did she really miss anyone? Maybe her parents, despite everything they always did their best to be there for her. But…it was incredibly difficult for her to think about anyone truly special enough to miss. Crystal looked down at her feet dangling in the water, clasping her hands together in her lap and letting out an almost wistful sigh. "I don't really have anyone back home to miss. People in my life are either already gone or don't deserve to be missed. What about you? Feeling homesick?"

Any other concerns? In this moment Crystal didn't think she had any right to have any concerns. Even if her dramatic lore drop caused a shift in the mood, she was still on a beautiful beach with perfect weather, chatting up a hot guy. She was having a great time. "That's about it for now. I don't see this getting dull for me any time soon, I'm a simple girl, easy to please." she answered, giving him a coy smile. "I've met a few other people but not too many yet. Though, you know what I did see that there's that list of everyone's phone numbers hung up. I thought that was so cute and thought it would be fun to text a few numbers to say hi. So there's some I've met just not in person."

"There's actually one," she started, chuckling in amusement to herself as her brain already started to twist the events that took place. "It was kind of funny, kind of weird, I think his name is Zaid? That's what the name was on the sheet next to the number. I think he really misunderstood me and thought I was hitting on him over text. Like, ok, ego much? I was just being nice and all of a sudden he invited me over for 'dinner'." she put emphasis and air quotes around the word, as if he hadn't offered up the information to her that he was a chef. "I don't know what that's all about. But I don't think I'm going, especially if he's some kind of weirdo."

[starlight---starbrights]

Undertale yellow flowey embroidery

This took about 40 hours, give or take a few

[britneyshakespeare]

i opened gno cloe and i can't even begin to tell you how stunningly beautiful she is to hold

[tumbloggingattheendofitall]

... Having some Feelings, and I can't entirely even blame the shitty sleep I've been getting this week lol

[prettycottagequeer]

.

[robertsbarbie]

my nightmares are so fucked up because almost every single one of them start out as dreams and then suddenly my worst anxieties are coming true, or i’m on the cusp of death or someone i care about is killed before me or wherever i was is actually a plot to kidnap me ect ect like REM why you gotta do me like that

[pa-pa-plasma]

and another thing, I'm sick of people acting like they/them pronouns are just the third gender instead of being gender neutral/outside of the gender binary. idk who decided that they/them pronouns when referring to a person of unknown gender is misgendering & transphobic but they need to go fuck themself i think

[wandaxpietro]

relapsed thinking about eriklorna again. fucked up fucked up fucked up

[kurthorton-moving]

.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

love my own like theatrical relationship to shakespeare which is a) being so slow to realize like "oh, i've loved theatre? everyone doesn't just feel this way & go 'of course acting onstage would fucking kick ass' & adore rehearsals and hanging around backstage and in greenrooms and changing and performing & etc?' never really occurred to me" and b) my response to most encounters w/shakespeare being "wha" when it comes to anything granular yet the relevance still in the spirit of things lol

namely one prominent example being i was an on campus college student where said campus has a shakespearean theater literally three blocks away, and we had like a freshmen orientation weekly class there doing shit with actors and checking out the theater, not to mention like punchcards to see four shows free (to write up about afterwards but yeah sure whatever) and this wherein also you always got student discount tickets And there were pwyw performances....kicked ass. i went there for shows so many times. i have never fucking known what tf is going on in any of the like dozen shows i saw there when a) audio processing can be tricky enough for real life modern vernacular parsing and b) sure am not used to ye old very stylized language nor any other qualities of shakespearean material so lots of times when i finally started to kind of acclimate to the language it would be like "oh wait that was the conclusion? ok. hoorayyyyy" like also c) You Have A Great Time Seeing Shakespeare Productions Anyways like again i loved going anytime. it's Theatrical and if people are just putting their damn backs into delivering and performing the material it's An Experience even if you're really not following lmfao. and i suppose one can read the text / familiarize oneself beforehand

also like my first and really one of my only like regular theatre performing experiences was my literature class in fourth grade doing a few scenes from julius caesar. i was so hype for getting cassius like one of the most prominent roles? a guy? an antagonist if you're caesar or dante??? oh Fuck yes. b/c of technical difficulties we got to perform it twice in a row when we did a field trip to some other school to perform our respective [scenes from various shakespeare plays] altogether. even back then i was way into it and cared about stuff like "we have like no Effects to make it that dramatic when we kill caesar. or like, non silent. bit awkward" and "also i like, don't know how to act and am just winging it. and of course, i'm also like 9" like in theory i do like to know How to do something vs trying to make it up myself. somewhat lol. a balance, who can argue w/that

beyond that there's also lots of things i just didn't quite realize "counted" lmfao like, when you're a theatre gay with a parent req'ing you go to church every week but you have a good time being in the choir....i was sure on those tenor harmonies & singing loud. and going relatively often to various live theatrical events, having an engaging enough time there, but also would've assumed anyone would be into it And that that's not really the same as actually being in them, of course. but that most of my firsthand experience was just sticking w/ballet for like a decade, and kind of live theatrical performance adjacency there. don't say shit, for years was effectively just like, an ensemble for the occasional performances, but even then it's like hoorayyy i Love rehearsing and being onstage and backstage and dealing w/costumes and coordination behind the scenes and shit. and eventually being like, a distinct individual character in shows, so despite again nobody saying shit you're still somewhat interpreting and doing whatever character work while also enjoying the bennies of [it's dance, so also it's choreographed]....even more clear like oh i love backstage and rehearsing and behind the scenes and onstage and putting together stage character makeup, and i don't mind tackling technical difficulties, and etc etc. didn't even necessarily have the reference like, idk, wouldn't / doesn't everyone feel similarly. classic ye old memory of like being idfk 7 or some shit simply getting to walk with classmates behind a backdrop to the opposite wing of a stage, and loving that lmao. combines a love for [backstage] and [secret passages] type deal lol, big fan of these elements

also in 7th grade doing a theatre/drama class for a few months and we couldn't really get like all this in depth extensive stuff b/c you know, intro course for like 8 weeks for rando middle schoolers, but idk it was just illustrative lmao like after julius caesar, us slapping together some kind of script and my getting to be this fun little theatrical(tm) antagonist guy again? feedback was "what was supposed to be happening" but could've stood to have learned that the enthusiasm and affinity i felt for acting onstage was perhaps indicative of enthusiasm and affinity for acting onstage rather than just, idk, the exact kind of baseline experience any & everyone would have lol. not that i would've necessarily had the chance to really do anything with that knowledge, but even now, ofc i don't particularly anticipate getting to use it, but it's great having that knowledge like ohhh i see. the entire time i've been huge into doing theatre with all these kind of adjacent & gently overlapping brushes with it. gotcha

[mysterious-corpse]

I think somethings rlly fucking wrong with me

[britneyshakespeare]

this barbie saw the barbie movie

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[gallusrostromegalus]

In the latest installment of me Terrorizing Medical Professionals, I got my Wisdom Teeth extracted because one decided to be an asshole and the other 3 were pending assholery, and demonstrated to my dentist that it's entirely possible to out-metabolize Ketamine if you start moving ASAP and also have a freakishly powerful liver.

So yesterday I had my one-month Checkup. It went pretty great, and the dentist asked if any part of my mouth was bothering me.

"Yeah, there's a sharp bit of bone coming out through the side from the extraction in my lower right jaw. The bone spur itself doesn't hurt, but it keeps cutting my tongue, so can you just pull it?" "Oh. Sure! Let me go get everything to do that." she said, and went to go get the tools for the extraction.

...Then there was some kind of confusion at the front desk I could overhear, with someone showing up with an urgent problem and they had to juggle the available staff, so she came back a bit later with the Pliers, said something about something taking "long enough" and went in.

It came out in two pieces, and the most discomfort I had was like, a 3/10 from the extraction itself, but mostly from keeping my mouth open.

...About halfway through, the Hygienist came in, apologizing for being late getting back from the front desk.

"Oh good, you have her the Novocaine!" the hygienist sighs with relief.

"What?" Said my dentist.

"What?" said the hygienist.

Both of them turn to look at the very full syringe on the tool table behind me.

"Honestly this is bothering me way less than the shot would." I said, lightly dribbling blood, and they both turn to me in horror.

"I really hate needles." I explain.

"What." says the dentist.

"Woah." Says the hygienist. "You would have done great in like, The Civil War."

Which is probably the funniest thing anyone's every said about my dangerously high pain tolerance.

Anyway, it was a one-off issue, and a non-issue for me because I think a normal person would have stopped her, so I go back in August if she doesn't recommend me to someone else for terrifying her twice in as many visits.