#personal piney posting

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

When I heard about "shojo superman" I was intrigued, but skeptical. Now, I am a believer.

The fan discourse was right about its shojo sensibilities, but I keep finding dipshit articles people were paid to write calling it "Shonen inspired". This is why we can't have nice things!!!! If they just used the general "anime" it'd be less annoying, but they keep using "Shonen" specifically which is just LAME. It has a magical girl Transformation sequence come ONNNNN.

Yeah, there's a lot of overlap, especially in a hybrid East to West show like this, but GDI it's lame when something cranks up so many well loved features of shojo for a mainstream audience only to be misunderstood as shonen. I guess it's the action misleading people, but the pacing, character moments, and themes distinctly lean shojo. It feels like an episode of Sailor Moon before Yu Yu Hakusho. I'm keeping it retro for the comarisons cuz I think that was clearly the goal in production. The way it showcases tropes usually reserved for femmes characters and consumers, especially for western shows, for a legacy male character is part of what makes it feel so fresh and appealing. It all adds up to a nostalgic, romance hazed, optimistic take on Superman that works brilliantly.

Just on an "aesthetic level" the same way the 90's animated Superman and Batman banked on Art Deco futurism in its environments and settings, this show uses hazy lighting and a warm inviting city reminiscent of classic shojo.

Sorry, I'm not an expert in DC or Superman by any means, and with a character that's been around for almost 100 years, an "ideal adaptation" is kind of a fallacy in its own right. I have zero ill will towards Shonen on its own, only the way the industry prioritizes it at the expense of shojo cuz "stuff 'for girls' isn't profitable" and the cultural fallout from that. My Adventures With Superman flies in the face of that broke brain thinking with its unabashedly romantic, pink tinged success. I just adore shojo, so seeing something really hit a gender flaunting homer with its sensibilities getting mislabeled as shonen is lame.

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

Protect trans and queer youth

Haters get the gators

Bigots get the Bigfoot

Last Week Tonight, March 16, 2022

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

I was trying to sleep thru the rain but every well intentioned boomer I know if blowin' up my phone to make sure we're hurricane-ok. Bless you fam, but I need to conserve my energy in standard hurricane tradition by sleepin' after a night of cheladas and doodlin'.

For real stay safe tho Beryl Afflicted Babes.

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

You like raunchy gross out 2000's mid budget comedies

I like the quirky weird 2000's mid budget comedies.

We are not the same.

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

I fucking LOVE when people u start texting organically at a new job suddenly fall tf off when they smell the tism or whatever the fuck social poison I assidentally threw into the atmosphere this fucking time.

I wasn't even TRYIN. I was like 'u try too hard, don't try too hard it'll be organic' she seems to think you're cool already, don't try hard. Fuckin NOPE. That metaphorical garage door came tf down and they are following the script I have seen EVERY GODDAMN TIME.

I tried to be nonchalant and not give a fuck and go into a job to 'not make friends' but when that door came down I was just at a fuckin loss.

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

Big bug season

[r2d2lover]

The Truth Slips

Paring: Fred Weasley X Reader

Rating: E

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Shameless smut without plot. Loss of virginity. Prevalence of a drinking game.

Summary: request: “i wanted to request a fred oneshot where reader is shy/bashful and a virgin and fred's his usually cocky self but sorta fuckboy-eee and yanoo they do the dirty… my guilty pleasure”

My guilty pleasure as well. Fuckboy Fred is my creme de la creme. uncanon fun silly Fred one shot.

Part 2

You nervously watch the bottle in the middle spin around. And around. And around. Until it jolted with a stop on you.

Your glance hesitates as it trails up to meet the bottle’s spinner, who’s green eyes light up with glee.

“This is gonna be so good,” Fred Weasley exclaimed with a wicked smile. He leaned back on his elbows, waiting for your next move. Gulping nervously, you reach towards him wondering how a post-Quidditch party turned into a scene from your nightmares.

Everyone who decided to partake in the game whoops and hollers as you finally reach in the middle of the circle and claim your shot glass of the clear liquid. George had suggested that the house play “Veritaserum Roulette” with a stolen bottle of the potion. While preparing N.E.W.T-level potions was a grueling task, the fun came in seeing who was able to snag a bottle from the professor’s watchful eye to share amongst the house. You decided not to inspect your shot glass and threw the liquid back down your throat, then set the shot glass upside down on the ground like you saw in the Muggle movies. You immediately felt your face get hot but you knew it wouldn’t be because you ingested any serum, rather it was the pressure of having all the 7th year Gryffindor staring you down with intense concentration.

“S-someone has to ask a question,” You stuttered, picking the shot glass back up to fidget with it. Initially when the game was introduced, it was simply truth or dare. You could’ve easily backed out if that. Now, you couldn’t stop anything that was to come out of your mouth if you chose the glass with Veritaserum. You hoped that the two questions chosen for you would spare you any embarrassment.

“Do you fancy anyone at this moment?” Angelina leaned forward, taking her hands off of Fred. She was laying herself across Fred all night, non-discreetly showing off the fact that she was his latest… “conquest” as you overheard one of his friends call the girls that swooned over the redhead. Fred shot to popularity after bringing the Gryffindor Quidditch to back to back championships and it only inflated his ego more so than it already was. Despite his poor reputation, you couldn’t deny that the girls dreaming about Fred were warranted in their pursuit. Fred and George didn’t become the star Beaters without a rigorous workout regiment that hardened their muscles and broadened their shoulders. Their rugged appearances paired with their reliable and goofy personalities made them unstoppable.

Fred also happened to be your first friend at Hogwarts, finding you crying after a particularly embarrassing flying class during your first year. He sat with you and assured you that it wasn’t a show of your skills but the result of faulty school broomsticks. From that day, Fred guided you on flying while you tutored him in Potions.

All this time later, you didn’t need flying lessons anymore, but Fred still needed Potions help. You would never admit it, but your favorite part of the week was sitting in the library with Fred absolutely engrossed in homework. You would steal glances as he nipped the end of his quill in deep thought or when he would push his falling hair out of his face. Fred’s worst trait was his lack of spatial awareness and he’d always lean in too close while you explained the more difficult concepts to him. He was always chewing a sharp minty gum and smelled of a piney cologne that reminded you of Christmas. It distracted you often and made you turn beet red when he noticed the change in your diction. This would only make Fred lean in closer, inquiring about your odd behavior. All this time, you fought off any feelings you could have developed because you were realistic. You weren’t the Quidditch player, social butterfly types that Fred dated. Angelina was a prime example. Speaking of her, your desperate attempt to avoid answering her question was null and void when you felt as if you were being puppeted to speak.

“I do,” You squeaked out. Your hands flung to your mouth, but the attempt was feeble. Everyone quickly muttered amongst themselves to figure out the next question to ask you. At this moment, you felt like a criminal on trial. The easy next question was “who?” but the chatter alluded to a deeper question. It surely appalled everyone that you had a crush. You largely avoided the dating scene despite the relentless attempts from Oliver Wood. You thought Oliver was sweet and went on a singular date with him last year, but he was only focused on Quidditch. Much like Fred.

“Who is it? Is it Oliver? If it isn’t, who?” A younger Gryffindor blurred out in excitement and you felt the same puppet feeling in your gut and as you began to answer, Fred reached over and clamped his hand on your mouth. Your face was burning so hot at this moment you were sure you were sweating.

“Hey! We can only ask one more questions. We gotta make them good. Don’t answer those,” Fred instructed, removing his hand from your face. He brushed a piece of hair that fell out of place back behind your ear, making your stomach flip. This was such a ridiculous feeling. “Did you ever bed Oliver?”

“No? N..no!” You raised your eyebrows at Fred, appalled he would ask such a question. Once you opened your mouth, more words flowed out like a broken faucet. “I’ve never bedded anyone. Oliver was always on the Quidditch Pitch and it isn’t exactly the sexiest place in the castle.”

Your statement made the room laugh, which only increased your self consciousness. You shrugged and admitted you weren’t embarrassed at the fact for never having done anything with Oliver or any man. You were already covering your face with both hands, definitely sweating at this point. The group decided to refill on butterbeer, leaving you to seal your mouth shut with a cup of water. Fred stayed next to you, his green eyes filling with a mischievous glint.

“Has the Veritaserum worn off?” Fred asked, tilting his head up to look at you. He kept unwavering eye contact that made your mind go blank.

“Not yet,” You answered, still under the influence of the potion. Hopefully Fred wouldn’t press any further or that it would wear off before then.

“Ah… So, while I have you here, you really never slept with Oliver?” Fred leaned in closer, a smirk forming across your face. You shook your head and reaffirmed what he already knew. “Why not? And don’t give me the Quidditch answer.”

“I was waiting for the right person,” You said lamely, unable to fight the potion’s effect. Fred lifted an eyebrow.

“You’ve never fantasized?” Fred blocked you from grabbing a cup of water that would render you voiceless.

“Not about Oliver. Wh-why are you asking?” You fought your thoughts hard to answer Fred’s question as vaguely as possible.

“Hey, I thought I was asking the questions here. I just wanted to know what makes the timid girl that tutors me in Potions tick,” Fred moved so close to you that you could clearly smell his cologne. Luckily, his statement wasn’t laced with a question and the potion took no effect, allowing you to shake your head shyly.

“So you said not Oliver, so who do you think about?” Fred figured out how to narrow his question and before you could stop, your mouth betrayed you.

“Us,” You said, feeling like you broke the dam. Fred’s eyes grew wide, but his body language didn’t change. You were waiting for him to recoil out of instinct or turn red. But he continued to look at you coolly, turning a cup of butterbeer in his hands. Your heart jumped to your stomach and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your flight instinct kicked in, but before you could flee from the conversation, Fred grabbed your arm and forced you back down.

“What do you think about us?” Fred’s eyes darkened with an excitement you’ve never seen before. Arousal. You could only take a big gulp before your dirty fantasies about the boy you tutored that you kept locked away spilled out of your mouth for the world to hear.

“I think about you sliding a hand up my skirt in the library. Telling me to be quiet. I want to kiss you until I can’t feel my lips. I want to see you without a shirt on. I think about you pulling my hair back to look at you while you f-“ Your mortification overtook your entire body and you collapsed before you could finish your sentence with a yelp. Fred took a hold of you before you could hit the wall, making sure to take a long look at you. His face still had the cocky smile that you’d grown to love. His strong arm that was wrapped supportively around your waist and got tighter as he tried to figure out his next question. Your squirming didn’t help and you had no choice but to be stuck in his investigation.

“Are you thinking about it right now?” Fred’s eyes flitted from your eyes to your lips and if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest, you would’ve had half the mind to kiss him.

“Yes,” You practically slurred, unable to calm down from the situation unfolding before you. Fred ran a comforting hand up and down your back, soothing your nerves only slightly.

“Do you want to go up to my room to show me some of these fantasies?” Fred said blatantly. Of course you did and of course you let him know.

“Yes but,” You took a large inhale trying to ease your racing heart. “But what about Angelina?”

“I don’t want her. I want you,” Fred said definitively, sending a chill down your back. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want to pressure you into anything just because you don’t have control of your thoughts right now.”

“I want you, Fred,” You said with a confidence that surprised even you. The words were genuine, the feeling of being puppeted by your mouth was gone. As you focused on Fred’s words and realized what he was proposing, you felt a simmering heat between your thighs and that you had been rubbing your thighs together to cause a reliving friction between them. But the clarity brought another realization. “You… you don’t even like me. I’m. I’m not going to be one of your conquests or whatever.”

“Gods, really are clueless are you?” Fred laughed at your out-of-character quip. He used his free hand to tilt your chin up to meet his eyes. “Did you really think I was spending all this time in the library thinking about Potions? Why the hell would I take N.E.W.T-level Potions if I was bad at it? I just had to pretend enough for you to keep studying with me.”

Fred’s confession stunned you silent. Without second thought, you wrapped your arms around Fred’s neck and leaned forward to meet his lips with yours. He gave an amused noise, kissing you back gladly. The kiss was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You were fulfilling a need you didn’t know you had, pressing deeper and deeper into the redhead’s mouth. Fred skillfully nipped at your bottom lip, slipping his tongue into your mouth when you moaned at the unfamiliar feeling. You were a little intimidated by his knowledge and your lack thereof, but the hand he was rubbing on your waist made you forget about anything besides him. He started to move a hand towards your chest and smirked wildly when you whimpered because he pulled away.

“My room. Now,” Fred said breathlessly, practically dragging you up the stairs. He hastily cast a locking and silencing charm before pushing you on the bed. Fred hovered over you, obviously delighted by your misshapen appearance. He had you pinned to the bed with one leg between your thigh and his arms at either side of your head.

The burning in your stomach only grew and Fred continued to kiss you, tasting every bit of you. He snaked a hand up your shirt, palming you through the fabric of your bra. When you least suspected it, he pulled the fabric down, pinching your firmed nipple in between his forefinger and thumb. The sensation made you moan loudly into his kisses and buck your hips up on his thigh.

“That’s a good girl,” Fred purred, continuing to flex his fingers around your breast. “Stop me if you want at any moment.”

“Take off your clothes,” Your voice was so whiny with need that you hardly recognized it. Fred only chuckled and moved his hand away from your chest to start removing your clothes instead of his. You batted his hand away and ran your fingers down his broad chest. You slowly undid his buttons, shaking from nervousness and exhilaration. Every button revealed more of his tanned muscular body that made your mouth watered. Fred continued supporting himself over you, enjoying your desperation.

When you finally managed to shed his shirt, you could barely focus. Your eyes trailed down his chest to the trail of hair on his stomach that pointed directly to the tension in his pants.

“I… I don’t know what to do,” You admitted to Fred, tangling your hands in his hair nervously.

“It’s okay. I think it’s time for me to teach you something to thank you for the last few years,” Fred said cockily, amazing you at how he stayed the same while you were falling apart under his touch. He quickly removed your clothes, tossing them somewhere in the middle of the room.

You felt vulnerable laying there in only your underwear, but Fred dragged his Quidditch-calloused hands down your body as he planted reassuring kisses on your mouth. His mouth followed his hand down until his lips were biting at the sensitive skin of your neck and his hand was rubbing circles on the soft skin of your inner thigh. You moved your hips down to meet his hand pleadingly and he took pity on you.

Fred moved his hands up to feel your arousal, circling his finger just around the bundle of nerves that begged to be touched. He knew exactly what he was doing and held your hips down with his free hand when you let out a whining groan. After teasing you, Fred slipped your underwear to the side, dragging his middle finger up your slick.

“Just how long have you been fantasizing about me?” Fred joked, breathing in as you moaned. He was barely making any movements and he had you reacting like this. Fred dragged his finger back and forth a few times before slowly pressing his middle finger into you, making sure to look up at you in order to spot any discomfort. You squirmed a little at the feeling, but once Fred started curling his finger, your body relaxed around the pleasure.

“More,” Your head sunk into Fred’s bed as your body grew accustomed to the feeling. Fred audibly smirked as he slipped his ring finger in as well, kissing you deeply. You realized his pants were still on and his fingers were speeding up from impatience. You reached down tenderly, running your fingers gently over the tent in his pants. He let out an airy breath before breaking the kiss to look at you.

“Feel it,” Fred encouraged you. His working fingers paused as he directed your hand with his free hand to his pants. Fred placed his hands on top of yours, simulating a squeeze. You copied his movement, earning a low groan from him. “Fuck… I need you right now.”

You shed your undergarments as Fred fumbled with his belt, too overtaken with lust to focus on unclipping the buckle. He finally released the leather binding and dropped his pants quickly, letting his cock fall as well. You watched with big eyes and Fred took your hand again to wrap it around his base.

“Just like that,” Fred praised as you moved your hand up and down. The friction was uncomfortable for you, so you pulled your hand back to lick a stripe up your palm and return it to his cock. The action made Fred roll his eyes back into his head and let his head drop as you continued to pump your hand up and down. “You’re so good, baby.”

Fred’s praise only made you want him more and the wanting in between your thighs got to be unbearable. As Fred was closing his eyes in bliss, you sneakily reached a hand down towards your folds to mimic his earlier actions in an attempt to ease the pressure. Fred felt you moving and quickly opened his eyes, catching you in the act. He tsked and removed your hand, pinning it by your head.

“Impatient are we, love?” Fred chuckled, sending vibrations through your stomach.

“Please,” You begged. “I want to feel you.”

Fred was impatient as you were and shifted his weight back to line himself up with your entrance. You were filled with such an excitement and nervousness that you subdued by reaching up for a kiss. Fred dragged the head of his cock against your slick folds, almost as if he was waiting for permissions.

“Fred. Fuck me,” You drawled, dizzy from anticipation. Fred let out a string of curses, then entered with a slow thrust. You let out a cry at the satisfying pain of feeling your walls stretch around Fred. He checked in again with you to make sure you were comfortable and you gave him a kiss on the cheek for assurance.

“You feel so amazing,” You slurred, eyes shutting from the pleasure. Fred slowly rolled his hips against yours, intertwining his hands with yours. He still had your hand pinned against your head and he was starting to lean forward, delivering soft grunts to your ear.

“You’re so… tight,” Fred mused aloud. You bucked your hips up to meet the friction the penetration was creating and Fred took that as a sign to go faster. He picked up his rhythm that made you sing a chorus of moans that melted into his name. Fred let curses fall out of his mouth and he picked up the speed of his thrusts, fully fucking you into the bed. Your cries only encouraged him.

Fred planted his lips on yours, creating a messy and heavy kiss that dripped with want. You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging whenever he would move to a certain spot that made your vision blur. A knotted feeling built up in your stomach like you never felt before.

“Fred… I- I’m-'' Fred understood what you were trying to get at and dropped a hand to your clit, rubbing soft circles that only tightened your stomach. With a cry, you broke from his interlocked hand and wrapped your arms around him as you nipped at his shoulder from the immense wave that washed over you. Fred laughed with such confidence it brought you back to life as he slowed down his thrusts.

“I’m almost there. Do you want me to keep going?” Fred panted, brushing a hair out of your face and kissing you on the forehead.

“Yes, please,” You relaxed back, feeling absolutely crazed. Fred dropped his head again and you reached up to trail kisses down his neck. “You fuck me so well, Fred.”

Your praise sent Fred over the edge and he unsheathed himself with a groan, spilling himself on your stomach. Fred collapsed beside you with a heave, then moved quickly to help clean you off. He climbed back into bed with you, pulling you close with a kiss.

“Telling the truth pays off, huh?”

“That, or Potions class.”

[happysaddca]

Nobody look at me idk how or why because human AUs of the canon DCA are not my thing and I straight up told at @wyervan that the slasher boys scare me when I was working on the fanzine layout but I

let's just say I'm very very much out of writing block cause I'm already plotting some more. Thanks for reading this over before I posted it Wyervan. As promised there's a tiny present at the end for you.

A long, hard poke from the business end of a baseball bat wakes Moon from his nap. He grabs it before he can be poked again, moving to sit up. An endeavor made more fraught by the surprise stowaway in his hoodie digging her claws into the thin material of his t-shirt. One arm moves to cradle said interloper, the other keeping the bat at bay. “What?” 

“You scared me!” The bat jerks free to gently bop the top of his head, Ellis’s voice pitched half an octave too high and their face flushed. When Moon grabs at the bat again, they pull protectively back. “Why are you in my bus?”

“Better place to nap.” Moon ducks in the small space as he sits up fully. “Better company too.” 

Ellis’s confusion is partially masked by their tinted glasses. Moon answers by fishing the purring bundle of void out from under his hoodie, amber eyes giving Moon a wounded look at her eviction. “Oh! Eos, c’mere baby girl.” The cat changes arms, and Moon’s able to relax with the bat safely out of the way, the tension in his shoulders reducing fractionally. Ellis has chosen to ignore him entirely, face buried in Eos’s fur and mumbling nonsense. 

Moon remains seated on the edge of the bed, unable to reach an escape point (window that actually opens, the emergency exit on the roof, the main bus doors at the very front) without squeezing past Ellis and making far more bodily contact than could be considered strictly professional. 

Then again, he had broken into their home to sleep. Even if said home is a converted school bus. 

The bus is a teal monstrosity that has made its home at the far corner of the admittedly small arcade parking lot, a DIY project Ellis affectionately called Big Sue for reasons yet unknown. The beast’s taken Ellis from coast to coast before breaking down here. Ellis had asked for a job in exchange for the parking space and enough for repairs. Just enough to keep going, they’d promised. One, maybe two months top. That’d been five months ago. 

“Okay.” Ellis lifts their face from where Eos had been industrially grooming their hair, glasses shoved lopsidedly on their forehead. The absurdity of the look doesn’t take away from their smile. “If you’re here, you’re helping.” 

“Helping?” Ellis leans past Moon to let Eos loose on the bed, close enough that he can smell the fresh piney scent of their soap — the same smell trapped in their pillow and blankets he’d nested in before passing out. He can’t move without getting in the way, but Ellis is out of his space just as quick, watching him with hands fisted loosely against their hips. 

“Helping with dinner. You broke into my home and nearly gave me a heart attack. This is how you pay me back.” When Moon doesn’t move, Ellis grabs his hands, their grip offering no counterargument. Moon lets Ellis pull him upright and drag him to the sink to wash up. 

Ellis clearly doesn’t have the same reservations about personal space as Moon, constantly squeezing behind him in the narrow walkway as he’s tasked with prepping the veggies, okra and bell peppers and onions and more. It’s not until he’s feeding Eos a stray shrimp and Ellis is stirring in garlic that something clicks. 

“You’re the one that’s been cooking for us.” Moon’s voice is almost accusatory. He stands, stealing their spoon to point at them to finish the accusation. The sauce drips, a furry dark shape twining her way between their legs to lick the floor clean. 

Ellis steals the spoon back, pointing it back at Moon. “And you didn’t know?” Their aim is off, poking Moon in the cheek and leaving a smear of brown and grit. “Oops.” Their serious expression breaks all too quickly. “You can’t tell  me you really didn’t know.” 

Moon’s own face doesn’t change, but his eyes slide off Ellis and to the gently bubbling pot of jambalaya busily making the whole bus smell delicious and Cajun. “You never signed your notes.” 

“I didn’t think I needed to. You think that Star or that half-feral dude you guys keep letting into the break room can cook?” Ellis turns, ripping off a fresh paper towel from the roll kept by the stove. “Bend down.” 

“Still never signed.” Moon doesn’t move, so Ellis drags him down by the hood. They’re not too much shorter than Moon or Sun, but the angle and closeness lets him see over their glasses and see the pale gray of their sclera. This close, he knows they can see the mottled texture of his skin and all the imperfections. They exhale. Their breath smells like menthol and tobacco. 

“Maybe I should sign all my work moving forward.” They dab at his cheek before tracing his jawline with the corner of the paper towel. “Sign my face paint masterpieces right here. What do you think?” They meet his eyes and grin, and he straightens, the back of his neck growing hot even as he gives an answering sharp toothed smile. 

“Probably not necessary. Just if you have other surprises in store.” Moon recovers the spoon where Ellis had left it and stirs the pot, the shrimp and okra appearing like icebergs in the reddish-brown roux. Ellis leaves him to it, pulling something new — cornbread — from their icebox. 

It’s quiet save for the sound of cooking, bubbling liquids and metal scraping on metal as Ellis reheats the bread. Fingers ghost over Moon’s arm as they balance themselves on him, pulling out an extra bowl. Moon tries to protest, but they force him to sit at their narrow table, cleaning it of suspiciously striped and spangled fabric. Ellis serves him a bowl with a massive hunk of cornbread stuck in the corner. 

They sit opposite, curling one leg against their chest as they tear their cornbread, using it to soak up the excess sauce. “You know, I don’t know a whole lot about you, given you were just asleep in my bed Moon. Is Moon even your real name?”

Moon shrugs an answer, copying the tear and soak method Ellis is using with his cornbread. “Don’t know a lot about you. Is Ellis your real name?” They laugh and stick out their tongue, Moon replying in kind. The mimicry makes them laugh harder, covering their mouth with one hand. 

“Okay, fair enough.” 

Moon switches to a spoon while Ellis continues to tear down their cornbread into increasingly smaller pieces. He glances at the counter. 

“Okay, new question then. Can you guess where I’m from?” 

The grin indicates this is a trick question. Moon mulls it over as he bites into a particularly spicy bite of sausage. “Florida.”

“Ew, no, why?” Ellis is coughing when Moon gives another shrug and smile. They roll their eyes in return. “I’m from Alabama you heathen.” 

“Close enough.” That gets a kick in the shin from a steel-toed boot. Moon doesn’t flinch. 

“If you knew anything about the South, you would not be saying that.” Now that he knows, there’s just a hint of that accent, the words hanging on a touch longer even as their speech remains relatively chipper. Ellis finally runs out of cornbread, forced to use their spoon at last. Moon’s bowl is already half empty. “Were you and Sun really clowns before?” A nod, and Moon feels a little head bumping his arm as Eos crawls into his lap to smell at his food. “You don’t really seem the clown type.” 

“I don’t?” Moon quirks an eyebrow and now Ellis mimics him, but they do pause. 

“I mean, obviously when you’re in character I can see it.” The next bit comes out in a rush. “I’m not trying to say you’re bad at clownery or anything.” There’s a metallic tink as they bite on their spoon, rushing to cut themselves off before they say something else stupid. It’s dark out now, and the light inside makes it all the harder to get a good read on their face. Moon remains quiet, and Ellis shifts, leg sliding down out of the seat. 

“It’s just, you’re so much more chill than Sun is. If you asked me to guess what he was without seeing him in costume, I’d probably guess a discount Ronald McDonald.” That gets a laugh as Moon imagines just how Sun would react to that comparison. Maybe he’ll use it the next time Sun complains about how messy Moon gets during their second job. “And you’ve sharpened your teeth. That doesn’t seem very clown…y.” 

“It doesn’t?” Moon’s grin widens and he’s satisfied to see Ellis is now the one made uncomfortable. Fair play and all that. “What about your ears?”

“What about my ears?” Their hand shoots up to touch one gauge, hiding the plain black disc self-consciously. 

“Doesn’t seem very child care workery.” He gestures with his spoon. “Or the collar. Or the jacket.” 

Too far, Moon realizes as Ellis shrinks into themself, hand moving down from their ear to the heavy leather jacket that dwarfs their frame. There’s a moment where he thinks he should apologize (why?) but Ellis straightens back up before he can process the fleeting feeling. 

“Well, you knew what I was when you hired me,” they say, returning to their jambalaya. “And your teeth are pretty cool anyway. I don’t think I’d be brave enough for that intense of body mods.”

Moon swipes his tongue over his teeth. Cool huh? He scratches gently at Eos in his lap as Ellis turns the conversation to work, plans for the winter solstice and a wistful hope to visit the nearby state forest for a camping trip. To his surprise, Moon is invited. To the camping trip, and later, as Ellis is wrapping up the rest of the jambalaya and cornbread for Sun and himself, to nap in the bus again. 

“Eos likes you,” they explain, and their gaze is back to their usual place, somewhere in the region of his chin and mouth. “And you popping up here will force me to keep the place clean.” They follow him to the door. “Just maybe tell me when you plan on it?”

“No promises.” Moon steps into the cold and looks down at the bowl in his hands. That… was definitely an odd interaction. He glances back at the bus when music starts to play. Punk, because of course it was. He goes for the car, debating what to tell Sun of what happened. 

He’d keep the way their eyes changed when they smiled to himself for now.

also if you're curious what Ellis looks like since they are decidedly not a self insert but their own person...

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

There's a chainsaw dealership in my one horse town, just FULL of stray kitties that the shop owner takes in. It smells like gasoline and kitties in there. You can get your chainsaw worked on swappin' parts and what not while petting a sweet kitty. These little shits and our species have shaped each other over the millennia. I daresay they are meant for this work.

Hard day’s work

[mildlylesbian]

Picrew Masterpost

So uh... I use picrew a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Because of this I have a lot of funky picrews in my catalog, some are really popular some less so - figured I'd make a master list with as many as I physically can. I'll try to list pros and cons* for each picrew - unfortunately, due to the image limit I can't include examples** *pros and cons are my personal opinion, I am not trying to insult any picrew on this list nor am I saying my opinion is the be-all or end-all. I will not be commenting negatively on any art styles in my con list, I will simply focus on what it does well and what I think could be better **If you have a maker you think should be added send me an ask with the link and lmk it's for this post For the sake of actually browsing this post, we're gonna have sections. Under these sections will be all the picrews relating to it. The sections, in the order listed, are:

Modern - has a majority modern clothing options

Fantasy - has a majority fantasy clothing options

Historic - clothing options or artstyle reflect a specific time period

Full Body - shows knees up of the characters or more

Group - more than one character in the image

Animals - any non-humanoid

Misc - makers that don't include a character or that work better for icons than character design

I will also put emojis next to picrews that include certain things, 🧕 for picrews with hijabs, 🌈 that include LGBT backgrounds or pins, 🎉for picrews with vitiligo, ♿ for disability options (wheelchairs, feeding tubes, etc) and ✨ for my personal favourite picrews. If there's another thing you want me to mark for let me know.

makowka character maker II🧕🌈🎉

Pros: Great for avatars, multiple body shapes, diverse hair, lots of skin tones, hijabi options, pleasing art style, wrinkles! Cons: only plain colour backgrounds and pride flags, clothes all feel very samey, would like to see more vitiligo placement options, hates don't fit properly half the time, beards can look a bit flat

PotatoLord’s Persona Creator🧕🌈🎉♿

Pros: Very nicely stylized, lots of nose options, visually pleasing, hijabi options, lots of facial hair options, wheelchair options, wings Cons: only preset hair is available meaning you can't mix and match, not a ton of clothing options, vitiligo options look a bit flat

Ultimate friend's face maker ✨🌈🎉

Pros: So many vitiligo options, scar variety, three face detail slots, options to mix and match hair or have pre-selected, cool glasses, background variety Cons: not a ton of noses, only preselected hair has dye options, only one hat option, only one prescription glasses

뒤를 보는 픽크루

Pros: Dynamic posing, hat variety, beautiful backgrounds Cons: Lack of skin options, lack of noses, overall lack of variety

Nuggts character maker! ✨🧕🎉

Pros: Lots of skin tones, expressive eyes, stylized, hijabi options, funky hats, eyebrow options Cons: Vitligo looks painted on, eyes are all black, can only select from pre-chosen hair options, lack of clothing variety

KZ's dolls🧕

Pros: Skin tone variety, funky eyebrows, nose variety, makeup, caters to more alt/punk/goth styles, hijabi options, clothing variety Cons: Hair isn't very customizable, would like to see more layering options given the style it seems to pander to

rawravera's icon maker🧕🌈🎉♿

Pros: Skin tone variety, customizable eyes, customizable hair, beautiful backgrounds Cons: Lack of facial hair options

piney's icon maker! 🌈♿

Pros: Face shape variety, skin tone variety, hearing aids, nose shape variety, heterochromia, facial hair variety Cons: Body options only change neck size, not a lot of clothing colour variety

vonnegratci Honolulu maker

Pros: Skin tone variety, tattoos, clothing variety, aesthetic af backgrounds Cons: Lack of hair texture variety, lack of glasses variety

Black Centered Picrew✨🧕🎉♿

Pros: Skin tone variety, ear variety, heterochromia, freckle variety, vitiligo variety, scar variety, lots of hair variety, hair jewelry, facial hair variety, hat variety, Hijabi options Cons: Clothes feel very samey, only one background option

ElenaA's Little Guy Maker✨🧕🌈🎉♿

Pros: Decent skin variety, multiple sets of eyes, horn variety, hair texture variety, lots of earring options, kippah, many many hats, many holdable items, pets, weapons, super customizable background Cons: Lacking colour options across the board

mimzies picrew #2✨🌈🎉♿

Pros: Decent skin variety, can choose how the face is shaded, braces, feeding tube, self harm scars, split dye hair, Cons: No eyebrow variety, only one curly hair bangs option,

キラキラ鱈メーカー3

Pros: Heterochromia, cool hair options, hair accessories, pets Cons: Only one skin tone, only straight hair, lack of clothing variety

Character maker✨🧕🌈🎉

Pros: Skin tone variety, multi-eye options, heterochromia, eye shine variety, split dye hair, hair variety, mushroom hat :) Cons: Would love to see more mouth variety, would love some more afro hair, I would commit crimes for more clothing options and variety

skyeslovenotes🧕🌈🎉

Pros: Skin tone variety, face shape options, hair texture variety, clothing layering, Cons: There's a bit around the fact that stays white regardless of skin tone, can't change blush colour so some blushes only work for certain skins without looking odd, lack of eye shape variety,

ElenaA's Windswept Oc Maker✨🧕🌈🎉

Pros: Dynamic posing, lots of skin tones, the green skin actually looks nice, eyes are very customizable, nose variety, Hijabi options, hair variety, facial hair looks good, rings, background variety, base is androgynous so you can actually make masculine men, there is a very fat toad you can hold Cons: Only 2 vitiligo placements, compared to the rest of the picrew facial hair lacks variety

Dragon Age Elf/Human maker

Pros: Skin tone variety, cool face paint, hair is quite customizable, Cons: The outlines stay the same regardless of skin tone so on darker tones the nose outline is lighter then the skin, can't layer clothes, would like to see more elf ear options since it's an elf maker

Tiefling Maker✨

Pros: Skin tone variety, green skin tone looks nice, a lot of variety overall in body shapes, hair, clothing, etc, customizable nose, Cons: Only one eyebrow shape

[BAYDEWS' avatar maker!!] V2🧕🌈🎉

Pros: Skin tone variety, nose variety, heterochromia, androgynous enough to make masc characters, hair texture variety Cons: Only one facial hair option, would love to see more clothing options

Fantasy OC Creator ✨🎉

Pros: Skin tone variety, ear variety, nose variety, ok hair texture variety, beard variety, clothing style variety, nice wing selection Cons: Some of the wing colours do not match, the left monster hand skin tones do not match the other skin tones

Nothing here yet! There are some I have in mind, just need to find them - will be added eventually :)

TOON ME! ⟪ A ⟫ ⟪ B ⟫ ✨🧕🎉♿

Pros: Two body shapes that can use all the same items, expressive eyes, options for heterochromia, tattoos, lots of prosthetic options, so many hair options, variety of clothing, lots of hair accessories, beautiful backgrounds Cons: Would like to see more facial vitiligo, the hats don't fit on top of the hair half the time, would like some necklace and bracelet options independent from one another, glasses are a bit bulky

Magicdoll*Maker

Pros: Eyeshine variety, great hair options, detailed dresses and skirts, shoe variety, unique concept Cons: lack of skin options, lack of mouth options

Nyx character creator✨🌈

Pros: Lots of ear options, all eye shapes have a lashless option, 5 clothes layers, the animal ears on this maker are to die for Cons: Not as many skin options as other makers, can't change scar colours so they're hard to see on some skin tones

criador de drips insanos ✨

Pros: Skin tone variety, cute af clothes, Cons: Only preset hairs available, not a ton of clothing or colour variety

Baby Carrot outfit maker🧕🌈🎉

Pros: Skin tone variety, two body shapes, top surgery scars, stretch marks, everything available for the thin body is also available for the larger body, lots of clothes layers, clothing variety, Cons: Only one vitiligo placement, wish there was more facial hair, the bags do not fit the larger body type, only one glasses option

Alli’s OC Creator!🧕🎉

Pros: Skin tone variety, heterochromia, hair variety, clothing layers, style variety, many many shoes Cons: Would love to see more accessories like bracelets

Something about them 🧕🎉

Pros: Skin tone variety, lots of animal features, decent hair texture variety, heterochromia Cons: Lack of clothing options/variety, would love if the animal ears and tails were separate pieces

Cryptid Spotters

Pros: variety of hair textures, skin colour choices are decent, hairs have fun colours, lots of noses Cons: Wish there was more hair, wish there were more body types

なさや式CPメーカー

Pros: Nice variety of outfit styles, versatile, heterochromia Cons: Lack of skin tones, no hair texture variety, lack of choice

보슬비가 내려요

Pros: Good hair options, very cute, unique concept, phrog Cons: Lack of skin ton variety, lack of hair texture variety, can't change clothes

元気ゴリゴリ🦍

Pros: Characters are very androdynous, heterochromia, pupil variety, decent clothing options, animal ears, Cons: Lack of skin tone variety, lack of hair texture variety,

ラットメーカー | Rat maker!

Pros: rats, markings variety, tail decorations, expressive Cons: lack of colour variety, only two shirts

My Froggie✨🌈

Pros: Frogs, four frogs to choose from, froggie hats, froggie weapons Cons: None :)

ロリータがつくれるやつ

Pros: lots of skirt options, lots of accents and accessories Cons: Lack of colour variety, colours come across washed out

Wervty's Obscured Icon Maker✨🧕🌈🎉

Pros: Great for icons, fun artstyle, eye shape variety, eyebrows look fantastic, nose variety, the variety of things you can cover the face with is amazing and they all look good, facial hair looks good, Hijabi option Cons: Not great for character making, not a ton of facial hair variety

Heart Hold Character🧕

Pros: Cute concept, skin tone variety, expressive, hijabi options, hair variety Cons: only two eye options

grumbot maker

Pros: Grumbot, variety of screen options, lots of mustaches, mumbo and grian Cons: None :)

ぽやぽやばぶちゃんメーカー

Pros: Heterochromia, decent hair colour variety, cute clothes, Cons: Zero skin tone variety, only straight hair available, not a lot of clothing colour variety,

◆ PROFILE MAKER ◆🧕🌈♿

Pros: An insane amount of skin tones, different undertones for all skin tones, hair texture variety, facial hair variety, wrinkles, hearing aids, Cons: Would love more hair options, shirt variety is lacking

[jedusaur]

Recs: Clint/Bucky fics with 200-500 kudos

after going through the entire Clint/Bucky pairing tag on AO3, I did a recs post for my favorite fics with under 200 kudos (a range covering more than half of the works in the tag) and now I've decided to do one for fics with 200-500 kudos (another ~quarter of the tag). there are 36 pages of fic with more than 500 kudos, so I figure most people won't get to these on a casual binge.

What Spring Does With the Cherry Trees, by @bittercape (32k) Bucky moves into Clint's apartment building and starts working on figuring out what he likes. this one has that lovely chill vibe where they both kinda know where their relationship is heading and neither of them is in too much of a rush to get there, which is my absolute favorite kind of slow burn, and there's a lot of focus on reflection and healing and self-care and just hangin out being comfortable with each other <3

You Can Never Go Home Again, by @flawedamythyst (49k) Clint and Bucky get sent back in time to 1939, and Bucky slowly unlearns his internalized homophobia and realizes that the "just two straight buddies helping each other out" handjobs they've been exchanging are not actually straight. I did a literal double-take when I saw how few kudos this had, it is one of my favorite fics in this pairing and it has the single hottest first kiss I have ever read in my entire life

Delicate Tension, by @feedmecookiesnow (53k) beautiful, quiet, sweet, sexy road trip fic, with lots of pleasant imagery in Bucky's photography and a satisfying slow-ish burn that resolves about halfway through so there's some nice early relationship navigation too. the tags are accurate but don't really convey the vibe of it, the trauma stuff is fairly low-key and the general feel is uplifting. also, the choice of tattoo on Clint's ass is INSPIRED, just an absolute *chef's kiss* bit of characterization there

Days That Used To Last A Lifetime, by @there-must-be-a-lock (10k) in which Clint is a dog walker and Bucky is a shameless flirt and both of them are a hot mess and do a lot of recreational drugs and end up murmuring secrets to strangers at ass o'clock in the morning in someone else's apartment

Sequestered, by @lizabethl (38k) in which Clint and Bucky are separately sent off to the same beach house for a much-needed vacation, then hop back on duty just long enough to temporarily acquire a child. deals with some tough stuff but it's mostly about healing and connection and growth

Hydra's Bite, by @flawedamythyst (118k) Buffy AU with a long piney slow burn and great found-family vibes. Clint is the Xander who rescues Bucky from a nest of hydras, Natasha is the Slayer, Coulson is kind of the Giles except undead, Jarvis is the ghost butler, Bruce has a demon living in him, and Tony inherited leadership of the Watchers' Council from his dad. also there's a running joke about all the demons Clint has fucked XD

quickly dream away the time; and then the moon, by @cloud--atlas (16k) Clint is housesitting Tony Stark's mansion in the Hamptons when Lucky gets through a hole in the hedge and makes friends with the hot rich neighbor

Gonna Be My Girl?, by @mightymightygnomepriest (46k) Clint and Bucky hook up while Clint is dressed up as a schoolgirl for Halloween, then they both make some assumptions they shouldn't be making and Clint keeps fucking Bucky in girl mode only. I'm not generally a fan of this kind of miscommunication-based plot, but this one really worked for me

The Middle of the Story, by @lissadiane (13k) look. I know you're gonna read the tag "Clint is literally a unicorn" and immediately want to roll your eyes and close the tab. I know. just... *takes you by the shoulders and looks intensely into your eyes* just trust me, okay

Personal Security (Let's Go Steal Ourselves a Remix), by @supervillainny (8k) Clint develops an inconvenient crush on the head of security at the art gallery he and Nat are about to rob

Boris the Soviet Love Hammer, by @bittercape (11k) the title/tags/summary make this one sound way crackier than it is, it's just a fun get-together fic with a few shenanigans. the part where they're fighting bad guys and Steve goes "Hawkeye, NO" and Clint is just like :D "Hawkeye yes" :D made me laugh very very hard

Universal Constant, by @mariana-oconnor (16k) Clint gets knocked into another dimension where Bucky is a stripper, bangs him, then finds that dimension's Clint and bangs both of them together. A+ no notes

how do you want me, by @feathers-and-cigarettes and @sevdrag (6k) deliciously twisted hookup-turned-attempted-murder-turned-back-to-hookup

All Bark, All Bite, by @hawksonfire (6k) he was a werewolf, he was a vampire, can I make it any more obvious

[piney-45]

WELCOME STARLINGS! 🫶

my name is el but you can call me piney :)

i’m a gnc guy and i use he/him pronouns.

i’m gay (mlm) and demisexual

neurospicey ✨

i’m an artist, theatre kid, musician, dog fanatic, and massive nerd.

i post mostly about music, mental health, or my latest hyperfixations >:) most posts are just rants tbh

i speak a good bit of spanish so you can feel free interact in both spanish or english !

also im a minor!

this blog is safe for ✨everyone✨ unless you’re a bigot. if you’re a bigot, leave <3

otherwise, i love it when people send me asks or dm me!! fair warning i am aWfUL at responding (sorry T-T)

will add content/trigger warnings as needed

my chaotic tagging system here

tone tag guide here

love you all, stay safe out there!

- piney_45

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

Today we shame Bingus McDingus the Wondercock for pecking straight into the heart of my cutey Texas thru my sweatshirt. His damage to my calf piece isn't as obvious cuz it's mostly healed, but I stg this feathery douchebag must be in cahoots with my lil ol grandma the way he wants to come at my ink.

Artists involved: @doktorventure @roosterpop @royalgryphon

[enverni]

Thankyou so much @orbitingplutoinmysocksleepingbag @crayonssmellgood and @ticcywhaleshark <33 for tagging me in @someluwritingghost's loving hour post and sorry I didn't reply sooner :))

@shototooru @amillionnames @zombiesoufle @iwillbehauntedbymactionsforeverr @angerycat @melantoriori @dakry @sorebelflowerr @azurewitch @astrangersociety @panic-like-the-disaster-you-are @meloncholic-bookworm @pinkypie1209 @everythingwillend @yoshispring @faerie-of-fallen-dreams @thuidium-delicatulum @sharm-the-shark @2xhbergggg @jochronicpessimist @unendiverse @pessimist-felix @letters-from-december @messy-emo @i-have-no-idea-111 @ticcywhaleshark @dreamingofyouinseattle @confuseddoatmeal

@wantmeifyouwantme @red-a-world-about-to-dawn @phoebus-apollo-stan @stewpid-soup @borderline-outcastt @ohthatsnew @error404-charlienotfound @paulisbloggingsomewhere @patiencekills-solitaire @teal-robin @this-is-emzy @writingandwritten @butterfliesareamyth @orbitingplutoinmysocksleepingbag @v4nillaskies @kitskat7 @effysdiarystuff @dahiasposts @ilikemonster666 @loulooserr @inversemitosis @piney-45 @myfloreanfortescue @vicsvoid @older-sister-magic @elihoneybee @frxncesx @one-of-them-queers @solitary-pelican @sodium-bitchh @nekole @musicatnightt @my-name-is-alex-okay

@goldenspringx @the-queer-demon @godd-3-ss @solitarilykyu @localtorispring @theresnothinglikethis @elijahpleaseshutup @allaboutbethsblog @mangomarmalade13 @toirandchar4life @hershey-the-person @creative-username-lol @ohwelltymps @charsthoughts @sad-awkward-child @drowinginmyownabyss @itsfunnybcuzitstrue @believeinavocado @lyssified @doepedip @sapphium @eepybubble @crazylesbianpanic @ms-anthrope-cellaneous @ghost-under-my-bed @ashtreefrog

@downbytheriversside @bitterliked1etlem0nade @dead-aroace-elias @chronic-stressed @poetawritesdeath @din0s-in-space @heartstopper-is-my-life @nellysview @sleepy-vix @over-rated-cheese @themaxbyers @rainydaysonearth @virtualpeachhoundwobbler @simplykarl69 @nowmemoriees @lexamushexamus @noromo35 @planetsoupo @writingallthetimee @catsarestupidinagoodway @elleaasv @yesterdayorcenturiesbefore

@sillylittlecheeto @bluesandwhich @plutoisnotaplanet42 @autisticnotartistic @queenofcrazy27 @beau-byers @nicknelsonblog @imactuallyagiraffe @henrythepug @headempty-heartfull @sadnesstown @canonsunkmyships @bylergivesmelife @sweaters-on-a-rainy-day @polishedgnome @cl3ssic3lshiftxr @saturnisaprettyplanet @person4924 @literally-maria @cheesepizzabro @reversepossum @alastairisgay @ghost-inspace @gaymushroomvibesc

That is all 137 of my beautiful followers. Whether you only know me because you followed me back, have no idea when or why you followed me, haven't interacted with me in a while, interact with me all the time, know me well or have no idea who I am, I love you so much and you are so loved and appreciated by me <3 You all give me so much joy and it's just so crazy how this blog was only started in 2022, without the intent of getting followers, and now has a whole army of lovely people. I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️

Tumblr couldn't post this on the existing chain for some reason, probably because it is so long, but I just need to let you know how much you guys matter to me <33

(don't feel pressured to keep the chain going btw, this is just me showing my gratitude, but if u want to, tag your favourite Tumblrs or some people who you think deserve some love!)



[lokidokieokie]

Fic Recs

Hello hello hello! It is that time of the week again my lovelies! Take a glimpse blow to cut to find my fic recs for the week of 14/11 - 20/11!

Loki Laufeyson

Sunday Worship by @lokisgoodgirl

A Piece of Heaven by @fictive-sl0th 

Poker Face by @mochie85 

Need You by @acciotherapists 

Get Over Him, Not Under Him by @lykaonimagines 

Oh No by @lykaonimagines 

It’s Not Your Fault by @stupidthoughtsinwriting 

Mischief by @donaweasley 

Tale As Old As Time by @michelleleewise [masterlist linked]

By The Light of the Fire: Winter Warmers by @lokisgoodgirl​

The New Sorcerer Supreme by @muddyorbsblr​ [part 1[

The New Sorcerer Supreme by @muddyorbsblr​ [part 2]

I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas by @joyful-enchantress​ 

Tom Hiddleston

Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing by @lykaonimagines 

Oh Crap by @lykaonimagines 

Prank Gone...Right? by @fanficshiddles 

That Voice by @fanficshiddles 

Jonathan Pine

I Won’t Let Go by @holdmytesseract 

Stephen Strange

I Don’t Get Jealous by @girl-of-many-fandoms 

Just as Important by @lykaonimagines 

Wall of Text by @lykaonimagines 

Sherlock Holmes

Deep Water by @starks-hero 

Perfect Sync by @obsesswriterepeat 

Unintentional Mystery by @fool-who-dreams

Personal by @annesthaeticc 

Sentiment by @goldencherriess 

The Bet by @belleinhell 

Please show these amazing authors some love by commenting on and reblogging their posts! 

See you all next week for more recommendations!

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Prologue

In this post I announced two new series, this is the Jax x Reader one. It borrows heavily from the TV show Bones and characters for The Punisher. It will also take a lot of plots for these two posts 1 2

Series Masterlist

Warnings: The reader's Brother is described, but it won't have any impact on the reader's appearance (I don't want to spoil more). This is a Clay hate blog and it shows right away, a one sentence reference to sex offenders.

626 Words

Comment if you want to be tagged in this series.

You've spent most of your adult life in and out of war zones, and you've worked with the US military to identify terrorist and dead GIs. Sick of all the death and pain you chose to leave fieldwork and go back to historical research. When your little Brother leaves the Marines and settles in a small town, you decide to follow him. Will you find a home in your small, underfunded Musume job and your Brother's found family? Or will life with the Club just be another war zone?

"The new guy is starting today right?" Jax's voice moved across the garage into the office.

"Yeah, Samuel y/l/n. He should be alright if his references are anything to go by."

*************

The new guy was huge, big, tall, and board with biceps the size of tree trunks. He had sandy blond/brown hair cut into the traditional high and tight of the Marines. Light brown eyes and skin tanned from years in the Sun. He seemed overly zipped up, like the sky could start falling and he'd just shrug and find a way to fix it.

"You don't talk much do you?" Clay's voice was short and judgemental.

"I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea is all." Sam was still filling out paperwork when Clay spoke, he had only been there half a day and hadn't had time to get to know anyone.

Not a good sign

"Do you ride?" Jax's tone was neutral.

"Yeah, I've got a 1939 El Knucklehead at home."

"Shit, man! How did you come by that?" The garage had suddenly gone quiet. Tig was still starting with his mouth open.

"My older Sister y/n got it for me as a gift for finishing basic training."

More silence, and then Clay pipped in again.

"Some Sister, huh?"

Sam started shaking his head.

"Not really, she hates them with a passion, calls them 'machines of death and skin graphs'. The day after I got it she made me attend an autopsy of a guy who had laid his bike down after speeding without a helmet. Then she told me if she ever caught me without a helmet breaking or the road rules, she would give my organs to someone who actually cared about them"

"That's a bit harsh" ok, he really didn't like Clay.

"Not no bit, she just wanted to make sure I was mature enough to undersand the risks I was taking. She's always been very.... adult."

Clay seemed to accept his response, however he could tell that if you and Clay ever met, it would be icy at best.

"Wait, how did she get you into the morgue?" Juice was fast demonstrating he was the smart one.

"She's a forensic anthropologist." Sam was careful not to give too much away, you were a private person.

"Which is?"

Google it old man.

"She uses someone's bones to identify them and how they died if their bodies are too damage or decomposed to identify them by normal means."

Tig chimed in.

"That sounds fun."

A few days earlier

"Are you excited for your new job?" Sam could hear the occasional bang of gunshots over your voice.

"I guess so, why don't you tell me how your background check turned out?" his tone was affectionate but accusatory.

"Ok, they're clearly into some shady shit. But no sex offences or domestic violence convictions, not that the paperwork is anything to go by."

Crack

"Sorry about that, our mercenary babysitters don't really know what they're doing."

Sam wasn't worried, if he worried about you when you were overseas, he would never stop.

"One Mr Clarence 'Clay' Morrow and a Mr Piermont 'Piney' Winston served in the Corp in Nam, and one Mr Filip 'Chibs' Telford was in Ireland during The Troubles, no other former service members."

So the K-Bar on Jax's hip wasn't his.

"That's about it. I want you to make your own mind up about them so I'm not giving you anymore details."

Sam huffed.

"You can be very frustrating sometimes, you have the knowledge of everyone's shady dealings at your fingertips and you choose to use your power responsibility?"

"Yes, Sam. Make sure you iron your shirt when you go in, you want to make a good first impression.

Part 1

I hate this so far but it's going to take a while to develop the story I'm really sorry if the dialogue feels stilted.