#perpollo incorrect quotes

[athenaareia]

the archer and the knight incorrect quote inspired by my latest installment:

Apollo and Rhea, many years in the future, seen through a Seven reunion-

Annabeth: so how drunk was he?

Rhea: well... he asked me if I was single. I said no.

Piper, leaning forward: and then?

Rhea: Apollo started crying, so I felt bad.

Jason, who is HERE for the gossip: so what did you do?

Rhea: I reminded him I wasn't single because I was married to him.

Frank: so everything turned out fine, right?

Rhea: well... after I told him, he went to find our marriage certificate and tried to destroy it-

Hazel: why?

Rhea: saying "good luck returning me without the receipt!"

Leo, as a screwdriver falls out of his mouth: no freakin' way

[relovaaa]

Artemis: I do NOT have a soft spot for Percy!! Demos: When Percy and Apollo started dating, you gave Apollo the shovel talk. Artemis: Well, my brother has a literal garden of lovers, obviously it was necessary! Demos: Not to mention, when Apollo visits, you go outside of your tent to greet him and you never let him stay long. Demos: Percy has a bed inside your tent for whenever he visits, and he's stayed with you and your Hunters for weeks on end. Demos: Just admit it, Arty. Artemis: No 😒

[luciajacksonpapadopoulos]

Apollo: I’m starting a charity, would you like to donate to the cause?

Percy: What’s the cause?

Apollo: To make an accurate godly paternity test so we can hold deadbeat gods who misses the thirteen year age limit of claiming their demigod kids accountable once and for all

Percy: You got me hooked. Here’s all my life savings. Now tell me every other way I can help

Apollo: Well, it would be a great help if you could get your dad onboard. We could discuss details over dinner

Percy: Great! Guess we have a date then

[dannygonz08]

Incorrect #12: The Search Party

Note: Inspired by @anotheroceanid 's Athenide AU and loosely based on a scene from The Swan Princess.

HERMES: You’re not still thinking she’s alive, are you?

APOLLO: When I find Perse, Hermes, when I find her, I’ll have my proof.

HERMES: Apollo, you’ve searched everywhere. Olympus, the Underworld, Poseidon’s fish tank—

APOLLO: There was a dolphin in there. I thought it might have known something.

HERMES: The whole pantheon knows she’s gone.

APOLLO: The whole pantheon is wrong. Perse is alive, and I’m going to find her.

HERMES: You do realize you’re the God of Prophecy, right? Have you—oh, I don’t know—checked?

APOLLO: That would ruin the dramatic tension.

HERMES: And you’re also the God of Logic.

APOLLO: Exactly. And logically, if I refuse to accept that she’s gone, then she isn’t.

HERMES: …That’s not how logic works.

APOLLO: (ignoring him, dramatically stepping onto the balcony) Animals, assemble!

(A majestic raven swoops in, landing on his shoulder. A wolf pads up and sits beside him, looking unnecessarily intense. A swan gracefully lands in the fountain. A dolphin dramatically flips out of nowhere, splashing Hermes.)

HERMES: (spitting out water) Oh great. The ultimate search party. A bird, a dog, a wet chicken, and a fish.

APOLLO: They are my sacred animals, Hermes. Show some respect.

HERMES: And what’s the dolphin going to do? Detect her with echolocation?

APOLLO: …Maybe.

HERMES: (gesturing at the swan) And this one? You think it’s gonna serenade her back to Olympus?

APOLLO: If necessary.

HERMES: (pinching the bridge of his nose) I swear, if you just used your actual powers instead of forming a divine petting zoo—

APOLLO: I will find Perse, and when I do, you’ll regret doubting me.

(The raven caws ominously. The wolf suddenly stands up, ears twitching. The dolphin lets out an urgent series of clicks. Even the swan looks vaguely determined.)

HERMES: (watching Apollo’s animals actually act like they’ve found something) …Okay, what the actual Hades.

[sodamnbored]

Percy, enjoying summer vacation: That’s seven glorious days without a crazy person in my life.

Apollo, rolling up to his front door: Percy! I need your help!

Percy, sighing: It was nice while it lasted.

[dorimei]

apollo: wheres nico? will: he said something about buying a flamethrower. by the way, where's percy? apollo: i don't know, probably with nico. and don't you need to be over 18 to buy a flamethrower? will: oh gods apollo: oh no

[panevanbuckley]

Percy: a mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Percy: and I started thinking.

Percy: like, it was just trying to get food.

Percy: what if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Apollo: are you ok?

[athenaareia]

yet ANOTHER archer and the knight incorrect quote:

Apollo: going to pick up my wife from her murder trial.

Apollo: of course she did it. Why do you think I married her?

[relovaaa]

Apollo: Nice hands, Percy. Percy: Uh... thanks? Apollo: I bet they'd look better wrapped around my- Triton, not wanting a repeat of Rhode and Helios: wrAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE PRAISE THE LORD AMEN *douses Apollo in white-hot water* Aristo: Triton you are literally a Greek god, I don't think you can be saying that... Triton: PRAISE THE FUCKING LORD ARISTO *grabs Percy and runs*

[luciajacksonpapadopoulos]

Apollo: It’s our favorite time of year!

Percy: We got the knives,

Apollo: We got the mannequin dressed as a Roman emperor,

Percy: Rock paper scissors, winner gets to stab first!

[dannygonz08]

Incorrect Quote #24: Runaway Bride

Note: Inspired by @anotheroceanid 's Athenide AU and loosely based on the "You're Too Good For Me" Tiktok. https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSryb5F7b/

[Scene: In a garden in Olympus, decorated for an over-the-top wedding. Perseleia is running in full bridal regalia, kicking off her heels. Apollo, radiant and panicked, is chasing after her, laurel crown crooked.]

PERSELEIA (shouting over her shoulder): I can’t marry you! You’re too good for me! You’re too nice!

APOLLO: I—I’ll be less nice! I’ll be smug again! I’ll make more sun puns!

PERSELEIA: Your gifts are too specific! You gave me a wolf when I was sad!

APOLLO: I’ll just get you a gift card! For ambrosia! Or blue milk! Whatever mortals drink!

PERSELEIA: You’re emotionally supportive!

APOLLO: We can work on that! In divine couples therapy! Hera has a side gig!

PERSELEIA: It’s the domains! You have too many domains!

APOLLO: I’ll quit! I’ll give up sun-chariot duty!

PERSELEIA (spinning, wild-eyed): I can’t do it, Apollo. I can’t!

APOLLO: My mom likes you too much! She called you her favorite!

PERSELEIA: No—you’re—you’re too in love with me!

APOLLO (gasping): So are you!

PERSELEIA: You’re too committed!

APOLLO (desperate): We could be poly!

PERSELEIA (dead stop): What?!

APOLLO: I mean—you could be Polly! Polly is a great name! For a bird! Or a plan!

PERSELEIA (running, glaring, breathing hard): Godsdammit, are you not running after me right now?

APOLLO (jogging after her): I am! This is me! Running! For love!

[Pan to Artemis, facepalming in the background while Hermes and Arsinoe place bets.]

[sodamnbored]

The Hidden Oracle:

[ironmischeifgoddess]

Percy: Hey can you turn on the light?

Apollo: You’re the only light I need in my life

Percy: Apollo, I can’t fucking see

[athenaareia]

wake up babe chapter 21 dropped. in the beautiful words of @scarlet-sam-chaos

apollo: born to say 'i'm yours', forced to say 'i'm your doctor'.

[athenaareia]

and phew. the last chapter of the hunger games au. we've come pretty far. and it wouldn't have been possible without y'all.

jason, to the camera: thank god it's over. watching them pine every day… kym, also to the camera: sometimes you just wanted to push them together like dolls artemis, to camera: and scream KISS will and nico: and we made it happen. leo: did you though? *camera cuts off* *screeching is heard* *sounds of hazel's Disappointed Sigh TM*

(and they lived happily ever after.)

[athenaareia]

the last chapter of angst- ahem, chapter 25 is here!

poseidon: *opens mouth* will, internally: i will be calm. i will not interrupt this. i will not call him anything. i will listen to and understand his side to disagree with it properly.

bonus: hestia: they're asking me to lead, i'm doing the best i can, to get the people that i need, i'm asking you to be my right hand- hera: treasury or state? hestia: i know it's a lot to ask- hera: treasury or state hestia: to leave behind the world you know- hera: madam, do you want me to run the treasury or the state department?