#perhaps not for much longer though lmfao

[lilipens]

✧. A LITTLE BIT OF REST.

Synopsis: Academics have been gradually taking a toll on you, with each assignment and exam building on the last. Lately, it’s become more noticeable—how the stress chips away at your energy, leaving you drained. They’ve started to pick up on it, and each in their own way, they try to cheer you up. Pairing: All Dorm Leaders/Housewardens (Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, and Malleus) x Gender Neutral!Reader Warnings / Genre: N/A. Super duper Comfort, Fluff + Headcanons A/N: highly self indulgent LMFAO. not proofread sorry,,,, also just a quick heads up that i'll probably be posting during sundays more often due to school!

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS.

As someone who studies diligently and holds himself to high standards, Riddle knows exactly how it feels to be overwhelmed by the pressure of academic perfection. He doesn’t just observe your burnout from a distance— he feels it too.

When he sees you pushing yourself too hard, he knows what’s at stake, and his approach is much more calm yet purposeful. He won’t let you bury yourself in endless work without reminding you of the importance of balance.

Riddle values dedication but knows that pushing yourself too far isn’t strength. When he sees you struggling, he steps in with a clear plan to help you recover and stay on track. Using his own experience, he adjusts your schedule or breaks tasks into smaller steps, making things feel more manageable. His goal isn’t just to make you rest but to help you regain control in a way that feels doable.

Rest for Riddle isn’t just about taking a break; it’s about being productive in a different way. He’ll suggest a short time for reflection, perhaps guiding you through a mindful pause to help you reconnect with your goals and recharge.

Though he’s not one to openly express his own vulnerabilities, Riddle has an understanding of the mental and emotional toll of hard work. He provides you support not through grand gestures, but through his steady and practical care. It’s the small things that matter.

Hunched over your papers, your eyes barely staying open as you try to cram as much information as possible. The hours blur together as the pressure mounts. You don’t notice Riddle until he’s already there, standing by your desk with crossed arms. His gaze lingers on the scattered papers, and he steps forward.

Without asking, he begins gathering your messy notes. As he stacks the papers, he refuses to let the silence drag on. “I’m sure you believe this constant cramming is going to help,” he starts firmly, “but you are wearing yourself thin. This isn’t the way to do it.”

“Oh, come on, Riddle,” you protest, feeling conflicted. “You know I’ve got an exam way too soon… I can’t slack off.”

“The more you push yourself beyond your limits, the less effective you become. You’ve been at this for hours, and it’s clear your mind is no longer functioning at its best.” is what he immediately debates with.

You frown, reaching for your notes— Yet, Riddle moves them away from your grasp and he continues on. “You can’t keep going at this pace and expect great results. You’ll just make yourself worse off in the end.”

His blue-gray eyes lock onto yours as he pauses, his tone softening just a touch but still carrying that undeniable authority. “You’ve done enough for now. Take a break before you burn out completely. I won’t allow you to overdo it.”

You want to keep arguing, but his words settle in your mind, and the exhaustion creeping up on you makes it impossible to ignore. With a reluctant sigh, you do realize that Riddle’s right—you need rest, not more study sessions.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR.

Direct and unfiltered, Leona wastes no time to call you out when he sees you overdoing it. He’s not one for flowery words or unnecessary concern. There’s nothing that can speak louder than his own actions.

And so, he’s able to somehow sense when you’re tweaking out with something, even if you’re trying to push through. His approach is straightforward, helping you reset before you hit your breaking point.

Leona is the type to catch the tiny to huge signs that you’re overworking, and he’ll take action without any warning at all. 

No patience for excuses. Leona doesn’t entertain any attempt to justify your stress. If he sees you trying to power through, he’ll just tell you flat out that it’s not working. Leave it be. He won’t stand around while you waste time on a subject that’s clearly draining you. Instead, he’ll give you no choice but to step back. His reasoning? If you’re going to make mistakes, at least make them while you’re not running on fumes. 

Will let you complain— then call you out. Leona knows that sometimes you just need to vent. He’ll let you grumble and complain about your studies, yet the second you go in circles, that’s where he tells you to quit it. No sympathy, no coddling—it’s just making you know that whining won’t solve anything. That’s his way of caring.

The numbers blur together on the page. Formulas spin around in your head like it’s some sort of ancient language, and nothing seems to fit. You rub your temples, frustration building as you stare at your notes.

“This is insane,” you groan, pushing the paper aside and running your hands through your hair. “How am I supposed to get this in one sitting?”

Next to you, Leona’s sprawled out, his tail lazily swishing and arms behind his head, completely unbothered from how messy your reviewing is. His eyes are closed, looking more relaxed than you’ve felt all day. 

You glance over at him with a heavy sigh. “This is ridiculous. I’m never gonna get this.”

Leona doesn’t even move, but he opens one eye. “What’s the point of complaining, then?” Doesn’t seem amused about your predicament either.

You freeze for a second, your brain scrambling to find some excuse to keep going. “No, well... I just need a little more time.”

“No, you won’t,” Leona states bluntly, which is pretty much true.  “You’re already failing at this point. Take a damn break already.”

You take another look at your lecture and slump back. Definitely not going back to that diabolical thing, so you toss your pen aside. “…Actually, taking a break sounds nice,” you relent, utterly defeated. 

Leona forms a tiny smirk on his face. “Told you.”

You give in with a huff, lying back on the grass next to him. The minute you stop stressing, the thorn on your shoulder disappears and you find yourself, surprisingly, more at peace than you’ve been all day. Leona’s just smarter about these things than you give him credit for.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO.

To Azul, burnout isn’t an abstract hurdle; it’s a problem with a clear, actionable solution. Much like closing a deal, he breaks the issue into manageable pieces, pinpointing what’s been putting you down and offering precise ways to address it.

Support from Azul is as seamless as it is intentional. He doesn’t overwhelm you with constant attention, nor does he ignore the signs of your stress. Rather, he intervenes faintly, leaving a refreshing drink beside you or proposing an unobtrusive break when the strain becomes too evident. It’s thoughtful and calculated, fitting into your routine with ease.

Relaxation is something Azul transforms into an art. When he insists you rest, it’s far from ordinary. He creates an experience: a calming atmosphere, perhaps a luxurious bath, or a lovely massage from yours truly. Every detail is curated to guarantee your recovery is successful

No favors without a price. Azul is a businessman at heart! And although he’s genuinely concerned, he’s not going to help you for free. But this time, his terms are different. What he asks for isn’t payment or a favor— it’s your commitment to take care of yourself properly. Rest and recharge, he insists, are the only things worth trading in this scenario, and he holds you to it.

Even as he maintains a composed exterior, Azul knows what it’s like to hit a wall. If you’re struggling or in need of a break, he’s not one to demand it. He’ll gladly offer his help without hesitation. Whether it’s lending a hand with the task at hand or encouraging you to obviously take a rest, he’s quick to make you feel you’re not left to push through alone.

From what’s happening, Azul doesn’t need to ask what’s wrong—he can tell. He’s already behind you, his hands already working at the tension in your shoulders that weighed as much as the books you had to read for an upcoming test. 

“Struggling, are we?” Azul hums, already knowing the answer to that question. As he continues working the knots from your muscles, his fingers press with intent. “If you think pushing through this fatigue will help you, you’re mistaken.”

His fingers move with an objective, easing the tightness in your muscles. "Rest now, and you'll be able to focus better later," he adds, as if it’s just as simple as that. "Trying to study while you’re exhausted isn’t going to help anyone." 

You feel the tension melt away, and despite yourself, you start to relax. Azul knows exactly how to make you see sense. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s part of the process. And with his steady, gloved hands guiding you, you can’t argue with that logic.

KALIM AL-ASIM.

His positivity is contagious! When you're overwhelmed, Kalim’s first ever instinct is to lighten the mood and fill your space with good vibes. He focuses on bringing joy to the moment to let you un wind.

Recognizes when you need a break and insists on it. Kalim won't just suggest you rest—he'll almost make it impossible for you to say no! Whether it’s dragging you out for a fun activity or turning study time into a game, he’ll find a way to get you to step away from overdoing it tooooo much.

While his energy is usually high, he knows when to tone it down, if you ever tell him to. He’s totally okay with just being there for you!!

Encourages you to let loose. Kalim’s the type who knows when to push you to relax with a little spontaneity. He may not always be able to solve your problems, but he’s great at distracting you from them. Expect impromptu dance breaks or sudden trips out to take your mind off things. Expect a sudden food trip as well.

A signal that you deserve fun and joy. Kalim doesn’t just want you to get your rest—he wants you to actively seek out happiness, even when the work feels unending. His care for you goes beyond just helping you with burnout; he wants you to feel good in every way possible.

Ugh, these mountains of assignments before you feel insurmountable. No matter how many notes you review, the information just doesn’t stick. Kalim watches you with a concerned expression from across the room, clearly not fooled by your focus. And so, he slowly tip-toes his way to you.

Without warning, he’s up and out of his chair, grabbing your hand with a wide grin. “Alright, that’s it! No more homework for you! We’re going to do something fun!” he declares, pulling you up before you can protest.

“But Kalim, I need to—”

“Nope!” He cuts you off, leading you outside to an open area on campus. “You’ve been working hard, and now it’s time for some fun! You’ll thank me later!”

Despite your initial resistance, you find yourself enjoying with his antics. Kalim’s infectious energy is difficult to ignore, and before you know it, you’re not thinking about textbooks or formulas. After a while, the stress that had weighed you down earlier feels lighter, and you realize that, for once, you’ve actually enjoyed yourself.

“See? Now you’re ready to get back to studying, right?” Kalim asks, his smile bright as ever.

You nod, grateful for the reminder that taking a break is just as important as the work itself.

VIL SCHOENHEIT.

Prioritizes your well-being as much as your performance. Vil understands that success isn’t only about hard work; it’s also about taking care of yourself. When he sees you pushing too hard, he steps in with a nudge to make sure you’re looking after your own needs.

Vil knows that sleep is crucial for maintaining your appearance. If he catches you burning the midnight oil, he’ll quickly point out that lack of sleep can lead to skin problems. He won’t let you skip out on sleep, ensuring you get enough hours to keep your glow intact!

Pushes you to strive for excellence, but not at the cost of your health. Vil doesn't mince words. He’ll tell you that while excellence is key, it’s impossible to reach your full potential if you're physically or mentally drained. His tough-love approach aids you to rest guilt-free.

While he ensures everything you need is within reach, Vil steps back when necessary, giving you space while still overseeing that you’re on the right path. He knows when to be hands-off. What he wants is more about guiding from a distance, making sure you’re supported without being smothered.

Takes a no-nonsense step to self-care. Vil is not the one for empty comforts. When he suggests rest, it’s because he’s seen the signs that you’ve reached your limit. He’ll encourage you to take a break in a way that ensures you actually benefit from it. And that’s through mindfulness exercises or making sure you get full hours of sleep.

Feeling Vil’s hands as they gently rub the toner into your skin, you let out a sigh of relief. “You’re not going to retain anything if you don’t take a step back,” he chides, smoothing a serum into your face. “Your brain’s running on empty, and pushing through it will only make things worse.”

You hold onto your textbook weakly, but Vil silences you with a pointed look. “Studying can wait. Focus on yourself now.” He's firm, but the soothing rhythm of his movements suggests he’s already in control, seamlessly switching between products as he guides you through the routine.

By the time the routine is finished, you feel more at ease. All that clog in your brain has been cleansed by Vil. “You’ve done enough for today,” he tells you assuredly. “Now rest and recover. Your studies will be waiting for you when you’re ready.”

IDIA SHROUD.

Even if he's not the best at emotional support, Idia’s way of helping during burnout involves a combo of companionship and gaming. If you’re stressing out, he’ll slide a controller over to you or invite you to join him for a match—it’s for you to take your mind off things and go AFK from your studies for a while.

When you’re pushing yourself too hard, Idia will pull you away from your textbooks by loading up a game that's often Minecraft or some multiplayer game he’s grinding. He doesn’t really say much about your stress, though the simple act of playing together shows how much he cares about your well-being.

His ability to aid is kinda noob-level, like trying his best to lead you out of a burnout dungeon. He might rambles out of thought from time to time, making him worry you’ll get overstimulated. He’s not exactly smooth; still, his effort is there, even if he's not sure himself things will work.

While gaming together, Idia can be a bit of a tryhard, fully immersed in the game and urging you to focus on the mission rather than stressing.

Idia’s version of self-care is a bit unconventional (as if he takes care of himself properly), but if it means getting you to step away from your textbooks and level up the EXP you lost, he’s all in. He’s sure that winning a few rounds or building a house together is a surefire way to recharge.

You're scrolling through your inventory, trying to figure out where you want to build next. A farm? A simple house? Pixel art? The game’s peaceful enough since both of you are in creative mode. You glance at Idia, who’s still kind of lurking, hovering with his controller in hand, but he’s waiting for you to take the lead.

“So, uh... where should we make the house?” Idia asks, trying not to sound too eager but clearly wanting to get into it.

Without much thought, you pick a spot, pointing to a flat area by a river. “Here,” you mutter, a little more focused on building than anything else. “This seems like a good place to start.”

After a few more minutes into the game, you start to gradually get more energetic. He’s quiet now, looking over you as you get more into it. You’re starting to improve, and he can’t help the small sense of relief that washes over him. It’s a little thing, watching you regain your focus and energy. But, it means the world to him.

MALLEUS DRACONIA.

Malleus is keenly attuned to the smallest details, a habit shaped by his nature. His observation picks up on the tiniest shifts in your demeanor—the signs of stress, exhaustion, or when something feels out of place in your routine. He might not constantly show it, but he’s always watching (in a good way).

When it comes to burnout, Malleus is unfailingly gentle. He won’t pressure you into rest, and offers you to step away from what's keeping you in a hassle. A calm walk in the garden becomes his suggestion, a chance for you to breathe.

Malleus knows he does not need to be forceful. He never demands rest, respecting when you prefer solitude. If you need time to yourself, he’ll watch from a distance, assuring you're okay without intruding on your space. His care isn't as obvious, but you know he's always there, guarding you. After all, you are his favorite person.

Having been isolated for much of his life, Malleus is deeply aware of what it feels like to be overlooked or having to mask turmoil. He recognizes when you're retreating into yourself, and without making a big show of it, he makes his presence known. It’s not about asking if you’re okay—it's just how he shows you that you are not alone.

Malleus’ care doesn’t shout; it’s felt in silence. It’s when he talks to you to take your mind off things. He’s not trying to fix you, merely offering light when everything feels heavy.

Ah, finally. Some fresh air that keeps you refreshed. You walk side by side, taking in the breeze. Malleus walks with his usual regal presence, though every so often, his eyes wander, taking in the details of the scenery.

"Do you think gargoyles are more than just statues?" Malleus suddenly inquires, innocent curiosity laced within his tone. It's as if he’s pondering the thought out loud. "I’ve always thought they have more purpose than being mere decorations."

He takes a little peak at you, eyes gleaming with that same intensity. "In my homeland, there are gargoyles that watch over the castles. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re meant to protect the place, like guardians."

He pauses for a second before turning to you again, that soft smile of his still visible on his face. "What do you think, human? Are they just stone, or do they have some deeper meaning?"

It’s a random thought, but you can’t help feeling endeared by Malleus’ strange musings. He’s not seeking a response, just casually sharing what’s on his mind. You're not complaining. This is better than having to study all those lectures again and again.

© lilipens

[hyukalyptus]

saw your reblog about kissing along the happy trail and let out a great sigh bc i could never do that to them 😔

but yeah i believe in kai happy trail and perhaps also beomgyu???

idk if you’ve done this before but what are your hairy TXT hc��s? like where do u think their body hair is most…evident? (does that make sense omg i hope it does!!)

- 🐳

okay girlie let's get into it,, i havent given it like, dedicated thought and i dont have strong opinions developed, other than i love the thought of hairy!txt lmao so i will try to be consistent with my thoughts ehehehe.

cw. lots of hair talk ahead. mentions of sex in kai's, balls, bjs.

so obviously theyve all got pelvic pubes right ? and i know we dont see a lot of their hair but this is if they don't shave/laser it off lmfao. also none of this is real im just being weird as hell about hair.

yeonjun- i think his armpit hair is like a long line ig? instead of it being like a clump in the middle, its like in a line lmao, idk how to explain it BUT i bring treats (sfw link to yj armpit hair crumbs!! its an old pic tho) and i know he shaved his face in that vlog but i feel like he was just doin that to look hot lmao, i dont think he has super intense facial hair tbh. other than that, i think he's typically got the sexiest happy trail ever!! and what i mean by that, is that i dont think his tummy is super hairy, so his happy trail is a pretty distinct line. and its dark and is a literally happy trail lmfao.

soobin- he's hairy!!! and i will not be silenced any longer. thats why he looks so baby is bc that man is meant to have hair. not a ton though. bushy armpit hair, even a little hairy chested i think. like a pretty wide line down the middle of his chest and it spreads over his pecks a little. hairy legs!! >< ugh imagine laying on his slightly hairy chest and rubbin his 5 oclock shadow, just snugglin and cozy wozy <3

beomgyu- seems to be the most facially hairy lol. i could see him having a pretty substantial beard. and a hairy tummy for sure. i know thats not a look for beomie but those are my thoughts lol

taehyun- oooohhh i think his arms and legs are pretty hairy. so rn i dont think he's as muscular as he'd like to be bc if youre super muscley and a dancer, it could cause injuries easier bc of flexibility SO anyway, all that to say, i think when he's retired he's gonna get all muscley and his arms and legs are gonna be all hairy and delicious :p

kai- ok y'all thought i yapped about yj and soob's hair too much well.....i could talk about hairy kai for hours and hours. i think he's the hairiest by far !! omfg. hairy chest and hairy tummy. FUCK im giggling too much. thinking about post-sex kai, sweaty and out of breath, laying on his hairy chest while y'all catch ur breath. thinking about his hairy arms wrapping around ur waist to hug you. i know this is so random, but thinking about rubbing sunscreen into his skin for him at the beach. eheheh. getting on ur knees for him, kissing down his tummy on ur way down AH, playin with his bush before playing with his balls before suckin his dick LOL. but frfr never not thinking about laying on kai's hairy chest post-sex lmfao.

[king-candybug-backup]

What’s your favorite scene so far? Like not just to write but just in general.

Sad, happy, funny whatever, what’s your all time favorite? :D

OOOOHHHHH MAN. I HAVE AN EXACT SCENE IN MIND, BUT CAN’T SHARE IT YET BECAUSE IT’S IN ONE OF THE LAST CHAPTERS. 😂 I’ll give a very brief overview of what it entails, because I feel like the fact that it happens isn’t exactly a spoiler since it’s kind of inevitable given all of Candybug’s general assholery, though I’ll put it in small text in case people want to gloss over it, but basically *cough cough* Vanellope flips her goddamn lid at King Candy (long overdue and well-deserved ofc lmao) and I just can’t wait to get to that part, she tells him off VERY HARD. My favourite scene for sure. :3 (tbh there’s a lot of emotionally painful shit that comes up in that particular set of chapters that I’m just so unhinged and not normal about lmfao CAN’T WAIT TO HURT YOU GUYS MORE <333)

AS FOR SCENES OF THE ALREADY-COMPLETED CHAPTERS THOUGH, MAN, THAT’S ALSO TOUGH TO DECIDE TBH 😂 Chapter 3 and Chapter 8 have been my favourites overall of the published chapters so far, and a couple of my fave moments from those ones was a) Ralph finding out that Candybug’s still alive and the general fallout from that, and b) Candybug reminiscing to Felix and Vanny that he went through Ralph’s mud pile on purpose before coming inside the penthouse specifically to annoy Gene ghfdsgxdhcfgvhbjnkvgf

I also like these two a lot, idk exactly how to explain why I like the second one tbh, but the first one I just find fun and silly lol: 

“Alright, pipsqueak, what exactly did you mean by Cy-bug-related–” She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the beastly hybrid in front of her.  “Hello there!” King Candy chipperly greeted her, adding on a friendly wave. “Why, aren’t you looking lovely today! Is that a new hairstyle? It suits your character model wonderfully.” “Layin’ it on a little too thick, there.” Vanellope whispered to him, an anxious grin plastered across her face. “Hmm, you think so?” He tapped his chin with one claw, eventually nodding in agreement. “Perhaps the hair comment was a tad much.”

I just like the whole vibe of like…

Vanellope: For the love of mod, please be nice.

Vanellope two minutes later: NOT THAT NICE.

Oh, KCB and his fake-ass bitch energy. 😂

And then this one:

For the longest time, it had been so hard to look at him and see anything aside from Turbo, the monster. The arcade’s personal boogeyman. The bitter, vile, heartless fiend that gleefully stole the lives away from so many people, herself included. But, with each passing day, it was becoming easier and easier to see him as Turbo, the person. Someone with feelings and interests and problems… Oh, so many problems. But still a person, like anybody else in the arcade. If she were being truly honest with herself, she hated it. She hated the dichotomy that came with seeing him in this light. She hated the ways in which she could find sympathy for him despite knowing just how undeserving he was of it. Knowing full well all the wrongs he’s done.  All of it rooted in that one particular wrong so many years ago. That one choice that she had never been able to wrap her head around, no matter how many times she’d heard the story. Now, it was time for her to understand. 

BUT HONESTLY I JUST LOVE THE WHOLE ROADBLASTERS CONFRONTATION IN GENERAL AGHSFDGJVBJNK, I LIKE DOING “NARC CRASH” STUFF WITH KING CANDY, IT MAKES MY BRAIN GO BRRRRRRRRRR

There’s also some fun Calhoun + Candybug interactions coming up eventually, and even though they don’t interact a whole lot as compared to the other characters, I love their stupid dynamic and I’m gonna share this one scene from one of the later chapters of Calhoun completely trolling him because it makes me giggle 😂

They sat in silence for a minute or two longer, Calhoun’s head tilted slightly to the side as she watched the Cy-bug eat. One more question had popped into her mind, and though she already knew the answer, she wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to have a little fun at this bastard’s expense. “So… Haven’t laid any eggs, have you?” King Candy immediately choked on his food, hacking and coughing while he tried, unsuccessfully, to regain whatever sense of composure he had five seconds ago. Turning away to jot something into her notebook (and hide the smirk on her face), she commented, “I’ll take that as a ‘not yet’.” “What do you mean ‘yet’?!” Candy’s distraught voice sputtered back, Calhoun trying very hard to muffle her snickering.

I JUST THINK THE FACT THAT SHE KNOWS WAY MORE ABOUT CY-BUGS THAN THE ACTUAL CY-BUG COULD MAKE FOR SOME VERY SILLY TROLLING SHENANIGANS. 😂

[legrzybek]

more rambling time RAHHH (repost cause i decided i wanna make this its own post instead of a reblog)

so,,,,, the info from my previous post,,,,,, it only gives me more thought for this au i have in my head where the spectre gets destroyed in some way and everyone is finally free from this eternal loop. they try to get back to a normal life, which is obviously hard or near impossible for some

azuretime in this au,, with azure no longer feeling all of that hatred that the spectre forced upon him, it doesn't take too long for them to forgive two time. it honestly saddens him to see that the person they once loved so much is like a broken shell of their former self now (and even then, i imagine two time pre-ritual was rather mentally unwell as well. which is why they fell victim to the cult's manipulation and threw away the only person that was there for them.)

i dont think two time would ever truly forgive themself for what they did though :( they still feel as if everything that happened is their fault, no matter how much reassurance & comfort they get from azure, but they do feel a little better

azure isn't entirely free of worry either, they fear that they'll once again become the violent and hateful individual that they didn't want to be. even if the thing that was causing him to be that way is now entirely eradicated, his mind constantly reminds him of the harm he caused against his will. sometimes he thinks that his new form is disguisting, however two time doesn't see a difference; he's honest to god beautiful to them, no matter if past or present. they often help him feel prettier by, for example, decorating him with his favorite flowers :3

i imagine them living in some kind of secluded cabin/small house in the woods. after everything, they're trying to heal in a peaceful place among nature with not a single soul disrupting them. (and also, regular people could probably be a bit frightened by azure's monster form)

azure gets back into botany & gardening, their home and its surroundings are decorated with lots of flowers because of this. two time likes to observe him work & maybe even help him a bit :D they try their best to learn from him (god its so cute to me to think of this big monster guy just gently and carefully tending to plants bless him)

two time could maybe adopt their old name, breeze, again. <3 (a headcanon of mine that i wrote about in a different post)

they also abandoned their dagger. it hurts too much to even look at it. it reminds them of all the horrible things they've done.

even if they both know things will never be the same as they used to be, they're so glad they could go back to loving eachother. they've promised that they won't let anything tear them apart ever again.💖

a bit unrelated but i also like thinking about how nonhuman features would act on characters so!!

azure's tentacles prove to be quite useful for a lot of day-to-day things, they allow him to hold more tools & stuff, grab objects more conveniently, reach higher places, etc.

also. hugs perhaps.,.. teehee,, he could wrap them around two time like some sort of weird blanket LMFAO i think it could be cute nd comfy ^_^ i hc that theyre both touch starved as fuck after allat so. lots of hugs. they need it .ilove when characters hug and cuddle Most peak shit ever ong

two time's wings and tail are able to move, however they're really stiff and doing so is a bit painful. though with some kind of regularly done exercises, they could slowly but surely become easier to move. not like two time cares about the pain anyways cause i think they're rather desensitised to physical pain,, which upsets azure cause he doesnt want them hurting themself </3

also they pretty obviously can't fly with their wings sadly,,, the closest thing they'd get to that is azure lifting them up in the air with a tentacle while they pretend they're a bird 😭 HELP

also,,., azure's hat,,,, i'm thinking that after the spectre Fucking Dies, the hat is no longer connected to it so it's not a vessel for its hatred and control anymore. it's just something that azure uses to verbally communicate. i'm not sure if it's a separate entity/consciousness though

OR it could also simply disappear or be thrown away after the spectre's death, in which case azure would be unable to speak. they could still communicate in other ways such as writing or simply body language

im leaning more towards the first option cause i kinda wanna keep the hat lol

[bethanydelleman]

i wanted to let you know i really appreciate your analyses of austen, there have been many times when an insight of yours helped me gain a new appreciation of the books. if it's OK there's one point on which i wanted to disagree with you though (if your blog isn't the space for that then pls delete this ask!) - i don't think the narrator of persuasion completely and explicitly sides with lady russell over wentworth 8 years ago (or vice versa). yes, anne tells him she was right to accept her advice, but that's not so much a defense of lady russell as it is an acknowledgement of anne's arc in no longer doubting herself and regretting her past actions, is it? after all, the book says "There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong" with respect to wentworth (and mr elliot).

moreover, i'm surprised that not as many people on tumblr (or maybe i'm just not in the right circles) acknowledge the fact that lady russell somewhat projects the image of anne's mother onto her (because i used to see this all the time on JA forums and ancient ao3 comments sections lol); she says to anne: "You are your mother’s self in countenance and disposition; and if I might be allowed to fancy you such as she was, in situation and name, and home, presiding and blessing in the same spot, and only superior to her in being more highly valued!" i think this is a very touching and understandable sentiment (and would it be wrong for me to insert a more modern reading, that lady russell might've had feelings beyond friendship for lady elliot? 😏) but ultimately erroneous because anne is not her mother, and i believe this is where some of lady russell's more irrational objections to wentworth come from: perhaps that he is too manly and wild for the delicate flower that is anne (in her view), but in actuality anne totally wants to hitch a ride on that ship lmfao. this, too, is a very common and realistic conflict between a daughter and her mother-figure i think, and it does a disservice to the text to pretend that lady russell's objections were completely prudent - anne was persuaded for prudent reasons, being the self-possessed young woman she was, but lady russell had other, more shallow reasons in mind, as well!

austen spends a paragraph giving her well-deserved praise, "but she had prejudices on the side of ancestry" and "a value for rank and consequence, which blinded her a little to the faults of those who possessed them." this snobbery is also very understandable for a woman of her time and station imo, but we see the dangerous consequences of it later in the novel - she criticizes benwick for getting engaged to louisa before his mourning period for fanny is up, but at the same time impatiently says mr elliot should hurry up and propose to anne so she can become lady elliot already even though it's only been 7 months since his wife died.

maybe i also think people take wentworth's apologetic self-criticism at the end of the novel too seriously; he says his pride had prevented him from proposing again to anne 6 years ago after he made some of his fortune, but isn't this yet another example of the "hindsight is 20/20" phenomenon that permeates this book? think of how unreasonable and disrespectful it would've been for him to propose again to a woman who had firmly rejected him, with no renewed communication from her showing that she's interested. would he not be another mr. collins? he knows now that anne was not indifferent, that she truly believed her own prudent reasons for rejecting him and wasn't merely turning him down on the whims of lady russell, but he had no reason to suppose it then. i see people compare him negatively to mr darcy, who proposed again within a year of his first rejection whereas wentworth waited 8 - but mr darcy was given a very strong reason to hope that elizabeth now liked him thanks to lady catherine telling him that miss bennet refused to not potentially marry him. this would've been unthinkable for the elizabeth from some months ago, who had rejected his proposal so soundly! wentworth had no such evidence of anne being ready and willing to accept him now. i think his apology at the end of the novel is to show that he, at his core, is not really a grudge-bearing man and that he is more than willing to humble himself for the happiness of his loved one, just as anne is, further confirming that their temperaments are well-suited to each other - nothing more and nothing less. they're the words of a man now engaged to the love of his life, who wishes they'd had even more time together.

thanks in advance if you humored me and answered this long ask, and feel free to delete it if you'd rather not! 😁

I accept all critiques, whether I agree with them or not is another matter.

I disagree that Anne firmly rejected Wentworth and that her situation would be at all comparable to Elizabeth/Darcy or Elizabeth/Collins. She agreed to the engagement first, then was persuaded to break it off, which he knew, at which point she probably also told him that it was for his own good:

Had she not imagined herself consulting his good, even more than her own, she could hardly have given him up. The belief of being prudent, and self-denying, principally for his advantage, was her chief consolation, under the misery of a parting, a final parting; and every consolation was required, for she had to encounter all the additional pain of opinions, on his side, totally unconvinced and unbending, and of his feeling himself ill used by so forced a relinquishment. He had left the country in consequence.

So it wouldn't have been unreasonable for him to propose again, he knew she loved him. He resented her for giving him up and thought it showed she was weak:

He had not forgiven Anne Elliot. She had used him ill, deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she had shewn a feebleness of character in doing so, which his own decided, confident temper could not endure. She had given him up to oblige others. It had been the effect of over-persuasion. It had been weakness and timidity.

That is most definitely a grudge. Now eight years in the future, he doesn't know her feelings, but in Year 6 he had a pretty good idea. Also, I don't think Anne could write to him, he would have to have written to her (by the rules).

Now to Lady Russell, the full quote:

The only one among them, whose opposition of feeling could excite any serious anxiety was Lady Russell. Anne knew that Lady Russell must be suffering some pain in understanding and relinquishing Mr Elliot, and be making some struggles to become truly acquainted with, and do justice to Captain Wentworth. This however was what Lady Russell had now to do. She must learn to feel that she had been mistaken with regard to both; that she had been unfairly influenced by appearances in each; that because Captain Wentworth’s manners had not suited her own ideas, she had been too quick in suspecting them to indicate a character of dangerous impetuosity; and that because Mr Elliot’s manners had precisely pleased her in their propriety and correctness, their general politeness and suavity, she had been too quick in receiving them as the certain result of the most correct opinions and well-regulated mind. There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong, and to take up a new set of opinions and of hopes.

Lady Russell was deceived in Mr. Elliot (and she should have known! they heard bad things about him before), but with Captain Wentworth, I think it's that hindsight is 20/20 thing. He turned out well. He could have been a Willoughby, she didn't know. It's hard not to see this decision in the light of Austen's other novels and agree that they just didn't know enough about Wentworth at the time. Also, Mr. Elliot was a bit blinding in that what he offered was exactly what Lady Russell thought that Anne rightly deserved.

Lady Russell's reasoning was prejudiced in favour of rank, she's kind of like Emma Woodhouse. Elizabeth Bennet also does a cognitive dissonance thing with someone she likes like Benwick/Mr. Elliot (forgives Wickham for clearly being mercenary about Miss King). But even with her prejudices, she was acting in what she thought was Anne's best interest. So I personally think she's not a bad person or wrong for what she did. I don't think we have a full book about how uncertain the lives of sailors can be for us not to sympathize with Lady Russell a bit. Even those last lines:

His profession was all that could ever make her friends wish that tenderness less, the dread of a future war all that could dim her sunshine. She gloried in being a sailor’s wife, but she must pay the tax of quick alarm for belonging to that profession which is, if possible, more distinguished in its domestic virtues than in its national importance.

As for Lady Russell conflating Anne with her mother, that is a valid take, but I think it expands on why Lady Russell tried so hard to keep Anne from entering into an imprudent marriage. Look what happened to Lady Elliot! She was not happily married and Lady Russell would have watched that happen. It's also perfectly natural to want Anne to be finally in a place of honour at Kellynch, given how much Lady R. has seen Anne neglected in that very house.

Anyway, I come off as pretty pro-Lady Russell because she gets a ton of shade online and I usually post against what I usually read.

Thanks for the discussion! Feel free to reply or send me an ask again. I will always give the compliment of rational opposition if it is extended to me.

[basslinegrave]

sonic 3 spoilers (longer - very long thoughts)

just thoughts about something that i would add to the movie

1) i fully expected sonic to take the photo of shadow and maria and later give it to him, since he destroyed everything else and it would be nice like "hey i held onto this for you, might be important" i think it would be a nice way to connect them in an even stronger way. it felt like the rivals to friends was rushed, though shadow seemed to be depicted as more youthful here, i still feel like he would need something more to get through him (but then he def felt something already when he hit tom so it wasnt like a sudden switch or anything)

2) maybe i wasnt paying full attention but robotniks last words came kinda out of nowhere, i really expected them to show at least a little bit of the times stone cared for him. like have him go through the realization and let him feel it on screen a bit longer. maybe he had a moment of thought but i dont remember that. (also it was good but kinda silly in retrospect he really broadcasted it to the whole world 0 shame 😭 just imagining bot from the first movie seeing his future self say that. hed explode)

i would add like 10-20 mins to the movie for this. just let the characters stop for a moment and feel. but then, its a sonic movie. the audience is 5 year olds. it doesnt matter. but i still felt like a lot has been cut or missing? - then again, i need to rewatch it/watch the original to see the original pacing and wording of things. perhaps some things got lost in translation or whatever. i also couldnt concentrate cause someone kept fucking talking over the movie. but what wasnt shown just wasnt shown. also for shadow idk i thought they would go for some brooding scene in the vibe of spiderverse introductions but it went all action but ig they made up for it later i loved the scenes with maria and the stargazing (back when i was into sonadow stargazing was my fave trope for them. stars in general. so this was beautiful. shadow as a falling/fallen star too and in this case it applied to both him and sonic)

3) more music. again this might be just the case of the dubbed version but i felt a severe lack of music? and to me personally the live and learn part felt extremely weak, the orchestral version or whatever it was is nice but here it wasnt hype enough for me. idk, again, maybe the og will feel different but you know. if more of the scenes were treated music wise like the dance ones id be more hyped, i dont like when they use a song but only like 4 seconds of it and stuff. to compare it with an example of what i loved it would definitely be deadpool - the opening fucking slayed and also the like a prayer part. that shit went hard as hell and i didnt even like dp3 that much.

but overall i feel like the pacing was so much better in this one than the second movie and it felt like they actually gave more screentime to the nonhuman characters this time

- this is more critical but there were also parts that i loved and like overall the movie was good, i liked the story, i liked what they did with shadow (i wish they stretched out the tokyo part longer though, that was dope), loved what they did with him and maria, the movie felt balanced enough (but i felt that way about 2 and then on rewatch it was noticeable how many useless human scenes there were so that might change), the gun agents were walking the thin line of being too annoying but it was doable, i loved what they did with walters! also i like wade as a character but this was just enough (people were Groaning when he got on screen lmfao) same applies to the others but i was surprised that was it. so silly

however i still enjoyed 2 more. but this might just be the case of "im super tired, quite depressed, i dont care about anything rn, some ppl fucked me over today and i dont feel good, the vibe is off, i cant hear half of the movie, im too hot and got low bp and keep hearing my heartbeat louder than anything else, and i didnt get a happy ending" rather than "movie bad"

when they revealed shadow in 2 i was jumping off of my seat and gripping the one in front of me. this post creds reveal here was like "oh! okay nice" (<- expected this so 0 surprise or anything)

also for 2 i went in with low expectations and got peak. for 3 i expected better than 2. so i failed myself there

i wish i could say i enjoyed this even more than the 2nd movie. i wish i got back from the cinema just typing out jumbled words and screams on social media like after the 2nd. i got out of this one like "i have to pretend i loved this greatly like i had to do with the fnaf movie" but this was at least better than the fnaf movie to me lmao

fucking sonic prime got more reactions out of me than this movie and i wanted to enjoy it so bad. anyway i need meds or something i ran out of D3 its also that speaking thru me

[gomzwrites]

✧✿✧˖° Chocolate °˖✧✿✧

Hello heLLOO! *waves excitedly over a round table* come come I have tea and dessert for everyone *pulls out a few chairs*

Alright, so. Some of my thoughts first regarding the Academic AU

I wrote this fic longer than intended because I was going heavy with the details and plot

Though I am wondering if this kind of smut is welcome here, because I've let a few of my friends to read it and gotten mix responses, some said it was lengthy while some said they liked it

Personally, I was trying to walk readers through the entire process, and since its the first encounter/$ex scene, I wanted to show the small details to indicate some stuff

Initially I was going to write like virgin reader for the innocent sake. but that will make my fic longer WHEEZE-

I ended up hinting the "innocent" part with the floral pattern on the brief, well I say hint but idk if that was obvious lmfao anyways-

not to say I dont like longer fics, but the longer I write, the more mistakes im gonna encounter (if you can't tell already, i struggle a lot with grammar lol)

In the end after much consideration, ive cut down heavily on the smut and condensed to what we have now and Im okay with it, tho I would like to hear your thoughts (send me anonymously if you're shy, or just comment, I dont bite I promise :D)

Okay, *pours everyone a cup of tea*, some headcannons and notes

So, as you all can tell, there was a hint of mlm there of Price x Simon, not sure how everyone think about it but I for one eat that shit up

Now, I did gave some thoughts about the subjects Price and Simon teach, in the end though I decided to leave it blank because I couldn't be sure

See im from Asia so the education system here is extremely different from the UK/US, and I got kinda confused and overwhelmed with the choices XD so I just left it blank

I was going to write them with STEM majors, but eeerrr Idk, cant really picture Price or Simon as engineer or medicine lecturers(iykyk)(rise up my STEM sisters and brothers-)

Perhaps you can give me some thoughts about it, I was thinking something about History for Price, then something about Linguistic/Statistic/Psychology for Simon

Okay, Gaz also made an appearance on the fic((of course he did, my precious bb)), now for him I have a solid idea to make him Pharmacology based or at least somewhere along the healthcare sector, hence the Dr

I might, also bring Soap in the future, but I dont know how or what his role will be yet (gym tutor? physical therapist?)

Will I make this into a poly thing? Im not sure, probably not XD but I might do a special moment with Gaz bcuz im that bias

oh yeah, forgot add on, but yes there's a reason for the name changes(Mr Riley to Simon) and name that stayed (Prof Price), its just to further show that Price has the power and all the sayings (you know cuz he is the Captain originally so I wanted to bring that over)

You wanna call him John? mmmm that's gonna take some convincing and time >:)

Lastly, some future plans (no promises) - nsfw here

many h0rny, many ideas, many tired

anyways, Im thinking of xreader individually fic(like Price x you then Simon x you separately), then eventually building it up to both of them destroying you in threesome manner (lovingly)

I want. I want to write Price being mEAN YALL-

Like him bullying you and putting a vibrat0r inside you and force you to come out to write something on the board in front of everyone, dialing up the intensity as you try your hardest not to cum right there

or or or or or

thinking about c0ckwarming under his desk- raaasdajdgajdh

then Simon...oh sweet sweet Simon

Im thinking maybe dom!reader, just a maybe.

Riding him until he's a whimpering sobbing mess

Idk if anyone remembered, but u know this part?

:)

yeah, maaaaaybe Simon has that exhibitionism kink

so lets abuse that shall we

thinking of doing it in the car park/in his car, you giving him head under the steering wheel as he pulls down the car window slightly to talk to a student who just wanted to chat

Poor him trying to be calm and steady his tone as his knuckles turned white, hands clammy as you suck harder, not giving a damn if you're going to draw attention

or or or or or or or

going back to the riding part, tying him up with his tie, not letting him touch you as you ride that dick like your life depends on it, you hear him begging and whimpering, bucking his hips up desperately

im very unwell

ANYWAYS, ye so far, these are the only ideas I have atm, but don't expect me to write it so soon haha

If im gonna be honest, this blog was created when I had a massive art block, and then somehow (even until today!!) my soft fics blew up and ye it escalated from there

not really but also- If you see me write a fic, its usually bcuz im struggling with art, likewise if you followed me on @gomzdraws or twitter, you would notice im more active cause I think for me, drawing is easier than writing

im grateful to be able to express in two mediums tho, even tho I suck at it haha

but I do sincerely want to make this into a series, so I thank everyone for being patience with me, I appreciate it

Ogeh, *brings out a briefcase* recommendation time

if you like Prof AUs, then boi do I have some fics for you here in tumblr

Guyfierii has a long Prof series and they're wonderful

mehh141's amAZING PROF PRICE ART IM CRYING-

Shroomie (one of the first few blog I was exposed to when I started reading cod fics :D) made 2 Prof fics as well - sadly I dont think they're active since April because of uni :(

ajhdkadh sleepyconfusedpotato, the god of both being a great artist and oc!fic writer made a post a while ago about tf141 possible Professor headcannons - give it a look if ya interested

that is all from me, and btw don't feel obligated to comment or send me a text or anything!! The fact that you made it till the end is already making me happy :D thanks for reading my babbling and points LMAO

Have a nice day/night friends :)

[general-kalani]

Joseph's abilities (this is completely my own shit no one look at me LMFAO-) will add to this more in the future. Will also appreciate judgement on these because they're not 100% final

~`~

Pre-Far Cry 5 abilities: -> Speaking to the dead is one of the earliest known abilities Joseph has unknowingly used. Though mostly used for the recently departed for short moments in time. This was however 'beaten out' of him shortly after he talked about it.

~`~

Far Cry 5 abilities: -> Can see "auras" of people. Though they're only faint shapes, the intensity of them or colour can show what they are to him. A werewolf will have a bigger aura, a demon will have a red one, vampires have a really intense and dark aura.

-> Hearing the Voice means to some extent he can hear ghosts. Kinda fucked up when you think about it.

-> When someone is dealing with a headache or something mental that causes them pain, he can kiss their forehead and give them temporary relief for a few hours.

-> Though he gets his Visions from the Voice, it can't be denied how accurate and how detailed they are. Yes he uses them to further his cause but 90% of the time they're a warning (such as the off-handed line from Jacob saying "you did everything he said you would")

-> He can see when someone is hung up on trauma and he can place his hand on their chest (over their heart) to help them lighten the burden on their heart temporarily. Lasts an hour or two but if continuously done it can potentially help someone permanently.

-> Has to some extent shown he can heal wounds. Although the wounds heal on the person who received them, he takes on the wounds himself.

-> Telekinesis is one barely anyone will notice but has shown itself in the fact things will only move under intense emotion. He's yet to get a handle over this power.

-> Immunity to fall damage is the most bizarre ability of his that most would not expect yet has very little use in practical terms.

-> The ability to smite his enemies from a distance out of a mix of anger and frustration, it appears to come down as a very bright, yellow lightning strike. During this time his eyes appeared to glow a yellow-ish white. Some time afterwards if trying to interact with him and touch him, there will be a 'static shock' to whoever attempted it.

~`~

New Dawn abilities (This is thanks to the apple stuff lmfao): -> His "aura" reading gets such an upgrade to the point of actually making out everything in detail. Werewolves forms are completely shown to him, vampires still retain their dark aura however their physical form is shown to him. Demons can't hide behind their human disguise to him.

-> Inhuman strength (picking up his SON for example) which makes for a surprise since he's still thin as all hell.

-> His Visions are much more intense. What could last hours for him might just pass for a few minutes. Happens most during prayers. Uses this to try and avoid what happens to Ethan to little success.

-> Although it hasn't been truly seen yet, it's been rumoured he has been teleporting, appearing in places faster than should be possible. No one has proof of this happening however except the New Edeners spreading such rumours.

-> The healing of wounds no longer makes him take on the wounds from the victim, when he heals a wound it is completely healed with no negatives afterwards.

-> Telekinesis is far better under control to the point he can pull items or people to himself. Although it does become uncontrolled when under intense emotion as before.

-> Telepathy is a new ability for him that has yet to really make an impact, however he has been living in the mountains for a long, long time so bringing him back to civilisation of his people will perhaps prove detrimental more than helpful.

-> Projection is another new ability for him, being able to appear at distant locations while being in another, disabling the need to have Cain or anyone else to act for him. Though it takes a heavy mental toll and he can't keep it active for more than a few minutes straight at a time. He also appears to be able to handle and shoot weapons while projecting as well.

-> His talking to the dead ability resurfaces here, being able to not only talk to them no matter how long deceased they were but also visit where they are and hold a conversation for a while. But he's still getting used to it, and things can still go wrong.

-> An ability that hasn't been on the radar before until now has been one that prevents death. He can act dead, go down to a shot but he'll always come back up. Blood will, however, still stain him even if he's survived a gunshot or otherwise.

[vrisrezis]

Yo so I saw ur campus au yan Geto and holy shit I'm interested. Tho, I wanna know how you see yan! Geto looks like in non-campus au like the normal au where they gotta deal with the curses n shits

I think he’s pretty much the same except 10x more protective given the curses situation. It depends though on the personality you have. I think geto (before he defected) would be very set on protecting you cause you’re a god to him. He’s not only your loyal servant/slave, he is also a bodyguard. As a result would be protective even if you can handle yourself, but if you tell him off he 100% will only jump in when you ask. Cause like.. he treats your word as law. I don’t think he’d have murderous tendencies toward people, only curses that may hurt you, which is socially acceptable. He keeps his anger and jealousy to himself when it comes to gojo and perhaps any friends you may have had, but once rika dies his protectiveness of you is at an all time high regardless of what you say to him. He’s too depressed and he lost somebody important to him, he truly can’t live if he no longer has you. This only grows worse when haibara dies as well, it’s unbearable how overbearing he becomes, but it’s hard to deny him when he’s clearly going through a crazy depressive episode. And then … he meets nanako and mimiko and decides he’s had enough. He would try to convince you to join him, unlike with everyone else, but he understands if you don’t agree. But he needs to do this. If you say no, he does plan attacks against humans, but any potential fights involving you he will make sure you don’t die or get hurt from. He makes absolute sure you’re never caught in the crossfire (he stalks you now too btw). He wants to create a world without non shamans, to protect sorcerers, to protect you. But he thinks about you a lot.. he wishes you were there alongside him. His obsession for you only grows the more time you spend apart.

Also bonus since kenjaku canonically inherits a lot of getos quirks.. if getos feelings for u were passed onto kenjaku… good fuckin luck lmfao… tough soldier 🫡

[featherlouise]

Idk if you ever mentioned it before, but in Radi fucking dies speedrun edition, how is Hollow's relationship with their mother like? What does she think of her husband's overprotectivness over them?

I think I’ve briefly mentioned it?? I’m ngl I’ve kinda been neglecting WL in like. All my AUs. I need to step up lmao she doesn’t deserve that shit

So!! I’ll try to make this quick lmfao

WL and Hollow’s relationship isn’t strained persay, unlike PK, WL hasn't allowed herself to care for them. She's kinda locked the motherly side of herself away for her own sake, to the point where she didn't even cry at the funeral, all she felt was a distant, detached kind of sadness.

It wasn't until they show up in her gardens a couple weeks after waking up, being dragged by Hornet bc "you PROMISED you'd play with me when u got better and now you're better so PLAY WITH ME!!"

And as she watches them dote on their baby sister, it really hits her that they're alive. They're not the cold husk of what was supposed to be her Child, they are her child. They have been her child for the past 15 years, and what has she done but ignore them every chance she had.

Suddenly a ton of small moments in their childhood were completely recontextualised. When Hornet was a toddler and they'd just stare as WL held her. The way that, when they were really small, when she still thought she could be a mother to the Pure Vessel, even if only in small ways, they'd lean into her touch, just slightly. And then when she stopped trying to touch them, they'd sometimes twitch towards her, in such a small movement that she thought she'd imagined it, as if they were seeking out her touch, her affection.

How is she supposed to make up for years of neglect?? Their childhood is over, they don't need a mother anymore. Surely she missed her chance to forge a meaningful relationship with them.

So. She does nothing.

For 6 months.

During which time, Hollow has begun to crawl out of their shell, show more of their personality. They're no longer afraid to express opinions, and have forged real friendships with the Knights. It's not an uncommon sight to see them running around after their baby sister, no longer bothering with the pretence that "I was told to watch her, so that's what I'm doing."

There is one slight problem though.

There's an infamous story in the palace, of a time when more than a dozen guards came stampeding in to the queen's garden in the palace, trampling over all her flower beds. In the end, the walls of the corridor leading to the gardens had a few more uh. Decorations. Than it had previously.

It took 3 days to free everyone.

Long story short!! No guards are allowed into the Queen's gardens unless they have express permission.

So!! After receiving many complaints via letters, Herrah suggests maybe taking a picnic down to the gardens the next time she and Hornet visit. It's a day free from their guards AND perhaps a way to force their mother to FINALLY fucking talk to them.

It's awkward at first, neither of them know each other particularly well, so Herrah and Hornet carry the conversation. But!! At some point, Herrah mentions Hollow's desire to learn how to garden (something they've offhandedly mentioned a couple of times) and WL practically jumps at the chance to offer to teach them.

Thus begins their weekly lessons. Hollow gets a day free of their constant guards, and they both get to bond over a common interest.

There is, however, the underlining concern that despite how many times they've complained to her about their entourage, she refuses to do anything about it. Surely she could at least try to talk to their father, but the few times they've suggested it, she just brushes them off or changes the subject.

Honestly, to an extent she's glad that her husband is so protective. She's missed so much of their life that now she actually has a relationship with them?? She's terrified of their time being cut short. And there's also a small part of her that's afraid that if they no longer need to take solace in her gardens, the visits and lessons will stop entirely. She can't take that chance.

Regardless, they do have a pretty good relationship by the time the confrontation happens.

"I'lL tRy To MaKe ThIs ShOrT" get fucked past me

[revasserium]

milk anon here! i sadly don't really have any tips or tricks that i know works, because i also fall into periods of creative drought. i don't think it's as bad as what you're going through though. something i am trying to work on is to make sure that i treat writing more like a muscle to be trained (like the age old saying) than something i do when i'm in the spur of the inspiration. however, i know you also wrote as a job, so i'm not sure if this might apply to you as you're probably used to writing on command? regardless, i know it's tough. it's okay if you just don't create for long periods of time too. perhaps this is your body demanding a break? do drink water and i hope you're alright... is it too personal to ask why you cried? are you doing okay? sorry i haven't been that responsive, but i deleted my sideblog and from here onwards i'll tag my asks with my other blog. @milkstore

hi milk anon!!!! its good to hear from you darling <3 and yes -- once upon a time, when i was doing writing for work, i could just kinda like "turn it on" like a switch, but that was mostly because there was a) money involved (lmfao $$$ is great motivation tbh) and b) the plot is handed to me so i didn't have to think/be inspired so it was all in all a pretty different settup.

i'm not too too worried about it bc i've had longer periods than this where i dont really write/output that much, and i've come back from it -- it guess it's just a bit frustrating for me because all those other times its felt like external factors, right -- work got busy, people were visiting, etc etc, but this time its like well i'm not super busy, and there isn't so much going on but i just don't feel like it... LMFAO

re: crying -- LMAO it was bc i watched the haikhyuu movie in theatres and waS SUPER MOVED and i was upset that i couldn't watch it on streaming; i was also in the DEPTHS of my period so... the emotions were running high for sure.

i'm okay tho!!! im on pto right now visiting my fam in california and that always picks me right up <3 i love my parents and being home always feels great -- i already feel a bit more inspired hehhehee

how're u doing !!! what have u been up to? :D <3

[finhere]

The current arc of HftH is going well

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s Drama CD: Track Three, A Date at the Mercy of an Extraordinarily Bad(?) Adult

And we are back with our third installment of this unhinged recounting translation series, to perhaps the funniest and lowkey horniest track on the whole CD. In this one, Comte takes MC to a boutique to try on dresses and select something for a party/ball later that night. Without further ado, the contents are as follows:

Comte: Come on in. This boutique is my favorite.


There is a large variety of designs, so if you see a dress you like, don’t hesitate to give it a try.

Of course, I’m going to have you wear a lot of the dresses I select, so be prepared for that.

Let’s pick a dress for the ball tonight.

From now on, it’s my pleasure to show off the most beautiful person I know.

The way he makes me so giddy, “to show off the most beautiful person I know” no you!!!!! But also like. Lmfao the way he’s so ready for this, you can just tell this is what he lives for and it’s hilarious.

What’s that? Have you found a design that you like?

I…yes, I’ve decided. I carefully selected about ten gowns because I was worried about it.

Huh? ….I didn’t think it was that many….

Well, let’s leave that discussion aside for now and examine each dress in order.

I love how he’s like “okay what did you pick, let’s compare.” MC presumably has like two and he’s like “oh yeah, here’s ten.” And not only that, the second she’s like “uhhhhh don’t you think that’s too many??” he’s like “ANYWAY--” The way he will deadass evade any questions about excess I’m. Iconic. King Shit. Nobody Doing It Like Him. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love how the energy of their married life is like: MC: I did not grow up rich Comte: YOU GON LEARN T O D A Y--

I think one of my favorite bits about Comte is how he’s like “I’m so normal” while everyone stares at him in sheer disbelief or incredulity 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

First off, this is an evening dress.

The beaded embroidery that spreads down to the hem is intended to reflect the light that spills from the chandelier overhead when dancing.

It must be breathtakingly beautiful

It’s a sight I’d love to see….Though…there is the trouble that this dress is dazzlingly attractive. (MONSIEUR IS CONFLICTED)

I feel I have made it clear (but I must reiterate) how much I love him being the living embodiment of that meme like:

Comte: Look at MC!!!! Isn’t she the prettiest!!!!! I love my wife so much!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Anyone: Wow I like her too Comte: kill bill sirens no.

I can assure you that this exotic dress would suit you without even needing to see you try it on.

A sash belt with wide cuffs and a high waist…

It’s similar to a traditional Japanese kimono from your homeland, isn’t it?

And then…a pretty floral dress with a soft/fluffy drape.

Ah...I should probably put this dangerous looking black lace dress away. (HE SOUNDS SO TURNED ON AND LOWKEY HOARSE IM)

Ah…the more I look at it, the weaker I get…I can’t choose because I think any of them would look good on you.

I find it absolutely hysterical that he tries to hide his real taste behind all these very subtle and feminine dresses and then he’s like. LOOK AT THIS. COINCIDENTALLY BLACK AND RISQUÉ DRESS. NOW YOU SEE IT NOW YOU DON’T--

Comte just give me the dress I’m yelling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh that’s right…if I get all of them, I won’t have to choose…! (EXCITE)

Oh, no…haha, I know (IMMEDIATE GIVE UP)

I’m only kidding. (ARE YOU?? I DON’T BELIEVE U SIR)

But since we’re here anyway, do you mind if we look around for a while together?

I don’t know what’s cuter, the fact that he gets so hyped and then sulks immediately, or the fact that he tries to compromise and be there together for a bit longer. I love him!!!!! Mans is trying so hard to dote on her I’m dying

Yes, leave it to me. I’ll make you the best princess in the world.

Well then, let’s go to the fitting room with the dresses we have chosen…Don’t worry if you don’t know how to wear it.

I’ll help you, okay? (DON’T WHISPER I’M FRAGILE)

---

Come now, don’t run away,

At home, you let me tie the ribbons at the back and help you with your necklaces all the time.

Well the setting is a little different, so I suppose it would make sense that you might be a bit more self-conscious.

You’re blushing all the way up to the tips of your ears…you’re so cute.

I’m telling you right now, don’t even think about asking the shop clerk to help you. (EEEEEEYYYYYY YOOOOOOO)

I don’t care who it is, I’m the only one allowed to touch you like this. (SEXY SEXY O//O)

Aight so there are so many things going on here, and the asides barely even cover it all. Fuwa fuwa about the best princess in the world, no u!!!!!!!! My face was in my hands when he said she was cute, he’s so earnestly affectionate!!!!

This. mf. going into the changing room with her. Without hesitation. Sir that is not how any reputable place of business operates!!!!! I laugh even more because he sincerely sounds a bit put out trying to chase her around to let him help her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Okay but that last bit when he’s telling her only he gets to do that stuff. Bruh. He goes lowkey savage and it’s HOT AF. Sultry and possessive inject that straight into my veins h e l l o--

…Don’t worry. No one knows what’s going on behind the curtain unless you make noise. (THAT’S NOT ALL I’M CONCERNED ABOUT SIR)

Now then…turn around and I’ll help you take off the dress you’re wearing right now. (SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP)

…You are beautiful no matter what you wear, but there’s no match for the breathtaking sight of you with nothing at all on… (STOP BEING HORNY IN PUBLIC)

I won’t do anything...If only you were quiet?

Hm? The sound of footsteps approaching…is that a clerk I hear? [audible footsteps in the background]

I’m so torn because like. There’s the half of me that’s like “go on” and the other half of me that’s like slaps his little pizza hands. Being a Comte stan is just being torn between scolding him and/or enabling him constantly LMFAO

Shh…forget other people noticing me, are you all right?

(STOP LAUGHING WHY IS IT ADORABLE) It can’t be helped. If you’re so worried, I’ll cover your lips for you. Mn…

Well…I think he’s gone…[chuckle] I didn’t mean to kiss you in a place like this.

Hm? You’re such a naughty woman…to look so love drunk with a single kiss.

We can continue this tonight…tonight we’ll have our fill. Do you like the sound of that?

I gotta wonder what MC looked like to make him be like “bro, you good?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Behold the consequences of your actions, Comte, you keep wooing and charming her and she’s going to be incoherent by the end omllll. But also him finding any excuse to kiss her eyyyyyyyyyyyy (I will forgive his relentless desire for her because it’s sweet and v sexy, gold star ⭐️)

Also why does that last bit lowkey sound more like he’s trying to bargain with himself than her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 “just be patient Abel. Bide ya time”

----

…Yes, I think this dress looks the best/most attractive on you.

(HIS LAUGHTER SEND HELP THE DELIGHT) I just knew it would look stunning on you.

Ah but I can’t help but pester you a little. Every dress looks so lovely on you.

No, it’s not just flattery…do you mind if I see you in just one more?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard a man who loves to play dress up as much as he does, should I be concerned??

Sir you are under arrest for being beyond silly goofy cute LOCK THE DOORS FETCH THE CONSTABLE--

Everyone at home says it's just a deranged aristocratic hobby or that I’m turning you into a dress up doll…

The loveliness and beauty of my lover, I can’t help that there’s no end to my desire to see you shine even more.

Thank you…I’m glad you at least understand/don’t feel put upon.

Oh dear, it’s about time for the carriage to pick us up. Since we’ve tried a few things on, I think we should start heading over to the ball.

…But before that, I must offer you one piece of advice.

…Don’t show the defenseless face that I see now in front of any other man. (SO SERIOUS HEART FLUTTERY VISION GROWING DIM)

Understand? …Yes, that’s a very good answer.

Well then, let’s go, my princess.

Honestly I do feel that--while it’s hilarious and somewhat fair the mansion men rib him about dressing her up--Comte does have positive intentions regarding the whole endeavor. It was recently brought to my attention by a friend (I can take little to no credit for this idea) that part of being lovers with someone is sharing what you have. Now this obviously doesn’t mean an exacting 50/50 type of thing, rather that part of showing proper care and affiliation can involve gifts/money depending on the situation.

In the case of Comte who is a man of considerable wealth and social standing, it would potentially appear negligent if MC were to appear at a ball with a dress she’s worn before. Part of being a responsible spouse in his context, then, would be to provide her with nothing less than the most stunning jewelry and top class new dresses. While I don’t necessarily think he’s interested in his/their image in a vain way or even all that obsessed with what others think, I do think he’s concerned about being a good husband and lover. And by extension, he wants MC to enjoy nice clothing and accessories and be able to present herself at his side with confident pride.

Another dimension that’s important to consider, I think, is the fact of his upbringing. It is very likely that in his household growing up, that might have been what he was taught. I won’t spoil the next Drama CD track, but there is evidence to believe he has a number of preconceived notions about what it means to be an adequate partner to someone. Granted I don’t think he’s incapable of seeing things any other way, but I think those lessons from when he was a kid do color his perception. He was likely taught that, as a person of status, he had to be exquisitely mannered, exceptionally talented in some form of the arts, a captivating dancer, a sharp and witty conversationalist, and many more expectations that he had no choice but to meet. And most importantly, he had to be able to convey that to and lead the woman he chose for himself. We have already explored the fact that pureblood vampires are a bit extreme and inhumane in their beliefs about many things. Given how weirdly obsessed they are with breeding more of them, it really wouldn’t surprise me if they have absolute ideas about gender roles.

It almost seems like for him to feel worthy of a relationship, he feels the need to meet those expectations. On some level, it’s like he forgets MC is just happy to be beside him; she’s not necessarily all that interested in him fitting the cookie cutter perfect aristocrat spouse. And in truth, I find that whenever she reminds him of what truly matters at the core, it always seems to give him a jolt. Not that he had considered it irrelevant, but that he gets so caught up in his instinctive/learned behavior that it’s a soothing reminder that he’s more than enough to be loved as he is. I think its particularly fascinating because it really doesn’t feel superficial or naive as much as it does a product of his habits/lifestyle. Yes it allows him to stay informed and busy (beating the bad thoughts away with a broom, mood) but he also loses that depth of connection that he yearns for. (Which he also fears, of course, because of everyone he’s lost. Man Comte tough break being allergic to your own feelings fr, spamming F in the chat--)

And God like. I know I’ve said it before but. The way this man does possessiveness/jealousy????? Unmatched. Enormously attractive. Yessir I wasn’t particularly interested in looking at anyone else, but wow does it set me on fire to be reminded sternly 👀

All right well that’s it for track three, on to the next!

[brick-a-doodle-do]

i am LATE because i was going to upload this when i hit 100 followers but now i have more than that so i can’t say that this is for that milestone anymore but STILL have this giant foster oneshot that was initially going to be a random h/c oneshot but for some reason turned into fanfiction of a fanfiction lmfao

also it won #2 in the forms so legally i have to post it /hj

ANYWAY,,,,,

this is frommm @oh-i-need-a-name’s giant foster au but i’d be surprised if you didn’t know what that was by now dsjfhdnf /lh 

don’t fall

words: 2002

tw: swearing, panic, mention of death/injury

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He had been looking forward to getting a good night’s rest in a bed that was fit for a giant rather than a human, even if he wasn’t looking to express his excitement. But, now, as Tommy stared at Wilbur, he greedily came to the conclusion that sleep was entirely out of the picture at this point. The blond hadn’t moved from his spot on the nightstand yet, though he was unfortunately coming to terms with the fact that sitting atop the wooden surface would not be an option for long, for it was both uncomfortable, and a terrible place for him to attempt sleep. Besides, he’d need the help of a giant to shut the lamp behind him off, he’d never be able to reach the switch.

Sighing heavily, almost grumbling, Tommy shifted his gaze down to the pillow resting beside the one Wilbur was leaning against. He stared at it for a long while, debating whether or not he’d be making the decision to soak up the comfort of the white fabric, carelessly sinking into the pile of covered feathers. He wanted that, for sure, but he also didn’t want to risk a conversation full of retorts with the brunet.

Again, Tommy looked to his “brother”.

Then, back down to the pillow.

Fucking hell. It was Phil’s fault – if he’d simply let Techno share a bed with Wilbur, or perhaps had Wilbur share a bed with himself, then this entire affair could’ve been completely avoided, and Tommy would be soaking in the warmth the pillow offered, with a hand he trusted safely draped over his body as he finally got the sleep he’d been so eager to experience.

Unfortunately that was not the case, and he very much had an unfamiliar giant sitting next to him.

As Tommy studied the man for a while longer, taking in the bored expression he displayed while staring at the white hue of his screen, Tommy realized that perhaps he’d be able to get lucky. Maybe, if he found his way down onto the bed while Wilbur was distracted, then maybe he’d get a dialogue-free trip. He fucking hopes so.

Tommy only waits a few seconds after having that sudden thought. He shifts up, eyes never leaving the brunet. He keeps a steady gaze on him as he makes slow, brawny steps towards the edge of the nightstand. From there, Tommy breaks his stare and directs it downwards, where he nervously runs through every worst-case scenario in his head.

And, suddenly, yet another thought occurred to him. 

This asshole of a brother had decided from day one to be a complete, utter dick to him. From yelling, to taunting him, to doing whatever the hell else he managed to do in order to traumatize Tommy in the short amount of time they’ve known each other, Wilbur certainly has made a negative mark on his small form. So much so that every little decision Tommy finds himself coming across, he has to stop and decide which route to choose, simply because a certain brunet might be right around the damn corner.

Perhaps he shouldn't let that fear continue. And…hopefully he won’t die this evening because of this change of mindset.

Tommy huffed, sitting down at the edge of the wooden table. He let his legs dangle as he peered down to where he hoped to land. In between the two pieces of furniture was a small gap. Small for a giant, that is. For a human, it’s a ravine that’s far too high a fall for him to walk out of with little but a minor injury. In fact, he’ll be lucky if he wakes up.

Logically, Tommy knew that the best, and decidedly the safest thing to do would be to ask a giant for help. However, Tommy didn't see that as a good enough reason to wake Phil and Techno up, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. 

He stared down a while more, silently calculating his plan. The only thing he really could do was push himself off and hope for the best, but it still helped his unorganized mind. Kind of. 

Tommy sucked in a breath, looking down one final time before finally pushing himself off of the night stand, falling to what he really fucking hopes to be the mattress. 

But, it seems he overestimated just how far said mattress actually was. Tommy realized this immediately and went into panic, hopelessly grabbing at open air as he descended closer to the ground, closer to death. He let out a gasp of air when his hands finally collided with something that stopped him from falling any further. His knuckles turned white as he gripped onto the sheet blanket, taking rushed breaths while he tried to pull himself up. His lack of strength cut this plan short, though. He yelped as he slipped, the material burning at his hands. 

“Wilbur!” 

Tommy mentally froze at his own words. There were people in this room that he cared for much more than Wilbur, and yet in an act of panic he’d still foolishly called out his name. Tommy let out a string of curses, preparing for the worst as he called out again, “Wilbur, help me, please fucking help me!” Tommy released his grip on the sheet to adjust it higher up, and as he reached with the other hand to do the same, he felt it slip, leaving him dangling by one arm. He put his legs against the mattress and tried to climb that way, and got as far as managing to rise half an inch before the slickness of the bedding undid his insignificant progress. “Wilbur!” he screamed out the brunet’s name. Only a moment later, Tommy was looking down while he subtly watched the large shadow cast over him, and soon after his weight was being shifted onto Wilbur’s hand. He leaned back into the skin, waves of relief crashing over him tenfold. He flexed his fingers out, laughing quietly to himself while listening to his pounding heartbeat in his ears.

As soon the man’s hand stopped moving, though, Tommy was as alert as ever and scrambled up, now having to deal with the fact that he’d willingly let himself be in Wilbur’s grip. Anxiety built back up inside of him. Wilbur shifted around, now sitting where Tommy’d hoped to sleep for the night. “Tommy, you need to be careful,” he murmured, clearly everything but concerned for the tiny, but instead rather mad over the fact that Tommy couldn't help but end up falling, and the only reason he did fall was because he feared Wilbur. 

Suddenly, the movement stopped, and Tommy found two brown eyes settling on him and him only. He scooted back, trying to calm himself by being as far away from that dick as he can be. They stared at each other, both of them too afraid to move. Together they sat in an awkward silence, simply gazing at each other’s features. Tommy noticed the gentle shake in Wilbur’s hands, like he was the one who feared Tommy. But, it was the other way around, very much so. In fact, when he felt that this had gone on long enough and the feeling that the brunet was going to try something, he did the best thing he could: swear. 

“Fucking put me down, don’t stare at me.”

Wilbur sighed, something of irritation showing on his face now that the human had spoken up. Something in Tommy told him that Wilbur might take the words personally and defend himself with more than words, but he tried his best to ignore it. He just sat in the man’s palm, patiently waiting for anything to happen. And, eventually, he felt the world move again as Wilbur’s hand made slowed movements towards the pillow beside them. 

Once Tommy was close enough, he stepped onto the pillow and took a long step away from Wilbur. He watched the brunet subtly roll his eyes and shuffle to turn the lamp off. The two of them remained quiet while they got situated. Tommy eventually found himself reluctantly sitting down despite his undying urge to stand in case something happens, while Wilbur huffed harshly and pulled the covers over him, his back facing the human. Tommy’s eyes slowly adjusted to the dark. They begged to be closed for the night, but he was too aware of everything Wilbur did to even consider sleeping. He simply sat with legs folded, eyes boring into Wilbur’s back. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but soon enough his mind was also buzzing with tire. So, he laid on the cool material and tried to find it in him to fall asleep. However, he couldn’t get past doing something as easy as closing his eyes before they were snapping open again and he was returning his attention back to the man. The brunet shuffled in the bed, eventually stopping only when he was no longer facing the rest of the room, but instead Tommy. His eyes were closed and he looked to be sleeping, but Tommy knew that even if his face looked the part, the giant’s mind was still planning the next “little” thing he’d do to Tommy. It was night, and more importantly dark, the rest of the family was asleep, and Tommy couldn’t easily be seen. Everything seemed to unintentionally go perfectly. Not for Tommy, but for Wilbur.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Tommy tensed, his brows furrowing while his heart rate picked up. He fucking knew Wilbur was awake. But, those words were some he wasn't expecting. Not that Tommy believes them, definitely not; it’s going to take a lot more than a lousy sentence to truly convince him. “What?” he replied quietly.

“I know you think I’m going to. I don’t like you, but I don’t want to hurt you again, Tommy,” Wilbur mumbled, his eyes now opened and staring at Tommy. The blond huffed in amusement, “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but I’m never going to fucking believe you.” 

Wilbur sighed and shrugged, only this time seeming much more relaxed and less irritated than before.

The brunet seemingly drifted off again, and Tommy let himself try to do the same.

But, yet again, his attempt was disturbed. 

His eyes opened then widened when he realized that maybe Wilbur’s words had a bit more meaning than he’d thought. The giant’s hand was draped over him, providing warmth that should’ve felt nice against the chilly air but instead made him feel trapped. His eyes landed on Wilbur, who remained “asleep”. 

“Wilbur, stop,” Tommy tried, but all he got was the hum of the air conditioner; the brunet remained quiet and unmoving. Until of course the man decided to curl his fingers around Tommy’s small form and pull him closer and closer to what he could’ve sworn was his death. However, instead, he was simply tucked gently under Wilbur’s chin, feeling oddly comfortable in the loose fist he was in. Sure, yes, he was in the hands of a guy who’d mentally tortured him for weeks among months, but everything felt so suddenly quiet in the moment that the past slipped from his mind completely. They didn’t say anything for the remainder of the night, especially not after they finally managed to both drift off for the night.

And, Tommy would never admit this, seeing as he still had a facade to hold up and a lingering fear of Wilbur, but even though Techno and Phil weren’t there, he still managed to get the sleep he came there for. In fact, even now as the sun was high in the sky, he still had yet to release the brunet’s forefinger.

Wilbur would never admit this either, but it warmed his heart to know that Tommy cut his fear off short, even if it was just for the night, so he could soak in the comfort of his almost-brother.

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[forbidding-souda]

For another request what about Junko, Mikan, Kaz , Gundam, Korekiyo & Fuyuhiko finding out that they are soul bonded to a Wendigo s/o ? ( Oh btw can it be the emaciated skeletal deer kinda looking interpretation, I prefer & like that one.) - 🐺 Ps - I just realised I forgot to put the wolf emote for the dragon shifter ask oops my bad.

Junko Enoshima, Mikan Tsumiki, Kazuichi Souda, Gundham Tanaka, Korekiyo Shinguuji and Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu finding out they're soul bonded to a wendigo S/O

would like to preface that i am a native american and while i do believe in them i do not believe that typing the word will summon them (though recognize that I'm avoiding it unless necessary just in case LMFAO).

i'm doing the way they actually look so if you wan imagine antlers on it then you totally can. they're still emaciated. they're just furless. and large.

-Mod Souda

Junko Enoshima

❤ Are you in the slow process of becoming one? She probably found out that you were something mythical just by analyzing your behavior. Perhaps your greed has shifted your human instincts - it has made you something more recognizable as other. Junko would probably provoke you, the chance of you being a mythical creature were… slim? Probably? Honestly, she had no idea how likely it is, and she would feel a great despair in learning that her analyzing ability has a fault. Once she learns (or in this case, she figured it out) that the two of you are soul-bonded she sees a great pride in this. She definitely tries to use your negative aura in the same way she uses Mukuro’s military abilities. She has you kill people for her and help her get out of sticky situations.

It drips from your chin, the water now cold, mixed with the chilled blood. She holds no worry, she’s patient, plus you’re content. She has to make sure you’re clean before she kisses you.

She holds a wet rag in her hand as she wipes you down. Your sunken eyes stay on her, not as a caution, but rather in admiration. She’s caring for you as if you were human again.

Truly, she does not seem to treat you any differently and it's odd. You are not the same as her - so why does she seem to think so?

❤ But she still holds an intense love for you because of how unique and dangerous you are.

❤ She loves knowing that something as powerful as you - powerful than most humans - loves her and accepts her for the ‘villain’ that she makes herself out to be.

❤ You’ll be there when the world falls apart, and you’ll be by her side whether you want to or not.

❤ Unlike everyone else she loves, she’s not too passionate about killing you or planning your murder. She predicts that you would be able to overpower anyone - it would make your murder boring. She would simply be sad, not in despair. What would be more despair-worthy is your accidental death. ‘Accidental’ is a loose word - sometimes she sends you on dangerous missions, and when she waits for you to return she is twisting and turning in her seat anxiously, excitedly.

❤ She loves scratching the sides of your head similar to how somebody would pet something adorable and tiny (as if you aren’t larger than her).

❤ She always cleans your bloodied face.

❤ Coming into too much contact with a wendigo can turn you into one as well. I’ll just leave that there.

❤ Also where she went to school before Hope's Peak is by crazy mountains and forests so if she were to meet you at any time it would be there.

.

Mikan Tsumiki

❤ The soul bonding is the thing that keeps you together. Without that, there would be no allure towards you - she would be scared, terrified, even. She would be scared of you purposely hurting her. She doesn’t like getting hurt and she doesn’t feel safe around dangerous, large things. Though, Mikan has always been a bit twisted. When you hurt other people, she enjoys watching, keeping an eye on you as you devour subjects. She thinks to herself there’s the main artery, bite there, or even worse, avoid that area to make them suffer for longer.

(something glitchy happeend here so if you can see it then my bad)

She grabs ahold of the ankle, trying to drag it that way. Manuel work is not something that she's always used to. There are paramedics that transports patients onto the lift, there are specific nurses that handle the movement of the dead ones. She's never been asked to partake in any of that - so this is something new to her.

She tried a bag, she tried a suitcase, but the rocky and dense environment proved to be hard on her. You'd smell her coming anyway, what's the point in trying to hide it?

In her hands is another dead body for you to consume. You who could be considered a decomposer.

❤ Funny HC Despair Mikan would try to have sex with you.

❤ She likes it when you curl into her and cuddle against her chest.

❤ The time the two of you spend around each other is very short - she is very busy, often traveling all around the country, going to different islands to take care of people, where you prefer to stay in the same place.

❤ But when you guys get together then there is so much cuddling and touching, she loves wrapping her arms around your neck and holding you close.

❤ She feels love through the physical contact you give her.

❤ To be fair the only reason you don’t kill her is because you’re soul bonded.

❤ But also greed can go beyond food - you could be greedy for her affection, too. She’d probably enjoy the attention.

.

Kazuichi Souda

❤ After his first encounter with you, he had never-ending nightmares. He could hardly sleep at night, worrying that the giant creature in the woods was going to find him and kill him. Which, he is right, you did find him, but your lurking never went outside of that. You knew he would be haunted by you - and at that point, your ‘work was already done’. To lure him closer, all you had to do was disappear. And it worked, he couldn’t think of anything other than you. You could feel whenever you crossed his mind. You could feel how far he was and how close he was getting until finally, he was yours.

He splashes you, immediately getting your attention away from the deer walking nearby. It's perky eyes were in contact with yours. You almost began to strike. With the water to your waist, you have a fun time hopping around through it, circling a clothless Kazuichi.

His hair leaves pink trails down his body. He dyes it rather frequently. It almost looks like blood.

You try to splash him back, the wave not strong enough, on purpose as you're trying not to drown him with one large splash.

A laugh leaves his lips. It's playful and it tingles your senses. You haven't heard somebody laugh in awhile.

He really makes you feel as if you are a mere human again.

❤ Have you ever seen the tiktok audio that says “giving my boyfriend my hand and seeing what he does *silence* *growling - cut off scream*”.

❤ You don’t let him see you feed, you try not to let him see you while you’re bloody.

❤ Most of the time when he comes to see you, you are soaking wet, skin slippery with leaves and dirt clinging to your body. You always wash yourself when you hear him coming.

❤ You almost never talk unless he talks to you first. There, he can hear your hushed voice, your kind intentions but rough delivery.

❤ How does he feel about dating a wendigo? Once it becomes a routine to go visit you, you stop giving him terror and he stops thinking about you every second of the day. Instead, he thinks about you only he sees flowers - should I pick them to give to it? - or things like food - I wonder if they can eat these.

.

Gundham Tanaka

❤ A new animal… good. He is completely heads over tails with you. At first, he thought it was because of his discovery of this ‘new species’. But something was different - he couldn’t figure it out. Maybe it’s because you’re more human than animal, is that why he feels this way? Do you make his heart race because you’re a predator or because you always greet him with a smile and a nudge of your head? You are similar to a vulture - a mammal vulture (else you lay eggs? he doesn’t think so. he also doesn’t want to find out.). You are his little (huge) mammal vulture.

Truly an animal, he writes. Animalistic in nature and often behavior.

Though the speaking patterns are human - more than a raven, for it knows the words it is speaking and can comprehend them on a level higher than mockery.

But it feeds as if it has cravings beyond what we can imagine. It is always hungry, always wanting more of anything.

It's one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever seen.

He writes in his little hand-sized pad, eyes flickering from both your feeding body and the paper. It's for his blog, of course. He talks about you in code a lot.

❤ Whether you live in his house or stay in the woods is really your choice. I just think you’re absolutely going to eat his animals so win some lose some.

❤ Sorry I imagine him playing with you like a cat with a little laser.

❤ Out of all of these characters, he’s probably the one that doesn’t mind staying in the forest all day the most. He’s not social, he doesn’t need the space of other people, he is much more content being alone with you. He has no worry about predators like wolves or certain monkeys - you can take anything down.

❤ You are his great ‘weapon’ (he doesn’t use you as a weapon ever but it fuels his imagination to think that he could).

❤ I believe that he talks about you and brags about you all the time to his friends like Sonia but no one believes him and just thinks it’s another one of his made-up concepts.

❤ He is very good at memorizing your patterns (since he’s an animal breeder it’s probably hormonal). He wonders if there are others of your kind!! You can’t be the only one, right?

❤ He might be so involved in the science behind you that he will eventually come to the conclusion that you were once human (honestly he could have just asked but there’s no fun in that - he likes being smart).

❤ ^ Idk maybe the fact that you can talk influenced this conclusion, who knows.

.

Shinguuji Korekiyo

❤ Ever since he first came across you, he’s known what you are. You are distinguished - a unique folk. He was watching you, you were aware of his presence, deciding not to give him the fear of realizing you knew, so you act clueless. He was beautiful, you wanted to keep him there for as long as you could. Don’t leave, you had begged, your voice echoing through the woods, the environment giving no explanation as to how. He came closer. He’s always been bold. He’s never been very brave, however, so this choice goes beyond him. He knows how dangerous you are - yet his soul was instilling inside him a sense of trust. That’s how he knew something between the two of you was special, it was altering his solemn mindset.

You sniff around his body, trying to think of the sent. America? He smells of deep trees and heavy artificials. Where is it that he came back from?

You cannot tell if he even understands your intention, the way his yellow eyes stay locked on you gives you a sense of caution.

Are you worrying him?

To try and calm him down, you open your mouth, grabbing ahold of it with your mouth and just holding it there peacefully, waiting to see what he would do.

The two of you just stare at each other, his eyes squinting analytically and yours wide with innocence.

"Whatever is the matter?" He soothes, bandaged hand brushing against the sensitive flesh of your face, patting your cheek, to which to let his hair go.

❤ Him keeping his distance is both unintentional and planned. He tries not to have too much contact with you, rather preferring to do simple things like read while you curl up in his lap than sleeping beside you in the wilderness or cuddling.

❤ Literal distance wise, he travels all over the world, and you’re meetings with him are often rare in times where he’s actually doing something and not just traveling for fun.

❤ Though truthfully, most of the time he’s traveling to North America and Canada, meeting with the people in the various tribes and getting their details about the folk of wendigos and whether they believe them or not.

❤ And they do. They do believe them, so much that they will hardly utter the name. So interesting, sometimes, when he’s safe inside, he finds himself muttering the name. Will you hear him? Or will something else?

❤ He lives mainly in a very central part of Osaka so to go near the more nature parts of the area he'd just quickly travel east to east Yao. There's a cute little mountain range over there, too.

.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

❤ He has a lot of weapons under his wings. He holds a lot of care for both you and Peko - even if you are a new addition to the family. He never thought you would hurt him, even when he witnessed you eating other people alive. The hardest part was convincing Peko that you were not a threat. He worded it as soulmate - you were his soulmate, to which Peko thought about your bloodied mouth and your tight flesh and thought soulmate?

Your large body tries its best to be sneaky. You approach them from behind, showing yourself to the harsh light - such a sunny day it is! You can see the illuminated buildings in the distance, their windows reflecting such pride. You can also see the light in Peko's eyes when she immediately turns your way, drawing her sword, sensing you creeping up behind them.

It doesn't touch the skin of your neck - you're too high for her to reach.

Fuyuhiko turns at her sudden movement.

"There's no threat," he commands, waving her off.

She only retreats when you make a fake purring noise, nudging yourself closer to him to show your interest.

He says, "there's no threat at all."

❤ Tbh you probably didn’t eat him because he’d be a bad meal, shape wise.

❤ He absolutely does use you as a weapon when he can and he’s not really even ashamed of it.

❤ He loves letting you hold him - it feels as if he is being treated as a king. He feels like a god that has a familiar.

❤ He falls asleep against you quite often. You don’t know what to do - he’s so small and thin, he’s so careful. You don’t want to hurt him. When you want to wake him up you just knock your head against his.

❤ Oh there are huge nature-y parts where he lives, he would have no problem visiting you or walking over to your territory. You're practically in his backyard.

[babyboibucky]

Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious.  Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

-

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