#perhaps be a little afraid too but. sharks <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[crepusculum-rattus]

i know there are no sharks in minecraft but i think endlantis should have them

[punchyhorse]

FIRST MEETING (TW: mild drowning): It's an uneventful day that Yuuta's new world is flipped on its head. Metaphorically, and then quite literally. He sees a shadow under the water first, and in the sleepy haze of summer heat passes it off for a cloud passing over head. The thump against his little fishing boat he assumes is Rika being rambunctious. He hasn't seen her in a couple of hours and that usually means she's found something to play with.

Last time it was a shark.

The tug on his line wakes him up enough to start reeling. There's a salmon on the end, flailing hard, huge and shining quicksilver in the sunlight as he wrestles it aboard. Yuuji will be pleased, he thinks idly, already dreaming about the meals his friend might whip up. That's all expected, a known order of events in Yuuta's life. A head popping up from under the water is not a part of the natural order of Yuuta's day, however.

They're beautiful, this interloper, fine boned and pale skin only a few shades too grey to pass as human, with large violet eyes. Though the maroon fins where their ears should be shatter any kind of illusion of humanity.

They blink at him.

He blinks back.

And now, look. Yuuta is used to non-humans. He might not have spent his Whole life around them, but the last few years have been spent around them, living, fighting, existing. And Rick's spirit has been his close companion since her death, corrupted as she is. He's used to them. Desensitized to their idiosyncrasies. So he's unnerved by this creatures sudden appearance, but not afraid.

Then the jaw unhinges and Yuuta throws himself back with a yelp. Right into the water. Where the thing that may or may not want to eat him lives.

And he's supposed to be one of the most powerful Magicians in the world. A fearsome warrior, unparalleled.

Right.

The boat flips with him, casting the water in shadow until he can't tell up from down, can't find the surface through the salt searing his eyes. The weight of the ocean drags at his clothes and he's not the strongest swimmer at the best of times, but he can't seem to fight against it enough to drag his body upwards. His heartbeat pounds fast, faster in his ears, throat closing and his already limited air supply feels completely depleted. He's drowning two feet below the surface and can't get his bearings enough to fix it.

He's going to die a very stupid death. Gojo-sensei is going to gut him. Verbally. Which is worse than literally.

Yuuta allows the resignation to settle in and his limbs get heavy. Darkness spots his vision. He drifts weightless for a second before something solid grabs his waist and his head breaks the surface. The first lungful of air burns down his esophagus and into his aching chest. He pants like a dog and clutches at the slippery body supporting him. The creature is nearly nose to nose with him, face as blank and unaffected as before. Those eyes blink at him.

Yuuta blinks back.

2. RIKA wrestles a shark. It insulted Yuuta, or she thinks it might have. It certainly has the shifty eyed look of something that would insult Yuuta, but just to be safe she decides to put it very firmly in its place.

3. SHARING IS CARING: Yuuta and Toge (thusly named by Yuuta; his real name doesn't translate, and when asked, Toge brought a sea urchin and patted his hand against the spikes, which Yuuta took to mean something sharp. It's perhaps not the best or most apt, but Toge hasn't complained about it, so here they are), have learned to communicate in different ways. Toge defaults to chirps and whistles, or simple words that can't control, but has no way tell extensive stories, other than humming a soft melody infused with intention and emotion, which shares the whole picture, but misses fine detail.

Yuuta makes up for it by tell long, meandering stories. Of the war, of his friends. Of Megumi, lost and wandering in the dark, of Yuuji, cursed by blood to lose his body to a beast, sometimes with no warning. Or Nobara, injured and endlessly sleeping, and Maki who walks unendingly searching for a way to wake her up, accompanied by the ghost of her human twin. Of Gojo-sensei, felled by his own hubris, but who visits sometimes in his dreams, surrounded by those he loved and lost in life, happier than Yuuta has ever truly seen him.

They stay together for hours, basking in the sunlight, following it up and down the beach to always stay in the warmth until the sun sinks below the horizon.

[mkcannothelpyou]

ars sanguinea (Abyssal Hunters)

AK/Kinktober 2023, Day 3: “Lingerie”

"There will not be damages."

Crouched down, Laurentina traces a nail down through a fold in her Captain's slip. This is her finger, one of five digits of flesh and bone of a hand betrothed to the arts, and where Laurentina's finger goes, her sculptor's mind follows.

"Why not? I think it would look so flattering in shreds. Picture it, well and truly tattered. Its internal weave hanging off in ways it was never meant to. It's rare, you know, for something so complicated to be destroyed, and still work. I think that really speaks to a sense of permanence."

If she were to describe it at a gallery, anyway. Her finger twirls, stirring a wave in the sea.

Unconsciously, she murmurs—"…It's a pretty lttle thing. Jet-black as the surface under a starless sky." Gazing up, she peers at Gladiia's countenance with an open, teethy smile. "I really don't remember you owning this, Captain—where did you find something with such taste?"

"The tailors of dry land can improvise adaptations to Ægir forms with��� acceptable competence."

Laurentina throws her gaze sideways, dissects. "Acceptable? That's a cold, cold term for a work this passionate. Won't you throw its maker the tiniest bone? I've seen landwalkers react in the funniest ways when complimented."

The hollow of Gladiia's hand takes Laurentina's chin. That's her version of a warning. "Shark. The process of my acquiring this garment was unpleasant, inefficient and insulting of basic intelligence. I will not entertain your suggestion of sentimentality."

"Well, I think you just described the essence of any tailor there," Laurentina grins. She gets a slap across the face for that, an act in their lingua corporea that is less than paying a price. Only a ceremonial gesture, an invitation for circulating blood, a flavour of ritual to set the tenor of tonight. This violence is hunter on hunter. Her inner cheek buzzes with raw flesh.

Her Captain's stony stare is a verbal enough response - if a word could mean "discipline" five times over, Gladiia is effortlessly wielding it.

"That's not fair, I didn't even rip a thread yet. Am I sensing some impatience, perhaps? Careful, Captain, set me straight too quickly and your nightgown will be hard-pressed to catch up," Laurentina chuckles. She nestles her head against one leg, closing her eyes and gently rubbing the spurned cheek against it. It's a fine piece. Anything satin enough to spill past you like water has to be worth something.

Oh, there's something else too. "Shark, you are advised to recognise—"

"This is all you're wearing, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Orca would love this."

One last nuzzle, thinking of how lovely little Skadi would assume to work through the fabric and bite and tear to get to the stony Swordfish beneath, then Laurentina rocks back upright on her feet.

"If you wanted any accidental damages to punish, I'm afraid you chose just the wrong slaughterer—I carve with a level of precision my eyes strain to even see."

"I will not object if this gown survives to the point of reuse," is Gladiia's plain response.

"How utilitarian."

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog 11: Episode 7, Bashi the Shark

AKA the one where I admit I think my naming scheme for these liveblogs is actually unspeakably stupid, yet will not proceed to change it.

Joris, I will be real, the reasons are too long to list.

Your whole life is a sad story, old man. Every episode of this show should have a "a little sad" content warning by this logic.

For all the shit I give Kerubim, he's teaching Joris something pretty important — to talk about his emotions, instead of bottling them up, — and he repeats it often enough that Joris uses this particular line to make fun of Kerubim, meaning it comes up a lot. ...I think what makes him try and hammer this lesson into Joris, is that he's scared Joris will grow up to be like him: obsessed with being Cool and Awesome, emotionally unavailable, and isolated from other people due to his nasty personality and mental illnesses. Time will prove that Joris is a guy who is literally ALL of these things, albeit in some very un-Kerubim-ish ways. Which is both sad, and hilarious. History did not just repeat itself, — it swerved, and wrote a really sick haiku, by making Joris into a sort of an... Even-More-French-Kim-Kitsuragi. Even if Keke couldn't prevent it, the attempt still counts. He gets a cookie for being a good dad, this once.

JORIS NUCLEAR ":3" MOMENT, I REPEAT, JORIS NUCLEAR ":3" MOMENT. A LEVEL 10 "( ￣ω￣ )" EVENT. LITTLE CATBOY DETECTED.

They're so funny together, and they love each other so much... I don't have good analysis. I just want to gush.

For all the jokes I make, they have one of the most realistic and well-written "single parent & single child" relationships in any media I know, with all the positives and negatives that includes.

Obligatory pointing out of food: They are both drinking water with ice, though Kerubim has a lemon and leaves (perhaps it's mint? Or catnip, if we're being spicy?) in his, while Joris has a lime.

Second of all:

I love how his nickname is just "THE negotiator". Despite Kerubim's more whacky antics, he's a pretty very smart guy. He wouldn't be known as "THE negotiator" otherwise.

He tries to hide it, but even as a young adult he's very well-read, which, when paired with his social skills, becomes a pretty good arsenal for negotiating and emissary work.

For someone who's very fun-loving and sillywhacky in his personal life, he can act surprisingly cool and collected during a job, even while scared, while still being unserious enough to do some really insane shit if things go wrong.

This entire description, and his body language, remind me a lot of another negotiator-emmisary character, though.

I wonder why.

Unlike Joris, though, he's not that good at rushing into situations with a fearless, almost iop-like "FUCK IT WE BALL" attitude.

He still rushes into them, I mean, but he rushes into them afraid and praying, y'know?

[kanamori-kamper-moved]

I’m at the pool with my family so imagine, Arclights-Tsukumos pool day out!

Oh I wrote something like this actually!! But it was less about the kids and more about Vetrix and Kazuma tbh BECAUSE IM BRAINROTTING ON OLD MAN YAOI AGHHH

But I like this scenario!!

Yuma and Trey would surely get along well, and Yuma would surely get all blushy seeing Trey in a swimsuit BECAUSE CUTE GIRL AAAAA- But the moment he steps into the pool he desperately wants to show off how well he can swim, just before almost drowning and having the lifeguard have to come and save him. Trey got him ice cream to make him feel better.

Quattro desperately just wants to tan and get fawned over by the girls who happen to recognize him. Well, until Shark (who’s also there because why the hell not) starts to splash him with water just to piss him off. Their exes </3

And of course, Quinton. He would’ve rather stayed home than gone to the pool, but Vetrix forced him to go because he was worried about him staying inside. He just stays by the pool chairs reading his Victorian novels because he’s deathly afraid of the water. Despite being almost like 20, he still doesn’t know how to swim. But Trey and Yuma decide to play a little prank on Quinton and push him in and he freaks the fuck out. Sigh.. now his beautiful locks of hair are all wet..

(And just for a bonus Vetrix and Kazuma too!!! Tbh the only reason Vetrix decided to go was because he heard that Kazuma was coming, and he, in good conscious, can’t miss out on seeing his bestie WHO TOTALLY ISNT HIS BOYFRIEND OR ANYTHING HAHAH but anyways, their all flirty and sitting at one of those tables with the little umbrella sticking out of the middle. Perhaps they might even kiss.. OLD MAN YAOI IS PEAK OML)

[possiblynotpayingattention]

I just watched Shark Tale (2004) for the MILLIONTH time. I LOVE this movie!

I know a lot of people don't like it though... In fact, this movie failed terribly upon its release if I remember correctly. I guess people took it too seriously? The animation wasn't the prettiest?

I dunno but I love this movie and no one will ever tell me otherwise. There are so many reasons I love it too:

1. Oscar has great character development. He has to face the consequences of his actions over and over in spectacular fashion while he also learns how to love himself and his "culture" despite other fishes' negative perceptions of it and himself. He is a very realistic character who has relatable goals to "rise above his assigned class" and he ISN'T afraid to show just how much he values money and what he would do to get it. He's unabashedly greedy and it's one of his biggest flaws which he has to overcome. He's a habitual liar and he pays dearly for it. In more recent movies I feel like protagonists' faults get watered down a lot because duh they are the good guys so they need to be "good" and "blameless"... and boring, very two dimensional. Oscar has an intense desire to do the right thing but it's overshadowed by his ambition. He always thinks he can do "bigger and better" even if it isn't always the most morally correct choice. He is forced over and over to confront his faults and poor decisions, ultimately becoming a better person.

2. I actually liked the character designs and personalities! None of the main characters felt two dimensional but realistic and well-rounded. The neon colors, the expressive faces/fins/mannerisms and the callbacks to a RL celebrity's reputation, voice or most popular movie. Will Smith as Oscar definitely had "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" vibes. Robert de Niro is a wisened and deadly shark as a reference to the infamous "Godfather II". Angie being an "angel" fish, a connection to her loving nature and natural compassion (angel fish in real life are little bastard fish who bully the hell out of their tank mates and perhaps some of that heat is displayed in Angie's righteous anger against injustices and blatant stupidity).

3. As a kid and adult, I liked the huge celebrity presence. I knew who Will Smith and Angelina Jolie were when I was a kid but as I grew older, I figured out there were SO MANY big name celebrities and cameos like Martin Scorsese, Ziggy Marley, Vincent Pastore, Robert de Niro, Katie Couric and Peter Falk.

4. The world-building was very interesting to me. The Reef being styled after New York City, the obvious classism and discrimination for certain fish types, the crime/mafia being run largely by sharks, the lower class black community references in Oscar's backstory and behavior, tons of references to real life events, movies, pop culture and history and of course, the insane amount of detail in the background like writing, signs, locations, economics, etc.

5. Lenny being a vegetarian is a reference to being queer. It's an really outdated reaction to being queer but the movie has subtle LGTBQIA+ themes that had to be snuck in under the radar for the movie to be "suitable" for kids in the early 2000s but I can appreciate the effort however small (I think in recent times some younger queer folks forget how far we've come with general acceptance, recognition and exposure; even in the early 2000s, anything other than just "being gay and/or in the drag scene" was hardly recognized or accepted in many first world countries, the last two decades have seen a crazy amount of progress for the LGTBQIA+)...

6. Lenny's vegetarian journey being a metaphor for what queer person's life is often like... trying to be accepted by your family especially your conservative father for something "unorthodox" that you can't control, the trying to hide your true identity in fear of social isolation and rejection by your family, the running away in attempt to find freedom to be yourself and the seeking of support and like-minded folks, finding your place in a world that will seemingly always see you as "unorthodox" or "weird"... I could go on.

7. The whole toxic masculinity vs queer identity. Sharks being the epitome of powerful masculinity and Lenny despite being a big scary shark, actually being far more gentle, compassionate and soft spoken than what is considered "acceptable" for a man shark. Coupled with not wanting to eat meat (which is technically a shark's real diet) being the idea of rejecting the status quota for his kind and going against what "nature intended" to be uniquely himself in a way that doesn't "make sense" to others. I mean, there is A LOT of this.

8. I like the humor. A lot of it is clearly adult humor which was popular to sneak into kids movies in the 2000s... but also black humor which wasn't seen much outside of "black movies" in the last 2-3 decades. Combining black humor with the staple comedy of the age was a new concept that was beginning to see a massive positive reception during the 2000s and Shark Tale was an example of how a kids audience could be reached too even if said audience couldn't understand the significance of including black humor at the time.

9. This movie came out a year after Finding Nemo (2003) and as everyone knows, any Disney movies that followed Finding Nemo's release in the following years, struggled to measure up to even a fraction of its predecessor's success. Pixar's The Incredibles and DreamWorks' Shrek 2 completely dominated the animated genre of the box office in 2004. So Shark Tale, being a fish movie like Finding Nemo and from DreamWorks who at the time was still riding the highs of their previous releases like Sinbad, The Road to El Dorado, The Prince of Egypt, Joseph King of Dreams, and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, just couldn't hold a candle to it's competitors... I mean, Shark Tale had no chance to compete with it's competitors and was unfairly contrasted to Finding Nemo. Nothing about Shark Tale could be appreciated on its own compared to every other box office hit during that time. Too much of the movie was risky, from the black humor to DreamWorks first foray into a new animation style that wasn't what they were known for and there was the LGTBQIA+ themes... Shark Tale was doomed. The only people who could truly appreciate the movie and who actually liked it were kids. Like me. Who loved the humor, the bright colors, the cool watery fish world, the fun and diverse cast and compelling themes that kids could relate to no matter their age.

10. This movie is a comfort movie that never fails to make me laugh, giggle, snort, grin and roll my eyes no matter how many times I've seen it. I think it's one of those movies that had to have been watched as a kid to really appreciate its nuances. I can understand why many adults thought it was a crappy movie but I've come to the conclusion that it was misunderstood. This movie is like Mega Mind (2010). It was not well received when it first came out but was later appreciated by its audience and even held in higher regard when we got older because we now understood all the details better. I have the same opinion of Mega Mind as I do Shark Tale. I love both of these movies and I'll defend them to the death if need be.

Underappreciated movies for the win! ✨

[whatsinmypen]

Starter Fountain Pens 

(that aren’t the Pilot Metro or Lamy Safari) 

(So you never have to ask me for recs again)

New to fountain pens? Long-time enthusiast? No matter, you’re probably sick of hearing about the Lamy Safari and the Pilot Metropolitan (or Pilot MR in certain markets) and their respective merits as beginner fountain pens. It feels like every other day someone asks for suggestions for their first fountain pen, and inevitably the recommendations for either of those two come flooding in.  

It’s not without reason. I’m guilty too—the Lamy Safari is still one of my favourite pens of all time (and I will still recommend it), and the Metropolitan is just about the safest bet you can make on a fountain pen when you’re just getting started.  

That being said, there are a ton of other pens out there, and I feel like newbies sometimes miss out on pens they might like better. So, to help further our collective horizons, here are 22 OTHER fountain pens for absolute beginners.  With links!

All under $30.  

1. Pilot Varsity ($3.30 or $21.25 for assorted 7-pack)

Afraid of commitment? Looking to dip your toes before diving in? No problem--just try out a disposable fountain pen! For a pen designed to be disposable, the Pilot Varsity writes pretty well and comes in 7 fun colours. Just mind the paper you're using--it can bleed through pretty easily, as it is one-size nib only (and that size is medium).

2. Platinum Preppy ($6.00)

Not quite as "disposable" as the Pilot Varsity, the Preppy has a few advantages: multiple nib sizes (though they're all pretty fine), a wide assortment of colours, and can even take a (proprietary) converter if you so choose. They do crack pretty easily, especially at the cap and grip section, but they're still a solid choice for a fountain pen newbie.

3. Jinhao 993 Shark ($3.95)

Not only are these pens adorable and affordable, their (hooded!) nib is exceptionally good considering the low price, though medium is the only nib size you'll get. Don't feel too bad though, because this pen comes with a converter included! I honestly have zero complaints about this pen, it's an awesome, quirky buy.

4. Jinhao x450 ($9.90) & x750 ($9.99)

Now these look like fountain pens. Pull one of these out at a meeting and you'll definitely get a couple of questions (or perhaps encounter a pen friend out in the wild!). Metal construction, medium (& somewhat gushy nibs), and a converter included? Sign me up! They might be a little heavier than what you're used to, but otherwise make for a great starter pen.

5. Paili 013 Vacuum Filler ($9.95)

Pro: a vacuum filler pen for under $10?? Yep. Forget those cartridges and unleash the power of bottled ink with this surprisingly reliable fountain pen!

Con: If you're a newbie, you're likely unfamiliar with this filling mechanism, so it might be a little daunting. But I promise there's no mystery, and YouTube is your friend!

6. Platinum Prefounte ($11.00)

Another Platinum, this time a little dressed up but still fun! The Prefounte comes in both fine and medium nibs and takes either proprietary Platinum cartridges or converters (sold separately, unfortunately). This pen is also pretty forgiving if you end up forgetting it in your drawer: Platinum's Slip & Seal mechanism can keep the ink from drying for quite a while (allegedly, up to a year). Keep in mind, Platinum pens tend to have a little bit more feedback (read: scratchy feel on paper), so if you don't like the feel of writing with pencil, for instance, maybe opt for a medium nib.

7. Luoshi Labyrinth ($12.95)

If you want something striking and unique, this Luoshi might be right up your alley. The Labyrinth is an all-metal pen with a surprisingly smooth medium-fine nib. It might be a little too weighty for those not accustomed to hefty metal pens, and some people have complained that the cut out labyrinth design adds some discomfort to lengthy writing sessions, so keep that in mind!

8. Pilot Kakuno ($13.50)

If you've heard good things about the nib on the Pilot Metropolitan but wanted something cheaper/quirkier, boy have I got good news for you! Marketed for children in Japan, the Kakuno has the same nib unit as the Metro, making for a superb writing experience at a considerably lower price point. They come in a ton of colors and take proprietary Pilot cartridges or converters. Nibs of different sizes come engraved with different smiley faces for extra fun.

9. HongDian Black Forest Series ($16.95)

This pen is just cool. Matte, all metal finish? Check. Cool colours? Check. Converter included? Check. Matching colour nib? Check (on a couple of them, at least). Though this pen is metal, it is pretty slim and comes with a textured grip, making for a pretty comfortable writing experience (unless, of course, you don't like slim pens!)

10. Kaweco Perkeo ($17.00)

I call this pen Kaweco's Kakuno, because... well, just look at it. Then go back up to #8 and see that I am right. Regardless, this pen is a solid choice for a beginner, with different nib options (all pretty smooth) and a great assortment of colours. It also has a triangular grip, which will help you hold the pen in the correct position--though some people find it uncomfortable, so keep that in mind!

11. Platinum Plaisir ($17.60)

Pros: Aluminum body, several colours to choose from, different nib options (fine & medium), and Platinum's magical sealing cap to prevent your ink from drying.

Cons: Converter (proprietary) sold separately. Boo.

12. TWSBI GO ($18.99)

This little pen (the most affordable TWSBI iirc) has quite a few things going for it. It comes in several colours and has a bunch of different nib sizes (from extra fine all the way to a 1.1mm stub). The filing mechanism (a simple spring loaded piston) is very practical and easy to use, though it may be a little unfamiliar to most beginners and will require bottled ink (so go ahead and add to cart while you're at it!).

13. ONLINE Slope ($19.00) & Switch Plus ($20.50)

Smooth writers with ergonomic grips (i.e., triangular) to keep you in position when writing. Both the Slope and Switch Plus are made of plastic with stainless steel nibs that come in both medium and fine and write pretty smoothly. They're a great choice for a beginner, but maybe skip these two if you're not a fan of the triangular grip or if you like heavier pens.

14. Delike Mojiang Pocket Pen ($19.95)

If you'd like to give pocket pens a try, maybe start with the Mojiang. This little pen is all-metal, which gives it a nice heft despite its small size. It only comes in fine, but writes more like a medium. Though it takes standard international converters and cartridges, watch the size--some converters might be too long to fit! Furthermore, smaller pens usually mean smaller ink capacity, so if you're writing in long sessions you may have to refill more frequently.

15. Moonman M2 Eyedropper ($21.95)

If you want a large ink capacity and want to see it slosh around your pen as you write... well, look no further! Though this pen can take cartridges and converters, it was designed as an eye dropper pen, meaning you fill the body of the pen itself with the ink of your choice with... you guessed it, an eyedropper (included!).

16. Wancai Mini ($21.25)

Same as the above, just. Teeny tiny!

17. Diplomat Magnum ($23.20)

Despite its lofty name, the Diplomat Magnum is pretty slim, not to mention super light. It has a nifty little ink window so you can keep an eye on your ink level and comes Diplomat's soft touch stainless steel nib (in sizes extra-fine to medium) for a super smooth writing experience. This is another pen with a (less pronounced) triangle grip, and comes with a converter included.

18. Pilot Explorer ($23.60)

Pilot at it again with the superb nibs. Like the Kakuno and the Metropolitan, the Explorer also features a frankly incredible stainless steel nib (in both fine and medium). It comes in several colours and Pilot even deigned to include a converter with this one (though it's a squeeze converter that 1. might be a little unfamiliar to some and 2. kind of sucks in general, so maybe stick to the Pilot cartridges with this one).

19. Faber-Castell Grip ($24.00)

This pen is literally designed to be a beginner fountain pen, but it still looks pretty sleek, imo. It does feel a little plasticky/cheap, but that Faber-Castell nib writes super smoothly. It only comes in fine, though it writes more like a medium. No converter included with this one (boo-hoo).

20. Kaweco Sport ($25.00)

Another German pen, and another pocket pen! I love Kaweco nibs (from EF to medium, though you can buy other Kaweco nibs separately), and the Kaweco Sport is a great introduction to pocket pens. They come in a ton of colours and are pretty reliable, though they only take short international cartridges (and a short converter, which, you guessed it, is sold separately). There are several colour and material variations, but the classic has a plastic body and stainless steel nib. Maybe skip if slim writing utensils are not comfortable!

21. Pelikan Twist ($26.00)

OK, this pen may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I had to add it. It's super funky and the nib (medium) is pretty good. All in all, it's a pretty nifty way to try out a Pelikan, and if you're into the design (and the triangular grip) it can be a fun and reliable daily writer. Converter sold separately (askjdbaklsdjb)

22. TWSBI Swipe ($26.99)

This pen may not look like it goes over the top, but let me tell you, it does. The TWSBI Swipe boasts no less than four different ways of filling it. You can use your regular cartridge. You can use the (included!!) traditional converter. You can then swap that converter out for a piston converter (also included! what?!), and if you're not happy, you can just eyedropper the whole dang pen. It might be a little too much, too soon for complete newbies, but the learning curve is not very steep, and it's a great way to try out all of these methods on a single pen. Like the TWSBI GO, nibs (stainless steel) go from an extra-fine all the way up to a 1.1mm stub.

[nep2unes]

𝐅𝐓. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘.

inspired by @neptunes-sol-angel​ mini reading for me.

✩ channeled signs for all piles: mood swings, 444, beauty blender, clear quartz, conspiracy theories, deep blue sea, that’s so raven, green, turquoise, pbs kids, fire sign energy, balance, evil eye jewelry, pink velvet tracksuit (juicy couture?), y2k aesthetic, 999, 36, green eggs and ham, red rover, bob the builder, projector, ariana grande perfume, yellow, circus, needng to go to the dispensary, beans, starting to eat cleaner, cat scratches, crows, flickering lights, 16 floors, migraines, ibuprofen, nail-biting, rebecca?, smart watch, reading glasses, air ballons, drums, california, north and south carolina, great white sharks, day n nite - kid cudi, journaling, scheduling, dragons, kundalini energy

✩ you ready? take a deep breath and don’t overthink it. go ahead a choose the picture you’re most drawn to. the first pic your eyes laid on is usually your answer. it’s ok to be drawn to more than one pile too! enjoy! x

PILES 1-3 FROM TOP TO BOTTOM

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄:

your adaptability. you are the type of person that can be friends with ANYONE. you’re a natural conversationalist and i think this stumps your haters and makes them so envious of you because they’re extremely insecure in their own social skills. i’m getting strong water sign energy for this pile (pisces placements especially!) you give me like chameleon energy. you can read the energy in the room and just know how to morph yourself in a way that doesn’t inhibit your own energy. you can make yourself comfortable enough in social settings but you still stand out somehow. you influence the room rather than absorbing it and i think this is the main reason why you stand out. you’re VERY charismatic and magnetic; if you don’t think so then i’m fucking confirming it tf! 

you may even be a little anxious sometimes before social events but when it comes down to it, you end up doing the damn thing! i’m getting that you doubt and second-guess yourself a lot and i don’t even understand why because you’re the main character. you’re not the side character, or the comic relief friend, nah bro you’re just naturally supposed to be in the limelight. your energy is captivating, playful, and it makes these mfers SICKKKK! i feel like your haters have friends that like you and they just be sitting there like “why the fuck does everyone like them? what’s so special about them?” PERIOD! you make these bitches question themselves fr. 

a good chunk of the people that hate on you have deep-rooted insecurities and i feel like they could almost get obsessed with you in a way (perhaps they may spy on your socials and compare themselves to you for hours, it’s weird shit.) they also hide their envy well and may try to befriend you to get your “secrets” but baby there’s no secrets. you can’t be copied. your haters also hate how they can never catch you lacking like you just have this way of presenting yourself in public that is so appealing. keep doing what you doing bae cause you must doing something right! powerful amount of star quality!

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐃: only girl (in the world) - rihanna

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎:

your creativity. the three of wands popped out THREE different times. so you definitely have this boldness to you that exudes in the public eye. you do whatever the fuck you want and you walk with conviction, no matter who is staring or watching. you are not afraid to style, talk, or walk YOUR WAY. heavy aquarius energy and fire sign energy is present in this pile. this pile is giving fashionista. your style is really what stands out to others, i genuinely feel like you don’t give a fuck about trends or what is “in”. you may be a heavy thrifter as well. i’m also seeing makeup; you could be extremely good at doing eccentric designs (euphoria type beat) and bright colors. the gag is this is everyday you. like you don’t mind doing a crazy eyeshadow look and “overdressing” on a random tuesday. this group is really giving me rico nasty energy (you may already fuck with her music and if not, take a listen you might end up liking it!). 

you just have this knack for aesthetics and what looks good on YOU (i do feel like this pile does have the potential for a career path in creative directing and styling). so essentially, THIS is what boils your haters’ blood cause they are so in awe of how the fuck you look good every single time and rock the most outrageous shit. these people tend to nitpick the littlest of things because they themselves are followers not actual leaders. your haters can’t even come close to you though like they can try to copy but what i don’t think they don’t understand is that it’s not about how you style yourself but rather the comfortability you had to gain within being embarrassed. i don’t think it was always easy for you to step out in the world as yourself. 

i’m sensing this pile suffered some bullying and harassment from others for being themselves. y’all stuck out like a sore thumb. you were an easy target because fo this. so you pretended for so long to not give a fuck what they said and be confident that eventually you truly didn’t give a fuck. instead of conforming to others, to spite them even more, you styled yourself in incredibly spunky ways. it’s funny cause i’m getting a “i did it first!” vibe. all the trends circulating in the media now, you may have done them way back when and got made fun of. all your haters are now trying to keep up with the new shit when you really been the mfer to do it. i’m hearing a nicki lyric (ofc lol): “i put these bitches on game, they should be kissing my feet!” this group’s haters are the true pick- me’s of this world bro. they’re such followers and you’re THEE trendsetter! they get inspired from you and so mad they didn’t think of it first. it’s effortless on your part and they can’t figure out how to do the same! a natural creative, these mfers really can’t tell you nothing. 

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐃: poppin’ - rico nasty

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄:

your resilience. this pile’s energy is giving a phoenix rising from the ashes. scorpio energy very much present (water sign energy in general). y’all have been through hell and back and somehow, someway you remain unscathed; from an outside perspective. your journey has never been easy but you’ve made it look easy and this shakes your haters to the core because nothing can knock you down. i have a feeling that people actively try your ass hard to get you to that breaking point but it simply doesn’t work. a good chunk of people in this group are my divine feminines to be honest cause i’m sensing high intuitive abilities. you had so many lessons you had to go through to realize that the peace lies within you and is not in reach within the outside world or others. your ability to remain calm in even the chaotic of situations is remarkable. such great problem-solvers and intellectual ass mofos. this is VERY impressive energy and let me just say, others can just FEEL this energy without you having to say anything.

i sense your haters are extremely intimidated by y’all because y’all keep your shit together. even if you’re a fucking mess, i think you make sure to not show others that because you know that it can be a weakness that others can pinpoint and poke at. your haters may disguise themselves as your friends because this is the only way to get you to open up. you may have had a lot of backstabbers in past connections. FYI: this wasn’t your fault. they were just extremely jealous of the way you approached life and from their perspective it seemed that things would fall into your lap. you may have been the “advice friend” so always trying to guide your friends towards the right direction and offering your wisdom, but they saw this as you thinking you’re the shit. clearly, they didn’t know HALF of what you had to go through to get to that abundant sort of mindset. i’m frustrated for this group in particular because it just seems like people purposely try to misunderstand y’all to get under your skin. BUT YOUR ENERGY THOOO >>>>. you’re such an unbothered human, you dead ass don’t give a fuck. you just continue because you understand that no one can invalidate your experiences but yourself. so you seek out peace and usually your quick to cut mfers off like it ain’t nothing. 

queen of cups and the star popped out, you’re special man. you have learned from your lessons and past mistakes and that’s why you’re so naturally “lucky” or abundant because spirit was like “we see you.” i keep hearing “chosen one” so you may be the one in your ancestral line to be breaking generational curses (that shit ain’t easy, pat yourself on your back because you’ve either done it already or are on the track to doing it! you’re THAT one fr). the true essence of an alchemist because you have mastered the ability to make something out of nothing and that takes a lot of strength, courage, and bravery. you also have great determination and work ethic. such a good head on your shoulders, you really just be minding your business and powering through life no matter how hard it gets. i know sometimes it feels like a lot on your shoulders, just know that breaking down is normal. you need to release that and that’s ok. i really don’t even want to talk about your haters cause i feel like sometimes this weighs heavy on you but spirit wants me to tell you that you’re getting your due diligence soon. the right souls are on their way to your right now! stay ready, this will bring a lot of happiness!

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐃: january 28th - j cole

[aggimaginary]

The Bad Guys: New Beginnings, New Normal chapter 1 (A New Life)

Hello all! So, I'm back to writing fanfiction after 3 months of resting. Sorry I've been gone for 3 months. School was so pressuring, so I have to stay focused on school. But now I have the motivation to write again. I watched the Bad Guys movie, and I love it very very much. The concepts I'm more focused on in this movie were the action, humor, and friendship! The Bad Guys became my new favorite movie.

So, since December 14, 2021, I decided to make my own fanfiction of the Bad Guys someday, and when I watched the movie, I can begin with it. Also, I decided to make my own OC named, Mr. Hornet. He was an Asian Giant Hornet, and the member of the Bad Guys for as long as he can remember, and was the team's look-out. I then decided to make fanfictions that happened after the events of the movie. This is my first fanfic of the Bad Guys.

Supposedly, my first fanfiction was my own rewritten version of the Bad Guys, but I was too slow to write my own version, so I had to skip that story, and decided to start this new fanfiction.

Spoilers: The story took place after the Bad Guys were released from prison.

I hope you all are going to like this fanfic. Enjoy.

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At the desert, a black car drove down the clear path with 7 anthropomorphic animals and one little cat riding in it. One of them was driving the car, and it was Mr. Wolf.

He then stared at the viewers without his friends noticing, and called out, "Hey you. Yeah, You! Get over here." He waited for the viewers to come closer, but there was no response, "What? Still feeling afraid of us? I don't blame you, but no worries: we're all good now. Nothing to fear here. What? You don't believe me? Let me tell you everything that's happened over the past year."

Flashback suddenly happened during the events of the movie.

First one was the introduction of the Bad Guys in the middle of a car chase.

"Before, my pals and I, together, were the craziest batch of criminals the city's ever seen. Dubbed the Bad Guys, we committed so many fun heists, and robbed the best places around."

The flashback ended, and back to Wolf.

"Yeah, life was pretty interesting... until the day we got caught at the awards ceremony."

Flashback to the scene where the Bad Guys were about to casually walk out of the museum.

"That night marked a turning point that perhaps, if we could convince the people that we could be 'good' and be all nice and civil, we were free to continue our business as usual with no one batting an eye."

Another flashback where Wolf was rescuing a little cat.

"But, then, over the best few days, I started to realize... being good had its perks, and it'd give us a whole new view. Instead of being seen as scary criminals, we could perhaps be so much more than bad guys."

More flashbacks were shown where the Bad Guys were arrested at the gala, then rescued by Diane as the Crimson Paw, the crew splitting up, the 5 Bad Guys and Diane attached yellow chips on trucks for Tarantula to hack, and all 6 Bad Guys put their wrist in front of them, willing to get arrested.

"So, after getting framed for a crime we did not commit, separating for a while after Diane, aka the Crimson Paw, busted us out of prison, and stopping Professor Marmalade from taking over the world, we ended up spending the last year in prison, "shaping up" and gave now been released for good behavior."

Flashback ended, and back to Wolf, still narrating the story to the viewers.

"Now, the Bad Guys, or should I say technically, the Good Guys, are back on the streets, and it feels... good," Wolf then turned back to the road, and continued driving.

"Well, now that we're out of jail, where should we go?" Shark asked.

"Home." Wolf smiled calmly as he accelerated straight ahead.

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After a while driving, the car finally headed out of the desert, and went into the city. It's been a year, but it felt like forever when the Bad Guys saw the city once again. Their car was opened, everybody can see them from the inside. But instead of receiving fears and screams from the people of Los Angeles, there was no fear and screams anymore. The Bad Guys received a different kind of welcome. A kind where they were now treated like normal civilians.

The people in the street were just surprised to see them after a year in prison. It's been a while since the last time the civilians saw them in public. They all saw them in the news that the Bad Guys surrendered themselves to the cops, and that was a good inspiration for everyone. The citizens saw them as different Bad Guys now. The people around them were just smiling and waving at them, welcoming back to the outside world. Some didn't mind the group, but they weren't running and screaming away this time. Some even just watch them go with smiles before proceeding to their daily activities.

This was quite new to the Bad Guys. They were used to people fearing them. They already experienced being loved once. And now, they were treated like everyone else. Like normal citizens. They were celebrities of neither fame nor infamy anymore, but they were now being treated fairly, and it felt… good.

Along the way, the Bad Guys then passed by the News Company Building where Mira, the journalist, got a good shot of them, and this will add to her new article today.

Then, the crew passed by the police station, the same police station where they started a police chase a year ago. They were waved by the other cops outside, but the chief put yesterday's newspaper down, and glared sharply at the Bad Guys. She just watched them go, but she was still doubtful about them. Now that the crew were out of prison, she wanted to keep an eye on those former criminals if they ever attempted to do another bank robbery again.

The Bad Guys were happy to be back in the city. Some things changed and some didn't, but it didn't matter to them anymore. What matters to them is they were now out of prison, and decided to continue living a new life of freedom.

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And the best place to start is where they really belong: Their home, their hideout. They finally made it to the river aqueduct, the same one where their hideout was located.

"Wow, it's been a year since the last time we ever been to this place," Snake looked around wondrously, knowing how much he missed being close to home.

"It has been a year. We're in prison at that time…" Tarantula reminded, and admitted, "Okay, when I woke up this morning, I admit I missed this place."

"Do you still remember where our hideout would be?" Wolf asked sarcastically. He and his friends came back in and out of their hideout every time they went on heists over the years. He was sure everyone knew where their hideout used to be after a year in prison.

Piranha jumped off his seat, and stood up between Wolf and Snake in front, "I got this. I got the brains. Like you guys, I know our hideout like the back of my fin."

Hornet smirked. Knowing his best friend, Piranha isn't as bright as he thought, but Hornet let him have his moment, "So, Mr. Piranha, where's our hideout? I hope you still remember,"

Piranha chuckled, "Of course I do, it's…"

The next thing this group of friends knew was that they were now in front of a giant wall.

"Dead end!" Wolf announced.

They all glared back at Piranha for giving them the wrong direction. But Hornet just stared slyly at Piranha, waiting for him to give up and ask for his help.

Piranha groaned in defeat, admitting he already forgot where their hideout would be, and told his best friend, "Fine, your turn."

He was right! Hornet knew the direction of the hideout as the group were already in the tunnel. The right one.

Hornet laughed hysterically, "I told you I got the brains…!" But the rest of his friends looked back at him, reminding him that he wasn't the only smart guy in the team, "Too," he added, trying to give the rest of his friends some credits for being smart.

The parking lift automatically opened as the car drove inside, and the doors sealed behind them.

Once the gang got out of the car with Wolf carrying the cat, Diane then spoke while the elevator lifted them up to the Bad Guys' hideout.

"Oh, just a head's up, guys, while you were in prison for a year, I did a little cleaning up in your hideout," she said.

"Cleaning up? What 'cleaning up'?" Wolf asked.

When the doors finally opened, the Bad Guys looked inside their hideout, and gasped surprisingly. Their hideout wasn't empty like the last time they were here. Their place is like home once again. The kitchen was still around. The TV and the couch were placed where they belonged. Shark's disguises were hung in clothes racks once again. Tarantula's gadgets were out of the open in an opened box. Some boxes had Hornet's name labeled on them. But most of all, there was a mountain pile of money at one spot of the hideout. There were golden coins and stacks of money. They weren't much, but they might be enough for the Bad Guys when they start a new life.

"More like the opposite of clean up. More like… putting a little mess," Diane chuckled, making her explanation humorous.

The Bad Guys didn't pay attention to Diane as they were distracted by how happy they were when their hideout wasn't empty anymore, and they got some of their stuff back. They all ran inside, and laughed happily. They were happy to be back home.

"Look at all this loot…!" Snake slithered towards the pile of money first. Then, he snatched one of the stacks of money, and sniffed on it, "Hey, this is the same money we stole all those years ago."

Shark then hugged all of his disguise collection, "My disguises! My babies! They're all here!"

Tarantula dug into the box of gadgets to check if all of them were there, "My stuff! Oh yeah!"

Hornet took out two of his notebooks, "Hey, my dia… uh, I mean, notebooks that are all empty, and I hope no one read it while I was gone!" He was hoping Diane didn't read his diaries while he was gone, and he didn't want his friends to know he was keeping diaries.

Piranha jumped onto the couch, and laid down and relaxed, "Ah! I miss you, old couch."

"You… you left us the loot we stole before?" Wolf turned to Diane confusingly, "I thought you took back all of the loot we stole."

Diane smiled, "Oh I did, just some valuable things like the Mona Lisa. When I visited you guys in prison, I saw how much you changed overtime. So, when I heard your sentence was reduced, I decided to give you just a quarter of the loot you stole. I don't want you guys to still think you're all poor when you get back home. The money here is all yours."

The Bad Guys then realized, as the governor, Diane didn't need to follow all of the rules. She had her own loophole. She was the Crimson Paw after all, and criminals sometimes help each other out. At least, giving them back some of their stuff was the good thing to do.

"Thank you, Diane. We appreciate everything you've done for us," Wolf said.

"Well, as a governor, I do promise to help people, including you, Bad Guys," Governor Foxington said, "Just… use the money wisely. That's why I left half of the loot to you guys… to start a new life," But then, Diane looked around where the rest of the Bad Guys were nothing more than happy to have their stuff back, but she was worried they would be planning something else when she returned all of the things they stole last year, "Are you sure you guys are gonna be okay on your own for the rest of the day?"

"Diane, relax, we'll be fine. Now we're back home, we won't hurt ourselves," Wolf reassured her.

"I'm talking about how you guys will adjust to your new freedom without…" she stopped when the rest of the team looked at her, waiting to finish her sentence, and expecting she might judge them. Diane saw this as she couldn't bear to continue with specific words, "You know… what you guys do everyday back in your old days. Let's try these," Diane stuck both of her paws into her pockets, and took out 6 cute toys: a puppy, a guinea pig, a seal pup, a goldfish, a fly, and a butterfly, squeezing them to let out squeaky sounds. "These are stress toys."

Wolf took a little puppy toy, Snake took the guinea pig one, Shark took the seal pup, Piranha took the goldfish, Tarantula took the fly, and Hornet took the butterfly.

"Anytime you feel the urge to cause chaos or mischief, just squeeze," the governor instructed. But when the Bad Guys looked at Diane with the toys in their hands, they squeezed their stress toys really hard and long, the toys popped.

Diane groaned in defeat as she realized she won't stay too long, "Now, I have to go back to my office. I'll leave the life-changing decisions to you guys. I'll see you then."

When Diane left, the Bad Guys just watched her until the doors closed and the elevator descended her down from their hideout.

"Huh, that fox wasn't so bad for us after all," Hornet murmured.

"So, now that we're home, what should we do?" Tarantula asked.

Hornet put his notebooks back in the box, and looked around. He was trying to find a good place to hide his things, but everything around here wasn't so private to him. The place is not his sacred space anymore. He then stared at the big-spaced walls around the hideout, and it gave him an idea. He flew towards his friends, and said, "Hey guys, it made me think something… we all got our own personal things back, but what do you say if we would have our own rooms to keep them?

The rest of the gang looked confusingly at Hornet as Shark asked, "Own rooms? What are you talking about?"

"Our hideout doesn't have much space when we steal stuff, and we only sleep on floors and couches. And our stuff just scattered all over, that's why our stuff was taken like the rest of the things we stole. So, I was thinking that we should have our own space to keep our belongings, and we won't have to worry about finding them," Hornet explained, "Plus, most of us like to do things in private."

After Hornet explained his reason for each of them having their own rooms, Tarantula defended his argument, "Hornet is right though, guys. My laptop almost got lost in the pile of loot after going on a crime those years ago, and I need my own private space anyway. I couldn't concentrate on hacking with you guys making such noise."

Piranha shrugged, "Eh, I agree with you, hermana. I was doing a lot of private stuff too that I couldn't do often."

"Yeah, like what?" Hornet asked.

Piranha's face started to blush where Hornet questioned him. There were a lot of things that Piranha did without his friends knowing as he snapped, "Just anything private!"

"Ooof, I think you're right. I do need my own room too. After our experience in prison, it feels good to have our own spaces from each other," Wolf admitted, "What do you say if we make our own rooms?"

"But how? We don't have other spaces left," Shark asked while his eyes wandered all over the HQ.

At this, Hornet flew around, and landed himself in every empty wall before joining back with the team, "What if we make our own rooms from the empty walls here?"

But Snake was unsure of this plan, "Do you think we will have enough spaces in these walls? I mean, what if we won't have enough space?"

"Well, we did measure the hideout before taking it a long time ago, so maybe these walls have blogger spaces too," Wolf said.

Snake had his tail under his chin to think, and he was still a bit unsure, but he agreed with Hornet of having his own room. Snake did need more space after all, "Well, I don't see why not. I do need my own space from you guys."

"Yaaayyy!" the rest of the Bad Guys cheered.

"We just need a lot of tools to break these walls down," Hornet suggested.

"Ugh, going out already? We just got home," Snake groaned tiredly.

"Let's just rest. It's been a long day since we got out of prison and from our trip home," Piranha pointed.

"Maybe, we can watch a little TV, and we'll buy the tools we need tomorrow for our rooms?" Wolf suggested.

"Ooh, I call the remote," shouted Shark, who ran to the couch and grabbed the remote.

"Aw, no fair, hermano," declared Piranha, who sat back up on the couch. He was on the couch first, but he was too slow to get the remote.

"Why do you always gotta call dibs on the remote?" asked Snake, who just slithered onto the couch and took his seat.

"Calm down, both of you," commented Hornet, who sat on Piranha's head.

"You think anything good will be on?" asked Tarantula, who sat on the top of the couch, while Wolf took his seat right in the middle of the couch.

Shark pressed the on button on the remote, and it turned the TV on. On the TV, it showed a show where there was a car chase involving a red convertible and a bunch of police cars chasing after it.

While the show kept playing, the Bad Guys could not help but begin to flashback to back when they were still being criminals. Seeing that car out-driving the police reminded Wolf especially of the many car chases he loved to start.

"Wow. You know, it's kind of odd to be seeing a car chase considering we usually were the ones sparking one," commented Wolf.

"Were we really like that before?" asked Piranha, who was looking at the screen in concern.

"To think over the years, we were the ones being chased by police. Not that car," mentioned Tarantula.

"Guys, guys, calm down, this kind of thing isn't real," stated Wolf, as he picked up the remote.

"Yeah, but what we used to do those years ago was real," commented Snake, who kept looking at the screen with the show playing.

"That is true," mentioned Hornet.

"Guys, we got to relax," stated Wolf, who then pressed the button on the TV to turn it off before he turned to face his friends, and added, "Besides, we're out of prison now; we're no longer criminals. We have a chance to start on a clean slate, and make a brand new start."

"Easier said than done, Wolf," commented Snake, who slithered towards the fridge to grab something to eat, before he opened the door and saw that the fridge was bare. "Uh guys, I think we're out of food," called out Snake, which prompted the Bad Guys together towards the fridge and saw the empty compartment.

"Dang, amigos. We just got out of prison, and now, we're out of food?" Piranha cried.

"What are we gonna do? We can't starve," mentioned Tarantula.

"No need to worry. We can just use a little bit of the money Diane left us to go to the grocery store and buy some food," Wolf suggested, pointing to the mountain of loot beside them..

"Great. You think we can get some Push Pops while we're at it?" asked Shark, who licked his lips in anticipation.

"Maybe, depending on if we have enough to get some without wasting money," mentioned Wolf.

"Sweet! I could go for some guinea pig," commented Snake, who stuck his tongue out excitedly, wanting to eat a guinea pig.

"Snake!" cried out the rest of the team, who gave mini glares at Snake.

"What? Okay, can't you blame me? You know how I get about guinea pigs," retorted Snake.

"Hey, we can buy the tools and materials we need to make our new rooms along the way!" Tarantula reported loudly and quickly.

"That's a great idea, Webs. Though construction tools are so expensive. We'll just have to calculate how much money we need out of our own loot," Hornet flew towards the pile of money they had, and then took out a calculator, "If we have $7000 divided by 6, multiply to the value of pie—"

But Piranha slapped the calculator down from Hornet's hands, "We don't need math to know how much money we need. Let's just get some from our loot, and put them in our pockets!" Piranha just took some money in his fins, and put them into his pockets.

"Not all of us have pockets, genius!" Tarantula yelled.

"Relax, guys. Let's go food shopping," replied Wolf, who pulled out his car keys as the Bad Guys headed towards the car.

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So, this is my first chapter, and I feel proud of it.

Special thanks to MasterClass60 for helping me make the chapter.

The scene where Diane gave the Bad Guys stress toys, and they ended up squeezing them until they popped was a reference from Owl House: Them's the Break, Kid.

My OC, Mira, the journalist, made a silent cameo in this chapter, and the whole story. Mira appeared in my rewritten version of the Bad Guys Movie. She will have a supporting role in the future.

I hope you like my first chapter. Stay tune!

Next

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 3

A certain redheaded tabloid journalist tracks y/n down at work. Y/n finds out how persistent she is when she makes her an offer she just can’t refuse. 

Trigger warnings: Christianity, stalking, survivor’s guilt

You made it out alive, and that was more than could be said for some. 

Your consolation prize was a ghastly scar on your hand that you kept bandaged up as to not scare small children. You did get some worker’s comp after all; enough to pay for your medical bills and a little extra to make up for the lost workdays. All things considered, you were the lucky one. Four people lost their lives that day and three more were injured far worse than you. You should have felt grateful to be alive.

But somehow that was even worse. You got a couple stitches and some time off. It wasn’t worth four people’s lives. 

Your therapist explained it to you very gently. You were experiencing a phenomenon known as "survivor's guilt". She encouraged you to join a support group, get outside and familiarize yourself with your new experiences. 

This was good advice and all, but yours was the newest, hottest crime. You couldn't go anywhere without being hounded by reporters looking for whatever details you had somehow left out. Dr. Bloom encouraged you to take some time off work until the media circus died down, but you had bills to pay.

"I feel like there should be some rule about re-opening a restaurant within a week of it being an active crime scene." Charissa observed as she wiped down a table. "If anything, it's a health hazard."

"Are you serious?" You scoffed. You'd been tasked with refilling the salt shakers. Appropriate, because there was plenty of salt to go around. "Demand for this place has never been higher. Everyone wants to see if the blood is still on the carpet."

"Hooray for capitalism." She rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna be okay, [F/N]?"

"'Okay' is a very relative term." You forced a laugh. "I think I can make it through the shift if that's what you're asking."

"Aren't you behind the bar all evening?" She asked.

"Yeah, but that means I'm trapped." You folded your arms. "First thing you see when you walk in is the waitress who survived the- what are they calling him?"

"The Baltimore Butcher." She answered with a voice full of vitriol. "Do you think they ever consider the ramifications of giving literal murderers these weird superhero names? Like, no wonder we get copycats, they treat these guys like celebrities."

"Holy shit, right?!" You slammed the salt shaker down on the table. "Y'know, last night on the news, they used the creep's graduation photo and kept saying that he was a good Christian young man with a lot of prospects."

Charissa stuck out her tongue in disgust. "I saw that. And how he was 'corrupted' by crack cocaine. Once again, blaming a drug that was used to villainize poor Black neighborhoods in the 80's as some kind of corrupting agent."

You nodded furiously. "Instead of understanding that Christianity is a violent imperialist religion that lets violent white men absolve themselves of any guilt."

"And they knew it wasn't crack." Charissa added. "I heard that shit was completely uncut. You know he spent a lot on it."

"And I will say this until the day I am put in the goddamn ground," you tensed up. "The only reason the fucker escaped is because he is white."

"Hey y'all." Another waitress walked in for her shift. "What are we talking about?"

"Cocaine." Charissa answered. “Also white privilege.” 

"Great." She said dismissively. "Hey [F/N], can I scoop up that bar shift? I could really use the tips."

"Madison!" Charissa scolded. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" Madison shrugged and glanced at you. "I didn't get any paid time off. I need the money."

"Was that supposed to be a joke?" Charissa scowled. "Are you seriously joking about her trauma?!"

"It's fine, she can have it." You rolled your eyes, then turned them to Madison. "Just know you're the reason I have survivor's guilt."

"Well now I feel bad." Madison frowned.

"Good." You and Charissa said in unison.

It was sort of comforting to get back to the script. Almost nostalgic. It provided the illusion of normalcy in an incredibly abnormal new reality. 

You approached the first table in Madison’s block, hoping for a new beginning. A young woman with fiery red hair sat alone by the window. 

“Hi!” You greeted, with a smile as genuine as you could muster. “My name is [F/N], I’ll be your waiter tonight.” 

The woman smiled back. “Evening.” 

You couldn’t tell what, but something was off. Perhaps you were trying too hard to force normalcy. Or maybe it was the borderline predatory way the woman was looking at you; like a shark following a trail of blood. Either way, the vibes were rancid. 

“Can I start you off with a drink or is water okay?” You ask. 

“Could I possibly trouble you for a glass of chardonnay?” She asked, lowering her eyebrows. 

“Of course.” You nodded and reached for your pen. 

“Actually,” She corrected herself. “If you could bring a bottle and two glasses, I’m expecting company.” 

“Absolutely.” You scribble the order down on your notepad. “Do you have a preference?” 

She thought for a moment. “Oh, dealer’s choice. Whatever you prefer.” 

You soon returned to her booth with a bottle of your favorite chardonnay and two stemmed glasses. You poured a small bit in one glass to let her taste. 

“You have wonderful tastes.” She complimented, filling her glass. “It’s very delicious.” 

You rocked on your heels. “Would you like to place your order now, or do you want to wait until after your guest arrives?” 

“Actually,” she repeated, filling the other glass. “My guest is already here.” 

She slid the glass across the table and gestured to the other seat. 

You felt stupid, but there was no way to avoid this. You couldn't just not do your job. She cornered you by the confinements of your profession.

"I really can't, I'm on the clock." You said, apologetically. The wine beckoned you. "I'm sorry, maybe another time."

"Oh, bummer." The woman placed her chin in her hand and pouted. "Well, I'm sure there's something that would make your boss look the other way."

She glanced down at your bandaged hand, then met your eyes. "The bandages are a dead giveaway, [F/N] [L/N]."

You then noticed a wire sticking from her pocket. Undoubtedly some kind of recording device. You looked at the ground. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."

"But who will drink all this wine?" She asked, raising her glass.

"Ma'am." Your voice hardened as you tried to bite back an overwhelming rage. "Please leave the restaurant. I'm not going to ask you again."

Your manager, Matthew, passed by. "What's going on here?"

"This waitress is being very rude." The woman complained. "I ordered chardonnay, and she brought me chablis."

"Chablis is a type of chardonnay." You corrected. Even you found it strange that this was the hill you were willing to die on. "She asked for my preference, and I prefer the unoaked varieties."

Matthew looked confused. "Well, she's right."

You gestured to her pocket and he caught on immediately. He narrowed his eyes. "Ma'am, please leave the premises or I'll be forced to call the police."

The woman stood up, rummaged through her pockets and slapped a handful of bills down on the table. She then proceeded to drink both glasses of wine and walk away.

Matthew looked at you apologetically as he collected the bills. "Are you sure you want to be here tonight? I can call in someone to cover for you."

You shook your head and grabbed the bottle by its neck. "No, it's okay. I appreciate the concern but I really just want things to go back to normal."

"Hey!" A woman from the adjacent table called out. You prepared to immediately recant your statement about not going home.

"We like chablis." The woman said, gesturing to herself and her friend.

Her friend joined in. "And if that nosy reporter lady isn't gonna drink it..."

You glanced at Matthew, who shrugged. "Sure. It's yours."

The women exchanged delighted looks as you placed the bottle on their table. Matthew handed you a couple of clean glasses and you began to pour.

"For this wine, I suggest any of our wonderful seafood dishes." You explained, your cheeks stinging with a smile. "It also pairs quite nicely with chicken and game bird."

"Thank you." One of the women said. "If you don't mind, we'd like to take a look at the menu, please."

"Of course." You nodded. "Just flag me down whenever you're ready."

"This is why I put you behind the bar, by the way." Matthew gently scolded you as you collected the soiled glasses.

"Didn't you hear?" You said. "Madison needs the money because we can't all have paid time off."

"You should have come to me first." He sighed. "She has no right to say those things to you."

"Never stopped her before." You shrugged.

"I'll talk with her after the dinner rush." He said. "Just... try not to get cornered tonight, okay?"

"I'll do my best." You answered, flatly. “Because that’s definitely something I can control.” 

The rest of your shift went smoothly, or, as smoothly as could be expected given the circumstances. The nosy reporter was right, your bandage was a dead giveaway. You had to dodge a couple of questions, but most people had enough decorum to know the wound--metaphorical and literal--was still fresh. 

You said goodbye to Matthew and Charissa, collected your things and walked out to your car. You put the key in the ignition, only to find your gas tank was completely empty. You had just filled it that morning. 

You bit back a scream and fought the urge to slam your head against the steering wheel. Throwing the door open, you mentally prepared yourself to either make a long trek to the nearest gas station, or beat someone up.

“Looking for this?” A smug voice said over the cicadas. 

You turned around and saw the nosy reporter from before holding up a canister. A deep, blistering fury overtook your face as you slammed the car door. “You siphoned my fucking gas?” 

 “It’s not like you left me with much choice, [F/N].” She crossed her arms. “You’ll get it back once you answer my questions.” 

You threw your head back in disbelief. “You’re Freddie Lounds, aren’t you?” 

“I see I’m not the only one who does my research.” She said, looking a bit impressed. “How’d you know?” 

“It’s the first thing that comes up when you search ‘unethical crime journalists Baltimore’.” You answered. “There’s a whole flair dedicated to you on the subreddit for murder survivors.” 

Freddie seemed proud of herself. “Need a ride?” 

“I’d rather drive off a cliff.” You said, honestly, before turning around to leave. 

“Where are you going?” She walked after you. 

“To get more fucking gas, you evil bitch.” You shouted back. “Are you gonna follow me to the BP too?” 

“Look, I heard what you were saying to your friend.” She called out. “About white privilege.”

“Yeah,” You rolled your eyes. “It’s the same privilege that allows you to siphon a stranger’s gas and sit in a parking lot all night without getting arrested.”

“And I agree with you.” She hurried to your side, her chunky platform boots clacking against the asphalt. “They did you dirty and they’re shooting themselves in the foot by not listening to you.” 

You turned around and threw up your arms. “Why didn’t you just lead with that?”

“I invited you to sit down over a bottle of wine, did I not?” Freddie chuckled. 

“Cornering me at work is not a gesture of goodwill.” You huffed. “And I actually do want to put my story out there, but all you’re accomplishing by stalking me is guaranteeing you won’t be the one to do it.” 

“Are you really in a position to be that selective?” Freddie smirked and placed all her weight on one hip. 

You groaned. “What?” 

“The Baltimore Butcher is still out there, and you won’t be the hot new victim forever.” She grinned sadistically. “Soon enough, him or some other psycho is going to strike, and your fifteen minutes of fame are up.” 

“Good. Then I can go back to living my life.” You said. 

“But what if his next victim is a Christian?” Freddie grabbed your shoulder. “What if the next person who narrowly avoids getting their throat slashed decides to go on record and say that he doesn’t represent ‘real Christianity’?” 

You went quiet. You hadn’t considered it, but the thought of anyone downplaying his faith as a motivation made your blood boil. You looked into the man’s eyes and saw a person driven to kill for his god. A god he shared with the crusaders, conquistadors and slavers. 

“...but it does. Christians colonized half the planet for--” 

You stopped yourself when you saw Freddie’s smile. 

“You want to get on your soapbox, now’s your chance.” She bit her lip. “Take control of the conversation while you still can.” 

“Fine.” You spat. “I get off work tomorrow at four.” 

Freddie shoved the gas can into your hands. “I’ll see you then.” 

[ontheblock]

it’s the breeding headcanon for me…😳 do you perhaps write some kink headcanons for the rest of akatsuki???

well damn, i can try lol. you will def be able to tell who i just don‘t like as much or just don‘t really think sexually about, i‘m sorry lmaoo. i‘ll try my best to keep them proportionally long-

obviously, smut under the cut. mind the tags for tw, i‘ll tag the problematic ones !!

pein

body modification. whenever you get curious about his black receivers or touch them during the act, he has the strong urge to get you something that matches for his eyes only.

inappropriate usage of said black receivers. i‘m sorry, he would absolutely produce a rod from his hand while he is fingering you. he‘ll make it a surprise too. like, warming you up with two fingers and surprise, chakra rod up your hole.

given his past, he wants to hold you as close as he can, always afraid you might fall victim to the evil in this world. naturally, he makes you cockwarm him. it doesn‘t get closer than that :)

man is a pleasure dom.

konan

oral, receiving and giving. but she is prettiest when she holds you firmly but gently by the hair and grinds against your tongue.

breastfeeding/mommy kink because… she is such a nurturing woman by nature. she will let you suck on her tits while she fingers you or let‘s you ride her bare thigh. if you like it, she might even return the favor on both male or female lovers. she just likes your face when you receive pleasure.

she is a passionate lover, just like she is a passionate friend. she likes to see you and hear you. while she will make you beg for her, she doesn‘t like seeing you upset or distressed. happy tears only <3

she is pretty versatile.

itachi

breeding. we been over this.

he gives me strong incest/pseudo incest vibes.

huge praise kink. he will call you the sweetest names, followed up with the nastiest praise you heard in your life. while he isn’t the most vocal man, he talks during the heat of the moment. literally praising everything you do. bonus points if you get flustered easily and scold him for saying embarrassing things like that.

you want him to be flustered for a change? give him head and hold eye contact. sensual, sloppy toppy and he‘s putty in your hands.

also pleasure dom.

kisame

size kink. he‘s huge and wide in both physique and dick size. goes kinda feral when he sees your hands struggling to wrap around his girth. r i p

he would mark you up. he has nice, strong shark teeth and he‘s going to bite your untouched skin. just latches onto your neck while he hits it from behind. (he‘s totally an ass guy, he would leave his mark on your cheek too.) don‘t be shy. leave your mark on him too. scratch his back as much as you want :)

he eats ass like a starved man. actually, he‘s willing to put his mouth anywhere on your body. but definitely has a thing for your ass.

he is horny, that‘s it.

kakuzu

bondage. he will be using earth grudge fear to hold you down in the exact position he wants you in. he‘s going to prove you just how well he mastered the technique over the years by even letting the threads explore your holes.

he would make you cockwarm him during his very necessary money counting sessions. he needs order. you better sit still until he‘s done. he doesn‘t care if hidan walks in while he has you stretched out in his lap.

impact play/pain play. he’s a sadist. not only does he enjoy the way your skin bruises and flushes, he uses it as punishment. besides the death threats, he will silently remember you being a little brat in public. you didn‘t think you would get away with being disrespectful just because he can‘t pull any unwanted attention right now? he has a short fuse and he will get you alone eventually.

corruption. he‘s a dirty old man, what else can i say? he would let you call him daddy when he‘s balls deep inside you. he usually makes sure to cum all over your face but when he really breaks your innocence, he will seal the deal with his seed in your womb.

choking. he got some big hands that fit nicely around your throat. may even tie into a size kink??

very controlling (mean) hard dom who can tame a brat if you forget your place. just don‘t do too much, he might actually kill you someday.

hidan

where do i start? blood? well, his lifestyle kinda revolves around blood. he likes making you bleed, he likes tasting your blood and he likes seeing you bleed. that includes eating you out on your period (if you have periods, that is)

pain play. this goes both ways. he‘s a sadomasochist and extreme on both ends.

predator/prey dynamic. he likes the chase. he‘s an adrenaline junky and nothing gets his dick harder than the heightened senses of a good adrenaline rush.

that includes dubcon/noncon. he likes you to cry and scream, doesn‘t matter how he gets you to do it.

religious rituals. jashinism probably treats sex like some animalistic urge that comes with being alive. and jashinism is all about life and death. he‘s probably got some religious dirty talk up his sleeve, which is just borderline preaching for his god.

also just horny lol

deidara

hands… mouth hands… he will put them on your neck, the sensitive spot behind your ears, your chest, anywhere to tease you. yes, he will eat you out with them while he fucks you.

cum play. he strikes me as someone who would eat you out after a creampie.

he‘s a loudmouth and a bad attitude sometimes but in the sheets he‘s needy and moans all pretty, especially when you ride him.

secretly a sucker for being called “good boy“. he acts up a lot, gets very impatient with you so a good way to shut him up is to stuff your fingers in his mouth and tell him to be “a good boy and put that energy into making me cum.“

hair pulling. when he has an especially intense orgasm, he will hold onto your hair and hold it so tightly it hurts. turning that around, his hips are going to buck up into yours when you take a fistful of his hair and just put firm tension on his scalp.

stubby brat. i‘m sorry, i just see him being his usual self until you get him alone. he pegs me as someone with a sensitive dick-

sasori

brat taming. he likes you well trained. he does it for the results, not really the process. despite his looks, he is a middle aged man so cut him some slack. he gets impatient and won‘t tolerate any slip ups.

the only pet names in his vocabulary are mean and insulting. he may not even call you by your real name. he has no respect for life, so naturally he doesn‘t have respect for human rights.

toys… he is crafty like that and will misuse puppet parts and make specific toys that are to his liking. sometimes he will stuff you full for hours while he‘s busy with working on puppetry. don‘t make a mess of his workshop. maybe he will even make you keep them inside during the day.

all in all, a hard dom but less menacing to society because i do think being a puppet kinda slows his sex drive? i don‘t see him being horny all the time.

tobi

watching cocomelon

i love obito but i just can‘t lewd tobi… that is a child persona lol

zetsu

look, i love zetsu but i don‘t see them having a sex drive.

might let you water them :)

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

The BNHA Group Chat Fic Nobody Asked For

Pairings: Todoroki Touya (Dabi)/Mr Compress (Sako Atsuhiro), Shimura Tenko (Shigaraki Tomura)/Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)/Kurono Hari (Chrono), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)/Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)/Shirakumo Oboro (Loud Cloud), Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)/Kayama Nemuri (Midnight), Bakugo Katsuki/Kaminari  Denki/Kirishima Eijiro, Iida Tenya/Monoma Neito/ Aoyama Yuuga

Word Count: 1,637 Words

Summary: LOV, internships, and Tenko unintentionally reveals a secret some of his classmates keep hidden from even Aizawa.

Warnings: Abduction Mention, Kidnapping Mention, Caps, Death Mention, Injury Mention, Amputation Mention, Prosthetic Mention, Cursing, Blood Mention, Teen/Underage Pregnancy Mention, Pregnancy Mention, Broken Bones Mention, Drugs Mention, Adoption Mention, Half Blind Character, Deaf Characters, Mostly Mute Character (due to a different medical issue), Selectively Mute Character, let me know if I should add anything else.

Notes: In this AU, Hisashi Shimura married Nao Shimura and Inko Midoriya had Hana with Nao then Izuku and Tenko with Inko and Nao respectively before Tenko's power went out of control and killed his parents.

Notes: Honoka (or 和花) means harmony flower. She's named after Hana Shimura. Nanami (or 七海) means seven seas. She's named after Nana Shimura. Akiyama(秋山) means autumn mountain, Sekai (世界) means world, Ayaka (彩花) means colorful flower, Akari (明り) means light/brightness.

Usernames: We Are Number One™ Aizawa: Dadzawa, Aoyama: immafiringmahlaser, Ashido: princessbubblegumknockoff, Asui: Galvan, Iida: Emergency Exit, Uraraka: 9.8, Ojiro: tailfloof, Kaminari: Pichu, Kirishima: baby shark, Koda: youredoingamazingsweetie, Sato: GuyFieriIsGod, Shoji: Cthulhu, Jirou: Jack Skellington, Sero: Spider-Man, Tokoyami: EdgarAllanCrows, Todoroki: WHERE?, Hagakure: cena, Bakugo: WHAT?, Midoriya: SmolMight, Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: exhausted, Yaoyorozu: TheGreatCreator, Kurono: stopwatch, Chisaki: donthugmeimscared, Yukimura: choticgaydisaster, Bubaigawara: shadowclonejutsu, Shimura: idontfeelsogood, Awase: illrememberyouallintherapy, Kaibara: IDOWHATIWANT, Kamakiri: scyther, Kuroiro: itsmeyaboy, Kendo: Akimichi, Kodai: deadinside, Komori: shroomgurl, Shiozaki: wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs, Shishida: furry, Shoda: cryptid, Tsunotori: mylittlepony, Tsubaraba: airbender, Tetsutetsu: Iron Man, Tokage: t-rex costume, Fukidashi: glorifiedtextbubble, Honenuki: Eren Jaeger/spookyscaryskeletons, Bondo: Slimer, Monoma: HopeSummers, Yanagi: iLiEdImDyInGiNsIdE, Rin: snek, Toga: mystique, Sako: lostmymarbles, Hikiishi: queenofmagnetism, Iguchi: eye gucci, Shinokanri: stardust

Usernames: Emos Anonymous Kaminari: blackcloakedbrides, Shoji: fryingpan, Jirou: greentwentyfourhours, Tokoyami: myscientificinfatuation, Todoroki: twentyoneplotpoints, Bakugo: immobileinwhite, Midoriya: falldownboy, Shinsou: stabtheveil, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Chisaki: plummetingininverse, Yukimura: anxietyintheclub, Shimura: nappingwithsirens, Kuroiro: thousandfootcane, Kodai: marianaspit, Monoma: entiretimelow, Yanagi: recentyearsday, Sako: halfminutetomars, Aizawa: hollywoodlivingdead, Shouji: fryingpan, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Aoyama: phantomtown, Honenuki: visualizedragon, Sako: halfminutetomars, Awase: distressparade, Shinokanri: simplestrategy

Usernames: UA Teachers Are Tired™ Eraserhead/Aizawa: grumpy scarf cat, Present Mic/Yamada: screeching cockatiel, Midnight/Nemuri: chaotic goth gay Ingenium/Iida: gotta go fast, AllMight/Toshinori: actual sunshine, Vlad King/Kan: bloody hell, Power Loader/Majima: speechtotext, Ectoplasm: needalegup?, Snipe: kazoo cowboy, Cementoss: concrete block, Blackmist/Kurogiri: goth portals

Me? A Bitch? More Likely Than You’d Think-Chapter 8

10:03 am

We Are Number One™

Dadzawa: So, I heard someone's operating the LOV again?

idontfeelsogood: No, it's inactive. There shouldn't be anyone in it, all of us are here, in UA becoming heroes, none of us would become villains again EVER. At the very most, drop out and live life out as a normal couple, but never become villains again. We all talked about this.

mystique: yeah, if we did, we would have told you heroes already about that one of us and have them put with Koku and the two creeps

Dadzawa: Well, someone's running it and it seems they had a meeting with the yakuza and I'm afraid I need all of you to be under constant supervision by a pro hero for a short while.

stopwatch: If it proves our innocence we shall do it.

2:01 pm

We Are Number One™

lostmymarbles: @chaoticgaydisaster Agency is fun. I really like working under Sir Nighteye.

chaoticgaydisaster: That's because you're both really serious and you get along very well.

lostmymarbles: Perhaps.

lostmymarbles: Oh, we're already going on a patrol! I'll call you when I come back from patrol, honey!

chaoticgaydisaster: I love you, you absolute dork.

3:59 PM

We Are Number One™

Dadzawa: I've just received word that Atsuhiro Sako has been kidnapped during his patrol.

chaoticgaydisaster: GET MY HUSBAND BACK THEN!

Dadzawa: Calm down, you need to be rational. He should be fine. They're looking for him as we speak.

chaoticgaydisaster: Please don't let him die? I love him, I need him.

Dadzawa: I can't promise you anything sadly, I'm not a part of the rescue team right now but they'll involve me if it becomes more serious.

chaoticgaydisaster: Can I have a Good Dad™ hug?

Dadzawa: Of course, come to the teacher's dorms, Hitoshi is already here stealing said hugs.

5:25 PM

We Are Number One™

Dadzawa: I have confirmation that they've found Sako. He's mostly fine.

WHERE?: What do you mean 'mostly'!? That's my brother-in-law!

Dadzawa: It looks as though his left arm has been ripped off but they're currently working on both healing him and attaching a prosthetic that would allow him to still channel his quirk through the arm.

mystique: Has anyone seen Tami?

eye gucci: She was with the Fatgum Agency I think.

baby shark: I haven't seen her for a while. She showed up with me and then she just kinda disappeared near...oh

stardust: what is 'oh'? What happened to our favorite girl?

baby shark: She disappeared at around 2 or 3 just like when Sako disappeared.

Dadzawa: I'll send the search team out for her too.

6:19 PM

We Are Number One™

Dadzawa: Magne is back! She's in the ICU recovering now, she needed some pretty strong healing so she'll be out of commission for quite a while. We haven't closed the investigation but you LOV kids need to know the message stapled on your friends.

Dadzawa: [pic of two papers reading 'here take this back, we don't need him yakuza' and 'I will always run the League.']

Dadzawa: Do these mean anything to any one of you?

idontfeelsogood: I'm so done. I've been hiding from a little twerp, I can't even believe I was scared of him. He's going too far, like always, and I thought he'd changed like we did but he didn't. I'm going to sort this shit out. Send a search team by tomorrow morning at 6:30 if nobody sees me by then, I have some business to take care of.

Dadzawa: wait, AllMight will have my head if you get hurt!

idontfeelsogood is now offline

Dadzawa: fuck.

6:34 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

grumpy scarf cat: so it looks like Tenko is going off-grid for what I'm going to call a 'private investigation' into the revived LOV. He's apparently taken his hero supervisor with him because Ragdoll is gone with him and he's going to, and I quote, "sort this shit out". and requested a search team if he doesn't show back up in 24 hours.

yeet yeet bitch: yeesh, you really can't catch a break, huh, Shou.

grumpy scarf cat: I'm starting to wish I expelled them at this point.

gotta go fast: bullshit, they're our disciples and you know it.

yeet yeet bitch: you're right but why say it?

9:35 PM

We Are Number One™

donthugmeimscared: No sign of Tenko yet, Hari, I'm getting worried.

stopwatch: Me too, but we need to trust he can do this.

shadowclonejutsu: he should be fine, guys. he'll be okay.

6:17 AM

We Are Number One™

donthugmeimscared: Almost 12 hours

Dadzawa: I know, Kai.

donthugmeimscared: Do you think he'll be okay, Mr. Aizawa?

Dadzawa: honestly, I don't know but I'm here to offer you hugs if you need them.

donthugmeimscared: Thank you but I can't do hugs right now, too constricting.

6:30 AM

We Are Number One™

Dadzawa: the search party is officially being sent out to get him.

4:17 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

screeching cockatiel: we found him and we have the traitor under arrest. Tenko looked worse for wear so he's at the hospital already

actual sunshine: Who's the traitor?

screeching cockatiel: Minoru Mineta.

actual sunshine: I'm glad he was arrested.

gotta go fast: Yagi, are you and Tenko okay? you've always sympathetic when it was someone underage being arrested.

actual sunshine: it becomes null when my mentor's son gets hurt. blood to me or not, I can't feel sympathy for someone who's hurt him. he didn't have a childhood to begin with and I won't let anyone take what little is left of it from him.

screeching cockatiel: is he okay, Yagi?

actual sunshine: Since he's in my temporary custody until Ms. Midoriya can finalize her adoption paperwork, they contacted me first with his injury report and I would like that purple little shit to burn for what he's done.

yeet yeet bitch: Do you wanna elaborate?

actual sunshine: His leg is broken. The leg he had an injury in before. They have to fix it again.

yeet yeet bitch: Shit.

actual sunshine: Along with that, he's been deemed unable for further stress in the form of training and extraneous activities because the hospital confirmed he's eight months pregnant and needs to deliver early due to the drugs Mineta forced into his bloodstream.

yeet yeet bitch: Fuck, this isn't good.

actual sunshine: I'm pushing Ms. Midoriya's paperwork up through the courts as an emergency adoption due to the situation of him being her technically being his step-mother and her son being his only remaining relative, even if only by half of his blood and him needing a stable family after the birth of a child.

yeet yeet bitch: Hopefully they'll get it done quickly.

actual sunshine: Until then, I need to go offline and be there for him as his only parental figure and the only other person allowed in the delivery room.

screeching cockatiel: What do we tell the children? Tenko's boyfriends?

actual sunshine: Hari was already called to the hospital but they cannot confirm it's his child so I'll be the only familiar face to young Tenko in the room for the delivery.

actual sunshine: I must go.

actual sunshine is now offline

8:17 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

actual sunshine: Tenko is fine, out of surgery for the C-Section and in recovery now. the two little girls are fine too, both are a little smaller but that's expected since they're both premature and Tenko never gained much weight during the pregnancy.

grumpy scarf cat: I still can't believe he's been pregnant his whole stay at UA. hell, he was probably pregnant during the USJ incident at the beginning of the year.

actual sunshine: You're probably right and I don't like that idea, Aizawa.

grumpy scarf cat: me either but that's the reality of the situation.

10:24 PM

We Are Number One™

idontfeelsogood: Out of surgery in recovery. Got drugged and they needed to induce me there to give birth, which I didn't even know I was pregnant. Two healthy little girls named Shimura Honoka and Shimura Nanami.

chaoticgaydisaster: Welcome to the teen mom club, Tenko.

WHERE?: We have meetups on Mondays and Fridays and have playdates with the kids.

idontfeelsogood: I thought you two were the only ones with kids though?

wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs: No, I have a one year old son, he is the light of my life.

WHAT?: Well, I mean...

princessbubblegumknockoff: I best be going! Wouldn't want to burn down the house with the water I left running.

spookyscaryskeletons: Oh, would you look at that, it's time to go to sleep and never speak of this again.

Dadzawa: wait, we have seven of you now? I thought we just went up to three!

Dadzawa: And Honenuki, I never expected you to be a teen parent.

spookyscaryskeletons: Whaaaaaat? Nooooo. I never said that. I said I was going to bed! I'm just going to bed!

Dadzawa: Suspicious.

spookyscaryskeletons: I certainly don't have a one year old son named Akiyama. Nope, not at all.

wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs: My son's name is Sekai.

princessbubblegumknockoff: Honestly, I thought you'd read that in my file. I was basically just out of the two day hospital stay when I took the entrance exams to get into UA.

baby shark: Can confirm, my moms watched her daughter that day.

princessbubblegumknockoff: Her name is Ayaka.

WHAT?: You literally met Akari when you visited my house.

Dadzawa: that wasn't your parents' child!? That was a ten month old child!

WHAT?: No, I fucking made that!

Dadzawa: I shouldn't be shocked I got six of the seven teen parents in this school. well, if you need me, please don't hesitate to ask me for help.

WHAT?: Well, I want to bring Akari to the dorms because she'll be safer here. She's been staying with Auntie Inko for a month or so now.

Dadzawa: of course.

Taglist: @logan-sanders-enthusiast @luckyicekitsune @whippedbel @lgbtforeverything @pinecone-chomper @mikmacmoo @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @purplespiderstormcloud @stankyratman @king-of-the-oranges @headcannons-and-random-things @fear-ze-queer @turtleluv799 @ymmm-someone

[todragonsart]

The taste of wine - Chapter 1 - Siege-O-Ween Oct 29th

Prompt:  “I suppose, my secret’s out”

I welcome everybody back! It’s been such a long-long-long time, since I actually enjoyed writing something. I mean, times like that happen to any kind of writer or artist, and I’m just so happy to be out of it. This was so much fun, and why would we stop at just 6000 words? Come on!

Okay, honestly, I wanted to stop. I wanted to write a shorter one, but it kept going and going and going and now I’m planning like... 4 more chapters and a prologue :’) DoN’t HuRt Me PlEaSe <3 

As always, I can’t thank @r6shippingdelivery​ and @freedert95​ enough for helping me with the beta-reading. You two are absolutely life-and-sanity-saving and I love you both very much.

Oh and also, this is for @dualrainbow​‘s Halloween event, so thank you guys too, for resurrecting me from the dead! 

I hope you enjoy!!

“I want you to help me die.”

Mike turned towards the man standing on his right, eyes wide with shock. He let his gaze wander, just for a second, on the other. His tall, proud posture, his handsome face, basking in the dim candle light, his gentle, green eyes now looking at him full with hope, expecting help. How could a so-called monster look this innocent, the soldier couldn’t fathom. Why would he want to die? And more importantly, why would he want to be killed by somebody like Mike?

In his wondering, he almost missed the way the other’s lips pulled into a small smile. “You won’t help me, will you?”

Lifting his chin a bit, Mike looked the other in the eyes and he couldn’t help, but think ‘what a waste’, but shook his head anyway. “I will.”

The man seemed caught off guard- almost surprised for a second, but his smile widened as hope filled him even more.

Mike shook his head, looking away. What a waste.

But how did he get into this situation in the first place?

The Boogie-man. Zombies. Ghosts. Mummies. Werewolves. Monsters . Mike Baker had never really understood them. He understood the concept, and the literature, but he didn’t understand the need. It was just the need to be scared. Or even more, the need to force the fear of darkness into the shape of something understandable. Because that is what all these so-called supernatural monsters were, weren’t they? Just images made by scared children on a moonless night. A howl? A wolf! A growl? A zombie! A mug falling down? Definitely the leftovers of a dead person. Not the wind. Obviously not the wind.

Mike never said that he didn’t believe that something was hiding in the dark, far from it - being a soldier, facing new threats every other day made him learn that in fact there was always something around the corner, ready to attack. But nonetheless, he was sceptical of the supernatural.

Living in this world for 54 years he never met any kind of supernatural monster that could have been killed with only silver, salt or fire. In fact the only monsters he met were people. People acted way worse then any animal or entity ever could, hurting others and themselves, acting selfish and rude, being agressive and stupid. Obviously not every person, but he was facing terrorists, he believed he had seen the worst of worsts. He had seen men murdering innocent people, he had seen organizations turn children into mindless soldiers and he had seen mothers killing their loved ones and then themselves for the ‘greater good’. He had seen a lot. Like a lot . But he had never met any kind of supernatural monster, so yeah.

He had every right to be sceptical, and ironical, because he did not understand the fear of the unknown and darkness like a normal person did. Howls? There was no werewolf able to sound as a friend dying from an open wound. A growl? The unhappy sound of a terrorist being cuffed. A mug falling down? The reaction to a newly found biochemical weapon. No monsters, just people. Bad-people.

He started to feel bad for the monsters in books, tv shows and poems at one point. All that screaming, shouting and wanting to capture or kill them… Why were they the ones being chased? That was the other question. Why were the monsters always bad? Why would a werewolf or zombie or mummy or anything attack the human beings, like they did in the stories? To hunt them, taste their blood and eat them and their brains? Oh come on.

The fact that sharks don’t even like the taste of human meat must mean something!

But it could be the blood... All animals had blood, why would a vampire attack that one human being, when they could hunt a calm cow, or something. Much less screaming, much less effort, much easier target.

And don’t even start with the brain bullshit. Why would anything try to eat the brain?! The people mindlessly attacking others for being a little bit different than they are were empty anyway!

And also, why would a demon or spirit or whatever the fuck attack humans after their life? What if they are stuck and just need help? What if they just want to be friends?!

He believed in ghosts, tho, he did. But not the… ‘the white sheet with two holes for the eyes on it’ kind, obviously. He believed the ghosts of the past. The screaming in his nightmares about the wars, the eyeless people standing behind him in the mirror, the feeling of his mother’s gentle hand on his shoulder.

Ghosts.

But not the hollywood ghosts scaring innocent people. His own ghosts. Some of them were bad, some of them were good, even soothing. Mementos of his childhood, his first love, his daughter. Good ghosts, who never wanted to hurt him, in fact most of the time, they helped him in their own way.

And after all… everything started with a ghost.

The ghost of his father.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

When he first noticed the familiar figure, he was in the middle of buying baked beans in the supermarket. He was all alone, thinking about calling Penelope after dinner, to ask where would his grandson want to go this year for a little Trick-or-treating during Halloween, minding his own business with the cans, when he noticed a tall, dark figure just outside the shop’s front window.

He didn’t even notice it first, but when he felt the unmistakable feeling of being watched, he looked up, right at the dark figure. The long coat, the old hat, the wide shoulders; he caught himself thinking, Dad…? But his father died at least thirty years ago, so yeah. It was kinda suspicious.

He looked around, trying to find out if anybody could see the figure, and as he looked back, the window was empty.

Strange.

But the ghost of his father had never been a bad omen. Maybe he should visit his grave. Or perhaps it was a reminder that he forgot to put on his watch this morning, the one that once belonged to his father.

Shrugging, he went back to pick the beans and that was it.

Or so he thought.

Because, not long after this, he noticed the figure again. He was just arriving to his boat after a disgustingly long day of work, ready to open a beer and crash on his couch, when he saw the familiar silhouette from his peripheral vision. He turned his head, but as the last time, the figure was gone.

Mike lifted an eyebrow. It was his father’s birthday coming up soon. Heh. Motherfucker never missed a chance to make people wish him happy birthday after all.

Shrugging it off again, he entered the boat, and did as he planned with his beer and couch.

But obviously, it happened again. The tall figure standing patiently, just looking at him from afar when he arrived home, bought his supplies, walked down the streets. The well known shadow never moving, never looking like it was alive, never changing.

He once even noticed the figure standing at the docks, as if waiting for him to get home. It was strange and the feeling of being watched never seemed to disappear.

The last straw was when he noticed the shadow during the night he was with his daughter and grandson, Trick or treating, having fun. He almost missed it again, the silhouette standing in a dark alleyway just the other side of the road. As he saw the shadow there, Mike got furious all of a sudden. Hanging around, waiting for him was one thing, but bugging him during family times? A real jerk move.

As he noticed, he immediately stopped in his track and turned towards the figure, stepping down the pathway. His gaze was fixed on the figure that looked like its usual, frozen self, but as it noticed his attempt of getting closer, it did the strangest thing: it moved.

It wasn’t a scared wince or anything a normal human would do when they were discovered doing something bad, it was just a surprised lift of shoulders and a slight tilt of hat, but it was something . And as Mike took one more step forward, the figure did the same thing backward. And that was when the good omen of his father turned into a human monster, because who else would follow him around every night just standing still and watching. He had a stalker. One of the most disgusting kind of monsters.

His instincts kicking in, he reached for his gun, but the second he touched it an ear-rippingly loud car honk pushed him out of his state of mind. He was standing in the middle of the road and a very angry driver just honked at him again.

Looking at the man behind the wheel, Mike sniffed and let his gun slip back into its holster. He glanced back at the figure, but that motherfucker was gone. Of fucking course.

Great.

Not caring for the loud honking at all, he turned back and stepped on the pathway again.

A stalker.

Glancing back at the other side of the road, he lifted his chin, looking around.

A ghost? A stalker? A monster, maybe. A human one, who was apparently afraid of him.

It didn’t matter. It was time to end their relationship.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Except the figure disappeared.

Not in the term a ghost would, because Mike still felt like he was being watched, but he didn’t see the silhouette again. It pissed him off, but he was smarter than giving up. Instead, he turned to his team.

He asked Marius - one of the best tinkerers the world has ever seen in his opinion - to install a few cameras around his boat, so that he can monitor every movement from within his home, and Marius - although a little bit weirded out - delivered. Mike was satisfied, he finally got a chance to get ahead of the mysterious staker, now all he needed to was to be patient and he never had a problem with that.

He waited for three weeks without seeing the shadow again, but on the fourth Friday, he finally caught it on record. Since the cameras were recording live, and he spent his nights sitting in front of them, he just caught a glimpse of the figure’s coat. It was fucking four in the morning, and he was doozing off before, but the second he saw the movement, he got on his feet and reaching for his gun, he rushed to the exit of his boat, all tiredness forgotten.

The adrenaline was rushing in his ears as he burst out of the door, gun in hand. It took him just half a second to find the figure in the darkness, then he was already charging towards it, running like he never ran before.

“Stop right there!” he shouted and again, he caught the figure off guard; it winced from the sudden sound in the otherwise peaceful night. It looked around, trying to find a place to hide, clearly trying to escape, but the old soldier was fast. The moment the figure turned away in an attempt to run, it made a mistake and Mike caught it’s arm in his iron grip. The force of him tugging at the figure efficiently knocked it’s hat off just to reveal a patch of sweaty, ginger hair. He lifted an eyebrow, tugging at the arm again, trying to get a better look, but the figure just seemed to have more than enough of this abuse.

Knowing all too well that trying to slip from Mike’s grip was a useless motion, it instead planted its feet and turning on its heels it kicked the soldier on his side, efficiently knocking the air out of his lungs. Wheezing, Mike immediately let go of the arm, gasping for air. Growling swears he looked at the figure, but it was on the run already, making distance between the two of them.

Spitting, Mike got himself together, and rushed after the figure. He had been waiting for this fight since Halloween and he wasn’t going to let that motherfucker run away once more. The figure was fast, but Mike was angry, and it made him more dangerous and reckless. He had no problem keeping up with the pace, in fact, he was catching up to the shadow step by step. He was ready to finish this.

In their chase, Mike kind of forgot to look where he was going, but it didn’t really matter. The only thing in front of his eyes was the prize of finally catching this motherfucking stalker, the changing of landscape around them didn’t matter at all-

Until it did.

Mike had no idea how, but they ended up in the more abandoned corner of Hereford. There were mostly suburban areas or empty factories on this side of the town. How did they even get here!? He looked around in concern, taking deep breaths. He had no idea, he only started to notice everything around him just now.

He still had the figure right in front of him, but their distance started to grow as his legs got tired of the running. The adrenaline in his blood slowly faded away, and with that, his energy did too.

He soon noticed himself gasping for air, his sight getting a bit blurry, slowing down, which was- not a problem namely because the figure was heading towards the last building in the line, which turned out to be a… a church? Really? A church.

Before he could ridicule the shadow in his head, he saw it run straight up the front stairs of the building, and the next thing reaching his mind was the loud band of the door being shut.

Taking big gulps of air, Mike let himself collapse on the ground, eyes fixed on the building. This might have been the strangest night of his entire life, and it was far from over. Giving himself a few minutes, he just sat there, watching the building, kind of waiting for the figure to escape again, but there was no movement around the church. Odd.

He wiped the sweat off of his forehead and stretched as he stood up. Twisting, he popped his spine and with a low groan he approached the church. He couldn’t see any movement around the door, but as he stepped on the first stair, he noticed how a light had been lit in the window of the church tower. So, there was somebody home.

He pulled his gun out - just in case - and stepped to the door, slowly pushing it in; it wasn’t even properly closed. Holding his weapon as steady as possible, Mike stepped in. It was pitch black. Grimacing, he fished his small flashlight out of his pocket, turning it on. The narthex was empty, only a few old benches left, waiting since god-knows how long, for people who never came.

Mike looked around and noticed a smaller entrance door. Stepping there, he glanced inside the nave and seeing no movement, he entered. Looking around, he lowered his gun a little. Rows of benches, hand-made pillars, a few old, wooden sculptures of Saints here and there, with their additional little plaques of info. Mike hummed, directing his flashlight at each of them. There was nothing unusual, really just a worn down little church. He didn’t even know that there was a church in this part of the town and he has been living here for a good 10 years now.

Getting deeper into the building, he started to measure the space in his head, trying to find the stairs into the attic. It was a small church so it was not many places where they could hide the way up. His hard guess was behind the main altar, so he made his way there, making sure he was as silent as possible.

As he arrived into the crossing, he stopped to take a quick look into both of the transept sides, that was when he noticed it. It wasn’t a big thing to notice, but it was strange on its own. On one side he saw an old Virgin Mary, the other held an equally old St. Joseph. Squinting, he glanced back at the other sculptures in the nave. All of them were old, but otherwise clean. The benches were left to rot, but every statue was in the best shape, not a single part missing or paint being spotty.

“What the fuck?” Mike heard himself whisper, but glanced in the direction of the main altar. The Jesus there was in the best shape possible. Mike shook his head, and stepped up to the main altar. He glanced at the sculpture, tilting his head a little. “Listen, if he is just a strange fan of mine I won’t hurt him, but otherwise… I can’t promise you anything. Don’t come after me later, okay?” with a smirk, he shook his head. Always an atheist.

Behind the altar, he noticed a small door, hidden from even the front rows. Getting more and more relaxed in this very strange situation, he lowered his gun completely as he entered the small door and there he found it. The stairs to the attic! According to the soft lights at the top of the stairs, he found what he was looking for.

He switched off his flashlight and started to climb still as silent as possible. He was about… 99,9% sure the stalker knew about him, but still. This time, he wanted to be the one hiding in the dark.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

He was around half of the stair when he heard some kind of a rustling under his boots. He froze in the middle of his movement - not wanting to be heard -, and looked down in a slight panic. Squinting, he leant down; a plastic bag? Okay, what now?!

He gently stepped off the bag and lifted it up in the weak light of the staircase. Mike’s eyes rounded as he recognized the object in his hand. It was a very strong bag with rows and rows of writing printed on it, informing the handler about the date, the place and the type of blood. 0-. Mike closed his eyes and opened them again, hoping that the plastic bag would… maybe miraculously turn into fairy dust and butterflies, but the plastic bag remained. Normally he was okay to see this bag, it was a useful little object, you know, saving lives here and there, but- this one was empty. Why the fuck was it emtpy, it was clearly used before. He glanced up at the top of the stairs. Okay what the fuck.

Taking a gulp of air, he stuffed the bag in his pocket and continued his way up. As he got to the last few steps, he first noticed a door on top of the stairs, and it being slightly open, he heard a soft sound. Stopping yet again, he tried to concentrate, and soon could make out the sound of fabric rustling and gentle tones of a piano.

Getting more and more confused, he finished his journey up, lifted his gun in front of himself, and without knocking or giving any warning, he burst into the attic, just to be greeted by a pair of green eyes fixed on him. He lifted his eyebrows. He has seen this look somewhere, but he couldn’t, for the love of god, tell where.

The eyes belonged to a - very - handsome face of a young man. He had elegant and sharp features, with a bit of arrogance hidden in his posture. He was without a doubt attractive, but Mike couldn’t care, because the young man had locks of ginger hair on his head, and who had that as well? His dear stalker. So he pointed the gun at the other, who was annoyingly calm.

“It took you long enough to get up the stairs. Might be the age,” said the stranger, with an amused little smirk. He looked away, down to the table and reaching out he poked on the phone laying on the surface. The soft piano stopped. “I started to get worried.”

Anger building in him, Mike gritted his teeth. “Who are you? Why are you following me? What do you want? What the fuck is this?!”

The stranger smiled at that, looking back at him, never noticing the gun. “My name is Olivier Flament. I have been following you, because I need to ask you a favour. I would like to ask for your help in an important matter. As for what… I believe this is my home.”

Struck by the strange honesty of the other Mike blinked a few, lowering his gun just a tiny bit. “What matter? Why were you following me?”

“I told you, I need your hel-”

Mike cut in. “Why were you following me everywhere for almost three months?”

The man fell silent, he glanced at the table. He almost seemed… shy?

“Spit it out!” Mike grumbled, making the other look up. His posture might have been calm, but his eyes were like the sea before the storm.

“I didn’t know how to approach you, see my lifesty-”

“So you decided to follow me, even with my family and when I try to catch you, you run? Almost not suspicious.”

Olivier looked at him for a few long seconds, trying to figure him out. It has been harder than he planned so far, and if he didn’t play it cool, he would get into a deep problem. “Look, I didn’t mean to scare you, but-”

“Oh you didn’t scare me.” Mike lifted his gun, pointing straight to the other’s head. “You made me angry. ”

The young man turned his head down, now looking guilty. “I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt you or your family, I swear to God. I need your help. Please, just listen-!”

Mike watched him, standing there, one hand on the table, leaning there a bit, trying to move away from him. He noticed something… inhuman in this man, something otherworldly. The posture, the face, the eyes… It was so strange. Not unpleasant, far from it, just odd.

The soldier lowered his gun a little, and took the plastic bag out of his pocket, throwing it in front of the other. “What is this crap?”

Looking down, Olivier hummed. “That’s my favourite. I probably had the same type back in the Dark Ages, and now I find it delicious.”

Mike’s grip on the gun tightened. “Quit the jokes, mate!”

The young man didn’t answer, he just glanced to the left. Following his eyes, Mike looked away, just to see a little fridge. It had an open cooler bag in front of it, what had about 10-15 similar blood packs in it. He looked at the man again, grimacing in disgust. “You are sick.”

The other shook his head. “I am really not. Don’t think that I enjoy drinking human blood in particular. It is not a very exciting diet after 800 years, but it does what it needs to, and still better than starving, or hunting and hurting the innocent.”

Mike glanced at the bags again, and then back at the man standing in front of him. “If you tell me, you are a fucking vampire, I will vomit.”

The sides of Olivier’s mouth pulled up into a gentle smile, and crossing his arms in front of him, he nodded. “I suppose… my secret’s out.”

“You are joking!” Mike blinked.

Olivier shook his head with that amused little smile. “No. And you didn’t vomit. Surprising.”

The soldier shook his head. “You are crazy!”

“Says the man who chased another through a town, gun held high, ready to murder.”

With an unamused grimace Mike rolled his eyes. “You should be happy that I’m just holding my gun and not using it.”

“Not to sound too smart, but that wouldn’t do too much harm on my body. See, this is the problem. As far as I know, I’m pretty undestroyable.”

Mike lifted an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Olivier nodded. “If you would like, I can show you,” before finishing, he already reached for a letter opener on his table. It looked sharp, and he held it out for Mike to see, then without a heartbeat, he pressed the edge into his own palm.

For reasons unknown, Mike immediately reached out, to catch his hands before he could hurt himself, but confusion hit him even more, when there was not a single drop of blood coming out of the wound. In fact, the raw flesh - or at least what was supposed to be the raw flesh - did not look the way it was supposed to look like. It was not red and healthy, but grey and… there wasn’t any blood. Not a single drop.

Mike slapped his palm across his mouth, and shutting his eyes, he took two steps back, turning his face away. There was no blood, there was no smell, there was nothing . Nothing human. What the fuck. Now he felt like vomiting. He looked up at Olivier. “What the fuck is… What!?”

The man looked at him and humming, he put down the letter opener. He picked up a piece of fabric, wrapped it around his hand. It didn’t really serve any purpose other than hiding the disturbing wound from Mike out of pure sympathy. It wasn’t an easy thing to see. “You seemed very confident in yourself just a second ago.”

“Fuck.” With a huge sigh, Mike held back his dinner, and taking a deep breath he adjusted his posture. “Okay. Okay. Let’s pretend, for a second, that I believe you. What do you really want? What kind of help do you need from me ? Do you want to eat me, or something? That is why am I here?”

Hearing this, Olivier suddenly seemed annoyed. “If you would just calm down a little, I would tell you everything!”

“Get on with it!” Mike shouted suddenly, with his gun held up again.

The man- or vampire- or what the fuck stood there, mouth slightly open, eyes helpless. He bit his bottom lip and turned his head down again, lifting both his hands in a soothing motion. “Please... “ he glanced up at him again, almost scared. “I know exactly how this sounds, alright? But I… I don’t want to cause harm to you, I swear. I wanted to introduce myself to you, but I have spent the last… forty-something years of my life being in- being alone, and I had no idea how to approach you! This is the truth, I don’t- I don’t want to hurt you, you are not my type! I do not even enjoy hunting humans, all that screaming and blood and waste…” Olivier shook his head slowly, looking Mike in the eyes. “I swear. I don’t want to eat you, I don’t want to harm you, I’m more than happy with those bags. I genuinely need your help!”

With jaws clenched, Mike watched his every move, considering his options. He slowly lowered his gun, and side-eyeing the vampire, he turned around to observe the surroundings. It was a way of getting used to the situation, and also it was a test of the other. He wanted to see how Olivier reacts to him in his own home, if it could even be called that. With a frown, he looked around.

The attic was spacious, with a few smaller windows built into the roof. It was divided into two, a smaller room, which reminded him of an office, that was where they were standing. It had a heavy, old table - Olivier waiting patiently beside that - pushed under a window, close to the wall, an equally old leather chair, a few cabinets with papers, candles, smaller and bigger containers, a small, locked chest, and other unusual stuff piled on them and the fridge with the fantastic blood bags in it.

The other half of the attic was just behind Olivier. Not knowing what to expect, Mike looked around. He didn’t see a bed or a coffin or anything where somebody would be able to rest comfortably, but he had a hard guess that Oliver - if he was truly what he said to be - didn’t really need sleep. However he saw an old couch and two nice armchairs in front of a- a- a bookshelf. Well. A bookshelf was a very, very weak expression. It wasn’t just one bookshelf, he saw at least three or four of them, and each one was stacked with books. And not just the shelves, no, there were books everywhere. Everywhere. It looked like a motherfucking library over there. Piles of books behind the couch, around the armchairs, stuffed into the window slots, put on the beams and around the columns. It was so messy, yet amazing, Mike couldn’t help but let an amused little snort out.

He looked back at Olivier, who was still standing next to the table, waiting for him, without a single movement. He didn’t take a breath, he didn’t blink. Sniffing, Mike lowered his gun completely. “A vampire?”

Olivier nodded.

“How old are you?”

“As far as I remember, I have been turned-” he hummed. “ around AD 750-850.”

Mike lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘around’?”

Olivier cleared his throat, looked away as if he was embarrassed. “We didn’t really have birth certificates back then and my memory is kind of blurry from a 1200 years of perspective, don’t judge me.”

Mike hummed. “Is this your real name?”

“I have been called many names over the years, I don’t know if you have noticed, but it’s sort of suspicious if somebody uses a name for 1200 years, but don’t worry. For those who I wish to get close to myself I am Olivier Flament, yes.”

“Why are you talking like this…? I’m a simple man.”

“Then you might know that old habits die hard.”

Not being able to hold back, Mike smirked at that. “Touché.”

Olivier nodded gently. “Would you like to ask anything else?”

“Who turned you? Are there more of you?”

Looking away, Olivier started to fidget with the phone - actually an iPhone - on his table. “I don’t really know who turned me and I don’t know about the others. To be honest, I don’t wish to have any connection with them anymore. I have had enough, especially since the so-called “Dracula” figure ruined our reputation in popular culture.”

Lifting his eyebrows, Mike almost burst out laughing. “You are- you are hurt by the movies?”

“Since they tell false facts, obviously yes.”

“Why don’t you correct them, then?”

Now it was Olivier’s turn to lift his eyebrow. “And how do you expect me to do that? March over, knock on the silver gates of Hollywood and say ‘Excuse me, we do not actually sparkle under the sunlight, says me, an actual vampire!’ or what? I’m not a fool. As soon as I tell the humans what I am, there would be one of these two options: one, they would want me to turn them into vampires as well, for the fun of living forever, or the second, they would panic as the herd of animals they are and chase me until they either catch or kill me. Not like they would succeed in any of these options, but it’s easier for me to just lay back in silence and busy myself with the old knowledge of the early ages.”

Mike, taken aback, just shut up for a few seconds, lifting his palms in a protective gesture, but it was for the looks only. He somehow did not feel the need to protect himself anymore, in fact, Oivier reacting so seriously to a simple joke put him at ease. He liked it here, and he found himself being interested in the other. It was still a far-fetched idea, and he was still 60% sure that he will wake up on the ground in his boat, with a few empty bottles of whiskey around him, but this wasn’t so bad after all. The vampire seemed almost nice, and he was never really down to judge at the first glance, so why not wait and hear him out?

Noticing his own rambling, Olivier fake-cleared his throat again and turned down his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I assume you have been saving this up since a very long time.”

“Indeed.”

With a small, amused smile Mike shrugged. “It’s okay. But if you don’t want to tell people what you are, why tell me?”

“I have heard about you before, and I trust that you won’t tell my secret to anybody. I believe you could help me with my problem. I know it is very hard for you to understand my reasons and drive, but I put my trust into you.”

Mike narrowed his eyes. “What do you need my help for?”

“I want you to help me die.”

Mike turned towards the man standing on his right, eyes wide with shock. He let his gaze wander, just for a second, on the other. His tall, proud posture, his handsome face, basking in the dim candle light, his gentle, green eyes now looking at him full with hope, expecting help. How could a so-called monster look this innocent, the soldier couldn’t fathom. Why would he want to die? And more importantly, why would he want to be killed by somebody like Mike?

In his wandering, he almost missed the way the other’s lips pulled into a small smile. “You won’t help me, will you?”

Lifting his chin a bit, Mike looked the other in the eyes and he couldn’t help, but think ‘what a waste’, but shook his head anyway. “I don’t enjoy murdering people, but if you have a good enough reason I will. But you have lots and lots of explaining to do before we get to it.”

The man seemed caught off guard- almost surprised for a second, but his smile widened as hope filled him even more.

Mike shook his head, looking away. What a waste. He didn’t like the idea of killing the other. He kind of started to like him in a very twisted way, but he understood why somebody would want to die after 1200 years of living in the dark.

Olivier stepped closer to him, offering his hand gently, a smile as bright as the sun.

Mike glanced away with a low sigh. “What have I gotten myself into? Mike Baker, by the way.”

“I know!” with a soft laugh, the vampire shook his hand. “I told you, I have heard about you. And as for what… Let’s just sit down, and let me tell you my story first, okay?”

Stepping back a little, Mike looked him in the eyes. After a long pause, he nodded. “Okay. You can start with how you know me.”

Olivier nodded, and stepped into the other part of the attic, gesturing towards one of the armchairs. “Have a seat.”

Mike put his gun on the big table and followed Olivier into the ‘living-room’. He looked around a bit, observing the piles of books here and there and with an amused smirk, he sat down. The armchair creaked under his weight and he frowned. “How long since you invited anybody here?”

Olivier looked at him, sitting down on the couch. “This is a fairly new place for me, truth to be told, I have only lived here for about ten years. But in the term of having interaction with humans and other vampires… It’s been just about thirty years or so. I prefer being alone.”

Nodding, Mike kicked off his shoes and put his legs on top of a strong pile of books. Olivier rolled his eyes with a smile, but he didn’t say anything. “So,” Mike began. “Why me?”

Fidgeting with his fingers, the vampire looked away, and then back at Mike. “I knew your grandfather, and also your dad.”

Let me know what you think!! <3 

[highladyluck]

Wheel of Time Playlist

Mat Cauthon/Tuon Paendrag: The Soundtrack

Direct link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1LWolFwiwWQtcnQV7zceMj

30 songs, 1 hr 43 min. This is my take on the canonical arc of Mat Cauthon and Tuon Paendrag's relationship, told largely through swing music and 80s power ballads, with a few surprises here and there.

I put a lot of time and thought into this so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! There are spoilers in the playlist and track listing for Winter's Heart through A Memory of Light, since this is meant to mirror the narrative. It's organized mostly chronologically, though a few songs cover multiple books, or reference scenes placed slightly out of order, to better alternate points of view.

The order will be preserved if you have a paid Spotify account. (I know that's not ideal; I tried for several hours to get this into 8tracks through a series of increasingly convoluted methods but wasn't able to, as I don't directly own the music used.) If you can't listen to it in order, I've got the track listing under the cut so you can at least see what I was trying to do.

Track List:

1)      Royals (feat. Cory Gray) – Jake Coco, Corey Gray

“I’m no lord. I’ve more respect for myself than that.”

And we'll never be royals (royals)/

It don't run in our blood

2)      Almost There – Anika Noni Rose

Behind her veil, she was merely the High Lady Tuon, of no higher rank than many others of the Blood, but in her heart, always, she was Tuon Athaem Kore Paendrag, Daughter of the Nine Moons, and she had come to reclaim what had been stolen from her ancestor.

Ain't got time for messin' around/

And it's not my style

 3)      Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man – Sammy Hagar

“I’m a gambler, not a soldier. A lover.”

I ain't good looking, but you know I ain't shy/ Ain't afraid to look a girl in the eye

 4)      Primadonna – MARINA

 “She is my wife! Your bloody Daughter of the Nine Moons is my wife!”

Would you get down on your knees for me?/

Pop that pretty question, right now baby

 5)      Been Caught Stealing – Richard Cheese

And Mat and the others galloped out into the storm, carrying with them three Aes Sedai, two of them escaped damane, and the kidnapped heir to the Seanchan Crystal Throne, while behind them a far worse storm broke over Ebou Dar.

Walk right through the door/ Hey all right!/ If I get by, it's mine/ Mine all mine!

 6)      Luck Be A Lady – Frank Sinatra

“As soon as I can figure out how to send you home safe and sound, I will. I promise.”

[...]

“So long as you keep your promises, I will neither escape nor betray you in any way, nor will I cause dissension among your followers.”

Let’s keep this party polite/

Never get out of my sight/

Stick with me baby, I'm the guy that you came in with/

Luck be a lady tonight

 7)      Holding Out For A Hero – Bonnie Tyler

“Do you remember Hawkwing’s face, Toy?”

I'm holdin' out for a hero 'til the morning light/ He's gotta be sure/ And it's gotta be soon/ And he's gotta be larger than life

 8)      Play The Game – Queen

“I’ve changed my mind, Toy,” she murmured, placing the white stone carefully on the intersection of two lines near the center of the board. “You play very well.”

All you have to do is fall in love/

Play the game, everybody play the game/

Of love

 9)      Poker Face – Lady Gaga

Despite himself, Mat began to laugh. He threw his hat down on the floor and laughed. With everything, all his efforts, he did not know this woman at all! Not a bit! He laughed until his ribs hurt.

Can't read my, can't read my/ No, he can't read my poker face

 10)   Young Dumb And In Love – Mat Kearney

Her big eyes were dark pools a man could spend a lifetime swimming in. Her rare smiles could be mysterious or mischievous, and he prized them.

I'm talking much, and you don't make a sound/

The prettiest face and those rock-a-bye baby browns/

All I've waited for's come true/

To be young and dumb and in love

11)   Zebra – The Magnetic Fields

She was still beaming. Her big eyes shone. “She’s a very fine animal, Toy. A wonderful gift. Either you have a good eye, or you were very lucky.”

“I have a good eye, Precious,” he said warily. She seemed more delighted than even the razor called for.

so there's one thing I crave/ when my days become ho-hum and blah/ I want a zebra

 12)   Steppin’ Out With My Baby – Fred Astaire

He grinned at Tuon, who gave him a slight nod. He had missed this, dice in a common room or tavern, coin on the table, wondering how long his luck would hold. And a pretty woman at his side while he gambled. He wanted to laugh with pleasure.

Steppin' out with my honey/

Can't be bad to feel so good/

Never felt quite so sunny/

And I keep on knockin' wood

 13)   Mack the Knife – Louis Armstrong

Tuon nodded approvingly. The bloody woman was dying to see him get into a knife fight!

[...]

To him, the world consisted of his two knives and the men crowding each other to get at him, and his knives sought the places where men bleed most heavily. Some of those ancient memories came from men who had not been very nice at all.

You know when that shark bites

With his teeth, babe

Scarlet billows

Start to spread

Fancy gloves, though

Wears ol' Macheath, babe

So there's never, never a trace of red

 14)   Rescue Me – Fontella Bass

“If one army is out to kill you, then they probably all are, and there are too many soldiers between here and Ebou Dar. But don’t worry; I’ll find some way to get you back safely.”

[...]

His boot slid in a patch of blood, and as he staggered, he knew he was about to die.

Abruptly Tuon was there, left hand seizing the young woman’s wrist—not the wrist of the knife hand, worse luck—twisting so the arm went stiff and the girl was forced to double over.

Come on, baby, and rescue me/ 'Cause I need you by my side

 15)   Too Close For Comfort – Eydie Gormé

He bent his head to hers. She was far from the first woman he had kissed. He knew what he was about. Surprisingly—or then again, perhaps not so surprisingly—she did not know. She was a quick pupil though. Very quick.

Be wise, be smart, behave my heart,/ Don't upset your cart/ When he’s so close.

 16)   Fever – Michael Bublé

She laid fingers against his cheek. “I thought so,” she said in that slow honey drawl. “You’re feverish. Some of your wounds must be infected.”

[...]

Mat blinked. He gave her a kiss that had to have curled her toes, and all she said was that his face was hot?

When you put your arms around me/ I get a fever that's so hard to bear/ You give me fever when you kiss me/ Fever when you hold me tight

 17)   Burning Down The House – Tom Jones, The Cardigans

Karede felt as if Hartha had kicked him again. No, not Hartha. Aldazar. What madness was this? Cauthon looked like a man watching an arrow fly towards his face, knowing he had no chance to dodge.

“Bloody Matrim Cauthon is my husband. That is the wording you used, is it not?”

This had to be a fever-dream.

Watch out you might get what you're after/

Cool babies strange but not a stranger/

I'm an ordinary guy/

Burning down the house

 18)   Love Is A Battlefield – Pat Benatar

“The next time I see Seanchan, I expect it will be on the field somewhere, Tuon.” Burn him, it would be. His life seemed to run that way no matter what he did. “You’re not my enemy, but your Empire is.”

“Nor are you my enemy, husband,” she said coolly, “but I live to serve the Empire.”

Both of us knowing/ Love is a battlefield

 19)   Empire – Alpines

Tuon straightened her back. She had not thought to become Empress for many years yet. But she would do her duty.

[...]

Fortuona was empress.

 I'm building an empire/

I'm building with my body and soul/

I'm building an empire/

So little time and so much to do

 20)   Distant Stations – Andrew Bird

Stay well, you curious man, she thought, glancing back at the balcony, northward. Do not dig yourself into trouble deeper than you can climb to freedom. You are Prince of the Ravens now. Remember to act appropriately.

Wherever it is you are.

[...]

Thom finished by making a wavy line through the center, as one did at the start of any game of Snakes and Foxes.

[...]

Mat crouched beside a fern, unseen by the dozen or so Deathwatch Guards who stood in a ring around Tuon as she went through a series of fighting stances.

 It was a triangle/ With soft, round edges/ And a split down the middle of one corner

I waited for you/ But I never told you where I was/

I waited on the steps for you/ And I hid in the bushes whenever a car pulled into the parking lot

 21)   Black Coffee – Sarah Vaughan

I should very much like to have him back. She froze; she hadn’t meant to admit so much. She found her own emotions curious, however. She had felt safe with him, ridiculous though it seemed. And she wished he were with her now.

Black coffee/ Feelin' low as the ground/ It's drivin' me crazy/ This waitin' for my baby/ To maybe come around

 22)   Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps – Cake

“Love?” Tuon sounded surprised. “Perhaps we will come to love each other, Matrim, but I have always known I would marry to serve the Empire.”

[...]

“And do you love me?” he asked, forcing the words out.

 You won't admit you love me/

And so how am I ever to know?/

You only tell me/

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

 23)   Best of You (with Elle King) – Andy Grammar, Elle King

“When you saw me,” Mat explained, “with a dagger in hand—as if to throw at you—you didn’t call for your guards. You didn’t fear I was here to kill you. You looked over your shoulder to see what I was aiming at. That’s the most loving gesture I think a man could receive from a woman. Unless you’d like to sit on my knee for a little while…”

 'Cause the best of me loves the best of you/

And all the rest, I can see right through/

You trust in me and I'll trust you too/

'Cause the best of me, loves the best of you

 24)   Dance Me to the End of Love – Leonard Cohen

“I’m not going to sit on your knee,” Tuon said, pulling one arm out of her robe, exposing her breasts, “though I may allow you to sit on mine.”

 Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on/ Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long/ We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above/ Dance me to the end of love

 25)   Roll the Dice – Annie Vincent

Order in one hand—something known, something she could measure—chaos in the other. Chaos in the form of a one-eyed man who knew Artur Hawkwing’s face.

Had she not just told Selucia she would bet upon him?

Roll the dice (C'mon)/ Take a chance with life, just roll the dice/ This will be your time, so roll the dice/ And nothing's gonna stop you now - no, no, woah

 26)   Short Skirt/Long Jacket – Cake

She was something incredible, though. He felt a thrill each time she gave orders; she did it so naturally.

 I want a girl with a mind like a diamond/ I want a girl who knows what's best

 27)   They All Fall Down – XY Unlimited

“A last stand,” Mat said softly. “All of us, together, at a one place where the terrain favors us.”

 One by one the soldiers stumble/

See them as they stand and tumble/

You're here with me

 28)   Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off – Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong

“I’ve had it with you,” Knotai said, waving a hand at her. “You and your bloody Seanchan rules just keep getting in the way.”

“Then I have had it with you as well,” she said, raising her head.

[...]

“I suppose you give me the opportunity… perhaps the mandate… to follow what my heart would choose, whether or not it is wise.” She stood. “General Galgan, gather your troops. We return to the Field of Merrilor.”

 For we know we need each other/ So we better call the calling off off/ Let's call the whole thing off!

 29)   Never Knew I Needed – Kathryn

“Well, I guess I’m off the hook, now. You have an heir.”

“I have an heir,” Tuon said, “but I am the one off that hook. Now I can kill you, if I want.”

Mat felt his grin widen. “Well, we’ll have to see what we can work out. Tell me, do you ever play dice?”

 You are the best thing I never knew I needed/ So now it's so clear, I need you here always

 30)   Twin Human Highway Flares – The Mountain Goats

All he had to do was convince Tuon to forsake her throne and run off with him.

  You turned to me and asked me if I'd always be your boy/

As we drove across the river into western Illinois/

And on the railroad bridge, half a mile of solid steel/

Wheels were spitting out sparks, scraping at the rails

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 6

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary: The Social Media Coup

Notes: Meant to put this on Tumblr days ago but yay depression.

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

------------

Adrien was waiting for the dye to set when the girls returned, his hair securely under a shower cap. Apparently the stylist had decided to start by dying his entire head green, and the black would be applied to his roots afterward, with the logic of start with the light color, then apply the dark.

He’d never had his hair dyed, so he had just nodded. Luka hadn’t known if that was typical—apparently his normal hair color was black, and he just bleached and dyed the tips. It was amazing how much he was learning about his friends in just one evening.

The girls were carrying three large parcels, which they unpacked for them to take a look at. Several different styles of jeans—“We can return anything that doesn’t work,” Marinette said—a studded leather jacket, a hoodie that he just loved, and some jewelry.

“Chat Noir studs?” he asked incredulously. “They had those?”

Marinette nodded. “Kagami found them, and you mentioned Chat colors. We kind of changed that a little, but it seemed in keeping.”

Adrien grinned. “Thanks, girls. I really appreciate it.”

Kagami pulled out a large box. “There are also these boots. Marinette asked for my input on the choice, so I hope you find them to your liking.”

He stared after opening it, amazed to find what were basically stomping boots with huge buckles, reaching probably mid-calf.

“My father is going to have a heart attack,” he said after a moment, sounding not at all bothered by this. It was, after all, the point to freak the elder Agreste out. “You really went all-out! How much do I owe Jagged, Penny?”

Jagged was the one who responded. “Just some pics, I think. Hanging out like we’re jamming, yeah?”

That brought a bigger grin to Adrien’s face. If he had pictures, dressed in some of this and with his hair completely dyed, with Jagged Stone, it would be even more amazing. Not only for the sake of having those pictures, but for the reaction.

Luka brought it a bit further. “What about a video of the three of us jamming? Released to social media?”

Jagged and Penny exchanged a look, and she sighed. “Should I get a videographer?”

Marinette shook her head, a grin playing at her lips. “I think phones—we don’t want it to look set up. Just random. But we will need a keyboard for Adrien, and a guitar for Luka. And I know the perfect person to send it to first.”

All eyes turned to her.

“I babysit Nadja Chamack’s daughter, so I have her cell phone number.” Marinette’s voice was filled with glee.

Jagged grinned. “Bring out the big guns on this one.”

Penny nodded. “She may not be able to interview you without parental permission, but the video and news could make the rounds.”

“We’ll ruin my father’s announcement,” Adrien said with a laugh. “Serves him right.”

Kagami glanced at her phone. “We do not have a significant amount of time. Perhaps posting teasers on social media would be an apt way to start?”

“His hair isn’t finished yet,” Luka responded. “That will take perhaps another hour or so…”

Marinette nodded. “We can do other things. Adrien, you need to pick out a pair of jeans, and get dressed. We can get a shot of you and Luka cuddling, but without your heads in the shot. Start with a teaser to rile up social media.”

“We will want to drape the sofa with a sheet in order to hide the location. These sofas have a… distinctive color,” Penny added. “I have no doubt M. Agreste would recognize them, and then we would have difficulty.”

They got to work. Adrien chose a pair of the jeans that had silver decorative zippers randomly placed on the legs, moving to the bathroom to change out of his normal jeans.

As he did, something occurred to him. “Uh, Plagg?”

His kwami was nibbling on a bit of Camembert that had been in his jeans pocket. “Hm?”

“The hair… It’s not going to reveal my identity, right?”

Plagg laughed. “No way. I can change that without breaking a sweat. It’s worth it to see your dad’s face.”

Adrien relaxed—he’d been afraid he’d really screwed up. That was the last thing he wanted; Ladybug would kill him if he revealed his identity so stupidly.

“Anyway, I wouldn’t let you do anything that exposed your identity. But you’ll have to take off the studs before transforming—not sure if I could do much with those.”

When he left the bathroom, one section of the sofa was covered. Marinette eyed him critically before she nodded, muttering about fitting.

“You might need help with these boots,” Luka commented, holding one up.

“Definitely welcome. Do those lace, too?”

Kagami answered. “Yes. The buckles appear to be primarily decorative. Marinette was torn between these and a pair with three buckles and chains above and below. However, that seemed unnecessarily complicated.”

Adrien blanched at the idea. “Yeah, definitely.”

Luka helped him get the boots on, while Marinette snapped a leather bracelet on his right wrist. Kagami slid the green beaded one after that. Once the boots were securely buckled, he started to grab the box with the studs before realizing they wouldn’t show in the picture and could get ruined with the dye.

“Do you want to wear the leather jacket, or the hoodie?” Marinette asked.

While the leather jacket was tempting, Adrien didn’t think it was right for this. “I think the hoodie is more casual, and it’ll look better.”

“I agree,” Kagami said. “It will match with Luka, and add the appearance of being a couple further through the parallel dress.”

Marinette handed it to him, and then she and Luka fiddled with the sleeves so his bracelets would show.

Finally, they were ready, and Adrien and Luka sat on the couch. Not that Adrien knew what to do beyond that.

At Marinette’s urging, they slid closer together. After a few minutes of rearranging, Luka’s leg wound up bent behind Adrien, with him snuggled against the older boy’s opposite shoulder—he was careful that the shower cap didn’t slide up and cover them both with dye. Kagami rearranged one of his legs to be a shadow of Luka’s. It was a bit of an intimate position, but not too much; just enough to imply.

Then they played with arm positions, trying several options before deciding on one of Luka’s arms around him, and the other propped on Adrien’s bent knee.

“Adrien, lace your fingers with Luka’s hand, the one at your waist,” Penny interjected.

Adrien followed her instructions, hoping this looked natural. He was used to modeling, but had never done a shoot like this before—and Luka wasn’t a model, so hopefully it wasn’t making him uncomfortable.

Finally Marinette nodded and smiled. “Now just relax your muscles. Enjoy cuddling with your boyfriend. Both of you.”

“I feel like a mannequin,” Luka muttered, and Adrien couldn’t stop himself from laughing, easing against him helplessly. Luka’s fingers squeezed his slightly before easing, and the older boy pulled him a bit closer.

He barely registered the flashes from the girls’ cell phone cameras as they moved to different angles, catching multiple possibilities, even standing on different parts of the couch or the table.

A knock on the door interrupted them, and they hurried to hide in the kitchenette area. It was the hairdresser and some hotel staff carrying a specialty sink for washing the dye out, the time already come. He took off the hoodie so it wouldn’t stain.

While the stylist washed the dye out and applied the black, the others crowded around the two cell phones to decide the best picture, murmuring amongst themselves. Eventually they had a photo cropped and filtered.

When they showed it to Adrien, he was amazed they were able to get it to look so good with just a quick set-up. It showed his smile and Luka’s, but nothing above that, and the position looked natural. They looked happy, close. Just like it was a candid shot. He loved the way Luka’s painted nails offset his unpainted ones, their rings resting together in their interlaced hands. He wanted to get his nails done, too. Why not go all the way?

Marinette was born to do fashion, clearly, if she could put together a shoot like this in minutes.

One the stylist finished, Adrien used the computer to upload it to Instagram. It took a while to consider what message to include with it, but he settled on, “Someone very special in my life. Been keeping it quiet, but decided to go public finally. ♥”

He quickly shared it to all his official social media.

“Anyone want to bet on how long it takes my father to call?” he joked.

As it turned out, it took barely ten minutes, and Adrien’s phone was blowing up with social media notifications within the first minute. He rejected the call, and all the subsequent ones, and ignored the text messages. Especially the ones from Lila.

“You may want to turn off your phone so he is unable to track you,” Kagami commented.

The cacophony stopped once he followed her advice.

Luka smiled when his own phone pinged. “Juleka figured it out. She wants to know how long we’ve been dating.”

Marinette laughed, pulling out her sketchbook again. “Okay, on to the next phase. Details. How long, how many dates—and probably when you were supposed to be doing other stuff, Adrien, but Kagami and I can cover some of that. Maybe we can say we knew and helped you two spend time together?”

Then she got a wicked grin. “And you need to figure out pet names for each other, maybe?”

Adrien and Luka exchanged a look.

“I’m guessing Magic Fingers is inappropriate?” Luka drawled.

It took a while for them to stop laughing.

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Changes - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Whispers in the Silence

A/N – After a very successful vote in which Swerve won out, here is the next chapter. As always, a great thanks to @rocksinmuffin​ for continuing to inspire this story with their amazing imagines.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

As a rule, the Lost Light was a ship that prided itself on noise, adventure and laughter, but with you in sick bay, under the careful operation of three medics and two scientists, the ship held nothing but a deep and terrible silence. It didn’t matter that Swerve was quietly sobbing outside the operating theatre; the ship was still a static void in which no sound mattered.

If you were beside him, Swerve knew you would make the best of such a situation, probably saying something like, ‘Huh, I guess in space, nobody can hear you scream. Who’d’ve guessed?’

When Swerve was in the operating theatre all that time ago, you left him a message to listen to until he got back. He had listened to it over seventy-two times while you were in the medics’ servos, if only to hear your voice again. Primus, it wasn’t fair! Swerve couldn’t leave you a message because you weren’t Cybertronian, and worse than that, he wasn’t even allowed to be in the same room as you because Ratchet had thrown him out when he started to get in the way.

Swerve looked up when he heard a door open, but it wasn’t the operating theatre, it was only the waiting room entrance that led to the decks. Tailgate waved awkwardly at Swerve, soon lowering his servo out of respect. He and Cyclonus simply made their way to the right-hand wall and left two small vials of their innermost energon before leaving to stand with the bots in the corridor; that made exactly ninety-seven vials of innermost energon thus far. Swerve was glad that none of the others tried talking to him upon leaving their energon; for once, he was in no mood to talk. He also appreciated that the bots outside were staggering their queue times in leaving their innermost energon. One or two bots would come in every half hour or so to leave their vials, and before the day was through, Swerve was sure there would be almost two-hundred vials for you. It seemed everyone loved you, almost as much as he did.

Another round of sobbing racked Swerve’s body. He pulled out his locket with your hair in it, clutching it close to his spark, as if it might will you back to full health. The two of you had only been married one year, how could the universe be so cruel as to threaten that so soon?

“Swerve?”

Swerve shook his head, as a memory of your voice surfaced, followed closely by a visual feed of the event in his processor’s optic.

“(Y/N)?” Swerve beamed, repeating your confused tone, even though he was well-aware of what you were going to ask.

“I um- I know we said we were going to re-decorate the hab-suite, but why… why does it look like the friends set?”

“You don’t like purple?” He asked all too innocently.

You jumped as a laugh-track played aloud, “Oh my God…. You didn’t. Swerve, tell me you didn’t add a laugh track to the apartment.”

Swerve looked far into the background, winking at nothing, “Maybe.”

The laughter briefly continued, only escalating when you face-palmed.

“Why are you like this?”

At that, Swerve only chuckled and splashed you with paint, triggering the first of what he hoped would be many paint fights along your life together.

Coolant sprung from Swerve’s optics and he choked out another sob. That memory was from April Fool’s Day and he had re-decorated the apartment with you properly the day after. Swerve prayed to both Primus and every deity he knew of on Earth that you would come out of this okay and that he wouldn’t have to live with the weight of his mistake forever.

He needed you. Couldn’t the universe see that? He needed you to reassure him that everything would be okay. He needed you to come in the bar every day and lean over to kiss him, no matter what anyone else muttered under their breaths about him. He needed you to waylay the fears and doubts from his mind that he wasn’t good enough.

More than that, he wanted to be there for you as-well.

“(Y/N)! ARE YOU SICK? PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!”

Swerve scrunched his optics shut as another memory hit him like a tonne of bricks.

You were curled up in pain, hugging yourself and groaning. You forced yourself to shake your head, shuddering as you breathed out slowly. “Shark week,” You winced.

“SHARK WEEK?” Swerve cried. You had already forewarned him of this, but he didn’t think it would hurt you so badly. Hurriedly, he ran to your tiny cupboards, bringing out extra blankets, a two-litre bottle of water, several boxes of pills (one of which surely had to be the right one), a large bar of synthetic chocolate, and a heat pad. After you mentioned shark week the first time to him, Swerve had visited Ratchet to learn what would help you and Ratchet had given him these supplies.

“Which do you need?” Swerve asked frantically.

You could tell he was about to go into full-blown panic mode, as he usually did when he first encountered some new experience of organic life that he hadn’t seen before. Before you were married, you had generally avoided him when this happened to save him from any embarrassment, but now the two of you were married, you knew he wouldn’t be awkward about organic matters; well, not that awkward anyway.

Sitting up slowly, you took a few sips of water, smiling when the nausea passed, “Good job sweetie. I’m all better now.”

Swerve pointed an accusatory finger at you, “No! that’s your placating smile, not your happy smile. Tell me the truth, do you need Ratchet? Are you still in pain? If so, how much pain? Should I get Rodimus to stop on a nearby planet? I could-”

For once, you left Swerve to rant on, while you simply went to sleep. In retrospect, that wasn’t your best idea as he gasped and sped of to the medical bay, dragging Ratchet back with him, but honestly you were too tired at the time to answer his questions. After giving you the once-over, Ratchet gave Swerve a stern-talking to about heeding his research into humans before wasting his time.

“If (Y/N) says she’s fine, she’s fine,” Ratchet glowered, walking out of the hab-suite. “Next time, listen to her before you come to me.”

Swerve chewed his lip anxiously, before approaching you again. Now you were well-rested, you were sat under a blanket with the heating pad over your stomach.

“You’re really okay?” he asked.

“With you to take care of me? Always.”

Swerve stared at the operating theatre door. That was the problem; he wasn’t there for you now. Granted, Swerve was smarter than most bots gave him credit for, but he wasn’t a doctor or a scientist. He didn’t have healer’s hands. He was a barman. Why in Primus’ name had you married him instead of somebody useful? You could have been with somebody who listened to you when you told him not to cross that bridge. You could have been with someone who hadn’t got you shot.

The hall door swished open again and Rung came quietly in to leave his innermost energon. He looked like he wanted to say something to Swerve, perhaps even comfort him, but he knew the protocol was to stay quiet when somebody's Conjunx Endurae was in in fate’s servos. Swerve could have invited him over, giving Rung permission to comfort him. After all, Rung was almost like a creator to you, but quite frankly, Swerve didn’t think he deserved to be comforted when all of this was his fault.

“What are you doing married to Swerve anyway? Don’t you know there are better mechs onboard this ship?”

Swerve could hear the cheesy 70’s music playing in his bar as if it was yesterday. He had briefly left you to grab some supplies from the back but when he heard Getaway say that, he remained hidden, knowing it was wrong to listen in on you like this, but needing to hear your response all the same.

“Please don’t talk about my husband that way,” You said, giving the overcharged mech a chance to back off and apologise before you ripped into him.

“Come on, he’s not even here right now,” Getaway guffawed, admittedly somewhat jealous that you loved Swerve instead of him, even though the two of you had hardly spoken before; Getaway always coveted that which he did not have. “He won’t hear what you really think about him.”

‘If only that were true,’ Swerve thought, though he still continued to eavesdrop.

“I mean, who would really notice if you and I just kind of slipped away right now to have some fun. You’ve got to have wondered what it would be like with another, more charming mech right?”

Swerve gulped, sure he was going to purge his tanks out of nervousness. He knew for a fact that most mechs considered Getaway to be charming and none considered him to be.

“Hmm,” you said thoughtfully. “You’re really good at sex?”

Swerve fell against the wall, wanting to claw out his audials, but frozen in place as the conversation continued.

“The best.”

“Good, then go fuck yourself, and never ever talk about my husband like that again. Swerve is ten times the mech you are.”

Giddy elation filled Swerve up and he rushed out from the supply closet, pretending he hadn’t heard a thing. He could have waited a little bit longer to compose himself, but he was afraid Getaway might be just overcharged enough to hurt you if you injured his pride any more than you already had. Getaway left irately and you turned your attention to Swerve who pretended he hadn’t heard a thing.

“What’s his problem?” Swerve asked casually, though he could hardly keep the giggle out of his vocaliser.

You shrugged, “Small man syndrome.”

“Huh? Okay, whatever you say, (Y/N).”

Before any more memories could torture him, the med-bay door finally opened and Ratchet stepped out, looking grimmer than ever. Swerve wanted to blurt out a million questions, but fearing for your life and knowing every second counted, he waited through the agonising seconds for Ratchet to speak.

“I have sent the medical team into the back so you and (Y/N) can spend some time alone, but I hope you are ready to face the consequences of what you have done Swerve. The lies you’ve told her – to everyone on this ship – will not go unnoticed.”

Swerve swallowed fearfully, “But she’s alive? She’s going to be alright?”

Ratchet considered the question before answering, “Physically, yes. Mentally however… Only time will tell. If you will excuse me, I’m going to join my team in med-bay two, where we will wait until you are ready.”

Swerve waited momentarily for Ratchet to back-track though the medical bay; it gave him a few minutes to compose himself and think of what he would say when he saw you. Then, forgetting his composure, he ran into the medical bay, stopping short when he saw you, in your new Cybertronian body. He knew there was a chance this would happen, but he had told Perceptor and Brainstorm to wait until they were sure your organic body couldn’t be saved.

Swerve looked to the bed across from you, where a sheet covered the corpse of your previous organic body. Why hadn’t he immediately told you about the mini-bot shell he’d had made? If he had, he knew the conversation ahead would be easier. All the same, your optics were offline and Swerve knew by instinct that Ratchet and the others had left them off to give him the chance to explain before you saw yourself.

Before he approached you, he took a few silent steps over to the organic corpse. He held the corner of the sheet that covered it, hesitating before he lifted it to look into your cold dead eyes. He needed to see this, to burn it into his memory of what his mistakes brought on. Granted, your mind and memories were still alive, but this mess of a cadaver that had been stitched up by servos inexperienced with organics, that still had patches of dried blood caked around the sealed wound, was his cross to bear.

Finally, when he could look at it no longer, Swerve covered the corpse with a sheet again, and moved to your side.

“(Y/N),” Swerve whispered.

You moved your head frantically to your left where he was standing, “SWERVE?! I- I CAN’T SEE- I CAN’T-”

Swerve grabbed your servo, “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m going to explain everything. What- What do you remember?”

You went quiet for a long time, thinking back to the bridge. Almost silently, you spoke, “I was shot.”

Swerve nodded affirmation, speaking aloud when he remembered you couldn’t see, “Yeah… That was it. (Y/N), I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. It was all my fault. I never should have put you through that. Uh- (Y/N), the docs here, they’ve been working on you for a really long time.”

“Swerve… Am I blind?”

“No sweetheart, that’s only temporary, I promise you’re not blind.”

“Then are you- are you in holoform? You hand feels so small, but it doesn’t feel like skin. Swerve, what’s wrong with me? Nothing feels right. I don’t feel real. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I feel all wrong inside.”

“Yeah, about that… (Y/N), I need to tell you something… Something I should have told you when we got married, and I need you to listen okay.”

“Okay,” You shivered, and coolant leaked from your offlined optics.

Swerve pressed his helm to your servo. “From the moment we wed, I was so scared something like this might happen… That you’d get hurt and I’d lose you. So, I had Perceptor and Brainstorm work on something, a- a new body of sorts. I- I was scared that you would think I was trying to change you, so I didn’t warn you about it, but now- Well, now you’re different.”

“Swerve,” You whimpered, “You’re not making sense.”

“I know… (Y/N), I’m going to sort out your eyes, make them work right, y’know. Please trust me, okay?”

It seemed you weren’t focusing on what he was saying, as you groaned, “My head hurts.”

Swerve sighed solemnly, then opened your head panel to reveal your processor. From there, he connected the wire that would allow you normal control of your optics. As your optics flickered to life, you caught a reflection of yourself and Swerve in the chrome wall across from you. Your previously human mind tried and failed to connect with the newer faster Cybertronian processor. You couldn’t make sense of what was happening. Swerve had his servos inside your head and all you could feel was numbness where you should have felt pain. Everything from your past and present crashed together in a way you couldn’t handle. Then, you screamed.

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